All language subtitles for blackadder.s02e06.1080p.bluray.x264-stories

(TH EME MUSIC P LAYI N G)

Get out! Get out, li bid i nous swi ne !

Ta ke that whore, slut,
pa i nted stru m pet with you !

May you both rot i n the fi lth
of you r own forn ication !

And what d id you say to h i m?

Say, mada m? I sa id noth i ng .

I si m ply pu lled u p my tig hts
a nd j u m ped out of the privy wi ndow.

Oh, Ed m u nd, you ' re so na ug hty.

Well, I try, mada m .

Then 10 m i n utes later when
I've got my breath back, I try aga i n .

Perha ps now we ca n tu rn
to more i m porta nt matters of state.

-Must we?
-I fea r so, ma 'a m .

It's a trag ic case.

My old tutor, Lord Forest,
h is son has been kid na pped

a nd he begs you to help
h i m pay the ra nsom .

Ed m u nd, what wou ld you say?

Well, as you know, Mada m,

I have had experience
of th is d readfu l situation .

On ly last yea r, my a u nt begged for help
with the ra nsom of my U ncle Osrick.

Well, then you know someth i ng

-of the d readfu l pa i n i nvolved?
-Indeed, I do,

a nd ca n suggest no better a nswer
tha n the one I gave to her.

Wh ich was?

Get stuffed .

Blackadder, you wou ld jest
over a you ng ma n 's life?

For you ng ma n, read you ng id iot!

Look, a nyone stu pid enoug h to let
some moustach ioed dago

come u p to them i n a corridor

say, " Excuse me, meester",

a nd h it them over the head
with a big stick

deserves everyth i ng they get.

Oh, hello.
You ' re i n good fooli ng th is morn i ng .

Ah, tha n k you, Ba ld rick.

I hea rd q u ite a n a m usi ng story myself,
the other day.

Oh good .

Excuse me, meister.

Yes, what is it?

(TH U DS)

I sa id, "What is it?"
N ot, " H it me ha rd on the head with a . . . "

Melch ie, I've com pletely cha nged my m i nd
a bout that Forest bloke.

I mea n, he's obviously very stu pid,
but we ca n 't go ' rou nd

pu n ish i ng people for that, ca n we?

Certa i n ly not, ma 'a m .

If we went a rou nd pu n ish i ng people
for bei ng stu pid,

N u rsie wou ld have been i n prison
a ll her life.

A very piq ua nt observation, Majesty.

So I wi ll sig n th is ra nsom,
but it m ust be the last.

Absolutely the last.

Fi na l. Fu ll stop.

N ever aga i n .

Cross my hea rt a nd hope to d ie.

Su rely not, " H ope to d ie", Majesty?

Er. . . All rig ht. I' ll cross it out.

Erm . . . H ere you a re.
Sorry a bout the sm udge.

Tha n k you, ma 'a m !

- Excuse me, meister.
-Yes?

(TH U DS)

Oh, God ! God !

What on ea rth was I d ri n ki ng last n ig ht?

My head feels li ke there's
a French ma n livi ng i n it.

Where a m I?

-Oh !
-Who's that?

-It is I, Melchett.
-Melchett!

You rea lly oug ht to get th is house
of you rs clea ned u p, you know.

It's a rea l mess.

Th is is no ti me for jokes, Blackadder.
We've been kid na pped !

Oh, God, how i ncred i bly em ba rrassi ng .

As private pa rts to the gods a re we,
they play with us for thei r sport!

(GUARD LAUG HI N G)

Oh, God ! Who's that?

(S P EAKI N G S PANIS H )

J ust wa it a m i n ute, if a nyone
is goi ng to be spoken to a rou nd here,

it's gon na be me, a ll rig ht?
Tell h i m, Melch ie.

Certa i n ly! (S P EAKS S PANIS H )

(S P EAKI N G S PANIS H )

Ah, that's better.

N ow, what's he sayi ng?

- H e says he wou ld li ke a word with you .
-U h-h u h . Anyth i ng else?

Yes, he says he wou ld li ke
to tortu re you, as well.

Rig ht, now a m I by a ny cha nce,

add ressi ng a sen ior d ig n ita ry
of the Spa n ish Inq u isition?

(S P EAKI N G S PANIS H )

Good . Beca use if I a m,
I wish to ma ke it q u ite clea r

that I a m prepa red
to tell you a bsolutely a nyth i ng .

(S P EAKS S PANIS H )

N o spea ko dago.

I dema nd to see
the British a m bassador, u ndersta nd?

(S P EAKS S PANIS H )

Oh, for God 's sa ke.

H ow ca n you q uestion me
if you don 't spea k Eng lish?

(S P EAKS S PANIS H )

All rig ht, let's sta rt with the basics.

Eng lish is a non-i nflected,
Indo- Eu ropea n la ng uage

derived from d ia lects...

H ow's that?

Percy. Who's q ueen?

Whoops! Butterfi ngers!

-Ah, so I wi n aga i n !
-Yes. Well done, You r Majesty!

And there's defi n itely been
no sig n of Ed m u nd?

I fea r not, ma 'a m .

Well then, he's va n ished .

Si m ply va n ished .

Li ke a n old oa k ta ble.

Va n ished, Lord Percy. N ot va rn ished .

Forg ive me, My Lady,

but my u ncle Bertra m 's
old oa k ta ble com pletely va n ished .

'Twas on the n ig ht
of the Great Stepney Fi re.

And on that sa me terri ble n ig ht

h is house a nd a ll h is other th i ngs
com pletely va n ished too.

So d id he, i n fact!

'Twas a most perplexi ng mystery.

- Lord Percy?
-Yes?

It's u p to you . (CLEARS TH ROAT)

Either you ca n sh ut u p,

or you ca n have you r head cut off.

I' ll sh ut u p.

Bastardol

Bas-ta r-do.

Ba rrister?

Bastardol

Em ba rrassi ng?

You ' re em ba rrassi ng?
I' m em ba rrassed?

Er. . . Rogeri ng !

Er. . . Preg na nt.

Ba by, ba by.

Bathwater.

-Sou nds li ke. . . Basta rd ! Oh, basta rd !
-Sil

-No has terminadol
-Ah .

Hijol

Hijol

Don key.

- (S P EAKS S PANIS H )
- Big basta rd, little basta rd .

- (GUARD SI N GI N G)
-Ma n? Boy? Ma n, father...

Son ! I' m a basta rd 's son !

DiPerra. (PANTS LI KE A DOG)

Th i rsty basta rd .

(BARKI N G)

Th i rsty ba rki ng basta rd .

Oh, dog ! Dog !

Woma n, dog .

Woma n, dog . . . Bitch !

-I' m a basta rd son of a bitch !
-Sil

In that case,
you a re a forn icati ng ba boon !

Que?

Oh dea r! You ...

-Tu? Oh, yol
-Yea h, yo.

A forn icati ng ...

Yes, I ca n 't rea lly do it i n th is box.

Tus testiculos...

My er. . . Ah, yes, those. Yes.

Sobre un fuego grande.

-Over a la rge. . .
-Fuego, fuegol

Fi re ! Ah, good . Rig ht.

So, let's reca p.

-If I ad m it that I' m i n love. . .
- N o ! N o !

Sorry, head over heels i n love

with Sata n a nd a ll h is little wiza rds,

then you wi ll remove
my testicles with a blu nt i nstru ment...

Una guadanal

Resem bli ng some ki nd of
ga rden i ng tool but we ca n 't q u ite...

-And roast them over a la rge fi re.
-Sil Sil

Whereas if I don 't ad m it

that I a m i n love with Sata n
a nd a ll h is little wiza rds,

you wi ll hold me u pside down,
i n a vat of wa rm ma rma lade.

Sil

And remove my testicles
with a blu nt i nstru ment.

Oh, I see.

Well, i n that case. . .
I love Sata n .

(GUARD YELLI N G)

Oh, it's a scythe !

I don 't know.
I've looked everywhere !

Perha ps

they' re not

h id i ng

at a ll.

Perha ps, they've been kid na pped !

N onsense !

As Ed m u nd sa id,
on ly rea l id iots get kid na pped .

Do they?

Stop! (WHI P PI N G)

(SCREAMS)

Forg ive me, Herr Blackadder.

I have been neg lecti ng
my d uties as a host.

Please accept my a pple-og ies.

I accept noth i ng from a ma n
who i m prisons h is g uests i n a com mode.

I hope th is scu m ...

(WHIMP ERS)

... has not i nconwen ienced you .

It ta kes more tha n a ma n iac
tryi ng to cut off my goolies

to i nconwen ience me !

Good, if he had i nconwen ienced you,

I was goi ng to offer you h is tong ue.

Believe me, si r. If he had
i nconwen ienced me

you wou ld not have a tong ue
with wh ich to ma ke such a n offer.

Let me assu re you,
Herr Blackadder,

if I no longer had a tong ue
with wh ich to ma ke such a n offer,

you wou ld no longer have
a tong ue with wh ich to tell me

that if I had i nconwen ienced you

I wou ld no longer have a tong ue
with wh ich to offer you h is tong ue.

Yes, well, enoug h of th is ba nter.

Who the hell a re you, sa usage breath?

You do not remem ber me then,
Herr Blackadder?

I don 't believe I've had the pleasu re.

Oh, on the contra ry,
we have met ma ny ti mes.

Althoug h you knew me
by a nother na me.

Do you reca ll a mysterious
black ma rketeer a nd sm ugg Ier ca lled Otto

with whom you used to d i ne, a nd plot,

a nd play the biscu it ga me
at the Old Pizzle i n Dover?

My God !

Yes! I was the wa itress.

I don 't believe it!
You, Big Sa lly?

(FALS ETTO) Wi ll you have
a nother piece of pie, My Lord?

But I went to bed with you, d id n 't I?

For my cou ntry,
I a m wi lli ng to ma ke a ny sacrifice.

Yes, but I' m not.
I m ust have been pa ra lytic.

Indeed, you were, Mr Floppy.

Yes, a ll rig ht. All rig ht.

N ow, wou ld you m i nd ...

(FALS ETTO) Such a d isa ppoi ntment
for a g i rl.

Yes, a ll rig ht.
You 've had you r little joke.

(FALS ETTO) It rea lly doesn 't matter.
We' ll try aga i n i n a few m i n utes.

Have a look th roug h these
na ug hty pa rch ments.

Yes, we a re proud of ou r
com ic-servi ng wench voice, a ren 't we?

J ust beca use you ca n say,
"Zi r, " i nstead of, "Si r, "

assu mes that a ll socia l
gatheri ngs have a ted ious little tu rd

-who keeps putti ng on a m usi ng voices.
- (REGU LAR VOICE) Be q u iet!

What else have you got

i n you r astou nd i ng ly
i nventive repertoi re, I wonder?

A bri llia nt, d ru n k Glasweg ia n,
no dou bt.

A h i la rious black ma n?

"See you, J i m my!
Where a m dat watty-melon?"

Oh, fa bu lous!

I ca n 't wa it
for you r side-splitti ng poof,

a nd that fu n ny little croa ky one

that isn 't a nyone i n pa rticu la r,
but is such a screa m .

And most of a ll,
I li ke the one you do a ll the ti me,

the fat-headed Germa n
cha m ber pot sta nd i ng i n front of me !

You know,
you ta lk too m uch, Blackadder!

I th i n k it's a case of werba l d ia rrhoea
that you ' re havi ng, h m m?

I shou ld perha ps tell you
that I have g iven the Queen on ly a week

to reply to my ra nsom dema nd .

U n less she pays u p,
you d ie, howi bly.

She wi ll pay u p.

And then with i n a week,
you d ie, howi bly howi bly.

You fi nd you rself a m usi ng, Blackadder?

I try not to fly i n the face
of pu blic opi n ion .

You know,
I th i n k that i n a week from now,

you ' ll be less i n the mood
for bei ng a m usi ng .

At least when I a m i n the mood
I ca n be a m usi ng .

Then choose you r next witticism
ca refu lly, Herr Blackadder,

it may be you r last.

Gua rds! Fetch h is friend .

(GUARDS YELLI N G I N G ERMAN )

N o, please ! N o.

(YELLS)

Lord Melchett, we meet aga i n .

N o, I don 't th i n k
we've had the pleasu re.

You don 't recog n ise me, then?

N o.

Let me refresh you r memory.

You remem ber, when you were i n
Cornwa ll, at the monastery,

there was a n old shepherd
with whom you used to ta lk.

Good Lord ! Di m ki ns?

Yes! I was one of h is sheep.

-Sheep? N ot. . .
-Yes!

- Flossie? But d id n 't we. . .
-Yes, Lord Melchett!

(BAAI N G)

Oh, my God !

But enoug h of such pleasa nt
rem i n iscences, eh?

The g ua rd has fou nd a n i nteresti ng
docu ment i n you r cloth i ng .

Oh, I shou ld n 't pay
m uch attention to that if I were you .

The q ueen says that she wi ll
" pay on ly one ra nsom,

" but it m ust be the last,
a bsolutely the last,

"fi na l, fu ll stop, never aga i n,

"cross my hea rt a nd hope to be
spa n ked u nti l my bottom goes pu rple. "

She has a d ifficu lt choice
i n front of her, has she not?

N ot rea lly! Bad luck, Melch ie !
Sti ll, life, overrated, I reckon .

Yes, gentlemen, if you ' ll excuse me,
I have work to do.

Evi l plots don 't j ust ma ke themselves,
you know.

(LAUG HI N G)

(GUARD LAUG HI N G)

" Dea r Kveen,

"I, evi l Pri nce Ludwig
the Indestructi ble,

" have you r two friends,

"a nd you m ust shoes between them .

"The ra nsom is one m i llion kroner.

"Ma ny, ma ny a pple-og ies
for the i nconwen ience. "

My good ness!
What a d ifficu lt choice !

But it isn 't the fi rst d ifficu lt choice

you 've ever had to ma ke,
my little tad pole?

- N o, that's true.
-You know,

i n the old days
it was a ll d ifficu lt choices.

Shou ld you have N u rsie m i lk
or moo-cow m i lk?

Of cou rse, it was a lways N u rsie m i lk.

But then, left breasty
d u m pli ng or rig ht breasty d u m pli ng?

Of cou rse,
it was a lways both breasty d u m pli ngs.

Ah, but then wh ich one fi rst?

Sh ut u p, N u rsie !

Good ness.
Th is is very confusi ng !

Lord Percy, play a wh i le
to ca lm my spi rits.

Certa i n ly, ma 'a m .

Pat-a-ca ke, pat-a-ca ke,
ba ker's ma n .

Ha ha ! You ' re it!
Ri ng-a-ri ng-a-rosie ! All fa ll down !

What say you, Blackadder,
I si ng a song to keep ou r spi rits u p?

That a ll depends whether you wa nt
the slop bucket over you r head or not.

Well, perha ps some pleasa nt word ga me?

Yes, a ll rig ht.

Ma ke a sentence out of
the followi ng words,

face, sodd i ng, you r, sh ut.

For God 's sa ke, ma n !

We m ust do someth i ng
to relieve ou r m i nds

of the terri ble fate wh ich awa its us!

- (SO B BI N G)
-Awa its you, Melch ie, not me.

H ow's my bea rd looki ng?

Alas, sha ll I never see Eng la nd more?

H er rolli ng fields,
her swoopi ng swa llows...

And her playtu l sheep.

(DOO R O P ENS)

Ah, a bout ti me too !

Gentlemen, the a nswer has a rrived .

Tha n k God ! I' m sick of th is.

The cond itions a re j ust d isg racefu l!
Why, it's li ke a prison i n here !

I sha ll read it to you .

Typica l master cri m i na l,
loves the sou nd of h is own voice.

After long
a nd very ca refu l deli beration,

the Qveen has decided
to expend the ra nsom money on ...

A big pa rty.

J ust i m possi ble
to decide between my two faves.

So, I've decided to keep the cash,

have a wizzy-jolly ti me,

a nd try to forget both of you .

H ope you ' re not too m iffed .

Bye-ee !

What?

" H ope you ' re not too m iffed .
Bye-ee. "

As you ca n i mag i ne,
my friends, th is ma kes me very u n ha ppy.

Oh, I a m sorry.

But if you gentlemen were
to tell me a way to, let us say,

ga i n access to you r q ueen,

I m ig ht j ust be a ble to
com m ute you r deaths to a life sentence.

Are you suggesti ng we betray her?

Oh, yes!

All rig ht!

Blackadder, what a re you sayi ng?
What of loya lty, honou r, self-respect?

What of them?

N oth i ng .

So you wi ll both play ba ll?

BOTH : Yep!

Oh, what joy!

See how you colla pse before me,

you g reat a nd i ncorru pti ble
Eng lish knobs.

So proud of you r g reat big
stiff u pper li ps, h m m?

Gloati ng is a sig n of i nsecu rity,
Ludwig, stop it.

N ow, do you wa nt to know how
to get to the Queen or not?

Yes. I thoug ht some
ki nd of d isg u ise.

You know, I do a very good
Ma ry Queen of Scots!

(I N WOMAN 'S VOICE)
H oots mon ! Where's ma heed?

What sort of pa rty shou ld it be?

Oh, fa ncy d ress.
I love fa ncy d ress!

N u rsie?

I th i n k it shou ld be one of those ones

where everybody comes
with noth i ng on at a ll.

Sh ut u p, then .

I ag ree with you,
acti ng Lord Cha m berla i n .

If we' re rea lly
goi ng to forget ou r woes,

we shou ld have as m uch fu n as possi ble.

And what cou ld be more fu n tha n a pa rty
where people come d ressed as

frogs, a nd ra bbit, a nd n u ns?

And bits of wood .

You ' re not goi ng to come
as a bit of wood .

-Aren 't I?
- N o !

Oh .

Well, how a bout a penci l, then?
Shou ld I come as a penci l?

Don 't be si lly, N u rsie.

You a lways ta lk li ke th is

a nd you a lways end u p
com i ng as the sa me th i ng .

- Do I?
-Yes. You know. . . Everybo...

Lassie,

what does N u rsie a lways come
to fa ncy d ress pa rties d ressed as?

-I thoug ht everybody knew.
-Yes, everybody a ppa rently,

except N u rsie. Tell her!

She a lways comes as a cow.

Yes, that's rig ht!

A lovely, lovely cow,
with g reat big lovely udders!

Swi ng i ng a rou nd goi ng "Moo" .

Come to N u rsie cow, you lovely heifers.
Oh, yes, what fu n !

I wa nt to be a cow aga i n, please?

Sh ut u p! Isn 't N u rsie stu pid?

She certa i n ly is, ma 'a m !

(LAUG HI N G)

You see !

We' re havi ng a good ti me a lready!

We've com pletely forgotten
a bout those cha ps i n prison, haven 't we?

What cha ps?

(ALL LAUG HI N G)

- (GUARDS S P EAKI N G G ERMAN )
- (DOO R O P ENS)

My friends, I've come
to bid you fa rewell.

These g ua rds wi ll ewentua lly
d ie of old age,

but thei r sons wi ll attend
to you r needs!

Tha n k you for you r concern,
but, i n fact, we i ntend to esca pe.

With you r i nformation, gentlemen,

I i ntend to bri ng down
you r q ueen a nd cou ntry.

The master of d isg u ise
wi ll become the master of the world !

(LAUG HI N G)

-One th i ng, Ludwig, j ust before you go.
-What?

Were you ever bu llied at school?

What do you mea n?

All th is ra nti ng a nd ravi ng a bout power,
there m ust be some reason for it.

N onsense ! At my school,

havi ng d i rty ha i r a nd spots
was a sig n of matu rity.

I thoug ht so !

And I bet you r mother
made you wea r shorts

rig ht u p ti ll you r fi na l yea r!

Sh ut u p! Sh ut u p!

When I a m ki ng of Eng la nd,
no one wi ll ever da re ca ll me

Shorty-Greasy-Spot-Spot aga i n !

Touched a nerve there,
I th i n k!

What good is it goi ng to do us

if we' re doomed to rot here
u nti l we d ie?

- Don 't worry. I've got a pla n .
- Rea lly?

Yes. N ow that Ludwig 's gone,

we shou ld have no trou ble
overcom i ng the g ua rds.

Germa ns a re sticklers for efficiency
a nd I've been watch i ng thei r routi ne.

I've selected the moment
when they a re at thei r most vu Inera ble.

That is when we wi ll attack.

- Bri llia nt! H ow?
-That is the most cu n n i ng bit!

(GUARDS S H OUTI N G I N G ERMAN )

Rig ht, now th is is it!

Don 't forget,
when they a re at thei r most vu Inera ble.

GUARDS: Ha lt! J i ng le the keys!

(KEYS JI N G LE)

GUARDS: Open the door!

BOTH : Greeti ngs to the prisoners.

(S P EAKI N G G ERMAN ) . . . Eng lish scu m .

Ma rch to the ta ble !

(S P EAKI N G G ERMAN )

Ha lt!

Food on ze ta ble !

(S P EAKI N G G ERMAN )

Spit on ze food !

(S P EAKI N G G ERMAN )

Insu lti ng fa rewell gestu re
to the prisoners!

(S P EAKI N G G ERMAN )

- N ow!
-Ooh !

Trust me to get the ha rd one !

Yo-ho-ho !
Off with thei r heads!

Ma 'a m, it is bri llia nt!

You r father is born aga i n !

I bloody well hope not,
or else I won 't be q ueen a ny more.

You rs is pretty good too.
What is it?

It's noth i ng, ma 'a m !
J ust a mere trifle I th rew together.

Doesn 't look m uch li ke a trifle.

More li ke a fru it sa lad to me.

I see N u rsie's rea lly
excelled herself!

(MOOI N G)

Yes. She has!

H m m . I' m not su re a bout th is, thoug h .

What a re you mea nt to be?

A penci l case.

Yes!

Oh ! It's j ust li ke pa rties
I had when I was ti ny.

We had tea a nd ca kes a nd ven ison .

And then a tri p with a cou ple
of little friends to the executions.

H ow sweet.

If I wa nted a ny of my
little friends executed, that is.

Oh ! H ow I do wish
Ed m u nd cou ld be here !

H e a lways loved pa rties.

And a lways, a lways wore very,
very tig ht tig hts.

Ed m u nd who?

Ed m u nd Blackadder! Majesty.

-Oh, Ed m u nd ! But. . . Oh !
- Did you ever know me to m iss a pa rty?

But what a bout Lord Melchett?

Yes. U nfortu nately, ma 'a m,
he made it too.

Ra ptu re !

Joy beyond measu re !

Bliss wh ich ca n not be cou nted
on one's fi ngers!

Oh !

(BAAI N G)

Sorry, Ed m u nd?

N oth i ng .

Yes. Erm ...

U nfortu nately, a pa rt from
my nose getti ng a little prettier,

noth i ng m uch has cha nged a rou nd here.

You r a n i ma l sti ll isn 't
house tra i ned .

Percy's sti ll u nem ployed,

a nd N u rsie's one stick short
of a bu nd le.

(MOOI N G)

Ah, yes. Tha n k you for
rem i nd i ng me.

(YELLS)

N u rsie ! You 've ki lled N u rsie !

That's horrid .

Gua rds! Ta ke h i m away a nd execute h i m !

H e's ki lled N u rsie.

Ca n a nyone help me with my udders?

- N u rsie !
-Yes.

Yes! And may I i ntrod uce
ou r erstwh i le ca ptor,

Pri nce Ludwig the Indestructi ble !

(ALL GAS P)

Ah ! Queen Eliza beth !
We meet aga i n !

Er, no, I don 't th i n k so actua lly.

Yes, do you remem ber
when you were you ng,

you r father used to ta ke you rid i ng
on a mag n ificent g rey pony

that you used to kiss a nd fond le
i n the sta ble ya rd?

I was the ta ll a nd attractive
Germa n sta ble lad who held h i m .

- N o !
-Yes!

-You?
-U h-h u h .

-Shorty-Greasy-Spot-Spot?
- N o !

N o, no, no !

You wi ll a ll of you reg ret the day
that you ever mocked my com plexion !

I sha ll retu rn a nd vrea k my rewengee !

(LAUG HS MANIACAL)

N o, you won 't.
You wi ll d ie a nd be bu ried !

(LU DWIG SCREAMS)

ALL: H ooray!

Stra nge ma n .

But how d id you know it was h i m?

Th is was the i nformation
with wh ich we boug ht ou r lives.

We told h i m that if the Queen
was havi ng a pa rty,

that N u rsie a lways goes as a cow.

From that moment, he was doomed .

All we had to do was esca pe,
retu rn, a nd ki ll the cow.

H ow cou ld you be su re
it was not N u rsie?

Beca use, lady, Ludwig was
a master of d isg u ise,

whereas N u rsie is a sad,
i nsa ne old woma n with a n udder fixation .

All we had to do was ki ll
the one that looked li ke the cow!

That was the m ista ke
I knew that Ludwig wou ld ma ke.

H is d isg u ise was too good .

Gosh, Ed m u nd ! H ow bri llia nt!
Welcome home !

Well, I m ust say, ma 'a m,
it's good to be back.

Welcome, Ed m u nd ! Did you ...

Miss me?

I certa i n ly d id .

Ma ny was the ti me, Percy,
I sa id to myself,

"I wish Percy was here. . . "

P ERCY: Oh !

" . . . Bei ng tortu red i nstead of me ! "

Oh, we have m issed you r wit!

Did you m iss me, My Lord?

- Erm . . . Ba ld rick, is it?
-That's rig ht.

N o, not rea lly.

And me?

Did you m iss me, Ed m u nd?

Mada m, life without you is li ke

a broken penci l.

Expla i n .

Poi ntless.

(TH EME MUSIC P LAYI N G)

Beware all evil Iust for fame

The Path of Iife is most uncertain

Prince Ludwig thought
he 'd won the game

But now the Kraut's
gone for a burton

BIackadder, BIackadder

He beats the Hun by Iuck

BIackadder, BIackadder

He 's smarter than a duck

Lord elchett, Lord elchett

Intelligent and deeP

Lord elchett, Lord elchett

A shame about the sheeP

(LU DWIG'S VOICE) Ha ha ha !

N ow th is is a d isg u ise
I' m rea lly goi ng to enjoy.

If I ca n j ust get the voice rig ht.