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1
00:00:40,582 --> 00:00:42,583
(SLOW ROCK SONG PLAYING)
2
00:00:57,683 --> 00:00:59,225
(SIREN WAILING)
3
00:01:03,272 --> 00:01:04,439
(INDISTINCT)
4
00:01:04,523 --> 00:01:09,068
Come on! Put it to the floor!
Come on! Let's go!
5
00:01:12,322 --> 00:01:13,614
Go, go!
6
00:01:21,290 --> 00:01:23,499
MAN 1: You got this thing in second.
7
00:01:23,584 --> 00:01:25,293
MAN 2: Here we go.
8
00:01:25,794 --> 00:01:28,379
Pull over!
9
00:01:28,464 --> 00:01:29,797
Pull over.
10
00:01:29,882 --> 00:01:31,883
(MEN SCREAMING INDISTINCTLY)
11
00:01:34,303 --> 00:01:35,386
(WHISTLING)
12
00:01:37,723 --> 00:01:40,224
- Get over.
- Slow down.
13
00:01:41,351 --> 00:01:42,685
Slow down.
14
00:01:53,697 --> 00:01:55,156
Come on.
15
00:01:56,492 --> 00:01:57,617
Open up.
16
00:02:02,664 --> 00:02:06,000
Defenders of the nation,
I bid thee a fine farewell.
17
00:02:07,169 --> 00:02:09,504
MAN 2: Make a million, buddy!
18
00:02:55,259 --> 00:02:58,177
- Mike, looky there!
- (WOMAN CHUCKLING)
19
00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:00,054
Look at that.
20
00:03:00,556 --> 00:03:03,140
Look at that.
See that city out there, kid?
21
00:03:03,225 --> 00:03:05,017
One day we're gonna own that town.
22
00:03:05,269 --> 00:03:07,019
You and me.
23
00:03:07,729 --> 00:03:08,938
What do you think of that?
24
00:03:09,857 --> 00:03:11,274
(COOING)
25
00:03:11,358 --> 00:03:12,859
Smart kid.
26
00:03:13,569 --> 00:03:15,069
(CARS HONKING)
27
00:04:13,045 --> 00:04:15,671
ANNOUNCER ON PA:
Next stop, Martin Boulevard.
28
00:04:27,225 --> 00:04:28,309
Hey!
29
00:04:28,810 --> 00:04:31,103
Uncle Pat, you'd better be careful
30
00:04:31,188 --> 00:04:32,480
or you're gonna
throw that back out again.
31
00:04:32,564 --> 00:04:36,859
Don't worry, I can handle it.
So, home from the wars, huh?
32
00:04:38,987 --> 00:04:41,072
- BRIAN: How you doin'?
- Oh, I'm fine.
33
00:04:41,156 --> 00:04:43,741
Servicing all the widows
in the neighborhood now.
34
00:04:43,992 --> 00:04:45,409
BRIAN: Same ol' Uncle Pat.
35
00:04:46,995 --> 00:04:49,163
Flat beer from rusty pipes.
36
00:04:50,207 --> 00:04:52,583
If you only knew how I missed it.
37
00:04:52,668 --> 00:04:55,586
You might have changed a lot, but they
sure didn't beat the wise guy out of you.
38
00:04:55,671 --> 00:04:56,963
Not a chance of that.
39
00:04:57,047 --> 00:04:58,506
I saved the apartment for you.
40
00:04:58,590 --> 00:05:01,467
I sublet it to a couple of yuppies.
They loved your mother's furniture.
41
00:05:01,551 --> 00:05:03,678
They said it was quaint.
42
00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:06,806
I still remember the day
they came to repossess it.
43
00:05:08,558 --> 00:05:09,684
So what are you going to do now?
44
00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:15,272
- Make a million.
- (CHUCKLES)
45
00:05:15,357 --> 00:05:17,775
In the meantime,
I'll ask McDougal to give you a job.
46
00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:19,527
No way!
47
00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:21,070
It was good enough for your old man.
48
00:05:21,863 --> 00:05:23,197
So was arthritis.
49
00:05:23,365 --> 00:05:26,283
He supported a family,
just like you're gonna have to do.
50
00:05:26,368 --> 00:05:29,745
(CHUCKLING) No, not me.
I'm not falling into that trap.
51
00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:32,748
Every man wakes up one fine morning
with the wife and kids.
52
00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:35,584
"Where'd they come from?
They weren't there last time I looked."
53
00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:38,004
That's 'cause most things in life,
good and bad,
54
00:05:38,088 --> 00:05:39,964
just kind of happen to you.
55
00:05:40,966 --> 00:05:42,925
I'm gonna make things happen for me.
56
00:05:43,135 --> 00:05:44,802
Sure you will.
57
00:05:44,886 --> 00:05:46,137
That'll be a buck for the beer.
58
00:05:49,099 --> 00:05:54,520
What? Your nephew comes home
from serving his country
59
00:05:54,604 --> 00:05:56,647
and he doesn't even rate
a beer on the house?
60
00:05:56,732 --> 00:05:58,441
You don't get rich
giving things away.
61
00:05:58,525 --> 00:05:59,900
Oh! How do you get rich?
62
00:06:00,110 --> 00:06:03,362
I'm gonna give you your first lesson.
On the house.
63
00:06:03,447 --> 00:06:06,741
I've been here 25 years,
never bought a drink.
64
00:06:06,825 --> 00:06:08,242
- Right, Eddie?
- (LAUGHS)
65
00:06:08,326 --> 00:06:09,660
I can testify to that!
66
00:06:09,786 --> 00:06:13,539
In 1 969, the Mets won the World Series.
67
00:06:13,623 --> 00:06:17,960
Eddie here starts pounding on the bar,
demanding a round on the house.
68
00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:19,545
"Drinks for everybody," he says.
69
00:06:19,629 --> 00:06:21,672
Tell him what I did.
70
00:06:21,757 --> 00:06:23,799
(CHUCKLING)
He whacked me with a club.
71
00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:26,343
Almost knocked the eye out of my head.
72
00:06:26,428 --> 00:06:27,636
That's your way of making money?
73
00:06:28,180 --> 00:06:31,182
Outwork, outthink,
out scheme and out maneuver.
74
00:06:31,266 --> 00:06:33,684
You make no friends.
Trust nobody.
75
00:06:33,769 --> 00:06:35,978
You make damn sure
you're the smartest guy in the room
76
00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:38,606
whenever the subject of money
comes up.
77
00:06:39,274 --> 00:06:41,358
I don't know, Uncle Pat...
78
00:06:41,443 --> 00:06:43,486
It doesn't sound like
too much fun to me.
79
00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:46,447
Fun? You want fun,
go play at the beach.
80
00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:48,532
I think I'll try the city first.
81
00:06:48,617 --> 00:06:51,994
Here. This'll get you there in style.
82
00:06:52,079 --> 00:06:55,790
Ooh! $1 0, Uncle Pat.
83
00:06:56,792 --> 00:06:58,584
Why don't you buy Eddie
a binge on me, huh?
84
00:07:00,128 --> 00:07:02,588
Eddie, you gotta be quicker than that.
85
00:07:29,324 --> 00:07:31,450
BRIAN: I've aIways wanted to
work on Wall Street.
86
00:07:31,535 --> 00:07:33,494
I read the Journal.
l know what's going on.
87
00:07:33,870 --> 00:07:35,746
I'll do whatever it takes to succeed.
88
00:07:35,831 --> 00:07:37,248
I appreciate that, Flanagan,
89
00:07:37,332 --> 00:07:39,583
but all our professionals
have college degrees.
90
00:07:39,668 --> 00:07:40,793
I catch on pretty quick.
91
00:07:40,877 --> 00:07:42,628
MAN 1: You're wasting your time.
92
00:07:42,712 --> 00:07:43,796
We're not interested.
93
00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:48,134
MAN 2: A guy like you, advertising.
BRIAN: l have a feel for advertising.
94
00:07:48,218 --> 00:07:50,636
I can look at an ad
and tell you what's wrong with it.
95
00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:55,599
- We need solid credentials.
- A marketing degree is a prerequisite.
96
00:07:55,684 --> 00:07:56,725
MAN 3: Try the networks.
97
00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:59,603
In the Army, I spent a lot of time in
communications. I think I can help you.
98
00:07:59,688 --> 00:08:02,106
We need somebody
who can hit the ground running.
99
00:08:02,190 --> 00:08:04,525
Maybe in six or eight months, but...
100
00:08:04,609 --> 00:08:06,318
You should pursue other avenues.
101
00:08:06,403 --> 00:08:07,653
WOMAN: Maybe you should reenlist.
102
00:08:07,737 --> 00:08:11,073
I believe in positive thinking.
Never quit. Never say die.
103
00:08:11,158 --> 00:08:12,658
I want to be part of a team.
104
00:08:12,742 --> 00:08:14,243
So, what do you think?
105
00:08:15,036 --> 00:08:17,371
Your résumé's completely inadequate.
106
00:08:17,789 --> 00:08:18,914
I'm willing to start at the bottom.
107
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:21,333
- You're aiming too high.
- I'll do anything.
108
00:08:21,418 --> 00:08:23,127
You don't have experience.
109
00:08:23,211 --> 00:08:24,545
I need a job.
110
00:08:24,629 --> 00:08:25,796
We value education.
111
00:08:25,881 --> 00:08:28,340
- We require a degree.
- You should go to college.
112
00:09:01,499 --> 00:09:03,083
Bar's closed, pal.
113
00:09:03,710 --> 00:09:05,252
I'm looking for the manager.
114
00:09:05,795 --> 00:09:07,504
What's the matter?
115
00:09:07,589 --> 00:09:09,089
Find a hair in your quiche?
116
00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:13,093
No, I'm looking for a job.
117
00:09:13,178 --> 00:09:17,264
I see, you want
to put a hair in somebody else's quiche.
118
00:09:17,349 --> 00:09:19,433
- Did you get canned?
- I'm looking.
119
00:09:19,517 --> 00:09:21,894
Looking for something better.
120
00:09:22,812 --> 00:09:23,896
Coughlin's law.
121
00:09:24,439 --> 00:09:27,650
Anything else is
always something better.
122
00:09:27,984 --> 00:09:29,318
Coughlin's law?
123
00:09:29,611 --> 00:09:32,529
Douglas Coughlin, logical negativist.
124
00:09:32,614 --> 00:09:35,366
Flourished at the end of
the 20th century.
125
00:09:35,450 --> 00:09:38,369
Propounded a set of laws
that the world generally ignored...
126
00:09:38,453 --> 00:09:41,205
to its detriment. Me.
127
00:09:42,332 --> 00:09:43,958
Ever work behind a bar?
128
00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:46,460
My uncle's in the business.
129
00:09:47,295 --> 00:09:49,255
Know how to make a Red- eye, Mr...?
130
00:09:49,339 --> 00:09:53,717
Brian Flanagan.
No, I haven't had the pleasure as yet.
131
00:09:53,802 --> 00:09:56,762
How about a Vodka martini
with a Pernod float?
132
00:09:57,389 --> 00:09:59,056
I'm a fast learner.
133
00:10:00,308 --> 00:10:03,894
Could you throw
a 400- pound psychopath out the bar?
134
00:10:03,979 --> 00:10:06,021
I guess I could if I had to.
135
00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:09,441
What about a 1 00- pound ballerina
that's been speeding for three days?
136
00:10:09,526 --> 00:10:12,111
Open the door and let her pirouette out?
137
00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:16,991
These are just some of the tasks
you'll be asked to perform.
138
00:10:17,367 --> 00:10:20,536
This is the Upper East Side,
saloon capital of the world.
139
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:23,872
You're ready for the big time,
young Mr. Flanagan.
140
00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:28,168
I think I can handle it.
141
00:10:28,586 --> 00:10:30,671
(ROCK 'N' ROLL SONG PLAYING)
142
00:10:32,048 --> 00:10:33,424
WAITRESS 1: Get your act together!
143
00:10:33,508 --> 00:10:34,883
WAITRESS 2:
Vodka and Rose's, please.
144
00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:36,969
I got four people waiting for me.
145
00:10:37,053 --> 00:10:38,804
I'm not going back there
with three drinks.
146
00:10:38,888 --> 00:10:40,055
I'm coming.
147
00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:41,181
Absolut on the rocks,
148
00:10:41,266 --> 00:10:43,767
Gilbey's and tonic
and a Velvet Hammer.
149
00:10:43,852 --> 00:10:46,937
- MAN: This isn't what I ordered!
- A Molson and a Cuba Libre.
150
00:10:47,022 --> 00:10:49,648
- What was that?
- A Molson and a Cuba Libre.
151
00:10:49,733 --> 00:10:52,192
WOMAN 1: And I don't want it in spurts.
152
00:10:53,028 --> 00:10:55,237
WAITRESS 3: What is this?
Hire the handicapped week?
153
00:10:55,322 --> 00:10:58,324
If you're gonna sit in the water,
go to Coney Island.
154
00:10:58,408 --> 00:11:01,118
You want me to bite the top off this?
155
00:11:01,202 --> 00:11:02,494
This has got recipes.
156
00:11:02,579 --> 00:11:04,663
Ordering a Cuba Libre!
157
00:11:04,748 --> 00:11:06,290
WOMAN: Can I please
have a glass of water?
158
00:11:06,374 --> 00:11:07,666
He doesn't know how to make it.
159
00:11:07,751 --> 00:11:09,293
Where's my Jim Beam on the rocks?
160
00:11:09,377 --> 00:11:13,464
- It's coming. In a minute.
- I'm not leaving till I get my Cuba Libre.
161
00:11:13,548 --> 00:11:17,384
WOMAN: Can I have an Orgasm?
MAN 1: This isn't what I ordered.
162
00:11:17,969 --> 00:11:18,969
MAN 2: A white wine.
163
00:11:19,054 --> 00:11:20,679
You bitch!
164
00:11:20,764 --> 00:11:23,265
Why didn't you just tell me
it was a rum and Coke?
165
00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:24,683
MAN 1: Can I have what I ordered?
166
00:11:24,768 --> 00:11:26,143
MAN 3: A Bloody Mary.
WOMAN 2: An Angel Tit.
167
00:11:26,227 --> 00:11:27,353
A white wine.
168
00:11:27,437 --> 00:11:28,771
WOMAN 3: Pink Squirrel.
169
00:11:28,855 --> 00:11:30,397
- A Friar Tuck.
- A Ding- A- Ling.
170
00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:32,149
A white wine.
171
00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:33,776
- Pink Squirrel.
- Angel Tit.
172
00:11:33,860 --> 00:11:36,403
- Dirty Mother.
- MAN 1: Can I have what I ordered?
173
00:11:36,488 --> 00:11:40,157
All right! What was it that you ordered?
174
00:11:40,241 --> 00:11:41,658
A martini.
175
00:11:42,118 --> 00:11:43,577
What's in that?
176
00:11:57,926 --> 00:12:00,636
You get 1 0 percent from the waitresses.
177
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:01,804
I don't deserve it.
178
00:12:01,888 --> 00:12:05,724
Hey, schmuck. You get money
from girls every day?
179
00:12:05,809 --> 00:12:07,893
Listen, I'm sorry I called you a bitch.
180
00:12:07,977 --> 00:12:10,312
Why? I am a bitch.
181
00:12:12,607 --> 00:12:14,858
Got yourself a new disciple?
182
00:12:14,943 --> 00:12:16,693
Good night, my beautiful.
183
00:12:17,404 --> 00:12:19,738
Hey, frogman.
184
00:12:19,823 --> 00:12:22,783
Anyone who can get money out of her
is a major talent.
185
00:12:23,159 --> 00:12:25,619
Come back next Thursday.
I've got five shifts open.
186
00:12:25,703 --> 00:12:27,746
- You're offering me a job?
- Uh- huh.
187
00:12:28,415 --> 00:12:29,706
(SCOFFS)
188
00:12:29,791 --> 00:12:31,291
The waitresses hate me.
189
00:12:33,795 --> 00:12:36,547
Wait till you've given them crabs.
190
00:12:36,631 --> 00:12:38,841
Then you'll really know hatred.
191
00:12:56,067 --> 00:12:57,276
PROFESSOR: l'd like to discuss
192
00:12:57,360 --> 00:12:59,278
the demand for money
by focusing on...
193
00:12:59,362 --> 00:13:00,654
the money multiplier.
194
00:13:00,738 --> 00:13:04,700
Add increases in currency,
deposits, reserves and bank credits.
195
00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:06,743
Then we have the sum of
an infinite series.
196
00:13:06,828 --> 00:13:09,371
Adding these components together,
197
00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:12,958
we find that they add up
to one plus CU over CU plus RE.
198
00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:15,627
That, simply stated,
is the money multiplier.
199
00:13:15,712 --> 00:13:17,171
Now, moving on...
200
00:13:17,672 --> 00:13:20,132
The essential technique of bartending:
201
00:13:20,216 --> 00:13:22,301
Less is more.
202
00:13:22,385 --> 00:13:24,136
The less you pour, the more you score.
203
00:13:24,220 --> 00:13:26,763
The boss does better, we do better.
204
00:13:26,848 --> 00:13:27,890
And the customer?
205
00:13:27,974 --> 00:13:30,100
Think of a customer
as a hurdler thinks of a hurdle.
206
00:13:30,185 --> 00:13:31,602
A means to an end.
207
00:13:31,686 --> 00:13:35,564
We dazzle him with ice work.
We baffle him with bottle work.
208
00:13:36,232 --> 00:13:38,442
There are many ways to
fool a customer.
209
00:13:38,526 --> 00:13:40,486
The short pour.
210
00:13:41,696 --> 00:13:43,447
The long pour.
211
00:13:44,032 --> 00:13:46,116
The ice mountain. The spring thaw.
212
00:13:46,201 --> 00:13:48,494
The speed rack shuffle. The hot shot.
213
00:13:48,578 --> 00:13:50,871
You will learn them all.
214
00:13:50,955 --> 00:13:52,915
Yes, Obi- Wan.
215
00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:54,958
BRIAN: Both hands. Ladies, come on.
216
00:13:55,043 --> 00:13:58,128
Okay, ready?
One, two, three. Let go!
217
00:13:58,213 --> 00:13:59,671
(SCREAMING)
218
00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:01,548
(LAUGHING)
219
00:14:02,967 --> 00:14:04,051
What does it mean?
220
00:14:04,219 --> 00:14:06,553
What does it mean? Nothing!
221
00:14:06,888 --> 00:14:08,555
Nothing?
222
00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:10,557
All right! Nothing!
223
00:14:11,601 --> 00:14:12,601
Whoa!
224
00:14:15,563 --> 00:14:17,814
Very sophisticated, man.
225
00:14:17,899 --> 00:14:19,191
- Good joke.
- You're crazy.
226
00:14:21,402 --> 00:14:22,945
(LAUGHING)
227
00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:27,407
WAITRESS: You got talent.
228
00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:31,620
(WHOOPING)
229
00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:34,248
Let's go with the drinks.
We're making money tonight.
230
00:14:34,457 --> 00:14:36,458
WAITRESS: Let's make
some money for a change.
231
00:14:38,419 --> 00:14:39,836
BRIAN: Ice!
232
00:14:39,921 --> 00:14:42,214
- DOUG: Catch!
- Thank you.
233
00:14:42,507 --> 00:14:45,217
I guess that's what you learned
in college, right?
234
00:14:45,426 --> 00:14:47,636
(ROCK 'N' ROLL SONG PLAYING)
235
00:14:58,398 --> 00:15:00,983
What buns! See?
236
00:15:01,109 --> 00:15:03,151
WAITRESS: Don't forget my beers, Bri.
237
00:15:05,655 --> 00:15:06,738
(WHOOPS)
238
00:15:06,823 --> 00:15:08,115
Missed me!
239
00:15:10,285 --> 00:15:11,868
The name of the game is woman.
240
00:15:11,953 --> 00:15:14,079
The little darlings come in here panting.
241
00:15:14,163 --> 00:15:15,872
Their hearts are pitter- pattering
242
00:15:15,957 --> 00:15:18,792
for the handsome,
all- knowing bartender.
243
00:15:19,294 --> 00:15:20,752
And in their wake,
244
00:15:20,837 --> 00:15:22,337
a parade of slobbering geeks,
245
00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:26,008
with one hand on their crotches
and the other hand on their wallets.
246
00:15:26,092 --> 00:15:27,759
You get the women,
and you get the bucks.
247
00:15:27,844 --> 00:15:30,304
Boy, oh, boy, you've got them.
248
00:15:30,388 --> 00:15:32,347
Buttons were popping,
skirts were rising.
249
00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:36,101
When you can see the color of their
panties, you know you've got talent.
250
00:15:36,185 --> 00:15:37,311
(LAUGHING)
251
00:15:37,895 --> 00:15:40,230
Stick with me, son.
I'll make you a star.
252
00:15:40,315 --> 00:15:42,065
Thanks, man,
but I gotta be honest,
253
00:15:42,650 --> 00:15:45,319
this is just a part- time gig for me.
254
00:15:45,403 --> 00:15:48,238
I'm in a business program,
city college, days.
255
00:15:48,323 --> 00:15:50,657
Ah! A seeker of wisdom and truth.
256
00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:55,621
This is the best work study program
you can find.
257
00:15:55,705 --> 00:15:58,582
To a future leader ofAmerica...
258
00:15:58,666 --> 00:15:59,958
I'll stick with the brew.
259
00:16:00,376 --> 00:16:02,419
(SCOFFS) Beer is
for breakfast around here.
260
00:16:02,503 --> 00:16:04,338
Drink or be gone.
261
00:16:13,181 --> 00:16:17,434
I realize I've got a class
of budding capitalists here.
262
00:16:17,518 --> 00:16:22,022
That most of you
are seeking the fast track, lovely term,
263
00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:27,277
to a career in investment banking
or some other socially useful pursuit.
264
00:16:27,362 --> 00:16:32,616
Nevertheless, certain antiquated skills
such as reading and writing,
265
00:16:32,909 --> 00:16:35,160
remain a part of the curriculum.
266
00:16:35,244 --> 00:16:38,413
So, for your first assignment,
267
00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:40,666
I'd like you
to write your own obituaries.
268
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,626
Not that I wish you were dead.
269
00:16:42,710 --> 00:16:45,587
At least, not yet, anyway.
270
00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:48,215
"Brian Flanagan...
271
00:16:49,133 --> 00:16:53,845
"Senator Brian Flanagan...
Billionaire Governor Brian Flanagan...
272
00:16:53,930 --> 00:16:57,349
"whose self- propelled meteoric rise
to wealth and fame,
273
00:16:57,433 --> 00:17:01,186
"would have made
even J.D. Rockefeller envious,
274
00:17:02,438 --> 00:17:05,273
"died early yesterday morning
at the age of 99,
275
00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:08,026
"while bedding 1 8- year- old,
seventh wife.
276
00:17:09,237 --> 00:17:12,739
"Heidi, who is recovering from
exhaustion at the local hospital
277
00:17:12,824 --> 00:17:15,909
"and will be
unable to attend the funeral."
278
00:17:17,912 --> 00:17:19,329
(BOTH LAUGHING)
279
00:17:20,289 --> 00:17:21,832
PROFESSOR: For your midterm paper,
280
00:17:21,916 --> 00:17:26,670
I want you to select a business
you are interested in.
281
00:17:26,754 --> 00:17:30,382
And prepare a complete plan
for its development.
282
00:17:30,466 --> 00:17:33,468
You should include capitalization,
283
00:17:34,429 --> 00:17:38,432
administrative costs,
income prospectus,
284
00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:43,311
marketing, cost analysis...
285
00:17:44,856 --> 00:17:48,275
Blue shirt, fifth row,
wake up!
286
00:17:51,779 --> 00:17:54,364
Ah! Light dawns on marble head.
287
00:17:54,449 --> 00:17:56,199
(STUDENTS LAUGHING)
288
00:17:56,451 --> 00:17:57,826
Where was I?
289
00:17:57,994 --> 00:18:00,495
- (ROCK 'N' ROLL SONG PLAYING)
- Whoo!
290
00:18:05,460 --> 00:18:07,711
(SINGING ALONG)
291
00:18:22,602 --> 00:18:24,394
(CROWD SINGING ALONG)
292
00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:45,707
I have got serious "fuck me" eyes
coming over here.
293
00:18:45,792 --> 00:18:49,085
Stay in formation. Her old man's
coming in right behind her.
294
00:19:06,854 --> 00:19:08,063
(SIGHS)
295
00:19:12,610 --> 00:19:15,695
Flanagan, time!
296
00:19:16,864 --> 00:19:18,573
Holy shit.
297
00:19:25,706 --> 00:19:26,748
- Brian?
- Huh?
298
00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:28,375
The bottle.
299
00:19:32,296 --> 00:19:34,130
Try and make it by closing.
300
00:19:34,215 --> 00:19:37,342
I'm doing the best I can, okay?
301
00:19:41,848 --> 00:19:43,723
Sexual frustration.
302
00:19:45,059 --> 00:19:47,394
I asked you to prepare a business plan.
303
00:19:48,312 --> 00:19:50,272
- A seemingly simple assignment.
- (YAWNING)
304
00:19:50,648 --> 00:19:53,567
And yet,
one word describes your papers.
305
00:19:53,651 --> 00:19:57,195
Bankrupt!
306
00:19:57,864 --> 00:20:00,615
A word some of you will get
to know well in the future.
307
00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:03,702
Like Mr. Ron LeMaster.
Where is Ronnie LeMaster?
308
00:20:03,786 --> 00:20:06,496
Yes. Our cosmetics magnate,
309
00:20:06,581 --> 00:20:10,125
who hopes to make his fortune
selling makeup for pets.
310
00:20:10,293 --> 00:20:11,334
(STUDENTS LAUGH)
311
00:20:11,419 --> 00:20:13,670
Fetch, Ronnie, fetch.
312
00:20:13,754 --> 00:20:15,171
Good boy.
313
00:20:15,256 --> 00:20:18,592
And my own personal favorite,
Mrs. Sheila Rivkin.
314
00:20:18,676 --> 00:20:20,093
Oh, my God. He's got my paper.
315
00:20:20,177 --> 00:20:24,097
Mrs. Rivkin has spent the last 20 years
burning her husband's dinners,
316
00:20:24,181 --> 00:20:26,266
but now decides she wants to become
317
00:20:26,350 --> 00:20:28,602
the Donald Trump of
the cookie business.
318
00:20:28,686 --> 00:20:30,353
You!
319
00:20:30,438 --> 00:20:32,355
You have something to contribute?
320
00:20:33,024 --> 00:20:34,900
I just said it wasn't worth
getting upset about.
321
00:20:35,401 --> 00:20:37,068
What's your name?
322
00:20:37,153 --> 00:20:38,153
(SOFTLY) Brian Flanagan.
323
00:20:38,237 --> 00:20:41,531
Speak up!
Let the class hear you.
324
00:20:41,616 --> 00:20:42,699
Brian Flanagan.
325
00:20:42,783 --> 00:20:44,826
Yes, Mr. Flanagan.
326
00:20:44,911 --> 00:20:46,786
Let us see...
327
00:20:47,830 --> 00:20:52,334
Mr. Flanagan is determined
to revolutionize the bar business
328
00:20:52,418 --> 00:20:56,087
by franchising his version
of the local New York tavern
329
00:20:56,172 --> 00:20:58,715
to every suburban shopping mall
in America.
330
00:20:58,799 --> 00:21:03,511
Tell me, do you intend
to provide the smell of stale beer?
331
00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:08,308
Or perhaps a surly bartender
and three boring drunks
332
00:21:08,392 --> 00:21:09,559
to each outlet?
333
00:21:09,644 --> 00:21:11,686
I don't know,
you looking for anotherjob?
334
00:21:11,771 --> 00:21:13,730
(STUDENTS EXCLAIM IN SHOCK)
335
00:21:13,814 --> 00:21:15,857
Ah! A diamond in the rough.
336
00:21:15,942 --> 00:21:18,818
The dreamer who
can't take the criticism.
337
00:21:18,903 --> 00:21:22,447
Not from a guy who hides here
'cause he can't hack it in the real world.
338
00:21:26,786 --> 00:21:30,455
Let's see how well you hack it in the
real world with an F in this course.
339
00:21:30,539 --> 00:21:31,873
F!
340
00:21:34,835 --> 00:21:38,797
Not a goddamn thing
any one of those professors says
341
00:21:38,881 --> 00:21:41,132
makes a difference on the street.
342
00:21:41,217 --> 00:21:44,094
If you know that,
you're ready to graduate.
343
00:21:50,476 --> 00:21:52,811
Maybe I'm just too old to be a student.
344
00:21:56,941 --> 00:21:58,358
(SIGHING)
345
00:21:58,818 --> 00:22:00,485
Christ!
346
00:22:01,362 --> 00:22:04,906
I've got to find something to do.
347
00:22:04,991 --> 00:22:07,367
Relax. You're in the perfect job.
348
00:22:07,451 --> 00:22:11,329
There's no better way to make it
than behind three feet of mahogany.
349
00:22:11,831 --> 00:22:13,581
Within one square mile of this saloon,
350
00:22:13,666 --> 00:22:16,209
lies the greatest concentration of wealth
in the world.
351
00:22:17,044 --> 00:22:22,966
Yes, but how is a bartender
going to get his hands on any of it?
352
00:22:23,801 --> 00:22:27,595
A bartender is the aristocrat
of the working class.
353
00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:30,932
He can make all kinds of moves
if he's smart.
354
00:22:31,517 --> 00:22:36,312
There are investors out there.
There are angels. There are suckers.
355
00:22:36,397 --> 00:22:39,858
There are rich women
with nothing to do with their money.
356
00:22:40,109 --> 00:22:41,401
(LAUGHING)
357
00:22:41,819 --> 00:22:44,487
You stand in this bar
and be struck by lightning.
358
00:22:44,572 --> 00:22:46,281
I've seen it happen.
359
00:22:49,535 --> 00:22:50,660
Shall I continue?
360
00:22:50,745 --> 00:22:52,328
Oh, please do.
361
00:22:55,291 --> 00:22:57,959
(BOTH SINGING ROCK 'N' ROLL SONG)
362
00:23:20,024 --> 00:23:23,359
It is not dignified to get this drunk.
363
00:23:23,444 --> 00:23:24,903
You are in training.
364
00:23:24,987 --> 00:23:26,863
- I'm in training?
- For stardom.
365
00:23:26,947 --> 00:23:27,947
For stardom.
366
00:23:28,032 --> 00:23:30,075
No matter how liberated
this world becomes,
367
00:23:30,159 --> 00:23:34,037
a man will always be judged based on
the amount of alcohol he can consume.
368
00:23:34,121 --> 00:23:36,456
- Always.
- And a woman will be impressed,
369
00:23:36,540 --> 00:23:38,792
whether she likes it or not.
370
00:23:40,336 --> 00:23:42,754
- Now come on.
- I'm not going to make it.
371
00:23:42,838 --> 00:23:47,717
You are! A star never pukes
or passes out in public.
372
00:23:48,761 --> 00:23:50,136
(SCREAMING)
373
00:23:53,224 --> 00:23:55,058
Holy shit.
374
00:23:55,976 --> 00:23:58,436
Hey, are you okay?
375
00:24:00,523 --> 00:24:01,981
You alive?
376
00:24:08,989 --> 00:24:13,493
However, falling down stairs is allowed.
377
00:24:14,161 --> 00:24:15,453
(CHUCKLING)
378
00:24:21,168 --> 00:24:23,211
You sure you don't want a slice?
379
00:24:23,295 --> 00:24:25,004
For breakfast? You've got to be joking.
380
00:24:26,173 --> 00:24:27,715
It's better than a Red- eye.
381
00:24:28,384 --> 00:24:29,926
Not for a hangover.
382
00:24:30,344 --> 00:24:32,679
Coughlin's diet.
383
00:24:32,763 --> 00:24:35,306
Cocktails and dreams.
384
00:24:35,850 --> 00:24:38,268
That's not a bad name for a joint.
385
00:24:38,352 --> 00:24:41,104
We really ought to think
about setting up our own place.
386
00:24:41,188 --> 00:24:42,522
That takes money.
387
00:24:42,606 --> 00:24:46,776
The kind of money your sacred books
dangle, but never deliver.
388
00:24:47,653 --> 00:24:49,654
BRIAN: They deliver.
389
00:24:49,738 --> 00:24:52,198
You just got to know how to read.
390
00:24:55,286 --> 00:24:57,495
Come on, we could make a fortune.
391
00:24:57,955 --> 00:25:00,957
That's why you came to New York.
That's sure as hell why I left Queens.
392
00:25:01,041 --> 00:25:03,001
Positive thinking!
393
00:25:04,086 --> 00:25:07,130
We can't let a little thing
like cash stand in our way.
394
00:25:07,965 --> 00:25:13,052
Cocktails and Dreams.
395
00:25:13,137 --> 00:25:16,097
I see it in pink neon.
Blink. Blink.
396
00:25:16,432 --> 00:25:17,849
Pinkity, blink.
397
00:25:18,100 --> 00:25:19,392
That is a little corny, isn't it?
398
00:25:19,935 --> 00:25:21,561
But I could live with it.
399
00:25:21,645 --> 00:25:24,397
Yes, but can I
live with young Flanagan?
400
00:25:26,192 --> 00:25:30,486
Maybe I could handle a partner.
401
00:25:30,571 --> 00:25:32,488
All right!
402
00:25:32,573 --> 00:25:33,615
Fifty- fifty.
403
00:25:33,699 --> 00:25:35,200
A partner who knows his place.
404
00:25:35,284 --> 00:25:37,076
Seventy- thirty.
405
00:25:39,413 --> 00:25:41,581
You do have
your pension to think about,
406
00:25:41,665 --> 00:25:43,833
so I'll settle for sixty- forty.
407
00:25:45,753 --> 00:25:48,588
To health and friendship.
408
00:25:49,381 --> 00:25:50,632
Life and love.
409
00:25:51,258 --> 00:25:52,342
Our future.
410
00:25:52,426 --> 00:25:53,468
To our future.
411
00:25:53,844 --> 00:25:55,511
Let's really do it.
412
00:25:57,932 --> 00:25:59,766
(ROCK 'N' ROLL SONG PLAYING)
413
00:26:00,267 --> 00:26:02,143
(ALL CHANTING) Do it! Do it!
414
00:26:03,062 --> 00:26:04,938
Let's do it!
415
00:26:06,774 --> 00:26:08,524
One, two, three.
416
00:26:10,569 --> 00:26:12,111
(SINGING ALONG)
417
00:26:37,721 --> 00:26:39,055
(CLANGING)
418
00:26:41,016 --> 00:26:42,058
(SONG ENDS)
419
00:26:42,142 --> 00:26:43,643
(CROWD CHEERING)
420
00:26:44,311 --> 00:26:49,399
Listen, why the fuck are
two stars like you wasting your talents
421
00:26:49,483 --> 00:26:50,566
in a hole like this?
422
00:26:50,651 --> 00:26:51,693
A secret admirer?
423
00:26:51,777 --> 00:26:54,988
I'm serious.
I got the hottest saloon in town.
424
00:26:55,072 --> 00:26:56,906
I want you guys working for me.
425
00:26:56,991 --> 00:26:58,408
In two weeks, you'll be famous.
426
00:26:58,492 --> 00:27:01,119
I've been famous for ten years.
Just give me the money.
427
00:27:01,203 --> 00:27:03,871
(SINGING) I got the hippie hippie shake
428
00:27:04,456 --> 00:27:06,165
(ROCK SONG PLAYING)
429
00:27:32,818 --> 00:27:36,029
I am the world's first yuppie poet.
430
00:27:36,488 --> 00:27:39,032
Bullshit!
431
00:27:40,534 --> 00:27:43,536
My poem is entitled The Bottom Line.
432
00:27:44,079 --> 00:27:45,788
MAN: Stick it in your Volvo!
433
00:27:45,873 --> 00:27:48,124
"Money isn't everything,"
They say
434
00:27:49,501 --> 00:27:51,794
Okay, so what is?
Sex?
435
00:27:52,504 --> 00:27:53,796
MAN: It's better than sushi!
436
00:27:53,881 --> 00:27:56,174
Did you ever make love
To a pauper?
437
00:27:56,508 --> 00:27:57,508
(EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST)
438
00:27:57,593 --> 00:27:58,968
WOMAN: I'd rather hump a camel!
439
00:27:59,053 --> 00:28:01,179
Revolution?
It takes money
440
00:28:01,263 --> 00:28:04,057
To overthrow the government,
You know
441
00:28:04,224 --> 00:28:05,183
That's deep!
442
00:28:05,267 --> 00:28:08,394
Art? The more it costs,
The better it is
443
00:28:08,479 --> 00:28:10,813
And that's the bottom line!
444
00:28:10,898 --> 00:28:12,106
(ALL CHEERING)
445
00:28:12,399 --> 00:28:14,233
- Crap, I say!
- Bullshit!
446
00:28:14,318 --> 00:28:17,904
Who wants a drink?
447
00:28:18,530 --> 00:28:20,114
(CROWD CHANTING)
448
00:28:22,618 --> 00:28:24,243
We want more!
449
00:28:29,666 --> 00:28:31,376
(WHISTLING)
450
00:28:37,549 --> 00:28:39,092
You want poets?
451
00:28:39,176 --> 00:28:40,510
WOMEN: Yes, we do!
452
00:28:40,594 --> 00:28:42,428
- You want poets?
- ALL: Yeah!
453
00:28:43,180 --> 00:28:46,849
I am the world's last barman poet.
454
00:28:48,018 --> 00:28:50,269
MAN: Give us a kiss, you sexy beast!
455
00:28:50,354 --> 00:28:51,938
(WOMAN WHOOPING)
456
00:28:53,315 --> 00:28:56,234
I see America drinking
457
00:28:56,318 --> 00:28:58,820
The fabulous cocktails I make
458
00:28:59,905 --> 00:29:03,491
America's getting stinking
On something I stir or shake
459
00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:06,953
The Sex on the Beach
460
00:29:07,121 --> 00:29:08,246
(ALL CHEERING)
461
00:29:08,455 --> 00:29:10,665
The schnapps made from peach
462
00:29:10,749 --> 00:29:13,793
The Velvet Hammer
The Alabama Slammer
463
00:29:15,629 --> 00:29:19,090
I make things with juice
And frothy Pink Squirrel
464
00:29:19,174 --> 00:29:20,758
Three Toad Sloth
465
00:29:20,843 --> 00:29:21,926
(LAUGHTER)
466
00:29:22,010 --> 00:29:25,221
I make drinks so sweet and snazzy
467
00:29:25,305 --> 00:29:27,890
The Ice Tea, the Kamikaze
468
00:29:30,811 --> 00:29:32,895
- The Orgasm
- (CROWD EXCLAIMING)
469
00:29:32,980 --> 00:29:35,022
DOUG: Hands off the merchandise!
470
00:29:36,817 --> 00:29:38,860
The Death Spasm
471
00:29:41,447 --> 00:29:43,739
The Singapore Sling
The Ding- A- Ling
472
00:29:43,824 --> 00:29:44,907
WOMAN: Ding- A- Ling?
473
00:29:44,992 --> 00:29:47,160
America, you're just devoted
474
00:29:47,744 --> 00:29:49,662
To ever flavor I've got
475
00:29:52,291 --> 00:29:54,584
But if you want to get loaded
476
00:29:54,668 --> 00:29:57,962
- Why don't you just order a shot?
- (ALL CHEERING)
477
00:30:08,390 --> 00:30:09,849
Bar's open!
478
00:30:10,058 --> 00:30:11,809
(ROCK 'N' ROLL SONG PLAYING)
479
00:30:17,441 --> 00:30:19,609
I'd like to try the Orgasm, please.
480
00:30:21,278 --> 00:30:23,196
How many would you like?
481
00:30:24,698 --> 00:30:26,365
- Multiple.
- Multiple?
482
00:30:28,452 --> 00:30:31,996
Then why don't we start
with the Turquoise Blue?
483
00:30:33,957 --> 00:30:35,208
Wow!
484
00:30:41,924 --> 00:30:43,466
(SINGING ALONG)
485
00:30:46,637 --> 00:30:48,471
You guys are rad!
486
00:30:51,099 --> 00:30:52,517
(SINGING) I'm aII shook up
487
00:30:52,893 --> 00:30:53,893
(WHOOPING)
488
00:31:01,235 --> 00:31:02,735
You guys are amazing!
489
00:31:12,746 --> 00:31:14,830
l'm all shook up
490
00:31:23,549 --> 00:31:25,132
Oh, my God!
491
00:31:28,011 --> 00:31:29,303
That was fantastic!
492
00:31:29,388 --> 00:31:30,846
It was great!
493
00:31:30,931 --> 00:31:32,473
You gotta let me take your picture.
494
00:31:32,558 --> 00:31:33,558
BRIAN: What for?
495
00:31:33,642 --> 00:31:36,310
When you're a big celebrity,
I'll put you in RoIIing Stone.
496
00:31:36,395 --> 00:31:37,687
- Right.
- He's my protégé.
497
00:31:37,771 --> 00:31:38,938
I discovered him.
498
00:31:39,022 --> 00:31:41,899
That's great. Can you move aside?
I can't fit you both in.
499
00:31:42,276 --> 00:31:44,110
- Excuse me.
- (CHUCKLING)
500
00:31:44,194 --> 00:31:45,278
That's great.
501
00:31:46,780 --> 00:31:48,948
(ROCK 'N' ROLL SONG PLAYING)
502
00:31:49,491 --> 00:31:51,534
(LAUGHTER)
503
00:32:17,811 --> 00:32:19,228
(MOANING)
504
00:32:25,652 --> 00:32:27,153
(SHRIEKING)
505
00:32:29,823 --> 00:32:31,157
(LAUGHING)
506
00:32:34,870 --> 00:32:36,245
(SCREAMING)
507
00:32:38,540 --> 00:32:39,915
(CHUCKLING)
508
00:32:44,504 --> 00:32:46,255
I gotta go.
509
00:32:47,215 --> 00:32:49,925
- Tuesday night?
- I'm working.
510
00:32:50,010 --> 00:32:52,845
So, I'll wait
at the end of the bar till closing.
511
00:32:52,929 --> 00:32:55,681
Isn't that what
all bartenders' girlfriends do?
512
00:32:55,766 --> 00:32:57,224
All right.
513
00:33:00,479 --> 00:33:03,189
- Bye!
- Get in there. You'll catch pneumonia!
514
00:33:14,368 --> 00:33:16,035
DOUG: Get up! Get out of there!
515
00:33:16,119 --> 00:33:17,536
Back off!
516
00:33:18,080 --> 00:33:19,538
(EXCLAIMING)
517
00:33:19,706 --> 00:33:21,415
Get up, damn it!
518
00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:23,626
Look at that clown.
519
00:33:23,710 --> 00:33:25,628
BRIAN: Good night, sweet prince.
520
00:33:27,047 --> 00:33:29,131
Looks like one of our customers.
521
00:33:29,216 --> 00:33:31,133
That bum just cost me $50.
522
00:33:31,218 --> 00:33:32,176
(SWITCHES OFF TV)
523
00:33:32,260 --> 00:33:34,512
What's this great idea
I'm here to piss on?
524
00:33:36,932 --> 00:33:40,810
I have been doing some research
525
00:33:40,894 --> 00:33:44,397
into what it'll cost to set up
Cocktails and Dreams.
526
00:33:44,523 --> 00:33:47,066
What I have found is
if we find the right location.
527
00:33:47,275 --> 00:33:48,984
Do our own renovation.
528
00:33:49,069 --> 00:33:51,987
We can start it up
for as little as $75,000 in cash.
529
00:33:52,072 --> 00:33:54,907
Ah! Which the tooth fairy
will deliver to our doorstep. Hmm?
530
00:33:55,575 --> 00:33:56,701
BRIAN: No, man.
531
00:33:57,327 --> 00:34:02,498
(IN MOCK JAMAICAN ACCENT)
Which we make in Jamaica, man.
532
00:34:02,582 --> 00:34:04,166
I like that. Hmm.
533
00:34:05,085 --> 00:34:07,545
- Jamaica, south of Soho?
- Yeah, man.
534
00:34:07,629 --> 00:34:11,006
Very south of Soho.
The Caribbean Jamaica, man.
535
00:34:11,091 --> 00:34:12,800
CORAL: I was down there last month
doing a shoot.
536
00:34:12,884 --> 00:34:16,095
I met a bartender
who makes $300 to $400 a day.
537
00:34:16,179 --> 00:34:17,847
A day! (WHOOPS)
538
00:34:17,931 --> 00:34:19,932
CORAL: He didn't have
any of talent of you guys.
539
00:34:20,016 --> 00:34:22,184
DOUG: I should hope not.
540
00:34:22,269 --> 00:34:24,603
Winter in the tropics,
spring in New York.
541
00:34:25,647 --> 00:34:27,440
Jet set bartenders, eh?
542
00:34:28,442 --> 00:34:31,193
We can live for peanuts down there.
There are no taxes.
543
00:34:31,278 --> 00:34:33,028
Cash off the books.
544
00:34:33,113 --> 00:34:34,947
Two, maybe three seasons,
we are in business.
545
00:34:35,031 --> 00:34:37,158
You wanna wait three years?
546
00:34:38,076 --> 00:34:40,828
I've told you,
New York is where the angels are.
547
00:34:40,912 --> 00:34:44,331
This is a real opportunity.
548
00:34:45,125 --> 00:34:47,126
We'll have a fantastic time.
549
00:34:47,544 --> 00:34:48,627
Will we?
550
00:34:49,755 --> 00:34:50,755
DOUG: Carl, huh?
551
00:34:51,214 --> 00:34:52,256
Coral.
552
00:34:52,340 --> 00:34:53,758
English, Coral.
553
00:34:53,842 --> 00:34:54,884
Coral.
554
00:34:56,636 --> 00:34:57,928
Yes!
555
00:34:59,055 --> 00:35:02,349
Why is it that these chicks are
always named after inanimate objects?
556
00:35:02,434 --> 00:35:05,102
There's nothing inanimate about Coral.
557
00:35:05,187 --> 00:35:06,771
DOUG: Hot mama, huh?
558
00:35:09,858 --> 00:35:10,983
Good shot.
559
00:35:11,067 --> 00:35:12,234
$1 0 behind the line?
560
00:35:13,278 --> 00:35:14,653
Sure, shoot till you miss.
561
00:35:15,322 --> 00:35:16,739
Where does Coral live?
562
00:35:17,991 --> 00:35:19,408
BRIAN: 76th Street.
563
00:35:19,493 --> 00:35:20,993
She's got a brownstone.
564
00:35:21,369 --> 00:35:22,745
She owns the whole fucking building.
565
00:35:23,705 --> 00:35:26,665
You don't think she lives there
all by herself, do you?
566
00:35:26,792 --> 00:35:28,334
That's a bit lucky.
567
00:35:28,418 --> 00:35:30,252
- See any pictures?
- Of guys?
568
00:35:30,337 --> 00:35:31,337
No.
569
00:35:34,508 --> 00:35:35,925
That's $30 you owe me.
570
00:35:36,009 --> 00:35:38,010
- Christ, I know.
- Man's on a roll.
571
00:35:38,094 --> 00:35:39,678
Ladies and gentlemen.
572
00:35:39,805 --> 00:35:43,015
She's been saving herself
for young Flanagan all these years?
573
00:35:43,433 --> 00:35:45,684
Maybe she hides the pictures
when she goes out.
574
00:35:46,144 --> 00:35:47,603
Have a look on her ring finger.
575
00:35:47,687 --> 00:35:50,064
See if there's a white circle
from her wedding band.
576
00:35:50,148 --> 00:35:51,607
Man, are you paranoid!
577
00:35:54,194 --> 00:35:57,696
Listen, it's the difference
between a one- nighter
578
00:35:57,781 --> 00:36:00,533
and a meaningful relationship
with an unattached millionairess.
579
00:36:00,617 --> 00:36:02,409
I'm not thinking about her
that way, okay?
580
00:36:02,494 --> 00:36:04,870
This is more than just
a one- night stand.
581
00:36:04,955 --> 00:36:06,747
This lady's gonna do a number on you,
mate.
582
00:36:06,832 --> 00:36:08,207
I appreciate the concern.
583
00:36:10,585 --> 00:36:11,669
(WHOOPING)
584
00:36:11,753 --> 00:36:13,379
That's $50 you owe me.
585
00:36:14,381 --> 00:36:15,965
$50?
586
00:36:16,049 --> 00:36:20,344
$50 says that Coral's in the sack with
some other guy before the week's out.
587
00:36:22,347 --> 00:36:23,722
That's a bet.
588
00:36:24,307 --> 00:36:25,808
DOUG: Missed.
589
00:36:26,142 --> 00:36:28,269
(ROCK 'N' ROLL SONG PLAYING)
590
00:36:29,396 --> 00:36:31,063
(EXCLAIMING)
591
00:36:41,491 --> 00:36:42,491
Hey.
592
00:36:42,576 --> 00:36:44,535
- How are you?
- Okay. How are you?
593
00:36:48,206 --> 00:36:49,582
(INAUDIBLE)
594
00:37:04,347 --> 00:37:05,472
MAN 1: Keep it.
595
00:37:06,266 --> 00:37:07,641
MAN 2: Brian!
596
00:37:07,726 --> 00:37:09,059
What'll you have?
597
00:37:09,144 --> 00:37:11,061
- What?
- A Screwdriver.
598
00:37:12,772 --> 00:37:15,274
I take it back,
you're not going to be famous.
599
00:37:15,650 --> 00:37:18,611
Too bad you couldn't keep
your mouth shut about our sex life.
600
00:37:19,112 --> 00:37:21,238
It only gets better.
601
00:37:27,120 --> 00:37:28,829
You made a move on Coral?
602
00:37:28,914 --> 00:37:30,039
I had to get my money back.
603
00:37:30,123 --> 00:37:31,999
You knew how I felt about her.
604
00:37:32,083 --> 00:37:34,084
How you feel anything
for an assembly- line hump
605
00:37:34,169 --> 00:37:35,878
that does the book on the first date?
606
00:37:35,962 --> 00:37:37,296
I did you a favor,
took her off your hands
607
00:37:37,380 --> 00:37:39,298
before she twisted your mind.
608
00:37:41,468 --> 00:37:43,636
You fuckin' son of a bitch!
609
00:37:43,720 --> 00:37:45,804
Coughlin's law:
Never talk about a woman.
610
00:37:45,889 --> 00:37:48,057
She'll hear you no matter
how far away she is.
611
00:37:48,141 --> 00:37:49,099
(WOMEN SCREAM)
612
00:37:49,184 --> 00:37:50,684
Come on!
613
00:37:51,353 --> 00:37:53,187
- Can't take the truth?
- Bullshit!
614
00:37:53,647 --> 00:37:56,023
It was nothing but
taking a cheap shot at me.
615
00:37:56,107 --> 00:37:58,067
Where I come from
you don't do that to your friends.
616
00:37:58,151 --> 00:38:01,904
Where you from they're still
saluting the flag and making novenas.
617
00:38:01,988 --> 00:38:03,155
No brawling in here.
618
00:38:03,448 --> 00:38:06,241
That goes for the help as well.
619
00:38:06,326 --> 00:38:08,744
I don't work here anymore.
620
00:38:08,828 --> 00:38:10,579
You wanna cut me, come on!
621
00:38:11,957 --> 00:38:13,248
MAN: Cool down, guys.
622
00:38:13,333 --> 00:38:15,501
You'll thank me for this one day.
623
00:38:16,169 --> 00:38:18,003
The fuck I will!
624
00:38:22,801 --> 00:38:24,468
Hey! (WHISTLES)
625
00:38:35,188 --> 00:38:37,147
(SLOW ROCK SONG PLAYING)
626
00:39:24,070 --> 00:39:25,821
Buddy?
627
00:39:25,905 --> 00:39:27,281
Hey, buddy!
628
00:39:29,284 --> 00:39:31,618
The name is not buddy or pal.
629
00:39:31,703 --> 00:39:34,788
The brochure promised me
a drink on the house.
630
00:39:35,790 --> 00:39:37,332
I'll take one of those orange things.
631
00:39:37,417 --> 00:39:38,917
Excuse me.
632
00:39:39,169 --> 00:39:41,670
My friend just passed out on the beach.
Do you have a phone?
633
00:39:41,755 --> 00:39:43,297
No. Excuse me.
634
00:39:50,805 --> 00:39:53,098
She was drinking champagne
in the sun.
635
00:39:53,641 --> 00:39:57,853
Champagne. Perfume going in,
sewage coming out.
636
00:39:57,937 --> 00:40:00,272
- Will she be all right?
- Yeah, she'll be okay.
637
00:40:00,356 --> 00:40:02,149
Could somebody go down
to the condo office
638
00:40:02,233 --> 00:40:03,692
and have them call an ambulance?
639
00:40:03,777 --> 00:40:05,027
Just in case.
640
00:40:05,111 --> 00:40:06,779
Let's get her up.
641
00:40:10,825 --> 00:40:12,701
The doctor will probably give her
a shot of Ipecac.
642
00:40:12,786 --> 00:40:14,244
I don't want any more to drink.
643
00:40:15,288 --> 00:40:18,207
Don't worry. It'll make you feel better.
It'll help you throw up.
644
00:40:18,291 --> 00:40:20,209
I don't want to throw up.
645
00:40:20,293 --> 00:40:22,961
Oh, God. I think I'm gonna throw up.
646
00:40:24,714 --> 00:40:26,965
No, I'm all right.
647
00:40:27,842 --> 00:40:29,968
She can never make up her mind.
648
00:40:30,136 --> 00:40:33,305
- Brian, I gotta hit the road, man.
- Okay.
649
00:40:36,851 --> 00:40:39,353
Well, bye.
650
00:40:40,897 --> 00:40:43,315
It has been an adventure.
(CHUCKLING)
651
00:40:43,525 --> 00:40:44,733
Mmm- hmm.
652
00:40:46,653 --> 00:40:47,820
Owen'll take care of you.
653
00:40:52,158 --> 00:40:54,159
(POP SONG PLAYING)
654
00:41:17,058 --> 00:41:19,852
Mark, I haven't forgotten about you.
655
00:41:20,145 --> 00:41:23,605
Welcome to my most humble,
dishonorable establishment.
656
00:41:23,690 --> 00:41:25,315
Well, thank you.
657
00:41:25,400 --> 00:41:29,027
My worthless, useless services
are at your disposal.
658
00:41:29,612 --> 00:41:33,240
I want to come by and thank you
for helping out yesterday.
659
00:41:33,366 --> 00:41:34,992
That's all right.
How's she doing?
660
00:41:35,076 --> 00:41:37,452
She has a hangover.
661
00:41:37,537 --> 00:41:39,163
(BOTH LAUGH)
662
00:41:39,247 --> 00:41:42,541
Can I buy you a drink?
One of rum specialties, perhaps.
663
00:41:42,667 --> 00:41:44,042
I'll have a beer.
664
00:41:44,127 --> 00:41:45,460
Beer.
665
00:41:46,880 --> 00:41:49,089
My kind of woman.
666
00:41:51,634 --> 00:41:53,302
Guys.
667
00:41:56,639 --> 00:41:59,266
It seems like happy hour
all day around here.
668
00:41:59,350 --> 00:42:01,393
Yes, happy hour.
669
00:42:01,477 --> 00:42:02,978
That great American invention for
670
00:42:03,062 --> 00:42:05,606
spending quality time
with spouse soused.
671
00:42:05,690 --> 00:42:08,692
(LAUGHS) A bartender
with a line for everything.
672
00:42:08,776 --> 00:42:10,611
The bartender.
673
00:42:10,737 --> 00:42:13,322
The highest evolution of the species.
674
00:42:14,240 --> 00:42:15,574
Boozus New Yorkus.
675
00:42:18,328 --> 00:42:19,411
Whoa!
676
00:42:19,746 --> 00:42:21,955
I used to work at a circus
before I got this job.
677
00:42:22,040 --> 00:42:23,373
(LAUGHING)
678
00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:25,584
Excuse me.
679
00:42:43,436 --> 00:42:45,103
(INAUDIBLE)
680
00:42:54,739 --> 00:42:57,699
You wanna see a grown man
cry like a baby?
681
00:42:57,784 --> 00:42:58,784
Hey, bartender.
682
00:42:59,118 --> 00:43:01,495
You know how to make a Red- eye?
683
00:43:09,754 --> 00:43:11,255
What, no tearful greeting?
684
00:43:12,632 --> 00:43:14,299
Coughlin's law.
685
00:43:14,425 --> 00:43:17,886
Never show surprise.
Never lose your cool.
686
00:43:18,388 --> 00:43:19,638
Ah! My sons.
687
00:43:19,722 --> 00:43:21,556
My rebellious sons.
688
00:43:21,641 --> 00:43:23,141
Tell your old buddy how great he looks.
689
00:43:26,145 --> 00:43:30,190
You look like a guy who dyes his hair
and shaves with a Brillo pad.
690
00:43:31,025 --> 00:43:34,278
A guy who gets an erection
on his birthday if the wind is right.
691
00:43:34,362 --> 00:43:35,445
Isn't this great?
692
00:43:35,530 --> 00:43:38,073
Two years we haven't seen each other
and we just flow into the old act.
693
00:43:38,157 --> 00:43:40,367
Please, stop molesting the customers.
694
00:43:41,577 --> 00:43:43,996
A daiquiri if you will, bartender.
695
00:43:46,291 --> 00:43:48,542
I taught this young man
everything he knows.
696
00:43:48,668 --> 00:43:50,794
I doubt that.
697
00:43:50,878 --> 00:43:52,504
(MIXER WHIRRING)
698
00:43:53,464 --> 00:43:55,007
Don't you waste your loyalty on him.
699
00:43:55,091 --> 00:43:57,676
He'll dump you after Valentine's Day.
700
00:44:01,514 --> 00:44:03,015
Isn't that clever?
701
00:44:03,850 --> 00:44:06,184
What the hell are you doing down here?
702
00:44:07,186 --> 00:44:10,689
This lad is the best bartender
south of 14th Street.
703
00:44:10,773 --> 00:44:12,024
It's his downfall.
704
00:44:12,108 --> 00:44:14,943
I don't see how being good
at something can be your downfall.
705
00:44:15,028 --> 00:44:16,028
Thank you.
706
00:44:16,112 --> 00:44:18,697
I grant you, it's not
an easy concept to grasp.
707
00:44:18,781 --> 00:44:20,782
Now you take our hero, here.
708
00:44:20,867 --> 00:44:23,452
I haven't seen him in a while
and I've never been here before,
709
00:44:23,536 --> 00:44:25,037
but I will bet my bile duct
710
00:44:25,121 --> 00:44:28,874
that he's got some kind
of success manual behind the bar.
711
00:44:29,167 --> 00:44:31,877
Come on, Flanagan.
I know it's here.
712
00:44:38,843 --> 00:44:40,594
- Touché.
- VoiIá.
713
00:44:41,054 --> 00:44:42,721
You see, Flanagan's a believer.
714
00:44:42,805 --> 00:44:43,847
Always will be.
715
00:44:43,931 --> 00:44:46,224
He doesn't realize the doors are shut
to people like us.
716
00:44:46,309 --> 00:44:48,226
Maybe he wants to open them.
717
00:44:48,311 --> 00:44:50,103
Then he has to
steal the keys, sweetheart.
718
00:44:50,188 --> 00:44:52,981
Something Coughlin here
has been unable to do.
719
00:44:53,066 --> 00:44:55,442
I don't have to, not anymore.
720
00:44:55,526 --> 00:44:56,651
I've had my miracle.
721
00:44:57,028 --> 00:44:59,780
Oh, what? Some alky
remember you in his will?
722
00:45:02,075 --> 00:45:03,450
Better.
723
00:45:03,534 --> 00:45:05,202
I am in love.
724
00:45:05,912 --> 00:45:06,912
Oh.
725
00:45:08,206 --> 00:45:09,998
There is my miracle.
726
00:45:11,125 --> 00:45:13,126
BRIAN: Who? Pocahontas over there?
727
00:45:13,211 --> 00:45:15,128
Waiting for everyone to notice her?
728
00:45:15,213 --> 00:45:17,923
How dare you speak that way
about my wife.
729
00:45:18,424 --> 00:45:19,800
(LAUGHING)
730
00:45:21,260 --> 00:45:22,511
Your wife?
731
00:45:22,595 --> 00:45:25,222
- In your dreams.
- For real.
732
00:45:25,306 --> 00:45:27,349
We are here on our honeymoon.
733
00:45:27,433 --> 00:45:28,475
Sweetheart!
734
00:45:31,604 --> 00:45:32,938
Come hither!
735
00:45:41,531 --> 00:45:42,781
You're married?
736
00:45:43,282 --> 00:45:45,992
This is true love, young Flanagan.
737
00:45:46,077 --> 00:45:47,994
True love with a kicker.
738
00:45:48,121 --> 00:45:50,288
She's got millions.
739
00:45:50,373 --> 00:45:51,623
Where were you?
740
00:45:51,707 --> 00:45:53,542
I thought you'd drowned or something.
741
00:45:53,626 --> 00:45:54,876
No such luck.
742
00:45:54,961 --> 00:45:56,837
Brian Flanagan. Kerry Coughlin.
743
00:45:56,921 --> 00:45:58,130
The love of my life.
744
00:45:59,465 --> 00:46:00,882
- BRIAN: Hello.
- Hi.
745
00:46:00,967 --> 00:46:03,009
You see before you
a changed man.
746
00:46:03,094 --> 00:46:07,013
The love of a good woman
has made me see the light.
747
00:46:07,723 --> 00:46:09,850
(SINGING REGGAE SONG)
748
00:46:22,029 --> 00:46:25,157
Brian's cute.
How long have you known him?
749
00:46:25,241 --> 00:46:27,367
About 1 0 hours.
750
00:46:31,664 --> 00:46:33,290
Excuse me.
751
00:46:33,374 --> 00:46:35,000
There you go.
752
00:46:35,543 --> 00:46:38,753
I have never seen a club
with such intense dance vibes.
753
00:46:38,838 --> 00:46:41,381
Come on,
let's decimate this dance floor.
754
00:46:45,678 --> 00:46:47,012
I don't get the two of them.
755
00:46:47,680 --> 00:46:52,601
Simple. She's a rich chick,
whose family owns half of Manhattan.
756
00:46:52,685 --> 00:46:56,688
Just to piss them off,
she decided to marry a bartender.
757
00:46:57,440 --> 00:46:58,940
True love.
758
00:46:59,025 --> 00:47:00,984
Let's dance.
759
00:47:26,552 --> 00:47:30,138
Do you ever have the feeling
that you might meet somebody?
760
00:47:30,223 --> 00:47:32,974
You know when you
walk into some place.
761
00:47:34,268 --> 00:47:36,978
- Star- crossed lovers syndrome?
- Hmm.
762
00:47:37,063 --> 00:47:38,230
No.
763
00:47:38,314 --> 00:47:39,606
No?
764
00:47:40,858 --> 00:47:42,984
I had a premonition
that I was gonna meet somebody
765
00:47:43,069 --> 00:47:44,194
when I came down here.
766
00:47:44,278 --> 00:47:45,820
- Really?
- Mmm- hmm.
767
00:47:45,905 --> 00:47:48,281
You still got time, you know.
768
00:47:48,366 --> 00:47:51,451
Some woman must have really
done a job on you.
769
00:47:51,536 --> 00:47:53,954
Why does it always
have to be a woman?
770
00:47:54,038 --> 00:47:56,414
It doesn't. Your friend,
what's his name...
771
00:47:56,499 --> 00:47:58,333
Doug could've done it to you.
772
00:47:58,417 --> 00:48:00,085
What's this?
773
00:48:00,169 --> 00:48:02,504
Immune to Coughlin's fatal charms?
774
00:48:02,588 --> 00:48:04,965
Give him a minute. You'll love him.
All women do.
775
00:48:06,342 --> 00:48:08,510
I'm not like all women.
776
00:48:09,637 --> 00:48:11,680
I'll give you that.
777
00:48:12,890 --> 00:48:15,141
Of course, I'm not like all men either.
778
00:48:15,226 --> 00:48:17,477
Yes, you are an original,
779
00:48:17,562 --> 00:48:19,646
till you prove otherwise.
780
00:48:20,273 --> 00:48:21,982
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
781
00:48:22,066 --> 00:48:25,277
Uh- oh! I better be careful
not to lose my unique status.
782
00:48:34,203 --> 00:48:36,955
So, is this one- night stand time?
783
00:48:38,040 --> 00:48:39,791
It doesn't make you a bad person.
784
00:48:41,335 --> 00:48:42,961
Your parents own half of Manhattan?
785
00:48:44,672 --> 00:48:46,381
No.
786
00:48:47,300 --> 00:48:50,969
Well, then your virtue is
quite safe with me.
787
00:48:52,013 --> 00:48:54,014
For this evening anyway.
788
00:49:01,480 --> 00:49:04,232
Come on, I'll race you. Go!
789
00:49:04,317 --> 00:49:06,484
(UPBEAT REGGAE SONG PLAYING)
790
00:49:22,835 --> 00:49:24,169
Hi.
791
00:49:36,349 --> 00:49:37,682
(SCREAMS)
792
00:49:42,438 --> 00:49:50,487
(SCREAMING)
793
00:49:59,288 --> 00:50:00,330
Smile.
794
00:50:01,040 --> 00:50:02,374
(LAUGHING)
795
00:50:03,584 --> 00:50:04,876
So, this is your profession.
796
00:50:05,961 --> 00:50:08,088
More like my obsession.
797
00:50:08,714 --> 00:50:11,508
- Does it pay the rent?
- Someday it will.
798
00:50:12,426 --> 00:50:15,595
Right now, though.
I'm waiting tables at Jerry's Deli.
799
00:50:16,222 --> 00:50:17,806
Sure, I know the place.
800
00:50:17,890 --> 00:50:19,808
Home of the famous cement Danish.
801
00:50:20,518 --> 00:50:22,060
That's the one.
802
00:50:22,561 --> 00:50:24,270
- Yeah.
- Hey!
803
00:50:25,815 --> 00:50:27,482
Don't look. It's not done.
804
00:50:27,566 --> 00:50:30,026
- This doesn't look like me.
- It's the real you.
805
00:50:30,111 --> 00:50:32,362
You've captured my innermost soul.
806
00:50:33,280 --> 00:50:34,614
(GROANING)
807
00:50:35,783 --> 00:50:37,158
Are you okay?
808
00:50:38,244 --> 00:50:39,619
Shit.
809
00:50:39,704 --> 00:50:40,912
Aw!
810
00:50:46,544 --> 00:50:51,339
We should go on one of those.
Tomorrow?
811
00:50:54,260 --> 00:50:55,844
There's a guy who makes these.
812
00:50:55,928 --> 00:50:56,970
One guy?
813
00:50:57,430 --> 00:50:58,763
He must be exhausted.
814
00:50:59,557 --> 00:51:01,057
Yes, he is.
815
00:51:01,142 --> 00:51:02,517
But still he gets up in the morning,
816
00:51:02,601 --> 00:51:05,603
he kisses his wife and
he goes to his drink- umbrella factory,
817
00:51:05,688 --> 00:51:09,190
where he rips off
1 0 billion of these a year.
818
00:51:10,151 --> 00:51:11,276
This guy's a millionaire.
819
00:51:11,694 --> 00:51:13,903
How about the guy who makes these?
820
00:51:13,988 --> 00:51:15,071
How about that guy?
821
00:51:15,156 --> 00:51:17,782
Not to mention the guy
who makes these.
822
00:51:17,908 --> 00:51:20,535
And those little wrappers
are made by another guy.
823
00:51:22,955 --> 00:51:25,498
What these plastic things
at the end of the laces?
824
00:51:26,167 --> 00:51:29,961
It's probably got one of those
weird names too like flugelbinder...
825
00:51:30,045 --> 00:51:32,213
Flugelbinders, right.
826
00:51:33,674 --> 00:51:37,260
We sit here and
we're surrounded by millionaires.
827
00:51:38,137 --> 00:51:42,223
You wrack your brains day and night to
come up with a moneymaking scheme
828
00:51:42,308 --> 00:51:45,351
and some guy corners
the flugelbinder market.
829
00:51:45,811 --> 00:51:48,354
Poor baby, he's frustrated.
830
00:51:49,982 --> 00:51:53,318
You get a barjob to keep
your days free for your real gig.
831
00:51:54,361 --> 00:51:57,405
After work, you're so charged,
you have a few drinks.
832
00:51:57,490 --> 00:51:59,324
"Hey, it's party time."
833
00:52:00,451 --> 00:52:03,244
Days get shorter and shorter,
nights, longer and longer.
834
00:52:03,329 --> 00:52:06,581
Before you know it,
your life is just one long night
835
00:52:06,665 --> 00:52:09,334
with a few comatose daylight hours.
836
00:52:11,545 --> 00:52:12,796
(CHUCKLES)
837
00:52:12,880 --> 00:52:15,298
"Stop feeling so sorry for yourself,
Flanagan."
838
00:52:15,382 --> 00:52:19,427
Hey, your flugelbinder is out there
waiting to be discovered.
839
00:52:19,845 --> 00:52:22,680
- Waiting.
- You think so?
840
00:52:22,973 --> 00:52:24,057
I do.
841
00:52:35,486 --> 00:52:37,529
(SLOW REGGAE SONG PLAYING)
842
00:53:02,596 --> 00:53:04,597
No, stay.
843
00:53:05,266 --> 00:53:06,891
Stay there.
844
00:53:10,145 --> 00:53:11,312
BRIAN: Uh- oh!
845
00:53:20,990 --> 00:53:22,156
Ta- da!
846
00:54:14,627 --> 00:54:17,545
I wish we could stay here forever.
847
00:54:17,630 --> 00:54:20,632
Build a little hut over there
on the beach.
848
00:54:20,716 --> 00:54:22,550
I'd fish and pick coconuts.
849
00:54:22,635 --> 00:54:25,303
No, I'd do the fishing
and coconut- picking.
850
00:54:25,387 --> 00:54:26,804
- No.
- Yes.
851
00:54:26,889 --> 00:54:29,098
You would make thatch skirts
to sell to the tourists.
852
00:54:29,183 --> 00:54:30,558
- Really?
- Mmm- hmm.
853
00:54:30,643 --> 00:54:32,769
Thatch one, purl two?
854
00:54:33,395 --> 00:54:36,189
Yeah, and we'd never go home.
855
00:54:37,024 --> 00:54:40,693
Our kids would look really great
in dreadlocks, too.
856
00:54:41,487 --> 00:54:43,237
Kids?
857
00:54:57,670 --> 00:55:00,463
How you making out
with that little blond chippie?
858
00:55:00,547 --> 00:55:03,716
How come I've always got the chippies
and you're always with a princess?
859
00:55:03,801 --> 00:55:06,844
That's a question only you can answer.
860
00:55:06,929 --> 00:55:08,471
This man's phenomenal.
861
00:55:08,555 --> 00:55:09,931
Put him in a room full of women
862
00:55:10,015 --> 00:55:12,725
and he goes for the poorest
and the dumbest every time.
863
00:55:12,810 --> 00:55:14,102
(MAN LAUGHING)
864
00:55:14,186 --> 00:55:16,354
The man's astounding.
865
00:55:16,438 --> 00:55:18,606
His wife parades half naked
on the beach
866
00:55:18,691 --> 00:55:20,733
and he thinks
she's just there for the sun.
867
00:55:21,193 --> 00:55:23,486
My wife does not need other men.
868
00:55:24,029 --> 00:55:26,906
You know what they say
about sexual vanity in men over 40?
869
00:55:26,991 --> 00:55:28,616
It's the first sign of senility.
870
00:55:29,076 --> 00:55:32,161
Please try to keep your envy in check.
871
00:55:32,246 --> 00:55:34,539
- BRIAN: Envy?
- He's my protégé.
872
00:55:34,873 --> 00:55:36,791
I taught him all I know.
873
00:55:36,875 --> 00:55:39,252
And with a token,
it might get me on a subway.
874
00:55:39,336 --> 00:55:41,421
You can only take a guy so far.
875
00:55:41,505 --> 00:55:44,132
Then it's a question of biology.
Biology is destiny.
876
00:55:44,216 --> 00:55:46,968
Ah! The old philosopher.
877
00:55:47,052 --> 00:55:49,303
There are two kinds of people
in this world.
878
00:55:49,638 --> 00:55:51,389
The workers and the hustlers.
879
00:55:51,473 --> 00:55:53,433
The hustlers never work
and the workers never hustle.
880
00:55:53,517 --> 00:55:56,644
And you my friend are a worker.
881
00:55:56,729 --> 00:55:58,730
God knows I've tried to beat
that instinct out of him,
882
00:55:58,814 --> 00:56:01,315
but it's ingrained in
your immigrant blood.
883
00:56:01,400 --> 00:56:04,736
Look how tasty your cocktails are,
look how clean you keep your bar.
884
00:56:04,820 --> 00:56:07,780
You actually take pride in your work.
885
00:56:10,117 --> 00:56:11,159
I do not.
886
00:56:12,244 --> 00:56:15,038
Is he or isn't he a great bartender?
887
00:56:15,122 --> 00:56:16,664
- The best.
- See? They love you.
888
00:56:19,501 --> 00:56:21,753
Listen, bozo, if you think
I'm stuck in this gig...
889
00:56:21,837 --> 00:56:23,504
Face it, you're a career proletarian.
890
00:56:23,589 --> 00:56:27,633
You've been standing in a puddle
so long you've got webbed feet.
891
00:56:27,718 --> 00:56:29,469
Just because he gets lucky
with a rich chick...
892
00:56:29,553 --> 00:56:32,555
Lucky, he says.
You couldn't do it.
893
00:56:32,639 --> 00:56:36,267
I've know this man for 3 years
and believe me, he's not a closer.
894
00:56:36,351 --> 00:56:39,771
This place is crawling
with moneyed females.
895
00:56:40,773 --> 00:56:42,899
Case in point.
896
00:56:42,983 --> 00:56:45,610
Rich and ripe and out of your league.
897
00:56:48,113 --> 00:56:49,864
- Out of my league?
- Mmm- hmm.
898
00:56:49,948 --> 00:56:52,784
She just happened to be here
checking me out the other night.
899
00:56:53,619 --> 00:56:56,954
Maybe she had 1 5 minutes to kill.
(LAUGHING)
900
00:56:58,415 --> 00:57:01,709
Know what it'd take to make a score
on a smart woman like that?
901
00:57:01,794 --> 00:57:03,211
You'd have to get over on her,
902
00:57:03,295 --> 00:57:05,755
her managers, her lawyers,
her trustees, her maid
903
00:57:05,964 --> 00:57:07,924
and her tennis coach.
904
00:57:08,008 --> 00:57:09,092
(MEN LAUGH)
905
00:57:10,052 --> 00:57:12,470
I've been training for this my whole life.
906
00:57:14,598 --> 00:57:19,393
$50 says you don't even
make it over the bar.
907
00:57:19,478 --> 00:57:21,938
(WHISTLES) Tell me.
908
00:57:22,397 --> 00:57:24,107
That's a bet.
909
00:57:24,942 --> 00:57:27,610
You guys are in on this. Be cool.
910
00:57:30,989 --> 00:57:33,908
- MademoiseIIe.
- Vodka on the rocks with a lime.
911
00:57:33,992 --> 00:57:35,993
No, this is the tropics.
912
00:57:36,328 --> 00:57:38,412
At least try a Jus d'Amour.
913
00:57:38,997 --> 00:57:40,540
- Pardon me?
- A Jus d'Amour.
914
00:57:40,624 --> 00:57:43,417
It means juice of love.
915
00:57:44,128 --> 00:57:47,130
It's made with fresh fruit
right off the vine.
916
00:57:47,714 --> 00:57:51,843
Trust me when I tell you
that it is nothing short...
917
00:57:53,720 --> 00:57:55,847
of spectacular.
918
00:57:58,809 --> 00:58:02,436
Excuse me. Do I have "fuck me"
written on my forehead?
919
00:58:02,855 --> 00:58:04,313
(SNIGGERING)
920
00:58:05,649 --> 00:58:08,025
I can't see a thing without my contacts.
921
00:58:10,028 --> 00:58:12,363
You're just full of confidence,
aren't you?
922
00:58:14,116 --> 00:58:16,159
Kinda makes you curious, don't it?
923
00:58:18,328 --> 00:58:20,121
Mighty Casey has struck out.
924
00:58:20,205 --> 00:58:23,082
WOMAN: Now, I don't...
BRIAN: Game's not over yet.
925
00:58:23,167 --> 00:58:24,208
It wouldn't be any fun
926
00:58:24,293 --> 00:58:27,211
if they fell over with
their legs in the air, would it?
927
00:58:30,382 --> 00:58:31,716
Bartender?
928
00:58:35,012 --> 00:58:36,721
Excuse me.
929
00:58:47,399 --> 00:58:49,859
BRIAN: Good night, Paul. Thanks a lot.
It was a good night.
930
00:58:54,948 --> 00:58:56,490
(BOTH LAUGHING)
931
00:58:58,577 --> 00:59:00,369
BRIAN: You are bad.
932
00:59:28,607 --> 00:59:30,733
(MELLOW REGGAE SONG PLAYING)
933
01:00:03,433 --> 01:00:04,684
(SIGHING)
934
01:00:29,710 --> 01:00:30,876
BRIAN: Hey, Dulcy.
935
01:00:32,504 --> 01:00:34,463
Where's Jordan?
936
01:00:34,923 --> 01:00:38,342
She left on a flight back
to New York late last night.
937
01:00:38,427 --> 01:00:40,052
What'd you do to her anyway?
938
01:01:03,952 --> 01:01:05,036
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
939
01:01:05,120 --> 01:01:07,872
Brian, are you there?
940
01:01:07,956 --> 01:01:09,707
It's Bonnie.
941
01:01:09,791 --> 01:01:11,792
Brian?
942
01:01:11,877 --> 01:01:12,918
Come in.
943
01:01:17,215 --> 01:01:18,632
Hi.
944
01:01:21,428 --> 01:01:23,554
You found my secret hiding place.
945
01:01:23,638 --> 01:01:25,806
The guys at the bar told me.
946
01:01:26,600 --> 01:01:28,684
I've been thinking about you all day.
947
01:01:29,686 --> 01:01:31,062
Yeah?
948
01:01:31,772 --> 01:01:34,106
The plane ride home will cure that.
949
01:01:34,483 --> 01:01:36,901
What I got there ain't no cure for.
950
01:01:37,903 --> 01:01:39,862
You can't send me away like this.
951
01:01:39,946 --> 01:01:42,239
I don't know
what'll happen to me if you do.
952
01:01:42,366 --> 01:01:43,783
My business'll go to hell.
953
01:01:44,576 --> 01:01:46,494
I'll start writing bad checks.
954
01:01:46,578 --> 01:01:48,287
We can't have that now, can we?
955
01:01:48,372 --> 01:01:50,122
No.
956
01:01:51,041 --> 01:01:52,333
(KISSES)
957
01:01:52,793 --> 01:01:54,919
You don't really want me
to go away, do you?
958
01:01:55,003 --> 01:01:56,504
(GROANING)
959
01:01:57,672 --> 01:01:59,006
(GIGGLING)
960
01:02:00,342 --> 01:02:01,634
(GROWLING PLAYFULLY)
961
01:02:07,891 --> 01:02:11,185
These drinks are going to be very tasty.
962
01:02:16,108 --> 01:02:18,275
- Into the market now, are we?
- Mmm- hmm.
963
01:02:18,985 --> 01:02:21,070
What's my greatest talent?
964
01:02:21,154 --> 01:02:23,197
Reading between the lines.
965
01:02:23,281 --> 01:02:25,866
That's what the market's all about.
966
01:02:25,951 --> 01:02:27,451
BOTH: Cheers.
967
01:02:29,955 --> 01:02:31,664
I must admit,
968
01:02:32,791 --> 01:02:35,376
I never thought
I'd see you set up like this.
969
01:02:35,919 --> 01:02:39,171
Don't you worry,
I won't forget my close friends.
970
01:02:40,215 --> 01:02:41,549
Kerry's old man has just backed me
971
01:02:41,633 --> 01:02:44,552
in the most luxurious joint
Manhattan's ever seen.
972
01:02:44,636 --> 01:02:46,720
We open in a couple of weeks.
973
01:02:46,805 --> 01:02:50,683
You come back to New York with us
and I'll make you head bartender.
974
01:02:50,809 --> 01:02:53,394
That sounds very nice,
975
01:02:53,478 --> 01:02:55,354
but I've got plans of my own.
976
01:02:56,356 --> 01:02:58,023
Like what?
977
01:02:58,150 --> 01:02:59,817
Bonnie's hooking me up
with her business.
978
01:03:00,694 --> 01:03:02,486
I'll be heading
back to New York with her.
979
01:03:03,822 --> 01:03:04,947
A kept man, eh?
980
01:03:05,991 --> 01:03:08,826
You think you made a breakthrough
cutting that blonde lose.
981
01:03:08,910 --> 01:03:10,786
Meanwhile your conscience is
killing you.
982
01:03:11,371 --> 01:03:14,540
If she hadn't left,
you'd be back there begging.
983
01:03:15,792 --> 01:03:16,876
You think so, eh?
984
01:03:17,335 --> 01:03:18,419
Uh- huh.
985
01:03:18,503 --> 01:03:22,590
And bottle of Louis XIII says you'll be
working for me by St. Patrick's Day.
986
01:03:22,674 --> 01:03:25,843
(WHISTLES) $500 bottle of brandy.
987
01:03:27,345 --> 01:03:29,138
I'll have to take that bet.
988
01:03:44,779 --> 01:03:46,238
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING ON TV)
989
01:03:46,323 --> 01:03:49,283
WOMAN ON TV:
Wake up! On your feet, come on!
990
01:03:49,367 --> 01:03:52,912
Whoo! One, two, three, four!
991
01:03:52,996 --> 01:03:55,414
Work those hips. Come on, girIs!
992
01:03:56,875 --> 01:03:58,250
FeeI it burn.
993
01:03:58,335 --> 01:03:59,919
That's right! Burn it.
994
01:04:00,003 --> 01:04:01,504
Morning, babe.
995
01:04:01,588 --> 01:04:04,215
Listen, can you get me
some carrot juice from the fridge?
996
01:04:04,716 --> 01:04:05,925
Get some for yourself, too.
997
01:04:06,718 --> 01:04:07,885
It's addictive.
998
01:04:09,179 --> 01:04:11,222
Every fucking morning.
999
01:04:13,391 --> 01:04:16,602
Just tell him not to make a move
until he's seen our line, that's all.
1000
01:04:16,686 --> 01:04:19,230
Send Harvey to Dallas right away.
1001
01:04:21,650 --> 01:04:23,150
Good, Tony.
1002
01:04:23,235 --> 01:04:25,236
Great. You are beautiful.
1003
01:04:27,697 --> 01:04:29,740
Okay, I'll be in the office in 1 5.
1004
01:04:29,824 --> 01:04:31,033
Ciao, Tony.
1005
01:04:31,868 --> 01:04:33,202
Tony?
1006
01:04:33,286 --> 01:04:35,996
Tony Scaduto, the sales manager?
1007
01:04:36,081 --> 01:04:37,289
I thought he was in Mexico.
1008
01:04:37,415 --> 01:04:39,208
He got back Friday.
1009
01:04:39,292 --> 01:04:40,876
Then I can go see him.
1010
01:04:40,961 --> 01:04:43,921
Let it wait just a smidgen longer.
1011
01:04:44,422 --> 01:04:46,840
Remember, you're picking me up
at 7:00 tonight.
1012
01:04:46,925 --> 01:04:49,093
Why don't you wear the gray pinstripe
we bought you last week?
1013
01:04:50,512 --> 01:04:51,762
Okay.
1014
01:04:52,556 --> 01:04:54,807
Did you tell him
about my marketing ideas?
1015
01:04:54,891 --> 01:04:59,103
Honey, I don't want them to think I'm
shoving my boyfriend down their throat.
1016
01:04:59,187 --> 01:05:01,188
What difference does it make?
You're the boss.
1017
01:05:01,898 --> 01:05:06,277
These guys are top salesmen.
I can't treat them like office boys.
1018
01:05:06,361 --> 01:05:07,778
Listen to me.
1019
01:05:09,573 --> 01:05:11,031
You could wait six months,
1020
01:05:11,116 --> 01:05:14,201
you'd still be the youngest
sales manager in the business.
1021
01:05:14,286 --> 01:05:15,327
Trust me, baby.
1022
01:05:41,354 --> 01:05:43,314
(INAUDIBLE)
1023
01:05:57,037 --> 01:05:58,412
(TAXI HONKING)
1024
01:05:58,496 --> 01:06:01,290
TAXI DRIVER: Hey!
Get that heap out of the way!
1025
01:06:01,374 --> 01:06:03,959
- How am I gonna get out of here?
- LIMO DRIVER: Cool down, buddy.
1026
01:06:04,044 --> 01:06:05,919
TAXI DRIVER:
You limo drivers are all alike.
1027
01:06:06,004 --> 01:06:08,422
You stand around
with your finger up your ass.
1028
01:06:08,506 --> 01:06:09,798
LIMO DRIVER: Give us a break.
1029
01:06:09,883 --> 01:06:11,508
MAN: You'll give him a heart attack.
1030
01:06:15,513 --> 01:06:16,764
Art!
1031
01:06:16,848 --> 01:06:18,349
Hello!
1032
01:06:18,725 --> 01:06:21,727
So good to see you.
Hello, darling.
1033
01:06:22,354 --> 01:06:24,938
God, it's been ages.
1034
01:06:25,023 --> 01:06:26,065
Hi.
1035
01:06:26,149 --> 01:06:28,067
You look fabulous in that coat.
1036
01:06:28,151 --> 01:06:30,444
That color is gorgeous on you.
1037
01:06:30,528 --> 01:06:32,446
Darling?
1038
01:06:34,074 --> 01:06:36,200
What a drag.
She said she was totally sorry.
1039
01:06:37,869 --> 01:06:39,745
Take my coat, will you?
1040
01:06:48,171 --> 01:06:49,922
I like that piece there.
1041
01:06:53,551 --> 01:06:55,678
How are you?
1042
01:06:56,388 --> 01:06:57,971
(BONNIE GIGGLING)
1043
01:07:04,854 --> 01:07:07,481
Bonnie, let's get out of here.
1044
01:07:07,565 --> 01:07:09,858
Darling, I think
you've had enough to drink.
1045
01:07:09,943 --> 01:07:11,318
Brian.
1046
01:07:11,403 --> 01:07:13,028
What, are we playing
musical high balls here?
1047
01:07:13,113 --> 01:07:14,488
Heel, boy.
1048
01:07:14,572 --> 01:07:15,572
Come again?
1049
01:07:15,657 --> 01:07:17,991
Haven't gotten
this one party- broken, have you?
1050
01:07:18,076 --> 01:07:20,828
This is Robert Powell,
he's the sculptor.
1051
01:07:20,912 --> 01:07:21,912
Oh!
1052
01:07:23,331 --> 01:07:25,249
How do you do?
1053
01:07:25,333 --> 01:07:27,334
- Interesting work.
- Thank you.
1054
01:07:27,419 --> 01:07:30,713
It's very urban in orientation.
1055
01:07:31,297 --> 01:07:32,464
Robert, tell me.
1056
01:07:32,549 --> 01:07:36,510
How did you get the cockroach
to stand still...
1057
01:07:36,594 --> 01:07:38,470
You're drunk.
1058
01:07:39,764 --> 01:07:40,931
And you're ugly.
1059
01:07:42,726 --> 01:07:43,726
(GROANS)
1060
01:07:43,810 --> 01:07:45,060
BONNIE: Brian!
1061
01:07:46,020 --> 01:07:47,938
BRIAN: Could you hold this?
1062
01:07:50,775 --> 01:07:52,151
I'm okay.
1063
01:07:53,319 --> 01:07:54,695
(GROANING)
1064
01:07:55,321 --> 01:07:56,947
(PEOPLE EXCLAIMING)
1065
01:07:57,782 --> 01:07:59,658
How could you do this?
1066
01:07:59,743 --> 01:08:01,577
BRIAN: Have a nice day!
1067
01:08:11,546 --> 01:08:13,046
Come on, this suspense is killing me.
1068
01:08:13,131 --> 01:08:14,923
At least you could apologize.
1069
01:08:15,008 --> 01:08:16,842
Apologize?
1070
01:08:17,385 --> 01:08:20,471
- Yes.
- We have to talk about this seriously.
1071
01:08:23,183 --> 01:08:26,685
Talk is overrated as a means
of resolving disputes.
1072
01:08:31,900 --> 01:08:34,485
I moved my stuff out of your place
this afternoon.
1073
01:08:35,361 --> 01:08:37,279
Left a can of Spam in the refrigerator.
1074
01:08:37,363 --> 01:08:39,364
I hope your Brewer's yeast
doesn't take it personally.
1075
01:08:39,991 --> 01:08:41,742
Bastard!
1076
01:08:41,826 --> 01:08:43,035
(GRUNTS ANGRILY)
1077
01:08:43,119 --> 01:08:44,828
Shit!
1078
01:08:45,455 --> 01:08:47,331
Oh, God, I'm sorry.
1079
01:08:49,709 --> 01:08:51,543
I'm... Brian.
1080
01:08:51,628 --> 01:08:53,253
Listen, baby.
1081
01:08:53,338 --> 01:08:54,922
I've got some interviews
set up for tomorrow.
1082
01:08:55,006 --> 01:08:56,590
Forget it!
1083
01:08:56,674 --> 01:08:58,592
I am not a salesman.
1084
01:08:59,093 --> 01:09:02,805
I tried to sell out to you,
but I couldn't close the deal.
1085
01:09:02,889 --> 01:09:04,348
Please.
1086
01:09:04,891 --> 01:09:06,725
I don't want to end it this way.
1087
01:09:06,810 --> 01:09:10,729
Jesus, everything ends badly,
otherwise it wouldn't end.
1088
01:09:11,564 --> 01:09:12,606
Believe me.
1089
01:09:12,690 --> 01:09:15,984
You'll wake up in the
morning with a sigh of relief
1090
01:09:16,069 --> 01:09:17,778
because I'm not there.
1091
01:09:42,637 --> 01:09:44,388
(LOUD MUSIC PLAYING)
1092
01:09:58,486 --> 01:10:01,071
- Waitress.
- I'll be there in a second.
1093
01:10:05,285 --> 01:10:08,829
Excuse me, could you tell me
what the specials are please?
1094
01:10:08,913 --> 01:10:10,414
What are you doing here?
1095
01:10:11,249 --> 01:10:13,208
Bet you thought
you'd never see me again.
1096
01:10:13,751 --> 01:10:15,127
"Hoped" is a better word.
1097
01:10:15,211 --> 01:10:17,588
- WOMAN: Excuse me.
- I'll be there in a minute.
1098
01:10:18,089 --> 01:10:19,923
Miss, we have theater tickets.
1099
01:10:20,258 --> 01:10:22,217
You obviously are not here to eat,
1100
01:10:22,302 --> 01:10:23,719
so I'd appreciate it if you'd leave.
1101
01:10:23,803 --> 01:10:26,763
- MAN: Miss!
- I'll be there in a minute!
1102
01:10:27,098 --> 01:10:28,807
I'm not leaving.
1103
01:10:29,225 --> 01:10:31,518
Your sexy, little smile
is not gonna work this time.
1104
01:10:33,438 --> 01:10:35,314
I'm not leaving. That's it.
1105
01:10:35,773 --> 01:10:37,065
You're not leaving?
1106
01:10:38,192 --> 01:10:40,193
Not until you let me apologize.
1107
01:10:41,821 --> 01:10:44,698
Did you say you'd like
to see the specials, sir?
1108
01:10:44,782 --> 01:10:45,991
I'd like to see the specials.
1109
01:10:53,750 --> 01:10:56,251
Look, we've been waiting...
1110
01:10:56,336 --> 01:10:58,962
Today's specials are
Meatloaf Mozzarella,
1111
01:10:59,297 --> 01:11:00,297
(GRUNTS)
1112
01:11:00,381 --> 01:11:02,007
Chicken á la King.
1113
01:11:02,091 --> 01:11:03,091
(SIGHS)
1114
01:11:03,801 --> 01:11:07,054
May I suggest
some ketchup for your fries.
1115
01:11:10,600 --> 01:11:12,351
Fuck.
1116
01:11:17,482 --> 01:11:19,274
BRIAN: Shit.
1117
01:11:20,485 --> 01:11:21,860
(CHUCKLING)
1118
01:11:23,196 --> 01:11:26,573
I'd think twice about
ordering the specials if I were you.
1119
01:11:36,834 --> 01:11:39,503
Spare change for my dry cleaning?
1120
01:11:39,587 --> 01:11:41,421
JORDAN: Sorry. Payday's Friday.
1121
01:11:41,506 --> 01:11:43,757
You wouldn't treat a stray dog like this.
1122
01:11:43,841 --> 01:11:46,301
A stray dog can be loyal.
1123
01:11:46,386 --> 01:11:48,804
All right, I'm a rat
and there's no hope for me.
1124
01:11:48,888 --> 01:11:51,682
But even I have a right to
defend myself,
1125
01:11:51,766 --> 01:11:54,101
or at least to explain.
1126
01:11:55,103 --> 01:11:56,353
JORDAN: Taxi!
1127
01:11:58,231 --> 01:11:59,898
Come on in.
1128
01:12:18,418 --> 01:12:20,794
Is this our waterfall?
1129
01:12:20,878 --> 01:12:22,087
No.
1130
01:12:22,755 --> 01:12:25,007
It's terrific.
1131
01:12:25,091 --> 01:12:28,427
Yeah, it's all right.
Name's Mooney, not Monet.
1132
01:12:31,556 --> 01:12:35,934
So, why did you humiliate me
like that in Jamaica?
1133
01:12:37,687 --> 01:12:39,271
How did I humiliate you?
1134
01:12:40,106 --> 01:12:41,648
Brian, I was there.
1135
01:12:41,733 --> 01:12:44,109
I saw you go off with that woman.
1136
01:12:45,570 --> 01:12:47,612
You're such an asshole.
1137
01:12:55,204 --> 01:12:57,372
It's not as bad as it seems.
1138
01:12:57,832 --> 01:13:00,208
Doug landed a rich chick,
1139
01:13:01,461 --> 01:13:04,004
and that night he bet me
that I couldn't do the same.
1140
01:13:04,088 --> 01:13:08,258
A rich chick? You'd go with a woman
just because she had money.
1141
01:13:08,342 --> 01:13:10,302
No, it's not the money.
1142
01:13:10,386 --> 01:13:13,972
He bet me that I wasn't
good enough to hustle her.
1143
01:13:14,515 --> 01:13:16,516
Hustle her?
1144
01:13:16,601 --> 01:13:18,268
I was worth so little to you
1145
01:13:18,352 --> 01:13:20,520
that you could just take
some stupid juvenile bet?
1146
01:13:20,605 --> 01:13:24,232
No. A guy lays down a dare,
you gotta take it.
1147
01:13:25,818 --> 01:13:29,613
Brian, how do you think I felt
seeing you go off with some woman
1148
01:13:29,697 --> 01:13:31,448
after the time we spent together?
1149
01:13:31,532 --> 01:13:34,201
Hold on.
You were pushing me down there.
1150
01:13:34,285 --> 01:13:36,787
You were coming on too strong, too fast.
1151
01:13:37,288 --> 01:13:38,914
Oh, I was pushing you?
1152
01:13:38,998 --> 01:13:40,916
You happened to be there, too.
1153
01:13:41,000 --> 01:13:44,628
I thought we had something going.
I didn't play any games with you.
1154
01:13:44,837 --> 01:13:46,546
I know.
1155
01:13:48,758 --> 01:13:50,050
(SIGHING)
1156
01:13:50,468 --> 01:13:52,260
I'm sorry...
1157
01:13:53,930 --> 01:13:55,806
I guess I just got spooked.
1158
01:13:56,933 --> 01:14:00,685
But now I know I can handle it.
1159
01:14:00,770 --> 01:14:02,687
Oh, you can handle it, huh?
1160
01:14:04,315 --> 01:14:06,191
What if you got spooked again?
1161
01:14:06,901 --> 01:14:08,401
I won't.
1162
01:14:08,486 --> 01:14:11,321
- I'll bet I can spook you.
- No way.
1163
01:14:13,241 --> 01:14:14,825
I'm pregnant.
1164
01:14:16,577 --> 01:14:18,161
I'm spooked.
1165
01:14:20,289 --> 01:14:21,832
It's mine?
1166
01:14:22,834 --> 01:14:27,295
- I was only asking!
- You're not going to be burdened.
1167
01:14:27,380 --> 01:14:30,382
You can still go out and make a million.
Don't worry.
1168
01:14:30,466 --> 01:14:33,969
I'm not worried.
I mean, I am worried.
1169
01:14:34,053 --> 01:14:36,763
I don't want to talk about it anymore.
1170
01:14:36,848 --> 01:14:38,348
Just go!
1171
01:14:38,641 --> 01:14:41,810
- Why?
- Because I want you to! Just go!
1172
01:14:45,189 --> 01:14:48,191
You let me come up here just so
you could kick me out. Didn't you?
1173
01:14:48,317 --> 01:14:49,317
Mmm- hmm.
1174
01:15:01,873 --> 01:15:03,206
(SOBBING) No.
1175
01:15:05,501 --> 01:15:07,377
No, just get out!
1176
01:15:08,254 --> 01:15:09,254
I know you're upset,
1177
01:15:09,338 --> 01:15:12,215
but if this is the way it's gonna be,
why'd you tell me about the baby?
1178
01:15:13,009 --> 01:15:16,511
Because I knew it would be
the best way to get you out of my life.
1179
01:15:32,236 --> 01:15:33,695
(DOOR SHUTS)
1180
01:15:34,614 --> 01:15:35,989
(SNIFFLING)
1181
01:15:41,579 --> 01:15:42,537
COMMENTATOR:
Madison Square Garden,
1182
01:15:42,622 --> 01:15:44,664
Syracuse trying to stay
within striking distance...
1183
01:15:47,585 --> 01:15:50,045
That's for cigarette change!
1184
01:15:50,129 --> 01:15:52,005
When you hand it to me, it's for change.
1185
01:15:52,089 --> 01:15:55,675
When you put it on the edge of the bar,
it's a tip.
1186
01:15:55,801 --> 01:15:58,970
- Hey, kid!
- Hi, Uncle Pat, Ed. How are you?
1187
01:16:00,431 --> 01:16:02,432
I got a problem.
Got time for a quick talk?
1188
01:16:02,516 --> 01:16:05,060
Make it fast. I'm real busy here.
1189
01:16:10,233 --> 01:16:11,274
What's the matter?
1190
01:16:15,780 --> 01:16:17,447
I'm going to be a father.
1191
01:16:19,283 --> 01:16:21,660
- That's it, bar's closed. Finish up.
- WOMAN: Come on!
1192
01:16:21,744 --> 01:16:23,411
Come on, hit the road.
Let's go.
1193
01:16:23,496 --> 01:16:26,289
- Eddie, finish up. Everybody out.
- What?
1194
01:16:28,125 --> 01:16:31,795
You ought to know better than to come
to a bartender for advice.
1195
01:16:32,546 --> 01:16:34,464
What am I going to do about this girl?
1196
01:16:34,548 --> 01:16:35,882
Nothing.
1197
01:16:36,509 --> 01:16:37,676
What do you mean, nothing?
1198
01:16:38,302 --> 01:16:40,220
She's not trying to shake you down,
1199
01:16:40,304 --> 01:16:42,764
not making you marry her,
you don't care about her.
1200
01:16:42,848 --> 01:16:44,099
You can walk away
from the whole thing.
1201
01:16:47,895 --> 01:16:49,646
What if I do care about her?
1202
01:16:50,106 --> 01:16:51,523
Then you got a problem.
1203
01:16:53,985 --> 01:16:55,694
(BANGING ON DOOR)
1204
01:16:56,487 --> 01:16:58,989
Jordan, I just want to talk to you.
1205
01:17:00,491 --> 01:17:03,576
She's not hiding.
She's not home.
1206
01:17:03,661 --> 01:17:06,162
She's at her parents' place.
Go bang down their door.
1207
01:17:06,497 --> 01:17:08,498
You wouldn't happen to know
where that is, would you?
1208
01:17:09,041 --> 01:17:11,126
Sure, Park Avenue. Corner of 67th.
1209
01:17:13,379 --> 01:17:16,047
- Park Avenue?
- Yeah.
1210
01:17:17,049 --> 01:17:18,508
(DOOR SHUTS)
1211
01:17:22,847 --> 01:17:24,597
RECEPTIONIST: You get here
when you say you will,
1212
01:17:24,682 --> 01:17:26,516
or you won't work in this building again.
1213
01:17:26,600 --> 01:17:28,143
Excuse me.
1214
01:17:28,227 --> 01:17:29,769
So you'll be here what time?
1215
01:17:29,854 --> 01:17:31,604
I don't mean to bother you...
1216
01:17:31,689 --> 01:17:33,606
What time did you say you'd be here?
1217
01:17:33,691 --> 01:17:35,275
Hello?
1218
01:17:35,359 --> 01:17:37,402
Sorry, what apartment
are the Mooneys in?
1219
01:17:37,486 --> 01:17:39,654
It's a penthouse.
Your name, please?
1220
01:17:39,739 --> 01:17:42,282
- Brian Flanagan.
- Are the Mooneys expecting you?
1221
01:17:42,366 --> 01:17:43,700
No, not exactly.
1222
01:17:43,784 --> 01:17:47,037
All visitors have to be announced,
Mr. Flanagan.
1223
01:17:52,043 --> 01:17:53,877
(DOORBELL RINGS)
1224
01:17:59,216 --> 01:18:01,885
Mr. Flanagan,
would you come in, please?
1225
01:18:01,969 --> 01:18:04,554
- May I take your coat, sir?
- Okay.
1226
01:18:08,100 --> 01:18:10,226
There'll be someone with you
in a moment.
1227
01:18:10,311 --> 01:18:11,561
Thank you.
1228
01:18:30,081 --> 01:18:31,331
I'm Richard Mooney.
1229
01:18:32,583 --> 01:18:35,418
- I'm Jordan's father.
- I'm Brian Flanagan.
1230
01:18:36,420 --> 01:18:38,671
- I've come to see her.
- She's not here.
1231
01:18:38,756 --> 01:18:40,757
But come in.
1232
01:18:40,841 --> 01:18:42,634
I'd like to talk to you.
1233
01:18:46,764 --> 01:18:48,098
Sit down.
1234
01:18:52,853 --> 01:18:56,648
I've certainly heard a lot about you
in the last couple of days.
1235
01:18:59,568 --> 01:19:02,695
I don't know what really happened
between the two of you, but...
1236
01:19:03,948 --> 01:19:06,866
I must say, you've got a lot of nerve
1237
01:19:06,951 --> 01:19:09,077
coming up here after
what you did to Jordan.
1238
01:19:09,161 --> 01:19:11,204
I understand that,
1239
01:19:11,288 --> 01:19:13,998
and I realize that Jordan is very upset.
1240
01:19:15,126 --> 01:19:16,584
But if I could talk to her, make her see
1241
01:19:16,669 --> 01:19:19,087
that I'm gonna
stick by her through this...
1242
01:19:19,171 --> 01:19:21,714
I hope you're not suggesting
that you'll marry her.
1243
01:19:24,802 --> 01:19:25,844
(SIGHS)
1244
01:19:25,928 --> 01:19:29,514
I'm not sure what we're gonna do.
We have a lot to talk about...
1245
01:19:29,598 --> 01:19:32,809
The hell you do!
1246
01:19:34,019 --> 01:19:37,105
Look, I know Jordan a lot better
than you do,
1247
01:19:37,189 --> 01:19:39,858
and I've never seen her
as unhappy as she is at this moment.
1248
01:19:40,317 --> 01:19:43,486
She is just not very wise
in the ways of the world.
1249
01:19:43,571 --> 01:19:47,240
Right now, what she needs around
are people she can trust.
1250
01:19:47,324 --> 01:19:50,452
- She can trust me.
- She doesn't want to see you.
1251
01:19:51,370 --> 01:19:53,329
She doesn't even want to talk to you.
1252
01:19:54,957 --> 01:19:57,792
Just wait here one moment,
will you please?
1253
01:19:59,503 --> 01:20:01,004
(SIGHS)
1254
01:20:07,887 --> 01:20:09,679
- Good afternoon, Miss Mooney.
- Hi.
1255
01:20:15,227 --> 01:20:18,771
- Mr. Mooney, I think I'm just gonna...
- Flanagan, here.
1256
01:20:19,440 --> 01:20:21,774
- What the hell's this?
- That's for you.
1257
01:20:25,988 --> 01:20:28,615
$1 0,000.
1258
01:20:29,867 --> 01:20:34,120
- Is that all your daughter's worth?
- How much will it take?
1259
01:20:34,497 --> 01:20:36,206
I don't want your goddamn money.
1260
01:20:37,208 --> 01:20:39,667
You can't buy me out of Jordan's life!
1261
01:20:40,002 --> 01:20:42,754
You think I'd let some bartender
destroy my daughter's life?
1262
01:20:42,838 --> 01:20:45,465
- That is her choice!
- The hell you say!
1263
01:20:45,549 --> 01:20:47,509
JORDAN: What is going on here?
1264
01:20:48,052 --> 01:20:50,011
Jordan, I came here to talk to you.
1265
01:20:50,095 --> 01:20:53,806
- If you don't get out of here...
- Dad, I'll handle this!
1266
01:20:55,017 --> 01:20:57,810
I know the other night
I didn't say the right things.
1267
01:20:57,895 --> 01:21:00,063
God knows I have not done
the right things.
1268
01:21:01,065 --> 01:21:03,733
But I think there's a chance for us.
1269
01:21:04,485 --> 01:21:06,152
Brian, there is no "us."
1270
01:21:06,237 --> 01:21:08,821
There are too many things
about "us" that don't work.
1271
01:21:08,906 --> 01:21:10,740
What about the baby?
1272
01:21:10,824 --> 01:21:13,368
A kid, I mean, our kid needs a father.
1273
01:21:14,912 --> 01:21:17,038
Not one that won't be around in a year.
1274
01:21:17,122 --> 01:21:19,874
With your lifestyle,
what kind of father would you be?
1275
01:21:21,126 --> 01:21:24,504
Jordan, I want a second chance.
1276
01:21:26,048 --> 01:21:27,298
No.
1277
01:21:27,383 --> 01:21:30,510
- I deserve a second chance.
- No.
1278
01:21:31,804 --> 01:21:35,014
How will I ever know
that you're being honest with me?
1279
01:21:35,099 --> 01:21:37,141
You can barely be honest with yourself.
1280
01:21:37,226 --> 01:21:38,768
Honest?
1281
01:21:38,852 --> 01:21:40,770
Were you so honest?
1282
01:21:40,854 --> 01:21:43,356
Why didn't you tell me
you were the original rich chick?
1283
01:21:43,440 --> 01:21:45,733
Because you're so hung up on money,
1284
01:21:45,818 --> 01:21:49,779
I was afraid I'd never know
how you felt about me.
1285
01:21:49,863 --> 01:21:53,116
Me! How you'd really feel about me.
1286
01:21:56,453 --> 01:21:57,829
See this?
1287
01:21:59,081 --> 01:22:03,126
This is your father's idea
of how to get me out of your life.
1288
01:22:07,131 --> 01:22:11,134
This is how hung up on money I am.
1289
01:22:12,636 --> 01:22:14,470
As for the way I feel about you,
1290
01:22:16,890 --> 01:22:19,225
I guess you'll never know.
1291
01:22:28,736 --> 01:22:30,778
WOMAN 1: Let me in!
1292
01:22:30,863 --> 01:22:32,363
WOMAN 2: Hey, what about us?
1293
01:22:32,448 --> 01:22:34,115
We've been here for two hours!
1294
01:22:34,199 --> 01:22:36,701
MAN: Let us in, Henry. It's cold out here.
1295
01:22:36,785 --> 01:22:37,910
WOMAN 3: Henry? Remember me?
1296
01:22:37,995 --> 01:22:39,912
WOMAN 4:
I'm Bruce Springsteen's cousin.
1297
01:22:39,997 --> 01:22:41,914
- You look more like his couch.
- MAN: Henry!
1298
01:22:41,999 --> 01:22:44,042
I'm Doug's friend.
1299
01:22:44,126 --> 01:22:47,045
Mr. Coughlin doesn't have any friends
on a Saturday night.
1300
01:22:47,129 --> 01:22:49,505
- BRIAN: Good evening, Henry.
- Hey!
1301
01:22:49,715 --> 01:22:51,507
(POP SONG PLAYING)
1302
01:22:55,596 --> 01:22:58,681
- Where's Doug Coughlin?
- Over there.
1303
01:22:59,600 --> 01:23:01,351
Hey, you!
1304
01:23:01,685 --> 01:23:02,852
Doug!
1305
01:23:03,270 --> 01:23:05,480
- Coughlin! Doug!
- Flanagan!
1306
01:23:06,273 --> 01:23:08,941
My best friend in the world!
My only friend!
1307
01:23:09,360 --> 01:23:10,860
Piss off, Henry. It's okay.
1308
01:23:10,944 --> 01:23:14,280
It's great to see you, my only friend.
Sit down.
1309
01:23:14,365 --> 01:23:17,033
It looks like you've got
a lot of friends here this evening.
1310
01:23:17,117 --> 01:23:18,868
- Proctologist's dream.
- What?
1311
01:23:18,952 --> 01:23:20,953
- Wall- to- wall assholes.
- (CHUCKLING)
1312
01:23:21,038 --> 01:23:24,832
- Great to see you, Flanagan.
- I've come to pay off my bet.
1313
01:23:24,917 --> 01:23:27,251
- Brian!
- Kerry!
1314
01:23:29,630 --> 01:23:31,089
What are you doing here?
1315
01:23:31,799 --> 01:23:34,092
BRIAN: I've come
to beg and plead for a job.
1316
01:23:34,385 --> 01:23:37,512
It'd be great to get some talent
behind the bar.
1317
01:23:51,068 --> 01:23:53,569
Let's go somewhere where
we can appreciate this.
1318
01:23:53,654 --> 01:23:55,113
Come on.
1319
01:24:03,580 --> 01:24:05,164
DOUG: Get in there.
1320
01:24:05,249 --> 01:24:07,333
Get in there and spend some money.
1321
01:24:07,418 --> 01:24:09,585
Keep me in the manner
I'm accustomed to.
1322
01:24:09,670 --> 01:24:12,755
Get in there and spend some money,
you two.
1323
01:24:13,215 --> 01:24:15,258
What do you think of my rowboat?
1324
01:24:16,677 --> 01:24:18,761
BRIAN: Jesus Christ!
1325
01:24:18,846 --> 01:24:20,346
DOUG: Come aboard, ye landlubber!
1326
01:24:24,810 --> 01:24:26,728
BRIAN: Baccarat crystal.
1327
01:24:27,604 --> 01:24:29,939
Louis XIII. VoiIá.
1328
01:24:31,108 --> 01:24:33,067
Should we let it breathe?
1329
01:24:33,152 --> 01:24:36,779
It hasn't breathed in 50 years.
It's dead.
1330
01:24:36,864 --> 01:24:38,573
Let's just drink it.
1331
01:24:50,836 --> 01:24:54,505
- Health and friendship?
- Life and love.
1332
01:25:03,599 --> 01:25:08,895
Douglas Coughlin,
your ship has certainly come in!
1333
01:25:08,979 --> 01:25:09,979
(LAUGHS)
1334
01:25:12,399 --> 01:25:13,816
My ship.
1335
01:25:14,985 --> 01:25:19,238
My ship is going down,
and I'm going down with it.
1336
01:25:19,323 --> 01:25:21,657
- How's that?
- All this is an illusion.
1337
01:25:22,826 --> 01:25:25,787
I'm on my ass.
I haven't got a pot to piss in.
1338
01:25:26,121 --> 01:25:27,205
Mmm.
1339
01:25:27,956 --> 01:25:30,333
$1 00,000 a week. Painful.
1340
01:25:31,668 --> 01:25:35,213
I should've read some of
your sacred books, young Flanagan.
1341
01:25:36,507 --> 01:25:40,927
The only thing I know about saloons is
how to pour whiskey and run my mouth.
1342
01:25:41,553 --> 01:25:44,555
I knew nothing about insurance,
1343
01:25:46,308 --> 01:25:51,813
or sales tax, or the building code,
or labor costs,
1344
01:25:51,897 --> 01:25:55,441
or the power company,
or purchasing, or linens.
1345
01:25:55,526 --> 01:25:58,027
Everyone with a hand
stuck it in my pocket.
1346
01:25:58,111 --> 01:26:00,029
You must make enough to cover that.
1347
01:26:00,364 --> 01:26:04,534
If I'd stuck to what I know best,
which is almost nothing.
1348
01:26:05,994 --> 01:26:09,789
Instead I put all the cash
into commodities.
1349
01:26:09,873 --> 01:26:13,042
And blew the fucking lot.
1350
01:26:13,293 --> 01:26:14,293
(CHUCKLES)
1351
01:26:14,378 --> 01:26:18,840
On the margin.
Buy, cover, buy, cover.
1352
01:26:19,800 --> 01:26:22,385
I wanted it fast.
1353
01:26:25,556 --> 01:26:27,682
See the headlines.
1354
01:26:27,766 --> 01:26:32,645
"Douglas Coughlin:
From bartender to billionaire."
1355
01:26:32,896 --> 01:26:34,730
(CHUCKLES MIRTHLESSLY)
1356
01:26:38,735 --> 01:26:40,403
Hey, take it easy.
1357
01:26:40,487 --> 01:26:41,571
Relax.
1358
01:26:42,614 --> 01:26:46,325
The luck is gone, the brain is shot.
1359
01:26:46,410 --> 01:26:48,995
But the liquor, we still got.
1360
01:26:52,708 --> 01:26:54,542
KERRY: Doug?
1361
01:26:56,044 --> 01:26:58,087
Are you down there?
1362
01:26:58,171 --> 01:27:03,092
She knows nothing about this.
She thinks I'm a fucking hero.
1363
01:27:09,141 --> 01:27:13,686
DOUG: My princess. My dream.
1364
01:27:13,770 --> 01:27:16,606
Baby, not again.
1365
01:27:16,690 --> 01:27:18,149
I want to go home.
1366
01:27:18,859 --> 01:27:20,026
Come here.
1367
01:27:21,612 --> 01:27:22,820
Toast, Flanagan.
1368
01:27:23,864 --> 01:27:27,533
To the first and last person
I ever cared about.
1369
01:27:29,620 --> 01:27:31,287
My wife.
1370
01:27:31,371 --> 01:27:32,580
Doug?
1371
01:27:34,082 --> 01:27:36,125
Doug, wake up.
1372
01:27:36,209 --> 01:27:38,461
I want to go home.
1373
01:28:00,233 --> 01:28:03,945
You know you're the only person
in the world Doug respects?
1374
01:28:06,448 --> 01:28:08,491
We were a good team once.
1375
01:28:10,369 --> 01:28:12,370
Walk me to my apartment.
1376
01:28:12,454 --> 01:28:14,830
I hate going to that place alone.
1377
01:28:18,835 --> 01:28:21,337
- I better check on Doug.
- Please?
1378
01:28:22,673 --> 01:28:24,757
I want to talk about Doug.
1379
01:28:24,841 --> 01:28:26,592
About his problems.
1380
01:29:04,297 --> 01:29:07,633
Doug says
you're incredible with women.
1381
01:29:07,718 --> 01:29:10,052
A real lady- killer.
1382
01:29:10,137 --> 01:29:11,971
Is that what he says?
1383
01:29:13,223 --> 01:29:15,182
What's your secret weapon?
1384
01:29:16,643 --> 01:29:20,229
What you see is what you get.
1385
01:29:39,082 --> 01:29:41,500
- Hold it.
- What'd you do that for?
1386
01:29:42,419 --> 01:29:43,753
(SIGHING)
1387
01:29:46,590 --> 01:29:49,967
I can't make it
with my best friend's old lady.
1388
01:29:51,887 --> 01:29:54,138
Am I supposed to
live with the same man,
1389
01:29:54,222 --> 01:29:56,557
day in and day out, forever,
1390
01:29:56,641 --> 01:29:58,559
and have no one else in my life?
1391
01:29:58,643 --> 01:30:01,145
Yes. It's called marriage.
1392
01:30:01,229 --> 01:30:03,272
You wanted this as much as I did.
1393
01:30:03,356 --> 01:30:05,066
That's why you're up here.
1394
01:30:05,150 --> 01:30:06,692
But you can't do it now, can you?
1395
01:30:07,694 --> 01:30:08,819
You're scared.
1396
01:30:11,615 --> 01:30:13,532
I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.
1397
01:30:13,909 --> 01:30:15,534
- You're just scared!
- (DOOR SLAMS SHUT)
1398
01:30:40,018 --> 01:30:41,393
BRIAN: Hey, Doug!
1399
01:30:52,697 --> 01:30:57,034
Help me!
Somebody help me!
1400
01:30:59,329 --> 01:31:01,831
Somebody help me!
1401
01:31:09,089 --> 01:31:10,506
(INAUDIBLE)
1402
01:31:14,302 --> 01:31:16,971
POLICEMAN: Is there anything
you can tell me about what happened?
1403
01:31:52,924 --> 01:31:55,926
PRIEST: "The Lord is my shepherd,
I shall not want..."
1404
01:32:26,499 --> 01:32:27,750
(SIGHS)
1405
01:32:36,384 --> 01:32:39,303
DOUG: My dearest Brian,
1406
01:32:39,387 --> 01:32:41,680
a guy like me looks in the mirror.
1407
01:32:41,765 --> 01:32:44,725
He either grins
or he starts to fade away,
1408
01:32:45,435 --> 01:32:48,604
and l haven't seen anything
to grin about in a long time.
1409
01:32:50,315 --> 01:32:56,028
This may not be the most graceful exit,
but l know when the bottle's empty,
1410
01:32:56,112 --> 01:32:59,031
that the only thing
l'm really gonna miss
1411
01:32:59,115 --> 01:33:01,533
is the conversations we had going.
1412
01:33:03,119 --> 01:33:07,122
At least l get the last word,
even if I had to maiI it in.
1413
01:33:08,875 --> 01:33:13,295
CoughIin's Law: Bury the dead,
they stink up the joint.
1414
01:33:13,880 --> 01:33:16,548
The rest of CoughIin's Laws, ignore.
1415
01:33:17,008 --> 01:33:19,301
The guy was always full of shit.
1416
01:33:19,970 --> 01:33:21,553
(DOUG CHUCKLING)
1417
01:33:23,014 --> 01:33:25,557
But l guess you knew that already.
1418
01:33:50,333 --> 01:33:52,960
- Mooney's apartment, Brian...
- I know who you are.
1419
01:33:53,044 --> 01:33:55,254
I've been instructed
not to let you in here.
1420
01:33:55,338 --> 01:33:57,172
- If you'll just call...
- Leave now!
1421
01:33:58,008 --> 01:34:00,759
I just want to
talk to her for a few minutes,
1422
01:34:00,844 --> 01:34:02,261
I don't want to cause any trouble.
1423
01:34:02,345 --> 01:34:05,431
- Send her a letter. Out!
- Get your hands off me, man.
1424
01:34:05,515 --> 01:34:06,890
Out!
1425
01:34:10,395 --> 01:34:11,854
Hey!
1426
01:34:23,033 --> 01:34:25,826
- Where's Jordan?
- She's in there.
1427
01:34:25,910 --> 01:34:27,411
But you can't go in there!
1428
01:34:27,495 --> 01:34:28,579
Open the door!
1429
01:34:28,663 --> 01:34:30,372
Jordan?
1430
01:34:30,957 --> 01:34:32,333
Jordan!
1431
01:34:32,417 --> 01:34:34,084
- I have to talk to you.
- What's going on?
1432
01:34:34,169 --> 01:34:37,588
Please, there's so many things,
I don't know where to begin.
1433
01:34:37,672 --> 01:34:38,714
Doug is dead.
1434
01:34:39,591 --> 01:34:40,632
What?
1435
01:34:40,717 --> 01:34:43,635
- He killed himself.
- Brian!
1436
01:34:43,720 --> 01:34:46,555
He was my best friend,
but he was too proud to let me help him.
1437
01:34:46,639 --> 01:34:49,683
He was too proud to show
how he felt until it was too late.
1438
01:34:49,768 --> 01:34:51,518
I don't want to make that same mistake.
1439
01:34:54,230 --> 01:34:55,522
...into the sitting room...
1440
01:34:55,607 --> 01:34:58,233
I thought I told you to keep
that punk out of this house!
1441
01:34:58,318 --> 01:35:00,361
- RECEPTIONIST: He got by me.
- Jordan, are you in there?
1442
01:35:00,695 --> 01:35:04,323
I have saved money. I've worked out
a loan with my uncle for some more.
1443
01:35:04,407 --> 01:35:07,868
With hard work, I know I can turn it
into something great.
1444
01:35:07,952 --> 01:35:11,789
Brian, I know you can,
but it doesn't really matter.
1445
01:35:11,873 --> 01:35:12,915
Listen to me!
1446
01:35:12,999 --> 01:35:15,209
Get me the key!
1447
01:35:15,710 --> 01:35:17,294
I love you! I want to marry you.
1448
01:35:17,837 --> 01:35:20,255
I've loved you from the first moment
I saw you, Jordan.
1449
01:35:20,632 --> 01:35:23,384
Please, come with me.
1450
01:35:24,427 --> 01:35:27,179
Flanagan, get the hell out of my house!
1451
01:35:27,263 --> 01:35:29,723
Jordan, wake up! Don't you see
why he's come back here?
1452
01:35:29,808 --> 01:35:32,893
- One reason: for the money.
- I don't want a thing from you!
1453
01:35:32,977 --> 01:35:35,687
You're not going to get one penny.
He's a loser!
1454
01:35:35,772 --> 01:35:37,981
I'm not a loser.
Please, Jordan, come with me.
1455
01:35:38,066 --> 01:35:40,859
- Get him out of here.
- Stay out of this.
1456
01:35:40,944 --> 01:35:43,362
- Please.
- RICHARD: Throw this bum out of here!
1457
01:35:43,988 --> 01:35:45,072
Hold it!
1458
01:35:45,532 --> 01:35:46,949
Jordan, don't go!
1459
01:35:47,033 --> 01:35:49,952
If you walk out of this house,
don't bother coming back.
1460
01:35:50,120 --> 01:35:53,122
- I love him, and I'm going!
- You're not going anywhere!
1461
01:35:53,206 --> 01:35:55,290
Jordan! Stop her!
1462
01:35:55,917 --> 01:35:57,251
- Get off of me!
- Don't fucking handle her,
1463
01:35:57,335 --> 01:35:58,710
she's pregnant!
1464
01:36:00,505 --> 01:36:02,047
You asshole!
1465
01:36:17,856 --> 01:36:20,023
It didn't have to be this way, you know.
1466
01:36:31,369 --> 01:36:32,619
You're on your own.
1467
01:36:33,163 --> 01:36:35,622
It's the only way I want it.
1468
01:36:42,255 --> 01:36:45,549
A toast!
To the bride, and to my nephew!
1469
01:36:45,633 --> 01:36:48,427
- All the happiness!
- ALL: SaIute!
1470
01:36:50,346 --> 01:36:51,763
UNCLE PAT: There you go!
1471
01:36:51,848 --> 01:36:54,099
(SINGING) I've been Iied to
1472
01:36:54,184 --> 01:36:58,020
When wiII I be Ioved?
1473
01:36:58,104 --> 01:36:59,271
Right now, baby!
1474
01:36:59,355 --> 01:37:00,939
JORDAN: Oh, yeah!
1475
01:37:02,817 --> 01:37:09,781
I've been turned down
l've been pushed 'round
1476
01:37:10,533 --> 01:37:15,704
When wiII I be Ioved?
1477
01:37:20,376 --> 01:37:22,711
You realize we're both
completely insane.
1478
01:37:22,795 --> 01:37:24,213
- Yes.
- (BOTH LAUGHING)
1479
01:37:24,881 --> 01:37:27,341
You'll probably want to divorce me
in three weeks.
1480
01:37:27,425 --> 01:37:30,385
Probably. No, you'll want to divorce me.
1481
01:37:30,470 --> 01:37:33,889
- I'll be all fat and ugly.
- Just as long as you don't get too fat.
1482
01:37:34,682 --> 01:37:38,852
I am going to be very fat,
and you are going to love it!
1483
01:37:51,241 --> 01:37:52,991
MAN 1: Brian, give us a poem.
1484
01:37:53,076 --> 01:37:54,952
MAN 2: Yeah! Poem!
1485
01:37:55,036 --> 01:37:56,745
- Poem?
- MAN 1: Do one, Bri!
1486
01:37:56,829 --> 01:37:58,956
- Poem?
- WOMAN: Poem! Yeah!
1487
01:38:01,167 --> 01:38:03,001
- Poem?
- ALL: Poem!
1488
01:38:03,086 --> 01:38:04,670
We want a poem!
1489
01:38:04,754 --> 01:38:06,213
All right. Poem!
1490
01:38:06,297 --> 01:38:09,258
- Poem!
- MAN: All right, Brian!
1491
01:38:09,759 --> 01:38:11,552
(CROWD WHOOPING)
1492
01:38:17,016 --> 01:38:19,226
Okay, a poem.
1493
01:38:21,020 --> 01:38:23,021
This poem is entitled
1494
01:38:24,399 --> 01:38:27,150
Flanagan's Advice to
His Unborn ChiId.
1495
01:38:27,819 --> 01:38:29,570
ALL: Aw!
1496
01:38:32,115 --> 01:38:36,243
If Jordan gives birth to a fine Irish son
1497
01:38:36,327 --> 01:38:39,371
There'll be Cocktails & Dreams
for him one day to run
1498
01:38:40,582 --> 01:38:43,750
A business which shall yield
a financial windfall
1499
01:38:43,835 --> 01:38:45,669
- It better!
- (ALL LAUGHING)
1500
01:38:45,753 --> 01:38:46,920
Yes.
1501
01:38:47,755 --> 01:38:50,591
To be franchised in every
suburban shopping mall
1502
01:38:50,675 --> 01:38:53,302
A dynasty! You're founding a dynasty!
1503
01:38:54,178 --> 01:38:55,679
Now...
1504
01:38:56,973 --> 01:39:00,642
If a daughter arrives to bless our clan
1505
01:39:00,727 --> 01:39:01,893
ALL: Aw!
1506
01:39:01,978 --> 01:39:04,563
I guess the shit
will certainly hit the fan
1507
01:39:04,647 --> 01:39:06,148
(ALL LAUGHING)
1508
01:39:07,358 --> 01:39:10,944
But this I shall promise to thee
1509
01:39:11,029 --> 01:39:13,739
I'll never let her marry a guy like me
1510
01:39:14,866 --> 01:39:21,496
Still, if our child is the naughtiest
of girls or the wildest of men
1511
01:39:21,581 --> 01:39:24,583
I swear, I'll be the best dad I can
1512
01:39:24,667 --> 01:39:28,670
And never ever get spooked again
1513
01:39:33,343 --> 01:39:35,260
I bet I can still spook you.
1514
01:39:35,345 --> 01:39:36,845
No way.
1515
01:39:37,430 --> 01:39:38,847
(WHISPERING)
1516
01:39:43,269 --> 01:39:48,106
Twins?
1517
01:39:48,358 --> 01:39:49,358
Twins!
1518
01:39:49,442 --> 01:39:51,693
- Yeah!
- All right!
1519
01:39:51,986 --> 01:39:54,613
- Drinks are on the house!
- No!
1520
01:39:54,697 --> 01:39:56,990
- Bar is open!
- (ALL CHEERING)
1521
01:39:57,950 --> 01:40:00,077
(UPBEAT REGGAE SONG PLAYING)
1522
01:41:12,066 --> 01:41:13,817
(POP SONG PLAYING)
117892
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