All language subtitles for West Wing S02E12 The Drop In.DVDRip.HI.cc.en.WB

Previously on The West
Wing: He's a lunatic.

He's colorful. He's certifiable.

Who? Lord John Marbury.

You really going to let him
loose in the White House

where there's liquor and women?

We can hide the women

but the man deserves a drink.

Allow me to present
myself. Lord John Marbury.

I was summoned
by your President.

Yes. We've met ten or 12 times.

I'm Leo McGarry.

I thought you were the butler.

You're the one, for the last
six months, who's been saying

we need a radical approach.

Yes, yes, I have

and I got shouted
down in every meeting.

I prefer not to paint a picture

in the interest
of great oratory.

The year is one week old,

the legislative
session hasn't begun,

and we can't put a fork
full of waffles in our mouth

without coughing up the ball.

You got beat. Yes.

Figure it out. Tell me
what you're going to do.

( indistinct radio
communications)

Are we patched into
the Pentagon? Yeah.

We can hear them? Yeah.

We can hear what they're
saying at Command?

Yeah.

Why can't I hear anything?

Guys, why aren't
we hearing anything?

MAN 1:15 seconds
to target launch.

Okay, why don't you
just tell me to shut up?

MAN 2: We have a target
launch sequence. Go Flight.

Kwajalein Atoll,
how do you read?

MAN 3: We read
you 5 by 5, Command.

Positive target launch sequence.

Here we go.

MAN 1: Target launch in five...

four, three...

two...

Target is aloft.

MAN 2: We confirm target launch.

How long do I have?
Two minutes, ten seconds.

I'm going to see

if I can get the
President to watch this.

Mr. Sumatra, I understand
you're a sports fan.

Yes, sir, Mr. President. Golf.

Okay, well, golf's not a sport.

It's fine... don't
get me wrong...

But let's not you and I confuse
it with things that men do.

Yes, sir.

We're going to Bangkok

in June, I think. June, Charlie?

Yes, sir. You're
staying at the Oriental.

Best hotel in the world, right?

Your own James Michener
wrote many of his books

at the Oriental

and one of his
typewriters remains

in the suite they named for him.

Is that right? Yes, sir.

Make sure I see that.

Yes, sir.

Tom?

Mr. President, it
is with pleasure

that I present His Excellency,

Tada Sumatra of Thailand

and, by request of
the Secretary of State,

ask that you accept
his credentials

from King Bhumibol Adulyadej,

as Thailand's Ambassador
to the United States.

Mr. Sumatra, I accept
your Letter of Credence

from King Adulyadej

and, by affixing my
signature and seal,

do hereby declare you to be

an Ambassador Extraordinary
and Plenipotentiary.

May our people know
peace and prosperity.

Congratulations.

Thank you, Mr. President.

We've got some gifts here, and
we'll stand for pictures, please.

Ambassador, right here.

Madam, congratulations.

He's got about
another two minutes

and then I've got to pull him.

Okay.

Hey, Charlie, is he done?

He's got about
another two minutes.

I'd like him in the
Situation Room.

Can I pull him?

Shall I tell him
it's an emergency?

It's not an emergency,

just time-sensitive.

Okay.

What are you looking at?

You're testing

that preposterous
contraption again.

It's not preposterous,

it's not a contraption,

and mind your own business.

In my day, we knew
how to protect ourselves.

In your day, you could pretty
much turn back the Indians

with a Daniel Boone
musket, couldn't you?

Ah, sarcasm... The
grumpy man's wit.

Sharpen a pencil, would you?

What's up?

The target's in the
air. They're going

to launch the
intercept any moment.

And I'm sure somebody

will come along soon thereafter
and tell me it didn't work.

Why do you take that attitude?

'Cause it's not going to work.

What do I get if it works?

What do you get? Yes.

Well, I can't make you

Thailand's
Ambassador to the U.S.

'cause I just signed
that guy's letter.

Come with me to
the Situation Room.

You know what you are?

You are the Charlie
Brown of missile defense.

The Pentagon is Lucy.

I'm not familiar with
the reference, sir.

Peanuts... Charlie Brown.

I've heard of them.

I'm just not conversant in them.

Why? I've never read the comics.

Leo, were you born
at the age of 55?

I know that there's a dog.

Charlie Brown wanted
to kick a football

and Lucy would hold it,

except she'd pull it
away at the last minute,

and Charlie Brown
would fall on his butt.

That's funny?

No, but each time,

Lucy would find a way
to convince Charlie Brown

that, this time, she
wouldn't pull the ball away,

but she would and, once again,

Charlie Brown
would fall on his butt.

And that's funny?
It's satirical.

What's it satirizing?

The DOD bringing you
to the Situation Room

every time they run
a new missile test,

so that you can come
tell me how great it works,

so I'll put money
in the NMD system.

You should put money
in the NMD system.

It doesn't work.

It will work... one day, soon.

There are a couple of
three-star generals in there.

Call them Lucy and
you're on your own.

Good morning, Mr. President.

Hey, where are we?

The Kill Vehicle is
on a clear trajectory.

LEO: What's its
time to the target?

50 seconds.

Colonel, could you walk
the President through?

Yes, sir.

Mr. President, approximately
three minutes ago,

a missile was launched with
a simulated nuclear warhead

from the Kwajalein
Atoll in the South Pacific.

And it's going to hit my garage
in New Hampshire exactly when?

Sir, once the missile
cleared cloud cover,

it was detected by

the early warning satellites,
which launched an interceptor,

or Kill Vehicle.

MAN 1: Ten seconds to SRB sep.

OFFICER: "SRB sep" is "Solid
Rocket Booster separation."

That means the high-resolution
radar on the ground

has gotten a "lock-on"
signal from the Kill Vehicle.

MAN 1: Go SRB sep.

MAN 2: Confirm Solid
Rocket Booster Separation.

MAN 1: Kill Vehicle's away.

Coming over at zero-four-four.

MAN 2: Roger... roger,
Control. We got that.

44 seconds.

MAN 3:20 seconds
to target intercept.

MAN 1: Go Flight.

So what happens now?

In 20 seconds, it collides
with the nuclear warhead.

Where? Outer space.

17 miles above the
Earth's atmosphere.

But we don't have anybody
out there right now, do we?

MAN 1: Ten seconds
to intercept. Sir...

When we stay at the
Oriental in Bangkok,

we have to check out
James Michener's typewriter.

MAN 1: Intercept in five...

Here we go.

MAN 1: four, three...

two... one...

Is that silence usually
a pretty good sign?

No.

MAN 1: Negative intercept.

Have we got sensor readings?

No.

MAN 1: Negative intercept.

KM warhead has
overshot its target.

It was just enthusiastic.

By how much? Uh, Leo...

By how much did it
miss the target? Colonel?

One-three-seven.

We missed it by 137 feet.

Miles.

We missed it by 137 miles?

When you consider the size of
outer space, Leo, that's not so bad.

Sir... By the way, the
words you're looking for are,

"Oh, good grief."

Captioning sponsored
by WARNER BROS.

C.J.: For those of you
who haven't seen it,

it's a very lovely ceremony.

It's relatively informal.

The ambassadors are
led into the Oval Office

probably with a few
friends and family.

They chat for a few
moments with the President,

maybe exchange some gifts,
and they're officially presented

by the State Department's
Chief of Protocol,

who asks the President to accept
the ambassador's credentials

and the President signs
a letter to that effect. Yes.

C.J., you're accepting four
new ambassadors this week.

Is there an order, a protocol,
in which they're seen?

There is. It's the order

in which they arrived
in Washington.

This morning, the President saw
Ambassador Sumatra of Thailand.

Then it will be Peter
Hans of Sweden,

followed by Her Excellency
Renee Ernesto of Argentina,

Noah Jola of Burkina Faso,

and the newly named British
Ambassador to the United States,

will be arriving in
the United States

just as soon as he's
been newly named.

I thought it was going to be...

I've forgotten his
name. Anthony Bratt.

Anthony Bratt cited
family obligations at home

and withdrew over the weekend.

But weren't they going
to replace him with...

Sir Christopher
Nealing-Roach, yes.

No, Sir Christopher has been
diagnosed with a rare form

of encephalitis
contracted during

his recent posting to Kenya.

So who's the new British
Ambassador? I don't know.

As soon as the State
Department tells me, I'll know.

In the meantime, it's
pool photographs only,

until tomorrow
night, when there'll be

a cocktail reception for
the new ambassadors.

That's all.

Anybody want to know
who's been here the longest?

The Dean of the
Diplomatic Corps? Anybody?

Guys, you know, I study
these things just for you.

It's Prince Bandar Bin
Sultan of Saudi Arabia.

I could've also told
them that Burkina Faso

has a population of 11 million

and in even years, they host
Africa's largest crafts market.

Yes. I need a chance
to use that knowledge.

C.J.

Do you know the chief
crops of Burkina Faso? No.

Millet, sorghum, rice,
peanuts and cotton.

You should mention in your
afternoon briefing that we've accepted

a last-minute invitation
for the President to address

the Global Defense Council,
tomorrow night at the Sheraton.

I thought we passed on the GDC.

We passed on it
three months ago,

when we thought the President
was going to be in South America,

but the trip got canceled and
they lost their keynote speaker,

so we're going to use
this to launch CARE

and that's what I want you to
announce at the afternoon briefing.

CARE? Yeah.

Okay. Clean Air
Rehabilitation Effort.

Yeah. You don't know what it is.

The Clean Air
Rehabilitation Effort? Yes.

It's an effort by which... Okay.

We clean the air
and rehabilitate it.

I'm not involved in the
nuances of environmental policy.

Which will come as a
relief to environmentalists.

Sam... I'll brief you later.

I knew the crops
of Burkina Faso.

I'll brief you later.

Have we heard from Toby?

No.

Do we know if he's landed?

No.

How's everybody doing in here?

They're doing fine.

Is global warming a real
environmental condition

or merely a temporary anomaly?

Is it a global threat or the
exaggerated claim of alarmists?

The time for such
debate is over.

As of today, it shall be

the unequivocal position of
the United States government

that global warming constitutes
a clear and present danger

to the health and
future well-being

of this planet and
all its inhabitants.

Did somebody get that? Yes.

I didn't see anyone writing.

You already wrote
it. I added a thing.

We got it. I added, "The
time for such debate is over."

We got it. It sets
up the reveal.

Yes.

Okay, $22 trillion in benefits

versus a half a trillion
in compliance costs...

We're making sure that's
right in a couple places?

They're making sure.

Three sources. Fine.

And we don't know
if Toby's back?

Sam, you'll know
as soon as he's back.

Sam? It is Toby?

Yeah. Can I have the phone?

He's standing right there.

Thanks.

22,000 fewer respiratory-related
hospital admissions.

I don't want to use the stats
unless I have three sources.

How was the trip?

It was fine.

What's going on?

The President's going to speak

at the GDC conference
tomorrow night.

I'm sorry? He's going to...

What are you talking about?

He's going to launch CARE.

Since when? Their
keynote speaker fell through.

When was this decision made?

Last night.

Why wasn't I involved?

You were in Kansas
City. I have a telephone.

Toby... I have a
damn telephone, Sam.

Frankly, I didn't think...

I thought there'd
be a consensus.

Who was at this meeting?

Where?

Where the decision was made.

It was me, Carl Taub
of the EPA, Jane Ziskin...

Toby, we've been looking
for an opportunity to launch...

Leo wasn't there? No.

We've been looking for a
platform, the opportunity...

I understand. presented
itself. What's the problem?

There are a number of problems,

any one of which I
could have told you about

had you gotten me on the phone.

What's the problem?
For one thing,

we already blew off the AFL-CIO,

telling them the President was
going to be in South America.

The President was going to be

in South America. Now he's not.

Instead, he's speaking to labor's
good friend, the environmental lobby.

Also, he's the President of the United
States. He's nobody's understudy.

You got him going out
there like Joey Bishop.

I got to say, I hear all that,

but the President
was very enthusiastic.

Of course he was enthusiastic.

I'm saying I wasn't in
there twisting his arm.

I told him this opportunity
had opened up;

we had enough notes so that I
could finish the speech in time;

he asked us a few questions,
we answered them; he said yes.

All right. I just...

All right.

It's going to be a good speech.

Yeah.

They need you.

Thanks.

How was the trip?

Fine.

I need to see Leo.

Yeah.

C.J.: It's not going to be

Sir Christopher
Nealing-Roach. I heard.

I said it's not going to be Sir Christopher
Nealing-Roach. And I said I heard.

But I like to say "Sir
Christopher Nealing-Roach."

Who's it going to be? I'm waiting to hear
from someone at the State Department.

Me, too. Maybe it'll be Sir
Christopher Nealing-Roach.

Can I stop talking to you now?

What are you doing?

I'm standing with my back
straight against the wall.

Why?

I was told by doctors

it would relax me.

Josh?

Got to go.

Yeah.

Are you okay?

Yeah. What?

Is it true that Leo can't stand a
guy named Lord John Marbury?

Why? A reporter asked me.

What's a reporter doing talking
to you? It's a friend of a friend.

Leo McGarry has nothing
but respect and affection

for John Marbury.
That's what I said.

Leo thinks he's a lunatic.

He's very handsome.

That may be so, but
Leo thinks he's a lunatic.

Are you threatened
by his brilliance? No.

You seem threatened
by his brilliance.

How do you know he's
brilliant? I saw his picture.

I'm not threatened
by his brilliance

nor am I threatened
by his good looks.

What about his charm?
I'm not threatened at all.

I'm sorry. I meant Leo.

Neither Leo or I

are threatened by his
brains, his looks or his charm.

He is, however, a lunatic Brit

and we're grateful there's
an ocean between us.

There isn't anymore.

There isn't what?

An ocean between you.

Please don't tell me...

He's the new British
Ambassador to the United States.

( sighs): Yeah.

Josh?

Yeah.

He's dreamy.

I'm just going to
stand next to the wall

a little while longer.

Okay.

( door bangs)

( groans)

Josh?

Okay, what I need
people to do is knock.

I did knock.

But you didn't
wait for a response.

Why would I?

Because I could
have been relaxing

by standing behind that door.

All right.

How was the trip?

It was fine. So we're pinch-hitting
at the GDC conference.

For the record, I didn't think it
was a good idea and I said so.

And that seems to have helped.

Look, we can't appear to be at
the beck and call of the environment.

We could try insulting them.

Yes.

I'm kidding.

I'm not.

We were invited.

Don't care.

What do you have?

Environmental terrorists
burned down a ski resort

and the GDC didn't comment?

Why did environmental
terrorists burn down a ski resort?

To save the lynx.

The links? Yep.

Environmental terrorists
burned down a ski resort

to save a golf course?

It's an animal.

Sam's going to have
strong objections.

Yes, I know.

You want me to talk to Leo?

I'm going to talk to him.

I want you to talk to C.J.

About what?

The Will Rogers
dinner is going to ask

Cornelius Sykes to host.

You're kidding me.

Nope. He didn't
laugh at the joke.

Yeah. Talk to C.J.

Why do you relax by
standing behind a door?

I'm not standing
behind the door.

I'm standing with my back
straight against the wall, so I...

I don't care.

Yeah.

LEO: Keith, I...

( knocking at door)

Keith, I can't tell him that.

I can't tell the President

that nine out of ten
things went right.

He's going to say, "Yeah,
but we didn't hit anything."

Would you, please?

Thank you.

( hangs up phone)

We had an NMD test this morning.

We were successful
on nine out of ten criteria.

We missed?

Yeah.

By how much?

We were trying to shoot down

an incoming Intercontinental
Ballistic Missile.

Once you miss, it really
doesn't matter by how much.

I suppose.

137 miles.

Sam just told me
about the speech.

Which speech?

The GDC.

Yeah. Leo...

How did...? I wasn't
in the meeting.

It happened fast.

I'm saying...

It happened fast.

Sam pitched it and the President

wanted to do it.

How could you not
be in that meeting?

'Cause I'm trying to get
the President to warm up

to a missile shield that's
supposed to save humanity

and there is a
limit to the number

of rooms I can be in at once.

You want to file a complaint?

No.

Good.

Here's what I think.

Screw the environmental lobby?

Did I say that?

Did I say, "Screw the
environmental lobby"?

You didn't say anything.

That right, and before
I even open my mouth

you decide I'm going
to say, "Screw the..."

I apologize.

There's an extent to which

we've got to screw the
environmental lobby.

Yeah. A clear and public
demonstration that the President's

not beholden to them
isn't a bad idea right now.

You think he should walk into their
ballroom and smack them around?

I really do, for 30 seconds
out of a 40-minute address

announcing an
initiative they love.

How do you think they're going
to feel about the 30 seconds?

Not that good,
but that's the point.

We don't have to
move to our right,

if there's an opportunity to
spank the people to our left.

Anything in particular we
want to spank them for?

Failing to publicly admonish
acts of eco-terrorism.

The GDC doesn't engage
in acts of eco-terrorism.

Yes, but they fail

to publicly admonish
those who do.

For example?

A $12-million

Colorado ski development

that was under
construction was set on fire

because it threatened the
habitat of a rare local lynx.

Is a lynx a...?

I don't know.

I think it's like

a possum or something.

All right, tell Sam to
find a place to out it.

I don't want it in
the advance text

and I don't want Sam
and his 14 objections.

It should just be a drop-in.

I'll talk to the President.

Anything else?

137 miles?

Yeah.

Is that a lot?

Yeah.

Okay.

We have 30 minutes
at the ballroom

after the speech to spin

and obviously, the
next morning as well.

Among the things you'll want
to be emphasizing are what?

America is the biggest
emitter of carbon dioxide.

We have four percent
of the population.

We're responsible for 25%
of the greenhouse emissions.

How are we going
to reduce those levels

of greenhouse
emissions, you ask?

Through the Clean
Air Rehabilitation Effort.

Yes, which you can
read about in bullet points,

beginning on page 11.
Please don't skip the footnotes

and please don't just
read what's underlined.

C.J.: Question. Yes.

Did girls go out with
you in high school?

Yes. Really?

Under these regulations

there will be a cap on the
volume of carbon dioxide

a company could emit in a
year, but what's the good news?

If a company comes in lower than
the cap, they can sell the balance

of their emissions allowance
to another company.

Creating what?
BOTH: A cash incentive.

A cash incentive.

Can you tell us anything
else about that, C.J.?

No, but I can tell you
that lumber, cocoa beans,

aluminum and petroleum
products are the major exports

of Cameroon.

Then you're all set. Yeah.

Can I have her for a second?

Yeah. Why do you
ask him and not me?

He looked in charge.

Of where I go? Can we please?

Did you hear they
named John Marbury

British Ambassador?

Yes, I did.

Lord John Marbury?

I know. It's got to be

like Davy Jones is showing up.

Don't make fun of
Davy Jones, all right?

He once wrote me a letter.

He took that kind of
time, and he still tours.

Plus, my love for
John Marbury is real.

It's not a schoolgirl crush.

He calls me Principessa.

Does he? Yes.

He calls Leo Gerald.

He's eccentric. Yeah.

What do you need?

Janice Barry is saying
they're going to ask

Cornelius Sykes to host
the Will Rogers dinner.

They know for sure?

They're going to
ask him on Monday.

They're trying to stir
this up again? Yeah.

He didn't laugh at the joke.
How many more ways are there

for me to say that? He
didn't laugh at the joke.

You guys are friends;
I was thinking...

We're not friends.
You know each other.

I don't hang out
with Corey Sykes.

Yeah, but you know him.

Where is he?

He's in New York doing stand-up.

Since you'll be there...
I'll see him tomorrow night.

Thank you.

He didn't laugh at the joke.

You'll see him
tomorrow night? Yes!

Josh... Would you see
that a meeting is arranged

for tomorrow night in New York

with C.J. and Cornelius
Sykes and no one else? Yeah.

Thank you.

And I was thinking...

Yeah? When Marbury gets here?

Yeah? You can encourage him

to introduce me to any royal
and single men he might know.

That's a good idea.
I'm going to do that.

You're not really,
though, are you?

No.

You know what I think?

A lot of people don't realize

that Swedes have lived in Sweden
more than 5,000 years longer

than nearly any other
European people.

That's right, sir.

In fact, Gothic
tribes from Sweden

played a major role
in the disintegration

of the Roman
Empire, did they not?

They did.

So you've got
that to answer for.

Yes, sir.

Uh, Mr. President,
it is with pleasure

that I present His Excellency,

Peter Hans of Sweden,

and by request of
the Secretary of State,

ask that you accept his
credentials from King Carl Gustaf,

as Sweden's Ambassador
to the United States.

Mr. Hans, I accept
your Letter of Credence

from King Gustaf

and by affixing my
signature and seal

do hereby declare you
to be an Ambassador

Extraordinary and
Plenipotentiary.

Thank you, Mr. President.

Congratulations.

( both men chuckling)

Mr. Ambassador.

Family, please.

Congratulations, Ambassador.

Leo.

Is he still holding
you responsible

for the fall of the
Roman Empire?

Oh, yes.

Welcome to my world.

I'll see you at the
reception, right?

Yes, sir. Congratulations.

Mr. Ambassador, you and
your family can step this way.

Sweden has a 100%
literacy rate, Leo.

100%. How do they do that?

Well, maybe they don't,
and they also can't count.

Maybe.

Sir, I really think
you should know...

Yes?

That nine out
of the ten criteria

that the DOD lays down for
success in these tests were met.

The tenth being?
We missed the target.

Damn! So close. Sir...

Mr. President...
It's that tenth one.

See, if there were just nine...

Look, the tracking
software on the KM vehicle

clearly acquired a read on
both the target and the decoy

and, for the first time ever,

successfully rendered a clean

identification differential.

Leo, seriously, when they were
telling you that on the phone,

how stupid did you think
you'd sound saying it to me?

This project needs money.

It doesn't work.

Neither did several
phases of Apollo 11

but Neil Armstrong
claims it was a success.

Do we need to
decide this right now?

No. Okay.

So, about the GDC speech?

Yeah.

Since we're giving them
exactly what they want

Toby thinks it's
not such a bad idea

if we signal our
independence as well.

How? A drop-in.

Eco-terrorism that's gone
unadmonished by the GDC.

For example?

A ski development in Colorado

that threatened a rare
lynx was burned in protest.

And we can't take it for granted

that everyone pretty much
fundamentally opposes arson?

A year and a half ago,

you stood in the Mural Room

and took Al Caldwell's head
off because the Christian League

hadn't publicly admonished
religious extremists.

It would be hypocrisy

not to hold our friends to
the same standard. Yes.

And yet, it feels strange
to score political points

by doing the right thing. Yeah.

I'm victim to my own

purity of character.

Whatever. We got you
some information on the lynx

which is a kind
of possum, I think.

Okay, well, it's not
a kind of a possum,

so why don't you get
me that information.

Toby doesn't want
it in the speech?

Just a drop-in.

Did you hear?

About Marbury? Isn't it great?

Yes, sir, and I assume

you're enjoying my suffering?

Absolutely.

Anything else? No.

Thank you, Mr. President.

2,000 environmentalists
are going to try

to kill me tomorrow night.

We should go, sir.
They're going to come at me

with vegan food and pitchforks.

That doesn't really sound
like something people do.

Still, I'd like you
to get between me

and any boiled seaweed
you see coming my way.

Yep.

TOBY: Mr. President...

Leo just talked to me.

About the GDC tonight.

Yeah. I'm not doing
this for the politics.

I'm doing it 'cause
it's the right thing to do.

Well, I'm doing
it for the politics.

A lynx isn't a possum.

I think it's in the
possum family.

It's a cat.

Oh, and we don't
have enough of those.

How does Sam feel about this?

Toby?

This isn't Government Camp.

It's not like...

It's not important that
everybody gets to play.

I'm not going to tell you
how to run your office, Toby.

Thank you, sir.

Vegan food coming
at me all night long.

C.J.?

Yeah?

Where you going?

New York, New York, Toby.

The town so nice
they named it twice.

What are you doing there?

I'm receiving the Matrix Award

from New York Women
in Communications.

For what?

I discovered a comet.

What do you mean "for what"?

Past winners, by the way

include Cokie Roberts, Diane
Sawyer and Ms. Leslie Stahl.

Did Josh talk to you about...?

I'm meeting him for
a drink after the thing.

And you're briefed on the
Clean Air Rehabilitation...?

Yeah.

Okay. You might need this.

"The President has
always spoken out

"against moderate groups

"not taking responsibility
for extremism

"and he isn't going to stop
with the environmental lobby.

Friends are honest
with each other."

He's going to do a drop-in?

I'll see you tomorrow night.

Hey, Toby, you want
to see the speech?

Sam's writing a good one.

Yeah...

SAM: Climate changes
have accelerated.

Glaciers are shrinking.

Polar sea ice is what?

TOBY: It's thinning.

The polar sea ice is thinning,

causing a rise in sea
levels around the globe.

And what do we
say when they say,

"But the proposals
in the Clean Air

"Rehabilitation Effort
would seriously choke

the auto, trucking
and utility businesses"?

$22 trillion in
benefits produced

versus a half a trillion
in compliance cost.

Public health benefits?

We'll make that clear.

Where's C.J.?

She's in New York.

What's she doing in New York?

She had a lunch.

Media Women, Women of Media.

That was this afternoon.

She had to stay around.

So it's just me?

Yeah. Call me from
the place. Yeah.

Final draft?

Well, it's the 12th draft.

Whether it's the final
draft is really up to you.

Was that sass?

Yeah.

Okay.

The difference between a
good speech and a great speech

is the energy with
which the audience

comes to their feet at the end.

Is it polite? Is it a chore?

Are they standing up because
their boss just stood up? No.

We want it to come
from their socks.

We got a half an hour.

Let's read this again.

Every time one
of these tests fails,

Congressional Democrats

jump on it as a reason
to kill the program.

You're not going to
turn the President around

on the missile shield.

Well, I'm not going to
turn him around today

and probably not tomorrow

but as long as
somebody has the money

to keep trying to make
it work, then I'm fine.

Leo?

Yeah.

There's someone here to see you.

Who?

Gerald!

Oh, God.

Gerald, old friend.

Good to see you, Ambassador.

It's as if the gods themselves

insist that we be not
long apart, you and I.

They do seem to strongly
insist upon that, yes.

Your assistant, Margaret,
is looking positively buxom.

Thank you, I'll tell her.

MARGARET: Thank you.

Yes, well done.

John?

Oh, oh, my aide, Caprice.

How do you do?

Leo McGarry.

Good to see you, Ambassador.

God bless you, Josh.

The prayers of
millions were answered.

Thank you, sir.

I have come. Yes.

I am Lord John Marbury, along
with my aide, Caprice, and I'm

hereby presenting my credentials

in the fervent hope that...

John, we do that later
with the President.

Excellent.

I will tell you, though, that
I personally welcome you

and I look forward to
our new partnership.

As do I.

I know we've had our
differences in the past,

but I think you
know I respect you.

I congratulate you on
this auspicious occasion

and, as a matter
of fact, the timing

of your arrival couldn't
be better. How so?

Leo's trying to convince the
President to give the NMD more time.

You're an expert in the field

and I hope I can
count on your support.

You may hope for it,
but you'll not have it.

Why not? Because the NMD

is an absurdly wasteful
military boondoggle

that will never produce
a working missile.

It violates any number of
elements of the ABM treaty

and any argument
you make in its defense

will surely be moronic.

Ah... detente.

I'm sorry, Gerald.

We're going to have
this out. Excellent.

Let's go get you knighted

or whatever the
hell it is we do.

( fountain trickling)

Hey.

Hey, how you doing?

Not bad.

Thanks for taking the time.

Yeah. I got to get
back pretty soon.

I won't take long.

You want to stay for the show?

I got to get the 7:00 shuttle.

You want something to drink?

Uh, club soda.

Alicia, can I get
some club soda?

Oh, I haven't
seen the movie yet.

You should see it. It's good.

That's what everyone's saying.

Well, I appreciate that.

( both laughing)

So, you know, this is
about the Will Rogers dinner.

Yeah.

They're going to ask you to host

and, obviously, the
President's going to be there.

We, uh...

appreciate the support...

You want me to say no.

We think the press
will go back two years

and bring up the
whole... Let them.

I don't want to.

You know, you know
how I feel about you.

You know I don't
mean you disrespect...

You don't?

No.

I've raised money for you.

I've registered voters for you.

I've done commercials for you

and I've voted for you.

Because of something I
never did wrong two years ago,

you don't want to be on
the same dais with me.

That's not...

It takes a special
kind of arrogance

not to think that
that's disrespectful.

Ah, thanks, Alicia.

Make your case.

I got to be funny in a while.

It missed by 137 miles.

Yes.

It could've missed
by 37 fewer miles

and it would've still
missed by a hundred miles.

It doesn't work.

That depends what
your definition is.

My definition is precisely
the same as everyone else's.

John!

Mr. President.

It's good to have you here.

Your servant, as always.

What made you
agree to take the post?

I suppose it's
possible I was drunk.

Reasonable bet.

Listen, I got to go a
few blocks across town

and give an address
on global warming

and the future of our planet.

That's not something
you're interested in, right?

Oh, good God, no.

Okay. Stay here and fight
with Leo about something.

We'll get you some dinner.
I'll be back in an hour.

We'll do your thing and
then enjoy the reception.

Excellent. Indeed.

Charlie? Here we go.

An hour, did he say?

Yes.

I'll need some amusement.

Good evening, Your Lordship.

Excellent.

Wait a second. Let me finish.

It was not a benign joke.

You don't tell benign jokes.

That's a matter...

It was a joke about
New York City cops

shooting black men.

I'm a black man.

I'm in a room full of rich
Democrats in an election year.

You thought I was going
to talk about airline food?

It was a political
fund-raiser in the heat

of a national campaign.

You weren't doing a 2:00
a.m. set at Catch a Rising Star.

You know how
many years it's been

since I worked
Catch a Rising Star?

You made the joke, and inoffensive
as you think it may have been,

there was enormous
pressure on the candidate

to disavow your
remarks, and he did not.

And I'm supposed...

Corey... I'm supposed
to feel good about that?

That he didn't disavow me?

That I wasn't disavowed?

We were courting law
enforcement, Corey.

Don't be naive.

You were also courting
the black vote, C.J.

I'm not naive.

What'd you expect us to do?

I expected that
when I was called,

in any of number of
places, a "Hollywood sleaze"

that you might have said a
few words, maybe, on my behalf.

I expected that you
we're going to say

"We in the Bartlet campaign

"don't believe Cornelius
Sykes is a Hollywood sleaze.

"We believe he's a
world-class humorist

"and millions of
Americans agree.

"We believe his humor can
be disconcerting to some,

"but those who are
making noise right now,

"are feigning their concern

in an effort to
frighten white men."

But what you said was

he didn't laugh at the joke.

Corey...

He did laugh at the joke.

Yeah.

He laughed at the joke, C.J.

I've been doing this 20 years.

You don't think I
know if I had him?

I killed that night.

That was a very big deal for me.

To play in front
of that audience

to get that man to laugh?

And, the next day,

my parents read in the paper
that I am "Hollywood sleaze."

But that's okay

'cause the candidate
didn't think I was funny.

I understand.

I don't want to cause any
trouble for the President.

You knew that when
you walked in here.

I'll pass on the dinner.

I'll tell them...

it was 'cause I couldn't
get out of a booking.

But the President
laughed at the joke, C.J.

I killed that night.

You did.

Okay, I got to go.

See you next time.

Is the President offstage yet?

Just about.

Anyone know how it's going?

Toby? Yeah.

It's Sam. Yeah.

Yeah.

He admonished them.

Sam...? He went off the
speech right at the end

and slapped them
down for not speaking out

Yeah. Listen...
on eco-terrorism.

Sam, listen... He just
flew right off the speech.

Something about a
Colorado ski resort.

Sam, are you listening?
Here's what you say: Talk to me.

Friends are honest
with each other.

The President has always
spoken out on moderate groups

not taking responsibility
for terrorism

and he isn't going to stop
with the environmental lobby.

God bless you all,
and God bless America.

Got that? Yeah.

What's happening?

Sam, what's happening?

They're not standing.

So, you're actual royalty?

Well, yes.

It's not just an honorary thing?

No. In fact,
there's little honor

attached to it at all.

Tell me about yourself.

Well, my mother was a descendant

of the third of the nine
children of Queen Victoria.

Victoria was the
granddaughter of George III,

who was the great
grandson of George I.

George I was the great
nephew of Charles I,

who was the son of James I,

and, uh, James's mother
was Mary, Queen of Scots.

And are you and Caprice an item?

Uh, no.

Mr. Ambassador?

Is he back?

He's back, but he's
receiving credentials

from Her Excellency
Renee Ernesto of Argentina

and asks for your patience.

Then my patience he shall have.

C.J...

Yeah?

You just get back? Yeah.

You heard what happened?

Yeah, and here's what it is:

The President has always
spoken out on moderate groups

not taking responsibility
for extremism

and he isn't going to stop
at the environmental lobby.

Friends are honest
with each other.

Sam?

Have you spoken to Toby?

When?

Since after the speech tonight?

No.

Okay.

They're setting up
for the reception?

Yeah.

$60 billion can be
spent on other things.

I'm all for retention pay.

I'm all for health benefits.

I'm all for procurement.

I'm talking about Abrams tanks

and Apache helicopters,
which we know work.

An Apache helicopter

will not stop a Shahab-3
long-range Stiletto

or a North Korean ICBM.

Well, so far, neither
can anything else.

Hey, Sam?

I'm going back in there.

Have you been getting questions?

I'm sorry?

Have you been getting questions?

Yeah.

From the press, or...?

The press'll be tomorrow.

So, who's asking...?

The chairman of the
GDC, four congressmen,

the Secretary of the Interior.

Who'd you think would be
talking to me? What did...?

I said, "Sometimes friends have
to be honest with each other."

I said exactly what
you told me to say

which, coincidentally,

is exactly what
C.J. told me to say,

which is remarkable
when you consider

that C.J. was in New York

during the event and didn't
speak to you afterward.

I mean, it's almost
as if there were people

who already knew it
was going to happen.

Sam... Get away from me.

( door opens)

Hey, Sam.

Is it possible I could
get in for just a minute?

He's pretty tight right now.

I don't think I can get you in.

MARBURY: Oh,
well, yes, uh, certainly.

There's, uh, Edward,
Earl of Ulster.

He's the son of Richard,
Duke of Gloucester,

who's the son of Henry,
Duke of Gloucester.

Edward, Earl of Ulster?

Yes.

You think he'd like me?

Do you date younger men?

Sure. How old is he?

Five.

Okay, well, let's stick a
pin in that for a moment

and move on.

Hello. Hello.

Am I interrupting?

Not at all.

Ambassador Marbury
was just telling me

about how royal men are
schooled in the ways of courtship.

King George III, for example,

sailed his bride up
the River Thames

to music that was
specially composed.

Yeah. That was just a few years

before we opened up a big can
of whup-ass on him at Yorktown.

Leo, uh...

How can you look

at North Korea,
which, 24 months ago,

fired a Taepodong missile...

Uh, which failed.

And with some modifications

it'll be able to reach Alaska.

Well, I don't live in Alaska.

I live in England,
which, by the way

is not protected by the shield.

Not that anybody else
is at the moment, either.

You've also forgotten
that we're both signatories

to the '72 ABM Treaty, of which
this shield is in clear violation.

You've forgotten that it will

compel China to strengthen
their nuclear arsenal.

You've forgotten that
the European allies

have strong reservations
about the shield

and you've forgotten
that it doesn't work.

You know what I
haven't forgotten?

What?

That we opened up

a big can of whup-ass
on you at Yorktown.

All right.

CHARLIE: Leo?

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

I'm going to correspond
with Edward, Earl of Ulster

once he learns how
to read and write.

Okay.

Here you go.

TOBY: No, no, Alice, I got it.

It's all right.

No, I got it.

You want a beer?

Yeah, thanks.

( sighs)

You don't ever go into
the Oval Office mad.

Look... No. No, no.

No, Sam, you don't
ever go in there mad.

I think the President's
remarks were... ill-advised,

to say the least.

Well, you're wrong.

The drop-in's the story now,
Toby, not the energy package.

The energy package
doesn't need to be

a story. It's going to be a law.

You'd don't think we need

the environmental lobby?

I think we need them.

I just don't think we're
going to lose them.

And I think you're
tragically misguided.

Sam, I...

Many, if not most
environmentalists

are absolutists who
will use this insult to pull

their support under cover
we cut a deal with Detroit.

Well, then, they
can grow up, Sam.

"Use this insult"?

They just got the energy
package they wanted,

they just got the
President at their dinner,

and they should shut up!

Well, you should

explain it to them
just that way, Toby,

'cause they're really pretty
receptive to that argument.

When they look down the
ballot and see the alternatives,

they get receptive in a hurry.

Was there anything
else, or can I sit here now?

You can sit here.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Yeah.

( sighs)

Sam, I'm looking
at opposition polling

that scares the hell out of me.

I'm looking at internal numbers

that change by the hour.

I'm listening to economists
that tell me there's weather...

You left me out.

( sighing): Yeah.

You think I'm the
reason you got beat

on the Leadership breakfast?

I got creamed, Sam.

You think I'm the reason?

I didn't want the discussion!

Then what are you doing here

talking to me?

Now you want the discussion.

You and the President
may think they deserved it,

but the cynicism of
attacking your friends

for political protection
offends them and it offends me.

It offends you, and there's
really nothing I can do

to make you feel
better about that.

We can't govern if we don't win.

You should talk to me
about the numbers more.

Yeah.

Anyway, I have this beer, so...

Yeah.

I was just going to
sit down and drink it.

Yeah.

I mean, we don't
have to talk or anything.

Yeah.

That was Chairwoman
Shelly Loobis

I just got off the phone with.

Before that was a conference
call with Jamie Schwartz,

from the Environmental
Defense Fund,

Bryce Davis from
the Sierra Club,

and three Democratic Congressmen

from the Subcommittee on
Energy and the Environment.

The number of different words

they had for "manipulative..."

Leo, there's no
way they didn't have

a thesaurus open
in front of them.

Bryce Davis said
if I keep this up,

he's going to
encourage Seth Gillette

in a third-party bid.

What'd you say?

I said for 50 bucks
and a ride to the airport,

Gillette could have
the job right now.

( chuckles) What'd you say?

I politely reminded
them that it's probably

not a good idea to threaten
the President. Nancy!

I want to know, when
you're pushing me

towards the missile shield

it's not 'cause you want me
to look strong on defense.

NANCY: Yes, sir?

Would you tell Charlie
I'm ready? Yes, sir.

Don't. I'm not. I'm pushing you

toward the shield
'cause I think it works.

Based on what?

Confidence...

and the understanding
that there's been a time

in the evolution of
everything that works

when it didn't work.

JOSH: You know, can I say this?

Why don't we just
give the $60 billion

to North Korea in exchange
for not bombing us?

It's almost hard to believe

that you're not on the
National Security Council.

I know. I feel like they're
missing an important voice.

Mr. President.

Good evening.

PRESIDENT: John!

Let me explain why
you've been waiting.

I have to see people in the
order in which they arrive,

and you got beat by Argentina.

Oh, uh, well, yes.

You also lost out
on preferred seating

for the State of the Union.

I'm required to attend
the State of the Union?

Yes!

Well, then, attend it I shall.

Okay. Tom?

Mr. President,

it is with pleasure that I
present His Excellency

Lord John Marbury
of Great Britain,

and by request of
the Secretary of State,

ask that you accept
his credentials

from Her Royal Majesty,
Queen Elizabeth II,

as Great Britain's Ambassador
to the United States.

Where are you on
the missile shield?

Well, I think it's dangerous,
illegal, fiscally irresponsible,

technologically unsound

and a threat to all
people everywhere.

Leo?

I think the world invented
a nuclear weapon.

I think the world
owes it to itself

to see if it can't
invent something

that it would
make it irrelevant.

Well, that's the
right sentiment...

and certainly a credible one

from a man who's
fought in a war.

You think you can make it stop?

Well, you can't.

We build a shield

and somebody will
build a better missile.

Well, it's a discussion
for serious men.

They say a statesman

is a politician who's
been dead for 15 years.

I'd like us to be statesmen
while we're still alive.

Lord Marbury, I accept

your Letter of Credence
from Queen Elizabeth

and by affixing my
signature and seal,

do hereby declare you to be

an Ambassador Extraordinary
and Plenipotentiary.

Well, thank you, sir.

Congratulations.

God bless America.

God save the Queen.

Let's go.

Certainly.

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