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1
00:00:04,272 --> 00:00:05,784
Hi, Myrna.
2
00:00:05,808 --> 00:00:06,840
Hi, Mr. M.
3
00:00:06,875 --> 00:00:09,009
How come you got a
sign on the front door...
4
00:00:09,044 --> 00:00:10,811
"Use the Service Door"?
5
00:00:10,846 --> 00:00:12,924
For the same reason
I'm typing in the kitchen.
6
00:00:12,948 --> 00:00:14,826
Felix shampooed
the rug; it's still wet.
7
00:00:14,850 --> 00:00:17,262
I can't even get to my
room. I'm a prisoner in here.
8
00:00:17,286 --> 00:00:18,484
Where do you go, uh...?
9
00:00:18,520 --> 00:00:20,364
I use the Benjamin" apartment.
10
00:00:20,388 --> 00:00:22,789
Here. Here's the first two
pages for the column, all right?
11
00:00:22,825 --> 00:00:24,825
I'll be finished with the
other one in a second.
12
00:00:26,211 --> 00:00:28,556
What's it about? Water polo?
13
00:00:28,580 --> 00:00:30,680
What's that magazine?
14
00:00:30,716 --> 00:00:33,027
Oh, it's your Playboy.
It came in the mail.
15
00:00:33,051 --> 00:00:34,217
Why'd you bring it here?
16
00:00:34,252 --> 00:00:35,397
So you could read it.
17
00:00:35,421 --> 00:00:37,454
I have it sent to the
office for a reason.
18
00:00:37,489 --> 00:00:39,333
Why? You're not married.
Will you listen to me?!
19
00:00:39,357 --> 00:00:41,758
If I have it sent to the
office that's what I want.
20
00:00:41,794 --> 00:00:42,821
Hi, folks.
21
00:00:42,845 --> 00:00:44,510
Hi, Myrna.
22
00:00:44,546 --> 00:00:45,690
Hi, Mr. Unger.
23
00:00:45,714 --> 00:00:47,391
Why doesn't he want
this in the house?
24
00:00:47,415 --> 00:00:49,582
What? Why doesn't he want what?
25
00:00:49,617 --> 00:00:50,783
What have you got here?
26
00:00:52,487 --> 00:00:53,854
This.
27
00:01:36,949 --> 00:01:39,882
♪ ♪
28
00:02:12,017 --> 00:02:13,950
♪ ♪
29
00:02:26,080 --> 00:02:29,015
The Odd Couple was filmed
in front of a live audience.
30
00:02:33,922 --> 00:02:36,222
I told you I never want
that rag in this house.
31
00:02:36,257 --> 00:02:38,257
I tried to warn
her, it was too late.
32
00:02:38,293 --> 00:02:39,737
What have you got
against the magazine?
33
00:02:39,761 --> 00:02:40,761
Everything!
34
00:02:41,897 --> 00:02:43,841
Never bring it back here
again, do you understand that?
35
00:02:43,865 --> 00:02:45,543
I didn't bring it in. Do
you understand me?
36
00:02:45,567 --> 00:02:47,834
Holler at her. I
didn't bring it in.
37
00:02:47,869 --> 00:02:49,736
Hey, look what I
found in the hall.
38
00:02:51,940 --> 00:02:53,506
Hubba-hubba-hubba.
39
00:02:53,542 --> 00:02:54,841
Very nice.
40
00:02:54,876 --> 00:02:56,309
A policeman on duty.
41
00:02:56,344 --> 00:02:59,211
Hey, finders keepers,
losers weepers.
42
00:02:59,247 --> 00:03:01,548
Don't forget, the floor's wet.
43
00:03:02,918 --> 00:03:06,018
Boy, after all the times I
let him ride in my squad car.
44
00:03:06,054 --> 00:03:08,198
Next time he sits
behind the cage.
45
00:03:08,222 --> 00:03:09,967
What has he got
against the magazine?
46
00:03:09,991 --> 00:03:12,742
Oh, it goes way back to when
I used to work for Playboy.
47
00:03:12,795 --> 00:03:14,544
How come you got fired?
48
00:03:14,580 --> 00:03:16,474
What makes you
think I got fired?
49
00:03:16,498 --> 00:03:19,032
Who would quit?
50
00:03:20,068 --> 00:03:23,169
Murray, you kill me.
51
00:03:23,205 --> 00:03:25,200
That was my first
job in New York.
52
00:03:25,224 --> 00:03:27,101
I used to write copy
and things like that.
53
00:03:27,125 --> 00:03:28,725
The magazine was just beginning,
54
00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:30,838
but Felix couldn't get started
as a photographer, see.
55
00:03:30,862 --> 00:03:32,073
He wanted to marry Gloria,
56
00:03:32,097 --> 00:03:33,697
but he couldn't
get enough money.
57
00:03:33,732 --> 00:03:36,315
This is gonna be a
long story, Murray.
58
00:03:36,351 --> 00:03:38,084
Maybe you'll like it.
59
00:03:38,119 --> 00:03:40,619
Anyway, one night he
came to the apartment.
60
00:03:40,655 --> 00:03:42,922
That's when it really
was my apartment.
61
00:03:42,958 --> 00:03:45,691
Oh, it had that
nice lived-in look...
62
00:03:45,727 --> 00:03:47,271
Jump shot.
63
00:03:47,295 --> 00:03:49,729
It's good. Ties
up the ball game.
64
00:03:49,764 --> 00:03:51,797
Who is it?
65
00:03:51,833 --> 00:03:53,233
Felix.
66
00:03:53,268 --> 00:03:54,846
Oh, am I glad you
came by, buddy.
67
00:03:54,870 --> 00:03:56,790
You're just the
guy I want to see.
68
00:03:59,157 --> 00:04:00,856
That bad, huh?
69
00:04:00,892 --> 00:04:04,327
Oscar, Oscar, Oscar.
70
00:04:04,362 --> 00:04:05,795
No luck again today?
71
00:04:05,830 --> 00:04:07,130
I got one call.
72
00:04:07,182 --> 00:04:12,052
An old lady wanted me to
photograph her parakeet Winky.
73
00:04:12,087 --> 00:04:13,820
I said yes.
74
00:04:13,855 --> 00:04:16,489
Then she told me she
wouldn't be able to pay me.
75
00:04:16,524 --> 00:04:20,493
She said she'd knit me an
afghan, any color I chose.
76
00:04:20,528 --> 00:04:21,695
I even agreed to that.
77
00:04:21,730 --> 00:04:24,197
Then she said it would
take over a year and a half
78
00:04:24,232 --> 00:04:26,900
because of her arthritis.
79
00:04:26,935 --> 00:04:28,902
I don't know, I
may turn it down.
80
00:04:30,572 --> 00:04:33,406
I'm tellin' you, turn it down.
81
00:04:35,977 --> 00:04:37,677
I need the sweater.
82
00:04:37,713 --> 00:04:41,748
Black... to match my future.
83
00:04:41,783 --> 00:04:43,728
I'm never gonna have
enough money to marry Gloria.
84
00:04:43,752 --> 00:04:44,951
Sure, you are.
85
00:04:44,986 --> 00:04:46,964
I'm trying to tell you,
your troubles are over.
86
00:04:46,988 --> 00:04:48,187
I got you a job today.
87
00:04:48,223 --> 00:04:49,055
Really? Yeah.
88
00:04:49,091 --> 00:04:50,039
Where?! Wh-What...?!
89
00:04:50,074 --> 00:04:51,085
Tell me... Playboy magazine.
90
00:04:51,109 --> 00:04:52,309
The same one I'm working for.
91
00:04:52,343 --> 00:04:53,554
I showed the art
director your pictures.
92
00:04:53,578 --> 00:04:55,044
I want to tell you, he flipped.
93
00:04:55,097 --> 00:04:57,275
He said you're very
talented. I am. I'm really good.
94
00:04:57,299 --> 00:04:59,132
Oscar, oh, you're
such a good friend.
95
00:04:59,167 --> 00:05:02,569
Thank you, Oscar. Thank
you. You don't have to thank me.
96
00:05:02,604 --> 00:05:04,082
It was your pictures
that convinced him.
97
00:05:04,106 --> 00:05:05,149
Really? Yeah.
98
00:05:05,173 --> 00:05:06,872
My talent got me the job.
99
00:05:06,908 --> 00:05:10,088
I don't have to thank you. Yes,
you do, I also got Gloria a job.
100
00:05:10,112 --> 00:05:11,077
Doing what?
101
00:05:11,113 --> 00:05:12,078
Cocktail waitress.
102
00:05:12,114 --> 00:05:14,047
Cocktail waitress?
103
00:05:14,082 --> 00:05:15,793
Well, it's at Hugh
Hefner's club.
104
00:05:15,817 --> 00:05:17,161
The magazine has its own club.
105
00:05:17,185 --> 00:05:18,501
I mean, it's a classy joint.
106
00:05:18,537 --> 00:05:19,869
Well, but tell me about me.
107
00:05:19,905 --> 00:05:21,933
What do I do? When do I
start? You start right away.
108
00:05:21,957 --> 00:05:23,801
You have to do some
tests for Miss April.
109
00:05:23,825 --> 00:05:25,124
I don't understand.
110
00:05:25,160 --> 00:05:27,626
Well, you-you take pictures of
six nudes and they choose one
111
00:05:27,662 --> 00:05:29,324
to be Miss April in
the centerfold, see?
112
00:05:29,348 --> 00:05:30,980
Nudie cuties?
113
00:05:31,016 --> 00:05:33,828
You're not gonna be
nervous about that, are you?
114
00:05:33,852 --> 00:05:35,518
No, not nervous.
115
00:05:35,554 --> 00:05:39,288
Listen, you know me...
Easy Unger, Mr. Party Guy.
116
00:05:39,324 --> 00:05:41,202
You're Mr. Party Guy?
117
00:05:41,226 --> 00:05:44,227
I'm certainly not one of your
repressed Victorian squares.
118
00:05:44,262 --> 00:05:46,129
I'm an artist. I hang loose.
119
00:05:46,164 --> 00:05:47,675
Oh, you shot nudes
before then, huh?
120
00:05:47,699 --> 00:05:48,764
Millions.
121
00:05:48,817 --> 00:05:51,318
Oh, well, come on, let's
go out and celebrate, huh?
122
00:05:51,353 --> 00:05:52,730
I got a better idea. What?
123
00:05:52,754 --> 00:05:55,154
Let's do something really
great. Let's clean this room.
124
00:05:55,190 --> 00:05:57,168
Are you kidding? We're
gonna go out and celebrate.
125
00:05:57,192 --> 00:05:58,436
We're gonna go to the club.
126
00:05:58,460 --> 00:06:00,705
We're gonna drink a few
drinks. We're gonna see Gloria.
127
00:06:00,729 --> 00:06:01,839
We're gonna laugh a lot.
128
00:06:01,863 --> 00:06:03,196
It's gonna be a ball.
129
00:06:03,231 --> 00:06:05,391
You know, I like this
room better in the dark.
130
00:06:06,835 --> 00:06:08,346
Nice, huh?
131
00:06:08,370 --> 00:06:10,470
Yes. I must admit
I'm very impressed.
132
00:06:10,505 --> 00:06:12,450
This is very lovely,
indeed. Thank you...
133
00:06:12,474 --> 00:06:14,441
Hey... Felix, please.
134
00:06:14,476 --> 00:06:15,642
Only human.
135
00:06:15,677 --> 00:06:16,876
I know, I know. Sit down.
136
00:06:16,911 --> 00:06:18,589
It's a very, very
pleasant place.
137
00:06:18,613 --> 00:06:20,391
I'm glad Gloria
has such a nice job.
138
00:06:20,415 --> 00:06:22,248
Good. That's why I
wanted you to see it.
139
00:06:22,283 --> 00:06:24,984
Hello, I'm your bunny, Gloria.
140
00:06:25,020 --> 00:06:25,985
Gloria!
141
00:06:26,021 --> 00:06:27,487
Oh, Felix.
142
00:06:27,522 --> 00:06:29,389
Shame, shame, Gloria!
143
00:06:29,424 --> 00:06:31,557
Naughty, naughty
Gloria! Cover your...!
144
00:06:31,592 --> 00:06:33,125
Felix, please.
145
00:06:33,161 --> 00:06:35,706
Would you explain... these
are my working clothes?
146
00:06:35,730 --> 00:06:37,864
Yeah, that's part
of her costume.
147
00:06:37,899 --> 00:06:39,777
I think she looks
kinda cute. Oh, you do?
148
00:06:39,801 --> 00:06:41,601
Don't look like that.
Don't... Oh, come on...
149
00:06:41,636 --> 00:06:43,247
Oh, Gloria, what
have they done to you?
150
00:06:43,271 --> 00:06:45,215
You look so brazen,
so seductive. Sit down!
151
00:06:45,239 --> 00:06:46,984
Felix! She looks like
everybody else in this club.
152
00:06:47,008 --> 00:06:48,786
All the girls you admired
on the way to the table.
153
00:06:48,810 --> 00:06:50,587
Don't compare my
Gloria to those animals.
154
00:06:50,611 --> 00:06:53,724
Sit down so they don't... Felix,
please, I have got to get back to work.
155
00:06:53,748 --> 00:06:56,282
Come on, will ya? You weren't
upset by the other Bunnies.
156
00:06:56,317 --> 00:06:57,695
I'm not engaged to
the other Bunnies.
157
00:06:57,719 --> 00:06:59,063
I hate this place!
I hate it! Shh!
158
00:06:59,087 --> 00:07:00,407
All right, all
right, you hate it.
159
00:07:02,274 --> 00:07:03,239
Handle it tactfully...
160
00:07:03,275 --> 00:07:05,835
You watch yourself, pervert!
161
00:07:07,546 --> 00:07:09,490
Gloria, I want you to quit this
job! Felix, you're making a scene...
162
00:07:09,514 --> 00:07:10,991
I want you to get
out of here right this...
163
00:07:11,015 --> 00:07:12,993
I can't. What can I...
What can I tell them?
164
00:07:13,017 --> 00:07:14,061
Just tell them
your hop went bad.
165
00:07:14,085 --> 00:07:15,263
I don't care what you tell 'em.
166
00:07:15,287 --> 00:07:16,798
Turn in your tail. Get
out of here. Come on.
167
00:07:16,822 --> 00:07:19,522
Please, I've got
to get back to work.
168
00:07:19,557 --> 00:07:20,835
I'm gonna lose my mind.
169
00:07:20,859 --> 00:07:22,470
I'm going to work for
this organization, huh?
170
00:07:22,494 --> 00:07:24,861
All you have to
do is do a good job,
171
00:07:24,896 --> 00:07:27,056
get successful, marry
Gloria, then she'll quit.
172
00:07:28,133 --> 00:07:29,477
Does she have to bend over
173
00:07:29,501 --> 00:07:31,601
so much when she serves?
174
00:07:31,636 --> 00:07:34,837
Gloria, do you have to bend
all the way over like this?
175
00:07:34,873 --> 00:07:37,433
Can't you go like
this or like this?
176
00:07:39,377 --> 00:07:41,288
Let me tell you something.
I'm sorry I got you this job.
177
00:07:41,312 --> 00:07:43,290
If you don't like it,
why don't you quit?
178
00:07:43,314 --> 00:07:44,375
'Cause I need the job.
179
00:07:44,399 --> 00:07:46,032
You can't have it both ways.
180
00:07:46,068 --> 00:07:48,034
All right, I'm adjusting.
181
00:07:48,070 --> 00:07:49,769
Good. I'm fine, I'm fine.
182
00:07:49,804 --> 00:07:51,237
We'll order champagne
183
00:07:51,273 --> 00:07:53,151
and toast New York's
best young photographer.
184
00:07:53,175 --> 00:07:54,335
Spencer Benedict.
185
00:07:54,359 --> 00:07:55,708
Who's that?
186
00:07:55,744 --> 00:07:57,588
That's me. You don't
think I'm gonna use
187
00:07:57,612 --> 00:07:59,972
my real name for nudies, do you?
188
00:08:01,432 --> 00:08:03,432
Eyes front, Mister.
189
00:08:08,606 --> 00:08:10,740
That's very nice.
190
00:08:10,775 --> 00:08:13,976
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
that looks just lovely.
191
00:08:14,012 --> 00:08:15,255
That's just perfect. Perfect.
192
00:08:15,279 --> 00:08:16,846
Now, could you make the poses
193
00:08:16,881 --> 00:08:18,159
just a little bit
more languorous,
194
00:08:18,183 --> 00:08:19,315
you know what I mean?
195
00:08:19,350 --> 00:08:20,717
A little more...
196
00:08:20,752 --> 00:08:22,563
Put your hand behind
your head like...
197
00:08:22,587 --> 00:08:23,986
Oh, come on, will you, Felix?!
198
00:08:24,022 --> 00:08:25,621
I'm only trying to
help with the lights.
199
00:08:25,656 --> 00:08:27,234
Oh, but you're
good, you're good.
200
00:08:27,258 --> 00:08:28,791
Aw, cut it out. Will ya?
201
00:08:28,827 --> 00:08:30,137
You're helping me, no, no.
202
00:08:30,161 --> 00:08:31,939
I really don't
understand you. Why?
203
00:08:31,963 --> 00:08:35,297
In a few minutes you're gonna
be shooting six beautiful girls nude.
204
00:08:35,333 --> 00:08:36,498
You're cool as a cucumber.
205
00:08:36,534 --> 00:08:38,412
Well, this is my
job. I'm like a doctor.
206
00:08:38,436 --> 00:08:39,814
Just technical problems to me...
207
00:08:39,838 --> 00:08:41,415
The color, the
composition and all that.
208
00:08:41,439 --> 00:08:42,850
Well, Oscar... Yeah?
209
00:08:42,874 --> 00:08:44,518
I want to thank you
very, very much.
210
00:08:44,542 --> 00:08:46,320
You've been very kind
to lend me your pad.
211
00:08:46,344 --> 00:08:47,554
They didn't want a studio job.
212
00:08:47,578 --> 00:08:49,056
They wanted this.
It's just right, so...
213
00:08:49,080 --> 00:08:50,524
The girls are gonna be here soon
214
00:08:50,548 --> 00:08:52,426
so I think the time has
come when you should...
215
00:08:52,450 --> 00:08:53,415
What's the matter?
216
00:08:53,451 --> 00:08:55,351
Oh, boy, oh, I
got a sore throat.
217
00:08:55,386 --> 00:08:56,819
I tell you it's moist out there.
218
00:08:56,855 --> 00:08:58,032
Throat, my foot.
219
00:08:58,056 --> 00:08:59,566
I know what you
want, you dirty guy.
220
00:08:59,590 --> 00:09:02,002
60% of showers, chance... You
want to stand around and ogle the girls.
221
00:09:02,026 --> 00:09:03,070
But, Felix... You can't do it.
222
00:09:03,094 --> 00:09:04,304
I'll be okay. No.
223
00:09:04,328 --> 00:09:05,873
I'll sit here, I'll behave.
I'll be fine, honestly.
224
00:09:05,897 --> 00:09:07,162
What am I gonna tell the girls?
225
00:09:07,198 --> 00:09:09,142
"Don't pay any attention
to that man in the corner,
226
00:09:09,166 --> 00:09:11,245
he's harmless, his tongue is
always hanging out like that"?
227
00:09:11,269 --> 00:09:12,780
They won't stand for that.
228
00:09:12,804 --> 00:09:14,203
Oh, come on.
229
00:09:14,239 --> 00:09:17,072
How often does a guy get a
chance to get in on the ground floor
230
00:09:17,108 --> 00:09:18,073
of something like this? No!
231
00:09:18,109 --> 00:09:19,453
Oh, I'll be the
boyfriend. The what?
232
00:09:19,477 --> 00:09:21,088
Whenever they do the
story about a Playmate,
233
00:09:21,112 --> 00:09:22,712
they always have
the boyfriend along.
234
00:09:22,747 --> 00:09:24,725
They're running together, they're skiing
together, play horseshoes together...
235
00:09:24,749 --> 00:09:26,827
You're gonna be the same
boyfriend for all six girls?
236
00:09:26,851 --> 00:09:28,895
They're only gonna pick one.
You're not the type for that.
237
00:09:28,919 --> 00:09:30,964
That's the swinging bachelor
type, suave, debonair.
238
00:09:30,988 --> 00:09:33,033
That's not... What
am I, chopped liver?
239
00:09:33,057 --> 00:09:34,022
At best.
240
00:09:34,058 --> 00:09:36,024
You never saw me in
my suave, debonair outfit.
241
00:09:36,060 --> 00:09:37,438
Come on, we're
going... out, out.
242
00:09:37,462 --> 00:09:39,362
Felix, I didn't want
to have to say this,
243
00:09:39,397 --> 00:09:41,464
but you see, if you
don't let me stay
244
00:09:41,499 --> 00:09:43,866
then I'm not gonna let you
use my apartment, see?
245
00:09:43,901 --> 00:09:44,912
Well put.
246
00:09:44,936 --> 00:09:45,902
Ah. You got it.
247
00:09:45,937 --> 00:09:47,581
Great. Now, what'll
I tell the girls?
248
00:09:47,605 --> 00:09:48,571
I don't know.
249
00:09:48,607 --> 00:09:50,184
You're here to
write the captions.
250
00:09:50,208 --> 00:09:51,886
She skis, she's a
philosophy major,
251
00:09:51,910 --> 00:09:53,337
she wants to be a policewoman...
252
00:09:53,361 --> 00:09:54,638
Typical girl next door.
253
00:09:54,662 --> 00:09:55,706
Oh!
254
00:09:55,730 --> 00:09:57,396
Okay. Would you get that?
255
00:09:59,267 --> 00:10:00,632
Hello.
256
00:10:00,668 --> 00:10:01,951
I'm Brenda Martin.
257
00:10:01,987 --> 00:10:04,720
Hello, Brenda Martin,
I'm Spencer Benedict.
258
00:10:04,755 --> 00:10:07,123
Now, you can go back
and change in just a minute.
259
00:10:07,158 --> 00:10:08,557
Tell me about yourself.
260
00:10:08,593 --> 00:10:11,022
Are you a dancer or are
you a model? I'm a dancer.
261
00:10:11,046 --> 00:10:12,211
Aha, good.
262
00:10:12,247 --> 00:10:14,247
Have you done this
kind of work bef...?
263
00:10:18,953 --> 00:10:20,536
Hello, my dear.
264
00:10:20,589 --> 00:10:21,754
Hello.
265
00:10:21,790 --> 00:10:23,355
I've got my eye on you.
266
00:10:25,660 --> 00:10:26,626
Thank you. Good night.
267
00:10:26,661 --> 00:10:28,294
Bye-bye.
268
00:10:29,698 --> 00:10:33,099
Will you tell me
what you're doing?
269
00:10:33,134 --> 00:10:35,546
What was all that... heel
clicking, the hand kissing?
270
00:10:35,570 --> 00:10:36,664
You told me to be a gentleman.
271
00:10:36,688 --> 00:10:39,521
Have you no
conscience whatsoever?
272
00:10:39,557 --> 00:10:41,601
Is there no end
to your chicanery?
273
00:10:41,625 --> 00:10:44,138
You told one girl you're
an exiled polo player.
274
00:10:44,162 --> 00:10:46,862
You told another you
lost your eye in a duel.
275
00:10:46,915 --> 00:10:49,798
You told that girl you're
a Romanian prince.
276
00:10:49,834 --> 00:10:51,478
Felix, you're not
gonna believe this...
277
00:10:51,502 --> 00:10:53,231
A lot of people take
me for Romanian.
278
00:10:53,255 --> 00:10:55,354
Yeah, pastrami lovers.
279
00:10:58,159 --> 00:10:59,459
That must be the sixth.
280
00:11:00,462 --> 00:11:01,627
Hello, my...
281
00:11:01,663 --> 00:11:03,441
Oh, hi, Gloria, come
on in. Hi, Oscar.
282
00:11:03,465 --> 00:11:04,708
Hi, Gloria. Come in. Hi, Felix.
283
00:11:04,732 --> 00:11:06,231
How'd you know I was here?
284
00:11:06,267 --> 00:11:08,211
This is where they said
you'd be working today.
285
00:11:08,235 --> 00:11:10,235
Yeah, well, we'll have
another hour or so.
286
00:11:10,271 --> 00:11:11,281
We have another girl coming.
287
00:11:11,305 --> 00:11:12,817
I know, I'm the other girl.
288
00:11:12,841 --> 00:11:14,217
I'm Romanian.
289
00:11:14,241 --> 00:11:16,108
I was wondering...
290
00:11:22,083 --> 00:11:23,882
I don't want to...
291
00:11:23,918 --> 00:11:24,962
You're shaming me!
292
00:11:24,986 --> 00:11:26,797
She's taking off her
clothes back there!
293
00:11:26,821 --> 00:11:28,153
I don't know what to do.
294
00:11:28,189 --> 00:11:30,656
She says if I don't take the
picture, somebody else will.
295
00:11:30,692 --> 00:11:31,735
When do we start?
296
00:11:31,759 --> 00:11:34,026
Oh come on, take
that idiot thing off.
297
00:11:34,061 --> 00:11:36,662
What am I supposed to do?
298
00:11:36,698 --> 00:11:38,748
I know... I'll use
photographic tricks.
299
00:11:38,800 --> 00:11:40,210
I'll superimpose the
Eiffel Tower over her
300
00:11:40,234 --> 00:11:41,768
and call her Miss
April in Paris.
301
00:11:41,803 --> 00:11:43,847
Why don't you shoot
her with all her clothes on
302
00:11:43,871 --> 00:11:45,388
and call it "April Fool"?
303
00:11:45,423 --> 00:11:46,600
I could make her Miss December.
304
00:11:46,624 --> 00:11:48,068
A Santa suit... She's
carrying the sack
305
00:11:48,092 --> 00:11:50,193
in front of her... Will
you stop being...?
306
00:11:50,228 --> 00:11:51,238
Felix, I'm ready.
I'm coming out.
307
00:11:51,262 --> 00:11:52,973
No, no, don't come
out. Not, not yet, not yet.
308
00:11:52,997 --> 00:11:54,474
Come on, out of here.
Come on. Let's go.
309
00:11:54,498 --> 00:11:56,343
What do you mean? I
live here. Out. Amscray.
310
00:11:56,367 --> 00:11:57,778
All right. Let me
change my jacket.
311
00:11:57,802 --> 00:11:59,580
You're not going back
there. Come on, get out.
312
00:11:59,604 --> 00:12:01,749
Why not? Felix, where am
I gonna go? I don't know.
313
00:12:01,773 --> 00:12:04,407
Wherever exiled, one-eyed
Romanian polo players go.
314
00:12:04,442 --> 00:12:05,674
All right.
315
00:12:05,709 --> 00:12:07,376
I'll go see half a movie.
316
00:12:09,613 --> 00:12:11,158
What are you doing here?
317
00:12:11,182 --> 00:12:12,315
I work here. Remember?
318
00:12:12,350 --> 00:12:13,549
What are you doing here?
319
00:12:13,584 --> 00:12:15,796
I'm supposed to meet
the art editor, Al Fisher,
320
00:12:15,820 --> 00:12:17,664
show him my pictures.
Hey, how'd they turn out?
321
00:12:17,688 --> 00:12:19,655
Nice, nice.
322
00:12:19,690 --> 00:12:20,818
And what about Gloria's shots?
323
00:12:20,842 --> 00:12:22,508
Overexposed.
324
00:12:22,544 --> 00:12:24,010
Hey, now, you didn't cop out
325
00:12:24,045 --> 00:12:25,656
with that April in
Paris bit, did you?
326
00:12:25,680 --> 00:12:26,757
No, she wouldn't let me.
327
00:12:26,781 --> 00:12:28,164
She's totally unencumbered.
328
00:12:28,216 --> 00:12:30,227
Oh, yeah? Let me
see. No. Fat chance!
329
00:12:30,251 --> 00:12:32,580
I'm not gonna use
Gloria, anyway. Why not?
330
00:12:32,604 --> 00:12:34,303
She's got a mole on her knee.
331
00:12:34,356 --> 00:12:36,200
Who cares about a
mole on her knee?
332
00:12:36,224 --> 00:12:37,439
They want them perfect.
333
00:12:37,475 --> 00:12:39,692
Oh, they don't want
'em that perfect. They...
334
00:12:39,728 --> 00:12:41,238
How are you? Oh,
hi, Al. Nice to see you.
335
00:12:41,262 --> 00:12:42,406
How are you? Nice seeing you.
336
00:12:42,430 --> 00:12:43,874
This is our art
director, Al Fisher.
337
00:12:43,898 --> 00:12:45,531
This is Felix Unger.
338
00:12:45,566 --> 00:12:47,277
How do you do?
How do you do? Hi.
339
00:12:47,301 --> 00:12:48,935
Sit, sit, sit.
340
00:12:48,970 --> 00:12:50,614
You got some pictures
for me, right? Yes, yes.
341
00:12:50,638 --> 00:12:52,282
There you are. Good,
good. Let me see.
342
00:12:52,306 --> 00:12:53,951
Sit back. Oh, come on.
343
00:12:53,975 --> 00:12:59,294
Nice, nice... Nice, nice, uh...
344
00:12:59,330 --> 00:13:00,358
Where's the sixth one?
345
00:13:00,382 --> 00:13:02,615
Sixth one? Oh, yeah, uh...
346
00:13:02,650 --> 00:13:04,478
You wouldn't like that
one. It turned out badly.
347
00:13:04,502 --> 00:13:06,364
Oh, I'll be the judge
of what is good.
348
00:13:06,388 --> 00:13:08,699
Felix, you contracted for
six. Give him six, will you?
349
00:13:08,723 --> 00:13:09,800
You're not gonna like it.
350
00:13:09,824 --> 00:13:11,390
It, it's no good, it's, uh,
351
00:13:11,426 --> 00:13:13,226
it's a total worthless waste.
352
00:13:13,261 --> 00:13:16,312
I was, I was going
to throw it away.
353
00:13:16,347 --> 00:13:17,980
Worthless?
354
00:13:18,015 --> 00:13:20,950
Well, we artists
always hide our failures.
355
00:13:24,822 --> 00:13:26,967
Will you sit back?
All right, just...
356
00:13:26,991 --> 00:13:28,023
She's beautiful.
357
00:13:28,058 --> 00:13:29,470
Let me look at her
in the light here.
358
00:13:29,494 --> 00:13:30,893
Here let me look at her, too.
359
00:13:30,928 --> 00:13:32,739
Will you bug off? Get
back, get back. Oh, come on.
360
00:13:32,763 --> 00:13:34,830
You too, mister, mind
your own business.
361
00:13:34,866 --> 00:13:36,894
I, I love that mole on her knee.
362
00:13:36,918 --> 00:13:38,061
Oh, yeah, let me see the mole.
363
00:13:38,085 --> 00:13:39,980
Go peddle your papers.
364
00:13:40,004 --> 00:13:42,471
Felix, this is Miss April.
365
00:13:42,507 --> 00:13:43,951
I, I think you're
making a mistake.
366
00:13:43,975 --> 00:13:45,069
I really do.
367
00:13:45,093 --> 00:13:46,803
I got another one
here that's really...
368
00:13:46,827 --> 00:13:48,561
All five are better,
as a matter of fact.
369
00:13:48,596 --> 00:13:50,074
Well, if you want a third
opinion, let me see...
370
00:13:50,098 --> 00:13:51,675
You're not going to see
this picture. Why not?
371
00:13:51,699 --> 00:13:53,444
Everybody's gonna see
it in April. No, they're not.
372
00:13:53,468 --> 00:13:54,978
You can't print this
picture. Why not?
373
00:13:55,002 --> 00:13:56,635
Because. Because why?
374
00:13:56,670 --> 00:14:00,072
Because... because it's a fake.
375
00:14:00,108 --> 00:14:01,251
This picture is actually
376
00:14:01,275 --> 00:14:04,243
of Oscar's doorman,
Bud Downey, yeah.
377
00:14:04,278 --> 00:14:06,323
It's amazing what you
can do with an air brush.
378
00:14:06,347 --> 00:14:07,657
I'm, I'm so ashamed of myself.
379
00:14:07,681 --> 00:14:08,992
Hey, come on,
give me Miss April.
380
00:14:09,016 --> 00:14:10,194
No, you're not
going to print that.
381
00:14:10,218 --> 00:14:11,861
No, you're not.
Over my dead body.
382
00:14:11,885 --> 00:14:13,202
You can torture me.
383
00:14:13,238 --> 00:14:15,204
You've got a
contract, Mr. Unger.
384
00:14:15,240 --> 00:14:16,706
I'm sorry.
385
00:14:16,741 --> 00:14:18,207
I'll sue you!
386
00:14:18,243 --> 00:14:20,509
I'll sue your head off!
387
00:14:21,746 --> 00:14:22,712
I will, too.
388
00:14:22,747 --> 00:14:24,046
I'll sue him.
389
00:14:24,081 --> 00:14:25,892
How're you gonna sue
him? It's a big corporation.
390
00:14:25,916 --> 00:14:28,229
They got the best lawyers in the
world. I'll get the biggest lawyer
391
00:14:28,253 --> 00:14:29,796
in the country, Melvin Belli.
392
00:14:29,820 --> 00:14:31,532
He's the only one who can
do it. He wouldn't touch it.
393
00:14:31,556 --> 00:14:33,234
Who needs him?
I'll do it myself.
394
00:14:33,258 --> 00:14:35,391
Felix, don't you understand
you don't have a case?
395
00:14:35,426 --> 00:14:36,859
Gloria wants the
picture printed.
396
00:14:36,894 --> 00:14:38,372
Oh, who listens
to anything a girl
397
00:14:38,396 --> 00:14:40,956
who walks around nude says?
398
00:14:41,649 --> 00:14:43,582
I always have.
399
00:14:50,658 --> 00:14:53,737
Be ready. I'm gonna put you on
the stand as a character witness.
400
00:14:53,761 --> 00:14:55,906
Order, please.
401
00:14:55,930 --> 00:14:58,242
The case of Felix Unger
402
00:14:58,266 --> 00:15:00,833
suing the Hugh
Hefner Corporation.
403
00:15:00,869 --> 00:15:03,564
Are you both
satisfied with the jury?
404
00:15:03,588 --> 00:15:05,554
We are, Your Honor.
405
00:15:05,590 --> 00:15:07,568
Eminently satisfied, Your Honor.
406
00:15:07,592 --> 00:15:09,235
Hi, Frank, how are you?
407
00:15:09,259 --> 00:15:12,695
Bob... And a big hello
408
00:15:12,730 --> 00:15:14,507
to Sister Evangeline
of the Salvation Army.
409
00:15:14,531 --> 00:15:16,665
You do good work.
Wonderful organization.
410
00:15:16,701 --> 00:15:19,029
Please, Mr. Unger,
411
00:15:19,053 --> 00:15:20,519
when we recess,
412
00:15:20,555 --> 00:15:22,922
why don't you just give
each juror an apple?
413
00:15:26,494 --> 00:15:28,472
Do you still want to
handle your own case?
414
00:15:28,496 --> 00:15:30,112
Yes, Your Judgeship, I do.
415
00:15:30,148 --> 00:15:33,949
Very well, you may
begin, Mr. Hoffman.
416
00:15:33,984 --> 00:15:36,185
Oh, thank you, Your Honor.
417
00:15:36,237 --> 00:15:38,137
I'll be brief.
418
00:15:38,172 --> 00:15:40,668
Objection, Your Honor.
419
00:15:40,692 --> 00:15:42,191
On what grounds?
420
00:15:42,243 --> 00:15:45,277
My esteemed colleague is
attempting to prejudice the jury
421
00:15:45,312 --> 00:15:46,946
by being brief.
422
00:15:46,981 --> 00:15:50,082
Thereby insinuating that I
will be lengthy and boring.
423
00:15:51,169 --> 00:15:52,684
Objection overruled.
424
00:15:52,720 --> 00:15:55,204
Thank you, Your Honor.
425
00:15:57,041 --> 00:15:58,473
It's an open and shut case.
426
00:15:58,509 --> 00:16:01,476
He really has no
grounds to sue us.
427
00:16:01,512 --> 00:16:04,479
Mr. Felix Unger
signed a legal contract
428
00:16:04,515 --> 00:16:06,648
with Hugh Hefner Corporation
429
00:16:06,684 --> 00:16:08,784
to supply us with six subjects.
430
00:16:08,820 --> 00:16:10,798
He has only
supplied us with five,
431
00:16:10,822 --> 00:16:13,918
and he has refused to
allow us to print the sixth.
432
00:16:13,942 --> 00:16:15,474
Now, then,
433
00:16:15,509 --> 00:16:17,154
I would like to
enter into evidence
434
00:16:17,178 --> 00:16:19,156
this contract marked
as Exhibit "A".
435
00:16:19,180 --> 00:16:20,479
May I see this, please?
436
00:16:20,514 --> 00:16:22,315
Hmm.
437
00:16:22,350 --> 00:16:25,451
You're building a case on this?
438
00:16:25,486 --> 00:16:26,997
Look at this, Your Honor.
439
00:16:27,021 --> 00:16:28,654
This is what he's
building a case on.
440
00:16:28,689 --> 00:16:30,656
He thinks he's got a case.
441
00:16:30,691 --> 00:16:33,926
Is this the contract? Yes.
442
00:16:33,962 --> 00:16:35,940
Is this your signature? Yes.
443
00:16:35,964 --> 00:16:38,030
A heck of a case.
444
00:16:40,134 --> 00:16:42,267
Legal minds may differ,
445
00:16:42,302 --> 00:16:44,269
but it is our
contention, Your Honor,
446
00:16:44,304 --> 00:16:48,202
that I signed this mere scrap of
paper under emotional duress.
447
00:16:48,226 --> 00:16:50,693
He was under no duress.
448
00:16:50,728 --> 00:16:53,179
Balderdash!
449
00:16:58,119 --> 00:16:59,752
Very well.
450
00:16:59,787 --> 00:17:01,420
We would therefore like to call
451
00:17:01,455 --> 00:17:03,601
as our first and only
witness to the stand
452
00:17:03,625 --> 00:17:06,225
Mr. Oscar Madison.
453
00:17:07,729 --> 00:17:11,358
He's gonna put my
best friend on the stand.
454
00:17:11,382 --> 00:17:14,316
He thinks it's gonna
do him some good.
455
00:17:17,588 --> 00:17:18,888
You blew it, buddy!
456
00:17:18,923 --> 00:17:20,334
You had me on that
contract business
457
00:17:20,358 --> 00:17:21,368
and you didn't know it.
458
00:17:21,392 --> 00:17:22,691
Now you blew it.
459
00:17:22,726 --> 00:17:26,295
Mr. Madison, were you present
460
00:17:26,330 --> 00:17:28,297
when Mr. Unger
signed this contract?
461
00:17:28,332 --> 00:17:29,843
Yes, I was. Good.
462
00:17:29,867 --> 00:17:31,367
And will you
please tell the Court
463
00:17:31,402 --> 00:17:33,385
exactly what was
his reaction to this?
464
00:17:36,491 --> 00:17:39,040
Well... well, difficult
for me to say.
465
00:17:39,077 --> 00:17:40,876
Aw, well now, come, Mr. Madison,
466
00:17:40,911 --> 00:17:42,878
I'm sure you can remember.
467
00:17:42,913 --> 00:17:45,714
Tell us, how did he act?
468
00:17:45,749 --> 00:17:49,179
Well, he threw his hat up in
the air and yelled "Yippee."
469
00:17:49,203 --> 00:17:51,181
Yelled what?
470
00:17:51,205 --> 00:17:53,489
Yippee!
471
00:17:53,541 --> 00:17:55,508
Yippee.
472
00:17:55,543 --> 00:17:57,510
Well, no further
questions, Your Honor.
473
00:17:57,545 --> 00:17:59,311
Your witness.
474
00:18:05,019 --> 00:18:08,987
Mr. Madison, where
are you employed?
475
00:18:09,023 --> 00:18:10,267
Playboy magazine.
476
00:18:10,291 --> 00:18:11,491
I beg your pardon, what, what?
477
00:18:11,526 --> 00:18:13,092
Playboy magazine.
478
00:18:13,127 --> 00:18:15,294
Ah! Well, well, well!
479
00:18:15,329 --> 00:18:19,247
And how long did you think
you could keep that from us?
480
00:18:21,185 --> 00:18:23,130
I wasn't trying to keep
anything from you.
481
00:18:23,154 --> 00:18:25,787
Your Honor, this man
is obviously a stooge
482
00:18:25,822 --> 00:18:26,967
of management.
483
00:18:26,991 --> 00:18:29,458
A corporation puppet.
484
00:18:29,494 --> 00:18:32,294
One of those little gray men
485
00:18:32,329 --> 00:18:34,463
you see skulking
through the halls
486
00:18:34,499 --> 00:18:37,800
of any giant cartel.
487
00:18:37,835 --> 00:18:42,972
Nameless, faceless
men without scruples,
488
00:18:43,007 --> 00:18:44,967
trying to claw
their way to the top.
489
00:18:46,511 --> 00:18:48,811
I think I speak
for this entire court
490
00:18:48,846 --> 00:18:51,146
when I say, you make me sick.
491
00:18:51,181 --> 00:18:52,447
Get off the stand.
492
00:19:00,608 --> 00:19:03,168
Mr. Hoffman...
493
00:19:12,754 --> 00:19:15,983
Mr. Hoffman, any more witnesses?
494
00:19:16,007 --> 00:19:18,640
Defense rests, Your Honor.
495
00:19:18,676 --> 00:19:20,809
Mr. Unger,
496
00:19:20,845 --> 00:19:22,189
you may present your case.
497
00:19:23,347 --> 00:19:27,015
You will not find me
unprepared, Your Honor.
498
00:19:28,919 --> 00:19:33,889
I have contrived what I consider
to be an uncontestable case.
499
00:19:33,924 --> 00:19:38,060
I will cite legal ethics,
500
00:19:38,095 --> 00:19:42,231
moral standards for the ladies,
501
00:19:42,266 --> 00:19:44,900
publishing precedent
502
00:19:44,935 --> 00:19:48,904
and good old common sense.
503
00:19:48,939 --> 00:19:51,740
In order that the
Court may judge
504
00:19:51,775 --> 00:19:55,911
what sort of man stands
here alone before it,
505
00:19:55,946 --> 00:19:58,914
I will call to the stand
as a character witness,
506
00:19:58,949 --> 00:20:02,217
Oscar Madison.
507
00:20:03,337 --> 00:20:06,622
You make me sick!
508
00:20:11,128 --> 00:20:12,428
No further questions.
509
00:20:13,964 --> 00:20:17,933
I believe this case will
stand on its own merits.
510
00:20:17,968 --> 00:20:19,935
Let's look, shall
we, at the evidence.
511
00:20:19,970 --> 00:20:22,338
Give me a break, Your
Honor, this is my fiancée.
512
00:20:22,373 --> 00:20:25,874
I don't want everybody staring
at her like the other ones...
513
00:20:25,909 --> 00:20:28,555
Please, Mr. Unger,
we don't whine
514
00:20:28,579 --> 00:20:30,557
in court. How would you feel
515
00:20:30,581 --> 00:20:33,393
if a national magazine printed
a naked picture of your wife?
516
00:20:33,417 --> 00:20:34,616
Amazed.
517
00:20:34,669 --> 00:20:36,635
Be that as it may,
518
00:20:36,671 --> 00:20:37,970
that's your problem, not mine.
519
00:20:38,005 --> 00:20:40,806
Now, now, Mr. Unger,
the law is the law.
520
00:20:40,841 --> 00:20:42,819
If the photo were obscene,
521
00:20:42,843 --> 00:20:44,988
you might have an
argument. It is. I know. I took it.
522
00:20:45,012 --> 00:20:46,278
I'm an obscene photographer.
523
00:20:48,015 --> 00:20:50,349
Well, that could be
a point of contention.
524
00:20:50,384 --> 00:20:51,733
Bring me the photograph.
525
00:20:51,769 --> 00:20:52,817
No, I'd rather not.
526
00:20:52,854 --> 00:20:53,769
What?!
527
00:20:53,804 --> 00:20:55,616
Do I have a choice?
528
00:20:55,640 --> 00:20:59,007
Yes. You can bring me
the picture or be cited for
529
00:20:59,060 --> 00:21:00,340
contempt.
530
00:21:01,995 --> 00:21:03,929
Some choice.
531
00:21:22,749 --> 00:21:24,727
Well, it's a bit irregular,
532
00:21:24,751 --> 00:21:26,729
but as long as the jury is here,
533
00:21:26,753 --> 00:21:28,398
why not let the
jury decide? No, no.
534
00:21:28,422 --> 00:21:29,933
Please don't, not
not the jury. Bailiff.
535
00:21:29,957 --> 00:21:31,890
Yes, Your Honor.
536
00:21:34,562 --> 00:21:37,646
Even the bailiff gets to see it.
537
00:21:52,663 --> 00:21:54,930
You haven't got a prayer.
538
00:22:00,705 --> 00:22:02,749
They threw him back to
the Minors, the guy was...
539
00:22:02,773 --> 00:22:04,551
I love sports stories like that.
540
00:22:04,575 --> 00:22:05,891
Am I interrupting something?
541
00:22:05,926 --> 00:22:07,570
Felix! I got a message
you wanted to see me.
542
00:22:07,594 --> 00:22:08,760
Excuse me, girls.
543
00:22:08,795 --> 00:22:09,839
I've been lookin'
all over for you.
544
00:22:09,863 --> 00:22:11,174
Where you been? Walking.
545
00:22:11,198 --> 00:22:12,831
Where? Where? Walking.
546
00:22:12,866 --> 00:22:15,667
I walked, I walked.
547
00:22:15,702 --> 00:22:18,164
I kept thinking about April.
548
00:22:18,188 --> 00:22:22,324
April used to be my
most favorite month.
549
00:22:22,359 --> 00:22:25,094
Spring housecleaning...
550
00:22:25,129 --> 00:22:27,129
April showers bring May flowers.
551
00:22:27,164 --> 00:22:28,542
Are you through
feeling sorry for yourself?
552
00:22:28,566 --> 00:22:30,310
In April, 15 million people,
553
00:22:30,334 --> 00:22:34,469
30 million eyes, are
gonna be staring at my girl.
554
00:22:34,505 --> 00:22:36,532
What's my mother gonna think?
555
00:22:36,556 --> 00:22:38,184
A woman who told
me when I was a kid
556
00:22:38,208 --> 00:22:40,288
if I read National
Geographic I'd go blind.
557
00:22:44,799 --> 00:22:45,764
Oscar.
558
00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:47,778
Oh, hi, Hef. How are you?
559
00:22:47,802 --> 00:22:49,212
Hugh Hefner, Felix Unger.
560
00:22:49,236 --> 00:22:50,580
Felix. This is Hugh Hefner.
561
00:22:50,604 --> 00:22:52,783
You think a big man like
that could afford a jacket.
562
00:22:52,807 --> 00:22:53,883
He's been very
anxious to meet you.
563
00:22:53,907 --> 00:22:55,051
What does he want of me now?
564
00:22:55,075 --> 00:22:56,553
My well-built aunt
from Cleveland?
565
00:22:56,577 --> 00:22:58,555
Will you sit down and hold
it? Let the man talk to you?
566
00:22:58,579 --> 00:22:59,656
He needs to tell you something.
567
00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:00,680
See, that a boy.
568
00:23:00,715 --> 00:23:01,880
Be nice.
569
00:23:01,915 --> 00:23:04,833
Well, Felix, I just got
back from London,
570
00:23:04,868 --> 00:23:06,184
and I heard about your problem.
571
00:23:06,220 --> 00:23:08,169
You've come to gloat? No, I, uh,
572
00:23:08,205 --> 00:23:09,337
I think you're kinda spunky.
573
00:23:09,373 --> 00:23:11,006
Even though we won the suit,
574
00:23:11,041 --> 00:23:12,853
I don't force people
to publish their work.
575
00:23:12,877 --> 00:23:14,276
We'll find someone else
576
00:23:14,311 --> 00:23:16,123
for Miss April. You're gonna
give me my picture back?
577
00:23:16,147 --> 00:23:17,095
Mole and all.
578
00:23:17,131 --> 00:23:18,363
Oh, thank you, thank you.
579
00:23:18,398 --> 00:23:19,597
You're a wonderful man.
580
00:23:19,633 --> 00:23:20,873
You look good without a jacket.
581
00:23:20,901 --> 00:23:21,850
Nice meeting you.
582
00:23:21,886 --> 00:23:23,519
Hey, who is gonna be Miss April?
583
00:23:23,554 --> 00:23:25,031
Well, I think we're
gonna use one of, uh,
584
00:23:25,055 --> 00:23:26,065
Felix's other pictures.
585
00:23:26,089 --> 00:23:27,255
You know, you're,
586
00:23:27,291 --> 00:23:28,802
you're really quite a
good photographer,
587
00:23:28,826 --> 00:23:30,459
but a lousy lawyer.
588
00:23:30,494 --> 00:23:32,773
Wonderful sense of
humor. See you later.
589
00:23:32,797 --> 00:23:33,807
You're a great guy.
590
00:23:33,831 --> 00:23:35,809
You know, you're a lot
like me in many respects.
591
00:23:35,833 --> 00:23:37,043
You're civilized. I like that.
592
00:23:37,067 --> 00:23:40,587
- Can I call you Hef?
- Mr. Hef.
593
00:23:45,008 --> 00:23:46,586
No, you don't! Give me that!
594
00:23:49,046 --> 00:23:50,846
I want to see the
mole, that's all...
595
00:23:55,169 --> 00:23:57,180
Gee, Oscar, that
was a great story.
596
00:23:57,204 --> 00:24:00,171
I was totally enruptured.
597
00:24:00,207 --> 00:24:03,075
Murray, you killed me again!
598
00:24:04,411 --> 00:24:06,978
Hmm. You told them the
whole sordid episode, huh?
599
00:24:07,014 --> 00:24:08,391
One thing still confuses me.
600
00:24:08,415 --> 00:24:09,764
What?
601
00:24:09,800 --> 00:24:11,300
If Mr. Hefner was so nice to you
602
00:24:11,335 --> 00:24:12,800
why are you still angry at him?
603
00:24:12,836 --> 00:24:15,387
Well, can't you imagine the
embarrassment I went through?
604
00:24:15,422 --> 00:24:17,890
Two of those jurors
called Gloria for years
605
00:24:17,925 --> 00:24:19,023
after we were married.
606
00:24:21,111 --> 00:24:24,078
The judge still writes to her.
607
00:24:24,114 --> 00:24:27,149
You know, there's one
thing that just eats at me.
608
00:24:27,184 --> 00:24:28,595
What's that? Before I got
609
00:24:28,619 --> 00:24:30,485
that negative back
from the magazine,
610
00:24:30,521 --> 00:24:33,972
some wiseacre up there
made ten copies of that picture.
611
00:24:34,007 --> 00:24:36,925
I got nine of them back.
612
00:24:38,629 --> 00:24:40,896
And I won't rest till
I find that tenth one.
44217
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