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1
00:00:23,200 --> 00:00:25,760
[ PLAYFUL OPENING MUSIC ]
2
00:00:36,560 --> 00:00:39,200
Now... just try to relax old fellow.
3
00:00:39,480 --> 00:00:40,720
Nothing to worry about.
4
00:00:41,640 --> 00:00:43,040
Open wide.
5
00:00:45,640 --> 00:00:46,640
Ah, yes.
6
00:00:47,400 --> 00:00:49,800
You haven't been to see me
for some time, have you?
7
00:00:52,200 --> 00:00:53,240
Wider please.
8
00:00:54,360 --> 00:00:55,040
Ah!
9
00:00:55,920 --> 00:00:56,560
Cavity.
10
00:00:56,600 --> 00:00:57,280
[ CHIME ]
11
00:00:58,600 --> 00:00:59,280
Cavity.
12
00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:00,040
[ CHIME ]
13
00:01:01,680 --> 00:01:02,360
Cavity.
14
00:01:02,440 --> 00:01:03,120
[ CHIME ]
15
00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:05,000
Out!
16
00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:06,120
[ BOING ]
17
00:01:07,680 --> 00:01:08,960
Tell me, how's the family?
18
00:01:09,120 --> 00:01:10,800
[ UNINTELLIGIBLE SPEECH ]
19
00:01:12,120 --> 00:01:14,360
[ PLAYFUL MUSIC ]
20
00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:18,360
This patient has a retained root
21
00:02:18,440 --> 00:02:20,040
in the lower right
mandibular region.
22
00:02:20,840 --> 00:02:21,800
You, Michaels.
23
00:02:22,160 --> 00:02:23,560
True or false?
24
00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:25,000
Um...
25
00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:30,120
True sir.
26
00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:31,320
What do we do?
27
00:02:31,640 --> 00:02:34,280
Elevate the periosteum
and remove the
28
00:02:34,600 --> 00:02:36,040
outer plate of bone, sir.
29
00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:37,200
Correct.
30
00:02:44,960 --> 00:02:47,280
This lady is down as a
case of Padget's disease.
31
00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:48,920
After extraction
32
00:02:49,040 --> 00:02:52,040
she should rinse immediately
with a warm mouthwash.
33
00:02:52,480 --> 00:02:53,320
You Dexter.
34
00:02:53,920 --> 00:02:54,680
True or false?
35
00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:56,560
Er, false sir.
36
00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:59,920
She should have no
hot drinks, food or alcohol
37
00:02:59,960 --> 00:03:01,520
until the injection wears off.
38
00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:02,640
Correct.
39
00:03:09,480 --> 00:03:10,520
Sorry sir
40
00:03:16,120 --> 00:03:17,560
This is an infected wisdom.
41
00:03:18,120 --> 00:03:21,040
The molar next to it will have to
be removed before extraction.
42
00:03:22,360 --> 00:03:23,640
Cookson, true or false?
43
00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:25,040
I was just wondering myself, sir.
44
00:03:25,160 --> 00:03:27,040
[ PLAYFUL MUSIC ]
45
00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:34,800
[ GRUNTS WITH EFFORT ]
46
00:03:36,600 --> 00:03:38,320
For heaven's sake,
hold her head still.
47
00:03:38,320 --> 00:03:39,400
It's not so easy.
48
00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:40,240
What are you grinning at?
49
00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:41,520
You brought her in, you have a go.
50
00:03:42,080 --> 00:03:42,960
Alright.
51
00:03:46,080 --> 00:03:46,640
[ RIP ]
52
00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:47,520
There you are
53
00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:48,480
easiest thing in the world.
54
00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:49,080
One.
55
00:03:49,080 --> 00:03:51,080
[ RIP ]
56
00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:53,240
[ RIP ]
Three.
57
00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:54,800
[ RIP ]
Four.
58
00:03:55,280 --> 00:03:56,520
[ RIP ]
Five.
59
00:03:57,240 --> 00:03:58,160
[ RIP ]
Six.
60
00:03:58,240 --> 00:04:00,520
Nice wristy action, Dexter.
61
00:04:01,040 --> 00:04:02,120
Splendid!
62
00:04:02,800 --> 00:04:03,800
You know, gentlemen
63
00:04:04,080 --> 00:04:06,720
I know there's a simple reason
why dental students
64
00:04:06,960 --> 00:04:08,720
should be plucking a pheasant.
65
00:04:09,680 --> 00:04:11,160
But I seem to have forgotten it.
66
00:04:11,160 --> 00:04:13,000
Sir, my father sent it
to me from Scotland
67
00:04:13,040 --> 00:04:15,160
and we were getting it
ready for supper, sir.
68
00:04:15,680 --> 00:04:16,600
I see.
69
00:04:17,280 --> 00:04:18,920
Gentlemen remember why you're here.
70
00:04:19,320 --> 00:04:21,040
You haven't forgotten
the anaesthetics.
71
00:04:21,160 --> 00:04:23,040
We didn't need one sir.
It was dead when it arrived.
72
00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:23,840
[ CHUCKLES ]
73
00:04:24,200 --> 00:04:26,120
The anaesthetist hasn't
turned up yet sir.
74
00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:29,440
And while you were waiting you
thought you'd pluck a pheasant.
75
00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:32,240
Interesting train of thought.
76
00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:33,960
I suppose it didn't occur to you
77
00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:36,440
that you could have done
a little revision of anaesthetics.
78
00:04:36,680 --> 00:04:38,960
Yes sir, we've been hard
at it all afternoon.
79
00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:42,240
The hemoglobin levels and techniques
in case of anaesthetic collapse.
80
00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:43,680
[ ALL AGREE ]
81
00:04:43,680 --> 00:04:44,840
and all that stuff.
82
00:04:45,560 --> 00:04:48,360
Let's see how hard
you have been at it.
83
00:04:48,680 --> 00:04:49,400
Now...
84
00:04:49,640 --> 00:04:50,960
I am under an anaesthetic.
85
00:04:51,240 --> 00:04:53,040
Suddenly my respiration stops
86
00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:54,200
gone, finished.
87
00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:55,320
What happens next?
88
00:04:55,640 --> 00:04:57,080
We'd all send flowers, sir.
89
00:04:57,160 --> 00:04:58,040
[ GIGGLES ]
90
00:04:58,120 --> 00:04:58,880
Mr Cookson.
91
00:04:59,320 --> 00:05:00,400
I am a patient.
92
00:05:00,560 --> 00:05:01,920
A trusting patient
93
00:05:02,080 --> 00:05:03,920
who has allowed you to
give me an anaesthetic.
94
00:05:04,360 --> 00:05:06,040
Suddenly my heart stops beating.
95
00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:07,080
What do you do about it?
96
00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:09,760
Well, there's only one
thing to do sir, I'd er...
97
00:05:10,160 --> 00:05:12,120
I'd get the old langton huber needle
98
00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:14,600
and I'd give you the old
one two with it, sir.
99
00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:16,680
At least you got the name
of the needle right.
100
00:05:16,680 --> 00:05:18,480
Where exactly would
you give me this...
101
00:05:18,640 --> 00:05:19,680
"old one two" with it?
102
00:05:19,840 --> 00:05:21,680
Er... where exactly...
103
00:05:21,880 --> 00:05:23,840
Um, between the ribs.
104
00:05:23,840 --> 00:05:25,000
Fourth space on the right, sir.
105
00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:26,800
You're slightly out.
It's the fourth on the left.
106
00:05:27,440 --> 00:05:29,560
I'm sorry sir, I'm...
right-handed, sir.
107
00:05:30,440 --> 00:05:31,920
But I'll get the hang
of it, sir, I promise.
108
00:05:32,080 --> 00:05:33,440
Yes, you'll either
get the hang of it
109
00:05:33,640 --> 00:05:34,560
or hang for it.
110
00:05:34,880 --> 00:05:35,520
Dexter
111
00:05:35,720 --> 00:05:37,080
in an emergency such as this
112
00:05:37,080 --> 00:05:38,680
how much adrenaline
would you prescribe?
113
00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:41,520
Oh, eighty minim, sir.
114
00:05:41,520 --> 00:05:42,520
Who do you want to kill,
115
00:05:42,520 --> 00:05:43,880
me or the population of London?
116
00:05:43,880 --> 00:05:45,880
Oh you...
117
00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:46,760
Gentlemen...
118
00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:49,960
I have some bad news for you.
119
00:05:50,760 --> 00:05:53,840
In two days' time, you will have
your first contact with the public
120
00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:56,760
doing local anaesthetic extractions.
121
00:05:56,880 --> 00:05:58,880
Two days, sir, but that's not fair!
122
00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:00,600
No, it is not fair.
123
00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:03,120
But thank heavens the public
don't know about it yet
124
00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:06,200
or the emigration figures
would double overnight.
125
00:06:06,520 --> 00:06:08,960
You have two days to
make up your minds
126
00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:11,320
whether you're going
to be rotten dentists
127
00:06:12,280 --> 00:06:14,200
or pheasant pluckers.
128
00:06:14,680 --> 00:06:15,320
[ SQUEALS ]
129
00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:24,800
Watling's right you know
130
00:06:24,800 --> 00:06:26,320
if the public knew what
was going to happen to them
131
00:06:26,320 --> 00:06:27,480
they'd stone the minister of health.
132
00:06:27,480 --> 00:06:28,840
I'm going upstairs
to do some swotting.
133
00:06:28,960 --> 00:06:29,640
Oh!
134
00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:31,000
And you should do some too!
135
00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:32,840
If you don't pass your exams,
you know what happens to you?
136
00:06:32,840 --> 00:06:34,040
- What?
- They make you a lecturer.
137
00:06:34,080 --> 00:06:35,200
Yes, Mr lecturer.
138
00:06:37,200 --> 00:06:38,480
I'll take the women's classes.
139
00:06:39,120 --> 00:06:39,960
You do?
140
00:06:40,120 --> 00:06:41,440
I'm one of the new students
141
00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:43,880
and I wondered if I could
have some personal tuition.
142
00:06:45,320 --> 00:06:48,320
Oh I should think so,
wouldn't you, Dexter?
143
00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:50,760
Oh yes, definitely sir!
144
00:06:50,920 --> 00:06:53,920
Yes, we give personal tuition in
wrestling with awkward patients.
145
00:06:53,960 --> 00:06:56,080
- After hours.
- Yes, we're always after ours.
146
00:06:56,360 --> 00:06:57,640
- And then I teach...
- Kissing...
147
00:06:57,640 --> 00:06:58,600
- necking
- cuddling...
148
00:06:58,600 --> 00:06:59,680
and if you have
trouble with your
149
00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:00,920
toothpaste I teach
you how to squeeze.
150
00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:02,400
Ha ha, is that all?
151
00:07:03,160 --> 00:07:04,000
Lift, David.
152
00:07:04,280 --> 00:07:06,000
Excuse me, I'm also the lift man.
153
00:07:08,160 --> 00:07:11,080
Going up, third floor,
dentures, scaling, gum boils.
154
00:07:11,080 --> 00:07:12,520
Have you ever had gum
boils on the third floor?
155
00:07:12,560 --> 00:07:13,640
It's very unpleasant.
156
00:07:13,720 --> 00:07:15,400
- The Dean!
- Shut up!
157
00:07:16,840 --> 00:07:17,640
May I?
158
00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:24,960
- Which floor, sir?
- Fourth, please.
159
00:07:25,120 --> 00:07:26,120
Dean's office.
160
00:07:26,440 --> 00:07:29,360
Carpetings, dressings down,
riot acts and suspensions.
161
00:07:29,360 --> 00:07:31,360
If you would accompany
me there, Mr Cookson.
162
00:07:31,880 --> 00:07:32,760
Yes, of course sir.
163
00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:35,000
Let our friend off first, will you?
164
00:07:35,640 --> 00:07:37,120
How's work Mr Dexter?
165
00:07:37,440 --> 00:07:39,160
Oh, coming on, sir.
166
00:07:39,160 --> 00:07:40,840
Yes thank you, coming along.
167
00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:43,520
Judging by your progress,
it'll be a long time arriving!
168
00:07:52,880 --> 00:07:55,320
[ PLAYFUL MUSIC ]
169
00:08:11,280 --> 00:08:12,440
Well, well...
170
00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:13,800
Tell us the worst.
171
00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:15,640
Stripped of your
medals, degraded...?
172
00:08:15,640 --> 00:08:17,160
I know this will come
as a great shock
173
00:08:17,160 --> 00:08:18,120
but I'm still with you.
174
00:08:18,320 --> 00:08:20,160
He's just been on the
mat with Dr Jekyll.
175
00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:22,240
There's a comparative
anatomy test tomorrow.
176
00:08:22,320 --> 00:08:24,120
You know that flower
he wears in his lapel
177
00:08:24,240 --> 00:08:25,680
we think he should
wear it in his hat
178
00:08:25,680 --> 00:08:27,120
because his brains died years ago.
179
00:08:27,280 --> 00:08:28,120
[ GUFFAWS ]
180
00:08:28,480 --> 00:08:30,200
My name's David Cookson, by the way.
181
00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:31,880
This is Miss Travers.
182
00:08:31,880 --> 00:08:33,400
- Hello.
- Hello.
183
00:08:33,760 --> 00:08:35,400
I hope the Dean wasn't
too rough on you.
184
00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:37,000
Oh no, he was
perfectly charming...
185
00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:38,560
as usual.
186
00:08:38,680 --> 00:08:40,120
As usual? Huh!
187
00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:43,040
He's the most cantankerous,
sarcastic, cunning...
188
00:08:43,040 --> 00:08:44,800
He's also Miss Travers' uncle.
189
00:08:44,840 --> 00:08:46,680
Yes, he's also... he's what?
190
00:08:46,680 --> 00:08:48,640
He's the most cantankerous,
sarcastic, cunning...
191
00:08:48,640 --> 00:08:50,000
Look, when I said that I...
192
00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:52,320
You were understating. Forget it!
193
00:08:52,840 --> 00:08:54,120
Oh, well...
194
00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:55,800
fancy the Dean being your uncle.
195
00:08:55,800 --> 00:08:58,120
And you're going to follow in his
footsteps and be a dentist too.
196
00:08:58,120 --> 00:08:59,880
Yes, except I keep
failing my finals.
197
00:08:59,880 --> 00:09:00,680
Your finals?
198
00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:02,280
But this is your first term.
199
00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:03,600
In this college, yes.
200
00:09:03,680 --> 00:09:05,400
You've been in other
dental colleges?
201
00:09:05,520 --> 00:09:06,880
In... and out.
202
00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:08,640
That's why I've been sent here.
203
00:09:08,640 --> 00:09:11,160
So that my... the Dean
could keep an eye on me.
204
00:09:11,200 --> 00:09:11,840
[ CLOCK CHIMES ]
205
00:09:11,920 --> 00:09:14,440
Seven o'clock! I'm gone!
206
00:09:14,440 --> 00:09:16,400
- Thanks for the coffee.
- You're welcome.
207
00:09:16,520 --> 00:09:19,000
What do you mean, "You're welcome"?
I paid for the coffee.
208
00:09:19,400 --> 00:09:20,400
Fourpence.
209
00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:22,560
Anyway, I saw her first.
210
00:09:23,240 --> 00:09:23,880
Didn't I?
211
00:09:24,960 --> 00:09:26,680
[ CLOCK CHIMES ]
212
00:09:29,480 --> 00:09:31,360
[ SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC ]
213
00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:44,840
Sam, I don't like it.
214
00:09:44,840 --> 00:09:45,880
What do you mean?
215
00:09:45,880 --> 00:09:48,560
All you've got to do is to
sit here with the engine running.
216
00:09:48,760 --> 00:09:51,080
- How long are you going to be?
- How long am I going to be?
217
00:09:51,080 --> 00:09:53,360
I'm pulling a job, not
buying a newspaper.
218
00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:54,960
Switch your lights off.
219
00:09:55,360 --> 00:09:57,760
I can't park here without lights.
It's illegal.
220
00:09:57,840 --> 00:10:00,440
Come on! Sometimes
you get on my wick!
221
00:10:00,440 --> 00:10:01,400
Give me the plan.
222
00:10:02,560 --> 00:10:03,960
- Here you are.
- Ta.
223
00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:07,680
What's this here?
224
00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:09,560
- Cigarette cases here?
- Yes.
225
00:10:09,680 --> 00:10:10,760
Gold cabinet there...
226
00:10:12,120 --> 00:10:13,960
What's this here, "case
of Canterburies"?
227
00:10:14,160 --> 00:10:15,560
Candelabras!
228
00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:17,240
You're crossing your
dees now are you?
229
00:10:17,240 --> 00:10:19,600
Look, this door's to
the strongroom, see?
230
00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:21,400
Right, do you mind!
231
00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:22,840
I know this plan like
the back of my hand,
232
00:10:22,840 --> 00:10:24,280
I'm just refreshing.
Have a look at that.
233
00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:26,680
Right now, three paces forward...
234
00:10:26,680 --> 00:10:29,440
two paces right, five paces forward
235
00:10:29,440 --> 00:10:31,480
one right, two left, right?
236
00:10:31,920 --> 00:10:33,240
- Left!
- Yeah...
237
00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:33,840
Yes, that's right.
238
00:10:33,880 --> 00:10:35,240
Give me the paper
with the treacle on.
239
00:10:35,440 --> 00:10:36,160
Here you are.
240
00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:00,160
[ BLOWS ]
241
00:11:32,600 --> 00:11:34,000
[ GLASS BREAKING ]
242
00:11:49,520 --> 00:11:50,680
Three paces forward.
243
00:11:52,080 --> 00:11:54,600
One, two, three...
244
00:11:54,600 --> 00:11:56,600
[ LOUD CRASH ]
245
00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:59,080
[ NOISE OF BROKEN CUCKOO CLOCK ]
246
00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:01,080
[ CLOCK ALARM RINGING ]
247
00:12:01,080 --> 00:12:03,080
[ CLOCKS CHIMING ]
248
00:12:07,480 --> 00:12:08,120
[ THUD ]
249
00:12:09,240 --> 00:12:11,240
[ TOILET FLUSHING ]
250
00:12:12,320 --> 00:12:14,240
Oh Crikey!
251
00:12:14,480 --> 00:12:16,240
[ CLOCKS CHIMING ]
252
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:22,240
[ ENGINE REVVING ]
253
00:12:38,760 --> 00:12:41,320
Three paces forward,
two paces right...
254
00:12:41,880 --> 00:12:44,560
You must have been walking
like a Japanese geisha girl!
255
00:12:46,040 --> 00:12:47,360
I did have a tight skirt on.
256
00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:48,680
That's charming!
257
00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:51,680
In that case, as an artist,
I should've worn a tight skirt too!
258
00:12:52,320 --> 00:12:54,120
There's no finesse any more.
259
00:12:57,760 --> 00:13:00,280
Three paces forward,
two paces right...
260
00:13:00,440 --> 00:13:02,960
Straight into the lavvy with
all the cuckoo clocks going off!
261
00:13:03,160 --> 00:13:04,440
It's all over now.
262
00:13:04,440 --> 00:13:06,720
Don't forget you promised me
this was your last job.
263
00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:08,160
You know what was in your stars.
264
00:13:08,160 --> 00:13:09,720
Yeah, I know what was in the stars.
265
00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:11,760
From now on, it's me
as a wage earner.
266
00:13:11,760 --> 00:13:14,280
Pay-as-you-earn insurance
stamps and a telly.
267
00:13:14,440 --> 00:13:16,560
Cor, Sam, how lovely!
268
00:13:18,120 --> 00:13:19,640
Come on, let's see what you've got.
269
00:13:20,160 --> 00:13:22,040
- Eh?
- Open up.
270
00:13:24,880 --> 00:13:25,800
Keep her steady.
271
00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:34,720
Hello, what's this stuff?
272
00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:37,800
Looks like tooth-pullers.
273
00:13:38,200 --> 00:13:38,680
Eh?
274
00:13:39,640 --> 00:13:41,200
It is, it's dentist junk!
275
00:13:41,640 --> 00:13:45,000
You must have gone through the fire
escape and done the shop next door.
276
00:13:45,360 --> 00:13:47,360
I done the shop next door!
277
00:13:47,720 --> 00:13:50,240
I'll be the laughing
stock of the underworld!
278
00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:52,360
How am I going to flog this junk?
279
00:13:52,640 --> 00:13:53,920
Sell them to a dentist.
280
00:13:54,040 --> 00:13:56,760
One dentist? We'll need
a load of dentists.
281
00:13:58,760 --> 00:14:00,760
[ CHEERFUL MUSIC ]
282
00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:28,040
- Morning.
- Good morning.
283
00:14:28,240 --> 00:14:30,560
Tell me, how do I get
at the students?
284
00:14:30,840 --> 00:14:31,640
Get at them?
285
00:14:31,840 --> 00:14:35,040
Oh no, what I mean is they have
to pop off somewhere, don't they?
286
00:14:35,560 --> 00:14:37,160
Something to eat or
something, somewhere?
287
00:14:37,320 --> 00:14:38,000
Or the bank?
288
00:14:38,280 --> 00:14:40,040
Yes, of course I've got
instrument in here.
289
00:14:40,040 --> 00:14:41,560
No rubbish, all very good stuff.
290
00:14:41,720 --> 00:14:43,400
All travellers and
representatives on
291
00:14:43,400 --> 00:14:44,920
Friday evening, if
you don't mind.
292
00:14:45,040 --> 00:14:46,680
Yes of course, today is Tuesday.
293
00:14:46,840 --> 00:14:47,520
I beg your pardon?
294
00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:49,760
Granted. Yes, I'm like
you, messing up the dates,
295
00:14:49,760 --> 00:14:51,320
don't know which is
Tuesday, which is Friday...
296
00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:53,320
What do you think I am, a calendar?
297
00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:55,960
I'm sorry sir, but all
travellers and...
298
00:14:55,960 --> 00:14:57,480
And representatives
on a Friday evening.
299
00:14:57,480 --> 00:14:58,960
Of course, I'm not
arguing about that.
300
00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:00,440
As a matter of fact I've...
301
00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:01,800
got an appointment.
302
00:15:01,880 --> 00:15:03,200
May I ask who with?
303
00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:04,720
You may certainly, who with.
304
00:15:05,080 --> 00:15:06,040
You'll never guess.
305
00:15:06,040 --> 00:15:08,200
Try a few names, increase
your word power.
306
00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:09,920
Excuse me. Has Mr Dexter gone out?
307
00:15:09,920 --> 00:15:11,280
I haven't seen him, Mr Cookson.
308
00:15:11,280 --> 00:15:14,080
Mr Cookson, well, well, I've got
everything here as promised.
309
00:15:14,600 --> 00:15:15,840
That's wonderful.
Do I know you?
310
00:15:15,840 --> 00:15:17,440
Do you know me, ha ha!
311
00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:19,280
Does he know me!
A great little joker, this boy.
312
00:15:19,520 --> 00:15:20,120
This way sir.
313
00:15:23,440 --> 00:15:24,320
Here we are, guv.
314
00:15:24,600 --> 00:15:27,120
I've got some brand new instruments
here going at massacre prices.
315
00:15:27,520 --> 00:15:28,520
Instruments, no thank you.
316
00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:29,960
I'm afraid you've picked
the wrong person.
317
00:15:30,400 --> 00:15:31,840
Do you mean you're not a student?
318
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:34,080
Yes, I am but I can't
afford to get my own...
319
00:15:34,080 --> 00:15:36,000
Can't afford!
What are you talking about?
320
00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:37,000
Have I asked a price?
321
00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:38,880
How can you "can't afford"
when I haven't even asked?
322
00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:40,320
Look, come back at
the end of term and
323
00:15:40,360 --> 00:15:41,720
I'll probably be able
to sell you mine.
324
00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:42,520
Excuse me.
325
00:15:42,520 --> 00:15:43,520
Brian I thought you'd gone out.
326
00:15:43,520 --> 00:15:45,160
They've sprung another
orthodontic lecture on us.
327
00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:47,320
- When?
- Now, come on, we'll be late.
328
00:15:47,440 --> 00:15:48,600
Perhaps your friend
might be interested.
329
00:15:48,640 --> 00:15:50,160
- In what?
- You can't afford them either...
330
00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:52,560
I've got a hundred
quids' worth in here.
331
00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:53,840
I told Mr Cookson all about it.
332
00:15:53,840 --> 00:15:55,920
They're brand new. You wouldn't
believe what I'm asking for them.
333
00:15:55,920 --> 00:15:57,080
I can hardly believe it myself.
334
00:15:57,120 --> 00:15:58,160
What are they, nylons?
335
00:15:58,240 --> 00:15:59,920
Nylons! Do us a favour.
336
00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:01,480
- They're tooth tools.
- Tooth tools?
337
00:16:01,520 --> 00:16:03,280
We'll be late.
Come back in a couple of years.
338
00:16:03,280 --> 00:16:05,000
- Where did you find him?
- Never mind about him.
339
00:16:05,160 --> 00:16:05,760
Sorry!
340
00:16:05,760 --> 00:16:07,400
- Who's taking orthodontics?
- Barret.
341
00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:10,640
Barret, I'm safe!
Chapters 7, 8, 11 and12.
342
00:16:10,640 --> 00:16:13,000
Some day he'll quote from someone
else's book and then you've had it.
343
00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:14,600
No author ever quotes
from someone else's book.
344
00:16:14,760 --> 00:16:17,560
Over a hundred quids' worth here,
all I'm asking is thirty quid.
345
00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:19,200
Look, you're fast becoming a pest.
346
00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:23,120
Hey! How much?
347
00:16:23,120 --> 00:16:25,560
- Alright then, twenty-five.
- Twenty five quid?
348
00:16:25,640 --> 00:16:27,680
I can't take a penny
less than twenty.
349
00:16:27,680 --> 00:16:28,720
Look, I'll show you.
350
00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:29,880
Out the way.
351
00:16:30,160 --> 00:16:31,640
I've got to live, haven't I?
352
00:16:32,320 --> 00:16:33,200
Open up.
353
00:16:33,880 --> 00:16:36,880
He's got the lot, articulators,
drills, shears...
354
00:16:36,960 --> 00:16:38,560
- What's the catch?
- Catch?
355
00:16:38,760 --> 00:16:40,040
Pu... lease!
356
00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:42,520
Where did you get this lot?
357
00:16:42,640 --> 00:16:45,480
It's like this, all this
stuff is bankrupt stock.
358
00:16:45,680 --> 00:16:47,320
Me and my partner made a good deal
359
00:16:47,320 --> 00:16:49,320
and we want you students
to have a good deal.
360
00:16:49,320 --> 00:16:50,360
- Upstairs?
- Upstairs.
361
00:16:50,360 --> 00:16:52,320
Upstairs?
No funny business.
362
00:16:52,320 --> 00:16:54,600
Funny business?
Pu... lease!
363
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:55,440
[ CHUCKLES ]
364
00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:00,720
Mike, sign us in, will you?
365
00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:02,480
I'm getting to know your signature.
366
00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:07,160
I can't take any cheques.
367
00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:08,520
That's alright, we can't sign any.
368
00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:09,600
I need hard cash.
369
00:17:09,600 --> 00:17:11,000
We're practically brothers.
370
00:17:13,080 --> 00:17:14,280
Now the thing is...
371
00:17:14,760 --> 00:17:16,160
how late can you come back tonight?
372
00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:17,600
What have I got to come back for?
373
00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:19,080
- Twenty quid.
- I should coco.
374
00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:20,680
Now look Mr... what's your name?
375
00:17:20,680 --> 00:17:22,000
Well it's not Muggins!
376
00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:25,440
You didn't really expect
to walk into a dental hospital
377
00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:27,080
and find a student with twenty quid?
378
00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:30,080
The only thing we can do is put a
notice on the board and have a sale.
379
00:17:30,840 --> 00:17:32,920
I want 10% of everything
you make over the top.
380
00:17:32,920 --> 00:17:34,080
After we take a set each.
381
00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:35,920
Come back at seven o'clock...
382
00:17:35,920 --> 00:17:37,760
No no, I'm coming back at six!
383
00:17:37,760 --> 00:17:39,280
- Seven.
- Six thirty.
384
00:17:39,280 --> 00:17:40,880
- Seven fifteen.
- Six forty five.
385
00:17:41,040 --> 00:17:42,200
- Eight.
- Seven!
386
00:17:43,680 --> 00:17:44,320
Seven.
387
00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:46,560
That's not right!
388
00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:49,680
I want my bonce examined.
389
00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:53,280
Alright, quiet everybody.
Attention please!
390
00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:54,560
It's the forceps show.
391
00:17:55,080 --> 00:17:56,840
A funny thing happened to me
on my way to the...
392
00:17:56,920 --> 00:17:58,440
Now you're going to
wonder how we can
393
00:17:58,440 --> 00:17:59,880
sell you these brand
new instruments
394
00:17:59,880 --> 00:18:01,240
at such giveaway prices.
395
00:18:01,240 --> 00:18:02,160
You knocked them off!
396
00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:03,160
[ LAUGHING ]
397
00:18:03,280 --> 00:18:05,920
That's a typical clot's attitude
towards big business.
398
00:18:05,920 --> 00:18:07,240
If you must know, we were smart
399
00:18:07,280 --> 00:18:08,920
enough to buy up
some bankrupt stock.
400
00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:11,600
And as me and my partner
made a good deal
401
00:18:11,600 --> 00:18:12,760
you make a good deal too.
402
00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:14,400
Let's not leave the
ladies out of this.
403
00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:15,560
Speak up my lovelies!
404
00:18:16,120 --> 00:18:17,920
Miss Travers, is there
anything you're short of?
405
00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:19,440
Mostly, money.
406
00:18:19,520 --> 00:18:20,320
[ LAUGHING ]
407
00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:21,800
Well we can't let
such a sordid thing
408
00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:23,040
interfere with our relationship.
409
00:18:23,240 --> 00:18:25,360
You name the instruments
and we'll quote you a price.
410
00:18:25,760 --> 00:18:27,320
Well, I need a rubber dam punch,
411
00:18:27,320 --> 00:18:28,960
a 79 gingival margin trimmer,
412
00:18:29,240 --> 00:18:30,520
a pair of surgical scissors,
413
00:18:30,600 --> 00:18:31,800
a matrix retainer,
414
00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:34,040
a water syringe and a mouth mirror.
415
00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:35,000
[ CHUCKLING ]
416
00:18:35,080 --> 00:18:35,680
You do?
417
00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:38,600
Uh-huh, and if you think
I could afford that lot
418
00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:40,040
thanks for the compliment.
419
00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:41,320
You might be surprised to know
420
00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:43,680
we can let you have that for £3/7/6,
421
00:18:43,760 --> 00:18:45,240
exactly half the list price.
422
00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:46,240
You could?
423
00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:47,720
Not only could but would.
424
00:18:47,800 --> 00:18:49,240
Give the lady her surgery.
425
00:18:49,560 --> 00:18:51,920
And that gives you some idea
of the cut-throat reductions
426
00:18:51,920 --> 00:18:54,160
we're bringing into your
lucky lives boys and girls!
427
00:18:54,320 --> 00:18:54,960
David?
428
00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:56,680
Can I pay you later?
429
00:18:57,360 --> 00:18:59,160
You can pay me any time you like.
430
00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:00,080
You're an angel.
431
00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:03,240
Come along boys and girls,
we've got everything here,
432
00:19:03,240 --> 00:19:05,160
we've got forceps,
chisels, probes, scalers,
433
00:19:05,160 --> 00:19:06,600
drills, all the fun of the fair.
434
00:19:06,960 --> 00:19:09,480
Hello Lucy, can I have a
cheese sandwich please?
435
00:19:10,840 --> 00:19:11,560
Lucy!
436
00:19:11,680 --> 00:19:13,800
You got cloth ears?
Lady wants a cheese sandwich.
437
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:16,920
[ ROMANTIC MUSIC ]
438
00:19:32,440 --> 00:19:34,040
What's the matter with Lucy now?
439
00:19:34,280 --> 00:19:35,360
She's off again.
440
00:19:35,880 --> 00:19:36,680
Lucy!
441
00:19:37,720 --> 00:19:38,680
Yoo-hoo!
442
00:19:39,320 --> 00:19:40,680
Wakey-wakey!
443
00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:42,880
Come on you soppy date,
who is it this time?
444
00:19:43,280 --> 00:19:44,680
Mr Dexter.
445
00:19:44,840 --> 00:19:46,400
Got cheap syringes,
buy one of those
446
00:19:46,440 --> 00:19:48,080
or get two and have
your ears pierced
447
00:19:48,160 --> 00:19:49,440
Poor soul, she's sex mad!
448
00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:50,880
Can't do a thing with her
when she's like this.
449
00:19:51,520 --> 00:19:52,480
Want a cup of tea, miss?
450
00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:54,200
No, a cup of coffee please.
451
00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:56,680
Lucy, go in the kitchen and
warm up that instant coffee.
452
00:19:57,240 --> 00:19:58,960
Go on dear, there's a good girl...
453
00:19:58,960 --> 00:20:00,400
Look, a glass of milk will be fine.
454
00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:01,600
Yes, better for you.
455
00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:03,480
They say it's good for
the teeth, don't they?
456
00:20:03,720 --> 00:20:04,480
I don't know...
457
00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:05,840
Ever since I've been working here
458
00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:07,560
I've been soaking mine
in it every night but
459
00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:09,000
hasn't done much good.
460
00:20:09,240 --> 00:20:10,240
[ CROCKERY SMASHING ]
461
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:13,600
Alright, what did you smash now?
462
00:20:13,600 --> 00:20:15,200
My steak and kidney pudding.
463
00:20:15,680 --> 00:20:16,800
I'll have to go.
464
00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:19,000
Take me half an hour to pick
the china out of that pudding.
465
00:20:19,280 --> 00:20:21,000
They're a fussy lot
in here you know.
466
00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:26,000
[ BURST OF DRAMATIC MUSIC ]
467
00:20:35,880 --> 00:20:37,840
You ought to be ashamed
of yourselves!
468
00:20:37,840 --> 00:20:38,320
What for?
469
00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:41,320
Receiving stolen property is
just as bad as stealing it.
470
00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:42,880
I'm not with you, in
fact I haven't...
471
00:20:42,880 --> 00:20:44,120
Have you seen this?
472
00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:46,640
Oh, you mean...?
473
00:20:47,440 --> 00:20:48,960
Oh no, this is bankrupt stock.
474
00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:51,160
I hope.
475
00:20:53,640 --> 00:20:54,680
You don't think...?
476
00:20:58,840 --> 00:20:59,680
Help!
477
00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:02,480
There you are my dear.
478
00:21:02,480 --> 00:21:04,000
With compliments of
the management one
479
00:21:04,040 --> 00:21:05,360
pair of tweezers
for the eyebrows.
480
00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:06,520
- They're sold.
- Sold?
481
00:21:06,560 --> 00:21:09,080
Yes, Miss Travers has
bought the whole lot.
482
00:21:09,080 --> 00:21:11,000
- The lot?
- Isn't that wonderful?
483
00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:13,120
- Marvellous!
- Yes, isn't it wonderful.
484
00:21:13,240 --> 00:21:15,760
- Come on, let's get out of here.
- Sale's over everybody.
485
00:21:16,800 --> 00:21:18,920
- Have you got...?
- No, sold out! Bankruptcy.
486
00:21:24,080 --> 00:21:26,080
What's the hurry for? You'd
think the police were after us!
487
00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:27,520
They probably are.
488
00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:28,760
[ LAUGHS ]
489
00:21:30,120 --> 00:21:31,080
Oh!
490
00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:36,560
I'm terribly sorry
sir, it was my fault.
491
00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:37,560
That's alright Dexter.
492
00:21:37,560 --> 00:21:39,720
It's lucky I wasn't a patient
with a fractured mandible.
493
00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:41,280
And indeed, mine is not.
494
00:21:42,680 --> 00:21:45,000
From your sense of urgency I take it
none of you are proceeding to work.
495
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:46,640
Yes, sir. I mean no, sir.
496
00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:48,720
- Thank you my dear.
- Yes, sir.
497
00:21:54,520 --> 00:21:55,640
What are you getting
so worked up about?
498
00:21:55,640 --> 00:21:56,080
Read that:
499
00:21:56,160 --> 00:21:58,160
"Thieves raid surgical store."
500
00:21:58,160 --> 00:21:59,520
"Dental instruments stolen."
501
00:21:59,840 --> 00:22:01,520
- What's that got to do with us?
- Plenty!
502
00:22:01,520 --> 00:22:02,920
We'll talk about it upstairs.
503
00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:03,880
Talk about what?
504
00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:05,720
You and the Old Bailey
I should think!
505
00:22:05,960 --> 00:22:07,320
Me and the Old Bailey?
506
00:22:09,320 --> 00:22:10,640
- No!
- Yes!
507
00:22:11,200 --> 00:22:14,600
I still can't think how you
fell for such a thin story
508
00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:16,680
as bankrupt stock.
509
00:22:16,920 --> 00:22:18,360
You believed it at the auction.
510
00:22:18,360 --> 00:22:19,360
That was different.
511
00:22:19,360 --> 00:22:20,520
[ SARCASTIC LAUGHS ]
512
00:22:20,680 --> 00:22:22,360
I needed a new set.
513
00:22:22,360 --> 00:22:24,400
I didn't have time to
get mine out of pawn.
514
00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:25,960
The judge won't accept
that as an excuse.
515
00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:27,680
I know!
516
00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:30,200
Let's go and tell the
whole story to the Dean.
517
00:22:30,360 --> 00:22:31,320
- Oh no!
- What?
518
00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:32,880
Not on your life!
519
00:22:33,240 --> 00:22:35,880
I'd sooner be a cat
in a violin factory.
520
00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:37,760
What are we going to do?
521
00:22:37,840 --> 00:22:39,440
Wait 'til your friend shows up...
522
00:22:39,680 --> 00:22:40,800
if he does?
523
00:22:47,120 --> 00:22:50,160
- Excuse me, I'm...
- Mr Dexter's expecting you, sir.
524
00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:52,160
Third floor, room thirteen.
525
00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:53,760
Well, thank you my man.
526
00:22:54,120 --> 00:22:54,760
There you are.
527
00:22:56,320 --> 00:22:57,000
Heads.
528
00:22:57,000 --> 00:22:57,680
You lose.
529
00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:05,200
- Supposing he doesn't come?
- Then he can't be sent off.
530
00:23:05,360 --> 00:23:06,640
No, but we could be sent down.
531
00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:07,320
[ KNOCK ]
532
00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:09,840
Who is it?
533
00:23:10,080 --> 00:23:12,400
It's me, Davy boy, your partner.
534
00:23:14,440 --> 00:23:16,800
Well, well, well, how
much did we make?
535
00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:19,920
Wait a minute!
536
00:23:19,920 --> 00:23:20,760
Never mind wait a minute,
537
00:23:20,760 --> 00:23:22,160
we've been waiting
seven hours for you.
538
00:23:22,160 --> 00:23:23,240
Well you told me 7 o'clock.
539
00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:24,320
Let's talk about what you told us.
540
00:23:24,320 --> 00:23:26,080
Is this or is this
not bankrupt stock?
541
00:23:26,080 --> 00:23:27,680
Oh, so you haven't
managed to sell it all?
542
00:23:27,760 --> 00:23:28,960
I'm still not taking
a penny less...
543
00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:29,760
Answer my question!
544
00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:31,080
Yeah, what was it?
545
00:23:31,760 --> 00:23:33,280
- Can you read?
- Please!
546
00:23:36,560 --> 00:23:38,880
"Thieves raid surgical store"
547
00:23:39,360 --> 00:23:41,480
"Dental instruments stolen."
548
00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:46,840
Not the whole thing,
isn't the headline enough?
549
00:23:46,840 --> 00:23:48,880
What we want to know is were
you one of these thieves?
550
00:23:49,680 --> 00:23:50,920
Are you accusing me
551
00:23:51,360 --> 00:23:52,400
Sammy Fields
552
00:23:52,920 --> 00:23:54,840
of being one of a bunch of thieves
553
00:23:54,840 --> 00:23:56,440
what raided a dental store?
554
00:23:56,880 --> 00:23:58,960
- We're not accusing, we're asking.
- Were you?
555
00:23:59,520 --> 00:24:00,960
Certainly not!
556
00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:04,720
Mr Fields, we apologise.
557
00:24:04,720 --> 00:24:06,800
So I should hope, madam.
558
00:24:07,120 --> 00:24:09,560
Me, one of a... bunch of thieves!
559
00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:12,120
I work entirely on my own.
560
00:24:16,280 --> 00:24:17,520
You work entirely on your own.
561
00:24:17,720 --> 00:24:18,520
Then this is loot.
562
00:24:18,520 --> 00:24:20,040
Please! Loot!
563
00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:21,920
I always think that's such a...
564
00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:23,440
common word.
565
00:24:23,520 --> 00:24:25,560
But you said it was bankrupt stock.
566
00:24:25,560 --> 00:24:27,360
I know, but some
people are finickity.
567
00:24:27,360 --> 00:24:29,080
Finickity! Do you realise
what you've done?
568
00:24:29,320 --> 00:24:31,080
You've made us accessories
after the crime.
569
00:24:31,240 --> 00:24:32,800
You worry too much.
570
00:24:32,800 --> 00:24:35,360
Come on, hand over the money,
we'll say no more about it.
571
00:24:35,600 --> 00:24:36,840
We're saying plenty more about it
572
00:24:36,840 --> 00:24:38,640
and you're not leaving
without that case.
573
00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:41,120
- What? Half empty?
- No, full.
574
00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:43,280
Yes.
575
00:24:43,520 --> 00:24:45,600
You burgled those instruments,
so you can re-burgle them
576
00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:46,800
and take them back to the shop.
577
00:24:47,360 --> 00:24:49,360
Well, no, I can't do that.
578
00:24:49,960 --> 00:24:50,640
Because...
579
00:24:51,960 --> 00:24:53,080
I've taken a vow.
580
00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:55,640
We're not interested in
your spiritual life!
581
00:24:55,640 --> 00:24:56,400
No, I mean it.
582
00:24:56,920 --> 00:24:59,880
I swore that this
would be my last job.
583
00:25:00,400 --> 00:25:02,120
Yes, well it's not
going to be ours too.
584
00:25:02,520 --> 00:25:03,400
Listen to me,
585
00:25:03,400 --> 00:25:06,040
we've got to get those instruments
back from the students.
586
00:25:06,160 --> 00:25:07,080
Where's that list?
587
00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:08,720
The money?
588
00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:10,760
There you are.
589
00:25:10,760 --> 00:25:12,160
You do the girls,
I'll do the boys.
590
00:25:12,200 --> 00:25:12,840
Lucky boys!
591
00:25:13,480 --> 00:25:15,800
- There we are, one, two...
- Come on, give it to me.
592
00:25:16,560 --> 00:25:17,240
Right.
593
00:25:19,640 --> 00:25:20,960
There you are, a pony a piece.
594
00:25:21,440 --> 00:25:22,640
Thanks! Come on.
595
00:25:30,040 --> 00:25:31,680
Why don't you stick
your nose in your ear
596
00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:32,760
and blow your brains out?
597
00:25:32,880 --> 00:25:33,520
Listen,
598
00:25:34,520 --> 00:25:36,920
Ethel would blow my brains out
if I went back on my word
599
00:25:36,920 --> 00:25:37,640
and did another job.
600
00:25:37,760 --> 00:25:39,920
- Who's Ethel?
- She's my partner, you know.
601
00:25:40,360 --> 00:25:41,360
Not an active partner.
602
00:25:41,440 --> 00:25:43,360
More of a... sleeping partner.
603
00:25:43,600 --> 00:25:44,360
Do you mind?
604
00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:46,360
This is sordid enough
without you adding to it.
605
00:25:46,960 --> 00:25:48,120
No, I don't mean that.
606
00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:49,680
I mean, she drives
the car, you know.
607
00:25:50,440 --> 00:25:52,520
Hangs around outside
with her engine running.
608
00:25:52,640 --> 00:25:53,680
Must be quite a sight!
609
00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:55,440
Listen,
610
00:25:55,800 --> 00:25:57,200
she's a good girl, Ethel.
611
00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:00,120
It was all in The News of the World.
612
00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:02,800
I don't want to hear about
your shenanigans with Ethel.
613
00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:05,720
No, not that. I mean my horoscope.
614
00:26:06,760 --> 00:26:07,400
Here we are.
615
00:26:09,120 --> 00:26:09,840
There it is.
616
00:26:10,480 --> 00:26:11,840
That's me, Aries the Ram.
617
00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:12,400
[ SMIRKS ]
618
00:26:12,640 --> 00:26:13,400
Poor Ethel!
619
00:26:15,520 --> 00:26:16,240
Says here,
620
00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:19,560
"This week you should start
thinking about your retirement
621
00:26:19,920 --> 00:26:21,560
and go after the really big job."
622
00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:23,200
That's why I done it.
623
00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:25,800
Well why didn't you done something
bigger than dental instruments?
624
00:26:25,920 --> 00:26:26,760
It was a mistake.
625
00:26:26,800 --> 00:26:28,680
I thought I was doing a
silversmith's next door.
626
00:26:28,680 --> 00:26:32,560
And out of 6,542 dental students
in London, you had to pick me.
627
00:26:32,960 --> 00:26:33,640
[ KNOCK ]
628
00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:36,200
- Who's that?
- Flannel foot.
629
00:26:36,800 --> 00:26:37,880
Flannel foot's here.
630
00:26:39,800 --> 00:26:40,600
Who's he?
631
00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:46,160
- Well?
- Nothing
632
00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:49,640
There weren't many of them in and
those that were wouldn't part up.
633
00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:52,560
I said the firm wanted
their stock back
634
00:26:52,720 --> 00:26:54,320
because they weren't
bankrupt any more.
635
00:26:54,880 --> 00:26:56,120
They just laughed at me.
636
00:26:56,360 --> 00:26:57,960
You were lucky to get
a laugh out of them.
637
00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:00,160
How are we going to buy back
£100 worth of instruments?
638
00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:05,520
- Sam's going to cough up.
- Me?
639
00:27:05,920 --> 00:27:06,920
Do me a favour!
640
00:27:07,120 --> 00:27:08,920
If I had £100 I'd be a millionaire.
641
00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:11,440
Well...
642
00:27:11,760 --> 00:27:13,200
first thing tomorrow morning
643
00:27:13,320 --> 00:27:15,320
I'll go out and sell
your motorcycle.
644
00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:17,520
My motorcycle?
645
00:27:17,520 --> 00:27:19,240
Yes, then whilst you
sign me in at lectures
646
00:27:19,240 --> 00:27:21,120
I'll buy as many
instruments as I can.
647
00:27:21,120 --> 00:27:22,640
- No!
- Don't argue.
648
00:27:23,480 --> 00:27:25,360
- Come on, where's yours?
- Mine?
649
00:27:25,480 --> 00:27:26,560
Those you took from stock.
650
00:27:26,560 --> 00:27:28,200
I'm sacrificing mine.
651
00:27:33,120 --> 00:27:35,280
How am I supposed to go to dental
class without any instruments?
652
00:27:35,280 --> 00:27:36,280
You've managed until now.
653
00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:38,320
You won't need them first thing,
it's comparative anatomy.
654
00:27:38,360 --> 00:27:38,960
[ SIZZLE ]
655
00:27:39,240 --> 00:27:40,520
I've been sterilising them.
656
00:27:44,280 --> 00:27:44,760
[ KNOCK ]
657
00:27:44,760 --> 00:27:45,480
Let me in.
658
00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:52,720
Three shillings for
that, that's all.
659
00:27:52,720 --> 00:27:54,800
Oh, and these are mine, that I
660
00:27:54,920 --> 00:27:56,520
bought, didn't pay for.
661
00:27:56,720 --> 00:27:57,440
Goodnight.
662
00:27:57,680 --> 00:28:00,240
I should keep him here until
this operation is complete.
663
00:28:00,280 --> 00:28:01,080
Keep me here?
664
00:28:01,720 --> 00:28:02,520
Goodnight.
665
00:28:07,680 --> 00:28:08,800
What about Ethel?
666
00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:11,280
She'll have to wait at home
with her engine running.
667
00:28:13,480 --> 00:28:15,400
None of this would
ever have happened
668
00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:17,880
if she hadn't been
wearing a tight skirt.
669
00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:19,960
Come on, bed.
670
00:28:19,960 --> 00:28:22,320
We've got a full day ahead and
you're sleeping on the floor.
671
00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:23,120
On the floor?
672
00:28:23,280 --> 00:28:24,480
This is worse than prison!
673
00:28:24,640 --> 00:28:26,320
If you wake up in the
middle of the night
674
00:28:26,440 --> 00:28:27,480
remember one thing.
675
00:28:27,840 --> 00:28:29,600
- What's that?
- He isn't Ethel!
676
00:28:29,600 --> 00:28:30,880
Do you mind!
677
00:28:30,920 --> 00:28:31,680
[ CHUCKLES ]
678
00:28:32,160 --> 00:28:33,160
Do you mind!
679
00:28:36,960 --> 00:28:37,880
Where are you going?
680
00:28:38,480 --> 00:28:39,640
To lay out a lady.
681
00:28:40,320 --> 00:28:41,640
Good luck to you, mate.
682
00:28:42,600 --> 00:28:43,080
Eh?
683
00:28:49,760 --> 00:28:51,760
Before we start comparative anatomy
684
00:28:52,320 --> 00:28:55,880
I'd like to speak to you on the
subject of students signing in.
685
00:28:58,160 --> 00:28:59,600
Starting from today
686
00:29:00,120 --> 00:29:03,000
all students will
answer to their names
687
00:29:03,440 --> 00:29:04,720
as well as signing in.
688
00:29:05,760 --> 00:29:07,200
This has become necessary
689
00:29:07,520 --> 00:29:10,200
because of the liberties many
of you have been taking.
690
00:29:11,080 --> 00:29:12,920
Very well, let us start.
691
00:29:20,760 --> 00:29:22,400
- Pontefract.
- Here, sir.
692
00:29:23,040 --> 00:29:24,480
- Michaels.
- Here, sir.
693
00:29:24,600 --> 00:29:25,880
- Travers.
- Here, sir.
694
00:29:26,360 --> 00:29:28,040
- Cookson.
- Uh-huh.
695
00:29:28,360 --> 00:29:30,360
- Cookson?
- Here sir.
696
00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:32,120
- Bickerdyke.
- Here, sir.
697
00:29:32,320 --> 00:29:33,160
- Cookson.
698
00:29:34,120 --> 00:29:35,960
- Cookson.
- I'm still here
699
00:29:36,160 --> 00:29:37,480
Why did you sign twice?
700
00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:39,040
Where are you Cookson?
701
00:29:39,840 --> 00:29:40,800
Coming sir.
702
00:29:44,520 --> 00:29:47,720
I'm sorry sir, I was locked in the
washroom and I couldn't hear you.
703
00:29:47,960 --> 00:29:50,560
That's funny. We could
hear you Mr Cookson.
704
00:29:50,960 --> 00:29:51,880
[ LAUGHTER ]
705
00:29:52,120 --> 00:29:52,520
Sir?
706
00:29:52,720 --> 00:29:54,240
You've answered twice already.
707
00:29:54,880 --> 00:29:55,920
Oh, yes sir...
708
00:29:56,640 --> 00:29:57,360
jolly good, sir.
709
00:29:57,600 --> 00:29:59,440
This just goes to illustrate
710
00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:01,960
what a complete farce you've
made of this attendance book.
711
00:30:02,560 --> 00:30:04,400
If we turn back a few pages
712
00:30:04,720 --> 00:30:07,680
we even find that these lectures
have on several occasions
713
00:30:08,080 --> 00:30:10,000
been attended by such people as
714
00:30:10,240 --> 00:30:11,280
Julius Caesar,
715
00:30:11,680 --> 00:30:12,680
Liberace,
716
00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:15,080
Jane Mansfield and Jack the Ripper.
717
00:30:16,640 --> 00:30:18,520
I won't attempt to call
the rest of the roll.
718
00:30:19,280 --> 00:30:20,840
But starting from tomorrow
719
00:30:21,160 --> 00:30:23,400
all non-attendance will
be reported to the Dean.
720
00:30:23,840 --> 00:30:26,440
Nobody is forcing you
to become dentists.
721
00:30:26,920 --> 00:30:27,920
But if you don't want to
722
00:30:28,520 --> 00:30:30,560
there are lots waiting
to take your places.
723
00:30:31,240 --> 00:30:31,840
Now,
724
00:30:33,240 --> 00:30:34,120
anatomy.
725
00:30:34,840 --> 00:30:35,360
Cookson?
726
00:30:35,440 --> 00:30:36,720
[ BOTH ] Here sir.
727
00:30:41,120 --> 00:30:42,360
What's your name?
728
00:30:42,640 --> 00:30:43,120
Sam.
729
00:30:43,160 --> 00:30:45,640
He's a new student sir,
Sam, yes, John Sam.
730
00:30:46,320 --> 00:30:48,360
John Sam, I see.
731
00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:50,480
We'll come back to you, Sam.
732
00:30:51,680 --> 00:30:52,960
What can you tell me about this?
733
00:30:53,360 --> 00:30:53,920
Er...
734
00:30:54,680 --> 00:30:55,920
It's a jawbone, sir.
735
00:30:56,480 --> 00:30:57,080
Brilliant!
736
00:30:57,520 --> 00:30:58,400
What jawbone?
737
00:30:59,120 --> 00:30:59,800
Er...
738
00:31:00,680 --> 00:31:01,360
Erm...
739
00:31:01,920 --> 00:31:04,240
- It's a female on, sir.
- Yes, but what kind?
740
00:31:04,800 --> 00:31:05,360
Er...
741
00:31:07,400 --> 00:31:08,320
Beautiful one, sir.
742
00:31:11,360 --> 00:31:12,320
Miss Travers.
743
00:31:12,600 --> 00:31:14,520
- I take it you know.
- Oh, I do?
744
00:31:14,760 --> 00:31:17,640
Oh yes, of course I do.
745
00:31:18,040 --> 00:31:18,640
Well?
746
00:31:18,840 --> 00:31:21,080
Well, it's a moose jaw.
747
00:31:21,200 --> 00:31:23,400
It is a moose jaw, cervidae group.
748
00:31:23,960 --> 00:31:25,080
Like the common cow
749
00:31:25,120 --> 00:31:27,240
it has no teeth at the
front of the upper jaw.
750
00:31:27,640 --> 00:31:28,720
Just like Ethel's mother!
751
00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:29,760
I beg your pardon?
752
00:31:29,920 --> 00:31:31,760
Common cow, no teeth at the front.
753
00:31:32,280 --> 00:31:33,840
- That's what I said.
- I'm agreeing.
754
00:31:34,160 --> 00:31:34,880
[ LAUGHTER ]
755
00:31:35,280 --> 00:31:37,880
Well, it's nice to know
we agree on cervidae.
756
00:31:38,960 --> 00:31:40,760
Now, the comparative anatomy
757
00:31:40,880 --> 00:31:43,800
of metatheria and polyprotodontia.
758
00:31:44,120 --> 00:31:45,240
What do you know about that?
759
00:31:45,400 --> 00:31:48,560
All teeth in the metatheria group
are adapted for vegetable food
760
00:31:48,560 --> 00:31:51,960
- but animals such as the wombat...
- I wasn't asking you, Cookson.
761
00:31:52,680 --> 00:31:53,160
Oh.
762
00:31:54,240 --> 00:31:55,960
And what about the polyprotodontia?
763
00:31:55,960 --> 00:31:58,080
Teeth adapted to animal
food containing...
764
00:31:58,120 --> 00:31:59,200
I was asking him.
765
00:31:59,240 --> 00:32:00,520
Oh, sorry sir.
766
00:32:01,480 --> 00:32:02,880
The polyprotodontia group
767
00:32:03,240 --> 00:32:06,200
includes possums, Tasmanian
devils and bandicoots.
768
00:32:06,960 --> 00:32:08,840
Oh, bandicoots!
769
00:32:09,040 --> 00:32:10,760
Their teeth formation
runs to a pattern.
770
00:32:10,920 --> 00:32:11,800
Fancy that now!
771
00:32:11,800 --> 00:32:13,520
What has the female
got on the upper half
772
00:32:13,640 --> 00:32:14,720
that the male hasn't?
773
00:32:15,160 --> 00:32:16,200
Are you kidding?
774
00:32:16,320 --> 00:32:17,080
[ LAUGHTER ]
775
00:32:17,200 --> 00:32:18,320
No, I am not kidding.
776
00:32:19,240 --> 00:32:20,920
In fact I'm so angry
777
00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:22,920
that I shall put in a report
to the Dean about you.
778
00:32:24,920 --> 00:32:25,640
[ YELPS ]
779
00:32:27,120 --> 00:32:28,360
Now just remember
780
00:32:28,840 --> 00:32:30,120
although it sounds like it
781
00:32:30,360 --> 00:32:31,960
the bandicoot is not a bird.
782
00:32:32,240 --> 00:32:33,600
Oh yes it is.
783
00:32:34,040 --> 00:32:36,000
It's related to the ooslumbird.
784
00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:37,880
Flies around in ever
diminishing circles
785
00:32:37,880 --> 00:32:38,760
finally disappearing...
786
00:32:38,800 --> 00:32:40,000
[ BURST OF FLAME ]
787
00:32:44,760 --> 00:32:46,040
The ooslumbird!
788
00:32:46,040 --> 00:32:49,000
Well, he started it,
the bandy old coot!
789
00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:51,600
Never mind that, the point is
Watling's written that report by now
790
00:32:51,600 --> 00:32:53,360
and only you can pick
the lock on his desk.
791
00:32:53,440 --> 00:32:54,880
Have you memorised
that plan of the museum?
792
00:32:54,880 --> 00:32:55,360
No.
793
00:32:55,360 --> 00:32:56,920
And I am not going to.
794
00:32:57,040 --> 00:32:59,000
I promised Ethel I'd go
straight in the future.
795
00:32:59,080 --> 00:33:01,920
If the Dean sees that report you'll
go straight in the fertiliser.
796
00:33:01,920 --> 00:33:02,760
Yes, and us with you.
797
00:33:02,760 --> 00:33:03,640
Now learn it!
798
00:33:03,640 --> 00:33:05,360
As soon as it's dark,
go back to the museum
799
00:33:05,360 --> 00:33:07,000
and nick that report
from Watling's desk
800
00:33:07,000 --> 00:33:08,600
before the Dean sees it.
801
00:33:09,080 --> 00:33:10,600
And why can't one of you do it?
802
00:33:10,600 --> 00:33:12,080
- Because I'm much too...
- Shh!
803
00:33:12,760 --> 00:33:15,000
Because I'm too worried trying
to replace those instruments
804
00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:16,720
and David'll be busy
embalming someone.
805
00:33:16,760 --> 00:33:17,320
Who?
806
00:33:17,360 --> 00:33:19,160
You, if you don't do as you're told
807
00:33:19,160 --> 00:33:20,280
and don't point that at people.
808
00:33:20,280 --> 00:33:22,760
Don't tell me how to
handle one of these.
809
00:33:23,040 --> 00:33:24,800
This is the first time
I've really felt at home.
810
00:33:27,440 --> 00:33:28,720
Oh, alright.
811
00:33:29,880 --> 00:33:32,320
Six paces forward, turn left...
812
00:33:32,680 --> 00:33:34,800
You only got £40 for my bicycle?
813
00:33:34,800 --> 00:33:36,320
Yes, I made a down
payment on eight
814
00:33:36,360 --> 00:33:37,960
sets of instruments
on hire purchase.
815
00:33:38,160 --> 00:33:40,320
I left them in the porter's box. I
thought it was safer than our room.
816
00:33:40,360 --> 00:33:41,160
You're dead right.
817
00:33:41,760 --> 00:33:43,600
That still leaves us £60 short.
818
00:33:48,320 --> 00:33:49,720
Here we go again.
819
00:33:49,960 --> 00:33:51,520
Six paces forward.
820
00:33:52,040 --> 00:33:52,720
One
821
00:33:53,240 --> 00:33:54,040
two
822
00:33:54,320 --> 00:33:55,000
three
823
00:33:55,480 --> 00:33:56,200
four
824
00:33:56,680 --> 00:33:57,440
five
825
00:33:57,920 --> 00:33:58,600
six.
826
00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:00,840
Turn left.
827
00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:03,600
Fourteen paces forward...
828
00:34:03,760 --> 00:34:04,480
[ THUD ]
829
00:34:05,280 --> 00:34:06,640
Blast it!
830
00:34:06,640 --> 00:34:08,560
Should've been eight paces forward.
831
00:34:08,600 --> 00:34:09,840
Them two are worse than Ethel.
832
00:34:10,200 --> 00:34:11,200
Let's try again.
833
00:34:11,680 --> 00:34:12,840
Turn left.
834
00:34:13,400 --> 00:34:15,080
Ten paces forward.
835
00:34:15,240 --> 00:34:17,640
One, two, three, four...
836
00:34:17,720 --> 00:34:19,920
five, six, seven, eight...
837
00:34:20,080 --> 00:34:20,760
[ THUD ]
838
00:34:21,080 --> 00:34:23,200
Natural jaw formation, that's good.
839
00:34:23,480 --> 00:34:24,360
To the right.
840
00:34:24,800 --> 00:34:26,040
One, two...
841
00:34:26,280 --> 00:34:28,120
[ SERIES OF LOUD BANGS ]
842
00:34:32,320 --> 00:34:32,840
[ CRASH ]
843
00:34:34,280 --> 00:34:34,840
[ THUD ]
844
00:34:42,880 --> 00:34:44,280
Natural head case,
845
00:34:44,520 --> 00:34:45,680
That makes two of us.
846
00:34:46,720 --> 00:34:47,360
Ouch!
847
00:34:49,880 --> 00:34:51,360
[ CLATTERING ]
848
00:35:07,440 --> 00:35:08,680
Cor!
849
00:35:09,400 --> 00:35:12,000
The National Health certainly
made a mess of you!
850
00:35:16,040 --> 00:35:17,600
I'll go quietly officer, I...
851
00:35:20,720 --> 00:35:22,520
And you can stop
laughing for a start!
852
00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:23,320
[ CRACK ]
853
00:35:23,320 --> 00:35:23,880
Ouch!
854
00:35:27,920 --> 00:35:29,240
There's the desk.
855
00:35:40,600 --> 00:35:41,240
That's it.
856
00:35:43,840 --> 00:35:44,920
That's the one.
857
00:35:45,760 --> 00:35:48,280
First time I've picked a lock
with a periodontal hoe.
858
00:35:50,320 --> 00:35:51,040
Lovely!
859
00:35:55,720 --> 00:35:57,120
Nothing's going right today.
860
00:36:06,480 --> 00:36:07,120
Ouch!
861
00:36:08,920 --> 00:36:10,080
[ BREATHES HEAVILY ]
862
00:36:11,000 --> 00:36:12,640
Can't beat the old fashioned jemmy.
863
00:36:14,560 --> 00:36:15,840
Look at this mess.
864
00:36:16,480 --> 00:36:17,840
Mustn't find me like this.
865
00:36:19,520 --> 00:36:20,520
Where do they go?
866
00:36:20,880 --> 00:36:21,720
There it is.
867
00:36:23,360 --> 00:36:24,040
What?
868
00:36:24,400 --> 00:36:26,040
The whole tooth and
nothing but the tooth.
869
00:36:29,360 --> 00:36:29,960
[ CLICK ]
870
00:36:36,520 --> 00:36:37,320
Oh!
871
00:36:38,080 --> 00:36:39,440
It's you, is it, Mr Sam!
872
00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:42,000
I thought I heard something.
873
00:36:42,480 --> 00:36:45,040
And what brings you to the
dental museum at this hour?
874
00:36:45,680 --> 00:36:47,440
Er... this jaw.
875
00:36:47,720 --> 00:36:49,720
It's quite a problem and I was er...
876
00:36:49,960 --> 00:36:51,160
trying to get to the roots of it.
877
00:36:51,520 --> 00:36:53,000
You appear to have succeeded.
878
00:36:54,680 --> 00:36:55,400
Yeah, well...
879
00:36:55,600 --> 00:36:57,800
I thought I'd just brush
up on my lessons a bit.
880
00:36:58,200 --> 00:36:59,000
And...
881
00:36:59,320 --> 00:37:01,960
which lesson are you
brushing up on there?
882
00:37:02,960 --> 00:37:03,520
This one.
883
00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:04,920
Er... well...
884
00:37:06,720 --> 00:37:07,680
you see, sir...
885
00:37:08,520 --> 00:37:09,480
the problem is...
886
00:37:10,040 --> 00:37:12,480
what's been puzzling me is the
position of the 'ampsteads.
887
00:37:12,760 --> 00:37:13,600
Ampsteads?
888
00:37:13,800 --> 00:37:16,320
The 'ampstead 'eath - teeth,
in the human cakehole.
889
00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:18,200
- In the norf and sarf.
- Mouf.
890
00:37:18,400 --> 00:37:19,240
Er... mouth.
891
00:37:19,440 --> 00:37:21,560
That's right, I always
forget that word myself.
892
00:37:21,920 --> 00:37:22,880
Very commendable.
893
00:37:23,560 --> 00:37:26,600
But you should've come to me if
you wanted extracurricular tutelage.
894
00:37:27,800 --> 00:37:28,560
Well...
895
00:37:28,640 --> 00:37:30,120
if ever I want anything
like that, sir
896
00:37:30,560 --> 00:37:32,120
there's other places I can go to.
897
00:37:32,880 --> 00:37:35,200
Well, you certainly
look as if you need it.
898
00:37:35,760 --> 00:37:36,760
Well, I'm worried, sir.
899
00:37:37,280 --> 00:37:37,920
You see
900
00:37:38,200 --> 00:37:40,040
I can't concentrate on my work
901
00:37:40,040 --> 00:37:42,800
knowing about that report you wrote
to the Dean being in the desk.
902
00:37:43,320 --> 00:37:44,440
Oh, so that was it!
903
00:37:45,040 --> 00:37:46,080
I see!
904
00:37:46,880 --> 00:37:47,560
Well...
905
00:37:47,960 --> 00:37:48,920
it isn't in the desk.
906
00:37:49,840 --> 00:37:50,560
It's here.
907
00:37:51,360 --> 00:37:54,160
Would you like to hear the
substance of my report to the Dean?
908
00:37:55,000 --> 00:37:56,360
Yes, very well sir.
909
00:37:57,880 --> 00:37:59,320
Lectures report.
910
00:38:00,080 --> 00:38:01,200
Eighteenth instant
911
00:38:01,480 --> 00:38:02,240
Dear Sir,
912
00:38:02,920 --> 00:38:04,680
The student John Sam
913
00:38:04,960 --> 00:38:06,920
appears to me to be
the epitome of all
914
00:38:06,960 --> 00:38:09,000
that is retrogressive
and reprehensible.
915
00:38:09,880 --> 00:38:11,560
He is vacuous, indolent
916
00:38:11,880 --> 00:38:14,320
disputatious and
completely illiterate.
917
00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:17,520
He is, in your own
splendid phrase sir
918
00:38:17,960 --> 00:38:20,640
a perfect coagulation of the plasma.
919
00:38:23,200 --> 00:38:23,800
Cor...
920
00:38:24,360 --> 00:38:26,200
And I thought you didn't like me!
921
00:38:27,440 --> 00:38:29,920
What does that mean sir,
a "coagulation of the plasma"?
922
00:38:30,360 --> 00:38:31,320
A clot.
923
00:38:33,680 --> 00:38:36,760
This report will be with the Dean
first thing in the morning.
924
00:38:40,840 --> 00:38:41,560
First...
925
00:38:42,120 --> 00:38:43,000
thing in the morning.
926
00:38:58,360 --> 00:39:01,080
[ PLAYFUL MUSIC ]
927
00:39:07,560 --> 00:39:08,520
[ BOTH ] Good luck!
928
00:39:11,280 --> 00:39:12,120
[ KNOCKS ]
929
00:39:56,320 --> 00:39:57,880
- Mr Cookson!
- Oh!
930
00:39:58,720 --> 00:39:59,960
What are you doing?
931
00:40:00,520 --> 00:40:01,200
Well, I was just...
932
00:40:01,600 --> 00:40:02,520
tidying up.
933
00:40:02,640 --> 00:40:04,440
- Well, really!
- No, let me.
934
00:40:20,080 --> 00:40:22,080
Can I take your stack
as well Miss Brent?
935
00:40:22,080 --> 00:40:23,040
But I've already got them.
936
00:40:23,040 --> 00:40:24,040
Make one neat pile.
937
00:40:24,040 --> 00:40:25,680
- There's no need.
- That's the way.
938
00:40:25,680 --> 00:40:27,520
- Yes, yes, that's the way.
- Please stop!
939
00:40:27,720 --> 00:40:28,440
Miss Brent.
940
00:40:28,800 --> 00:40:30,800
The games room is on
the second floor.
941
00:40:32,400 --> 00:40:34,440
Mr Cookson, I thought you were
only interested in my niece.
942
00:40:34,440 --> 00:40:35,920
What is this, a rehearsal?
943
00:40:36,120 --> 00:40:37,920
- Well, oh, er, I...
- Get up!
944
00:40:38,840 --> 00:40:42,200
Sir, I was just trying to help
Miss Brent pick up her mail.
945
00:40:42,240 --> 00:40:44,520
She's been trying to pick up
one of those for fifteen years.
946
00:40:45,200 --> 00:40:47,200
Look Cookson, I'm not so old that I
947
00:40:47,720 --> 00:40:48,160
can't
948
00:40:48,480 --> 00:40:50,760
remember not having tried
to cut myself off a slice
949
00:40:51,240 --> 00:40:53,320
in any port in a storm
when you're a student.
950
00:40:53,720 --> 00:40:54,960
But on our own doorstep!
951
00:40:55,520 --> 00:40:57,080
Are you sure this embalming work
952
00:40:57,080 --> 00:40:58,520
isn't beginning to get you down?
953
00:40:59,080 --> 00:41:00,200
That's it sir.
954
00:41:00,280 --> 00:41:01,320
It is getting me down sir.
955
00:41:01,320 --> 00:41:03,240
I have been feeling a trifle dizzy.
956
00:41:03,560 --> 00:41:06,040
In fact, if you'd excuse me sir,
I'd like to lie down.
957
00:41:06,920 --> 00:41:08,040
Where are you going with that mail?
958
00:41:08,080 --> 00:41:08,560
Mail?
959
00:41:08,840 --> 00:41:10,600
Oh, I saw a fly sir.
960
00:41:10,640 --> 00:41:12,440
- Fly! I'll have it.
- Yes sir.
961
00:41:14,360 --> 00:41:16,360
For heaven's sake tell
me what the trouble is.
962
00:41:16,640 --> 00:41:18,800
- Trouble sir?
- Yes, nobody visits me socially.
963
00:41:18,960 --> 00:41:21,360
Er... social... ly, social, sir.
964
00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:23,880
- Social?
- Yes, sir...
965
00:41:24,400 --> 00:41:26,760
I was just saying how I agree
with what you said yesterday, sir.
966
00:41:27,320 --> 00:41:29,120
Do you? I said so much yesterday.
967
00:41:29,160 --> 00:41:30,240
Yes sir, you always do.
968
00:41:30,440 --> 00:41:32,120
You always say so much that is wise.
969
00:41:32,520 --> 00:41:35,400
For instance all work and no
play makes Jack a dull boy, sir.
970
00:41:35,400 --> 00:41:35,880
Yeah?
971
00:41:36,480 --> 00:41:38,400
Never understood why
that didn't rhyme.
972
00:41:38,680 --> 00:41:41,000
- No, well I... Cookson!
- Yes sir?
973
00:41:41,720 --> 00:41:43,160
What are you talking about?
974
00:41:43,280 --> 00:41:44,520
Well, a social, sir.
975
00:41:44,880 --> 00:41:46,360
Why don't we hold a social, sir?
976
00:41:46,360 --> 00:41:48,160
- Oh, hold a social?
- Yes, sir, for the students.
977
00:41:48,200 --> 00:41:48,680
[ BUZZ ]
978
00:41:49,840 --> 00:41:52,000
Would you see Detective
Inspector Richardson?
979
00:41:53,440 --> 00:41:54,000
Who?
980
00:41:54,080 --> 00:41:55,680
Detective Inspector Richardson.
981
00:41:55,720 --> 00:41:57,160
He says it's rather urgent.
982
00:41:57,760 --> 00:42:00,720
Oh, well, you'd better
show him in, and...
983
00:42:01,400 --> 00:42:03,240
come in yourself, too, Miss Brent.
984
00:42:03,280 --> 00:42:03,920
Very good.
985
00:42:04,280 --> 00:42:06,720
Our little social is over
for the moment, Cookson.
986
00:42:06,840 --> 00:42:07,320
Yes.
987
00:42:07,600 --> 00:42:09,240
The... police are here.
988
00:42:09,760 --> 00:42:10,600
So I heard.
989
00:42:11,440 --> 00:42:13,600
Hope you haven't been
embalming anybody too soon.
990
00:42:13,920 --> 00:42:14,680
Oh, my tooth!
991
00:42:17,080 --> 00:42:18,160
Don't be silly, Cookson.
992
00:42:19,360 --> 00:42:21,040
Detective Inspector Richardson.
993
00:42:22,200 --> 00:42:23,440
Sorry to trouble you, sir.
994
00:42:23,440 --> 00:42:25,440
Not at all, inspector, not at all.
995
00:42:25,600 --> 00:42:27,560
Regarding my television licence
996
00:42:27,560 --> 00:42:29,560
I was meaning to get one
this morning but...
997
00:42:29,560 --> 00:42:31,280
I'm afraid it's more
serious than that, sir.
998
00:42:31,920 --> 00:42:33,720
Oh, my car radio, yes...
999
00:42:33,760 --> 00:42:35,800
unfortunately I had
to pop over yesterday
1000
00:42:35,800 --> 00:42:37,960
to see my Leighton cousin
in second Buzzard.
1001
00:42:38,320 --> 00:42:41,320
Er... my second cousin in...
er... that's all Cookson.
1002
00:42:41,880 --> 00:42:42,520
Sir.
1003
00:42:42,640 --> 00:42:43,160
[ CLICK ]
1004
00:42:46,400 --> 00:42:48,040
Go along, Cookson.
1005
00:42:53,520 --> 00:42:54,840
I'll come straight
to the point, sir.
1006
00:42:55,280 --> 00:42:56,040
Will you?
1007
00:42:57,280 --> 00:42:59,040
Last night a quantity
of dental instruments
1008
00:42:59,080 --> 00:43:00,440
were stolen from
Brigmore Street.
1009
00:43:01,240 --> 00:43:03,280
We have reason to believe the
thief may have brought them here.
1010
00:43:04,480 --> 00:43:05,080
Here?
1011
00:43:05,280 --> 00:43:07,560
You mean to say you want
to search my office?
1012
00:43:07,760 --> 00:43:09,560
By "here" I mean this hospital, sir.
1013
00:43:10,520 --> 00:43:13,520
Oh, extremely doubtful
I think, inspector.
1014
00:43:13,720 --> 00:43:16,640
The only instruments here are in
use by the surgeons, the students
1015
00:43:16,640 --> 00:43:18,640
or have been brought in
by bona fide travellers.
1016
00:43:19,080 --> 00:43:20,400
That may well be so, sir.
1017
00:43:21,120 --> 00:43:23,360
But a black MG motorcar was
spotted near the scene of the crime
1018
00:43:23,520 --> 00:43:24,320
and the number was taken.
1019
00:43:24,600 --> 00:43:27,120
That same car has been found
abandoned near your ambulance bay.
1020
00:43:27,520 --> 00:43:29,040
Mr Cookson!
1021
00:43:29,960 --> 00:43:31,120
Ha ha. Er...
1022
00:43:31,440 --> 00:43:33,600
I was just trying to
get Radio Luxembourg.
1023
00:43:34,360 --> 00:43:36,920
I think you'd better get back
to your business, Mr Cookson.
1024
00:43:40,680 --> 00:43:41,160
Yes.
1025
00:43:44,520 --> 00:43:47,080
See this report goes through to
the Dean right away Miss Brent.
1026
00:43:47,080 --> 00:43:47,760
Yes, yes.
1027
00:43:57,520 --> 00:43:59,000
I'm not at all well.
1028
00:44:01,440 --> 00:44:02,720
Splendid, you got me a cuppa.
1029
00:44:02,720 --> 00:44:03,600
And a bun.
1030
00:44:03,680 --> 00:44:05,160
[ BOTH ]
Sorry!
1031
00:44:08,720 --> 00:44:10,320
- We've had our chips.
- Had our chips?
1032
00:44:10,320 --> 00:44:12,000
- He's upstairs with the Dean now.
- Who is?
1033
00:44:12,000 --> 00:44:13,200
An inspective defector.
1034
00:44:13,200 --> 00:44:13,640
A what?
1035
00:44:14,000 --> 00:44:16,120
An inspective... the police!
1036
00:44:16,400 --> 00:44:17,640
They found your car outside.
1037
00:44:17,640 --> 00:44:19,120
Towing away for parking.
1038
00:44:19,240 --> 00:44:20,680
Towing away for fingerprints!
1039
00:44:22,160 --> 00:44:23,000
Fingerprints?
1040
00:44:23,160 --> 00:44:25,120
They spotted his car number
in Brigmore Street.
1041
00:44:25,240 --> 00:44:26,600
- Both of them.
- No!
1042
00:44:26,880 --> 00:44:28,800
Cor, that's Ethel!
1043
00:44:29,160 --> 00:44:31,960
She must've turned all the lights
on again after I turned them off.
1044
00:44:32,240 --> 00:44:33,960
We should've put your
lights out altogether.
1045
00:44:34,200 --> 00:44:36,720
If it wasn't for you we wouldn't've
had to go chasing after that report.
1046
00:44:36,720 --> 00:44:37,520
Did you get it?
1047
00:44:39,080 --> 00:44:40,760
And a lot of good
that's going to do us!
1048
00:44:41,160 --> 00:44:42,160
What do we do now?
1049
00:44:42,160 --> 00:44:43,520
Tell them the whole
story and hand it over.
1050
00:44:43,520 --> 00:44:45,800
With £60 short, we'd
still be accessories.
1051
00:44:45,920 --> 00:44:46,840
Besides...
1052
00:44:47,600 --> 00:44:48,840
what's going to happen to me?
1053
00:44:49,000 --> 00:44:51,200
I can think of a lot of things that
should happen to you, mate!
1054
00:44:51,280 --> 00:44:53,000
But not 'til we've replaced
those instruments.
1055
00:44:53,720 --> 00:44:55,560
Ethel! Has Ethel got 60 pounds?
1056
00:44:56,400 --> 00:44:57,600
Only round the hips.
1057
00:44:58,840 --> 00:45:00,160
- Where's Peggy?
- In the reading room.
1058
00:45:00,240 --> 00:45:01,720
Wait 'til she hears the
police have arrived.
1059
00:45:01,880 --> 00:45:03,760
She'll want to tell the
Dean the whole story.
1060
00:45:03,760 --> 00:45:04,960
What's more, I think she'd be right.
1061
00:45:05,440 --> 00:45:07,720
- What will you do now?
- Talk her out of it.
1062
00:45:19,360 --> 00:45:20,520
Do you mind if I sit next to you?
1063
00:45:20,960 --> 00:45:21,760
Why not?
1064
00:45:21,960 --> 00:45:23,480
If you don't get those
instruments back
1065
00:45:23,480 --> 00:45:24,680
you're not going to
have much feminine
1066
00:45:24,680 --> 00:45:25,760
company for the
next twelve months.
1067
00:45:25,920 --> 00:45:26,440
Shh!
1068
00:45:27,720 --> 00:45:28,640
Twelve months!
1069
00:45:32,160 --> 00:45:34,120
Not so loud. Do you want
to see me go to prison?
1070
00:45:34,600 --> 00:45:36,400
- What's the matter with you?
- Nothing.
1071
00:45:36,760 --> 00:45:38,360
Where were you 'til
4 o'clock last night?
1072
00:45:38,400 --> 00:45:38,920
What?
1073
00:45:39,280 --> 00:45:40,080
You were out.
1074
00:45:40,200 --> 00:45:41,760
You were out with
somebody, weren't you?
1075
00:45:41,760 --> 00:45:42,280
Somebody?
1076
00:45:42,800 --> 00:45:45,080
Yes, I was out with somebody.
1077
00:45:45,160 --> 00:45:46,000
[ SARCASTIC LAUGH ]
1078
00:45:46,080 --> 00:45:48,520
Showing her the rudiments of
dental hygiene no doubt.
1079
00:45:48,680 --> 00:45:51,080
No, I was er... embalming her.
1080
00:45:51,280 --> 00:45:52,680
Embalming her!
1081
00:45:53,280 --> 00:45:55,960
Well it's the first time I've
ever heard it called that!
1082
00:45:56,880 --> 00:45:58,400
It's the first time
I've called it that.
1083
00:46:00,120 --> 00:46:02,400
I'm glad you've smiled.
I've got something to tell you.
1084
00:46:02,840 --> 00:46:04,040
What's the trouble now?
1085
00:46:04,040 --> 00:46:06,800
- Well, there's some people here...
- The police! I knew...
1086
00:46:06,800 --> 00:46:08,560
I know you want to tell the Dean....
1087
00:46:08,560 --> 00:46:11,120
- No, it's gone far enough.
- Just another 24 hours.
1088
00:46:11,240 --> 00:46:12,640
Not a minute more!
1089
00:46:14,920 --> 00:46:16,120
Twenty four hours.
1090
00:46:18,840 --> 00:46:20,120
So no trouble there.
1091
00:46:20,120 --> 00:46:22,360
We've got trouble here. Sam thinks
they'll search the building.
1092
00:46:22,400 --> 00:46:23,120
Search it?
1093
00:46:23,200 --> 00:46:25,280
Once the cops are in,
you can't get them out.
1094
00:46:25,280 --> 00:46:26,280
They're like woodworm.
1095
00:46:26,320 --> 00:46:28,560
How shall we hide the instruments
from Inspector Richardson?
1096
00:46:28,760 --> 00:46:29,720
Inspector who?
1097
00:46:30,760 --> 00:46:32,640
Richardson, I told you,
he's with the Dean.
1098
00:46:32,720 --> 00:46:34,360
Oh, crikey!
1099
00:46:34,360 --> 00:46:35,480
- Do you know him?
- Know him!
1100
00:46:35,480 --> 00:46:37,400
We've been handcuffed
together so often
1101
00:46:37,440 --> 00:46:39,240
people are beginning to
think we're married.
1102
00:46:39,680 --> 00:46:40,840
That's all we need!
1103
00:46:41,120 --> 00:46:42,440
Then we must disguise him.
1104
00:46:42,600 --> 00:46:43,840
How can we change his face?
1105
00:46:44,000 --> 00:46:45,120
Let's tread on it.
1106
00:46:45,760 --> 00:46:46,640
Wait a minute.
1107
00:46:47,080 --> 00:46:48,440
Leave it to your uncle Dave.
1108
00:46:53,080 --> 00:46:54,440
Hello Pontefract!
1109
00:46:54,880 --> 00:46:56,040
Who's there, who is it?
1110
00:47:01,840 --> 00:47:03,120
Now wear those all the time.
1111
00:47:03,320 --> 00:47:04,680
If you see him coming,
walk the other way.
1112
00:47:04,680 --> 00:47:06,120
And if you can't, blow your nose.
1113
00:47:06,160 --> 00:47:07,160
Blow my nose.
1114
00:47:07,400 --> 00:47:09,360
Look, I can't even see my hand!
1115
00:47:09,480 --> 00:47:10,120
Wait a minute.
1116
00:47:10,120 --> 00:47:11,600
If the police are
here, it's madness to
1117
00:47:11,640 --> 00:47:13,160
leave those instruments
with the porter.
1118
00:47:13,560 --> 00:47:14,360
I'll get them.
1119
00:47:14,360 --> 00:47:15,960
Don't let him out of your sight.
1120
00:47:17,200 --> 00:47:19,320
It's like looking through the
bottom of beer bottles.
1121
00:47:20,160 --> 00:47:22,160
[ PUFFS AND PANTS ]
1122
00:47:26,520 --> 00:47:27,840
Ta.
1123
00:47:31,520 --> 00:47:32,880
[ SNORTS ]
1124
00:47:34,000 --> 00:47:35,000
Gentlemen.
1125
00:47:35,200 --> 00:47:37,000
Oh, yes, and ladies.
1126
00:47:38,520 --> 00:47:39,720
Zero minus one.
1127
00:47:40,360 --> 00:47:41,720
Synchronise all watches..
1128
00:47:43,880 --> 00:47:46,720
Now, before you...
hurl yourselves on the
1129
00:47:47,000 --> 00:47:48,720
shuddering bodies of your victims
1130
00:47:49,400 --> 00:47:51,560
there are one or two final things
1131
00:47:51,840 --> 00:47:53,400
that I would like to say to you.
1132
00:47:53,920 --> 00:47:56,680
Today you start your
patient handling...
1133
00:47:57,400 --> 00:47:59,280
technique. I hope
you're with me Cookson.
1134
00:47:59,320 --> 00:47:59,800
Huh?
1135
00:47:59,880 --> 00:48:01,040
[ LAUGHTER ]
1136
00:48:01,360 --> 00:48:03,520
Remember that your... client
1137
00:48:04,480 --> 00:48:07,520
although... outwardly very composed
1138
00:48:08,200 --> 00:48:10,840
is inwardly... a seething mass...
1139
00:48:11,440 --> 00:48:12,440
of nervousness.
1140
00:48:12,720 --> 00:48:15,040
A nervousness which
you must seek to calm
1141
00:48:15,040 --> 00:48:17,760
by the sheer force
of your personality.
1142
00:48:18,320 --> 00:48:19,480
Your nervousness...
1143
00:48:19,960 --> 00:48:21,120
as well as his.
1144
00:48:23,680 --> 00:48:24,920
Further, remember...
1145
00:48:25,760 --> 00:48:27,480
that when your client...
1146
00:48:28,360 --> 00:48:30,640
diagnoses his own aches and pains
1147
00:48:30,640 --> 00:48:33,720
this is the one place he
is almost invariably wrong.
1148
00:48:34,760 --> 00:48:36,920
Later on, when you get
your own private practices
1149
00:48:37,080 --> 00:48:39,360
you may decide the patient
is invariably right
1150
00:48:39,760 --> 00:48:41,920
in case he should place
his fee elsewhere.
1151
00:48:42,320 --> 00:48:44,600
But here you will go by
what is on each card
1152
00:48:44,600 --> 00:48:46,160
that each patient hands you.
1153
00:48:46,440 --> 00:48:47,160
Lastly...
1154
00:48:47,240 --> 00:48:49,400
something which I am
never tired of repeating.
1155
00:48:49,880 --> 00:48:50,560
Dress yourself!
1156
00:48:51,000 --> 00:48:52,760
Do not make assignments
1157
00:48:52,760 --> 00:48:54,640
with patients of either sex.
1158
00:48:54,880 --> 00:48:55,560
In fact...
1159
00:48:55,920 --> 00:48:57,920
no sex at all.
1160
00:48:58,120 --> 00:48:59,120
[ LAUGHTER ]
1161
00:48:59,600 --> 00:49:00,920
I think that's all.
1162
00:49:01,560 --> 00:49:03,600
I have much pleasure
now in declaring
1163
00:49:03,640 --> 00:49:05,480
this surgery well
and truly open.
1164
00:49:05,640 --> 00:49:06,680
Open the floodgates.
1165
00:49:06,680 --> 00:49:07,880
Have mercy on their jaws.
1166
00:49:07,920 --> 00:49:09,000
Good luck everyone.
1167
00:49:11,120 --> 00:49:12,160
What do we do now?
1168
00:49:12,320 --> 00:49:13,840
Just keep quiet and
do as I tell you.
1169
00:49:13,880 --> 00:49:14,400
Alright.
1170
00:49:20,400 --> 00:49:22,760
[ COMICAL MUSIC ]
1171
00:49:41,880 --> 00:49:43,800
I didn't know the buses
come through here.
1172
00:49:44,400 --> 00:49:46,160
They never taught us
how to take out tusks!
1173
00:49:59,560 --> 00:50:00,960
Broken lower molar.
1174
00:50:02,120 --> 00:50:02,760
Yes.
1175
00:50:09,600 --> 00:50:10,120
Here!
1176
00:50:10,160 --> 00:50:12,680
Have you ever handled
broken teeth before?
1177
00:50:12,800 --> 00:50:14,640
Oh yes, I've broken hundreds!
1178
00:50:14,760 --> 00:50:16,680
- Ohhh!
- Just a joke, sir!
1179
00:50:16,800 --> 00:50:17,720
Head back, that's it.
1180
00:50:17,920 --> 00:50:19,440
Alright, but it's...
1181
00:50:19,560 --> 00:50:21,240
Just open your mouth...
1182
00:50:21,240 --> 00:50:23,160
- Ah but it's...
- Open!
1183
00:50:25,200 --> 00:50:27,560
Thank you, sir. Sit
down here, would you?
1184
00:50:28,560 --> 00:50:29,480
And er...
1185
00:50:29,600 --> 00:50:30,920
What can we do for you, sir?
1186
00:50:31,320 --> 00:50:32,920
Whatever it is, be careful.
1187
00:50:33,440 --> 00:50:34,840
I'm a haemophiliac.
1188
00:50:34,840 --> 00:50:37,040
Don't worry mate, in a couple
of years it'll all be legal!
1189
00:50:38,120 --> 00:50:39,760
The patient said he's a haemophiliac
1190
00:50:39,760 --> 00:50:42,080
that means he suffers from
post-extraction haemorrhage.
1191
00:50:42,320 --> 00:50:42,960
That's right.
1192
00:50:43,400 --> 00:50:45,320
- I'm a bleeder.
- Well, none of us is perfect!
1193
00:50:46,640 --> 00:50:49,200
Get the clotting gauze
and the styptic fluid.
1194
00:50:49,280 --> 00:50:50,600
And put your glasses on.
1195
00:50:56,640 --> 00:50:58,480
- Let's have a look at this.
- Do be careful!
1196
00:50:58,920 --> 00:51:00,440
My trouble's all in my uppers.
1197
00:51:00,840 --> 00:51:02,160
My bottom set's fine.
1198
00:51:04,240 --> 00:51:06,160
- Have you got those things?
- Yep.
1199
00:51:06,560 --> 00:51:07,320
What's these?
1200
00:51:07,680 --> 00:51:09,560
It's a 32 piece dinner set.
1201
00:51:09,560 --> 00:51:11,840
- I want that and that.
- That and that.
1202
00:51:19,200 --> 00:51:20,600
- Would you like to open up?
- Now remember...
1203
00:51:20,600 --> 00:51:21,680
I bleed easy.
1204
00:51:21,800 --> 00:51:23,360
Yes, quite sir, now open wide.
1205
00:51:24,600 --> 00:51:26,760
Not that wide, I'm not
going to stand inside.
1206
00:51:27,680 --> 00:51:28,520
That's it.
1207
00:51:31,560 --> 00:51:33,120
- Ouch!
- Yes.
1208
00:51:33,560 --> 00:51:35,120
That's the one, isn't it?
1209
00:51:38,000 --> 00:51:40,160
I'm afraid that's going
to have to come out.
1210
00:51:40,640 --> 00:51:43,240
- I'm having the gas, aren't I?
- No, there's no need for that.
1211
00:51:43,520 --> 00:51:45,200
I can't take the
cocaine, you know.
1212
00:51:45,240 --> 00:51:45,800
Oh no!
1213
00:51:46,800 --> 00:51:48,120
This isn't cocaine.
1214
00:51:48,400 --> 00:51:49,440
This is er...
1215
00:51:50,080 --> 00:51:51,400
analgesic xylocaine.
1216
00:51:56,560 --> 00:51:58,400
It's absolutely wonderful,
you won't feel a thing.
1217
00:51:58,400 --> 00:52:00,680
Just close your eyes and the
tooth will be gone in a flash.
1218
00:52:03,800 --> 00:52:05,520
So it has, and taken
the others with it.
1219
00:52:06,760 --> 00:52:08,920
Well, I hope they're
all as easy as that!
1220
00:52:11,720 --> 00:52:13,160
[ JET SPRAY NOISE ]
1221
00:52:15,320 --> 00:52:16,440
Card please?
1222
00:52:16,880 --> 00:52:17,720
Thank you.
1223
00:52:19,160 --> 00:52:20,200
The lot out?
1224
00:52:20,560 --> 00:52:21,960
Who filled in this card?
1225
00:52:22,120 --> 00:52:23,000
I did.
1226
00:52:23,920 --> 00:52:26,120
Lucy, there's nothing
wrong with your teeth.
1227
00:52:26,360 --> 00:52:28,800
- I know, but I want them out.
- Why?
1228
00:52:29,240 --> 00:52:31,840
Then I can show my friends my gums.
1229
00:52:32,280 --> 00:52:34,960
And when they say, "Lucy,
where's your teeth?"
1230
00:52:35,240 --> 00:52:36,880
I can say, "Gone!"
1231
00:52:37,080 --> 00:52:39,840
And that lovely Mr Dexter did it.
1232
00:52:40,080 --> 00:52:41,080
Examine me.
1233
00:52:41,080 --> 00:52:42,600
Be a good girl, Lucy
1234
00:52:42,600 --> 00:52:45,240
and run back to the
kitchen and warm the pot.
1235
00:52:47,240 --> 00:52:49,240
Are you sure you've
got a broken tooth?
1236
00:52:49,240 --> 00:52:50,400
Yes, I think so...
1237
00:52:50,400 --> 00:52:51,720
Open up and let's have another look.
1238
00:52:52,080 --> 00:52:54,160
Open wide, sir, that's it.
1239
00:52:55,680 --> 00:52:58,160
- Is this right?
- Er, well, erm...
1240
00:52:58,560 --> 00:53:00,840
Just er... let me er...
1241
00:53:01,160 --> 00:53:01,800
May I?
1242
00:53:01,800 --> 00:53:03,560
- Excuse me.
- What are you doing?
1243
00:53:04,000 --> 00:53:06,120
- It's just the card I'm after.
- Oh!
1244
00:53:06,200 --> 00:53:08,040
- So sorry!
- Thank you so much.
1245
00:53:08,040 --> 00:53:09,280
- Sorry!
- Yes, alright.
1246
00:53:09,520 --> 00:53:11,280
Er... yes.
1247
00:53:11,800 --> 00:53:13,560
How long's it been
swollen like that?
1248
00:53:13,920 --> 00:53:16,040
It come up all of a sudden...
1249
00:53:16,040 --> 00:53:17,600
in the launderette.
1250
00:53:18,040 --> 00:53:19,360
Let's have a look at it.
1251
00:53:21,760 --> 00:53:22,720
Right.
1252
00:53:23,960 --> 00:53:24,920
Er...
1253
00:53:25,080 --> 00:53:27,400
- May I just er...?
- Oh, sorry!
1254
00:53:30,840 --> 00:53:32,160
Yes, we'll just give that the...
1255
00:53:32,480 --> 00:53:33,880
the old heave-ho
1256
00:53:34,080 --> 00:53:35,240
and you'll be fine.
1257
00:53:35,560 --> 00:53:36,960
Yeah, oh, what?
1258
00:53:36,960 --> 00:53:38,480
You're not going to remove it?
1259
00:53:38,880 --> 00:53:40,120
Just a painless extraction.
1260
00:53:40,120 --> 00:53:41,920
Oh, no, please, I
couldn't have it out.
1261
00:53:42,120 --> 00:53:42,960
Honestly.
1262
00:53:43,080 --> 00:53:44,440
Couldn't you think
of something else?
1263
00:53:44,760 --> 00:53:46,040
Cos I can't have it out.
1264
00:53:46,440 --> 00:53:48,240
I think I'd rather have a baby!
1265
00:53:48,360 --> 00:53:49,480
[ BOTH CHUCKLE ]
1266
00:53:49,480 --> 00:53:51,520
Make up your mind before
I tilt the chair.
1267
00:53:51,640 --> 00:53:52,200
Yes.
1268
00:53:54,880 --> 00:53:56,360
Well, alright.
1269
00:53:56,760 --> 00:53:57,560
Thank you.
1270
00:54:00,720 --> 00:54:01,560
Good afternoon.
1271
00:54:04,240 --> 00:54:05,000
Now, you're...
1272
00:54:05,600 --> 00:54:07,760
you're not frightened of my
giving you a little injection.
1273
00:54:09,040 --> 00:54:09,880
No.
1274
00:54:10,760 --> 00:54:12,040
I'm glad one of us isn't.
1275
00:54:16,040 --> 00:54:16,800
[ SLURPS ]
1276
00:54:18,800 --> 00:54:20,800
[ SWALLOWS ]
1277
00:54:23,760 --> 00:54:24,520
Oh!
1278
00:54:25,000 --> 00:54:25,920
Beautiful!
1279
00:54:26,520 --> 00:54:27,200
Oh.
1280
00:54:27,600 --> 00:54:28,560
Splendid.
1281
00:54:28,920 --> 00:54:31,400
Now we'll just leave it for
a little while, shall we?
1282
00:54:31,640 --> 00:54:32,400
Yes.
1283
00:54:37,000 --> 00:54:38,080
There you are, inspector.
1284
00:54:38,120 --> 00:54:39,680
You'll find all the
instruments here.
1285
00:54:39,680 --> 00:54:41,680
Thank you.
1286
00:54:48,040 --> 00:54:49,360
What's going on here Michaels?
1287
00:54:49,440 --> 00:54:51,280
Nothing really, sir, except er...
1288
00:54:51,400 --> 00:54:53,320
the patients' got a broken
tooth to come and...
1289
00:54:53,880 --> 00:54:55,120
we can't find it, sir.
1290
00:54:55,160 --> 00:54:55,680
What?
1291
00:54:55,680 --> 00:54:56,600
[ PATIENT TRIES TO SPEAK ]
1292
00:54:56,600 --> 00:54:57,680
Must be in there somewhere.
1293
00:54:57,960 --> 00:54:59,240
Just open your mouth please.
1294
00:54:59,840 --> 00:55:00,760
[ GROANS ]
1295
00:55:00,880 --> 00:55:02,440
Look, please don't
breathe on the mirror.
1296
00:55:04,840 --> 00:55:06,720
No broken tooth in there.
Are you sure?
1297
00:55:06,720 --> 00:55:09,320
I keep on trying to tell them.
1298
00:55:09,680 --> 00:55:12,560
I was wrestling at
Wimbledon last night.
1299
00:55:12,560 --> 00:55:13,120
Wimbledon!
1300
00:55:13,160 --> 00:55:14,480
And my opponent
1301
00:55:14,720 --> 00:55:16,240
got a bit nasty
1302
00:55:16,640 --> 00:55:18,360
and it's his tooth.
1303
00:55:18,840 --> 00:55:20,360
It's in my leg!
1304
00:55:22,040 --> 00:55:23,600
It's all yours, Michaels.
1305
00:55:25,440 --> 00:55:26,800
Now you get it out!
1306
00:55:26,920 --> 00:55:27,960
[ GUFFAWS ]
1307
00:55:28,160 --> 00:55:30,000
For a man who's going to
have a tooth out of his leg
1308
00:55:30,000 --> 00:55:31,160
you seem pretty cheerful.
1309
00:55:31,160 --> 00:55:32,640
You can't hurt me.
1310
00:55:33,240 --> 00:55:35,520
I'm only thinking of my opponent.
1311
00:55:35,720 --> 00:55:39,680
He's gone and bought one of
them stereophonic gramophones...
1312
00:55:39,840 --> 00:55:41,320
[ HOOTS WITH LAUGHTER ]
1313
00:55:42,400 --> 00:55:44,840
and I've got his
earhole in my pocket!
1314
00:55:44,840 --> 00:55:46,200
[ CACKLES ]
1315
00:55:46,720 --> 00:55:47,600
[ THUD ]
1316
00:55:49,280 --> 00:55:51,320
That was wonderful, I
didn't feel a thing.
1317
00:55:51,320 --> 00:55:53,000
And I was so scared, too!
1318
00:55:53,200 --> 00:55:55,120
- Well that's very kind of you.
- That's alright.
1319
00:55:55,120 --> 00:55:57,360
Now, just take a couple of these
1320
00:55:57,360 --> 00:55:59,080
when the injection wears
off, and you'll find...
1321
00:55:59,400 --> 00:56:00,560
the swelling will start to go down.
1322
00:56:00,560 --> 00:56:02,360
Oh, will it? Yes that's good.
1323
00:56:04,000 --> 00:56:05,160
I didn't feel a thing!
1324
00:56:05,520 --> 00:56:06,880
- Excuse me, madam.
- Yes?
1325
00:56:07,640 --> 00:56:08,960
Oh, I see.
1326
00:56:09,480 --> 00:56:10,760
You've been so kind
1327
00:56:11,400 --> 00:56:12,760
I'd like to accept,
it's only a little
1328
00:56:12,800 --> 00:56:14,200
something, nothing
very much really...
1329
00:56:14,240 --> 00:56:16,840
We're not allowed to accept
money but thank you very much.
1330
00:56:18,360 --> 00:56:20,920
- You?
- Thank you very kindly.
1331
00:56:21,280 --> 00:56:21,920
That's alright.
1332
00:56:26,120 --> 00:56:26,840
[ SNORTS ]
1333
00:56:27,800 --> 00:56:30,680
Cor, I felt every yank of that.
1334
00:56:31,000 --> 00:56:33,120
At least it's one
satisfied customer.
1335
00:56:33,560 --> 00:56:35,200
Better stamp her card.
1336
00:56:38,360 --> 00:56:39,120
This isn't her card.
1337
00:56:39,160 --> 00:56:40,800
It's the one you've
been working from.
1338
00:56:41,200 --> 00:56:42,360
You nit!
1339
00:56:43,360 --> 00:56:45,320
You gave me the wrong one.
This is the bleeder's card.
1340
00:56:45,400 --> 00:56:45,920
Shh!
1341
00:56:46,320 --> 00:56:46,880
So?
1342
00:56:47,120 --> 00:56:49,360
So I've just pulled out
a totally innocent tooth.
1343
00:56:49,360 --> 00:56:50,840
Oh no!
1344
00:56:51,280 --> 00:56:52,840
Look out! Cops!
1345
00:56:53,640 --> 00:56:55,400
- Get in the chair.
- In the chair.
1346
00:56:59,520 --> 00:57:01,400
Wait a minute! I'd rather
go to jail than this.
1347
00:57:01,400 --> 00:57:02,440
I'm not going to do anything.
1348
00:57:02,520 --> 00:57:04,360
- Alright mate, you be careful...
- Shut up and open your mouth!
1349
00:57:05,320 --> 00:57:06,440
Just a moment, Cookson.
1350
00:57:06,880 --> 00:57:08,680
Always remove the
patient's glasses first.
1351
00:57:09,080 --> 00:57:10,680
Then we... now, come, come...
1352
00:57:11,480 --> 00:57:13,960
Come on, don't get flustered.
Inject!
1353
00:57:14,400 --> 00:57:15,520
Yes, I'm just er...
1354
00:57:15,840 --> 00:57:17,920
taking it slowly because
the patient's nervous.
1355
00:57:18,320 --> 00:57:20,120
- Is he?
- Thank you, sir.
1356
00:57:20,320 --> 00:57:21,800
Don't worry my dear fellow.
1357
00:57:22,600 --> 00:57:23,720
There's nothing to worry about.
1358
00:57:24,280 --> 00:57:26,240
I can assure you with these new
syringes, you won't feel a thing.
1359
00:57:26,560 --> 00:57:27,240
[ SCREAM ]
1360
00:57:27,640 --> 00:57:28,600
What did I tell you!
1361
00:57:31,360 --> 00:57:32,600
[ SOBBING ]
1362
00:57:32,600 --> 00:57:33,440
Right then.
1363
00:57:34,440 --> 00:57:35,880
Who do I sue?
1364
00:57:39,560 --> 00:57:41,000
I'll tell you something for nothing.
1365
00:57:41,680 --> 00:57:43,440
I think you've got a
diabolical impudence
1366
00:57:43,440 --> 00:57:45,360
to stand there grumbling
when you got us into this
1367
00:57:45,520 --> 00:57:46,560
ghastly nightmare.
1368
00:57:46,800 --> 00:57:49,440
Did I come here asking
to play dentists?
1369
00:57:50,400 --> 00:57:52,160
You know perfectly
well I had to do that.
1370
00:57:52,160 --> 00:57:53,640
You were about to be recognised.
1371
00:57:54,000 --> 00:57:56,200
I'll never be recognised again!
1372
00:57:56,640 --> 00:57:57,600
Look at me!
1373
00:57:57,760 --> 00:58:00,280
Like a squirrel stocked
up for a long winter!
1374
00:58:00,840 --> 00:58:02,560
You don't have to worry
about your next winter.
1375
00:58:02,840 --> 00:58:04,080
As soon as we've got that case full
1376
00:58:04,080 --> 00:58:05,640
you'll take it to
Inspector Richardson
1377
00:58:05,640 --> 00:58:07,400
and you'll say, "It's a fair cop!"
1378
00:58:07,560 --> 00:58:09,440
Or whatever you people say
and you can hand the lot back.
1379
00:58:09,600 --> 00:58:10,840
The sooner the better.
1380
00:58:11,160 --> 00:58:14,040
I've had my bellyful of
bandicoots and ooslums.
1381
00:58:14,040 --> 00:58:17,040
And what's more, I feel
I've lost my essential dignity.
1382
00:58:17,560 --> 00:58:19,400
You can blow you're
essential dignity!
1383
00:58:19,840 --> 00:58:22,200
- Your face'll go down again.
- It'll go down alright.
1384
00:58:22,640 --> 00:58:24,960
By tomorrow night, my chin'll
be down on my navel.
1385
00:58:25,440 --> 00:58:26,240
[ KNOCK ]
1386
00:58:27,640 --> 00:58:28,400
[ RASPS ] Who is it?
1387
00:58:30,640 --> 00:58:32,120
- Who is it?
- Us.
1388
00:58:41,520 --> 00:58:42,320
Well?
1389
00:58:42,320 --> 00:58:43,440
Got another £40 worth.
1390
00:58:43,520 --> 00:58:45,120
Put £13 down as a first payment.
1391
00:58:45,280 --> 00:58:46,040
How does that leave us?
1392
00:58:46,080 --> 00:58:48,520
- £20 and we're home and dry.
- £20!
1393
00:58:48,520 --> 00:58:49,480
There's only one way to get it.
1394
00:58:49,520 --> 00:58:51,440
- What are you looking at me for?
- Not you, Ethel.
1395
00:58:51,600 --> 00:58:53,000
Ethel's going to get us that £20
1396
00:58:53,000 --> 00:58:55,000
even if she has to go out
at night and work for it.
1397
00:58:55,480 --> 00:58:56,640
How dare you!
1398
00:58:56,800 --> 00:58:57,640
No! In a coffee bar.
1399
00:58:57,640 --> 00:58:59,400
She can make that in tips
alone if she's a good girl.
1400
00:58:59,400 --> 00:59:00,880
She's not going to be a good girl.
1401
00:59:00,880 --> 00:59:02,280
In that case she'll make even more.
1402
00:59:02,560 --> 00:59:03,400
Listen to me...
1403
00:59:03,400 --> 00:59:06,080
First thing tomorrow morning,
I'll go round and see Ethel
1404
00:59:06,200 --> 00:59:08,480
and we'll straighten out this
mess that you men have made.
1405
00:59:08,560 --> 00:59:09,960
What's her address?
1406
00:59:10,280 --> 00:59:11,440
Come on, give us the address.
1407
00:59:11,520 --> 00:59:12,560
Take it easy, David!
1408
00:59:12,720 --> 00:59:15,560
Do you realise any minute now
the police will knock at that door!
1409
00:59:15,760 --> 00:59:17,040
[ KNOCK ] Mr Cookson?
1410
00:59:17,120 --> 00:59:18,000
Who is it?
1411
00:59:18,320 --> 00:59:19,760
Dean, right away, please sir.
1412
00:59:20,760 --> 00:59:21,640
[ THUD ]
1413
00:59:22,800 --> 00:59:24,400
Are you alright, Mr Cookson?
1414
00:59:24,640 --> 00:59:26,360
Yes, he's alright thank you.
1415
00:59:26,640 --> 00:59:27,760
[ THUD ] Oh!
1416
00:59:28,640 --> 00:59:30,600
Get his head between his knees.
1417
00:59:30,640 --> 00:59:32,040
Don't want my head between my knees.
1418
00:59:32,040 --> 00:59:32,800
What happened?
1419
00:59:32,840 --> 00:59:34,600
You said, "Oh oh oh" and fainted.
1420
00:59:35,280 --> 00:59:36,720
The porter, did he
say what I thought?
1421
00:59:36,720 --> 00:59:37,280
Yes he did.
1422
00:59:37,400 --> 00:59:38,520
Now is your chance.
1423
00:59:38,520 --> 00:59:40,960
Please go and see the Dean
and tell him the whole story.
1424
00:59:45,200 --> 00:59:46,880
Would you lay out my
best blue suit, please?
1425
00:59:47,000 --> 00:59:47,600
Why?
1426
00:59:47,600 --> 00:59:49,400
I want to look as
smart as possible...
1427
00:59:49,920 --> 00:59:50,880
in the dock.
1428
00:59:56,880 --> 00:59:57,760
Here we are.
1429
00:59:58,920 --> 00:59:59,720
Ticket?
1430
01:00:00,920 --> 01:00:01,960
Thank you so much.
1431
01:00:05,320 --> 01:00:06,960
Peggy, what happened,
did you find her?
1432
01:00:06,960 --> 01:00:08,960
Find her! Soho Street
is so full of police
1433
01:00:08,960 --> 01:00:10,960
I think they're having
a ball of their own.
1434
01:00:11,000 --> 01:00:12,520
Well, that means we've had it.
1435
01:00:12,800 --> 01:00:13,800
Look over there.
1436
01:00:15,160 --> 01:00:16,600
[ DRAMATIC BURST OF MUSIC ]
1437
01:00:18,800 --> 01:00:21,040
Move. Move!
1438
01:00:26,520 --> 01:00:27,480
Only one?
1439
01:00:27,560 --> 01:00:28,120
Oh!
1440
01:00:32,920 --> 01:00:34,120
Hello Ethel.
1441
01:00:34,560 --> 01:00:35,360
Oh.
1442
01:00:35,760 --> 01:00:37,640
Ha! Oh, it's Mr Richardson!
1443
01:00:37,960 --> 01:00:40,280
- Come to have your teeth fixed?
- Yes, that's right.
1444
01:00:40,720 --> 01:00:42,920
Just looked over, you
know, every 6 months.
1445
01:00:42,920 --> 01:00:44,920
Yes, it's usually 6
months, isn't it?
1446
01:00:46,080 --> 01:00:48,400
Yes, well it's... nice
to have seen you.
1447
01:00:48,880 --> 01:00:52,200
You have a long wait Ethel.
The surgery doesn't open 'til 3pm.
1448
01:00:52,880 --> 01:00:54,720
Oh, yes, yes, that's right.
1449
01:00:54,720 --> 01:00:58,720
I came early to...
buy some tickets for the dance.
1450
01:00:58,960 --> 01:01:01,200
And might I ask who your
partner's going to be?
1451
01:01:02,160 --> 01:01:04,520
There are times when
coppers ought to
1452
01:01:04,560 --> 01:01:07,120
stick their noses in
their own business!
1453
01:01:07,880 --> 01:01:09,480
- There you go, thank you.
- Just the one, please.
1454
01:01:09,600 --> 01:01:10,800
- Only one?
- Uh huh.
1455
01:01:13,200 --> 01:01:13,880
Ticket?
1456
01:01:14,280 --> 01:01:15,520
- Eh?
- Ticket?
1457
01:01:15,760 --> 01:01:19,040
- Yes, alright, I'll have one.
- Five shillings please.
1458
01:01:20,440 --> 01:01:21,040
Thanks.
1459
01:01:21,960 --> 01:01:23,440
Here, do you know Mr Cookson?
1460
01:01:23,600 --> 01:01:26,320
Mr... yes, I do.
1461
01:01:26,640 --> 01:01:29,320
Actually I'm looking for the
gentleman who's staying with him.
1462
01:01:29,680 --> 01:01:30,560
Mr Sam?
1463
01:01:30,960 --> 01:01:31,920
Yes, that's right.
1464
01:01:32,280 --> 01:01:33,000
You're Ethel.
1465
01:01:34,240 --> 01:01:35,800
You're Ethel!
1466
01:01:35,800 --> 01:01:38,200
- Yes, that's right.
- Why that's wonderful!
1467
01:01:38,360 --> 01:01:40,360
Mike, would you take over for me?
1468
01:01:40,360 --> 01:01:42,680
- I'd take over anything for you.
- Thanks.
1469
01:01:43,320 --> 01:01:45,080
I'm very glad we met you.
1470
01:01:45,720 --> 01:01:47,800
That girl being here
means one of two things.
1471
01:01:48,200 --> 01:01:50,440
Either Sam Field or the
stuff's in this building.
1472
01:01:58,520 --> 01:01:59,520
[ COUGHS ]
1473
01:02:00,680 --> 01:02:01,920
[ BALLOON DEFLATES NOISILY ]
1474
01:02:05,040 --> 01:02:05,720
[ BALLOON BURSTS ]
1475
01:02:19,960 --> 01:02:20,600
Wait a minute.
1476
01:02:20,720 --> 01:02:21,880
[ BALLOON SQUEAKS ]
1477
01:02:22,960 --> 01:02:24,960
Do you very much mind?
1478
01:02:25,240 --> 01:02:25,920
What do you want?
1479
01:02:25,920 --> 01:02:27,160
Why didn't we think of this before?
1480
01:02:27,320 --> 01:02:28,640
We can phone Ethel.
1481
01:02:30,120 --> 01:02:31,080
You stay where you are.
1482
01:02:31,320 --> 01:02:33,640
- What's her phone number?
- It's 00 66 73.
1483
01:02:33,640 --> 01:02:34,560
Got any pennies?
1484
01:02:34,640 --> 01:02:36,000
Why do you need pennies?
1485
01:02:36,080 --> 01:02:38,000
Tell the girl in the exchange
you got the wrong number.
1486
01:02:39,480 --> 01:02:40,680
[ BALLOONS BURSTING ]
1487
01:02:56,800 --> 01:02:57,440
[ BALLOON BURSTS ]
1488
01:03:08,000 --> 01:03:08,920
Excuse me.
1489
01:03:15,400 --> 01:03:16,920
[ BALLOON DEFLATES NOISILY ]
1490
01:03:36,000 --> 01:03:36,920
[ CHUCKLES ]
1491
01:03:52,160 --> 01:03:53,680
[ AIR HISS ]
1492
01:03:56,320 --> 01:03:57,120
[ BALLOON BURSTS ]
1493
01:03:57,480 --> 01:03:59,120
[ HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER ]
1494
01:04:15,120 --> 01:04:15,800
[ AIR HISS ]
1495
01:04:16,440 --> 01:04:17,080
Come on.
1496
01:04:17,240 --> 01:04:18,080
[ AIR HISS ]
1497
01:04:19,160 --> 01:04:20,080
[ AIR HISS ]
1498
01:04:21,480 --> 01:04:22,800
[ AIR HISS ]
1499
01:04:27,440 --> 01:04:28,800
[ LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY ]
1500
01:04:41,880 --> 01:04:43,000
[ RINGING TONE ]
1501
01:04:46,360 --> 01:04:47,800
That means we've really had it.
1502
01:04:52,040 --> 01:04:54,840
Hey fellas, you haven't bought
your lucky tickets for tonight.
1503
01:04:55,120 --> 01:04:56,240
You might win the big cake.
1504
01:04:56,520 --> 01:04:58,720
Wouldn't be much use to
us without a file in it.
1505
01:04:59,000 --> 01:04:59,560
Pardon?
1506
01:04:59,600 --> 01:05:01,280
Yes, we could do
with one of those too.
1507
01:05:01,960 --> 01:05:02,960
[ GIGGLING ]
1508
01:05:06,280 --> 01:05:07,920
[ AIR HISS ]
1509
01:05:14,800 --> 01:05:15,920
I don't believe it.
1510
01:05:18,920 --> 01:05:19,840
Well...
1511
01:05:20,600 --> 01:05:21,840
[ GIGGLES UNCONTROLLABLY ]
1512
01:05:25,000 --> 01:05:26,880
There's nothing like it on
the instructions, is there?
1513
01:05:28,320 --> 01:05:29,240
[ SNORTS ]
1514
01:05:31,240 --> 01:05:32,480
[ CACKLES ]
1515
01:05:32,960 --> 01:05:33,760
Oh dear!
1516
01:05:45,760 --> 01:05:47,760
[ AIR HISS ]
1517
01:05:51,760 --> 01:05:52,920
[ CAR HORNS ]
1518
01:05:58,720 --> 01:06:00,360
[ BIG BAND JAZZ MUSIC ]
1519
01:06:08,360 --> 01:06:10,360
[ CROWD CHATTERING ]
1520
01:06:27,840 --> 01:06:28,600
Hello.
1521
01:06:28,920 --> 01:06:31,440
Well, I said I'd sort
everything out and I have.
1522
01:06:31,520 --> 01:06:33,480
- How?
- I've found Ethel.
1523
01:06:33,920 --> 01:06:35,120
Ethel, you've talked to her?
1524
01:06:35,120 --> 01:06:37,240
Yes, she came here to
find Sam at lunchtime.
1525
01:06:37,680 --> 01:06:38,840
If she finds him, let me know.
1526
01:06:38,840 --> 01:06:40,480
He's scarpered, I can't
find him anywhere.
1527
01:06:40,600 --> 01:06:42,280
Oh, I know. We helped him go.
1528
01:06:43,920 --> 01:06:44,880
You what?
1529
01:06:45,240 --> 01:06:48,040
We had to. There were
police on all the exits.
1530
01:06:48,160 --> 01:06:50,760
So he got out onto the fire
escape and over the roof.
1531
01:06:51,120 --> 01:06:53,200
And you let him... you must be mad!
1532
01:06:53,320 --> 01:06:55,560
He said he had a way
to fix everything.
1533
01:06:55,640 --> 01:06:58,000
He's fixed everything alright.
He's taken all the instruments.
1534
01:06:58,240 --> 01:06:59,440
The instruments?
1535
01:06:59,520 --> 01:07:02,400
Yes, I just went up to our room
and the mattress was empty.
1536
01:07:02,760 --> 01:07:04,400
He's probably in
Bournemouth with Ethel
1537
01:07:04,400 --> 01:07:05,840
by now whipping out
gold fillings.
1538
01:07:06,080 --> 01:07:08,520
No, no. Ethel's up in my room.
1539
01:07:09,160 --> 01:07:09,800
What?
1540
01:07:09,920 --> 01:07:12,640
I kept her as a sort of... hostage.
1541
01:07:13,000 --> 01:07:13,600
[ LAUGHS ]
1542
01:07:15,480 --> 01:07:17,240
Oh, yes, I'd love to.
1543
01:07:17,240 --> 01:07:18,600
I'd love to dance.
1544
01:07:18,600 --> 01:07:20,960
But I don't want to dance.
I can't dance!
1545
01:07:22,720 --> 01:07:24,040
That's the idea, Cookson.
1546
01:07:24,040 --> 01:07:26,240
A bit of joie de vivre!
1547
01:07:27,360 --> 01:07:30,920
I think he suggested the whole thing
as an excuse to dance with you.
1548
01:07:31,280 --> 01:07:32,160
No sir, I assure you...
1549
01:07:32,160 --> 01:07:33,760
Don't give him any
vital statistics.
1550
01:07:33,880 --> 01:07:34,880
He's an embalmer.
1551
01:07:35,080 --> 01:07:37,400
Ha ha, very good, sir.
Would you excuse us please?
1552
01:07:37,440 --> 01:07:38,640
- Of course.
- Thank you.
1553
01:07:38,840 --> 01:07:40,280
I don't understand.
1554
01:07:47,200 --> 01:07:48,360
Now I understand.
1555
01:07:48,560 --> 01:07:49,840
And you did all this for us.
1556
01:07:49,840 --> 01:07:51,000
I didn't do anything.
1557
01:07:51,200 --> 01:07:53,120
But what I didn't do, I did for you.
1558
01:07:53,680 --> 01:07:54,640
Oh, Peggy!
1559
01:08:00,200 --> 01:08:01,280
They're searching the rooms.
1560
01:08:01,640 --> 01:08:03,520
The police, they were on the
first floor as I came down.
1561
01:08:03,560 --> 01:08:05,280
- Ethel!
- They mustn't find Ethel.
1562
01:08:05,280 --> 01:08:06,920
- Ethel?
- What shall we do with her?
1563
01:08:06,920 --> 01:08:08,440
- Ethel?
- Better bring her down here
1564
01:08:08,440 --> 01:08:09,640
- Mix her up with the crowd.
- Right.
1565
01:08:10,120 --> 01:08:12,400
- Ethel?
- Will you stop saying Ethel?
1566
01:08:15,920 --> 01:08:16,800
Look at you!
1567
01:08:17,440 --> 01:08:18,800
Stop dancing with me!
1568
01:08:19,320 --> 01:08:20,480
[ DRUM ROLL ]
1569
01:08:21,000 --> 01:08:22,480
Quiet everyone!
1570
01:08:22,680 --> 01:08:25,200
If you'll all gather round,
we'll draw for the prizes.
1571
01:08:25,320 --> 01:08:27,240
I think we'd better go up with
Peggy. She may need help.
1572
01:08:27,440 --> 01:08:30,400
If you'd tell me what's happening,
I might know what we're doing!
1573
01:08:30,440 --> 01:08:32,400
If some fellow would
hold the drum,
1574
01:08:32,400 --> 01:08:34,120
we'll pick the prettiest
girl in the room.
1575
01:08:34,840 --> 01:08:36,120
[ LAUGHTER ]
1576
01:08:37,200 --> 01:08:38,200
Thank you very much.
1577
01:08:39,600 --> 01:08:41,040
What's Ethel doing here?
1578
01:08:41,040 --> 01:08:42,240
Why's she in Peggy's room?
1579
01:08:42,240 --> 01:08:43,120
What's happening?
1580
01:08:43,240 --> 01:08:44,840
Which answer do you want first?
1581
01:08:49,760 --> 01:08:50,800
Follow me!
1582
01:08:55,400 --> 01:08:56,520
Sam, where've you been?
1583
01:08:56,520 --> 01:08:57,800
Quiet, don't wake the dead!
1584
01:08:58,480 --> 01:09:00,640
- Who've you got there?
- Shh! In the surgery.
1585
01:09:09,200 --> 01:09:10,440
Come on!
1586
01:09:11,400 --> 01:09:13,200
Now talk... and it'd better be good!
1587
01:09:13,360 --> 01:09:15,480
Well, I've just got you
both out of trouble.
1588
01:09:15,480 --> 01:09:17,440
That's the most terrifying
statement I've ever heard.
1589
01:09:17,440 --> 01:09:19,120
You're no longer twenty quid short.
1590
01:09:19,120 --> 01:09:20,120
No, we're the lot short.
1591
01:09:20,120 --> 01:09:21,680
You swiped all the instruments
out of our room!
1592
01:09:21,720 --> 01:09:22,680
- What?
- Yes!
1593
01:09:22,680 --> 01:09:24,200
Don't be silly!
1594
01:09:25,800 --> 01:09:27,360
I brought them all down
and put them in here.
1595
01:09:29,120 --> 01:09:30,040
What for?
1596
01:09:30,080 --> 01:09:31,680
You can't trust the cops, you know!
1597
01:09:32,640 --> 01:09:34,480
They go sniffing around
rooms and things.
1598
01:09:34,680 --> 01:09:36,480
Yes, that's exactly
what they're doing now.
1599
01:09:36,760 --> 01:09:38,360
You trust your old uncle Sam.
1600
01:09:39,320 --> 01:09:40,440
He'll see you through.
1601
01:09:40,960 --> 01:09:43,560
Well, we will be through if
the Dean finds out about this.
1602
01:09:44,120 --> 01:09:44,920
The Dean...
1603
01:09:47,320 --> 01:09:48,240
will never know.
1604
01:09:53,600 --> 01:09:54,400
You mean...?
1605
01:09:57,320 --> 01:09:57,920
Yeah.
1606
01:09:59,520 --> 01:10:00,200
[ BOTH GASP ]
1607
01:10:01,240 --> 01:10:04,000
There's enough instruments to
make up all your missing sets.
1608
01:10:04,080 --> 01:10:04,960
I'll tell you what to do.
1609
01:10:05,480 --> 01:10:07,160
Just give me 15 minutes' start,
1610
01:10:07,440 --> 01:10:08,600
then raise the alarm,
1611
01:10:08,720 --> 01:10:10,960
and tell them that you found
that lot on the fire escape.
1612
01:10:11,800 --> 01:10:12,760
I'll tell you, mates...
1613
01:10:13,440 --> 01:10:16,520
Sammy Fields is always one
jump ahead of the Gestapo.
1614
01:10:16,600 --> 01:10:18,200
Wait a minute. Where
did you get these?
1615
01:10:18,920 --> 01:10:19,440
Well...
1616
01:10:20,080 --> 01:10:22,080
You know they say that
a flash of lightning
1617
01:10:22,120 --> 01:10:24,320
never strikes twice in the
same place, don't you?
1618
01:10:24,400 --> 01:10:25,320
- Yeah.
- Well...
1619
01:10:26,360 --> 01:10:28,200
You're now looking at a
flash of lightning what did!
1620
01:10:29,280 --> 01:10:30,720
You didn't go back and
break into the...
1621
01:10:30,720 --> 01:10:32,440
Oh, safe as houses!
1622
01:10:32,680 --> 01:10:33,840
Yeah, went like a dream!
1623
01:10:34,080 --> 01:10:36,120
Of course, it was a
bit tricky at first
1624
01:10:36,240 --> 01:10:38,400
because they boarded the door up.
1625
01:10:38,480 --> 01:10:39,400
So...
1626
01:10:44,120 --> 01:10:45,280
Would you believe it?
1627
01:10:47,480 --> 01:10:48,520
This time, I've...
1628
01:10:49,480 --> 01:10:51,760
I've gone and done the silver shop!
1629
01:10:53,080 --> 01:10:54,680
So this is where you are.
1630
01:10:54,680 --> 01:10:56,200
I've got news for you.
1631
01:10:56,200 --> 01:10:58,800
Ethel came downstairs
and won the £20 prize.
1632
01:10:59,360 --> 01:11:00,400
[ ALL ] Cor!
1633
01:11:00,400 --> 01:11:01,240
Good old Ethel!
1634
01:11:01,240 --> 01:11:02,680
£20. Now we're in the clear!
1635
01:11:02,680 --> 01:11:05,000
Yes, but she got arrested doing it.
1636
01:11:05,720 --> 01:11:06,640
You're kidding!
1637
01:11:06,640 --> 01:11:08,840
I'm afraid not.
They're all in the common room now.
1638
01:11:08,960 --> 01:11:10,560
They can't pin it on her.
1639
01:11:10,880 --> 01:11:12,560
She only sat in the car.
1640
01:11:14,560 --> 01:11:15,600
Where's he going?
1641
01:11:15,600 --> 01:11:17,280
- Now he'll get arrested.
- You stay out of this!
1642
01:11:17,800 --> 01:11:18,800
Sorry darling!
1643
01:11:18,800 --> 01:11:20,640
Is that the way you
usually treat your patients?
1644
01:11:20,840 --> 01:11:21,880
No, I...
1645
01:11:22,240 --> 01:11:23,400
Listen, I want to get married.
1646
01:11:23,400 --> 01:11:25,400
- Yes, but what about Sam?
- He's not my type.
1647
01:11:25,400 --> 01:11:27,080
Yes, I know, but I don't
want to get him arrested.
1648
01:11:27,080 --> 01:11:28,560
I want to ask you a question.
1649
01:11:28,640 --> 01:11:29,360
What is it?
1650
01:11:29,360 --> 01:11:30,800
Peggy, would you, do you think...?
1651
01:11:30,840 --> 01:11:32,480
David, there's only
one thing to do now.
1652
01:11:32,480 --> 01:11:34,360
Take this lot in and
make a full confession.
1653
01:11:34,360 --> 01:11:36,280
- Come on!
- Now he tells us!
1654
01:11:36,880 --> 01:11:37,720
What do you think?
1655
01:11:38,920 --> 01:11:40,760
Do we have mixed jails
in this country?
1656
01:11:41,560 --> 01:11:42,840
No, we're very backwards.
1657
01:11:45,720 --> 01:11:46,600
There they are!
1658
01:11:47,800 --> 01:11:49,400
[ CHEERS ]
1659
01:11:55,600 --> 01:11:56,400
Good evening.
1660
01:11:56,720 --> 01:11:57,800
Is this the stuff?
1661
01:11:58,040 --> 01:12:00,000
- Yes, I'm afraid...
- It's all here except £20 worth.
1662
01:12:00,120 --> 01:12:02,680
Counted it too, eh?
Nice work!
1663
01:12:03,280 --> 01:12:04,680
I'm very proud of you, Cookson.
1664
01:12:05,240 --> 01:12:07,480
- You are, sir?
- Yes. And you, Dexter!
1665
01:12:07,760 --> 01:12:09,000
The man has confessed everything.
1666
01:12:09,640 --> 01:12:11,480
How much is "everything"?
1667
01:12:11,680 --> 01:12:14,680
Well, how they tackled him on the
fire escape and brought him to book.
1668
01:12:15,560 --> 01:12:17,160
Although I must say, I'm
a little surprised.
1669
01:12:17,160 --> 01:12:18,080
No more than we are, sir.
1670
01:12:18,360 --> 01:12:20,800
Because the fire escape happens
to be in the women's quarters.
1671
01:12:21,920 --> 01:12:23,560
Better not ask what
you were doing there!
1672
01:12:23,760 --> 01:12:24,640
[ CHUCKLES ]
1673
01:12:24,720 --> 01:12:25,640
[ THROAT CLEARING ]
1674
01:12:25,880 --> 01:12:27,480
That's very sporting of you, sir.
1675
01:12:28,320 --> 01:12:31,000
I wonder if it would be
possible to see Sam?
1676
01:12:31,280 --> 01:12:32,280
The accused, sir.
1677
01:12:32,560 --> 01:12:34,280
I think so, you're not proposing to
1678
01:12:34,280 --> 01:12:36,680
slip him a hair pin and gelignite
or anything, are you?
1679
01:12:37,800 --> 01:12:38,680
Thank you.
1680
01:12:40,920 --> 01:12:41,880
Got to see my dentist.
1681
01:12:42,200 --> 01:12:44,240
Sam, I don't know
what to say to you.
1682
01:12:44,240 --> 01:12:45,400
- Oh, don't worry!
- Thanks Sam!
1683
01:12:45,400 --> 01:12:47,400
Quick fellows, a tune.
"For they are jolly good fellows."
1684
01:12:48,400 --> 01:12:50,600
? For they are jolly good fellows...
1685
01:12:50,600 --> 01:12:52,600
[ ALL SINGING TOGETHER ]
1686
01:12:57,560 --> 01:12:59,560
Here come the balloons!
1687
01:12:59,960 --> 01:13:01,840
[ CHEERS ]
1688
01:13:04,000 --> 01:13:05,520
[ BALLOONS BURSTING ]
1689
01:13:07,440 --> 01:13:08,800
Can you smell something?
1690
01:13:10,280 --> 01:13:11,600
Only coppers.
1691
01:13:11,600 --> 01:13:13,720
- It's nitrous oxide.
- What's that?
1692
01:13:14,840 --> 01:13:15,960
Laughing gas!
1693
01:13:18,400 --> 01:13:19,960
[ ALL LAUGH ]
1694
01:13:23,960 --> 01:13:25,960
[ SHRIEKS OF LAUGHTER ]
1695
01:13:29,400 --> 01:13:30,600
I demand to know
1696
01:13:30,880 --> 01:13:32,200
who did this, Cookson?
1697
01:13:41,000 --> 01:13:42,560
[ BOTH ] We did!
1698
01:13:42,600 --> 01:13:44,080
I've a good mind to suspend you.
1699
01:13:44,080 --> 01:13:46,560
- Suspend us!
- For three months.
1700
01:13:47,600 --> 01:13:49,680
Six months... for laughing.
1701
01:13:53,280 --> 01:13:54,680
Open the windows!
1702
01:13:55,360 --> 01:13:56,720
Time to go, sir.
1703
01:14:13,120 --> 01:14:14,040
Goodbye sir.
1704
01:14:16,040 --> 01:14:18,480
You know, I've certainly become
interested in the old...
1705
01:14:18,480 --> 01:14:21,440
what do you call it, orthodontics
and that, since I've been here.
1706
01:14:22,600 --> 01:14:23,640
How long will you...
1707
01:14:24,040 --> 01:14:25,000
be away?
1708
01:14:25,200 --> 01:14:27,280
Oh, well, be about...
1709
01:14:27,560 --> 01:14:28,440
six months, will it?
1710
01:14:28,720 --> 01:14:30,120
[ HOWLS OF LAUGHTER ]
1711
01:14:32,120 --> 01:14:34,120
[ CHATTERING ]
1712
01:14:41,040 --> 01:14:42,120
Attention, girls.
1713
01:14:44,560 --> 01:14:46,120
Cor, well!
1714
01:14:46,720 --> 01:14:48,720
I think in six months I
can deal with this lot!
1715
01:14:50,720 --> 01:14:52,720
[ SEDUCTIVE MUSIC ]
1716
01:14:57,640 --> 01:14:59,040
Phwoar!
1717
01:14:59,520 --> 01:15:00,240
[ CLICK ]
1718
01:15:01,000 --> 01:15:03,000
Oh, crikey!
1719
01:15:05,560 --> 01:15:06,840
[ GLASS SMASHING ]
1720
01:15:06,840 --> 01:15:08,360
[ WOMAN SHRIEKING ]
1721
01:15:09,120 --> 01:15:10,520
[ WOMAN LAUGHING LOUDLY ]
1722
01:15:13,320 --> 01:15:15,600
[ PLAYFUL MUSIC ]
119175
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