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1
00:00:04,337 --> 00:00:06,171
- Morning, roomie.
- Hey!
2
00:00:06,339 --> 00:00:08,882
You remembered
to put clothes on this morning.
3
00:00:10,468 --> 00:00:12,678
- Fifth day's the charm.
- Oh.
4
00:00:13,054 --> 00:00:18,434
It's so great to be back here. You're
making it so easy on me and Emma.
5
00:00:18,601 --> 00:00:21,520
It's great having you back.
Stay as long as you want.
6
00:00:21,688 --> 00:00:24,398
And when does she stop
crying all night?
7
00:00:27,444 --> 00:00:31,238
Hey! You're not naked. Heh.
8
00:00:31,406 --> 00:00:33,991
So, hey, Rach, when will we expect
to see you tonight?
9
00:00:34,159 --> 00:00:37,953
I'll probably be back around 6.
But she's in the bedroom, all ready to go.
10
00:00:38,121 --> 00:00:39,955
But she did fall back to sleep, so...
11
00:00:40,123 --> 00:00:44,209
She's probably exhausted from all that
adorable screaming she did last night.
12
00:00:44,544 --> 00:00:45,878
- Bye.
ROSS: Bye.
13
00:00:46,463 --> 00:00:49,298
Hey, I hope Emma isn't making it
too hard on you.
14
00:00:49,466 --> 00:00:50,716
No, hey, it's been great.
15
00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:51,925
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
16
00:00:52,093 --> 00:00:54,595
I want you to know that
with Rachel staying here...
17
00:00:54,763 --> 00:00:57,931
...all my feelings from before
are totally over.
18
00:00:58,099 --> 00:00:59,433
And even if they weren't...
19
00:00:59,601 --> 00:01:02,186
...when you walk in
on a woman using a breast pump...
20
00:01:02,353 --> 00:01:04,563
- Yeah, that'll do it.
- Wow.
21
00:01:05,398 --> 00:01:07,483
So how are you?
22
00:01:07,650 --> 00:01:09,651
- I'm okay.
- Really?
23
00:01:09,819 --> 00:01:13,947
Sure. I mean, do I wish me and Rachel
living together would have worked out?
24
00:01:14,115 --> 00:01:17,951
Of course. You know, I'm disappointed,
but it's not like it's a divorce.
25
00:01:19,579 --> 00:01:22,664
- Well, actually it...
- It's not a divorce. It is not a divorce!
26
00:01:25,001 --> 00:01:27,878
Anyway, I think Rachel and I
need to get on with our lives.
27
00:01:28,046 --> 00:01:30,380
Maybe start seeing other people.
28
00:01:31,299 --> 00:01:33,133
Wow. Really?
29
00:01:33,301 --> 00:01:36,595
Sure, why not? In fact, if you know
anyone that'd be good for me?
30
00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:40,015
- Sure. I know lots of girls.
- Yeah? Any names come to mind?
31
00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:42,434
Ooh. Names?
32
00:02:25,228 --> 00:02:26,478
- Hey.
- Hey.
33
00:02:26,646 --> 00:02:29,606
- I was just gonna eat. Want something?
- What you got?
34
00:02:29,774 --> 00:02:33,402
Okay, let's see, we got strained peas,
strained carrots...
35
00:02:33,570 --> 00:02:36,155
...ooh, strained plums.
We haven't tried that yet.
36
00:02:36,322 --> 00:02:37,614
Goody!
37
00:02:38,324 --> 00:02:40,742
Thanks. Ha, ha.
38
00:02:41,286 --> 00:02:43,996
So how is it living with Rachel again?
39
00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:46,665
- I mean, apart from the great food?
- Ha, ha.
40
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:48,834
I'm fine, I'm fine. It's just...
41
00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:51,503
It's just weird what's happening
with her and Ross.
42
00:02:51,671 --> 00:02:54,089
Yesterday he asked me to fix him up
with somebody.
43
00:02:54,257 --> 00:02:56,800
Rachel asked me
if I knew anyone for her too.
44
00:02:56,968 --> 00:02:59,052
- Why are they doing this?
- I don't know.
45
00:02:59,220 --> 00:03:01,597
They're so perfect for each other.
It's crazy.
46
00:03:01,764 --> 00:03:03,807
You know what's crazy? These jars.
47
00:03:03,975 --> 00:03:06,476
What is there, like, two bites in here?
48
00:03:09,981 --> 00:03:12,482
I just wish they'd realize
they should be together.
49
00:03:12,650 --> 00:03:16,236
When they moved in together, I figured
that's where things were headed.
50
00:03:16,404 --> 00:03:19,656
They should be a family. They should
marry and have more children.
51
00:03:19,824 --> 00:03:22,534
Yes. And they should name
one of their kids Joey.
52
00:03:24,370 --> 00:03:27,831
I may not have kids. Someone's
gotta carry on the family name.
53
00:03:30,126 --> 00:03:33,754
You know what? Maybe once they
start dating and see what's out there...
54
00:03:33,922 --> 00:03:36,506
...they'll realize how good
they are for each other.
55
00:03:36,674 --> 00:03:39,593
Yeah, because it is slim pickings.
56
00:03:39,761 --> 00:03:42,554
- I had this date last night. Yuck!
- Mm.
57
00:03:42,722 --> 00:03:45,849
But we should probably keep it down,
she's still in the bedroom.
58
00:03:48,019 --> 00:03:51,647
So, what are we gonna do? Are we
just gonna set them up with people?
59
00:03:51,814 --> 00:03:55,651
I know, that just pushes them
further and further apart.
60
00:03:55,818 --> 00:03:59,446
I know what we can do. We could set
Ross and Rachel up on horrible dates...
61
00:03:59,614 --> 00:04:02,032
...so they'll realize
how good they are together.
62
00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:04,368
- Ooh, that's a great plan.
- Yeah.
63
00:04:04,535 --> 00:04:07,246
You know what the best part of it is?
I get to do my plan laugh:
64
00:04:07,413 --> 00:04:09,498
[LAUGHS MANIACALLY]
65
00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:12,626
[BOTH LAUGH MANIACALLY]
66
00:04:14,003 --> 00:04:18,465
Okay. Shh, shh. Not so loud.
We don't wanna wake up, uh...
67
00:04:31,354 --> 00:04:34,648
Hi. You guys aren't
doing anything tonight, are you?
68
00:04:34,816 --> 00:04:38,360
See, now, why would you assume that?
Just because we're married?
69
00:04:38,528 --> 00:04:42,739
I mean, I will have you know
that we are very hip, happening people.
70
00:04:43,533 --> 00:04:47,286
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to
get back to reading the obituaries.
71
00:04:48,413 --> 00:04:51,415
I was just asking because I need
someone to watch Emma tonight.
72
00:04:51,582 --> 00:04:53,375
Sure we'll do it.
What are you up to?
73
00:04:53,543 --> 00:04:55,085
Well, Phoebe set me up on a date.
74
00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:56,670
- Oh, my God.
- Wow.
75
00:04:56,838 --> 00:05:00,841
- Why? What's the big deal?
- I figured because you and Ross are...
76
00:05:01,009 --> 00:05:04,428
What? Slept together a year
and a half ago? Yeah, I'm all set.
77
00:05:06,806 --> 00:05:09,850
I think it's great you're going on a date.
It sounds healthy.
78
00:05:10,018 --> 00:05:13,353
I mean, you have needs.
Embrace your womanhood.
79
00:05:14,397 --> 00:05:17,858
You want a job? Turn off Oprah
and send out a résumé.
80
00:05:20,278 --> 00:05:23,322
- I'll bring her by around 7, okay?
- That's perfect.
81
00:05:23,489 --> 00:05:26,533
You guys are gonna have so much fun.
She's at such a cute age.
82
00:05:26,701 --> 00:05:30,245
A couple things. Now that she eats
solid food, she poops around the clock.
83
00:05:30,413 --> 00:05:33,332
And watch out for your hair
because she likes to grab it.
84
00:05:33,499 --> 00:05:37,961
She's also in this phase where if you
leave the room, she screams, but, oh...
85
00:05:38,129 --> 00:05:39,963
...thanks, you guys. Have fun.
86
00:05:42,467 --> 00:05:46,303
Suddenly I wish I was reading
my own name.
87
00:05:49,098 --> 00:05:51,808
- Ooh, Joey, hey. I'm so excited.
- Hey.
88
00:05:51,976 --> 00:05:55,812
- I just set Rachel up with the worst guy.
- All right. Who is he?
89
00:05:55,980 --> 00:05:58,231
It's this guy I used to massage.
By "massage"...
90
00:05:58,399 --> 00:06:01,401
...I mean hold down so he wouldn't
turn over and flash me.
91
00:06:02,737 --> 00:06:04,154
Okay, okay.
92
00:06:04,322 --> 00:06:06,990
- Wait till you hear who I got for Ross.
- Oh, yeah.
93
00:06:07,158 --> 00:06:11,495
She's this really boring woman.
She's a teacher.
94
00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:16,333
- A teacher?
- She's into history and foreign movies.
95
00:06:16,501 --> 00:06:19,044
Oh, oh. And she loves puzzles. Huh?
96
00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:22,422
Come on, who loves puzzles?
97
00:06:22,590 --> 00:06:25,050
Well, Ross does.
98
00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:27,928
You're ruining the plan!
99
00:06:28,096 --> 00:06:31,181
Joey, you fixed him up
with his perfect woman.
100
00:06:31,349 --> 00:06:33,308
- Oh, my God, you're right!
- Yeah.
101
00:06:33,476 --> 00:06:36,228
- She even reads for pleasure!
- Ugh.
102
00:06:36,896 --> 00:06:37,938
[JOEY SCOFFS]
103
00:06:38,106 --> 00:06:41,775
- How do you know a woman like that?
- I'm not allowed to know smart women?
104
00:06:41,943 --> 00:06:45,695
- Joey?
- I met her at the library. I went in to pee.
105
00:06:48,032 --> 00:06:50,784
- So now what do we do?
- Well, okay.
106
00:06:50,952 --> 00:06:54,788
I'll call her and tell her the date's
canceled and find him somebody else.
107
00:06:56,457 --> 00:07:00,085
What if we don't find him somebody
else? We'll just tell her the date's off...
108
00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:03,547
...but we don't tell Ross. He goes
to the restaurant and gets stood up.
109
00:07:03,756 --> 00:07:05,132
Ooh!
110
00:07:05,299 --> 00:07:06,716
Ooh, I hear that's bad.
111
00:07:08,511 --> 00:07:11,638
Ooh, so this is great. Rachel's
gonna have a terrible date...
112
00:07:11,806 --> 00:07:15,642
...Ross gets stood up, and then they'll
realize how good they have it together.
113
00:07:15,810 --> 00:07:17,185
Ah, yes, the plan.
114
00:07:17,353 --> 00:07:19,646
Ho-ho-ho.
115
00:07:20,940 --> 00:07:22,399
It's not Santa's plan.
116
00:07:25,319 --> 00:07:26,361
No, it's:
117
00:07:26,529 --> 00:07:28,280
[LAUGHS MANIACALLY]
118
00:07:28,656 --> 00:07:31,908
[BOTH LAUGHING MANIACALLY]
119
00:07:32,243 --> 00:07:36,079
- Yeah, you know, it's not that fun.
- No, I think we killed it.
120
00:07:39,584 --> 00:07:41,084
Emma? Emma, look at me.
121
00:07:41,586 --> 00:07:45,589
Well, I think I'll go downstairs
for a while.
122
00:07:49,093 --> 00:07:52,095
[CRYING]
123
00:07:52,430 --> 00:07:55,223
No, no, no. No, no, no.
It's okay. It's okay. I didn't go.
124
00:07:55,391 --> 00:07:57,642
Don't cry, it's just a bit.
125
00:07:57,810 --> 00:08:00,854
I'm your Uncle Chandler.
Funny is all I have!
126
00:08:02,106 --> 00:08:06,109
Okay, just so you know, I'm gonna be
ovulating from tomorrow until the 6th.
127
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:09,446
So don't touch yourself
for the next 48 hours.
128
00:08:10,615 --> 00:08:12,657
I don't do that.
129
00:08:12,825 --> 00:08:14,201
I'll try to stop.
130
00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:18,163
- Wait, did you say until the 6th?
- Yeah.
131
00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:19,915
Today is the 6th.
132
00:08:20,082 --> 00:08:22,751
No, it's not. Look.
133
00:08:23,085 --> 00:08:25,795
Yes, it's also 2003.
134
00:08:26,297 --> 00:08:28,840
Oh, my God. Today's the 6th?
135
00:08:29,008 --> 00:08:30,842
I may be done ovulating!
136
00:08:31,010 --> 00:08:35,263
I may have also served some very
questionable meat at the restaurant.
137
00:08:35,723 --> 00:08:38,600
- Go take the test, see if we're okay.
- Okay.
138
00:08:38,768 --> 00:08:41,061
[GIBBERING]
139
00:08:45,691 --> 00:08:47,400
Tough crib.
140
00:08:48,152 --> 00:08:52,155
Hey, where are all my ovulation sticks?
There's only one here.
141
00:08:54,492 --> 00:08:58,161
I might have checked to see
if I was ovulating a couple times.
142
00:08:59,956 --> 00:09:00,997
Chandler.
143
00:09:01,165 --> 00:09:04,167
I am not working! There's not much
to do around here!
144
00:09:17,181 --> 00:09:19,266
Excuse me. Um... Heh.
145
00:09:19,433 --> 00:09:22,644
Is there a woman waiting at the bar?
146
00:09:22,853 --> 00:09:27,566
Um, someone average height, dark hair?
Or perhaps doing a puzzle?
147
00:09:27,733 --> 00:09:30,735
Uh, there's a drunk Chinese guy.
148
00:09:32,029 --> 00:09:35,365
Well, if I'm still here in an hour,
buy him a drink on me.
149
00:09:35,658 --> 00:09:38,410
Um, can I get you another glass of wine?
150
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:41,580
I don't know if I should.
I don't wanna be drunk when I...
151
00:09:41,747 --> 00:09:43,873
...go home alone tonight.
152
00:09:45,126 --> 00:09:49,087
- Got stood up, huh?
- Eh, it's no big deal. It's just a blind date.
153
00:09:49,255 --> 00:09:51,840
Are you worried your date came,
saw you and left?
154
00:09:54,093 --> 00:09:55,427
No!
155
00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:01,641
We're okay. I'm still ovulating.
156
00:10:01,809 --> 00:10:06,229
Oh, good, because as of 4:00
this afternoon, I am not.
157
00:10:07,481 --> 00:10:08,815
So let's do this.
158
00:10:10,526 --> 00:10:12,944
- I don't think I can.
- Oh, come on.
159
00:10:13,112 --> 00:10:15,572
I know you're not 18 anymore,
but give it a minute.
160
00:10:18,034 --> 00:10:21,202
- Because of Emma.
- Oh, my God, Emma.
161
00:10:21,370 --> 00:10:23,246
Oh, sweetie, I forgot you were here.
162
00:10:23,414 --> 00:10:24,456
[EMMA COOS]
163
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:27,208
Oh, you're right, we can't do this.
We can't leave her alone.
164
00:10:27,376 --> 00:10:29,294
Sorry.
165
00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:31,463
Unless...
166
00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:34,049
...maybe we do it here.
167
00:10:34,216 --> 00:10:37,052
I mean, how much can she even
be aware of at this age?
168
00:10:37,219 --> 00:10:41,431
Well, she's aware when we leave a room.
She may notice if we start...
169
00:10:41,599 --> 00:10:43,391
...canoodling in it.
170
00:10:45,019 --> 00:10:47,520
- "Canoodling"?
- Well, I can't say "hump" or "screw"...
171
00:10:47,688 --> 00:10:49,773
...in front of the B-A-B-Y.
172
00:10:51,609 --> 00:10:54,361
I don't know,
I guess having sex in front of a baby...
173
00:10:54,528 --> 00:10:57,906
...isn't so...
- Horrifying? Scarring?
174
00:10:58,074 --> 00:11:00,533
Something people go to jail for?
175
00:11:02,620 --> 00:11:04,245
- I guess you're right.
- You guess?
176
00:11:04,413 --> 00:11:06,706
At that bed-and-breakfast,
we didn't have sex...
177
00:11:06,874 --> 00:11:10,043
...because you thought a deer
was staring through the window.
178
00:11:10,211 --> 00:11:14,005
Well, what kind of a sick bastard
wants to do it in front of a deer?
179
00:11:19,887 --> 00:11:23,890
Wow, everything looks so good.
180
00:11:24,058 --> 00:11:26,476
I think I'm gonna have the chicken.
181
00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:32,399
I just have to say this.
182
00:11:32,566 --> 00:11:36,903
- You're really beautiful.
- Oh. Wow, that's very sweet. Thank you.
183
00:11:37,071 --> 00:11:38,822
[CHUCKLES]
184
00:11:38,989 --> 00:11:41,074
I'm kind of funny-looking.
185
00:11:42,993 --> 00:11:44,911
- What?
- Look, I mean, come on...
186
00:11:45,079 --> 00:11:49,040
...you're way out of my league.
Everybody in here knows it.
187
00:11:49,208 --> 00:11:51,376
I bet that guy over there
is probably saying:
188
00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:54,421
"Ooh, why's she out with him?
He must be rich."
189
00:11:56,465 --> 00:11:58,425
Well, I'm not.
190
00:11:59,677 --> 00:12:03,179
What do you think you want to order?
I'm real excited about that chicken.
191
00:12:03,347 --> 00:12:04,848
I'm not funny, either.
192
00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:10,019
So if you were thinking,
"Well, he's not that good-looking...
193
00:12:10,187 --> 00:12:14,315
...but maybe we'll have some laughs,"
that ain't gonna happen.
194
00:12:15,693 --> 00:12:20,196
Well, come on, Steve, let's not rule out
nervous laughter. Ha-ha-ha.
195
00:12:22,199 --> 00:12:25,160
Hey, now, wait a minute,
Phoebe told me...
196
00:12:25,327 --> 00:12:28,455
...that you owned
your own restaurant. That's impressive.
197
00:12:28,622 --> 00:12:32,333
I lost it to drugs.
198
00:12:37,214 --> 00:12:39,382
I silk-screen T-shirts now.
199
00:12:39,550 --> 00:12:43,136
Really? What's that like?
200
00:12:43,304 --> 00:12:47,182
It's really fulfilling doing something
you hate for no money.
201
00:12:48,684 --> 00:12:52,353
That's right. I have no money,
I'm not funny...
202
00:12:52,521 --> 00:12:58,067
...I live in a studio apartment
with two other guys.
203
00:12:58,235 --> 00:13:02,822
And I'm pretty sure I'm infertile.
204
00:13:06,744 --> 00:13:08,703
Now, come on. Come on, Steve.
205
00:13:08,871 --> 00:13:12,207
There must be something
that you like about yourself.
206
00:13:13,959 --> 00:13:16,336
I do like my hair.
207
00:13:18,339 --> 00:13:20,131
Really?
208
00:13:22,092 --> 00:13:24,093
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
209
00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:29,641
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
210
00:13:31,185 --> 00:13:33,853
- Hello?
- Phoebe, it's me!
211
00:13:34,522 --> 00:13:38,316
I'm going to hunt you down
and kill you.
212
00:13:40,069 --> 00:13:41,277
Hey, Rach.
213
00:13:43,197 --> 00:13:46,991
This is the worst date ever! How could
you set me up with this creep?
214
00:13:47,159 --> 00:13:50,370
You know, you are talking about
one of my dear, dear friends.
215
00:13:50,538 --> 00:13:53,414
I don't care. This guy is a nightmare.
216
00:13:53,582 --> 00:13:56,292
All right, so he gets a little crazy
when he's stoned.
217
00:13:58,754 --> 00:14:01,589
- He's not stoned.
- Did he go out for a cigarette?
218
00:14:02,341 --> 00:14:05,093
- Yeah. Four times.
- My dear, sweet Rach.
219
00:14:05,261 --> 00:14:06,553
Oh.
220
00:14:07,346 --> 00:14:11,850
Well, our plan is working.
Rachel's having a miserable time...
221
00:14:12,017 --> 00:14:15,061
...and Ross is just stood up somewhere
at a restaurant all alone.
222
00:14:15,229 --> 00:14:17,272
Great. Pretty soon
they'll be back together.
223
00:14:17,439 --> 00:14:21,985
By the time anyone's figured out what
we've done, we'll be in sunny Mexico.
224
00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:26,781
Oh, wait, that's the end
of a different plan.
225
00:14:29,326 --> 00:14:31,452
[WHISPERS]
Oh, she's asleep. Chandler?
226
00:14:34,415 --> 00:14:36,916
- What are you doing?
- Emma was doing it.
227
00:14:38,627 --> 00:14:39,836
She's asleep.
228
00:14:40,337 --> 00:14:41,379
Ooh!
229
00:14:41,547 --> 00:14:44,799
- She's asleep. That means we can...
- Yes. But we have to be fast.
230
00:14:44,967 --> 00:14:47,677
Oh, okay, I'll try.
231
00:14:48,012 --> 00:14:51,097
- And you can't make any noise.
- Okay, I'll try.
232
00:14:56,854 --> 00:14:58,187
[WHISTLES]
233
00:14:58,355 --> 00:14:59,397
Hello?
234
00:14:59,565 --> 00:15:01,316
[EMMA CRYING]
235
00:15:02,359 --> 00:15:03,985
Emma?
236
00:15:06,322 --> 00:15:09,407
Hey! Hi!
237
00:15:10,868 --> 00:15:13,620
How are you? How are you?
238
00:15:13,787 --> 00:15:16,247
Where are your babysitters, huh?
239
00:15:17,166 --> 00:15:19,709
Why is the bedroom door closed?
240
00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:23,630
[CHANDLER & MONICA MOANING]
241
00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:30,929
You can't have S-E-X
when you're taking care of a B-A-B-I-E.
242
00:15:36,518 --> 00:15:40,772
I've got bad news. The Chinese guy left.
243
00:15:42,524 --> 00:15:45,318
Eh, if it was meant to be,
it's meant to be.
244
00:15:45,486 --> 00:15:47,445
Look, you got stood up. Who cares?
245
00:15:47,613 --> 00:15:50,531
We're gonna show you a good time.
Sit and relax.
246
00:15:50,699 --> 00:15:54,327
In fact, let me bring you
a crab-cake appetizer on the house.
247
00:15:54,995 --> 00:15:58,289
Wow, free crab cakes? Well, that's nice.
248
00:15:58,457 --> 00:16:02,418
Although I was hoping
to have sex tonight. Heh.
249
00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:04,837
Ooh.
250
00:16:08,425 --> 00:16:10,635
Just the crab cakes.
251
00:16:11,011 --> 00:16:14,514
What are you doing? Are you trying
to get him to stay? You can't do that.
252
00:16:14,682 --> 00:16:18,518
- Just get out of here, okay?
- I'm sorry, what's going on?
253
00:16:18,686 --> 00:16:22,105
Uh, okay, um, the waiters have
a little pool going.
254
00:16:22,272 --> 00:16:26,901
We have a bet on how long it'll take
before you give up and go home.
255
00:16:28,570 --> 00:16:30,488
What?
256
00:16:31,073 --> 00:16:34,158
You're making money off my misery?
257
00:16:34,326 --> 00:16:37,036
Well, if you stay till 9:20, I am.
258
00:16:37,204 --> 00:16:41,833
This is unbelievable. I have never
been so insulted in my life.
259
00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:45,753
Now, if you'll wrap up my free
crab cakes, I'll be on my way.
260
00:16:48,924 --> 00:16:53,052
Well, that was weird.
You were loud and I was fast.
261
00:16:53,220 --> 00:16:55,138
I think we may have done it this time.
262
00:16:55,305 --> 00:16:58,057
Oh, I wish I didn't have to wait
to take a pregnancy test.
263
00:16:58,267 --> 00:16:59,308
[CHUCKLES]
264
00:16:59,476 --> 00:17:01,310
You may wanna get
some more of those too.
265
00:17:04,148 --> 00:17:05,481
Where's Emma?
266
00:17:05,649 --> 00:17:08,151
Oh, my God, where's Emma?
Where's Emma?
267
00:17:08,318 --> 00:17:11,529
Don't ask me.
I was in there canoodling you.
268
00:17:12,823 --> 00:17:16,117
Okay. Okay. I'm sure that Rachel
came home early and picked up Emma.
269
00:17:16,285 --> 00:17:18,661
You go look across the hall,
I'll call her cell.
270
00:17:18,829 --> 00:17:20,913
- Okay.
- You better hope we're pregnant...
271
00:17:21,081 --> 00:17:24,625
...because one way or another,
we're giving a baby back to Rachel!
272
00:17:26,587 --> 00:17:27,628
[STEVE SOBBING]
273
00:17:27,796 --> 00:17:30,757
I can't believe I'm crying
in front of you.
274
00:17:30,924 --> 00:17:32,967
You must think I'm so pathetic.
275
00:17:33,677 --> 00:17:36,512
No, no, no, I admire a man
who can cry.
276
00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:39,474
- Really?
- Don't touch my coat!
277
00:17:40,309 --> 00:17:41,350
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
278
00:17:41,685 --> 00:17:43,770
Oh. Sorry, that's my phone.
279
00:17:44,271 --> 00:17:46,564
- Hello?
- Hey, Rach, how's it going?
280
00:17:46,732 --> 00:17:49,400
Oh, my God,
this is the worst date ever.
281
00:17:49,568 --> 00:17:51,527
[WHINES]
282
00:17:51,695 --> 00:17:53,154
Oh, come on.
283
00:17:53,322 --> 00:17:57,366
Look, you know what, I'm sorry, but did
you really think that this was going well?
284
00:18:00,287 --> 00:18:02,789
- What's up?
- Hey, did you stop by here?
285
00:18:02,956 --> 00:18:06,334
- No.
- Oh, my God! Then...
286
00:18:07,836 --> 00:18:09,796
Oh, thank God! Emma, there you are!
287
00:18:12,633 --> 00:18:15,301
What? What do you mean,
"there you are"? Where was she?
288
00:18:15,886 --> 00:18:21,140
Uh, we were playing peekaboo.
She loves it when I'm dramatic. Heh.
289
00:18:24,853 --> 00:18:28,648
- Why the hell did you take her?
- Because you two were having sex!
290
00:18:30,818 --> 00:18:34,153
- No, we weren't.
- Don't you lie to me.
291
00:18:34,321 --> 00:18:38,407
I can tell by Chandler's hair. You are
so lazy. Can't you get on top for once?
292
00:18:43,789 --> 00:18:45,790
All right. All right, we were.
293
00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:48,334
We were trying to make a baby.
Monica's ovulating.
294
00:18:48,544 --> 00:18:51,712
It is unacceptable that you'd
have sex with Emma in the next room.
295
00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:55,550
- I'm gonna have to tell Rachel about this.
- No, please don't. She will kill us.
296
00:18:55,717 --> 00:18:58,261
Hey, I gotta. Unless...
297
00:18:58,470 --> 00:18:59,512
Unless what?
298
00:19:00,264 --> 00:19:02,974
Unless you name
your first-born child Joey.
299
00:19:05,477 --> 00:19:07,770
- What? Why?
- Hey, I may never have kids...
300
00:19:07,938 --> 00:19:10,523
...and somebody's gotta
carry on my family name.
301
00:19:12,484 --> 00:19:15,069
Your family name is Tribbiani.
302
00:19:23,036 --> 00:19:25,121
Oh, ha, ha. You almost had me.
303
00:19:30,711 --> 00:19:32,920
- Well, um...
- Look...
304
00:19:33,714 --> 00:19:37,091
...I think I know the answer
to this question, but...
305
00:19:38,468 --> 00:19:40,595
...would you like to make love to me?
306
00:19:46,351 --> 00:19:49,187
Really, really not.
307
00:19:50,314 --> 00:19:52,356
Ah, it's just as well.
308
00:19:52,524 --> 00:19:54,901
It doesn't work anyway.
309
00:20:03,285 --> 00:20:06,454
All right, well, that's good to know.
Good night, Steve.
310
00:20:11,835 --> 00:20:14,170
[GRUNTS]
311
00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:16,589
[SIGHS]
312
00:20:16,757 --> 00:20:19,675
- Hey, what's wrong?
- I just had a rough night.
313
00:20:19,843 --> 00:20:21,093
Oh. Crab cake?
314
00:20:21,303 --> 00:20:22,845
Ugh.
315
00:20:23,555 --> 00:20:25,348
- Well, what happened?
- Uh...
316
00:20:25,515 --> 00:20:28,434
Well, I... It's kind of weird
to talk to you about this, but...
317
00:20:28,602 --> 00:20:30,645
Monica told me you had a blind date.
318
00:20:30,812 --> 00:20:32,313
Yeah.
319
00:20:32,481 --> 00:20:33,689
- I did too.
- Oh.
320
00:20:33,857 --> 00:20:37,985
Uh, but is it technically a date
if the other person doesn't show up?
321
00:20:38,445 --> 00:20:39,487
Oh.
322
00:20:39,655 --> 00:20:43,324
Oh, no. Do you think she walked in,
saw you and left?
323
00:20:46,995 --> 00:20:49,330
Why does everyone keep saying that?
324
00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:53,584
If it makes you feel any better,
I wish my date hadn't shown up.
325
00:20:53,752 --> 00:20:56,629
- That bad?
- Well, he makes T-shirts for a living...
326
00:20:56,797 --> 00:21:01,008
...and he thought it would be
appropriate to give me...
327
00:21:01,176 --> 00:21:02,802
...this.
328
00:21:04,638 --> 00:21:07,348
"Female Body Inspector"?
329
00:21:08,475 --> 00:21:10,726
- What size is that?
- Ugh.
330
00:21:12,354 --> 00:21:13,479
Now wait a minute.
331
00:21:13,647 --> 00:21:15,982
- So they'll name their first child Joey?
- Uh-huh.
332
00:21:16,149 --> 00:21:18,859
How do I get them to name
the next one after me?
333
00:21:19,027 --> 00:21:22,822
It's easy. You just
walk in on them having sex.
334
00:21:22,990 --> 00:21:26,325
Oh, so they owe me,
like, three Phoebes.
335
00:21:26,994 --> 00:21:29,787
Oh, my God!
Look, it's Ross and Rachel!
336
00:21:29,955 --> 00:21:31,622
The plan is working!
337
00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:33,082
[LAUGHS MANIACALLY]
338
00:21:33,250 --> 00:21:35,293
Don't do the plan laugh.
339
00:21:35,711 --> 00:21:36,752
[CHUCKLES]
340
00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:39,839
The first dates we've had in months,
and they were both such disasters.
341
00:21:40,007 --> 00:21:41,674
Oh.
342
00:21:42,092 --> 00:21:44,885
Huh. You know, it is weird...
343
00:21:45,053 --> 00:21:49,515
...that Phoebe would set me up
on a date that was awful...
344
00:21:49,683 --> 00:21:54,145
...on the same night Joey set you up
on a date that didn't even show.
345
00:21:55,147 --> 00:21:57,064
Wait a minute.
346
00:21:57,691 --> 00:22:00,651
You don't think it was intentional?
347
00:22:00,819 --> 00:22:03,279
I mean, that's just stupid.
348
00:22:03,447 --> 00:22:06,615
We're geniuses. Huh?
349
00:22:06,783 --> 00:22:11,704
- Look at them! They're really bonding.
- They're falling in love all over again.
350
00:22:13,582 --> 00:22:16,083
Oh, they see us. Oh, they look mad.
351
00:22:18,045 --> 00:22:20,254
Oh, they figured it out.
They're coming. Run!
352
00:22:20,422 --> 00:22:22,548
- Where?
- Mexico!
353
00:22:28,305 --> 00:22:30,514
Can you believe they're still not here?
354
00:22:31,516 --> 00:22:34,894
I know. A double blind date
and we both get stood up.
355
00:22:35,062 --> 00:22:37,313
What are the chances?
356
00:22:37,898 --> 00:22:40,524
I know, I'm so bummed.
357
00:22:40,692 --> 00:22:43,069
Could we have
our free crab cakes now?
358
00:22:44,780 --> 00:22:47,531
- What?
- We've been stood up.
359
00:22:47,699 --> 00:22:50,785
And we want our free crab cakes.
360
00:22:50,952 --> 00:22:53,621
Guys, give it a rest.
Nobody's betting on you tonight.
361
00:22:53,789 --> 00:22:58,125
Although we do have a pool going
to see how long it takes that guy to cry.
362
00:22:59,836 --> 00:23:02,755
I have such fat hands!
363
00:23:08,970 --> 00:23:10,971
[English - US - SDH]
29202
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