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All language subtitles for Beautiful.Wedding.2024.2160p.4K.WEB.x265.10bit.AAC5.1-[YTS.MX].en

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:37,580 This is the story of a couple madly in love. 2 00:00:37,663 --> 00:00:40,958 So mad, they drove each other crazy. 3 00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:43,544 - Oh, fuck you, Travis Maddox. - Fuck you! 4 00:00:44,211 --> 00:00:47,381 {\an8}You know, for someone who claims they're not a toxic male, 5 00:00:47,465 --> 00:00:48,716 {\an8}you don't do a very good job. 6 00:00:48,799 --> 00:00:50,050 {\an8}Oh, waah! 7 00:00:50,134 --> 00:00:54,096 Another ten point loss for Travis in Abby's stupid married contest. 8 00:00:54,180 --> 00:00:57,558 Aw, don't worry. You lost that contest a very long time ago. 9 00:00:57,641 --> 00:01:00,269 Oh, really? Did you give yourself a ten point reduction 10 00:01:00,352 --> 00:01:02,855 when you ran with your titties out on a public beach? 11 00:01:02,938 --> 00:01:04,523 Or how about this morning? 12 00:01:04,607 --> 00:01:07,651 Was your boyfriend surprised to see the carpets match the drapes? 13 00:01:07,735 --> 00:01:08,611 Silence! 14 00:01:08,694 --> 00:01:10,362 I'm sorry, Sister Bertrille. 15 00:01:12,823 --> 00:01:14,943 You gonna let Mother Teresa push you around like that? 16 00:01:15,201 --> 00:01:19,872 Por favor. Let's start from the beginning. Tell me how you fell in love. 17 00:01:22,166 --> 00:01:25,127 Well, it all started at the Circle. 18 00:01:26,045 --> 00:01:29,256 It's this underground fight club I'm a pretty big deal at. 19 00:01:29,340 --> 00:01:31,634 Oh, the ego on you. 20 00:01:32,718 --> 00:01:35,846 From the moment I saw her, I couldn't take my eyes off of her, 21 00:01:35,930 --> 00:01:38,933 which was a mistake, because I was fighting somebody. 22 00:01:39,016 --> 00:01:41,352 Then I caught her Insta-stalking me, 23 00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:44,188 which was creepy, if she wasn't so adorable. 24 00:01:44,271 --> 00:01:48,108 I was not Insta-stalking. Okay, maybe I was. 25 00:01:48,192 --> 00:01:50,486 But he was all I could think about. 26 00:01:51,278 --> 00:01:56,075 Then we went on this really romantic date and I knew she was the one. 27 00:01:56,158 --> 00:01:58,828 Yeah, but I thought he was a total player. 28 00:01:58,911 --> 00:02:02,414 He had a drawer full of sex toys and condoms. 29 00:02:02,498 --> 00:02:03,767 So I made a bet with her, 30 00:02:03,791 --> 00:02:07,711 and if I won, she'd have to be my roommate for a month, platonically. 31 00:02:07,795 --> 00:02:08,921 Wall of China. 32 00:02:09,004 --> 00:02:13,175 I lost the bet. And yeah, he was charming, but crazy. 33 00:02:13,259 --> 00:02:15,135 And I didn't wanna date crazy. 34 00:02:15,219 --> 00:02:18,639 I wanted a nice, normal guy like Parker Hayes. 35 00:02:18,722 --> 00:02:20,808 Oh, God! 36 00:02:20,891 --> 00:02:22,911 - Who he terrorized. - Why are you bringing that up? 37 00:02:22,935 --> 00:02:25,271 - Because that's what happened. - Okay, Miss Honesty. 38 00:02:25,354 --> 00:02:27,714 Why don't we talk about your morning flogging of the bishop? 39 00:02:27,773 --> 00:02:30,067 - Bishop Gomez? - No, it's a euphemism. 40 00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:32,470 - She was giving me a hand job. - This is not a confession. 41 00:02:32,528 --> 00:02:35,155 - He's a priest! - And you're an asshole! 42 00:02:35,239 --> 00:02:39,493 Anyhow, against my better judgment, I fell madly in love with him. 43 00:02:39,577 --> 00:02:41,620 He even took me home to meet his brothers. 44 00:02:41,704 --> 00:02:43,622 And just as everything was going great, 45 00:02:43,706 --> 00:02:46,417 I get abducted by this Vegas gangster Benny 46 00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:48,460 because I happen to be very good at poker. 47 00:02:48,544 --> 00:02:52,590 - And then I saved her. - And then I saved him. 48 00:02:52,673 --> 00:02:54,967 And then we found her stolen money, 49 00:02:55,050 --> 00:02:58,345 ran away from the bad guys, and lived happily ever after. 50 00:02:58,429 --> 00:03:03,225 Except we're not happily, I mean happy, which is why we're here. 51 00:03:03,309 --> 00:03:07,146 Okay, um, why don't we start at "happily ever after"? 52 00:03:07,229 --> 00:03:09,815 Was that your wedding night? 53 00:03:09,899 --> 00:03:11,025 Uh... 54 00:03:11,108 --> 00:03:14,403 - That's a little unclear. - Yeah. We were fucked up. 55 00:03:14,486 --> 00:03:17,531 Okay, how about we start six days ago? When we woke up. 56 00:03:17,615 --> 00:03:19,825 That might be helpful. 57 00:03:35,966 --> 00:03:38,302 ♪ What can I do... ♪ 58 00:03:38,385 --> 00:03:40,137 I never wanna leave this bed, pigeon. 59 00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:42,765 ♪ Oh, I love you... ♪ 60 00:03:43,849 --> 00:03:47,061 ♪ And what can I say... ♪ 61 00:03:47,770 --> 00:03:49,355 Oh, baby. 62 00:03:50,064 --> 00:03:51,482 Mmm. 63 00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:53,317 - Yeah, babe. - Shep? 64 00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:55,027 I know what you want, baby. 65 00:03:55,110 --> 00:03:59,573 You want the... the magic Maddox fingers, don't you? 66 00:03:59,657 --> 00:04:03,410 Ooh, tickle, tickle. 67 00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:10,793 You're not Mare. 68 00:04:10,876 --> 00:04:12,711 Mare has brown eyes. 69 00:04:13,545 --> 00:04:16,382 - What are you guys doing? - Nothing. 70 00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:19,843 - Where's Mare? - Mare? 71 00:04:19,927 --> 00:04:22,304 - Yeah. - Where is Mare? 72 00:04:22,388 --> 00:04:23,764 I don't know. 73 00:04:23,847 --> 00:04:28,227 - Mare... Pumpkin, where are you? - What the fuck happened last night? 74 00:04:28,310 --> 00:04:31,855 - What the hell happened last night? - I... I don't know. I don't know. 75 00:04:31,939 --> 00:04:34,274 - Whoa. - Where did all this money come from? 76 00:04:34,358 --> 00:04:38,612 - Benny. - No. This is Benny's money right here. 77 00:04:38,696 --> 00:04:42,199 - I'm confused. - Oh, I think I went gambling last night. 78 00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:43,867 Oh, my God, what is going on? 79 00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:49,081 Oh, guys, hey, we're on TV. 80 00:04:49,164 --> 00:04:50,958 Oh, my God. 81 00:04:51,041 --> 00:04:53,210 - I guess you won? - Good work. 82 00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:55,045 - So we all split it? - Lucky 13. 83 00:04:55,129 --> 00:04:57,357 - There you go, camera. - I have no memory of that! 84 00:04:57,381 --> 00:04:59,925 I don't remember that. I wonder what we sang? 85 00:05:00,009 --> 00:05:04,388 - Pumpkin, you took care of me. - Yeah, 'cause I love you. 86 00:05:05,973 --> 00:05:08,225 - Oh, babe. - Yeah. 87 00:05:09,101 --> 00:05:10,728 - I fingered Travis. - What? 88 00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:11,979 - What? - What? 89 00:05:12,062 --> 00:05:13,063 What? 90 00:05:14,440 --> 00:05:15,482 What? 91 00:05:16,233 --> 00:05:17,985 That's not real. 92 00:05:19,111 --> 00:05:22,364 - I wouldn't do that. - It looks pretty real. 93 00:05:25,451 --> 00:05:28,203 Oh, shit. Guys, look... look at the screen. 94 00:05:29,121 --> 00:05:30,497 That's not real. 95 00:05:30,581 --> 00:05:34,334 - That's just us goofing around, right? - That's... That's funny. 96 00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:37,629 Oh, shit. 97 00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:41,592 - Oh, my God. - Okay. Okay, Abby. 98 00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:43,028 - We got married last night? - It's okay. 99 00:05:43,052 --> 00:05:44,678 - Look at me. - Oh, my God. 100 00:05:44,762 --> 00:05:47,473 This probably isn't an ideal way to do this, but I love you, 101 00:05:47,556 --> 00:05:49,850 I really do love you, and I wish that my family was here 102 00:05:49,933 --> 00:05:51,894 to see you and me like this. 103 00:05:51,977 --> 00:05:53,187 I love you... 104 00:06:03,822 --> 00:06:06,658 - Oh, Abby. - That's not what we needed. 105 00:06:06,742 --> 00:06:08,261 Well, hey, listen, on the bright side, 106 00:06:08,285 --> 00:06:12,581 I thought that... I thought that speech was very romantic. 107 00:06:16,877 --> 00:06:18,837 Hello. 108 00:06:18,921 --> 00:06:23,175 Hi, this is at the front desk with a reminder that checkout was an hour ago, 109 00:06:23,258 --> 00:06:27,971 so there's gonna be a surcharge of about $180,000. 110 00:06:28,055 --> 00:06:30,307 - You fucking ass-clowns. - What? 111 00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:32,935 - Wait, is that Benny? - Benny? 112 00:06:33,018 --> 00:06:34,603 - Who's Benny? - Benny? 113 00:06:34,686 --> 00:06:37,165 - No, no, no, I got this. Don't worry. - No, I got this. Benny? 114 00:06:37,189 --> 00:06:40,734 What is it with your generation and the utter lack of manners? 115 00:06:40,818 --> 00:06:42,736 There's no "good morning, how's your day"? 116 00:06:42,820 --> 00:06:45,531 Look, I know all about the con that you and my dad and Jesse 117 00:06:45,614 --> 00:06:47,324 tried to screw me over with, okay? 118 00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:49,284 Yeah, that's ancient history. 119 00:06:49,368 --> 00:06:54,039 This is about Travis assuming your debt by fighting against Chernobyl. 120 00:06:54,123 --> 00:06:57,751 - Money that I did not get back. - I have it. I'm hanging up on you. 121 00:06:57,835 --> 00:07:01,964 Well, I can see who wears the balls in this relationship. 122 00:07:02,339 --> 00:07:05,050 I wanna see the two of you in my office in an hour. 123 00:07:05,134 --> 00:07:08,178 And don't you even think of skipping town. 124 00:07:08,262 --> 00:07:11,098 - Buh-bye. - At least let me... 125 00:07:11,181 --> 00:07:17,181 Come on, pool, let's go. Fucking look at me like that. Let's go. Damn! 126 00:07:17,271 --> 00:07:18,981 - He's bluffing. - Yeah. 127 00:07:30,325 --> 00:07:31,493 Gun! 128 00:07:33,579 --> 00:07:36,331 Get him! Get him, get him! Baby, get him! 129 00:07:40,085 --> 00:07:42,880 - Good job, baby. - Get in there, man! 130 00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:45,382 - I'm proud of you. - Did you just fucking kick my cousin? 131 00:07:47,384 --> 00:07:50,137 - He's down. It's okay. - Something to cool down with. 132 00:07:50,596 --> 00:07:53,515 - Oh, God. Oh, my God. Guys. - No, no. Guys. 133 00:07:53,599 --> 00:07:55,142 - Yeah. - Oh, yeah. 134 00:07:55,225 --> 00:07:56,810 You like that? 135 00:07:56,894 --> 00:07:59,146 - You thirsty? - You thirsty? Okay. Drink up! 136 00:07:59,229 --> 00:08:00,939 - There you go. - Guys? 137 00:08:01,023 --> 00:08:02,774 - Almost done. - Hold on. 138 00:08:02,858 --> 00:08:05,235 Guys! 139 00:08:05,319 --> 00:08:06,320 Oops. 140 00:08:07,738 --> 00:08:08,738 Hello? 141 00:08:10,115 --> 00:08:11,115 Anyone home? 142 00:08:11,742 --> 00:08:14,161 - Jerry? - Attention! 143 00:08:19,249 --> 00:08:21,001 Jerry won't be joining us. 144 00:08:21,627 --> 00:08:23,337 Stupid son of a bitch did that keto thing 145 00:08:23,420 --> 00:08:26,173 and is now pissing kidney stones the size of leema beans. 146 00:08:26,256 --> 00:08:27,257 - Lima. - Huh? 147 00:08:27,341 --> 00:08:30,010 - And you are? - Chief Warrant Officer Delroy Murphy. 148 00:08:30,093 --> 00:08:34,097 But my friends and enemies call me Buzz. 149 00:08:36,266 --> 00:08:37,643 Hi, Buzz. 150 00:08:39,478 --> 00:08:43,023 Lady Hawk and I will be flying you down to Méjico. 151 00:08:43,106 --> 00:08:46,568 - That thing can't fly to Mexico. - Don't tell me my business, sweet peach. 152 00:08:46,652 --> 00:08:49,529 Lady Hawk has been retrofitted and modified! 153 00:08:50,614 --> 00:08:53,700 - The Millennium fucking Falcon. - Oh! Star Wars! 154 00:08:56,078 --> 00:09:01,166 I'll take you down to Méjico. No passports, no questions. 155 00:09:01,625 --> 00:09:05,212 The whole enchilada for ten grand. 156 00:09:05,295 --> 00:09:07,506 - Wow, that's pretty... - We'll take it. 157 00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:10,217 What, like we have a choice? 158 00:09:11,927 --> 00:09:14,554 Here. Here's 5K now. 159 00:09:14,638 --> 00:09:17,599 And then I'll give you the rest when we make it there in one piece. 160 00:09:18,141 --> 00:09:19,452 - I like your style. - What about getting back? 161 00:09:19,476 --> 00:09:21,478 That's not my problem, Slotty. 162 00:09:25,691 --> 00:09:29,903 Okay, um, you guys have fun with, uh, Lando Calrissian and his macho... 163 00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:46,295 Roger! 164 00:09:47,337 --> 00:09:50,549 Whoa! This is so cool! Wireless headsets. 165 00:09:51,383 --> 00:09:54,970 - Hey, Buzz, you got Spotify on this? - You want an ass-whippin'? 166 00:09:55,053 --> 00:09:57,389 I'm gonna be, uh, really honest right now. 167 00:09:57,472 --> 00:10:00,017 This whole, uh, Vegas gangster 168 00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:03,270 combined with fleeing to Mexico got me really on edge. 169 00:10:03,353 --> 00:10:06,315 So... And I'm assuming that no one has any Xanax or alcohol. 170 00:10:06,398 --> 00:10:09,568 - So I'm gonna need you... - Oh, babe. 171 00:10:09,651 --> 00:10:11,611 - To follow me... - My sternum. 172 00:10:11,695 --> 00:10:16,533 Into whatever the fuck that thing is and send me into a dopamine coma. 173 00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:17,784 Okay. 174 00:10:19,536 --> 00:10:23,749 Hello, mile high club. So... Oh... 175 00:10:23,832 --> 00:10:26,001 - We're gonna have so much fun. - This is fun. 176 00:10:26,084 --> 00:10:27,377 - Yeah. - This is fun. 177 00:10:34,384 --> 00:10:38,180 A hundred and thirty-eight thousand, seven hundred and ninety-eight dollars. 178 00:10:38,263 --> 00:10:39,264 Damn! 179 00:10:41,224 --> 00:10:44,102 - What you doing? - I am texting Sancho. 180 00:10:44,186 --> 00:10:45,354 Who's Sancho? 181 00:10:45,437 --> 00:10:49,649 He is the concierge at a luxury villa in Gatito, Mexico, that I just booked. 182 00:10:49,733 --> 00:10:51,777 Sounds out of our price range. 183 00:10:51,860 --> 00:10:55,113 - You just said that we have $138,000. - Yeah, but I... 184 00:10:55,197 --> 00:10:57,199 - And it's my honeymoon. - Well, sure. 185 00:10:57,282 --> 00:10:58,533 It's my honeymoon. 186 00:11:00,535 --> 00:11:01,995 - Hey, Buzz? - Yeah? 187 00:11:02,079 --> 00:11:04,748 - We're going to Gatito, Mexico. - Copy that. 188 00:11:04,831 --> 00:11:07,292 - Thanks. - Happy wife, happy life. 189 00:11:07,376 --> 00:11:09,836 Oh, yeah, that is... that is true. 190 00:11:14,716 --> 00:11:16,134 Happy wife, happy life. 191 00:11:17,844 --> 00:11:20,931 - Oh, come on. - What? 192 00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:24,184 You can't tell me that you're not freaking out about this. 193 00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:31,817 Travis, we're married. That means that you're stuck with me forever. 194 00:11:31,900 --> 00:11:34,986 Well, I have had some reservations. 195 00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:38,782 Like the fact that you're beautiful, smart, 196 00:11:38,865 --> 00:11:40,784 can make us a fortune in less than an hour. 197 00:11:40,867 --> 00:11:45,080 But I will never, ever find anyone like you. 198 00:11:46,998 --> 00:11:48,750 Love you so much. 199 00:12:10,564 --> 00:12:12,482 Rise and shine, sleepyheads. 200 00:12:12,566 --> 00:12:15,735 We have arrived at your destination. Méjico. 201 00:12:17,904 --> 00:12:22,534 Open the door and get some air. Take in the view. Don't jump. 202 00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:33,920 The plane, the plane! 203 00:12:34,379 --> 00:12:37,466 It's much smaller, my love. It's a helicopter. 204 00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:44,931 If you get into trouble, you know where to find me. 205 00:12:45,015 --> 00:12:47,434 I also do hostage and rescue situations. 206 00:12:47,517 --> 00:12:48,685 Thanks. 207 00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:53,106 Well, you're a man of your word, Buzz, so, here you go. Thank you. 208 00:12:58,069 --> 00:13:00,655 Hey, honey, I think it's this way. 209 00:13:07,996 --> 00:13:12,959 ♪ My name is Sancho ♪ 210 00:13:13,043 --> 00:13:14,794 ♪ And I want to welcome you ♪ 211 00:13:14,878 --> 00:13:17,964 ♪ To Casa Suave ♪ 212 00:13:18,048 --> 00:13:22,344 ♪ Arriba! Arriba! Arriba! Arriba! ♪ 213 00:13:22,427 --> 00:13:26,056 - Hola! Señor y Señora Maddox! - Gracias! 214 00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:32,139 And your best friends, Mr. Shepley and Miss United States. 215 00:13:32,604 --> 00:13:34,856 Oh, no, America. 216 00:13:34,940 --> 00:13:36,167 My name is America. 217 00:13:36,191 --> 00:13:39,110 America! Home of the brave! 218 00:13:39,194 --> 00:13:41,488 - Hello, Mrs. Maddox. - Hola! 219 00:13:41,571 --> 00:13:43,740 Hello, United States. 220 00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:47,702 Okay, okay, okay. So much to do and so little time. 221 00:13:52,123 --> 00:13:53,291 Don't touch me. 222 00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:09,516 Okay, welcome! Bienvenidos! 223 00:14:09,599 --> 00:14:14,145 This is the room of living. 224 00:14:14,229 --> 00:14:16,356 Here, we have everything. 225 00:14:16,439 --> 00:14:19,192 If you have no clothes, I will give you clothes. 226 00:14:19,276 --> 00:14:20,360 Do you have ESPN? 227 00:14:20,443 --> 00:14:22,755 Because the Sacramento Kings are in the NBA finals tonight, 228 00:14:22,779 --> 00:14:24,447 and I've waited my whole life for this. 229 00:14:24,531 --> 00:14:26,074 ESPN, yes! 230 00:14:26,157 --> 00:14:28,785 Yes! SUV, DUJ. 231 00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:30,579 We have everything. 232 00:14:31,496 --> 00:14:34,457 Right, but do you have ESPN? 233 00:14:34,541 --> 00:14:40,338 ♪ I make dreams come true! ♪ 234 00:14:40,797 --> 00:14:44,926 Look, my friend, blondie, you don't worry. 235 00:14:45,010 --> 00:14:47,929 We have it, we have it, we have it! 236 00:14:48,013 --> 00:14:50,265 Come on! Come, come, come with me. 237 00:14:50,348 --> 00:14:52,601 Come, come, come, come, come. 238 00:14:52,684 --> 00:14:54,853 ♪ Come, come, come, come, come ♪ 239 00:14:54,936 --> 00:14:59,107 Señor Shepley y Señorita Estados Unidos. 240 00:14:59,190 --> 00:15:01,776 -♪ That's not my name ♪ - Come, come, come. 241 00:15:01,860 --> 00:15:03,320 Un momento. 242 00:15:04,279 --> 00:15:05,464 Oh, he said to wait. 243 00:15:05,488 --> 00:15:08,491 Yeah, that's not happening, Señora Maddox. 244 00:15:08,575 --> 00:15:11,369 Who says I'm taking Señora Maddox? 245 00:15:12,495 --> 00:15:15,373 I like my name. Abby Abernathy is a great name. 246 00:15:15,457 --> 00:15:16,958 It has a really good flow to it. 247 00:15:17,042 --> 00:15:21,588 Oh, but Travis Abernathy? You could be trendsetting. 248 00:15:21,671 --> 00:15:25,842 - You wanna castrate me too? - No. 249 00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:27,677 - Hey, wait! - What? 250 00:15:28,970 --> 00:15:31,473 You almost just crossed the threshold. 251 00:15:32,307 --> 00:15:33,642 Oh! 252 00:15:33,725 --> 00:15:35,244 - It's bad luck, you know. - Oh, my God. 253 00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:37,604 You know we Maddoxes have our own form of this tradition? 254 00:15:37,687 --> 00:15:39,439 - Really? - Mm-hmm. 255 00:15:39,522 --> 00:15:43,109 Well, this isn't too barbaric. Oh, my God. 256 00:15:43,193 --> 00:15:46,363 - Horny. - Oh, my God! This is so cute. 257 00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:48,448 - Yeah! - Look, look, look! It has our initials! 258 00:15:48,531 --> 00:15:52,535 Wait. Hold on. Wait, wait, wait. I wanna get a photo. I wanna get a photo. Okay. 259 00:15:52,619 --> 00:15:54,621 - No, I want you to hold me for the photo. - Okay. 260 00:15:54,704 --> 00:15:56,623 - Lift me up. - Lifting. 261 00:15:56,706 --> 00:15:59,334 - Smile. - Okay. Okay, okay. 262 00:15:59,417 --> 00:16:01,878 Okay. Now get one of me on the bed. 263 00:16:04,923 --> 00:16:08,677 No, actually, will you hold it lower? And then will you flip it? 264 00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:10,261 - You like it? - I like it, yeah. 265 00:16:10,345 --> 00:16:12,055 Will you do one more flipped the other way? 266 00:16:12,138 --> 00:16:13,973 - Got it. I got it, I got it. - Got it? 267 00:16:14,057 --> 00:16:15,892 - Okay, do you want one on the bed? - No. 268 00:16:17,519 --> 00:16:20,397 No, but it was so cute with our initials on it. 269 00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:24,275 T and A. It stands for titty and ass, 'cause you got the best. 270 00:16:24,359 --> 00:16:25,610 Oh! 271 00:16:26,736 --> 00:16:28,947 You are such a neanderthal. 272 00:16:29,030 --> 00:16:31,616 Ooo-gah. Ooo-gah. 273 00:16:32,450 --> 00:16:33,702 - Ooh. - Ooh-gah? 274 00:16:33,785 --> 00:16:35,745 Ooo-gah hate this pillow. 275 00:16:35,829 --> 00:16:37,789 Does Ooo-gah wanna consummate this marriage? 276 00:16:37,872 --> 00:16:39,791 - Ooo-gah wanna fuck. - Yeah? 277 00:16:39,874 --> 00:16:42,419 Ooo-gah. Ooo-gah. 278 00:16:55,473 --> 00:16:56,349 Adios! 279 00:16:56,433 --> 00:16:57,934 - No, thank you. - No, thank you! 280 00:16:58,017 --> 00:16:59,936 - No, gracias! - No, thank you. 281 00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:04,399 Thank you. No, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. 282 00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:10,029 I don't know about you, but hearing a traditional Mexican song about a cockroach 283 00:17:10,113 --> 00:17:11,865 really gets me in the mood. 284 00:17:11,948 --> 00:17:14,826 Here. How about this? 285 00:17:14,909 --> 00:17:17,245 Thank you. Much better. 286 00:17:18,288 --> 00:17:19,998 - Where were we? - Come here. 287 00:17:28,757 --> 00:17:30,008 Condoms... 288 00:17:31,176 --> 00:17:33,136 Shit. 289 00:17:33,219 --> 00:17:36,055 Is this the only protection we have? 290 00:17:36,639 --> 00:17:39,809 - I didn't bring any. Did you? - No. 291 00:17:39,893 --> 00:17:43,563 Wait a minute. We don't need protection. We're married. 292 00:17:43,646 --> 00:17:46,191 Easy, Dracula. 293 00:17:46,274 --> 00:17:49,319 I'm too young to be married, let alone have a kid. 294 00:17:50,945 --> 00:17:54,741 - We can pull out. - No. 295 00:17:54,824 --> 00:17:57,660 I have complete control over my seminal fluid emission. 296 00:17:57,744 --> 00:18:02,165 That's a cliché that's caused, like, thousands of unwanted pregnancies. 297 00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:08,338 We could do other things. Other things like... 298 00:18:11,341 --> 00:18:12,341 this. 299 00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:15,720 That's interesting. 300 00:18:16,513 --> 00:18:21,643 I was thinking other things like... this. 301 00:18:23,228 --> 00:18:26,773 Ooh. That's interesting. 302 00:18:27,857 --> 00:18:29,859 Yeah, this is good. 303 00:18:31,402 --> 00:18:32,821 This is better, actually. 304 00:18:33,738 --> 00:18:36,157 - This is fun. - This is fun. 305 00:18:36,241 --> 00:18:39,202 - I'm glad we're doing this. - Yeah, right? I'm glad we're doing this. 306 00:18:39,285 --> 00:18:42,330 - We should really do it more often. - I agree. No, this is great. 307 00:18:42,413 --> 00:18:45,625 - Those are my balls. - Mm-hmm. 308 00:18:45,708 --> 00:18:47,794 - It's cool. - A little faster? 309 00:18:47,877 --> 00:18:52,298 Yeah, let's go really fast right now. Let's kick this up a notch. 310 00:18:54,425 --> 00:18:57,178 Are you satisfied? I'm satisfied. 311 00:18:59,013 --> 00:19:00,807 - No. - Come here. 312 00:19:01,516 --> 00:19:02,767 - Okay. - Okay. 313 00:19:04,477 --> 00:19:05,854 Get 'em off. Get 'em off. 314 00:19:10,608 --> 00:19:12,819 - We're gonna be safe, right? - Yeah. 315 00:19:12,902 --> 00:19:15,196 - You're not gonna get a drop! - I promise. 316 00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:17,115 - Got it? - Mm-hmm. 317 00:19:22,203 --> 00:19:24,789 - Just an inch. - An inch. 318 00:19:24,873 --> 00:19:27,166 - Just an inch. - An inch. 319 00:19:27,250 --> 00:19:29,252 Hey! 320 00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:32,672 - Yeah. - Yeah. 321 00:19:32,755 --> 00:19:35,133 It's a nice inch. 322 00:19:36,050 --> 00:19:37,969 - Maybe like a little... - Another inch? 323 00:19:38,052 --> 00:19:40,847 A little bit more. Like another inch? Yeah, okay, another inch. 324 00:19:40,930 --> 00:19:42,390 - Whoo. - Another inch. 325 00:19:42,473 --> 00:19:43,474 Another inch. 326 00:19:44,642 --> 00:19:47,645 Yeah, but... maybe like a... 327 00:19:48,479 --> 00:19:51,733 - You're gonna have to be more clear. - Maybe just... 328 00:19:51,816 --> 00:19:52,859 I don't under... 329 00:19:52,942 --> 00:19:55,236 Whoa. 330 00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:57,280 Oh. Whoa. 331 00:19:57,363 --> 00:19:58,865 - Ah. - Whoa. 332 00:19:58,948 --> 00:20:00,491 - Now, that's in. - Yeah. Ah. 333 00:20:00,575 --> 00:20:04,329 That feels way better without the rubber. Yeah, like, whoa. Okay. 334 00:20:05,371 --> 00:20:07,916 Oh. Oh! Whoa. 335 00:20:09,167 --> 00:20:13,338 - Babe, you're blocking my escape hatch. - Oh, I'm so close. 336 00:20:13,421 --> 00:20:17,091 Well, I know, but so am I. That's why this is a problem. 337 00:20:17,175 --> 00:20:19,052 - Oh, goddammit! - Oh! 338 00:20:22,347 --> 00:20:24,599 - Go get me a condom, like, now! - Where? 339 00:20:24,682 --> 00:20:26,809 It's not like there's a CVS across the street. 340 00:20:26,893 --> 00:20:28,895 I don't know. Shep. Shepley must have condoms. 341 00:20:28,978 --> 00:20:30,605 Okay, fine, I'm going! 342 00:20:37,153 --> 00:20:39,030 Sorpresa! 343 00:20:39,113 --> 00:20:40,198 Hola! 344 00:20:40,281 --> 00:20:43,409 No, no, don't touch the pillow. 345 00:20:43,493 --> 00:20:44,494 Uh... 346 00:20:48,915 --> 00:20:52,418 Hey, Travis. You got any con... You got any condoms on you? 347 00:20:52,502 --> 00:20:55,254 'Cause I... 'Cause I ran out. 348 00:21:12,814 --> 00:21:15,024 Buenas noches, Señor Maddox. 349 00:21:15,108 --> 00:21:16,526 Buenas noches. 350 00:21:16,609 --> 00:21:18,903 - You look like a man in love. - Thank you. 351 00:21:18,987 --> 00:21:21,364 - A man's man in love. - Thanks. 352 00:21:21,447 --> 00:21:23,992 - A man's man... man... - Where's my wife? 353 00:21:26,035 --> 00:21:27,412 She's ready. 354 00:21:30,331 --> 00:21:32,417 - Ta-da! - Wow. 355 00:21:32,500 --> 00:21:34,961 - You look amazing. - Thank you. 356 00:21:36,504 --> 00:21:37,547 So do you. 357 00:21:38,673 --> 00:21:41,175 Your dinner is ready. 358 00:21:42,051 --> 00:21:43,344 Por favor. 359 00:21:49,976 --> 00:21:53,312 - Wow. Look at this. - This is beautiful. 360 00:21:53,396 --> 00:21:54,772 Thank you. 361 00:21:56,232 --> 00:21:58,359 Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh. 362 00:21:59,569 --> 00:22:01,404 Sit. There you go. 363 00:22:01,487 --> 00:22:02,363 There you go. 364 00:22:02,447 --> 00:22:04,073 Very good. Very good. 365 00:22:04,157 --> 00:22:10,157 Now, Pino has prepared a traditional seven-course meal 366 00:22:11,205 --> 00:22:13,291 for newlyweds especially. 367 00:22:13,374 --> 00:22:17,211 - Thank you. - Okay. Enjoy. Huh. 368 00:22:19,088 --> 00:22:20,506 Pino? 369 00:22:21,090 --> 00:22:24,177 Well, here's to us. 370 00:22:24,260 --> 00:22:25,970 And happily ever after. 371 00:22:26,054 --> 00:22:28,306 - I love you, pigeon. - I love you too. 372 00:22:34,896 --> 00:22:36,981 So, I, uh, I made this. 373 00:22:37,065 --> 00:22:39,609 - I didn't know we were doing gifts. - Yeah. 374 00:22:39,692 --> 00:22:42,862 It's just a little something I made on the flight while you were sleeping. 375 00:22:43,780 --> 00:22:46,699 - Travis, I love you so much. - I love you too. 376 00:22:48,117 --> 00:22:50,620 - What is it? - It's a pro/con list. 377 00:22:50,703 --> 00:22:54,040 - To see if we should stay married or... - Or...? 378 00:22:54,123 --> 00:22:56,542 Or we get a quick annulment. 379 00:22:57,585 --> 00:23:00,046 Whoopsies. What happened? 380 00:23:00,129 --> 00:23:01,923 Why is it so decorated? 381 00:23:02,006 --> 00:23:04,550 I thought that maybe if you saw how much effort I put into it 382 00:23:04,634 --> 00:23:06,969 you would... you'd maybe like it. 383 00:23:07,053 --> 00:23:11,057 I don't like it. This is like getting cancer news framed. 384 00:23:11,140 --> 00:23:12,225 This is a pro/con list. 385 00:23:12,308 --> 00:23:14,977 Just to help us gain some clarity, only while we're here. 386 00:23:15,061 --> 00:23:19,732 And, look, I even gave us a 30-point head start because you have the biggest dick. 387 00:23:19,816 --> 00:23:22,652 - Who's got a big dick? - This guy. 388 00:23:23,277 --> 00:23:26,072 I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! 389 00:23:26,155 --> 00:23:30,368 That is why you are so self-confident. 390 00:23:30,451 --> 00:23:35,623 I knew a powerful and successful man 391 00:23:35,706 --> 00:23:38,668 who, alas, had a small dick... 392 00:23:38,751 --> 00:23:41,021 I'll agree to this if you get him to stop talking about it. 393 00:23:41,045 --> 00:23:43,714 Deal. Sancho, what is this? 394 00:23:43,798 --> 00:23:47,760 Soup. That is soup. That is the first course. Yes. 395 00:23:47,844 --> 00:23:49,004 Enjoy your meal. 396 00:23:49,053 --> 00:23:50,847 I shall be back. 397 00:23:55,351 --> 00:23:57,353 Yum. 398 00:23:57,436 --> 00:24:01,691 Mmm. This is amazing. 399 00:24:02,900 --> 00:24:06,445 You know, this reminds me of this one time when I was really young. 400 00:24:06,529 --> 00:24:10,867 I think I was... I don't know, I must have been around 12 or something. 401 00:24:10,950 --> 00:24:15,955 And my grandmother, she's passed, but she was so funny and wonderful. 402 00:24:16,038 --> 00:24:17,039 Well, screw her. 403 00:24:17,874 --> 00:24:20,501 - Screw my dead grandmother? - Oh. 404 00:24:21,669 --> 00:24:25,506 - When do I get to meet her? - What? Travis, are you listening to me? 405 00:24:25,590 --> 00:24:28,384 I'm sorry. I'm not feeling very well. 406 00:24:28,467 --> 00:24:31,137 I do not want to ruin this moment. 407 00:24:31,220 --> 00:24:33,472 I'm gonna run off and throw up. 408 00:24:33,556 --> 00:24:36,642 - And I will be right back, okay? - Oh, no. Okay. 409 00:24:38,895 --> 00:24:40,605 I love you. 410 00:24:42,481 --> 00:24:43,900 So happy we're married! 411 00:24:45,401 --> 00:24:48,154 - What's the score? - Fourth quarter just started. 412 00:24:48,237 --> 00:24:50,114 - We're down by 12. - Fuck! 413 00:24:51,115 --> 00:24:52,241 Yeah. 414 00:24:52,783 --> 00:24:55,453 Dude, you're about to lose a thousand bucks. 415 00:24:56,787 --> 00:24:58,080 Shit! 416 00:25:02,543 --> 00:25:05,004 - Are you feeling better? - Uh, yeah. Feeling better. 417 00:25:05,087 --> 00:25:06,797 Mmm, soup. 418 00:25:11,969 --> 00:25:15,723 Oh, somebody liked the soup. 419 00:25:15,806 --> 00:25:18,142 Ah. It was delicious, Sancho. I'm stuffed. 420 00:25:18,226 --> 00:25:21,103 No, that is only the first course, señor. 421 00:25:21,187 --> 00:25:23,272 - There are six more. - Six? 422 00:25:23,356 --> 00:25:25,316 Can we bring them all out at the same time? 423 00:25:25,399 --> 00:25:27,360 - Uh, sure. - That's not how it works, Travis. 424 00:25:27,443 --> 00:25:29,820 - Well, I'm just trying to be efficient. - No, it's okay. 425 00:25:29,904 --> 00:25:33,032 Okay, it's not a problem. I can handle this. 426 00:25:34,033 --> 00:25:35,618 - Pino! - It's fine. It's fine. 427 00:25:35,701 --> 00:25:38,371 - No, please. - I... No triangle. 428 00:25:39,580 --> 00:25:40,623 It always works. 429 00:25:40,706 --> 00:25:43,251 Pino, where are you, shithead? 430 00:25:45,419 --> 00:25:49,048 - Are you okay? - Yeah. I'm fine. 431 00:25:51,467 --> 00:25:53,302 - So, how's your dad? - What? 432 00:25:55,012 --> 00:25:57,974 I'm sorry. I was just trying to make conversation. 433 00:25:58,057 --> 00:25:59,642 I'm not feeling too good. 434 00:26:01,936 --> 00:26:03,521 - Score? - We're down by two. 435 00:26:03,604 --> 00:26:04,605 Yes! 436 00:26:06,399 --> 00:26:08,651 - Dude, you can't miss this! - Fuck dinner, fuck dinner. 437 00:26:08,734 --> 00:26:10,278 - One minute. - Yeah. 438 00:26:12,863 --> 00:26:15,741 - Okay, there we go. There we go. - Whoo. 439 00:26:17,868 --> 00:26:21,872 Oh, you can just leave that next to his soup. He's not feeling well. 440 00:26:22,999 --> 00:26:24,792 Yeah! Ah! 441 00:26:26,669 --> 00:26:28,796 - Oh! - Oh! Oh, my God! 442 00:26:28,879 --> 00:26:31,674 - Oh, my God! Let's go, baby! - It's happening! It's happening! 443 00:26:31,757 --> 00:26:33,676 Come here! Come here, baby! Come here! 444 00:26:33,759 --> 00:26:35,678 - Whaa! - Come here. 445 00:26:37,972 --> 00:26:40,308 - Dude, I can't believe it! - Fucking blow my back! 446 00:26:40,391 --> 00:26:42,643 - Blow it out! - Whoa! 447 00:26:42,727 --> 00:26:44,103 - Blow my back! - Okay, okay. 448 00:26:44,186 --> 00:26:47,732 - Oh! Maddox special. - Maddox special. 449 00:26:47,815 --> 00:26:49,567 Wait, wait, wait. I need to look sick. 450 00:26:49,650 --> 00:26:51,569 Oh, yeah. You look a little too good. 451 00:26:51,652 --> 00:26:53,279 - Soak me! - Okay. 452 00:26:53,362 --> 00:26:54,363 Soak me! 453 00:26:55,531 --> 00:26:56,532 Fucking get me! 454 00:26:59,577 --> 00:27:03,080 Are you okay? How's your tummy? You look a little bit clammy. 455 00:27:04,540 --> 00:27:07,460 I'm... fine. 456 00:27:07,543 --> 00:27:08,836 I was, um... 457 00:27:10,379 --> 00:27:13,257 The game and... How mad are you? 458 00:27:13,341 --> 00:27:17,094 Well, you bailed on wedding night dinner. Minus five points. 459 00:27:17,178 --> 00:27:19,513 You lied. Minus five points. 460 00:27:19,597 --> 00:27:23,351 And then you insulted my dead grandmother. Minus five points. 461 00:27:23,434 --> 00:27:24,935 Shit, that's a lot of points. 462 00:27:25,978 --> 00:27:29,398 Knowing he had fucked up really bad, 463 00:27:29,482 --> 00:27:33,903 Travis planned the happiest two days of Abby's life. 464 00:29:31,145 --> 00:29:33,981 Left hand green. 465 00:29:35,274 --> 00:29:36,942 Fire in the hole. 466 00:29:39,195 --> 00:29:42,698 If you were smart, you'd quit. 467 00:29:42,781 --> 00:29:47,244 - Yeah, but then you'd never respect me. - Who says I ever respected you? 468 00:29:49,705 --> 00:29:53,918 Oh, no. Oh! No, don't. Don't you... 469 00:29:54,001 --> 00:29:57,129 - Okay, you know what? - No, no, no, no, no, no! 470 00:29:57,213 --> 00:29:58,589 - Why, dude? - Stop. 471 00:29:58,672 --> 00:30:00,883 ♪ What's a matter you, hey ♪ 472 00:30:00,966 --> 00:30:02,885 ♪ Gotta no respect, hey ♪ 473 00:30:02,968 --> 00:30:04,887 ♪ What a you think you do, hey ♪ 474 00:30:04,970 --> 00:30:06,847 ♪ Why you looking so sad, hey ♪ 475 00:30:06,931 --> 00:30:08,891 ♪ It's not so bad, hey ♪ 476 00:30:08,974 --> 00:30:10,601 ♪ It's a nice a place ♪ 477 00:30:10,684 --> 00:30:12,186 ♪ Ah shaddap-a you face ♪ 478 00:30:15,189 --> 00:30:18,317 Oh, oh, oh, oh. You're a stork. Yeah, you're an angry stork. 479 00:30:18,859 --> 00:30:21,737 I... I don't know. I don't... What are you doing? 480 00:30:21,820 --> 00:30:23,405 - Damn. What? - You're... 481 00:30:23,489 --> 00:30:26,534 - Baby pterodactyl. - Thank you. Thank you. 482 00:30:26,617 --> 00:30:27,493 How did you get that? 483 00:30:27,576 --> 00:30:30,204 You're good at cards, I'm good at charades. 484 00:30:30,287 --> 00:30:31,455 I'd love to just hunt one. 485 00:30:31,539 --> 00:30:34,917 Have a little baby pterodactyl above the fireplace. 486 00:30:36,168 --> 00:30:38,629 How about we just stick to deer? You're up. 487 00:30:42,341 --> 00:30:43,341 Movie. 488 00:30:44,260 --> 00:30:46,428 - American in Paris. - Yes! Winner. 489 00:30:46,512 --> 00:30:48,264 - This is rigged. - How's it rigged? 490 00:30:48,764 --> 00:30:50,891 She pointed to me, and it's her favorite movie. 491 00:30:50,975 --> 00:30:53,185 I didn't know that was your favorite movie. 492 00:30:53,269 --> 00:30:54,853 I've always planned on living in Paris. 493 00:30:54,937 --> 00:30:57,815 How am I gonna pursue criminal justice living in Paris? 494 00:30:58,983 --> 00:31:00,401 I don't know. 495 00:31:01,277 --> 00:31:05,406 I mean, I also didn't know that we were gonna get married after three months. 496 00:31:08,784 --> 00:31:12,705 Okay, new game. Um, how about Never Have I Ever? 497 00:31:12,788 --> 00:31:17,626 My favorite game. I always lose, you know. 498 00:31:17,710 --> 00:31:22,423 Okay, I will start. Never have I ever joined the mile high club. 499 00:31:23,465 --> 00:31:26,552 - The mile high? - Sex on a plane. 500 00:31:27,845 --> 00:31:33,726 Um, long time ago back when, uh, Pan Am, 501 00:31:33,809 --> 00:31:36,353 I satisfied many. 502 00:31:36,437 --> 00:31:38,439 - Oh, did you? - You? 503 00:31:38,522 --> 00:31:44,194 Yeah, yeah, no, I... I've broken down a few lavatory doors on United myself. 504 00:31:44,278 --> 00:31:48,616 No. I knew we had something in common. 505 00:31:48,699 --> 00:31:52,453 - Yes, my friend. - Yeah. Yes. 506 00:31:52,536 --> 00:31:53,662 I'm gonna go for a walk. 507 00:31:55,289 --> 00:31:58,250 Uh-oh. I said something bad. 508 00:31:58,334 --> 00:32:01,462 - What's her problem? - What's your problem? 509 00:32:11,972 --> 00:32:13,641 You wanna talk about it? 510 00:32:15,225 --> 00:32:16,435 Talk about what? 511 00:32:17,227 --> 00:32:20,147 How we're married and we barely know each other? 512 00:32:21,148 --> 00:32:23,442 - That's not true. - I mean, kind of. 513 00:32:23,525 --> 00:32:28,489 I wanna move to Paris, and apparently you love having sex on airplanes. 514 00:32:28,572 --> 00:32:32,493 Have you ever stopped to think maybe why I'm against an annulment? 515 00:32:32,576 --> 00:32:34,376 What couple do you know that has survived one? 516 00:32:37,706 --> 00:32:38,706 Hmm? 517 00:32:43,128 --> 00:32:44,463 I see your point. 518 00:32:45,589 --> 00:32:51,470 Look, if you're worried about Paris, screw it, let's move to Paris. 519 00:32:52,012 --> 00:32:56,350 I can promise you, we'll never have a dull moment. 520 00:32:57,893 --> 00:32:59,645 I have no doubt. 521 00:32:59,728 --> 00:33:03,440 Speaking of which, have you ever had pool sex? 522 00:33:04,400 --> 00:33:05,901 Excuse me? 523 00:33:09,029 --> 00:33:11,532 Is it anything like shower sex? 524 00:33:11,615 --> 00:33:14,576 It is. Only it's a lot prettier in movies. 525 00:33:14,660 --> 00:33:17,830 Well, I think I'm gonna pass on anything of yours entering me 526 00:33:17,913 --> 00:33:19,748 until it's wearing a raincoat. 527 00:33:25,295 --> 00:33:29,091 Abby and Travis thought the worst was over, 528 00:33:29,174 --> 00:33:32,845 but the worst was yet to come. 529 00:33:56,076 --> 00:33:57,119 Oh! 530 00:33:58,495 --> 00:34:01,874 Wow. Oh! Ooh. 531 00:34:06,211 --> 00:34:07,755 - Yeah? - Throw, catch. 532 00:34:07,838 --> 00:34:10,132 Throw, catch. Throw, catch. 533 00:34:10,215 --> 00:34:13,218 You have such good coordination. I don't think I could do it. 534 00:34:18,807 --> 00:34:21,018 Ooh. So close. Again? 535 00:34:21,101 --> 00:34:23,645 Throw, catch. Throw, catch. 536 00:34:25,105 --> 00:34:27,733 - Morning. - Buenos días, señor Maddox. 537 00:34:30,319 --> 00:34:31,779 Those are good grapes, huh? 538 00:34:34,114 --> 00:34:36,325 I guess you don't like 'em. 539 00:34:39,286 --> 00:34:41,038 Órale. 540 00:34:50,672 --> 00:34:52,758 - I should get back to work. - Yeah. 541 00:34:59,139 --> 00:35:01,517 - It's cute, right? - Oh, it's adorable. 542 00:35:01,600 --> 00:35:03,769 - Would you hunt this? - What? 543 00:35:03,852 --> 00:35:06,396 - Have this up on your mantle? - What? 544 00:35:08,690 --> 00:35:10,984 - That's a lot of salt, babe. - Yeah, I like salt. 545 00:35:11,068 --> 00:35:12,361 Do you not know that about me? 546 00:35:12,444 --> 00:35:14,071 Buenos días. 547 00:35:14,154 --> 00:35:15,155 - Buenos días. - Hey. 548 00:35:15,239 --> 00:35:16,240 Good morning. 549 00:35:29,503 --> 00:35:32,589 - Is that all I get? - I said hi to you this morning. 550 00:35:33,006 --> 00:35:36,301 Oh. Is that what that was, when you showed your cock to the worker? 551 00:35:37,845 --> 00:35:41,139 Well, you were so busy juggling balls, I thought I'd show you mine. 552 00:35:41,223 --> 00:35:45,018 - Can't have everything, I guess. - Yeah, guess you can't. 553 00:35:52,818 --> 00:35:55,404 Hey. So what's going on? What happened this morning? 554 00:35:56,238 --> 00:35:57,990 Come on, talk to me. 555 00:35:58,073 --> 00:35:59,884 Well, there was this guy, and he was outside juggling. 556 00:35:59,908 --> 00:36:01,845 - And I've always wanted to know how to... - Mare! 557 00:36:01,869 --> 00:36:04,913 - What is wrong with everyone today? - Mare, where are you? 558 00:36:04,997 --> 00:36:07,833 So, your new friend gonna join us down at the beach? 559 00:36:07,916 --> 00:36:11,670 His name is Miguel, and, no, because you scared him off with your big dick. 560 00:36:11,753 --> 00:36:12,838 Mare! 561 00:36:14,089 --> 00:36:17,050 Hey, guys. Hey, hey. Have you seen Mare? 562 00:36:21,346 --> 00:36:24,141 - Look, I know I can be possessive. - You? No. 563 00:36:24,224 --> 00:36:27,519 - I just don't like when guys touch you. - Well, Travis, you have to get over that. 564 00:36:27,603 --> 00:36:29,354 What if I have a male gynecologist one day? 565 00:36:29,438 --> 00:36:31,315 Why would you have a male gynecologist 566 00:36:31,398 --> 00:36:33,400 when there's perfectly good female gynecologists? 567 00:36:33,483 --> 00:36:35,277 What about female empowerment? 568 00:36:35,360 --> 00:36:36,963 Isn't that what the diversity movement's all about? 569 00:36:36,987 --> 00:36:39,406 Oh, my God, I hate you right now. 570 00:36:39,489 --> 00:36:41,533 Look who's not being progressive. 571 00:36:41,617 --> 00:36:43,493 Mare? 572 00:36:43,577 --> 00:36:44,995 Mare? 573 00:36:46,872 --> 00:36:48,582 - You miss me? - Ugh. 574 00:36:50,918 --> 00:36:54,129 Hey. Hey, have you guys seen a small American girl? 575 00:36:55,047 --> 00:36:56,965 We don't speak English. 576 00:36:59,217 --> 00:37:01,261 We're looking for our friends. 577 00:37:01,345 --> 00:37:03,013 Whoo. 578 00:37:03,096 --> 00:37:05,641 You must have a lot of friends. 579 00:37:05,724 --> 00:37:07,476 Whee! 580 00:37:07,559 --> 00:37:09,227 Uh... Uh... 581 00:37:09,311 --> 00:37:12,814 Our friends are from the United States. 582 00:37:12,898 --> 00:37:14,775 Are they as cute as you are? 583 00:37:17,402 --> 00:37:18,487 I'm Blanca. 584 00:37:18,570 --> 00:37:19,570 I'm Travis. 585 00:37:20,322 --> 00:37:21,949 Are you here on vacation? 586 00:37:23,116 --> 00:37:24,785 Yes - vacation. 587 00:37:24,868 --> 00:37:25,786 Yes! 588 00:37:25,869 --> 00:37:27,496 Are you having fun? 589 00:37:28,997 --> 00:37:30,582 It's a good color, right? 590 00:37:30,666 --> 00:37:32,352 - She didn't like the color before. - Oh. I didn't. 591 00:37:32,376 --> 00:37:34,211 I don't speak English! 592 00:37:34,294 --> 00:37:36,213 Oh, yeah. Sí, Inglés. 593 00:37:36,296 --> 00:37:37,297 And this? 594 00:37:37,839 --> 00:37:40,676 Watch. It gets bigger. 595 00:37:41,343 --> 00:37:42,886 It took a while. 596 00:37:46,348 --> 00:37:47,348 What does it mean? 597 00:37:47,683 --> 00:37:49,059 Oh, yeah. It's... 598 00:37:49,142 --> 00:37:50,602 Ah. 599 00:37:50,686 --> 00:37:52,145 One moment... 600 00:37:55,190 --> 00:37:56,608 Hey. Hey, hey, hey. 601 00:37:57,818 --> 00:37:59,987 - Where'd you go? - You seemed distracted. 602 00:38:00,070 --> 00:38:02,048 Well, I was just trying to find out where our friends were. 603 00:38:02,072 --> 00:38:03,712 I didn't ask them to take their tops off. 604 00:38:03,782 --> 00:38:05,200 Oh, okay. 605 00:38:05,283 --> 00:38:07,369 Look, look, look, look. It's a topless beach. 606 00:38:07,452 --> 00:38:10,747 See? I don't make the rules here. Boobies, boobs, tits. 607 00:38:11,540 --> 00:38:14,793 Yeah. Yeah! Travis, you know what? You're right. 608 00:38:14,876 --> 00:38:17,796 Thanks. No, honestly, I wasn't trying to cause trouble or anything. 609 00:38:19,673 --> 00:38:22,300 - What are you doing? - You said it was a topless beach. 610 00:38:22,384 --> 00:38:24,928 - That doesn't apply to foreigners! - Oh, that is absurd. 611 00:38:25,012 --> 00:38:26,739 - Photos! Portraits! - You're absurd! 612 00:38:26,763 --> 00:38:28,098 Please... 613 00:38:28,849 --> 00:38:31,852 - What is this, OnlyFans? Fuck off! - You're a psycho! 614 00:38:31,935 --> 00:38:35,105 - Leave me alone. - Cover your titties! 615 00:38:35,188 --> 00:38:40,027 Ay, caramba! 616 00:38:41,319 --> 00:38:43,039 Come back, baby. I make movies. 617 00:38:56,752 --> 00:39:01,131 Mare! Mare! Mare, look! Look, I'm shedding my inhibitions! 618 00:39:05,927 --> 00:39:08,638 Hey, hey, hey. She's the one that took her top off. 619 00:39:15,979 --> 00:39:16,897 Central! 620 00:39:30,368 --> 00:39:31,453 Travis! 621 00:39:36,708 --> 00:39:38,043 Hey, blondie. 622 00:39:41,671 --> 00:39:44,841 It's the police! You're under arrest. 623 00:39:46,927 --> 00:39:48,053 Really? 624 00:40:04,528 --> 00:40:07,864 Come on, Darius. Just give me five more minutes. 625 00:40:07,948 --> 00:40:10,450 - Mmm. - Look, I got a crisis on my hands. 626 00:40:10,534 --> 00:40:14,496 - So just please, okay? Please. - Mmm. 627 00:40:14,579 --> 00:40:17,165 What is so important that you need me on a Sunday? 628 00:40:19,167 --> 00:40:20,335 What do you mean? 629 00:40:21,878 --> 00:40:24,214 Her stripper name is Pocahontas. 630 00:40:24,297 --> 00:40:26,675 She needs to wear the headdress. 631 00:40:26,758 --> 00:40:31,263 I have had enough of this culturally inappropriate woke shit. The last... 632 00:40:34,182 --> 00:40:37,102 What did I tell you about sneaking up on me? 633 00:40:37,185 --> 00:40:39,813 Sorry, sir. Sorry. Sorry, sir. 634 00:40:42,315 --> 00:40:44,192 I'll call you back. 635 00:40:46,862 --> 00:40:49,948 Oh, my... I guess this is their way of staying under the radar. 636 00:40:50,574 --> 00:40:51,741 Ass-hats. 637 00:40:53,201 --> 00:40:56,538 Gatito? I know this place. 638 00:40:56,621 --> 00:40:59,457 Darius and I fell in love down here. 639 00:40:59,541 --> 00:41:01,710 Call Vince, take a couple of guys down there, 640 00:41:01,793 --> 00:41:04,379 and go get me my money and a couple of fingers. 641 00:41:04,462 --> 00:41:06,173 - Fingers? - Yeah, fingers. 642 00:41:06,256 --> 00:41:09,634 No, no, forget it. I'm gonna take care of this myself. 643 00:41:09,718 --> 00:41:13,013 What time's the next flight? 644 00:41:13,096 --> 00:41:14,306 Darius! 645 00:41:19,102 --> 00:41:21,396 Darius! Dari... 646 00:41:25,150 --> 00:41:29,696 So... I posted your bail. 647 00:41:31,031 --> 00:41:33,325 But since you don't have passports, 648 00:41:34,201 --> 00:41:35,702 you're gonna have to wait. 649 00:41:54,679 --> 00:41:56,848 Thank you, guys, for bailing us out and being so nice. 650 00:41:56,932 --> 00:41:58,767 I'm just sorry my husband is so rude. 651 00:41:58,850 --> 00:42:02,437 Well, I wouldn't have to be so rude if my wife would just respect some of my... 652 00:42:02,520 --> 00:42:04,481 Rules? Are you gonna house-break me too? 653 00:42:04,564 --> 00:42:07,442 I was gonna say "requests," like when we're on our honeymoon 654 00:42:07,525 --> 00:42:11,821 surrounded by a few hundred horny spring-break TikTok obsessed douchebags, 655 00:42:11,905 --> 00:42:13,925 - maybe don't show your tit... - Oh, do not say the T word. 656 00:42:13,949 --> 00:42:16,260 If you say the T word, I am jumping out of this car, Travis, 657 00:42:16,284 --> 00:42:18,036 and out of your life, I mean it. 658 00:42:18,119 --> 00:42:19,555 That's a bullshit way to end an argument, Abby. 659 00:42:19,579 --> 00:42:22,540 - I don't care. - Then don't show your titties! 660 00:42:22,624 --> 00:42:25,186 - Titties, titties, titties, titties! - Oh, fuck you, Travis Maddox. 661 00:42:25,210 --> 00:42:26,753 - Fuck you! - Titties, titties! 662 00:42:27,796 --> 00:42:31,424 - Abby, get back here. - No, no, wait, wait. Señor Travis. No. 663 00:42:31,508 --> 00:42:34,302 - Take your hands off me. - Miguel can take care of her. 664 00:42:34,386 --> 00:42:37,222 She's my wife. She just has a bad habit of running away. 665 00:42:37,305 --> 00:42:39,599 Yes, because she is running from you. 666 00:42:46,940 --> 00:42:50,485 I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I was just... I'm just looking for my ride. 667 00:42:52,153 --> 00:42:53,947 I was just looking for a friend of mine. 668 00:42:54,030 --> 00:42:57,867 Angel! Why do you bring your family such shame? 669 00:42:57,951 --> 00:43:00,704 Go home! All of you, now! 670 00:43:03,331 --> 00:43:06,501 - Are you okay? - Yeah. Yeah, that was... 671 00:43:07,752 --> 00:43:09,504 I could really use a drink. 672 00:43:11,172 --> 00:43:12,299 Thank you. 673 00:43:16,344 --> 00:43:19,764 Hey. If you could at least text me to let me know you're alive, 674 00:43:19,848 --> 00:43:21,516 that would be much fucking appreciated! 675 00:43:21,599 --> 00:43:25,270 - Jesus. Is that the way you talk to her? - What the fuck do you want? 676 00:43:25,353 --> 00:43:27,063 What the fuck do I... 677 00:43:28,273 --> 00:43:31,776 Let me be clear. I think you're being an asshole. 678 00:43:31,860 --> 00:43:36,239 And I think that getting married at 19 is the dumbest shit in the world. 679 00:43:38,158 --> 00:43:41,911 But all I care about right now is my best friend, and she's in love with you. 680 00:43:42,287 --> 00:43:43,496 Yeah, I love her too. 681 00:43:43,580 --> 00:43:47,250 - What's the problem? - The problem is you're suffocating her! 682 00:43:47,334 --> 00:43:50,295 You're suffocating her, and she has a bad habit of disappearing, 683 00:43:50,378 --> 00:43:52,672 and I don't want that to happen to either of us. 684 00:43:56,843 --> 00:43:58,553 Buenas noches, Miguel. 685 00:44:01,139 --> 00:44:03,308 Well, aren't you super popular? 686 00:44:03,391 --> 00:44:04,976 - Hola, Miguel. - Hola. 687 00:44:05,060 --> 00:44:06,853 That wasn't always the case. 688 00:44:07,771 --> 00:44:10,190 I find that so hard to believe. 689 00:44:10,273 --> 00:44:11,858 You're way too nice. 690 00:44:13,401 --> 00:44:14,402 What's your back story? 691 00:44:16,529 --> 00:44:17,572 Tell me. 692 00:44:19,324 --> 00:44:22,577 Okay. Um... Well, I'm part Maldive, part Samoan. 693 00:44:22,660 --> 00:44:25,205 - Okay. - My family moved here when I was a kid. 694 00:44:25,288 --> 00:44:27,999 - Okay. - They were actually pretty wealthy. 695 00:44:28,083 --> 00:44:31,002 You know, the house that you stay at used to be our home. 696 00:44:31,795 --> 00:44:32,921 What happened? 697 00:44:33,463 --> 00:44:36,549 The government took it when my father was killed. 698 00:44:36,633 --> 00:44:40,011 - Miguel, I... - No, don't shed any tears for him. 699 00:44:40,762 --> 00:44:42,055 He wasn't a good guy. 700 00:44:42,806 --> 00:44:46,726 When he was killed, my mom and I had to restart. 701 00:44:46,810 --> 00:44:51,606 I was just a very angry kid, like Angel. 702 00:44:52,565 --> 00:44:54,150 And then one day, I got the calling. 703 00:44:54,234 --> 00:44:55,234 The calling? 704 00:44:56,945 --> 00:44:59,781 Oh. Oh, you mean like "the" calling. 705 00:44:59,864 --> 00:45:02,242 - So you're a... - Priest. In training. 706 00:45:03,034 --> 00:45:05,662 I did not see that coming. Wow. 707 00:45:05,745 --> 00:45:08,331 Tell me, Abby, have you ever... 708 00:45:09,416 --> 00:45:13,503 I mean, I believe, but I don't practice or anything like that. 709 00:45:13,586 --> 00:45:15,231 Well, there's a first time for everything. 710 00:45:15,255 --> 00:45:18,091 - No. No, I still got my beer. - Jesus, we've got another! 711 00:45:18,174 --> 00:45:19,175 I'm not that bad! 712 00:45:26,391 --> 00:45:28,226 Have we ever talked like this? 713 00:45:29,310 --> 00:45:32,689 Yeah. There was that one time in the laundry room. 714 00:45:33,481 --> 00:45:34,816 Yeah, you know. 715 00:45:34,899 --> 00:45:40,071 You know asked me if I had any soap, and I said that I needed to get some. 716 00:45:42,407 --> 00:45:44,742 That was nice. 717 00:45:46,369 --> 00:45:48,371 Yeah, it's funny. You... 718 00:45:48,455 --> 00:45:51,499 You don't get to pick the people who your boyfriend hangs out with. 719 00:45:51,583 --> 00:45:54,711 - I never would have picked you. - I wouldn't have picked you either. 720 00:45:56,463 --> 00:45:58,214 How long have you known her? 721 00:45:59,215 --> 00:46:00,300 A long time. 722 00:46:04,304 --> 00:46:05,763 That's pretty cute. 723 00:46:05,847 --> 00:46:07,932 You know that kid who does all these great things 724 00:46:08,016 --> 00:46:10,518 and her parents never show up for anything? 725 00:46:11,811 --> 00:46:13,146 That was Abby. 726 00:46:14,147 --> 00:46:16,399 It's frustrating to watch. 727 00:46:16,483 --> 00:46:20,737 But, Travis, she is not your problem to solve. 728 00:46:21,654 --> 00:46:24,741 Okay? You just have to give her time. 729 00:46:24,824 --> 00:46:26,659 I mean, she's had no stability in her life, 730 00:46:26,743 --> 00:46:32,743 and you are like this... egomaniac emblem of hyper-masculinity, 731 00:46:32,999 --> 00:46:36,461 semi-toxic, who I actually hope is, you know, extinct. 732 00:46:36,544 --> 00:46:38,939 - Whoa, whoa. Where'd that come from? - Oh, I'm just teasing you. 733 00:46:38,963 --> 00:46:40,465 - Jesus! - What the hell? 734 00:46:44,260 --> 00:46:45,260 Uh... 735 00:46:46,387 --> 00:46:48,389 Hey, guys. 736 00:46:48,473 --> 00:46:51,351 - Are you okay? - Yeah. No, I'm... 737 00:46:51,434 --> 00:46:56,147 Yeah, I was... Uh, yeah, I was just stargazing at... at, uh, Copernicus and... 738 00:46:56,231 --> 00:46:57,857 Telescope's over there, bro. 739 00:46:58,733 --> 00:47:00,818 Oh, they have one of those over there? 740 00:47:01,694 --> 00:47:04,572 - Were you spying on us? - No, no, I would never do that, okay? 741 00:47:04,656 --> 00:47:07,784 I'm... I was, uh... I was getting coconuts. 742 00:47:07,867 --> 00:47:09,577 Your favorite. 743 00:47:09,661 --> 00:47:11,371 Babe. Hey, where you going? 744 00:47:12,288 --> 00:47:13,414 Babe! 745 00:47:13,498 --> 00:47:16,292 Whoa! Whoa, you feel that? 746 00:47:16,376 --> 00:47:20,171 Whoa, you feel that? It's an earthquake, babe! 747 00:47:20,838 --> 00:47:22,757 She... She's gone, buddy. 748 00:47:22,840 --> 00:47:25,093 - Whoa, Mommy! - You aced it. 749 00:47:25,176 --> 00:47:29,472 Thanks for everything today, and for making sure I got home safe. 750 00:47:29,556 --> 00:47:31,641 Look, I know you have a lot on your mind, 751 00:47:31,724 --> 00:47:36,187 and Travis has a... interesting way of expressing himself. 752 00:47:36,271 --> 00:47:39,774 But something tells me that this marriage is worth fighting for. 753 00:47:40,733 --> 00:47:42,068 And I know I'm not ordained yet, 754 00:47:42,151 --> 00:47:46,239 but if you and Travis ever wanna talk anything through, I'm here to listen. 755 00:47:46,864 --> 00:47:50,368 And I won't splash you with holy water or anything. 756 00:47:50,493 --> 00:47:52,412 - Thanks. - Bye. 757 00:47:52,495 --> 00:47:53,495 Bye. 758 00:48:12,640 --> 00:48:14,058 - Hi. - Hi. 759 00:48:15,351 --> 00:48:17,562 It's the first time we've been in sync for a while. 760 00:48:17,645 --> 00:48:18,896 Yeah. 761 00:48:20,898 --> 00:48:22,567 I'm sorry I've been such a dick. 762 00:48:23,526 --> 00:48:25,695 I mean, you haven't. It's... 763 00:48:25,778 --> 00:48:27,030 I really have. 764 00:48:28,156 --> 00:48:29,866 We know I have. 765 00:48:29,949 --> 00:48:32,076 You have. 766 00:48:32,160 --> 00:48:35,788 Well, thank you. I appreciate that. It... 767 00:48:37,498 --> 00:48:40,918 Look, I mean, I have a really bad habit of running away from my problems. 768 00:48:41,002 --> 00:48:42,920 - You do. - I do. 769 00:48:43,004 --> 00:48:45,381 And I really don't wanna run away from you. 770 00:48:48,051 --> 00:48:50,178 Maybe we just need a little bit of a break. 771 00:48:51,929 --> 00:48:55,975 Our whole relationship has just been this crazy pressure cooker, 772 00:48:56,059 --> 00:49:00,813 and neither of us have been able to go off and have any fun or blow off any steam. 773 00:49:03,358 --> 00:49:05,902 I have fun with you. 774 00:49:06,944 --> 00:49:09,364 I know, but I... I meant independently. 775 00:49:09,447 --> 00:49:10,448 Yeah. 776 00:49:11,366 --> 00:49:14,452 I have always wanted a bachelor party. 777 00:49:14,535 --> 00:49:15,536 Okay. 778 00:49:17,121 --> 00:49:20,083 Let's do it. I mean, there's no time like the present. 779 00:49:23,461 --> 00:49:25,296 I like your thinking, Abby. 780 00:49:26,047 --> 00:49:29,425 Hey, bro, get all the boys together and come down to Mexico. 781 00:49:29,509 --> 00:49:31,678 Oh, by the way, we got married. 782 00:49:31,761 --> 00:49:33,054 Abby, dipshit. 783 00:49:33,721 --> 00:49:39,644 Always ready for a good time, the Maddox brothers flew down to Gatito. 784 00:49:40,770 --> 00:49:43,773 Yeah, Dad, yeah. Talk soon. 785 00:49:44,607 --> 00:49:47,318 - What'd he say? - That I'm in charge. 786 00:49:47,402 --> 00:49:49,904 And to make sure you don't do anything stupid. 787 00:49:54,117 --> 00:49:56,202 It says that El Jefe had kilos of cocaine 788 00:49:56,285 --> 00:49:59,997 that was eaten by a clowder of hairless Mexican cats. 789 00:50:00,081 --> 00:50:01,958 I swear, if you ruin Travis's bachelor party 790 00:50:02,041 --> 00:50:03,501 with a cocaine cat scavenger hunt, 791 00:50:03,584 --> 00:50:07,171 I will sell you to a local cartel and they will use you as a drug mule. 792 00:50:07,255 --> 00:50:08,256 Ow! 793 00:50:12,009 --> 00:50:16,472 No, look, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I don't know how many times I can say it. 794 00:50:16,556 --> 00:50:20,059 There's a first-class ticket waiting for you at Delta. I booked us a suite. 795 00:50:20,143 --> 00:50:23,980 I just gotta get this money and a couple of fingers, and then it's just us. 796 00:50:24,063 --> 00:50:29,444 There will be no talk of work, I swear, just massages and margaritas. 797 00:50:29,527 --> 00:50:34,115 Oh, Darius, just come down, please. Call me back. 798 00:50:38,536 --> 00:50:44,083 Don't you ever, ever do that again, you... 799 00:50:44,167 --> 00:50:47,962 Hey. Oh, hey, babe. Hey, how are you? Where were you last night? 800 00:50:48,045 --> 00:50:50,715 - Why'd you spy on me? - Spy? What are you talking about? 801 00:50:50,798 --> 00:50:52,884 - What are you talking about? - So everything's fine. 802 00:50:52,967 --> 00:50:55,845 Yes, everything's fine, so there's nothing to talk about. 803 00:50:55,928 --> 00:50:58,181 Oh! Ah! 804 00:50:58,264 --> 00:51:01,768 Oh, that hurt. Oh... Babe! 805 00:51:01,851 --> 00:51:04,037 - Why did you do that? - Hey! You holding out on us, cuz? 806 00:51:04,061 --> 00:51:07,774 - Hey, guys. Welcome to Mexico. - Keeping the riches to yourself, huh? 807 00:51:07,857 --> 00:51:10,151 - Yeah, you're a fucking dead man, right? - What? 808 00:51:10,234 --> 00:51:11,903 - This place have a bidet? - Fucking nerd. 809 00:51:11,986 --> 00:51:14,989 What? It was a long flight. They're completely normal in Europe. No! 810 00:51:15,072 --> 00:51:16,741 Don't chuck me in the ocean! 811 00:51:16,824 --> 00:51:18,201 - Hey, buddy. - Hi. 812 00:51:18,284 --> 00:51:20,828 - Hey, hey, guys. - Change of plans. 813 00:51:20,912 --> 00:51:23,289 So, the girls' spa treatment is now in the afternoon, 814 00:51:23,372 --> 00:51:24,641 so they're going to the beach with us. 815 00:51:24,665 --> 00:51:27,265 - Will you teach me how to play football? - Hey, Shep, think fast. 816 00:51:28,461 --> 00:51:30,797 - Heads up, buddy. - Touchdown! 817 00:51:30,880 --> 00:51:34,425 ♪ Call me good Call me bad ♪ 818 00:51:38,471 --> 00:51:41,307 ♪ But I know that you're sad ♪ 819 00:51:42,099 --> 00:51:46,103 ♪ And I know I'll make you happy with the one thing that you never had ♪ 820 00:51:46,187 --> 00:51:50,775 ♪ Baby, I'm your man ♪ 821 00:51:51,359 --> 00:51:53,486 ♪ Don't you know that ♪ 822 00:51:53,569 --> 00:51:58,241 ♪ Baby, I'm your man ♪ 823 00:51:59,992 --> 00:52:03,371 ♪ You bet! If you're gonna do it, do it right, right ♪ 824 00:52:03,454 --> 00:52:04,455 ♪ Do it with me ♪ 825 00:52:04,539 --> 00:52:06,666 ♪ If you're gonna do it, do it right, right ♪ 826 00:52:06,749 --> 00:52:08,042 ♪ Do it with me ♪ 827 00:52:08,125 --> 00:52:10,002 ♪ If you're gonna do it, do it right, right ♪ 828 00:52:10,461 --> 00:52:11,462 ♪ Do it with me ♪ 829 00:52:11,546 --> 00:52:14,090 ♪ If you're gonna do it, do it right, right ♪ 830 00:52:14,173 --> 00:52:15,174 ♪ Do it with me ♪ 831 00:52:15,258 --> 00:52:17,927 ♪ So good You're divine ♪ 832 00:52:18,719 --> 00:52:21,931 ♪ Wanna take you, wanna make you But they tell me it's a crime ♪ 833 00:52:22,014 --> 00:52:25,393 ♪ Oh, everybody knows where the good people go ♪ 834 00:52:25,476 --> 00:52:30,106 ♪ But where we're going, baby Ain't no such word as no ♪ 835 00:52:30,189 --> 00:52:35,152 ♪ Baby, I'm your man ♪ 836 00:52:35,236 --> 00:52:37,071 ♪ Don't you know who I am ♪ 837 00:52:37,154 --> 00:52:42,869 ♪ Baby, I'm your man ♪ 838 00:52:42,952 --> 00:52:44,370 ♪ You know You bet ♪ 839 00:52:44,453 --> 00:52:46,831 ♪ If you're gonna do it, do it right, right ♪ 840 00:52:46,914 --> 00:52:48,124 ♪ Do it with me ♪ 841 00:52:48,207 --> 00:52:50,376 ♪ If you're gonna do it, do it right, right ♪ 842 00:52:50,459 --> 00:52:52,003 ♪ Do it with me ♪ 843 00:52:52,086 --> 00:52:54,505 ♪ I'll be your man I'll be the one who understands ♪ 844 00:52:54,589 --> 00:52:58,217 ♪ I'll be your first, I'll be your last I'll be the only one you ask ♪ 845 00:52:58,301 --> 00:53:01,554 ♪ I'll be your friend, I'll be your toy I'll be the one who brings you joy ♪ 846 00:53:01,637 --> 00:53:03,764 ♪ I'll be your hope, I'll be your pearl ♪ 847 00:53:03,848 --> 00:53:06,267 ♪ I'll take you halfway round the world ♪ 848 00:53:07,310 --> 00:53:10,479 ♪ I'll make you rich I'll make you poor ♪ 849 00:53:12,398 --> 00:53:15,443 ♪ Just don't use the door If you're gonna do it, do it right ♪ 850 00:53:15,526 --> 00:53:19,989 Hey. Okay, babe, what's going on? Seriously, you're acting so weird. 851 00:53:20,072 --> 00:53:22,408 I mean, you literally built a wall between us. 852 00:53:23,117 --> 00:53:24,285 Okay, you... 853 00:53:25,077 --> 00:53:26,722 You know when you're driving down the highway 854 00:53:26,746 --> 00:53:29,874 and a really great song comes on, and you get really into the song 855 00:53:29,957 --> 00:53:31,517 and then you miss your exit and then... 856 00:53:31,542 --> 00:53:34,128 Okay, wait, wait. Am I the song or the highway? 857 00:53:34,211 --> 00:53:37,506 No, just... I feel like I'm learning all of these things about you. 858 00:53:37,590 --> 00:53:38,590 Good, good, good. 859 00:53:38,633 --> 00:53:40,718 You should be, you know, learning things about me, 860 00:53:40,801 --> 00:53:42,361 and me learning things about you, yeah. 861 00:53:42,428 --> 00:53:45,264 Yeah, no, definitely. Then I find out that you hunt. 862 00:53:45,348 --> 00:53:48,559 - I hunt. Yeah, I'm not hiding it. - No, you're not listening to me. 863 00:53:48,643 --> 00:53:51,483 - You're not listening to me. - Okay, maybe I shouldn't have even tried. 864 00:53:51,562 --> 00:53:53,439 Yeah, maybe you shouldn't have. 865 00:53:56,359 --> 00:53:59,445 And so the boys and girls went their separate ways. 866 00:53:59,528 --> 00:54:02,615 The girls went off to a relaxing spa, 867 00:54:02,698 --> 00:54:06,035 {\an8}and the boys, well... 868 00:54:16,837 --> 00:54:18,798 Let's go! Let's go! 869 00:54:18,881 --> 00:54:21,467 More, more! Don't be a bitch! Come on. 870 00:54:24,303 --> 00:54:26,806 Ah, what the fuck! 871 00:54:26,889 --> 00:54:30,059 - Come on, let's go. Let's go, bitch! - Shut up, bitch. Shut up! 872 00:54:37,024 --> 00:54:39,836 - Jeez, my skin feels like silk. - We should try that seaweed wrap next. 873 00:54:39,860 --> 00:54:42,047 Ooh, I would love to do a seaweed wrap. I've always wanted to. 874 00:54:42,071 --> 00:54:42,989 Yeah. 875 00:54:43,072 --> 00:54:45,533 Okay, well, at least come with us to dinner. 876 00:54:45,616 --> 00:54:48,160 No, nobody's going to bother you. 877 00:54:49,078 --> 00:54:51,205 You know what? Okay, do whatever you want. 878 00:54:51,288 --> 00:54:53,958 But tomorrow we are going sailing. 879 00:54:56,293 --> 00:54:59,380 - I'm sorry about that. - No, you're fine. 880 00:54:59,463 --> 00:55:02,883 - Sounds like you need some relaxation. - What brings you girls down here? 881 00:55:02,967 --> 00:55:05,761 - Honeymoon. - Oh! 882 00:55:06,595 --> 00:55:09,390 I once had a one-night stand with my doula. 883 00:55:11,225 --> 00:55:14,103 - Oh, n... No, no, no. It's not, no. - No, not us, not us. 884 00:55:14,186 --> 00:55:16,081 Not that they're, no. Great for you, though. No, but... 885 00:55:16,105 --> 00:55:18,315 - We don't have a problem with that. - No, it's great. 886 00:55:18,399 --> 00:55:21,402 - We love that. We support that. - It's her honeymoon. It's not... 887 00:55:21,485 --> 00:55:23,446 Yeah. It's our bachelor and bachelorette parties. 888 00:55:23,529 --> 00:55:27,283 - We're doing it kind of backwards. - Well, where's the rest of your party? 889 00:55:27,366 --> 00:55:29,952 - Yeah, you're looking at it. - Yeah. 890 00:55:30,036 --> 00:55:32,371 Well, is that what you wanted? 891 00:55:33,622 --> 00:55:35,916 Well... no. 892 00:55:36,000 --> 00:55:38,669 Oh, okay. It's what he wanted. Okay. 893 00:55:38,753 --> 00:55:41,213 Yeah, I guess I'm just trying to make him happy. 894 00:55:41,297 --> 00:55:44,425 Oh, God. Oh, no, I heard it. That was awful. 895 00:55:44,508 --> 00:55:46,844 - I know. - Hey, hey, hey, you. 896 00:55:46,927 --> 00:55:49,346 - Put that down. - Hey, I can't, I can't. 897 00:55:49,430 --> 00:55:52,141 - Put it down. - Hey, you need to behave. 898 00:55:52,224 --> 00:55:54,185 Oh. Are you gonna teach me? 899 00:55:57,938 --> 00:55:59,732 Ow! 900 00:55:59,815 --> 00:56:03,444 - Oh, my God, you're my hero. - Pour yourselves a drink, girls. 901 00:56:03,527 --> 00:56:04,653 Okay. 902 00:56:05,321 --> 00:56:06,781 Can I be frank? 903 00:56:06,864 --> 00:56:07,865 - Please. - Please. 904 00:56:07,948 --> 00:56:10,951 This marriage is starting off on the wrong foot. 905 00:56:11,035 --> 00:56:14,955 This is not about his needs. It's about your needs. 906 00:56:15,039 --> 00:56:17,041 Now, I lead women's retreats throughout the year, 907 00:56:17,124 --> 00:56:19,668 and it's mostly Fortune 500, 908 00:56:19,752 --> 00:56:22,838 but I also cater to the homemaker and poor people like yourself. 909 00:56:22,922 --> 00:56:23,922 Oh. 910 00:56:23,964 --> 00:56:26,884 Because as much as you would like to deny it, girls, 911 00:56:26,967 --> 00:56:31,430 you cannot disrespect or demean the power of the pussy. 912 00:56:32,890 --> 00:56:34,850 Drink your drink. 913 00:56:34,934 --> 00:56:36,936 - Drink it. It's expensive. - Oh. 914 00:56:38,896 --> 00:56:41,982 Ladies, these two will be joining us. 915 00:56:42,066 --> 00:56:43,734 I have some calls to make, 916 00:56:43,818 --> 00:56:46,070 but Fernando knows where to take you, so run along. 917 00:56:46,153 --> 00:56:47,404 I'll see you later. 918 00:56:53,661 --> 00:56:55,704 We don't see this in the States. 919 00:56:55,788 --> 00:56:58,749 Yeah. That's because it's illegal. 920 00:57:11,679 --> 00:57:13,180 My son! 921 00:57:14,473 --> 00:57:15,808 My son! 922 00:57:16,475 --> 00:57:17,935 My son! 923 00:57:35,911 --> 00:57:37,705 You okay, Shep? 924 00:57:38,664 --> 00:57:43,252 Yeah, yeah. Sorry. I, uh... Just fuck. The allergy season, right? 925 00:57:44,587 --> 00:57:48,549 After massages and muchas margaritas, 926 00:57:48,632 --> 00:57:53,012 the girls chose to take their bachelorette party to the streets 927 00:57:53,095 --> 00:57:55,139 in search of more fun. 928 00:57:55,222 --> 00:57:57,808 ♪ Welcome to the festival The festival de lucha ♪ 929 00:57:57,892 --> 00:57:59,560 Can you tell me where the lucha is? 930 00:57:59,643 --> 00:58:03,147 Your tent over yonder, my fair wench. 931 00:58:03,230 --> 00:58:05,649 - Hey, excuse me, Shakespeare. - Ow. 932 00:58:05,733 --> 00:58:08,319 I don't really like that you called me a wench. 933 00:58:08,402 --> 00:58:11,322 And the winner is GEK the GEK! 934 00:58:12,948 --> 00:58:14,658 Okay, the next event, 935 00:58:14,742 --> 00:58:16,118 the next fight, 936 00:58:16,202 --> 00:58:19,079 with public participation. 937 00:58:19,538 --> 00:58:22,041 Here's the fabulous, the only... 938 00:58:23,250 --> 00:58:26,003 Thumbelina! 939 00:58:26,086 --> 00:58:27,838 - Thumbelina! - ♪ My name is Thumbelina ♪ 940 00:58:27,922 --> 00:58:31,175 - ♪ I'm three feet tall... ♪ - Oh, my God, she's so cute. 941 00:58:31,258 --> 00:58:32,635 Hey, what is he saying? 942 00:58:33,928 --> 00:58:36,847 He wants to know if anyone'll fight Thumbelina. 943 00:58:36,931 --> 00:58:40,184 What? No, she's like a delicate little flower. 944 00:58:40,267 --> 00:58:42,811 These people can't fight her. I'll do it! I will do it. 945 00:58:42,895 --> 00:58:44,664 - It's gonna be fine. I'll be fine. - No, no, no. 946 00:58:44,688 --> 00:58:47,024 - We have a challenger. - I'll do it. 947 00:58:47,107 --> 00:58:48,734 This is a terrible idea. Ah! 948 00:58:48,817 --> 00:58:50,778 Hi. Hi. 949 00:58:50,861 --> 00:58:52,863 - Hi. - Aw, I'm Abby. 950 00:58:52,947 --> 00:58:55,241 - Aw! - I told you it was gonna be fine. 951 00:58:55,324 --> 00:58:57,451 She's cute. 952 00:58:57,534 --> 00:58:59,620 Okay, so, uh... so do I get a costume? 953 00:58:59,703 --> 00:59:01,830 She wants a costume! 954 00:59:01,914 --> 00:59:03,141 Sure, sure. Come on. 955 00:59:03,165 --> 00:59:06,919 Oh, you're good. You're good, Shep. You're good. 956 00:59:07,002 --> 00:59:10,547 It's just a stupid, stupid little chicken, okay? 957 00:59:10,631 --> 00:59:12,925 Okay, okay. 958 00:59:13,884 --> 00:59:16,887 All right. Get it together. Get it together. Get... 959 00:59:17,680 --> 00:59:19,390 My favorite rooster! 960 00:59:21,308 --> 00:59:23,227 No, no, no. 961 00:59:23,310 --> 00:59:24,979 No! 962 00:59:25,980 --> 00:59:27,898 Look at his little feet. 963 00:59:28,899 --> 00:59:30,818 Where's the humanity? 964 00:59:32,319 --> 00:59:35,364 You people are sick! You did this! 965 00:59:35,447 --> 00:59:40,077 You did this to your child! How do you feel about that? 966 00:59:40,619 --> 00:59:42,329 He's an animal of love. 967 00:59:51,630 --> 00:59:53,382 This is sick fuck. 968 00:59:54,341 --> 00:59:55,843 Not on my watch. 969 00:59:56,468 --> 00:59:57,845 You. 970 00:59:57,928 --> 01:00:02,266 And now from the United States, Abby Abernathy! 971 01:00:06,478 --> 01:00:08,522 - You okay? - Yeah, I'm fine. 972 01:00:08,605 --> 01:00:11,108 Listen very carefully to the rules, all right? 973 01:00:11,191 --> 01:00:12,943 - Okay. - There are no rules. 974 01:00:14,069 --> 01:00:15,112 Go! 975 01:00:16,864 --> 01:00:18,115 Meow. 976 01:00:18,198 --> 01:00:20,284 A cat. 977 01:00:20,367 --> 01:00:22,995 - Ow! - Oh, my... Jesus. 978 01:00:23,746 --> 01:00:25,456 - You bitch! - Ow! 979 01:00:27,333 --> 01:00:29,209 - What's happening? - Come here! 980 01:00:32,338 --> 01:00:35,132 - Oh, God. - Okay. Truce? 981 01:00:49,563 --> 01:00:52,941 - Will you tell me that's not Abby? - It's definitely Abby. 982 01:00:57,029 --> 01:00:59,239 All right, all right, all right, all right. 983 01:01:00,574 --> 01:01:02,618 Oh, God. Oh, hi, honey. 984 01:01:03,702 --> 01:01:07,414 - Okay. - What happened to mani-pedis? 985 01:01:07,498 --> 01:01:09,458 I could really use your advice right now. 986 01:01:09,541 --> 01:01:13,337 Okay, okay, um... Well, she's favoring her right knee. 987 01:01:13,420 --> 01:01:15,672 - Go for her knee. - No, that's so mean. 988 01:01:15,756 --> 01:01:17,674 It's really mean, but it might save your life. 989 01:01:17,758 --> 01:01:20,636 Sorpresa! 990 01:01:20,719 --> 01:01:23,347 Don't listen to her. She's trying to get in your head. Look at me. 991 01:01:23,430 --> 01:01:24,973 Okay, okay. 992 01:01:25,057 --> 01:01:27,476 What's happening, English-speaking woman? 993 01:01:27,559 --> 01:01:30,145 - What are you doing? - Nothing. 994 01:01:31,021 --> 01:01:33,357 Your boyfriend is very handsome. 995 01:01:33,440 --> 01:01:36,610 - She's trying to fuck you. - I... I don't know. I'm gonna go. 996 01:01:37,569 --> 01:01:39,947 - Listen here... - Hasta la vista, fatty! 997 01:01:40,030 --> 01:01:41,490 Fatty? 998 01:01:42,616 --> 01:01:44,827 - I think you dropped something. - Huh? 999 01:01:45,953 --> 01:01:47,496 - My leg! - Yeah! 1000 01:01:49,790 --> 01:01:52,501 That's what you get for trying to fuck my husband! 1001 01:01:52,584 --> 01:01:55,504 Yeah. Oh, some Mario shit. 1002 01:01:55,587 --> 01:01:58,924 Slam her! Yes! I don't know what's legal. Do whatever. 1003 01:02:01,051 --> 01:02:03,053 Just do it! 1004 01:02:04,680 --> 01:02:07,808 Mama! 1005 01:02:07,891 --> 01:02:09,560 My tiny leg! 1006 01:02:09,643 --> 01:02:12,563 - I am immensely turned on by you. - Uncle! Uncle! 1007 01:02:14,982 --> 01:02:17,067 - Yeah! - Yes! 1008 01:02:18,735 --> 01:02:22,489 I can't believe you did it. You were awesome! You won! 1009 01:02:22,573 --> 01:02:24,658 All right, baby. Have fun at your bachelor party! 1010 01:02:24,741 --> 01:02:27,744 All right! I love you! Have fun! 1011 01:02:28,662 --> 01:02:32,416 ♪ There's a cabin in the town In the town ♪ 1012 01:02:32,499 --> 01:02:36,086 ♪ Where my sweet love sits me down Sits me down ♪ 1013 01:02:36,170 --> 01:02:40,090 ♪ And drinks her wine as merry as can be ♪ 1014 01:02:40,174 --> 01:02:42,843 ♪ Never, never thinks of me ♪ 1015 01:02:42,926 --> 01:02:45,179 Whoa. Looks like the power's out again. 1016 01:02:45,262 --> 01:02:46,722 Sorpresa! 1017 01:02:49,183 --> 01:02:51,852 What's with all the eye candy? I'm married. 1018 01:02:51,935 --> 01:02:54,855 - You are. - But we're not. 1019 01:02:55,689 --> 01:02:58,817 Don't get any cute ideas. Abby's our sister now. 1020 01:02:58,901 --> 01:03:01,570 Yeah. I'll have to agree with him on that one. 1021 01:03:17,711 --> 01:03:22,799 I mean, I love him. That's gotta be worth something, right? 1022 01:03:23,717 --> 01:03:25,385 Yeah, absolutely. 1023 01:03:26,845 --> 01:03:29,848 - I don't know what love is anymore. - Uh-oh. 1024 01:03:31,141 --> 01:03:33,185 Have you eaten anything today? 1025 01:03:33,268 --> 01:03:34,353 I'm full... 1026 01:03:35,354 --> 01:03:37,606 of rage! 1027 01:03:38,565 --> 01:03:41,777 Here's the thing, girls. I got married too fucking young. 1028 01:03:41,860 --> 01:03:45,155 It didn't work out, you know? What are you gonna fucking do? 1029 01:03:45,239 --> 01:03:48,075 What do you mean, what am I gonna fucking do? I'm already... 1030 01:03:48,158 --> 01:03:49,868 Oh, look, I'm peeing. 1031 01:03:51,995 --> 01:03:55,582 - I'm never getting married. - Listen. 1032 01:03:55,666 --> 01:03:58,794 The stats are not in your favor, okay? 1033 01:03:58,877 --> 01:04:00,671 And by the way, hey, listen. 1034 01:04:00,754 --> 01:04:05,592 Hey, it's not like you came into any assets or anything, right? So... 1035 01:04:05,676 --> 01:04:09,596 And there are no kids involved. So, you got that. 1036 01:04:09,680 --> 01:04:13,308 I'm gonna have a baby on my own. Millicent. 1037 01:04:14,142 --> 01:04:17,354 Just buy one. They're more grateful. 1038 01:04:23,527 --> 01:04:25,237 Okay. Shit. 1039 01:04:25,320 --> 01:04:28,615 Okay, I got you... I got you food. Oh, oh. 1040 01:04:30,701 --> 01:04:33,370 This looks so good, guys. 1041 01:04:33,453 --> 01:04:34,663 All right. 1042 01:04:36,081 --> 01:04:39,334 Mmm! You're free now, yeah. 1043 01:04:41,628 --> 01:04:46,049 Ooh, you hungry? Yeah. Ooh! 1044 01:04:46,133 --> 01:04:47,551 Bon appétit. 1045 01:04:48,427 --> 01:04:50,971 Mmm! Yeah, come on. 1046 01:04:51,054 --> 01:04:54,141 What? The food's over here. Here you go. Yeah, you can eat. 1047 01:04:54,224 --> 01:04:57,769 No, no, no. Hey, hey, hey. 1048 01:04:57,853 --> 01:04:58,854 Cease! 1049 01:04:58,937 --> 01:05:00,063 Para! Para! Para! 1050 01:05:02,691 --> 01:05:06,737 Para! Stop! Stop! Para! Para! Para! 1051 01:05:08,238 --> 01:05:10,616 Guys, just be friends, just be friends! 1052 01:05:13,243 --> 01:05:15,954 No! No! No! 1053 01:05:24,046 --> 01:05:26,882 I'm an exchange student! 1054 01:05:26,965 --> 01:05:28,133 Help me! 1055 01:05:37,643 --> 01:05:39,478 - Oh! - I got you! 1056 01:05:39,686 --> 01:05:41,271 - I got you. - You got me. 1057 01:05:41,355 --> 01:05:43,315 - I love you so much. - Okay, come on, let's go. 1058 01:05:43,398 --> 01:05:45,043 - You're such a good friend. - I know. I love you very much. 1059 01:05:45,067 --> 01:05:48,278 - Who needs Shep? Here we go. - No one needs him. I love you. 1060 01:05:48,362 --> 01:05:51,990 - Here we go. Where's the waterbed? - Okay, okay. No, it's not a waterbed. 1061 01:05:52,074 --> 01:05:54,660 You know, lady, I love you too. I think we're good together. 1062 01:05:54,743 --> 01:05:58,497 No. I... I just need to know if Darius made his flight. 1063 01:05:59,831 --> 01:06:03,293 What are you looking at? I don't give a fuck about Abby anymore. 1064 01:06:03,377 --> 01:06:04,836 I just want Darius. 1065 01:06:05,879 --> 01:06:08,465 What do you mean, he cashed his ticket in? No, no, no! 1066 01:06:08,548 --> 01:06:10,926 Those are my miles! That's my money! 1067 01:06:12,094 --> 01:06:15,931 I work my whole fucking life to build a nest egg of money and love. 1068 01:06:16,014 --> 01:06:19,393 And what's the point if you keep losing the nest egg and the love? 1069 01:06:20,268 --> 01:06:22,396 Help me! 1070 01:06:23,897 --> 01:06:26,191 Oh! 1071 01:06:30,737 --> 01:06:33,949 Oh, no, no, no. No! 1072 01:06:34,032 --> 01:06:35,701 Hi, Shepley, baby. It's Mom. 1073 01:06:35,784 --> 01:06:39,538 - I'm at hospice with Granny. - Mommy, yes, it's me! 1074 01:06:39,621 --> 01:06:41,891 We're about to pull the plug and she wanted to say goodbye. 1075 01:06:41,915 --> 01:06:43,834 - No, Grandma! - Where are you? 1076 01:06:43,917 --> 01:06:45,293 No, Grandma! 1077 01:06:48,046 --> 01:06:51,883 Shepley, it's Granny. I just wanted to tell you I... 1078 01:06:51,967 --> 01:06:53,844 No! 1079 01:06:53,927 --> 01:06:57,097 No! Goodbye, Granny! 1080 01:07:06,314 --> 01:07:10,777 No, I don't like those. I like Pino. Pino! 1081 01:07:12,529 --> 01:07:14,948 Guys! Oh, they'll never believe me. 1082 01:07:27,711 --> 01:07:29,129 Guess who? 1083 01:07:30,672 --> 01:07:32,299 Remember us? 1084 01:07:32,382 --> 01:07:33,382 Raar. 1085 01:07:33,967 --> 01:07:35,886 You learn English fast. 1086 01:07:35,969 --> 01:07:38,138 I learn a lot of things fast. 1087 01:07:38,221 --> 01:07:40,474 Isn't this your bachelor party? 1088 01:07:40,557 --> 01:07:44,478 Whoo. It sure is my bachelor party. 1089 01:07:44,561 --> 01:07:46,980 So, don't you wanna have some fun? 1090 01:07:47,063 --> 01:07:48,523 Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. 1091 01:07:48,607 --> 01:07:49,900 Let's have fun! 1092 01:07:49,983 --> 01:07:54,696 Okay. You know, um, I thought I was having enough fun already. 1093 01:07:55,572 --> 01:07:56,990 You know what we mean. 1094 01:07:58,074 --> 01:08:00,160 Whoo! 1095 01:08:00,243 --> 01:08:02,621 We'll make it hard. 1096 01:08:02,704 --> 01:08:04,748 Away from Blondie. 1097 01:08:04,831 --> 01:08:06,458 You mean Abby, my wife. 1098 01:08:07,083 --> 01:08:10,086 Come on. We won't tell. 1099 01:08:16,593 --> 01:08:18,136 I gotta go. 1100 01:08:18,220 --> 01:08:20,430 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 1101 01:08:23,141 --> 01:08:24,434 Naughty, naughty. 1102 01:08:25,727 --> 01:08:27,938 Thank you for letting us stay on the cot. 1103 01:08:28,021 --> 01:08:32,108 Yeah, well, okay, ladies, it's been real. 1104 01:08:32,192 --> 01:08:35,111 Good luck with your life, your marriage. 1105 01:08:35,195 --> 01:08:36,905 And if you were a gambler, 1106 01:08:36,988 --> 01:08:40,909 I would tell you that the odds are not in your favor and to fold. 1107 01:08:40,992 --> 01:08:43,119 Wait, I have to pee. Is this a bathroom? 1108 01:08:43,203 --> 01:08:45,539 Yeah. But no, no, no, no. Don't... Don't go there. 1109 01:08:45,622 --> 01:08:48,041 That's Parker's room. Just go in the pond. 1110 01:08:48,124 --> 01:08:49,376 Parker? 1111 01:08:49,459 --> 01:08:52,254 My son, the doctor that we were talking about. 1112 01:08:52,337 --> 01:08:55,006 - What's your last name? - Hayes. 1113 01:08:55,090 --> 01:08:56,925 Hayes. 1114 01:08:57,008 --> 01:08:58,969 Parker Hayes. 1115 01:08:59,052 --> 01:09:00,345 Doctor. 1116 01:09:02,138 --> 01:09:03,723 Hey, Parker! 1117 01:09:03,807 --> 01:09:05,100 Dr. Hayes. 1118 01:09:05,183 --> 01:09:07,018 Parker Hayes? 1119 01:09:07,102 --> 01:09:08,103 Parker! 1120 01:09:11,231 --> 01:09:13,567 Mare! Mare, we gotta go! 1121 01:09:23,618 --> 01:09:24,618 Ugh. 1122 01:09:26,663 --> 01:09:28,999 Travis. 1123 01:09:31,668 --> 01:09:32,836 Naughty, naughty. 1124 01:09:34,379 --> 01:09:36,298 Travis? Travis, come and get me. 1125 01:09:39,050 --> 01:09:40,510 Travis! 1126 01:09:40,594 --> 01:09:42,137 - Asshole! - You like that? 1127 01:09:42,220 --> 01:09:45,390 - Fine. Two can play at that. - Oh, Travis, you're so good. 1128 01:09:58,069 --> 01:10:01,197 Okay, Parker. Okay, I'm just... 1129 01:10:02,240 --> 01:10:06,077 Shit. Okay, go. Wait. Okay. 1130 01:10:06,161 --> 01:10:07,287 Ow! 1131 01:10:08,580 --> 01:10:09,873 Ow. 1132 01:10:09,956 --> 01:10:13,585 Okay. Hi, Parker. Hi. Hi, you old nice, boring man. 1133 01:10:13,668 --> 01:10:15,337 Okay, we're gonna take a photo. 1134 01:10:15,420 --> 01:10:17,964 Shit. What? 1135 01:10:21,843 --> 01:10:23,136 Good. Okay. 1136 01:10:34,397 --> 01:10:36,483 No! What are you doing? Don't... 1137 01:10:42,697 --> 01:10:46,743 Shh, shh, shh. Shh. Shh. 1138 01:10:48,495 --> 01:10:50,455 Goddammit! 1139 01:10:52,290 --> 01:10:54,459 How are you sleeping? Roll over! 1140 01:10:54,542 --> 01:10:57,879 God, you're fucking pointless. Roll over. 1141 01:10:58,546 --> 01:11:00,757 One. 1142 01:11:00,840 --> 01:11:03,343 Two. 1143 01:11:03,426 --> 01:11:06,346 Oh, oh, come on! 1144 01:11:06,429 --> 01:11:10,100 Come on. Ow! No! 1145 01:12:12,871 --> 01:12:15,457 What the hell happened in here? 1146 01:12:24,382 --> 01:12:25,717 Is that me? 1147 01:12:33,141 --> 01:12:34,726 So mean. 1148 01:12:35,643 --> 01:12:38,688 I am sorry, señor. There is no one here by that name. 1149 01:12:38,772 --> 01:12:42,108 Or the other girls. Have you tried calling the police? 1150 01:12:42,192 --> 01:12:44,861 Yeah, I don't think we're there yet. Thank you, though. 1151 01:12:45,612 --> 01:12:46,821 Okay. 1152 01:13:34,327 --> 01:13:35,995 Mmm? 1153 01:14:10,196 --> 01:14:12,907 - Who the fuck are you? - It's me! It's me! 1154 01:14:12,991 --> 01:14:15,910 - It's Abby! It's me! - Abby? What are you doing here? 1155 01:14:15,994 --> 01:14:19,247 - I was just trying to take a selfie. - A selfie? Fucking psycho. 1156 01:14:19,330 --> 01:14:20,707 Abby? 1157 01:14:20,790 --> 01:14:24,794 - Oh, God. He's gonna kill you. - Abby, open up! 1158 01:14:24,878 --> 01:14:26,713 There's nobody here by that name, so piss off! 1159 01:14:26,796 --> 01:14:30,466 - Shh! - Oh, my God! You fucked Parker! 1160 01:14:33,052 --> 01:14:35,263 What are you doing here? 1161 01:14:35,346 --> 01:14:37,682 Nothing happened! Nothing happened! 1162 01:14:48,568 --> 01:14:50,486 It's a madhouse! 1163 01:14:58,536 --> 01:15:01,956 Well? How's that for your first time, Miguel? 1164 01:15:03,416 --> 01:15:08,296 Ain't she something else? Found her in bed with her ex on our honeymoon. 1165 01:15:11,424 --> 01:15:13,676 It was really stupid. 1166 01:15:14,260 --> 01:15:17,972 I was drunk and trying to get a selfie to make him jealous. 1167 01:15:18,056 --> 01:15:20,934 The only reason I did it is because 1168 01:15:21,017 --> 01:15:25,146 I went to FaceTime Travis last night and this is what I saw. 1169 01:15:28,566 --> 01:15:29,566 I... 1170 01:15:31,236 --> 01:15:32,737 Abby, I had nothing to do with this. 1171 01:15:32,820 --> 01:15:34,447 You have to believe me. 1172 01:15:34,530 --> 01:15:35,531 I do. 1173 01:15:37,116 --> 01:15:40,161 I do. When I sobered up this morning and I had a second to think, 1174 01:15:40,245 --> 01:15:42,538 I figured that, I don't know, 1175 01:15:42,622 --> 01:15:45,458 that some girls must have taken your phone or something. 1176 01:15:45,541 --> 01:15:46,918 And that's the truth. 1177 01:15:48,586 --> 01:15:50,755 Right. I believe you. 1178 01:15:50,838 --> 01:15:53,299 You guys, there's... there's hope in this. 1179 01:15:54,759 --> 01:15:58,763 Except that doesn't really go both ways in our relationship now, does it? 1180 01:16:02,141 --> 01:16:06,604 Well... it's not really like you gave me a fighting chance 1181 01:16:06,688 --> 01:16:09,023 with your marriage annulment contest. 1182 01:16:11,067 --> 01:16:13,152 You set me up to fail. 1183 01:16:17,615 --> 01:16:20,535 Miguel, I know that you said that there's something in Travis and I 1184 01:16:20,618 --> 01:16:21,911 that's worth fighting for, 1185 01:16:21,995 --> 01:16:25,915 but, you know, I don't really think I have any fight left. 1186 01:16:28,501 --> 01:16:31,045 - Then neither do I. - I... 1187 01:16:31,129 --> 01:16:32,255 Travis... 1188 01:16:36,509 --> 01:16:40,847 - Abby, Psalm 51 says create a... - Save it. I'm done. 1189 01:16:53,776 --> 01:16:55,111 My mom knows someone 1190 01:16:55,194 --> 01:16:58,031 who can get us on a four o'clock flight back to Sacramento. 1191 01:16:58,114 --> 01:17:02,118 Thanks, but I think I'm just gonna hang around here, wander. 1192 01:17:02,201 --> 01:17:04,037 Don't wander too far. 1193 01:17:05,288 --> 01:17:09,250 - Promise? - Yes. Yes, I promise, Mare. 1194 01:17:09,334 --> 01:17:10,668 But enough about me. 1195 01:17:10,752 --> 01:17:14,005 - How are you doing? - This is so weird, Abby. 1196 01:17:14,088 --> 01:17:16,549 The second I met Shepley, I just fell so hard. 1197 01:17:16,632 --> 01:17:18,718 And we get here, and I feel like I'm just seeing 1198 01:17:18,801 --> 01:17:20,470 who he really is for the first time. 1199 01:17:20,553 --> 01:17:24,599 - Yeah, sounds familiar. - I mean, he hunts, he spies on me. 1200 01:17:25,391 --> 01:17:28,561 I just can't. He's not right for me. 1201 01:17:31,397 --> 01:17:32,607 I hear you. 1202 01:17:32,690 --> 01:17:35,401 I thought maybe Travis was different, 1203 01:17:35,485 --> 01:17:38,446 but he's just like all the men from my past. 1204 01:17:38,529 --> 01:17:40,281 I mean, I don't know what to say, Mare. 1205 01:17:40,365 --> 01:17:43,159 I guess we were both just dealt a really... 1206 01:17:45,286 --> 01:17:47,413 Hello? Abby? 1207 01:17:52,627 --> 01:17:55,797 I wanna see the two of you in my office in an hour, 1208 01:17:55,880 --> 01:17:58,424 and don't you even think of skipping town. 1209 01:17:59,717 --> 01:18:04,972 This is about Travis assuming your debt by fighting against Chernobyl. 1210 01:18:51,769 --> 01:18:54,355 Abby, it's not what you think! 1211 01:18:57,650 --> 01:18:59,902 - I fucking hate you! - I don't hit women. 1212 01:18:59,986 --> 01:19:01,821 Motherfucker! 1213 01:19:04,323 --> 01:19:07,827 - You said you wouldn't do anything! - God, you're firm. 1214 01:19:07,910 --> 01:19:11,205 I fucking hate you, you maggot dick! 1215 01:19:11,289 --> 01:19:14,459 - What are you, hormonal? - Fuck you! 1216 01:19:17,503 --> 01:19:18,671 Who is it? 1217 01:19:22,425 --> 01:19:24,760 What... What do you want? 1218 01:19:35,313 --> 01:19:37,565 I'm sorry about your painting. 1219 01:19:39,317 --> 01:19:42,987 Sorry about fucking up your life, ish. 1220 01:19:45,656 --> 01:19:51,120 You didn't fuck up my life. You fucked up my relationship with my dad. 1221 01:19:51,204 --> 01:19:53,706 There were some other things. 1222 01:19:53,789 --> 01:19:56,250 - Toledo. - Hmm. 1223 01:19:56,334 --> 01:19:59,545 Toledo? Dude, I was 14. 1224 01:19:59,629 --> 01:20:01,672 You were a cash cow. 1225 01:20:01,756 --> 01:20:04,425 You really did deserve that rock to the head. 1226 01:20:06,469 --> 01:20:08,262 I'm sorry about... 1227 01:20:08,346 --> 01:20:10,056 - Darius? - Yeah. 1228 01:20:10,139 --> 01:20:13,184 I don't even know if he ever really loved me. 1229 01:20:13,267 --> 01:20:16,896 This painting was my last-ditch effort, 'cause we were down... 1230 01:20:16,979 --> 01:20:18,397 Doesn't matter. 1231 01:20:21,609 --> 01:20:25,112 Well, for what it's worth, it's not like my relationship is any better. 1232 01:20:25,196 --> 01:20:28,324 I'm about to be a divorcée at 19. 1233 01:20:28,407 --> 01:20:29,951 - What? - Yeah. 1234 01:20:30,743 --> 01:20:34,789 For somebody who is so good at cards, you are a real fuckin' idiot. 1235 01:20:34,872 --> 01:20:37,667 - Excuse me? - Oh, yeah, right, Miss Wisdom at 19. 1236 01:20:37,750 --> 01:20:39,877 You don't see what's staring you right in the face. 1237 01:20:39,961 --> 01:20:42,380 Love, Abby. Love. 1238 01:20:42,463 --> 01:20:46,551 Your guy, this guy, the fighter, Travis, and the passion you two have. 1239 01:20:46,634 --> 01:20:49,845 You think you can buy that on Amazon? You cannot. 1240 01:20:49,929 --> 01:20:54,433 I don't care if you're 19 or you're 90. When that happens, sha-bam! 1241 01:20:57,436 --> 01:21:00,064 - Sha-bam? - Sha-bam! 1242 01:21:03,776 --> 01:21:06,112 - Sha-bam. - Fuckin' sha-bam. 1243 01:21:07,488 --> 01:21:10,157 - What do you guys want? - We want you to fight for her. 1244 01:21:10,241 --> 01:21:13,452 - You don't think I'm trying? - Then, dude, try fuckin' harder. 1245 01:21:13,536 --> 01:21:16,581 It's like Dad always said, "Sometimes you have to fight for both of you 1246 01:21:16,664 --> 01:21:17,707 when one of you gives up." 1247 01:21:17,790 --> 01:21:20,209 That's right. You fight and you fight, and you keep fighting. 1248 01:21:20,293 --> 01:21:23,004 'Cause you're a Maddox, and that's what we do for love. 1249 01:21:23,087 --> 01:21:25,214 Travis, do you love her? 1250 01:21:26,465 --> 01:21:28,217 Of course I love her. 1251 01:21:29,343 --> 01:21:31,470 Then go and get her, dude. 1252 01:21:32,680 --> 01:21:34,098 I don't even know where she is. 1253 01:21:34,181 --> 01:21:36,475 - I think she found you, bro. - What? 1254 01:21:39,186 --> 01:21:41,939 ♪ With all the ground we've covered ♪ 1255 01:21:42,315 --> 01:21:45,359 ♪ With all the fights we've won ♪ 1256 01:21:45,443 --> 01:21:48,988 ♪ I won't let you drown in the ocean ♪ 1257 01:21:49,071 --> 01:21:52,241 ♪ I won't watch you burn in the sun ♪ 1258 01:21:52,325 --> 01:21:54,160 ♪ We'll sing it in a song ♪ 1259 01:21:55,703 --> 01:21:59,540 ♪ We'll sing it in a song ♪ 1260 01:21:59,624 --> 01:22:02,918 ♪ In all the seas we've sailed on ♪ 1261 01:22:03,002 --> 01:22:06,088 ♪ Our faces turned to stone ♪ 1262 01:22:06,172 --> 01:22:09,884 ♪ I will follow you where the light goes ♪ 1263 01:22:09,967 --> 01:22:12,428 ♪ And tell the rights we've wronged ♪ 1264 01:22:12,511 --> 01:22:15,973 ♪ And sing it in a song Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ 1265 01:22:16,057 --> 01:22:20,686 ♪ Sing it in a song ♪ 1266 01:22:20,770 --> 01:22:24,315 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ 1267 01:22:24,398 --> 01:22:30,363 ♪ The greatest story never told ♪ 1268 01:22:31,280 --> 01:22:33,157 ♪ Our finest dreams ♪ 1269 01:22:33,240 --> 01:22:38,037 ♪ Our hearts and souls ♪ 1270 01:22:38,120 --> 01:22:43,542 ♪ Forever young, forever bold ♪ 1271 01:22:44,960 --> 01:22:48,798 ♪ The greatest story never told ♪ 1272 01:22:54,095 --> 01:22:56,389 Where did you get these suits, Douchebags-R-Us? 1273 01:22:56,472 --> 01:22:57,932 - They're traditional. - Really? 1274 01:22:58,015 --> 01:23:01,060 Did you get these suits with a sign that reads "Please don't fuck me"? 1275 01:23:01,143 --> 01:23:03,604 He's a fucking priest. Have some respect! 1276 01:23:06,774 --> 01:23:08,484 No biting! 1277 01:23:08,567 --> 01:23:11,445 Queso! 1278 01:23:24,041 --> 01:23:27,878 This is the ring that our father got our mother, 1279 01:23:27,962 --> 01:23:33,509 and, uh, she passed before Travis really got to ever know her. 1280 01:23:34,593 --> 01:23:36,512 But it's special. 1281 01:23:36,595 --> 01:23:39,682 And you're special. 1282 01:23:39,765 --> 01:23:44,603 We'd like you to have it, 'cause we all love you very much. 1283 01:23:46,021 --> 01:23:47,898 This is beautiful. 1284 01:23:49,150 --> 01:23:51,068 I just wish that I could have met her, you guys. 1285 01:23:51,152 --> 01:23:54,238 But I'm sure she was so incredible. 1286 01:23:55,906 --> 01:23:58,492 I don't even know what to say. 1287 01:23:58,576 --> 01:24:01,704 Well, you... you could say yes. 1288 01:24:01,787 --> 01:24:03,748 Yes, yes, yeah. 1289 01:24:04,790 --> 01:24:07,960 I'll cherish this forever. Thank you guys so much. 1290 01:24:08,711 --> 01:24:11,714 I'm really proud to call you guys my brothers. 1291 01:24:14,842 --> 01:24:16,343 Hey! 1292 01:24:17,553 --> 01:24:19,472 What are guys doing to her? 1293 01:24:27,354 --> 01:24:29,064 ♪ Right from the start ♪ 1294 01:24:29,148 --> 01:24:32,026 ♪ We knew we'd be together... ♪ 1295 01:24:32,985 --> 01:24:34,987 Tried the Trabby? 1296 01:24:35,070 --> 01:24:36,155 Hey! 1297 01:24:36,238 --> 01:24:40,117 Yeah. Yeah, I've had, like, three. They're great. They're great. 1298 01:24:40,201 --> 01:24:43,788 - You should get one, man. - All right, I'll have one. 1299 01:24:47,416 --> 01:24:50,336 - Did you talk to Mare? - Mare? Uh... 1300 01:24:52,963 --> 01:24:54,673 You all right? 1301 01:24:59,011 --> 01:25:01,931 Yeah, I mean, it doesn't matter. It's your night, man. 1302 01:25:02,014 --> 01:25:04,225 - It's your night. - Cheers. Shep, I love you. 1303 01:25:04,308 --> 01:25:08,062 I love... Well, stop. I love... Dude, I love you. I love you so much. 1304 01:25:08,145 --> 01:25:12,066 - No, but, seriously, I love you. - I love you more, bro. For real. 1305 01:25:12,149 --> 01:25:13,692 I would leave her tonight for you. 1306 01:25:13,776 --> 01:25:16,946 If it weren't for the whole cousin inbreeding thing, we could have something. 1307 01:25:17,029 --> 01:25:20,115 Come here. Come here. 1308 01:25:20,199 --> 01:25:24,036 I'm so happy for you. Now, you should find your wife. 1309 01:25:24,119 --> 01:25:26,038 - That's weird to say. - I know. 1310 01:25:26,121 --> 01:25:28,249 - You good? - I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. 1311 01:25:28,332 --> 01:25:29,458 - Okay. - I'm good. 1312 01:25:35,005 --> 01:25:39,593 Hey, what's... what's the Shepmare? Can I have one of those? 1313 01:25:39,677 --> 01:25:44,431 - You tell me. - Oh, my... Oh, my... Baby! 1314 01:25:44,515 --> 01:25:47,017 - Babe! Oh, my God! Come here, come here. - I came back! 1315 01:25:47,101 --> 01:25:51,146 - Pumpkin! Pumpkin! I missed you! - I missed you too! 1316 01:25:51,230 --> 01:25:54,066 I was at the spa and heard that someone tried to free the roosters 1317 01:25:54,149 --> 01:25:55,710 but didn't realize that they're trained killers. 1318 01:25:55,734 --> 01:25:58,112 - I didn't know they were killers! - Did you do that? 1319 01:25:58,195 --> 01:26:03,409 Yeah, I was just trying to be a nice guy, and they're not... they're not nice. No. 1320 01:26:03,492 --> 01:26:06,829 You're a good man, Shepley Maddox, and I've been such a jerk. 1321 01:26:06,912 --> 01:26:09,164 I spun out about a dumb thing and I shut down... 1322 01:26:09,248 --> 01:26:10,708 - Stop, stop, stop. - I'm so sorry. 1323 01:26:10,791 --> 01:26:14,503 - I'm sorry. I'm sorry for spying on you. - I love you so much. 1324 01:26:14,587 --> 01:26:18,215 - I love you so much, baby. - And I wanna be your baby pterodactyl. 1325 01:26:18,299 --> 01:26:19,884 You wanna be my... 1326 01:26:21,302 --> 01:26:24,513 - I wanna be on your mantle! - Come here, babe! 1327 01:26:31,186 --> 01:26:33,439 - Buenas noches. - Hmm. 1328 01:26:34,231 --> 01:26:36,567 - Sancho, right? - Sí. 1329 01:26:41,113 --> 01:26:43,782 I feel like I'm past my prime. 1330 01:26:43,866 --> 01:26:46,285 You're telling me! 1331 01:26:46,368 --> 01:26:49,330 - All I want to do is nap. - Mmm. 1332 01:26:50,372 --> 01:26:54,335 I'd take a good nap over that painting, meditation bullshit. 1333 01:26:57,630 --> 01:27:00,049 Money doesn't fix it. 1334 01:27:00,132 --> 01:27:01,717 Ass doesn't fix it. 1335 01:27:03,093 --> 01:27:04,093 Ass? 1336 01:27:05,137 --> 01:27:06,305 No bueno. 1337 01:27:07,264 --> 01:27:08,599 Pino's ass? 1338 01:27:09,892 --> 01:27:10,892 Tight. 1339 01:27:11,477 --> 01:27:12,895 Treacherous. 1340 01:27:15,898 --> 01:27:20,152 I just wanna find somebody to sail off into the sunset with. 1341 01:27:20,235 --> 01:27:23,822 I mean, fuck a couple of people up along the way, right, just for fun. 1342 01:27:23,906 --> 01:27:27,451 I like a man like you. 1343 01:27:27,534 --> 01:27:29,453 Masculine. 1344 01:27:34,583 --> 01:27:36,877 I've never tried Mexican. 1345 01:27:39,838 --> 01:27:44,051 I think that you would find it most appealing. 1346 01:27:45,719 --> 01:27:48,597 ♪ Falling in love again ♪ 1347 01:27:49,598 --> 01:27:52,643 - Okay, so I've been thinking. - Uh-oh. 1348 01:27:53,602 --> 01:27:56,647 I've been thinking about giving the Maddox name a try. 1349 01:27:56,730 --> 01:27:59,858 But it has to include some personalized towels. 1350 01:27:59,942 --> 01:28:01,652 - Towels? - Mm-hmm. 1351 01:28:03,487 --> 01:28:05,322 Expensive towels. 1352 01:28:06,198 --> 01:28:09,618 - And how many points is that? - Oh, forget about the points. 1353 01:28:09,702 --> 01:28:13,330 I stopped counting when we were down by like a thousand. 1354 01:28:13,414 --> 01:28:15,290 A thousand's an exaggeration. 1355 01:28:15,374 --> 01:28:18,544 It was stupid anyway. I can't rationalize this marriage. 1356 01:28:18,627 --> 01:28:23,090 And I can't rationalize why I love you. But I do. 1357 01:28:26,635 --> 01:28:30,264 And so Abby and Travis agreed, 1358 01:28:30,347 --> 01:28:32,725 "Till death do us part." 1359 01:28:34,351 --> 01:28:37,312 As long as they don't kill each other. 1360 01:28:37,396 --> 01:28:38,689 Adios, amigos! 1361 01:28:52,286 --> 01:28:53,537 Jesus, Roger! 1362 01:28:56,331 --> 01:28:58,333 Jesus Christ! 1363 01:34:13,148 --> 01:34:16,234 ♪ My name is Thumbelina I'm three feet tall ♪ 1364 01:34:16,318 --> 01:34:19,613 ♪ My mommy always told me "Fuck, you're small" ♪ 1365 01:34:19,696 --> 01:34:22,699 ♪ My neighbors, they tease me It sends me in a roll ♪ 1366 01:34:22,783 --> 01:34:25,994 ♪ I fuck them up for money after all ♪ 1367 01:34:26,078 --> 01:34:28,205 Subtitling: Dubbing Brothers 106286