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00:00:07,337 --> 00:00:17,271
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00:00:28,657 --> 00:00:30,897
LINDA!
3
00:00:37,777 --> 00:00:43,416
Stop that ruddy whistling,
you disgusting Scotch peasant!
4
00:00:43,417 --> 00:00:45,336
'LINDA!'
5
00:00:45,337 --> 00:00:48,896
Duke of Dunstable. Appalling man.
6
00:00:48,897 --> 00:00:52,536
First name begins with 'A',
staying here with his niece.
7
00:00:52,537 --> 00:00:54,576
Can't remember her name, of course.
Clarence!
8
00:00:54,577 --> 00:00:57,216
No, that's my name!
Oh, hello, Connie.
9
00:00:57,217 --> 00:00:59,776
Have YOU seen Linda? Linda!
10
00:00:59,777 --> 00:01:02,896
Alaric wants her. Alaric.
Oh, please, Clarence!
11
00:01:02,897 --> 00:01:04,936
I mean, if he doesn't find the girl,
12
00:01:04,937 --> 00:01:07,257
he's going to start smashing things
up with a poker.
13
00:01:09,257 --> 00:01:13,456
You! Are you Scotch?
14
00:01:13,457 --> 00:01:18,177
Gae cren yer blargy auld pwist,
y'clomping troon.
15
00:01:25,217 --> 00:01:27,936
Ruddy fellow turns up
uninvited, trailing nieces,
16
00:01:27,937 --> 00:01:29,896
stays for weeks,
spreading distemper.
17
00:01:29,897 --> 00:01:31,976
His own place is vastly
bigger than Blandings,
18
00:01:31,977 --> 00:01:33,936
why can't he stay
there for a change?
19
00:01:33,937 --> 00:01:37,776
Bellowing about like a mastodon with
a hernia. What's this poor, erm...?
20
00:01:37,777 --> 00:01:39,296
Linda.
21
00:01:39,297 --> 00:01:42,456
Precisely, what's she done to deserve
to be dragged here? Clarence.
22
00:01:42,457 --> 00:01:44,616
There is sufficient imbecility
in this world
23
00:01:44,617 --> 00:01:46,576
without you contributing to it
by speaking.
24
00:01:46,577 --> 00:01:51,096
For the last time!
HAVE YOU SEEN LINDA?!
25
00:01:51,097 --> 00:01:53,736
Oh, God!
26
00:01:53,737 --> 00:01:57,776
You shall not marry that creeping
pustule, Pongo Twistleton!
27
00:01:57,777 --> 00:02:01,536
What kind of an imbecile allows
himself to be called 'Pongo'?
28
00:02:01,537 --> 00:02:06,256
An imbecile who looks at my ward
and says to himself, "Toot, toot!
29
00:02:06,257 --> 00:02:09,736
"Gravy train!
Here comes Uncle Alaric's cash!"
30
00:02:09,737 --> 00:02:11,776
I think not!
31
00:02:11,777 --> 00:02:15,416
And when you find my ruddy niece,
you just tell her that.
32
00:02:15,417 --> 00:02:17,416
Very good, your grace.
Will that be all?
33
00:02:17,417 --> 00:02:21,336
No! Where's Emsworth? Don't tell me.
Cavorting with that ruddy pig again!
34
00:02:21,337 --> 00:02:23,496
The man's potty!
35
00:02:23,497 --> 00:02:27,096
LINDA!
36
00:02:27,097 --> 00:02:30,016
Has he gone, Beach?
37
00:02:30,017 --> 00:02:31,976
He has, Miss.
38
00:02:31,977 --> 00:02:34,896
'LINDA!'
39
00:02:34,897 --> 00:02:38,016
Did he have a poker?
40
00:02:38,017 --> 00:02:40,536
He has a tendency to pokers.
41
00:02:40,537 --> 00:02:43,416
He used one to demolish the drawing
room of his own house,
42
00:02:43,417 --> 00:02:45,216
because he could hear
Pongo whistling
43
00:02:45,217 --> 00:02:47,456
'The Bonny, Bonny Banks
of Loch Lomond'.
44
00:02:47,457 --> 00:02:51,696
He hates Scotland, you see,
he really hates whistling,
45
00:02:51,697 --> 00:02:55,176
and above all, he hates Pongo!
46
00:02:55,177 --> 00:02:58,576
He's a great hater, Uncle Alaric.
47
00:02:58,577 --> 00:03:02,097
Yes, Miss. 'LINDA!'
48
00:03:06,417 --> 00:03:07,537
LINDA!
49
00:03:10,337 --> 00:03:13,856
Morning, Duke! Festering fistula!
50
00:03:13,857 --> 00:03:16,056
LINDA!
51
00:03:16,057 --> 00:03:19,576
So. Usual deplorable business.
Girl...
52
00:03:19,577 --> 00:03:22,936
the one we were discussing earlier...
has to be kept away from young man.
53
00:03:22,937 --> 00:03:26,376
Why? I have no idea. Oh, yes...
because he's poor!
54
00:03:26,377 --> 00:03:29,656
I think that's ridiculous.
What does it matter?
55
00:03:29,657 --> 00:03:33,456
I mean, suppose you won the Derby
and all of a sudden...
56
00:03:33,457 --> 00:03:35,336
Are you addressing your pig?
57
00:03:35,337 --> 00:03:38,936
Ah, Dunstable! Eh?
No, I was soliloquizing.
58
00:03:38,937 --> 00:03:42,496
I heard you inciting that animal
to run the ruddy Derby!
59
00:03:42,497 --> 00:03:44,216
Good God, Emsworth!
60
00:03:44,217 --> 00:03:46,856
You can't put your shirt on a pig
to win a horse race!
61
00:03:46,857 --> 00:03:49,816
Why should the Empress wish to wear
my shirt? Empress?
62
00:03:49,817 --> 00:03:53,376
Stone the crows! Now the man
is hallucinating royalty!
63
00:03:53,377 --> 00:03:57,696
Dunstable. You're in the presence
of the Empress of Blandings.
64
00:03:57,697 --> 00:04:00,696
Emsworth. That is a PIG!
65
00:04:00,697 --> 00:04:03,856
Ah! My dear fellow!
You fail to see what I see.
66
00:04:03,857 --> 00:04:07,816
Now, look here. I came for a
rational conversation about Linda.
67
00:04:07,817 --> 00:04:10,936
Linda! That's the girl I was talking
about. Go on.
68
00:04:10,937 --> 00:04:14,176
Right. That's it. I'm taking the
animal off your hands. What?
69
00:04:14,177 --> 00:04:16,736
When I leave,
that pig comes with me!
70
00:04:16,737 --> 00:04:19,937
If necessary, in slices!
71
00:04:25,777 --> 00:04:28,457
Ah! Hello, Beach.
72
00:04:30,217 --> 00:04:33,096
WHERE'S RUDDY LINDA?
73
00:04:33,097 --> 00:04:35,216
'Ruddy Linda'?
74
00:04:35,217 --> 00:04:37,256
The Honourable Miss Gilpin, Sir.
75
00:04:37,257 --> 00:04:40,256
Oh, yeah! Isn't she
Pongo Twistleton's bit of squeeze?
76
00:04:40,257 --> 00:04:42,296
I believe the two young
persons are engaged.
77
00:04:42,297 --> 00:04:44,736
But the match does not meet with
the approval of his grace.
78
00:04:44,737 --> 00:04:48,696
Oh, well. No surprise.
Frightful thug. Has he smashed much?
79
00:04:48,697 --> 00:04:50,616
I have removed most breakable items
80
00:04:50,617 --> 00:04:53,217
from his usual routes
about the house, Sir. Good man.
81
00:04:55,937 --> 00:04:59,656
Oh, and, well... Better move that,
rather valuable.
82
00:04:59,657 --> 00:05:02,136
'LINDA!'
83
00:05:02,137 --> 00:05:04,576
LINDA!
84
00:05:04,577 --> 00:05:07,136
Where are you, my dear?
85
00:05:07,137 --> 00:05:09,577
LINDA!
86
00:05:15,897 --> 00:05:19,136
Now about this pottiness
of Emsworth's. It's gone too far.
87
00:05:19,137 --> 00:05:23,336
He wants to put a bundle on his pig
to win the ruddy Derby! What?
88
00:05:23,337 --> 00:05:26,256
He needs to see a loony doctor,
Connie! And fast!
89
00:05:26,257 --> 00:05:29,456
There's only one man for this
sort of crisis...
90
00:05:29,457 --> 00:05:31,616
Alaric. Do you speak figuratively
91
00:05:31,617 --> 00:05:34,096
when you say my brother wishes
to enter his pig for Epsom?
92
00:05:34,097 --> 00:05:37,256
I do not. I think he thinks
because it's a flat race,
93
00:05:37,257 --> 00:05:40,336
the animal stands a chance.
94
00:05:40,337 --> 00:05:42,856
Don't interrupt! Wait there!
95
00:05:42,857 --> 00:05:45,096
Ah! Here is the blighter.
96
00:05:45,097 --> 00:05:47,776
Name's Roderick Glossop.
97
00:05:47,777 --> 00:05:50,136
Is he discreet?
I've never met the man.
98
00:05:50,137 --> 00:05:54,016
I try not to mix with doctors,
bunch of bloater-eaters most of 'em.
99
00:05:54,017 --> 00:05:57,496
But he had the entire Welsh
branch of my family committed,
100
00:05:57,497 --> 00:06:00,096
so he does the job.
101
00:06:00,097 --> 00:06:02,656
Thank you. You.
Get me a dozen eggs.
102
00:06:02,657 --> 00:06:05,136
Certainly, your grace.
How would you like them done?
103
00:06:05,137 --> 00:06:08,376
I don't want eating eggs, you idiot!
I want throwing eggs!
104
00:06:08,377 --> 00:06:11,576
I wish to assault that ruddy
whistling Scotchman!
105
00:06:11,577 --> 00:06:14,217
Very good, Sir.
106
00:06:21,337 --> 00:06:24,336
What are you doing? Good heavens!
107
00:06:24,337 --> 00:06:27,976
I'm hiding from Dunstable!
What are YOU doing?
108
00:06:27,977 --> 00:06:30,696
I was looking for you.
Well, I'm glad you've found me.
109
00:06:30,697 --> 00:06:33,816
D'you know he plans to confiscate
the Empress?
110
00:06:33,817 --> 00:06:35,416
In SLICES?
111
00:06:35,417 --> 00:06:37,776
He says you are going to enter
her for the Derby.
112
00:06:37,777 --> 00:06:40,816
Connie, you appear to forget,
that the Empress is a pig.
113
00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:43,616
It is not her custom to gallop!
114
00:06:43,617 --> 00:06:46,297
Ruddy Dunstable! The man's a LUNATIC!
115
00:06:56,097 --> 00:07:01,857
Beach! I wish to send a telegram!
116
00:07:09,497 --> 00:07:14,856
I say, are you all right?
It's my Pongo.
117
00:07:14,857 --> 00:07:17,617
Oh dear! Has it sustained an injury?
118
00:07:19,177 --> 00:07:22,376
Ah! Beach! What is it
that requires my urgent attention?
119
00:07:22,377 --> 00:07:25,336
A telegram for her ladyship.
Oh! I'll take it!
120
00:07:25,337 --> 00:07:27,416
I'm on my way to touch
her for a few quid.
121
00:07:27,417 --> 00:07:28,856
Hundred of 'em, in fact.
122
00:07:28,857 --> 00:07:31,776
Yes, fortune was a bit outrageous
on the slings and arrows front
123
00:07:31,777 --> 00:07:33,456
at the Pink Pussy.
124
00:07:33,457 --> 00:07:36,017
Ah! Hello, old prune! How's life?
125
00:07:37,777 --> 00:07:40,017
So I gathered.
126
00:07:44,697 --> 00:07:48,816
Sir Roderick Glossop regrets that he
is 'unavoidably detained'.
127
00:07:48,817 --> 00:07:52,616
Oh, that is a shame! Who is, erm...?
128
00:07:52,617 --> 00:07:55,576
Oh! Everyone's heard of Glossop.
129
00:07:55,577 --> 00:07:56,816
Beach?
130
00:07:56,817 --> 00:07:59,736
Sir Roderick is London's premier
nerve specialist, Sir.
131
00:07:59,737 --> 00:08:02,496
Exactly. Loony doctor!
132
00:08:02,497 --> 00:08:05,976
God! What does he want HERE?
133
00:08:05,977 --> 00:08:09,376
It is the Duke's intention that your
father should be committed, Sir.
134
00:08:09,377 --> 00:08:14,137
He persuaded her ladyship
to summon the gentleman.
135
00:08:18,577 --> 00:08:21,736
Wait a bit. Guv'nor? Guv'nor?
136
00:08:21,737 --> 00:08:24,536
You ever had dealings
with Pongo Twistleton?
137
00:08:24,537 --> 00:08:27,216
Is that a firm of solicitors?
138
00:08:27,217 --> 00:08:30,936
I bet Aunt C hasn't either.
Excellent!
139
00:08:30,937 --> 00:08:36,096
The course of true love, just for
once, is going to run tricklingly.
140
00:08:36,097 --> 00:08:40,296
Oh, sadly this telegram failed
to arrive.
141
00:08:40,297 --> 00:08:43,177
But Glossop shall...
142
00:08:51,137 --> 00:08:54,576
Pongo!
143
00:08:54,577 --> 00:08:58,096
Are you all right?
Yes. Yes. Never better.
144
00:08:58,097 --> 00:09:00,616
Though I may be slightly drunk. Why?
145
00:09:00,617 --> 00:09:03,576
I've been drinking. Ah!
Look at my hand.
146
00:09:03,577 --> 00:09:06,776
Steady as a rock!
Yes, but I can see three of them.
147
00:09:06,777 --> 00:09:11,016
Problem is, Freddie, I'm a physical
and moral coward.
148
00:09:11,017 --> 00:09:13,576
Look, Pongs, all you have to do
is pronounce the Guv'nor
149
00:09:13,577 --> 00:09:15,416
fit for human consumption. Eh?
150
00:09:15,417 --> 00:09:17,336
Then he'll square up to Dunstable
151
00:09:17,337 --> 00:09:19,896
and demand blessings of your linkage
to lissom Linda.
152
00:09:19,897 --> 00:09:22,816
Backbone, Pongo. Give it some gas.
Sir Roderick!
153
00:09:22,817 --> 00:09:26,256
Oh, good Lord! It's my aunt.
154
00:09:26,257 --> 00:09:28,096
Dear lady.
155
00:09:28,097 --> 00:09:32,176
Good heavens!
Thank you for coming so promptly.
156
00:09:32,177 --> 00:09:34,336
Promptitude is my middle name.
157
00:09:34,337 --> 00:09:37,256
Actually, it's Ambrose.
Call me Rosie.
158
00:09:37,257 --> 00:09:39,856
Lead me to the nutter. Less gas!
159
00:09:39,857 --> 00:09:42,616
'Nutter'? Oh, technical term.
160
00:09:42,617 --> 00:09:44,136
The Earl of Emsworth.
161
00:09:44,137 --> 00:09:48,296
Is he? Or does he merely BELIEVE
he is?
162
00:09:48,297 --> 00:09:50,336
No, he IS the Earl of Emsworth.
163
00:09:50,337 --> 00:09:52,536
And although undoubtedly
he is eccentric,
164
00:09:52,537 --> 00:09:54,936
I am not at all sure
he's mentally unstable.
165
00:09:54,937 --> 00:09:57,416
You seem awfully young,
Sir Roderick.
166
00:09:57,417 --> 00:09:59,576
Yes! As a child he diagnosed
his little sister
167
00:09:59,577 --> 00:10:02,696
with adenoid fitzo-screamia.
168
00:10:02,697 --> 00:10:04,376
May I be candid?
169
00:10:04,377 --> 00:10:07,176
You are here at the instigation
of the Duke of Dunstable.
170
00:10:07,177 --> 00:10:08,976
He wishes you to examine my brother.
171
00:10:08,977 --> 00:10:11,337
I wish you to examine the duke.
172
00:10:20,137 --> 00:10:24,696
My dear, I am
so concerned about your safety!
173
00:10:24,697 --> 00:10:30,696
I can't be here with you all the
time, y'see, to protect you... Oh!
174
00:10:30,697 --> 00:10:33,416
Ah! McAllister...
175
00:10:33,417 --> 00:10:35,776
Angus...
176
00:10:35,777 --> 00:10:37,657
Edward?
177
00:10:43,457 --> 00:10:49,696
Dunstable? Glossop.
Glossop, Dunstable.
178
00:10:49,697 --> 00:10:51,456
Hello?
179
00:10:51,457 --> 00:10:54,216
We met before?
Weren't at school together?
180
00:10:54,217 --> 00:10:56,456
Never thrashed you, or anything?
181
00:10:56,457 --> 00:11:00,416
Duke, Sir Roderick is about four
hundred years younger than you.
182
00:11:00,417 --> 00:11:03,537
You'd be surprised,
the people I've thrashed.
183
00:11:05,337 --> 00:11:07,736
Don't giggle like a ruddy female!
184
00:11:07,737 --> 00:11:11,096
To indicate something amusing
has been said, laugh like a man!
185
00:11:11,097 --> 00:11:12,336
Mmm-ha!
186
00:11:12,337 --> 00:11:16,256
If it's excessively amusing,
mmm-ha-ha!
187
00:11:16,257 --> 00:11:19,496
Listen, Glossop. Do this right,
and I'll see you rewarded.
188
00:11:19,497 --> 00:11:21,936
Understood? Now, let's collar
Emsworth...
189
00:11:21,937 --> 00:11:24,656
Sir Roderick does not seem
entirely composed.
190
00:11:24,657 --> 00:11:26,576
No, it's a professional strategy.
191
00:11:26,577 --> 00:11:30,256
The patient is lured to
decant his anguished soul.
192
00:11:30,257 --> 00:11:32,576
If there is anything
I should have been told
193
00:11:32,577 --> 00:11:35,016
about this nerve specialist
and wasn't,
194
00:11:35,017 --> 00:11:37,176
I shall drill a small hole
in your skull
195
00:11:37,177 --> 00:11:40,337
and suck out your brains
with a straw.
196
00:11:42,457 --> 00:11:46,936
That's about as much
time as it would take.
197
00:11:46,937 --> 00:11:49,777
God!
198
00:11:51,817 --> 00:11:56,137
God!
199
00:11:57,617 --> 00:11:59,976
Got any eggs on you?
200
00:11:59,977 --> 00:12:02,576
You! Stop that ruddy whistling!
201
00:12:02,577 --> 00:12:04,696
We seek Lord Emsworth.
202
00:12:04,697 --> 00:12:07,896
Ah, hush yir wisht, yer bug babune!
203
00:12:07,897 --> 00:12:10,216
You are begging for an egging!
204
00:12:10,217 --> 00:12:13,736
Lord Emsworth set me here to
guard his pug agin the likes of you.
205
00:12:13,737 --> 00:12:17,256
Pig? Gah! Pottiness incarnate!
206
00:12:17,257 --> 00:12:20,216
When we find Emsworth,
be trenchant in your judgment.
207
00:12:20,217 --> 00:12:21,896
We shall admire you for it.
208
00:12:21,897 --> 00:12:25,096
You would admire a man who was
trenchant with Lord Emsworth?
209
00:12:25,097 --> 00:12:26,416
Immensely!
210
00:12:26,417 --> 00:12:28,936
I should slap him on the back
and dine him at my club.
211
00:12:28,937 --> 00:12:31,017
Back to the house!
212
00:12:33,497 --> 00:12:35,737
Shoo!
213
00:12:38,977 --> 00:12:43,896
What are your first impressions?
All this business about eggs?
214
00:12:43,897 --> 00:12:47,737
Troubling. Very troubling.
215
00:12:52,857 --> 00:12:55,816
I am nowhere NEAR drunk enough
to cope with this!
216
00:12:55,817 --> 00:13:00,216
You're doing swimmingly. Just...
try to stop touching my aunt.
217
00:13:00,217 --> 00:13:03,937
It frightens me.
218
00:13:17,217 --> 00:13:21,296
I have taken measures, Beach, but
I fear for the Empress's safety.
219
00:13:21,297 --> 00:13:24,136
My lord. May I speak frankly?
220
00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:27,376
My dear fellow,
I trust you would never do otherwise.
221
00:13:27,377 --> 00:13:31,016
There is one on the premises,
of whom you must be wary.
222
00:13:31,017 --> 00:13:33,176
Damn right. Ruddy Dunstable!
223
00:13:33,177 --> 00:13:36,336
The instrument of Lord Dunstable.
224
00:13:36,337 --> 00:13:39,096
What, like a trombone?
225
00:13:39,097 --> 00:13:41,176
Lord Emsworth,
you've got to help me!
226
00:13:41,177 --> 00:13:44,016
I really do believe that if
Uncle Alaric says another foul word
227
00:13:44,017 --> 00:13:47,896
about Pongo, I will stick his poker
through his black heart!
228
00:13:47,897 --> 00:13:49,336
Oh, good gracious!
229
00:13:49,337 --> 00:13:52,616
Shh! He's coming. I implore you!
Tell him I'm not here!
230
00:13:52,617 --> 00:13:56,936
Into the loony's lair, come on.
Emsworth, this is Glossop.
231
00:13:56,937 --> 00:13:59,816
Quite possibly thrashed him
at school, one can't be sure,
232
00:13:59,817 --> 00:14:01,336
one thrashed so many.
233
00:14:01,337 --> 00:14:04,096
Why's my niece hiding behind that
stuffed goat?
234
00:14:04,097 --> 00:14:06,297
It's not a goat, it's an alpaca.
235
00:14:07,537 --> 00:14:09,616
And she isn't!
236
00:14:09,617 --> 00:14:11,816
Clarence, are you actually insisting
237
00:14:11,817 --> 00:14:15,496
that Linda is not hiding behind
that creature? I am, Connie!
238
00:14:15,497 --> 00:14:17,536
Furthermore, I have it on good
authority
239
00:14:17,537 --> 00:14:20,456
that there is a secret fraternity of
brass instruments in the house,
240
00:14:20,457 --> 00:14:23,576
working in concert for our excretion.
What?
241
00:14:23,577 --> 00:14:26,656
When I say 'concert', I don't...
What are you drivelling about?
242
00:14:26,657 --> 00:14:30,176
'Excretion' isn't quite right either,
but you entirely take my point.
243
00:14:30,177 --> 00:14:32,856
It's a CONSPIRACY, Connie!
244
00:14:32,857 --> 00:14:35,296
Glossop. This is the time
to be robust.
245
00:14:35,297 --> 00:14:39,577
Commit this loony and I shall
see you properly rewarded.
246
00:14:50,457 --> 00:14:53,256
It is clear to me, Duke,
247
00:14:53,257 --> 00:14:55,696
that the patient suffers from
248
00:14:55,697 --> 00:15:00,216
a sublunary medulla...
oblongata diathesis.
249
00:15:00,217 --> 00:15:03,976
Wha...? A whole pile of it.
250
00:15:03,977 --> 00:15:05,816
So, it's off to the funny farm?
251
00:15:05,817 --> 00:15:09,376
I would be delinquent not to send him
thither. Bingo!
252
00:15:09,377 --> 00:15:12,696
Glossop? You twerp! I call that
a highly caddish diagnosis!
253
00:15:12,697 --> 00:15:14,296
No, no, I can explain...
254
00:15:14,297 --> 00:15:16,056
What is 'Glossop'?
255
00:15:16,057 --> 00:15:20,176
Emsworth? You'll be much
happier in the long run.
256
00:15:20,177 --> 00:15:23,896
Now why don't you go and have a
pleasant lie-down?
257
00:15:23,897 --> 00:15:26,936
I don't want a 'pleasant lie-down'.
258
00:15:26,937 --> 00:15:29,936
I am going to my room!
259
00:15:29,937 --> 00:15:32,096
To stand up!
260
00:15:32,097 --> 00:15:34,937
Unpleasantly!
261
00:15:36,697 --> 00:15:39,297
HA!
262
00:16:05,937 --> 00:16:08,856
Oh, Alaric, what have I done?
263
00:16:08,857 --> 00:16:10,176
Ha!
264
00:16:10,177 --> 00:16:12,616
Emsworth will soon be settled
in the Giggle Factory,
265
00:16:12,617 --> 00:16:15,536
with a rug over his lap
and a plate of pap.
266
00:16:15,537 --> 00:16:18,016
I'll hang around Blandings,
make sure you don't
267
00:16:18,017 --> 00:16:20,216
make a female farce
of running the dump.
268
00:16:20,217 --> 00:16:23,696
And if that penniless sewer Pongo
Twistleton comes sniffin' round
269
00:16:23,697 --> 00:16:27,096
Linda, I shall drag his pancreas out
through his hat.
270
00:16:27,097 --> 00:16:28,496
Mmmm-ha-ha!
271
00:16:28,497 --> 00:16:30,816
What I said was excessively amusing.
272
00:16:30,817 --> 00:16:33,537
I said I wanted eggs!
273
00:16:36,017 --> 00:16:37,736
Oh, Beach.
274
00:16:37,737 --> 00:16:40,657
Indeed, your ladyship.
275
00:16:45,377 --> 00:16:48,257
Perhaps Sir Roderick's professional
attentions could be...
276
00:16:50,617 --> 00:16:52,777
..redirected?
277
00:17:09,377 --> 00:17:11,337
Pongo?
278
00:17:14,617 --> 00:17:17,976
Twistleton!
You ruddy viper in the bosom!
279
00:17:17,977 --> 00:17:20,496
I did not bring you here to get
the Guv'nor trussed
280
00:17:20,497 --> 00:17:23,976
and shipped to a loony bin! Will you
stop kissing, while I'm chastising you?
281
00:17:23,977 --> 00:17:26,776
I'm terribly sorry, Freddie.
But it was suddenly clear to me
282
00:17:26,777 --> 00:17:29,216
that oiling up to Dunstable
was the way forward.
283
00:17:29,217 --> 00:17:32,376
Freddie, please! Pongo is a lamb!
284
00:17:32,377 --> 00:17:36,816
Whatever he did, he did for love
of me, which is awfully romantic!
285
00:17:36,817 --> 00:17:41,417
Well, I'm shocked, Pongo. Shocked.
286
00:17:42,577 --> 00:17:44,776
Beach? Come out
and look at me being shocked.
287
00:17:44,777 --> 00:17:48,096
Forgive me, I was taking a stroll,
and could not help overhearing...
288
00:17:48,097 --> 00:17:49,976
Yes, yes, yes. What are we to do?
289
00:17:49,977 --> 00:17:52,856
In the first instance, are you
familiar with the popular melody,
290
00:17:52,857 --> 00:17:55,056
'The Bonny, Bonny Banks
of Loch Lomond'?
291
00:17:55,057 --> 00:17:56,896
What? D'you want me to sing it?
292
00:17:56,897 --> 00:17:59,496
No, Sir.
I should like you to whistle it.
293
00:17:59,497 --> 00:18:02,776
You know how to whistle, Sir,
don't you? Yes. Yes. Yes. Of course.
294
00:18:02,777 --> 00:18:05,496
You blow and then you put your lips
together.
295
00:18:05,497 --> 00:18:08,617
Other way round, Sir. Ah!
296
00:18:31,217 --> 00:18:33,936
Beach,
297
00:18:33,937 --> 00:18:36,016
why have I gone to bed?
Is it bedtime?
298
00:18:36,017 --> 00:18:38,376
Shortly, my lord.
299
00:18:38,377 --> 00:18:41,336
I just came to warn you, there
may be some small commotion
300
00:18:41,337 --> 00:18:43,696
outside your window within the hour.
301
00:18:43,697 --> 00:18:45,736
Are the local people
advancing on the castle
302
00:18:45,737 --> 00:18:48,256
with lighted torches and garden
forks? No, my lord.
303
00:18:48,257 --> 00:18:52,056
Torches lighted, not the forks.
No, my lord. Oh, good.
304
00:18:52,057 --> 00:18:56,416
Good night, Beach. No need to lock
the door, though?
305
00:18:56,417 --> 00:18:58,176
Certainly not, my lord.
306
00:18:58,177 --> 00:19:01,577
I cannot imagine how it came to be
locked in the first place.
307
00:19:08,257 --> 00:19:12,256
I'm coming...
308
00:19:12,257 --> 00:19:14,257
I hear you...
309
00:19:27,777 --> 00:19:30,616
Come!
310
00:19:30,617 --> 00:19:33,056
What the hell do you want?
311
00:19:33,057 --> 00:19:35,217
Ah. Finally!
312
00:19:39,057 --> 00:19:45,056
ARGHHHHH!
313
00:19:45,057 --> 00:19:49,897
Will that be all, your grace?
314
00:19:52,817 --> 00:19:58,337
Watch where you're going,
you stupid bloody woman!
315
00:20:01,417 --> 00:20:03,897
Ruddy hellfire!
316
00:20:05,217 --> 00:20:07,777
Ah, crumpets!
317
00:20:12,697 --> 00:20:17,296
Oh, I say! Now look here, Dunstable!
318
00:20:17,297 --> 00:20:23,297
I thrashed you and you blubbed!
Alaric!
319
00:20:28,137 --> 00:20:32,456
YOU! You're the ruddy vermin
who needs a damn good egging!
320
00:20:32,457 --> 00:20:36,456
What on earth is going on? Oh!
321
00:20:36,457 --> 00:20:39,096
Pongo! Do something!
322
00:20:39,097 --> 00:20:42,017
Dunstable! DESIST!
323
00:20:49,657 --> 00:20:52,296
It is abundantly clear,
Dunstable,
324
00:20:52,297 --> 00:20:55,376
that it is NOT Lord Emsworth
who is cuckoo.
325
00:20:55,377 --> 00:20:58,256
It is you!
326
00:20:58,257 --> 00:21:02,616
Before witnesses, you have assaulted
the love of my life.
327
00:21:02,617 --> 00:21:04,576
Eh? Er, Miss Gilpin...
328
00:21:04,577 --> 00:21:06,056
I thought you said 'the love...'
329
00:21:06,057 --> 00:21:10,576
We pay no heed, Dunstable,
to what you think I might have said.
330
00:21:10,577 --> 00:21:14,496
Escort the duke to his room
and lock him in.
331
00:21:14,497 --> 00:21:19,496
In the morning, I shall telephone
the Master of Lunacy.
332
00:21:19,497 --> 00:21:22,057
Miss Gilpin, come.
333
00:21:29,657 --> 00:21:34,257
Connie? You've..
got a bit of something on your...
334
00:22:09,417 --> 00:22:12,296
No.
335
00:22:12,297 --> 00:22:14,337
Leave it!
336
00:22:18,657 --> 00:22:22,696
- Where is Sir Roderick?
- Who?
337
00:22:22,697 --> 00:22:28,376
Oh! He hasn't come down yet.
338
00:22:28,377 --> 00:22:30,416
And where is Linda?
339
00:22:30,417 --> 00:22:33,856
She hasn't come down either.
340
00:22:33,857 --> 00:22:37,536
Mr Frederick? The duke wishes to
see you, Sir. In his room.
341
00:22:37,537 --> 00:22:40,696
Right. Erm... Beach?
342
00:22:40,697 --> 00:22:45,217
I have, Sir, removed all the obvious
weaponry. Ah!
343
00:22:55,297 --> 00:22:59,256
Oh my! Duke? Put the slipper on the
floor and step away from it!
344
00:22:59,257 --> 00:23:02,657
I need you, damn it!
345
00:23:05,737 --> 00:23:09,016
Listen to me. There appears to have
been some fatuous misunderstanding!
346
00:23:09,017 --> 00:23:11,776
I need you to make this clear
to Glossop. Eh?
347
00:23:11,777 --> 00:23:14,656
It is completely impossible for me
to help you in any way.
348
00:23:14,657 --> 00:23:17,656
I'll give you five hundred pounds,
damn and blast you!
349
00:23:17,657 --> 00:23:19,977
And yet I can but try.
350
00:23:27,017 --> 00:23:31,497
Sir Roderick! Whatever is this?
351
00:23:34,417 --> 00:23:37,016
You're an impostor!
352
00:23:37,017 --> 00:23:40,336
Lady Constance, I am.
353
00:23:40,337 --> 00:23:44,336
But, above all,
I am a physical coward...
354
00:23:44,337 --> 00:23:47,336
Just ask yourself this, Aunt C.
355
00:23:47,337 --> 00:23:51,456
Is it really in your interest
to expose him?
356
00:23:51,457 --> 00:23:57,017
Let me explain the situation
as clearly as I can...
357
00:24:15,657 --> 00:24:17,416
Pretty day.
358
00:24:17,417 --> 00:24:20,776
Very pretty. Thought I might as well
walk from the station.
359
00:24:20,777 --> 00:24:22,576
How wise you are.
360
00:24:22,577 --> 00:24:25,696
My name's Glossop.
I'm afraid I'm a little late.
361
00:24:25,697 --> 00:24:29,136
I'm sure it doesn't matter.
Whom have you come to visit?
362
00:24:29,137 --> 00:24:30,536
The Earl of Emsworth.
363
00:24:30,537 --> 00:24:33,896
My dear fellow,
I'm the Earl of Emsworth!
364
00:24:33,897 --> 00:24:36,776
I don't consider you to be late
at all!
365
00:24:36,777 --> 00:24:40,657
Come into the house
and refresh yourself.
366
00:24:43,937 --> 00:24:45,936
You seem well, Lord Emsworth.
367
00:24:45,937 --> 00:24:49,096
Fit as a flea,
Sir Roderick, how are you?
368
00:24:49,097 --> 00:24:52,656
I confess to being perplexed...
I regret to hear that.
369
00:24:52,657 --> 00:24:56,056
I don't understand why I was
so urgently summoned.
370
00:24:56,057 --> 00:25:00,697
Happens to me all the time. I call it
having a sister.
371
00:25:02,937 --> 00:25:05,977
Let's have a cup of tea. Come on!
372
00:25:08,537 --> 00:25:11,976
Sometimes, at this time of day,
there's crumpets.
373
00:25:11,977 --> 00:25:13,617
You are a rich man now, Pongo.
374
00:25:18,337 --> 00:25:20,496
Oh, my darling!
375
00:25:20,497 --> 00:25:23,256
Buzz me up to the Ritz
and dance me stupid!
376
00:25:23,257 --> 00:25:26,296
Oh, Pongo, Pongo,
how I love you!
377
00:25:26,297 --> 00:25:28,576
I say, Aunt C, how are you fixed?
378
00:25:28,577 --> 00:25:31,737
Few quid to keep
the wolf from the door? No.
379
00:25:33,537 --> 00:25:38,456
EGGS! BRING ME EGGS!
380
00:25:38,457 --> 00:25:42,177
THREEPWOOD!
381
00:25:44,017 --> 00:25:46,256
Ah! Ow!
382
00:25:46,257 --> 00:25:49,736
Did you say you were summoned,
Sir Roderick? By whom?
383
00:25:49,737 --> 00:25:52,896
The Duke of Dunstable. Oh.
384
00:25:52,897 --> 00:25:56,736
Is the duke disposed to behaviour
that is not entirely rational?
385
00:25:56,737 --> 00:25:59,936
He lays about the place with a poker
on a regular basis, if that...
386
00:25:59,937 --> 00:26:01,416
Oh, here he comes now.
387
00:26:01,417 --> 00:26:03,056
ARGHHHHH!
388
00:26:03,057 --> 00:26:05,496
If I were you, Sir Roderick,
I'd be inclined to take cover.
389
00:26:05,497 --> 00:26:08,897
Not at all. I'm intrigued.
390
00:26:17,217 --> 00:26:19,577
Oh dear!
391
00:26:21,337 --> 00:26:26,136
Duke, I am Sir Roderick Glossop.
392
00:26:26,137 --> 00:26:30,176
Can you give me one reason
not to issue you
393
00:26:30,177 --> 00:26:32,816
with a Certificate of Lunacy,
394
00:26:32,817 --> 00:26:36,256
despatching you to join
the Welsh portion
395
00:26:36,257 --> 00:26:40,736
of your family
confined at Merthyr Tydfil?
396
00:26:40,737 --> 00:26:43,776
Is there ANY demonstration
397
00:26:43,777 --> 00:26:49,057
of basic sanity you are prepared
to make?
398
00:26:53,577 --> 00:27:00,056
You could let your ward, Miss Gilpin,
marry the man she loves.
399
00:27:00,057 --> 00:27:02,617
Who is that, by the way?
400
00:27:04,057 --> 00:27:08,536
That one. The pretty one.
I mean, surely, Dunstable.
401
00:27:08,537 --> 00:27:14,577
Why obstruct the course of true love?
That WOULD be madness!
402
00:27:24,977 --> 00:27:28,136
It will come as no
outstanding surprise
403
00:27:28,137 --> 00:27:30,776
to learn that
I am going to my room.
404
00:27:30,777 --> 00:27:32,616
If you speak, Clarence,
405
00:27:32,617 --> 00:27:35,616
I will introduce eggs
into your person in a manner
406
00:27:35,617 --> 00:27:40,617
you may mistakenly believe
to be medically impossible!
407
00:27:58,457 --> 00:28:04,256
Between you and me, I don't think
Alaric's entirely right in the head.
408
00:28:04,257 --> 00:28:06,536
Poor fellow.
409
00:28:06,537 --> 00:28:08,097
Have a potato.
410
00:28:10,417 --> 00:28:11,737
Can you whistle?
411
00:28:13,017 --> 00:28:18,377
I have this particular melody lodged
in my head...
412
00:28:30,604 --> 00:28:56,180
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