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1
00:00:15,764 --> 00:00:19,983
Stop it!
Everyone's looking at me!
2
00:00:20,717 --> 00:00:23,025
You've got a right dirty laugh,
d'you know that?
3
00:00:23,459 --> 00:00:25,716
You sound like Barbara Windsor!
4
00:00:25,836 --> 00:00:28,501
It's the smoking.
I didn't know you smoked.
5
00:00:28,621 --> 00:00:31,612
Yeah, I do, but I'm gonna start
giving up when I'm 28
6
00:00:31,624 --> 00:00:33,991
and then definitely stop when I'm 30.
7
00:00:34,111 --> 00:00:37,213
Can you believe we're actually going
to meet tomorrow?
8
00:00:37,333 --> 00:00:39,536
Only 17 hours to go now, babes.
9
00:01:00,156 --> 00:01:03,042
- Hiya, Stacey.
- All right, Doris? How's the leg?
10
00:01:03,162 --> 00:01:06,686
- I wish they'd cut the bugger off.
- Oh, you don't mean that.
11
00:01:06,806 --> 00:01:09,968
Oh, yes, I do. You hand me the axe,
I'll do it myself.
12
00:01:10,088 --> 00:01:14,046
- You still going up London on your blind date?
- It's not really a blind date.
13
00:01:14,166 --> 00:01:17,632
We've been talking for six months.
Just haven't met, like.
14
00:01:17,752 --> 00:01:21,419
What time are you off? First thing.
Dave's Coaches. Cacking myself, I am.
15
00:01:21,539 --> 00:01:24,126
Stace, love, you've got to chill out.
16
00:01:24,246 --> 00:01:27,849
The thing to remember is don't go giving
him nothing on the first night.
17
00:01:27,969 --> 00:01:30,855
- Really?
- Well, no, not nothing.
18
00:01:30,975 --> 00:01:36,014
A kiss, a cuddle, a cheeky finger.
Just don't go selling him the whole farm.
19
00:01:36,134 --> 00:01:38,366
- Oh, thanks, Dor.
- See you, love.
20
00:01:42,379 --> 00:01:44,196
- Hiya, Mam.
- Hiya, luv.
21
00:01:44,316 --> 00:01:46,618
- Is that Doris out?
- Yeah.
22
00:01:46,738 --> 00:01:48,596
- How's her leg?
- Fine.
23
00:01:49,107 --> 00:01:52,324
- What's that top?
- TK Maxx. 5 quid, down from 10.
24
00:01:52,444 --> 00:01:57,285
- Can't go wrong. Fancy an omelette?
- Aye, go on, then. Nessa'll be here at six.
25
00:01:57,405 --> 00:01:59,442
- Will she want an omelette?
- I dunno.
26
00:02:02,472 --> 00:02:05,822
Hiya, it's me. Mam's doing an omelette
- d'you want one?
27
00:02:10,100 --> 00:02:11,170
Mmm...
28
00:02:15,620 --> 00:02:16,509
Yeah...
29
00:02:24,395 --> 00:02:27,328
OK...
She don't want one.
30
00:02:36,694 --> 00:02:37,924
Oh, come on!
31
00:02:38,738 --> 00:02:39,930
I DO know her!
32
00:02:40,998 --> 00:02:43,970
You can know someone
without meetin' 'em, y'know.
33
00:02:45,574 --> 00:02:47,485
Look, what's the big deal?
34
00:02:47,788 --> 00:02:50,571
She's bringing a mate,
I'm bringing you.
35
00:02:51,014 --> 00:02:52,093
No, I won't!
36
00:02:52,415 --> 00:02:55,992
'Cos I'm not ringing her, saying,
"Text a photo of your friend for Smithy.
37
00:02:56,112 --> 00:02:57,563
'He wants to see if she's a minger'.
38
00:02:58,787 --> 00:03:01,512
It's too late now, anyway...
All right.
39
00:03:02,394 --> 00:03:04,571
Hiya, Gav. All right, Mum?
40
00:03:04,691 --> 00:03:07,296
No, not really.
I'm absolutely shattered.
41
00:03:07,580 --> 00:03:10,325
- I've been crying all afternoon.
- How come?
42
00:03:11,456 --> 00:03:15,923
That Pet Rescue. There was this badger,
and all its litter died,
43
00:03:16,043 --> 00:03:19,065
and you could actually see
the mother badger crying.
44
00:03:19,185 --> 00:03:22,434
- I don't think badgers can cry, Mum.
- Nor did I, my little prince.
45
00:03:22,554 --> 00:03:25,444
But I know what I saw,
and it's knocked me for six.
46
00:03:25,841 --> 00:03:28,131
Still, life goes on.
47
00:03:29,016 --> 00:03:32,669
Your dad'll be home in a minute,
and those steaks won't cook themselves.
48
00:03:33,767 --> 00:03:37,023
And will you please make sure you stay
with Nessa at all times.
49
00:03:37,143 --> 00:03:38,496
Do not let her out of your sight.
50
00:03:38,616 --> 00:03:40,464
I don't know why you think
Nessa's any safer than me.
51
00:03:40,584 --> 00:03:43,020
She's a big girl...
Gets it from her father.
52
00:03:43,140 --> 00:03:46,201
If she's one iota of his aggression
inside her, you'll be OK.
53
00:03:46,321 --> 00:03:49,589
- We don't know anything about Gavin.
- He might be a paedophile.
54
00:03:49,709 --> 00:03:53,693
- He wouldn't be interested in me, would he?
- He might be grooming you.
55
00:03:53,813 --> 00:03:56,111
Your Uncle Bryn's coming around
with the rape alarm.
56
00:03:56,231 --> 00:03:59,827
- He tried for pepper spray,
but he haven't had no luck. - Oh, Mam!
57
00:04:02,151 --> 00:04:05,046
- All right?
- Hey, love. Where's your stuff?
58
00:04:06,159 --> 00:04:08,127
- What, that's it?
- I got my sling,
59
00:04:08,247 --> 00:04:10,949
a packet of feminine wipes and 60 Regal.
What more do I need?
60
00:04:11,069 --> 00:04:13,656
- What about your toothbrush?
- I got Tic Tacs.
61
00:04:16,937 --> 00:04:18,527
Oh, tell me you are joking.
62
00:04:21,556 --> 00:04:23,411
We're only going for one night.
63
00:04:27,634 --> 00:04:30,189
I've been looking forward
to this all day long.
64
00:04:31,173 --> 00:04:34,258
You're too good to me, sweetcheeks,
you are, really.
65
00:04:35,590 --> 00:04:37,646
- Good day, Dad?
- Yeah, not bad, mate.
66
00:04:38,145 --> 00:04:41,779
I left work at two just to play the full 18
with Chalky and Woodruffe.
67
00:04:41,899 --> 00:04:43,816
Don't tell your mother.
How did you get on?
68
00:04:43,916 --> 00:04:46,278
- Not bad. A couple of birdies.
- What's that?
69
00:04:46,580 --> 00:04:50,498
A couple of birdies in the bush in the front
garden when I got in from work.
70
00:04:50,598 --> 00:04:54,638
You wanna get a life, Michael. Gavin doesn't
wanna now about birds in the bush.
71
00:04:54,738 --> 00:04:57,028
Good job he's playing golf tomorrow,
eh, Gav?
72
00:04:58,470 --> 00:05:01,177
- What on earth have you got there?
- I'm on the Atkins.
73
00:05:01,277 --> 00:05:04,962
You what?
Atkins means - unlike you two,
74
00:05:05,062 --> 00:05:08,097
I'm not entitled to any carbohydrates,
vis-a-vis chips.
75
00:05:08,197 --> 00:05:11,893
So I have substituted my chips
by having two extra steaks.
76
00:05:11,993 --> 00:05:14,921
Three steaks? Are you mad?
No. It's not three steaks,
77
00:05:15,021 --> 00:05:17,817
it's one steak for me as an actual steak,
78
00:05:17,917 --> 00:05:21,164
one as a substitute for my chips
and one as a substitute for my peas.
79
00:05:21,264 --> 00:05:24,212
- But you're eating half a cow, woman!
- Right. That's it.
80
00:05:24,312 --> 00:05:27,279
- I knew you'd say something. I'll starve.
- Mum, come on!
81
00:05:27,379 --> 00:05:29,052
No, Gavin. I've had enough.
82
00:05:29,152 --> 00:05:31,683
I've tried. God knows I've tried.
Fve done the lot.
83
00:05:31,783 --> 00:05:33,273
Pilates. Doesn t work.
84
00:05:33,373 --> 00:05:37,192
Can't do cabbage soup, you don't like
the smell. Now I can't have steak.
85
00:05:37,292 --> 00:05:39,785
- Oh, for the love of Mike.
- Dad, she's on a diet.
86
00:05:39,885 --> 00:05:44,958
- Look, I'm sorry, have the sodding steaks.
- No. And d'you know why?
87
00:05:45,431 --> 00:05:48,876
Because you will be up that golf club
tomorrow and you'll be giving it all this.
88
00:05:48,976 --> 00:05:51,687
'D'you know what my wife
Pamela had last night?'
89
00:05:51,787 --> 00:05:55,492
'D'you what my fat, disgusting wife
Pamela had? Three steaks!'
90
00:05:55,592 --> 00:05:59,864
They'll tell their wives, and before you know
it I'll be known as Three Steaks Pam.
91
00:06:00,370 --> 00:06:04,874
Like when I had a urine infection.
Look what they called me then.
92
00:06:04,974 --> 00:06:09,739
- Just eat the steaks. - Oh, you'd love that,
wouldn't you? Well, no Michael.
93
00:06:09,839 --> 00:06:11,585
You are gonna watch me starve.
94
00:06:11,685 --> 00:06:15,314
- Prepare to watch your wife starve,
potentially to death. - Gav-la?
95
00:06:15,414 --> 00:06:19,005
- Pam-la? Michael?
- Hello, Smithy!
96
00:06:19,403 --> 00:06:22,147
- Ah, darling!
- Pamela, you're looking beautiful!
97
00:06:23,423 --> 00:06:24,596
Oh, stop it!
98
00:06:25,675 --> 00:06:27,612
- Would you like a steak?
- One going, is there?
99
00:06:27,712 --> 00:06:30,830
Due to recent events, there
happens to be three going.
100
00:06:30,930 --> 00:06:34,293
Three? I just had shepherd's pie,
but I'll take two of them on.
101
00:06:35,204 --> 00:06:37,286
- You not eating, Pam?
- Er, no, Smithy.
102
00:06:37,949 --> 00:06:40,977
And this may be the last time
you ever see me.
103
00:06:42,718 --> 00:06:45,198
- Give it a rest!
- Chuck us that sauce.
104
00:06:45,577 --> 00:06:48,795
So I said to him,
'Oh, scaghead. Do what you like.
105
00:06:48,895 --> 00:06:51,274
'It's your life. I'm not about
to tell you how to live it.
106
00:06:51,374 --> 00:06:54,447
I wouldn't tell myself
how to live my life.
107
00:06:54,719 --> 00:06:58,808
But don't come round here peddling
your wares, cos I've got a business to run.'
108
00:06:58,908 --> 00:07:00,719
But you haven't a business to run.
109
00:07:00,819 --> 00:07:04,443
Between twelve and two, I am in charge.
At that particular moment,
110
00:07:04,543 --> 00:07:08,190
I was in charge. So yes, I do have
a business to run, as it goes.
111
00:07:08,682 --> 00:07:10,480
- Only me!
- Hiya!
112
00:07:11,433 --> 00:07:12,644
I got the alarm.
113
00:07:13,491 --> 00:07:15,706
- Oh, hi, Ness.
- All right, Bryn?
114
00:07:15,806 --> 00:07:19,264
- How's it going down the slots?
- I won't lie to you, Bryn. I hates it.
115
00:07:19,364 --> 00:07:21,762
Barry Island's not what it used to be,
but what can you do?
116
00:07:21,862 --> 00:07:23,598
Times change. People move on.
117
00:07:25,511 --> 00:07:29,145
- What do I owe you for that alarm, Bryn?
- Don't worry - this one's on me.
118
00:07:29,245 --> 00:07:32,155
- No, come on.
- 'Ey, these things are important.
119
00:07:32,255 --> 00:07:35,940
My brother would turn in his grave if he
thought I wasn't looking after his little girl.
120
00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:40,500
And the truth is, I don't want anyone
in this room being raped, myself included.
121
00:07:40,917 --> 00:07:43,283
- That's very good of you, love.
- Aye. Fair play.
122
00:07:43,699 --> 00:07:45,327
Oh, thanks, Uncle Bryn.
123
00:07:46,120 --> 00:07:48,543
'Ey, come on, don't get me started now.
124
00:07:49,338 --> 00:07:50,152
Right!
125
00:07:50,711 --> 00:07:54,812
The man in the shop says I should give
you a little demonstration. So, Stace,
126
00:07:55,185 --> 00:07:59,183
I want you to run at me as if to all intents
and purposes you were my attacker.
127
00:07:59,283 --> 00:08:01,664
You don't have to show me.
I can work it out myself.
128
00:08:01,764 --> 00:08:06,111
Stace, tomorrow morning you are
travelling to London, England,
129
00:08:06,376 --> 00:08:09,499
to meet a boy you've never met before.
I offered to come with you.
130
00:08:09,599 --> 00:08:13,040
You said, 'No.' I offered to drive
and wait in the car. You said, 'No.'
131
00:08:13,140 --> 00:08:17,582
Now, you've met me halfway on the
rape alarm - at least have the decency
132
00:08:17,682 --> 00:08:22,020
to let me give you a demonstration
because, I tell you this for nothing,
133
00:08:22,120 --> 00:08:25,911
if you come back on Sunday raped
and I showed you how to use it,
134
00:08:26,011 --> 00:08:27,661
I'll rest easy in my bed.
135
00:08:28,134 --> 00:08:32,355
You come back on Sunday raped,
the fault will lie solely at your door.
136
00:08:32,608 --> 00:08:34,103
So, please, attack me.
137
00:08:41,759 --> 00:08:44,030
Oh, no, no.
What are you doing?
138
00:08:44,130 --> 00:08:46,869
You've got to put a bit of
aggression into it.
139
00:08:48,508 --> 00:08:51,196
Stace, sit down.
Ness, you have a go.
140
00:08:55,563 --> 00:08:58,781
Not too late to back out, y'know.
All it takes is one phone call.
141
00:08:58,881 --> 00:09:01,596
- No, I've got to meet her. I wanna meet her.
- Really?
142
00:09:01,696 --> 00:09:04,378
- Yeah, it's exciting.
- Maybe it is exciting,
143
00:09:04,478 --> 00:09:07,275
but you know what they say about excitement?
- What?
144
00:09:07,375 --> 00:09:08,959
It's by the by. Look.
145
00:09:09,463 --> 00:09:12,151
I was talking to Gary and Simon
about you, and we're worried.
146
00:09:12,251 --> 00:09:15,085
- Why?
- You're putting all your eggs in one bag.
147
00:09:15,185 --> 00:09:18,019
She's Welsh! She might not even turn up.
148
00:09:18,119 --> 00:09:20,460
All I'm saying is don't get your hopes up.
149
00:09:21,256 --> 00:09:23,755
Since when did you became
an expert on relationships?
150
00:09:24,013 --> 00:09:26,644
You've only had one girlfriend,
she's just turned 17.
151
00:09:26,744 --> 00:09:29,218
So forgive me if I don't hang on your
every word regarding my love life.
152
00:09:29,318 --> 00:09:33,326
17-and-three-quarters and she got 90%
in her driving theory test.
153
00:09:33,426 --> 00:09:35,352
Look, you don't have to come.
I'll go on me own.
154
00:09:35,452 --> 00:09:38,626
You're not going on your own
to meet up with two freaks!
155
00:09:39,114 --> 00:09:42,483
Stacey's not a freak. She might not be
but her mate could be a complete nutter.
156
00:09:42,583 --> 00:09:43,543
Course she won't be!
157
00:09:43,643 --> 00:09:47,308
- You perverted piece of shit!
- Put him down, Nessa!
158
00:09:47,408 --> 00:09:48,778
You make me sick!
159
00:09:50,470 --> 00:09:53,404
- Is that the sort of thing you meant, then?
- Yes.
160
00:10:17,480 --> 00:10:19,959
- Night, Ness.
- Night, Stace.
161
00:10:39,918 --> 00:10:42,663
- Forgotten your case, Ness?
- Don't be a twat, Dave.
162
00:10:46,903 --> 00:10:49,571
I had the best night of my life
with that woman.
163
00:10:49,671 --> 00:10:53,996
- Are we all right to smoke, then?
- Animal. Absolute animal.
164
00:10:54,261 --> 00:10:57,460
- Dave?
- What? Oh, sorry luv... Smoking? Yeah.
165
00:10:57,560 --> 00:11:02,558
My motto is 'Fags and weed, glue and
speed, but I draws the line at crack'.
166
00:11:02,855 --> 00:11:05,997
- That way, everyone knows where they stand.
- Oh, fair play.
167
00:11:12,774 --> 00:11:17,147
- THAT is de-bloody-beautiful!
- Yeah, it is nice.
168
00:11:17,639 --> 00:11:21,213
This beer is allowed to ferment for nine
years in North Rhine-Westphalen,
169
00:11:21,313 --> 00:11:25,494
home of Munchengladbach FC, and is considered
one of Germany's best-kept secrets.
170
00:11:28,507 --> 00:11:29,719
Right, Gav-la...
171
00:11:30,306 --> 00:11:34,318
I think you'll agree, that THAT
is easily worth an 8.5.
172
00:11:35,267 --> 00:11:35,929
Gav?
173
00:11:37,917 --> 00:11:38,958
- Gavin?
- Yeah?
174
00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:41,494
Yeah, whatever.
175
00:11:43,633 --> 00:11:45,412
- This was your idea!
- What?
176
00:11:45,691 --> 00:11:46,467
This!
177
00:11:46,567 --> 00:11:47,660
You came to my house.
178
00:11:47,760 --> 00:11:50,385
You said, "Let's try every beer around
the world within 12 months."
179
00:11:50,485 --> 00:11:52,524
I said, "No, you'll never do it."
You said, "Come on.
180
00:11:52,624 --> 00:11:54,909
I said, "No."
You said, "Please?" I said, "Fine."
181
00:11:55,009 --> 00:11:57,275
Now I'm the only one who gives a shit!
182
00:11:57,375 --> 00:12:01,251
Gary and Simon dropped out after Belgium.
I don't know where Fingers is. But you!
183
00:12:01,351 --> 00:12:04,544
Once things turned up a notch
with Stacey, you've gone missing!
184
00:12:04,644 --> 00:12:07,933
The lights are on, but everyone's gone out.
I wash my hands of you.
185
00:12:08,033 --> 00:12:10,640
- Smithy...
- And if this mate of hers turns out to be a munter,
186
00:12:10,740 --> 00:12:12,646
that could be it for me and you.
187
00:12:17,868 --> 00:12:19,136
Are you drinking that?
188
00:12:19,236 --> 00:12:21,540
- I'm just too nervous, mate.
- Right. Well...
189
00:13:25,491 --> 00:13:27,537
- There she is. - Where?
- There!
190
00:13:28,218 --> 00:13:29,884
Oh, my God. Right, come on.
191
00:13:30,535 --> 00:13:33,053
But where's her mate?
Oi! Where's her mate?!
192
00:13:36,100 --> 00:13:36,952
Stacey?
193
00:13:37,671 --> 00:13:40,927
Oh, my God!..
Hiya!
194
00:13:41,213 --> 00:13:43,181
When did you get here?
I thought you weren't gonna come!
195
00:13:43,281 --> 00:13:45,171
I've only been here ten minutes.
196
00:13:46,363 --> 00:13:49,240
- I like your cardi.
- Cheers. River Island.
197
00:13:49,340 --> 00:13:51,885
Oh, so is my belt! Amazing!
198
00:13:54,989 --> 00:13:57,317
Oh, sorry, mate. Stace, this is Smithy.
199
00:13:57,417 --> 00:14:00,531
- Hiya, Stacey, all right? Heard a lot about you.
- Heard a lot about you, too.
200
00:14:00,789 --> 00:14:02,928
- Came on your own in the end
then, did you? Or. . . ?
201
00:14:03,028 --> 00:14:07,521
What? Oh, no, no, I came with...
Oh, here she is now! Nessa!
202
00:14:08,077 --> 00:14:09,061
Oh for. ..
203
00:14:10,354 --> 00:14:13,401
- This is Vanessa.
- Six quid for two slices of pizza!
204
00:14:13,501 --> 00:14:15,900
They take the piss, these Cockneys.
- Ness! - What?
205
00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:19,436
- This is Gavin.
- All righ', Gav? How's it going, all righ'?
206
00:14:19,693 --> 00:14:22,683
Yeah, great.
Er. . .and this is Smithy.
207
00:14:28,380 --> 00:14:31,427
- Right... Well, shall we get a drink?
- Yeah, great!
208
00:14:33,382 --> 00:14:37,376
- Oh, Stace! D'you not want this now?
- No, I'm not hungry any more!
209
00:14:41,240 --> 00:14:42,640
Yeah, might as well.
210
00:14:46,899 --> 00:14:50,534
- Oh, it's a bit dead in here.
- I don't mind, it's well base
211
00:14:50,634 --> 00:14:51,612
What do you want to drink?
212
00:14:51,712 --> 00:14:54,887
I'll have a white wine spritzer and Ness
will have a gin and tonic. - All right.
213
00:14:56,663 --> 00:15:00,998
All right, er, yeah - two beers, double
gin and tonic, white wine spritzer.
214
00:15:01,098 --> 00:15:02,753
And eight After Shocks.
215
00:15:05,451 --> 00:15:06,227
What?
216
00:15:09,144 --> 00:15:10,034
Smithy?
217
00:15:11,472 --> 00:15:13,800
This is a nightmare of epic proportions.
218
00:15:14,198 --> 00:15:15,693
What's wrong with her?
219
00:15:16,695 --> 00:15:19,982
A - how old is it?!
B - have you seen the tattoo?!
220
00:15:20,082 --> 00:15:22,354
- And 3 - look at the size of it!
- What d'you mean?
221
00:15:22,454 --> 00:15:24,096
- She's massive! - She's not.
- She's huge.
222
00:15:24,196 --> 00:15:27,068
- With respect, Smithy...
- I'm big, I'll give you that.
223
00:15:27,168 --> 00:15:29,963
Sorry, the size of that... Look at it!
- Hey!
224
00:15:30,493 --> 00:15:32,632
All right? Been powdering your nose?
225
00:15:33,458 --> 00:15:35,219
Oh thanks, Stace. Thanks a lot.
226
00:15:35,319 --> 00:15:37,736
- What?
- Look, let's get one thing straight.
227
00:15:37,836 --> 00:15:41,067
I don't touch that shit no more,
all right? I did... and now I don't.
228
00:15:41,167 --> 00:15:42,956
So let that be an end to it.
229
00:15:46,447 --> 00:15:47,601
Oh, Nessa!
230
00:15:49,873 --> 00:15:53,242
And D - to top it all off -
she's a drug addict! Brilliant!
231
00:15:55,513 --> 00:15:56,592
Cheers, mate.
232
00:17:00,333 --> 00:17:03,097
- I'm so hot!
- I know. I'm wet through!
233
00:17:03,948 --> 00:17:06,106
I can't believe this, you know.
You what?
234
00:17:06,206 --> 00:17:08,548
- This! Us, I can't believe it!
- I know.
235
00:17:08,648 --> 00:17:12,125
- It's better than I thought it would be.
- It's like I've known you ages.
236
00:17:12,225 --> 00:17:14,264
- Like I've known you for life.
- What?
237
00:17:14,364 --> 00:17:16,346
Like I've known you all my life.
238
00:17:17,235 --> 00:17:19,828
- I was so worried you wouldn't like me.
- You what?
239
00:17:19,928 --> 00:17:22,610
- I was so nervous.
- Yeah, me too!
240
00:17:23,046 --> 00:17:25,733
- Look, Stace, I just want you to know...
- Sorry?
241
00:17:25,833 --> 00:17:28,454
- I just want you to know...
- I can't hear you!
242
00:17:28,908 --> 00:17:30,574
I just wanted to...
243
00:17:42,398 --> 00:17:43,458
..say that.
244
00:17:58,672 --> 00:18:01,321
Smithy! Train goes in 20 minutes!
245
00:18:02,464 --> 00:18:05,739
You don't have to go, y'know.
Not if you don't want to.
246
00:18:05,839 --> 00:18:08,881
- What, you mean come back?
- Yeah. Well, if you like.
247
00:18:08,981 --> 00:18:11,214
It's up to you.
I don't want you to think that...
248
00:18:11,314 --> 00:18:14,072
Gavin, I'm asking you to come back with me.
249
00:18:16,419 --> 00:18:19,391
S'all right, mate. You get the train.
I'm gonna go back with erm...
250
00:18:19,491 --> 00:18:21,397
- Nessa.
- Nessa, that's it.
251
00:18:21,497 --> 00:18:22,854
Can I have a word?
252
00:18:25,753 --> 00:18:28,895
You got any johnnies?
I ain't going in there bareback.
253
00:18:29,216 --> 00:18:31,980
- We'll have to stop off at a garage on the way.
- Are you in?
254
00:18:32,080 --> 00:18:34,000
- I think so.
- Quality! Quality.
255
00:18:34,100 --> 00:18:36,404
- Well have to make a stop, girls.
- What for?
256
00:18:36,504 --> 00:18:39,969
- Well we might have to... erm...
get some...
257
00:18:40,069 --> 00:18:43,905
- Don't worry. I got a stash... Ribbed.
- Taxi!
258
00:18:55,798 --> 00:18:57,199
There's no mini bar.
259
00:18:57,299 --> 00:19:00,014
- I'll order some room service, shall I?
- Yeah. Gav,
260
00:19:00,323 --> 00:19:03,919
I'm not bein' funny, but it's half two
now and we're leaving in eight hours.
261
00:19:04,019 --> 00:19:06,962
We all know what's gonna happen,
who wants what...
262
00:19:07,062 --> 00:19:09,952
so why not cut to the chase
and we can all get some?
263
00:19:10,840 --> 00:19:13,831
- And they say romance is dead.
- Don't be a prick, Gav.
264
00:19:14,493 --> 00:19:16,727
Right, Stace, how d'you want to do this?
265
00:19:16,827 --> 00:19:18,620
Well, we'll have this bed,
you have that one.
266
00:19:18,720 --> 00:19:20,872
- Switch the lights off and get on with it.
- Right.
267
00:19:20,972 --> 00:19:24,363
Hang on, are you serious?
Those beds are like two feet apart.
268
00:19:24,463 --> 00:19:25,745
I don't give a shit.
269
00:19:26,293 --> 00:19:28,508
I just feel a little bit uncomfortable!
270
00:19:29,538 --> 00:19:31,772
OK. OK, as a mate...
271
00:19:32,813 --> 00:19:35,084
we'll go in the en suite. Yeah? Nessa?
272
00:19:35,626 --> 00:19:38,349
All right...
but only for the first one.
273
00:19:39,065 --> 00:19:40,901
I hopes you're hungry, big boy.
274
00:19:44,196 --> 00:19:45,142
Come on!
275
00:19:45,521 --> 00:19:46,884
Get in here now.
276
00:19:47,906 --> 00:19:48,890
Bit of music?
277
00:19:51,086 --> 00:19:52,600
Sorry. Bloody thing...
278
00:19:53,395 --> 00:19:55,477
Hang on, let's try this.
279
00:20:02,520 --> 00:20:03,826
I love this one.
280
00:20:05,492 --> 00:20:07,195
Right. D'you want a drink, then?
281
00:20:07,517 --> 00:20:09,788
- Gavin...
- I can go down to the bar if you like...
282
00:20:09,888 --> 00:20:13,176
- Gav...
- I'm easy...I just don't... We can talk if you want.
283
00:20:41,829 --> 00:20:43,306
This is so lush.
284
00:20:47,955 --> 00:20:49,185
Mmm. It is.
285
00:20:50,396 --> 00:20:51,759
It's totally lush.
286
00:20:56,883 --> 00:20:59,950
Oh, fucking hell.
Oh God!
287
00:21:01,079 --> 00:21:02,783
Oh! Dirty!
288
00:21:04,367 --> 00:21:06,684
Oh! Oh! That's it.
289
00:21:07,843 --> 00:21:10,663
Oh! Oh! Now we're talking.
290
00:21:10,963 --> 00:21:12,300
Oh, yeah. Oh...
291
00:21:13,575 --> 00:21:15,600
Ow! Ow! OW! Oh, God!
292
00:21:19,535 --> 00:21:20,784
Ooooh, God.
293
00:21:30,621 --> 00:21:33,328
- Oh, Stace, don't wake him.
- Why?
294
00:21:33,839 --> 00:21:36,205
I'm not being funny,
right now you look like shit.
295
00:21:36,305 --> 00:21:38,798
Last night you looked cracking.
Let that be the memory.
296
00:21:38,898 --> 00:21:40,736
Good point. I'll leave a note.
297
00:21:41,248 --> 00:21:43,197
- What about Smithy?
- No, leave him.
298
00:21:43,777 --> 00:21:46,223
His breath is rank
and mine's not much better.
299
00:22:09,993 --> 00:22:10,805
Smithy!
300
00:22:11,035 --> 00:22:11,907
Smithy!
301
00:22:13,843 --> 00:22:14,728
Oh, God.
302
00:22:15,624 --> 00:22:16,751
Oh, my God.
303
00:22:18,350 --> 00:22:20,482
- Come on, mate, we haven't got time for this.
- Ohh...
304
00:22:21,212 --> 00:22:23,150
I feel like I've been abused!
305
00:22:23,250 --> 00:22:26,166
Look, I wanna say goodbye properly.
Their coach leaves in half an hour.
306
00:22:26,266 --> 00:22:27,560
Oh God, the guilt.
307
00:22:28,442 --> 00:22:29,617
Oh, the guilt!
308
00:22:30,961 --> 00:22:32,379
Oh, what about Lucy?
309
00:22:33,214 --> 00:22:35,721
I'm going to have to confess.
No, mate! Look, what's the point?
310
00:22:35,821 --> 00:22:36,993
I've got to!
No you don't!
311
00:22:37,093 --> 00:22:39,383
- I have! - Why?
- You don't understand!
312
00:22:43,141 --> 00:22:44,752
She did things...
313
00:22:44,852 --> 00:22:45,793
Mate...
314
00:22:46,356 --> 00:22:49,069
she put things... in
315
00:22:51,777 --> 00:22:54,454
Did Stacey... Listen, did Stacey...?
Did she...?
316
00:22:54,554 --> 00:22:56,138
Did she stick anything...?
317
00:22:56,238 --> 00:22:58,428
Smithy, I can't believe
you're even asking me?!
318
00:22:58,528 --> 00:23:00,903
I am not discussing anything
about last night with you!
319
00:23:01,003 --> 00:23:03,059
I need to know whether
this is something that just...
320
00:23:04,086 --> 00:23:04,813
Oh...
321
00:23:06,193 --> 00:23:07,296
- Nessa.
- Nessa.
322
00:23:07,396 --> 00:23:10,457
Whether it's something just she does
or is it a Welsh thing?
323
00:23:10,557 --> 00:23:11,257
Why does it matter?
324
00:23:11,357 --> 00:23:13,644
If it's something everybody does
I don't need to see a doctor.
325
00:23:14,261 --> 00:23:16,296
- Get dressed!
- All right!
326
00:23:20,135 --> 00:23:21,189
Oh, God!
327
00:23:29,481 --> 00:23:32,618
Don't suppose I can tempt you
to a Chinese down mine later?
328
00:23:33,330 --> 00:23:35,534
Oh, Dave, when are you going to learn?
329
00:23:36,043 --> 00:23:37,436
You could buy me all the chocolates,
330
00:23:37,536 --> 00:23:40,013
all the chow mein you like, but it
won't wash, and you knows why.
331
00:23:40,113 --> 00:23:43,335
Back off or I'll tell everyone on that
coach about my trip to the doctor's,
332
00:23:43,435 --> 00:23:44,931
is that what you want?
333
00:23:45,476 --> 00:23:46,433
No. Sorry.
334
00:23:46,533 --> 00:23:49,823
Look, I think you're a cracking bloke,
Dave, but let's face it -
335
00:23:50,113 --> 00:23:51,955
- you're riddled.
- I know.
336
00:23:53,717 --> 00:23:55,183
How is everything, er,
337
00:23:55,716 --> 00:23:57,097
down there, by the way?
338
00:23:57,630 --> 00:24:00,234
Shipshape and shiny now,
no thanks to you.
339
00:24:01,494 --> 00:24:03,735
Stacey! Stacey!
340
00:24:05,055 --> 00:24:08,325
- Oh, God!
- I had to say goodbye.
341
00:24:09,952 --> 00:24:11,978
You, er... forgot this.
342
00:24:12,754 --> 00:24:13,833
Oh. tidy.
343
00:24:16,258 --> 00:24:18,605
- So I'll give you a ring.
- Why?
344
00:24:20,138 --> 00:24:22,996
- Well, y'know...
- Oh, get a life, Smithy.
345
00:24:23,677 --> 00:24:24,756
Oh, Stace!
346
00:24:25,252 --> 00:24:27,655
Come on, babes.
I'll see you again really soon.
347
00:24:27,755 --> 00:24:29,037
- Don't.
- What?
348
00:24:29,137 --> 00:24:31,005
Don't promise me nothin'.
349
00:24:31,725 --> 00:24:33,674
If this is all it's meant to be,
350
00:24:33,774 --> 00:24:35,794
I'm still so happy I met you!
351
00:24:53,707 --> 00:24:56,433
- Right. KFC?
- No, mate, there's something I gotta do.
352
00:24:56,533 --> 00:24:58,589
- Taxi!
- What? Where are you going?
353
00:24:58,689 --> 00:25:00,936
I've got to go home.
Billericay, please mate.
354
00:25:01,036 --> 00:25:04,229
- I thought we were going to share a bucket?!
- Are you coming or what?
355
00:25:26,822 --> 00:25:27,996
Cheers, mate.
356
00:25:35,678 --> 00:25:37,817
Gav? Gavin?
357
00:25:39,253 --> 00:25:40,994
- How did it go?
- Brilliant.
358
00:25:41,094 --> 00:25:43,265
- What's she like?
- I'll tell you later.
359
00:25:44,874 --> 00:25:45,991
See you then.
360
00:25:47,751 --> 00:25:49,871
- What on earth's going on?
- Don't ask!
361
00:25:49,971 --> 00:25:52,091
All I know is I'm so ravenous
I can barely see!
362
00:25:52,191 --> 00:25:53,964
Do you want a Pammy's full English?
363
00:25:54,064 --> 00:25:56,311
- You read my mind!
- How about you, Smithy?
364
00:25:56,411 --> 00:25:58,753
- Did you have a good time?
- Not really, no.
365
00:26:35,231 --> 00:26:36,442
Oh, my God!
366
00:26:37,729 --> 00:26:40,966
- What you doin' here?!
- I said I'd see you soon, didn't I?
367
00:26:48,480 --> 00:26:49,445
What's up?
368
00:26:50,486 --> 00:26:51,452
Nothing.
369
00:26:53,320 --> 00:26:54,096
What?
370
00:26:55,156 --> 00:26:56,879
- It's stupid...
- Stace?
371
00:26:58,173 --> 00:26:59,233
It's just...
372
00:27:00,425 --> 00:27:01,636
I told myself...
373
00:27:02,784 --> 00:27:06,229
if ever I saw you again
in the flesh, like, that I'd...
374
00:27:08,425 --> 00:27:09,182
What?
375
00:27:10,781 --> 00:27:13,809
That I'd tell you something.
But I can't.
376
00:27:14,850 --> 00:27:19,241
Oh, Stace, I'm going for a curry with Dave.
I'll call you tomorrow.
377
00:27:22,436 --> 00:27:24,272
If you say it, I'll say it back.
378
00:27:26,940 --> 00:27:28,682
- I love you.
- I love you too.
379
00:27:33,042 --> 00:27:35,143
- What's that?
- Just my rape alarm!
380
00:27:35,144 --> 00:27:40,144
Transcript: evarin
english.yyets.net
381
00:27:40,145 --> 00:27:45,145
Sync: boomer2
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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