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♪ Los Simpsons ♪
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00:00:02,961 --> 00:00:04,713
["El Jarabe Tapatio" parody playing]
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[announcer] KO!
4
00:00:16,182 --> 00:00:17,809
Whoo-hoo! [laughing]
5
00:00:18,601 --> 00:00:19,936
[announcer] Perfecto!
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00:00:22,313 --> 00:00:23,314
[song ends]
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Thanks to Lisa Simpson's tireless
and tiresome advocacy,
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Springfield will now be providing
free LED light bulbs to every household.
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00:00:35,910 --> 00:00:37,786
I can use the money I save
10
00:00:37,787 --> 00:00:40,040
to pay for these louder bullets!
11
00:00:41,458 --> 00:00:46,211
I applaud Springfield
for finally embracing a progressive idea.
12
00:00:46,212 --> 00:00:47,463
Whoa, Nelly!
13
00:00:47,464 --> 00:00:51,384
It's a progressive idea?
Well, now I hate it.
14
00:00:53,803 --> 00:00:58,307
You can have my incandescents when
you unscrew them from my cold, dead lamps.
15
00:00:58,308 --> 00:00:59,725
But this is for a good cause.
16
00:00:59,726 --> 00:01:02,644
The planet or film preservation
or whatnot.
17
00:01:02,645 --> 00:01:04,605
[clamoring]
18
00:01:04,606 --> 00:01:09,527
{\an8}People! Don't let our divisiveness
turn this into another Big Gulp riot.
19
00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:15,241
- [clamoring]
- [glass breaking]
20
00:01:17,494 --> 00:01:20,829
[sighs] There's so much anger
and hostility around us.
21
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Where does all this negativity come from?
22
00:01:23,666 --> 00:01:26,919
More importantly, where does the rage go?
23
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,838
[people arguing]
24
00:01:31,216 --> 00:01:32,634
[rumbling]
25
00:01:35,011 --> 00:01:38,680
{\an8}And in the culture wars, a new battle
is being fought in the town of Springfield
26
00:01:38,681 --> 00:01:40,849
{\an8}where they're coming after
your light bulbs.
27
00:01:40,850 --> 00:01:43,352
{\an8}What's next, your truck's testicles?
28
00:01:43,353 --> 00:01:45,521
{\an8}Mrs. Butterworth's ample bosom?
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- Yeah! Yeah.
- Come on.
30
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You know what I think?
31
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{\an8}I think the far-light crazies
need to check their watt privilege.
32
00:01:52,278 --> 00:01:53,362
- That's right.
- Okay!
33
00:01:53,363 --> 00:01:54,363
Very much so.
34
00:01:54,364 --> 00:01:55,615
[explosion, rumbling]
35
00:01:59,410 --> 00:02:01,454
[roars]
36
00:02:04,707 --> 00:02:06,292
[all cheering]
37
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[all cheering]
38
00:02:17,053 --> 00:02:19,972
Go, monster! Crush that sculpture garden.
39
00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:22,391
Wait. Bart, you're a right-winger?
40
00:02:22,392 --> 00:02:25,644
Nah, I'm mostly just anti-you
and anti-girl in general.
41
00:02:25,645 --> 00:02:27,813
And pro wrecking stuff that helps people.
42
00:02:27,814 --> 00:02:29,064
So that's a yes.
43
00:02:29,065 --> 00:02:30,899
[Lisa] People, don't you see?
44
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This monster is a physical manifestation
of your fear and hate.
45
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Look what your Red rage has created.
46
00:02:43,079 --> 00:02:44,998
[roars]
47
00:02:49,544 --> 00:02:50,544
Darn it.
48
00:02:50,545 --> 00:02:52,462
- Yeah!
- Go, monster!
49
00:02:52,463 --> 00:02:53,922
The destruction's one thing,
50
00:02:53,923 --> 00:02:57,427
but do these coastal elite monsters
have to be so smug?
51
00:02:59,679 --> 00:03:02,098
He's gonna destroy that factory
and end gun violence!
52
00:03:03,516 --> 00:03:05,017
[screeching]
53
00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:06,727
[phones beeping]
54
00:03:06,728 --> 00:03:08,604
"Friend, Blue Monster here!
55
00:03:08,605 --> 00:03:12,149
Are you as concerned as I am
about the Senate race in Nevada?
56
00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:14,401
Donate to Act Blue Monster!"
57
00:03:14,402 --> 00:03:15,778
[groans]
58
00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:20,867
[crowd member] Oh, be nice.
59
00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:32,378
{\an8}[roars]
60
00:03:33,087 --> 00:03:34,546
{\an8}[screeches]
61
00:03:34,547 --> 00:03:36,048
{\an8}[wind howling]
62
00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:37,717
{\an8}[screeches]
63
00:03:37,884 --> 00:03:40,928
The red monster has now
taken out the University District,
64
00:03:40,929 --> 00:03:44,556
but the blue monster has pulverized
Fast Food Boulevard,
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00:03:44,557 --> 00:03:46,099
a previously red area.
66
00:03:46,100 --> 00:03:49,019
Stick with us for up-to-the-minute
Destruction Night predictions.
67
00:03:49,020 --> 00:03:53,440
Um, ladies and gentlemen,
I have had a brilliant idea.
68
00:03:53,441 --> 00:03:54,943
[dings]
69
00:03:55,443 --> 00:03:57,194
Well, that's just not the same now, is it?
70
00:03:57,195 --> 00:04:00,489
Now, I have invented a humungous robot
71
00:04:00,490 --> 00:04:03,575
that will combat
these political monstrosities,
72
00:04:03,576 --> 00:04:07,371
but which can only be powered
by togetherness.
73
00:04:07,372 --> 00:04:12,000
Specifically by the love of two siblings
working in perfect harmony.
74
00:04:12,001 --> 00:04:15,337
I'm a mechanical engineer,
and my brother is a Navy SEAL.
75
00:04:15,338 --> 00:04:16,422
We'd be honored to--
76
00:04:17,215 --> 00:04:21,552
[groans] Well, I guess those two little
twerps over there will have to do.
77
00:04:24,055 --> 00:04:27,140
[Bart] For the record, I still think
everything you stand for is lame.
78
00:04:27,141 --> 00:04:29,143
But... [chuckles] ...robots!
79
00:04:29,644 --> 00:04:31,062
[mechanical whirring]
80
00:04:35,692 --> 00:04:37,109
[Bart] I'm left leg, you're right arm.
81
00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:39,778
[Lisa] Do you even know the difference
between right and left?
82
00:04:39,779 --> 00:04:41,405
Great. You just smooshed Otto.
83
00:04:41,406 --> 00:04:43,283
[Lisa] Ew. Gross.
84
00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:48,704
If we can't get along,
then what chance does society have?
85
00:04:48,705 --> 00:04:51,498
Divisiveness has made the world go mad.
86
00:04:51,499 --> 00:04:54,252
I'm surprised there are only two monsters.
87
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[mechanical humming]
88
00:05:02,218 --> 00:05:03,553
[screeches]
89
00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:06,639
Look! It's Dad!
90
00:05:12,395 --> 00:05:15,732
Oh, giant doughnut,
I'm sorry I ate all your babies!
91
00:05:16,816 --> 00:05:18,900
[both laughing]
92
00:05:18,901 --> 00:05:20,319
Come on, Lis.
93
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:23,030
If we can both laugh at a fat guy
stuck in a doughnut,
94
00:05:23,031 --> 00:05:25,574
we can work together and kick some ass.
95
00:05:25,575 --> 00:05:26,993
[mechanical whirring]
96
00:05:29,662 --> 00:05:33,081
It's time to go take
these cable-news fear monsters down,
97
00:05:33,082 --> 00:05:34,750
playground style.
98
00:05:34,751 --> 00:05:36,002
[roars]
99
00:05:37,754 --> 00:05:39,339
Noogie power!
100
00:05:40,923 --> 00:05:43,760
What do you get
when you mix red and blue nurples?
101
00:05:44,761 --> 00:05:45,762
Purple!
102
00:05:49,265 --> 00:05:50,683
[tires screech]
103
00:05:55,396 --> 00:05:56,606
[both grunting]
104
00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:01,027
[all cheering]
105
00:06:02,028 --> 00:06:05,739
Dingdongs of Springfield,
we've stopped these monsters for now.
106
00:06:05,740 --> 00:06:08,617
But if we allow them
to keep feeding on our fear and rage,
107
00:06:08,618 --> 00:06:10,118
they'll come back even stronger.
108
00:06:10,119 --> 00:06:14,331
The only way to beat them is to remember
what we all have in common
109
00:06:14,332 --> 00:06:18,668
and reject the echo chambers
of cable news and social media.
110
00:06:18,669 --> 00:06:20,296
- [all] Yeah.
- I can do that.
111
00:06:22,423 --> 00:06:24,342
{\an8}[roaring]
112
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[grunts]
113
00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:31,223
[Lisa] Well, I guess
civilization had a good run.
114
00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:32,308
Did it?
115
00:06:33,017 --> 00:06:34,601
Concert halls were nice.
116
00:06:34,602 --> 00:06:35,894
Trampoline gyms.
117
00:06:35,895 --> 00:06:38,105
[Lisa] Internet was a mistake, though.
118
00:06:38,106 --> 00:06:39,649
[Bart] Hmm. Probably.
119
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["Toccata and Fugue in D minor, BWV 565"
playing]
120
00:06:51,577 --> 00:06:52,869
[whistle blowing]
121
00:06:52,870 --> 00:06:56,665
Work in Mr. Burns's corn syrup plant
is done for the day.
122
00:06:56,666 --> 00:06:58,418
[all cheering]
123
00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:03,296
Work building Mr. Burns's mansion
begins for the night.
124
00:07:03,297 --> 00:07:04,966
[all groaning]
125
00:07:08,010 --> 00:07:09,886
Is this house ever gonna be finished?
126
00:07:09,887 --> 00:07:13,391
My father and grandfather died
working on this place.
127
00:07:17,019 --> 00:07:19,354
Come on, guys. It's not so bad.
128
00:07:19,355 --> 00:07:22,358
After all, tonight is
the company Thanksgiving dinner.
129
00:07:23,943 --> 00:07:26,361
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.
130
00:07:26,362 --> 00:07:30,699
Welcome to my elaborate
and needlessly whimsical "mansion-ola."
131
00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:32,952
Dinner is served.
132
00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:37,540
Odds and bodkins!
I've never seen such a sumptuous repast!
133
00:07:38,124 --> 00:07:42,252
Bup bup bup. Before we dine,
a little Thanksgiving tradition.
134
00:07:42,253 --> 00:07:43,753
A wishbone pull.
135
00:07:43,754 --> 00:07:46,506
If you win, this feast is yours.
136
00:07:46,507 --> 00:07:50,051
If I win, no weekends or holidays off
ever again starting today.
137
00:07:50,052 --> 00:07:53,805
- Deal!
- Send out your best pull-man.
138
00:07:53,806 --> 00:07:55,348
[Scottish accent] Leave it to me, lads.
139
00:07:55,349 --> 00:07:59,979
You're looking at the four-time
Aberdeen bone-yanking champion.
140
00:08:01,814 --> 00:08:05,192
You've prepared the wishing furcula
so I can't lose?
141
00:08:05,193 --> 00:08:06,652
Scored and ready, sir.
142
00:08:08,154 --> 00:08:09,696
On the count of three.
143
00:08:09,697 --> 00:08:11,948
One, two, three!
144
00:08:11,949 --> 00:08:13,284
[bone cracks]
145
00:08:17,038 --> 00:08:18,706
[all cheering]
146
00:08:20,041 --> 00:08:22,376
You want your feast? Have at it.
147
00:08:24,795 --> 00:08:26,130
My peas!
148
00:08:29,675 --> 00:08:31,551
[groans] That was worth it.
149
00:08:31,552 --> 00:08:33,387
Dinner's over. Get back to work.
150
00:08:35,389 --> 00:08:36,806
[Agnes] You old fool.
151
00:08:36,807 --> 00:08:39,851
A promise made
upon a Thanksgiving wishbone
152
00:08:39,852 --> 00:08:41,144
must never be broken.
153
00:08:41,145 --> 00:08:43,563
Bah! That's just an old wives' tale.
154
00:08:43,564 --> 00:08:46,274
This has nothing to do with our divorce.
155
00:08:46,275 --> 00:08:48,652
Now you are cursed
156
00:08:48,653 --> 00:08:51,988
to be tormented by the souls
of all you have wronged
157
00:08:51,989 --> 00:08:54,199
till the end of your days.
158
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:57,827
Now I remember why I married you.
[chuckles]
159
00:08:57,828 --> 00:08:59,539
[both moaning]
160
00:09:00,873 --> 00:09:01,874
Still cursed.
161
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:09,382
[speaks shakily] Oh. Corn syrup.
162
00:09:12,969 --> 00:09:14,135
[screams]
163
00:09:14,136 --> 00:09:15,303
Mmm.
164
00:09:15,304 --> 00:09:17,056
[screams]
165
00:09:20,643 --> 00:09:22,520
[all screaming]
166
00:09:23,604 --> 00:09:26,399
[screaming continues]
167
00:09:28,526 --> 00:09:30,569
[sighs] The music of the night animals.
168
00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:34,781
They call to me in some lost language
beyond mortal understanding.
169
00:09:34,782 --> 00:09:36,450
[employee] You suck, Burns!
170
00:09:37,201 --> 00:09:40,036
[sighs] All alone on the holidays.
171
00:09:40,037 --> 00:09:43,290
Perhaps a sip
of bi-hydrogenated oxygen before bed.
172
00:09:43,291 --> 00:09:44,374
[glass shatters]
173
00:09:44,375 --> 00:09:46,210
Who's there? Show yourself!
174
00:09:48,129 --> 00:09:49,130
[glass shatters]
175
00:09:49,964 --> 00:09:51,214
Must have been the wind.
176
00:09:51,215 --> 00:09:52,924
Yes, an indoor wind.
177
00:09:52,925 --> 00:09:55,719
Completely natural. Super natural, even.
178
00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:57,888
A pair of normal occurrences.
179
00:10:00,766 --> 00:10:02,559
[scratching]
180
00:10:02,560 --> 00:10:05,062
What is that blasted groaning?
181
00:10:09,317 --> 00:10:11,235
[scratching]
182
00:10:12,862 --> 00:10:14,030
[gurgling]
183
00:10:14,655 --> 00:10:17,325
- [in eerie voice] Hungry.
- [screams]
184
00:10:18,409 --> 00:10:20,494
Pull yourself together, man.
185
00:10:21,912 --> 00:10:23,664
- Jump scare!
- [screams]
186
00:10:24,498 --> 00:10:25,583
Tub scare!
187
00:10:27,043 --> 00:10:28,586
[sighs, panting]
188
00:10:29,337 --> 00:10:33,006
Moe scare!
[in eerie voice] Where's my peas?
189
00:10:33,007 --> 00:10:34,424
[screams]
190
00:10:34,425 --> 00:10:35,800
[squelches]
191
00:10:35,801 --> 00:10:36,886
Ex-wife!
192
00:10:43,684 --> 00:10:45,353
[panting]
193
00:10:48,397 --> 00:10:51,983
[gurgling] Hungry. So hung--
194
00:10:51,984 --> 00:10:53,985
- [Homer screams]
- [Mr. Burns screams]
195
00:10:53,986 --> 00:10:56,321
You guys really scared me.
196
00:10:56,322 --> 00:10:58,865
All right, don't worry. Okay?
That's all over now.
197
00:10:58,866 --> 00:11:00,033
[sighs]
198
00:11:00,034 --> 00:11:01,911
- Jump scare!
- [screams]
199
00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:04,163
[stomachs grumbling]
200
00:11:05,164 --> 00:11:09,584
[all ghosts] Hungry. So hungry.
201
00:11:09,585 --> 00:11:10,669
Of course.
202
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:13,881
I can end this curse
by simply giving these fellows dinner.
203
00:11:25,309 --> 00:11:27,227
Here, my peckish vapors.
204
00:11:27,228 --> 00:11:31,649
Sate thy satanic hunger,
and slake thy unholy thirst.
205
00:11:37,488 --> 00:11:38,988
[all ghosts] Hungry.
206
00:11:38,989 --> 00:11:40,573
Hungry.
207
00:11:40,574 --> 00:11:45,496
The only dish that will fill our bellies
is your soul.
208
00:11:49,583 --> 00:11:51,419
[grunts, panting]
209
00:11:52,044 --> 00:11:55,463
You starved your workers
and made millions selling the corn syrup
210
00:11:55,464 --> 00:11:59,176
that will embiggen an unsuspecting nation
for generations to come.
211
00:12:03,514 --> 00:12:08,686
You can't eat my soul if it's already
been set ablaze in corn oil.
212
00:12:09,603 --> 00:12:14,316
Farewell, you hectoring specters.
You can't torment me if I'm dead.
213
00:12:15,985 --> 00:12:17,611
Ooh. I forgot about hell.
214
00:12:18,821 --> 00:12:20,948
Cash bar at my funeral.
215
00:12:26,787 --> 00:12:28,789
Good Lord, Wayland! Look at this.
216
00:12:30,875 --> 00:12:35,462
What could have driven such a great man
to burn himself and the house he loved?
217
00:12:35,463 --> 00:12:37,797
And on the day after Thanksgiving too.
218
00:12:37,798 --> 00:12:41,801
Truly it will henceforth
be known as Black Friday.
219
00:12:41,802 --> 00:12:45,430
A day that will serve as a warning
to never mistreat workers again,
220
00:12:45,431 --> 00:12:48,309
no matter how good the deal is.
221
00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:51,687
[bone cracks]
222
00:12:59,945 --> 00:13:03,114
I don't know, Barney.
I've never really been a jeans guy.
223
00:13:03,115 --> 00:13:07,118
Come on, Homer. A swinging bachelor
like you needs flashy pants.
224
00:13:07,119 --> 00:13:09,538
Don't you wanna have a shot
with that cute waitress?
225
00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:12,957
Who am I kidding?
226
00:13:12,958 --> 00:13:14,876
There's not a pair of pants
in the universe
227
00:13:14,877 --> 00:13:18,129
that'll make her give a loser like me
the time of day.
228
00:13:18,130 --> 00:13:19,298
[electrical humming]
229
00:13:30,893 --> 00:13:35,272
Oh. They don't make blubber-positive jeans
for guys with my curves.
230
00:13:37,983 --> 00:13:40,277
Oh, wait, how'd I miss those?
231
00:13:44,365 --> 00:13:46,366
[angelic choir vocalizing]
232
00:13:46,367 --> 00:13:50,537
Amazing. You can see where my butt ends
and my legs begin
233
00:13:50,538 --> 00:13:53,206
instead of being one big bleurgh.
234
00:13:53,207 --> 00:13:56,627
Time to take this sexy ass for a spin.
235
00:13:59,797 --> 00:14:02,632
- I don't know what to say to her.
- [monstrous voice] Why don't you tell her
236
00:14:02,633 --> 00:14:06,386
how attractive you find
her vulnerable, uncovered legs?
237
00:14:06,387 --> 00:14:07,762
[gasps] Who said that?
238
00:14:07,763 --> 00:14:08,847
[monstrous voice] I did.
239
00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:11,015
[gasps] My jeans?
240
00:14:11,016 --> 00:14:12,642
[bell dings]
241
00:14:12,643 --> 00:14:13,726
[cocks gun]
242
00:14:13,727 --> 00:14:17,897
I'll take all the cash in the register.
And is that a chocolate chip scone?
243
00:14:17,898 --> 00:14:18,982
Raisin.
244
00:14:18,983 --> 00:14:20,692
Ugh. No, just the cash.
245
00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:23,069
Oh, I should do something heroic,
246
00:14:23,070 --> 00:14:25,655
but my raging cowardice
makes that difficult.
247
00:14:25,656 --> 00:14:27,408
[shakily] Wait, what's happening?
248
00:14:31,412 --> 00:14:32,662
[chokes] Passing out.
249
00:14:32,663 --> 00:14:35,749
Denim softer than it looks.
250
00:14:36,792 --> 00:14:38,334
You saved me.
251
00:14:38,335 --> 00:14:43,089
I did? I did.
I guess heroism is in my genes.
252
00:14:43,090 --> 00:14:45,426
- [police siren wailing]
- [jeans] The fuzz. We gotta leg it.
253
00:14:47,511 --> 00:14:48,512
[tires screeching]
254
00:14:54,268 --> 00:14:55,518
Hey, nice jeans.
255
00:14:55,519 --> 00:14:56,769
Thanks! They're new!
256
00:14:56,770 --> 00:14:58,105
[siren wailing]
257
00:15:03,611 --> 00:15:06,280
What the hell is going on?
258
00:15:08,115 --> 00:15:09,450
[jeans] Calm down, Homer.
259
00:15:12,161 --> 00:15:16,039
[Denim] I am Denim.
A bio-adaptive symbiote.
260
00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:17,123
A symbi-what?
261
00:15:17,124 --> 00:15:18,625
[Denim] I'm magical pants, okay?
262
00:15:18,626 --> 00:15:22,170
I've traveled from my home planet--
Wrang-lor, in the 501 galaxy--
263
00:15:22,171 --> 00:15:25,173
because it is in the throes
of a climate catastrophe.
264
00:15:25,174 --> 00:15:27,550
Toxins have leached
into our precipitation,
265
00:15:27,551 --> 00:15:31,512
turning my kind into acid-washed jeans.
266
00:15:31,513 --> 00:15:32,847
But isn't that cool?
267
00:15:32,848 --> 00:15:34,182
[Denim] It's never been cool.
268
00:15:34,183 --> 00:15:38,227
It's made us weak, unsightly,
and worst of all, dated.
269
00:15:38,228 --> 00:15:42,023
To survive on your planet,
our species requires a human host.
270
00:15:42,024 --> 00:15:44,150
And my host is you.
271
00:15:44,151 --> 00:15:48,614
Your undercarriage is so wide,
and your methane exhaust so nourishing.
272
00:15:51,450 --> 00:15:53,368
{\an8}One chili dog, extra beans.
273
00:15:53,369 --> 00:15:55,412
{\an8}Yeah. You got it, talking crotch.
274
00:15:56,497 --> 00:16:00,333
{\an8}But what if I don't wanna be your host?
What's in it for my butt?
275
00:16:00,334 --> 00:16:04,338
[Denim] I can give you
the thing you want most in the world.
276
00:16:07,174 --> 00:16:09,677
[Denim] Let your jeans do the talking.
277
00:16:11,136 --> 00:16:13,513
Um, uh, would you like to dance?
278
00:16:13,514 --> 00:16:16,642
Well, you did save my life.
But no, thank you.
279
00:16:20,270 --> 00:16:23,523
Oh, my God. I'm doing it. I can dance!
280
00:16:23,524 --> 00:16:25,316
[Denim] Don't do that. Never do that.
281
00:16:25,317 --> 00:16:26,609
Right. Sorry.
282
00:16:26,610 --> 00:16:29,320
["Soldier of Dance" playing]
283
00:16:29,321 --> 00:16:33,074
["Rockit" playing]
284
00:16:33,075 --> 00:16:36,536
["After You've Gone" playing]
285
00:16:36,537 --> 00:16:39,622
["Rockit" playing]
286
00:16:39,623 --> 00:16:43,292
I've never seen
such amazing leg dancing before.
287
00:16:43,293 --> 00:16:45,712
I didn't even bother
to look at your top half,
288
00:16:45,713 --> 00:16:47,714
but I'm sure it was just as good.
289
00:16:47,715 --> 00:16:49,841
[Denim] Seal the deal. Dip her.
290
00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:52,469
[whispers] I only know how to dip chips.
291
00:16:56,181 --> 00:16:57,766
[both moaning]
292
00:16:58,392 --> 00:17:00,894
[Marge grunting]
293
00:17:02,813 --> 00:17:05,482
Um, will you excuse me for a second?
294
00:17:07,526 --> 00:17:11,404
You got me this far, why don't you
let her get to the good stuff?
295
00:17:11,405 --> 00:17:14,407
[Denim] I cannot be disengaged
from my host for long or I'll perish.
296
00:17:14,408 --> 00:17:18,829
But don't worry, I will help you
complete your mating ritual.
297
00:17:21,165 --> 00:17:25,209
That was the most amazing outercourse
of my life.
298
00:17:25,210 --> 00:17:30,089
Well, I like to think I'm something
of an expert at friction-based rub-a-dub.
299
00:17:30,090 --> 00:17:31,759
[chuckles] You are.
300
00:17:34,178 --> 00:17:37,764
Homer is so sweet,
but he won't take his pants off.
301
00:17:37,765 --> 00:17:39,265
It's been two months.
302
00:17:39,266 --> 00:17:42,394
Tell him to drop jeans
and fulfill your dreams.
303
00:17:43,604 --> 00:17:46,939
I'm so happy I moved in,
but it does kind of bother me that
304
00:17:46,940 --> 00:17:51,903
you and I have been stuck between second
and third base... [whispers] ...sexually.
305
00:17:51,904 --> 00:17:53,571
Honey, let's sit and talk.
306
00:17:53,572 --> 00:17:56,365
You deserve to know the truth
about what's really been going on.
307
00:17:56,366 --> 00:17:57,451
You see...
308
00:17:58,035 --> 00:17:59,119
[groans]
309
00:18:02,206 --> 00:18:03,790
[Denim] Do you not see
what Marge is doing?
310
00:18:03,791 --> 00:18:05,625
She's trying to break up a great team.
311
00:18:05,626 --> 00:18:09,796
Look, Denim. We've had some laughs,
danced, leg-strangled a guy.
312
00:18:09,797 --> 00:18:12,507
And I could have never gotten Marge
without you.
313
00:18:12,508 --> 00:18:14,134
There's no easy way to say this,
314
00:18:14,259 --> 00:18:18,387
but maybe it's time for me
to fart in other pants.
315
00:18:18,388 --> 00:18:21,099
[Denim] No, no, no.
Homer, don't break up with me.
316
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:23,810
No one will ever flatter your ass
like I do.
317
00:18:23,811 --> 00:18:27,815
I'm gonna shut up this voice in my head
and in my pants the only way I know how.
318
00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:31,443
[Denim gurgling]
319
00:18:33,737 --> 00:18:35,322
[snoring]
320
00:18:37,533 --> 00:18:40,994
[whispers] He's passed out.
This might be my only chance.
321
00:18:44,540 --> 00:18:47,042
I got you a little surprise.
322
00:18:47,543 --> 00:18:50,253
[screams] Khakis? Where are my jeans?
323
00:18:50,254 --> 00:18:52,755
Where they belong,
in the washing machine.
324
00:18:52,756 --> 00:18:57,260
And I really love how you look
in these sexy, beige dad pants.
325
00:18:57,261 --> 00:18:59,053
You don't know what you've done.
326
00:18:59,054 --> 00:19:01,180
[Denim screams]
327
00:19:01,181 --> 00:19:04,935
Never wash quality denim!
328
00:19:05,519 --> 00:19:06,644
[gasps, screams]
329
00:19:06,645 --> 00:19:09,814
These Dockers meant nothing.
They came on to me.
330
00:19:09,815 --> 00:19:11,274
What the hell's happening?
331
00:19:11,275 --> 00:19:15,779
Homer is my host, not yours.
And you're about to die.
332
00:19:19,032 --> 00:19:20,032
[choking]
333
00:19:20,033 --> 00:19:22,535
- [Denim grunting]
- [Homer] Ow! Ow!
334
00:19:22,536 --> 00:19:23,620
[Denim] Stop that.
335
00:19:24,872 --> 00:19:25,872
[screams]
336
00:19:25,873 --> 00:19:29,376
Acid! So painfully '80s.
337
00:19:30,419 --> 00:19:33,463
Run, Marge, run! Run from my pants!
338
00:19:35,132 --> 00:19:37,050
[Denim, Homer scream]
339
00:19:42,097 --> 00:19:44,892
[Denim] Stitching stretched.
Rivets popping.
340
00:19:46,143 --> 00:19:50,480
Blech! So hairy.
Like being on a sweaty cactus.
341
00:19:52,608 --> 00:19:55,360
These aren't my moves, man. Not my moves.
342
00:20:01,909 --> 00:20:03,869
No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
343
00:20:11,543 --> 00:20:13,044
- [Denim roars]
- [Homer] Stop.
344
00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:16,798
I'm never gonna let anything
come between us again.
345
00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:20,801
These past weeks
have been the best of my life.
346
00:20:20,802 --> 00:20:22,637
I can't live without you.
347
00:20:22,638 --> 00:20:25,641
Oh, Homie. I love you too.
348
00:20:26,475 --> 00:20:29,477
Uh, yeah, I wasn't talking to you.
349
00:20:29,478 --> 00:20:32,564
[Denim] Yes! Thank you, Jeansus.
350
00:20:33,273 --> 00:20:37,902
Oh. Deep down, I knew it all along.
[sniffles]
351
00:20:37,903 --> 00:20:39,071
Really?
352
00:20:39,655 --> 00:20:42,156
[Denim] Have you stopped
following her on Facebook?
353
00:20:42,157 --> 00:20:43,242
Yes.
354
00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:46,495
- No.
- [Denim] Thank you for being honest.
355
00:20:47,204 --> 00:20:49,121
It was nice of you to let her live.
356
00:20:49,122 --> 00:20:52,541
Well, my species will need
as many hosts as possible.
357
00:20:52,542 --> 00:20:53,668
Wait, what?
358
00:20:53,669 --> 00:20:55,754
[rumbling]
26699
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