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[announcer] From the newsroom,
this is Channel 9 News.
4
00:00:19,186 --> 00:00:21,230
[anchor] Police are asking
for any information
5
00:00:21,313 --> 00:00:24,275
that could lead to the capture
of the Winter General and his associates,
6
00:00:24,358 --> 00:00:27,153
who have been identified
on surveillance footage in connection
7
00:00:27,236 --> 00:00:29,155
with the recent disappearance
of the mayor.
8
00:00:29,238 --> 00:00:32,992
This is the latest in a string of crimes
since the ratifying of the 28th Amendment,
9
00:00:33,075 --> 00:00:36,537
granting superpowers as a human right
for both heroes and villains.
10
00:00:36,620 --> 00:00:38,914
Reports indicate
that power-enhancement drugs
11
00:00:38,998 --> 00:00:41,375
are being dealt on the streets
to the highest bidder,
12
00:00:41,459 --> 00:00:43,794
potentially exacerbating the crime wave.
13
00:00:43,878 --> 00:00:47,590
Captain Justice and his team are
working tirelessly to find the suspects
14
00:00:47,673 --> 00:00:50,885
and put an end to this illegal
drug trade before it's too late.
15
00:00:50,968 --> 00:00:53,971
[dramatic electronic-rock music playing]
16
00:01:02,938 --> 00:01:04,106
[mayor] Please help me.
17
00:01:09,528 --> 00:01:10,529
She looks nice.
18
00:01:11,113 --> 00:01:12,072
Beatrix.
19
00:01:25,377 --> 00:01:29,340
♪ Unh, unh, yeah, what? ♪
20
00:01:29,423 --> 00:01:32,301
♪ Hey, yo, uh-huh ♪
21
00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:35,638
♪ Oh ♪
22
00:01:38,849 --> 00:01:40,684
How do we even know these work?
23
00:01:40,768 --> 00:01:44,188
♪ Ah, oh, mm, mm ♪
24
00:01:46,607 --> 00:01:47,483
Fair enough.
25
00:02:00,162 --> 00:02:01,705
The mutant genome spider.
26
00:02:01,789 --> 00:02:05,876
The world's most poisonous spider,
and yet a true pacifist... [chuckles]
27
00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:09,088
unless provoked, such as when
defending its familial group against--
28
00:02:09,171 --> 00:02:09,839
Quiet.
29
00:02:12,007 --> 00:02:13,092
♪ Ah ♪
30
00:02:14,176 --> 00:02:16,762
Should we be aware of any side effects?
31
00:02:17,471 --> 00:02:18,639
Mm!
32
00:02:18,722 --> 00:02:22,268
Like, will these give him, like,
fingernail sensitivity, or--?
33
00:02:22,351 --> 00:02:24,937
-Insomnia?
-High T? Low T?
34
00:02:25,020 --> 00:02:26,939
-No T?
-What about hot flashes?
35
00:02:27,022 --> 00:02:29,233
Because he is
the Winter General, after all.
36
00:02:29,316 --> 00:02:32,528
-That could be devastating.
-It could ruin things for all of us.
37
00:02:32,611 --> 00:02:35,823
Did we already talk about his liver?
Because he already has cirrhosis.
38
00:02:35,906 --> 00:02:37,867
Sort of runs in his family, the cirrhosis.
39
00:02:37,950 --> 00:02:40,077
-[Beatrix] Yeah, it's, uh, genetic.
-Yeah.
40
00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:43,372
-I would like to know about the urination.
-Color, texture.
41
00:02:43,455 --> 00:02:44,790
It'll still be liquid, right?
42
00:02:44,874 --> 00:02:47,626
What if he becomes pregnant
or may become pregnant?
43
00:02:47,710 --> 00:02:50,212
-Can he become pregnant if he wants to?
-Silence!
44
00:02:51,714 --> 00:02:53,382
It's not addictive, though, is it?
45
00:02:53,465 --> 00:02:55,384
Because we already have an opioid crisis.
46
00:02:55,467 --> 00:02:57,970
That's not this master's plan.
That's Big Pharma's plan.
47
00:02:58,053 --> 00:02:58,804
Hey-o.
48
00:02:58,888 --> 00:03:01,515
Not to be too political.
Sorry, I'm really nervous.
49
00:03:01,599 --> 00:03:03,767
-Do you wanna see a magic--?
-Beatrix, Cain!
50
00:03:04,935 --> 00:03:06,395
It's a good one.
51
00:03:08,731 --> 00:03:10,316
What has gotten into you two?
52
00:03:15,029 --> 00:03:17,406
♪ Ah, ooh, mm ♪
53
00:03:17,489 --> 00:03:18,741
It's confirmed.
54
00:03:18,824 --> 00:03:21,201
Captain Justice is on the way.
55
00:03:21,285 --> 00:03:22,828
He fell for the bait.
56
00:03:22,912 --> 00:03:24,413
Go us!
57
00:03:24,496 --> 00:03:26,206
[Winter General chuckles]
58
00:03:26,874 --> 00:03:30,294
It seems Captain Justice
is falling into my trap, Mr. Mayor.
59
00:03:30,377 --> 00:03:32,755
You're not gonna get away
with this, Winter General.
60
00:03:32,838 --> 00:03:34,089
Won't I?
61
00:03:34,173 --> 00:03:40,679
May the blood of that self-righteous pig
moisturize your angry fists, my liege!
62
00:03:40,763 --> 00:03:42,598
[laughs, then coughs] Ow.
63
00:03:42,681 --> 00:03:44,475
Yes, Harold.
64
00:03:45,142 --> 00:03:46,602
There will be blood.
65
00:03:49,897 --> 00:03:52,691
[hero] I hope you're not
talking about my blood.
66
00:03:53,901 --> 00:03:55,861
'Cause I prefer to keep it to myself.
67
00:03:55,945 --> 00:03:58,030
Captain Justice.
68
00:03:58,113 --> 00:03:59,323
That's me.
69
00:04:01,408 --> 00:04:02,785
Justice Punch!
70
00:04:15,631 --> 00:04:17,466
-Nice toss.
-I know.
71
00:04:19,551 --> 00:04:20,427
[groans]
72
00:04:21,512 --> 00:04:23,138
[laughing]
73
00:04:24,848 --> 00:04:29,395
I have waited for this moment
for a long time.
74
00:04:29,478 --> 00:04:31,355
[Justice groaning]
75
00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:34,817
You call me a villain, and for what?
76
00:04:34,900 --> 00:04:36,151
Because...
77
00:04:40,197 --> 00:04:43,242
[gasps] My favorite shirt
has a hole in it.
78
00:04:43,325 --> 00:04:45,744
[Winter General speaking indistinctly]
79
00:04:45,828 --> 00:04:46,745
Cain.
80
00:04:47,371 --> 00:04:50,666
It is very important that you do not...
81
00:04:51,834 --> 00:04:52,584
move.
82
00:04:52,668 --> 00:04:54,461
-[gasps] Whoa!
-I said, don't move!
83
00:04:54,545 --> 00:04:56,547
[yelling]
84
00:05:00,592 --> 00:05:01,552
Harold.
85
00:05:02,136 --> 00:05:03,137
Harold.
86
00:05:03,220 --> 00:05:06,140
You, who finds himself superior
87
00:05:06,223 --> 00:05:08,434
just because he has signed
a few book deals.
88
00:05:09,768 --> 00:05:12,229
Just put the gun down.
89
00:05:12,896 --> 00:05:15,315
I think it's accepted me
as one of its own.
90
00:05:15,399 --> 00:05:16,859
[quavers]
91
00:05:16,942 --> 00:05:19,445
-I got a clear shot.
-But it's on my face.
92
00:05:19,528 --> 00:05:21,030
-Just turn profile.
-[Cain] No.
93
00:05:21,113 --> 00:05:22,031
-Do it.
-[Cain] Look.
94
00:05:23,032 --> 00:05:24,992
There has to be a better way.
95
00:05:25,075 --> 00:05:28,495
You don't want innocent
mutated-spider blood on your hands.
96
00:05:30,372 --> 00:05:31,874
-Okay.
-[Cain] All right.
97
00:05:32,458 --> 00:05:33,667
-[gunshot]
-[Beatrix yelps]
98
00:05:34,918 --> 00:05:35,836
[Beatrix] Okay.
99
00:05:36,420 --> 00:05:37,171
I got this.
100
00:05:37,254 --> 00:05:38,964
-What are you doing?
-Sleight of hand.
101
00:05:39,048 --> 00:05:40,883
-No.
-I got this. I got this. I got this.
102
00:05:40,966 --> 00:05:43,469
-Okay. Okay. You got this.
-I got this. I got this.
103
00:05:43,552 --> 00:05:46,430
[Winter General] Spare the rod,
spoil the civilization.
104
00:05:46,513 --> 00:05:49,058
And that includes its so-called protector.
105
00:05:49,141 --> 00:05:52,519
And so, Captain, you must see.
106
00:05:53,395 --> 00:05:55,064
I can't. I can't.
107
00:05:56,231 --> 00:05:59,276
-[Cain] You can do this.
-Even with all your power...
108
00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:00,861
-On three.
-Okay.
109
00:06:00,944 --> 00:06:03,697
...you must die.
110
00:06:03,781 --> 00:06:05,741
-One.
-Goodbye, Brother Spider.
111
00:06:05,824 --> 00:06:07,659
[suspenseful choral music playing]
112
00:06:07,743 --> 00:06:08,744
-Two!
-[screams]
113
00:06:18,170 --> 00:06:18,962
[yelps]
114
00:06:23,634 --> 00:06:27,221
[suspenseful choral music continues]
115
00:06:28,889 --> 00:06:31,100
-Master?
-Brother Spider?
116
00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:34,478
Thanks, guys.
117
00:06:35,604 --> 00:06:37,272
Couldn't have done it without you.
118
00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:44,113
Ahh. Justice Juice.
Bring thirst to justice.
119
00:06:45,614 --> 00:06:46,365
Mayor.
120
00:06:47,658 --> 00:06:48,867
Catch you all later.
121
00:06:54,665 --> 00:06:56,416
Do you think he's gonna be okay?
122
00:06:57,376 --> 00:06:58,794
[Beatrix] Probably not.
123
00:06:58,877 --> 00:07:00,379
[country-folk music playing]
124
00:07:00,462 --> 00:07:03,507
Brothers and sisters...
[speaking indistinctly]
125
00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:08,470
♪ Well, he knew he had it comin'
His dreaded fateful end ♪
126
00:07:08,554 --> 00:07:13,267
♪ He sat up in the saddle
A capital truly misspent ♪
127
00:07:13,350 --> 00:07:15,978
♪ But the winter's bite
And the bitter cold ♪
128
00:07:16,061 --> 00:07:21,191
♪ Couldn't stop him
From hitting his threshold ♪
129
00:07:21,275 --> 00:07:22,526
[Harold sobbing]
130
00:07:22,609 --> 00:07:25,696
♪ Now they're off
On the old lone prairie... ♪
131
00:07:25,779 --> 00:07:27,531
[Harold] I love you, master!
132
00:07:27,614 --> 00:07:32,244
♪ A coyote passed the cottage mill
Over by the fisherman's bend ♪
133
00:07:32,327 --> 00:07:35,038
♪ He sings his song from dusk till dawn ♪
134
00:07:35,122 --> 00:07:39,418
♪ Hi-oh-hi ♪
135
00:07:39,501 --> 00:07:42,129
♪ His howls echo through the air ♪
136
00:07:42,212 --> 00:07:46,258
♪ Weeping for this cowboy
As he cries all night ♪
137
00:07:46,341 --> 00:07:48,719
♪ Through the wake of day ♪
138
00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:53,515
♪ Doggy, don't lay down
Don't rest your legs ♪
139
00:07:53,599 --> 00:07:58,228
♪ You must find the strength
Coyote's on his way ♪
140
00:07:58,312 --> 00:08:00,606
♪ You can hear him howl ♪
141
00:08:00,689 --> 00:08:04,067
♪ Hoo-ooh ♪
142
00:08:04,151 --> 00:08:06,111
♪ Hi-ooh ♪
143
00:08:06,195 --> 00:08:08,906
♪ Hi-ooh ♪
144
00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:11,366
♪ Hi-ooh ♪
145
00:08:11,450 --> 00:08:16,288
♪ Hi-ooh ♪
146
00:08:16,371 --> 00:08:20,667
♪ Now the rough roads keep on turnin'
But the bronco's dance won't end ♪
147
00:08:20,751 --> 00:08:25,797
♪ In his stone-cold weeping cowboy's heart
That pony's loyal till the end ♪
148
00:08:25,881 --> 00:08:28,300
♪ Though his buck may throw him
In the dust ♪
149
00:08:28,383 --> 00:08:33,722
♪ A cowboy knows it's in him he trusts ♪
150
00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:40,062
♪ So now wise on up, young cowboy
Whoop up those cattle again ♪
151
00:08:40,145 --> 00:08:44,775
♪ Go strap up on your silver spurs
And show 'em who will win ♪
152
00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:47,527
♪ That coyote's song will ring along ♪
153
00:08:47,611 --> 00:08:51,907
♪ Hi-oh-hi ♪
154
00:08:51,990 --> 00:08:54,660
♪ His howls echo through the air ♪
155
00:08:54,743 --> 00:08:55,786
♪ Weeping for the... ♪
156
00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:57,788
[song continues indistinctly
over speakers]
157
00:08:57,871 --> 00:09:02,292
-[woman speaking indistinctly on TV]
-[man speaking indistinctly on radio]
158
00:09:06,129 --> 00:09:08,548
[Beatrix] Mm, Mama likes that storefront.
159
00:09:13,929 --> 00:09:15,847
Hoo. Powers.
160
00:09:15,931 --> 00:09:18,225
[Harold] Feeling hungry?
161
00:09:18,308 --> 00:09:19,393
No, thanks.
162
00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:22,980
Wow, free gruel and you're ungrateful.
163
00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:25,482
You know, there are henchmen
in China who are starving.
164
00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:27,276
Well, lots of people
in China are starving.
165
00:09:27,359 --> 00:09:28,694
Yeah, it's pretty cool.
166
00:09:29,486 --> 00:09:30,570
[coughs]
167
00:09:30,654 --> 00:09:33,365
Harold, aren't you tired
of eating that stuff every day?
168
00:09:33,448 --> 00:09:34,449
No.
169
00:09:34,533 --> 00:09:36,535
How about watching
your bosses get blown up?
170
00:09:36,618 --> 00:09:38,662
-Too soon.
-See? I know you don't like that.
171
00:09:38,745 --> 00:09:41,456
Or watching SEAL Team 6
take him out while you're trying to sleep.
172
00:09:41,540 --> 00:09:42,749
What happened to that guy?
173
00:09:42,833 --> 00:09:45,002
He died, Harold.
That's what we're talking about.
174
00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:48,505
That's why we've been saving up our money
for ten years to go independent.
175
00:09:49,298 --> 00:09:52,175
Now, we all know
world domination takes money.
176
00:09:52,259 --> 00:09:54,636
The projected cost is $1 billion.
177
00:09:54,720 --> 00:09:56,888
-And we are a little short of it.
-That's right.
178
00:09:56,972 --> 00:09:59,891
But after today,
we will have enough to start this.
179
00:09:59,975 --> 00:10:01,768
-[laughs]
-[Beatrix] Killer Petco.
180
00:10:01,852 --> 00:10:04,646
The world's first evil pet store.
Working title.
181
00:10:04,730 --> 00:10:07,691
'Cause supervillains love to have
their sinister pet sidekicks.
182
00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:09,318
They do indeed.
183
00:10:09,401 --> 00:10:12,821
So we slowly permeate the market
selling pets to villains.
184
00:10:12,904 --> 00:10:15,157
But we secretly train them
with a kill switch
185
00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:17,326
to turn on their owners
when the time is right.
186
00:10:17,409 --> 00:10:20,329
And, thanks to some legalese
in the contract at the point of sale
187
00:10:20,412 --> 00:10:21,913
naming us the sole beneficiaries,
188
00:10:21,997 --> 00:10:24,333
we simultaneously eliminate competition
189
00:10:24,416 --> 00:10:27,878
and gain the wealth and assets
for world domination.
190
00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:29,338
I love that.
191
00:10:29,421 --> 00:10:33,383
One note, do we have to do
the kill-switch part?
192
00:10:34,593 --> 00:10:35,469
What do you mean?
193
00:10:35,552 --> 00:10:38,513
I just don't really like the idea
of us killing anyone.
194
00:10:38,597 --> 00:10:41,058
Well, it's world domination, Cain.
People get killed.
195
00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:43,310
Does it have to be our evil overlords?
196
00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:45,937
-Yes.
-Why?
197
00:10:46,772 --> 00:10:48,190
Because that's the plan.
198
00:10:48,273 --> 00:10:50,192
-Maybe we should take a vote.
-No, no vote.
199
00:10:50,275 --> 00:10:51,568
Let's just get our money
200
00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:56,281
and then figure out a more nonlethal,
villain-friendly kill switch. Deal?
201
00:10:56,365 --> 00:10:58,700
-Deal. Good compromise. Thank you.
-You're welcome.
202
00:10:58,784 --> 00:11:01,244
-Harold, how do you feel?
-[man on TV] ...superhero, Captain...
203
00:11:01,328 --> 00:11:02,162
[Beatrix] Harold.
204
00:11:02,245 --> 00:11:04,581
...after just defeating
the Winter General.
205
00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:06,375
Captain, great to have you on today.
206
00:11:06,458 --> 00:11:09,628
[Justice on TV] I wanna protect
your world, and I wanna give it my all
207
00:11:09,711 --> 00:11:11,421
to show what success looks like.
208
00:11:11,505 --> 00:11:12,881
How'd you do it?
209
00:11:12,964 --> 00:11:15,509
[Justice] You know,
I'm not gonna lie to you, Mike. Uh...
210
00:11:15,592 --> 00:11:18,136
Simply put, I blew him up
with my mind powers.
211
00:11:18,220 --> 00:11:21,098
What? He didn't blow him up.
If anyone did, it was us.
212
00:11:22,724 --> 00:11:24,643
That's a figure of speech.
213
00:11:25,435 --> 00:11:28,230
Hi, Chet. You doing good? Yeah.
214
00:11:28,313 --> 00:11:29,439
[Mike] So brave.
215
00:11:29,523 --> 00:11:30,607
Was it brave?
216
00:11:31,775 --> 00:11:34,694
You know, on my planet,
we don't have a word for "brave."
217
00:11:34,778 --> 00:11:39,950
But what I can tell you, Mike,
is what I did was completely heroic.
218
00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:41,243
Selfless.
219
00:11:41,910 --> 00:11:44,037
-Dang it.
-And pretty much really super neat.
220
00:11:45,122 --> 00:11:46,998
-[Mike] Wow.
-"Wow" is right.
221
00:11:47,874 --> 00:11:51,336
Yes, I may have crazy strength
and infectious charisma,
222
00:11:51,420 --> 00:11:53,755
but in many ways,
I'm a lot like you humans.
223
00:11:53,839 --> 00:11:56,258
I need to replenish my electrolytes.
224
00:11:56,341 --> 00:11:58,677
That's why I drink Justice Juice.
225
00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:01,304
Bring thirst to justice.
226
00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:02,764
Dang, that's catchy.
227
00:12:02,848 --> 00:12:04,266
-[device beeping]
-Hey!
228
00:12:05,350 --> 00:12:07,602
It's our turn, guys. We're up, dudes.
229
00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:09,813
We're still getting paid.
230
00:12:09,896 --> 00:12:12,232
-[computer buzzes]
-Payment denied.
231
00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:15,402
What? Why?
232
00:12:15,485 --> 00:12:18,947
According to your contract
with Mr. The Winter General,
233
00:12:19,030 --> 00:12:21,741
final payment is contingent on,
and I quote,
234
00:12:21,825 --> 00:12:26,163
"the successful takeover
and/or obliteration of the world."
235
00:12:28,165 --> 00:12:29,791
Which, according to our records...
236
00:12:30,584 --> 00:12:31,293
[computer buzzes]
237
00:12:31,668 --> 00:12:33,253
did not happen.
238
00:12:33,962 --> 00:12:36,173
-Seems fair.
-No, that does not seem fair.
239
00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:38,341
It says right there,
"pay for work performed."
240
00:12:38,425 --> 00:12:43,972
"Conditional on Addendum 5033,
Section D, i.e., world domination."
241
00:12:44,055 --> 00:12:45,515
Did you take over the world?
242
00:12:46,892 --> 00:12:47,726
No.
243
00:12:47,809 --> 00:12:50,020
Can't hear you.
Did you take over the world?
244
00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:50,937
No.
245
00:12:51,021 --> 00:12:54,733
Well, payment denied.
I suggest you read all of your contracts.
246
00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:57,235
He tricked us with our own trap.
247
00:12:57,986 --> 00:13:00,322
Yeah. I miss him too.
248
00:13:01,406 --> 00:13:03,074
Ma'am, if I may--
249
00:13:03,158 --> 00:13:04,493
-No.
-Okay.
250
00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:06,244
Listen, Miss...
251
00:13:07,454 --> 00:13:09,789
Lady, we don't care about the union rules.
252
00:13:09,873 --> 00:13:12,667
This was a year's worth of work.
We'll organize a strike.
253
00:13:12,751 --> 00:13:14,169
Then you'll be shot.
254
00:13:14,252 --> 00:13:17,797
Well, maybe not a strike,
but a very angry letter.
255
00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:20,300
Question for the lovely lady.
256
00:13:21,635 --> 00:13:26,723
Is there anything I can do
that will help us get this payment?
257
00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:32,395
I am prepared to offer you
a golden ticket to Harold Land.
258
00:13:33,438 --> 00:13:34,856
I'm not interested.
259
00:13:34,940 --> 00:13:37,025
-The feeling is mutual.
-Shut up, Harold.
260
00:13:37,108 --> 00:13:39,945
Oh, well, excuse me for using
my charms to further our designs.
261
00:13:40,028 --> 00:13:43,156
-You don't have charm, you have arthritis.
-They're called jazz hands.
262
00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:44,616
-Oh, I'll show you jazz hands.
-Oh, yeah?
263
00:13:44,699 --> 00:13:47,160
-You wanna see them?
-You bring it! I will kill you!
264
00:13:47,244 --> 00:13:49,955
You're both very charming,
all right, you guys?
265
00:13:50,038 --> 00:13:50,997
This is--
266
00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:53,667
Excuse me.
267
00:13:57,587 --> 00:14:00,674
Now, I can't pay
on your existing contract.
268
00:14:00,757 --> 00:14:06,513
However, I do have some quick jobs
that are in need of immediate hire,
269
00:14:06,596 --> 00:14:07,931
if you're interested.
270
00:14:11,393 --> 00:14:15,772
So the first thing you wanna remember
about poison testing is don't swallow.
271
00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:16,898
It is poison.
272
00:14:17,482 --> 00:14:19,401
[gentle, whimsical music playing]
273
00:14:30,495 --> 00:14:33,415
-[Beatrix] Take it back! Take it back!
-[Harold] I'm taking it!
274
00:14:33,498 --> 00:14:34,666
[Cain screams]
275
00:14:34,749 --> 00:14:37,836
[Harold] I'm having the time of my life!
276
00:14:37,919 --> 00:14:39,337
[Beatrix] Shut up, Harold!
277
00:14:39,421 --> 00:14:41,756
[screaming]
278
00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:43,466
[Harold laughs] Yes!
279
00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:57,063
[beeping]
280
00:14:57,147 --> 00:14:59,608
-No, no, no. Don't rush it. Don't rush it.
-I got this.
281
00:14:59,691 --> 00:15:01,735
-Guys?
-[Harold] We gotta do something.
282
00:15:02,527 --> 00:15:05,614
We gotta do something!
We gotta do something!
283
00:15:05,697 --> 00:15:07,282
[beeping intensifies]
284
00:15:18,084 --> 00:15:20,879
[in strained voice]
This is really bad for my vertebrae.
285
00:15:20,962 --> 00:15:22,881
[Beatrix] Just keep going.
286
00:15:22,964 --> 00:15:25,300
If we sprint, we might be done...
287
00:15:27,552 --> 00:15:28,845
in a couple of weeks.
288
00:15:29,346 --> 00:15:30,263
[PA chimes]
289
00:15:30,347 --> 00:15:32,682
[man over PA]
More crystals are coming.
290
00:15:32,766 --> 00:15:33,933
But no overtime.
291
00:15:34,017 --> 00:15:38,396
Any complainers will be liquefied
and turned into more crystals, okay?
292
00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:40,065
-Thank you.
-I hate this.
293
00:15:40,148 --> 00:15:43,234
Hey, it is an honor
to serve our evil overlords,
294
00:15:43,318 --> 00:15:44,736
no matter the sacrifice.
295
00:15:45,570 --> 00:15:47,280
Why are you so old?
296
00:15:47,364 --> 00:15:50,492
Look, I understand
it's frustrating, all right?
297
00:15:50,575 --> 00:15:53,828
But we're the bad guys with a lowercase B.
298
00:15:53,912 --> 00:15:55,872
We're the little B's, all right?
299
00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:56,998
It is what it is.
300
00:15:57,082 --> 00:16:00,877
You mean being exploited for our labor
and then not being rewarded for it?
301
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:02,796
Yes, but at least they care for us.
302
00:16:02,879 --> 00:16:03,755
[PA chimes]
303
00:16:03,838 --> 00:16:06,675
[man] Attention. Lunch is canceled.
304
00:16:06,758 --> 00:16:07,592
Forever.
305
00:16:07,676 --> 00:16:09,511
And no eating crystals.
306
00:16:09,594 --> 00:16:11,971
Whatever. Let's just push through
and get our money.
307
00:16:12,055 --> 00:16:15,225
Hey, while we're at it, we should
remind them about our reimbursement.
308
00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:17,060
Yes. What reimbursement?
309
00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:19,688
For the personal loan
I gave the Winter General.
310
00:16:20,271 --> 00:16:22,774
We didn't give any personal loans, Harold.
311
00:16:22,857 --> 00:16:23,983
[Harold] Sure, we did.
312
00:16:24,067 --> 00:16:28,655
I gave cash from our savings
so that he could get his powers?
313
00:16:28,738 --> 00:16:30,824
Oh, my Alzheimer's.
How much did you give him?
314
00:16:30,907 --> 00:16:32,575
-Hundred and twenty-five K.
-[winces]
315
00:16:32,659 --> 00:16:34,119
We only had 60.
316
00:16:34,202 --> 00:16:36,162
I know. I had to take out a personal loan.
317
00:16:36,705 --> 00:16:38,331
What? Should I have given him more?
318
00:16:38,415 --> 00:16:40,667
No! You shouldn't have given him anything!
319
00:16:40,750 --> 00:16:42,419
Well, sorry.
320
00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:45,839
Our boss, who I pledged loyalty to,
321
00:16:45,922 --> 00:16:47,465
said that you guys said
322
00:16:47,549 --> 00:16:52,887
that I should give him a cash loan,
no questions asked, and I obeyed.
323
00:16:52,971 --> 00:16:54,347
So sue me.
324
00:16:55,265 --> 00:16:57,475
No, don't sue me.
We haven't been reimbursed yet.
325
00:16:57,559 --> 00:17:00,562
You don't lend villains money!
326
00:17:00,645 --> 00:17:01,813
[Beatrix grunting]
327
00:17:02,439 --> 00:17:04,441
[screaming]
328
00:17:05,150 --> 00:17:07,110
Stop! You bit me!
329
00:17:07,193 --> 00:17:09,195
Weapons-grade dentures.
330
00:17:12,449 --> 00:17:13,658
Bite that!
331
00:17:13,742 --> 00:17:15,285
[Cain] Stop it! Stop it!
332
00:17:16,119 --> 00:17:17,912
You're gonna get us liquefied!
333
00:17:17,996 --> 00:17:20,874
It's fine. We're just clearing the air.
No one's gonna get hur--
334
00:17:24,002 --> 00:17:25,128
Sorry.
335
00:17:27,130 --> 00:17:28,548
It was meant for her.
336
00:17:29,549 --> 00:17:31,551
[groaning]
337
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:34,971
[PA chimes]
338
00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:39,267
[man] Attention. Uh, can someone please...
[speaking indistinctly]
339
00:17:39,350 --> 00:17:40,268
Come on.
340
00:17:46,524 --> 00:17:48,526
[groans, then screams]
341
00:17:48,610 --> 00:17:50,653
-Say you're sorry.
-Never.
342
00:17:50,737 --> 00:17:53,740
Do it. Or I'll give you
a death-crystal colonoscopy.
343
00:17:53,823 --> 00:17:56,493
I am over 50 and I'm due.
344
00:17:56,576 --> 00:17:58,703
-[bone cracks]
-[yelping]
345
00:18:01,831 --> 00:18:02,665
[both growl]
346
00:18:02,749 --> 00:18:04,000
[yells]
347
00:18:08,463 --> 00:18:10,673
[automated voice]
Warning: Crystals activated.
348
00:18:11,382 --> 00:18:14,385
Warning: Crystals activated.
349
00:18:14,469 --> 00:18:17,680
Self-destruct sequence starting in ten...
350
00:18:17,764 --> 00:18:18,890
It's probably fine.
351
00:18:18,973 --> 00:18:21,017
...nine, eight...
352
00:18:21,893 --> 00:18:23,728
We're not getting paid again, are we?
353
00:18:28,817 --> 00:18:29,734
Just checking.
354
00:18:33,571 --> 00:18:35,824
[shouting] All in all, a good day.
355
00:18:35,907 --> 00:18:39,077
Hey, do you guys have
a ringing in your ear?
356
00:18:40,495 --> 00:18:43,206
[Cain] Hey, we've earned money before.
We can earn it again.
357
00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:46,084
-It took ten years.
-Maybe this time it'll only take nine.
358
00:18:46,167 --> 00:18:49,045
Look, it is what it is.
359
00:18:52,090 --> 00:18:54,467
[Harold shouting] Do you guys taste metal?
360
00:18:55,635 --> 00:18:58,346
[reporter speaking indistinctly on radio]
361
00:19:01,683 --> 00:19:04,227
Maybe it should be what it should be.
362
00:19:04,310 --> 00:19:05,270
[man] What?
363
00:19:06,020 --> 00:19:07,689
Did you just say something to me?
364
00:19:07,772 --> 00:19:10,441
Oh. No, I was just talking to myself.
365
00:19:11,067 --> 00:19:13,611
Oh. If you ever need someone to talk to...
366
00:19:20,869 --> 00:19:23,288
[electronic music playing]
367
00:19:25,790 --> 00:19:28,626
This is absurd, all right?
These tryouts are pass-die.
368
00:19:28,710 --> 00:19:29,752
They're die-outs.
369
00:19:29,836 --> 00:19:31,379
-Bulletproof blouse?
-Yes.
370
00:19:31,462 --> 00:19:32,964
Cain, I understand your concern,
371
00:19:33,047 --> 00:19:35,383
but world domination
is not gonna fund itself.
372
00:19:35,466 --> 00:19:37,218
[Cain] You don't even have any powers.
373
00:19:37,302 --> 00:19:39,429
Actually, I took two years
of necromancy in high school,
374
00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:41,055
so I can kind of talk to the dead.
375
00:19:41,139 --> 00:19:42,849
Well, at least the ones
that speak English.
376
00:19:42,932 --> 00:19:43,850
[Cain] Is that it?
377
00:19:43,933 --> 00:19:47,395
Well, I understand some Spanish,
but dead Spanish is a tricky dialect.
378
00:19:47,478 --> 00:19:49,731
You should be able to shoot,
like, fire or lasers
379
00:19:49,814 --> 00:19:51,983
or something out of your eyes.
380
00:19:52,066 --> 00:19:53,234
You know I can't do that.
381
00:19:53,318 --> 00:19:55,111
[sighs] That's my point, okay?
382
00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:58,323
My cousin, Picklebone Ben,
he went to tryouts without powers,
383
00:19:58,406 --> 00:20:00,617
and he died, okay?
And then they made his friends
384
00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:02,368
and his family burn all of his stuff
385
00:20:02,452 --> 00:20:05,330
and pretend like he never existed
in the first place, all right?
386
00:20:05,413 --> 00:20:07,707
So please don't tell anybody
that I brought him up.
387
00:20:07,790 --> 00:20:09,000
Cain, I know it's scary,
388
00:20:09,083 --> 00:20:11,711
but this is the only way
that we're gonna get the pet store
389
00:20:11,794 --> 00:20:14,339
and dominate the world
and end this cycle of poverty.
390
00:20:14,422 --> 00:20:15,506
It's time to man up.
391
00:20:15,590 --> 00:20:17,133
-Here you go.
-Thank you.
392
00:20:19,844 --> 00:20:21,554
What if I'm in love with you?
393
00:20:21,638 --> 00:20:23,431
-[Beatrix] You aren't.
-I know.
394
00:20:25,892 --> 00:20:28,353
I've got this taken care of. Trust me.
395
00:20:31,189 --> 00:20:33,066
I feel great about this.
396
00:20:33,900 --> 00:20:36,277
[upbeat folk music playing]
397
00:20:36,361 --> 00:20:37,695
You dropped your bra.
398
00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:54,545
[boy on radio] I sure love Justice Juice.
399
00:20:54,629 --> 00:20:56,673
[man on radio] The energy
it gives me to get through the day.
400
00:20:56,756 --> 00:20:58,967
-[boy] Give me my Justice Juice!
-[man] Food is boring.
401
00:20:59,050 --> 00:21:01,052
-[boy] I love Justice Juice.
-[man] Justice Juice is fun.
402
00:21:01,135 --> 00:21:03,304
-[boy] My father needs a Justice Juice.
-[man] Go without him.
403
00:21:03,388 --> 00:21:06,516
[boy] My grandpa wishes he was
still alive to drink Justice Juice.
404
00:21:09,060 --> 00:21:12,063
[upbeat folk music continues]
405
00:21:40,133 --> 00:21:41,509
Cool ax.
406
00:21:44,303 --> 00:21:48,266
I've heard sometimes it's a good idea
to make an alliance in these things.
407
00:21:48,349 --> 00:21:49,809
Level the playing field.
408
00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:52,353
You be the Stockton to my Malone.
409
00:21:54,230 --> 00:21:57,025
Or you could be Malone.
I'm fine with either.
410
00:21:58,443 --> 00:22:00,069
My uncle had an ax once.
411
00:22:01,029 --> 00:22:03,156
He tripped on it and died.
412
00:22:03,948 --> 00:22:05,450
It was very gruesome.
413
00:22:07,577 --> 00:22:10,663
It was a closed casket, but I did look.
414
00:22:13,791 --> 00:22:15,001
[door opens]
415
00:22:15,084 --> 00:22:17,086
[suspenseful music playing]
416
00:22:19,005 --> 00:22:21,507
[music turns ghoulish]
417
00:22:21,591 --> 00:22:23,593
[applicants murmuring]
418
00:22:31,851 --> 00:22:32,769
[blows whistle]
419
00:22:34,937 --> 00:22:37,273
My name is Lorena. Welcome to tryouts.
420
00:22:37,774 --> 00:22:41,486
I would like to recognize
and thank our resident villain, Sigma.
421
00:22:42,653 --> 00:22:43,780
Hail Sigma!
422
00:22:43,863 --> 00:22:45,198
[all] Hail Sigma!
423
00:22:46,407 --> 00:22:49,368
Who has generously sponsored
this year's tryouts,
424
00:22:49,452 --> 00:22:54,415
including the cash prize for any
of you who passes slash survives.
425
00:22:54,999 --> 00:22:58,628
I'm sure you're all aware
of his tremendous and dark résumé.
426
00:22:58,711 --> 00:23:02,006
Weapons dealer, political coups,
general disinformation.
427
00:23:03,424 --> 00:23:08,179
It is an honor to have him here.
428
00:23:08,846 --> 00:23:12,600
And now please address your attention
to the video presentation.
429
00:23:17,396 --> 00:23:18,815
[dramatic music playing on TV]
430
00:23:18,898 --> 00:23:20,358
"Becoming Evil,"
431
00:23:20,441 --> 00:23:23,736
the official Villain Tryout guide
by the League of Evil.
432
00:23:24,278 --> 00:23:26,781
So you think you've got
what it takes to be a villain?
433
00:23:26,864 --> 00:23:31,828
Well, congratulations,
because now you get to prove it.
434
00:23:32,787 --> 00:23:37,750
Your Villain Tryout will test your mind,
body and soul, if you have one.
435
00:23:37,834 --> 00:23:39,335
[laughing in deep voice]
436
00:23:41,879 --> 00:23:43,923
Can you kick an old person
when they're down?
437
00:23:44,006 --> 00:23:47,385
Can you stand by when your friend's face
gets melted by a superhero
438
00:23:47,468 --> 00:23:48,344
and still be tough?
439
00:23:48,427 --> 00:23:51,097
If you answered yes, great.
440
00:23:51,180 --> 00:23:54,308
To become an officially-licensed villain,
you have to be bad.
441
00:23:54,392 --> 00:23:57,937
You have to be best.
You have to be "the bast."
442
00:23:58,020 --> 00:23:59,730
"The bast."
443
00:23:59,814 --> 00:24:02,775
As a villain, your body
will be a registered weapon.
444
00:24:03,609 --> 00:24:06,070
And these are the guns.
445
00:24:06,696 --> 00:24:09,866
-Tryouts...
-[laughing]
446
00:24:15,288 --> 00:24:16,789
[applicants] Ooh!
447
00:24:19,917 --> 00:24:23,588
Finger Cannon Power
and other Sigma power supplements
448
00:24:23,671 --> 00:24:26,132
are available for purchase
at any licensed dealer.
449
00:24:26,215 --> 00:24:29,594
Use promo code Sigma10 and get
a 10 percent discount at checkout.
450
00:24:32,013 --> 00:24:33,139
Good luck.
451
00:24:33,222 --> 00:24:36,225
[ghoulish music playing]
452
00:24:36,309 --> 00:24:38,769
-Villain name?
-Beatrix the Abyss Wraith.
453
00:24:39,854 --> 00:24:41,105
Taken.
454
00:24:41,189 --> 00:24:43,566
Beatrix 89.
455
00:24:43,649 --> 00:24:44,692
Also taken.
456
00:24:44,775 --> 00:24:47,945
Your assigned name is Danger Person...
457
00:24:48,029 --> 00:24:49,947
-All right.
-...83616.
458
00:24:50,031 --> 00:24:52,074
Actually, that's also taken.
459
00:24:52,158 --> 00:24:54,619
Danger Person 83617.
460
00:24:55,203 --> 00:24:56,746
Okay, what was that number?
461
00:24:56,829 --> 00:24:59,248
-Plan?
-Yes. Um...
462
00:25:00,791 --> 00:25:02,793
Uh... It's called Killer Petco.
463
00:25:02,877 --> 00:25:06,631
And essentially, we sell pets
to villains that eventually kill them,
464
00:25:06,714 --> 00:25:09,383
and then, through some
complicated legalese,
465
00:25:09,467 --> 00:25:11,802
we get all the assets of the deceased.
466
00:25:11,886 --> 00:25:13,554
Killer Petco is a working title.
467
00:25:14,847 --> 00:25:17,183
Eliminating the competition. Smart.
468
00:25:17,266 --> 00:25:18,142
Superpower?
469
00:25:19,477 --> 00:25:21,604
-I can talk to the dead.
-Prove it.
470
00:25:22,688 --> 00:25:24,482
Okay. Um...
471
00:25:29,445 --> 00:25:30,655
Hello, dead people.
472
00:25:33,074 --> 00:25:34,158
Hola.
473
00:25:36,285 --> 00:25:38,120
I'm also very good at sleight of hand.
474
00:25:39,538 --> 00:25:40,414
No.
475
00:25:43,584 --> 00:25:45,002
Also, I'm bulletproof.
476
00:25:45,086 --> 00:25:47,004
-Oh.
-[drawer closes]
477
00:25:56,013 --> 00:25:57,932
Cleared. Report for physical training.
478
00:26:03,604 --> 00:26:04,522
[door closes]
479
00:26:04,605 --> 00:26:05,856
Ow.
480
00:26:08,317 --> 00:26:10,278
[wincing]
481
00:26:12,321 --> 00:26:13,990
[exhales shakily]
482
00:26:14,073 --> 00:26:15,199
Wow.
483
00:26:19,578 --> 00:26:20,663
[Cain] This is it.
484
00:26:23,499 --> 00:26:25,042
Nice neighborhood.
485
00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:29,213
[doorbell rings]
486
00:26:30,047 --> 00:26:31,173
[man over intercom] Yes?
487
00:26:31,257 --> 00:26:33,134
Hey. Uh, is there
a Mr. Megadeath at home?
488
00:26:33,217 --> 00:26:35,594
[computerized voice]
Halt. Intruder will be shot.
489
00:26:35,678 --> 00:26:37,346
-Nice.
-[man] Who's asking?
490
00:26:37,430 --> 00:26:39,765
You hired us for a job.
The agency sent us.
491
00:26:40,725 --> 00:26:41,976
[man] Ah, yes.
492
00:26:48,482 --> 00:26:50,484
[locks clacking]
493
00:26:56,824 --> 00:26:59,201
Sorry about that. Can't be too careful.
494
00:27:00,786 --> 00:27:02,246
I'm going through a divorce.
495
00:27:02,330 --> 00:27:03,289
Megadeath.
496
00:27:03,372 --> 00:27:04,915
I am so honored.
497
00:27:05,499 --> 00:27:06,334
Alex!
498
00:27:07,501 --> 00:27:08,461
Yeah?
499
00:27:08,544 --> 00:27:12,089
Alex, these are a couple
of, uh, friends, um...
500
00:27:12,173 --> 00:27:14,759
-Uh, Cain and Harold.
-Yes, Cain and Harold.
501
00:27:14,842 --> 00:27:18,179
They're gonna be helping us
today with crime stuff.
502
00:27:18,262 --> 00:27:20,306
Coolio. I'll grab the bag.
503
00:27:20,389 --> 00:27:21,307
Okay.
504
00:27:26,562 --> 00:27:27,563
Is that your son?
505
00:27:27,646 --> 00:27:30,816
No. Intern. Got him from
one of those coding boot camps.
506
00:27:31,609 --> 00:27:34,362
He's a great kid, though.
Wish he was my son.
507
00:27:34,445 --> 00:27:35,780
-How sweet.
-[Megadeath] Mm.
508
00:27:35,863 --> 00:27:37,990
That's why it's so hard
having to sell him.
509
00:27:38,074 --> 00:27:40,659
-Hmm. Wait, what?
-Yeah.
510
00:27:40,743 --> 00:27:43,162
Old Megadeath made some
mega-bad investments.
511
00:27:43,245 --> 00:27:45,748
And then with the divorce,
she got the lair.
512
00:27:45,831 --> 00:27:48,209
She doesn't even like the lair.
I won't get into it.
513
00:27:48,292 --> 00:27:50,002
The point is, I'm starting anew.
514
00:27:50,086 --> 00:27:52,963
And fortunately,
computer geniuses go for top dollar.
515
00:27:53,047 --> 00:27:55,007
You are so brave.
516
00:27:55,091 --> 00:27:57,468
-Does he know he is being sold?
-No. No.
517
00:27:57,551 --> 00:28:00,096
He has severe separation anxiety.
518
00:28:00,179 --> 00:28:03,891
And ever since I abducted him,
he's had this phobia of being abducted.
519
00:28:03,974 --> 00:28:08,145
Fortunately, he also suffers
from Stockholm syndrome, so it balances.
520
00:28:08,938 --> 00:28:11,690
Anyway, it's best to just let him
think everything is normal.
521
00:28:12,274 --> 00:28:13,275
-Ready?
-Great.
522
00:28:13,359 --> 00:28:15,945
Let's get to the tech-show
conference thing.
523
00:28:16,028 --> 00:28:18,614
We know what I'm talking about.
Alex, get the robe.
524
00:28:28,749 --> 00:28:30,626
So you eat with the ax too?
525
00:28:31,836 --> 00:28:33,212
Restrain her!
526
00:28:34,130 --> 00:28:36,715
-Is something wrong?
-Danger Person 83617,
527
00:28:36,799 --> 00:28:41,554
we've received information that suggests
inaccuracies in your application.
528
00:28:41,637 --> 00:28:44,807
If this is about my ACT score,
I just didn't count the math portion.
529
00:28:44,890 --> 00:28:48,477
-I didn't think it was--
-This was found in your laundry.
530
00:28:48,561 --> 00:28:50,604
Oh, not so bulletproof, are we?
531
00:28:51,272 --> 00:28:52,565
You went through my laundry?
532
00:28:52,648 --> 00:28:57,153
Next time, may I suggest you sort
your linens from your Kevlars?
533
00:28:57,945 --> 00:28:59,905
[blows whistle]
534
00:28:59,989 --> 00:29:01,991
[dramatic music playing]
535
00:29:03,325 --> 00:29:05,953
Intern secured in the van.
Perimeter check complete.
536
00:29:06,036 --> 00:29:07,580
Oh, and I got us some lunch.
537
00:29:07,663 --> 00:29:08,831
No, thanks.
538
00:29:08,914 --> 00:29:09,790
More for me.
539
00:29:11,041 --> 00:29:12,877
So how long you been a villain?
540
00:29:13,752 --> 00:29:15,379
Uh, 27 years.
541
00:29:15,463 --> 00:29:16,922
-Cool.
-Yeah.
542
00:29:17,006 --> 00:29:18,716
I wasn't always this way, though.
543
00:29:18,799 --> 00:29:21,093
When I was younger,
I actually wanted to be a hero.
544
00:29:21,177 --> 00:29:23,262
-Gross.
-Really?
545
00:29:23,345 --> 00:29:26,849
Yeah. But they said
my power wasn't a good fit.
546
00:29:26,932 --> 00:29:29,685
-Well, what was your power?
-I melt people's faces.
547
00:29:29,768 --> 00:29:30,978
Awesome.
548
00:29:31,061 --> 00:29:33,397
To be fair, it is pretty horrific.
549
00:29:33,481 --> 00:29:34,523
I don't even like it,
550
00:29:34,607 --> 00:29:37,610
which is why I typically use
the particle eviscerator instead.
551
00:29:37,693 --> 00:29:39,987
Well, at least that's more humane.
552
00:29:40,070 --> 00:29:43,032
It's not, but the loudness
covers the screams.
553
00:29:43,741 --> 00:29:46,118
I wanna be just like you when I grow up.
554
00:29:46,202 --> 00:29:49,455
Sorry, old chap,
but after this, I am done.
555
00:29:49,538 --> 00:29:52,458
Can't spend my whole life looking
over my shoulder, you know?
556
00:29:52,541 --> 00:29:54,877
I wanna go out on my own terms, you know?
557
00:29:54,960 --> 00:29:56,587
Kind of in the way I began--
558
00:29:56,670 --> 00:29:57,796
[gunshot]
559
00:29:57,880 --> 00:30:00,257
[mysterious music playing]
560
00:30:02,968 --> 00:30:03,886
Hands up!
561
00:30:06,138 --> 00:30:07,473
Is he dead?
562
00:30:07,556 --> 00:30:08,807
I don't know.
563
00:30:09,600 --> 00:30:10,684
Can you check?
564
00:30:11,685 --> 00:30:12,603
Okay.
565
00:30:16,106 --> 00:30:17,191
He's dead.
566
00:30:17,274 --> 00:30:18,776
[Harold moaning]
567
00:30:20,236 --> 00:30:23,197
You can put your hands down now.
She only wanted him.
568
00:30:23,948 --> 00:30:25,533
-She?
-The ex-wife.
569
00:30:25,616 --> 00:30:26,867
Nasty divorce.
570
00:30:26,951 --> 00:30:30,663
I loved you like
the younger father I never had.
571
00:30:30,746 --> 00:30:33,457
[hit man 1] Oh, poor guy. Must
have meant a lot to you, huh?
572
00:30:33,541 --> 00:30:36,418
-How long you guys been working with him?
-Since this morning.
573
00:30:36,502 --> 00:30:37,545
He's very emotional.
574
00:30:40,339 --> 00:30:42,299
-[sniffs]
-[both] Huh.
575
00:30:42,383 --> 00:30:44,802
Was there an Alex that came with this bag?
576
00:30:45,469 --> 00:30:46,512
Um...
577
00:30:47,137 --> 00:30:49,181
[people speaking indistinctly
on headphones]
578
00:30:49,265 --> 00:30:50,516
You'd have to ask him.
579
00:30:50,599 --> 00:30:53,852
[winces] Ooh. We shouldn't
have used the killing bullets.
580
00:30:53,936 --> 00:30:56,063
Well, maybe this should be
a lesson to you guys
581
00:30:56,146 --> 00:30:57,856
that violence is not the answer.
582
00:30:57,940 --> 00:31:00,651
We're hit men. Like, we--
That's what we do. We kill people.
583
00:31:00,734 --> 00:31:02,820
-That's our job.
-Yeah, I know that, but...
584
00:31:03,362 --> 00:31:06,240
I mean, maybe instead of, you know,
all of us henchmen are like,
585
00:31:06,323 --> 00:31:08,867
bam, bam, bam,
when we should talk, talk, talk.
586
00:31:08,951 --> 00:31:12,079
Okay? Because, I mean, your brain,
587
00:31:12,162 --> 00:31:16,375
your mouth, your heart, is a weapon
that you never have to reload, okay?
588
00:31:17,001 --> 00:31:19,628
So think about that, guys.
There's a better way.
589
00:31:19,712 --> 00:31:22,006
That's a weird thing to say
to someone you just met.
590
00:31:22,089 --> 00:31:23,090
[hit man 2] Yeah.
591
00:31:24,258 --> 00:31:26,510
-If you hear anything, just...
-Text is best.
592
00:31:26,594 --> 00:31:28,929
-[hit man 2] Yeah, use that.
-[hit man 1] Yeah. Enjoy yourselves.
593
00:31:29,013 --> 00:31:31,724
-Card.
-[Harold sobbing] Kill me instead.
594
00:31:34,685 --> 00:31:35,811
Where's Megadeath?
595
00:31:36,979 --> 00:31:39,148
He's, uh... gone.
596
00:31:40,107 --> 00:31:43,819
To a meeting... with Steve Jobs.
597
00:31:43,902 --> 00:31:46,989
So, um, you'll be working
with us until he gets back.
598
00:31:47,072 --> 00:31:50,159
So no-- No reason to be scared or worried.
599
00:31:51,035 --> 00:31:55,080
Cool. So did you guys
do any fun crimes lately?
600
00:31:59,585 --> 00:32:01,670
[ghoulish music playing]
601
00:32:03,589 --> 00:32:05,507
Danger Person 83617.
602
00:32:05,591 --> 00:32:09,053
-I thought I was 83165.
-For falsifying application credentials,
603
00:32:09,136 --> 00:32:11,347
you have been found guilty
before this court.
604
00:32:11,430 --> 00:32:13,349
-How do you plead?
-Not?
605
00:32:13,432 --> 00:32:15,434
How dare you contradict the court?
606
00:32:15,517 --> 00:32:17,645
Look, I'm sorry for the miscommunication,
607
00:32:17,728 --> 00:32:20,898
but we wouldn't be here
if you'd shot me in the face.
608
00:32:20,981 --> 00:32:23,734
-Which I'm grateful for.
-Enough. Enough.
609
00:32:25,069 --> 00:32:27,738
Tell me, 83617...
610
00:32:27,821 --> 00:32:28,781
It's Beatrix.
611
00:32:28,864 --> 00:32:31,200
Nah, too hard to remember.
612
00:32:32,201 --> 00:32:36,622
If you knew you didn't have any powers,
then why are you here?
613
00:32:37,247 --> 00:32:40,417
Look, all I've ever wanted
is to take over the world.
614
00:32:40,501 --> 00:32:43,420
But when you're born a henchman
you don't really get that chance.
615
00:32:43,504 --> 00:32:45,214
Especially if you're a henchwoman.
616
00:32:45,297 --> 00:32:47,758
So you lied to get power?
617
00:32:47,841 --> 00:32:50,219
I lied to get opportunity.
618
00:32:52,221 --> 00:32:54,765
I know I broke the rules. I'm sorry.
619
00:32:54,848 --> 00:32:56,558
Villains don't apologize.
620
00:32:56,642 --> 00:32:57,976
I will work on that.
621
00:32:58,060 --> 00:33:00,437
But, and I feel strongly about this,
622
00:33:01,063 --> 00:33:05,234
maybe it's time for someone
without powers to conquer the earth.
623
00:33:05,776 --> 00:33:07,403
A blue-collar bad girl.
624
00:33:07,486 --> 00:33:08,987
A villain for the people.
625
00:33:09,822 --> 00:33:12,324
That might be just what evil needs.
626
00:33:12,408 --> 00:33:14,118
[sentimental music playing]
627
00:33:15,828 --> 00:33:16,954
That was beautiful.
628
00:33:21,417 --> 00:33:22,751
-Kill her.
-What?
629
00:33:22,835 --> 00:33:25,003
Villains don't give heartfelt speeches.
630
00:33:25,087 --> 00:33:27,840
Okay, it's starting to feel like
you're just making rules up.
631
00:33:27,923 --> 00:33:29,925
[suspenseful music playing]
632
00:33:31,635 --> 00:33:33,429
Axe Guy, now's our chance.
633
00:33:34,513 --> 00:33:36,223
Stockton to Malone!
634
00:33:36,932 --> 00:33:39,768
Come on, we're friends.
Remember? We're best friends.
635
00:33:39,852 --> 00:33:42,688
On my mark. Ready?
636
00:33:42,771 --> 00:33:45,190
I told you that thing
about my uncle's closed casket.
637
00:33:45,274 --> 00:33:47,359
And you were so cool about it.
638
00:33:47,443 --> 00:33:48,402
Set.
639
00:33:49,611 --> 00:33:53,240
You're a terrible best friend.
And your ax work is mediocre at best.
640
00:33:53,323 --> 00:33:54,491
Swing away.
641
00:33:55,534 --> 00:33:57,870
You know what's better
than beating one bad guy?
642
00:34:00,289 --> 00:34:01,248
Ahh.
643
00:34:01,331 --> 00:34:03,500
Beating more than one bad guy.
644
00:34:05,461 --> 00:34:07,087
Belt, play fight mix.
645
00:34:07,629 --> 00:34:11,175
[hard-rock music playing
tinnily over belt speaker]
646
00:34:11,800 --> 00:34:15,721
This might, uh, throw you guys off,
but I wrote this song, all by myself.
647
00:34:15,804 --> 00:34:17,139
You ready? Here it comes.
648
00:34:17,848 --> 00:34:19,850
[hard-rock music playing]
649
00:34:25,272 --> 00:34:26,356
Table!
650
00:34:28,692 --> 00:34:29,735
Yes!
651
00:34:33,989 --> 00:34:34,907
[Justice laughs]
652
00:34:35,616 --> 00:34:36,450
Hey!
653
00:34:37,785 --> 00:34:41,705
No one escapes the League of Evil.
654
00:34:44,291 --> 00:34:46,752
-[Justice] Justice is mine!
-Sorry!
655
00:34:46,835 --> 00:34:48,295
♪ But if I'm gonna die ♪
656
00:34:48,378 --> 00:34:53,175
♪ I'd rather spend my time alive like
I ain't never gonna die ♪
657
00:34:53,258 --> 00:34:54,927
♪ 'Cause I ain't never gonna die! ♪
658
00:34:55,511 --> 00:34:57,554
[screaming]
659
00:34:58,222 --> 00:34:59,515
Who's next?
660
00:34:59,598 --> 00:35:00,724
[music stops]
661
00:35:14,530 --> 00:35:17,533
[gentle, pensive music playing]
662
00:35:40,222 --> 00:35:41,181
[screeches]
663
00:36:12,963 --> 00:36:14,464
[winces, then grunts]
664
00:36:23,932 --> 00:36:25,392
[screams]
665
00:36:40,407 --> 00:36:41,199
[music stops]
666
00:36:41,283 --> 00:36:43,827
Look, it's been a very stressful
couple of days,
667
00:36:43,911 --> 00:36:47,289
and the dead guy I took this gun from
said it does some very bad things
668
00:36:47,372 --> 00:36:51,001
that I don't completely understand,
so please just walk away.
669
00:36:51,543 --> 00:36:52,711
Cain?
670
00:36:52,794 --> 00:36:55,756
Beatrix? You're alive?
671
00:36:56,590 --> 00:36:59,301
Yeah, kind of, but something
really bad happened.
672
00:36:59,384 --> 00:37:00,636
You're alive!
673
00:37:01,762 --> 00:37:02,804
-Oh--
-No.
674
00:37:02,888 --> 00:37:04,264
I can't believe I doubted you.
675
00:37:04,348 --> 00:37:06,058
Oh, no, Cain. It--
676
00:37:06,141 --> 00:37:10,354
This is unbelievable. You are a villain!
677
00:37:10,437 --> 00:37:13,732
-You're not-- You're not listening, I'm--
-We're number one! Oh!
678
00:37:13,815 --> 00:37:18,570
My best friend in the whole world
is an officially-licensed villain now.
679
00:37:18,654 --> 00:37:23,116
Like a bona fide,
certified villain, right?
680
00:37:23,200 --> 00:37:24,493
[sentimental music playing]
681
00:37:24,576 --> 00:37:27,079
-Yeah.
-Yes! Oh, wow.
682
00:37:27,162 --> 00:37:28,747
Oh, this is a good day.
683
00:37:28,830 --> 00:37:32,209
We can get out of this
abandoned grocery store.
684
00:37:33,460 --> 00:37:35,587
I can call my parents.
685
00:37:37,464 --> 00:37:38,799
They give you a villain name?
686
00:37:38,882 --> 00:37:41,760
Do you have a name? Is it really cool?
What's your villain name?
687
00:37:41,843 --> 00:37:43,929
Danger Person 83617.
688
00:37:44,012 --> 00:37:46,056
Oh, those are ju--
Those are great numbers.
689
00:37:46,890 --> 00:37:49,059
Whoo! I'm sorry. I'm just very excited.
690
00:37:49,142 --> 00:37:53,689
It's been a stressful couple of days,
and this just makes it all go away.
691
00:37:54,606 --> 00:37:55,440
Thank you.
692
00:37:56,984 --> 00:37:57,901
You're welcome.
693
00:37:58,527 --> 00:38:02,030
Sorry, I cut you off earlier.
You were saying something bad happened?
694
00:38:02,781 --> 00:38:05,075
Yeah. Um...
695
00:38:06,284 --> 00:38:07,619
I... I lost your duffel bag.
696
00:38:08,203 --> 00:38:08,996
Whoa.
697
00:38:09,079 --> 00:38:11,081
[seething]
698
00:38:12,958 --> 00:38:15,460
I'm sorry. I know it meant a lot to you.
699
00:38:16,920 --> 00:38:19,756
Did you--? Did you try
retracing your steps?
700
00:38:19,840 --> 00:38:21,883
Yeah. I'm-- It's gone.
701
00:38:21,967 --> 00:38:25,804
That's okay. It was just
a priceless family heirloom.
702
00:38:25,887 --> 00:38:27,222
It's not... It's fine.
703
00:38:27,305 --> 00:38:29,433
Look, you can replace a duffel bag,
704
00:38:30,058 --> 00:38:33,311
but you can't replace
a best friend who's a villain.
705
00:38:34,479 --> 00:38:36,982
Thank you, Beatrix. Thank you.
706
00:38:37,983 --> 00:38:39,359
Harold is gonna be ecstatic.
707
00:38:39,443 --> 00:38:41,903
[sobbing]
708
00:38:41,987 --> 00:38:45,032
Okay, Harold. All right, let's...
Let's calm down.
709
00:38:46,783 --> 00:38:48,869
Okay, okay. Just breathe.
710
00:38:49,369 --> 00:38:51,913
That prize money's
gonna change a lot of things.
711
00:38:51,997 --> 00:38:53,707
But we need to stay humble.
712
00:38:53,790 --> 00:38:54,916
Yes.
713
00:38:55,625 --> 00:39:00,005
Remember, we still don't know
exactly when that's going to arrive.
714
00:39:00,088 --> 00:39:02,132
Also, it's very important
that neither of you
715
00:39:02,215 --> 00:39:04,509
ever tell anyone that I'm a villain.
716
00:39:04,593 --> 00:39:06,845
You got it... boss.
717
00:39:06,928 --> 00:39:11,933
I know I've said this to all of my masters
before, but I would do anything for you.
718
00:39:12,559 --> 00:39:14,519
-Great.
-I'd even kill him.
719
00:39:14,603 --> 00:39:17,189
-[Cain] Whoa.
-[Harold] Someone I consider a friend.
720
00:39:17,272 --> 00:39:20,067
-Please don't.
-Just to prove my loyalty.
721
00:39:20,150 --> 00:39:21,276
Where'd you get that?
722
00:39:21,359 --> 00:39:23,987
Amazon. It's not like I'd enjoy it.
723
00:39:24,071 --> 00:39:27,074
Unless she commanded me to.
Then I suppose I'd have to.
724
00:39:27,157 --> 00:39:28,283
Okay, no killing Cain.
725
00:39:28,950 --> 00:39:30,202
As you wish.
726
00:39:30,744 --> 00:39:34,414
[sighs] Let's all just go to bed.
No more surprises tonight.
727
00:39:34,498 --> 00:39:35,874
Oh, you guys made tea?
728
00:39:38,585 --> 00:39:40,087
[groans quietly]
729
00:39:40,670 --> 00:39:41,546
Who is this?
730
00:39:41,630 --> 00:39:44,257
That's Alex. He doesn't know it,
but his boss was slain
731
00:39:44,341 --> 00:39:46,218
while trying to sell him to some psychos.
732
00:39:46,301 --> 00:39:49,471
-Then why'd you bring him back here?
-He's our new intern.
733
00:39:50,263 --> 00:39:51,473
[grunts weakly]
734
00:39:52,099 --> 00:39:54,101
[ghoulish music playing]
735
00:39:56,853 --> 00:39:59,356
Oh! You dirty son of a...
736
00:39:59,940 --> 00:40:01,483
Have that ball destroyed.
737
00:40:01,566 --> 00:40:02,984
[door opens, then closes]
738
00:40:03,068 --> 00:40:04,319
Sir, it's confirmed.
739
00:40:04,402 --> 00:40:07,155
-The tryouts were raided.
-Excellent.
740
00:40:07,239 --> 00:40:09,074
Start scheduling a new round right away.
741
00:40:09,157 --> 00:40:11,576
And, uh, make sure
our friend Captain Justice
742
00:40:11,660 --> 00:40:13,745
gets another anonymous tip.
743
00:40:16,206 --> 00:40:18,750
There was one applicant who escaped.
744
00:40:21,294 --> 00:40:24,840
[Sigma] Danger Person 83617.
745
00:40:24,923 --> 00:40:26,550
[chuckles]
746
00:40:26,633 --> 00:40:28,718
Well, she's certainly hard to kill.
747
00:40:30,345 --> 00:40:31,763
Pew!
748
00:40:33,974 --> 00:40:35,517
[Beatrix] All right, let's review.
749
00:40:36,143 --> 00:40:40,272
Take the hammer, smash the ATM,
drill a hole, put in some dynamite.
750
00:40:40,355 --> 00:40:41,189
Questions?
751
00:40:41,273 --> 00:40:43,733
Yes. Why don't we just wait
for the tryout prize money?
752
00:40:43,817 --> 00:40:45,402
I told you, it's-- It's coming.
753
00:40:45,485 --> 00:40:48,113
It's just that the League
wants us to show some initiative.
754
00:40:48,196 --> 00:40:50,615
-You're sure they're okay with all this?
-Mm-hm!
755
00:40:50,699 --> 00:40:53,660
I'm a licensed villain, it's legal.
Harold, you have the hammer?
756
00:40:53,743 --> 00:40:55,579
All three. One, two, three.
757
00:40:56,246 --> 00:40:57,664
-Cain, dynamite?
-Yes.
758
00:40:59,499 --> 00:41:02,043
-Where is it?
-Right here.
759
00:41:02,127 --> 00:41:05,088
-These are road flares.
-Are you sure?
760
00:41:07,716 --> 00:41:09,801
-Okay, that one's on me.
-Yeah.
761
00:41:09,885 --> 00:41:12,179
They did throw in some free pepper spray.
762
00:41:12,262 --> 00:41:14,973
Great. Now we just need
to find an ATM with eyes.
763
00:41:15,056 --> 00:41:17,225
Good one, boss. [chuckles]
764
00:41:17,309 --> 00:41:20,061
Where can we find some explosives
this time of night?
765
00:41:20,145 --> 00:41:22,022
Maybe these guys would know.
766
00:41:22,105 --> 00:41:24,107
[sneaky music playing]
767
00:41:24,941 --> 00:41:26,109
[Beatrix] Dang it.
768
00:41:30,864 --> 00:41:35,327
Hey! Hey! This is our spot.
We have dibs.
769
00:41:35,410 --> 00:41:39,039
-What?
-Dibs. You know, first right of refusal.
770
00:41:39,623 --> 00:41:41,541
You'll have to go and find another ATM.
771
00:41:41,625 --> 00:41:43,293
-You gotta be kidding me.
-I'm not.
772
00:41:43,376 --> 00:41:46,379
But if you guys have some dynamite,
we'd be willing to go halfsies.
773
00:41:46,463 --> 00:41:51,384
-Listen, lady, we're not going anywhere.
-Oh, really? Well, it's hammer time.
774
00:41:52,510 --> 00:41:54,596
Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on, hold on.
775
00:41:54,679 --> 00:41:58,058
Why don't we, um,
share the area, all right?
776
00:41:58,141 --> 00:42:01,353
In fact, I would be more
than happy to take you guys
777
00:42:01,436 --> 00:42:03,563
to a very promising vending machine
778
00:42:03,647 --> 00:42:05,106
right down this street.
779
00:42:10,320 --> 00:42:11,780
Big mistake.
780
00:42:17,619 --> 00:42:19,621
[groans] Okay.
781
00:42:22,332 --> 00:42:25,126
So no money, but on the bright side,
782
00:42:25,210 --> 00:42:27,128
we did make the streets
a little less safe.
783
00:42:27,212 --> 00:42:30,298
-So that's still a win.
-Go us!
784
00:42:31,549 --> 00:42:34,636
Hey. How'd the, uh, criming go?
785
00:42:34,719 --> 00:42:36,680
Great. Fine. What do you want?
786
00:42:36,763 --> 00:42:39,599
Uh, could I use a hand
on a little experiment?
787
00:42:39,683 --> 00:42:42,978
-Is it dangerous?
-There's a slight risk of injury.
788
00:42:43,812 --> 00:42:44,854
Harold.
789
00:42:48,066 --> 00:42:49,901
Okay, let's talk next job.
790
00:42:49,985 --> 00:42:53,530
Ideally something that pays a lot.
Like in the millions?
791
00:42:53,613 --> 00:42:55,198
Well, how much is the prize money?
792
00:42:55,282 --> 00:42:58,410
Next job, Cain. We gotta be the bast.
793
00:42:59,744 --> 00:43:00,578
The what?
794
00:43:01,329 --> 00:43:03,665
It's a thing they taught us
at Villain Tryouts.
795
00:43:03,748 --> 00:43:06,626
-Gotcha. What about Killer Petco?
-We can't.
796
00:43:06,710 --> 00:43:09,921
The retail space is sold,
and it's definitely a seller's market.
797
00:43:10,964 --> 00:43:12,382
We need a plan.
798
00:43:13,091 --> 00:43:15,927
[celestial music playing]
799
00:43:28,815 --> 00:43:31,985
Sorry. Still working out some of the bugs.
800
00:43:35,196 --> 00:43:36,406
Carry fridge.
801
00:43:48,960 --> 00:43:50,045
That'll work.
802
00:43:52,547 --> 00:43:54,507
[Beatrix] So you call it
the Healthy Brace?
803
00:43:54,591 --> 00:43:57,344
No, it's the Helpy with a P.
804
00:43:57,427 --> 00:43:58,762
[upbeat music playing]
805
00:43:58,845 --> 00:44:00,555
That's a terrible name.
806
00:44:00,638 --> 00:44:02,974
Harold, are...? Are you okay?
807
00:44:03,058 --> 00:44:05,894
Fine, hungry and gassy.
808
00:44:05,977 --> 00:44:09,606
The system hinders memory,
so he won't remember what happened.
809
00:44:10,231 --> 00:44:12,275
-That might also just be his age.
-Yeah.
810
00:44:13,318 --> 00:44:15,236
So how does it work exactly?
811
00:44:15,320 --> 00:44:18,031
Well, you know how
we only use 10 percent of our brain?
812
00:44:18,990 --> 00:44:22,035
Well, we also only use
5 percent of our muscle.
813
00:44:22,702 --> 00:44:25,497
And the Helpy Brace
accesses the other 95 percent,
814
00:44:25,580 --> 00:44:29,501
which gives the user maximum
strength, coordination, everything.
815
00:44:29,584 --> 00:44:31,252
It also counts your steps.
816
00:44:31,336 --> 00:44:33,088
How did it make him throw a fridge?
817
00:44:33,838 --> 00:44:35,340
Oh, simple.
818
00:44:36,424 --> 00:44:37,550
Technohypnosis.
819
00:44:39,677 --> 00:44:41,221
Or TH, for short.
820
00:44:42,389 --> 00:44:45,016
It's a project I've been working on
for Mr. Megadeath.
821
00:44:45,100 --> 00:44:47,477
[Harold snoring]
822
00:44:47,560 --> 00:44:49,354
He's in sleep mode. It's fine.
823
00:44:49,437 --> 00:44:51,356
But how is he still standing up?
824
00:44:51,439 --> 00:44:53,483
It's the same tech
that they use in Segways.
825
00:44:53,566 --> 00:44:55,944
But the real magic
is in the voice command.
826
00:44:56,027 --> 00:44:58,780
Harold, dance.
827
00:45:00,949 --> 00:45:02,951
[laughs] It's cool, right?
828
00:45:03,034 --> 00:45:04,911
Okay, so that's how he threw the fridge?
829
00:45:05,578 --> 00:45:10,750
Well, the command was to make a sandwich,
but like I said, it's still pretty buggy.
830
00:45:10,834 --> 00:45:13,378
And by buggy, I mean dangerous.
831
00:45:13,878 --> 00:45:17,549
What about breaking into a safe,
like that one?
832
00:45:18,508 --> 00:45:22,637
-Could he do that?
-Probably. Here, give it a try.
833
00:45:23,680 --> 00:45:25,265
Harold, open the safe.
834
00:45:34,566 --> 00:45:36,776
I don't think we're gonna
need dynamite anymore.
835
00:45:37,277 --> 00:45:39,028
Not safe.
836
00:45:39,737 --> 00:45:41,906
-[Alex yells]
-Oh! Okay, um...
837
00:45:41,990 --> 00:45:43,908
-Ow.
-Harold, what are you doing? Stop--
838
00:45:43,992 --> 00:45:46,244
-[groaning]
-Harold!
839
00:45:53,293 --> 00:45:55,795
-[bones crack]
-[groaning]
840
00:45:56,880 --> 00:45:58,715
[suspenseful music playing]
841
00:46:05,597 --> 00:46:07,015
A little help here?
842
00:46:08,766 --> 00:46:09,976
Force quit!
843
00:46:11,895 --> 00:46:13,146
Confirmed.
844
00:46:13,229 --> 00:46:14,230
[music fades]
845
00:46:15,106 --> 00:46:16,232
[screwdriver clatters]
846
00:46:19,819 --> 00:46:22,197
-Oh, no, no, no! No, no!
-Oh, no! No, no.
847
00:46:22,780 --> 00:46:24,782
[Beatrix & Cain sighing]
848
00:46:26,117 --> 00:46:27,243
How'd it go?
849
00:46:29,037 --> 00:46:30,872
[screams]
850
00:46:30,955 --> 00:46:33,374
[shouting gibberish]
851
00:46:34,876 --> 00:46:35,919
[exhales]
852
00:46:36,461 --> 00:46:39,047
All right, so good first test.
Should we go again?
853
00:46:41,049 --> 00:46:43,676
-I don't know if that's gonna be possible.
-No, it's okay.
854
00:46:43,760 --> 00:46:45,428
I think it's just stuck in the bone.
855
00:46:46,137 --> 00:46:47,138
No.
856
00:46:47,972 --> 00:46:49,891
[groans]
857
00:46:50,600 --> 00:46:51,518
Wait.
858
00:46:52,185 --> 00:46:55,230
It just needs a new chip.
Mr. Megadeath might have one.
859
00:46:55,313 --> 00:46:56,231
Should we call him?
860
00:46:57,315 --> 00:46:58,608
[dialing phone]
861
00:46:58,691 --> 00:47:00,151
[line ringing]
862
00:47:02,820 --> 00:47:03,780
[line chimes]
863
00:47:03,863 --> 00:47:06,908
[automated voice] The number you
have reached has been disconnected.
864
00:47:06,991 --> 00:47:10,078
It's doing the... [mimics chime] ...thing.
865
00:47:10,161 --> 00:47:11,454
I might know a guy.
866
00:47:12,956 --> 00:47:13,957
[pins clatter]
867
00:47:14,040 --> 00:47:16,543
Sweet. I love bowling.
868
00:47:16,626 --> 00:47:17,669
[grunts, then thuds]
869
00:47:18,211 --> 00:47:21,089
-You bowl?
-Mostly online.
870
00:47:21,172 --> 00:47:23,508
I'm more of a dodgeball guy.
871
00:47:23,591 --> 00:47:26,010
-Also online.
-All right, you guys stay here,
872
00:47:26,094 --> 00:47:28,137
keep an eye out
while we go and get the chips.
873
00:47:28,221 --> 00:47:30,473
Permission to use lethal force.
874
00:47:30,974 --> 00:47:34,102
-For what?
-On the pins. Kapow.
875
00:47:35,562 --> 00:47:37,522
-Denied.
-Copy.
876
00:47:37,605 --> 00:47:38,731
Just keep a low profile.
877
00:47:38,815 --> 00:47:40,483
-Come on, Cain.
-Roger that.
878
00:47:40,984 --> 00:47:42,860
I hope you're ready to become a man.
879
00:47:43,653 --> 00:47:44,821
How-- How?
880
00:47:44,904 --> 00:47:47,615
Well, you got one ball.
You're halfway there.
881
00:47:49,325 --> 00:47:52,412
-[Beatrix] So who is this guy?
-He's a notoriously violent ex-villain
882
00:47:52,495 --> 00:47:53,454
known as the Seagull.
883
00:47:53,538 --> 00:47:54,831
-[Beatrix] Ex-villain?
-Yeah.
884
00:47:54,914 --> 00:47:57,458
He lost his license
after he pecked a colleague to death
885
00:47:57,542 --> 00:47:59,752
for making bird sounds at him.
886
00:47:59,836 --> 00:48:01,796
He's been a black-market dealer
ever since.
887
00:48:01,879 --> 00:48:03,548
That's where I get our pantyhose.
888
00:48:03,631 --> 00:48:04,716
She's here.
889
00:48:07,677 --> 00:48:11,306
Well, if it isn't Danger Person 83617.
890
00:48:11,973 --> 00:48:15,018
Looks like someone's
got some... time to spare.
891
00:48:16,311 --> 00:48:18,855
Let me do the talking.
We don't want to come off soft.
892
00:48:18,938 --> 00:48:22,317
Just don't bring up his hand, all right?
He's very self-conscious about it.
893
00:48:22,400 --> 00:48:25,737
I'm not gonna be looking at his hand.
I'm gonna be looking at his eyes.
894
00:48:26,446 --> 00:48:27,447
[Beatrix exhales]
895
00:48:28,531 --> 00:48:31,409
Mr. Seagull, it's such a pleasure
to meet with you today.
896
00:48:31,492 --> 00:48:32,619
Really...
897
00:48:38,750 --> 00:48:40,043
What was that?
898
00:48:41,294 --> 00:48:42,253
What?
899
00:48:42,337 --> 00:48:44,922
That face you made when I spun around.
900
00:48:45,715 --> 00:48:46,966
I didn't make a face.
901
00:48:49,510 --> 00:48:51,012
Was it my hand?
902
00:48:51,971 --> 00:48:52,972
What hand?
903
00:48:53,890 --> 00:48:55,141
Oh, that's new.
904
00:48:55,224 --> 00:48:59,729
What we're trying to say is, uh,
do you have one of these?
905
00:49:17,372 --> 00:49:18,998
Hey! You gotta go.
906
00:49:19,082 --> 00:49:21,793
Go. Go. Go! Get!
907
00:49:25,213 --> 00:49:26,714
[door closes]
908
00:49:27,507 --> 00:49:31,219
This is a Romethean mind-control chip.
909
00:49:32,470 --> 00:49:34,263
How did you guys get one of these?
910
00:49:35,264 --> 00:49:37,684
We have a very specialized team.
911
00:49:37,767 --> 00:49:39,560
I will kill you pins!
912
00:49:39,644 --> 00:49:43,815
I will cut your family into splinters
913
00:49:43,898 --> 00:49:46,567
and bathe in your wooden blood!
914
00:49:46,651 --> 00:49:47,694
[yells]
915
00:49:47,777 --> 00:49:49,821
[rock music playing over speakers]
916
00:49:49,904 --> 00:49:51,197
This game is rigged.
917
00:49:51,280 --> 00:49:54,701
-[man] Thank you for tuning in to 98.3.
-Come on. Try this.
918
00:49:54,784 --> 00:49:57,995
[woman] This is now 98.3 Mix.
919
00:49:58,079 --> 00:49:59,956
How'd you get so good at technomancy?
920
00:50:00,039 --> 00:50:02,667
When I was 9,
I found a broken-down arcade game,
921
00:50:02,750 --> 00:50:05,378
and I fiddled with it
until it started working again.
922
00:50:05,461 --> 00:50:08,256
And then I fiddled with it some more
and made a cyborg.
923
00:50:08,339 --> 00:50:10,258
I've been obsessed
with technology ever since.
924
00:50:10,341 --> 00:50:12,677
You know, in my day,
we called them electronicals.
925
00:50:15,346 --> 00:50:16,723
How'd you guys meet?
926
00:50:16,806 --> 00:50:20,393
The three of us started working
for this villain called Opaque Man.
927
00:50:20,476 --> 00:50:23,604
-Isn't he the guy that's almost invisible?
-Yeah. We were his cronies.
928
00:50:23,688 --> 00:50:25,898
-No way!
-BFFs forever.
929
00:50:27,650 --> 00:50:29,068
I wish I had friends.
930
00:50:30,236 --> 00:50:32,697
Oh, you... You don't have friends?
931
00:50:33,281 --> 00:50:36,951
Well, just the ones I program.
And then Mr. Megadeath.
932
00:50:37,034 --> 00:50:39,954
Yeah. Yeah, that probably...
933
00:50:40,955 --> 00:50:41,706
Yeah.
934
00:50:43,124 --> 00:50:45,376
Well, you know, I'll, uh...
935
00:50:46,711 --> 00:50:48,004
I'll be your friend.
936
00:50:49,505 --> 00:50:50,965
-Really?
-Oh, yeah.
937
00:50:51,048 --> 00:50:54,051
I mean, technically,
you're part of the team anyway,
938
00:50:54,135 --> 00:50:57,180
and... basically, we're all your friends.
939
00:50:58,473 --> 00:51:00,933
-Awesome.
-But you do start at the bottom.
940
00:51:01,017 --> 00:51:02,894
-I'm okay with that.
-Great.
941
00:51:04,645 --> 00:51:06,272
Can you lend me some money?
942
00:51:09,650 --> 00:51:11,486
Ten thousand. Cash.
943
00:51:12,195 --> 00:51:14,781
I'm not doing any of that
Bitcoin nonsense anymore.
944
00:51:16,282 --> 00:51:17,617
And how much for one?
945
00:51:19,368 --> 00:51:20,828
Ten thousand, cash.
946
00:51:20,912 --> 00:51:23,122
Do you do financing?
947
00:51:23,206 --> 00:51:25,208
[laughing]
948
00:51:25,291 --> 00:51:26,375
Okay, just...
949
00:51:28,294 --> 00:51:31,339
I mean, do you have the money or not?
950
00:51:31,422 --> 00:51:32,965
-Yes.
-Not physically.
951
00:51:33,049 --> 00:51:36,177
But we can come
to some kind of arrangement.
952
00:51:36,677 --> 00:51:39,180
Such as equity in our evil startup.
953
00:51:40,973 --> 00:51:42,058
No!
954
00:51:43,851 --> 00:51:46,604
You come here, insult me,
955
00:51:47,396 --> 00:51:49,941
and waste my time with nothing to show?
956
00:51:50,024 --> 00:51:52,610
Does the chip we brought
have any trade-in value?
957
00:51:52,693 --> 00:51:54,028
No!
958
00:51:54,946 --> 00:51:58,324
-Does this have trade-in value?
-Hold on. Okay, hold on.
959
00:51:58,407 --> 00:52:00,326
We can get you your money and more.
960
00:52:00,409 --> 00:52:01,911
We just need a handful of chips.
961
00:52:01,994 --> 00:52:05,081
Not hand. Any appendage. Sorry.
962
00:52:05,164 --> 00:52:06,249
Quiet!
963
00:52:06,999 --> 00:52:08,668
Quiet! [squawks]
964
00:52:08,751 --> 00:52:13,214
Do you know why the seagull
is the most magnificent bird?
965
00:52:13,923 --> 00:52:15,716
Because of its unexpected mercy?
966
00:52:15,800 --> 00:52:16,968
No.
967
00:52:17,593 --> 00:52:22,682
It's because the seagull
isn't afraid to eat its own species.
968
00:52:25,810 --> 00:52:26,811
[Beatrix gasps]
969
00:52:28,563 --> 00:52:30,064
[Seagull] This back here...
970
00:52:30,147 --> 00:52:31,399
I got it.
971
00:52:32,024 --> 00:52:33,109
I got it, Pete.
972
00:52:33,192 --> 00:52:36,237
Okay, I got it! Let me do it!
Pete, I can do it.
973
00:52:36,320 --> 00:52:38,364
I can do it myself. I've got--
974
00:52:40,575 --> 00:52:41,868
[Pete groans]
975
00:52:44,120 --> 00:52:46,330
I hope they don't think
this was a hate crime.
976
00:52:53,087 --> 00:52:54,213
Don't look suspicious.
977
00:52:54,297 --> 00:52:56,257
Or do. I don't know what's better here.
978
00:52:58,050 --> 00:53:00,428
[Harold] Hey. Look what I learned today.
979
00:53:01,637 --> 00:53:04,140
That's great. Are these the right ones?
980
00:53:04,223 --> 00:53:05,349
[Alex] Uh...
981
00:53:08,352 --> 00:53:09,312
Yeah. Good to go.
982
00:53:09,395 --> 00:53:12,231
-Great. We gotta go.
-Are you sure? We paid for two more games.
983
00:53:12,315 --> 00:53:16,235
-We need to go right now, okay?
-Someone sounds like a chicken. [clucking]
984
00:53:16,319 --> 00:53:18,070
[Seagull grunting]
985
00:53:19,739 --> 00:53:21,365
[squawks]
986
00:53:21,449 --> 00:53:22,617
[hard-rock music playing]
987
00:53:22,700 --> 00:53:23,868
Give me the remote.
988
00:53:25,161 --> 00:53:26,287
Alex, defend.
989
00:53:38,132 --> 00:53:39,383
[Pete] Get over here.
990
00:53:41,052 --> 00:53:42,345
[groans]
991
00:53:46,057 --> 00:53:46,974
[crowd] Ooh!
992
00:53:47,058 --> 00:53:48,976
[chortling]
993
00:54:09,121 --> 00:54:10,122
[yells]
994
00:54:11,457 --> 00:54:12,708
Wow.
995
00:54:12,792 --> 00:54:15,378
I gotta have one of these. Find them.
996
00:54:15,461 --> 00:54:16,420
♪ Oh ♪
997
00:54:19,715 --> 00:54:20,675
Oh, yes!
998
00:54:26,138 --> 00:54:27,390
[screams]
999
00:54:30,017 --> 00:54:31,102
You!
1000
00:54:34,438 --> 00:54:35,356
[squawks]
1001
00:54:40,695 --> 00:54:42,279
[groans] You're crazy.
1002
00:54:45,116 --> 00:54:46,617
[Seagull] I'll kill you!
1003
00:54:46,701 --> 00:54:47,535
[squawks]
1004
00:54:47,618 --> 00:54:49,203
[screaming]
1005
00:54:57,795 --> 00:54:59,463
[screams]
1006
00:55:00,881 --> 00:55:01,882
I got you.
1007
00:55:01,966 --> 00:55:04,260
[pop music playing on speakers]
1008
00:55:06,971 --> 00:55:08,180
Alex, let's go.
1009
00:55:15,021 --> 00:55:16,647
[line rings]
1010
00:55:17,481 --> 00:55:19,442
[man over phone]
911. What's your emergency?
1011
00:55:19,525 --> 00:55:21,944
[sirens wailing in distance]
1012
00:55:22,987 --> 00:55:24,530
[Beatrix] Alex, hurry up.
1013
00:55:30,536 --> 00:55:33,247
Oh, he's in sleep mode.
Come on, grab his legs.
1014
00:55:33,330 --> 00:55:34,498
Up, up, up.
1015
00:55:34,582 --> 00:55:36,876
Hurry, hurry. Lift with your legs.
1016
00:55:36,959 --> 00:55:37,960
[Cain] One, two...
1017
00:55:39,462 --> 00:55:42,506
Hey, secure the perimeter.
What are you doing?
1018
00:55:42,590 --> 00:55:44,383
-Go interrogate the big guy.
-Detective.
1019
00:55:44,467 --> 00:55:46,552
-What?
-It's the chief.
1020
00:55:47,845 --> 00:55:50,890
Hello, sir.
Yeah, everything's under control.
1021
00:55:50,973 --> 00:55:53,476
-Just some bowlers up to...
-Shenanigans.
1022
00:55:53,559 --> 00:55:55,728
-...shenanigans.
-[Justice] Really?
1023
00:55:56,479 --> 00:55:58,898
Or were they... framed?
1024
00:55:59,523 --> 00:56:00,441
Nice.
1025
00:56:00,524 --> 00:56:02,485
Captain Justice, we've been expecting you.
1026
00:56:02,568 --> 00:56:04,320
I know. Where is he?
1027
00:56:05,571 --> 00:56:08,074
[Seagull] Get off. Let go.
You're in my house.
1028
00:56:08,157 --> 00:56:09,533
Well, well, well.
1029
00:56:10,618 --> 00:56:12,703
Are you the one that made
this place so messy?
1030
00:56:12,787 --> 00:56:13,913
No.
1031
00:56:14,872 --> 00:56:15,915
It was your mom.
1032
00:56:16,457 --> 00:56:18,125
[growls, then squawks]
1033
00:56:18,209 --> 00:56:20,419
[groans, then screams]
1034
00:56:20,503 --> 00:56:24,131
First of all, the alien species
I come from doesn't have moms.
1035
00:56:24,215 --> 00:56:26,133
We developed from plant pods.
1036
00:56:26,217 --> 00:56:28,010
Like unto this earth's fruit tree.
1037
00:56:28,094 --> 00:56:31,097
Except these pods are made up
of mass quantities of creatine
1038
00:56:31,180 --> 00:56:32,515
and essential amino acids.
1039
00:56:33,307 --> 00:56:35,101
-Roasted.
-[Seagull screams]
1040
00:56:35,184 --> 00:56:37,061
Okay, all right, all right. [whimpers]
1041
00:56:37,144 --> 00:56:40,856
It was a gang of no-namers looking
for Romethean mind-control chips.
1042
00:56:40,940 --> 00:56:44,485
-Romethean chips?
-[Seagull] Uh-huh, yep. [groans]
1043
00:56:44,568 --> 00:56:46,946
You don't think Sigma
could be behind this, do you?
1044
00:56:47,029 --> 00:56:50,449
For the sake of this
small-to-medium-sized metropolitan area,
1045
00:56:51,325 --> 00:56:52,284
I hope not.
1046
00:56:52,827 --> 00:56:54,620
Sir, they found this.
1047
00:56:57,540 --> 00:56:59,333
That-- That's the guy.
1048
00:56:59,416 --> 00:57:01,460
He's like their secret weapon.
1049
00:57:01,544 --> 00:57:03,879
Took out my men
like they were a flock of pigeons.
1050
00:57:05,673 --> 00:57:09,051
Huh. Right. I'm on it.
1051
00:57:09,593 --> 00:57:11,262
Uh, you need some backup?
1052
00:57:11,804 --> 00:57:14,473
Does this look like it needs backup?
1053
00:57:15,057 --> 00:57:15,891
-No.
-No.
1054
00:57:15,975 --> 00:57:17,309
[Justice] I mean, look at me.
1055
00:57:17,393 --> 00:57:20,104
There's one thing you can do:
Bring thirst...
1056
00:57:20,187 --> 00:57:22,148
-[all] To justice!
-[both] To justice!
1057
00:57:22,231 --> 00:57:24,525
-[both] To justice!
-[all] To justice!
1058
00:57:24,608 --> 00:57:26,026
Who wants some swag?
1059
00:57:26,610 --> 00:57:28,028
-[cop] Yeah!
-There you go, Tom.
1060
00:57:29,488 --> 00:57:30,906
There you go, Turbo.
1061
00:57:30,990 --> 00:57:32,658
Hey. Yeah, sport.
1062
00:57:32,741 --> 00:57:34,243
-Yeah! Yeah!
-[Justice] Oh, yeah.
1063
00:57:34,869 --> 00:57:37,830
All right. I'm out, fellas.
1064
00:57:38,581 --> 00:57:39,540
Later, skater.
1065
00:57:39,623 --> 00:57:41,333
-[slaps butt]
-[yelps]
1066
00:57:41,417 --> 00:57:43,127
Oh, God. [groans]
1067
00:57:43,210 --> 00:57:44,795
Dang, he's, like, so cool.
1068
00:57:46,046 --> 00:57:47,381
-As for you...
-[Seagull] Huh?
1069
00:57:47,464 --> 00:57:49,175
-...you're going to county.
-No, no!
1070
00:57:49,258 --> 00:57:51,051
-Shut up.
-No, I can't go in a cage.
1071
00:57:51,135 --> 00:57:53,846
I'm a free bird. I'm a free bird!
1072
00:57:57,474 --> 00:57:59,977
Hi. I was wondering
if you could help me make these.
1073
00:58:16,660 --> 00:58:17,745
For your troubles.
1074
00:58:21,707 --> 00:58:22,541
Please?
1075
00:58:28,881 --> 00:58:30,883
[rock beat playing]
1076
00:58:38,933 --> 00:58:39,934
[music stops]
1077
00:58:42,061 --> 00:58:43,103
Perfect.
1078
00:58:43,187 --> 00:58:45,814
And I think it goes without saying
that if you tell anyone
1079
00:58:45,898 --> 00:58:49,193
about what happened here today,
this will be you:
1080
00:58:53,864 --> 00:58:56,533
[paper tearing]
1081
00:59:08,379 --> 00:59:09,505
So I won't say it.
1082
00:59:14,677 --> 00:59:16,053
-[grunts]
-I'm so sorry.
1083
00:59:16,720 --> 00:59:17,972
-Hmm.
-Forgive me.
1084
00:59:19,890 --> 00:59:22,184
Ugh! I am a good shot.
1085
00:59:22,268 --> 00:59:23,978
That's why they call me Deadeye.
1086
00:59:24,061 --> 00:59:26,438
I thought that was because
you were blind in one eye.
1087
00:59:26,522 --> 00:59:28,607
That's one of the reasons
they call me Deadeye.
1088
00:59:28,691 --> 00:59:31,568
-[groaning]
-Hey, hey, it's the man of the hour.
1089
00:59:32,152 --> 00:59:36,115
-Why am I wearing bowling shoes?
-Because you saved us last night, brother.
1090
00:59:36,198 --> 00:59:37,241
What?
1091
00:59:37,324 --> 00:59:39,785
These guys were attacking us,
and you were all:
1092
00:59:39,868 --> 00:59:41,954
[grunts, growls]
1093
00:59:42,037 --> 00:59:44,915
They were trying to kill us.
It was awesome.
1094
00:59:44,999 --> 00:59:46,333
Trying to kill us?
1095
00:59:46,417 --> 00:59:49,628
Yes. Crime in this city
has gotten out of control.
1096
00:59:49,712 --> 00:59:50,921
[door opens]
1097
00:59:51,005 --> 00:59:54,216
-Where's my phone?
-I don't know. Did you eat it?
1098
00:59:54,300 --> 00:59:57,886
Here they are, hot off the... mail.
1099
00:59:58,637 --> 01:00:03,183
Oh, whoa. Hubba, hubba.
1100
01:00:03,267 --> 01:00:04,268
Okay, that's enough.
1101
01:00:04,351 --> 01:00:06,812
This check is written out to Benatrix?
1102
01:00:06,895 --> 01:00:09,857
Benatrix? Oh, dang it. That was one
of the other prize recipients.
1103
01:00:10,482 --> 01:00:13,402
Guess this one's no good.
Anyway, how are you feeling, buddy?
1104
01:00:13,986 --> 01:00:16,572
Good. Uh, actually, pretty sore.
1105
01:00:16,655 --> 01:00:19,116
Yeah, we kind of dropped you
down the stairs last night
1106
01:00:19,199 --> 01:00:21,994
while you were in sleep mode,
but no harm, no foul, right?
1107
01:00:22,077 --> 01:00:23,704
Shouldn't we resolve the check issue?
1108
01:00:23,787 --> 01:00:25,956
-I could call someone.
-No, I'll take care of it.
1109
01:00:26,040 --> 01:00:29,335
Yeah. You don't have my social.
It's best to just keep moving forward.
1110
01:00:29,418 --> 01:00:32,171
-No use waiting for spilled milk.
-Exactly.
1111
01:00:33,130 --> 01:00:33,964
So, what now?
1112
01:00:34,923 --> 01:00:36,592
Uh, more tests
1113
01:00:36,675 --> 01:00:38,677
and try to fix the bugs?
1114
01:00:39,303 --> 01:00:40,262
Great.
1115
01:00:42,181 --> 01:00:44,475
Well, at least he isn't kissing
the bread anymore.
1116
01:00:45,225 --> 01:00:47,061
-[Harold moaning]
-Never mind.
1117
01:00:50,022 --> 01:00:52,316
-Ugh, ugh.
-[coughs]
1118
01:00:53,317 --> 01:00:54,902
What base did I get to?
1119
01:00:54,985 --> 01:00:57,571
Experiment 233, failed.
1120
01:00:59,114 --> 01:01:00,616
Decrease affection.
1121
01:01:00,699 --> 01:01:01,742
What is the deal?
1122
01:01:01,825 --> 01:01:05,329
You said we only needed a few more tweaks,
and we have been tweaking for days.
1123
01:01:05,412 --> 01:01:07,539
Well, mind control
is not an exact science.
1124
01:01:07,623 --> 01:01:08,999
It's more of a social science.
1125
01:01:09,083 --> 01:01:11,627
Harold, maybe you shouldn't
eat the test subject?
1126
01:01:11,710 --> 01:01:13,462
It's what it would have wanted.
1127
01:01:13,545 --> 01:01:16,465
You know, Mr. Megaman
is expecting the Helpy Brace
1128
01:01:16,548 --> 01:01:18,675
to be up and running
by the time he gets back.
1129
01:01:18,759 --> 01:01:20,010
You mean Megadeath?
1130
01:01:20,094 --> 01:01:22,805
Yes. And he's coming back soon.
1131
01:01:22,888 --> 01:01:25,766
I mean, you don't wanna
disappoint him, do you?
1132
01:01:25,849 --> 01:01:28,811
-No.
-Well, we better get this fixed, then.
1133
01:01:29,686 --> 01:01:32,648
Well, that's impossible until we get
the updated wristbands back.
1134
01:01:33,982 --> 01:01:36,026
-The what?
-The wristbands.
1135
01:01:36,110 --> 01:01:38,737
You know, the ones
Mr. Megadeath has for his meeting.
1136
01:01:38,821 --> 01:01:41,240
-Were they in a black duffel bag?
-Yeah.
1137
01:01:43,283 --> 01:01:44,993
So this was never gonna work?
1138
01:01:45,619 --> 01:01:46,537
Of course not.
1139
01:01:46,620 --> 01:01:49,081
Does this look like
cutting-edge technology to you?
1140
01:01:49,164 --> 01:01:49,957
Yeah.
1141
01:01:50,999 --> 01:01:53,502
Why were we running all these tests, then?
1142
01:01:53,710 --> 01:01:56,130
Honestly, I thought
we were just trying to kill time.
1143
01:01:56,213 --> 01:01:57,214
[Cain] Wait!
1144
01:01:57,840 --> 01:01:59,174
I know where they are.
1145
01:02:00,634 --> 01:02:01,677
[Beatrix] What?
1146
01:02:02,553 --> 01:02:04,179
I know where they are!
1147
01:02:06,557 --> 01:02:08,183
[engine stops]
1148
01:02:08,267 --> 01:02:09,393
Hello, Megadeath?
1149
01:02:09,935 --> 01:02:12,229
-What's that? Just go in?
-Can I talk to him?
1150
01:02:12,312 --> 01:02:14,857
No. He's mad at you
for not telling us about this before.
1151
01:02:14,940 --> 01:02:16,984
I'm mad at you
for making me gain ten pounds.
1152
01:02:17,067 --> 01:02:18,360
Okay, thanks.
1153
01:02:18,861 --> 01:02:19,695
He's ready for us.
1154
01:02:19,778 --> 01:02:21,697
Alex, you just stay here
and watch the car.
1155
01:02:21,780 --> 01:02:23,532
-Tell him hi for me.
-Okay.
1156
01:02:27,369 --> 01:02:29,788
[Cain whispering]
Shouldn't we be doing this at night?
1157
01:02:29,872 --> 01:02:32,708
[Beatrix whispering] It's always
crime o'clock somewhere, Cain.
1158
01:02:32,791 --> 01:02:35,043
[man on TV] ...the energy
it gives me to get through the day.
1159
01:02:35,127 --> 01:02:37,671
-[boy on TV] Give me my Justice Juice!
-[man] Food is boring.
1160
01:02:37,754 --> 01:02:39,756
-[boy] I love Justice Juice.
-[man] Justice Juice is fun.
1161
01:02:39,840 --> 01:02:42,468
-[boy] I gotta get that Justice Juice.
-[man] It's what's in their veins.
1162
01:02:42,551 --> 01:02:43,927
Guys, the bag. The bag.
1163
01:02:44,845 --> 01:02:48,182
Hi, is this St. Peter's Medical?
Do you happen to have any dead bodies
1164
01:02:48,265 --> 01:02:50,017
with the name of Alex, by chance?
1165
01:02:51,226 --> 01:02:52,394
Uh-huh.
1166
01:02:52,478 --> 01:02:53,937
[chips rustle]
1167
01:02:54,021 --> 01:02:55,063
Okay.
1168
01:02:58,192 --> 01:02:59,109
What'd he look like?
1169
01:03:00,027 --> 01:03:01,653
No, not that guy. No, someone else.
1170
01:03:01,737 --> 01:03:02,946
-[bottle crinkles]
-Harold.
1171
01:03:05,824 --> 01:03:07,242
[whispering] I need to hydrate.
1172
01:03:07,326 --> 01:03:09,953
-It's coming on.
-Hey, I gotta go.
1173
01:03:10,037 --> 01:03:16,251
[on TV]
♪ Find love through the sorrow ♪
1174
01:03:16,335 --> 01:03:19,713
[melodramatic music playing on TV]
1175
01:03:20,339 --> 01:03:22,633
[man on TV] Whoa, boy. Whoa.
1176
01:03:23,467 --> 01:03:24,301
What?
1177
01:03:24,384 --> 01:03:25,844
Go. Go help him.
1178
01:03:25,928 --> 01:03:28,388
Well, I don't understand mime.
Use your words.
1179
01:03:29,473 --> 01:03:30,641
-[shoes squeal]
-[yelps]
1180
01:03:32,518 --> 01:03:34,353
[gunfire]
1181
01:03:38,690 --> 01:03:41,401
What's going on down here?
1182
01:03:43,028 --> 01:03:46,114
-[rock ballad playing]
-♪ We found love ♪
1183
01:03:47,533 --> 01:03:49,368
♪ Young love ♪
1184
01:03:51,787 --> 01:03:55,040
♪ Yeah, I know that it sounds crazy ♪
1185
01:03:55,541 --> 01:03:58,502
♪ But she had me from the start ♪
1186
01:03:58,585 --> 01:04:01,088
♪ We found heart ♪
1187
01:04:02,464 --> 01:04:05,425
♪ Two hearts ♪
1188
01:04:05,968 --> 01:04:07,344
Turn that off.
1189
01:04:08,595 --> 01:04:10,222
Give me those.
1190
01:04:10,305 --> 01:04:15,102
Do you know how many wrongful deaths
occur with home firearms?
1191
01:04:15,185 --> 01:04:17,479
Mrs. Megadeath, this was an accident.
1192
01:04:17,563 --> 01:04:18,855
You're an accident!
1193
01:04:18,939 --> 01:04:22,526
That's Megadeath's wife?
Megadeath was like 36.
1194
01:04:22,609 --> 01:04:24,111
Yeah. So cool.
1195
01:04:24,194 --> 01:04:26,280
[Mrs. Megadeath]
I just bought that yesterday.
1196
01:04:26,363 --> 01:04:30,867
Now I am hearing news
about some nerd with a bracelet
1197
01:04:30,951 --> 01:04:33,245
that destroyed a bowling alley.
1198
01:04:33,870 --> 01:04:35,581
Ring any bells?
1199
01:04:35,664 --> 01:04:37,666
-Probably the intern.
-You think?
1200
01:04:37,749 --> 01:04:40,794
In the meantime,
you guys are just thinking
1201
01:04:40,877 --> 01:04:45,465
he's gonna mosey on up to the front door.
1202
01:04:45,966 --> 01:04:46,967
Hello?
1203
01:04:48,802 --> 01:04:49,636
Friends?
1204
01:04:50,137 --> 01:04:52,556
[Mrs. Megadeath] I am in my golden years,
1205
01:04:53,098 --> 01:04:58,395
but instead of grinding away
on Peloton trainers,
1206
01:04:58,478 --> 01:05:03,609
I am stuck here with you two goofballs,
micromanaging a kidnapping!
1207
01:05:03,692 --> 01:05:06,862
Alex, what are you doing here?
You're supposed to be watching the car.
1208
01:05:06,945 --> 01:05:08,196
-I got bored.
-Right.
1209
01:05:08,280 --> 01:05:09,823
Well, we're kind of in a meeting.
1210
01:05:09,906 --> 01:05:13,243
Well, also, I wanted to apologize
'cause I feel like I let you guys down.
1211
01:05:13,327 --> 01:05:14,369
Seriously, it's fine.
1212
01:05:14,453 --> 01:05:17,873
Please, I-- I know I'm not
a great communicator. [clears throat]
1213
01:05:20,000 --> 01:05:21,168
Dear friends...
1214
01:05:21,251 --> 01:05:23,545
-[watch chimes]
-Oh, great.
1215
01:05:23,629 --> 01:05:26,089
Now I'm late for Pilates.
1216
01:05:26,173 --> 01:05:29,843
Find him, or you two are fired.
1217
01:05:29,926 --> 01:05:31,720
And I mean that literally.
1218
01:05:32,763 --> 01:05:34,473
With a flamethrower!
1219
01:05:34,556 --> 01:05:36,058
[both] Sorry, Mrs. Megadeath.
1220
01:05:36,141 --> 01:05:39,728
And stop calling me Mrs. Megadeath.
1221
01:05:39,811 --> 01:05:40,771
[both] Sorry, Deb.
1222
01:05:45,609 --> 01:05:46,693
[door slams upstairs]
1223
01:05:46,777 --> 01:05:47,819
[scoffs]
1224
01:05:48,487 --> 01:05:51,698
Okay, I'm not gonna lie. That hurt.
1225
01:05:51,782 --> 01:05:52,866
Maybe...
1226
01:05:54,159 --> 01:05:57,037
Maybe we should leave, like off the grid.
1227
01:05:57,120 --> 01:05:59,122
-You mean abandon our posts?
-[hit man] Yeah.
1228
01:05:59,206 --> 01:06:03,460
-I mean, she doesn't appreciate us.
-You know who appreciates us? Megadeath.
1229
01:06:03,543 --> 01:06:04,586
[hit man] I know.
1230
01:06:05,212 --> 01:06:07,005
-And I killed him.
-You did.
1231
01:06:07,089 --> 01:06:09,675
That's gonna take a lot
of sessions to work through.
1232
01:06:11,468 --> 01:06:13,261
You thinking what I'm thinking?
1233
01:06:14,012 --> 01:06:15,263
[both] Mutiny.
1234
01:06:15,639 --> 01:06:18,016
No, no, no.
1235
01:06:18,600 --> 01:06:20,435
No!
1236
01:06:21,061 --> 01:06:22,479
Heresy!
1237
01:06:22,562 --> 01:06:24,731
-[Cain] Harold, don't--
-Die!
1238
01:06:24,815 --> 01:06:25,982
Please don't.
1239
01:06:27,025 --> 01:06:29,277
"Ever since I got
the internship with Megadeath,
1240
01:06:29,361 --> 01:06:31,238
life was finally turning around.
1241
01:06:31,321 --> 01:06:32,989
But then you guys came into my life,
1242
01:06:33,073 --> 01:06:36,034
and you must be great
because Mr. Megadeath trusts you guys.
1243
01:06:38,829 --> 01:06:42,457
In a great country such as this,
the United States of America,
1244
01:06:42,958 --> 01:06:44,626
James Blunt really said it best.
1245
01:06:44,710 --> 01:06:46,002
[clears throat]
1246
01:06:46,086 --> 01:06:47,170
♪ It's been lonely ♪
1247
01:06:47,796 --> 01:06:50,507
♪ Trying to get your attention
From a thousand miles away ♪
1248
01:06:53,301 --> 01:06:54,886
♪ Yeah, we both know ♪
1249
01:06:54,970 --> 01:06:58,181
♪ In between you and me
There's an ocean ♪
1250
01:06:58,765 --> 01:07:00,100
But I digress.
1251
01:07:00,183 --> 01:07:01,143
Or do I?
1252
01:07:03,770 --> 01:07:07,399
Because you can never really digress
an apology as long as it's sincere.
1253
01:07:07,482 --> 01:07:10,110
So in conclusion, I'm sorry.
1254
01:07:10,193 --> 01:07:11,862
And God bless America."
1255
01:07:11,945 --> 01:07:15,031
["American the Beautiful"
playing on kazoo]
1256
01:07:17,659 --> 01:07:19,119
Can we talk about this later?
1257
01:07:19,202 --> 01:07:21,621
Yeah. I was just worried
I drove everyone away.
1258
01:07:21,705 --> 01:07:23,290
[clangs]
1259
01:07:24,624 --> 01:07:27,461
-What was that?
-Um, no. Uh, tell me more about that.
1260
01:07:27,544 --> 01:07:29,463
Well, I've never really
had friends before.
1261
01:07:30,255 --> 01:07:33,633
And sometimes I feel like people
are just trying to get away from me
1262
01:07:33,717 --> 01:07:36,428
because, you know, I'm weird.
1263
01:07:36,511 --> 01:07:37,971
No. You're not.
1264
01:07:38,054 --> 01:07:40,390
No, seriously.
Even my youth pastor told me.
1265
01:07:41,099 --> 01:07:43,018
Like as a joke, you think?
1266
01:07:43,101 --> 01:07:44,644
No, he was being for real.
1267
01:07:45,228 --> 01:07:47,105
Listen, everyone's a little weird.
1268
01:07:47,189 --> 01:07:49,941
You just have to find the weird people
who accept you for you
1269
01:07:50,025 --> 01:07:51,109
and be your best self.
1270
01:07:51,193 --> 01:07:53,570
[Harold grunting]
1271
01:07:53,653 --> 01:07:55,947
Harold, it's me!
1272
01:07:57,157 --> 01:07:59,367
We need to go. We need to go.
1273
01:07:59,910 --> 01:08:01,077
That's how I can fit in?
1274
01:08:01,661 --> 01:08:04,122
[sighs] That's how you can be happy.
1275
01:08:04,206 --> 01:08:06,625
-And don't worry, you're still our friend.
-Thanks.
1276
01:08:08,877 --> 01:08:09,878
Oh.
1277
01:08:14,883 --> 01:08:16,718
Hey, how was the meeting?
1278
01:08:18,678 --> 01:08:22,182
It was good.
Well, it was a soft yes, so...
1279
01:08:22,265 --> 01:08:23,266
Not for me.
1280
01:08:23,767 --> 01:08:24,768
Dinner, anyone?
1281
01:08:31,233 --> 01:08:34,319
[over transmission] I've been thinking,
we should keep Alex around.
1282
01:08:34,402 --> 01:08:35,737
You know, watch over him.
1283
01:08:35,821 --> 01:08:38,281
Behind every great villain
is a great tech guy.
1284
01:08:38,365 --> 01:08:40,575
[over transmission]
I think that's a great idea.
1285
01:08:40,659 --> 01:08:43,119
Do you think we should maybe
tell him about Megadeath?
1286
01:08:44,037 --> 01:08:45,664
Maybe after we take over the world.
1287
01:08:49,209 --> 01:08:51,419
[Alex] Guess what. Free paper plates!
1288
01:08:51,503 --> 01:08:53,922
[all cheering, laughing]
1289
01:08:56,550 --> 01:08:59,219
[Beatrix] Those are mine.
Give them to me! Give them to me!
1290
01:08:59,302 --> 01:09:00,971
[group chattering]
1291
01:09:06,059 --> 01:09:07,519
-[metal clangs]
-[gasps]
1292
01:09:07,602 --> 01:09:09,312
-[intense music playing]
-[grunts]
1293
01:09:16,069 --> 01:09:17,028
[yells]
1294
01:09:25,453 --> 01:09:26,413
What's going on?
1295
01:09:27,163 --> 01:09:28,206
It's ready.
1296
01:09:28,290 --> 01:09:29,791
What is? Breakfast?
1297
01:09:29,875 --> 01:09:31,001
No, the Helpy Brace.
1298
01:09:31,918 --> 01:09:34,212
Harold, make me a sandwich.
1299
01:09:37,007 --> 01:09:39,050
I made the adjustments last night.
1300
01:09:39,718 --> 01:09:40,552
Completed.
1301
01:09:40,635 --> 01:09:43,221
See? He made it even though I said
"Make me a sandwich"
1302
01:09:43,305 --> 01:09:44,973
instead of "Make a sandwich for me."
1303
01:09:45,056 --> 01:09:48,018
-Yes!
-He knew the difference! Grammar.
1304
01:09:48,894 --> 01:09:50,645
Here, ask him anything.
1305
01:09:51,688 --> 01:09:53,315
Harold, open the safe.
1306
01:10:03,450 --> 01:10:05,493
[in French accent] The door is open.
1307
01:10:05,577 --> 01:10:07,662
[Alex giggles]
I added that last night too.
1308
01:10:07,746 --> 01:10:10,582
You can program him
with five different accents.
1309
01:10:10,665 --> 01:10:11,750
Great job, Alex.
1310
01:10:15,670 --> 01:10:18,673
My friends, I bought us a new safe...
1311
01:10:22,052 --> 01:10:24,095
Did you guys break the door
on my new safe?
1312
01:10:24,596 --> 01:10:26,723
Cain, I thought it was a communal safe.
1313
01:10:28,224 --> 01:10:29,768
[exhales slowly]
1314
01:10:30,894 --> 01:10:33,021
You guys need to start
buying your own things.
1315
01:10:33,647 --> 01:10:36,650
Break my safe once, shame on me.
1316
01:10:37,233 --> 01:10:38,777
Break my safe twice...
1317
01:10:40,153 --> 01:10:41,821
-shame on me.
-Shame on you. Yeah.
1318
01:10:41,905 --> 01:10:44,574
-When's that prize money coming?
-[Beatrix] Soon.
1319
01:10:44,658 --> 01:10:46,284
-It better be.
-[Beatrix] It's soon.
1320
01:10:46,368 --> 01:10:48,745
Better be soon.
'Cause I cannot keep this up.
1321
01:10:48,828 --> 01:10:52,374
I'm having to sell stuff
that you wouldn't believe.
1322
01:10:52,457 --> 01:10:53,541
Sorry, Cain.
1323
01:10:54,501 --> 01:10:56,795
Now let's do crimes.
1324
01:10:56,878 --> 01:10:59,714
[techno-rock music playing]
1325
01:10:59,798 --> 01:11:01,675
♪ The kids, the kids are the best ♪
1326
01:11:02,175 --> 01:11:03,843
♪ The kids, the kids are the best ♪
1327
01:11:04,386 --> 01:11:08,390
♪ The kids, the kids are the best
The kids, the kids are the best ♪
1328
01:11:23,113 --> 01:11:25,991
Hey, guys, do something funny.
1329
01:11:36,001 --> 01:11:38,003
♪ Get with the kids
Get with the kids ♪
1330
01:11:38,086 --> 01:11:39,379
♪ Kids are the best ♪
1331
01:11:40,255 --> 01:11:41,715
♪ Kids are the best... ♪
1332
01:11:41,798 --> 01:11:42,799
[yells]
1333
01:11:43,842 --> 01:11:45,510
-[Beatrix] Whoa!
-Sorry, B!
1334
01:11:45,593 --> 01:11:46,553
[Cain] Shoot it!
1335
01:11:48,555 --> 01:11:49,723
Harold, what did you think?
1336
01:11:49,806 --> 01:11:53,643
Well, an amazing treatise
on how to achieve your goals
1337
01:11:53,727 --> 01:11:55,770
without dealing with abstract scruples.
1338
01:11:55,854 --> 01:11:58,648
Did you guys get how
to pronounce his last name?
1339
01:11:58,732 --> 01:12:00,567
I couldn't figure out...
1340
01:12:00,650 --> 01:12:02,694
-"Machiavelli"?
-[Beatrix] It's "Machiavelli."
1341
01:12:04,404 --> 01:12:05,280
♪ Hey ♪
1342
01:12:08,199 --> 01:12:09,409
♪ Great strength ♪
1343
01:12:16,332 --> 01:12:18,376
♪ Get with the kids
Get with the kids ♪
1344
01:12:19,002 --> 01:12:21,046
[Beatrix] Take it. Ooh, I'll take it.
1345
01:12:21,129 --> 01:12:23,715
[all cheering]
1346
01:12:25,383 --> 01:12:27,302
♪ The kids, the kids are the best ♪
1347
01:12:27,802 --> 01:12:29,554
♪ The kids, the kids are the best ♪
1348
01:12:30,055 --> 01:12:31,806
♪ The kids, the kids are the best ♪
1349
01:12:32,348 --> 01:12:34,142
♪ The kids, the kids are the best ♪
1350
01:12:34,476 --> 01:12:36,311
♪ The kids, the kids are the best ♪
1351
01:12:36,936 --> 01:12:38,938
♪ The kids, the kids are the best ♪
1352
01:12:41,775 --> 01:12:45,320
I'm also getting from this book that
France might be a good place for us to go.
1353
01:12:45,403 --> 01:12:48,364
-[Alex] France?
-Because they seem so easy to fool.
1354
01:12:50,116 --> 01:12:51,576
-Yes. Yes.
-Yes.
1355
01:12:51,659 --> 01:12:52,535
Yes.
1356
01:13:03,379 --> 01:13:06,257
Hey, can you help me falsify
some more documents?
1357
01:13:06,800 --> 01:13:07,717
[Sigma] Gladly.
1358
01:13:08,218 --> 01:13:09,886
[ghoulish music playing]
1359
01:13:09,969 --> 01:13:16,226
And, uh, how will you be paying for them?
Cash? Credits? Romethean chips?
1360
01:13:16,893 --> 01:13:18,895
-How did you find me?
-Find?
1361
01:13:20,146 --> 01:13:25,110
I've been watching you ever since
you deserted, Danger Person 83617.
1362
01:13:25,193 --> 01:13:28,321
Or, should I say, Beatrix?
1363
01:13:29,739 --> 01:13:31,908
No, wait, that's--
I don't like that either.
1364
01:13:31,991 --> 01:13:34,619
You have been very busy
with your little...
1365
01:13:35,411 --> 01:13:36,621
Helpy Brace, is it?
1366
01:13:36,704 --> 01:13:38,039
It's a working title.
1367
01:13:38,123 --> 01:13:39,541
Keep working on that.
1368
01:13:39,624 --> 01:13:43,002
-All right, let's do this.
-No, no, no. I didn't come here to fight.
1369
01:13:43,086 --> 01:13:45,255
Right. You're here to destroy. Save it.
1370
01:13:45,338 --> 01:13:47,549
I came here to offer you a job.
1371
01:13:47,632 --> 01:13:48,925
Yeah, I got a job for you.
1372
01:13:49,008 --> 01:13:50,969
Here's your application.
Here's your résumé.
1373
01:13:53,513 --> 01:13:55,557
You've got talent, Danger Person.
1374
01:13:55,640 --> 01:13:57,725
Now, I got to admit,
I didn't see it at first,
1375
01:13:57,809 --> 01:14:00,562
but when I was observing you
at that bowling alley,
1376
01:14:00,645 --> 01:14:02,856
and then at the mansion,
and then all over town,
1377
01:14:02,939 --> 01:14:06,401
I realized you're exactly
what I have been looking for.
1378
01:14:06,985 --> 01:14:08,361
A Justice Juice.
1379
01:14:09,654 --> 01:14:10,530
What?
1380
01:14:11,281 --> 01:14:15,326
-Justice Juice. Bring thirst to justice.
-Yeah, I know it. I know it.
1381
01:14:15,869 --> 01:14:18,997
-Anyway, this is my company.
-You aren't a villain?
1382
01:14:19,080 --> 01:14:20,915
I'm a businessman.
1383
01:14:20,999 --> 01:14:25,170
Any time one of our Justice Juice heroes
beats a bad guy
1384
01:14:25,253 --> 01:14:29,174
or stops a building from catching
on fire, anything heroic at all,
1385
01:14:29,257 --> 01:14:31,467
our sales skyrocket.
1386
01:14:31,551 --> 01:14:33,261
But at the same time,
1387
01:14:33,344 --> 01:14:36,598
the hero's success
further angers the villain.
1388
01:14:36,681 --> 01:14:38,183
Who buy your power supplements.
1389
01:14:38,266 --> 01:14:40,894
Exactly. I'm playing them from both sides.
1390
01:14:40,977 --> 01:14:43,396
-I'm a genius.
-So why me?
1391
01:14:43,479 --> 01:14:44,772
I'm glad you asked.
1392
01:14:45,273 --> 01:14:48,818
Despite the zero calories
and energy that lasts all day long,
1393
01:14:48,902 --> 01:14:51,112
the brand's never really
been able to attract
1394
01:14:51,196 --> 01:14:54,866
the most coveted
retail demographic of all:
1395
01:14:55,909 --> 01:14:56,743
women.
1396
01:14:57,660 --> 01:14:59,370
That is, until now.
1397
01:14:59,454 --> 01:15:03,333
Introducing Lady Justice Juice.
1398
01:15:05,293 --> 01:15:06,336
For her.
1399
01:15:06,419 --> 01:15:10,131
You would be Lady Justice,
henchwoman gone hero.
1400
01:15:10,215 --> 01:15:14,719
Strong enough to inspire women,
but not so strong as to scare off men.
1401
01:15:14,802 --> 01:15:16,554
-Ugh.
-It's a thing.
1402
01:15:16,638 --> 01:15:19,724
And the best part about it is,
because the can is pink,
1403
01:15:19,807 --> 01:15:21,184
we get to charge more.
1404
01:15:21,267 --> 01:15:23,478
The focus groups love this.
1405
01:15:23,561 --> 01:15:27,023
-So this isn't about the Helpy Brace?
-No, absolutely not.
1406
01:15:27,106 --> 01:15:29,567
I mean, don't get me wrong,
I still intend to take that
1407
01:15:29,651 --> 01:15:32,528
and sell it in my villains line
of products. But think about it.
1408
01:15:32,612 --> 01:15:35,490
Who needs mind control
when you've got marketing?
1409
01:15:35,573 --> 01:15:36,950
I appreciate the offer,
1410
01:15:37,033 --> 01:15:40,328
but I'm here to conquer the world,
not quench its thirst.
1411
01:15:40,411 --> 01:15:45,124
Conquer the world.
How is it again? With $1 billion?
1412
01:15:45,792 --> 01:15:46,918
Maybe.
1413
01:15:47,001 --> 01:15:48,670
Sweetheart, that number's a myth.
1414
01:15:48,753 --> 01:15:52,257
Trust me, not even with 20 billion
could you even get close.
1415
01:15:52,340 --> 01:15:53,758
Ask Jeff Bezos.
1416
01:15:53,841 --> 01:15:55,134
You know him?
1417
01:15:55,218 --> 01:15:58,054
But this right here, this is real.
1418
01:15:58,137 --> 01:16:02,183
I know it's not your mayhem, destruction
dream gig that you've always wanted,
1419
01:16:02,267 --> 01:16:04,435
but most jobs aren't.
1420
01:16:05,103 --> 01:16:06,521
What about my friends?
1421
01:16:07,730 --> 01:16:10,149
I've always felt it safer
just to cut them loose.
1422
01:16:12,277 --> 01:16:13,361
Think about it.
1423
01:16:15,905 --> 01:16:18,658
But if I were you,
I wouldn't take too long.
1424
01:16:19,784 --> 01:16:20,910
What do you mean?
1425
01:16:22,453 --> 01:16:25,498
It's not just the bad guys
you should worry about.
1426
01:16:25,581 --> 01:16:28,584
[ghoulish music playing over club beat]
1427
01:16:30,378 --> 01:16:31,713
Captain Justice.
1428
01:16:32,255 --> 01:16:36,175
Harold, team meeting, ASAP.
We need a-- Where are you?
1429
01:16:36,259 --> 01:16:37,302
-The arcade.
-What?
1430
01:16:37,385 --> 01:16:39,762
Combat training.
You want a pencil or a Tootsie Roll?
1431
01:16:39,846 --> 01:16:42,640
-Put Cain on the phone.
-[Cain] You gonna come play Skee-Ball?
1432
01:16:42,724 --> 01:16:43,933
-No. Is Alex with you?
-No.
1433
01:16:44,017 --> 01:16:46,311
-Where is he?
-I don't know. The library?
1434
01:16:46,394 --> 01:16:50,064
-I'm not my brother's keeper.
-Find him and get to HQ, quick.
1435
01:16:51,190 --> 01:16:52,567
[intense music playing]
1436
01:16:52,650 --> 01:16:53,735
Alex!
1437
01:16:53,818 --> 01:16:55,903
Alex! Alex!
1438
01:16:56,487 --> 01:16:57,989
[Justice] Well, hello there.
1439
01:16:59,115 --> 01:17:00,742
I'm also looking for Alex.
1440
01:17:02,952 --> 01:17:05,621
-Don't know him.
-Weren't you just yelling his name?
1441
01:17:06,539 --> 01:17:08,708
Mm, I don't think so.
1442
01:17:08,791 --> 01:17:10,960
[Harold & Cain from outside] Alex!
1443
01:17:11,044 --> 01:17:11,961
[Harold] Alex!
1444
01:17:12,879 --> 01:17:14,464
[Cain] Alex!
1445
01:17:16,382 --> 01:17:17,550
Alex?
1446
01:17:18,051 --> 01:17:21,304
-No. Sorry, we're...
-[Harold] Alex!
1447
01:17:21,387 --> 01:17:25,391
[Cain] We're looking for a kid named Alex.
Have you seen a kid named Alex?
1448
01:17:25,475 --> 01:17:28,811
I'm sorry, I'm looking for
our friend named Alex.
1449
01:17:29,812 --> 01:17:31,939
-[Harold] Alex!
-[Cain] Alex!
1450
01:17:33,024 --> 01:17:34,192
I can't find Al--
1451
01:17:34,942 --> 01:17:35,902
[whirs]
1452
01:17:36,694 --> 01:17:38,946
-Hero?
-Ah, a fan.
1453
01:17:41,407 --> 01:17:43,868
Anyway, I happen
to have found his phone.
1454
01:17:43,951 --> 01:17:46,120
I was hoping to return it to him.
1455
01:17:46,204 --> 01:17:48,915
You couldn't give me
his last known coordinates, could you?
1456
01:17:49,957 --> 01:17:51,292
Could you give us a minute?
1457
01:17:51,959 --> 01:17:53,002
[door slams]
1458
01:17:53,086 --> 01:17:56,214
-How did he track us here?
-Probably our billing statements.
1459
01:17:56,297 --> 01:17:58,257
-What?
-We joined a family plan.
1460
01:17:58,341 --> 01:18:00,301
We needed three people.
You were at tryouts.
1461
01:18:00,385 --> 01:18:02,387
-Ugh.
-Why don't we just call the League?
1462
01:18:02,470 --> 01:18:04,305
-No, they can't know anything.
-Why not?
1463
01:18:04,389 --> 01:18:07,767
-Because I said so.
-I say we interrogate him, lock him up,
1464
01:18:07,850 --> 01:18:10,520
shoot rubber bands
right into his eyeballs.
1465
01:18:11,896 --> 01:18:13,648
Think about it, master.
1466
01:18:13,731 --> 01:18:17,985
You play your cards right,
you've got your first nemesis.
1467
01:18:18,069 --> 01:18:19,862
This could be huge for you.
1468
01:18:19,946 --> 01:18:22,573
Okay, new plan. Go out there
and tell him Alex is dead.
1469
01:18:22,657 --> 01:18:25,076
-But I'm bad at lying.
-Tell him whatever you want.
1470
01:18:25,159 --> 01:18:28,329
Just don't mention secret plans
or stealing or mind-control bracelets.
1471
01:18:28,413 --> 01:18:30,456
[Justice]
Mind-control bracelets?
1472
01:18:30,540 --> 01:18:32,708
Using mind-control chips, perhaps?
1473
01:18:33,292 --> 01:18:34,335
How did you...?
1474
01:18:34,419 --> 01:18:37,380
[Justice] Super-hearing
and a bit of common sense.
1475
01:18:37,463 --> 01:18:38,965
Oh, yeah? Then what am I saying?
1476
01:18:39,048 --> 01:18:39,966
[mouths words]
1477
01:18:40,091 --> 01:18:42,969
[Justice] You just asked
what two plus two is.
1478
01:18:43,052 --> 01:18:44,512
Two plus two is four.
1479
01:18:47,265 --> 01:18:49,267
-He's good.
-Yeah, I guess he can hear us.
1480
01:18:50,226 --> 01:18:51,519
Listen.
1481
01:18:51,602 --> 01:18:54,021
[suspenseful music playing]
1482
01:19:03,114 --> 01:19:04,657
Run out of hands?
1483
01:19:06,200 --> 01:19:07,243
[grunts]
1484
01:19:10,580 --> 01:19:11,747
Touché.
1485
01:19:11,831 --> 01:19:14,459
-Can you help me down?
-I'm floating too. I can't.
1486
01:19:14,542 --> 01:19:17,253
-You help me, and then I'll help you.
-Yeah, I'll do that.
1487
01:19:17,336 --> 01:19:20,214
Just a suggestion.
I've never been in this situation before.
1488
01:19:20,298 --> 01:19:21,549
Yeah, me neither.
1489
01:19:22,049 --> 01:19:24,677
People are usually quieter
before they die.
1490
01:19:25,761 --> 01:19:28,389
[Cain & Beatrix choking]
1491
01:19:33,436 --> 01:19:35,021
You're making a mistake.
1492
01:19:35,771 --> 01:19:37,398
I don't make mistakes.
1493
01:19:39,650 --> 01:19:41,319
I make justice.
1494
01:19:43,237 --> 01:19:45,448
Hey. Make this.
1495
01:19:51,913 --> 01:19:52,830
Bummer.
1496
01:19:59,587 --> 01:20:01,589
[solemn music playing]
1497
01:20:03,549 --> 01:20:07,136
[automated voice on belt speaker]
Warning: Hero down. Warning: Hero down.
1498
01:20:07,220 --> 01:20:10,431
It appears you have killed
Captain Justice.
1499
01:20:10,515 --> 01:20:11,265
[coughing]
1500
01:20:11,349 --> 01:20:13,726
If you feel you have reached
this recording in error,
1501
01:20:13,809 --> 01:20:15,478
please hang up and try again.
1502
01:20:15,561 --> 01:20:18,105
You eviscerated Captain Justice!
1503
01:20:19,565 --> 01:20:21,484
Do you think he's gonna be okay?
1504
01:20:22,026 --> 01:20:22,985
Probably not.
1505
01:20:23,069 --> 01:20:26,531
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
1506
01:20:26,614 --> 01:20:29,825
-Okay. Here you go.
-No, you, get some starch.
1507
01:20:29,909 --> 01:20:33,246
You get a solidifier.
We need to get him to a hospital.
1508
01:20:33,329 --> 01:20:36,165
Cain, come on.
We gotta go, buddy. We gotta go.
1509
01:20:38,459 --> 01:20:39,961
[Alex] Sweet.
1510
01:20:40,545 --> 01:20:42,463
-I love green Jell-O.
-No, no, no, no!
1511
01:20:42,547 --> 01:20:45,550
-No, don't eat that! Don't eat that!
-[Cain] You just ate him.
1512
01:20:45,633 --> 01:20:47,802
-[Beatrix] Where have you been?
-The library.
1513
01:20:49,971 --> 01:20:51,097
[Cain sobs]
1514
01:20:51,180 --> 01:20:52,431
Is this my phone?
1515
01:20:52,515 --> 01:20:54,267
[Harold] Hello, League of Evil?
1516
01:20:54,350 --> 01:20:56,686
Yeah, we just eviscerated a hero.
1517
01:20:56,769 --> 01:20:58,521
-No. No!
-[Harold] What?
1518
01:20:59,981 --> 01:21:03,109
Master, what are you doing?
We have to call the League. It's protocol.
1519
01:21:03,192 --> 01:21:05,653
We are not protocolling anyone.
We need to disappear.
1520
01:21:05,736 --> 01:21:08,030
No more contact
with the League, with anyone.
1521
01:21:08,114 --> 01:21:10,199
-What about Mr. Megadeath?
-He's dead.
1522
01:21:11,325 --> 01:21:14,078
-Dead?
-Yeah, for a while. Now we need to go.
1523
01:21:14,161 --> 01:21:17,373
-[Harold] What about the prize money?
-There is no prize money!
1524
01:21:18,874 --> 01:21:21,377
Okay? I never passed the tryouts.
1525
01:21:21,460 --> 01:21:23,462
You lied about being a villain?
1526
01:21:23,546 --> 01:21:26,632
Yes, but in my defense, you believed me.
1527
01:21:28,551 --> 01:21:31,178
-Why would you do this?
-You lied to Alex.
1528
01:21:31,262 --> 01:21:34,307
-I shot a man for you.
-Technically, he's an alien.
1529
01:21:34,390 --> 01:21:35,766
I thought we were friends.
1530
01:21:35,850 --> 01:21:38,769
We are friends. And now we're accomplices,
which is even cooler.
1531
01:21:38,853 --> 01:21:39,937
But we gotta go.
1532
01:21:40,021 --> 01:21:42,940
The cops are on the way,
and Sigma knows where we are.
1533
01:21:43,024 --> 01:21:46,611
-Who's Sigma?
-He's the bast guy. Just trust me.
1534
01:21:48,696 --> 01:21:49,655
I'm sorry...
1535
01:21:50,698 --> 01:21:52,783
but I don't trust traitors.
1536
01:21:52,867 --> 01:21:56,871
Okay, fine. If you wanna get caught
by the cops, that's fine by me.
1537
01:21:56,954 --> 01:21:58,497
Come on, guys.
1538
01:21:58,581 --> 01:21:59,498
[Harold] No.
1539
01:22:00,499 --> 01:22:03,002
There is no "we."
1540
01:22:05,129 --> 01:22:06,005
Alex?
1541
01:22:13,137 --> 01:22:16,265
Fine. If that's how it's gonna be, fine.
1542
01:22:16,974 --> 01:22:19,477
I was probably just gonna
kill you all anyways.
1543
01:22:21,395 --> 01:22:23,230
[melancholy folk music playing]
1544
01:22:25,358 --> 01:22:30,196
♪ Tell me, can you reach the highest ♪
1545
01:22:31,238 --> 01:22:34,992
♪ And never once misstep? ♪
1546
01:22:36,786 --> 01:22:41,082
♪ To fall down from the tallest peaks ♪
1547
01:22:41,165 --> 01:22:46,629
♪ Will leave you in the deepest depths ♪
1548
01:22:48,214 --> 01:22:52,760
♪ Well, nothing ever lasts forever ♪
1549
01:22:53,552 --> 01:22:58,766
♪ Yeah, with time
It comes down in a blaze ♪
1550
01:22:59,850 --> 01:23:04,397
♪ The air we breathe is cold and empty ♪
1551
01:23:05,398 --> 01:23:09,944
♪ And yet it feeds the flames ♪
1552
01:23:10,736 --> 01:23:15,324
♪ Oh, does my armor sparkle ♪
1553
01:23:15,408 --> 01:23:20,955
♪ 'Cause it's rusting at the seams? ♪
1554
01:23:22,456 --> 01:23:27,545
♪ And do you see a life that's full? ♪
1555
01:23:27,628 --> 01:23:28,838
[photographer] Good, good.
1556
01:23:28,921 --> 01:23:31,340
♪ Because empty's all I'll ever be ♪
1557
01:23:34,135 --> 01:23:36,512
♪ Empty's all I'll ever be ♪
1558
01:23:36,595 --> 01:23:37,972
-[can opens]
-[slurping]
1559
01:23:46,856 --> 01:23:49,900
♪ Hmm ♪
1560
01:23:49,984 --> 01:23:51,986
[sobbing]
1561
01:23:56,866 --> 01:24:00,953
♪ Well, does my armor sparkle ♪
1562
01:24:01,036 --> 01:24:06,292
♪ 'Cause it's rusting at the seams? ♪
1563
01:24:06,375 --> 01:24:07,877
Oh, that's awful.
1564
01:24:07,960 --> 01:24:11,213
[reporter] Captain Justice has died.
1565
01:24:11,297 --> 01:24:13,841
If you'll join me in a moment of silence.
1566
01:24:15,634 --> 01:24:17,344
♪ The world is always spinning... ♪
1567
01:24:17,428 --> 01:24:19,096
[reporter] A word from our sponsors.
1568
01:24:19,180 --> 01:24:21,766
[announcer] This summer, your kids
are only after one kind of juice.
1569
01:24:21,849 --> 01:24:25,227
-[alarm blaring]
-[crowd screaming]
1570
01:24:25,311 --> 01:24:29,482
♪ Is gravity a gift or a curse? ♪
1571
01:24:29,565 --> 01:24:35,571
♪ Without it, could this be erased? ♪
1572
01:24:36,739 --> 01:24:41,243
♪ Without it, could this be erased?
1573
01:24:41,327 --> 01:24:45,414
Look like the opposite of, uh,
like you found a dead body.
1574
01:24:46,582 --> 01:24:47,958
Oh, that's incredible.
1575
01:24:49,919 --> 01:24:51,253
[sighs]
1576
01:24:55,174 --> 01:24:57,176
[man 1] I don't care how evil you are.
1577
01:24:57,259 --> 01:24:59,762
What they're doing
in Flint, Michigan, just isn't right.
1578
01:24:59,845 --> 01:25:02,223
[man 2] I don't know.
They're just following orders.
1579
01:25:02,848 --> 01:25:04,892
[man 1] So, what are you
doing this weekend?
1580
01:25:04,975 --> 01:25:08,395
[man 2] Oh, I'm at the plant,
finishing up a cyborg experiment.
1581
01:25:08,479 --> 01:25:10,856
Something called the Helpy Brace.
1582
01:25:10,940 --> 01:25:11,899
Helpy Brace?
1583
01:25:12,525 --> 01:25:13,901
That's a terrible name.
1584
01:25:14,485 --> 01:25:15,528
[whispering] Thank you.
1585
01:25:15,611 --> 01:25:18,197
[man 2] Yeah, the nerd
who made it is the test subject.
1586
01:25:18,280 --> 01:25:20,324
Boss wants to make a supervillain
1587
01:25:20,407 --> 01:25:23,369
that he can control
with a remote control or something.
1588
01:25:23,452 --> 01:25:26,247
-Alex.
-Honestly, it sounds like somebody just
1589
01:25:26,330 --> 01:25:29,500
wants to test out their new brain drill,
if you ask me.
1590
01:25:30,167 --> 01:25:31,126
[water splashes]
1591
01:25:34,296 --> 01:25:35,923
[man 2] Someone in there?
1592
01:25:37,091 --> 01:25:40,386
[in husky voice] Yeah, sorry.
I'm just on the Justice Juice cleanse.
1593
01:25:40,469 --> 01:25:43,180
[boot clunking, water splashing]
1594
01:25:56,026 --> 01:25:57,069
Hail Sigma.
1595
01:25:57,152 --> 01:25:58,237
[both] Hail Sigma.
1596
01:25:58,320 --> 01:26:00,197
-[pee trickles]
-Oh. Damn it.
1597
01:26:01,490 --> 01:26:03,325
Gotta get a paper towel.
1598
01:26:04,869 --> 01:26:07,496
-[man 2] Gonna wash your hands?
-[man 1] No, I'm bad.
1599
01:26:07,580 --> 01:26:09,290
[whispering] Crap.
1600
01:26:10,332 --> 01:26:11,333
Crap.
1601
01:26:13,794 --> 01:26:16,130
[photographer] Ah, Lady Justice.
Uh, just in time.
1602
01:26:16,213 --> 01:26:18,340
Okay, we're gonna go ahead
and do profiles now.
1603
01:26:18,424 --> 01:26:21,635
So if you wanted to take this
and just step over...
1604
01:26:22,344 --> 01:26:24,513
We're-- We're gonna go ahead and, uh--
1605
01:26:24,597 --> 01:26:27,224
We're gonna go ahead
and take a ten-minute break, everyone.
1606
01:26:27,308 --> 01:26:29,310
Ten-minute break? Sound-- Sound good?
1607
01:26:30,185 --> 01:26:32,521
Yeah, let's-- Yeah, let's-- Let's do that.
1608
01:26:34,064 --> 01:26:37,610
Now, this next test is
kind of a treat, if you're a dog.
1609
01:26:37,693 --> 01:26:38,861
[laughs wheezily]
1610
01:26:39,612 --> 01:26:43,073
So we want you to rate the taste
of poison on a scale of 1 to 10,
1611
01:26:43,157 --> 01:26:45,492
as well as how much
it tastes like a dog biscuit.
1612
01:26:46,076 --> 01:26:48,996
And it's worth repeating, don't ingest.
1613
01:26:49,079 --> 01:26:50,456
It is still poison.
1614
01:26:59,131 --> 01:27:00,758
[Harold gags]
1615
01:27:04,762 --> 01:27:07,932
-On the plus side, your coat is shinier.
-Oh, yeah?
1616
01:27:08,015 --> 01:27:09,516
-Yeah.
-I agree.
1617
01:27:11,018 --> 01:27:11,936
You.
1618
01:27:13,979 --> 01:27:16,482
[Harold vomiting]
1619
01:27:17,358 --> 01:27:20,819
What are you doing here?
Trying to get your betrayal quota up?
1620
01:27:20,903 --> 01:27:21,946
I came to talk.
1621
01:27:22,029 --> 01:27:23,739
Yeah, well, you're wasting your time.
1622
01:27:23,822 --> 01:27:25,866
I need your help. Alex is in trouble.
1623
01:27:26,533 --> 01:27:27,368
Who?
1624
01:27:28,619 --> 01:27:29,536
The intern.
1625
01:27:33,290 --> 01:27:36,335
-Who came up with the Helpy Brace.
-His name is Alex?
1626
01:27:36,418 --> 01:27:38,128
-Yes.
-[Harold] I thought he was dead.
1627
01:27:38,212 --> 01:27:41,590
Sigma is going to turn him
into a cyborg unless we stop him.
1628
01:27:42,132 --> 01:27:44,677
Sorry, B. No can do.
1629
01:27:44,760 --> 01:27:48,013
Oh, come on. What do you mean?
There's plenty of do that can.
1630
01:27:48,097 --> 01:27:49,932
Not with-- [seethes]
1631
01:27:50,724 --> 01:27:51,767
Not with us.
1632
01:27:52,977 --> 01:27:53,978
Not with you.
1633
01:27:54,061 --> 01:27:56,480
I know I messed up, okay? And I'm sorry.
1634
01:27:56,563 --> 01:27:58,148
[Cain] Sorry doesn't cut it.
1635
01:27:58,232 --> 01:28:01,402
You lied and you cheated,
all for your own personal gain.
1636
01:28:01,485 --> 01:28:03,862
Which is pretty cool for a villain...
1637
01:28:03,946 --> 01:28:05,739
But not a friend.
1638
01:28:06,865 --> 01:28:10,953
So if you'll excuse us,
we have some poison to test.
1639
01:28:12,871 --> 01:28:14,081
You're right.
1640
01:28:14,164 --> 01:28:17,626
I know. Okay? You're right.
And I understand.
1641
01:28:18,377 --> 01:28:22,131
I tried to be something I wasn't,
and I lost what matters most.
1642
01:28:22,214 --> 01:28:24,633
[sentimental music playing]
1643
01:28:26,927 --> 01:28:27,761
What?
1644
01:28:29,847 --> 01:28:31,640
You. My friends.
1645
01:28:31,724 --> 01:28:34,435
-Oh, yeah.
-Yeah, she was talking about us.
1646
01:28:34,518 --> 01:28:35,978
In case I don't make it...
1647
01:28:43,235 --> 01:28:44,361
Wait.
1648
01:28:46,697 --> 01:28:47,698
Is that my hat?
1649
01:28:48,615 --> 01:28:50,868
-No, it's my hat.
-All right.
1650
01:28:54,538 --> 01:28:55,622
Wait.
1651
01:28:56,665 --> 01:28:58,083
[sighs]
1652
01:28:58,167 --> 01:28:59,251
We'll help.
1653
01:29:02,296 --> 01:29:05,299
But we reserve the right to stab you
in the back at any moment.
1654
01:29:05,382 --> 01:29:06,216
Deal.
1655
01:29:06,800 --> 01:29:08,886
So, what's the plan?
1656
01:29:10,679 --> 01:29:11,889
I have an idea.
1657
01:29:11,972 --> 01:29:13,974
[high-energy music playing]
1658
01:29:23,233 --> 01:29:24,735
It's almost ready, sir.
1659
01:29:25,360 --> 01:29:26,278
[squawks]
1660
01:29:26,361 --> 01:29:28,072
I hope you like death.
1661
01:29:28,155 --> 01:29:29,865
-[Sigma] I love it.
-[squawks]
1662
01:29:30,783 --> 01:29:31,992
[Sigma] So, Alex,
1663
01:29:32,076 --> 01:29:36,121
the bad news is we're gonna have to saw
your head open to put the bracelet in.
1664
01:29:36,205 --> 01:29:40,042
But the good news is
I found... some ibuprofen.
1665
01:29:40,125 --> 01:29:42,920
-It'll help with the pain.
-Can I have, like, three?
1666
01:29:43,003 --> 01:29:44,338
Well, it recommends only two,
1667
01:29:44,421 --> 01:29:46,590
so I think we should stick
with that for safety.
1668
01:29:46,673 --> 01:29:48,050
But I got really thick blood.
1669
01:29:48,133 --> 01:29:51,303
I'll be the judge of that.
But I'll tell you what.
1670
01:29:51,386 --> 01:29:53,889
I'm gonna let you hang on
to them until you're ready.
1671
01:29:54,932 --> 01:29:56,266
Sir, you have a phone call.
1672
01:29:56,350 --> 01:29:58,185
-I'm busy.
-It's Joseph Stalin's clone.
1673
01:29:58,268 --> 01:30:00,229
He's degenerating very rapidly.
1674
01:30:00,312 --> 01:30:01,522
[sighs]
1675
01:30:02,356 --> 01:30:04,858
I'll be back in five. Prepare the patient.
1676
01:30:04,942 --> 01:30:06,944
[grunting]
1677
01:30:07,528 --> 01:30:09,446
Can I go to the bathroom
before we do this?
1678
01:30:09,530 --> 01:30:10,948
I drank too much Justice Juice.
1679
01:30:11,031 --> 01:30:13,242
You can pee once I get you out of here.
1680
01:30:13,325 --> 01:30:14,868
-You!
-Shh!
1681
01:30:14,952 --> 01:30:16,912
Hello, Stalin's clone.
1682
01:30:16,995 --> 01:30:19,123
[in Russian accent] Ah! This is Stalin.
1683
01:30:19,206 --> 01:30:21,375
Just real quick,
which one of you am I talking to?
1684
01:30:21,458 --> 01:30:22,876
It's, uh...
1685
01:30:24,336 --> 01:30:26,130
I am Number 5.
1686
01:30:26,213 --> 01:30:28,298
I thought I told you guys
not to go past three.
1687
01:30:28,382 --> 01:30:31,969
Ugh. This is a disgrace.
1688
01:30:32,052 --> 01:30:33,470
Motherland angry.
1689
01:30:33,554 --> 01:30:34,513
KGB.
1690
01:30:34,596 --> 01:30:36,723
Well, you're definitely Stalin.
1691
01:30:36,807 --> 01:30:38,225
-No!
-Shut up.
1692
01:30:38,308 --> 01:30:39,601
I don't want to.
1693
01:30:39,685 --> 01:30:42,688
There are obviously still a lot
of raw emotions happening.
1694
01:30:42,771 --> 01:30:44,523
You lied to me and used me.
1695
01:30:44,606 --> 01:30:48,068
Technically, Cain lied to you,
and I lied to Cain and Harold.
1696
01:30:49,486 --> 01:30:50,904
Hey! Oh!
1697
01:30:52,114 --> 01:30:54,908
Listen, I'm sorry. You're right.
But it would be a lot better
1698
01:30:54,992 --> 01:30:58,078
if we could talk about this after
I get you out of the death machine.
1699
01:30:59,830 --> 01:31:02,124
-Fine.
-Where is the Helpy Brace?
1700
01:31:02,207 --> 01:31:04,543
Sigma has it.
He put it in his jacket pocket.
1701
01:31:04,626 --> 01:31:06,962
Did you know there's
dynamite on this chair?
1702
01:31:07,296 --> 01:31:09,006
-No.
-Yeah, it's a lot of dynamite.
1703
01:31:10,132 --> 01:31:11,049
-It's like ten.
-Oh!
1704
01:31:11,133 --> 01:31:12,426
Lady Justice?
1705
01:31:12,509 --> 01:31:14,970
Why aren't you doing
your Lady Justice podcast?
1706
01:31:15,053 --> 01:31:18,724
And why are you trying
to untie my test subject?
1707
01:31:18,807 --> 01:31:20,684
This test subject is my friend.
1708
01:31:20,767 --> 01:31:23,437
-You have no right.
-Actually, under your contract,
1709
01:31:23,520 --> 01:31:25,522
I'm allowed to try
any experimental procedure
1710
01:31:25,606 --> 01:31:27,816
on any of your friends.
1711
01:31:29,234 --> 01:31:30,611
These stupid contracts!
1712
01:31:31,195 --> 01:31:33,697
That's where you're wrong, buddy.
I'm not gonna let you.
1713
01:31:33,780 --> 01:31:35,616
Lady J, come on. I mean, this is silly.
1714
01:31:35,699 --> 01:31:37,492
Hey, think of the sales.
1715
01:31:37,576 --> 01:31:39,244
-No!
-[Sigma] Fine.
1716
01:31:39,328 --> 01:31:41,079
I've done everything I could.
1717
01:31:42,915 --> 01:31:44,208
You're expendable.
1718
01:31:44,708 --> 01:31:45,542
Sorry, Alex.
1719
01:31:48,503 --> 01:31:49,588
[rock music playing]
1720
01:31:49,671 --> 01:31:53,300
Give me back my dead ex-husband's intern!
1721
01:31:55,052 --> 01:31:59,097
Boys, let's nail these suckers!
1722
01:31:59,181 --> 01:32:01,600
[all shouting]
1723
01:32:26,333 --> 01:32:29,711
-What's happening?
-Megadeath's ex got an anonymous tip.
1724
01:32:31,421 --> 01:32:33,924
I guess the early bird does get the worm.
1725
01:32:34,800 --> 01:32:36,802
[laughing]
1726
01:32:38,637 --> 01:32:40,764
[laughing maniacally]
1727
01:32:40,847 --> 01:32:41,723
[screams]
1728
01:32:42,516 --> 01:32:44,935
[Seagull choking, screaming]
1729
01:33:04,705 --> 01:33:07,165
-[rock ballad playing]
-♪ We found love ♪
1730
01:33:08,542 --> 01:33:10,836
♪ Young love... ♪
1731
01:33:13,463 --> 01:33:14,339
Nice gun.
1732
01:33:14,923 --> 01:33:16,216
Who are you?
1733
01:33:16,300 --> 01:33:17,384
I'm Harold.
1734
01:33:19,261 --> 01:33:20,679
Do you come here often?
1735
01:33:22,848 --> 01:33:24,266
[Beatrix whimpers]
1736
01:33:24,349 --> 01:33:26,643
[automated voice]
Self-destruct sequence activated.
1737
01:33:26,727 --> 01:33:27,769
No! Uh...
1738
01:33:27,853 --> 01:33:30,105
-Thank you for choosing Sigma.
-Double no.
1739
01:33:30,188 --> 01:33:31,523
Have you tried kicking it?
1740
01:33:32,065 --> 01:33:33,942
-[Beatrix yells]
-[Cain] Stop touching it!
1741
01:33:34,026 --> 01:33:37,321
-[door opens]
-Oh, no. We got company.
1742
01:33:37,404 --> 01:33:40,157
[suspenseful music playing]
1743
01:33:40,866 --> 01:33:41,825
I got this.
1744
01:33:42,868 --> 01:33:43,952
Okay, hold on.
1745
01:33:45,120 --> 01:33:48,457
What if, instead of fighting,
we join forces?
1746
01:33:50,625 --> 01:33:51,793
[pencil pierces flesh]
1747
01:33:51,877 --> 01:33:53,503
[yells]
1748
01:33:53,587 --> 01:33:55,589
You could have just said no!
1749
01:34:03,680 --> 01:34:04,723
Harold!
1750
01:34:05,766 --> 01:34:07,059
Whoa. Close one.
1751
01:34:07,142 --> 01:34:08,643
Although...
1752
01:34:08,727 --> 01:34:11,605
I've never been afraid
of getting too close.
1753
01:34:11,688 --> 01:34:14,107
Meet me at Denny's tonight.
1754
01:34:14,191 --> 01:34:15,567
[Beatrix] Harold!
1755
01:34:16,276 --> 01:34:17,319
Harold!
1756
01:34:18,403 --> 01:34:19,446
Eight o'clock.
1757
01:34:20,489 --> 01:34:22,491
Please, Cousin Bomb, defuse.
1758
01:34:22,574 --> 01:34:23,575
[Beatrix] Harold!
1759
01:34:27,621 --> 01:34:28,580
[growls]
1760
01:34:35,796 --> 01:34:37,005
[Harold] What?
1761
01:34:42,052 --> 01:34:44,012
[intense music playing]
1762
01:34:45,597 --> 01:34:47,474
-Oh!
-I knew it!
1763
01:34:53,563 --> 01:34:54,815
[screams]
1764
01:35:19,631 --> 01:35:20,674
[music fades]
1765
01:35:50,912 --> 01:35:52,956
-[groaning]
-[Cain] Harold! Hold on, buddy.
1766
01:35:53,415 --> 01:35:54,249
We got you.
1767
01:35:54,374 --> 01:35:56,293
-[Beatrix] Are you okay?
-No.
1768
01:35:57,127 --> 01:35:58,420
Makes sense.
1769
01:35:59,546 --> 01:36:01,548
[Harold whimpering]
1770
01:36:04,801 --> 01:36:06,511
[ghoulish music playing]
1771
01:36:06,595 --> 01:36:07,971
You, drop the bottle.
1772
01:36:08,555 --> 01:36:10,223
You, stop crying.
1773
01:36:10,307 --> 01:36:12,684
Absolutely, and may I say, big fan.
1774
01:36:12,767 --> 01:36:13,894
Also stop talking.
1775
01:36:15,395 --> 01:36:17,147
Would you look at this mess?
1776
01:36:17,772 --> 01:36:20,859
And to think I was gonna give you
employee of the month.
1777
01:36:20,942 --> 01:36:22,444
I'm not your employee.
1778
01:36:22,527 --> 01:36:24,237
But I am gonna take care of business.
1779
01:36:24,321 --> 01:36:26,490
How are you planning on doing that?
1780
01:36:26,573 --> 01:36:29,659
You know, just a little element
I like to call...
1781
01:36:29,743 --> 01:36:31,036
surprise!
1782
01:36:37,334 --> 01:36:40,795
-[kicking]
-[Harold & Cain wincing]
1783
01:36:49,429 --> 01:36:51,473
Is that a side effect
from the Justice Juice?
1784
01:36:52,599 --> 01:36:54,059
What's gonna happen to me?
1785
01:36:55,393 --> 01:36:57,687
-A-tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle--
-Stop it!
1786
01:36:57,771 --> 01:36:59,105
[intense music playing]
1787
01:36:59,189 --> 01:37:03,527
Here's a little surprise for you.
No one in the world can stop me.
1788
01:37:04,152 --> 01:37:05,195
Especially not
1789
01:37:05,278 --> 01:37:08,573
a wannabe bad guy like you.
1790
01:37:09,157 --> 01:37:10,951
There is one person.
1791
01:37:11,743 --> 01:37:13,703
Oh, yeah? Who?
1792
01:37:14,329 --> 01:37:15,288
You.
1793
01:37:18,375 --> 01:37:19,251
Force quit.
1794
01:37:26,925 --> 01:37:27,968
Lady Justice.
1795
01:37:29,344 --> 01:37:30,637
[Harold yells]
1796
01:37:32,472 --> 01:37:33,723
[Cain laughs]
1797
01:37:33,807 --> 01:37:36,017
[stirring music playing]
1798
01:37:36,851 --> 01:37:37,978
I did it!
1799
01:37:38,562 --> 01:37:40,397
-Sleight of hand!
-Ah!
1800
01:37:40,480 --> 01:37:42,399
I didn't see it. Can you do it again?
1801
01:37:42,482 --> 01:37:43,942
-He's dead.
-Oh.
1802
01:37:44,025 --> 01:37:45,902
Well, yeah, I saw that part.
1803
01:37:45,986 --> 01:37:47,195
Do it to me.
1804
01:37:47,279 --> 01:37:49,739
-You want me to kill you?
-No, just sleight-of-hand me.
1805
01:37:49,823 --> 01:37:52,534
-[detective] Everybody freeze!
-[suspenseful music playing]
1806
01:37:52,617 --> 01:37:54,160
Put your hands up.
1807
01:37:56,538 --> 01:37:57,581
That's the one. There.
1808
01:37:59,457 --> 01:38:02,085
You're under arrest
for the murder of Captain Justice.
1809
01:38:02,168 --> 01:38:04,045
-[Alex, Beatrix & Cain] What?
-Yeah!
1810
01:38:04,129 --> 01:38:06,798
Belt-cam took these photos
after Cap's death.
1811
01:38:06,881 --> 01:38:08,633
You ate him, you sick freak.
1812
01:38:08,717 --> 01:38:11,219
That is a huge misunderstanding.
1813
01:38:11,303 --> 01:38:14,097
-Let's get him out of here.
-Wait!
1814
01:38:14,931 --> 01:38:19,311
It was them! Please! Are you serious?
Aren't you guys gonna help at all?
1815
01:38:19,394 --> 01:38:21,438
Do you think we should
tell them it was us?
1816
01:38:21,521 --> 01:38:22,814
-Stop resisting.
-I'm not!
1817
01:38:22,897 --> 01:38:24,691
[screaming]
1818
01:38:24,774 --> 01:38:26,651
We'll break him out in a month.
1819
01:38:26,735 --> 01:38:28,945
A month will be really good for him.
1820
01:38:29,029 --> 01:38:30,071
Way to go, kid.
1821
01:38:30,155 --> 01:38:32,824
[screams, then groans]
1822
01:38:32,907 --> 01:38:35,285
[Alex screaming]
1823
01:38:35,368 --> 01:38:36,620
[Alex] Oh, God!
1824
01:38:37,203 --> 01:38:38,413
Help!
1825
01:38:38,496 --> 01:38:40,999
[Alex screaming]
1826
01:38:41,916 --> 01:38:43,084
Friends?
1827
01:38:43,752 --> 01:38:44,794
Friends.
1828
01:38:45,295 --> 01:38:46,463
[winces]
1829
01:38:46,546 --> 01:38:47,672
Friends.
1830
01:38:47,756 --> 01:38:49,257
[gentle, whimsical music playing]
1831
01:38:49,341 --> 01:38:51,134
I feel like there's a pen in my spleen.
1832
01:38:51,217 --> 01:38:52,719
Oh. Let's get you to a hospital.
1833
01:38:52,802 --> 01:38:54,596
-Appreciate it.
-[Beatrix] Okay. Okay.
1834
01:38:55,472 --> 01:38:57,265
[Harold] Ow. Ow.
1835
01:38:57,349 --> 01:39:00,727
You know, except for the incredible pain,
I feel pretty good.
1836
01:39:00,810 --> 01:39:03,271
-It went better than I thought it would.
-Yeah.
1837
01:39:18,119 --> 01:39:20,413
[Harold] Did you guys
get anything stuck in you?
1838
01:39:20,497 --> 01:39:22,207
-[Cain] Um...
-[Beatrix] I did. I did.
1839
01:39:22,290 --> 01:39:24,292
I got a pencil stuck
in my hand for a second.
1840
01:39:24,376 --> 01:39:27,170
-[Cain] Oh, that's gotta hurt.
-[Beatrix] And I pulled it out.
1841
01:39:27,253 --> 01:39:28,838
[upbeat rock music playing]
1842
01:39:42,227 --> 01:39:43,436
[music stops]
1843
01:39:52,737 --> 01:39:54,280
[crashing]
1844
01:39:54,364 --> 01:39:56,574
[crowd shouting angrily]
1845
01:40:00,203 --> 01:40:02,414
[upbeat rock music playing]
1846
01:40:25,603 --> 01:40:27,397
[radio stations tuning]
1847
01:40:27,480 --> 01:40:29,899
[funky rock music playing]
1848
01:41:21,701 --> 01:41:25,163
-[man] Thank you for tuning in to 98.3.
-This is Adele.
1849
01:41:25,246 --> 01:41:26,539
-Nick Lachey.
-Avril Lavigne.
1850
01:41:26,623 --> 01:41:28,792
[man] Only the greatest hits from today...
1851
01:41:28,875 --> 01:41:30,084
-[boinging]
-...tomorrow...
1852
01:41:30,168 --> 01:41:32,420
-[air horns blare]
-...and last year.
1853
01:41:32,504 --> 01:41:35,507
[country-folk music playing]
128584
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