All language subtitles for Sirens.2014.S02E10.Balls.720p.WEB-DL.DD5.1.H.264-QUEENS.eng

(Billy)
It's gotta to happen, T.

You and Johnny got to double
date with me and Maeve.

It'd just be so much fun.

Johnny, Billy, and the
Kelly girls, out on the town.

Got to happen.

Honestly, Johnny just isn't
the double date kind of dude.

You know what?
I'm gonna reach out to him.

Make my case.

- All right.
- I'm not gonna let up, T.

[phone chimes]

(Hank)
Oh, it's Billy.

He wants to get
you guys to double date

with him and Maeve.

I'll tell him you're
free this Saturday?

Yeah, right.

Free to never go on
a double date.

- Oh, I love double dating.
- I don't. I hate it.

Sitting around some restaurant
I don't want to be at

talking about other
people's shit?

No.

So I should just ignore it?

Yeah, it's one of the perks
of being the driver.

People don't expect you
to text back.

Mm. Mm-hmm.

- I would expect a text back.
- I would also.

Hmm?

- Nothing.
- Nothing.

[hip-hop music]

♪ ♪

Johnny hasn't hit me back,

but he's driving, so I'm sure
he'll get at me.

Oh, I'm sure.

All right, I'm coming at you
from another direction.

Something active.

We could rent bikes.

We could kayak
on the river.

We could play tennis.

Why is it so
important to you?

Because I can't stand
to see the way

that you and Maeve
don't get along.

She's your sister.

You should be hanging out
all the time.

It's okay, Billy.

This is me and Maeve's
problem, not yours.

Then why does it
eat me alive?

I don't know.

I do, T.

Because one day we
all gonna be 50 years old,

and you and Maeve
are gonna hate each other

and you and Johnny
are never gonna visit us.

Then one day, our kids are gonna
pass each other on the street.

You know what they're gonna do?

- What?
- Nothing.

They're just gonna
keep on walking

because they won't know
each other, T.

Okay, okay, okay!

I'll talk to Johnny,
and, I, you know...

I'll see if he wants
to play tennis.

He likes tennis.

Yeah, dog.
See?

All right, I can get us into
the Lakeshore Tennis Club.

What, don't you have to be
a member to get in there?

Nah, my cousin Bebo
can hook it up.

He's the head locker room
attendant there.

He can get us a court

whenever we want.
- Hmm!

Ain't nobody there
gonna mess with Bebo.

Towels is where
the power's at, T.

[hip-hop music]

Honestly, I think you got off
pretty easy on this one, John.

Yeah,
I can live with tennis

as a one-time thing.

It'll get Billy
off Theresa's back,

and I get to whoop
some ass on the court.

Oh, I love
cocky Johnny.

Yeah, you do.

[phone ringing]

Hey, can you all give me
some privacy, please?

- Nope.
- No.

Fine.

Hey, baby.

- Hey, baby.
- Hey, baby.

(Cash) Yes, sugar, I
got him right here.

Your mama wants a word.

Hey, Mama.

- Hey, Mama.
- Hey, Mama.

Can you two grow up
and go wash the rig?

What's going on?

Did you see the game D. Rose
had last night?

Oh, that boy,
he had a triple double.

He's resurrecting himself
like my Lord and Savior.

Did you know that D Rose and I,
we have the same birthday?

If you know of anyone
thinking of getting

D Rose something special,
they better start shopping soon.

Mama, you already invited me
to dinner that night.

I am not going to forget
your birthday.

Not now.

[laughs]

I'll see you on
my very special day.

Okay, Mama, I'm gonna
hand you back to Cash.

Hey, baby.

I love you too.

Bye.

Happy day before your birthday.

You know I love your mom,
right?

But I don't get why adults
make such a big deal

about their birthday.

- It's weird.
- I know.

I mean, maybe the milestones,
but 57?

Come on.

I could not disagree
with this viewpoint more,

so I'm going
to recuse myself.

(Hank) And it's like no
matter what I get her,

it's always somehow
not good enough.

I'm sure that's not true.

Oh, no, she makes
her displeasure very clear.

"Oh, it's a fine present,
Henry,

especially considering
how busy you are."

I mean, it's not like
I don't try.

Last year I got her an iPad,

downloaded all those
Terry McMillan romances

she loves so much.

She never even took it
out of the box.

(Brian) If she's not
gonna use that, Hank,

I'm willing to offer
20 cents on the dollar.

Just saying.

Shit, man, I'll help you
find a gift for her.

I'm a genius at
buying women presents.

You know what, she loved
the shit out that

Christmas present
you bought for her.

Why don't you just
pick something up?

I'll pay you back.

Now you know what
I'm gonna say, don't you?

- No.
- What am I always

- talking about?
- Vietnam.

- Besides that.
- Fish?

Yes, what's the saying
about fishing?

It's boring as hell?

If you give a man a fish,
he eats for a day.

If you teach a man to fish,
he eats forever.

Does that make
any sense to you, son?

I honestly don't remember
what you're talking about.

(woman) Ambulance needed
5016 east Churchill.

Woman in labor.

Oh, my gosh, oh, my gosh.

I need this one.
I need this one.

All right, buddy, all right.
Ambulance 14 responding.

Yes!
Johnny, would you hand me

- my bucket list, please?
- I don't know where it is.

It's in the rig.

Brian, that baby
is not a toy.

Hi, she's in the
living room.

Oh, okay.
Oh, here we are.

Oh, thank God you guys
are here.

Okay, I just have
to pack a few things.

Okay, where's my
phone charger?

Honey, you're doing
so great.

I really think we should
stick to our birth plan.

Your birth plan,
my vagina.

Okay? Yeah.
Okay, can you guys go ahead

and call the hospital
and tell them

that I just
need an epidural?

Well, we'll get you
to the hospital,

and the doctors will hook you
up with whatever drugs you want.

I want it all,
whatever they got, okay?

My grandma says that they used
to just knock you out,

and then you just wake up
with a baby.

That's--I want--
I would like that, please.

I am so sick of all this
hippie birth shit.

Wow, Liz.
That really hurts.

Does it, Heidi?

Does it--does it--
does it hurt?

Are you hurting right now?

Okay, that was
a poor choice of words.

I think what I mean is
that I am disappointed.

Okay, are you the midwife?

Yeah, she's having
irregular contractions,

and she's been stuck
at 5 centimeters

for the last three hours.

All right. Ow.

(Liz)
Oh, shit.

Shit, shit, shit,
shitty, shit, shit.

Dicks!
- Liz, if I could just remind--

Shut your stupid
bitch mouth, Heidi.

I swear to God I'm gonna
punch you in your face.

Okay, I think we all need
to get our heads wrapped

around the fact that Liz

is going to the hospital.
- Yeah.

Liz, wait, what if the doctors
make you have a c-section?

If I had a knife right now, I'd
just cut it out myself, okay?

- Wow, dark, dark.
- [whispers] Yeah. Yeah.

[groans]

Shitty, shit, shit Christ tits,

shit Christ tits,
shit Christ tits.

Well, at least she finally
chose a mantra, I guess.

Here we go.

Okay, put the pedal down, boys.
Here we go.

Here we go.

So we're gonna be taking her
to City if you want to come by.

Sorry it didn't work out.

Happens half the time, so...

Yeah, no, we can actually
leave that.

Yeah, you can leave that.

Okay. Here we go.

Take Damen.
It's got bike lanes.

- Okay.
- Have a blessed.

You have a blessed.

Damn it.

(Liz) Shit Christ tits,
shit Christ tits,

shit Christ tits!

Whoo!

Okay, we'll be
there soon.

I can't believe
how much pain is involved

in bringing a child
into the world.

Your mom deserves a really good
birthday present, Hank.

You got to get her
something good.

You don't get your mom
good presents?

I try.
She's never satisfied.

Oh! Try harder!

Cash said he's really good
at buying gifts.

Why not take his help?

I don't want to go
shopping with Cash.

Then you and I can go.
We'll hit up Michaels.

We'll make her something
from the heart.

It doesn't cost an arm
and a leg, huh?

What do you say?

Hey, Cash,
you still want to help me

buy my mom
a birthday present?

Who wants to take
my shift tomorrow?

You know I want it.

Thanks, Cash.

Pick me up at
10:00 tomorrow.

- Yes, sir.
- 10:30.

- Okay.
- Make it an even 11:00.

11:00.

Solid time to shop.

(Theresa)
Hey, guys.

- Hey.
- Hey.

(Johnny)
Damn, Billy.

You dress like you can play.
Can you?

Guess we'll just have
to wait and see, bro.

Can you?

Guess we'll just have
to wait and see, bro.

I like what's
happening here.

Maeve, you've never played
tennis in your life.

How do you have
an entire tennis outfit?

How do you not?

(Johnny) Okay, you guys
need to know one thing.

There's a strict
no cursing policy here.

Yeah, this place is classy,
so don't be assholes.

Okay, so when I play
with my cousin Bebo,

we like to use
substitute words.

If I need to say
the shit word,

I say shish kebab 'cause
it's fun to say and it's tasty.

Shish kebab.

If I need to drop an F bomb,

I say Fran Tarkenton

because he was a crafty
quarterback who was too small,

but he did not give a Fran...

- Tarkenton.
- Tarkenton.

- You feel me?
- I feel you.

- Let's do this.
- Let's do this.

- Okay.
- We're gonna

- Fran Tarkenton them up.
- Shit.

(Brian) I can't believe you
let me sit two-chair, Stats.

I mean, you're next
in line in succession.

You don't have to sit
in the bucket.

I call it center chair.

I like it better this way.

You get to be in the center
of everything.

So do I have all
the two-chair privileges, or...

We don't call it two-chair,
Brian, but enjoy.

Dispatch, this is Brian Czyk.

I'm gonna be sitting two-chair
in rig 1 today,

so don't be alarmed if you hear
my voice instead of Cash's.

Also, just a heads up--

be trying out
some new call responses.

For instance, instead
of saying something like,

"Ambulance 1 responding,"

I'm gonna throw
something at you like,

"Ambo numero uno
responder."

I don't know,
just go with it.

(woman) Please keep this line
clear for emergencies only.

Comprende.
Lo siento, mi amor.

Hey, where do you guys
want to eat today?

Oh, it's Saturday,
so we have to have tacos.

Why?

Cash isn't here.
We can do whatever we want.

Oh, we can finally try
that vegan diner.

Oh, jeez, Johnny and Hank
would never go there.

Freedom is in
the air, kids.

I'm coming for you, quinoa.

When you said 11:00,

I thought you would have
already eaten.

You can't shop
on a empty stomach.

It leads to
hasty decisions.

Besides, you got
somewhere to be?

- Yeah, um...
- Wrong!

When you're buying
a present for someone,

you got to give it
the whole day.

This day is as much for your
mama as her actual birthday.

Wait, so now I got
this whole day,

her actual birthday day,

plus the day after
her birthday day

to talk about how great
her birthday day was.

Listen, man,
that's who your mama is.

And that's the first rule
of buying gifts.

You buy for the person
you're buying for.

Don't buy for the person
you want them to be.

Your mama don't want
no damn Kindle.

It was an iPad.

We're paperback people,
son.

Rule number two,

listen, watch, observe.

Besides you, what is it that
your mom likes to talk about?

Um...Jesus.

Yes! And...

also begins with a J.

Sparkles...

Jewelry.

Bingo!
[laughs]

Now where do you think that
those two things intersect?

Here we come.

[Theresa grunts]

(Theresa)
Nice.

Winner, snitch.

Don't try to slice
my topspin, rook.

Don't try and slice
his topspin.

- It can't be done, baby.
- It can't be done.

Shut up, Maeve--you're not
even hitting the ball.

Why didn't you tell me
this guy was this good?

Would it have made
a difference?

Yeah, I would've
stretched more.

What do you think
about this one?

It's gaudy as hell.

Okay, close your eyes.

Close your eyes and picture
your mom wearing it.

Oh, it's too small.

Very good.

Your mom does not like small
jewelry, small anything.

All right, I think I got
the ticket here.

Okay...let me see.

Oh, it's perfect.

No, no.
No, that's too much.

Really?
Are you sure?

There, that's the one.

That's the one?

Yeah, I guess it's nice.

Open up your eyes, man.
I said this is the one.

[stammers]

You know what?
I'll take it.

- Wrap it up nice, Melina.
- Do you want a bow?

- Do I want a bow?
- You want a bow.

Classy store-bought card,

two simple sentences of love
written in black ink

with proper penmanship.

You're done.

Thanks, Cash.

You know, when you first
started dating my mom,

I was a little
uncomfortable about it.

But now, I'm still
uncomfortable about it,

but she could've
done worse.

She has.

[laughter]

- This is so much fun.
- Uh-huh.

You got shuffle the deck
every once in a while, right?

I wish I could get rig 14
to switch things up

even for just one day.

- That ain't happening.
- Okay...

if you could only eat one food
for the rest of your life--

Peanut butter.

(Billy)
15, love.

- Oh!
- Ooh, 30, love.

Babe, you're never
letting me hit the ball.

Oh, I'm sorry, baby.

It's just that you're
not very good,

and it's fun to win.
- [sighs]

- Come on, baby.
- I don't want to hear it.

It's fine.
Just step it up.

- Keep your feet moving.
- 30, love.

[blows rapid breaths]

Come on, man,
let's go.

Whoa, shit, cock, balls!

Hey!

Sorry, Tim.

That's a warning.

Sorry.

God, Theresa,
show a little class.

- Set point.
- My return to serve.

Stay at the net.
I'll cover the baseline.

Yeah, I know how
to play the game, John.

Okay, let's play.

- Come on, man.
- I'm in your head, baby.

I'm in your kitchen.
I'm cooking you breakfast.

Yeah, I know you're
in my kitchen.

Let's go.

I'm making you flapjacks,
Johnathan.

Hope you're hungry.

These flapjacks
are coming in hot.

No, babe, baby, don't say that.

I'm the one cooking
the breakfast.

- I'm the one who says it.
- Whatever.

Stop bouncing the ball
and serve.

Whoo!
Ace, snitch.

We win!

(Theresa)
Nice.

Maeve is driving me
crazy.

She's over here talking
all this smack,

and I'm the one
doing everything.

Yeah, I hate it when she wins.

What do you guys think about
switching up the teams a little?

- Yup, sounds good to me.
- Let's switch 'em up, man.

See what happens.

Probably the same thing,
but who knows.

I doubt that.

The only thing Theresa's
ever beat me at is losing.

- Fran Tarkenton!
- Oh ho ho ho!

That's the thing your boyfriend
and I do when we win a point.

Okay, T, that ball was
in my smash zone.

You got to let me
smash those.

Also, FYI,
match point, losers.

T, baby,
go to the net, okay?

Just stay out of
the smash zone, all right?

This whole area--this whole
area is my smash zone.

Come on.

- Got it.
- Got it.

- Ha ha!
- Oh!

Cauliflower!

What is that even
a substitute for?

I am not answering
questions right now, T.

[laughing]

- Uhh!
- Uh!

- Uh! Uh!
- Uh! Mm-mm-mm!

[both grunting, humming]

- ♪ What? ♪
- Uh! Uh!

I think that the winners
deserve some imported beers.

And losers should get
something domestic.

- Yes!
- Something from Milwaukee.

Or maybe nothing
at all.

- And we get martinis.
- Oh.

- We want a rematch.
- Yes.

- Team MJ accepts.
- Mm-hmm.

M is for Maeve.
J is for Johnny.

And also for
Michael Jordan 'cause...

- we're the greatest.
- We're the greatest.

And we'll get
the first round,

because we're
magnanimous winners.

Yes, yes, let's get
you guys something to drink.

Hey, I'll get
this one, partner.

Hey, thanks, partner.

Aww!

I'm gonna kill her.

Oh, easy, easy, that's my
teammate you're talking about.

[laughs]

What is it?

Oh, just a text from Maeve.

No, it didn't say anything.
You wouldn't get it.

Oh.

[Maeve and Johnny laughing]

Johnny: Right?
Am I right?

We have to beat them.

I would like that
very much,

but I'm gonna
level with you, T.

If we want to win,
you need to get better.

I didn't know you were
so competitive.

I'm not competitive,
I just hate to lose.

So do I.

So you're gonna let me
teach you then, right?

It could get awkward

because you're the
senior partner at work.

On the court, though,
between those lines,

I got to lead.

Are you willing
to listen to me, T?

[Maeve and Johnny laughing]

- Whatever it takes.
- Good.

I'm gonna mold you like
wet, sloppy clay

on one of those
spinning wheels.

Mold me, baby.

All right, now if I
get pulled up to the net,

you got to fall back
and cover the baseline.

- Okay.
- And don't forget to cover

the alleys, T.
- Right.

- You got that?
- Yeah, I got this.

Yo, how's her lob?

It's not in her
arsenal, bro.

- Hey, I'm working on it.
- Yes, you are.

- I'm getting there.
- Hey, there's no shame in it.

No shame in it.
No one's got a perfect game.

Even Federer, and he's
the greatest of all time.

Nah, bro, you can't be
the greatest of all time

when there's one dude
you can never beat.

My boy Nadal owns that man.

Don't forget the drop shot,
all right, Mama?

Man, when you'd
shave your mustache?

You look like a giant baby.

[laughter]

Out!

What, you're seriously
calling that out?

Clearly the honor system
is pointless around here.

Nah, bro, we got the point.

Serving for the match, losers.

Winning is a terrible color
on you, Theresa,

which is no surprise, because
every color is terrible on you.

Oh, you rubbed it in our faces
last night, you "MJ" assholes.

We are one point away
from beating you

cock ass punk bitches.

[whistle blows]

(man) That's it.
You're banned for life.

That's a forfeit!
- Ooh!

Still undefeated.

- What?
- Oh, what?

MJ all day.

[both imitate hip-hop beat]

♪ ♪

[scatting]

- Ma.
- Oh, I love the bow.

[chuckles]
Okay.

Okay...

[sighs]
Oh...

Henry Isaiah St. Clare,

this is the most thoughtful,
beautiful gift I've ever gotten.

I love it.

Thank you, Mama.
I had a little help.

Oh, and look,
you've inscribed on the back

my favorite Bible verse.

John 8:12.

[laughs]

Oh...

You are the sweetest,
most wonderful boy in the world.

Oh, Mama.

Thank you, Mama.

Oh...

Now, Cassius, I have no idea

how you're gonna outdo that
Christmas gift you got me.

Oh, Mama,
he gonna be great.

Cash is the best gift giver
I've ever met.

Why don't we keep this
about you, son?

Loretta, we can open my gift
later when we're alone.

Oh, don't be silly.

Where is it?
Come on, where?

Oh, I got it.

Oh, love the bow.

Oh, Cassius,
it's exactly right.

Oh, Cassius,
it's perfect.

Ah, ha, ha.

Oh, and on the back,

he also has inscribed
my favorite Bible verse,

John 8:12.

Oh, did he?

"I am the light
of the world."

You are to me, baby.

You are to me.

You know, I am going to go

and put this beautiful necklace
on right now.

Oh, you outdid yourself,
Padre.

Come here.

[laughter]

You sure did, Padre.

How could you?

I panicked.

You know how it is.

She has to love you.

I get my contract renewed
every day.

That's some cold business.

I'd do it again.

Judas.

I had no idea how much I cursed.

- What, you?
- Yes!

You have the mouth
of three sailors.

Oh, shit.

- Yeah, that's right.
- It's okay.

It's one of the few things
I actually like about you.

- Oh, thank you, bitch.
- You're welcome, skank.

Aww, yeah, this is what
I'm talking about--family.

Johnny, Billy, and the
Kelly girls out on the town.

One of the Kelly girls
is undefeated.

Yeah, on a technicality.

Hey, a win's a win.

But I gotta give it to you,
Billy.

- Man, you can really play.
- Thanks, bro.

I wish you would have
seen me in my prime.

I was pretty dope before
I tore my rotator cuff

and had to start
playing righty.

- You were a lefty?
- I was.

See, T, this is why
we got to hang out.

We learn stuff
about each other.

Well, you're all gonna
learn something about me.

I am hungry as shit.

- Who wants to get a bite?
- I do.

I know this dope spot
where they combine

my two favorite things--
food and swords.

I'm in.

(Billy)
Okay.

Okay.

[laughs]

[sirens wail]

[sirens stop]

It was fun for
a minute though, right?

No.

I'm too big for
that damn seat.