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1
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Action sequences are supervised by professionals.
Do not attempt to re-create to avoid any risks.
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泳池的身體
3
00:01:29,917 --> 00:01:32,583
那年剛補滿水
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00:01:32,583 --> 00:01:35,792
等著夏日戀情綻放
5
00:01:45,875 --> 00:01:48,708
當人魚救起王子時
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並不會知道海裡的故事這麼深 這麼冷
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00:02:06,042 --> 00:02:10,375
他以為是失溫的雞皮疙瘩
8
00:02:10,375 --> 00:02:13,875
靠近才知道是天鵝絨般的花瓣
9
00:02:15,583 --> 00:02:17,042
火辣
10
00:02:31,917 --> 00:02:36,917
原來這就是心動的最初
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00:02:36,917 --> 00:02:38,542
純愛的開始
12
00:05:03,958 --> 00:05:06,125
像現在這樣半夢半醒的
13
00:05:06,125 --> 00:05:08,250
最舒服了 不是嗎
14
00:05:10,042 --> 00:05:12,042
想上岸啦
15
00:05:21,833 --> 00:05:24,125
時間到了嗎
16
00:05:24,125 --> 00:05:25,458
還沒啊
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00:05:27,583 --> 00:05:29,500
我把時間延長了
18
00:05:32,625 --> 00:05:34,375
像現在這樣半夢半醒的
19
00:05:34,375 --> 00:05:36,042
最舒服了 不是嗎
20
00:05:37,375 --> 00:05:39,333
想上岸啦
21
00:05:41,958 --> 00:05:44,250
幹 別鬧啦
22
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喂
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00:05:57,875 --> 00:06:00,250
該起床囉 小綠老師
24
00:06:02,833 --> 00:06:05,500
可是我不想上班
25
00:06:06,208 --> 00:06:08,875
但每個禮拜一的早上有朝會耶
26
00:06:08,875 --> 00:06:11,375
不到的話校長會唸喔
27
00:06:13,250 --> 00:06:17,667
對啊 長官真的很雞掰欸
28
00:06:17,667 --> 00:06:20,500
沒關係啊 你再睡一下
29
00:06:21,667 --> 00:06:25,833
像現在這樣半夢半醒的最舒服了 不是嗎
30
00:06:27,583 --> 00:06:29,875
我夢見你在夢裡夢到我
31
00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:32,458
你怎麼知道…
32
00:06:32,458 --> 00:06:35,042
你猜啊 溫馨提醒
33
00:06:35,042 --> 00:06:37,333
例會真的會來不及喔
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00:06:38,667 --> 00:06:40,167
祝你今天順利
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00:06:42,708 --> 00:06:46,500
下去…我要上班啦 快點
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下去
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幹
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00:06:59,958 --> 00:07:02,167
我今天早上夢遺了
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00:07:02,917 --> 00:07:05,917
蛤 你在說什麼
40
00:07:15,833 --> 00:07:18,958
早上醒來整個床都是濕的
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00:07:20,542 --> 00:07:24,125
媽咧 簡直就是
42
00:07:24,125 --> 00:07:27,417
水漫金山寺
43
00:07:29,375 --> 00:07:33,000
我沒夢遺過 也沒聽過哪個女生會夢遺
44
00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:34,750
可是我夢遺過啊
45
00:07:34,750 --> 00:07:37,250
不是尿的味道
46
00:07:40,333 --> 00:07:42,958
不好意思 那是什麼味道
47
00:07:44,042 --> 00:07:45,542
為什麼有百合
48
00:07:45,542 --> 00:07:49,792
百合遇到沈香有一種廉價殯儀館的味道
49
00:07:49,792 --> 00:07:51,333
蝴蝶蘭呢
50
00:07:51,333 --> 00:07:53,833
報告總監 報價太貴
51
00:07:56,167 --> 00:08:00,292
蝴蝶蘭的花期比較長 應該會比較划算吧
52
00:08:00,708 --> 00:08:03,667
太太覺得敬佛的花不宜太過豔麗
53
00:08:03,667 --> 00:08:05,333
我折衷兩位的意見
54
00:08:05,333 --> 00:08:08,625
沒有減少太多蘭花 增加一些百合
55
00:08:08,625 --> 00:08:11,333
整體看起來也比較豪華一點
56
00:08:11,333 --> 00:08:15,750
大廳是給客人的第一印象 太太很堅持
57
00:08:15,750 --> 00:08:18,542
嗯 對不起
58
00:08:23,333 --> 00:08:26,625
欸 小綠 該不會你上輩子記憶還在吧
59
00:08:27,792 --> 00:08:31,167
不會吧 都切掉幾年了
60
00:08:31,500 --> 00:08:36,458
不過最近的夢好煩喔 很像鬼打牆
61
00:08:36,917 --> 00:08:40,917
一直夢到同樣的人 同樣的...
62
00:08:41,375 --> 00:08:43,708
你有沒有聽過
63
00:08:51,500 --> 00:08:56,167
觀世音菩薩 -煩欸 不是啦
64
00:08:56,167 --> 00:09:01,208
我說的是登登…
65
00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:03,000
反正就是某個固炮 -沒聽過
66
00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:05,500
每次事後菸在我身上彈的那種旋律
67
00:09:05,500 --> 00:09:08,458
Care？ 沒救了你
68
00:09:08,458 --> 00:09:10,417
滅火群那個嗎
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00:09:10,750 --> 00:09:12,625
滅火群都是群得來速
70
00:09:12,625 --> 00:09:14,375
褲子脫了就要吸
71
00:09:14,375 --> 00:09:16,375
純幹沒有戀愛感我不行
72
00:09:16,375 --> 00:09:18,042
我說的是自由氏
73
00:09:18,042 --> 00:09:20,083
群主自介說自己手指很厲害
74
00:09:20,083 --> 00:09:22,583
練過布袋戲的那個單親霸
75
00:09:22,583 --> 00:09:24,667
傳說中被他愛上的女人
76
00:09:24,667 --> 00:09:28,125
就可以獨享馬賽海鮮湯的那個
77
00:09:28,125 --> 00:09:29,750
你們到幾壘啦
78
00:09:29,750 --> 00:09:32,333
一壘而已啊 就打炮
79
00:09:32,333 --> 00:09:35,167
頂多賽後檢討的時候
80
00:09:35,167 --> 00:09:38,083
一起喝啤酒 吃多多鹹水雞
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00:09:38,083 --> 00:09:40,917
多多
82
00:09:40,917 --> 00:09:43,500
是不是有手牽手逛夜市啊
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00:09:43,500 --> 00:09:46,333
白 那都到三壘了好嗎
84
00:09:46,333 --> 00:09:49,708
我好好的人魚公主不當 幹嘛上岸當人啊
85
00:09:49,708 --> 00:09:51,333
而且他根本不是菜
86
00:09:51,333 --> 00:09:53,375
你今天不用上班啊
87
00:09:53,375 --> 00:09:54,667
病假啊
88
00:09:55,167 --> 00:09:57,292
昨天醫生都警告我說
89
00:09:57,292 --> 00:09:59,208
我快瞎了 叫我不要再用電腦
90
00:09:59,583 --> 00:10:03,708
小綠老師 你現在是不是在追劇
91
00:10:03,708 --> 00:10:05,167
嗯啊 要不然咧
92
00:10:05,167 --> 00:10:09,208
阿公 過門囉 -阿彌陀佛
93
00:10:09,208 --> 00:10:11,500
我找了好多妹妹圖來比對
94
00:10:11,500 --> 00:10:12,875
為什麼我覺得我的…
95
00:10:12,875 --> 00:10:15,208
你視訊開出來了 -啊幹 對不起
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00:10:15,625 --> 00:10:17,000
阿彌陀佛
97
00:10:18,083 --> 00:10:21,792
欸 我覺得我妹妹形狀怪怪的欸
98
00:10:21,792 --> 00:10:24,042
每一朵花本來就不一樣啊
99
00:10:24,042 --> 00:10:27,750
哪有 我覺得一定是哪裡有問題
100
00:10:27,750 --> 00:10:30,375
所以怎麼做 都沒有傳說中那種...
101
00:10:30,375 --> 00:10:32,875
昇天到南天門的感覺
102
00:10:32,875 --> 00:10:37,083
別喔 你去過那裡之後就會掉到地獄喔
103
00:10:37,083 --> 00:10:38,125
為什麼
104
00:10:48,542 --> 00:10:50,958
總監 新的信封打樣來了
105
00:10:50,958 --> 00:10:52,833
請您過目一下
106
00:10:54,167 --> 00:10:57,958
這個logo我記得應該要燙兩個不同層次的銀
107
00:10:57,958 --> 00:11:01,458
然後這個紙的磅數好像也不太一樣了
108
00:11:01,458 --> 00:11:04,458
執行長在預算會議上指示的
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00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:10,625
報告總監 客人快到了先挑一下衣服吧
110
00:11:10,625 --> 00:11:12,792
你決定吧
111
00:11:12,792 --> 00:11:14,083
選黑的
112
00:11:15,208 --> 00:11:19,125
今天我們鼎海跟DR建設正式聯手合作成功
113
00:11:19,125 --> 00:11:21,958
來 大家舉杯 -可以上了
114
00:11:21,958 --> 00:11:25,833
謝謝白叔叔 我替我爸爸敬各位
115
00:11:33,875 --> 00:11:38,208
菊理媛 有意思
116
00:11:38,542 --> 00:11:40,292
姊
117
00:11:45,958 --> 00:11:48,250
Matt喜歡喝的是威士忌
118
00:11:48,917 --> 00:11:51,375
報告執行長 我去後面拿麥卡倫
119
00:11:51,375 --> 00:11:54,583
不用了 沒有OMAR的話就用不麻煩了
120
00:11:54,583 --> 00:11:55,875
是
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00:11:58,500 --> 00:12:00,083
欸 Queenie
122
00:12:00,083 --> 00:12:02,750
我怎麼看你跟Matt像陌生人哪
123
00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:07,458
以後我們兩家可是要長遠又深入的合作啊 -對啊
124
00:12:07,458 --> 00:12:10,875
其實我以前在紐約的時候就認識Queenie了
125
00:12:10,875 --> 00:12:12,708
想追她的男生
126
00:12:12,708 --> 00:12:15,458
多到可以組一個籃球隊
127
00:12:17,625 --> 00:12:19,458
是棒球隊
128
00:12:19,458 --> 00:12:20,708
人比較多
129
00:12:23,208 --> 00:12:25,167
Queenie長那麼漂亮
130
00:12:25,167 --> 00:12:27,708
白董 你一定很捨不得吧
131
00:12:27,708 --> 00:12:29,625
其實我這一次回來
132
00:12:29,625 --> 00:12:32,708
已經偷偷的跟Queenie約會了很久
133
00:12:32,708 --> 00:12:35,833
今天這一局呢 就是要順便告訴爸
134
00:12:35,833 --> 00:12:37,958
姐跟Matt兩個的事
135
00:12:38,750 --> 00:12:42,875
Queenie你保守秘密的功夫太到家了
136
00:12:43,458 --> 00:12:45,417
給我自己一個驚喜啊
137
00:12:46,167 --> 00:12:48,750
驚喜
138
00:12:52,125 --> 00:12:56,917
來 這一杯敬我們DR建設還有鼎海
139
00:12:56,917 --> 00:13:02,333
以後我們兩大家族要一起打造天堂與人間 乾杯
140
00:13:02,333 --> 00:13:05,125
說得太好了 來 乾杯
141
00:13:13,667 --> 00:13:15,458
是你女兒不想回去見你的
142
00:13:15,458 --> 00:13:16,792
我們的事跟她無關
143
00:13:16,792 --> 00:13:20,042
我警告你 贍養費你已經拖了半年
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00:13:20,875 --> 00:13:22,250
布丁
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00:13:25,875 --> 00:13:27,500
過來吃飯
146
00:13:30,583 --> 00:13:32,083
為什麼不理我
147
00:13:41,250 --> 00:13:42,292
喂 Sammy
148
00:13:42,292 --> 00:13:44,042
我之前寫給Lucifer的歌
149
00:13:44,042 --> 00:13:47,417
中間的歌詞我想改一下 改成
150
00:13:48,042 --> 00:13:49,875
你從我的夢中甦醒
151
00:13:49,875 --> 00:13:51,958
我還貪戀他身軀的灣
152
00:13:51,958 --> 00:13:54,542
海沒有岸 床沒有框
153
00:13:54,542 --> 00:13:57,208
你這是在寫3P吧
154
00:13:57,208 --> 00:14:00,542
我擔心跟他的純愛形象會有落差欸
155
00:14:00,542 --> 00:14:02,417
你考慮一下囉
156
00:14:02,417 --> 00:14:06,083
這句歌詞是今天早上我靈光乍現想到的
157
00:14:08,417 --> 00:14:11,375
哪個女生給你這個靈感
158
00:14:11,375 --> 00:14:12,375
你啊
159
00:14:15,958 --> 00:14:19,125
你老婆前兩天有打給我
160
00:14:19,125 --> 00:14:22,667
我說你們哪 總是在輸贏
161
00:14:24,750 --> 00:14:27,667
這個週末我會去海釣會帶一點海鮮回來
162
00:14:27,667 --> 00:14:29,125
你有沒有空
163
00:14:29,125 --> 00:14:31,292
週末有約了 抱歉
164
00:14:32,792 --> 00:14:36,375
沒關係 你忙 -掰
165
00:14:37,417 --> 00:14:38,958
欸 大家都到齊了吧
166
00:14:38,958 --> 00:14:40,583
到了到了
167
00:14:40,583 --> 00:14:42,958
昨天晚上我有查了一下後台
168
00:14:42,958 --> 00:14:45,333
《外遇》的預告片反應還不錯
169
00:14:45,333 --> 00:14:47,250
可是火沒有炒起來
170
00:14:47,250 --> 00:14:49,542
不然這樣 大家角色互換一下
171
00:14:49,542 --> 00:14:51,417
A組的 "在那編" "在海編"
172
00:14:51,417 --> 00:14:53,500
你們改成用台男的角度去酸異女
173
00:14:53,500 --> 00:14:56,375
那B組 "在天編" 就用女性的角度去罵沙豬
174
00:14:56,375 --> 00:14:57,750
越兇越好
175
00:14:57,750 --> 00:15:00,042
不是啊 我不要反串異男
176
00:15:00,042 --> 00:15:02,125
認真的時候會真的生氣
177
00:15:02,125 --> 00:15:03,875
而且我心臟不好剛做支架
178
00:15:03,875 --> 00:15:06,000
你剛做支架不就是要趁這次機會
179
00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:09,042
測試一下會不會心臟病復發嗎
180
00:15:09,042 --> 00:15:11,042
新的一天
181
00:15:11,042 --> 00:15:14,083
要找新的題材煽風點火 興風作浪
182
00:15:14,083 --> 00:15:16,583
如果沒有別的事情 其他人先下線吧
183
00:15:16,583 --> 00:15:18,875
"在那編" 你留下來
184
00:15:22,625 --> 00:15:24,042
失戀啦
185
00:15:25,458 --> 00:15:29,375
那你失戀去操客人祖宗八代有比較開心嗎
186
00:15:29,375 --> 00:15:31,375
要操就去操真人啊
187
00:15:31,375 --> 00:15:33,042
約炮約起來啊
188
00:15:33,042 --> 00:15:34,708
在你失戀的時候去約炮
189
00:15:34,708 --> 00:15:36,500
全世界的人都不會怪你
190
00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:38,750
還會反過來可憐你 同情你
191
00:15:38,750 --> 00:15:40,208
教宗還會賜福你
192
00:15:40,208 --> 00:15:41,958
老天保佑
193
00:15:51,625 --> 00:15:53,208
我長話短說
194
00:15:53,208 --> 00:15:56,167
贍養費我已經信託了 去找律師拿
195
00:15:56,167 --> 00:15:58,708
是你違約在先不讓Lorraine回來
196
00:15:58,708 --> 00:16:00,292
而且我要提醒你
197
00:16:00,292 --> 00:16:03,208
歇斯底里的態度會影響小朋友的人格發展
198
00:16:03,208 --> 00:16:06,458
請你檢查你的態度
199
00:16:28,875 --> 00:16:31,708
你看 我做的南瓜蛋糕
200
00:16:31,708 --> 00:16:36,875
店長稱讚說吃起來有栗子的味道 很特別
201
00:16:36,875 --> 00:16:39,917
你自己親手做的 這麼厲害
202
00:16:39,917 --> 00:16:41,542
那先吃你的
203
00:16:42,750 --> 00:16:44,917
這裡禁帶外食耶
204
00:16:44,917 --> 00:16:47,667
不可以嗎
205
00:16:47,667 --> 00:16:49,208
沒關係吧
206
00:16:49,875 --> 00:16:52,792
不好吧 等一下被發現
207
00:16:54,542 --> 00:16:56,625
你是怎麼知道我們的
208
00:16:57,292 --> 00:16:59,208
是 "19.5" 先認識你的
209
00:16:59,208 --> 00:17:02,792
我看過你們的所有影片
210
00:17:02,792 --> 00:17:04,708
感覺滿厲害
211
00:17:18,500 --> 00:17:21,292
欸 你不覺得很奇怪嗎
212
00:17:21,292 --> 00:17:23,792
是什麼時候開始流行把髮捲戴在頭上
213
00:17:23,792 --> 00:17:26,500
然後出門逛街喝咖啡的
214
00:17:26,500 --> 00:17:28,167
我也不懂耶
215
00:17:28,500 --> 00:17:31,125
可能覺得自己很瞎趴吧
216
00:17:31,125 --> 00:17:33,208
其實我覺得滿幼稚的
217
00:17:33,208 --> 00:17:35,208
我們班很多人也這樣子
218
00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:38,875
喔 你高中生啊
219
00:17:40,750 --> 00:17:44,167
想不到你年紀這麼小就喜歡吃綜合口味
220
00:17:48,125 --> 00:17:53,083
今天我生日欸 就不能違規一下嗎
221
00:18:01,500 --> 00:18:04,125
要不要試看看
222
00:18:04,125 --> 00:18:06,333
我的有沒有比較濕
223
00:18:18,458 --> 00:18:20,833
全線預備 開始射擊
224
00:18:33,167 --> 00:18:34,667
張家福
225
00:18:34,667 --> 00:18:37,000
聽教官說你槍法很準
226
00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:40,375
每一槍都打到要害你想打死嫌犯啊
227
00:18:40,375 --> 00:18:43,583
再不及格你就一直補考 不要休假了
228
00:18:43,583 --> 00:18:45,833
報告長官 我每天都在看監視器
229
00:18:45,833 --> 00:18:48,500
醫生說再這樣下去我可能會瞎掉
230
00:18:48,500 --> 00:18:50,792
瞎掉還那麼準啊
231
00:18:50,792 --> 00:18:53,583
既然那麼辛苦那你趕快申請職災補助啊
232
00:18:53,583 --> 00:18:55,583
早點退一退啊
233
00:18:55,583 --> 00:18:58,708
然後拿到錢喔 可以趕快再去整一整
234
00:18:58,708 --> 00:19:01,125
讓你看起來更像真的女人
235
00:19:03,500 --> 00:19:06,833
我本來就是真的 謝謝長官
236
00:19:47,417 --> 00:19:48,958
喂 真的假的
237
00:19:48,958 --> 00:19:50,667
要烙人過去嗎
238
00:20:45,542 --> 00:20:48,125
七點半手術房的嗎
239
00:22:05,167 --> 00:22:06,250
名字
240
00:22:08,250 --> 00:22:09,833
Bajingan
241
00:22:10,333 --> 00:22:11,833
安全詞
242
00:22:12,792 --> 00:22:13,708
掰掰
243
00:22:14,542 --> 00:22:15,875
再一次
244
00:22:18,375 --> 00:22:19,625
掰掰
245
00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:43,667
看清楚
246
00:24:31,417 --> 00:24:32,542
十
247
00:24:43,375 --> 00:24:44,792
九
248
00:24:49,542 --> 00:24:50,708
說啊
249
00:24:55,458 --> 00:24:56,792
八
250
00:24:58,292 --> 00:24:59,875
說你愛我
251
00:25:02,833 --> 00:25:04,250
七
252
00:25:09,667 --> 00:25:11,250
六
253
00:25:17,125 --> 00:25:18,375
五
254
00:25:19,708 --> 00:25:21,708
說你愛我
255
00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:28,458
四
256
00:25:35,042 --> 00:25:36,292
三
257
00:25:41,583 --> 00:25:43,375
說你愛我
258
00:25:52,083 --> 00:25:53,458
說你是我的
259
00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:05,958
小綠老師 好不好吃
260
00:26:05,958 --> 00:26:09,625
什麼蛋糕啊 這是發粿吧
261
00:26:09,625 --> 00:26:14,500
正確來說應該是南瓜口味的栗子蛋糕
262
00:26:14,500 --> 00:26:17,958
欸... 我排了一個小時的多多鹹水雞請你吃
263
00:26:17,958 --> 00:26:20,333
結果換來這什麼 乾掉的發粿
264
00:26:20,333 --> 00:26:22,458
人家小女生一片心意嘛
265
00:26:22,458 --> 00:26:24,333
不然房費我來出
266
00:26:25,500 --> 00:26:28,917
不要 訂房軟體點數要過期了
267
00:26:30,042 --> 00:26:32,167
可是我不會過期啊
268
00:26:33,750 --> 00:26:35,708
蒜味很重欸
269
00:26:39,125 --> 00:26:42,500
蒜頭就是Pesto
270
00:26:42,500 --> 00:26:46,917
鹹水雞是南國Pesto佐嫩雞
271
00:26:46,917 --> 00:26:52,000
哇賽 你味精工廠啊 這麼會唬爛
272
00:26:53,083 --> 00:26:54,875
你要懂得觀想啊
273
00:26:56,958 --> 00:27:00,583
你腦袋裡面想著歐洲 就會在歐洲啊
274
00:27:06,250 --> 00:27:08,292
欸 今天有點奇怪
275
00:27:08,625 --> 00:27:11,042
上次吃腳腳的時候覺得是25.5
276
00:27:11,042 --> 00:27:12,958
今天怎麼感覺是26啊
277
00:27:13,375 --> 00:27:14,750
煩捏
278
00:27:22,583 --> 00:27:25,625
小女生搭了兩個小時客運你不陪她
279
00:27:26,333 --> 00:27:28,875
人很多 要排隊好不好
280
00:27:28,875 --> 00:27:32,250
齁 這麼夯
281
00:27:33,333 --> 00:27:34,917
她是 "19.5" 約的啊
282
00:27:34,917 --> 00:27:39,083
而且她後面還安排了一對孿生兄弟丼
283
00:27:39,792 --> 00:27:41,333
刺激吧
284
00:27:42,125 --> 00:27:45,625
這麼哈扣 然後咧
285
00:27:46,750 --> 00:27:49,042
然後我跟那個小女生
286
00:27:49,042 --> 00:27:51,542
就先在咖啡店裡面坐著等
287
00:27:53,167 --> 00:27:58,083
我們兩個戴著藍牙耳機
288
00:27:59,000 --> 00:28:01,000
很小聲的
289
00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:02,708
聊色
290
00:28:07,208 --> 00:28:10,083
我們家是傢具行
291
00:28:12,500 --> 00:28:15,458
有一次趁大人不在家
292
00:28:17,125 --> 00:28:21,625
我和搬運哥哥在倉庫裡面
293
00:28:23,750 --> 00:28:26,792
忍不住親親抱抱起來
294
00:28:32,708 --> 00:28:34,208
然後呢
295
00:28:36,208 --> 00:28:37,417
然後呢
296
00:28:37,417 --> 00:28:41,750
然後 他的那個前面
297
00:28:41,750 --> 00:28:46,167
有點鹹鹹 腥腥的
298
00:28:47,292 --> 00:28:49,500
他的頭
299
00:28:49,500 --> 00:28:53,625
像繃到不能再硬的氣球
300
00:28:54,042 --> 00:28:56,000
好紅喔
301
00:29:00,625 --> 00:29:04,625
我跟他就在旋轉椅上面做
302
00:29:06,083 --> 00:29:11,208
一次次的在各種不同的椅子上做
303
00:29:11,208 --> 00:29:15,167
味道就都留在那些椅子上
304
00:29:18,875 --> 00:29:23,833
她說暑假的時候
305
00:29:23,833 --> 00:29:26,458
倉庫很熱
306
00:29:27,083 --> 00:29:32,417
流出來的汗水吹到窗口一點點的風
307
00:29:32,417 --> 00:29:34,625
涼涼的
308
00:29:36,333 --> 00:29:39,625
我在想如果有一天
309
00:29:40,250 --> 00:29:43,417
做愛後蒸發出來的味道
310
00:29:43,917 --> 00:29:47,292
會不會讓坐在椅子上面的人
311
00:29:47,292 --> 00:29:49,708
莫名其妙的發情呢
312
00:29:51,083 --> 00:29:53,750
第一次雖然有點痛
313
00:29:55,083 --> 00:29:58,958
可是他的龜頭慢慢的滑進來
314
00:29:58,958 --> 00:30:03,042
然後撐開
315
00:30:04,500 --> 00:30:08,750
撐開好像它本來就應該回到那個位置
316
00:30:09,292 --> 00:30:13,833
然後我的下面把它熱熱的包住
317
00:30:40,292 --> 00:30:42,458
那個來自火星的女孩
318
00:30:43,167 --> 00:30:46,750
看見了乾涸多年的游泳池
319
00:30:46,750 --> 00:30:49,208
一直在那裡等著
320
00:30:49,958 --> 00:30:53,125
這時候雨季來臨
321
00:30:53,125 --> 00:30:55,667
它才從睡夢中醒來
322
00:31:02,792 --> 00:31:05,667
你死人哪 打算繼續裝聾作啞是不是
323
00:31:05,667 --> 00:31:08,167
遇到事情悶不吭聲就是想激怒我嘛
324
00:31:08,167 --> 00:31:10,167
律師馬上就會通知你 等著…
325
00:31:21,750 --> 00:31:23,583
幹 白
326
00:31:24,167 --> 00:31:26,917
今天早上我又水漫金山寺了
327
00:31:30,500 --> 00:31:33,250
你每次聽別人的故事就潰堤
328
00:31:33,250 --> 00:31:37,208
你不是說單親霸不是菜嗎 還約
329
00:31:37,208 --> 00:31:38,917
飯店點數要過期了
330
00:31:38,917 --> 00:31:40,375
是PUA
331
00:31:40,792 --> 00:31:42,500
什麼PUA 我怎麼可能被PUA
332
00:31:42,500 --> 00:31:44,833
我破麻專業戶耶 還不了解
333
00:31:44,833 --> 00:31:46,917
那種ID人設是情傷浪子的
334
00:31:46,917 --> 00:31:49,208
百分百就是要激起聖母情結
335
00:31:49,208 --> 00:31:52,625
你吃了那男孩一整年的牛排 接下來他就要你...
336
00:31:52,625 --> 00:31:54,500
含他一整年的雞巴
337
00:31:54,500 --> 00:31:57,292
欸 我們群裡那個涼圓要上岸了
338
00:31:57,292 --> 00:31:59,375
我在想是什麼厲害的角色把她撈起來
339
00:31:59,375 --> 00:32:00,500
結果查了一下
340
00:32:01,042 --> 00:32:02,042
你看
341
00:32:04,958 --> 00:32:06,542
怎麼可能
342
00:32:06,542 --> 00:32:10,375
不是 涼圓不是外貌協會嗎 這男的是...
343
00:32:11,333 --> 00:32:12,833
天賦異稟嗎
344
00:32:13,833 --> 00:32:16,667
涼圓說一切都是緣份派他來的
345
00:32:17,167 --> 00:32:19,458
在她遇到這個男的之前連續幾天
346
00:32:19,458 --> 00:32:22,167
她一直做滿天都是金魚游來游去的夢
347
00:32:22,167 --> 00:32:24,375
她去大稻埕找了一個很準的夢婆
348
00:32:24,375 --> 00:32:26,792
那個人就問她說 夢裡面會有那種
349
00:32:26,792 --> 00:32:30,708
屁眼上面都是大便 拖著游來游去的那種金魚
350
00:32:30,708 --> 00:32:34,000
涼圓整個嚇爛 想說連這種細節她都知道
351
00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:36,917
然後夢婆就說 你的緣份到了
352
00:32:36,917 --> 00:32:42,042
印表機…你們那個誰啊 不要在那邊假會好不好
353
00:32:42,042 --> 00:32:44,375
調了印表機設定就要調回去啊
354
00:32:44,375 --> 00:32:45,458
又不是每個人都會用
355
00:32:45,458 --> 00:32:49,667
隊長 這個是要給 -給那個誰
356
00:32:49,875 --> 00:32:54,042
監視器 看一下監視器
357
00:32:54,042 --> 00:32:55,917
那再麻煩學姊了
358
00:32:57,208 --> 00:32:58,833
然後呢…
359
00:32:59,958 --> 00:33:01,792
本來涼圓一見面就想閃人
360
00:33:01,792 --> 00:33:05,250
結果下大雨啊 那個男的就說要送她回家
361
00:33:05,250 --> 00:33:07,875
哪知道雨大到根本連車都開不過去
362
00:33:07,875 --> 00:33:10,750
那男的就背她涉水過街回家了
363
00:33:12,083 --> 00:33:14,125
你梗鋪這麼長就跟我說這些
364
00:33:15,083 --> 00:33:16,750
沒想到一進門
365
00:33:16,750 --> 00:33:19,958
每天便秘的涼圓不知道為什麼突然屎意充滿
366
00:33:19,958 --> 00:33:21,958
藉口要洗澡就衝進廁所
367
00:33:21,958 --> 00:33:24,417
狂拉猛拉 大拉特拉
368
00:33:24,417 --> 00:33:26,208
我要生氣囉
369
00:33:26,208 --> 00:33:29,708
那天淹大水的結果是大樓的屎管整個大倒灌
370
00:33:29,708 --> 00:33:31,792
噴的整個廁所都是
371
00:33:31,792 --> 00:33:34,250
涼圓就一直尖叫 啊天哪 大便
372
00:33:34,250 --> 00:33:36,000
好了啦
373
00:33:36,000 --> 00:33:37,458
那個男的一聽到
374
00:33:37,458 --> 00:33:39,375
不顧一切踹開門救出涼圓
375
00:33:39,750 --> 00:33:41,333
Happy ending 來了
376
00:33:42,125 --> 00:33:45,833
那個男的把一切的屎尿都清得乾乾淨淨
377
00:33:45,833 --> 00:33:47,458
事後絕口不提
378
00:33:51,833 --> 00:33:55,583
就這樣涼圓決定 是他了
379
00:33:55,583 --> 00:33:57,042
全劇終
380
00:33:57,583 --> 00:34:00,833
你說 這不是純愛嗎
381
00:34:01,875 --> 00:34:05,417
白 我們去找那個夢婆好不好
382
00:34:07,708 --> 00:34:10,542
不要 我沒有夢
383
00:34:16,833 --> 00:34:18,125
查無此夢
384
00:34:19,583 --> 00:34:22,292
就是我這邊找不到你說的那個夢
385
00:34:22,292 --> 00:34:24,333
有可能它根本就不是夢
386
00:34:25,292 --> 00:34:28,000
來這邊的人都是因為真假不分
387
00:34:28,000 --> 00:34:30,917
執著在顛倒夢想裡
388
00:34:30,917 --> 00:34:35,292
"假作真時真亦假 無為有處有還無"
389
00:34:38,042 --> 00:34:41,000
意思就是你把假的東西當作是真的
390
00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:43,375
那真的東西就會變成假的
391
00:34:44,958 --> 00:34:46,167
啥洨
392
00:34:46,167 --> 00:34:50,583
耐心一點 我們可以把這個世界變成真的
393
00:34:50,583 --> 00:34:52,875
姊姊那你可以先告訴我夢的結局嗎
394
00:34:52,875 --> 00:34:55,125
人生哪有快轉這件事
395
00:34:55,125 --> 00:34:56,667
至於
396
00:35:11,292 --> 00:35:14,583
為什麼你的夢總是同一個
397
00:35:15,167 --> 00:35:18,708
一直重複…
398
00:35:22,125 --> 00:35:25,208
名字 -Bajingan
399
00:35:25,917 --> 00:35:27,417
安全詞
400
00:35:30,250 --> 00:35:31,417
掰掰
401
00:35:31,417 --> 00:35:32,833
再一次
402
00:35:37,667 --> 00:35:38,750
掰掰
403
00:37:44,375 --> 00:37:46,167
說你愛我
404
00:37:58,083 --> 00:37:59,708
說你愛我
405
00:38:01,000 --> 00:38:02,917
說啊
406
00:38:21,167 --> 00:38:22,292
說啊
407
00:38:27,208 --> 00:38:28,250
說你愛我
408
00:38:28,250 --> 00:38:29,542
不要啦
409
00:38:29,542 --> 00:38:31,583
我就不要說那個嘛
410
00:38:54,625 --> 00:38:56,208
說你是我的
411
00:38:57,333 --> 00:38:58,625
說你是我的
412
00:39:00,375 --> 00:39:01,875
說你愛我
413
00:39:07,125 --> 00:39:08,333
你還好嗎
414
00:39:13,417 --> 00:39:14,375
安全詞
415
00:39:15,292 --> 00:39:16,292
安全詞
416
00:40:25,375 --> 00:40:27,208
你可以先走沒關係
417
00:41:04,750 --> 00:41:06,708
還有十五分鐘
418
00:41:28,083 --> 00:41:30,167
慢慢就不痛了
419
00:41:37,958 --> 00:41:41,333
可是有些事情會一直在
420
00:41:42,250 --> 00:41:43,875
不會消失
421
00:42:05,750 --> 00:42:09,250
你溫柔的慈悲
422
00:42:09,250 --> 00:42:13,250
讓我不知道如何後悔
423
00:42:13,250 --> 00:42:17,375
再也不可能有任何改變
424
00:42:17,375 --> 00:42:20,792
再也癒合不了…
425
00:42:31,958 --> 00:42:35,167
陳為龍 反正你就是個沒肩膀的魯蛇
426
00:42:35,167 --> 00:42:37,208
東西寄過來 運費我出
427
00:42:37,208 --> 00:42:39,000
不要再盧洨了
428
00:42:50,375 --> 00:42:51,542
Neko
429
00:42:52,375 --> 00:42:54,458
你再不回來
430
00:42:54,458 --> 00:42:56,917
我把這些公仔全部都丟掉
431
00:43:02,875 --> 00:43:05,167
你老母不要你了
432
00:43:39,667 --> 00:43:42,625
幹 吃我錢
433
00:43:42,625 --> 00:43:46,917
煩耶操你媽 吃我們20塊 還我錢啦
434
00:43:56,583 --> 00:44:00,042
喂 張小姐 你機台又吃我們錢啦
435
00:44:00,042 --> 00:44:03,500
吃我20塊 快點過來 快點
436
00:44:04,500 --> 00:44:06,833
這邊有啦 -這邊這邊 過來 快點
437
00:44:06,833 --> 00:44:08,583
可以把它搖下來
438
00:44:08,583 --> 00:44:11,125
媽的 滾出來
439
00:44:14,125 --> 00:44:15,542
邊一部
440
00:44:17,000 --> 00:44:18,375
邊一部
441
00:44:21,500 --> 00:44:22,875
哪一台
442
00:45:03,792 --> 00:45:05,417
我兒子下週回來
443
00:45:05,417 --> 00:45:07,750
我想帶他去環島走一走
444
00:45:12,125 --> 00:45:13,417
這麼巧
445
00:45:14,083 --> 00:45:16,250
Lorraine剛好也要回來
446
00:45:16,250 --> 00:45:18,417
要不要我安排一下行程
447
00:45:21,333 --> 00:45:23,875
我們現在這樣不是很舒服嗎
448
00:45:38,833 --> 00:45:41,375
我最近開始又動筆寫小說了
449
00:45:43,875 --> 00:45:46,042
你又再度心動囉
450
00:45:52,750 --> 00:45:55,125
這次是哪個繆思
451
00:45:56,958 --> 00:45:59,625
是個像火星人一樣的女生
452
00:46:01,542 --> 00:46:03,417
跟其他人不太一樣
453
00:46:11,125 --> 00:46:13,125
那你還來找我
454
00:46:14,583 --> 00:46:17,375
你是我避免迷航的指南針啊
455
00:46:22,542 --> 00:46:25,125
你有給她專屬旋律嗎
456
00:46:28,750 --> 00:46:31,000
趕快去煮你的馬賽魚湯啊
457
00:46:43,833 --> 00:46:45,458
也不是這個
458
00:46:57,542 --> 00:46:59,375
好像是欸
459
00:47:03,542 --> 00:47:05,042
來吧
460
00:47:22,375 --> 00:47:24,292
不好意思 你有沒有怎麼樣
461
00:47:24,292 --> 00:47:26,958
衝啥洨啊 -你有沒有受傷
462
00:47:41,042 --> 00:47:44,500
欸 那個 剛剛拍的可以發限動嗎
463
00:47:44,500 --> 00:47:48,500
喔 欸 你剛最後彈的那首是什麼啊
464
00:47:48,500 --> 00:47:50,875
你說讓你很濕的那一首喔
465
00:48:12,000 --> 00:48:14,958
來我們腳放下去試一下水溫
466
00:48:16,958 --> 00:48:20,333
水溫可以嗎 那先泡一下 謝謝
467
00:48:22,417 --> 00:48:24,750
我的媽那個屄的把你屄的他媽操爛
468
00:48:24,750 --> 00:48:26,333
我操你媽的
469
00:48:26,333 --> 00:48:28,167
今天晚上他媽給我舔屄喔
470
00:48:28,167 --> 00:48:32,000
操你媽 聽到沒 啊 給我舔屄
471
00:48:33,583 --> 00:48:37,583
你看 我的是不是很硬啊
472
00:48:37,583 --> 00:48:39,542
這樣有很猛嗎
473
00:48:41,500 --> 00:48:42,750
啥款
474
00:48:42,750 --> 00:48:46,542
你猜 什麼是巴西里佐海鹽嫩雞
475
00:48:55,000 --> 00:48:56,625
等一下帶過去給你
476
00:49:27,250 --> 00:49:28,625
還在忙嗎
477
00:49:30,333 --> 00:49:33,625
我是說多多鹹水雞啦
478
00:49:33,625 --> 00:49:35,625
好想吃多多
479
00:50:03,000 --> 00:50:06,667
(把女生的床弄垮了 哭哭)
480
00:50:17,417 --> 00:50:19,583
小姐可不可以先讓我填單啊
481
00:50:21,542 --> 00:50:24,500
這什麼意思 沒了
482
00:50:24,500 --> 00:50:25,958
全部都沒了嗎 -沒有囉
483
00:50:25,958 --> 00:50:27,833
可是他剛才在點啊 -後面的不用排了沒有了
484
00:50:27,833 --> 00:50:30,208
我剛剛等了一個多小時 -沒有了 都沒有了
485
00:50:30,208 --> 00:50:32,375
那你應該提前跟我們講 不然我剛才排…
486
00:50:32,375 --> 00:50:35,167
沒有了 就已經賣完了
487
00:50:39,708 --> 00:50:42,708
哥哥 沒了就沒囉
488
00:50:43,833 --> 00:50:46,792
靠 你也讓我等太久了吧 你也真是
489
00:50:47,417 --> 00:50:48,708
幹嘛
490
00:50:50,125 --> 00:50:52,583
等一下 冷靜冷靜
491
00:50:52,583 --> 00:50:54,667
違反道上規矩不行喔
492
00:50:55,542 --> 00:50:59,792
有什麼關係 規矩就是拿來打破才會爽 走啦
493
00:50:59,792 --> 00:51:02,583
哪有人在外面牽手的啦
494
00:51:03,083 --> 00:51:07,500
肚子很餓耶 我為了你排了一個多小時 快點
495
00:51:18,542 --> 00:51:21,000
欸不要忙了啦 先來吃啦
496
00:51:25,208 --> 00:51:27,750
好吃嗎 -不太行
497
00:51:28,500 --> 00:51:32,333
是嗎 是因為你沒有裝在盤子裡啦
498
00:51:33,542 --> 00:51:36,375
這樣比較有吃飯的樣子啊 有沒有
499
00:51:37,833 --> 00:51:39,583
這就是好吃的樣子
500
00:51:40,625 --> 00:51:43,833
要確定耶 -試試看
501
00:51:47,042 --> 00:51:48,458
怎麼樣 說實話
502
00:51:50,250 --> 00:51:52,833
嗯 差多多一點
503
00:51:52,833 --> 00:51:54,875
差多多可多了欸
504
00:51:55,500 --> 00:51:57,208
多多就跟我一樣是極品
505
00:51:57,208 --> 00:51:59,542
可遇不可求 想吃還吃不到
506
00:51:59,542 --> 00:52:01,833
啊不就剛好我撿到你
507
00:52:03,708 --> 00:52:05,875
我也是順路來看我的蘭花女兒啊
508
00:52:05,875 --> 00:52:08,333
你看你這個後母怎麼照顧的
509
00:52:08,333 --> 00:52:09,667
快要爛根了啦
510
00:52:09,667 --> 00:52:13,458
哪有啊 你每次打電話來我都有照著你講的澆水
511
00:52:15,500 --> 00:52:18,292
你就比較不會照顧自己啊
512
00:52:18,292 --> 00:52:20,583
你看你的床 睡到都垮了
513
00:52:21,333 --> 00:52:23,167
我之前那個專屬的藍色床包呢
514
00:52:23,167 --> 00:52:25,458
你真的很像我爸一直碎碎念
515
00:52:25,458 --> 00:52:27,417
你不要動拜託我自己來啦
516
00:52:28,708 --> 00:52:30,083
小心啦
517
00:52:32,542 --> 00:52:34,000
攤開啊
518
00:52:42,875 --> 00:52:45,250
兩個人一起換床單還是太超過了
519
00:52:45,250 --> 00:52:46,292
不要鬧啦
520
00:52:47,333 --> 00:52:48,292
幹嘛
521
00:52:48,500 --> 00:52:52,875
會讓你回想到曾經一起換床單心痛的回憶嗎
522
00:52:58,625 --> 00:53:02,125
幹 那個小屌男
523
00:53:02,125 --> 00:53:05,750
幹嘛 -這是我最喜歡的小說欸
524
00:53:07,917 --> 00:53:10,417
你也喜歡這本純愛小說喔
525
00:53:10,792 --> 00:53:12,750
"最初的心動"
526
00:53:13,792 --> 00:53:15,292
破掉
527
00:53:17,792 --> 00:53:20,917
這當年在網路上連載超級好看的
528
00:53:21,333 --> 00:53:24,125
真的好想知道他們的後續喔
529
00:53:24,875 --> 00:53:27,750
不知道為什麼那個二等文豪不寫了
530
00:53:31,792 --> 00:53:34,042
繼續寫會爛尾吧
531
00:53:37,375 --> 00:53:40,500
主角他們要是認識到最真實的彼此啊
532
00:53:40,500 --> 00:53:42,292
故事就結束了
533
00:53:42,292 --> 00:53:46,292
你說認識彼此 純愛就不純愛了
534
00:53:47,458 --> 00:53:50,042
我是說 你口中那個二等文豪啊
535
00:53:50,042 --> 00:53:51,167
有可能啊…
536
00:53:51,167 --> 00:53:53,833
他在現實生活當中只是一個…
537
00:53:53,833 --> 00:53:57,667
會隨便亂尬的...爛咖
538
00:54:04,167 --> 00:54:06,500
純愛還是太逼人了
539
00:54:08,292 --> 00:54:11,625
還是早點認清我自己是個破麻
540
00:54:18,000 --> 00:54:20,667
"人面不知何處去"
541
00:54:25,833 --> 00:54:28,958
幹 那什麼破臉啊 幹嘛
542
00:54:28,958 --> 00:54:31,375
以為自己真的是二等文豪喔
543
00:54:33,667 --> 00:54:34,917
我是啊
544
00:54:50,708 --> 00:54:52,667
是炮友要接也沒關係啊
545
00:54:52,667 --> 00:54:55,083
我今天那個來 先去洗澡
546
00:54:56,375 --> 00:54:58,292
你那個來我不介意喔
547
00:54:59,125 --> 00:55:00,833
想要闖紅燈喔
548
00:55:00,833 --> 00:55:04,333
萬一我真的是警察 小心我開單喔
549
00:55:36,125 --> 00:55:41,167
(Something came up. Fixed the bed
550
00:55:41,167 --> 00:55:44,958
是我自己不想回台灣的 你不用逼媽媽
551
00:55:44,958 --> 00:55:49,625
我不知道你在說什麼喔 而且我沒逼你媽啊
552
00:55:49,625 --> 00:55:53,875
你手機拿高一點讓我看看你 拿高一點
553
00:55:55,125 --> 00:55:57,042
你媽在你旁邊啊
554
00:55:59,083 --> 00:56:01,750
那你的意思是我可以不用回台灣囉
555
00:56:01,750 --> 00:56:04,083
那你幹嘛叫媽媽找律師
556
00:56:04,083 --> 00:56:07,250
那你跟爸爸說 你為什麼不想回來看到我
557
00:56:07,250 --> 00:56:09,083
我長大了 今年不想
558
00:56:09,083 --> 00:56:10,750
請尊重我的意願 掰
559
00:56:10,750 --> 00:56:13,000
Lorraine別掛 我再跟你說兩句
560
00:56:20,833 --> 00:56:25,250
泳池的身體那年剛補滿水
561
00:56:25,250 --> 00:56:28,292
等著夏日戀情綻放
562
00:56:29,458 --> 00:56:33,625
他以為是失溫的雞皮疙瘩
563
00:56:33,625 --> 00:56:38,042
靠近才知道是天鵝絨般的花瓣
564
00:56:39,625 --> 00:56:40,917
火辣
565
00:56:44,042 --> 00:56:46,208
我教你接吻
566
00:56:46,208 --> 00:56:48,667
想像那裡是她的嘴唇
567
00:57:17,500 --> 00:57:21,917
如果你是女生
568
00:57:21,917 --> 00:57:24,500
我一定會很喜歡你
569
00:57:34,542 --> 00:57:38,167
這個好像還不錯喔 -還可以還行
570
00:57:38,417 --> 00:57:41,042
但跟我們家寶貝的氣質還差一點
571
00:57:41,042 --> 00:57:43,417
還在找真愛啊
572
00:57:44,167 --> 00:57:46,875
沒啊 那你呢
573
00:57:49,917 --> 00:57:52,208
沒啊 這些純炮友而已
574
00:57:56,083 --> 00:58:00,542
就算有真愛 你我都逃不出這一局
575
00:58:01,542 --> 00:58:05,167
你看我們 金童玉女
576
00:58:06,375 --> 00:58:08,875
我賭你先輸
577
00:58:11,458 --> 00:58:13,500
這是誰啊
578
00:58:14,667 --> 00:58:19,250
你外婆呀 外婆
579
00:58:23,625 --> 00:58:26,083
陳為龍
580
00:58:26,083 --> 00:58:29,625
我是望你成龍 怎知變成蟲
581
00:58:29,625 --> 00:58:32,083
整天玩手機
582
00:58:33,375 --> 00:58:34,917
婆婆
583
00:58:37,375 --> 00:58:41,583
好了好了不要拍了 快點啦快點
584
00:58:43,167 --> 00:58:49,375
小時候你媽當你叉燒不如 要把你丟了
585
00:58:49,375 --> 00:58:53,042
還好是我把你帶回來 養這麼大
586
00:58:53,042 --> 00:58:55,667
結果還是叉燒不如
587
00:59:07,708 --> 00:59:11,500
陳為龍 婦產科診所我找好了
588
00:59:11,500 --> 00:59:16,167
下禮拜五 四點半 手術要有人簽字陪同
589
00:59:20,125 --> 00:59:24,583
還有後天實戰秀是已經答應的工作 一定得去
590
00:59:24,583 --> 00:59:28,417
你要是敢不來的話 我馬上把夾娃娃機的押金沒收
591
00:59:28,417 --> 00:59:32,000
最後提醒你 我不是你的狗了
592
00:59:42,333 --> 00:59:44,125
嘿 最近好嗎
593
00:59:46,167 --> 00:59:49,708
Jason 等下跟你喝
594
00:59:51,250 --> 00:59:52,250
嗨 Matt
595
00:59:52,250 --> 00:59:55,500
嗨 好久不見
596
00:59:58,250 --> 01:00:00,958
氣色不錯啊 -謝了
597
01:00:06,625 --> 01:00:10,208
我今晚不回家 你開心玩啊
598
01:00:11,208 --> 01:00:12,958
走吧 玩到爽啊
599
01:00:13,875 --> 01:00:15,458
嗨 Matt
600
01:00:15,458 --> 01:00:18,000
恭喜 -謝啦
601
01:00:31,125 --> 01:00:32,500
Neko
602
01:00:34,208 --> 01:00:38,167
對不起 之前的事是我的錯
603
01:00:41,000 --> 01:00:43,417
我們今天不要綁 好不好
604
01:00:44,542 --> 01:00:46,708
下一組Neko
605
01:00:50,083 --> 01:00:53,333
上工了 把你的苦瓜臉遮起來
606
01:01:02,542 --> 01:01:13,542
現在讓我們來歡迎 Neko和外賣屌
607
01:01:37,042 --> 01:01:40,125
寶寶的事我會負責 回來吧
608
01:01:46,833 --> 01:01:48,792
算我求你了
609
01:01:54,208 --> 01:01:58,583
難道我們就一點點愛都沒有嗎 一點點愛
610
01:01:59,250 --> 01:02:01,792
打炮什麼時候是為了生寶寶啊
611
01:02:02,042 --> 01:02:05,375
幹 他媽我有說小孩是你的嗎
612
01:02:05,375 --> 01:02:07,375
快點硬起來啦
613
01:02:07,375 --> 01:02:13,000
你就這麼想讓人看嗎 好啊 看啊
614
01:02:18,792 --> 01:02:22,875
對 我就是隻外賣屌你想換就換
615
01:02:22,875 --> 01:02:25,250
你在幹嘛 -我不玩了行不行
616
01:02:25,250 --> 01:02:27,750
幹 瘋女人
617
01:02:34,958 --> 01:02:37,917
欸新郎 -過來過來
618
01:02:37,917 --> 01:02:40,542
先生不好意思 總監她還在補妝
619
01:02:40,542 --> 01:02:41,958
是不是再稍等一下
620
01:02:41,958 --> 01:02:43,458
是嗎
621
01:02:46,750 --> 01:02:50,792
對不起 你這禮拜有空嗎 我們老地方見
622
01:02:52,542 --> 01:02:54,792
來 家屬一起複誦
623
01:02:54,792 --> 01:02:57,208
阿嬤過門廳喔…
624
01:02:57,208 --> 01:02:58,917
南無阿彌陀佛
625
01:02:59,792 --> 01:03:04,125
這什麼鬼 你們是忍者喔
626
01:03:04,667 --> 01:03:09,083
阿嬤入新厝喔…
627
01:03:09,083 --> 01:03:13,333
天堂歡迎你...還是地獄
628
01:03:20,333 --> 01:03:23,708
好看 -拉一下裙擺 很好
629
01:03:23,708 --> 01:03:29,708
欸 不要忘了笑喔 仙女下凡了
630
01:03:30,875 --> 01:03:34,417
很好ok 裙擺再動一下 -記得笑
631
01:03:36,292 --> 01:03:40,250
記得笑
632
01:03:48,750 --> 01:03:53,125
蔻里安佐海味米濃湯就是海鮮粥加香菜啊
633
01:03:54,833 --> 01:03:57,250
蔻里安就是香菜
634
01:03:57,250 --> 01:04:00,375
這麼假掰你也猜得到
635
01:04:00,375 --> 01:04:01,958
算你厲害
636
01:04:01,958 --> 01:04:05,125
報告長官 這位女士要報性侵案
637
01:04:06,792 --> 01:04:08,875
當事人是哪一位
638
01:04:11,625 --> 01:04:13,042
這邊請
639
01:04:16,208 --> 01:04:19,083
我女兒一定是被強迫的 -沒有
640
01:04:19,083 --> 01:04:21,167
你說什麼沒有
641
01:04:24,917 --> 01:04:28,125
好…
642
01:04:29,167 --> 01:04:31,583
他們的確有付我外拍費
643
01:04:31,583 --> 01:04:34,708
怎麼樣 這樣有犯法嗎
644
01:04:34,708 --> 01:04:40,458
代號 "19.5" "孿生兄弟丼" "單親霸"
645
01:04:40,458 --> 01:04:42,250
總共四個對嗎
646
01:04:43,250 --> 01:04:47,958
那你再猜 粥為什麼放了兩天都不會涼
647
01:04:47,958 --> 01:04:51,667
因為週休二日
648
01:04:53,292 --> 01:04:55,500
也太心有靈犀了吧
649
01:04:55,500 --> 01:05:00,375
有一家超好吃的海產粥 我請你
650
01:05:26,750 --> 01:05:28,833
你到底在哪裡
651
01:05:31,708 --> 01:05:34,708
狗奴敢耍主人喔 你完蛋了
652
01:06:18,875 --> 01:06:22,542
沒關係 看你要去哪
653
01:06:41,292 --> 01:06:42,667
逆向了
654
01:06:52,792 --> 01:06:57,625
小朋友 小小樹苗飛啊飛
655
01:06:57,625 --> 01:07:00,625
小小樹苗躲起來
656
01:07:56,125 --> 01:07:59,250
會不會開車啊 單行道耶
657
01:08:02,500 --> 01:08:05,875
踩剎車 方向盤左打
658
01:08:11,250 --> 01:08:12,750
不要慌
659
01:08:20,708 --> 01:08:22,250
油門輕踩
660
01:08:41,708 --> 01:08:44,000
原來你真的是單親爸喔
661
01:08:44,000 --> 01:08:47,833
我還以為你是味素工廠 講什麼都加料
662
01:08:49,167 --> 01:08:52,000
我是一個劈過腿說過謊的人啊
663
01:08:52,000 --> 01:08:54,042
但我後來學會了說真話
664
01:08:54,042 --> 01:08:56,917
就一切簡單了 就不會再痛苦了
665
01:09:02,375 --> 01:09:05,375
豬籠草喔 酷喔
666
01:09:05,708 --> 01:09:09,500
欸 沒禮貌 人家是仙履蘭 是蘭花
667
01:09:09,500 --> 01:09:13,292
幹嘛 又生氣 -跟她說對不起
668
01:09:15,375 --> 01:09:16,542
我的花
669
01:09:18,708 --> 01:09:20,458
你把她救活囉
670
01:09:20,458 --> 01:09:22,875
我就跟你說不能澆太多水
671
01:09:22,875 --> 01:09:25,042
我不澆水她就活啦
672
01:09:28,500 --> 01:09:32,917
咦 你叫什麼名字
673
01:09:34,292 --> 01:09:35,583
布丁
674
01:09:35,583 --> 01:09:38,750
布丁 布丁你好
675
01:09:39,917 --> 01:09:41,917
畫面有點感人
676
01:09:41,917 --> 01:09:43,667
牠大概有一百年不讓我抱了
677
01:09:43,667 --> 01:09:45,875
我不知道喔 我沒有勾引牠
678
01:09:49,333 --> 01:09:52,375
欸 不嘴砲
679
01:09:52,375 --> 01:09:54,208
我給你一次機會
680
01:09:55,875 --> 01:09:58,333
問我一個問題 我誠實回答
681
01:09:58,333 --> 01:10:00,458
保證不摻味素
682
01:10:00,917 --> 01:10:04,292
一個 神燈不都是三個願望
683
01:10:06,500 --> 01:10:08,958
貪心 好啊 三個就三個
684
01:10:08,958 --> 01:10:12,042
那你想拿什麼秘密來換
685
01:10:19,458 --> 01:10:22,292
跟你介紹一下 這個是…
686
01:10:22,292 --> 01:10:23,625
我知道
687
01:10:24,917 --> 01:10:26,417
你怎麼知道
688
01:10:45,333 --> 01:10:48,417
現在餐桌禮儀不是要先拍照嗎
689
01:10:49,667 --> 01:10:52,667
可是我吃到傳說中的馬賽魚湯
690
01:10:55,375 --> 01:10:58,375
你的不一樣
691
01:10:58,375 --> 01:11:00,042
我加了粥
692
01:11:08,792 --> 01:11:10,792
我去洗香香
693
01:11:13,167 --> 01:11:17,542
我想跟你一起洗 -不要 我還要大便
694
01:11:17,542 --> 01:11:19,375
好啦 我們一起洗澡啦
695
01:11:19,375 --> 01:11:22,417
不要 不行 -我想跟你一起洗
696
01:11:26,542 --> 01:11:27,792
喔
697
01:11:29,208 --> 01:11:32,333
你有我一支還不夠喔 要那麼多支喔
698
01:11:33,375 --> 01:11:34,333
對呀
699
01:11:45,500 --> 01:11:48,375
小綠老師 手機跳提醒耶
700
01:11:50,125 --> 01:11:52,500
明天早上八點要幫學生補考
701
01:11:53,542 --> 01:11:55,958
幹 忘記 謝謝
702
01:12:01,833 --> 01:12:03,042
白
703
01:12:04,125 --> 01:12:06,250
原來他說的都是真的
704
01:12:07,250 --> 01:12:10,292
而且我吃到傳說中的馬賽魚湯了
705
01:12:13,000 --> 01:12:16,542
他剛還對我生氣 超好笑
706
01:12:32,792 --> 01:12:37,708
如果沒想去哪的話 就跟我走吧
707
01:12:49,083 --> 01:12:52,417
如果是比較快樂的做愛
708
01:12:52,417 --> 01:12:57,000
生出來的小孩 應該會比較幸福吧
709
01:12:59,583 --> 01:13:05,333
像我就是那種年終週年慶來一炮
710
01:13:05,333 --> 01:13:07,208
跟贈品一樣
711
01:13:07,958 --> 01:13:14,375
你才不是 你很特別
712
01:13:14,375 --> 01:13:16,625
好像火星人一樣
713
01:13:17,875 --> 01:13:21,792
反而都在問我別的女生不會問的事
714
01:13:24,208 --> 01:13:26,667
其實我只是想知道
715
01:13:26,667 --> 01:13:29,167
到南天門是什麼感覺
716
01:13:31,000 --> 01:13:34,125
我好想知道那些人說
717
01:13:34,125 --> 01:13:37,458
幹死我吧 幹死我
718
01:13:38,792 --> 01:13:41,125
是不是死了以後
719
01:13:41,125 --> 01:13:47,458
隔天醒來就可以變成一個新的好人了
720
01:14:02,750 --> 01:14:04,792
別人都已經走了
721
01:14:06,417 --> 01:14:08,625
我們還在原地想
722
01:14:14,708 --> 01:14:16,875
他為什麼這麼狠
723
01:14:18,417 --> 01:14:21,542
可是想想 當初自己也狠過啊
724
01:14:24,042 --> 01:14:24,875
因為...
725
01:14:32,750 --> 01:14:35,042
我不想再騙我自己了
726
01:15:42,542 --> 01:15:43,750
姓名
727
01:15:47,625 --> 01:15:49,583
說你愛我
728
01:15:55,042 --> 01:15:56,125
住手
729
01:16:51,333 --> 01:16:53,292
說你愛我
730
01:17:25,667 --> 01:17:26,667
別扯
731
01:17:26,667 --> 01:17:27,750
不行
732
01:17:27,750 --> 01:17:28,958
別扯啊
733
01:17:31,208 --> 01:17:32,125
住手
734
01:18:18,500 --> 01:18:20,458
我再也受不了了
735
01:18:32,958 --> 01:18:34,958
昨天
736
01:18:34,958 --> 01:18:37,292
今天 到永遠
737
01:18:52,958 --> 01:18:55,167
你愛我 對吧
738
01:18:58,667 --> 01:19:00,500
說你愛我
739
01:19:06,042 --> 01:19:07,333
爽不爽
740
01:19:07,708 --> 01:19:08,708
不要
741
01:19:12,000 --> 01:19:12,875
說啊
742
01:19:12,875 --> 01:19:13,917
不要
743
01:19:14,333 --> 01:19:16,125
爽要叫啊
744
01:19:16,667 --> 01:19:17,750
說啊
745
01:19:18,583 --> 01:19:19,542
說啊
746
01:19:20,292 --> 01:19:21,083
說啊
747
01:19:22,542 --> 01:19:23,458
停下來
748
01:19:29,917 --> 01:19:31,375
說你愛我
749
01:20:05,250 --> 01:20:10,292
現在是中華民國112年5月11日 上午10點30分
750
01:20:10,292 --> 01:20:12,125
偵訊筆錄開始
751
01:20:13,417 --> 01:20:15,792
姓名 出生年月日
752
01:20:17,625 --> 01:20:21,167
陳健元 民國71年7月19
753
01:20:22,250 --> 01:20:27,625
陳健元 你涉及用金錢誘迫未成年少女發生性行為
754
01:20:27,625 --> 01:20:28,833
我們有證據證明
755
01:20:28,833 --> 01:20:32,417
你跟ID代號 "南瓜女孩" 進行性交易
756
01:20:34,208 --> 01:20:38,042
我是有跟她見面 但我們只有聊天
757
01:20:38,042 --> 01:20:42,167
可是所有的嫌疑人跟當事人都指控你耶
758
01:20:42,167 --> 01:20:44,250
說你有參與其中
759
01:20:45,208 --> 01:20:48,667
我當事人只有到車站接送該女並沒有參與
760
01:20:48,667 --> 01:20:50,958
請警方協助調閱旅館監視器
761
01:20:50,958 --> 01:20:53,125
就可以證明我當事人沒有參與
762
01:20:53,125 --> 01:20:56,250
所有相關地點的監視器我們都有拍到你
763
01:20:57,292 --> 01:20:59,333
我沒有進去那家旅館
764
01:20:59,333 --> 01:21:01,333
我剛說了 我就只有...
765
01:21:02,167 --> 01:21:03,792
只有怎麼樣
766
01:21:04,375 --> 01:21:07,667
我就只有...
767
01:21:07,667 --> 01:21:09,375
聽她說故事
768
01:21:26,125 --> 01:21:29,917
學姐 你還在修那個未成年性侵案的旅館硬碟喔
769
01:21:33,000 --> 01:21:34,917
這我之前修過了
770
01:21:35,792 --> 01:21:37,042
沒關係
771
01:21:40,125 --> 01:21:42,000
那學姐不好意思 我先走囉
772
01:21:51,208 --> 01:21:54,500
(檔案恢復 6/100)
773
01:22:07,500 --> 01:22:09,375
學姐 我先走囉
774
01:22:12,917 --> 01:22:14,792
(檔案修復失敗)
775
01:22:20,917 --> 01:22:26,792
哈囉 對不起 這麼晚吵醒大家起來上工洗地
776
01:22:26,792 --> 01:22:29,083
那個純愛小王子性愛影片外流的事
777
01:22:29,083 --> 01:22:32,458
誰去查一下 他女朋友什麼底
778
01:22:34,083 --> 01:22:35,500
我找到一個讚的耶
779
01:22:35,500 --> 01:22:37,667
他女朋友據說高中還沒有畢業
780
01:22:37,667 --> 01:22:39,542
就在林森北做撈妹耶
781
01:22:40,417 --> 01:22:41,792
真假
782
01:22:42,333 --> 01:22:44,958
如果是真的就不要說謊
783
01:22:46,292 --> 01:22:48,958
沒有比誠實更重要的事情
784
01:22:50,792 --> 01:22:53,417
是男人就擔下來吧
785
01:22:57,500 --> 01:22:59,208
"在天編"
786
01:22:59,208 --> 01:23:03,292
我想 你直接在論壇上寫篇抒情文好了
787
01:23:03,292 --> 01:23:10,208
你就寫你…
788
01:23:10,208 --> 01:23:11,542
夢見...
789
01:23:14,792 --> 01:23:18,667
當王子在歡場遇到那個女孩的開始
790
01:23:18,667 --> 01:23:21,583
其實就發現他原來是個人魚
791
01:23:23,292 --> 01:23:25,208
但王子不在意啊
792
01:23:27,583 --> 01:23:28,833
真的嗎
793
01:23:32,417 --> 01:23:36,750
愛情故事裡都需要純愛的王子 對吧
794
01:24:55,625 --> 01:24:57,833
硬碟救回來了
795
01:24:57,833 --> 01:25:00,417
其實我不應該跟你洩漏案情
796
01:25:00,417 --> 01:25:03,375
但你的律師晚點就會通知你沒事了
797
01:25:06,833 --> 01:25:08,208
太好啦
798
01:25:09,083 --> 01:25:10,500
謝謝你
799
01:25:12,500 --> 01:25:15,208
我現在好想衝過去抱抱你喔
800
01:25:18,750 --> 01:25:20,167
其實我也好高興喔
801
01:25:20,167 --> 01:25:22,250
原來你就是二等文豪
802
01:25:23,750 --> 01:25:29,500
糟糕 現在我的底細被你摸得一清二楚囉
803
01:25:31,542 --> 01:25:36,958
希望認識彼此不是關係破滅的開始
804
01:25:42,667 --> 01:25:45,250
我想再吃一次魚湯
805
01:25:45,708 --> 01:25:47,333
當然沒問題啊
806
01:25:49,000 --> 01:25:50,792
我找一間好餐廳
807
01:25:52,542 --> 01:25:55,083
去你的秘密花園就行啦
808
01:26:03,208 --> 01:26:04,458
也可以
809
01:26:06,750 --> 01:26:09,750
關於你的事情 我絕對不會告訴別人的
810
01:26:11,583 --> 01:26:13,375
我的什麼事
811
01:26:15,292 --> 01:26:19,208
比如說其實你是個警察
812
01:26:19,208 --> 01:26:22,792
然後 又像是一個火星來的人
813
01:26:28,000 --> 01:26:29,833
我是真的不在意
814
01:26:32,250 --> 01:26:35,417
但是我希望你親口告訴我
815
01:26:41,625 --> 01:26:44,167
"我絕對不會告訴別人的"
816
01:26:46,542 --> 01:26:48,625
"我是真的不在意"
817
01:26:59,125 --> 01:27:01,042
好熟悉喔
818
01:27:03,875 --> 01:27:06,083
好像什麼的前奏一樣
819
01:27:17,042 --> 01:27:20,833
我是真心的
820
01:27:20,833 --> 01:27:22,542
完全不在意
821
01:27:31,208 --> 01:27:33,500
連幹話都說不出來囉
822
01:27:40,667 --> 01:27:42,667
總之我現在是真的
823
01:27:45,375 --> 01:27:47,625
我一直都是真的女人
824
01:27:54,542 --> 01:27:56,333
我的神燈
825
01:27:59,708 --> 01:28:03,083
下禮拜我生日 有趴踢喔
826
01:28:04,208 --> 01:28:06,125
我還有願望還沒許
827
01:28:07,500 --> 01:28:09,125
通告再發給你
828
01:28:26,625 --> 01:28:29,292
我在老地方等你
829
01:28:29,292 --> 01:28:31,125
我給你兩倍的錢 三倍的錢
830
01:28:31,125 --> 01:28:34,250
拜託你來 拜託
831
01:28:48,583 --> 01:28:55,000
Neko 寶寶的事我們一起來想辦法好不好
832
01:28:57,583 --> 01:29:02,167
一起 你先想好什麼叫做在一起吧
833
01:29:28,583 --> 01:29:31,000
你在跟我開玩笑嗎 -
那我剛剛打給你怎麼不接
834
01:29:31,000 --> 01:29:32,458
你現在給我立刻去機場接Lorraine
835
01:29:32,458 --> 01:29:35,375
你有沒有搞錯 Lorraine她才幾歲
836
01:29:35,375 --> 01:29:36,917
你怎麼會讓她一個人搭飛機回來啊
837
01:29:36,917 --> 01:29:39,833
她就是瞞著我買的 你現在立刻馬上去機…
838
01:29:46,083 --> 01:29:50,208
嘿Lorraine 你到了嗎 你先不要亂跑
839
01:29:50,208 --> 01:29:53,250
你跟爸爸說你在哪裡 我過去接你
840
01:29:53,667 --> 01:29:57,083
謝謝 我自己會搭車回家 我有鑰匙
841
01:29:58,125 --> 01:30:01,917
好啊…還是你...你這幾天
842
01:30:01,917 --> 01:30:05,000
喔 這幾天有沒有想要去哪裡玩
843
01:30:05,000 --> 01:30:06,250
爸爸陪你出去玩好不好
844
01:30:06,250 --> 01:30:08,792
協議裡面只有說我得回台灣吧
845
01:30:08,792 --> 01:30:10,875
沒有說我要陪你度假
846
01:30:10,875 --> 01:30:14,875
我回來了就不要再逼媽媽了 把錢給她
847
01:30:16,208 --> 01:30:19,042
Lorraine 你注意一下你的態度
848
01:30:19,042 --> 01:30:20,333
你可以表達你的情緒
849
01:30:20,333 --> 01:30:22,333
但不表示你可以這樣跟我說話
850
01:30:22,333 --> 01:30:25,750
麻煩檢查一下你這句話的邏輯好嗎
851
01:30:27,333 --> 01:30:29,042
你知道爸爸很愛你
852
01:30:29,042 --> 01:30:31,167
你把那句愛你對你手機裡那些女生說
853
01:30:31,167 --> 01:30:33,042
看她們誰會信
854
01:30:52,667 --> 01:30:54,625
希望世界和平
855
01:30:55,125 --> 01:30:57,792
希望我今天可以
856
01:30:57,792 --> 01:30:59,750
一步登天
857
01:31:03,958 --> 01:31:05,417
南天門的天啊
858
01:31:09,042 --> 01:31:10,750
我要你
859
01:31:10,750 --> 01:31:12,417
幹他
860
01:31:23,542 --> 01:31:25,708
警察姐姐的話要聽喔
861
01:31:50,125 --> 01:31:53,500
如果這一切都搞得像輸贏
862
01:31:53,500 --> 01:31:55,708
這樣好可惜喔
863
01:35:21,250 --> 01:35:22,875
告訴我
864
01:35:22,875 --> 01:35:27,792
你在我身上彈的是什麼歌
865
01:35:29,500 --> 01:35:31,333
我不要告訴你
866
01:35:32,083 --> 01:35:35,500
告訴你故事就結束了
867
01:36:02,208 --> 01:36:03,875
幹死我
868
01:36:04,667 --> 01:36:06,333
幹死我吧
869
01:36:07,667 --> 01:36:12,083
我也想變成一個好人 我也想
870
01:38:11,208 --> 01:38:14,917
心 跳漏了一拍
871
01:38:16,917 --> 01:38:20,083
原來那就是心動的最初
872
01:38:20,708 --> 01:38:22,583
純愛的開始
873
01:38:32,208 --> 01:38:36,708
火星人在離開地球的漫長寒冷旅程中
874
01:38:37,583 --> 01:38:41,667
回憶著電光火石的瞬間取暖
875
01:38:42,583 --> 01:38:45,000
後來想起
876
01:38:45,000 --> 01:38:50,167
居然還有一點 火辣
877
01:39:12,333 --> 01:39:13,708
上岸啦
878
01:39:19,125 --> 01:39:21,083
什麼時候再見面
59615
