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1
00:00:21,020 --> 00:00:22,021
(ALARM WAILING)
2
00:00:24,941 --> 00:00:28,486
FARNSWORTH: Planet Express
crew, report to headquarters immediately!
3
00:00:28,611 --> 00:00:31,280
Repeat, what I just said,
immediately!
4
00:00:35,743 --> 00:00:37,119
Sorry, Randy.
Ah!
5
00:00:37,328 --> 00:00:39,580
Step away from the car,
and no one gets hurt!
6
00:00:39,664 --> 00:00:40,957
(GROANS)
7
00:00:43,417 --> 00:00:45,044
To the employment cave!
8
00:00:45,127 --> 00:00:46,462
(GRUNTING)
9
00:00:46,546 --> 00:00:47,755
(GROANS)
10
00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:52,510
Thanks, dear.
Off to work.
11
00:01:01,686 --> 00:01:02,937
(URGING)
12
00:01:03,020 --> 00:01:04,939
Whoa, whoa, there, girl.
13
00:01:05,022 --> 00:01:07,066
Go on, now!
Get on back to Paraguay!
14
00:01:07,149 --> 00:01:08,150
(BRAYING)
15
00:01:12,321 --> 00:01:13,322
(GROWLING)
16
00:01:13,406 --> 00:01:14,574
(ALL SCREAMING)
17
00:01:14,657 --> 00:01:16,200
We're being eaten
by a giant spider!
18
00:01:16,284 --> 00:01:19,161
There's no time for that!
The Professor needs us!
19
00:01:34,260 --> 00:01:35,595
Crew, as you know,
20
00:01:35,678 --> 00:01:38,472
I've delivered a lot of
good news in the past.
21
00:01:38,556 --> 00:01:42,560
But what I'm about to lay down is
by far the greatest announcement
22
00:01:42,643 --> 00:01:44,937
in the history
of Planet Express!
23
00:01:45,021 --> 00:01:46,522
(ALL MURMURING)
24
00:01:47,148 --> 00:01:48,858
What is it?
I'm on the edge of my butt.
25
00:01:49,191 --> 00:01:53,112
Ladies and gentlemen, feast
your eyes on our amazing new
26
00:01:53,779 --> 00:01:54,989
soda machine!
27
00:01:55,948 --> 00:01:56,949
(ALL CHEERING)
28
00:01:57,033 --> 00:01:58,701
That's what
I'm talking about!
29
00:01:59,577 --> 00:02:01,996
You undersold it, Professor!
30
00:02:02,288 --> 00:02:05,666
Look, it has Slurm Loco!
It's the extreme-iest!
31
00:02:06,542 --> 00:02:08,127
Hey, what can I get y'all?
32
00:02:08,210 --> 00:02:11,547
Wow, you can talk? Shut
up and give me a Slurm Loco.
33
00:02:16,552 --> 00:02:17,553
(GULPS)
Ooh! ooh!
34
00:02:17,637 --> 00:02:20,598
Hey, drink machine, what
kind of alcoholic sodas you got?
35
00:02:20,848 --> 00:02:23,601
Y'all can't drink at work!
This ain't a sawmill!
36
00:02:23,768 --> 00:02:25,686
No alcohol? (SCOFFS)
37
00:02:25,770 --> 00:02:28,481
And you got the nerve to call
yourself a beverage machine?
38
00:02:28,648 --> 00:02:30,483
I call myself Bev.
39
00:02:30,733 --> 00:02:33,110
And if you're looking for
a smelly old can of booze,
40
00:02:33,277 --> 00:02:34,278
go look in the mirror.
41
00:02:34,570 --> 00:02:36,322
Oh, snap.
Ooh...
42
00:02:36,405 --> 00:02:38,741
No, no, everybody calm down.
43
00:02:38,908 --> 00:02:40,618
Yeah, I need one more Slurm.
44
00:02:45,539 --> 00:02:48,084
And one more to wash that
Slurm taste out of my mouth.
45
00:02:54,131 --> 00:02:57,176
So I went to the bathroom, and
my pee was green. Pretty neat, huh?
46
00:02:57,259 --> 00:02:59,261
I was wondering who
Shrekked in the toilet.
47
00:02:59,887 --> 00:03:02,431
I hope you're
proud of yourself, Bev.
48
00:03:02,598 --> 00:03:05,518
You've turned this perfectly
worthless loser into an addict.
49
00:03:05,768 --> 00:03:07,353
Cut me some
slack, preacher.
50
00:03:07,436 --> 00:03:10,189
I'm just a coal grinder's
daughter trying to stay off the pole.
51
00:03:10,564 --> 00:03:14,026
With that big old caboose,
it'd have to be a telephone pole!
52
00:03:14,235 --> 00:03:15,528
Hey-o!
53
00:03:15,611 --> 00:03:16,612
(LAUGHS)
54
00:03:16,737 --> 00:03:18,781
Well, I guess
a fellow's got to talk big
55
00:03:18,864 --> 00:03:21,534
when he's sporting a little
shrivel-led up antenna like that.
56
00:03:21,701 --> 00:03:22,868
What? (SPUTTERING)
57
00:03:23,119 --> 00:03:27,164
For your information, "Madam,"
it's a grower, not a shower!
58
00:03:32,795 --> 00:03:34,797
My antenna's fine.
It's just fine.
59
00:03:35,131 --> 00:03:36,716
Ladies can't get
enough Bender.
60
00:03:37,049 --> 00:03:39,719
I need to loosen up.
Give me a screwdriver.
61
00:03:40,803 --> 00:03:43,305
Hello. Who's your
hot, dumb friend?
62
00:03:43,597 --> 00:03:44,640
Me?
Me?
63
00:03:45,224 --> 00:03:46,225
Sure, why not.
64
00:03:46,308 --> 00:03:47,685
(BOTH GIGGLING)
65
00:03:50,479 --> 00:03:51,731
(BOTH LAUGHING)
66
00:03:54,483 --> 00:03:56,360
Hang on.
It's too bright in here.
67
00:03:56,652 --> 00:04:00,156
Call me old-fashioned, but I
like a little romance in an orgy.
68
00:04:00,448 --> 00:04:02,324
Let me switch off
this weird light.
69
00:04:02,867 --> 00:04:03,868
Ow!
70
00:04:04,201 --> 00:04:05,953
Fry, it's 2.00 a.m.
71
00:04:06,162 --> 00:04:08,330
What are you doing here
glowing on my skanks?
72
00:04:08,664 --> 00:04:10,666
Just sitting here
turning quarters into urine.
73
00:04:12,334 --> 00:04:13,878
We don't got to
put up with this.
74
00:04:14,044 --> 00:04:15,379
We got Poli Sci degrees.
75
00:04:15,671 --> 00:04:16,964
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hang on.
76
00:04:17,089 --> 00:04:18,841
I'll just politely
escort him to the gutter.
77
00:04:19,592 --> 00:04:20,718
Scram, shiny!
(GRUNTS)
78
00:04:21,844 --> 00:04:23,179
All right,
how we feeling?
79
00:04:23,512 --> 00:04:26,182
Hot. I could bake
a potato in my cleavage.
80
00:04:26,474 --> 00:04:28,350
Yeah, I need a seltzer.
81
00:04:28,684 --> 00:04:29,935
(SIGHS)
82
00:04:30,019 --> 00:04:32,313
I'd be honored to purchase
you some refreshment.
83
00:04:32,521 --> 00:04:34,315
Hey, drink machine,
you got anything
84
00:04:34,398 --> 00:04:36,192
classy for these
delicate flowers?
85
00:04:36,525 --> 00:04:39,570
I ain't making drinks
for no trashy robo-sluts.
86
00:04:39,987 --> 00:04:43,240
Trashy? At least
I don't put out for quarters.
87
00:04:43,324 --> 00:04:44,325
(GROWLS)
88
00:04:45,534 --> 00:04:46,660
(BOTH PROTESTING)
89
00:04:46,744 --> 00:04:47,912
Hey!
90
00:04:48,996 --> 00:04:51,749
Hey. Stop that,
drink machine.
91
00:04:52,041 --> 00:04:53,334
Stop it, I say.
92
00:04:53,918 --> 00:04:55,878
That's it, we're out of here.
93
00:04:56,045 --> 00:04:57,630
Come on.
We'll split a blintz.
94
00:04:57,713 --> 00:04:59,924
Wait, give me a chance
to defend your honor
95
00:05:00,174 --> 00:05:01,592
and then sully it
on the couch.
96
00:05:03,385 --> 00:05:07,264
All right, I've been waiting all
day for an excuse to hit a lady.
97
00:05:07,473 --> 00:05:09,725
You try it,
and I'll bash your face in.
98
00:05:09,850 --> 00:05:13,771
Ooh, I'm so scared,
No-Arms.
99
00:05:13,854 --> 00:05:14,855
(GROANS)
100
00:05:18,067 --> 00:05:19,360
(BOTH GRUNTING)
101
00:05:20,194 --> 00:05:21,195
You want some of this?
102
00:05:22,154 --> 00:05:23,614
(GROANING)
103
00:05:24,657 --> 00:05:26,784
(BOTH MOANING)
104
00:05:31,288 --> 00:05:32,373
Interesting.
Hmm.
105
00:05:36,252 --> 00:05:40,130
Uh, Fry? You're glowing like
the Human Torch on prom night.
106
00:05:40,589 --> 00:05:43,843
Shouldn't you be standing on a rocky
coast somewhere preventing shipwrecks?
107
00:05:43,926 --> 00:05:45,302
(ALL LAUGHING)
108
00:05:46,262 --> 00:05:49,306
Nice, hate me because
of the brightness of my skin.
109
00:05:51,100 --> 00:05:52,726
(GROANING)
110
00:05:54,061 --> 00:05:56,188
You okay, ma'am?
I think your soda water broke.
111
00:05:56,272 --> 00:05:57,439
(GRUNTING)
112
00:06:00,609 --> 00:06:01,652
(BABY SOBBING)
113
00:06:01,735 --> 00:06:04,738
My God! Bev just had
a baby in my cup!
114
00:06:04,822 --> 00:06:06,282
(ALL GROANING)
115
00:06:07,950 --> 00:06:09,451
I know, right?
116
00:06:09,535 --> 00:06:10,536
I better take that.
117
00:06:12,079 --> 00:06:13,080
Aw!
118
00:06:13,163 --> 00:06:16,125
He's so cute.
Wait. No, he isn't.
119
00:06:16,417 --> 00:06:17,626
He looks like Bender!
120
00:06:18,961 --> 00:06:20,004
(ALL GASPING)
121
00:06:20,462 --> 00:06:23,966
Oh, no, no, no.
No way am I that kid's dad!
122
00:06:24,383 --> 00:06:26,468
Wipe my tiny metal ass!
123
00:06:27,469 --> 00:06:28,762
Aw, crap.
124
00:06:32,933 --> 00:06:34,935
Mama, thirsty.
125
00:06:35,227 --> 00:06:37,313
Hang on, dumpling.
My milk's coming in.
126
00:06:42,735 --> 00:06:43,736
Ugh!
127
00:06:43,819 --> 00:06:44,862
In public?
128
00:06:44,987 --> 00:06:47,156
Aw, biscuits!
I'm a father?
129
00:06:47,406 --> 00:06:48,490
How did this happen?
130
00:06:48,574 --> 00:06:50,326
Does this ring a bell?
131
00:06:50,618 --> 00:06:52,745
Are you telling me
the stuff we did in private,
132
00:06:52,828 --> 00:06:56,498
and also twice on the sidewalk,
made a baby robot? How?
133
00:06:56,749 --> 00:07:00,669
Aw, Bender, didn't your mom ever
tell you where robot babies come from?
134
00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:03,297
No. She was
a religious fundamentalist.
135
00:07:03,672 --> 00:07:06,759
Plus she didn't have a mouth.
It's an unusual combination.
136
00:07:07,051 --> 00:07:10,638
Come on, everyone, let's
take Bender to the teen center
137
00:07:10,721 --> 00:07:13,349
to learn about
the bots and the bees!
138
00:07:17,311 --> 00:07:18,479
It's okay, Bender.
139
00:07:18,604 --> 00:07:20,314
No one here will laugh
at you for not knowing
140
00:07:20,397 --> 00:07:22,066
where robot babies
come from.
141
00:07:22,149 --> 00:07:23,609
(ALL LAUGHING)
142
00:07:23,734 --> 00:07:24,735
ALL: Aw...
143
00:07:25,569 --> 00:07:26,695
We don't know, either.
144
00:07:26,946 --> 00:07:29,073
Then prepare
to be embarrassed.
145
00:07:30,866 --> 00:07:32,952
(ANNOUNCER READING)
146
00:07:33,035 --> 00:07:34,036
Or...
147
00:07:34,119 --> 00:07:36,163
(ANNOUNCER READING)
148
00:07:36,622 --> 00:07:39,083
Meet Gerald,
a maturing young robot.
149
00:07:39,458 --> 00:07:41,251
Hey, he looks like me!
150
00:07:41,627 --> 00:07:43,963
ANNOUNCER: His hideous
appearance is a by-product
151
00:07:44,046 --> 00:07:46,757
of his hardware gearing up
for an important mission,
152
00:07:47,341 --> 00:07:48,550
reproduction.
153
00:07:48,884 --> 00:07:50,386
Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy!
154
00:07:50,594 --> 00:07:53,389
ANNOUNCER: Since factories
can't manufacture enough robots
155
00:07:53,472 --> 00:07:56,892
to meet demand, robots
can also reproduce by mating.
156
00:07:57,226 --> 00:07:58,560
Oh, now you tell me!
157
00:07:58,769 --> 00:08:01,772
ANNOUNCER: First, Gerald
must find a female robot.
158
00:08:02,106 --> 00:08:04,566
The best he can
do is Francine.
159
00:08:04,858 --> 00:08:08,821
(BUZZING) After beer and
hot wings at a local gas station,
160
00:08:08,904 --> 00:08:11,907
the two enjoy intimate time
behind a dumpster.
161
00:08:12,199 --> 00:08:14,410
It's all perfectly natural.
162
00:08:15,035 --> 00:08:18,455
Let's watch, aroused,
as Gerald's antenna uploads
163
00:08:18,539 --> 00:08:21,792
a binary file to
Francine's internal drive.
164
00:08:24,253 --> 00:08:27,339
Manufacturing specs from
each parent are then merged
165
00:08:27,423 --> 00:08:29,174
by a randomized algorithm,
166
00:08:29,425 --> 00:08:33,178
and the resulting code guides
assembly of a new robot.
167
00:08:33,303 --> 00:08:34,471
(BLOWS RASPBERRY)
168
00:08:34,680 --> 00:08:38,434
Yes, everything your body does
is perfectly natural.
169
00:08:38,851 --> 00:08:42,104
Except masturbation.
That's just wrong.
170
00:08:44,148 --> 00:08:45,149
Oh!
171
00:08:45,274 --> 00:08:47,026
I can't believe
I made a kid!
172
00:08:47,192 --> 00:08:48,360
I'm not ready!
173
00:08:48,610 --> 00:08:50,904
There's so much of the
world I haven't stolen yet!
174
00:08:50,988 --> 00:08:54,116
Relax, Bender. No one
would let you near a child.
175
00:08:54,324 --> 00:08:56,827
Bev will get custody, and
you'll be a deadbeat dad
176
00:08:56,910 --> 00:08:58,954
who never even bothers
to know his own son.
177
00:08:59,371 --> 00:09:01,290
(SNIFFLES)
You really think so?
178
00:09:01,457 --> 00:09:04,918
I know so. You're absolutely
horrible in every way.
179
00:09:05,794 --> 00:09:06,962
You're sweet, Leela.
180
00:09:09,423 --> 00:09:10,966
(GIGGLING)
181
00:09:12,301 --> 00:09:15,345
Sorry, Bev, but I ain't
cut out for fatherhood.
182
00:09:15,637 --> 00:09:19,224
So here's my certificate of
abandonment drawn up by our notary.
183
00:09:19,433 --> 00:09:20,476
That'll be 10 bucks.
184
00:09:20,684 --> 00:09:23,187
Now take your kid
and hit the soup line!
185
00:09:23,270 --> 00:09:24,271
(LAUGHS)
186
00:09:24,897 --> 00:09:26,482
(SOBS) Oh, no,
you don't, mister!
187
00:09:26,815 --> 00:09:28,650
Damn baby's driving me crazy!
188
00:09:28,734 --> 00:09:29,777
(GIGGLING)
189
00:09:29,860 --> 00:09:33,238
He won't stop giggling no
matter how much I scream at him!
190
00:09:33,697 --> 00:09:35,074
(SOBBING)
191
00:09:35,908 --> 00:09:36,992
There, there.
192
00:09:38,660 --> 00:09:40,662
I still got womanly needs!
193
00:09:40,829 --> 00:09:42,414
Who's gonna look
twice at me with this
194
00:09:42,498 --> 00:09:44,833
dirty leech hanging
off my dairy nozzle?
195
00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:46,335
Not me, that's for sure.
196
00:09:46,418 --> 00:09:49,129
Then it's settled!
He's all yours, Pappy!
197
00:09:49,505 --> 00:09:51,465
Hey, wait!
You can't leave... What?
198
00:09:53,675 --> 00:09:55,260
(WAILING)
199
00:10:01,433 --> 00:10:02,976
(BOTH WAILING)
200
00:10:07,940 --> 00:10:09,399
(BABY CRYING)
201
00:10:16,532 --> 00:10:17,533
(CRYING STOPS)
202
00:10:17,699 --> 00:10:19,076
(SNORING)
203
00:10:20,828 --> 00:10:21,829
(SIGHS)
204
00:10:25,290 --> 00:10:26,333
(CRYING)
205
00:10:26,416 --> 00:10:27,626
What the...
206
00:10:27,751 --> 00:10:29,795
Can't I have
one moment to myself?
207
00:10:31,672 --> 00:10:32,965
Why can't you sleep?
208
00:10:33,215 --> 00:10:35,384
I left my window open,
and moths got in.
209
00:10:35,551 --> 00:10:38,345
I swear, if I wasn't
such a great dad,
210
00:10:38,428 --> 00:10:40,472
I'd grab his
ugly little neck and...
211
00:10:40,556 --> 00:10:42,724
(GRUNTS)
(GIGGLES)
212
00:10:44,309 --> 00:10:46,478
Hey, he stopped
screaming for a second!
213
00:10:46,728 --> 00:10:48,021
Bend some other stuff!
214
00:10:49,815 --> 00:10:51,233
(LAUGHING)
215
00:10:52,484 --> 00:10:53,610
(SCREAMS)
216
00:10:53,735 --> 00:10:54,778
Bend! Bend!
217
00:10:54,945 --> 00:10:57,197
He loves bending,
just like me.
218
00:10:57,322 --> 00:10:58,323
Aw!
219
00:10:58,407 --> 00:11:02,077
I'm gonna call him Ben after
the first half of me, Bender.
220
00:11:02,161 --> 00:11:03,495
(BURPS)
221
00:11:03,579 --> 00:11:05,038
That's my bastard.
222
00:11:20,137 --> 00:11:21,555
(PANTING)
223
00:11:23,265 --> 00:11:24,266
(GRUNTS)
224
00:11:26,852 --> 00:11:28,103
(ALARM RINGING)
225
00:11:28,896 --> 00:11:29,897
(GIGGLES)
226
00:11:30,939 --> 00:11:32,149
(BOTH LAUGHING)
227
00:11:36,945 --> 00:11:39,865
Bend it, Daddy! Bend it like
it called you poo-poo-face!
228
00:11:40,157 --> 00:11:41,241
It called me what?
229
00:11:41,325 --> 00:11:42,743
(INTENSE GRUNTING)
230
00:11:44,036 --> 00:11:46,288
Yay! You bended it
like a pretzel.
231
00:11:47,956 --> 00:11:49,791
Okay, now you.
232
00:11:50,626 --> 00:11:52,127
(GRUNTS)
233
00:11:54,796 --> 00:11:56,465
I can't do it!
234
00:11:56,757 --> 00:11:59,384
Hey, buddy, you're learning.
You'll get there.
235
00:11:59,885 --> 00:12:01,053
Bender, I was wrong.
236
00:12:01,136 --> 00:12:03,055
You're a fine parent,
and I want to...
237
00:12:03,138 --> 00:12:04,806
Leela was wrong!
Leela was wrong!
238
00:12:04,973 --> 00:12:06,558
Leela was wrong!
Leela was wrong!
239
00:12:06,642 --> 00:12:07,643
(BOTH LAUGHING)
240
00:12:08,977 --> 00:12:11,313
Daddy, how'd you get
so good at bending?
241
00:12:11,813 --> 00:12:14,316
I inherited my arm control
software from my mom.
242
00:12:14,608 --> 00:12:16,735
That's how it's passed down,
mother to son.
243
00:12:17,027 --> 00:12:19,154
But my mommy had no arms!
244
00:12:19,696 --> 00:12:21,990
Does that mean
I can never be a bender?
245
00:12:22,282 --> 00:12:23,575
Well, sure you can!
You just need
246
00:12:23,659 --> 00:12:25,160
to get a
bending card installed.
247
00:12:26,119 --> 00:12:29,498
I hate to crush a boy's
dreams, but what the heck.
248
00:12:29,873 --> 00:12:34,169
He has only one expansion
slot, and it holds his memory card.
249
00:12:34,670 --> 00:12:37,089
This robot will never bend.
250
00:12:37,839 --> 00:12:40,759
Don't tell my son
what he can and can't do!
251
00:12:41,218 --> 00:12:42,594
You may know
what's in his head,
252
00:12:42,678 --> 00:12:44,346
but you don't know
what's in his heart!
253
00:12:45,347 --> 00:12:47,266
There's no slot
in there, either.
254
00:12:47,349 --> 00:12:48,350
I said shut up!
255
00:12:54,523 --> 00:12:59,528
Today marks young Ben's 13th
day of being left on continuously.
256
00:13:00,195 --> 00:13:04,157
And so, before the Lord
and this congregation,
257
00:13:04,616 --> 00:13:09,162
we upgrade him to man-bot.
Can I get a Mazel tov?
258
00:13:09,663 --> 00:13:10,831
ALL: Mazel tov!
259
00:13:10,914 --> 00:13:11,957
Mazel tov!
260
00:13:12,541 --> 00:13:15,085
I'd like to thank the
preacher-bot for the introduction
261
00:13:15,294 --> 00:13:18,338
and also for not circumcising
me again, am I right?
262
00:13:18,422 --> 00:13:19,798
(ALL CHUCKLING)
263
00:13:20,215 --> 00:13:24,886
Twice was enough. But seriously,
today, I'm not just a man-bot,
264
00:13:25,137 --> 00:13:27,389
I'm the luckiest
man-bot alive.
265
00:13:27,931 --> 00:13:29,558
My mom may have
abandoned me,
266
00:13:29,891 --> 00:13:32,686
but I have the greatest dad
in the whole universe.
267
00:13:33,478 --> 00:13:36,523
He's patient, he's not
afraid to show his emotions...
268
00:13:37,149 --> 00:13:38,191
Don't look at me!
269
00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:40,902
...and someday,
if my dreams come true,
270
00:13:41,153 --> 00:13:43,030
I'll be a bender,
just like him.
271
00:13:43,947 --> 00:13:45,907
You must be
so proud of your boy.
272
00:13:46,825 --> 00:13:48,201
I could take him
or leave him.
273
00:13:50,370 --> 00:13:51,913
I'm back for my son!
274
00:13:52,164 --> 00:13:54,499
I've come to take him
and leave with him!
275
00:13:54,583 --> 00:13:55,584
(GASPING)
276
00:13:56,001 --> 00:13:57,753
She beat you
to both things!
277
00:14:03,258 --> 00:14:05,844
It's okay, Son,
Mama's here now.
278
00:14:06,094 --> 00:14:08,221
Daddy!
Don't let her take me!
279
00:14:08,430 --> 00:14:10,515
Get your lack of
hands off my boy!
280
00:14:10,807 --> 00:14:13,310
You're an unfit parent
who abandoned her child!
281
00:14:13,435 --> 00:14:16,772
Oh, yeah? Well, I'm
still less unfitter than you.
282
00:14:16,855 --> 00:14:17,939
Says who?
283
00:14:18,023 --> 00:14:21,360
Says this document you gave me
when you tried to abandon Ben first!
284
00:14:21,443 --> 00:14:22,736
(GRUNTS)
285
00:14:24,946 --> 00:14:26,031
It's genuine.
286
00:14:26,114 --> 00:14:27,115
(ALL GASPING)
287
00:14:27,407 --> 00:14:29,493
That doesn't prove
I'm an unfit parent!
288
00:14:29,576 --> 00:14:31,620
I was drunk and violent
when I signed that!
289
00:14:31,787 --> 00:14:34,956
Well, I'm drunk and violent
now. He's coming with me!
290
00:14:35,415 --> 00:14:37,459
Daddy! (CRYING)
291
00:14:37,793 --> 00:14:40,796
Son!
292
00:14:44,299 --> 00:14:47,552
My boy's gone. All I
have left to remember him
293
00:14:47,636 --> 00:14:49,888
are these innocent playthings
we stole together.
294
00:14:49,971 --> 00:14:51,139
(CHITTERS)
295
00:14:52,307 --> 00:14:54,684
Fry, put these
someplace safe.
296
00:14:55,185 --> 00:14:56,645
(MONKEY SQUEALS)
297
00:14:56,728 --> 00:14:58,605
(SOBBING)
298
00:14:58,814 --> 00:15:01,233
That's it, Fry! For a
guy who's not too bright,
299
00:15:01,483 --> 00:15:02,692
you're too damn bright!
300
00:15:02,901 --> 00:15:04,945
Now, get out!
And don't come back
301
00:15:05,028 --> 00:15:08,115
until someone finds a use
for a million-watt idiot!
302
00:15:10,575 --> 00:15:12,494
(SOBBING)
303
00:15:19,876 --> 00:15:22,170
Mom, will I ever
get to see Dad again?
304
00:15:22,421 --> 00:15:25,799
No, he died yesterday.
Rust monsters ate his face.
305
00:15:26,174 --> 00:15:27,384
Sweet dreams!
306
00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:33,140
(WHIMPERING)
307
00:15:34,516 --> 00:15:36,393
(KNOCKING) Psst!
308
00:15:36,476 --> 00:15:38,437
Quit whimpering
or you don't get kidnapped.
309
00:15:38,687 --> 00:15:39,729
Dad!
310
00:15:41,314 --> 00:15:42,858
(WHIMPERING)
Ah!
311
00:15:43,525 --> 00:15:45,026
Come on.
Let's run for it.
312
00:15:45,110 --> 00:15:46,445
(BOTH PANTING)
313
00:15:55,954 --> 00:15:57,497
What's going to
happen to us now, Dad?
314
00:15:57,664 --> 00:16:00,709
Well, I reckon we'll just sit
around this campfire a while.
315
00:16:00,792 --> 00:16:01,877
But then what?
316
00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:05,172
Only a fool plans more than
a few centuries ahead, Son.
317
00:16:05,881 --> 00:16:06,882
(BOTH GASP)
318
00:16:07,048 --> 00:16:08,758
URL: Freeze, tin woodsman!
319
00:16:09,050 --> 00:16:10,635
SMITTY: You're under
arrest for kidnapping
320
00:16:10,719 --> 00:16:13,096
and burning raccoons
without a permit!
321
00:16:22,981 --> 00:16:24,107
It's over, Dad.
322
00:16:24,191 --> 00:16:25,192
It ain't over!
323
00:16:25,358 --> 00:16:28,737
I can't outrun a hover-copter,
but I can out-bend it!
324
00:16:28,820 --> 00:16:30,071
(GRUNTS)
325
00:16:32,908 --> 00:16:33,909
(STRAINING)
326
00:16:37,245 --> 00:16:38,288
(SCREAMS)
327
00:16:40,415 --> 00:16:42,209
I know!
Let's outrun it!
328
00:16:46,546 --> 00:16:48,548
There's a dam!
Damn!
329
00:16:48,632 --> 00:16:49,633
There's a grate!
330
00:16:49,799 --> 00:16:51,718
Great!
But I can't bend anything
331
00:16:51,801 --> 00:16:54,596
with my arms agonizingly
maimed like this.
332
00:16:54,721 --> 00:16:56,181
Well, maybe I can!
333
00:16:56,264 --> 00:16:57,390
(EXAGGERATED GASP)
334
00:16:57,474 --> 00:16:58,475
(GRUNTS)
335
00:17:01,895 --> 00:17:03,355
You can do it, Son.
336
00:17:03,438 --> 00:17:04,731
(GRUNTS)
337
00:17:13,532 --> 00:17:14,741
Yeah, this ain't
gonna happen.
338
00:17:16,826 --> 00:17:18,203
Is that even necessary?
339
00:17:21,456 --> 00:17:22,707
I'm sorry, Daddy.
340
00:17:22,874 --> 00:17:24,668
You got nothing
to be sorry about.
341
00:17:25,126 --> 00:17:26,836
He's really
a very good father.
342
00:17:28,797 --> 00:17:32,175
All right, I got her statement.
And a straight up grape soda.
343
00:17:33,176 --> 00:17:34,302
Aw, yeah.
344
00:17:34,803 --> 00:17:36,888
I promise things
will be different, Son.
345
00:17:37,222 --> 00:17:39,891
From now on, I'm
chaining you to a radiator.
346
00:17:40,433 --> 00:17:43,270
I'm amazed someone who
dispenses such warm soda
347
00:17:43,353 --> 00:17:44,854
could be so coldhearted!
348
00:17:45,146 --> 00:17:47,524
I'm gonna buy a drink just
so I can throw it in your face!
349
00:17:50,652 --> 00:17:51,653
(GASPS)
350
00:17:51,736 --> 00:17:53,071
It's another soda baby!
351
00:17:53,154 --> 00:17:54,281
(ALL GASPING)
352
00:17:55,156 --> 00:17:56,283
Damn.
353
00:17:58,827 --> 00:18:00,829
You got knocked up
by a police officer
354
00:18:00,912 --> 00:18:03,123
while he was looking
for your kidnapped child?
355
00:18:03,456 --> 00:18:05,709
Sure did! I still got it.
356
00:18:05,875 --> 00:18:06,918
So, now what happens?
357
00:18:07,210 --> 00:18:09,045
Tell you what,
you keep the big one.
358
00:18:09,337 --> 00:18:12,090
Long as I got a baby
to neglect, I'm happy.
359
00:18:12,549 --> 00:18:14,092
Should we call
child services?
360
00:18:14,259 --> 00:18:15,677
No, let's just
get outta here.
361
00:18:19,472 --> 00:18:21,099
Whoo-hoo!
362
00:18:21,182 --> 00:18:23,560
Whoo! Whoo-hoo-hoo!
363
00:18:25,854 --> 00:18:26,896
Whoo?
364
00:18:26,980 --> 00:18:28,064
Sorry, Dad.
365
00:18:28,189 --> 00:18:29,399
I'm glad to be back.
366
00:18:29,524 --> 00:18:31,735
I'm just kind of bummed
I can't bend stuff.
367
00:18:31,943 --> 00:18:35,405
All I ever wanted was to go
to Bending State-Santa Cruz.
368
00:18:35,572 --> 00:18:37,032
But that's never
gonna happen.
369
00:18:37,949 --> 00:18:41,369
Listen, you need something
bent, you come to me, huh, champ?
370
00:18:47,876 --> 00:18:50,003
Damn it, I love that
little guy so much!
371
00:18:50,253 --> 00:18:51,755
I'd sacrifice
any four of you
372
00:18:51,838 --> 00:18:53,673
if it would help him
bend even a little!
373
00:18:53,965 --> 00:18:57,802
There is one way,
but no, it's too horrible.
374
00:18:58,136 --> 00:19:00,055
Nothing's too horrible
for my boy!
375
00:19:00,430 --> 00:19:03,808
Well, I could
install a bending card.
376
00:19:04,267 --> 00:19:05,810
But you said
he only has one slot!
377
00:19:06,102 --> 00:19:08,605
Correct. I'd have to
remove his memory card.
378
00:19:08,897 --> 00:19:11,775
He'd be able to bend, but
he'd lose all his memories.
379
00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:14,986
He wouldn't even
remember who you are.
380
00:19:19,574 --> 00:19:20,784
(GRUNTS)
381
00:19:28,917 --> 00:19:30,794
You sure you want
to be a bender, Son?
382
00:19:31,044 --> 00:19:32,420
More than anything.
383
00:19:34,506 --> 00:19:36,800
Just remember,
your daddy loves you.
384
00:19:37,300 --> 00:19:40,428
Remember that, will
you, Son? Remember that.
385
00:19:40,637 --> 00:19:41,638
(SOBS)
386
00:19:42,097 --> 00:19:43,848
Dad, are you crying?
387
00:19:45,517 --> 00:19:48,770
No! I said with the mouth
you're looking at.
388
00:19:55,944 --> 00:19:57,487
(GRUNTS)
389
00:19:59,614 --> 00:20:00,615
(WHISTLES)
390
00:20:00,740 --> 00:20:02,617
You sure take
after your old man!
391
00:20:03,159 --> 00:20:04,452
I never knew my father.
392
00:20:04,953 --> 00:20:05,954
(SQUEAKS)
393
00:20:06,037 --> 00:20:07,288
It's not important.
394
00:20:07,455 --> 00:20:09,290
What is important
is that we get you
395
00:20:09,416 --> 00:20:11,918
to Bending State-Santa Cruz
in time for registration.
396
00:20:12,252 --> 00:20:15,171
Then we'd better hurry.
Registration ends in one hour.
397
00:20:15,380 --> 00:20:16,423
To the ship!
398
00:20:20,885 --> 00:20:22,137
It's too foggy.
399
00:20:22,345 --> 00:20:24,180
We can't navigate
through this storm.
400
00:20:24,389 --> 00:20:25,682
Our lights
aren't bright enough.
401
00:20:26,307 --> 00:20:27,934
I'm sorry
I let you down, Son.
402
00:20:28,017 --> 00:20:29,310
Who are you again?
403
00:20:29,477 --> 00:20:32,480
It's just not possible to get
you to bending school this year.
404
00:20:33,022 --> 00:20:34,983
Or is there?
405
00:20:45,827 --> 00:20:46,995
(ALL CHEERING)
406
00:20:47,078 --> 00:20:48,788
All right, Fry!
407
00:20:49,080 --> 00:20:52,083
Merry college
registration day, everyone!
408
00:20:52,876 --> 00:20:54,043
(SCREAMING)
409
00:20:55,670 --> 00:20:57,046
(BOTH LAUGHING)
410
00:21:03,178 --> 00:21:04,721
(SCREAMS)
28706
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