Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:05,760 --> 00:00:07,720
'Dear Gwen,
2
00:00:07,720 --> 00:00:10,280
'I had an amazing
dream last night.
3
00:00:10,280 --> 00:00:12,680
'We were having
a picnic by a waterfall.
4
00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:14,440
'You made us ham
and pickle sandwiches
5
00:00:14,440 --> 00:00:16,360
'and I told you they
tasted better than Pret,
6
00:00:16,360 --> 00:00:20,480
'which you thought was funny
even though I wasn't joking.
7
00:00:20,480 --> 00:00:24,400
'You said I looked handsome and
I sang you a song with my guitar,
8
00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:27,200
'which was weird because I didn't
remember bringing a guitar,
9
00:00:27,200 --> 00:00:29,080
'but that's dreams for you.
10
00:00:29,080 --> 00:00:31,320
'Then we made love
in loads of positions
11
00:00:31,320 --> 00:00:34,640
'but mostly doggie style cos
I know that's your favourite.
12
00:00:34,640 --> 00:00:38,120
'I woke up after that.
Now all I remember is the pain.
13
00:00:40,920 --> 00:00:43,080
'I miss you, Gwen.
14
00:00:43,080 --> 00:00:44,720
'I can't go on without you
15
00:00:44,720 --> 00:00:46,240
'And that's why...
16
00:00:46,240 --> 00:00:47,960
'I've decided to kill myself.
17
00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:50,680
'Love, Andy.'
18
00:00:56,920 --> 00:00:59,000
HE TUNES RADIO
19
00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:01,960
MUSIC: "Cheeky Song"
by The Cheeky Girls
20
00:01:02,960 --> 00:01:06,600
DRAMATIC OPERA MUSIC
21
00:01:16,760 --> 00:01:18,840
MOBILE RINGS
22
00:01:23,840 --> 00:01:26,160
PHONE RINGS
23
00:01:26,160 --> 00:01:28,840
ANSWER MACHINE: Hi, this is Andy,
leave a message after the...
24
00:01:28,840 --> 00:01:30,160
HE BELCHES
25
00:01:31,280 --> 00:01:33,680
Andy? Are you there? Pick up.
26
00:01:33,680 --> 00:01:35,200
If you're listening to this
27
00:01:35,200 --> 00:01:37,720
and not answering,
I disown you as my brother.
28
00:01:37,720 --> 00:01:39,880
That's it. I'm hanging up
in ten, nine,
29
00:01:39,880 --> 00:01:42,960
eight, seven, six, five,
30
00:01:42,960 --> 00:01:49,000
four, three and a half,
three, two, one...
31
00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:51,160
This better be good. Shit!
Thank God you're there.
32
00:01:51,160 --> 00:01:53,680
What took you so long? Nothing.
33
00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:55,720
Just watching porn. OK, TMI.
34
00:01:55,720 --> 00:01:58,000
Right, can you pick Roly
up from school for me? Who?
35
00:01:58,000 --> 00:02:01,600
Errol? Your nephew.
Oh, right, Errol.
36
00:02:01,600 --> 00:02:04,480
Uh, yeah... No! Shit, Andy. When
have I ever asked you for anything?
37
00:02:04,480 --> 00:02:05,840
Exactly, so why start now?
38
00:02:05,840 --> 00:02:07,040
THEY HUSH EACH OTHER
39
00:02:07,040 --> 00:02:09,400
Because I've called every
responsible person I know
40
00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:11,760
and they're all busy.
Come on, please, I'm begging you.
41
00:02:11,760 --> 00:02:13,960
I'm actually going to hang up now.
Andy, wait! Wait!
42
00:02:13,960 --> 00:02:15,040
Wait, please. Please.
43
00:02:15,040 --> 00:02:17,880
Listen, I've just got out of class
and there's no way I can pick him up
44
00:02:17,880 --> 00:02:19,280
and get him to football on time.
45
00:02:19,280 --> 00:02:22,080
So he misses football. Big deal!
Yes, it's a huge deal, actually!
46
00:02:22,080 --> 00:02:24,240
He misses football and his
dickhead dad finds out,
47
00:02:24,240 --> 00:02:27,320
it could ruin the custody case.
Oh, come on.
48
00:02:27,320 --> 00:02:29,320
Have you really got
anything better going on?
49
00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:32,280
ELECTRICAL FIZZING
50
00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:35,560
MUSIC: "(Don't Fear) The Reaper"
by Blue Oyster Cult
51
00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:03,120
BELL RINGS
52
00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:06,680
Hey.
53
00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:09,240
Hey, little fucker.
54
00:03:09,240 --> 00:03:11,440
Hi, there. Can I help?
55
00:03:11,440 --> 00:03:14,360
Uh, hello, Miss.
I'm here to pick up Errol.
56
00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:15,600
I'm his uncle.
57
00:03:15,600 --> 00:03:17,880
Really? I've not seen you before.
58
00:03:17,880 --> 00:03:19,240
You could just be some weirdo
59
00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:21,720
looking to steal young
boys, for all I know.
60
00:03:23,160 --> 00:03:24,640
Sorry, I'm joking.
61
00:03:24,640 --> 00:03:26,600
Your sister called
to say you'd be coming.
62
00:03:26,600 --> 00:03:29,000
I couldn't resist.
Roly, your uncle's here for you!
63
00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:31,600
I didn't know Roly had an uncle.
Are you two close?
64
00:03:31,600 --> 00:03:33,200
Yeah, yeah. We're like best mates.
65
00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:34,920
I'm like a second dad to him.
66
00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:36,560
Take him out for pizza
all the time...
67
00:03:36,560 --> 00:03:38,120
I thought he was allergic to wheat.
68
00:03:38,120 --> 00:03:42,160
He is, but I know a little place
that is wheat-free all the way.
69
00:03:42,160 --> 00:03:44,760
Right. He reminds me
a lot of myself at that age.
70
00:03:44,760 --> 00:03:47,720
I mean, not as good looking,
obviously. Obviously.
71
00:03:49,560 --> 00:03:51,160
Takes his time packing, doesn't he?
72
00:03:51,160 --> 00:03:52,680
THEY CHUCKLE AWKWARDLY
73
00:03:52,680 --> 00:03:55,720
So, what do you do? I'm a musician.
Oh, musical family.
74
00:03:55,720 --> 00:03:58,040
Roly's quite the piano player,
isn't he?
75
00:03:58,040 --> 00:03:59,800
Is he? I mean, yes, he is..
76
00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:02,880
I mean, I taught him everything
I know, so he should be.
77
00:04:04,720 --> 00:04:06,520
So, what do you do?
78
00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:09,920
I'm a teacher. Oh, yes, of course.
79
00:04:09,920 --> 00:04:12,000
Just checking!
80
00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:13,040
Hey, mate. Up top!
81
00:04:14,240 --> 00:04:18,920
That is classic Roly.
He is always missing the high five.
82
00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:20,960
My name's Andy, by the way. Melodie.
83
00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:23,080
Melodie? That's got
a nice ring to it.
84
00:04:27,440 --> 00:04:28,560
Bye...Bye, then.
85
00:04:33,520 --> 00:04:35,440
Come on, I haven't got all day.
86
00:04:37,920 --> 00:04:39,760
IN HIGH, GRATING VOICE:
"Hi, Uncle Andy.
87
00:04:39,760 --> 00:04:40,920
"Thanks for picking me up.
88
00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:43,120
"I'm sure you've got lots
of more important things
89
00:04:43,120 --> 00:04:45,360
"to be getting on with."
Why couldn't Mum pick me up?
90
00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:49,440
Because she's dead. I've come
to take you to identify the body.
91
00:04:49,440 --> 00:04:50,760
That's not funny.
92
00:04:50,760 --> 00:04:53,240
Well, I'm only a chauffeur,
I'm not a bloody comedian.
93
00:04:53,240 --> 00:04:54,600
Come on!
94
00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:03,640
Do you mind?
I'm allergic to cigarettes.
95
00:05:03,640 --> 00:05:05,240
Since when? Since my whole life.
96
00:05:07,560 --> 00:05:09,560
So, Roly... Don't call me that.
97
00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:11,960
Fine, Errol. Are you
any good at football?
98
00:05:11,960 --> 00:05:14,320
You don't have to do this.
Do what? Make small talk.
99
00:05:14,320 --> 00:05:16,080
We could just not talk. Fine.
100
00:05:16,080 --> 00:05:18,600
That's absolutely fine by me.
We'll just sit in silence.
101
00:05:18,600 --> 00:05:19,680
That's great.
102
00:05:19,680 --> 00:05:21,960
We'll just sit here in silence,
not talking.
103
00:05:24,840 --> 00:05:25,880
OK, what are you doing?
104
00:05:25,880 --> 00:05:28,480
I'm counting how long it'll take you
to start talking again.
105
00:05:28,480 --> 00:05:31,000
Yeah, great. OK, brilliant.
We don't need to do small talk.
106
00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:32,720
Let's jump straight
into the big stuff.
107
00:05:32,720 --> 00:05:33,840
Do you have a girlfriend?
108
00:05:33,840 --> 00:05:35,800
No. You have to be in love
to have a girlfriend.
109
00:05:35,800 --> 00:05:37,120
Let me tell you about love.
110
00:05:37,120 --> 00:05:39,680
When you're in love, it feels
like you're walking on water,
111
00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:40,720
and then you realise,
112
00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:42,360
"Oh, hang on, I'm not
walking on water,
113
00:05:42,360 --> 00:05:43,920
"I'm actually drowning."
114
00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:48,040
Then a shark bites off your foot
and you go, "AH! AH! MY FOOT!"
115
00:05:48,040 --> 00:05:49,600
Then another shark comes along
116
00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:51,840
and it goes straight
for your cock and balls!
117
00:05:51,840 --> 00:05:54,480
And you're going "Save me!
Somebody, save me!"
118
00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:56,920
Then a seagull plucks you out
of the water and you think,
119
00:05:56,920 --> 00:05:58,920
"I'm saved! I'm saved!"
120
00:05:58,920 --> 00:06:01,280
and then he drops you
on to the jagged rocks
121
00:06:01,280 --> 00:06:04,160
and you explode like
a rotten watermelon
122
00:06:04,160 --> 00:06:06,680
and there's blood and guts
and broken bones everywhere
123
00:06:06,680 --> 00:06:09,400
and you think "Well, at least
it couldn't get any worse."
124
00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:12,800
And then that is when the hyenas
come along and eat you up
125
00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:14,800
and you know what you end up
being then, Errol?
126
00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:16,560
Do you know what you end
up being then?
127
00:06:16,560 --> 00:06:19,080
Just a steaming pile of hyena shit.
That's love.
128
00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:22,600
You want to lighten up, mate.
129
00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:24,360
Get some of that down you.
No, thanks.
130
00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:26,000
As your uncle, I command you.
131
00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:29,640
Uncle(!) What's so funny about that?
132
00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:31,680
When's my birthday?
133
00:06:31,680 --> 00:06:33,600
June... J-Ju...
134
00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:34,720
March 2nd.
135
00:06:34,720 --> 00:06:36,720
Fine! I'm no good
with dates and details
136
00:06:36,720 --> 00:06:38,200
but I'm good at the big stuff.
137
00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:39,680
What's my middle name?
138
00:06:39,680 --> 00:06:41,640
Come on. This one's easy.
139
00:06:41,640 --> 00:06:42,680
Is it Errol?
140
00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:45,520
You think my name's Errol Errol?
141
00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:46,840
All right, fine.
142
00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:48,120
You think that I have shown
143
00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:50,560
a distinct lack of interest
in your life up till now
144
00:06:50,560 --> 00:06:51,840
and you'll be right.
145
00:06:51,840 --> 00:06:53,560
I find you incredibly
tedious and dull.
146
00:06:53,560 --> 00:06:55,640
But what have you ever done
that's interesting?
147
00:06:55,640 --> 00:06:57,200
That's the problem with kids today -
148
00:06:57,200 --> 00:06:59,280
they think everything
they do is interesting.
149
00:06:59,280 --> 00:07:01,240
"Oh, look at me
with my cool allergies
150
00:07:01,240 --> 00:07:03,080
"and my-my...wheelie backpack."
151
00:07:03,080 --> 00:07:04,920
What's interesting about that?
152
00:07:04,920 --> 00:07:07,000
Nothing! I'm a musician.
That's interesting.
153
00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:10,040
My dad says "musician" is just
another word for "unemployed."
154
00:07:10,040 --> 00:07:11,520
Your dad's hardly an altar boy.
155
00:07:11,520 --> 00:07:13,280
Do you even know
how your parents met?
156
00:07:13,280 --> 00:07:14,640
They met through their dealer.
157
00:07:14,640 --> 00:07:17,000
His name was "Eclypse",
if memory serves me correctly.
158
00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:18,280
What do you mean by "dealer?"
159
00:07:18,280 --> 00:07:20,360
You know, drug dealer.
Like a pharmacist?
160
00:07:20,360 --> 00:07:23,240
Yeah, like a pharmacist. Like a
pharmacist who borrows your DVDs.
161
00:07:23,240 --> 00:07:24,760
MOBILE RINGS
162
00:07:24,760 --> 00:07:26,800
You can't answer while driving,
it's illegal.
163
00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:29,480
Hello?
164
00:07:29,480 --> 00:07:31,200
Hey, how are my two favourite boys?
165
00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:33,560
Yeah, we're getting on
like a fucking house on fire.
166
00:07:33,560 --> 00:07:35,960
Oh, that's great. Listen -
little change of plan.
167
00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:37,200
I thought I'd be done by now
168
00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:39,120
but I have a meeting
with my professor.
169
00:07:39,120 --> 00:07:42,200
So, um, do you mind bringing
Roly home after the game?
170
00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:43,800
TYRES SCREECH
171
00:07:43,800 --> 00:07:46,600
Shit! I know, I'm really sorry.
I'll make it up to you, I swear.
172
00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:50,920
Yeah, that's absolutely great.
Yes. Um, bye. Thank you.
173
00:07:50,920 --> 00:07:52,040
Fucking hell!
174
00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:56,840
Get out the car. Hi.
175
00:07:57,920 --> 00:08:01,400
That-that wasn't my fault...
Get out of the car now.
176
00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:02,480
It was his fault.
177
00:08:02,480 --> 00:08:03,520
What?! No, it wasn't!
178
00:08:03,520 --> 00:08:07,280
Yeah. He covered my eyes while
I was driving. I couldn't see.
179
00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:10,440
Kids, eh? Are you a family man?
Get out
180
00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:12,200
or I'll pull you out.
181
00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:14,000
OK, well...
182
00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:17,720
You take a couple of steps back
and then I can get out the car
183
00:08:17,720 --> 00:08:20,680
and we can discuss this
like a couple of civilised...
184
00:08:20,680 --> 00:08:22,880
Oi! Fuck off, you fuck-faced fuck!
185
00:08:22,880 --> 00:08:24,160
Stop that car!
186
00:08:25,520 --> 00:08:27,320
Fucking wanker!
187
00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:29,560
I'm telling mum about this.
She's going to kill you.
188
00:08:29,560 --> 00:08:31,160
Yeah, not if I beat her to it.
189
00:08:34,880 --> 00:08:36,480
Come on! Someone get on him!
190
00:08:38,120 --> 00:08:39,840
That's it, take him! Take him!
191
00:08:42,040 --> 00:08:43,840
Nice dive, Tom Daley!
192
00:08:43,840 --> 00:08:46,840
Boo! Save it for the Oscars!
193
00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:50,000
Suck it up, you pussy!
194
00:08:51,320 --> 00:08:52,880
Oh, look, it's Wayne Puny!
195
00:08:54,160 --> 00:08:56,720
I've seen better ball handling
from a priest!
196
00:08:56,720 --> 00:08:58,920
Yellow card for time wasting!
197
00:08:58,920 --> 00:09:01,680
Red card for being shit!
198
00:09:03,120 --> 00:09:06,040
We're not being too harsh, are we?
Nah, it's character building.
199
00:09:06,040 --> 00:09:07,680
Which one's yours, then?
200
00:09:07,680 --> 00:09:08,880
Uh...that one.
201
00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:13,600
That's my little girl, Tiffany.
Isn't she something?
202
00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:15,400
Yeah, she's certainly something.
203
00:09:17,320 --> 00:09:19,800
Can I have some water, please?
I'm really parched.
204
00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:20,920
What's this?
205
00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:23,800
"Ask a stranger for water day?"
Get your own water!
206
00:09:26,840 --> 00:09:29,400
I feel sorry for his parents.
207
00:09:29,400 --> 00:09:30,920
Do you fancy a smoke?
208
00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:34,040
Oh, no, my wife made me
give up the ol' cigarettes.
209
00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:36,240
No. I mean like a "smoke".
210
00:09:36,240 --> 00:09:38,360
WHISTLE BLOWS
211
00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:42,880
This is exactly what I needed.
212
00:09:44,120 --> 00:09:45,560
Happy to help.
213
00:09:45,560 --> 00:09:46,880
Do you know what we are?
214
00:09:48,080 --> 00:09:49,640
What? We're the cool dads.
215
00:09:51,360 --> 00:09:53,280
Yeah, that's what we are.
216
00:09:54,560 --> 00:09:56,560
It's Bruce, by the way.
217
00:09:56,560 --> 00:09:58,400
Andy. So, what do you do, Andy?
218
00:09:58,400 --> 00:09:59,840
I'm a musician.
219
00:09:59,840 --> 00:10:02,920
What? No way! Rock 'n' roll, man.
220
00:10:02,920 --> 00:10:05,080
Have I heard anything of yours?
221
00:10:05,080 --> 00:10:07,560
You know the CottonCare
toilet paper adverts?
222
00:10:07,560 --> 00:10:11,200
Yeah! With the giant stuffed bears
having that pillow fight?
223
00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:12,880
Yeah, I wrote the jingle for that.
224
00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:16,200
That's cool. Yeah, it is.
225
00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:17,840
What do you do?
226
00:10:17,840 --> 00:10:20,560
I have the greatest
job in the world.
227
00:10:20,560 --> 00:10:21,640
You're a porn star?
228
00:10:21,640 --> 00:10:24,480
All right, second greatest job.
229
00:10:24,480 --> 00:10:25,720
I'm a stay-at-home dad.
230
00:10:28,640 --> 00:10:31,360
So, Tiffany,
she's yours then, is she? Yep.
231
00:10:31,360 --> 00:10:35,440
That big blonde Viking girl
over there is yours? Yep.
232
00:10:36,560 --> 00:10:39,960
How does that work, then?
I'm her step-dad.
233
00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:42,840
But do you know why they
call it a step-dad? No, why?
234
00:10:42,840 --> 00:10:44,880
Cos I'd step in front
of a bus for that girl.
235
00:10:47,240 --> 00:10:52,720
I don't think I'd step in front
of a slow-moving bike for anyone.
236
00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:55,280
Oh, wheelie backpack, nice.
237
00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:57,480
I've been thinking of
getting Tiff one of these.
238
00:10:57,480 --> 00:10:59,320
PHONE RINGS
239
00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:00,480
It's Gwen!
240
00:11:00,480 --> 00:11:01,840
Hello? Gwen?
241
00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:03,680
Gwen? Hello?
242
00:11:03,680 --> 00:11:05,720
What the fuck? Hello, Gwen?
243
00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:10,080
Uh... I've got to go.
244
00:11:11,520 --> 00:11:13,440
Come on! Let's go.
But the game's not over.
245
00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:15,880
Fine. I'll give you 20 quid.
246
00:11:15,880 --> 00:11:19,520
Ah! My leg! It's broken.
247
00:11:19,520 --> 00:11:22,160
It's broken! I think it's my fibula!
248
00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:24,200
Oh, no! Not your fibula!
249
00:11:25,320 --> 00:11:27,120
Weak fibulas run in our family.
250
00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:28,760
I better take you to a hospital.
251
00:11:28,760 --> 00:11:30,840
Make way!
252
00:11:30,840 --> 00:11:32,960
He's deceptively heavy!
253
00:11:36,520 --> 00:11:38,000
Get in!
254
00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:46,400
Where are we? I thought you
were taking me home. Wait here.
255
00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:49,000
I'll be back in a few minutes.
Take me home or I'm telling Mum.
256
00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:51,320
Fine. Tell her what you like.
257
00:11:51,320 --> 00:11:53,600
CRYING: "Mummy!
258
00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:57,120
"Uncle Andy touched
my special equipment."
259
00:11:57,120 --> 00:11:58,280
Special equipment?
260
00:11:59,480 --> 00:12:01,800
You twisted little...
Fine, if you tell her that
261
00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:04,600
then I am going to show her this!
262
00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:08,840
That's not mine.
Yeah? It was in your bag.
263
00:12:08,840 --> 00:12:11,440
I was keeping it for a friend.
Give it back. No!
264
00:12:12,680 --> 00:12:15,520
Well, you can tell your friend
the lady parts don't go on the front
265
00:12:15,520 --> 00:12:16,640
like a coin slot,
266
00:12:16,640 --> 00:12:18,880
but asides from that,
ten out of ten for accuracy.
267
00:12:18,880 --> 00:12:21,120
Now, you wait here
like a good little boy
268
00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:22,440
and I will give you that back.
269
00:12:22,440 --> 00:12:24,400
I hate you.
And I hate you too, munchkin.
270
00:12:25,760 --> 00:12:27,640
Here you go.
Brush up on your anatomy.
271
00:12:27,640 --> 00:12:29,040
Happy birthday, mate.
272
00:12:49,040 --> 00:12:50,680
Where do you think you're going?
273
00:12:50,680 --> 00:12:52,960
Please let me in. My dad's in there.
274
00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:54,600
Sorry, son. No kids allowed.
275
00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:16,440
Andy, what are you doing here?!
What am I doing here?
276
00:13:16,440 --> 00:13:17,840
You're the one who phoned me.
277
00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:20,480
That was a mistake.
I was trying to delete your number.
278
00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:22,360
I call it a sign. Yeah, a stop sign.
279
00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:25,320
We had a fun few months
but it is over.
280
00:13:25,320 --> 00:13:27,120
Is this because of the sex tape?
281
00:13:27,120 --> 00:13:29,400
Look, I messed up but you
understand, I was hammered.
282
00:13:29,400 --> 00:13:31,240
Me and the boys were
playing truth or dare.
283
00:13:31,240 --> 00:13:33,360
They dared me to put it online.
They dared me!
284
00:13:33,360 --> 00:13:35,480
How did they even
know about the tape?
285
00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:37,080
Well, that was the truth question.
286
00:13:37,080 --> 00:13:38,760
It's not like you could
see your face
287
00:13:38,760 --> 00:13:41,280
and it was hardly a flattering
angle for me either, so...
288
00:13:42,920 --> 00:13:45,160
God, I've missed you.
We're not back together, Andy.
289
00:13:45,160 --> 00:13:47,160
But we were great together. Were we?
290
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:49,360
I mean, OK, the sex was...
291
00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:52,280
surprisingly good but I thought
there'd be more to you.
292
00:13:52,280 --> 00:13:56,600
Some secret layer of maturity
hidden under all...that.
293
00:13:56,600 --> 00:13:58,600
I'm mature.
I watch the Culture Show.
294
00:13:58,600 --> 00:14:00,560
Come on, Gwen.
295
00:14:00,560 --> 00:14:01,760
I love you.
296
00:14:03,800 --> 00:14:06,360
You need to leave before
my dad sees you here.
297
00:14:06,360 --> 00:14:09,000
I'm not going anywhere
until you take me back.
298
00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:10,360
HE GRUNTS
299
00:14:10,360 --> 00:14:12,800
Come on, Gwen.
Just give me one more chance.
300
00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:14,600
No. Look at you.
301
00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:17,240
You're just too irresponsible.
302
00:14:17,240 --> 00:14:21,720
Daddy! Sorry. I had to let him in.
That boy can cry.
303
00:14:21,720 --> 00:14:23,880
Give me back my drawing.
304
00:14:23,880 --> 00:14:25,960
Andy, is this your...son?
305
00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:29,400
Y-yes, that's who he is.
306
00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:30,680
He's my son.
307
00:14:30,680 --> 00:14:33,320
What's your name, darling?
Romeo. His name's Romeo.
308
00:14:33,320 --> 00:14:35,000
Isn't it? Romeo?
309
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:37,320
Do you mind if me and Romeo
just go over here
310
00:14:37,320 --> 00:14:39,280
and have a little chat?
Is that..? Yep, good.
311
00:14:40,320 --> 00:14:42,520
OK, I'm going to give you
your drawing back,
312
00:14:42,520 --> 00:14:45,960
but you've got to promise me you're
going to keep this "daddy" thing
313
00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:47,840
going for a little bit longer. Deal?
314
00:14:47,840 --> 00:14:50,800
Deal. What is Meatloaf Junior
doing in my club?
315
00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:53,360
It's OK, Dad.
Everything's under control.
316
00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:56,080
Hello, Mr Pearson.
You're looking lovely today as ever.
317
00:14:56,080 --> 00:14:58,200
She's too good for you,
do you hear me?
318
00:14:58,200 --> 00:15:00,160
Please, not in front of my boy.
Dad! Let him go.
319
00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:04,440
You hurt my little girl and I will
cut your dick off with a spoon.
320
00:15:04,440 --> 00:15:07,160
Do you understand? Yes, I-I-I do.
321
00:15:07,160 --> 00:15:09,440
Dick. Spoon.
322
00:15:15,240 --> 00:15:17,920
You OK? Yep. Thank you.
323
00:15:17,920 --> 00:15:19,600
Well, then...
324
00:15:19,600 --> 00:15:21,000
I think he's, uh,
325
00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:22,160
starting to like me.
326
00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:27,760
I don't understand. I've been
to your flat loads of times.
327
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:29,200
Where have you been hiding him?
328
00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:30,800
Well, every time
that you'd come over
329
00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:32,440
I'd send him off
to my sister's place.
330
00:15:32,440 --> 00:15:34,640
Seemed like the
responsible thing to do.
331
00:15:34,640 --> 00:15:36,160
But why didn't you just tell me?
332
00:15:36,160 --> 00:15:37,920
Who wants to go out
with a single dad?
333
00:15:37,920 --> 00:15:40,560
All that responsibility.
Cooking him meals,
334
00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:42,200
taking him to football practice
335
00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:44,480
and helping him with his homework,
336
00:15:44,480 --> 00:15:46,440
looking for monsters under his bed.
337
00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:48,280
It just seems like so much...
338
00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:50,680
Responsibility? Responsibility,
yeah.
339
00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:53,680
What happened to his mum?
She died in childbirth.
340
00:15:53,680 --> 00:15:56,280
Shit. Yep, his head was too big.
341
00:15:56,280 --> 00:15:58,160
Ripped her apart like wet paper.
342
00:15:58,160 --> 00:16:00,680
I had to stay strong for him,
though. Didn't I, little guy?
343
00:16:00,680 --> 00:16:01,800
This explains so much.
344
00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:03,480
I thought there was something weird,
345
00:16:03,480 --> 00:16:05,560
like you had half a
personality or something,
346
00:16:05,560 --> 00:16:08,600
but I know now.
You were hiding this huge thing.
347
00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:10,240
You thought I had half a
personality?
348
00:16:10,240 --> 00:16:12,320
You must be bored listening
to us adults talk.
349
00:16:12,320 --> 00:16:14,760
Do you want to go in the office
and watch some cartoons?
350
00:16:14,760 --> 00:16:16,520
He'd love that, wouldn't you, Romeo?
351
00:16:16,520 --> 00:16:18,480
No, I hate cartoons.
They give me a headache.
352
00:16:18,480 --> 00:16:21,520
He's kidding. We watch South Park
together all the time.
353
00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:23,120
Isn't he a bit young for that?
354
00:16:23,120 --> 00:16:25,760
That's right. We watch it on mute.
I want more ice cream.
355
00:16:25,760 --> 00:16:28,200
Why don't you finish what
you've got there, champ?
356
00:16:30,160 --> 00:16:32,760
WHISPERING: Get me another
scoop or I'll spill the beans...
357
00:16:33,920 --> 00:16:36,680
..Dad. You two are so cute together.
358
00:16:36,680 --> 00:16:38,800
MOBILE RINGS
359
00:16:38,800 --> 00:16:40,040
I've got to take this.
360
00:16:42,760 --> 00:16:44,080
Yes, what is it?
361
00:16:44,080 --> 00:16:45,760
Where are you?
362
00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:48,760
Um, I am stuck in traffic right now.
363
00:16:48,760 --> 00:16:50,680
It looks like there's
been an accident.
364
00:16:50,680 --> 00:16:52,680
I'm probably going to
be at least another hour.
365
00:16:52,680 --> 00:16:54,880
Shit! You're joking.
You have to be home by six.
366
00:16:54,880 --> 00:16:57,320
Roly's Dad is calling.
Just tell him to call back later.
367
00:16:57,320 --> 00:16:59,360
If Roly misses his dad,
it'll break his routine.
368
00:16:59,360 --> 00:17:01,720
Have you ever seen a 12-year-old
have an OCD meltdown?
369
00:17:01,720 --> 00:17:03,040
It's not pretty, Andy.
370
00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:07,120
Andy?! Fine, I'll get him
back on time. Thank you.
371
00:17:08,640 --> 00:17:10,240
Who was that?
372
00:17:11,640 --> 00:17:15,520
Just some mum trying
to organise a play date.
373
00:17:15,520 --> 00:17:17,440
Mums, eh?
374
00:17:17,440 --> 00:17:20,240
Oh, is that the time?
I better be going.
375
00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:23,640
You know, listening to you
talk about being a dad...
376
00:17:23,640 --> 00:17:26,200
It's actually pretty hot.
Yeah, I'd better go.
377
00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:28,040
Wait, what? Yeah.
378
00:17:28,040 --> 00:17:29,480
Tell me about it.
379
00:17:32,880 --> 00:17:34,040
Well...
380
00:17:35,080 --> 00:17:37,920
..he's the greatest thing
that ever happened to me.
381
00:17:37,920 --> 00:17:40,400
Does he make you want
to be a better man?
382
00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:42,760
Yes, he does. He makes me
want to be Prime Minister.
383
00:17:43,760 --> 00:17:47,200
Or, at the very least,
the Mayor of London.
384
00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:51,360
You've had to sacrifice
a lot for him, haven't you?
385
00:17:51,360 --> 00:17:54,920
So, so much. But it's all worth it.
386
00:17:56,240 --> 00:17:57,800
You know why?
387
00:17:57,800 --> 00:17:59,400
Tell me.
388
00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:02,720
Cos no matter what I do
with the rest of my life,
389
00:18:02,720 --> 00:18:06,160
he is my greatest achievement.
390
00:18:10,760 --> 00:18:12,320
How's the ice cream?
391
00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:13,560
It's OK.
392
00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:15,720
I prefer soy ice cream, though.
393
00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:17,560
It's funny, you don't
look like your dad.
394
00:18:17,560 --> 00:18:20,240
That's because the
ugly gene is recessive.
395
00:18:20,240 --> 00:18:22,040
I think we're going to get on.
396
00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:24,480
Why do you dress like that?
This is how I feel comfortable.
397
00:18:24,480 --> 00:18:26,680
Don't you feel comfortable
in what you're wearing?
398
00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:28,440
No, this school uniform
gives me a rash,
399
00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:29,920
but I know what you mean, though.
400
00:18:29,920 --> 00:18:33,600
I have this pair of pyjamas that
I like so much, I had my mum buy
seven pairs of them,
401
00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:35,480
one for every day of the week.
402
00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:36,600
Uh, I mean my dead mum.
403
00:18:36,600 --> 00:18:37,960
How did your parents meet?
404
00:18:37,960 --> 00:18:40,880
Their pharmacist introduced them.
405
00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:42,120
His name was Eclypse.
406
00:18:42,120 --> 00:18:43,720
Are you married? No.
407
00:18:43,720 --> 00:18:45,680
I used to be.
To Gwen's mum? Mmm-hmm.
408
00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:49,040
Did she divorce you
because you dress like a lady?
409
00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:51,680
You ask a lot of questions.
You skip a lot of questions.
410
00:18:51,680 --> 00:18:53,720
You ready to go, kiddo?
In a bit of a hurry.
411
00:18:53,720 --> 00:18:54,760
Where've you two been?
412
00:18:54,760 --> 00:18:56,760
Just went outside for a smoke.
413
00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:58,200
I love smoking.
414
00:18:58,200 --> 00:18:59,320
Your fly's undone.
415
00:19:05,360 --> 00:19:06,880
Can I have a word?
416
00:19:12,320 --> 00:19:14,760
It's not what you think.
My flies are always coming undone
417
00:19:14,760 --> 00:19:17,440
and I just think it's a
manufacturing problem... Shut up.
418
00:19:18,680 --> 00:19:20,520
I know we've had our differences
419
00:19:20,520 --> 00:19:24,200
but I also know how hard it
is being a single dad.
420
00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:25,880
And I have to respect you
421
00:19:25,880 --> 00:19:28,440
for the job you've done
on your little kid.
422
00:19:28,440 --> 00:19:30,640
He's a good boy.
423
00:19:30,640 --> 00:19:33,240
Maybe you're not the useless
prick I thought you were.
424
00:19:35,120 --> 00:19:36,840
Thank you. Hmm.
425
00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:41,280
But you still hurt my little girl
and I will rip your...
426
00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:44,040
Dickspoon. yeah, I got you.
All right.
427
00:19:48,280 --> 00:19:50,880
We have to go. Do you really?
We were having such a nice time.
428
00:19:50,880 --> 00:19:53,480
Yeah, I know, but I've got
to get this one to a piano lesson.
429
00:19:53,480 --> 00:19:54,880
Haven't I, Maestro?
430
00:19:54,880 --> 00:19:56,080
Don't touch me.
431
00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:58,560
Boundary issues.
When can I see you again?
432
00:19:58,560 --> 00:20:00,160
Well, that depends.
433
00:20:00,160 --> 00:20:02,200
How committed are you to changing?
434
00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:04,600
I'll show you how committed I am.
435
00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:05,960
Gwen...
436
00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:08,280
..marry me.
437
00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:11,200
I'm not his son!
438
00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:13,000
He paid me to say I was.
Don't listen to him.
439
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:14,600
And my name's not Romeo,
it's Errol!
440
00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:16,200
What sort of a stupid name is Errol?
441
00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:18,760
He's just angry his mum couldn't
pick him up from school.
442
00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:21,520
You told me his mum was dead?
She is.
443
00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:22,920
That's part of the problem.
444
00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:25,240
DAAAAAD!
445
00:20:30,560 --> 00:20:32,440
# Gwen
446
00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:35,960
# Do you remember when
447
00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:38,920
# We were more than friends?
448
00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:41,800
# Do you remember when..?
449
00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:45,240
# Every time that you'd get cold
450
00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:46,880
# I'd put my coat
around your shoulder
451
00:20:46,880 --> 00:20:48,360
# I'd pick you flowers
in a bunch
452
00:20:48,360 --> 00:20:50,080
# And buy you tampons every month
453
00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:51,800
# I rubbed your shoulders
when they hurt
454
00:20:51,800 --> 00:20:53,400
# I helped you finish your dessert
455
00:20:53,400 --> 00:20:55,040
# I flushed that spider
down the bath
456
00:20:55,040 --> 00:20:56,640
# I punched my dick
to make you laugh
457
00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:58,280
# I'd compliment you on your dress
458
00:20:58,280 --> 00:21:00,080
# I'd shut your mouth
when you got stressed
459
00:21:00,080 --> 00:21:01,640
# I'd buy you drinks
and get you drunk
460
00:21:01,640 --> 00:21:03,320
# I'd even clean up my own mess
461
00:21:03,320 --> 00:21:04,920
# Gwen!
462
00:21:04,920 --> 00:21:07,240
# Do you remember when
463
00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:11,280
# I was your best boyfriend?
464
00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:13,680
# Oh, take me back again
465
00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:14,800
# Oh, Gwen
466
00:21:14,800 --> 00:21:16,320
# Oh, Gwen, Gwen, Gwen, Gwen
467
00:21:16,320 --> 00:21:17,880
# I took you on the Ferris wheel
468
00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:19,320
# I let you pay for half the meal
469
00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:21,040
# When you were looking very hard
470
00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:22,600
# I helped you find your credit card
471
00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:24,400
# I fixed your teapot that I broke
472
00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:26,080
# I tried to listen when you spoke
473
00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:27,680
# I said that I was in the wrong
474
00:21:27,680 --> 00:21:29,440
# And then I wrote
this fucking song
475
00:21:29,440 --> 00:21:31,400
# Gwen!
476
00:21:31,400 --> 00:21:34,680
# I think I got the bends
477
00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:37,840
# Have there been other men?
478
00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:40,800
# Do you remember when..?
479
00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:42,440
# Oh, Gwen, Gwen, Gwen, Gwen
480
00:21:42,440 --> 00:21:44,520
# Gwen!
481
00:21:44,520 --> 00:21:47,680
# It doesn't have to end
482
00:21:47,680 --> 00:21:51,120
# It's something we can mend
483
00:21:51,120 --> 00:21:53,800
# Do you remember when..?
484
00:21:53,800 --> 00:21:56,320
# Oh, Gwen, Gwen, Gwen,
Gwen, Gwen #
485
00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:02,160
Can you take me home now?
486
00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:04,280
Make your own way home. Hey!
487
00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:05,680
You can't just leave me!
488
00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:08,680
Do you know what you've just done?
489
00:22:08,680 --> 00:22:10,960
You just ruined my last
chance at happiness.
490
00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:12,000
But you lied to her.
491
00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:13,800
IN GRATING VOICE:
"But you lied to her."
492
00:22:13,800 --> 00:22:15,000
So what?! Everyone lies.
493
00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:16,080
All the time. You lied.
494
00:22:16,080 --> 00:22:18,600
You lied about your leg,
you lied about the drawing.
495
00:22:18,600 --> 00:22:19,720
Do you want the truth?
496
00:22:19,720 --> 00:22:21,560
The truth is no-one's
got any time for you.
497
00:22:21,560 --> 00:22:24,320
Not your mum, not your dad
and especially not me.
498
00:22:24,320 --> 00:22:26,840
Why should I go out of my way
to keep the Little Prince happy?
499
00:22:26,840 --> 00:22:28,080
You'll never be happy.
500
00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:30,240
Do you know why? Because
it's all about yourself.
501
00:22:30,240 --> 00:22:31,680
It's all "me-me-me-me".
502
00:22:35,840 --> 00:22:37,520
Shit. Roly!
503
00:22:44,920 --> 00:22:47,600
HORN HONKS
504
00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:02,120
Here they are!
My two travellers, home at las...
505
00:23:02,120 --> 00:23:03,720
Oh, shit! What happened
to your face?
506
00:23:03,720 --> 00:23:05,240
Nothing. I just...
507
00:23:06,280 --> 00:23:08,320
..ran into a goal post.
508
00:23:08,320 --> 00:23:10,240
Well, come in.
Let me get you some ice.
509
00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:14,720
So, did you two have a good time?
510
00:23:14,720 --> 00:23:15,760
Look, Sam...
511
00:23:16,960 --> 00:23:19,120
..before you hear it from Errol,
512
00:23:19,120 --> 00:23:21,520
you should probably hear it
from me first...
513
00:23:21,520 --> 00:23:22,920
We had the best time ever!
514
00:23:22,920 --> 00:23:24,960
Uncle Andy even took me
for ice cream.
515
00:23:24,960 --> 00:23:26,720
Did he? That was nice of him.
516
00:23:26,720 --> 00:23:28,160
PHONE RINGS
517
00:23:28,160 --> 00:23:29,880
Oh, quick. That'll be your dad.
Get it.
518
00:23:31,600 --> 00:23:34,400
You'll never guess what.
What? You're pregnant again?
519
00:23:34,400 --> 00:23:37,360
Fuck off. No, I've got
this amazing professor.
520
00:23:37,360 --> 00:23:39,760
He gave me an "A" in my
compulsive behaviours essay.
521
00:23:39,760 --> 00:23:41,040
He said it was incandescent.
522
00:23:41,040 --> 00:23:43,360
Congratulations.
He definitely wants to bang you.
523
00:23:43,360 --> 00:23:46,040
Oh, God, I hope so,
he's really, really fit.
524
00:23:46,040 --> 00:23:48,840
Anyway, enough about me -
what did you two talk about?
525
00:23:48,840 --> 00:23:50,800
Oh, nothing. Women, football.
526
00:23:50,800 --> 00:23:52,320
Uncle/nephew-type stuff.
527
00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:02,360
You know, you really
saved my life today.
528
00:24:02,360 --> 00:24:04,440
Well, you'd do the same for me,
wouldn't you?
529
00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:08,480
So, now uni's started again,
530
00:24:08,480 --> 00:24:10,920
do you think you could help out
with Roly once in a while?
531
00:24:10,920 --> 00:24:13,560
Yeah, if I'm still around.
Still around? Where are you going?
532
00:24:13,560 --> 00:24:16,120
Nowhere. It's just
a figure of speech, isn't it?
533
00:24:16,120 --> 00:24:17,960
Look, I'm going to give
that back to you
534
00:24:17,960 --> 00:24:20,000
cos I don't really know
what I'm doing with it.
535
00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:21,800
It's not really doing
anything for me
536
00:24:21,800 --> 00:24:23,280
and I'm going to go.
537
00:24:23,280 --> 00:24:24,440
Got a hot date?
538
00:24:24,440 --> 00:24:25,680
Yeah, something like that.
539
00:24:25,680 --> 00:24:27,120
Oo-ooh!
540
00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:29,520
Thank you.
541
00:24:29,520 --> 00:24:30,640
Yep. See you.
542
00:24:32,520 --> 00:24:33,600
Andrew.
543
00:24:35,680 --> 00:24:37,920
I prefer Andy, but what is it?
544
00:24:37,920 --> 00:24:39,840
No. That's my middle name -
545
00:24:39,840 --> 00:24:42,080
Andrew.
546
00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:43,600
I was named after my uncle.
547
00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:46,960
Oh.
548
00:24:46,960 --> 00:24:49,080
Do you think you can remember that?
549
00:24:49,080 --> 00:24:52,080
Yeah... I'll give it a go.
550
00:24:52,080 --> 00:24:54,320
You still have my drawing,
by the way.
551
00:24:54,320 --> 00:24:56,480
No, um...
552
00:24:56,480 --> 00:24:58,560
I gave that back to you
at the club, remember?
553
00:24:58,560 --> 00:25:00,560
No, you didn't.
554
00:25:00,560 --> 00:25:01,880
You gave me this.
555
00:25:10,560 --> 00:25:12,720
Then this must be yours,
556
00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:14,520
you little pervert. Thank you.
557
00:25:17,640 --> 00:25:19,680
Were you really going to... No.
558
00:25:19,680 --> 00:25:21,520
No.
559
00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:22,880
I was just messing around.
560
00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:27,560
You'll find someone else, you know.
Yeah?
561
00:25:30,560 --> 00:25:32,160
Is your teacher available?
562
00:25:33,560 --> 00:25:35,400
I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
563
00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:36,960
Thank you for picking me up.
564
00:25:36,960 --> 00:25:38,600
You're very welcome. Here.
565
00:25:38,600 --> 00:25:39,800
That's all right.
566
00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:42,920
That's yours, you can keep that.
You've earned it. I know, but...
567
00:25:42,920 --> 00:25:44,520
if you're going to pick me up again,
568
00:25:44,520 --> 00:25:47,120
you're going to need to pay for
someone to clean up your car.
569
00:25:53,560 --> 00:25:56,280
You're not going to get your
car cleaned, are you? No.
570
00:25:59,320 --> 00:26:00,760
Mind the cracks.
42575
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof