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1
00:00:03,437 --> 00:00:04,503
BERG, COME HERE.
2
00:00:04,538 --> 00:00:06,372
CHECK THIS OUT. CHECK THIS OUT.
3
00:00:08,976 --> 00:00:10,176
IT'S A SPIDER.
4
00:00:10,211 --> 00:00:12,243
NO, NO, NO!
5
00:00:12,279 --> 00:00:15,580
IT'S A MIND-BOGGLING
ACHIEVEMENT OF ENGINEERING.
6
00:00:15,615 --> 00:00:18,150
DID YOU KNOW THAT THE
UNDERBEAM STRUCTURE
7
00:00:18,185 --> 00:00:19,918
OF THE CRANBERG
BUILDING IN CINCINNATI
8
00:00:19,954 --> 00:00:24,656
IS BASED DIRECTLY UPON GOD'S
OWN DESIGN OF THE COMMON SPIDER?
9
00:00:34,234 --> 00:00:35,234
MY FAULT.
10
00:00:57,258 --> 00:01:00,425
THERE I AM, HOVERING
OVER THE BODY,
11
00:01:00,460 --> 00:01:03,828
THE SWEAT IS BURNING IN MY EYES.
12
00:01:03,863 --> 00:01:08,066
BUT I KNOW THE PATIENT'S LIFE
DEPENDS UPON MY STEADY HAND,
13
00:01:08,102 --> 00:01:10,234
SO I GRAB THE TWEEZERS,
14
00:01:10,270 --> 00:01:13,438
STICK IT INTO HIS CHEST
CAVITY EVER SO GINGERLY,
15
00:01:13,474 --> 00:01:18,743
PULL OUT HIS... FUNNY BONE.
16
00:01:18,778 --> 00:01:20,879
BIG RED NOSE NEVER WENT OFF.
17
00:01:20,915 --> 00:01:22,625
YOU KNEW YOU WERE
GONNA BE A DOCTOR
18
00:01:22,649 --> 00:01:25,951
BECAUSE YOU WERE GOOD
AT PLAYING OPERATION.
19
00:01:25,986 --> 00:01:27,986
EVER SINCE I WAS 6 1/2.
20
00:01:28,021 --> 00:01:29,999
LIAR! AHEM!
21
00:01:30,023 --> 00:01:31,523
IT MUST BE SO GREAT
22
00:01:31,558 --> 00:01:35,160
HAVING ALWAYS KNOWN
WHAT YOU WERE GONNA BE.
23
00:01:35,195 --> 00:01:38,097
YEAH. IT'S ALWAYS
GIVEN ME PEACE.
24
00:01:38,132 --> 00:01:40,265
LIAR! AHEM!
25
00:01:40,301 --> 00:01:43,413
EXCUSE ME. MY FRIEND
NEEDS MEDICAL ATTENTION.
26
00:01:43,437 --> 00:01:45,136
AH-AHEM!
27
00:01:45,172 --> 00:01:47,250
SOMETHING IN YOUR THROAT?
28
00:01:47,274 --> 00:01:48,918
I'M SORRY, SIR, BUT I'M GONNA
HAVE TO GIVE YOU A TICKET.
29
00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:52,510
DO YOU KNOW HOW FAST YOU
WERE LYING BACK THERE? WHAT?
30
00:01:52,546 --> 00:01:56,448
YOU DIDN'T KNOW YOU WANTED
TO BE A DOCTOR TILL 3 MONTHS AGO.
31
00:01:56,484 --> 00:01:57,794
WELL, IF I HADN'T LIED
IN THE FIRST PLACE,
32
00:01:57,818 --> 00:02:00,319
I NEVER WOULD'VE
ENDED UP IN MED SCHOOL.
33
00:02:00,354 --> 00:02:01,398
SO MY STUPID CHEMICAL COMPANY
34
00:02:01,422 --> 00:02:03,388
DECIDES TO HAVE A STUPID BOOTH
35
00:02:03,424 --> 00:02:05,723
AT THIS STUPID EARTH DAY FAIR,
36
00:02:05,759 --> 00:02:10,062
AND GUESS WHO'S
STUPID ENOUGH TO RUN IT.
37
00:02:12,332 --> 00:02:15,932
DOES BRING OUT THE
AMINO ACIDS IN YOUR EYES.
38
00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:19,337
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
39
00:02:27,314 --> 00:02:30,882
I THINK YOU GOT A
TERRIFIC FUTURE AS A DORK.
40
00:02:30,918 --> 00:02:33,418
WHAT'S WITH THE
OUTFIT? HIS DAD'S IN TOWN.
41
00:02:33,453 --> 00:02:36,354
GREAT. I HAVEN'T SEEN
HIM SINCE GRADUATION.
42
00:02:36,389 --> 00:02:39,324
NOT GREAT. BERG,
STOP PLAYING DRESS-UP
43
00:02:39,359 --> 00:02:42,760
AND TELL YOUR DAD THAT YOU
DROPPED OUT OF LAW SCHOOL
44
00:02:42,796 --> 00:02:44,563
2 YEARS AGO. WHAT?
45
00:02:44,598 --> 00:02:46,731
HE STILL THINKS
YOU'RE IN LAW SCHOOL?
46
00:02:46,767 --> 00:02:50,402
WELL, YOUR DAD STILL
THINKS YOU'RE A VIRGIN.
47
00:02:56,810 --> 00:02:58,855
BERG, COME ON. TELL
YOUR DAD THE TRUTH.
48
00:02:58,879 --> 00:03:00,912
WE DON'T TELL THE
TRUTH IN MY FAMILY.
49
00:03:00,947 --> 00:03:02,714
MY DAD'S A LAWYER.
50
00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:05,483
THAT'S HEALTHY.
51
00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:07,852
WE DON'T FIGHT, WE DON'T SHARE,
52
00:03:07,888 --> 00:03:10,755
AND NO SHOES IN THE LIVING ROOM.
53
00:03:10,791 --> 00:03:12,068
BERG, YOU OWE HIM THE TRUTH.
54
00:03:12,092 --> 00:03:13,625
IT'S NOT LIKE I'M
TAKING HIS MONEY.
55
00:03:13,660 --> 00:03:14,626
I'M HERE ON SCHOLARSHIP.
56
00:03:14,661 --> 00:03:16,606
EVENTUALLY, HE'S GONNA FIND OUT.
57
00:03:16,630 --> 00:03:18,229
I'M JUST TRYING
TO BUY SOME TIME.
58
00:03:18,265 --> 00:03:21,099
I AM THIS CLOSE TO FIGURING
OUT WHAT I WANNA DO WITH MY LIFE.
59
00:03:21,134 --> 00:03:23,012
WHAT HAPPENED TO PHILOSOPHY?
60
00:03:23,036 --> 00:03:24,603
PHILOSOPHY WAS THIS CLOSE.
61
00:03:26,173 --> 00:03:27,539
IT'S MENTALLY CHALLENGING,
62
00:03:27,574 --> 00:03:29,541
BUT IT'S JUST NOT
SERVING UP THE BABES.
63
00:03:29,576 --> 00:03:32,677
BERG, LOOK, JUST GO
TO BUSINESS SCHOOL.
64
00:03:32,712 --> 00:03:33,679
BECOME AN EXECUTIVE.
65
00:03:33,714 --> 00:03:35,179
YOU'LL HAVE ALL THE
WOMEN YOU WANT.
66
00:03:35,216 --> 00:03:38,417
LIKE I'M GONNA WEAR
ONE OF THESE EVERY DAY.
67
00:03:38,452 --> 00:03:41,130
OK, SO BASICALLY, YOU'RE
LOOKING FOR A CAREER
68
00:03:41,154 --> 00:03:43,033
WHERE YOU CAN WEAR
PAJAMAS AND GAWK AT CHICKS.
69
00:03:43,057 --> 00:03:45,290
SING IT, SISTER!
70
00:03:45,325 --> 00:03:46,569
BUT FOR THE TIME BEING,
71
00:03:46,593 --> 00:03:48,671
AS FAR AS MY DAD'S CONCERNED,
72
00:03:48,695 --> 00:03:50,840
I'M JUST A MILD-MANNERED
LAW STUDENT
73
00:03:50,864 --> 00:03:54,599
FOR A GREAT
METROPOLITAN LAW SCHOOL.
74
00:03:56,937 --> 00:03:59,037
EITHER I'M NOT SUPERMAN,
75
00:03:59,073 --> 00:04:02,441
OR SHE'S WEARING LEAD PANTIES.
76
00:04:05,478 --> 00:04:07,178
NOW, REMEMBER, MR. BAUER,
77
00:04:07,213 --> 00:04:09,047
I'M A LAW STUDENT.
78
00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:10,048
NO, YOU'RE NOT.
79
00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:11,528
YOU'RE A PHILOSOPHY MAJOR.
80
00:04:11,552 --> 00:04:13,452
BUT FOR TODAY, MR. BAUER,
81
00:04:13,487 --> 00:04:15,921
JUST SAY I'M IN LAW SCHOOL, OK?
82
00:04:15,956 --> 00:04:19,858
I WISH I COULD, BUT I CAN'T.
83
00:04:19,893 --> 00:04:21,726
AND WHY NOT?
84
00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:23,561
TODAY IS MY SON'S BIRTHDAY,
85
00:04:23,596 --> 00:04:25,096
AND I MISSED HIS PARTY.
86
00:04:25,132 --> 00:04:26,698
I WAS BUSY IN COURT.
87
00:04:26,733 --> 00:04:29,112
AT LEAST THAT'S WHAT
I TOLD THE LITTLE GUY.
88
00:04:29,136 --> 00:04:30,836
SO MY SON MADE A WISH:
89
00:04:30,871 --> 00:04:34,139
FOR 24 HOURS, I
CANNOT TELL A LIE.
90
00:04:34,174 --> 00:04:36,641
THIS CAN'T BE GOOD FOR ME.
91
00:04:36,677 --> 00:04:38,943
WELCOME TO MY WORLD.
92
00:04:40,914 --> 00:04:44,983
MY GOD! HE'S ACTUALLY CLEARING
THE DISHES OFF THE TABLE.
93
00:04:45,018 --> 00:04:49,053
ALL RIGHT, WHAT HAVE
YOU DONE WITH MY SON?
94
00:04:49,088 --> 00:04:51,056
DAD!
95
00:04:51,091 --> 00:04:52,157
MIKE!
96
00:04:52,192 --> 00:04:53,458
MR. BERGEN.
97
00:04:53,493 --> 00:04:55,794
PETE!
98
00:04:55,829 --> 00:04:57,840
WHEN ARE YOU GONNA START
DESIGNING THAT BEACH HOUSE FOR ME?
99
00:04:57,864 --> 00:04:59,375
SOON AS I GET YOUR DEPOSIT.
100
00:04:59,399 --> 00:05:01,599
WELL, YOU JUST HAVE
YOUR HOTSHOT LAWYER HERE
101
00:05:01,634 --> 00:05:02,645
SEND OVER THE CONTRACTS.
102
00:05:02,669 --> 00:05:05,303
DAD... YOU REMEMBER BILL.
103
00:05:05,338 --> 00:05:07,505
BILL! SURE.
104
00:05:07,540 --> 00:05:09,018
MY SON DOING A GOOD JOB?
105
00:05:09,042 --> 00:05:10,241
OH, YEAH...
106
00:05:10,276 --> 00:05:12,644
WHEN I CAN PULL HIM
AWAY FROM THE LAW BOOKS,
107
00:05:12,679 --> 00:05:15,847
THOUGH HE DID PROMISE TO WORK
LATE FRIDAY AND SATURDAY NIGHTS
108
00:05:15,882 --> 00:05:16,948
TO MAKE UP FOR IT.
109
00:05:18,418 --> 00:05:20,551
RIGHT, BERG? SURE,
110
00:05:20,587 --> 00:05:22,947
BECAUSE I WOULD NEVER
TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU.
111
00:05:24,057 --> 00:05:25,690
EXCUSE ME, MR. BERGEN.
112
00:05:25,725 --> 00:05:28,860
WHAT'S HIS NAME
AGAIN? MR. BAUER.
113
00:05:28,896 --> 00:05:31,562
RIGHT. MR. BAUER,
WHAT'S GOING ON?
114
00:05:31,598 --> 00:05:35,400
MY SHORTS ARE BUNCHING UP ON ME.
115
00:05:38,405 --> 00:05:40,072
WELL!
116
00:05:42,509 --> 00:05:44,709
TELL ME ABOUT LAW SCHOOL.
117
00:05:44,745 --> 00:05:46,144
UHH!
118
00:05:50,584 --> 00:05:51,749
IS HE ALL RIGHT?
119
00:05:51,785 --> 00:05:53,117
NOT EVEN REMOTELY.
120
00:05:53,153 --> 00:05:55,287
Mr. Bauer: PHILOSOPHY!
121
00:05:57,157 --> 00:05:58,668
DAD, WHY DON'T YOU
GRAB A SEAT OUT HERE?
122
00:05:58,692 --> 00:05:59,957
I'LL BE THERE IN A SEC.
123
00:05:59,993 --> 00:06:02,274
GOOD. WE'LL HAVE
A CIGAR AND TALK.
124
00:06:05,332 --> 00:06:06,809
UH, HE WANTS TO
HAVE A TALK, PETE.
125
00:06:06,833 --> 00:06:09,634
UH, YOU GOTTA COME WITH ME.
126
00:06:09,669 --> 00:06:11,836
LOOK, THIS IS BETWEEN
YOU AND YOUR DAD.
127
00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:13,838
I'M NOT GETTING
IN THE MIDDLE OF IT.
128
00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:15,540
OK, FINE.
129
00:06:15,575 --> 00:06:17,087
BUT IF HE STARTS
ASKING ABOUT THE LAW,
130
00:06:17,111 --> 00:06:18,311
JUST RUN INTERFERENCE.
131
00:06:18,345 --> 00:06:20,290
COME ON, BERG. I'M
NOT GOOD AT THIS.
132
00:06:20,314 --> 00:06:21,446
NONSENSE.
133
00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:24,083
HERE YOU GO, BOYS.
134
00:06:26,119 --> 00:06:27,552
MMM! CUBANS.
135
00:06:27,587 --> 00:06:29,498
AREN'T THESE AGAINST THE LAW?
136
00:06:29,522 --> 00:06:33,291
EASY, EASY. EASY THERE.
137
00:06:33,326 --> 00:06:38,763
SO, DAD... YOU'RE IN TOWN.
138
00:06:38,799 --> 00:06:41,110
YEAH, I'M IN TOWN FOR
BUSINESS. IMPORTANT BUSINESS.
139
00:06:41,134 --> 00:06:43,435
I'M HERE TO TALK TO YOU
ABOUT BECOMING A LAWYER.
140
00:06:43,470 --> 00:06:45,203
I LOVE FOOTBALL!
141
00:06:47,141 --> 00:06:48,907
STEVE YOUNG'S A LAWYER.
142
00:06:50,043 --> 00:06:51,710
IT'S THE 49ERS QUARTERBACK.
143
00:06:53,947 --> 00:06:56,314
I BET HE'S HAPPY WHEN
THE DEFENSE RESTS.
144
00:06:59,553 --> 00:07:04,122
SO, MIKE, HOW YOU
FINDING SECOND YEAR?
145
00:07:04,157 --> 00:07:05,656
OH, I AM LOVING IT.
146
00:07:05,692 --> 00:07:06,736
STUDYING CONSTANTLY.
147
00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:07,800
HA HA! THAT'S FUNNY.
148
00:07:07,827 --> 00:07:10,562
AS A KID, HE NEVER
STUCK WITH ANYTHING.
149
00:07:10,597 --> 00:07:12,197
ONE WEEK IT WAS RUGBY,
150
00:07:12,232 --> 00:07:13,998
NEXT WEEK, ASTRONOMY,
151
00:07:14,033 --> 00:07:15,077
AND THEN THERE WAS MUSIC.
152
00:07:15,101 --> 00:07:19,437
"DADDY, I'M GONNA BE
THE NEXT ROY CLARK."
153
00:07:19,473 --> 00:07:22,574
I DON'T HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT
BANJO'S STILL SITTING IN THE GARAGE.
154
00:07:22,609 --> 00:07:24,575
Pete: HA HA HA!
155
00:07:26,212 --> 00:07:29,347
BANJO? HA HA HA!
156
00:07:29,382 --> 00:07:33,784
WHY DON'T YOU TELL HIM THAT REALLY
INTERESTING STEVE YOUNG STORY AGAIN?
157
00:07:35,589 --> 00:07:36,999
NOW HE'S GRADUATING LAW SCHOOL.
158
00:07:37,023 --> 00:07:40,992
DUE IN NO SMALL PART
TO YOU, MR. DUNVILLE.
159
00:07:41,027 --> 00:07:42,427
WHAT?
160
00:07:42,463 --> 00:07:44,173
YOU'VE HAD AN IMPORTANT
INFLUENCE ON HIM.
161
00:07:44,197 --> 00:07:46,064
KEPT THIS HEAD IN THE GAME.
162
00:07:46,099 --> 00:07:49,145
WITHOUT YOU, HE PROBABLY
WOULD'VE QUIT LAW SCHOOL.
163
00:07:49,169 --> 00:07:52,370
OH, SIR, YOU'RE GIVING
ME WAY TOO MUCH CREDIT.
164
00:07:52,406 --> 00:07:53,549
NONSENSE!
165
00:07:53,573 --> 00:07:55,907
I WANNA GIVE YOU
SOMETHING TO JUST...
166
00:07:55,942 --> 00:07:59,644
KIND OF HELP YOU ALONG WHILE YOU'RE
DESIGNING THAT BEACH HOUSE FOR ME.
167
00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:04,515
UH, NO, REALLY...
TAKE MY PEN, PLEASE.
168
00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:08,052
GOTTA RUN, BOYS. BIG MEETING.
169
00:08:08,087 --> 00:08:10,321
MIKE, WE GOT DINNER
AT 8:00 TONIGHT, OK?
170
00:08:10,357 --> 00:08:12,923
AND, PETE? THANKS AGAIN.
171
00:08:16,796 --> 00:08:19,296
AND YOU SAY YOU'RE
NOT GOOD AT THIS.
172
00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:21,165
ALL RIGHT. YOU KNOW WHAT?
173
00:08:21,201 --> 00:08:23,068
THAT'S IT. ALL DONE!
174
00:08:23,103 --> 00:08:24,202
I'M OUT!
175
00:08:24,237 --> 00:08:25,570
YOU KNOW WHAT?
176
00:08:25,605 --> 00:08:27,305
YOU'RE NOTHING LIKE YOUR DAD.
177
00:08:27,341 --> 00:08:30,141
I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHERE YOU CAME FROM.
178
00:08:30,176 --> 00:08:32,777
AND DON'T SAY "ALBANY."
179
00:08:32,813 --> 00:08:34,858
THE THING IS, I
ASPIRE TO SOMEDAY BE
180
00:08:34,882 --> 00:08:36,860
THE KIND OF MAN YOUR FATHER IS.
181
00:08:36,884 --> 00:08:39,618
A MAN WITH PURPOSE
AND DIRECTION.
182
00:08:39,653 --> 00:08:41,853
A MAN WITH DIGNITY.
183
00:08:41,889 --> 00:08:44,555
GO WORK THE FAIR.
184
00:08:46,259 --> 00:08:47,625
THINK ABOUT WHAT I SAID...
185
00:08:49,496 --> 00:08:51,896
AND NOT HOW STUPID
I LOOK IN THIS HAT.
186
00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:03,341
YOU'RE AGAINST CHEMICALS, HUH?
187
00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:05,710
HEY, YOU! MR. ROGAINE!
188
00:09:05,746 --> 00:09:10,649
WHERE DO YOU THINK
YOUR NEW HAIR CAME FROM?
189
00:09:10,684 --> 00:09:12,316
AND WHAT ABOUT HER?
190
00:09:12,352 --> 00:09:14,619
YOU THINK THOSE ARE REAL?
191
00:09:14,655 --> 00:09:16,287
I DON'T THINK SO!
192
00:09:16,322 --> 00:09:18,423
YOU SHOULD BE
PICKETING HER CHEST!
193
00:09:20,126 --> 00:09:21,659
PETE!
194
00:09:22,963 --> 00:09:26,364
HEY! I SAW A GROUP OF
PEOPLE DOWN THAT WAY.
195
00:09:27,433 --> 00:09:29,133
THEY WERE EATING VEAL.
196
00:09:33,006 --> 00:09:33,972
THANK YOU.
197
00:09:34,007 --> 00:09:35,173
NICE HAT.
198
00:09:35,208 --> 00:09:36,340
PHI BETA KAPPA.
199
00:09:36,376 --> 00:09:39,411
SUMMA CUM LAUDE. HOW ARE YOU?
200
00:09:39,446 --> 00:09:40,712
YOU WANT A SLICE?
201
00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:41,891
UHH! DON'T EVEN MENTION FOOD.
202
00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:43,748
I'VE HAD, LIKE, 8
OF THESE THINGS.
203
00:09:43,784 --> 00:09:45,027
WHAT'S THAT?
204
00:09:45,051 --> 00:09:46,829
OH, THEY'RE GREAT. IT'S
A SYNTHETIC CANDY BAR.
205
00:09:46,853 --> 00:09:48,519
THEY TASTE EXACTLY
LIKE CHOCOLATE,
206
00:09:48,555 --> 00:09:50,721
ONLY NO FAT, NO
SODIUM, NO CALORIES.
207
00:09:50,757 --> 00:09:52,790
THESE ARE GONNA BE
THE NEXT BIG THING...
208
00:09:52,825 --> 00:09:53,791
OOH!
209
00:09:53,827 --> 00:09:55,326
IF THEY'RE EVER
APPROVED BY THE FDA.
210
00:09:57,631 --> 00:10:00,265
HERE COME THE
OZONE LOVERS AGAIN.
211
00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:03,167
OH, NO. THEY'RE CARRYING EGGS.
212
00:10:03,202 --> 00:10:04,168
WHERE YOU GOING?
213
00:10:04,203 --> 00:10:05,637
GOT HIGH CHOLESTEROL.
214
00:10:05,672 --> 00:10:06,871
COWARD!
215
00:10:08,975 --> 00:10:12,577
YOU KNOW WHAT MAKES
THOSE EGGS SO LARGE?
216
00:10:19,686 --> 00:10:22,153
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA
GET THIS STAIN OUT WITH?
217
00:10:24,091 --> 00:10:25,323
HEY, PIZZA HEAD!
218
00:10:25,359 --> 00:10:28,093
THAT IS SO UNNECESSARY.
219
00:10:31,198 --> 00:10:32,396
YOU WANT PEPPERONI?
220
00:10:32,432 --> 00:10:35,833
AH-AH-AH. YOU CAN'T
MOVE YOUR HEAD.
221
00:10:35,868 --> 00:10:36,934
MR. BERGEN?
222
00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:39,103
MIKE'S NOT WITH YOU, IS HE?
223
00:10:39,139 --> 00:10:40,438
NO. HE'S AT WORK.
224
00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:42,373
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
225
00:10:42,409 --> 00:10:43,774
WHAT HAPPENED TO
YOUR BIG MEETING?
226
00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:45,610
THIS IS MY BIG MEETING.
227
00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:47,078
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
228
00:10:47,113 --> 00:10:49,592
WELL, I RESIGNED FROM
THE FIRM. I'M STARTING OVER.
229
00:10:49,616 --> 00:10:50,949
YOU HAD THIS BRILLIANT CAREER,
230
00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:53,952
AND YOU GAVE IT UP TO BECOME...
231
00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:55,420
A CARICATURIST?
232
00:10:55,455 --> 00:10:57,554
WE PREFER "SKETCH ARTIST."
233
00:10:57,591 --> 00:11:00,392
AND I'VE BEEN LYING
TO MY SON ABOUT THIS.
234
00:11:00,427 --> 00:11:03,828
PLEASE PROMISE ME
YOU WON'T TELL HIM.
235
00:11:03,864 --> 00:11:07,164
JUST WHEN I THINK I'M OUT...
236
00:11:07,199 --> 00:11:10,134
THEY PULL ME BACK IN!
237
00:11:13,540 --> 00:11:16,006
MR. BERGEN, YOU'RE
A HARVARD LAWYER.
238
00:11:16,042 --> 00:11:19,444
WHY ARE YOU WORKING THE
FAIR CIRCUIT? SIT DOWN, PETE.
239
00:11:19,479 --> 00:11:20,989
WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE
SPORT? BASKETBALL.
240
00:11:21,013 --> 00:11:22,780
PLAY TENNIS? NOT REALLY.
241
00:11:22,816 --> 00:11:24,393
HOW ABOUT BADMINTON? NO...
242
00:11:24,417 --> 00:11:27,152
OH, MR. BERGEN, DON'T DRAW ME.
243
00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:29,420
OH, MAN!
244
00:11:31,157 --> 00:11:32,223
OH, I GET IT.
245
00:11:32,258 --> 00:11:34,692
YOU CAN'T TELL ME
246
00:11:34,728 --> 00:11:36,894
BECAUSE YOU'RE ACTUALLY HERE
247
00:11:36,929 --> 00:11:39,263
GATHERING EVIDENCE FOR A CASE.
248
00:11:39,298 --> 00:11:43,167
TELL ME YOU'RE GATHERING
EVIDENCE FOR A CASE.
249
00:11:43,202 --> 00:11:48,105
I LEFT THE LAW TO PURSUE
MY PASSION FOR ART.
250
00:11:48,140 --> 00:11:50,674
ART?
251
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:54,812
BIG HEADS ON LITTLE
BODIES IS NOT ART.
252
00:11:54,847 --> 00:11:57,448
WELL, I'M HAVING
THE TIME OF MY LIFE.
253
00:11:57,483 --> 00:11:58,594
THEN WHY HAVEN'T YOU TOLD BERG?
254
00:11:58,618 --> 00:12:01,519
COME ON! YOU KNOW THAT FICUS
255
00:12:01,555 --> 00:12:04,088
DREAMT OF FOLLOWING
IN MY FOOTSTEPS,
256
00:12:04,123 --> 00:12:06,658
AND YOU GOTTA HELP ME
HIDE THE TRUTH FROM HIM.
257
00:12:06,693 --> 00:12:09,794
OH, NO. JUST UNTIL HE GRADUATES.
258
00:12:09,829 --> 00:12:12,197
NO, NO. MR. BERGEN,
I'M NOT GOOD AT THIS.
259
00:12:12,232 --> 00:12:14,866
NONSENSE!
260
00:12:14,901 --> 00:12:17,601
NOW, HERE YOU GO, PETE.
261
00:12:17,637 --> 00:12:20,805
MY EARS ARE NOT THAT BIG.
262
00:12:22,775 --> 00:12:24,386
SKETCH ARTIST? YEAH, YEAH.
263
00:12:24,410 --> 00:12:26,744
HE'S RIGHT DOWN THERE.
264
00:12:26,779 --> 00:12:29,247
LOOK.
265
00:12:29,282 --> 00:12:31,060
WOW. HE REALLY NAILED YOUR EARS.
266
00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:32,528
HE DID NOT NAIL MY EARS!
267
00:12:32,552 --> 00:12:35,753
HA HA! YOU GOTTA
LOVE THOSE BERGENS.
268
00:12:35,789 --> 00:12:38,689
THIS IS SICK. THAT'S PERFECT.
269
00:12:38,724 --> 00:12:41,025
WHAT'S SO PERFECT ABOUT IT?
270
00:12:41,061 --> 00:12:43,128
PETE DUNVILLE IS
GONNA SAVE THE DAY.
271
00:12:43,163 --> 00:12:45,696
OH, PETE... DON'T.
272
00:12:45,732 --> 00:12:47,198
DUCK!
273
00:12:48,401 --> 00:12:51,469
I INVITE MR. BERGEN
OVER TO THE APARTMENT.
274
00:12:51,504 --> 00:12:54,772
I TELL THEM THAT THEY BOTH HAVE
SOMETHING THEY NEED TO SAY TO EACH OTHER.
275
00:12:54,808 --> 00:12:56,207
"DAD, I'M NOT IN LAW SCHOOL."
276
00:12:56,242 --> 00:12:58,742
"MIKE, I PLAY WITH
CRAYONS IN THE PARK."
277
00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:00,945
EVERYONE HUGS.
278
00:13:00,980 --> 00:13:02,780
IT'D BE A REAL OPRAH MOMENT.
279
00:13:02,815 --> 00:13:06,450
DUCK!
280
00:13:06,486 --> 00:13:07,864
DID THEY ASK FOR YOUR HELP?
281
00:13:07,888 --> 00:13:10,588
NOT IN SO MANY WORDS.
282
00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:13,958
BUT OBVIOUSLY,
THEY NEED TO TALK.
283
00:13:13,993 --> 00:13:15,538
I MEAN, THAT'S WHAT
WE DO IN MY FAMILY.
284
00:13:15,562 --> 00:13:16,939
WE GET IT OUT. WE
TALK. IT'S HEALTHY.
285
00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:20,465
BUT, PETE, JUST BECAUSE
IT WORKS FOR YOUR FAMILY,
286
00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:21,644
DOESN'T MEAN IT
WORKS FOR EVERYONE.
287
00:13:21,668 --> 00:13:23,100
IT'S LIKE THIS STUFF.
288
00:13:23,136 --> 00:13:24,969
YOU POUR IT DOWN YOUR SINK,
289
00:13:25,004 --> 00:13:26,081
IT UNCLOGS THE DRAIN.
290
00:13:26,105 --> 00:13:28,372
YOU POUR IT IN A POND,
291
00:13:28,407 --> 00:13:31,041
YOU'VE GOT FISH WITH FEET.
292
00:13:31,077 --> 00:13:32,910
LOOK, I GOTTA DO SOMETHING.
293
00:13:32,946 --> 00:13:34,890
YEAH, YOU DO. STAY OUT OF IT.
294
00:13:34,914 --> 00:13:36,047
YOU KNOW WHAT, SHARON?
295
00:13:36,082 --> 00:13:37,682
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
296
00:13:46,359 --> 00:13:47,859
WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME TO DUCK?
297
00:13:47,894 --> 00:13:50,161
HEY, I DON'T KNOW
WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
298
00:13:57,937 --> 00:14:00,104
AND THAT WOULD BE YOUR DAD.
299
00:14:00,140 --> 00:14:02,207
WHAT? HOW DO YOU KNOW?
300
00:14:02,242 --> 00:14:04,252
I TOLD HIM TO STOP BY
HERE BEFORE DINNER.
301
00:14:04,276 --> 00:14:07,745
I DON'T KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE UP TO, PETE,
302
00:14:07,781 --> 00:14:10,621
BUT ONE WORD OUT OF YOU, AND I'M
SHOWING MR. BAUER SILENCE OF THE LAMBS
303
00:14:10,650 --> 00:14:13,751
AND INVITING HIM OVER TO DINNER.
304
00:14:15,054 --> 00:14:17,087
LOOK, HE HAS
SOMETHING TO TELL YOU.
305
00:14:17,123 --> 00:14:18,200
JUST... TRUST ME.
306
00:14:18,224 --> 00:14:20,758
WHAT IS IT?
307
00:14:20,794 --> 00:14:22,327
LET HIM TELL YOU.
308
00:14:22,362 --> 00:14:24,462
I THINK HE'LL PAINT
A BETTER PICTURE.
309
00:14:26,433 --> 00:14:29,467
COME ON IN, MR. BERGEN.
310
00:14:29,502 --> 00:14:30,802
MIKE.
311
00:14:30,837 --> 00:14:32,169
DAD.
312
00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:33,304
HAVE A SEAT.
313
00:14:33,340 --> 00:14:34,817
UH, WE'VE GOT AN
8:00 RESERVATION.
314
00:14:34,841 --> 00:14:36,284
YEAH. WE DON'T WANNA
LOSE THAT TABLE.
315
00:14:36,308 --> 00:14:38,876
NO. THIS WON'T
TAKE LONG. IT'S OK.
316
00:14:38,911 --> 00:14:40,978
OK, NOW, UM...
317
00:14:41,013 --> 00:14:45,316
YOU BOTH HAVE SOMETHING THAT
YOU NEED TO SAY TO ONE ANOTHER.
318
00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:50,354
NOW IS THE TIME TO SAY IT.
319
00:14:52,592 --> 00:14:54,792
IT'S OK.
320
00:14:54,828 --> 00:14:56,393
TALK.
321
00:14:58,431 --> 00:15:01,499
I'LL BE IN MY ROOM WHERE
I CAN'T HEAR A THING.
322
00:15:09,943 --> 00:15:11,587
SO... HOW WAS YOUR MEETING?
323
00:15:11,611 --> 00:15:14,712
OH... IT WAS FINE.
HOW WAS CLASS?
324
00:15:14,748 --> 00:15:15,813
GOOD.
325
00:15:15,848 --> 00:15:17,315
GOOD, GOOD.
326
00:15:17,350 --> 00:15:19,262
SO YOU HAD SOMETHING
YOU WANTED TO TELL ME.
327
00:15:19,286 --> 00:15:21,786
WELL, MAYBE YOU SHOULD GO FIRST.
328
00:15:21,821 --> 00:15:22,853
OK.
329
00:15:22,889 --> 00:15:26,202
WELL, UH... IT'S
REALLY NO BIG DEAL,
330
00:15:26,226 --> 00:15:27,758
BUT, UH...
331
00:15:31,197 --> 00:15:33,897
I GUESS I'M SORRY I
NEVER FOLLOWED THROUGH
332
00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:36,834
WITH THOSE BANJO LESSONS.
333
00:15:38,237 --> 00:15:40,538
WELL, I THINK WHAT
I HAVE TO TELL YOU
334
00:15:40,573 --> 00:15:43,774
WILL PUT ALL THAT
IN PERSPECTIVE.
335
00:15:43,809 --> 00:15:45,509
ABOUT 6 MONTHS AGO,
336
00:15:45,545 --> 00:15:49,680
I WAS DRIVING HOME AFTER
A HELLISH DAY IN COURT,
337
00:15:49,715 --> 00:15:54,485
AND AS I WAS PULLING
INTO THE GARAGE...
338
00:15:56,755 --> 00:15:58,222
I RAN OVER YOUR BANJO.
339
00:16:02,862 --> 00:16:05,163
OH.
340
00:16:05,198 --> 00:16:07,243
WELL, I'M GLAD WE HAD
THIS TALK. LET'S EAT.
341
00:16:07,267 --> 00:16:09,278
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!
342
00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:11,113
WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?
343
00:16:11,137 --> 00:16:12,881
WHAT, YOU WERE EAVESDROPPING?
344
00:16:12,905 --> 00:16:14,238
IT'S THOSE BIG EARS.
345
00:16:14,274 --> 00:16:17,709
THEY'RE NOT BIG!
346
00:16:17,744 --> 00:16:19,555
HE HASN'T BEEN IN LAW
SCHOOL FOR OVER 2 YEARS.
347
00:16:19,579 --> 00:16:20,912
WHAT?!
348
00:16:20,947 --> 00:16:24,782
YEAH, AND HE QUIT THE LAW TO
DRAW CARICATURES IN THE PARK.
349
00:16:24,818 --> 00:16:26,351
WHAT?!
350
00:16:26,386 --> 00:16:28,752
THERE! NOW, DON'T
YOU FEEL BETTER?
351
00:16:31,123 --> 00:16:32,590
I KNOW I DO.
352
00:16:32,625 --> 00:16:34,625
I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU LEFT THE FIRM.
353
00:16:34,660 --> 00:16:37,961
WHERE AM I SUPPOSED TO WORK
WHEN I GRADUATE LAW SCHOOL?
354
00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:40,008
YOU'RE NOT IN LAW SCHOOL.
355
00:16:40,032 --> 00:16:42,466
YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT, YOU...
356
00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:46,237
YOU... CARICATURIST.
357
00:16:46,272 --> 00:16:48,005
I AM A SKETCH ARTIST!
358
00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:49,451
I THOUGHT YOU WERE A LAWYER.
359
00:16:49,475 --> 00:16:50,952
WELL, I THOUGHT YOU
WERE A LAW STUDENT.
360
00:16:50,976 --> 00:16:52,421
WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN
DOING THE LAST 2 YEARS?
361
00:16:52,445 --> 00:16:54,055
I'VE BEEN A PHILOSOPHY MAJOR.
362
00:16:54,079 --> 00:16:55,713
OH! THAT'S USEFUL!
363
00:16:55,748 --> 00:16:57,826
SEE? THAT'S EXACTLY
WHY I DIDN'T TELL YOU.
364
00:16:57,850 --> 00:16:59,628
I DIDN'T WANNA
DISAPPOINT MY FATHER,
365
00:16:59,652 --> 00:17:01,619
THE WORLD RENOWN SKETCH ARTIST.
366
00:17:01,654 --> 00:17:04,455
SEE? THIS IS WORKING,
THIS IS WORKING.
367
00:17:04,491 --> 00:17:06,023
THIS IS COMMUNICATING.
368
00:17:06,058 --> 00:17:08,626
NO, IT'S NOT. IT'S FIGHTING.
369
00:17:10,430 --> 00:17:12,697
I'M DISAPPOINTED IN YOU, PETE.
370
00:17:12,732 --> 00:17:13,842
WHAT? WHAT DID I DO?
371
00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:16,500
I TOLD YOU TO LIE!
CAN'T I TRUST YOU?
372
00:17:16,536 --> 00:17:19,537
I TOLD HIM TO LIE TO YOU, TOO.
373
00:17:19,572 --> 00:17:21,805
WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?
374
00:17:23,676 --> 00:17:26,878
I TOLD YOU, I WASN'T
GOOD AT THIS!
375
00:17:26,913 --> 00:17:28,679
KEEP IT DOWN!
376
00:17:28,714 --> 00:17:30,414
KEEP IT DOWN!
377
00:17:30,449 --> 00:17:31,593
WE'RE HARDLY YELLING.
378
00:17:31,617 --> 00:17:34,819
NO. ME. I CAN'T KEEP IT DOWN.
379
00:17:34,854 --> 00:17:35,898
SHARON. YOU OK?
380
00:17:35,922 --> 00:17:37,822
YOU GUYS, GET ME TO A DOCTOR.
381
00:17:37,857 --> 00:17:39,668
WHERE'S YOUR CAR?
AROUND THE CORNER.
382
00:17:39,692 --> 00:17:41,626
OOH! I THINK I'M GONNA BOOT.
383
00:17:46,799 --> 00:17:50,801
BERG... YOU CAN HAVE MY STEREO.
384
00:17:50,836 --> 00:17:55,472
PETE... YOU CAN HAVE MY DRESSER.
385
00:17:56,475 --> 00:17:58,756
I DON'T WANT YOUR DRESSER.
386
00:18:00,246 --> 00:18:03,480
WHY DOES HE GET THE STEREO?
387
00:18:05,017 --> 00:18:06,450
OK. THERE YOU GO.
388
00:18:06,486 --> 00:18:09,787
COMPLIMENTS OF THE HOUSE.
389
00:18:10,857 --> 00:18:12,756
I DON'T PLAY TENNIS.
390
00:18:17,997 --> 00:18:20,731
MIKE, UH, TAKE A LOOK.
391
00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:23,434
SURE.
392
00:18:24,737 --> 00:18:26,203
OH, DAD.
393
00:18:26,238 --> 00:18:30,173
OK. I KNOW IT SEEMS
STRANGE, BUT...
394
00:18:30,209 --> 00:18:32,510
YOU SPEND 30 YEARS
ARGUING IN COURT,
395
00:18:32,545 --> 00:18:35,513
AND EVERY DAY, CLIENTS
ARE STARING AT YOU,
396
00:18:35,548 --> 00:18:37,648
THEIR LIVES IN
YOUR HANDS, AND...
397
00:18:37,683 --> 00:18:38,849
YOU START DOODLING.
398
00:18:40,786 --> 00:18:42,653
WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?
399
00:18:42,689 --> 00:18:44,689
WELL, I THOUGHT IT
WOULD THROW YOU.
400
00:18:44,724 --> 00:18:48,626
I THOUGHT YOU
WANTED TO BE A LAWYER.
401
00:18:48,661 --> 00:18:50,127
NO, DAD.
402
00:18:50,163 --> 00:18:52,529
YOU WANTED ME TO BE A LAWYER.
403
00:18:52,564 --> 00:18:55,966
I WAS THE ONLY KID
IN FOURTH GRADE
404
00:18:56,002 --> 00:18:58,803
WITH A 12 ANGRY MEN LUNCHBOX.
405
00:18:58,838 --> 00:19:02,740
ALL I EVER WANTED WAS
FOR YOU TO BE HAPPY.
406
00:19:02,775 --> 00:19:05,676
SO YOU'RE NOT
TOTALLY DISAPPOINTED?
407
00:19:05,711 --> 00:19:09,146
LOOK, IF YOU DON'T
WANT TO PRACTICE LAW,
408
00:19:09,181 --> 00:19:10,848
THAT'S FINE WITH ME.
409
00:19:10,883 --> 00:19:13,028
BUT YOU GOTTA DO SOMETHING.
410
00:19:13,052 --> 00:19:14,585
AND, MY GOD, SON,
411
00:19:14,620 --> 00:19:18,722
YOU'RE CAPABLE
OF DOING ANYTHING.
412
00:19:18,757 --> 00:19:20,524
WELL, YOU KNOW...
413
00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:24,662
JUST STOP SCREWING AROUND.
414
00:19:24,697 --> 00:19:26,430
MEANWHILE, HOW DOES
MOM FEEL ABOUT ALL THIS?
415
00:19:26,466 --> 00:19:27,843
WELL, YOUR MOTHER'S A TROOPER.
416
00:19:27,867 --> 00:19:28,966
YOU HAVEN'T TOLD HER.
417
00:19:29,001 --> 00:19:29,967
YOU TELL HER ABOUT LAW SCHOOL?
418
00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:31,034
WHAT, ARE YOU CRAZY?
419
00:19:31,070 --> 00:19:33,430
NO REASON TO UPSET HER. DEAL.
420
00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:37,275
YOU KNOW, I'M GONNA
GO OVER TO TRAUMA,
421
00:19:37,310 --> 00:19:40,322
SEE IF I CAN FIND ANYBODY WHO
PLAYS BADMINTON OR TENNIS.
422
00:19:40,346 --> 00:19:41,679
GO GET 'EM, DAD.
423
00:19:43,616 --> 00:19:46,584
OK, SHARON, WHAT DID YOU EAT?
424
00:19:46,619 --> 00:19:50,120
A WHOLE BUNCH OF
SYNTHETIC CANDY BARS.
425
00:19:50,156 --> 00:19:52,200
DOCTORS, WHAT IS THE
COURSE OF TREATMENT?
426
00:19:52,224 --> 00:19:54,002
PUMP HER STOMACH.
PUMP HER STOMACH.
427
00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:55,392
Doctor: RIGHT.
428
00:19:56,896 --> 00:19:59,330
UHHH!
429
00:20:03,469 --> 00:20:04,734
YOU OK?
430
00:20:04,770 --> 00:20:07,471
WHAT DO I DO, PETE?
431
00:20:07,506 --> 00:20:09,105
NOW THAT I'M NOT BEING A LAWYER,
432
00:20:09,141 --> 00:20:10,207
WHAT COMES NEXT?
433
00:20:10,242 --> 00:20:12,220
YOU? WHAT ABOUT
ME? WHAT'S THIS MEAN?
434
00:20:12,244 --> 00:20:14,189
AFTER 30 YEARS OF
BEING AN ARCHITECT,
435
00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:17,815
I'M GONNA MELT DOWN
AND BECOME A JUGGLER?
436
00:20:17,850 --> 00:20:18,882
NO.
437
00:20:18,917 --> 00:20:23,787
I SEE YOU... GUESSING
PEOPLE'S WEIGHT.
438
00:20:23,823 --> 00:20:28,192
OK. NOW, THE NASAL
GASTRIC TUBE IS IN PLACE.
439
00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:30,995
WE HIT THE SWITCH
AND LET 'ER RIP.
440
00:20:32,632 --> 00:20:34,865
OOH! I'LL BE RIGHT HERE.
441
00:20:36,935 --> 00:20:38,769
OUTSTANDING!
442
00:20:38,804 --> 00:20:40,538
SO TELL ME, DOCTORS,
443
00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:43,552
IF MISS CARTER HERE WERE
TO CONTINUE HER CURRENT DIET,
444
00:20:43,576 --> 00:20:46,896
WHAT TYPE OF ULCEROUS
BACTERIA WOULD SHE DEVELOP?
445
00:20:47,579 --> 00:20:48,746
ANYONE?
446
00:20:48,781 --> 00:20:52,282
HALICOPACTER PYLORI,
PROBABLY IN THE DUODENUM.
447
00:20:54,687 --> 00:20:57,788
BOSTON JOURNAL OF
MEDICINE CROSSWORD PUZZLE,
448
00:20:57,823 --> 00:20:59,657
4 DOWN. OH.
449
00:21:01,527 --> 00:21:03,927
THAT'S VERY GOOD, DOCTOR...
450
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:08,232
BERGEN.
451
00:21:09,502 --> 00:21:11,413
DR. BERGEN. VERY GOOD.
452
00:21:11,437 --> 00:21:14,405
PLEASE FOLLOW ME TO I.C.U.
453
00:21:16,909 --> 00:21:18,809
LOOK, PETE.
454
00:21:18,844 --> 00:21:23,480
PRETTY GIRLS... PAJAMAS...
455
00:21:31,958 --> 00:21:34,998
SO WHAT IS THE PROGNOSIS
FOR THIS PATIENT?
456
00:21:36,428 --> 00:21:38,028
AURICULAR DIMINUTION.
457
00:21:38,063 --> 00:21:40,730
MOST COMMONLY KNOWN AS?
458
00:21:40,766 --> 00:21:43,034
EAR REDUCTION. EAR REDUCTION.
459
00:21:43,069 --> 00:21:44,801
THEY'RE NOT THAT BIG!
31640
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