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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,990 --> 00:00:07,990 NATSUKI PRODUCTIONS - FIRST PRODUCTION {Sign} 2 00:01:04,160 --> 00:01:05,560 Oh? 3 00:01:06,130 --> 00:01:09,360 Is this... A desert? 4 00:01:11,820 --> 00:01:14,470 But why? Just why? 5 00:01:14,470 --> 00:01:18,330 Was that fourth highball I had three days ago to blame? 6 00:01:18,330 --> 00:01:23,770 Or was it because I switched from wooden sandals to beach sandals ten years ago? 7 00:01:23,770 --> 00:01:26,710 No, no way. That's ridiculous. 8 00:01:57,910 --> 00:01:59,530 Hey, you there. 9 00:02:10,160 --> 00:02:11,060 What? 10 00:02:11,560 --> 00:02:13,720 Are these yours? 11 00:02:25,040 --> 00:02:25,870 Who are you? 12 00:02:25,870 --> 00:02:29,590 I'm Star Girl! I came all the way from the Andromeda Galaxy. 13 00:02:29,590 --> 00:02:31,700 You're a star girl from the Andromeda galaxy? 14 00:02:35,330 --> 00:02:39,640 From across space, I came from Andromeda 15 00:02:42,380 --> 00:02:46,020 I made it here in 203 days 16 00:02:48,970 --> 00:02:52,760 Who am I, who am I? 17 00:02:52,760 --> 00:02:56,240 I'm Star Girl! 18 00:02:56,240 --> 00:03:03,070 I'm ever-so curious, and I do love me my men 19 00:03:03,070 --> 00:03:08,730 Isn't there anything neat out here? 20 00:03:09,590 --> 00:03:13,920 When you feel my antennas beeping 21 00:03:16,660 --> 00:03:20,270 Then there's just no hesitating! 22 00:03:23,280 --> 00:03:30,180 Head straight off to the end of space! 23 00:03:35,930 --> 00:03:38,020 What are you doing in the desert, anyway? 24 00:03:38,350 --> 00:03:40,350 Here on a trip? 25 00:03:40,910 --> 00:03:42,770 Hunting for treasure, maybe? 26 00:03:43,380 --> 00:03:45,630 Oh, did you drop your wallet somewhere? 27 00:03:46,080 --> 00:03:47,920 What, am I wrong? 28 00:03:48,480 --> 00:03:50,750 But then, what are you doing in a place like this? 29 00:03:50,750 --> 00:03:53,100 Hey, if I knew that, I wouldn't be so... 30 00:04:04,980 --> 00:04:07,350 What's this? 31 00:04:07,350 --> 00:04:09,680 What's it doing here? 32 00:04:18,420 --> 00:04:20,580 Welcome to the Dreamlands! 33 00:04:20,580 --> 00:04:22,020 The Dreamlands...? 34 00:04:22,020 --> 00:04:24,180 That's right! Tickets, please! 35 00:04:25,080 --> 00:04:26,310 Here's a hip! {Note} 36 00:04:25,080 --> 00:04:27,620 Note: 'Ticket' (kippu) rhymes with 'hip' (hippu) in Japanese. {TL Note} 37 00:04:27,620 --> 00:04:31,660 No, no, I said tickets! Your tickets, mister! 38 00:04:37,220 --> 00:04:39,390 -Here... -Thank you! I'll just have a look... 39 00:04:43,180 --> 00:04:45,250 Boy, what a riot! 40 00:04:45,250 --> 00:04:47,720 Isn't it? It really is, isn't it?! 41 00:04:47,720 --> 00:04:49,330 Boy, what a laugh! 42 00:04:50,650 --> 00:04:52,100 Oh, goodness! 43 00:04:53,720 --> 00:04:58,680 At some point, it came to me that I'd been born into an exceptionally unexceptional household. 44 00:04:59,850 --> 00:05:01,080 Hey there, Yuki here! 45 00:05:01,080 --> 00:05:04,480 First, let's read a letter from Yuki's-Little-Bro. 46 00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:10,080 "My parents are super ordinary! How ordinary, you ask?" 47 00:05:10,080 --> 00:05:13,580 "My mom's favorite read is The Weekly Heibon. My dad's is Heibon Punch." {Note} 48 00:05:10,080 --> 00:05:13,580 TL Note: 'Heibon' translates to 'ordinary' - "Weekly Heibon" and "Heibon Punch" are both real magazines. {TL Note} 49 00:05:13,580 --> 00:05:16,050 "Their favorite TV star is Taira Bontaro!" {Note} 50 00:05:13,580 --> 00:05:18,550 TL Note: A real comedian - the first two kanji of his name can be read as 'heibon'. {TL Note} 51 00:05:16,050 --> 00:05:18,850 Hey, I don't think the kids these days get that reference. 52 00:05:18,850 --> 00:05:22,420 "And you know what else, Yuki? My dad works at Heibon Trading!" 53 00:05:22,420 --> 00:05:27,450 "Also, guess what! I live in Heibon Town, in the Heibon-Taira district, in the Heibon Apartments!" 54 00:05:27,450 --> 00:05:31,920 "It's so embarrassing, I'm better off dead! What do you think I should do, Yuki?" 55 00:05:31,920 --> 00:05:35,920 So, being ordinary, huh? Well, I can't say I like it that much myself. 56 00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:41,250 But not as much as you, at least. Being ordinary is hard in and of itself, don't you think? 57 00:05:41,250 --> 00:05:45,980 But if you really hate being ordinary so much, why don't you just hold the idea in a cross-grip? 58 00:05:41,250 --> 00:05:49,820 TL Note: A 'cross-grip' is a move in sumo wrestling. {TL Note} 59 00:05:45,980 --> 00:05:49,820 You could take up sumo wrestling. That's what I think, at least. 60 00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:55,420 Happy birthday, son! Let's have a toast. 61 00:05:55,620 --> 00:05:56,550 Cheers! 62 00:05:56,550 --> 00:05:57,550 Cheers! 63 00:05:57,550 --> 00:05:58,930 Good for you, son. 64 00:06:03,720 --> 00:06:06,140 The day I turned seven... 65 00:06:06,140 --> 00:06:10,920 ...was when I noticed how unremarkable it all was. Three days later, I knew what blood lust felt like. 66 00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:15,600 And on the fourth day, my litmus test finally turned blue. 67 00:06:30,850 --> 00:06:34,920 Why, that's right! Nothing beats normal! 68 00:06:35,820 --> 00:06:39,770 So says Mrs. Nakazawa, from her home in Den-en-choufu. 69 00:06:39,770 --> 00:06:43,260 Another day, another refresher! That's our Ordinary Drink! 70 00:06:52,820 --> 00:06:57,660 Whenever the opportunity struck, I'd apply my nelson hold and gaburi-yori skills... 71 00:06:52,820 --> 00:06:57,660 TL Note: 'Gaburi-yori' is a move in sumo wrestling. {TL Note} 72 00:06:57,660 --> 00:07:01,020 ...but they only served to turn my litmus test red. 73 00:07:02,320 --> 00:07:07,720 As I continued to battle against the sheer tedium, a change came about me. 74 00:07:08,250 --> 00:07:14,680 Indeed! My sheer love for the limelight came with an energy so intense it could never be contained! 75 00:07:21,150 --> 00:07:23,230 And so, my mind was made up. 76 00:07:23,760 --> 00:07:27,270 Yes, I decided to become Ultraman! 77 00:07:28,920 --> 00:07:35,150 Not three minutes after I'd made my decision, I ran, straight towards the path of becoming Ultraman! 78 00:07:39,620 --> 00:07:41,650 SHUWATCH! 79 00:07:44,650 --> 00:07:50,450 But Ultraman's path would only lead to a certain Hokkaido winter. 80 00:07:51,180 --> 00:07:55,850 It happened on the 13th Friday of my fourth year of primary school. 81 00:07:56,050 --> 00:07:59,150 What, Ultraman? What are ya, slow? 82 00:07:59,150 --> 00:08:03,820 Ain't nothin' good about Ultraman! He ain't got brains, he's too simple! 83 00:08:03,820 --> 00:08:07,150 He ain't got nothin' but brawn! He thinks he's got all the power he needs... 84 00:08:07,150 --> 00:08:11,050 ...and he always resorts to violence! He's bad news, ain't he? 85 00:08:11,050 --> 00:08:15,580 Whaddaya mean, bad news?! No, he ain't! Ain't he fighting for a peaceful Earth?! 86 00:08:15,580 --> 00:08:20,080 Look, ya ever seen Ultraman solve a problem with his words? 87 00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:23,080 You ain't, right? He talks about justice, but it's just a front! 88 00:08:23,080 --> 00:08:28,280 -He's just there to appeal to the more belligerent members of Japanese society! 89 00:08:26,580 --> 00:08:28,280 -Moron, no he ain't!{overlap} 90 00:08:28,280 --> 00:08:32,050 If ya could just talk everythin' out, why do we have the police? Why do we have the JSDF?! 91 00:08:32,050 --> 00:08:35,350 Ya sound like an LDP member! You're way too short-sighted! {Note} 92 00:08:32,050 --> 00:08:36,320 TL Note: The LDP - the Liberal Democratic Party of Japan. {TL Note} 93 00:08:35,350 --> 00:08:40,380 C'mon, how many cities did Ultraman destroy? 94 00:08:40,380 --> 00:08:45,580 How many people died pinned under the rubble, ya ever think about that?! 95 00:08:45,580 --> 00:08:48,680 That means Ultraman's the real destroyer! 96 00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:52,180 I can't say I had a good grasp of what Rika was saying. 97 00:08:52,180 --> 00:08:58,140 And sure, I did try to be rational and tell myself this was all way above a grade schooler's level... 98 00:08:58,450 --> 00:08:59,530 Ow! 99 00:09:00,050 --> 00:09:02,950 Ya see, that's what your Ultraman's all about! 100 00:09:14,110 --> 00:09:16,450 I rejected Ultraman, then and there. 101 00:09:16,450 --> 00:09:21,420 And from that day on, I knew that I would become Mirror-Man! 102 00:10:16,020 --> 00:10:22,880 My constitution changed, and I couldn't go on living if I didn't check the mirror at least 24 times a day. 103 00:10:22,880 --> 00:10:28,450 On days I had the runs or was just plain constipated, just looking at a mirror calmed me down! 104 00:10:32,480 --> 00:10:34,950 Oh, you're a narcissist! 105 00:10:34,950 --> 00:10:36,320 What?! 106 00:10:36,320 --> 00:10:38,180 Did you call me an onanist?! 107 00:10:38,180 --> 00:10:39,930 No, a narcissist. 108 00:10:43,580 --> 00:10:47,080 At any time, any place—you're Mirror Man 109 00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:50,550 24 hours a day, you're Mirror Man 110 00:10:50,550 --> 00:10:54,150 The thing that you love most 111 00:10:54,150 --> 00:11:00,010 Why, that's the narcissist Mirror Man! 112 00:11:00,950 --> 00:11:04,420 At any time, any place—you're Mirror Man 113 00:11:04,420 --> 00:11:08,220 24 hours a day, you're Mirror Man 114 00:11:08,220 --> 00:11:13,850 A narcissist that doesn't know fear! 115 00:11:16,950 --> 00:11:19,120 You know, I keep having this dream. 116 00:11:19,120 --> 00:11:19,950 A dream? 117 00:11:19,950 --> 00:11:20,650 Yeah. 118 00:11:20,650 --> 00:11:25,220 There was this play in grade school, called The Bird-Beast Wars. 119 00:11:25,220 --> 00:11:27,440 -I played the bat. -The bat?{double} 120 00:11:27,440 --> 00:11:28,520 Yeah... 121 00:11:30,450 --> 00:11:35,910 KITSUNE UDON {Sign} 122 00:11:37,770 --> 00:11:38,450 Come again! 123 00:11:38,450 --> 00:11:39,250 Oh... 124 00:11:40,780 --> 00:11:41,810 Thank you! 125 00:11:44,420 --> 00:11:45,350 Here you go. 126 00:11:46,250 --> 00:11:50,320 So, the play's all about a war between birds and mammals. 127 00:11:52,250 --> 00:11:57,280 And the bat, it kept siding with whoever was winning. Sometimes, it'd be with the birds... 128 00:11:58,050 --> 00:12:03,530 ...and sometimes, it'd fight with the mammals. But since it kept going back and forth between the two... 129 00:12:05,050 --> 00:12:08,750 ...it ended up getting shunned by both sides. That's what the story was about. 130 00:12:08,750 --> 00:12:10,180 Wow, so it's the main role. 131 00:12:12,620 --> 00:12:16,450 I still dream about playing the bat. 132 00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:23,350 I keep apologizing, but the beasts don't forgive me, and neither do the birds. 133 00:12:23,350 --> 00:12:24,680 Huh... 134 00:12:24,680 --> 00:12:27,820 You know, if we go by the Freudian interpretation... 135 00:12:27,820 --> 00:12:29,230 What's the interpretation? 136 00:12:31,680 --> 00:12:32,750 Whoa! 137 00:12:33,820 --> 00:12:36,280 Sorry to keep you waiting. 138 00:12:36,280 --> 00:12:38,350 Wow, you scared me! 139 00:12:38,350 --> 00:12:40,520 You're not Dracula, are you? 140 00:12:40,820 --> 00:12:43,820 Say, do I look like Kitanoumi to you? {Note} 141 00:12:40,820 --> 00:12:43,820 TL Note: Kitanoumi was a famous Japanese sumo wrestler. {TL Note} 142 00:12:43,820 --> 00:12:45,120 Nope. 143 00:12:45,120 --> 00:12:47,780 Well, as long as you understand. 144 00:12:47,780 --> 00:12:49,650 Alright, tickets please. 145 00:12:50,370 --> 00:12:51,450 PIP - MAGNETIC BANDS {Sign} 146 00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:51,650 Some pips! {Note} 147 00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:53,720 Note: 'Pip' and 'Ticket' (kippu) rhyme, Pip being a Japanese medicine company. {TL Note} 148 00:12:53,720 --> 00:12:56,350 No, tickets! I said tickets! 149 00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:08,020 So you think so too, Yumi? You're right. 150 00:13:08,020 --> 00:13:11,980 Yasutaka Tsutsui's humor is just absolute genius. 151 00:13:11,980 --> 00:13:14,720 Not in the same way I'm a genius, though. 152 00:13:14,720 --> 00:13:16,980 And when did you become a genius, exactly? 153 00:13:16,980 --> 00:13:21,680 Remember the other day? You were eating irori soba, and I was eating umekata soba. 154 00:13:21,680 --> 00:13:25,580 That's when it hit me: I'm a genius. 155 00:13:25,580 --> 00:13:26,850 Huh... 156 00:13:31,080 --> 00:13:34,220 I just had this great idea. What do you think it is? 157 00:13:34,220 --> 00:13:35,250 Dunno. 158 00:13:35,250 --> 00:13:38,850 See, I'm writing a novel about the umi-bouzu sea monsters. 159 00:13:35,250 --> 00:13:38,850 TL Note: The "umi-bouzu" is a sea monster found in Japanese folklore. {TL Note} 160 00:13:38,850 --> 00:13:41,820 How much do you know about them? 161 00:13:41,820 --> 00:13:43,520 Dunno. 162 00:13:43,520 --> 00:13:48,380 See, nobody's seen one in person so far, right? 163 00:13:48,380 --> 00:13:53,280 Boy, I'm such a genius! Don't you think so, too? 164 00:13:53,280 --> 00:13:54,780 Dunno. 165 00:13:54,780 --> 00:13:57,220 What's that supposed to mean? Dummy... 166 00:13:57,750 --> 00:13:59,350 For crying out loud... 167 00:14:02,450 --> 00:14:07,180 So, anyway, I thought of a nickname for my sea monster. 168 00:14:07,820 --> 00:14:09,650 What do think it is? 169 00:14:09,650 --> 00:14:11,320 Dunno... 170 00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:15,080 Takodai Nyuudou. 171 00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:17,980 TL Note: A play on 'tako-nyuudou', a term drawing similarities between an octopus's head to a monk's shaven one. {TL Note} 172 00:14:15,420 --> 00:14:18,220 Boy, I have some great ideas, don't I? 173 00:14:18,220 --> 00:14:21,270 Takodai Nyuudou. Well, what do you think? 174 00:14:21,270 --> 00:14:23,630 I dunno, I really don't. 175 00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:27,450 Hey, how come you're always like this? 176 00:14:27,450 --> 00:14:30,890 You know you're exhausting, right? 177 00:14:32,610 --> 00:14:39,510 Not long after I got into a second-rate Tokyo university, I tried to pen a submission for the Naoki Literary Prize. 178 00:14:39,510 --> 00:14:44,920 At that point, I was as resistant of normalcy as ever. I just didn't care quite as much. 179 00:15:06,850 --> 00:15:08,120 Yes? 180 00:15:08,120 --> 00:15:09,680 Yes, that's me. 181 00:15:11,350 --> 00:15:12,980 What? 182 00:15:12,980 --> 00:15:14,130 Who, me?! 183 00:15:15,180 --> 00:15:16,630 You're sure?! 184 00:15:18,480 --> 00:15:19,530 Right... 185 00:15:20,820 --> 00:15:21,930 Right. 186 00:15:22,820 --> 00:15:23,850 Right! 187 00:15:39,420 --> 00:15:41,770 I did it! 188 00:15:42,280 --> 00:15:43,980 No way! 189 00:15:43,980 --> 00:15:45,350 It's true. 190 00:15:45,450 --> 00:15:49,350 Huh, so you actually got an award for a sci-fi short story. 191 00:15:49,350 --> 00:15:51,080 What do you know... 192 00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:54,350 Well, who knows! You just might be a genius after all! 193 00:15:55,240 --> 00:16:01,280 "I love chocolate parfait. The nay-sayers call me girly for it!" 194 00:16:01,280 --> 00:16:06,150 "So anyway, I've got the guts! I'm still gonna eat chocolate parfait." Hey, that's just fine! {radio} 195 00:16:04,850 --> 00:16:05,890 Stop it... 196 00:16:06,150 --> 00:16:10,280 If you like it, take pride and eat it in front of everyone! That's how I see it.{radio} 197 00:16:08,250 --> 00:16:10,720 Come on, that's enough. 198 00:16:10,280 --> 00:16:14,550 This next song goes out to our resident chocolate parfait lover, Mr. Poultry-Drowned-at-Sea!{radio} 199 00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:17,890 You're such a perv! 200 00:16:18,350 --> 00:16:19,770 Am I, though? 201 00:16:21,350 --> 00:16:23,310 Oh, the pleasure! 202 00:16:23,880 --> 00:16:25,230 You idiot. 203 00:16:33,020 --> 00:16:36,640 Are you ready? 204 00:16:37,020 --> 00:16:39,430 Still not. 205 00:16:42,580 --> 00:16:45,420 Are you ready? 206 00:16:46,250 --> 00:16:48,680 Still not... 207 00:16:50,150 --> 00:16:53,350 Are you ready? 208 00:16:54,310 --> 00:16:57,140 Still not... 209 00:16:58,050 --> 00:16:59,980 Seriously?! 210 00:17:07,620 --> 00:17:10,520 Okay, upsie-daisy. 211 00:17:13,720 --> 00:17:15,530 There we go. 212 00:17:16,520 --> 00:17:18,580 There we go... 213 00:17:18,580 --> 00:17:20,650 There we... go... 214 00:17:20,650 --> 00:17:22,180 What are you doing? 215 00:17:22,180 --> 00:17:24,250 Just some service, that's all. 216 00:17:24,250 --> 00:17:27,080 I'm fine, I don't need service. 217 00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:28,620 C'mon, it's just service. 218 00:17:28,620 --> 00:17:30,050 I already said no. 219 00:17:30,050 --> 00:17:30,780 Why, though? 220 00:17:30,780 --> 00:17:34,750 -I just don't! What are you doing? -C'mon, it's just a service, that's all!{double} 221 00:17:34,750 --> 00:17:37,550 -Oh, for crying out loud... -Hey, that's service, this is service...{double} 222 00:17:37,750 --> 00:17:39,720 It's all service... 223 00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:45,380 Let's dine on service this day... 224 00:17:45,650 --> 00:17:48,020 Not long now... 225 00:17:49,220 --> 00:17:53,520 It's just service. Hey, I can't unhook this. 226 00:17:53,520 --> 00:17:54,980 Wait, let's see... 227 00:17:54,980 --> 00:17:56,550 Wait... 228 00:17:56,550 --> 00:17:57,480 Um... 229 00:17:57,480 --> 00:17:59,850 There we go, it's off. 230 00:18:02,350 --> 00:18:05,020 Alright, let's get started. 231 00:18:25,020 --> 00:18:26,850 C'mon, just take this seriously. 232 00:18:26,850 --> 00:18:28,020 Sheesh... 233 00:18:33,750 --> 00:18:36,680 Come on, put some feeling into it! 234 00:18:50,250 --> 00:18:51,720 Hey, put on a rubber. 235 00:18:51,720 --> 00:18:52,950 Do I have to? 236 00:18:52,950 --> 00:18:54,560 Not today, too risky. 237 00:18:55,380 --> 00:18:58,650 Sheesh, fine, I get it... 238 00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:14,850 I really don't like condoms... 239 00:19:14,850 --> 00:19:17,580 Can't feel anything with these... 240 00:19:20,950 --> 00:19:22,520 There we go... 241 00:19:43,520 --> 00:19:49,730 I've gotta write this report about sexual energy, and its link to imagination.... 242 00:19:53,420 --> 00:19:59,950 You know... Freud said that sexual energies were... 243 00:20:02,820 --> 00:20:04,480 Wait, I'm not there yet. 244 00:20:04,480 --> 00:20:05,350 I'm not there... 245 00:20:05,350 --> 00:20:09,380 Sexual energies... They're... 246 00:20:09,380 --> 00:20:14,420 Ener... Ener...! 247 00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:16,520 ...gy! 248 00:20:17,380 --> 00:20:18,780 Oh, you. 249 00:20:34,950 --> 00:20:46,990 AS FOR THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN YUMI AND MYSELF,{Sign} 250 00:20:36,450 --> 00:20:46,990 THOUGH IT WOULD CONTINUE FOR 6 MONTHS AND 13 DAYS, IT CAME TO AN ABRUPT END ONE DAY.{Sign} 251 00:20:40,990 --> 00:20:46,990 THE UNDERLYING CAUSE, ONE CAN SURMISE, WAS MY INSATIABLE LOVE FOR ATTENTION.{Sign} 252 00:20:50,950 --> 00:20:57,910 My heart in pieces, I would submit sci-fi short stories with unyielding fervor. And yet... 253 00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:05,120 Coming... 254 00:21:05,120 --> 00:21:06,580 You've got mail. 255 00:21:06,580 --> 00:21:08,420 Oh, thanks a lot! 256 00:21:09,050 --> 00:21:11,020 Let's see... 257 00:21:12,330 --> 00:21:12,870 MR. MAN {Sign} 258 00:21:13,790 --> 00:21:18,240 SUPER ORDINARY PUBLISHING {Sign} 259 00:21:16,980 --> 00:21:19,010 Rejected?! 260 00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:18,240 REJECTED {Sign} 261 00:21:19,010 --> 00:21:22,020 Oh, damn it all... 262 00:21:26,180 --> 00:21:27,520 What do I do...? 263 00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:30,020 You've got mail. 264 00:21:30,020 --> 00:21:31,580 Oh, thanks... 265 00:21:32,530 --> 00:21:35,180 Rejected?! Wait, this one, too?! 266 00:21:35,720 --> 00:21:36,980 This one, too?! 267 00:21:36,980 --> 00:21:39,420 -You've got mail. -Hey, hold on a sec...!{double} 268 00:21:39,420 --> 00:21:40,880 This one! So's this one! 269 00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:43,210 -You've got mail. -Just shut it, man!{double} 270 00:21:43,210 --> 00:21:45,550 -What, this one, too?! Gimme some good news for once!{double} 271 00:21:43,850 --> 00:21:44,890 -You've got mail. 272 00:21:45,550 --> 00:21:47,520 Oh, come on! This one?! This one, too! 273 00:21:47,520 --> 00:21:49,920 -You've got mail. -This one, too! This one, too!{double} 274 00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:51,280 -They're all rejected! -You've got mail.{double} 275 00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:53,150 Oh, damn, damn! 276 00:21:53,150 --> 00:21:56,050 -You've got mail. -Wait, so's this one! So's this! And this! {double} 277 00:21:56,050 --> 00:21:57,380 -This one, too! -You've got mail.{double} 278 00:21:57,380 --> 00:21:59,880 -No, they're all rejected! -You've got mail. {double} 279 00:22:00,120 --> 00:22:03,250 They're all rejected, all of them! 280 00:22:03,250 --> 00:22:05,150 Damn! 281 00:22:05,150 --> 00:22:10,430 I don't know why, but after my first sci-fi submission, not a single thing I wrote would be accepted. 282 00:22:10,430 --> 00:22:15,620 As I sat there, fraught with disbelief, my time at the university was already running out. 283 00:22:15,620 --> 00:22:19,020 When I came to my senses, I was back to an ordinary life... 284 00:22:19,220 --> 00:22:22,220 Ah, lemme think. Bein' ordinary, ya say? 285 00:22:22,220 --> 00:22:25,520 Ain't that just the best thing there is? 286 00:22:25,520 --> 00:22:29,280 So says Mrs. Minagawa, from her home in Kyoto. 287 00:22:29,280 --> 00:22:32,850 Another day, another refresher. The Ordinary Drink. 288 00:22:40,620 --> 00:22:46,270 Almost as if spurred on by all of normalcy, I dived head-first into looking for employment. 289 00:22:46,950 --> 00:22:48,020 What's this? 290 00:22:48,900 --> 00:22:51,460 So your hobby is studying sea monsters? 291 00:22:51,460 --> 00:22:52,450 Yes, sir. 292 00:22:52,720 --> 00:22:55,610 Huh. Sea monsters, you don't say. 293 00:22:55,610 --> 00:22:57,820 Do you dislike sea monsters, sir? 294 00:22:57,820 --> 00:23:00,080 Well, I can't say I feel much either way. 295 00:23:00,580 --> 00:23:02,680 So you hate them, sir...? 296 00:23:02,680 --> 00:23:05,920 Look here, it's hardly a question of like or dislike, is it? 297 00:23:06,350 --> 00:23:10,070 -You really hate sea monsters that much, sir?! -Awfully insistent, aren't you?{double} 298 00:23:10,070 --> 00:23:13,280 You hate them! You hate sea monsters! 299 00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:15,250 But why? What's the reason?! 300 00:23:15,250 --> 00:23:18,320 -What's so wrong with sea monsters?! -Look here, you!{double} 301 00:23:18,320 --> 00:23:23,420 You bastard! What don't you like about sea monsters?! What's wrong with them, just say it! 302 00:23:23,420 --> 00:23:25,620 No one's said anything to that effect! 303 00:23:25,620 --> 00:23:27,750 It's that damn look in your eyes! 304 00:23:27,750 --> 00:23:29,720 Those damn eyes! I can feel their disdain! 305 00:23:29,720 --> 00:23:31,620 -Hey, someone get in here! -Yes, sir!{double} 306 00:23:31,620 --> 00:23:33,150 Escort this man outside, now! 307 00:23:33,150 --> 00:23:34,450 -Yes, sir. -And you know what?!{double} 308 00:23:34,450 --> 00:23:36,750 -Hating sea monsters, what does that even mean?! -Alright now, come along. {double} 309 00:23:36,750 --> 00:23:41,150 Hey, what is this?! This is discrimination! Conservative reactionist! Fascist! Screw off! 310 00:23:41,150 --> 00:23:44,180 You're the worst! A snake! A total jag-off!{double} 311 00:23:44,180 --> 00:23:47,650 Let go! Let go of me, damn you! 312 00:23:47,650 --> 00:23:51,180 I don't believe them, those little...! Screw them, screw them all to— 313 00:23:56,550 --> 00:24:01,330 Ain't matter what nobody says, ain't nothin' beat bein' normal! 314 00:24:01,580 --> 00:24:04,580 So says Mr. Mimura, from his home in Nagasaki. 315 00:24:04,580 --> 00:24:06,850 Another day, another refresher! 316 00:24:06,850 --> 00:24:07,820 So good! 317 00:24:07,820 --> 00:24:09,350 The Ordinary Drink! 318 00:24:10,050 --> 00:24:14,520 It's your big sis, Yuki! Let's start the day with a letter from Chiba's Taro-Potato.{radio} 319 00:24:10,050 --> 00:24:15,320 One, two, three, four... 320 00:24:14,520 --> 00:24:16,350 "I've been super depressed lately."{radio} 321 00:24:15,320 --> 00:24:20,580 Five, six, seven, eight... 322 00:24:16,350 --> 00:24:19,850 "You see, I've been totally failing in job-hunting."{radio} 323 00:24:19,850 --> 00:24:26,570 "I know just focusing on big companies has its issues, but I kept hoping I'd get into one. It's really disappointing." {radio} 324 00:24:20,580 --> 00:24:25,080 Nine, ten, eleven, twelve... 325 00:24:25,080 --> 00:24:29,620 Thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen.... 326 00:24:26,570 --> 00:24:30,250 "There's so many small companies, but you never know when they'll go broke."{radio} 327 00:24:29,620 --> 00:24:34,050 Seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty... 328 00:24:30,250 --> 00:24:34,720 "At least big companies are rather stable, right? They're better in terms of welfare benefits, too."{radio} 329 00:24:34,050 --> 00:24:38,350 Twenty-one, twenty-two, twenty-three, twenty-four... 330 00:24:34,720 --> 00:24:38,680 "And my mom, she keeps saying it has to be a top-tier company." {radio} 331 00:24:38,350 --> 00:24:43,120 Twenty-five, twenty-six, twenty-seven, twenty-eight... 332 00:24:38,680 --> 00:24:43,450 "But hey, I think so too. I've been thinking about just repeating a year and aiming for the best."{radio} 333 00:24:43,120 --> 00:24:47,720 Twenty-nine, thirty... Thirty-two... 334 00:24:43,450 --> 00:24:45,620 "Yuki, what do you think? Let me know!"{radio} 335 00:24:45,620 --> 00:24:47,680 Oh, at your age? Bad idea!{radio} 336 00:24:47,680 --> 00:24:52,750 There's more than just the big companies out there! But Yuki admits, a bigger company might be better.{radio} 337 00:24:47,720 --> 00:24:52,380 Thirty-three, thirty-four, thirty-five, thirty-six... 338 00:24:52,380 --> 00:24:57,150 Thirty-seven... Forty... 339 00:24:52,750 --> 00:24:57,050 Still, it's a little dumb to think that just because a company's big, it's stable.{radio} 340 00:24:57,050 --> 00:25:03,080 Maybe you just need to rethink what you want to do, and what you're even suited for.{radio} 341 00:24:57,150 --> 00:25:01,850 Forty-one, forty-two...! 342 00:25:03,080 --> 00:25:04,870 Alright, let's get going.{radio} 343 00:25:06,650 --> 00:25:08,230 You've got mail. 344 00:25:09,820 --> 00:25:12,150 -Thanks, man. -Just doing my job, sir.{double} 345 00:25:12,150 --> 00:25:14,470 Oh, right. Just your job... 346 00:25:19,780 --> 00:25:22,580 What is this, anyway...? 347 00:25:22,580 --> 00:25:26,380 Cut, cut, cut, cut... Whoops. 348 00:25:26,380 --> 00:25:29,980 Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut... Cut...! 349 00:25:29,980 --> 00:25:32,450 There we go! Okay... 350 00:25:33,280 --> 00:25:36,150 Let's see... 351 00:25:35,160 --> 00:25:39,740 REJECTED{Sign} 352 00:25:37,480 --> 00:25:39,280 Um... 353 00:25:39,280 --> 00:25:41,880 Uh, what is this...? 354 00:25:41,990 --> 00:25:43,490 REJECTED{Sign} 355 00:25:43,150 --> 00:25:46,920 What the hell?! You... Screw you! 356 00:25:46,920 --> 00:25:48,230 You bastards! 357 00:25:59,020 --> 00:26:00,720 So you have no talent? 358 00:26:00,720 --> 00:26:02,350 Talent? 359 00:26:02,350 --> 00:26:04,880 I am... A genius! 360 00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:07,120 A genius? 361 00:26:07,120 --> 00:26:11,180 A genius... Oh, that thing that always comes back when you forget it exists? {Note} 362 00:26:07,120 --> 00:26:11,180 TL Note: A play on a famous saying regarding 'calamities' (tensai/ć€©çœ) and genius (tensai/ć€©æ‰). 363 00:26:11,180 --> 00:26:12,820 No, that ain't it! 364 00:26:12,820 --> 00:26:14,880 Oh, it isn't? 365 00:26:14,880 --> 00:26:16,120 That's right! 366 00:26:16,120 --> 00:26:20,980 My imagination, see....! At some point, my imagination just started moving on its own! 367 00:26:20,980 --> 00:26:26,450 Now it breaks through all rational barriers and extends towards the infinite! 368 00:26:27,020 --> 00:26:31,350 And when that litmus test of mine turns red, I feel my cheeks doing the same. 369 00:26:31,350 --> 00:26:36,950 Then, my cells... They all start pointing towards Ultraman! 370 00:26:36,950 --> 00:26:38,550 Oh, you're a romanticist. 371 00:26:38,550 --> 00:26:40,550 Who? Me? 372 00:26:40,550 --> 00:26:42,980 That's right! You're a total romanticist. 373 00:26:51,780 --> 00:26:58,680 You're too much of a romanticist 374 00:26:59,880 --> 00:27:07,520 The biggest romanticist in the whole world 375 00:27:08,780 --> 00:27:16,930 Always, always living in your own head 376 00:27:22,710 --> 00:27:29,770 You're too much of a romanticist 377 00:27:31,070 --> 00:27:40,180 Once you get lost in your own dreams 378 00:27:40,180 --> 00:27:50,930 No matter who knocks at your door, you won't hear them 379 00:27:52,580 --> 00:27:59,520 A time will come when all your dreams 380 00:28:01,630 --> 00:28:09,430 Are all locked away by time 381 00:28:10,780 --> 00:28:17,970 You're too much of a romanticist 382 00:28:19,750 --> 00:28:27,310 You're such a lonely romanticist 383 00:28:35,620 --> 00:28:38,640 Hey, that's grand! Ain't that grand?! 384 00:28:39,150 --> 00:28:42,920 I was waiting for someone to fall on their rear, though. 385 00:28:43,430 --> 00:28:44,850 What? 386 00:28:44,850 --> 00:28:46,720 Are you Frankenstein? 387 00:28:46,720 --> 00:28:51,020 Say, do I look like Kitanoumi to you? 388 00:28:51,020 --> 00:28:52,430 Not at all. 389 00:28:53,730 --> 00:28:56,130 Then I'd like to see your tickets. 390 00:28:56,720 --> 00:29:00,560 Note: 'Ticket' (kippu) rhymes with 'chip' (chippu) in Japanese. {TL Note} 391 00:28:56,720 --> 00:28:57,860 I've got some chips! 392 00:28:57,860 --> 00:29:00,560 No, that's a potato chip! 393 00:29:05,280 --> 00:29:08,630 I'm asking for your tickets! Your tickets! 394 00:29:11,120 --> 00:29:12,010 This? 395 00:29:12,280 --> 00:29:13,220 That's right! 396 00:29:14,950 --> 00:29:16,650 Tickets! 397 00:29:28,620 --> 00:29:30,080 Ow! 398 00:29:34,580 --> 00:29:36,250 Wait, weren't you my senior? 399 00:29:36,250 --> 00:29:38,350 Is that you, Takayama? 400 00:29:38,350 --> 00:29:41,120 Hey, it's you! Still alive and kicking, huh? 401 00:29:41,120 --> 00:29:43,270 Hey, I don't die easy. 402 00:29:44,720 --> 00:29:49,320 Well, major companies
 They're highly competitive and you'd also need some connections. 403 00:29:49,320 --> 00:29:51,430 That's exactly it... 404 00:29:55,550 --> 00:29:56,950 How about you work for me? 405 00:29:56,950 --> 00:29:59,520 -Where do you work, exactly? -Well...{double} 406 00:29:59,920 --> 00:30:02,620 We publish magazines. It's a small company, though. 407 00:30:02,620 --> 00:30:04,480 Wow! What kind of magazines? 408 00:30:04,480 --> 00:30:06,620 Well, I guess... 409 00:30:06,620 --> 00:30:10,180 They focus on themes of contemporary culture and sexuality. 410 00:30:10,650 --> 00:30:13,250 Sexuality and contemporary culture...? 411 00:30:13,250 --> 00:30:15,980 Wow, that's such a modern topic! 412 00:30:15,980 --> 00:30:18,520 You could say that, sure. So, how about it? 413 00:30:18,520 --> 00:30:20,020 Sure! I'd love to! 414 00:30:36,770 --> 00:30:38,120 Come on in. 415 00:30:36,770 --> 00:30:41,950 HAIRY PUBLISHING{Sign} 416 00:30:46,180 --> 00:30:49,020 Hey, are these...? 417 00:30:50,280 --> 00:30:52,230 Yeah? What's up? 418 00:30:52,920 --> 00:30:57,450 Your magazines about contemporary culture and sexuality? Are they just nudie mags? 419 00:30:57,450 --> 00:31:00,620 Sure are, isn't it great? Well, break a leg. 420 00:31:00,620 --> 00:31:02,320 But, um... 421 00:31:02,320 --> 00:31:04,520 Yes, hello? This is Hairy Publishing. 422 00:31:04,520 --> 00:31:06,520 Oh, thanks for all your help the other day! 423 00:31:06,520 --> 00:31:09,680 I certainly can't say I hated nudie magazines. 424 00:31:09,680 --> 00:31:15,520 I just never really thought I'd become the editor for one so out of the blue, that's all. 425 00:31:16,280 --> 00:31:22,750 It felt like downing a coffee spiked with an inferiority and a superiority complex. 426 00:31:22,750 --> 00:31:24,180 But still... 427 00:31:41,780 --> 00:31:43,550 Ba-ba-ba-ba-bang! 428 00:31:43,550 --> 00:31:46,280 Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-bang! 429 00:31:50,780 --> 00:31:52,080 Take that! 430 00:31:52,080 --> 00:31:55,020 You bastard, get up. Come on. 431 00:31:55,680 --> 00:31:59,450 Come on! He's dead. Hey, he's dead! 432 00:32:02,950 --> 00:32:05,930 Alright, it's about time to get started. 433 00:32:06,350 --> 00:32:09,120 Hey, how long's this play gonna go on for? 434 00:32:09,880 --> 00:32:11,020 Yeah, alright... 435 00:32:12,750 --> 00:32:13,920 Okay! 436 00:32:14,350 --> 00:32:15,780 -Hey, Kazumi? -Yeah?{double} 437 00:32:15,780 --> 00:32:17,480 Bring in that hustle, you hear me? 438 00:32:17,480 --> 00:32:22,450 Aye, sir! Private Kazumi, reporting for duty and ready to make all the boys stand to attention! 439 00:32:22,450 --> 00:32:23,880 Great, that's the spirit! 440 00:32:23,880 --> 00:32:27,020 -Okay, Kazumi. Let's start with a provocative pose. 441 00:32:25,830 --> 00:32:27,020 -Sure thing! 442 00:32:27,620 --> 00:32:28,650 Hey, Mr. Araki? 443 00:32:29,880 --> 00:32:31,780 What? Got a special request or something? 444 00:32:31,780 --> 00:32:33,780 Aren't we using any reflector boards? 445 00:32:33,780 --> 00:32:35,140 Reflectors? 446 00:32:35,520 --> 00:32:39,850 I like to capture things au naturale, you get me? 447 00:32:39,850 --> 00:32:44,380 Au naturale, huh? I get it... 448 00:32:44,380 --> 00:32:46,780 Well, 'teach'? Can we get started? 449 00:32:46,780 --> 00:32:49,850 Oh, right! Sorry, please go ahead. 450 00:32:50,980 --> 00:32:53,080 Okay, Kazumi. Put your heart into it, let's go! 451 00:32:53,080 --> 00:32:54,130 Sure thing! 452 00:32:54,400 --> 00:32:55,980 Right, give us a smile. 453 00:32:55,980 --> 00:32:56,950 Okay! 454 00:33:09,580 --> 00:33:13,930 This one's a dud. The expression, it's just missing something. 455 00:33:14,610 --> 00:33:17,480 Look at you, you're already talking like an expert. 456 00:33:17,480 --> 00:33:22,420 C'mon, Takayama. A good expression can get you 120% harder! 457 00:33:25,180 --> 00:33:27,400 Hello, you've reached Spirit Tablet. 458 00:33:27,400 --> 00:33:29,820 Yes? That's right. 459 00:33:29,820 --> 00:33:31,040 Right, thank you. 460 00:33:33,300 --> 00:33:38,220 C'mon, Takayama. Let's go hardcore next time! We're gonna show some pubes! {Note} 461 00:33:33,300 --> 00:33:39,420 TL Note: Distribution of images with pubic hair was illegal in Japan during the 1980's. {TL Note} 462 00:33:38,220 --> 00:33:43,980 -Moron. You wanna get cuffed?! 463 00:33:41,140 --> 00:33:43,980 -Oh come on, that's so not like you.{overlap} 464 00:33:43,980 --> 00:33:47,890 Who the hell sells nudie mags if they're afraid of some damn state authority? 465 00:33:47,890 --> 00:33:49,520 What, state authority? 466 00:33:50,240 --> 00:33:52,350 You're damn right it scares me! 467 00:33:52,940 --> 00:33:55,380 Yep, scares me stiff. 468 00:33:55,380 --> 00:33:57,900 Oh, come on! Let's just do it! 469 00:33:57,900 --> 00:34:02,140 Let's go for something more hardcore! Something with a better punch! 470 00:34:10,700 --> 00:34:12,460 You ready, Hiromi? 471 00:34:12,460 --> 00:34:13,310 Sure am. 472 00:34:14,300 --> 00:34:18,140 Hey, Araki. Let's keep an eye on that expression, okay? 473 00:34:18,140 --> 00:34:20,020 I get it already! 474 00:34:28,780 --> 00:34:31,100 Okay, let's get started! 475 00:34:31,860 --> 00:34:34,880 Hey, Hiromi. Spread your legs, slowly. 476 00:34:34,880 --> 00:34:36,530 Okay, great! That's the stuff. 477 00:34:36,960 --> 00:34:40,810 Good, good! That's it! Get in those panties! 478 00:34:41,060 --> 00:34:43,820 That's the way! Let your hand go through. 479 00:34:43,820 --> 00:34:47,220 -Good, good! That's good! -Hey, Araki! Let's go for a lower angle!{double} 480 00:34:47,220 --> 00:34:51,080 Let's do a 180 and go hardcore! No punches pulled! 481 00:34:51,080 --> 00:34:53,230 Hardcore, no punches pulled, huh? 482 00:34:53,760 --> 00:34:55,480 Hiromi, you heard him. 483 00:34:55,480 --> 00:34:56,530 Sure, sure. 484 00:34:58,820 --> 00:35:01,020 Okay, good. That's it, Hiromi. 485 00:35:01,560 --> 00:35:04,180 Nice! That's a good expression! 486 00:35:04,180 --> 00:35:07,340 Softly, now! More! That's good! 487 00:35:07,340 --> 00:35:11,500 Breasts! Don't forget the breasts! Good, that's the way to go. 488 00:35:18,580 --> 00:35:20,240 What's this about your lover, Hiromi? 489 00:35:20,240 --> 00:35:21,330 We broke it off. 490 00:35:21,930 --> 00:35:23,740 Huh. So you're through, huh? 491 00:35:23,740 --> 00:35:26,970 Well yeah, he wouldn't shut up! He was a huge bother! 492 00:35:26,970 --> 00:35:29,600 -What, are men like that out of the question? 493 00:35:28,520 --> 00:35:29,600 -They sure are! 494 00:35:31,420 --> 00:35:34,020 -What about university? -I still go there, duh.{double} 495 00:35:34,020 --> 00:35:36,000 Didn't you know were a student, Hiromi. 496 00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:39,410 What, there something wrong with a student being in a nudie mag? 497 00:35:39,410 --> 00:35:42,700 I mean, I don't see the problem. Personal freedom and all, right? 498 00:35:42,700 --> 00:35:46,880 See, Hiromi here's saving up. There's this southern island called... What was it again? 499 00:35:46,880 --> 00:35:48,360 Alcalidort Island. 500 00:35:48,360 --> 00:35:53,060 Right! She's gonna buy that Alkali-whatever Island and make her own country, she says! 501 00:35:53,500 --> 00:35:56,840 Wow. Your own country, huh? 502 00:35:57,700 --> 00:35:59,940 So it's like your Dreamland, Hiromi? 503 00:35:59,940 --> 00:36:02,360 Hey, it's not a dream at all! 504 00:36:02,360 --> 00:36:04,700 Hiromi's gonna do it! 505 00:36:04,700 --> 00:36:07,400 -What, for real? -For real!{double} 506 00:36:07,400 --> 00:36:10,400 -So it's not just some dream? -Nope, it's not!{double} 507 00:36:10,400 --> 00:36:14,830 Good for you, I like that! I love the way you think. 508 00:36:15,260 --> 00:36:17,500 Hey, I wanna be a citizen there. 509 00:36:17,500 --> 00:36:19,500 -Do you really? -Sure do!{double} 510 00:36:19,500 --> 00:36:22,000 Then you have my permission. That'll be 10,000 Yen. 511 00:36:22,380 --> 00:36:23,970 10,000, really? 512 00:36:23,970 --> 00:36:26,120 Hey, citizenships don't come free. 513 00:36:26,120 --> 00:36:28,020 Hey, you don't have to if you don't want one. 514 00:36:28,700 --> 00:36:31,600 I'll pay. Fine, I'll pay. 515 00:36:34,630 --> 00:36:36,570 -Here you go. -Thank you!{double} 516 00:36:37,360 --> 00:36:39,660 Alright, let's raise our glasses to a new citizen! 517 00:36:39,660 --> 00:36:42,100 Oh, you're a citizen too, Araki? 518 00:36:42,100 --> 00:36:44,060 Sure am. What about it? 519 00:36:44,060 --> 00:36:45,140 No, nothing... 520 00:36:45,140 --> 00:36:47,120 Okay, cheers for our newest citizen! 521 00:36:47,120 --> 00:36:48,620 -Okay, cheers! -Cheers!{double} 522 00:36:50,020 --> 00:36:53,200 Hey, you sure you're good to go? 523 00:36:53,620 --> 00:36:56,340 -Ya moron...! -Hey, c'mon.{double} 524 00:36:56,340 --> 00:37:02,430 I'm Hiromi, this much booze ain't nothing...! 525 00:37:04,940 --> 00:37:09,540 -You sure you're fine? -I told you, I'm fine! Fine!{double} 526 00:37:12,820 --> 00:37:15,340 Okay, here we go... 527 00:37:15,340 --> 00:37:18,420 -And here we go... -And hup...{double} 528 00:37:18,900 --> 00:37:22,100 Okay, there... 529 00:37:27,500 --> 00:37:30,340 It's too hot in here... 530 00:37:32,180 --> 00:37:33,510 I'm gonna strip... 531 00:37:35,340 --> 00:37:36,980 Sure... 532 00:37:52,540 --> 00:37:54,700 There... 533 00:38:11,900 --> 00:38:13,910 Gonna sleep...? 534 00:38:16,780 --> 00:38:17,940 Hey... 535 00:38:17,940 --> 00:38:20,420 Gotta turn off the light... 536 00:38:25,540 --> 00:38:28,630 Hey, you gonna sleep...? 537 00:38:38,020 --> 00:38:39,520 Wait... 538 00:38:43,120 --> 00:38:44,940 Whoa, whoa... 539 00:38:51,780 --> 00:38:55,020 Gonna strip... I'm gonna strip... 540 00:38:55,020 --> 00:38:57,180 Hey, uh... 541 00:38:57,180 --> 00:39:02,120 You know... You're looking fine, princess... 542 00:39:03,020 --> 00:39:06,340 What's goin'... What's...? 543 00:39:18,340 --> 00:39:20,140 There, it's off... 544 00:39:25,340 --> 00:39:27,020 There we go... 545 00:39:34,180 --> 00:39:41,980 Hey, Hiromi? Hey? Hey, Hiromi... 546 00:39:41,980 --> 00:39:43,020 Hiromi... 547 00:40:02,020 --> 00:40:04,430 Yes, hello? This is Hairy Publishing. 548 00:40:05,400 --> 00:40:07,020 Oh, it's you. 549 00:40:08,260 --> 00:40:10,770 Sure. Yeah. 550 00:40:10,770 --> 00:40:12,180 Sure thing. 551 00:40:27,340 --> 00:40:30,140 Sorry! Did you wait long? 552 00:40:30,140 --> 00:40:32,700 -For about five cigarettes, yeah. 553 00:40:31,620 --> 00:40:32,700 -Sorry! 554 00:40:32,700 --> 00:40:34,460 Guess you got some good manners, huh? 555 00:40:34,460 --> 00:40:36,240 Sure do, I was raised right. 556 00:40:36,240 --> 00:40:38,820 There you go again, playing it up. 557 00:40:40,660 --> 00:40:44,830 Okay! Another day, another drink! 558 00:40:46,860 --> 00:40:49,580 Oh, come on. You can't be serious. 559 00:40:49,580 --> 00:40:51,560 You bet I am! 560 00:40:52,220 --> 00:40:56,830 All women, prostitutes. All men, also prostitutes. 561 00:40:59,510 --> 00:41:05,880 That's gonna be the economic basis of our great nation. 562 00:41:05,880 --> 00:41:09,680 Its only form of manual labor! 563 00:41:09,680 --> 00:41:11,940 So what, do I gotta sell myself in drag? 564 00:41:11,940 --> 00:41:16,740 You sure do! All our good citizens... 565 00:41:16,740 --> 00:41:22,420 They're all puttin' their bodies on the line. They all work as equals! 566 00:41:22,420 --> 00:41:27,660 -I don't think drag's gonna look good on me... 567 00:41:24,900 --> 00:41:27,660 -My orders are absolute!{overlap} 568 00:41:28,260 --> 00:41:32,640 Oh, my! Don't you tease little old me like that, sister! 569 00:41:32,640 --> 00:41:34,100 You're so dumb! 570 00:41:48,460 --> 00:41:54,100 Racing through the city, dead middle 571 00:41:54,100 --> 00:41:59,810 Wanting for nothing under the blue sky 572 00:42:00,410 --> 00:42:05,980 Thinking of tomorrow? 573 00:42:05,980 --> 00:42:08,820 That's there, even now! 574 00:42:10,880 --> 00:42:16,340 Your pale arms wrap around me 575 00:42:16,340 --> 00:42:22,420 The burnt asphalt carves a high highway! 576 00:42:22,580 --> 00:42:27,860 As we turn into the wind 577 00:42:28,220 --> 00:42:32,270 Race on through! 578 00:43:31,710 --> 00:43:34,510 So, that model for our S&M series. How's she working out? 579 00:43:34,510 --> 00:43:40,680 Oh, right. I did pick up a couple subjects, but I'm just not finding anyone fresh, you know? 580 00:43:40,680 --> 00:43:42,460 Okay, I hear you... 581 00:43:43,360 --> 00:43:45,720 -Who are you people? -Shut it, move!{double} 582 00:43:48,230 --> 00:43:50,060 You're Ichiro Takayama, aren't you?! 583 00:43:53,430 --> 00:43:56,630 You're under arrest for the distribution of obscene material. 584 00:43:57,620 --> 00:44:01,620 Hey, hold on! What's so bad about seeing a little pubic hair? 585 00:44:01,620 --> 00:44:03,300 Don't you know the law, punk? 586 00:44:03,300 --> 00:44:06,740 How is that a law? What, do you not have pubes?! 587 00:44:06,740 --> 00:44:08,740 Well, Officer?! 588 00:44:08,740 --> 00:44:11,000 You wanna get arrested too, you punk?! 589 00:44:11,000 --> 00:44:12,510 What...?! 590 00:44:12,510 --> 00:44:16,240 Drop it. You're not gonna get through to these people. 591 00:44:16,240 --> 00:44:20,490 It's people like you that are ruining Japan. 592 00:44:21,140 --> 00:44:23,010 How about you show some damn regret?! 593 00:44:23,010 --> 00:44:25,380 If anyone's ruining Japan, it's you people! 594 00:44:25,380 --> 00:44:28,630 What was that? Just try saying that again, you little punk! 595 00:44:32,230 --> 00:44:36,360 It's just a matter of time before you go in the slammer, too. 596 00:44:44,220 --> 00:44:46,210 -Come on, we're leaving. -Yes, sir.{double} 597 00:44:47,420 --> 00:44:50,220 Guess I'll be on break for a while. 598 00:44:52,020 --> 00:44:53,520 Takayama... 599 00:45:05,580 --> 00:45:08,420 Who gives a damn about pubes?! 600 00:45:08,420 --> 00:45:10,900 Ouch! Ow, ow... 601 00:45:14,120 --> 00:45:17,360 It all came and went like a flash. 602 00:45:17,360 --> 00:45:23,230 Hairy Publishing went bankrupt not six months after I joined. 603 00:45:26,580 --> 00:45:28,780 Yeah, we're done for... 604 00:45:29,660 --> 00:45:31,770 Pull yourself together, come on. 605 00:45:33,230 --> 00:45:37,720 Who cares if it failed? If you don't have an editor-in-chief, just do it yourself! 606 00:45:39,300 --> 00:45:42,060 What... Who... Me...? 607 00:45:42,060 --> 00:45:44,930 Exactly! You can just do it yourself. 608 00:45:45,300 --> 00:45:47,730 -Myself...? -Right, yourself.{double}. 609 00:45:48,820 --> 00:45:50,260 Just gotta do it myself, huh? 610 00:45:50,260 --> 00:45:52,470 What, not confident you can handle it alone? 611 00:45:53,820 --> 00:45:56,770 -Sure I am! -Then why not just go through with it?{double} 612 00:45:56,770 --> 00:45:57,930 You've gotta do it! 613 00:45:58,260 --> 00:46:00,060 I've gotta do it, huh...? 614 00:46:00,060 --> 00:46:02,310 Yep, you've gotta. 615 00:46:03,130 --> 00:46:06,410 Gotta do it... Yeah... 616 00:46:08,460 --> 00:46:09,330 Yeah... 617 00:46:10,740 --> 00:46:11,890 Yeah. 618 00:46:12,900 --> 00:46:14,890 I've gotta do it... 619 00:46:15,940 --> 00:46:17,230 Yeah... 620 00:46:18,420 --> 00:46:21,820 Yeah. I've gotta do it. 621 00:46:23,980 --> 00:46:24,930 Yeah! 622 00:46:27,180 --> 00:46:30,120 -I've gotta do it! -Yeah!{double} 623 00:46:30,120 --> 00:46:31,970 -I've gotta do it! -You've gotta do it!{double} 624 00:46:32,740 --> 00:46:34,900 Hey, don't run! 625 00:46:34,900 --> 00:46:38,220 Don't run, Hiromi! It's dangerous! 626 00:46:38,220 --> 00:46:41,500 Don't run! Hey, come on! 627 00:46:41,500 --> 00:46:43,140 Hey, Hiromi! 628 00:46:45,980 --> 00:46:48,530 Hiromi! Hiromi...! 629 00:46:48,530 --> 00:46:51,260 Get up, Hiromi! Are you okay?! 630 00:46:51,260 --> 00:46:54,850 Hiromi! Hey! Wake up, Hiromi...! 631 00:46:55,580 --> 00:47:00,730 Hiromi... Get up, c'mon...! This can't be happening... 632 00:47:01,300 --> 00:47:02,240 Hiromi... 633 00:47:17,830 --> 00:47:23,020 Just one hour later, Hiromi departed from this world. 634 00:47:49,000 --> 00:47:52,970 On the thirty-second morning that came to follow... {TLC} 635 00:47:52,970 --> 00:47:55,620 I ventured into the town. My first outing in a while. 636 00:48:11,560 --> 00:48:13,680 Would you like a hamburger? 637 00:48:16,900 --> 00:48:23,620 Keen on funneling some nutrients to my brainbox, I bought myself a hamburger with 100% beef. 638 00:49:06,080 --> 00:49:09,280 Ya can say whatchu want, ain't nothin' better than ordinary! 639 00:49:09,280 --> 00:49:11,430 Ordinary's the best, ain't it? 640 00:49:11,430 --> 00:49:14,780 So says Mr. Kaneda, from his home in Osaka. 641 00:49:14,780 --> 00:49:18,160 Another day, another refresher! The Ordinary Drink! 642 00:49:18,160 --> 00:49:19,220 Yum! 643 00:49:31,200 --> 00:49:35,640 Someone who feels no seasons 644 00:49:36,930 --> 00:49:41,680 That's how I've always lived 645 00:49:42,620 --> 00:49:54,300 But now that I've made it here, I'm all alone 646 00:49:54,300 --> 00:49:58,810 When I tried to feel the seasons 647 00:50:00,100 --> 00:50:04,960 Everything started to shine 648 00:50:05,860 --> 00:50:11,700 That wouldn't happen anyway! 649 00:50:11,700 --> 00:50:17,660 It's all too bright for me! 650 00:50:23,640 --> 00:50:28,100 We had our restless days 651 00:50:29,500 --> 00:50:34,470 And once we break away from them 652 00:50:35,460 --> 00:50:43,310 Come on, let's go, we no longer have a reason 653 00:50:44,480 --> 00:50:49,020 Never relying on anyone 654 00:50:50,500 --> 00:50:55,350 That's how I always thought I'd live 655 00:50:56,360 --> 00:51:02,340 But now that I'm here 656 00:51:02,340 --> 00:51:07,340 See the crowds crawling about... 657 00:51:13,300 --> 00:51:18,130 It was the 24th of December, Christmas Eve. 658 00:51:18,130 --> 00:51:21,520 My pockets were bereft of company, and so was my heart. 659 00:51:33,700 --> 00:51:35,200 THIS IS YOUR BIG CHANCE!{Sign} 660 00:51:34,300 --> 00:51:38,620 At first, I thought it was just an ad for some shady nightclub. 661 00:51:38,620 --> 00:51:42,780 But then I thought, "Hey, hold on. What if, just maybe..." 662 00:51:42,780 --> 00:51:46,330 "That clown, what if she was Santa Claus?" 663 00:51:50,780 --> 00:51:57,020 "And this leaflet, what if it's Santa's present?" 664 00:51:59,020 --> 00:52:04,220 While my cerebrum still wrestled with its choices, I took to running! 665 00:52:04,220 --> 00:52:07,930 My legs were running at full speed, enough to cross 50 meters in 6.2 seconds! 666 00:52:23,980 --> 00:52:28,180 Nothing can stop these legs of mine 667 00:52:29,020 --> 00:52:32,810 Wherever they go, wherever they go 668 00:52:33,660 --> 00:52:38,620 We ain't got time to tell jokes 669 00:52:38,620 --> 00:52:42,540 All I can really do... 670 00:52:46,120 --> 00:52:50,940 Running like Olympic athletes 671 00:52:50,940 --> 00:52:55,620 My legs, they won't ever 672 00:52:55,620 --> 00:52:58,180 Ever stop! 673 00:53:01,170 --> 00:53:05,310 Even when I have nowhere to go, or when I'm feeling down 674 00:53:06,180 --> 00:53:10,820 My legs won't ever stop running 675 00:53:10,820 --> 00:53:15,700 We ain't got time to tell jokes 676 00:53:15,700 --> 00:53:19,620 All I can really do... 677 00:54:02,460 --> 00:54:04,230 What are these...? 678 00:54:09,060 --> 00:54:10,220 Huh...? 679 00:54:44,660 --> 00:54:49,560 For reasons unknown, I grew ecstatic! That day ended with me drinking until I completely blacked out. 680 00:54:51,420 --> 00:54:54,180 And so, one week passed. 681 00:55:07,480 --> 00:55:09,120 What...? 682 00:55:10,740 --> 00:55:12,390 Who's there...? 683 00:55:13,170 --> 00:55:16,230 It's way too early... 684 00:55:17,340 --> 00:55:19,260 Up we go... 685 00:55:20,180 --> 00:55:21,460 Who's there? 686 00:55:23,420 --> 00:55:25,380 We're here to escort you, sir. 687 00:55:25,380 --> 00:55:27,630 What? Wait, who are you people? 688 00:55:27,630 --> 00:55:30,260 What—huh?! Where are you taking me? 689 00:55:30,940 --> 00:55:33,540 Hey, let me go! What's going on? 690 00:55:33,540 --> 00:55:35,660 Let me go! What is all this? 691 00:55:35,660 --> 00:55:37,460 Please, get on. 692 00:55:38,420 --> 00:55:39,180 Turtle, turtle. 693 00:55:44,190 --> 00:55:45,680 Someone help! 694 00:55:49,020 --> 00:55:52,280 I ran, with my ability to run 50m in 6.5 seconds! 695 00:55:52,280 --> 00:55:55,350 I fled by 15 horse lengths! 696 00:55:56,060 --> 00:56:01,480 The red ogre and wolf-man were on my tail, as serious as two Olympic athletes. I was desperate! 697 00:56:01,480 --> 00:56:03,700 I just ran, my mind racing to think how far I'd go. 698 00:56:03,700 --> 00:56:07,440 The exact reason I had to run was no longer relevant—I just ran ahead. 699 00:56:10,330 --> 00:56:14,860 Passing the fourth corner, I entered the last 400-meter stretch. There it was, the last slope! 700 00:56:14,860 --> 00:56:18,550 The wolf-man and the red ogre were coming! They were close! 701 00:56:18,550 --> 00:56:21,720 I squeezed out every last bit of strength I had. Just 200 meters! 702 00:56:21,720 --> 00:56:25,470 My 6.2-seconds-per-50-meters legs ran over that last uphill slope! 703 00:56:25,470 --> 00:56:27,970 Just 50 more meters! 20 meters now! 704 00:56:27,970 --> 00:56:30,340 Eyes on the finish line, I ran that last spurt! 705 00:56:30,340 --> 00:56:32,650 There, the finish line! I got away! 706 00:56:32,650 --> 00:56:36,370 Or so I thought, only to be assailed from both sides. 707 00:56:38,420 --> 00:56:42,230 Deprived of oxygen, I lost all consciousness. 708 00:56:44,190 --> 00:56:46,100 And when I finally came to... 709 00:56:46,100 --> 00:56:48,600 -You were in a desert? 710 00:56:47,580 --> 00:56:48,600 -Yeah.{double} 711 00:57:28,570 --> 00:57:31,040 We welcome you to the Dreamlands! 712 00:57:31,040 --> 00:57:34,020 We welcome you to the Dreamlands! 713 00:57:34,020 --> 00:57:37,840 From this day forth, you will be a citizen of the Dreamlands. 714 00:57:37,840 --> 00:57:39,910 Me, a Dreamland citizen? 715 00:57:39,910 --> 00:57:40,870 Indeed! 716 00:57:40,870 --> 00:57:46,070 None will disturb you again. From this day forth, you will be Ultraman! 717 00:57:46,130 --> 00:57:48,070 I'm gonna be Ultraman? 718 00:57:48,070 --> 00:57:50,530 That you will. You are Ultraman. 719 00:57:50,530 --> 00:57:55,100 Never will you fret again! Bid your humdrum life farewell! 720 00:57:55,100 --> 00:57:58,280 Can I really become Ultraman?! 721 00:57:58,280 --> 00:57:59,650 That you can. 722 00:58:00,240 --> 00:58:01,810 Me, really? 723 00:58:02,360 --> 00:58:06,720 Don the mask! Don the mask! Don the mask! 724 00:58:11,530 --> 00:58:12,640 Hey, wait! 725 00:58:13,900 --> 00:58:15,960 Whoa! 726 00:58:18,610 --> 00:58:19,970 Who's there?! 727 00:58:20,300 --> 00:58:21,920 Whoa! 728 00:58:22,470 --> 00:58:24,680 What are you doing here?! 729 00:58:25,960 --> 00:58:28,720 Hey, what's the big idea here?! 730 00:58:35,500 --> 00:58:36,540 Watch out! 731 00:58:40,360 --> 00:58:42,680 Take it down, come on! 732 00:58:45,320 --> 00:58:47,270 Knock it down! 733 00:58:59,500 --> 00:59:01,120 SHUWATCH! 734 00:59:21,070 --> 00:59:24,590 Crescent Moon Killing Arts...! 735 00:59:25,960 --> 00:59:29,060 Confetti Maker! {Note} 736 00:59:25,960 --> 00:59:30,260 TL Note: A bit of a play on words—'confetti' (kamifubuki) sounds similar to 'divine blizzard' (kami-fubuki). {TL Note} 737 01:00:23,280 --> 01:00:25,470 This bastard...! 738 01:00:26,950 --> 01:00:29,470 Let go of me, you punk! 739 01:00:31,480 --> 01:01:45,460 Subbed by: LonelyChaser Fansubs Project Manager: MartyMcflies Scanned by: Kineko Video Timing & Translation: purpleparrotkin TLC: Japanese Hoarder A special thanks to Windii for assisting with some lines. Thanks for watching! 57357

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