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1
00:00:10,910 --> 00:00:14,714
I can't believe I have to
read news about myself...
2
00:00:16,716 --> 00:00:18,317
And now, News Headline!
3
00:00:19,185 --> 00:00:21,387
Rumors are circulating that the lovely swords woman A sun a
(age 17), SUDDEN MARRIAGE FOR K.O.T.B.O. VICE COMMANDER™?!
4
00:00:21,387 --> 00:00:24,657
The vice commander of the Knights of the Blood Oath,
SUDDEN MARRIAGE FOR K.O.T.B.O. VICE COMMANDER™?!
5
00:00:24,657 --> 00:00:27,159
AKA "Lightning Flash,"” has gotten married.
SUDDEN MARRIAGE FOR K.O.T.B.O. VICE COMMANDER™?!
6
00:00:27,159 --> 00:00:27,860
SUDDEN MARRIAGE FOR
K.O.T.B.O. VICE COMMANDER?!
7
00:00:27,860 --> 00:00:31,931
Her rumored marriage partner is the dual-wielding
Kirito, SUDDEN MARRIAGE FOR K.O.T.B.O. VICE COMMANDER™?!
8
00:00:31,931 --> 00:00:35,568
Who recently joined the Knights of the Blood Oath.
SUDDEN MARRIAGE FOR K.O.T.B.O. VICE COMMANDER™?!
9
00:00:35,568 --> 00:00:36,469
SUDDEN MARRIAGE FOR
K.O.T.B.O. VICE COMMANDER?!
10
00:00:36,469 --> 00:00:39,805
According to insiders, both have taken a temporary
SUDDEN MARRIAGE FOR K.O.T.B.O. VICE COMMANDER™?!
11
00:00:39,805 --> 00:00:43,843
leave of absence from the guild and have not been heard
from since. SUDDEN MARRIAGE FOR K.O.T.B.O. VICE COMMANDER™?!
12
00:00:43,843 --> 00:00:44,911
SUDDEN MARRIAGE FOR
K.O.T.B.O. VICE COMMANDER?!
13
00:00:44,911 --> 00:00:48,714
Fans of the wildly popular A sun a cannot hide their
concern SUDDEN MARRIAGE FOR K.O.T.B.O. VICE COMMANDER™?!
14
00:00:48,714 --> 00:00:51,417
Over the rumors of her marriage. SUDDEN
MARRIAGE FOR K.O.T.B.O. VICE COMMANDER™?!
15
00:00:51,417 --> 00:00:56,656
In addition, unverified reports have come in that they already
have a child, SUDDEN MARRIAGE FOR K.O.T.B.O. VICE COMMANDER™?!
16
00:00:56,656 --> 00:01:00,560
And should they prove true, it will send shock waves throughout
Aincrad. SUDDEN MARRIAGE FOR K.O.T.B.O. VICE COMMANDER™?!
17
00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:01,394
SUDDEN MARRIAGE FOR
K.O.T.B.O. VICE COMMANDER?!
18
00:01:01,394 --> 00:01:02,862
This has been News Headlines. SUDDEN
MARRIAGE FOR K.O.T.B.O. VICE COMMANDER?!
19
00:01:02,862 --> 00:01:03,763
This has been News Headlines.
20
00:01:06,265 --> 00:01:11,237
SWORD ART OFFLINE
(tacitly) Approved by Reki Kawahara
21
00:01:12,538 --> 00:01:15,841
Hello, everyone. It's now time for
Sword Art Offline.
22
00:01:16,075 --> 00:01:17,310
I'm your host, A sun a.
23
00:01:17,610 --> 00:01:19,579
And I'm your commentator, Kirito.
24
00:01:19,679 --> 00:01:22,982
This is an info-variety show
that will bring you news
25
00:01:23,082 --> 00:01:25,451
on everything that's
happening in Aincrad.
26
00:01:26,018 --> 00:01:30,222
We'll be bringing you big-name guests every
episode, so please look forward to them.
27
00:01:31,457 --> 00:01:34,093
Rumors sure spread quickly,
don't they, Kirito?
28
00:01:34,260 --> 00:01:38,164
I can't believe they're saying
that we have a kid...
29
00:01:38,864 --> 00:01:41,767
If they thought about it,
they'd figure out that
30
00:01:41,867 --> 00:01:45,104
there's no system for
making babies in this game.
31
00:01:45,237 --> 00:01:50,209
But there's an "Ethics Code: Off"
setting that isn't in the manual,
32
00:01:50,509 --> 00:01:53,012
s0 maybe there's a
way to make babies.
33
00:01:53,379 --> 00:01:56,148
Still, that would be a bit--
34
00:01:57,917 --> 00:02:00,519
No, knowing Kayaba,
35
00:02:00,620 --> 00:02:04,090
I wouldn't be surprised if he
snuck in a childbirth system.
36
00:02:04,323 --> 00:02:06,125
Say, Kirito...
37
00:02:06,225 --> 00:02:10,429
If there were a childbirth system,
how many kids would you want?
38
00:02:11,530 --> 00:02:14,967
I'd want to have
lots of your babies!
39
00:02:15,534 --> 00:02:19,972
Wouldn't it be fun for us all
to party up and raid together?
40
00:02:20,039 --> 00:02:22,008
You want that many?
41
00:02:22,441 --> 00:02:24,710
Would we be able to
look after them all?
42
00:02:24,810 --> 00:02:26,078
We can do it!
43
00:02:26,178 --> 00:02:29,248
They're our kids, after all!
They'll turn out great!
44
00:02:30,483 --> 00:02:34,153
If they took after you,
they'd be total tomboys.
45
00:02:34,253 --> 00:02:38,024
I'm not that bad a tomboy!
I'm ladylike!
46
00:02:38,224 --> 00:02:42,695
A lady doesn't draw her sword
all the time.
47
00:02:42,795 --> 00:02:45,531
Kirito, you're so mean!
48
00:02:47,366 --> 00:02:52,038
Kirito, I hope we get to have a talk
like this in the real world.
49
00:02:52,705 --> 00:02:53,973
Me, too.
50
00:02:54,073 --> 00:02:59,512
Excuse me? Could we drop the lovey-dovey
stuff and get on with the show, please?
51
00:02:59,612 --> 00:03:04,250
S-Sorry about that! Without further ado,
let's get Sword Art Offline started!
52
00:03:04,350 --> 00:03:06,552
SWORD ART OFFLINE
(tacitly) Approved by Reki Kawahara
53
00:03:07,553 --> 00:03:08,688
Trivia Master:
Heath cliff
54
00:03:08,688 --> 00:03:13,693
Trivia Masten: Heath cliff Since Yui is today's
guest, I shall be your trivia provider in her stead.
55
00:03:13,693 --> 00:03:14,794
Trivia Master:
Heath cliff
56
00:03:14,794 --> 00:03:18,597
Trivia Master: Heath cliff On the
topic of the Aincrad Liberation Army,
57
00:03:18,597 --> 00:03:21,267
Trivia Master: Heath cliff they
are the largest guild in Aincrad.
58
00:03:21,267 --> 00:03:21,801
Trivia Master:
Heath cliff
59
00:03:21,801 --> 00:03:26,572
Trivia Master: Heath cliff While suppressing criminal
activity in the field and maintaining law and order,
60
00:03:26,572 --> 00:03:31,077
Trivia Masten: Heath cliff they are also notorious
for "grief ing," such as camping mob spawns.
61
00:03:31,077 --> 00:03:35,181
Trivia Master: Heath cliff For good or ill, it
cannot be doubted that they are an influential guild.
62
00:03:35,181 --> 00:03:35,681
Trivia Master:
Heath cliff
63
00:03:35,681 --> 00:03:38,617
Trivia Master: Heath cliff
This has been Sword Art Trivia.
64
00:03:39,418 --> 00:03:45,124
PLAYBACK CORNER
65
00:03:46,759 --> 00:03:51,497
In this segment, we select
various scenes from episodes
66
00:03:51,597 --> 00:03:55,935
included on the Blu-ray and DVD and
comment on them along with our guest.
67
00:03:56,736 --> 00:03:59,705
And without further ado,
let's introduce today's guest!
68
00:04:00,005 --> 00:04:01,440
Here she is!
Come on out!
69
00:04:01,907 --> 00:04:03,476
Mysterious Girl: Yui
Daddy! Mommy!
70
00:04:03,476 --> 00:04:05,478
Mysterious Girl: Yui
Yui! Welcome to the show!
71
00:04:05,478 --> 00:04:06,245
Mysterious Girl: Yui
Yui! I'm glad you could make it!
72
00:04:06,245 --> 00:04:08,114
Yui! I'm glad you could make it!
73
00:04:08,214 --> 00:04:12,618
Yui is a little girl we
encountered on floor 22.
74
00:04:12,985 --> 00:04:16,822
She has no memory and doesn't
even remember her parents,
75
00:04:16,922 --> 00:04:19,458
so she calls us
Daddy and Mommy.
76
00:04:19,992 --> 00:04:23,395
I have Daddy and Mommy,
so I don't feel lonely.
77
00:04:23,496 --> 00:04:26,799
You don't, huh?
You're such a big girl, Yui.
78
00:04:28,267 --> 00:04:31,203
And now, let's begin
the playback!
79
00:04:31,604 --> 00:04:33,739
First up is this scene.
80
00:04:35,941 --> 00:04:38,677
Hey, say something...
You lagging?
81
00:04:42,281 --> 00:04:44,250
H-Hello, my name is K-Klein!
82
00:04:44,350 --> 00:04:46,819
I'm 24, single,
and looking for a girlfriend--
83
00:04:47,153 --> 00:04:50,256
Does this man like Mommy?
84
00:04:50,489 --> 00:04:55,161
I'd say it's more a case of him
liking anything that's female.
85
00:04:56,028 --> 00:04:58,964
So... He would like me, too?
86
00:04:59,064 --> 00:05:02,401
If he made a move on you,
I'd knock him on his ass.
87
00:05:02,635 --> 00:05:05,371
Kirito, you're such a kidder!
88
00:05:05,471 --> 00:05:07,640
Okay, next up is this scene!
89
00:05:14,780 --> 00:05:16,282
Daddy, you're so cool!
90
00:05:16,382 --> 00:05:20,286
Pretty awesome, huh?
That's my finishing move.
91
00:05:20,719 --> 00:05:25,057
It's a high-level, dual-blade style
where you use both swords
92
00:05:25,124 --> 00:05:27,393
to nail your opponent
with a 16-hit combo!
93
00:05:27,493 --> 00:05:30,930
It's called the "Starburst Stream."”
94
00:05:31,030 --> 00:05:34,700
Using that will make quick work
of most monsters.
95
00:05:34,800 --> 00:05:38,671
But I know one opponent
you can't beat, Daddy.
96
00:05:38,771 --> 00:05:40,973
Was there somebody like that?
97
00:05:41,073 --> 00:05:42,975
Yep! This person!
98
00:05:44,310 --> 00:05:46,278
You dummy!
99
00:05:47,279 --> 00:05:49,515
Yeah, I'm no match against this...
100
00:05:49,782 --> 00:05:51,684
Hey! What do you
mean by "this"?
101
00:05:51,784 --> 00:05:53,285
I meant--
102
00:05:53,385 --> 00:05:56,956
Huh? Why are you
naked here, Mommy?
103
00:05:57,056 --> 00:06:01,293
H-Hang on, Yui! Let's move on
to the next clip, shall we?!
104
00:06:01,994 --> 00:06:04,196
Hey! Carry me
on your shoulders!
105
00:06:04,330 --> 00:06:06,065
C-Carry you?
106
00:06:06,165 --> 00:06:10,536
It's no fun always seeing things
from the same height...
107
00:06:10,636 --> 00:06:13,405
With your STR parameter,
it should be easy, right?
108
00:06:13,873 --> 00:06:18,510
Oh, I know this one! It's called
a "pair of love turds," isn't it?
109
00:06:18,744 --> 00:06:20,112
Yui!
110
00:06:20,212 --> 00:06:22,081
Where did you learn that word?!
111
00:06:22,348 --> 00:06:25,484
Well, um, I learned it from that
man with the scruffy beard
112
00:06:25,584 --> 00:06:29,421
and cloth around his head
who was in that other clip.
113
00:06:30,055 --> 00:06:31,924
Klein...
114
00:06:32,024 --> 00:06:35,160
We'll have to teach him some
manners after this is over.
115
00:06:35,561 --> 00:06:38,464
Daddy? Mommy? What's wrong?
116
00:06:38,564 --> 00:06:42,468
Nothing. It's nothing you
need to worry about, Yui.
117
00:06:42,968 --> 00:06:45,638
This has been Playback Corner!
118
00:06:45,738 --> 00:06:48,540
SWORD ART OFFLINE
(tacitly) Approved by Reki Kawahara
119
00:06:48,941 --> 00:06:50,075
Trivia Master:
Heath cliff
120
00:06:50,075 --> 00:06:54,980
Trivia Master: Heath cliff In Sword Art Online, even if
one loses a body part by having an arm or leg cut off,
121
00:06:54,980 --> 00:06:57,349
Trivia Master: Heath cliff will automatically
regenerate in a matter of minutes.
122
00:06:57,349 --> 00:06:57,883
Trivia Master:
Heath cliff
123
00:06:57,883 --> 00:07:01,687
Trivia Master: Heath cliff Kirito, such
reckless behavior would cost you your life
124
00:07:01,687 --> 00:07:05,291
Trivia Master: Heath cliff in the real
world, so do try to be careful, won't you??
125
00:07:05,291 --> 00:07:05,791
Trivia Master:
Heath cliff
126
00:07:05,791 --> 00:07:08,427
Trivia Master: Heath cliff
This has been Sword Art Trivia.
127
00:07:09,528 --> 00:07:15,034
KLEIN'S LIFE-COACHING CORNER
128
00:07:16,368 --> 00:07:20,539
In this segment, Klein will solve
the problems of various people
129
00:07:20,639 --> 00:07:24,143
who live in the world
of Sword Art Online.
130
00:07:24,777 --> 00:07:28,714
But for today only, it will be
Yui's Question Corner!
131
00:07:28,881 --> 00:07:32,785
The setup's different, but I'll answer
all the questions for sure this time!
132
00:07:32,885 --> 00:07:35,788
Don't put any weird ideas
into Yui's head.
133
00:07:36,322 --> 00:07:38,590
Hello, Uncle Klein!
134
00:07:38,691 --> 00:07:40,359
Hi there, Yui!
135
00:07:40,459 --> 00:07:42,561
Ask me anything you want today!
136
00:07:42,661 --> 00:07:47,132
Also, I'm a big brother, not an uncle. Okay?
137
00:07:47,232 --> 00:07:49,702
Okay, Big Brother Klein!
138
00:07:49,868 --> 00:07:52,137
That's the face of a "big brother"?
139
00:07:52,237 --> 00:07:54,807
Bite me!
Keep quiet, married guy.
140
00:07:55,708 --> 00:07:58,577
So, Yui, what would you
like to ask?
141
00:07:58,978 --> 00:08:03,782
Earlier, Mommy said that she wants
to have lots of babies.
142
00:08:03,882 --> 00:08:07,052
How are babies made?
143
00:08:08,721 --> 00:08:13,726
Oh, crap... I can't believe she
decided to ask that question.
144
00:08:14,727 --> 00:08:18,130
A sun a, how do you want
to handle this?
145
00:08:18,230 --> 00:08:19,465
Me?!
146
00:08:19,965 --> 00:08:24,970
Um, Yui... To make a baby, you first have
to find a setting labeled "Ethics Code: Off"
147
00:08:25,070 --> 00:08:28,040
deep down in the
Options Menu, and then...
148
00:08:28,107 --> 00:08:31,577
Stop! Stop! What are you trying
to teach her, A sun a?!
149
00:08:31,677 --> 00:08:33,145
S-Sorry!
150
00:08:33,979 --> 00:08:37,416
Look, Yui. Here's how
babies are made.
151
00:08:37,549 --> 00:08:42,221
When you get married, it triggers an
event where a stork brings a baby.
152
00:08:42,488 --> 00:08:46,859
Where does the stork
get the babies?
153
00:08:46,959 --> 00:08:48,961
From a cabbage patch!
154
00:08:49,161 --> 00:08:52,765
Babies pop out of cabbage!
155
00:08:52,898 --> 00:08:58,904
Then... Am I also a cabbage baby
who came out of a cabbage?
156
00:09:00,372 --> 00:09:03,075
No, um... That is, you...
157
00:09:03,175 --> 00:09:07,479
Kirito, I think we might be better off
starting from disabling off the Ethics Code.
158
00:09:07,579 --> 00:09:10,649
A sun a, would you please drop
the Ethics Code thing?!
159
00:09:10,716 --> 00:09:15,120
No, we're all cabbage people.
160
00:09:15,921 --> 00:09:18,157
That works.
161
00:09:19,158 --> 00:09:21,560
And that's your answer, Yui.
162
00:09:21,660 --> 00:09:24,229
Okay! I understand now!
163
00:09:24,296 --> 00:09:26,698
Is there anything else
you want to ask?
164
00:09:26,799 --> 00:09:33,906
Um, earlier, when I went into the forest
with Mommy, we found a strange pond!
165
00:09:34,006 --> 00:09:36,875
Big Brother Klein, have
you seen one before?
166
00:09:36,975 --> 00:09:40,112
A strange pond? Strange how?
167
00:09:40,212 --> 00:09:44,349
Well, it was warm and all bubbly.
168
00:09:44,450 --> 00:09:47,219
Oh, it must have been a hot spring.
169
00:09:47,352 --> 00:09:49,788
I even took a picture! See?
170
00:09:53,292 --> 00:09:54,660
That was a close call...
171
00:09:55,961 --> 00:09:58,130
- That was--
- Don't look!
172
00:09:59,231 --> 00:10:03,035
That was the Question Corner!
Now take that off the monitor!
173
00:10:03,135 --> 00:10:05,904
SWORD ART OFFLINE
(tacitly) Approved by Reki Kawahara
174
00:10:06,538 --> 00:10:08,774
The time has come
to say goodbye.
175
00:10:09,341 --> 00:10:12,845
Yui, how did you enjoy
your appearance here today?
176
00:10:12,945 --> 00:10:16,515
It was fun, having Daddy
and Mommy play with me.
177
00:10:16,615 --> 00:10:18,317
Can I come again?
178
00:10:18,383 --> 00:10:21,019
Sure, stop by anytime.
179
00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:23,622
See you later,
Big Brother Klein!
180
00:10:23,722 --> 00:10:26,091
Later, Yui. The next time
we see each other,
181
00:10:26,191 --> 00:10:30,129
I'd love it if you grew up
to be Asuna's size.
182
00:10:31,630 --> 00:10:35,400
I'll try real hard to
make my boobs bigger!
183
00:10:36,335 --> 00:10:38,203
No! Not that size!
184
00:10:38,303 --> 00:10:42,007
Klein? I'll thank you to not
teach our Yui weird things.
185
00:10:42,107 --> 00:10:44,610
No! She misunderstood me!
186
00:10:44,710 --> 00:10:48,614
Also... If you ever lay a hand
on Yui, you'll pay.
187
00:10:48,947 --> 00:10:51,984
Look, that's not the kind of
size I was talking about!
188
00:10:52,084 --> 00:10:57,523
Let's meet again in the next
Sword Art Online video!
189
00:10:57,523 --> 00:10:58,190
"Dial down the flirting"
190
00:10:58,190 --> 00:10:59,825
"Dial down the flirting"
Bye-bye!
191
00:11:00,826 --> 00:11:04,463
Sword Art Offline was brought to you
by the Knights of the Blood Oath,
192
00:11:04,563 --> 00:11:08,634
the mightiest of guilds, composed
of handpicked power players,
193
00:11:08,734 --> 00:11:12,171
aiming to beat floor 100
before anyone else!
16807
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