All language subtitles for Queer.Eye.S08E01.NF.WEB.h264-EDITH.en[cc]

[country music playing]

Aw. There's an alligator
just walking around.

This does not look like America.

Girl, this feels like America
absolutely to me.

♪ Hey, yeah ♪

♪ All right ♪

♪ Mmm, mmm, ah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ All right, whoo! ♪

♪ Oh, things just keep getting better ♪

♪ Come on ♪

♪ Ooh, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Things just keep getting better ♪

♪ Down in New Orleans ♪

[accordion music
in Louisiana Creole playing]

-[Karamo] Wanna know who we're helping?
-[guys] Yeah!

Okay. His name is Ernest Bartholomew.

Welcome to New Orleans. Enjoy yourself.

[Karamo] "He is a proud Creole
who grew up deep in the Louisiana bayou."

-The intonation, Karamo.
-The bayou.

-Shiver me timbers on that "deep."
-[laughs]

Growing up in the country, man,
I think that's the place to grow up.

You know, my dad,
such a special person, such a character,

and my mom puts up with him.

Yeah, fantastic.

"He's 68 years old and is about
to celebrate his 39th wedding anniversary

with his wife, Miranda!"

How sweet!

Miranda, look,
she's a wonderful woman, you know?

Real good. Beautiful.

Ernest has the biggest heart
you will ever, ever encounter.

[Ernest] Miranda grew up in the city.

You know, I didn't want to marry
anybody down there from the country

because it's a close relationship,
might be my cousin.

-That is Ernest.
-[chuckles]

"Ernest and Miranda's two daughters
have left the nest,

and the distance
in their marriage has grown."

-No!
-That's common, though.

[Miranda] The girls moved out of state,

and that's when
we started having separate lives.

Cooking, you know,
doing my butterfly garden.

He has his garage.

If you want to spend time with me,
I'm outside messing around in my man cave.

Ernest is tinkering on his car
all the time.

My dad's always in his man cave
watching the game,

and my mom is always in the kitchen
watching cooking shows.

It's easy to burn rubber.
You just give it gas and pop the clutch.

I'm very convinced
he could live out there

if... if we would let him.

A lot of times, couples with kids,
the kids become their everything,

and when the kids leave,
they're like, "Oh, wait."

"We forgot we have
nothing in common anymore."

[Ernest] Miranda don't like
to do the things I like to do,

go in the boat and fishin', you know.

She said, "They don't have no bathroom."
I say, "Well, we got a bucket." [laughs]

Riding the bicycle, enjoying the music.

Yes. Country mouse
and the city girl, you know?

We are very, very different.

"Miranda loves trying new cuisines,
but Ernest is not interested."

[country music playing]

Before we got married,
we would go out to eat,

but now Ernest would much prefer
to eat wild game.

The stuff that I like to cook
is nutria, muskrat, raccoon.

I won't clean it, nor will I eat it.

It tastes delicious.

"Their daughter Ariel is nominating
her dad before it's too late."

Too late for what? That's ominous!

♪ Bah, bah, bum! ♪

[Ariel] My dad is very practical.

You know, he's like, "I'll make sure
she has gas in her car."

You know, "If she needs me
to pick up anything, I'll go and get it."

We see the love.

We just wanna see the love
how my mom wants to be loved.

Miranda wants me to dress up,
look real nice and stuff.

Yeah, I'm country, man.

She married me, you know.
Like, it was good, so this is me.

[Karamo] "As much as Miranda loves Ernest,

she misses her cool man
who has now turned into a caveman."

[Miranda] On a scale of one to 100,

I love the rubber-banded beard

zero.

I think it's unique.
You know, like, I'm one of a kind.

"With Ernest and Miranda's
39th anniversary at the end of the week,

Ariel is determined
to help her dad get out of this rut

and make this a special day for her mom."

Cute.

I would love to see them
meet somewhere in the middle.

They love each other so much.
Like, he can do it, you know.

I just don't think he knows how.

"Our mission this week

is to see if this country mouse
can charm his spouse."

"Meeting halfway is more fun
than going the road alone."

-Yeah!
-Yeah!

-I'm glad we're together.
-Amen!

[upbeat music playing]

-[Tan] All right, let's do this!
-[Antoni] All right, let's go!

Honey, we're home!

[Bobby] Ooh, look at that car!

-[Jonathan] Cute.
-[Tan] The house is really cute.

[laughing]

[Antoni] Where is he?

-[Karamo] Ernest?
-[Antoni] Oh!

Is it Doctor Ernest,
'cause I see you in scrubs?

-Yeah, I'm... I'm a masseuse.
-[Karamo] Ah!

How you doing? Karamo. Nice to meet you.

-Nice to meet you.
-[Ernest] Yes, sir.

Okay, Ernest is cute.

A little scruffy, a little dirty,
but he's cute.

Oh, fantastic.

Is this car your actual car?

I bought in 1986 for $1,500
from Voodoo Mike.

-Oh.
-Come. Come see.

[Tan] She's really pretty.

Look at these interiors, honey.

Wait, let me get this.

Oh my God.

Let's do a photo shoot!

Check out that pistol grip shifter.

What's that mean?

Four speed. Yes!

Oh, I'm out.
I don't know how to do stick shift.

-This is gorgeous.
-Yeah, fantastic.

I just clocked a massive TV,
so you don't just fix things in here.

-Like, you fully hang out in here.
-Yeah.

You and Miranda
should have drive-in movie date night.

[Jonathan] Oh my God! That's cute!

Man, fantastic.

You have pictures
of your family everywhere.

-[Ernest] Yes.
-[Jonathan] They're so cute.

[Bobby] Beautiful.

[Ernest] Dominique and Ariel, yeah.

I got two girls, okay?

Dominique was born, firstborn.

Miranda showed her how to go shopping.

Second born, Ariel?

I go... I go fishing and hunting,
Ariel will come with me.

[Karamo] I see you have
a lot of photos of your daughters.

-Is there a photo Miranda up here?
-[Ernest] No.

[Tan] Ooh.

-[Karamo] Just was checkin'. Okay.
-[Antoni] Why?

I go through
all the boxes of trash, you know, like...

Don't keep digging this hole, Ernest.

It's okay.

Look, let me tell you... Let me tell you
about how I met Miranda.

Now, you see, when I was
in high school in the late '60s,

I was working part-time at Sears
in the back pricin' tools.

-She workin' in the candy department.
-Aw.

And she go in the refrigerator
to get the candy, close the door,

hugging and kissing, you know?

-She got...
-[laughs]

Fantastic, man.

Oh, we all know Ernest's favorite word.

Fantastic.

I notice that there's a lot
of food things here.

I see a bit of organic honey,
some Louisiana hot sauce.

I like to cook.

-In... in fact, I just cooked some raccoon.
-Raccoon. Okay.

Raccoon?

Girl, please!

I wanna see the grilled raccoon.
Let's see it. I want raccoon gloves.

And it's smothered down
with wild onion, garlic, and hot pepper.

Do you remember having raccoon growing up?

-Oh yeah.
-Who made it for you?

My mama. [speaks Creole]

Why don't you give him some?
Let him try some.

[Ernest] It's real tough.

So it's kind of like a wet jerky.

Antoni, don't do it.

[Antoni] Can I have
some more peppers, please?

There we go.

Don't do it! Don't do it!
Don't do it! Don't do it!

[Jonathan] Juicy, tender.

Ah!

Not only are raccoons absolutely adorable,

they're the only animal other than humans
that can do this with their hands.

And I just ate one.

Oh, I'm so sorry. I've been so greedy.
Do you guys want a helping?

-I just ate.
-Oh, I couldn't. I'm so full.

Stop putting everything in your mouth!
[gags]

This is my washroom, man.

[Karamo] Where you wash the scrubs.

[Antoni] This Nancy Meyers kitchen

is stark contrast
to your living situation in the garage.

-I really hope I get to meet Miranda.
-[Karamo] This Miranda?

[Ernest] Yeah,
that's Miranda and Dominique.

[Antoni] I love how you have
so many photos of everybody.

[Ernest] Miranda put it all up there.

Yes and yes and yes and yes.

This is a bedroom or an office?

-[Ernest] I use it to study.
-[Bobby] Okay.

[Ernest] But that was
Dominique and Ariel's room.

[Jonathan] Oh my God.

[Bobby] Where is
your and Miranda's bedroom?

-In the front.
-Okay. Let's check that out.

Lead the way.

Where does the magic happen?

-[Antoni] Tanny, look.
-[Tan gasps] I love those.

-[Bobby] Oh! She likes some shoes.
-Whoa.

She loves a shoe.

Okay, I'm not mad at a bomber jacket.

That's not bad at all.

These are in.

[Karamo] Did you see the blue tape?

-[Antoni] Oh.
-Oh, that's...

Vintage.

-[Bobby grunts]
-Did it work? Did you get it?

-Be careful.
-He's pretty light.

[Bobby] Wait! I'm gonna fall!

-Oh God!
-[laughs]

Are you a doctor, nurse,
or do you work in a hospital?

No. It's comfortable.

You can't find anything
that you like more that's comfortable?

-Whatever.
-I wanna help.

I'll help. Okay, tell me
what Miranda thinks of what you wear.

She likes me to dress up, well-groomed.

-Okay.
-[Ernest] I'm comfortable like this.

-You know, it don't matter to me.
-[Tan] No.

-[Ernest] Yeah.
-No.

Sometimes you have to consider
the other person in a marriage.

We'll figure out
the Miranda component later.

So, first off,
how is this less comfortable than that?

-That's very comfortable.
-Why are you in that and not this?

I'm in the man cave,
"Oh, there it is." I put it on.

Okay. When you're not in the man cave,
what are you wearing?

-Probably jeans because I got...
-Show me.

Nothing here.
Yeah, this is pretty much dress clothes.

The rest of your clothes are?

This closet is only for formal wear.

The rest of the clothes are where?

-So...
-[Ernest] Socks.

-[Tan] Socks.
-As you can see.

T-shirts.

I've lived almost 40 years.

I've never seen someone use
a filing cabinet as a set of drawers.

This is mostly
your actual day-to-day wear in here.

Right. Now, you see, the...

The waist was too big,
so I put a cable tie on it, you know,

instead of a belt.

A cable tie works pretty good,
so I zip tie it.

No.

-No. No one's gonna take you seriously.
-[laughs]

[Tan] This is all underwear?

You keep your underwear clean?
No holes? That's not...

It's practically a thong!

That's a really loose thong.

-This can never happen again.
-Right.

Miranda's not interested in this.

No, ma'am.

And then talk to me about suspenders.

You know,
I wear suspenders because it's functional

and because I like to be unique.

So you do care about what people think!

-Pretty much, yeah.
-And yet you're still in scrubs.

-[Ernest] Right.
-We'll figure it out.

All right. Good deal.

Ooh, someone's got expensive taste.

[Bobby] Speaking of pictures...

-[Jonathan] Ooh, Let me see.
-There's Miranda.

[Jonathan] I love her Farrah Fawcett hair.

Oh my God!
That's a picture of them on their wedding.

-[Karamo] There we go.
-[Jonathan] Such young and crazy kids.

[Karamo] They're beautiful.

I'm gonna hold onto this photo.

[Bobby] Some chipping paint
in the living room.

[upbeat music playing]

Huh.

[Bobby] One of the things
that I noticed about the home

is it feels
like they've kind of given up on it.

Just like their relationship,
they've let the home grow stale.

Oh. Okay. Okay.

[Antoni] Oh, this is beautiful.

-Is this your garden or Miranda's garden?
-[Ernest] It's our garden.

-[Antoni] Both of you together.
-[Ernest] Yeah.

My gosh, look at that monarch.

[Ernest] Usually, they got about three
or five flying around all the time.

[Antoni] Other than the garden,

is there anything else you do together
that's special, just for the two of you?

No. You know, like,
it needs to start to build back up.

-Yeah.
-You know, build that relationship up.

Add the proverbial and the literal spice,
if you will.

Yeah, sounds good. [chuckles]

This is called a hammer.

This is called a screwdriver.

When you need to level something,
you pull this out,

and it tells you if it's level or not.

You're welcome.

-[Antoni] These are snap beans.
-[Ernest] Yes. They're good.

Really good.
They have a nice sweetness.

Ooh, those look like
hotter peppers, right?

[Ernest] Yeah. Miranda likes spicy food.

[Antoni] What's
her favorite type of protein?

Fish.

Wouldn't it be nice to make something
for her and blow her socks off?

Yeah. Yeah. Fantastic.

You failed the last time we did this.
Can you do it?

-I can, but not with this pressure.
-Okay, go.

No. No.

-No!
-It's just falling down your body.

[sobs]

Don't fail again. Get it. No.

Hold on. Hold on.

-Better!
-[Bobby] She got better!

[cheering]

-Yeah! Yay, Jackie!
-[Jonathan] Yes! Yes!

Get out of my face. You saw it!

[Karamo] You know how to twerk?

Oh! Oh!

Yeah! [chuckles]

-I can tell you're a good time.
-If you say it's good.

I don't know.

[Karamo] You might have to teach me.
I don't know nothing about cars.

This is fantastic
because when I'm driving by myself,

you know, like, about ten cars that pass
gonna honk their horn

or you know, give me a thing, you know?

When you're driving your car,
do you ever wish Miranda was next to you?

Yes, but she says it's too loud.

When you're here in the garage,
she doesn't like to come out here.

No. We don't do a lot of things together
because we've been married 39 years.

You know, like,
and it started out good, you know,

but now it's on... you know.

I guess it's just life.

Do you think Miranda
is happy in your marriage?

I would say no.

-How does that make you feel?
-It makes me feel down.

Do you feel like it's your fault?

Well, I think it's a combination.

It's a com... It's not all on me.

It's not all on her.

I want us to get back together,
but, you know, like, whatever, you know?

When we start to say the "whatever,"
that's sort of a defense mechanism.

[sighs]

-I can tell you do love your wife.
-Yeah.

It's okay to say, "I want my relationship
to be strong with my wife."

I want my relationship
to be strong with my wife.

Yes, I do. I truly do.

-Well, then, brother, I can help you.
-[Ernest] Yes, sir.

Appreciate it, man.

[upbeat music playing]

-[Karamo] Baby?
-[Jonathan] I hear someone.

I have someone.

Get on in this gorgeous bathroom, honey.

Have fun, Ernest.

[Jonathan] So, tell me, Ernest.
You wake up topless,

and then what happens?

-[Ernest] Do it like this.
-Oh shit.

[gasps]

A bubble pony on a beard?

This straight man has style.

Let's take it up a notch.

I've had it, seeing this unbraided beard.

-Was it a pandemic beard?
-[Ernest] Right.

You braiding it?

How's Miranda gonna be able
to turn you down with this braid?

I hope she don't.

My job here is done.

Take your hat off, please.

Still kind of bushy, though, you know?

Ernest is giving skullet, which is
a skull, no hair, with mullet in the back.

-Ever had extensions in your mullet?
-No.

I'm gonna do waist-length extensions.
You can be a straight man's Cher.

We could try it out.

[Jonathan] And while he's
a really gorgeous man,

there's a lot of look going on here,

and I know that, between Tan and I,
we can preserve a unique style

without having, like,
a full beard-skullet-mullet.

When's the last time you got up and said,
"Ernest, you're looking good today"?

[laughs]

-This makes me sad.
-That's definitely a joint.

[Bobby] Oh, is that the head? No.

Your daddy had us try raccoon.

-You're joking.
-I couldn't.

Aren't you remotely curious?

No, I'm not. They're like little pets.

-[Ariel] Hey.
-Ariel and Miranda.

-Very nice to meet you.
-It's so nice to meet you.

-Bobby.
-Nice to meet you.

-Very nice...
-Fellow food lover.

Oh yes. Thank you.

-How do you feel about the raccoon?
-I'm not that hungry.

"I'm not that hungry."

[laughs]

[Antoni] So you're gonna show us
the butterflies?

I have been raising monarchs
for over 25 years.

-So...
-[Antoni] Whoa!

[Karamo] So with all the things
that you do with the butterflies,

are there things you wish
you and Ernest did together?

-'Cause you're a young, vibrant woman.
-Yeah!

We used to have date nights. You know...

-[Karamo] What kind of date nights?
-Um, just dinner.

Like, for our anniversary,
Ernest had a big splash of a date for us.

-Where did he take you?
-Burger King!

-We went to Burger King!
-Oh, wow!

[Miranda] Yes, we...

[Antoni] Were you in shock?

-No.
-[laughs]

Uncle Karamo gonna let you know,
fail, fail, fail.

Fast-food restaurants
are not anniversary dates.

What do you hope will be different
about your father or the situation?

I think there's sometimes
a miscommunication

between, like, what my mom needs
and, like, what he can give her, um,

so I just hope, like, at the end,

it could be, like, a reset
for their, like, relationship.

And the outside
just needs a little bit of work.

-[Tan] What are you talking about?
-Now he's no longer performing surgeries.

-Yes.
-Let's get going.

-Do I have to get my suitcase?
-No. No. You just coming with us.

-Bye!
-Bye!

[Ariel] Bye, Dad!

They have their hands completely full.

[Ernest] Oh, man, this is amazing.

[upbeat music playing]

I'm ready to figure out how we
can help Ernest show up in his marriage

the way he shows up for his car,

which is consistent, very lovingly,

and with so much interest.

If Ernest wants
to really woo Miranda after 39 years,

he needs a little bit of refinement.

He's a gentleman.

I want him to look like a gentleman.

This is an opportunity for him
to step out of his comfort zone a little

and show up for his wife, Miranda,

to think about the things
that make her excited.

[Karamo] They spent their time
raising their daughters,

and that was beautiful,

but now the girls are grown
and out the house,

and it's time for them to reconnect
and to get on the same page.

Their bedroom, it's the farthest point
on the property from the garage.

They have this great-sized home
that used to be filled with two kids,

but now it's just the two of them,

so I'm gonna move some things around.

♪ My heart is so pumping ♪

♪ Pumping harder than ever before ♪

[Antoni] I love these trams
that you have in the city.

So there are green ones
and red ones, right?

[Ernest] Yeah.

In the kitchen?

In the kitchen!

-We're gonna make a nice meal for Miranda.
-Okay. Okay.

-By we, I mean you.
-Yeah, all right.

-[Antoni] I'm gonna teach you.
-Our anniversary is Saturday.

-Yes!
-Thirty-nine years.

Thirty-nine years!

[Ernest] Fantastic, man.

For something like an anniversary,
it's, like, the pinnacle of romanticism.

If there's one thing you need to know
about me, I'm a hopeless romantic,

and nothing makes me
more excited than romance.

So I want you to lean into that.

But Miranda is more communicative.
See, I'm bad in English, man.

You know, I just communicate
to just satisfy people, you know?

Like, I do whatever I can.

We all communicate in different ways.

-Yeah. [chuckles]
-[Antoni] Yeah.

-We're gonna figure it out.
-Yeah, okay.

You're gonna make
the perfect meal for Miranda.

When she's tasting the food,

she's gonna know you were thinking
about her when you were making it.

-Isn't that romantic?
-Yeah.

-[Antoni] Are you down?
-Yes.

[Antoni] Let's get started.

We literally picked these
from your garden. These are yours.

I'm gonna actually
put you to work right away.

-Want me to clean 'em?
-[Antoni] You know.

So we call this blanching,
when we throw the vegetable into the water

so that it softens a little.

-We're gonna take these...
-Shoop!

Shoop!

-So we're just gonna mix 'em around.
-[Ernest] Yes.

Soften them up for about a minute or so.

So Ernest definitely isn't a picky eater.

I mean,
the man enjoys raccoon voluntarily.

It's more about having him
lean into things

that aren't just dishes that he likes.

It's an opportunity
to think about his wife.

Put 'em in the ice bath.

-So that it stops it from cooking.
-[Ernest] Yeah.

Look how they're still
really nice and beautiful and bright.

-[Ernest] I never knew that.
-I got beautiful king salmon.

It's really nice and lean
with the skin on.

I know you're more accustomed
to grilling,

but I'm gonna teach you
how to make it on a pan

so the skin can be nice and crispy.
Are you down with that?

-Yes.
-I'm actually gonna bring this over here.

So olive oil in one pan
and then sesame oil for the snap beans.

So these are gonna heat up pretty quickly.

I'm gonna season the salmon very simply.

-Just a little bit of salt.
-Okay.

[Antoni] First thing I'm gonna put in
is our onions.

We're gonna grab our peppers,
just for a little bit of sweetness.

So I'm gonna ask you
to mix those around a little.

Get you a towel
in case you need to use it.

Yes, sir.

So I'm gonna go ahead
and put these skin-side down.

Pan needs to be nice and hot.

If you put that fish on a cold pan,
the skin is gonna stick to it,

and it's gonna fall apart.

And then I'm gonna put in a bit of garlic
and a bit of ginger.

[vocalizing]

[Antoni] Now we can
mix everything together.

Perfect.

We can go ahead and put our soy in there,
our tamari soy.

[Ernest] All of it?

Yep. This is gonna be our salt component.

I know that you have dishes that you make

that are, like, very you
and where you come from.

I just wanna make it clear,
I don't want to change any of that,

but I think romance is, like,

if I'm making food
and I'm thinking about my partner...

Yeah.

...and what he wants to have,
that's what makes it special.

That's what I want Miranda to feel
when you're cooking for her.

Oh yeah.

You're gonna take this brush,
and we're just gonna lightly glaze it

with this cumin, agave,
and tamarind glaze.

[Ernest] Fantastic.

[Antoni] This is gonna caramelize
and add a sweetness to it.

Our last step here,
we have our herb situation.

Know how to squeeze a lemon
so the seeds stay in?

The seeds,
it don't make no difference to me.

-I chew on them.
-Maybe it makes a difference to Miranda.

I'm gonna squeeze it like this,
then the juice comes out,

but the seeds, in theory, should stay in.

Let's start out with a bit of beans.

And then, salmon right on top.

Put a little bit
of these herbs on top here.

Put some herbs on yours.

You're just dumping 'em on.

So we have our plates.

Hey, you got skin.

You can have some. Here, take it.

-My dad'll eat any skin.
-Same here.

-Very good.
-What's better than crunchy salmon skin?

Come with me.

Hopefully I set up Ernest for success
so that no mistakes are made

and so that he's ready
to blow Miranda's pants off.

Not literally... but maybe.

-How are the beans?
-Fresh.

My favorite part is the salmon.

So now your favorite fish
is also Miranda's favorite fish?

No.

I'll eat it, like, 'cause it's good,
but that's not my favorite fish. You know?

Is this something you think
you'll be able to make?

Oh yeah.

-I want you in that kitchen.
-Oh man, yeah.

I want you sautéing the beans,
patting dry the salmon,

and she's, like,
"That's my husband of 39 years!"

She'll get a big kick out of that.

Tell me about the setting.

You know, like, I could set up...

-I got a piece of plywood.
-Yep.

You know, put it on two buckets,
that's a table.

Maybe a white tablecloth over that
just to make it a little more elegant.

-Right.
-Where are you gonna enjoy this?

Somewhere in between.

Her kitchen is her place,
my man cave is my place,

so it'd be in the middle,
for both of us.

What do we call that?

Compromise!

-That's a good word.
-I love that.

Fantastic.

♪ Friend, don't come on a Saturday night ♪

♪ Looking for a place to go ♪

♪ Huh, fun, fun, fun
Till the morning light ♪

It's obvious
that Miranda loves family photos,

so I wanna do
this really cool gallery wall.

Thirty-nine photos for 39 years.

♪ And ooh ♪

♪ She was standing right in front of me... ♪

Thank you for joining me today.
You have no idea what we are doing.

[Miranda] No, we don't,
but thank you for having us.

[Karamo] What do you think
your lady would like?

-I have no idea.
-39 years, you gotta have a little idea.

It breaks my heart to hear
that Ernest knows his wife is unhappy,

but he doesn't know what to do about it.

-[Ernest] Look what I got for you.
-Well, thank you.

Ariel, she said that she doesn't like
where your relationship is right now.

Yeah.

When we talked, I asked Ernest,
does he think you're happy?

-And he said, "No."
-Right.

[Karamo] Are you happy in your marriage?

[emotional music playing]

I don't feel seen or heard.

Why don't you feel seen?

Because I have made an effort

to get you to see the importance
that I give to things.

And when that stopped working,

then I gave up on trying to appeal to you

to see how it made me feel.

Right.

But, you see, like, for me, you know,

like 90% of the things you ask me to do,
I always do.

-[Miranda] You're ver...
-I'll take care of it.

That's true. You're very task-oriented.

Yes.

Somehow, in relationships, we always get
to this place where we think doing this...

[scoffs]

...is better than actually leaning in.

Yeah.

When you give up trying,
you're giving up the relationship.

And I don't think you wanna
give up that relationship.

No. I don't.

Well, what's... what's... what's the key?

What's the answer?

You ever heard
of the five love languages?

So the five ways that we need
to feel loved in our relationships.

So, for instance,
there's words of affirmation.

So some people like to wake up
and be like, "Girl, you fine."

There's also quality time,

receiving gifts,

physical touch,

and then there's acts of service.
"You need that done? I'll do it for you."

Is acts of service
the way you need to be loved?

That's not it.

[Karamo] So this entire time,

you think, by doing this chore,

that you're showing her,
"Look, I'm still here, baby. I'm trying."

-Acts of service are great, Ernest.
-Yes.

[Karamo] But Miranda is saying
she needs something else.

Right.

And what do you need?

Quality time and a lot of touch.

Do you feel
like you get quality time and touch?

Uh, you know, recently,
no, it wasn't like that.

Used to be.

What do you need?

I need quality time.

I do need touch and affirmation.

-Words.
-Well...

I know the communication is difficult.

The words, I'm not good with words.

I just need you
to let me know that you need me,

because your independence
is sometimes very lonely.

And I do feel alone in our marriage.

[sighs]

[crying] You know, she's special to me.

And I know, for sure,
I could get it back together.

I know, 'cause we special.

Can you say to your wife, "I need you?"

I need you.

I need you too.

Now, on the flip side,
because a relationship is two,

he said he needs
more quality time and touch.

And you both said that.

When was the last time you all held hands?

-When I was in the hospital?
-I didn't even know you remembered that.

-So this is where the actions come in.
-Right.

-So I think holding hands is a nice start.
-Yeah.

[chuckles]

-You did it on the sly.
-[Ernest chuckles]

Let me see them holding hands.

Oh! You sly with it!

I see the player in you now
and why you got such a pretty lady.

[Ernest] Oh man.

-Yeah.
-I do see it.

This is something that's simple,
that even in your busy schedule,

if you can say, "I need you,"

and if you can also stop
and just hold hands for two minutes,

it's gonna be the first steps

into you communicating the same way
in your love languages,

because what's going on right now

is not two people
who really don't wanna be in this.

It's two people
who just forgot how to be in this.

Yes.

[Karamo] Ernest is so willing.

You can see that he loves his wife
and he wants to change,

and that's the first step
in reconnecting with someone you love,

that desire to be better.

We were going through a box in your house,

and I saw this.

[laughing]

[Karamo] Do you remember that?

[Miranda] I do remember it, yes.

But I want you to look at that.

[Miranda] Mm-hmm.

[Karamo] Look how close those two were.

Those two people
knew they needed each other.

Yeah, man, that's fantastic.

I remember these people.

[Karamo] They're not gone.

[upbeat music playing]

[yodeling]

[Tan] Have you been to Rubensteins before?

Yeah. I think twice in my lifetime.

-After you.
-Thank you, sir.

-When was the last time you came shopping?
-I couldn't remember.

I think about 30 years.

Like, 30 years
since you went into a store?

Yes, 'cause my wife,
she would get anything for me.

The end of this week,
it's your anniversary.

You're putting together
something beautiful, right, Ernest?

What do you think she wants?

What she would like
is nice clothes for me to wear

and go out with her, hang out with her.

Have you ever considered blowing her mind?

Not really.

-You've had 39 years to do that.
-[chuckles]

-You see where I'm going?
-Yeah. Yeah.

Why have you not?
Be honest. I just wanna know.

Because it's not in me.
You know, like, I'm more of a casual guy.

-You have a wonderful woman.
-[Ernest] Yeah, fantastic.

Who has stuck with you for a long time,
because you're clearly a wonderful man.

However, I think she's just thinking,

"After all this time,
I want my husband to be my husband."

-[Ernest] Right.
-"Not the garage's husband."

-Right, truly.
-Truly, like, real talk.

I've been letting her down.
Really, I have.

[Tan] So I wanna do something for you

where it makes it really clear
to your wife you care.

I know you don't wear
a lot of formal clothes.

-You don't need to in the garage.
-Right.

But, like, for a formal situation,
like a wedding reception.

-Or an anniversary?
-[Ernest] Yeah.

-[Tan] Maybe you need something for that.
-Yeah.

[Tan] So anytime you wanna go for a suit,
but you don't wanna feel super fancy,

I would suggest something deconstructed.
That means it hasn't got a lining.

It's a little looser,
and so you don't feel so restricted.

If you've got, let's say, for example,
a T-shirt and a pair of jeans on,

and she wants to go out for dinner,

just throw on a jacket,
and you're good to go.

-You don't have to make a major effort.
-That'd definitely work.

-[Ernest] Can I see these ones on, please?
-[Ernest] Yes.

Love those. Leave them just here.
We'll pick them up later.

You did say that you like your suspenders
'cause it's your thing.

[Ernest] Yeah. I don't see a lot of people
that wears them.

I love these versions.
I love that you wanna be unique,

that you're considering
how you present yourself.

What I don't wanna see again is zip ties.

Zip ties started
before the suspenders.

I'm sure they did,
and they needed to die a long time ago.

[laughs]

Don't wanna see zip ties
on your pants ever again.

-Are you ready to try on?
-[Ernest] Yes.

Whoo-hoo! All right, come on out.

If you can just park yourself
right here for me.

Bam, bam, bam.

Mmm, mmm, mmm. Now,

does that feel
a little bit more Ernest for you?

Yes.

It's fantastic, man.

[Tan laughs]

I love it.

[Tan] You're just gonna walk around town
snapping those, are you?

I love that he loves it.

He clearly is feeling himself.

I wouldn't be mad at this at all

if you ended up wearing this
on a date with the lovely Miranda.

However, you could start the date
looking extra swaggy.

Fantastic.

Tell me what makes it work for you.

Well, it fits good,
and the material feels well.

Real comfortable.

[Tan] When was the last time
you saw yourself looking wonderful?

Very long time.

Is it nice seeing yourself this way again?

Yes.

What's the point of wasting it on scrubs
when you can look as good as this?

-Ready to try something else?
-[Ernest] Yes.

Ooh, I already love.

Fantastic.

Are you just being nice to me?

-No.
-Last one, you said fantastic too.

[Ernest] Well, this is more fantastic
than the other one, I think.

-Tell me what you like about it.
-Well, it's camouflage.

-Like I'm a hunter.
-[Tan] I know.

This is more comfortable
and looks like it's more simple.

You know, like, 'cause I'm simple.

Could you actually see yourself
wearing things like this

for hangouts with Miranda?

Yes, and, you know,
I just know I'll blow her mind,

'cause, you know, like,
it's... it's... it's blowing my mind,

you know, like... Man.

I... Oh.

Everybody that knows me
is going, "Ernest?"

-Yes.
-[laughs]

[Ernest] And I know it. Yeah, man!

[Tan laughs]

Well, wait. I want you to try on
the glasses that I pulled for you earlier.

I mean, Ernest, you look so darn good.

Hopefully, you'll look
at your closet and think,

"I wanna get dressed up.
I wanna make an effort for my wife."

For sure. She deserves it.

-[Tan] She deserves it.
-She does.

-Can I give you a hug, Ernest?
-Sure, you can, man.

Because I'm really, really happy.

-And you're made me really, really proud.
-[Ernest] Yeah.

The way you keep raising your eyebrows
at yourself in the mirror is amazing.

[laughs]

Watch out. Watch out.

[swanky music playing]

[Jonathan] Okay, we're here.

Gorgeous Bluenote Barbershop.

Go ahead, gorgeous.

This is Invee.

-How you doing, sir?
-[Jonathan] We love Invee so much.

He's the best.

-Ernest, can I take your hat off?
-Sure.

He actually has
what we lovingly call a skullet.

I don't know if it's because
I was your mom in a past life,

I just think it's, like, so adorable,
this little curly hair right here,

but his wife doesn't like it!

Today is a story of, like, compromise

and making sure that Miranda, your wife,

still wants to hold your hand.

[Ernest] Oh yeah.

With your shirts off,
in a very respectful way.

I don't think that's gonna make a diff...

-[Jonathan] It does!
-It does?

[Jonathan] It absolutely does.

[laughs]

-She said that she misses you.
-[Ernest] Yeah.

And you guys live together!

Yeah, but, you know, she's a cook,
watching the Cooking Channel.

I'm in my man cave, watching sports.

But what if you guys
just sat next to each other

for, like, one TV show a week?

Just as long as they don't have
any good sporting events on.

My husband watches
figure skating and gymnastics with me

even though he hates it.

He's obsessed with gardening,
and I was like, "Ugh, gardening."

-Like, "Kick me in the face."
-[laughs]

Turns out there's this TV show
called Gardeners' World

that I thought I hated,
but it's actually really cute,

so maybe there might be
a cooking personality you like.

But you'll never know if you don't try it.

-Right.
-Can I take your bubble pony out?

[Ernest] Yeah.

I love how you style your beard.

[Ernest] I got style, man.

[Jonathan] You got such good style.

You really do.

It might be unique,
but it's one of a kind.

[Jonathan] Here's the thing.

If Ernest had his skullet and his beard
because he loved them,

and that was his personal style...

I would clap it out.

So I think, like,
a nice little square thing on him

could be really nice.

But that's not how we've arrived here.

We've actually arrived at this style
due to neglect.

I'm gonna start by cutting his mullet off,
then we'll shape it.

It's coming off, Ernest.

Oh Lord.

♪ Don't it feel so good to be alive ♪

[Jonathan] Ooh.

Hello, jaw.

I do love your big-ass mustache.

Should we do
a little handlebar on him for fun?

Yeah, for sure.

[Jonathan] You are giving me
men's magazine,

Men's Fitness, Men's Health.

-What's your favorite thing about Miranda?
-[Ernest] She's just all around.

You know, like, her mind,
you know, like, the way she thinks.

Mm-hmm.

-What's your favorite physical thing?
-[Ernest] Miranda?

Her lips.

-[Jonathan] Ooh!
-[laughs]

Curveball!

-She does have a pretty smile.
-Yeah.

Because here's the thing.
Everyone wants to feel wanted and needed.

-Right.
-By their partner.

-[Ernest] Right.
-You included.

So that means that you both
have to celebrate your partner more.

-I will.
-[Jonathan] Yeah!

You'll be able
to show up for Miranda better.

-That makes sense, right?
-Yes.

Yes. Yes. Yes.

-This is a mustache wax that I like.
-[Ernest] Okay.

I just took a little teeny tiny bit.

Then you take your index finger,
set the hair on there,

and I just like, push the wax on my finger
to, like, bend it upwards.

And, my God, does he look gorgeous?

Have we done such a good job,
or have we done such a good job?

-Look at him!
-[Invee] Right?

You are so cute.

Do you know?

-[Ernest] Yeah.
-You do, right?

-'Cause you are...
-[Ernest] Gorgeous?

-You are...
-[Ernest] Gorgeous.

-You are...
-[Ernest] Gorgeous.

-Yes, you are! Ready to see your new look?
-[Ernest] Yes.

Ready? Three, two, one.

Oh! [chuckles]

Lord! Watch out!

[Jonathan] Right?

When we take this off...

-Yes, indeed.
-Oh my gosh!

Oh yeah, Miranda, you gonna be surprised.

Oh, I like this. Yes.

-[Jonathan] That gave me chills.
-That's unique. I like that.

♪ Oh, I got love running in my soul ♪

♪ I got your love running in my soul ♪

♪ I got love running in my soul ♪

♪Gonna make me smile ♪

♪ Oh, I got love running in my soul ♪

♪ I got your love running in my soul ♪

♪ I got love running in my soul ♪

♪ Gonna make me smile ♪

♪ Whoa, yeah ♪

-I'm excited for you to see the house.
-I sure hope I don't pass out, man.

[laughs]

-[horn honks]
-[Ernest laughs]

-[Bobby] Ooh! They're here!
-Let's go! Put the produce down.

[Tan] Whoo-hoo!

[Bobby] Hello!

Come on, you handsome man.
Good to see you, sir.

How are you?

-[Ernest] Great.
-Your beard looks so good!

-[Bobby] Ready to see your new place?
-Yes.

Oh Lord!

[laughing]

[Ernest] Man, look at...

[jazzy music playing]

Hot dog! [laughs]

[Bobby] So made this
much more comfortable.

We painted.

[Ernest] I told Miranda
I was gonna take care of it.

I'm glad I didn't.

[laughing]

[Bobby] And then...

[Ernest] Oh!

-[Jonathan] No more cracking paint, honey.
-[Bobby] Miranda's gonna be very happy.

Come and see your new bedroom.

Oh! Whoa!

Oh!

[jubilant music playing]

[Bobby] You might ask yourself,
"Wait, where's the bed?"

-[Ernest] Yeah.
-I gave this to Miranda.

-Yeah, she needs it. It's good.
-[Bobby laughs]

-How do you think Miranda's gonna feel?
-[Ernest] I don't think she'll faint.

But it'd come close to it.

-[Antoni] Bobby, this room is beautiful.
-[Jonathan] I'm so obsessed with this.

-[Bobby] All right, you ready to see more?
-Ooh! Wait.

-[Tan laughs]
-All right.

-[Karamo] He's ready.
-I'm ready now.

Oh man!

Oh man! [laughs]

[Bobby] This was your desk.
You had a great desk already.

I reused a lot of your furniture

'cause you had
a lot of really beautiful pieces.

Lord have mercy.

-[Bobby] You remember these?
-[Ernest] Oh man.

[mellow music playing]

Oh!

[Bobby] Every year, I want you
to take a selfie together

to show the memories you're still making.

Oh man! Y'all good.

[Bobby laughs]

-Thank you.
-Y'all outstanding, man.

[laughs]

-Oh man.
-[Karamo] Oh.

[Bobby] You deserve this.

You good? You're good.

[Ernest] Man!

Oh! Oh!

Ooh!

[upbeat music playing]

Oh boy! [chuckles]

-[Bobby] You're starting a new life.
-[Ernest] Right.

But I didn't want to get rid
of a lot of the memories you made, so...

-I kept this.
-[Ernest laughs]

[Bobby]
Look, it's the girls' height measurements.

I never told y'all to keep that, you know.
I'm so glad you did. [sighs]

Lord! Lord! Lord!

Man! [chuckles]

Fantastic.

Oh Lord! Lord! Lord!

[Bobby] I put the door there

so there is a connection
from your space together

into your spaces outside.

A door? [chuckles]

[Bobby] This home
has had a lot of memories.

And this room specifically.

This is where
your amazing daughters grew up.

But I wanted to put you guys back here

because I want this to be closer

to that place
you wanna hang out all the time.

-[Ernest] Outstanding.
-[Antoni] Ernest?

-[Ernest] Yeah?
-[Antoni] You can't handle what's next.

I'm ready.

Oh man!

[upbeat music playing]

Oh Lord! Lord!

Oh man!

-[Bobby] A whole new world.
-[Ernest] Yeah.

So I wanted to bridge the gap
between man cave garage and house,

so you guys have that space
where you can come in the middle.

Now y'all can have either dinner
just the two of you,

you can have the girls over,

you can have friends over.

-What do you think of it all?
-That's gonna blow Miranda's mind.

This is outstanding.

[Tan] What do you think?

Fantastic.

First off,
I actually really like your overalls.

On a casual day
when you just wanna hang out, wear 'em.

Oh yeah.

But remember this is about Miranda,
not just you.

Right.

So one day a week,
you are going to dress nicely.

[Ernest] For sure.

That means something from this closet.

-[Ernest] For sure.
-Not the garage.

For sure. [chuckles]

-All right, kids. Ready for this?
-[guys] Yeah!

[Tan] Okay, Ernest, sir,
will you please join us?

This is what he's gonna wear for his date.

-Yay, date!
-For his anniversary.

Yay, anniversary!

-[Tan] Sir, would you join me, please?
-Ernest!

[guys] Ah!

[laughing]

[Karamo] Wow.

Fantastic, man.

[Tan] He's 68!

So cute.

[Karamo] You look great!

I know. I feel great too.

You actually can make
a ton of money modeling.

Fantastic.

I didn't want just suspenders
that are functional.

I wanted ones that look lovely,
which is why we got leather suspenders.

-[Ernest] Yes.
-And the hat.

I love a little pork-pie hat,
but a summer version?

I can tell how much you love this outfit.

Just the way that you were
carrying your hands in your pockets.

It is so Ernest, and I love it.

-Gee, it's outstanding.
-[Antoni] Good, right?

-Outstanding. Yes.
-[Bobby] How do you think Miranda'll feel?

-It will definitely turn her on.
-Whoo!

-Okay.
-Yeah!

-Come on, kids.
-Yeah.

This is the time when we leave you
to enjoy your evening.

This is your anniversary tonight.

We need this to be your reset button,
and you've turned up for that.

-For sure.
-At the beginning of this week,

what were you hoping would happen?

That Miranda and I would hook together.

-Yeah.
-Contact, you know?

I mean, what y'all did for me?

Lord. Lord. Lord.

I really appreciate.

Appreciate it to the top, man. To the top.

-Bring it in here.
-[Ernest] Yes.

-[Jonathan] Tell the girls bye.
-[Ernest] I will.

We're gonna miss you.

Enjoy your anniversary.
I hope you have a wonderful time.

-I sure will.
-Yeah.

-Come on. Need a hand, Jackie?
-No, I got it.

-You feeling good?
-[Jonathan] Yeah.

[Tan] Have fun!

I sure will.

-Bye!
-Bye, Ernest!

[Bobby] Bye, supermodel.

[Jonathan] Have fun!

[Karamo] He's so cute!

[swanky music playing]

[Bobby] ♪ What you doing? ♪

Are you all hungry
for some raccoon skewers?

-I'm done. You said raccoon skewers?
-[Bobby and Karamo] Bye!

It's chicken, you Muppets.

[Karamo] Okay.

[Antoni] Hello.

-[Antoni] Can I wear the raccoon hat?
-[Karamo] Won't you mess up your hair?

-Are you gonna be Davy Crockett?
-So you know, this is vintage.

It's not new.

It's a little homage to Ernest.

-Hi!
-Hi!

-[Jonathan] Should we go watch Ernest?
-I already have beverages set up.

Let's go. Come on, Neon.

Aw.

-Who's ready for Ernest and Miranda?
-[Antoni] Yay!

-I am!
-[Jonathan] Their big anniversary!

Look at how cute his little mustache is!

-That man is good lookin'.
-[Jonathan] So cute.

-[Karamo] She looks beautiful. Both do!
-Oh, I love that dress.

Are you ready?

[Miranda] Hey! Yeah!

Are you sure?

[Miranda] Yes!

-Come on in.
-[Miranda] Hi.

Look at you!

Ah! Sookie-sookie now!

-[Miranda] Hot model.
-[Ariel] Oh my God!

[Ernest] They want me to model.

They say, "Ern, you can make some money."
I say, "What?"

You are a model, Ernest!

-You better own it, Tyson Beckford!
-[Tan] Wow.

Look at you!

Aw, you look so good.

Yes, affection!

Look at you.

The way she's looking at him,
I imagine that was her 40 years ago.

-Show us around, guy.
-Come and see.

What?!

[guys] Ah!

Yes, Miranda! Yes!

-[Jonathan] So cute!
-No!

Here comes a happy cry, I'm telling you.

[Miranda] Oh!

[Antoni] Bobby, this room is epic.

-[Bobby] Aw, I'm so glad she likes it.
-Oh my God.

You finally have room for your shoes, Mom.
Look, all these shoes.

She wasn't expecting anything for her.

Yeah.

[laughs]

[Miranda] Oh my, my, my.

Holy smokes.

I just don't have words.

And I usually have lots of words!

[upbeat music playing]

Look.

When we first started,
you know, as it goes on...

-It just chronicles the years. Right?
-[Ernest] Yeah.

Look. The empty spot, future.

Yeah.

[Antoni] I don't think I've ever wanted
to have a family more.

I want that. I wanna look at a wall,
look at the photos,

and see your entire life.

[Ariel] We're ready. Open it!

[Ernest chuckles]

Oh wow!

A door?

[Ernest laughs]

[laughs]

You seen your closets.

This is mine.

Ernest, you have clothes!

Are you gonna wear these?

For sure! For sure!

Oh.

[Karamo] Yes!

[Ernest] Ready?

-[Miranda] Yes.
-Set...

-[chuckles]
-Oh, guys!

Look. [chuckles]

Oh, guys!

The week of growth was for him,
but this is all for her.

Are you serious?

-Oh my goodness!
-And look.

[Antoni] The little butterflies!

They have a home now.

-Look at that one.
-[Ernest] Yeah, you love it.

[Miranda chuckles]

Aw.

[Ariel] This is all for you.

Oh, thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

[Ernest] Thanks a whole bunch, girl.

[Ariel] Yeah, no, enjoy it.

-I love you.
-[Ernest] I love you too, girl.

-Mmm.
-[Miranda] Absolutely beautiful.

I think we could spend
a lot of time out here.

Enjoy the rest of your night.

-We sure will.
-Thank you.

-[Ariel] I love you guys.
-Thank you.

We sure will.

[Tan] I hope my kids
are as sweet as Ariel one day.

-[Jonathan] So sweet!
-Yeah.

[Ernest] All right.

-Look at this.
-What are you cooking?

Okay, so this is a big moment

because, as we all know,
the kitchen is Miranda's turf.

[Ernest] For you?

[Miranda] Salmon!

-Yes!
-[Ernest] Fantastic.

[Bobby] Oh!

Hey, a departure in protein for him.

[Ernest] Oh yeah.

Shake and bake.

Good job.

-[Miranda] Oh, that's from the garden.
-[Ernest] Yes. Fantastic.

[Karamo] It seemed like a salmon dish
is pretty easy to cook.

It's a lot quicker than raccoon stew,
I'll tell you that.

-[Tan] He plated that up really nicely.
-He did.

[Miranda] Delicious. Thank you.

-[Ernest] I amaze myself.
-[chuckles]

He decided to compromise
and make something that Miranda likes.

-To us.
-To us.

You really look good.

You look like your old self.

-My old self?
-But new self.

-I'm back.
-New self.

-[Ernest] Yes.
-Glad to meet you, Mr. Bartholomew.

[Ernest] Good.

[Miranda chuckles]

[Ernest] I love you, girl.

It will change.

You wanna marry me?

-Marry you again?
-[Ernest] Yes.

[Miranda] Yes.

[Miranda chuckles]

Aw!

[Karamo] Look at that.

That's so lovely.

[romantic piano music playing]

[chuckles]

Ernest looks good, he feels good,

but he also finally understands
how Miranda needs him to show up for her.

You can find somebody
who lets you be who you are,

but, on the flip side,
figure out what makes them spark,

what they're passionate about,
what they love.

♪ We got a love ♪

♪ Can't be broken ever ♪

♪ So throw it away ♪

♪ We got a love... ♪

It doesn't matter
how long you've been married,

you still need to show up
for your partner.

Remind them of why they married you.

♪ So be a fool ♪

♪ Oh, I don't wanna lose you ♪

♪ I just want you every way ♪

♪ I know it's true ♪

-♪ You're so ♪
-♪ My arms are open ♪

♪ I'm begging you ♪

♪ Oh, I'm begging you ♪

♪ To come back and stay ♪

[quirky music playing]

[Karamo] Voodoo.

It's an often misunderstood practice.

The religion was brought to Louisiana
by enslaved West Africans

via the Caribbean Corridor.

It's a religion connected
to nature, ancestors, and spirit.

The core belief of New Orleans Voodoo

is that one god doesn't interfere
in our daily lives, but the spirits do.

Right, babies? [chuckles]

Hi, Antoni.

Antoni. Antoni. Antoni. Antoni.

[laughs]

["When the Saints Go Marching In" playing]

[Ernest] Fantastic!