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This programme contains
strong language and adult humour
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♪ Oh, Mandy
3
00:00:06,020 --> 00:00:08,196
♪ Well, you came and
you gave without taking
4
00:00:08,220 --> 00:00:09,916
♪ But I sent you away
5
00:00:09,940 --> 00:00:11,556
♪ Oh, Mandy
6
00:00:11,580 --> 00:00:16,756
♪ Well, you kissed me
and stopped me from shaking
7
00:00:16,780 --> 00:00:19,036
♪ And I need you today
8
00:00:19,060 --> 00:00:21,660
♪ Oh, Mandy. ♪
9
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So, what kind of work
are you interested in?
10
00:00:26,940 --> 00:00:31,036
I like mindless tasks. You know,
something I can do with my hands.
11
00:00:31,060 --> 00:00:33,060
OK, let's have a little look.
12
00:00:36,060 --> 00:00:37,796
Don't touch that, please.
13
00:00:37,820 --> 00:00:41,196
Oh, here's a bit of luck. There's
a position here packing fruit
14
00:00:41,220 --> 00:00:44,796
at a food distribution factory.
Oh, no. That doesn't sound like me.
15
00:00:44,820 --> 00:00:48,116
It's either that or you'll have to
attend an adult training course
16
00:00:48,140 --> 00:00:51,596
to improve your interview technique.
That doesn't sound like me either.
17
00:00:51,620 --> 00:00:54,756
Well, you've got to do one of them
or I'll have to dock your benefits.
18
00:00:54,780 --> 00:00:57,436
Fruit factory or adult training
course? It's up to you.
19
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It's like Sophie's Choice, in't it?
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00:01:01,460 --> 00:01:03,060
♪ Job-seeker
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00:01:06,540 --> 00:01:08,140
♪ Job-seeker... ♪
22
00:01:12,060 --> 00:01:14,060
Please watch the video.
23
00:01:18,540 --> 00:01:21,916
Welcome to your new job
at Gone Bananas,
24
00:01:21,940 --> 00:01:26,036
the banana processing
and distribution centre!
25
00:01:26,060 --> 00:01:31,196
Please pay attention to this short
health and safety presentation.
26
00:01:31,220 --> 00:01:35,516
Processing and distributing
up to 20,000 bananas a day,
27
00:01:35,540 --> 00:01:38,756
we are proud to have
the sixth highest volume
28
00:01:38,780 --> 00:01:42,756
of any banana processing and
distribution centre in the UK
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00:01:42,780 --> 00:01:45,036
and North Europe region.
30
00:01:45,060 --> 00:01:49,516
And all this with the third best
health and safety record.
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Let's keep it that way.
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This is Mick. Mick was brought
on board to replace Jill,
33
00:01:58,060 --> 00:02:01,276
who was sadly killed
in a banana processing
34
00:02:01,300 --> 00:02:03,676
and distribution incident.
35
00:02:03,700 --> 00:02:07,356
Don't let what happened to Jill
happen to Mick
36
00:02:07,380 --> 00:02:09,060
or to you.
37
00:02:14,060 --> 00:02:15,756
These are laminates.
38
00:02:15,780 --> 00:02:19,036
It is particularly important
you familiarise yourselves
39
00:02:19,060 --> 00:02:20,756
with this one.
40
00:02:20,780 --> 00:02:24,036
This is a deadly spider
from north Africa.
41
00:02:24,060 --> 00:02:27,476
If you see it, you must smash it
with your hammer.
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00:02:27,500 --> 00:02:30,060
And remember the Gone Bananas code.
43
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One to stun, two to kill,
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three to make sure.
45
00:02:37,580 --> 00:02:39,540
DRAMATIC JINGLE PLAYS
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Did you watch the video? Yeah, yeah.
That were dead informative, that.
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00:02:50,060 --> 00:02:53,116
Thanks for that. Great.
I will see you on Monday, then.
48
00:02:53,140 --> 00:02:54,540
All right.
49
00:02:56,300 --> 00:02:58,276
Have you been smoking?
50
00:02:58,300 --> 00:02:59,700
No.
51
00:03:00,700 --> 00:03:03,060
No, it were like this
when I come in.
52
00:03:04,780 --> 00:03:06,196
Minty Peak?
53
00:03:06,220 --> 00:03:09,276
Actually, have you got something
all grown-up and executive?
54
00:03:09,300 --> 00:03:11,596
You know, something that says
conference call?
55
00:03:11,620 --> 00:03:14,116
No Minty Peak? I've got a new job.
56
00:03:14,140 --> 00:03:16,596
Oh, that is wonderful news, Mandy.
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00:03:16,620 --> 00:03:18,756
What is it? At the banana factory.
58
00:03:18,780 --> 00:03:22,276
I'm an arachnid control operative.
What is that?
59
00:03:22,300 --> 00:03:24,756
Spiders, Lol!
They come in on the bananas.
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00:03:24,780 --> 00:03:28,156
It's my job to smash 'em.
It's a very important role.
61
00:03:28,180 --> 00:03:30,756
Why don't they smash them
at their end?
62
00:03:30,780 --> 00:03:33,516
I don't know, but I'm quids in here.
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00:03:33,540 --> 00:03:35,516
I am so happy for you, Mandy.
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Can I ask you something?
65
00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:39,636
How exactly do you kill
the arachnids?
66
00:03:39,660 --> 00:03:42,156
♪ Day-o... ♪
67
00:03:42,180 --> 00:03:45,276
One to stun, two to kill,
three to make sure.
68
00:03:45,300 --> 00:03:47,516
♪ Daylight come and me... ♪
69
00:03:47,540 --> 00:03:50,540
One to stun, two to kill,
three to make sure.
70
00:03:52,060 --> 00:03:56,036
♪ Work all night and drink a rum
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00:03:56,060 --> 00:04:00,036
♪ Daylight come and me wanna go home
72
00:04:00,060 --> 00:04:04,036
♪ Stack banana till the morning come
73
00:04:04,060 --> 00:04:07,796
♪ Daylight come and me wanna go home
74
00:04:07,820 --> 00:04:12,036
♪ Come mister tally man,
tally me banana
75
00:04:12,060 --> 00:04:15,756
♪ Daylight come and me wanna go home
76
00:04:15,780 --> 00:04:19,676
♪ Come mister tally man,
tally me banana
77
00:04:19,700 --> 00:04:23,516
♪ Daylight come and me wanna go home
78
00:04:23,540 --> 00:04:27,516
♪ Lift six foot, seven foot,
eight foot bunch
79
00:04:27,540 --> 00:04:31,356
♪ Daylight come and me wanna go home
80
00:04:31,380 --> 00:04:34,956
♪ Six foot, seven foot,
eight foot bunch
81
00:04:34,980 --> 00:04:39,356
♪ Daylight come and me wanna go home
82
00:04:39,380 --> 00:04:40,756
♪ Day
83
00:04:40,780 --> 00:04:43,036
♪ Me say day-o
84
00:04:43,060 --> 00:04:47,036
♪ Daylight come and me wanna go home
85
00:04:47,060 --> 00:04:48,516
♪ Day
86
00:04:48,540 --> 00:04:51,276
♪ Me say day, me say day, me say day
87
00:04:51,300 --> 00:04:54,756
♪ Daylight come and me wanna go home
88
00:04:54,780 --> 00:04:58,756
♪ A beautiful bunch of ripe banana
89
00:04:58,780 --> 00:05:02,756
♪ Daylight come and me wanna go home
90
00:05:02,780 --> 00:05:06,756
♪ Hide the deadly black tarantula
91
00:05:06,780 --> 00:05:10,396
♪ Daylight come and me wanna go home
92
00:05:10,420 --> 00:05:14,756
♪ Lift six foot, seven foot,
eight foot bunch
93
00:05:14,780 --> 00:05:17,116
♪ Daylight come and me wanna... ♪
94
00:05:17,140 --> 00:05:20,036
These are for you. Bananas?
95
00:05:20,060 --> 00:05:23,780
You get to take the black ones home.
Oh, great. Ta.
96
00:05:26,300 --> 00:05:27,756
♪ Day
97
00:05:27,780 --> 00:05:29,916
♪ Me say day-o
98
00:05:29,940 --> 00:05:34,036
♪ Daylight come and me wanna go home
99
00:05:34,060 --> 00:05:36,260
♪ Day-o
100
00:05:37,260 --> 00:05:38,860
♪ Day-o
101
00:05:39,860 --> 00:05:42,276
♪ Daylight come
102
00:05:42,300 --> 00:05:48,060
♪ And me wanna go home. ♪
103
00:06:05,300 --> 00:06:07,780
Something terrible has happened.
104
00:06:23,060 --> 00:06:25,516
I bloody loved that job, Lola.
105
00:06:25,540 --> 00:06:27,676
I were good at it, too.
106
00:06:27,700 --> 00:06:30,540
Shh. Dear, dear, never mind.
107
00:06:31,540 --> 00:06:36,060
It weren't my fault, though. They're
really fast, some of these spiders.
108
00:06:38,620 --> 00:06:40,516
What is the latest death toll?
109
00:06:40,540 --> 00:06:42,060
17.
110
00:06:53,380 --> 00:06:55,556
It's not all bad news, though.
111
00:06:55,580 --> 00:06:57,940
I've got a phone interview
in the morning.
112
00:06:59,540 --> 00:07:01,780
I might not mention the 17 dead.
113
00:07:03,660 --> 00:07:06,036
What makes you think
you're the right person
114
00:07:06,060 --> 00:07:08,676
to join Chicken Bungalow?
I like fried chicken.
115
00:07:08,700 --> 00:07:10,636
I have it most nights.
116
00:07:10,660 --> 00:07:14,196
I like other people who eat fried
chicken, so I assume we'd get on,
117
00:07:14,220 --> 00:07:17,460
and I always wash my hands, not
just when I've done a number two.
118
00:07:18,460 --> 00:07:20,836
Where do you see yourself
in five years?
119
00:07:20,860 --> 00:07:23,516
Well, if I'm not breeding
Dobermann Pinschers,
120
00:07:23,540 --> 00:07:26,420
hopefully I'll be working for you
just frying chicken.
121
00:07:27,420 --> 00:07:29,276
What are your strengths?
122
00:07:29,300 --> 00:07:31,036
I'm not a grass.
123
00:07:31,060 --> 00:07:34,036
I might be some things
but I'm not a grass.
124
00:07:34,060 --> 00:07:36,780
Oh, and I can swallow
a tangerine whole.
125
00:07:37,780 --> 00:07:39,516
TOILET FLUSHES
126
00:07:39,540 --> 00:07:42,196
When can you let me know by?
127
00:07:42,220 --> 00:07:44,180
♪ Job-seeker
128
00:07:47,060 --> 00:07:48,780
♪ Job-seeker... ♪
129
00:07:52,940 --> 00:07:55,036
Cheers for taking a chance on me.
130
00:07:55,060 --> 00:07:59,300
Well, to be honest, you were
the only applicant. Oh, fantastic.
131
00:08:00,860 --> 00:08:02,620
I won't let you down.
132
00:08:06,700 --> 00:08:10,060
Is it all right if I go on my
break now? I'm gasping for a fag.
133
00:08:11,300 --> 00:08:12,756
Yeah, all right.
134
00:08:12,780 --> 00:08:15,596
Just make sure you're not seen
smoking in your uniform.
135
00:08:15,620 --> 00:08:18,116
It's not the healthy image
we want to portray.
136
00:08:18,140 --> 00:08:19,380
Yeah.
137
00:08:50,700 --> 00:08:52,300
FAN WHIRS
138
00:08:56,460 --> 00:08:58,500
FAN CHUGS
139
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Shit.
140
00:09:07,140 --> 00:09:09,060
Oh, fuckin' hell.
141
00:09:14,060 --> 00:09:15,700
Cheers. Thanks.
142
00:09:16,700 --> 00:09:18,060
One second.
143
00:09:20,540 --> 00:09:22,356
We've just got a...
144
00:09:22,380 --> 00:09:23,900
new person.
145
00:09:25,620 --> 00:09:27,340
Oh, shit.
146
00:09:29,300 --> 00:09:31,500
Oh, fuckin' shit.
147
00:09:32,500 --> 00:09:35,060
FAN CHUGS Jesus.
148
00:09:36,060 --> 00:09:38,076
SHE BLOWS
149
00:09:38,100 --> 00:09:40,140
SHE COUGHS
150
00:09:41,660 --> 00:09:43,060
Help!
151
00:09:44,060 --> 00:09:46,356
Oh, this is fucking typical.
152
00:09:46,380 --> 00:09:48,276
There you go.
153
00:09:48,300 --> 00:09:50,036
Thanks.
154
00:09:50,060 --> 00:09:51,756
ALARM BLARES
155
00:09:51,780 --> 00:09:53,380
One second.
156
00:10:03,620 --> 00:10:05,396
Have you been smoking?
157
00:10:05,420 --> 00:10:08,060
No, it were like this
when I come in.
158
00:10:11,540 --> 00:10:13,620
What time do you want me tomorrow?
159
00:10:14,620 --> 00:10:16,460
Back again, I see.
160
00:10:18,780 --> 00:10:21,756
Now, Mandy, I've had some feedback
from your recent employers
161
00:10:21,780 --> 00:10:24,356
and it would be helpful and
constructive for you to hear
162
00:10:24,380 --> 00:10:26,796
what they had to say.
Oh, no, I'm all right, thanks.
163
00:10:26,820 --> 00:10:28,676
Mark from Chicken Bungalow said,
164
00:10:28,700 --> 00:10:31,036
"She burned down
my chicken restaurant."
165
00:10:31,060 --> 00:10:33,836
And the banana people said
thanks to your negligence,
166
00:10:33,860 --> 00:10:35,516
17 lives were lost.
167
00:10:35,540 --> 00:10:37,516
I knew they'd dredge that up.
168
00:10:37,540 --> 00:10:40,436
And all of them said they thought
you could do with some work
169
00:10:40,460 --> 00:10:43,516
on your interview skills
so I'm afraid I am going to insist
170
00:10:43,540 --> 00:10:46,580
that you go on the adult
training course. Fuckin' hell!
171
00:10:50,300 --> 00:10:52,060
♪ Job-seeker
172
00:10:55,300 --> 00:10:57,060
♪ Job-seeker
173
00:11:00,300 --> 00:11:02,060
♪ Job-seeker
174
00:11:05,780 --> 00:11:07,540
♪ Job-seeker
175
00:11:11,060 --> 00:11:12,700
♪ Job-seeker
176
00:11:16,140 --> 00:11:17,516
♪ Job-seeker... ♪
177
00:11:17,540 --> 00:11:19,036
Right, who's next?
178
00:11:19,060 --> 00:11:20,540
Come on, then.
179
00:11:23,540 --> 00:11:26,556
OK, if you could just stand
there on your mark, please.
180
00:11:26,580 --> 00:11:28,276
How tall are you?
181
00:11:28,300 --> 00:11:29,836
No idea.
182
00:11:29,860 --> 00:11:33,036
Somewhere between Dudley Moore
and Richard Osmond.
183
00:11:33,060 --> 00:11:37,636
Right. OK. Just read this for us,
please, in your own time.
184
00:11:37,660 --> 00:11:39,300
♪ Job-seeker
185
00:11:42,380 --> 00:11:44,060
♪ Job-seeker... ♪
186
00:11:47,260 --> 00:11:50,676
A couple of things to discuss,
Mandy. Fuckin' ell. What now?
187
00:11:50,700 --> 00:11:53,956
First of all, you didn't attend
the adult training course as agreed.
188
00:11:53,980 --> 00:11:55,756
I did. I definitely went there.
189
00:11:55,780 --> 00:11:58,580
Well, you didn't sign the register.
Didn't I? No.
190
00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:03,436
It's so long ago now. It was last
Wednesday. You can't expect me to
191
00:12:03,460 --> 00:12:05,876
remember everything
that's ever happened. Jesus!
192
00:12:05,900 --> 00:12:09,380
Secondly, have you been doing any
paid work over the last two weeks?
193
00:12:10,780 --> 00:12:13,356
No. Because it's come
to my attention, Mandy,
194
00:12:13,380 --> 00:12:16,476
that you've actually been working.
I haven't.
195
00:12:16,500 --> 00:12:19,556
You haven't appeared in a commercial
for a payday loans company?
196
00:12:19,580 --> 00:12:21,476
Who's told you that?
197
00:12:21,500 --> 00:12:23,700
Mandy, your face is everywhere.
198
00:12:24,700 --> 00:12:28,540
She just looks like me. What about
her? Does she look like you?
199
00:12:29,900 --> 00:12:31,436
What about this?
200
00:12:31,460 --> 00:12:34,516
Are you desperate for some cash
but don't have any family members
201
00:12:34,540 --> 00:12:36,436
willing to bail you out again?
202
00:12:36,460 --> 00:12:38,316
Then try Cash Maggot.
203
00:12:38,340 --> 00:12:40,276
Too many bills this month?
204
00:12:40,300 --> 00:12:43,436
Visit Cash Maggot and get
the money you need today.
205
00:12:43,460 --> 00:12:45,276
It's so quick and simple.
206
00:12:45,300 --> 00:12:48,916
There's nothing to fax
and no boring paperwork to send.
207
00:12:48,940 --> 00:12:51,756
I'm a cash maggot.
I am a cash maggot.
208
00:12:51,780 --> 00:12:54,516
I'm a cash maggot.
I'm a cash maggot!
209
00:12:54,540 --> 00:12:56,436
Call Cash Maggot now
210
00:12:56,460 --> 00:12:59,916
and you can have up to £300
in your account straight away.
211
00:12:59,940 --> 00:13:02,836
I'm a cash maggot. He is.
I am. She is.
212
00:13:02,860 --> 00:13:05,516
I am. She is. I am. They are.
213
00:13:05,540 --> 00:13:07,276
He definitely is.
214
00:13:07,300 --> 00:13:09,036
ALL: Thanks, Cash Maggot!
215
00:13:09,060 --> 00:13:10,676
Representative APR 91%.
216
00:13:10,700 --> 00:13:13,436
Your home may be at risk
if you do not keep up repayments.
217
00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:16,436
The fact that you're mouthing
the words suggests that it's you.
218
00:13:16,460 --> 00:13:18,836
So how much did you get paid?
Nothing.
219
00:13:18,860 --> 00:13:20,476
Yet.
220
00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:22,540
How much will you be getting?
221
00:13:23,540 --> 00:13:26,020
It were only a day. I mean...
How much?
222
00:13:27,020 --> 00:13:28,596
30 grand.
223
00:13:28,620 --> 00:13:31,060
Sorry, what was that? £30,000.
224
00:13:33,060 --> 00:13:37,036
Mandy, we take benefit fraud
very seriously here.
225
00:13:37,060 --> 00:13:40,276
OK? There's a strict procedure
for this. I have to refer it
226
00:13:40,300 --> 00:13:43,116
to my line manager.
She'll have to refer it to legal.
227
00:13:43,140 --> 00:13:45,556
They'll open a full investigation,
work out...
228
00:13:45,580 --> 00:13:47,276
♪ Day-o
229
00:13:47,300 --> 00:13:49,380
♪ Da-a-ay-o
230
00:13:50,380 --> 00:13:54,516
♪ Daylight come
and me wanna go home...
231
00:13:54,540 --> 00:13:56,996
You've got 30 days to appeal it.
232
00:13:57,020 --> 00:13:59,356
♪ Me say day, me say day, me say day
233
00:13:59,380 --> 00:14:01,196
♪ Me say day, me say day-o... ♪
234
00:14:01,220 --> 00:14:02,900
A custodial sentence.
235
00:14:03,900 --> 00:14:05,460
♪ Job-seeker
236
00:14:18,540 --> 00:14:20,060
♪ Bo! ♪
17454
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