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1
00:00:03,240 --> 00:00:07,200
When you fall to the bottom, you
realise who your true friends are.
2
00:00:07,200 --> 00:00:09,160
Return to Jesus and
you can return here.
3
00:00:09,160 --> 00:00:11,000
And you're going to throw my stuff?!
4
00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:15,120
Yeah, I don't need it.
I've got all I need.
5
00:00:15,120 --> 00:00:18,000
You've kicked me out of my house.
I don't like you any more.
6
00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:19,400
(CRIES)
7
00:00:19,400 --> 00:00:21,600
It's alright.
I'm just going across the square.
8
00:00:21,600 --> 00:00:23,360
I'll just pop back
if I need anything, innit.
9
00:00:26,920 --> 00:00:28,240
I love you.
10
00:00:29,400 --> 00:00:30,640
I love it here.
11
00:00:31,400 --> 00:00:32,720
Love you too.
12
00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:36,360
But 4am, though.
Yeah.
13
00:00:36,360 --> 00:00:40,880
# Life ain't so great, yeah,
they'll be dancing the moan
14
00:00:40,880 --> 00:00:45,160
# And life ain't Hollywood
for any one of us
15
00:00:45,160 --> 00:00:47,280
# If ever you're in doubt
16
00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:49,160
# Just get your wings out
17
00:00:49,160 --> 00:00:52,120
# It's alright, darling,
get your wriggle on
18
00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:55,800
# Somewhere else. #
19
00:00:59,720 --> 00:01:01,720
Friends ain't your friends
20
00:01:01,720 --> 00:01:03,240
'cause they think
you're a dealer of cocaine.
21
00:01:04,880 --> 00:01:06,840
Oh...pleasure doing business
with you.
22
00:01:06,840 --> 00:01:10,160
Or they want a three-way because
you're Lupita, Queen of the Darkies,
23
00:01:10,160 --> 00:01:12,200
getting loved up
by some white chocolate god.
24
00:01:12,200 --> 00:01:14,120
Not so pure now, am I?
25
00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:15,240
Nah.
26
00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:16,920
And he ain't a white chocolate god.
27
00:01:16,920 --> 00:01:20,280
He's more
a white chocolate unemployed child.
28
00:01:21,640 --> 00:01:24,040
Yeah, he is the Milky Bar Kid.
29
00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:27,560
Nah, my friends chose me
because I am amazing.
30
00:01:27,560 --> 00:01:29,720
Oh, your family don't choose ya.
Oh, no.
31
00:01:29,720 --> 00:01:32,040
My sister is
marrying my gay ex-boyfriend.
32
00:01:32,040 --> 00:01:34,200
I did say we were going to be
more than friends.
33
00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:36,400
Oh, talk to her? Oh, I tried.
34
00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:37,840
He's gay.
35
00:01:37,840 --> 00:01:39,720
He's gay. He's gay.
36
00:01:39,720 --> 00:01:41,120
Mummy, can you close the blinds
please?
37
00:01:41,120 --> 00:01:42,440
Mm-hm.
Thank you.
38
00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:43,840
Cynthia? He's gay.
39
00:01:43,840 --> 00:01:45,400
He's gay!
40
00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:47,720
Not even a hen night invitation.
41
00:01:51,560 --> 00:01:54,320
But who wants to go a kiddie
restaurant with Cynthia anyway?
42
00:01:54,320 --> 00:01:55,560
Me.
43
00:01:55,560 --> 00:01:57,720
Because I got a thing or two planned,
ya get me?
44
00:01:57,720 --> 00:02:01,640
So here I am - BO in this armpit,
bloody period in my knickers,
45
00:02:01,640 --> 00:02:04,720
and a best friend
who loves having me here.
46
00:02:04,720 --> 00:02:07,240
Yeah, Tracey,
when are you moving in with me?
47
00:02:07,240 --> 00:02:10,400
I told ya - I have to live
with mixed-race people first
48
00:02:10,400 --> 00:02:11,600
before I make the full transition.
49
00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:13,120
I've never lived
with white people before.
50
00:02:13,120 --> 00:02:15,480
Right...
I've never heard nothing like that.
51
00:02:15,480 --> 00:02:16,640
It's a black thing.
52
00:02:31,920 --> 00:02:33,960
Yo, are you the guy? For the job?
53
00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:36,440
Uh...mmm, what?
54
00:02:36,440 --> 00:02:38,320
I'm supposed to be talking
to someone.
55
00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:40,000
Oh, Connor Jones.
56
00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:42,200
Jethro, store manager.
57
00:02:44,520 --> 00:02:46,200
Um...yeah.
58
00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:48,320
I thought you'd be older.
59
00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:51,520
It says on your CV
you were previously a pilot?
60
00:02:51,520 --> 00:02:52,640
My mum done it.
61
00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:54,680
She going to throw me out
if I don't get a job.
62
00:02:54,680 --> 00:02:56,280
I reckon she made up some shit.
63
00:02:56,280 --> 00:02:57,560
Ah.
64
00:02:58,200 --> 00:03:00,240
TRACEY: Look, it's simple
and it's foolproof.
65
00:03:00,240 --> 00:03:03,240
I follow through this, I will prove
to Cynthia that Ronald is gay.
66
00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:07,080
So this is what?
Some private investigator shit?
67
00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:09,680
Cynthia finds out he's gay -
68
00:03:09,680 --> 00:03:11,200
some people can't handle
the truth, you know.
69
00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:12,880
I'm going shops, babe.
Do you want anything?
70
00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:14,360
Get tampons.
I use pads, actually.
71
00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:15,920
Tampons are for whores.
Thank you, Aaron.
72
00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:20,600
Cynthia needs to know Ronald's gay,
73
00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:23,120
so we get Ronald to say he's gay,
74
00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:25,760
and - this is crucial - we record it.
75
00:03:25,760 --> 00:03:28,360
The recording is sent to me
when I'm at the hen night...
76
00:03:28,360 --> 00:03:29,560
You're not invited.
77
00:03:29,560 --> 00:03:32,800
Yeah. Yeah, I know. I mean,
do you have a fuck I can borrow?
78
00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:34,880
'Cause I've ran out of fucks to give.
79
00:03:34,880 --> 00:03:37,800
I will speakerphone that shit
to her live and direct -
80
00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:39,040
Ronald saying something like,
81
00:03:39,040 --> 00:03:40,840
"Mmm, I love balls,"
or "Ugh, the vagina. "
82
00:03:40,840 --> 00:03:43,760
It'll be glorious.
She'll have no choice but to believe.
83
00:03:43,760 --> 00:03:47,280
Who's going to record it?
Yeah, uh...
84
00:03:47,280 --> 00:03:50,160
Someone who might be called Aaron.
What?
85
00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:52,120
Yeah, I need to
borrow your boyfriend.
86
00:03:52,120 --> 00:03:53,240
No!
87
00:03:53,240 --> 00:03:55,520
No, no, no. But he's my friend as
well. Ain't you my friend, Aaron?
88
00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:56,880
Aaron, please. Please, please.
89
00:03:56,880 --> 00:03:59,520
Look, all you've got to do is look
nice, go there, sweeten him up.
90
00:03:59,520 --> 00:04:01,640
He will take the bait -
classic honey trap.
91
00:04:01,640 --> 00:04:04,560
Tracey, how you going to pimp
out my man? Aaron, don't...
92
00:04:04,560 --> 00:04:06,200
Candice, just be quiet
and let me think, man.
93
00:04:10,040 --> 00:04:11,760
I'm honoured to help save a woman
94
00:04:11,760 --> 00:04:14,360
from 50 years of a marriage
of deceit and confusion.
95
00:04:14,360 --> 00:04:16,200
But what da rass?
Thank you, homie.
96
00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:18,080
I'm happy to help, yeah?
Eckhart Tolle, like...
97
00:04:18,080 --> 00:04:20,600
No, no, no - don't go quoting
dead people's abstract shit.
98
00:04:20,600 --> 00:04:22,040
Just do what I told you to do, yeah?
99
00:04:22,040 --> 00:04:25,160
Oh, and if you're going shop, floss
and red top milk, not green, OK?
100
00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:28,040
At least tidy.
Oh, yeah.
101
00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:30,160
Yeah, I will wear these, thank you.
102
00:04:30,160 --> 00:04:31,480
Alright, see ya.
103
00:04:33,560 --> 00:04:34,600
So what do you think
104
00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:36,840
is the most important thing
about customer service?
105
00:04:38,640 --> 00:04:39,800
It's being friendly, innit?
106
00:04:40,600 --> 00:04:42,400
Well, what is "friendly"?
107
00:04:42,400 --> 00:04:45,520
Someone's open and accepts you.
108
00:04:45,520 --> 00:04:46,640
Challenges you and that.
109
00:04:47,600 --> 00:04:51,400
Like my girl. She does those things.
110
00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:53,040
Yeah, but in terms of
customer serv...
111
00:04:53,040 --> 00:04:54,360
Hold on, bruvva, let me finish.
112
00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:56,440
You can't have too many friends.
113
00:04:56,440 --> 00:04:58,680
If you've got just one diamond...
114
00:04:58,680 --> 00:05:02,640
You fu... You treasure that thing,
yeah? For everything it's worth.
115
00:05:02,640 --> 00:05:04,200
You know some big words.
116
00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:06,920
I know 'em,
but I don't use really 'em.
117
00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:10,280
'Cause the brain might enjoy
breakin' 'em down and that,
118
00:05:10,280 --> 00:05:12,000
but...the heart...
119
00:05:13,280 --> 00:05:14,720
...heart ain't concerned.
120
00:05:15,560 --> 00:05:17,600
The heart
just wants to know it's safe.
121
00:05:20,160 --> 00:05:21,840
Its door is narrow, innit?
122
00:05:21,840 --> 00:05:25,840
So a tiny little word
don't need to fight its way in.
123
00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:29,480
One sec.
124
00:05:33,360 --> 00:05:34,480
So wh...
125
00:05:34,480 --> 00:05:37,040
(CLEARS THROAT)
So when can you start?
126
00:05:38,720 --> 00:05:40,360
Are you serious?
127
00:05:40,360 --> 00:05:41,560
Yeah.
128
00:05:42,560 --> 00:05:44,000
Fuck!
129
00:05:48,360 --> 00:05:52,080
# I can't, I can't, I can't,
I can't find my friends
130
00:05:52,080 --> 00:05:55,440
# But I don't need, don't need,
don't need, don't need them to dance
131
00:05:55,440 --> 00:05:57,800
# I go
# Whoo-whoo-hoo!
132
00:05:57,800 --> 00:05:59,240
# Let me hear you go
# Whoo-whoo-hoo! #
133
00:05:59,240 --> 00:06:02,320
MEN: (CHANT) Drink, drink, drink!
Drink, drink, drink!
134
00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:03,560
You've got this! Go on!
135
00:06:05,920 --> 00:06:07,280
Oh!
136
00:06:07,280 --> 00:06:09,040
I love my hen party!
137
00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:11,400
Yeah, Mum said commercial food chains
were satanic.
138
00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:13,680
Fast food
became Cynthia's forbidden fruit.
139
00:06:13,680 --> 00:06:15,640
And then so this, like,
chicken nugget hen night shit
140
00:06:15,640 --> 00:06:17,360
actually make some sense.
141
00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:19,120
(SQUEALS)
142
00:06:21,880 --> 00:06:23,560
Hi.
143
00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:28,280
You lot are mental! That was brutal.
144
00:06:28,280 --> 00:06:29,840
Brutal!
145
00:06:29,840 --> 00:06:31,840
Can I get another round of Tangos,
please? Thanks.
146
00:06:31,840 --> 00:06:33,960
I'll get these. Stag night, yeah?
147
00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:36,240
Congratulations on the
life sentence.
148
00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:38,160
Ha, thanks.
149
00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:40,760
She a...she a no-show?
150
00:06:41,680 --> 00:06:43,240
He, yeah.
151
00:06:45,640 --> 00:06:49,280
Why don't you go home instead
of drinking yourself to paralysis?
152
00:06:49,280 --> 00:06:51,960
Firstly, I'm teetotal,
but that's beside the point.
153
00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:57,680
I'm here 'cause life is a dancer,
and I'm the dance, I guess.
154
00:06:57,680 --> 00:06:59,000
Eckhart Tolle.
155
00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:00,480
You know about Tolle?
156
00:07:00,480 --> 00:07:04,600
Yeah.
Yeah, that's from the second one.
157
00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:05,920
Um...A New...
158
00:07:05,920 --> 00:07:07,480
Earth. Yeah.
159
00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:08,680
MAN: Come on, Ron!
160
00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:11,920
Uh, we're playing games later,
if you...
161
00:07:11,920 --> 00:07:13,320
I might, yeah.
162
00:07:13,320 --> 00:07:15,320
# I'll be what you want me to be
163
00:07:15,320 --> 00:07:19,040
# You can take me, take me,
take me anywhere. #
164
00:07:19,040 --> 00:07:20,440
Are you still with the Lord?
165
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,360
I heard you backslid
and fell into pregnancy.
166
00:07:22,360 --> 00:07:23,880
And then into prostitution.
167
00:07:23,880 --> 00:07:25,400
Are you aware that you
have a demonic spirit?
168
00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:27,760
Are you aware that on Thursdays
your mum sucks my dick?
169
00:07:27,760 --> 00:07:30,080
Magdalene, who are you talking to?
170
00:07:30,080 --> 00:07:33,280
You know how you can, like. block out
negative people from Twitter?
171
00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:35,480
Cynthia can do exactly that
with her brain.
172
00:07:35,480 --> 00:07:39,000
It's like some self-hypnosis,
Derren Brown stuff.
173
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:40,440
Nah, it's true.
174
00:07:40,440 --> 00:07:41,840
How about that?
175
00:07:44,360 --> 00:07:46,880
Yeah, well. If I throw this
in your face you're going to, what?
176
00:07:46,880 --> 00:07:49,040
Look right through me
with chips in your eye? Huh?
177
00:07:49,040 --> 00:07:51,760
It's such a shame Tracey
couldn't come.
178
00:07:51,760 --> 00:07:53,040
BOTH: Mmm.
179
00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:54,080
I can be there for her,
180
00:07:54,080 --> 00:07:57,000
but her trying to end my marriage
before it's even begun -
181
00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:59,480
that kind of jealousy
is best kept at a distance.
182
00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:01,880
Prostitutes are generally
best kept at a distance.
183
00:08:04,120 --> 00:08:06,680
Ronald is NOT gay.
184
00:08:06,680 --> 00:08:09,120
(BOTH GRUNT)
185
00:08:22,840 --> 00:08:24,520
Oh, man.
186
00:08:24,520 --> 00:08:27,840
Oi, don't be a sore loser -
control that pain-body.
187
00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:29,800
You're right. But...
188
00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:31,480
One more round!
189
00:08:31,480 --> 00:08:34,440
I think you better save all that
energy for the honeymoon, Ron.
190
00:08:34,440 --> 00:08:36,520
(LAUGHS) Good one, Peter.
191
00:08:36,520 --> 00:08:38,760
Come on, lads.
192
00:08:38,760 --> 00:08:41,400
How about you and me grab another
somewhere else?
193
00:08:44,560 --> 00:08:46,880
Nah, you're alright.
Hope you find some mates.
194
00:08:48,640 --> 00:08:52,040
Oh, Peter, I think I've
left my mobile in your car again.
195
00:09:06,600 --> 00:09:08,920
Seriously? That prat?
196
00:09:16,920 --> 00:09:18,960
Cynthia, he's gay.
197
00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:20,120
Cynthia!
198
00:09:24,040 --> 00:09:26,560
Yes! I've done it.
199
00:09:31,360 --> 00:09:34,160
Can we have
some more ice-cream at some point?
200
00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:36,120
Oh, someone's phone.
Someone's phone.
201
00:09:36,120 --> 00:09:38,760
What is it going to take
for you to hear me?!
202
00:09:39,240 --> 00:09:40,640
(LAUGHS)
203
00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:41,920
Oh, is it?
204
00:09:41,920 --> 00:09:43,120
(LAUGHS)
205
00:09:43,120 --> 00:09:44,880
Eat your fucking nuggets!
206
00:09:48,120 --> 00:09:50,480
I'm sorry. I'm on my period.
207
00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:54,960
AARON: I bought him drinks.
I let him beat me in blackjack.
208
00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:56,640
I made him laugh.
Right.
209
00:09:56,640 --> 00:09:58,520
But you know
when you actually get on...?
210
00:09:58,520 --> 00:10:01,720
I was charming, so charming!
Why did it not work?
211
00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:03,880
It did work. You got the Vine!
212
00:10:03,880 --> 00:10:05,800
No, but how could
he go for the other guy?
213
00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:07,040
I don't get it.
214
00:10:07,480 --> 00:10:08,760
I need to think.
215
00:10:10,600 --> 00:10:12,200
(SNORES)
216
00:10:23,960 --> 00:10:25,240
Jesus!
217
00:10:27,400 --> 00:10:31,120
What did you guys get up
to last night, Candice?!
218
00:10:33,520 --> 00:10:35,480
I told you I wanted pads.
219
00:10:35,480 --> 00:10:37,640
(EXHALES)
220
00:10:42,480 --> 00:10:45,680
Uh....it's not going in.
221
00:10:45,680 --> 00:10:48,440
Lie on your back and pretend
it's your man's dick, Trace.
222
00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:50,600
Just spit on it
and shove it in like a dick.
223
00:10:56,920 --> 00:10:58,560
No! No! It's not going in!
224
00:11:00,440 --> 00:11:02,320
Like it's your man, Trace.
225
00:11:02,320 --> 00:11:05,800
Mmm...Jay Z, stop it!
226
00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:07,360
(MOANS)
227
00:11:07,360 --> 00:11:09,400
Oh, Jay Z, oh!
228
00:11:09,400 --> 00:11:11,560
(MOANS)
229
00:11:11,560 --> 00:11:14,760
That's it, Jay Z! Ah!
230
00:11:17,520 --> 00:11:20,400
(LAUGHS) It's in!
231
00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:21,720
(LAUGHS)
232
00:11:24,040 --> 00:11:25,040
Thanks for that.
233
00:11:25,040 --> 00:11:26,360
You can change the sheets now.
234
00:11:26,360 --> 00:11:29,840
Candice,
doesn't...um...the help do that?
235
00:11:29,840 --> 00:11:31,400
Who's the help?
236
00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:33,280
(WHISPERS) Esther.
237
00:11:36,240 --> 00:11:39,120
Babe, promise me you won't still be
upset at the ceremony.
238
00:11:39,120 --> 00:11:42,720
I'm not upset. I'm just confused.
I look my best and I get blown off.
239
00:11:42,720 --> 00:11:44,120
It's affecting, man.
240
00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:46,240
Or maybe there's something
you're not telling me.
241
00:11:46,240 --> 00:11:47,480
I'm not gay.
242
00:11:47,480 --> 00:11:50,360
Rejection doesn't have a gender.
It's just rejection, innit?
243
00:11:50,360 --> 00:11:53,000
Look, all I want to know is the
truth. I don't care what it is.
244
00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:55,320
If you're gay, I'm willing
to make space for that, you get me?
245
00:11:55,320 --> 00:11:58,320
It's just a bit loud. Can you...?
246
00:11:59,360 --> 00:12:00,760
You know...
247
00:12:01,880 --> 00:12:04,520
Esther!
The battery is dead on this again.
248
00:12:04,520 --> 00:12:06,360
Have you hand washed my knickers yet?
249
00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:09,400
Oh, no.
250
00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:11,760
She can't put them in the washing
machine because they get bobbles.
251
00:12:15,960 --> 00:12:17,440
Cand?
252
00:12:17,440 --> 00:12:19,200
Tracey, I love you. We love you.
253
00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:21,880
But you're driving everyone crazy,
man! You can't stay here.
254
00:12:21,880 --> 00:12:25,160
Can you at least borrow me a pair of
knickers that are not from Primark?
255
00:12:30,680 --> 00:12:34,120
Ron, you're not going to make Cynthia
happy, because you know...
256
00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:35,960
I know relationships are bumpy.
257
00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:39,480
Like the rolls
on Oompa-Loompa here's stomach.
258
00:12:39,480 --> 00:12:41,640
Oh, my God.
259
00:12:41,640 --> 00:12:44,480
He doesn't understand a word -
Greek.
260
00:12:44,480 --> 00:12:46,280
You know what...?
261
00:12:46,280 --> 00:12:49,960
How about I tell you what I know,
point by point?
262
00:12:49,960 --> 00:12:51,320
Point A -
263
00:12:51,320 --> 00:12:52,960
you told me to stay away from you.
264
00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:54,400
I stayed away.
265
00:12:54,400 --> 00:12:56,880
So you inviting yourself
into my house on my wedding day
266
00:12:56,880 --> 00:12:58,720
is intriguing.
267
00:12:58,720 --> 00:13:00,600
Get over yourself, yeah?
268
00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:02,120
Point B...
269
00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:04,120
..you have lips the size of a boat.
270
00:13:04,120 --> 00:13:09,120
Two boats that crashed into each
other, killing everyone.
271
00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:12,480
Uh... OK. Well, you know what?
I tried.
272
00:13:12,480 --> 00:13:13,920
Point C -
273
00:13:13,920 --> 00:13:15,440
you're obsessed with MY love-life
274
00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:18,200
because you can't face
the mess of your own!
275
00:13:19,080 --> 00:13:20,240
That...
276
00:13:20,880 --> 00:13:22,320
That is...is...
277
00:13:22,320 --> 00:13:23,640
You don't know anything about...
278
00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:29,480
Ooh... That one pinch?
279
00:13:29,480 --> 00:13:32,680
You picked the first imbecile
that blinked at you,
280
00:13:32,680 --> 00:13:35,720
because you're desperate,
pitiful and lost.
281
00:13:35,720 --> 00:13:38,040
He's the very
definition of a waste man.
282
00:13:38,040 --> 00:13:39,680
You'll be the first waste woman!
283
00:13:39,680 --> 00:13:41,400
See you at the wedding!
284
00:13:46,560 --> 00:13:48,320
Sorry I didn't call back.
285
00:13:48,320 --> 00:13:49,800
That's alright.
286
00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:51,840
I know you would if you could.
Yeah.
287
00:13:51,840 --> 00:13:53,520
I'm...I'm really proud.
288
00:13:53,520 --> 00:13:55,040
Mandy must be well happy.
289
00:13:55,040 --> 00:13:56,200
She cried.
290
00:13:56,200 --> 00:13:57,720
Then bought half IKEA.
291
00:13:59,480 --> 00:14:01,520
Can...can we talk?
292
00:14:02,920 --> 00:14:04,360
Fuck, I love this girl.
293
00:14:09,560 --> 00:14:12,000
Before you say anything,
I've seen the bags.
294
00:14:12,960 --> 00:14:14,360
I've already cutted you a key.
295
00:14:15,360 --> 00:14:18,120
And I got you these - panty liners.
296
00:14:18,120 --> 00:14:19,360
For your...uh...
297
00:14:23,760 --> 00:14:25,680
Keys are in there.
298
00:14:26,640 --> 00:14:28,320
Come here!
299
00:14:28,320 --> 00:14:29,800
This is just the start!
300
00:14:34,720 --> 00:14:36,360
I...I don't think I love you.
301
00:14:39,800 --> 00:14:41,800
Did...did you hear me?
302
00:14:41,800 --> 00:14:42,800
Yes!
303
00:14:44,760 --> 00:14:47,600
I just need a couple of minutes to,
uh...
304
00:14:51,040 --> 00:14:52,520
I...I don't understand.
305
00:14:52,520 --> 00:14:53,800
Are you going to go or am I?
306
00:14:53,800 --> 00:14:55,960
Well, yeah, it's, uh...
307
00:14:55,960 --> 00:14:57,320
..it's your house, so...
308
00:14:57,840 --> 00:14:59,280
..I'll go.
309
00:15:05,720 --> 00:15:07,000
Sorry.
310
00:15:07,680 --> 00:15:10,320
I've had problems with this
in the past, though.
311
00:15:10,320 --> 00:15:12,200
Can I just confirm...?
I get it.
312
00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:13,960
You're leaving me. I know.
313
00:15:15,400 --> 00:15:18,000
OK. That's great.
314
00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:30,240
I've got nothing to say. Sorry.
315
00:15:52,520 --> 00:15:56,160
Connor?
This isn't exactly store policy.
316
00:15:58,080 --> 00:16:00,520
I think maybe you should go home.
317
00:16:06,760 --> 00:16:09,320
(CYNTHIA SHOUTS INDISTINCTLY)
318
00:16:09,320 --> 00:16:11,000
A gazelle! I said a gazelle!
319
00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:13,760
Got to be delicate
like a graceful swan.
320
00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:17,200
I don't want hard hands,
or hefty hands.
321
00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:18,520
(SCREAMS)
322
00:16:18,520 --> 00:16:19,640
Oh, baby...
323
00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:23,160
No!
He's gay! He's gay!
324
00:16:23,160 --> 00:16:25,280
He's gay. He's gay! He's gay!
325
00:16:25,280 --> 00:16:28,520
SHUT UP! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!
326
00:16:30,120 --> 00:16:32,080
Be very careful what you say.
327
00:16:32,080 --> 00:16:33,880
Our cycles are synchronised.
328
00:16:33,880 --> 00:16:35,560
I know that you are on your period.
329
00:16:35,560 --> 00:16:37,200
I am too.
330
00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:40,480
But that is no excuse
to permanently break family ties
331
00:16:40,480 --> 00:16:42,880
because once the blood runs dry...
332
00:16:43,760 --> 00:16:47,000
..those ties... cannot be unbroken.
333
00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:49,960
Yeah? You're on your period too?
Hm.
334
00:16:49,960 --> 00:16:52,160
The honeymoon...
Mm.
335
00:16:52,160 --> 00:16:53,840
Well, I guess it gives him
the perfect cover-up
336
00:16:53,840 --> 00:16:55,120
to stick it in your bum tonight,
then.
337
00:16:55,120 --> 00:16:57,600
OK, yeah...
GET OUT OF MY LIMOUSINE!
338
00:16:57,600 --> 00:17:00,600
Get out of my limousine!
It is not a limousine!
339
00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:02,960
It's a white car.
They're different things.
340
00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:07,280
It is a tiny white car!
This is my white car! My car!
341
00:17:07,280 --> 00:17:09,000
What? Say something?
Ignore her.
342
00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:10,600
Don't let her energy...
Say something!
343
00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:11,840
Just ignore her.
344
00:17:11,840 --> 00:17:14,720
It's my special limousine ride
on my special day,
345
00:17:14,720 --> 00:17:16,120
and nobody can spoil it.
346
00:17:16,120 --> 00:17:17,240
Yay, we're having fun...
347
00:17:17,240 --> 00:17:20,000
Driver, stop! I said stop.
We're here!
348
00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:26,360
What are you playing at?
It's almost 12:00.
349
00:17:26,360 --> 00:17:28,520
Now you're earning, do you want
to go halvsies on a cabinet?
350
00:17:28,520 --> 00:17:31,400
Connor, if you're going to be
late for work, you should call 'em.
351
00:17:31,400 --> 00:17:36,400
The only company I'm currently
employed by is loneliness.
352
00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:39,000
Right. Sacked.
353
00:17:41,080 --> 00:17:44,800
You're a prison sentence!
You're a thorn in my side!
354
00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:47,720
In my back! Everywhere!
355
00:17:47,720 --> 00:17:50,360
You're fucking acupuncture!
356
00:17:50,360 --> 00:17:53,720
You've never even met your dad -
how did you become him?!
357
00:17:56,720 --> 00:17:59,440
(APPLAUSE)
(ORGAN MUSIC)
358
00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:07,280
Why didn't he fancy me?
I just don't get it.
359
00:18:07,280 --> 00:18:09,680
Oh, my days, babe. It's calm.
360
00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:11,080
You're the only one who cares.
361
00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:18,880
I give up. I'm just going to let this
be the worst day of my life so far.
362
00:18:20,080 --> 00:18:23,320
Get out of my way
and let me be seen for once.
363
00:18:23,320 --> 00:18:26,040
(WHISPERS) Get out of my way!
Get out of my way.
364
00:18:47,840 --> 00:18:49,360
She said there'd be free food, man.
365
00:18:49,360 --> 00:18:51,080
That's the only reason I came.
366
00:18:51,080 --> 00:18:52,320
Eh, eh, eh! Shut up, Candice!
367
00:18:52,320 --> 00:18:53,760
Who's she telling to shut up?
368
00:18:53,760 --> 00:18:55,760
She needs a kick in the gut.
Can you imagine...
369
00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:58,040
Uh, vows.
370
00:18:58,040 --> 00:19:00,560
Glory to God in the highest, peace
to his people on earth, hallelujah!
371
00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:02,280
CONGREGATION: Hallelujah.
372
00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:05,440
Say a few words
for your apparent wife.
373
00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:08,200
Oh, um...
374
00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:16,480
I fell in love...
the moment you saw me...
375
00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:19,960
..for who I was...
376
00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:25,040
And when you fall in love, you...
377
00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:27,160
..lose control of who you
want to be...
378
00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:30,400
..and what you want to be seen as.
379
00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:34,280
But you reminded me that
whenever you interact with people...
380
00:19:34,280 --> 00:19:35,440
Hold up a minute.
381
00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:38,520
..don't be there primarily
as a function or a role...
382
00:19:38,520 --> 00:19:40,040
He's talking like Tolle.
383
00:19:40,040 --> 00:19:42,640
It is the field
of conscious presence.
384
00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:45,200
Let's wire down. Get the fuck out.
385
00:19:45,200 --> 00:19:47,680
You can only lose something
that you have...
386
00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:50,200
..but you cannot lose
something that you are.
387
00:19:54,480 --> 00:19:56,040
I'm gay.
388
00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:01,760
(WHISPERS) Oh, my God.
389
00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:03,200
I...
390
00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:05,040
..am a gay man.
391
00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:07,520
(WHISPERS) Oh, my God.
392
00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:08,800
Cynthia...
393
00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:11,400
..this is me.
394
00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:16,280
That...is the nicest thing
he's ever said.
395
00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:22,000
(SCREAMS, CRIES)
396
00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:23,280
It's OK. It's OK.
397
00:20:23,280 --> 00:20:25,080
(CRIES)
398
00:20:25,080 --> 00:20:26,400
You!
399
00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:30,960
(SPITS) Eugh! (SCREAMS)
400
00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:33,880
(SHOUTS INCOHERENTLY, CRIES)
401
00:20:34,880 --> 00:20:36,480
You! Hubby!
402
00:20:36,480 --> 00:20:39,480
Yes! I am not my sister, OK?
403
00:20:39,480 --> 00:20:43,640
I will be the ruination
of your entire life.
404
00:20:43,640 --> 00:20:47,400
Mummy, I'm all of a sudden really
hungry. I need to eat something.
405
00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:48,800
Let's go. Let's go.
406
00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:50,960
That's what you've done.
That's what you've done!
407
00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:57,160
I don't, um...know how you feel,
but...
408
00:20:57,160 --> 00:20:59,680
..I know how I do.
Oh, it's made my day, that.
409
00:20:59,680 --> 00:21:01,360
He's NOT gay!
410
00:21:01,360 --> 00:21:03,040
Oh.
411
00:21:03,040 --> 00:21:04,280
Right.
412
00:21:10,560 --> 00:21:13,120
Right. It's fine.
413
00:21:18,440 --> 00:21:21,040
(SCREAMS)
414
00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:28,960
(SCREAMS, YELLS)
415
00:21:28,960 --> 00:21:31,160
(HOWLS)
416
00:22:20,560 --> 00:22:22,040
Do you want a Fruit Pastille?
417
00:22:24,800 --> 00:22:27,080
What flavour?
It's purple.
418
00:22:27,080 --> 00:22:28,720
It's the only one I don't eat -
sorry.
419
00:22:28,720 --> 00:22:30,000
Is it?
Yeah.
420
00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:31,000
It's the only one I like.
421
00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:32,920
Who only likes
purple Fruit Pastille?
422
00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:34,440
Who only hates 'em?
True.
423
00:22:34,440 --> 00:22:36,480
Probably loads of people -
they just don't come forward.
424
00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:39,280
Yeah.
425
00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:41,280
You ever been to Mudchute Farm?
No.
426
00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:44,440
I'll take ya.
Will ya?
427
00:22:44,440 --> 00:22:45,840
You coming, or what?
428
00:22:46,920 --> 00:22:48,040
# My heart is...
429
00:22:48,040 --> 00:22:49,480
Where are we going?
430
00:22:49,480 --> 00:22:53,000
# Getting up, pick me up... #
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