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Previously on the L Word
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You gave up your autonomy in a relationship
that the law doesn't recognize.
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And your ex controls everything
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You send her to see
the fucking Joyce Wischnia
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I just suggested she see a layer.
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if you sign a six months lease...
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I would sign a six months lease
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I don't care if I loose my money as long
it is mean Tina's coming home.
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Do you notice anything about her ?
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Yeah, she looks a little bit like Bette.
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So... you're looking for a roomate ?
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- We should talk. Why not, right ?
- Ok.
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Yeah, those relationships
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- You can really fuck you up ?
- Yeah.
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- You don't want be in a relation ship ?
- No, I don't.
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Well arrogant is fine. Hubristic,
overly precious bad puns are to be avoided
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Especially if someone wants
to be accepted into my class.
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Well, you know that we've set a date.
We'll really like your blessing.
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- I have to go the bathroom
- You have to get out, that's against the rules.
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No I have to go to the bathroom, Al !
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Are you three? Can't you hold it for a minute?
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- - Are you guys getting it on yet, or what?
- No !
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I have a cashier's check for $50,000,
I'm coming in as your partner.
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It's a business arrangement Kit
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- Bur Yvan, I...
- That's all it's gotta be.
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Alice, you're a bad, bad girl.
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- What ? Why?!
- Don't lie.
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Tonya knows all...
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And she's mad...
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Do you know how to say you're sorry ?
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That's right. If you're gonna play,
don't play without the Ton-Ton.
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What about Dana ?
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Someone's hungry...
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Starving!
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Why don't you tell me what you have in mind?
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Okay.
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My client and I have every intention of
making this as painless as possible.
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We are offering to cover all living expenses
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for Miss Kennard including her own apartment,
and an initial $10,000 dollar stipend
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stipend to be disbursed any way Miss Kennard sees fit.
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Aw, c'mon, Bert.
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That's sweet, but short-term.
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We're here to talk final separation.
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- The last hurrah.
- What ?
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This wasn't a marriage.
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It wasn't? Well, let's see, we've got...
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A house, cars, vacations, love, commitment,
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a promise to be true? A baby that was lost.
A trust that was broken.
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I don't know about you, but that sounds like a marriage to me.
Does that sound like a marriage to you?
50
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It was.
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It's a, it's a marriage that I don't wanna have end.
52
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Yeah, well, it's a little late for that.
53
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So let's get back to the business at hand:
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the equitable division of funds.
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I think we've got it... we...
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- How many times do I have to say I'm sorry?
- Here we go.
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I am. Please don't do this to us.
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This is not who we are.
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We can fix this, ok we can fix this, Tina.
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Do you still love me?
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Do you? Do you still love me?
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Don't do this. Don't destroy us.
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If I could just interject for a second here, um...
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wasn't Tina who destroyed this relationship, that was you.
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And it's a good thing to remember, as
you're dealing with the consequences.
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I am dealing with the consequences.
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Well good for you, but this moment isn't about you,
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this is about Tina. And what she wants.
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Tina? Is this what you want?
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- I... I think things need to be different.
- Did you hear that?
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They will be. They will be different.
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So why don't you get off the floor and let her do what she
wants for once, instead of you running the whole show?
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C'mon.
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Why don't we reschedule this at a time when
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everyone is feeling a little less dramatic?
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Well, talk about a command performance.
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Meryl Streep couldn't have done it any better.
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I'm instructing you not to have any contact
with her until we get this thing settled.
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She'll just wear you down until she gets what she wants.
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I've seen it a thousand times.
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"I cheated on you...
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Feel sorry for me...
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I'm in pain!"
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Hey, Emily, will you get me a protein shake?
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Tina, you want anything?
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No, no... no thank you.
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God, I'm just so fucking mad!
88
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Good! Good! Anger will help you change your life!
89
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Now c'mon, sit down.
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Okay. I want you to tell me what you need, right now.
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An ice cream sundae?
92
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Foot massage?
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- I need my own life.
- Tell me what I can do to make that happen.
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I'm having a baby.
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I don't have a place to live. I'm sleeping on my friend's couch.
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Been there for a month, I know she wants me out.
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- I should take that deal.
- No, no, no, no, no, no.
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My guest house is empty and you're going to move into it
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until we get the deal we want.
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- Joyce, I can't do that.
- Why not?
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What, you don't have luggage?
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Can't lift heavy things? I'll get somebody to help you.
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You know how many of my clients have stayed in my guest house?
104
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Plenty.
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I'm happy to have it to offer.
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Good girl.
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Are you blind?! You fucking went through a red!
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Get out of that fucking car!
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Com' on get out of the car!
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Get out of the fucking car!
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You need to stop yelling. No one was hurt,
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I have insurance, so just shut the fuck up,
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do you fucking understand me you fucking idiot,
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or do I need to scream like you, like a fucking insane savage?!
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You're gonna be one sorry bitch!
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What makes you think I'm not already?!
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What makes you think I'm not already?!
118
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Stuff there for you to do...
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take those two boards out.
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Kit!
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I didn't expect it to change so much!
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It is gonna be a different place.
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I got a real sound system coming here tomorrow,
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and they're gonna finish the floor today,
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then the stage...
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The stage is always gonna be ready.
127
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We're gonna have - we're gonna have keyboards, drums, guitars,
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just in case a Lenny Kravitz comes into town,
129
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Sheryl Crow, Mary J. come in here and they wanna kick it and jam?
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They got a place.
131
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And I got a jazz quartet for the opening night,
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man, they're the bomb!
133
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A jazz quartet?
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Kit! This is...
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West Hollywood, this is Gay Town!
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You... gotta give the girlies what they want.
137
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Well, I can't change that now, that's Mason Ray,
138
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You know, he was with the Velvets and the Sheffields...
y'all heard of him, right?
139
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No
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No, no, no, it's gonna - it's totally gonna be okay.
141
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Look, Kit, I swear, it's not that big of a deal.
142
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Listen - no. People like that music. They do.
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Not the people that come in here.
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I mean, you know, she's right.
145
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You know, I'm not playing to my core audience.
146
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We'll find you someone.
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I know! I know!
148
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Pink! Pink! She's in town!
149
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Al, how are you gonna get Pink.
150
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Well, we've gotta know a lesbian who knows a lesbian,
who knows another one who knows her.
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- We could get to her. Right?
- Yeah.
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She would love to play here!
153
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That's not gonna happen.
154
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Kit, believe in the power of the lesbian phone tree.
155
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I need something solid.
156
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Wait, um...
157
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I know someone who's a DJ.
158
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And she's excellent, but I know that's not what you're looking...
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No, I'll, no - I'll take it. I will definitely take it.
160
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And she better be good.
161
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She is.
162
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Miss Birch?
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Yes ?
164
00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:34,600
My... my name is Jennifer Schecter.
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Um. I applied for your writing class?
166
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The class is full. You can try again next semester.
167
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I - I - I realize that. But,
168
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I just actually wanted to know why I didn't get in?
169
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Maybe it's your self-consciousness.
170
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The schoolgirl outfit you came in here with?
171
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Am I supposed to fall for that?
172
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I want real writers in this class.
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Fiction writers.
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You don't write like that. You journal.
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You think because you change the circumstance and
the settings, that you're creating,
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but you're not.
177
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And I'm not here to read the autobiography of Miss Jenny Schecter.
178
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Become a writer first.
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Then maybe.
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Well thank you for letting me know.
181
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But please don't presume that you know me.
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This is gonna be great.
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You know? I mean, the place will be all yours.
184
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You could have stayed totally as long as
you wanted at my place, so you know.
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Stop feeling bad. You need your apartment back so you can work.
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Oh, I know, I'm just, you know, friends should sacrifice for each other,
187
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- And I wanna sacrifice.
- You've already sacrificed!
188
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Whoa. Is this the guest house?
189
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Okay. I officially stopped feeling bad, for sure.
190
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Think about the breakups that built this house.
191
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Well, I mean, let's not forget she does use her powers for good.
192
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If it weren't for her, there'd be no second-parent adoptions.
193
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I don't think it was the adoptions that paid for this place.
194
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Whoa!
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You're stoked.
196
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I just wanted to give this to you.
The bank sent it to my house.
197
00:13:11,800 --> 00:13:12,900
You alright?
198
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I've been better.
199
00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:17,200
Me too.
200
00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:20,100
Have you eaten?
201
00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:24,200
- No.
- Want me to order something?
202
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I guess.
203
00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:34,300
I may not be able to pull this off by Friday.
204
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Half my deliveries aren't in and the sound system may not be ready
205
00:13:41,500 --> 00:13:43,600
Tina is taking legal action against me.
206
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She's divorcing me and I smashed my car in an intersection, so...
207
00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:55,900
You want Mexican?
208
00:13:57,800 --> 00:13:58,800
Sure.
209
00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:08,900
- Hi. I'm... sorry.
- Oh, no, no, no, hey. That's okay.
210
00:14:09,400 --> 00:14:12,200
Let me ask you something. What says you care more,
211
00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:13,600
beer or soy milk?
212
00:14:13,900 --> 00:14:16,600
- Soy milk.
- But that's not very sexy, though, is it?
213
00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:17,800
No.
214
00:14:20,300 --> 00:14:21,900
Allright, well that's what I thought.
215
00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:25,700
And there's more in the fridge if you want it, and I'm Carmen.
216
00:14:26,300 --> 00:14:27,300
I'm, uh, Jenny.
217
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I know.
218
00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:31,100
Nice to meet you.
219
00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:35,100
Oh, uh... sorry you had to meet me in my SupahLovah Costume.
220
00:14:35,300 --> 00:14:37,200
- No, it's... it's nice.
- Okay.
221
00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:38,800
- I like it.
- Good night.
222
00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:48,800
Hey!
223
00:14:49,600 --> 00:14:50,900
- Hi.
- You going somewhere?
224
00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:54,000
Um... yeah, I was...
225
00:14:54,500 --> 00:14:56,300
- Thinking of going out.
- Were you.
226
00:14:57,400 --> 00:14:58,400
Uh, well, I, uh...
227
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:01,900
I think you should stay.
228
00:15:02,100 --> 00:15:03,600
- Really.
- Yeah, I do.
229
00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:07,100
I think you should stay home.
230
00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:10,200
And I think you should play a game with me.
231
00:15:10,500 --> 00:15:11,200
Oh yeah ?
232
00:15:13,100 --> 00:15:14,700
This game is called...
233
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"Too Hot."
234
00:15:18,700 --> 00:15:20,200
And here's how we play.
235
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We... start kissing.
236
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And we can't stop kissing.
237
00:15:34,500 --> 00:15:36,500
But we also can't touch.
238
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No touching.
239
00:15:39,300 --> 00:15:41,300
So, then, if you touch me,
240
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then you lose.
241
00:15:44,100 --> 00:15:46,100
And that means I can do whatever I want.
242
00:15:49,300 --> 00:15:51,400
And... what happens if you touch me?
243
00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:53,000
Then...
244
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I lose.
245
00:15:56,900 --> 00:16:00,700
And you get to do whatever you want to me.
246
00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:06,400
So.
247
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Are you ready?
248
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:11,600
- Yeah.
- Okay.
249
00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:13,600
Hands off.
250
00:16:13,900 --> 00:16:15,400
Okay, here we go.
251
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Lie down... bitch!
252
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Oh. You're so awful.
253
00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:01,200
Mm. Did I say you could touch me?
254
00:17:02,300 --> 00:17:04,600
- No.
- No. And why?
255
00:17:06,500 --> 00:17:09,000
- Because I lost.
- That's right. And?
256
00:17:11,100 --> 00:17:13,000
What? I didn't hear you?
257
00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:16,200
- Because you won.
- That's right. I won. Loser.
258
00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:17,900
That's right. I won. Loser.
259
00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:27,000
Stay.
260
00:17:27,900 --> 00:17:29,000
You're such a...
261
00:17:29,700 --> 00:17:30,600
bitch.
262
00:17:33,500 --> 00:17:34,900
There I was at the carnival.
263
00:17:35,100 --> 00:17:36,700
Life was so simple, indeed.
264
00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:39,000
Lots to do at the carnival.
265
00:17:39,400 --> 00:17:40,000
Step right up!
266
00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:44,000
Hurry, hurry! Keep 'em coming! ... bulldog...
267
00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:46,200
- See the results in a jar!
- No no no no no no...
268
00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:02,200
"Here we are, at the carnival,
269
00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:04,500
laughing and singing and shouting,
270
00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:07,600
we're shouting, shouting, we're shouting.
271
00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:11,400
Lots to do at the carnival. "
272
00:18:39,800 --> 00:18:42,100
Tell me where you grew up. Tell me...
273
00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:44,200
Tell me where this...
274
00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:46,500
... came from.
275
00:18:49,800 --> 00:18:52,600
Nothing? Not gonna talk? Okay. Um.
276
00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:56,600
How bout...
277
00:18:57,300 --> 00:19:00,600
how 'bout a hamster? Did you ever have a hamster growing up?
278
00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:03,100
No ? No... okay, um...
279
00:19:03,900 --> 00:19:06,600
Brother and sister. How many of those did you have?
280
00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:10,200
You know what, let's start with mom and dad.
281
00:19:12,100 --> 00:19:14,400
Are they married or divorced?
282
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:17,600
Do you write them, do you...
283
00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:19,600
see them, do you... love them ?
284
00:19:19,900 --> 00:19:21,100
I mean, anything...
285
00:19:32,500 --> 00:19:33,800
I'm gonna go out.
286
00:19:47,300 --> 00:19:49,400
Okay. Um. What about your tattoo. Why do you have that ?
287
00:19:55,100 --> 00:19:56,100
I like it.
288
00:19:57,600 --> 00:19:59,600
Good. You like it. Great.
289
00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:04,300
You know what?
290
00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:06,400
Um. I guess, uh...
291
00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:08,700
I'm gonna be leaving.
292
00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:11,400
So.
293
00:20:14,700 --> 00:20:16,300
I don't know, you know, if you have,
like, house rules or something...
294
00:20:16,500 --> 00:20:19,400
No! I don't. There are... there are no house rules.
295
00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:21,700
- Right. Right.
- There's not.
296
00:20:23,300 --> 00:20:24,200
I...
297
00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:26,200
I don't like sleep-overs.
298
00:20:27,800 --> 00:20:29,000
I'm sorry.
299
00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:32,200
- But I don't.
- Okay.
300
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:36,500
You don't have to explain anything. It's your choice.
301
00:20:39,700 --> 00:20:41,200
Well, get ready!
302
00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:52,700
Love at first sight.
303
00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:55,300
At the Dinah Shore weekend of all places!
304
00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:58,200
Here comes the bride!
305
00:20:59,300 --> 00:21:00,500
- Honey!
- Hi, honey.
306
00:21:01,600 --> 00:21:03,800
What's going on? Thought it was just us.
307
00:21:04,800 --> 00:21:07,500
Dana. This is Vanessa Godson from Absolut Vodka.
308
00:21:07,700 --> 00:21:09,200
You know Brian Karikawa
309
00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:11,700
- ...from Subaru.
- Hi.
310
00:21:11,900 --> 00:21:13,400
Nina Alexander from Bride Magazine.
311
00:21:13,400 --> 00:21:16,700
- We have Roman Brown from Wilson.
- Hi.
312
00:21:16,800 --> 00:21:18,300
Sam Counter from The Advocate.
313
00:21:19,300 --> 00:21:21,800
And of course you know our business manager.
314
00:21:22,100 --> 00:21:23,800
- Eric...
- Eh Dana.
315
00:21:24,900 --> 00:21:25,800
Have a seat.
316
00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:31,800
Research shows our country is obsessed with weddings,
317
00:21:32,100 --> 00:21:33,600
especially celebrity weddings.
318
00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:38,200
Together, we are gonna produce an event unlike any they have ever seen.
319
00:21:38,500 --> 00:21:43,700
Welcome to the first-ever, corporate-sponsored,
celebrity lesbian wedding!
320
00:21:50,600 --> 00:21:52,800
Now if we could all turn to page four of our packets.
321
00:21:53,100 --> 00:21:58,000
Picture this. A gleaming white Subaru with
"Just Married" stenciled on the back window.
322
00:21:58,300 --> 00:22:01,200
Subaru Outback? It's clever, Tonya.
323
00:22:02,300 --> 00:22:04,900
We'll have simultaneous covers on The Advocate, and Bride Magazine,
324
00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:07,400
each with a back page Absolut Vodka ad.
325
00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:10,900
"Here's to a marriage not on the rocks." That's fantastic.
326
00:22:11,300 --> 00:22:13,200
And the car could be dragging Wilson tennis ball cans.
327
00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:16,200
- I love it.
- You read my mind, Roman. After all,
328
00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:19,100
it takes balls to break the law.
329
00:22:21,100 --> 00:22:24,200
Dana and I won't just be making our commitment to each other.
330
00:22:24,800 --> 00:22:26,000
We'll be making history.
331
00:22:27,100 --> 00:22:27,800
No. Herstory.
332
00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:33,000
- Absolut herstory.
- Exactly.
333
00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:37,600
There are three new shows I'd like to commission.
334
00:22:37,900 --> 00:22:41,000
I assume we're counting on the Peabody Foundation
to underwrite some of this?
335
00:22:41,200 --> 00:22:43,400
Well, they have funded it for the past six years.
336
00:22:43,700 --> 00:22:45,900
Yes, but Peggy Peabody is stepping down.
337
00:22:46,200 --> 00:22:47,900
And, uh, her daughter Helena is taking over.
338
00:22:48,700 --> 00:22:50,000
Could be a whole new ballgame.
339
00:22:50,300 --> 00:22:53,500
Bad news, is, we don't know what Helena Peabody has in mind.
340
00:22:53,700 --> 00:22:56,200
Good news is that she's one of your people.
341
00:22:56,400 --> 00:22:57,400
One of "my people" ?
342
00:22:58,800 --> 00:23:00,800
What are you referring to, what, is she a Yale graduate,
343
00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:02,700
an art history major,
344
00:23:02,900 --> 00:23:04,400
is she a mulatto gal, is that what you're trying to say?
345
00:23:04,700 --> 00:23:05,800
I meant she's a lesbian.
346
00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:07,900
And why is that a good thing?
347
00:23:08,700 --> 00:23:11,400
Because I thought your paths might have crossed.
It could be useful.
348
00:23:11,600 --> 00:23:14,600
Right. Because me and my people, we're all on a first-name basis.
349
00:23:14,700 --> 00:23:17,300
May I suggest you get on one? Because if we lose that grant...
350
00:23:17,600 --> 00:23:20,600
Franklin, if you want me to go to New York and make nice, I will.
351
00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:23,100
But please, stop panicking. I'll handle it.
352
00:23:23,400 --> 00:23:24,300
Uh, excuse me.
353
00:23:24,600 --> 00:23:27,600
Uh, there's a Brad Green on the phone.
He's called like fourteen times.
354
00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:36,400
What part of "no" don't you understand, Mr. Green?
355
00:23:36,700 --> 00:23:39,500
I am not going to write you a blank check just because you yell,
356
00:23:39,800 --> 00:23:41,800
like a fucking banshee.
357
00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:43,400
I need an estimate.
358
00:23:43,600 --> 00:23:46,200
The insurance company needs an estimate,
359
00:23:46,500 --> 00:23:49,400
do you see a pattern here, it's the way things are done.
360
00:23:54,100 --> 00:23:57,800
Listen, you asshole, if you keep pushing me, you're gonna
end up with a lawsuit on your hands, you got it?
361
00:24:00,100 --> 00:24:01,800
Bring it on, you fucking dwarf.
362
00:24:09,200 --> 00:24:10,400
Shall we move on?
363
00:24:14,700 --> 00:24:18,300
So. I'll cut a check for Tonya today from the corporate account.
364
00:24:18,600 --> 00:24:19,300
For what?
365
00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:22,100
Uh, her manager's fee. I think it should
come from the corporate account,
366
00:24:22,300 --> 00:24:24,300
because it's better for tax purposes.
367
00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:26,800
Tonya's taking a manager's fee?
368
00:24:27,300 --> 00:24:29,000
Well, just the standard fifteen.
369
00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:31,500
Is that... okay?
370
00:24:33,300 --> 00:24:34,500
Yeah, it's fine.
371
00:24:35,200 --> 00:24:36,000
No. It's fine.
372
00:24:36,200 --> 00:24:37,600
Eric, one second.
373
00:24:39,900 --> 00:24:40,900
Lunch.
374
00:24:41,900 --> 00:24:43,400
Who... who paid for lunch?
375
00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:46,000
Oh. We'll take it out of corporate.
376
00:24:46,300 --> 00:24:47,300
Corporate. Of course.
377
00:24:47,500 --> 00:24:49,300
- Great job, Tonya.
- Thanks.
378
00:24:50,600 --> 00:24:53,800
I have to go. The Monistat rep couldn't make it to lunch,
so I'm gonna go pitch her now, okay?
379
00:24:56,200 --> 00:24:57,000
You okay?
380
00:24:57,800 --> 00:25:00,900
You told Eric to pay you a 15% manager's fee?
381
00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:02,100
Is that bad?
382
00:25:02,800 --> 00:25:05,100
Are you my fianc�e, Tonya, or are you my manager?
383
00:25:05,600 --> 00:25:07,000
I'm both.
384
00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:11,000
Dana, don't get so upset. We talked about this.
385
00:25:11,300 --> 00:25:13,200
No, we never talked about this.
386
00:25:15,300 --> 00:25:16,300
Are...are you ...am I not doing enough?
387
00:25:17,100 --> 00:25:18,600
Do you think I haven't earned 15%?
388
00:25:20,100 --> 00:25:22,100
No... you've done... you've done a lot.
389
00:25:23,800 --> 00:25:26,100
Hey. I love to do it, and I'm good at it.
390
00:25:26,800 --> 00:25:28,400
And you need a manager.
391
00:25:29,300 --> 00:25:32,200
Would it make you feel better to get somebody else,
because I can brief them,
392
00:25:32,400 --> 00:25:33,500
on everything we have going on.
393
00:25:33,800 --> 00:25:37,200
No, no, no, no, don't, it's fine. I'm just surprised, okay.
394
00:25:38,400 --> 00:25:42,200
I could swear we talked about this.
I think you are training too hard.
395
00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:45,200
I have to dash.
396
00:25:46,300 --> 00:25:48,100
I love you.
397
00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:19,400
It's me.
398
00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:25,900
Are you here to complain about your fianc�e ?
399
00:26:33,100 --> 00:26:35,500
She's taking 15% of my earnings, Al.
400
00:26:48,300 --> 00:26:49,900
Yeah, what's going on?
401
00:26:51,300 --> 00:26:52,600
I can't come up.
402
00:26:52,800 --> 00:26:53,800
Why?
403
00:26:54,800 --> 00:26:56,300
The rules, Al!
404
00:26:57,600 --> 00:26:59,900
Just... we'll figure something out!
405
00:27:07,900 --> 00:27:10,200
You're just gonna let her take 15% of your income?
406
00:27:10,400 --> 00:27:11,600
What can I do ? Al ?
407
00:27:11,900 --> 00:27:13,300
Fire her !
408
00:27:13,500 --> 00:27:17,200
Dana, you're marrying an endorsement slip!
409
00:27:18,100 --> 00:27:20,400
But... I can't believe she got you all those deals, though.
410
00:27:21,400 --> 00:27:23,000
That is pretty incredible, actually.
411
00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:27,400
Well, if - if you wanna auction off your
love to the highest bidder, it is.
412
00:27:27,600 --> 00:27:29,600
It's her job, Al.
413
00:27:29,800 --> 00:27:33,500
It's her job now because you always let her get her way.
414
00:27:33,700 --> 00:27:35,100
It's weird.
415
00:27:35,300 --> 00:27:35,900
Look out.
416
00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:37,100
- Hey, Patty.
- Hey.
417
00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:45,900
- She's got you brainwashed.
- No she doesn't.
418
00:27:47,200 --> 00:27:48,700
Don't you think...
419
00:27:50,300 --> 00:27:51,400
just a little?
420
00:27:53,900 --> 00:27:55,400
Maybe a little.
421
00:28:04,800 --> 00:28:06,500
Your skin looks really good.
422
00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:09,000
Really ?
423
00:28:09,200 --> 00:28:11,500
Well, I was just... forget it.
424
00:28:12,800 --> 00:28:14,400
Well, you look really good, too.
425
00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:15,600
Thanks.
426
00:28:19,500 --> 00:28:21,500
My... feel my thighs, they're getting stronger.
427
00:28:24,300 --> 00:28:26,600
Yeah - they're tight. Tighter.
428
00:28:26,800 --> 00:28:27,800
They're tight!
429
00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:36,400
Oh, sorry.
430
00:28:53,600 --> 00:28:55,000
You going to Shane's? Tonight?
431
00:28:56,300 --> 00:28:58,500
- Yeah.
- Cool...
432
00:29:01,100 --> 00:29:03,100
- Is Tonya coming ?
- Yeah.
433
00:29:05,700 --> 00:29:09,200
'Kay. I'm gonna get back cleaning. I was cleaning. So, I'm just...
434
00:29:15,900 --> 00:29:18,800
- I rewrote my submission.
- I already told you, the class is full.
435
00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:22,300
But I did what you said. I turned it into fiction.
436
00:29:22,500 --> 00:29:25,100
I want you to read it, and I want you to tell me if you think that I haven't.
437
00:29:25,900 --> 00:29:27,100
I'm not opening this car until you're gone.
438
00:29:27,600 --> 00:29:30,400
This... means more to me than you can imagine.
439
00:29:31,700 --> 00:29:32,500
And I know that you can make me
440
00:29:32,700 --> 00:29:34,300
a better writer.
441
00:29:37,400 --> 00:29:39,000
You have already.
442
00:29:50,500 --> 00:29:55,000
Hey girl, just checking in, see how
you're progressing with getting Pink.
443
00:29:55,600 --> 00:29:58,500
Yeah, I talked to some people.
444
00:29:58,800 --> 00:30:01,200
They're really excited about the possibility of, uh, her performing.
445
00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:02,800
Yeah. No, I know...
446
00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:04,600
I know...
447
00:30:04,900 --> 00:30:07,500
I'm really countin' on the tree, you know.
448
00:30:07,800 --> 00:30:11,100
- Don't let me down.
- I'm still trying, Kit. Yeah.
449
00:30:12,500 --> 00:30:13,300
Okay... I know.
450
00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:15,800
Okay. I'm really sorry.
451
00:30:16,700 --> 00:30:18,300
Okay, sorry. Allright.
452
00:30:20,600 --> 00:30:22,200
I'm too old for this shit, man!
453
00:30:22,400 --> 00:30:25,800
Okay, you guys. We've gotta know someone who knows Pink.
454
00:30:26,100 --> 00:30:28,200
Gillian! What about Gillian?
455
00:30:28,500 --> 00:30:30,800
Nah, Gillian got married and moved to Costa Rica or something.
456
00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:33,000
- So she's not even talking to Dorothy?
- No! Definitely not.
457
00:30:33,200 --> 00:30:35,800
- Why don't you just phone her agent?
- 'Cause that would be too easy.
458
00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:38,100
You never should have promised Kit you'd get Pink.
459
00:30:38,100 --> 00:30:39,100
I know. Thanks.
460
00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:44,800
Oh, Jenny, I'm sorry... I thought you were working late.
461
00:30:45,600 --> 00:30:47,400
- We can go, though.
- No, no, no, don't.
462
00:30:47,700 --> 00:30:50,700
I, uh, I skipped my shift. It was raining. Thank you.
463
00:30:51,300 --> 00:30:52,500
I was running an errand.
464
00:30:53,700 --> 00:30:53,700
Here there's an other one.
465
00:30:53,700 --> 00:30:55,700
Alice was complaining that there weren't enough interesting,
466
00:30:55,800 --> 00:30:58,400
- single women in L.A.
- She's not single. She...
467
00:30:58,400 --> 00:30:59,200
You're seeing Robin, right?
468
00:30:59,300 --> 00:31:01,700
No, we actually... we broke up.
469
00:31:02,800 --> 00:31:04,800
Wow. So you're single!
470
00:31:06,100 --> 00:31:08,100
- Wow. What happened ?
- Um. I don't know.
471
00:31:09,200 --> 00:31:11,200
She's smart, and she's sexy,
472
00:31:11,400 --> 00:31:13,100
and she's great.
473
00:31:13,300 --> 00:31:15,600
But she brought a U-Haul to the second date.
474
00:31:15,900 --> 00:31:17,000
Oh, god, did you talk to her ?
475
00:31:20,900 --> 00:31:22,600
No, it's...
476
00:31:22,800 --> 00:31:25,600
...moving in after a second date, classic lesbian move.
477
00:31:25,600 --> 00:31:26,900
Right, Tonya?
478
00:31:27,300 --> 00:31:30,100
Something good doesn't stay on the
shelf long in this community, Alice.
479
00:31:32,400 --> 00:31:35,400
Well, everyone's having such a good time.
480
00:31:38,600 --> 00:31:42,400
I thought I would invite myself since no one bothers to anymore.
481
00:31:42,600 --> 00:31:43,600
Join us.
482
00:31:46,300 --> 00:31:49,300
Would anyone mind if I sit,
483
00:31:49,600 --> 00:31:52,300
or is everyone suddenly gonna remember
some place that they have to be?
484
00:31:52,600 --> 00:31:53,700
Bette, nobody's avoiding you,
485
00:31:53,900 --> 00:31:56,300
- we all love you.
- Especially you, Alice.
486
00:31:56,500 --> 00:31:58,000
I do. Actually.
487
00:31:58,800 --> 00:32:02,800
It... hasn't been easy. Nobody likes choosing sides.
488
00:32:03,100 --> 00:32:05,000
But you do it so well.
489
00:32:05,200 --> 00:32:06,700
- C'mon, Bette.
- Is it time for me to shut up?
490
00:32:08,800 --> 00:32:11,600
No, it's... no. We're here... to have a good time. So..
491
00:32:12,800 --> 00:32:14,200
- Let's do that.
- Okay.
492
00:32:26,100 --> 00:32:27,800
This is really awkward.
493
00:32:28,400 --> 00:32:32,700
I always think when things get this bad
that it's best to change the subject.
494
00:32:34,800 --> 00:32:37,100
So, I'm gonna ask a question and everybody can take turns answering.
495
00:32:39,800 --> 00:32:42,800
Um... okay. The question's gonna be...
if you saw yourself at a bar,
496
00:32:43,400 --> 00:32:45,100
would you ask yourself out?
497
00:32:45,300 --> 00:32:46,600
I'll go first.
498
00:32:48,500 --> 00:32:51,200
I think... if I saw myself...
499
00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:55,400
... that, just for a minute, I'd think my thighs were too big.
500
00:32:55,600 --> 00:32:57,600
And then I'd decide that I like that.
501
00:32:59,200 --> 00:33:01,100
Okay, so you go next. Honey?
502
00:33:01,400 --> 00:33:02,400
Why don't you go.
503
00:33:04,100 --> 00:33:06,200
I think I would wanna ask myself out.
504
00:33:07,000 --> 00:33:10,600
It would nnnever happen 'cause you wouldn't
have the balls to ask yourself out.
505
00:33:12,100 --> 00:33:14,400
Well, I would fuck myself...
506
00:33:16,100 --> 00:33:18,500
- but I wouldn't date myself.
- 'Cause you wouldn't do that?
507
00:33:18,800 --> 00:33:20,200
It's her house rules.
508
00:33:20,400 --> 00:33:22,500
- Al, would you answer the question?
- Okay...
509
00:33:22,700 --> 00:33:23,800
It's a stupid question but okay.
510
00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:28,600
Whatever. Okay, I don't know, I would think
that I was hysterical and charming, but...
511
00:33:28,800 --> 00:33:30,700
I don't think I'd go there.
512
00:33:31,300 --> 00:33:33,100
Something tells me you would.
513
00:33:36,200 --> 00:33:39,600
Okay... What is going on with you two,
you're totally on each other.
514
00:33:40,500 --> 00:33:41,700
Jenny hasn't answered.
515
00:33:42,700 --> 00:33:44,900
Um, I think that if I were a guy,
516
00:33:45,200 --> 00:33:48,400
I would definitely ask myself out as a woman,
517
00:33:51,200 --> 00:33:55,700
and if I were a woman there's no fucking way that I would ever ask myself out as a woman.
518
00:33:58,600 --> 00:33:59,500
Interesting.
519
00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:03,200
What about you, Bette ?
520
00:34:10,300 --> 00:34:12,200
I would see myself...
521
00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:17,700
and then I would go running... in the opposite direction.
522
00:34:33,280 --> 00:34:35,000
Okay. We're almost there.
523
00:34:35,240 --> 00:34:36,560
Just a few more steps.
524
00:34:39,120 --> 00:34:41,680
I know, baby.
Alright, alright. Right here, alright?
525
00:34:50,640 --> 00:34:52,320
Oh no... don't cry.
C'mon.
526
00:34:54,440 --> 00:34:55,440
Shh, shh, shh. C'mon.
527
00:35:02,720 --> 00:35:03,920
I'm sorry...
528
00:35:05,200 --> 00:35:06,400
I'm sorry...
529
00:35:08,040 --> 00:35:09,720
There's no need to be sorry.
530
00:35:20,120 --> 00:35:21,440
I'm sorry.
531
00:35:39,960 --> 00:35:43,040
Welcome to the defining moment of your existence.
532
00:35:47,360 --> 00:35:49,040
Is everybody signed in?
533
00:35:52,080 --> 00:35:52,880
I haven't.
534
00:35:58,560 --> 00:36:01,680
Let's pick up where we left off last time.
535
00:36:02,360 --> 00:36:05,080
We were writing about
the hunter and the hunted.
536
00:36:06,840 --> 00:36:09,400
How's everybody feel about that?
537
00:36:09,640 --> 00:36:12,400
A little shaky? Unsure of themselves?
538
00:36:13,200 --> 00:36:16,360
If not, I'll make you feel that way, imminently.
539
00:36:33,240 --> 00:36:35,600
Oh, god, James, thank god it's you.
540
00:36:35,840 --> 00:36:38,640
Yeah, I was wondering if it was gonna be Franklin
breathing down my neck.
541
00:36:39,680 --> 00:36:43,920
Listen, I need you to email me
last year's Peabody grant application.
542
00:36:44,160 --> 00:36:46,040
Yeah, I'm completely stuck.
543
00:36:48,680 --> 00:36:50,440
Okay. Allright, great. Thanks.
544
00:36:51,760 --> 00:36:54,360
No, I'm not coming in today, I'm working from home.
545
00:36:55,480 --> 00:36:58,200
Yeah, I need to get this grant proposal finished.
546
00:36:58,440 --> 00:36:59,440
Allright?
547
00:37:49,720 --> 00:37:51,200
C'mon in! C'mon in!
548
00:37:56,840 --> 00:37:58,120
It's open!
549
00:38:01,160 --> 00:38:03,040
Well - don't tell me you're not coming?
550
00:38:05,560 --> 00:38:07,360
It's the reopening of The Planet!
551
00:38:08,800 --> 00:38:10,480
I mean, I know you don't wanna see Bette, but,
552
00:38:11,600 --> 00:38:13,400
we all have to be there to support Kit.
553
00:38:13,640 --> 00:38:15,440
I'm sorry, I can't. I - I need...
554
00:38:15,680 --> 00:38:18,000
...to finish this grant proposal,
and turn it in by tonight.
555
00:38:18,240 --> 00:38:20,800
Plus, I wanna go by the house and pick up
some things while Bette isn't there.
556
00:38:21,840 --> 00:38:22,840
Great.
557
00:38:30,120 --> 00:38:33,520
Remember how I used to tell you it would suck
if you and Bette broke up? Well it does.
558
00:38:33,760 --> 00:38:35,160
This is so fucked.
559
00:38:40,000 --> 00:38:41,440
You know, I'm starting to get scared, it's like...
560
00:38:41,680 --> 00:38:44,600
...Bette's smoking and drinking
herself to death, and you're...
561
00:38:46,360 --> 00:38:47,680
I'm gonna say it, Tina...
562
00:38:48,560 --> 00:38:50,640
You're eating your pain!
And I don't know how much...
563
00:38:50,880 --> 00:38:52,720
...weight you've gained!
But if you don't stop,
564
00:38:52,960 --> 00:38:55,120
you're gonna have to go to some ashram,
565
00:38:55,360 --> 00:38:58,960
or hire some really majorly important trainer.
566
00:38:59,200 --> 00:39:00,600
- And you don't have the money!
- Alice.
567
00:39:01,880 --> 00:39:03,160
I'm not fat.
568
00:39:13,400 --> 00:39:14,400
Shit...
569
00:39:16,840 --> 00:39:18,480
I'm a little confused...
570
00:39:19,760 --> 00:39:20,640
How did that happen?
571
00:39:21,120 --> 00:39:23,720
I - I did it while Bette and I were still together.
572
00:39:24,680 --> 00:39:27,080
But I didn't tell her because
I wanted to see if it would take.
573
00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:31,000
I didn't think she could handle another miscarriage.
574
00:39:35,400 --> 00:39:38,040
- Ohh. Look, it's gonna be okay!
- No, it's not, it's so fucked up.
575
00:39:39,200 --> 00:39:40,920
I'm gonna have a baby.
576
00:39:41,800 --> 00:39:44,240
I thought it was gonna be mine and Bette's,
577
00:39:44,480 --> 00:39:46,160
but it's going to be my baby.
578
00:39:46,400 --> 00:39:48,200
And I am going to love her,
579
00:39:48,440 --> 00:39:51,080
and care for her,
and I am going to give her...
580
00:39:51,320 --> 00:39:53,160
...a great shot at life.
581
00:39:55,800 --> 00:39:56,800
C'mere.
582
00:40:38,320 --> 00:40:41,800
- Is that Carmen spinning?
- Yeah, I hooked her up with Kit.
583
00:40:42,040 --> 00:40:43,640
Aren't you gonna go say hi?
584
00:40:44,440 --> 00:40:45,440
I did.
585
00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:50,000
What.
586
00:40:50,240 --> 00:40:53,600
I don't know, you just sometimes remind me
of guys I used to date in high school.
587
00:40:59,760 --> 00:41:01,684
May I have two of those please.
588
00:41:33,280 --> 00:41:34,280
Sorry.
589
00:41:35,520 --> 00:41:36,520
'Scuse me. Shane!
590
00:41:38,400 --> 00:41:40,040
Allright, okay, um, I have to tell you something
I'm really kinda not supposed to tell you.
591
00:41:40,280 --> 00:41:41,320
Fight the urge.
592
00:41:42,240 --> 00:41:43,760
But... but I can't!
593
00:41:44,320 --> 00:41:45,240
Try.
594
00:41:46,640 --> 00:41:48,400
- But it's hard!
- I know! But try.
595
00:41:52,280 --> 00:41:56,000
You shook the lesbian phone tree
and look what fell out.
596
00:41:57,920 --> 00:42:00,240
Oh, my god. It's Betty.
597
00:42:00,480 --> 00:42:02,160
Bow to the power of the tree.
Hey, Betty rules!
598
00:42:11,520 --> 00:42:13,600
- What.
- Hm?
- What?
599
00:42:13,840 --> 00:42:14,800
- What?
- What?
600
00:42:54,360 --> 00:42:57,160
I didn't know that you were a regular smoker.
601
00:42:57,400 --> 00:43:00,800
I'm not, I - I quit. Four years ago.
602
00:43:02,440 --> 00:43:03,520
Thank you.
603
00:43:09,520 --> 00:43:10,640
How are you?
604
00:43:11,560 --> 00:43:13,880
How were you when your life fell apart?
605
00:43:16,760 --> 00:43:17,880
A mess.
606
00:43:20,560 --> 00:43:22,680
That's it. That's me.
607
00:43:25,600 --> 00:43:26,560
You know what?
608
00:43:28,400 --> 00:43:30,080
It does get better.
609
00:43:34,160 --> 00:43:38,280
You know, I keep...
replaying it, over and over again in my head.
610
00:43:39,179 --> 00:43:40,179
Just trying to figure out...
611
00:43:40,180 --> 00:43:43,760
the exact moment...
when I could have stopped myself.
612
00:43:45,120 --> 00:43:46,200
You can't do that.
613
00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:50,520
Because we all make mistakes.
614
00:43:53,680 --> 00:43:54,880
But not me.
615
00:43:55,960 --> 00:43:57,360
Not like this.
616
00:44:05,080 --> 00:44:08,300
I don't even know why you're talking
to me about this. I mean,
617
00:44:09,040 --> 00:44:12,560
it wasn't like I was very nice to you
when you went through all of this with Tim.
618
00:44:18,920 --> 00:44:20,120
I don't know.
619
00:44:22,800 --> 00:44:25,760
I guess...
I know how that feels.
620
00:45:13,800 --> 00:45:15,120
I was thinking about the other night.
621
00:45:15,360 --> 00:45:18,840
You know, when I said a good woman
didn't sit on the shelf for very long.
622
00:45:19,080 --> 00:45:20,960
- I hope I didn't offend you.
- Uh, no?
623
00:45:22,000 --> 00:45:23,600
Because I know you've been
single for a really long time,
624
00:45:24,480 --> 00:45:27,160
and it must be so hard to have your best friend
so happy and in love.
625
00:45:27,161 --> 00:45:28,161
No?
626
00:45:30,040 --> 00:45:31,840
Come on. I'm not blind, Alice.
627
00:45:32,480 --> 00:45:35,640
Blind, blind to what?
Dana? No! No! I -
628
00:45:38,160 --> 00:45:40,040
That's not what I meant.
629
00:45:40,280 --> 00:45:42,080
But you gotta admit, she's adorable!
630
00:45:42,840 --> 00:45:45,080
You've gotta miss that in your life!
631
00:45:48,160 --> 00:45:50,640
That's why you're so mean!
You miss her!
632
00:45:51,520 --> 00:45:53,200
I barged in and I stole your best buddy.
633
00:45:53,680 --> 00:45:56,600
Look! Dana loves you!
634
00:45:57,800 --> 00:45:59,200
But I want you to know, okay?
635
00:45:59,440 --> 00:46:02,080
Ton-Ton knows how to share.
636
00:46:05,160 --> 00:46:07,800
I gotta pee! I gotta pee!
I GOTTA PEE!
637
00:46:10,400 --> 00:46:11,400
I gotta pee too.
638
00:46:11,800 --> 00:46:13,960
Not so fast, hot stuff.
639
00:46:38,720 --> 00:46:40,440
Ladies... and a few gentlemen.
640
00:46:41,320 --> 00:46:43,000
This is a dream come true.
641
00:46:43,640 --> 00:46:49,040
I've always wanted to have a place where musicians
could come and jam and get much love.
642
00:46:49,280 --> 00:46:52,080
So I want you to give it up for Betty!
643
00:46:53,760 --> 00:46:57,640
Give it up! Givin' it up for Kit Porter,
does she know how to throw a party or what!
644
00:49:31,040 --> 00:49:32,920
You know, when I was a kid and I -
645
00:49:33,160 --> 00:49:36,120
I saw you on stage, I thought,
"That's my sister,
646
00:49:36,360 --> 00:49:37,960
...she can do anything."
647
00:49:38,640 --> 00:49:40,440
I feel like that right now.
648
00:49:52,800 --> 00:49:56,120
I have a confession to make.
Kit Porter is my idol.
649
00:49:56,360 --> 00:49:58,080
And to be standing here on her stage
650
00:49:58,320 --> 00:50:01,600
after growing up, listening to her music, is -
it's like a dream come true.
651
00:50:02,360 --> 00:50:05,440
Kit? Kit Porter, will you please come up
and sing here with us?
652
00:50:05,680 --> 00:50:06,840
Come on
653
00:51:41,760 --> 00:51:43,360
Would you like to get out of here?
654
00:51:51,720 --> 00:51:55,240
Yeah, I do. But, um, I'm actually still working.
655
00:51:55,760 --> 00:51:58,360
So, maybe we can do it some other time?
656
00:51:59,080 --> 00:52:00,520
- Yeah, I would like that.
- Yeah?
657
00:53:27,521 --> 00:53:28,521
Tina...
658
00:54:33,800 --> 00:54:36,240
Thanks to Steph from www.thelwordsite.tk
for the transcript.
659
00:54:36,480 --> 00:54:39,040
Subing : Ally, Benouchette et Alucardo
www.forom.com
50208
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