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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:40,582 --> 00:00:42,583 (SLOW ROCK SONG PLAYING) 2 00:00:57,683 --> 00:00:59,225 (SIREN WAILING) 3 00:01:03,272 --> 00:01:04,439 (INDISTINCT) 4 00:01:04,523 --> 00:01:09,068 Come on! Put it to the floor! Come on! Let's go! 5 00:01:12,322 --> 00:01:13,614 Go, go! 6 00:01:21,290 --> 00:01:23,499 MAN 1: You got this thing in second. 7 00:01:23,584 --> 00:01:25,293 MAN 2: Here we go. 8 00:01:25,794 --> 00:01:28,379 Pull over! 9 00:01:28,464 --> 00:01:29,797 Pull over. 10 00:01:29,882 --> 00:01:31,883 (MEN SCREAMING INDISTINCTLY) 11 00:01:34,303 --> 00:01:35,386 (WHISTLING) 12 00:01:37,723 --> 00:01:40,224 - Get over. - Slow down. 13 00:01:41,351 --> 00:01:42,685 Slow down. 14 00:01:53,697 --> 00:01:55,156 Come on. 15 00:01:56,492 --> 00:01:57,617 Open up. 16 00:02:02,664 --> 00:02:06,000 Defenders of the nation, I bid thee a fine farewell. 17 00:02:07,169 --> 00:02:09,504 MAN 2: Make a million, buddy! 18 00:02:55,259 --> 00:02:58,177 - Mike, looky there! - (WOMAN CHUCKLING) 19 00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:00,054 Look at that. 20 00:03:00,556 --> 00:03:03,140 Look at that. See that city out there, kid? 21 00:03:03,225 --> 00:03:05,017 One day we're gonna own that town. 22 00:03:05,269 --> 00:03:07,019 You and me. 23 00:03:07,729 --> 00:03:08,938 What do you think of that? 24 00:03:09,857 --> 00:03:11,274 (COOING) 25 00:03:11,358 --> 00:03:12,859 Smart kid. 26 00:03:13,569 --> 00:03:15,069 (CARS HONKING) 27 00:04:13,045 --> 00:04:15,671 ANNOUNCER ON PA: Next stop, Martin Boulevard. 28 00:04:27,225 --> 00:04:28,309 Hey! 29 00:04:28,810 --> 00:04:31,103 Uncle Pat, you'd better be careful 30 00:04:31,188 --> 00:04:32,480 or you're gonna throw that back out again. 31 00:04:32,564 --> 00:04:36,859 Don't worry, I can handle it. So, home from the wars, huh? 32 00:04:38,987 --> 00:04:41,072 - BRIAN: How you doin'? - Oh, I'm fine. 33 00:04:41,156 --> 00:04:43,741 Servicing all the widows in the neighborhood now. 34 00:04:43,992 --> 00:04:45,409 BRIAN: Same ol' Uncle Pat. 35 00:04:46,995 --> 00:04:49,163 Flat beer from rusty pipes. 36 00:04:50,207 --> 00:04:52,583 If you only knew how I missed it. 37 00:04:52,668 --> 00:04:55,586 You might have changed a lot, but they sure didn't beat the wise guy out of you. 38 00:04:55,671 --> 00:04:56,963 Not a chance of that. 39 00:04:57,047 --> 00:04:58,506 I saved the apartment for you. 40 00:04:58,590 --> 00:05:01,467 I sublet it to a couple of yuppies. They loved your mother's furniture. 41 00:05:01,551 --> 00:05:03,678 They said it was quaint. 42 00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:06,806 I still remember the day they came to repossess it. 43 00:05:08,558 --> 00:05:09,684 So what are you going to do now? 44 00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:15,272 - Make a million. - (CHUCKLES) 45 00:05:15,357 --> 00:05:17,775 In the meantime, I'll ask McDougal to give you a job. 46 00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:19,527 No way! 47 00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:21,070 It was good enough for your old man. 48 00:05:21,863 --> 00:05:23,197 So was arthritis. 49 00:05:23,365 --> 00:05:26,283 He supported a family, just like you're gonna have to do. 50 00:05:26,368 --> 00:05:29,745 (CHUCKLING) No, not me. I'm not falling into that trap. 51 00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:32,748 Every man wakes up one fine morning with the wife and kids. 52 00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:35,584 "Where'd they come from? They weren't there last time I looked." 53 00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:38,004 That's 'cause most things in life, good and bad, 54 00:05:38,088 --> 00:05:39,964 just kind of happen to you. 55 00:05:40,966 --> 00:05:42,925 I'm gonna make things happen for me. 56 00:05:43,135 --> 00:05:44,802 Sure you will. 57 00:05:44,886 --> 00:05:46,137 That'll be a buck for the beer. 58 00:05:49,099 --> 00:05:54,520 What? Your nephew comes home from serving his country 59 00:05:54,604 --> 00:05:56,647 and he doesn't even rate a beer on the house? 60 00:05:56,732 --> 00:05:58,441 You don't get rich giving things away. 61 00:05:58,525 --> 00:05:59,900 Oh! How do you get rich? 62 00:06:00,110 --> 00:06:03,362 I'm gonna give you your first lesson. On the house. 63 00:06:03,447 --> 00:06:06,741 I've been here 25 years, never bought a drink. 64 00:06:06,825 --> 00:06:08,242 - Right, Eddie? - (LAUGHS) 65 00:06:08,326 --> 00:06:09,660 I can testify to that! 66 00:06:09,786 --> 00:06:13,539 In 1 969, the Mets won the World Series. 67 00:06:13,623 --> 00:06:17,960 Eddie here starts pounding on the bar, demanding a round on the house. 68 00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:19,545 "Drinks for everybody," he says. 69 00:06:19,629 --> 00:06:21,672 Tell him what I did. 70 00:06:21,757 --> 00:06:23,799 (CHUCKLING) He whacked me with a club. 71 00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:26,343 Almost knocked the eye out of my head. 72 00:06:26,428 --> 00:06:27,636 That's your way of making money? 73 00:06:28,180 --> 00:06:31,182 Outwork, outthink, out scheme and out maneuver. 74 00:06:31,266 --> 00:06:33,684 You make no friends. Trust nobody. 75 00:06:33,769 --> 00:06:35,978 You make damn sure you're the smartest guy in the room 76 00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:38,606 whenever the subject of money comes up. 77 00:06:39,274 --> 00:06:41,358 I don't know, Uncle Pat... 78 00:06:41,443 --> 00:06:43,486 It doesn't sound like too much fun to me. 79 00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:46,447 Fun? You want fun, go play at the beach. 80 00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:48,532 I think I'll try the city first. 81 00:06:48,617 --> 00:06:51,994 Here. This'll get you there in style. 82 00:06:52,079 --> 00:06:55,790 Ooh! $1 0, Uncle Pat. 83 00:06:56,792 --> 00:06:58,584 Why don't you buy Eddie a binge on me, huh? 84 00:07:00,128 --> 00:07:02,588 Eddie, you gotta be quicker than that. 85 00:07:29,324 --> 00:07:31,450 BRIAN: I've aIways wanted to work on Wall Street. 86 00:07:31,535 --> 00:07:33,494 I read the Journal. l know what's going on. 87 00:07:33,870 --> 00:07:35,746 I'll do whatever it takes to succeed. 88 00:07:35,831 --> 00:07:37,248 I appreciate that, Flanagan, 89 00:07:37,332 --> 00:07:39,583 but all our professionals have college degrees. 90 00:07:39,668 --> 00:07:40,793 I catch on pretty quick. 91 00:07:40,877 --> 00:07:42,628 MAN 1: You're wasting your time. 92 00:07:42,712 --> 00:07:43,796 We're not interested. 93 00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:48,134 MAN 2: A guy like you, advertising. BRIAN: l have a feel for advertising. 94 00:07:48,218 --> 00:07:50,636 I can look at an ad and tell you what's wrong with it. 95 00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:55,599 - We need solid credentials. - A marketing degree is a prerequisite. 96 00:07:55,684 --> 00:07:56,725 MAN 3: Try the networks. 97 00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:59,603 In the Army, I spent a lot of time in communications. I think I can help you. 98 00:07:59,688 --> 00:08:02,106 We need somebody who can hit the ground running. 99 00:08:02,190 --> 00:08:04,525 Maybe in six or eight months, but... 100 00:08:04,609 --> 00:08:06,318 You should pursue other avenues. 101 00:08:06,403 --> 00:08:07,653 WOMAN: Maybe you should reenlist. 102 00:08:07,737 --> 00:08:11,073 I believe in positive thinking. Never quit. Never say die. 103 00:08:11,158 --> 00:08:12,658 I want to be part of a team. 104 00:08:12,742 --> 00:08:14,243 So, what do you think? 105 00:08:15,036 --> 00:08:17,371 Your résumé's completely inadequate. 106 00:08:17,789 --> 00:08:18,914 I'm willing to start at the bottom. 107 00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:21,333 - You're aiming too high. - I'll do anything. 108 00:08:21,418 --> 00:08:23,127 You don't have experience. 109 00:08:23,211 --> 00:08:24,545 I need a job. 110 00:08:24,629 --> 00:08:25,796 We value education. 111 00:08:25,881 --> 00:08:28,340 - We require a degree. - You should go to college. 112 00:09:01,499 --> 00:09:03,083 Bar's closed, pal. 113 00:09:03,710 --> 00:09:05,252 I'm looking for the manager. 114 00:09:05,795 --> 00:09:07,504 What's the matter? 115 00:09:07,589 --> 00:09:09,089 Find a hair in your quiche? 116 00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:13,093 No, I'm looking for a job. 117 00:09:13,178 --> 00:09:17,264 I see, you want to put a hair in somebody else's quiche. 118 00:09:17,349 --> 00:09:19,433 - Did you get canned? - I'm looking. 119 00:09:19,517 --> 00:09:21,894 Looking for something better. 120 00:09:22,812 --> 00:09:23,896 Coughlin's law. 121 00:09:24,439 --> 00:09:27,650 Anything else is always something better. 122 00:09:27,984 --> 00:09:29,318 Coughlin's law? 123 00:09:29,611 --> 00:09:32,529 Douglas Coughlin, logical negativist. 124 00:09:32,614 --> 00:09:35,366 Flourished at the end of the 20th century. 125 00:09:35,450 --> 00:09:38,369 Propounded a set of laws that the world generally ignored... 126 00:09:38,453 --> 00:09:41,205 to its detriment. Me. 127 00:09:42,332 --> 00:09:43,958 Ever work behind a bar? 128 00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:46,460 My uncle's in the business. 129 00:09:47,295 --> 00:09:49,255 Know how to make a Red- eye, Mr...? 130 00:09:49,339 --> 00:09:53,717 Brian Flanagan. No, I haven't had the pleasure as yet. 131 00:09:53,802 --> 00:09:56,762 How about a Vodka martini with a Pernod float? 132 00:09:57,389 --> 00:09:59,056 I'm a fast learner. 133 00:10:00,308 --> 00:10:03,894 Could you throw a 400- pound psychopath out the bar? 134 00:10:03,979 --> 00:10:06,021 I guess I could if I had to. 135 00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:09,441 What about a 1 00- pound ballerina that's been speeding for three days? 136 00:10:09,526 --> 00:10:12,111 Open the door and let her pirouette out? 137 00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:16,991 These are just some of the tasks you'll be asked to perform. 138 00:10:17,367 --> 00:10:20,536 This is the Upper East Side, saloon capital of the world. 139 00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:23,872 You're ready for the big time, young Mr. Flanagan. 140 00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:28,168 I think I can handle it. 141 00:10:28,586 --> 00:10:30,671 (ROCK 'N' ROLL SONG PLAYING) 142 00:10:32,048 --> 00:10:33,424 WAITRESS 1: Get your act together! 143 00:10:33,508 --> 00:10:34,883 WAITRESS 2: Vodka and Rose's, please. 144 00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:36,969 I got four people waiting for me. 145 00:10:37,053 --> 00:10:38,804 I'm not going back there with three drinks. 146 00:10:38,888 --> 00:10:40,055 I'm coming. 147 00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:41,181 Absolut on the rocks, 148 00:10:41,266 --> 00:10:43,767 Gilbey's and tonic and a Velvet Hammer. 149 00:10:43,852 --> 00:10:46,937 - MAN: This isn't what I ordered! - A Molson and a Cuba Libre. 150 00:10:47,022 --> 00:10:49,648 - What was that? - A Molson and a Cuba Libre. 151 00:10:49,733 --> 00:10:52,192 WOMAN 1: And I don't want it in spurts. 152 00:10:53,028 --> 00:10:55,237 WAITRESS 3: What is this? Hire the handicapped week? 153 00:10:55,322 --> 00:10:58,324 If you're gonna sit in the water, go to Coney Island. 154 00:10:58,408 --> 00:11:01,118 You want me to bite the top off this? 155 00:11:01,202 --> 00:11:02,494 This has got recipes. 156 00:11:02,579 --> 00:11:04,663 Ordering a Cuba Libre! 157 00:11:04,748 --> 00:11:06,290 WOMAN: Can I please have a glass of water? 158 00:11:06,374 --> 00:11:07,666 He doesn't know how to make it. 159 00:11:07,751 --> 00:11:09,293 Where's my Jim Beam on the rocks? 160 00:11:09,377 --> 00:11:13,464 - It's coming. In a minute. - I'm not leaving till I get my Cuba Libre. 161 00:11:13,548 --> 00:11:17,384 WOMAN: Can I have an Orgasm? MAN 1: This isn't what I ordered. 162 00:11:17,969 --> 00:11:18,969 MAN 2: A white wine. 163 00:11:19,054 --> 00:11:20,679 You bitch! 164 00:11:20,764 --> 00:11:23,265 Why didn't you just tell me it was a rum and Coke? 165 00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:24,683 MAN 1: Can I have what I ordered? 166 00:11:24,768 --> 00:11:26,143 MAN 3: A Bloody Mary. WOMAN 2: An Angel Tit. 167 00:11:26,227 --> 00:11:27,353 A white wine. 168 00:11:27,437 --> 00:11:28,771 WOMAN 3: Pink Squirrel. 169 00:11:28,855 --> 00:11:30,397 - A Friar Tuck. - A Ding- A- Ling. 170 00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:32,149 A white wine. 171 00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:33,776 - Pink Squirrel. - Angel Tit. 172 00:11:33,860 --> 00:11:36,403 - Dirty Mother. - MAN 1: Can I have what I ordered? 173 00:11:36,488 --> 00:11:40,157 All right! What was it that you ordered? 174 00:11:40,241 --> 00:11:41,658 A martini. 175 00:11:42,118 --> 00:11:43,577 What's in that? 176 00:11:57,926 --> 00:12:00,636 You get 1 0 percent from the waitresses. 177 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:01,804 I don't deserve it. 178 00:12:01,888 --> 00:12:05,724 Hey, schmuck. You get money from girls every day? 179 00:12:05,809 --> 00:12:07,893 Listen, I'm sorry I called you a bitch. 180 00:12:07,977 --> 00:12:10,312 Why? I am a bitch. 181 00:12:12,607 --> 00:12:14,858 Got yourself a new disciple? 182 00:12:14,943 --> 00:12:16,693 Good night, my beautiful. 183 00:12:17,404 --> 00:12:19,738 Hey, frogman. 184 00:12:19,823 --> 00:12:22,783 Anyone who can get money out of her is a major talent. 185 00:12:23,159 --> 00:12:25,619 Come back next Thursday. I've got five shifts open. 186 00:12:25,703 --> 00:12:27,746 - You're offering me a job? - Uh- huh. 187 00:12:28,415 --> 00:12:29,706 (SCOFFS) 188 00:12:29,791 --> 00:12:31,291 The waitresses hate me. 189 00:12:33,795 --> 00:12:36,547 Wait till you've given them crabs. 190 00:12:36,631 --> 00:12:38,841 Then you'll really know hatred. 191 00:12:56,067 --> 00:12:57,276 PROFESSOR: l'd like to discuss 192 00:12:57,360 --> 00:12:59,278 the demand for money by focusing on... 193 00:12:59,362 --> 00:13:00,654 the money multiplier. 194 00:13:00,738 --> 00:13:04,700 Add increases in currency, deposits, reserves and bank credits. 195 00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:06,743 Then we have the sum of an infinite series. 196 00:13:06,828 --> 00:13:09,371 Adding these components together, 197 00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:12,958 we find that they add up to one plus CU over CU plus RE. 198 00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:15,627 That, simply stated, is the money multiplier. 199 00:13:15,712 --> 00:13:17,171 Now, moving on... 200 00:13:17,672 --> 00:13:20,132 The essential technique of bartending: 201 00:13:20,216 --> 00:13:22,301 Less is more. 202 00:13:22,385 --> 00:13:24,136 The less you pour, the more you score. 203 00:13:24,220 --> 00:13:26,763 The boss does better, we do better. 204 00:13:26,848 --> 00:13:27,890 And the customer? 205 00:13:27,974 --> 00:13:30,100 Think of a customer as a hurdler thinks of a hurdle. 206 00:13:30,185 --> 00:13:31,602 A means to an end. 207 00:13:31,686 --> 00:13:35,564 We dazzle him with ice work. We baffle him with bottle work. 208 00:13:36,232 --> 00:13:38,442 There are many ways to fool a customer. 209 00:13:38,526 --> 00:13:40,486 The short pour. 210 00:13:41,696 --> 00:13:43,447 The long pour. 211 00:13:44,032 --> 00:13:46,116 The ice mountain. The spring thaw. 212 00:13:46,201 --> 00:13:48,494 The speed rack shuffle. The hot shot. 213 00:13:48,578 --> 00:13:50,871 You will learn them all. 214 00:13:50,955 --> 00:13:52,915 Yes, Obi- Wan. 215 00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:54,958 BRIAN: Both hands. Ladies, come on. 216 00:13:55,043 --> 00:13:58,128 Okay, ready? One, two, three. Let go! 217 00:13:58,213 --> 00:13:59,671 (SCREAMING) 218 00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:01,548 (LAUGHING) 219 00:14:02,967 --> 00:14:04,051 What does it mean? 220 00:14:04,219 --> 00:14:06,553 What does it mean? Nothing! 221 00:14:06,888 --> 00:14:08,555 Nothing? 222 00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:10,557 All right! Nothing! 223 00:14:11,601 --> 00:14:12,601 Whoa! 224 00:14:15,563 --> 00:14:17,814 Very sophisticated, man. 225 00:14:17,899 --> 00:14:19,191 - Good joke. - You're crazy. 226 00:14:21,402 --> 00:14:22,945 (LAUGHING) 227 00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:27,407 WAITRESS: You got talent. 228 00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:31,620 (WHOOPING) 229 00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:34,248 Let's go with the drinks. We're making money tonight. 230 00:14:34,457 --> 00:14:36,458 WAITRESS: Let's make some money for a change. 231 00:14:38,419 --> 00:14:39,836 BRIAN: Ice! 232 00:14:39,921 --> 00:14:42,214 - DOUG: Catch! - Thank you. 233 00:14:42,507 --> 00:14:45,217 I guess that's what you learned in college, right? 234 00:14:45,426 --> 00:14:47,636 (ROCK 'N' ROLL SONG PLAYING) 235 00:14:58,398 --> 00:15:00,983 What buns! See? 236 00:15:01,109 --> 00:15:03,151 WAITRESS: Don't forget my beers, Bri. 237 00:15:05,655 --> 00:15:06,738 (WHOOPS) 238 00:15:06,823 --> 00:15:08,115 Missed me! 239 00:15:10,285 --> 00:15:11,868 The name of the game is woman. 240 00:15:11,953 --> 00:15:14,079 The little darlings come in here panting. 241 00:15:14,163 --> 00:15:15,872 Their hearts are pitter- pattering 242 00:15:15,957 --> 00:15:18,792 for the handsome, all- knowing bartender. 243 00:15:19,294 --> 00:15:20,752 And in their wake, 244 00:15:20,837 --> 00:15:22,337 a parade of slobbering geeks, 245 00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:26,008 with one hand on their crotches and the other hand on their wallets. 246 00:15:26,092 --> 00:15:27,759 You get the women, and you get the bucks. 247 00:15:27,844 --> 00:15:30,304 Boy, oh, boy, you've got them. 248 00:15:30,388 --> 00:15:32,347 Buttons were popping, skirts were rising. 249 00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:36,101 When you can see the color of their panties, you know you've got talent. 250 00:15:36,185 --> 00:15:37,311 (LAUGHING) 251 00:15:37,895 --> 00:15:40,230 Stick with me, son. I'll make you a star. 252 00:15:40,315 --> 00:15:42,065 Thanks, man, but I gotta be honest, 253 00:15:42,650 --> 00:15:45,319 this is just a part- time gig for me. 254 00:15:45,403 --> 00:15:48,238 I'm in a business program, city college, days. 255 00:15:48,323 --> 00:15:50,657 Ah! A seeker of wisdom and truth. 256 00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:55,621 This is the best work study program you can find. 257 00:15:55,705 --> 00:15:58,582 To a future leader ofAmerica... 258 00:15:58,666 --> 00:15:59,958 I'll stick with the brew. 259 00:16:00,376 --> 00:16:02,419 (SCOFFS) Beer is for breakfast around here. 260 00:16:02,503 --> 00:16:04,338 Drink or be gone. 261 00:16:13,181 --> 00:16:17,434 I realize I've got a class of budding capitalists here. 262 00:16:17,518 --> 00:16:22,022 That most of you are seeking the fast track, lovely term, 263 00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:27,277 to a career in investment banking or some other socially useful pursuit. 264 00:16:27,362 --> 00:16:32,616 Nevertheless, certain antiquated skills such as reading and writing, 265 00:16:32,909 --> 00:16:35,160 remain a part of the curriculum. 266 00:16:35,244 --> 00:16:38,413 So, for your first assignment, 267 00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:40,666 I'd like you to write your own obituaries. 268 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,626 Not that I wish you were dead. 269 00:16:42,710 --> 00:16:45,587 At least, not yet, anyway. 270 00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:48,215 "Brian Flanagan... 271 00:16:49,133 --> 00:16:53,845 "Senator Brian Flanagan... Billionaire Governor Brian Flanagan... 272 00:16:53,930 --> 00:16:57,349 "whose self- propelled meteoric rise to wealth and fame, 273 00:16:57,433 --> 00:17:01,186 "would have made even J.D. Rockefeller envious, 274 00:17:02,438 --> 00:17:05,273 "died early yesterday morning at the age of 99, 275 00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:08,026 "while bedding 1 8- year- old, seventh wife. 276 00:17:09,237 --> 00:17:12,739 "Heidi, who is recovering from exhaustion at the local hospital 277 00:17:12,824 --> 00:17:15,909 "and will be unable to attend the funeral." 278 00:17:17,912 --> 00:17:19,329 (BOTH LAUGHING) 279 00:17:20,289 --> 00:17:21,832 PROFESSOR: For your midterm paper, 280 00:17:21,916 --> 00:17:26,670 I want you to select a business you are interested in. 281 00:17:26,754 --> 00:17:30,382 And prepare a complete plan for its development. 282 00:17:30,466 --> 00:17:33,468 You should include capitalization, 283 00:17:34,429 --> 00:17:38,432 administrative costs, income prospectus, 284 00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:43,311 marketing, cost analysis... 285 00:17:44,856 --> 00:17:48,275 Blue shirt, fifth row, wake up! 286 00:17:51,779 --> 00:17:54,364 Ah! Light dawns on marble head. 287 00:17:54,449 --> 00:17:56,199 (STUDENTS LAUGHING) 288 00:17:56,451 --> 00:17:57,826 Where was I? 289 00:17:57,994 --> 00:18:00,495 - (ROCK 'N' ROLL SONG PLAYING) - Whoo! 290 00:18:05,460 --> 00:18:07,711 (SINGING ALONG) 291 00:18:22,602 --> 00:18:24,394 (CROWD SINGING ALONG) 292 00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:45,707 I have got serious "fuck me" eyes coming over here. 293 00:18:45,792 --> 00:18:49,085 Stay in formation. Her old man's coming in right behind her. 294 00:19:06,854 --> 00:19:08,063 (SIGHS) 295 00:19:12,610 --> 00:19:15,695 Flanagan, time! 296 00:19:16,864 --> 00:19:18,573 Holy shit. 297 00:19:25,706 --> 00:19:26,748 - Brian? - Huh? 298 00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:28,375 The bottle. 299 00:19:32,296 --> 00:19:34,130 Try and make it by closing. 300 00:19:34,215 --> 00:19:37,342 I'm doing the best I can, okay? 301 00:19:41,848 --> 00:19:43,723 Sexual frustration. 302 00:19:45,059 --> 00:19:47,394 I asked you to prepare a business plan. 303 00:19:48,312 --> 00:19:50,272 - A seemingly simple assignment. - (YAWNING) 304 00:19:50,648 --> 00:19:53,567 And yet, one word describes your papers. 305 00:19:53,651 --> 00:19:57,195 Bankrupt! 306 00:19:57,864 --> 00:20:00,615 A word some of you will get to know well in the future. 307 00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:03,702 Like Mr. Ron LeMaster. Where is Ronnie LeMaster? 308 00:20:03,786 --> 00:20:06,496 Yes. Our cosmetics magnate, 309 00:20:06,581 --> 00:20:10,125 who hopes to make his fortune selling makeup for pets. 310 00:20:10,293 --> 00:20:11,334 (STUDENTS LAUGH) 311 00:20:11,419 --> 00:20:13,670 Fetch, Ronnie, fetch. 312 00:20:13,754 --> 00:20:15,171 Good boy. 313 00:20:15,256 --> 00:20:18,592 And my own personal favorite, Mrs. Sheila Rivkin. 314 00:20:18,676 --> 00:20:20,093 Oh, my God. He's got my paper. 315 00:20:20,177 --> 00:20:24,097 Mrs. Rivkin has spent the last 20 years burning her husband's dinners, 316 00:20:24,181 --> 00:20:26,266 but now decides she wants to become 317 00:20:26,350 --> 00:20:28,602 the Donald Trump of the cookie business. 318 00:20:28,686 --> 00:20:30,353 You! 319 00:20:30,438 --> 00:20:32,355 You have something to contribute? 320 00:20:33,024 --> 00:20:34,900 I just said it wasn't worth getting upset about. 321 00:20:35,401 --> 00:20:37,068 What's your name? 322 00:20:37,153 --> 00:20:38,153 (SOFTLY) Brian Flanagan. 323 00:20:38,237 --> 00:20:41,531 Speak up! Let the class hear you. 324 00:20:41,616 --> 00:20:42,699 Brian Flanagan. 325 00:20:42,783 --> 00:20:44,826 Yes, Mr. Flanagan. 326 00:20:44,911 --> 00:20:46,786 Let us see... 327 00:20:47,830 --> 00:20:52,334 Mr. Flanagan is determined to revolutionize the bar business 328 00:20:52,418 --> 00:20:56,087 by franchising his version of the local New York tavern 329 00:20:56,172 --> 00:20:58,715 to every suburban shopping mall in America. 330 00:20:58,799 --> 00:21:03,511 Tell me, do you intend to provide the smell of stale beer? 331 00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:08,308 Or perhaps a surly bartender and three boring drunks 332 00:21:08,392 --> 00:21:09,559 to each outlet? 333 00:21:09,644 --> 00:21:11,686 I don't know, you looking for anotherjob? 334 00:21:11,771 --> 00:21:13,730 (STUDENTS EXCLAIM IN SHOCK) 335 00:21:13,814 --> 00:21:15,857 Ah! A diamond in the rough. 336 00:21:15,942 --> 00:21:18,818 The dreamer who can't take the criticism. 337 00:21:18,903 --> 00:21:22,447 Not from a guy who hides here 'cause he can't hack it in the real world. 338 00:21:26,786 --> 00:21:30,455 Let's see how well you hack it in the real world with an F in this course. 339 00:21:30,539 --> 00:21:31,873 F! 340 00:21:34,835 --> 00:21:38,797 Not a goddamn thing any one of those professors says 341 00:21:38,881 --> 00:21:41,132 makes a difference on the street. 342 00:21:41,217 --> 00:21:44,094 If you know that, you're ready to graduate. 343 00:21:50,476 --> 00:21:52,811 Maybe I'm just too old to be a student. 344 00:21:56,941 --> 00:21:58,358 (SIGHING) 345 00:21:58,818 --> 00:22:00,485 Christ! 346 00:22:01,362 --> 00:22:04,906 I've got to find something to do. 347 00:22:04,991 --> 00:22:07,367 Relax. You're in the perfect job. 348 00:22:07,451 --> 00:22:11,329 There's no better way to make it than behind three feet of mahogany. 349 00:22:11,831 --> 00:22:13,581 Within one square mile of this saloon, 350 00:22:13,666 --> 00:22:16,209 lies the greatest concentration of wealth in the world. 351 00:22:17,044 --> 00:22:22,966 Yes, but how is a bartender going to get his hands on any of it? 352 00:22:23,801 --> 00:22:27,595 A bartender is the aristocrat of the working class. 353 00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:30,932 He can make all kinds of moves if he's smart. 354 00:22:31,517 --> 00:22:36,312 There are investors out there. There are angels. There are suckers. 355 00:22:36,397 --> 00:22:39,858 There are rich women with nothing to do with their money. 356 00:22:40,109 --> 00:22:41,401 (LAUGHING) 357 00:22:41,819 --> 00:22:44,487 You stand in this bar and be struck by lightning. 358 00:22:44,572 --> 00:22:46,281 I've seen it happen. 359 00:22:49,535 --> 00:22:50,660 Shall I continue? 360 00:22:50,745 --> 00:22:52,328 Oh, please do. 361 00:22:55,291 --> 00:22:57,959 (BOTH SINGING ROCK 'N' ROLL SONG) 362 00:23:20,024 --> 00:23:23,359 It is not dignified to get this drunk. 363 00:23:23,444 --> 00:23:24,903 You are in training. 364 00:23:24,987 --> 00:23:26,863 - I'm in training? - For stardom. 365 00:23:26,947 --> 00:23:27,947 For stardom. 366 00:23:28,032 --> 00:23:30,075 No matter how liberated this world becomes, 367 00:23:30,159 --> 00:23:34,037 a man will always be judged based on the amount of alcohol he can consume. 368 00:23:34,121 --> 00:23:36,456 - Always. - And a woman will be impressed, 369 00:23:36,540 --> 00:23:38,792 whether she likes it or not. 370 00:23:40,336 --> 00:23:42,754 - Now come on. - I'm not going to make it. 371 00:23:42,838 --> 00:23:47,717 You are! A star never pukes or passes out in public. 372 00:23:48,761 --> 00:23:50,136 (SCREAMING) 373 00:23:53,224 --> 00:23:55,058 Holy shit. 374 00:23:55,976 --> 00:23:58,436 Hey, are you okay? 375 00:24:00,523 --> 00:24:01,981 You alive? 376 00:24:08,989 --> 00:24:13,493 However, falling down stairs is allowed. 377 00:24:14,161 --> 00:24:15,453 (CHUCKLING) 378 00:24:21,168 --> 00:24:23,211 You sure you don't want a slice? 379 00:24:23,295 --> 00:24:25,004 For breakfast? You've got to be joking. 380 00:24:26,173 --> 00:24:27,715 It's better than a Red- eye. 381 00:24:28,384 --> 00:24:29,926 Not for a hangover. 382 00:24:30,344 --> 00:24:32,679 Coughlin's diet. 383 00:24:32,763 --> 00:24:35,306 Cocktails and dreams. 384 00:24:35,850 --> 00:24:38,268 That's not a bad name for a joint. 385 00:24:38,352 --> 00:24:41,104 We really ought to think about setting up our own place. 386 00:24:41,188 --> 00:24:42,522 That takes money. 387 00:24:42,606 --> 00:24:46,776 The kind of money your sacred books dangle, but never deliver. 388 00:24:47,653 --> 00:24:49,654 BRIAN: They deliver. 389 00:24:49,738 --> 00:24:52,198 You just got to know how to read. 390 00:24:55,286 --> 00:24:57,495 Come on, we could make a fortune. 391 00:24:57,955 --> 00:25:00,957 That's why you came to New York. That's sure as hell why I left Queens. 392 00:25:01,041 --> 00:25:03,001 Positive thinking! 393 00:25:04,086 --> 00:25:07,130 We can't let a little thing like cash stand in our way. 394 00:25:07,965 --> 00:25:13,052 Cocktails and Dreams. 395 00:25:13,137 --> 00:25:16,097 I see it in pink neon. Blink. Blink. 396 00:25:16,432 --> 00:25:17,849 Pinkity, blink. 397 00:25:18,100 --> 00:25:19,392 That is a little corny, isn't it? 398 00:25:19,935 --> 00:25:21,561 But I could live with it. 399 00:25:21,645 --> 00:25:24,397 Yes, but can I live with young Flanagan? 400 00:25:26,192 --> 00:25:30,486 Maybe I could handle a partner. 401 00:25:30,571 --> 00:25:32,488 All right! 402 00:25:32,573 --> 00:25:33,615 Fifty- fifty. 403 00:25:33,699 --> 00:25:35,200 A partner who knows his place. 404 00:25:35,284 --> 00:25:37,076 Seventy- thirty. 405 00:25:39,413 --> 00:25:41,581 You do have your pension to think about, 406 00:25:41,665 --> 00:25:43,833 so I'll settle for sixty- forty. 407 00:25:45,753 --> 00:25:48,588 To health and friendship. 408 00:25:49,381 --> 00:25:50,632 Life and love. 409 00:25:51,258 --> 00:25:52,342 Our future. 410 00:25:52,426 --> 00:25:53,468 To our future. 411 00:25:53,844 --> 00:25:55,511 Let's really do it. 412 00:25:57,932 --> 00:25:59,766 (ROCK 'N' ROLL SONG PLAYING) 413 00:26:00,267 --> 00:26:02,143 (ALL CHANTING) Do it! Do it! 414 00:26:03,062 --> 00:26:04,938 Let's do it! 415 00:26:06,774 --> 00:26:08,524 One, two, three. 416 00:26:10,569 --> 00:26:12,111 (SINGING ALONG) 417 00:26:37,721 --> 00:26:39,055 (CLANGING) 418 00:26:41,016 --> 00:26:42,058 (SONG ENDS) 419 00:26:42,142 --> 00:26:43,643 (CROWD CHEERING) 420 00:26:44,311 --> 00:26:49,399 Listen, why the fuck are two stars like you wasting your talents 421 00:26:49,483 --> 00:26:50,566 in a hole like this? 422 00:26:50,651 --> 00:26:51,693 A secret admirer? 423 00:26:51,777 --> 00:26:54,988 I'm serious. I got the hottest saloon in town. 424 00:26:55,072 --> 00:26:56,906 I want you guys working for me. 425 00:26:56,991 --> 00:26:58,408 In two weeks, you'll be famous. 426 00:26:58,492 --> 00:27:01,119 I've been famous for ten years. Just give me the money. 427 00:27:01,203 --> 00:27:03,871 (SINGING) I got the hippie hippie shake 428 00:27:04,456 --> 00:27:06,165 (ROCK SONG PLAYING) 429 00:27:32,818 --> 00:27:36,029 I am the world's first yuppie poet. 430 00:27:36,488 --> 00:27:39,032 Bullshit! 431 00:27:40,534 --> 00:27:43,536 My poem is entitled The Bottom Line. 432 00:27:44,079 --> 00:27:45,788 MAN: Stick it in your Volvo! 433 00:27:45,873 --> 00:27:48,124 "Money isn't everything," They say 434 00:27:49,501 --> 00:27:51,794 Okay, so what is? Sex? 435 00:27:52,504 --> 00:27:53,796 MAN: It's better than sushi! 436 00:27:53,881 --> 00:27:56,174 Did you ever make love To a pauper? 437 00:27:56,508 --> 00:27:57,508 (EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST) 438 00:27:57,593 --> 00:27:58,968 WOMAN: I'd rather hump a camel! 439 00:27:59,053 --> 00:28:01,179 Revolution? It takes money 440 00:28:01,263 --> 00:28:04,057 To overthrow the government, You know 441 00:28:04,224 --> 00:28:05,183 That's deep! 442 00:28:05,267 --> 00:28:08,394 Art? The more it costs, The better it is 443 00:28:08,479 --> 00:28:10,813 And that's the bottom line! 444 00:28:10,898 --> 00:28:12,106 (ALL CHEERING) 445 00:28:12,399 --> 00:28:14,233 - Crap, I say! - Bullshit! 446 00:28:14,318 --> 00:28:17,904 Who wants a drink? 447 00:28:18,530 --> 00:28:20,114 (CROWD CHANTING) 448 00:28:22,618 --> 00:28:24,243 We want more! 449 00:28:29,666 --> 00:28:31,376 (WHISTLING) 450 00:28:37,549 --> 00:28:39,092 You want poets? 451 00:28:39,176 --> 00:28:40,510 WOMEN: Yes, we do! 452 00:28:40,594 --> 00:28:42,428 - You want poets? - ALL: Yeah! 453 00:28:43,180 --> 00:28:46,849 I am the world's last barman poet. 454 00:28:48,018 --> 00:28:50,269 MAN: Give us a kiss, you sexy beast! 455 00:28:50,354 --> 00:28:51,938 (WOMAN WHOOPING) 456 00:28:53,315 --> 00:28:56,234 I see America drinking 457 00:28:56,318 --> 00:28:58,820 The fabulous cocktails I make 458 00:28:59,905 --> 00:29:03,491 America's getting stinking On something I stir or shake 459 00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:06,953 The Sex on the Beach 460 00:29:07,121 --> 00:29:08,246 (ALL CHEERING) 461 00:29:08,455 --> 00:29:10,665 The schnapps made from peach 462 00:29:10,749 --> 00:29:13,793 The Velvet Hammer The Alabama Slammer 463 00:29:15,629 --> 00:29:19,090 I make things with juice And frothy Pink Squirrel 464 00:29:19,174 --> 00:29:20,758 Three Toad Sloth 465 00:29:20,843 --> 00:29:21,926 (LAUGHTER) 466 00:29:22,010 --> 00:29:25,221 I make drinks so sweet and snazzy 467 00:29:25,305 --> 00:29:27,890 The Ice Tea, the Kamikaze 468 00:29:30,811 --> 00:29:32,895 - The Orgasm - (CROWD EXCLAIMING) 469 00:29:32,980 --> 00:29:35,022 DOUG: Hands off the merchandise! 470 00:29:36,817 --> 00:29:38,860 The Death Spasm 471 00:29:41,447 --> 00:29:43,739 The Singapore Sling The Ding- A- Ling 472 00:29:43,824 --> 00:29:44,907 WOMAN: Ding- A- Ling? 473 00:29:44,992 --> 00:29:47,160 America, you're just devoted 474 00:29:47,744 --> 00:29:49,662 To ever flavor I've got 475 00:29:52,291 --> 00:29:54,584 But if you want to get loaded 476 00:29:54,668 --> 00:29:57,962 - Why don't you just order a shot? - (ALL CHEERING) 477 00:30:08,390 --> 00:30:09,849 Bar's open! 478 00:30:10,058 --> 00:30:11,809 (ROCK 'N' ROLL SONG PLAYING) 479 00:30:17,441 --> 00:30:19,609 I'd like to try the Orgasm, please. 480 00:30:21,278 --> 00:30:23,196 How many would you like? 481 00:30:24,698 --> 00:30:26,365 - Multiple. - Multiple? 482 00:30:28,452 --> 00:30:31,996 Then why don't we start with the Turquoise Blue? 483 00:30:33,957 --> 00:30:35,208 Wow! 484 00:30:41,924 --> 00:30:43,466 (SINGING ALONG) 485 00:30:46,637 --> 00:30:48,471 You guys are rad! 486 00:30:51,099 --> 00:30:52,517 (SINGING) I'm aII shook up 487 00:30:52,893 --> 00:30:53,893 (WHOOPING) 488 00:31:01,235 --> 00:31:02,735 You guys are amazing! 489 00:31:12,746 --> 00:31:14,830 l'm all shook up 490 00:31:23,549 --> 00:31:25,132 Oh, my God! 491 00:31:28,011 --> 00:31:29,303 That was fantastic! 492 00:31:29,388 --> 00:31:30,846 It was great! 493 00:31:30,931 --> 00:31:32,473 You gotta let me take your picture. 494 00:31:32,558 --> 00:31:33,558 BRIAN: What for? 495 00:31:33,642 --> 00:31:36,310 When you're a big celebrity, I'll put you in RoIIing Stone. 496 00:31:36,395 --> 00:31:37,687 - Right. - He's my protégé. 497 00:31:37,771 --> 00:31:38,938 I discovered him. 498 00:31:39,022 --> 00:31:41,899 That's great. Can you move aside? I can't fit you both in. 499 00:31:42,276 --> 00:31:44,110 - Excuse me. - (CHUCKLING) 500 00:31:44,194 --> 00:31:45,278 That's great. 501 00:31:46,780 --> 00:31:48,948 (ROCK 'N' ROLL SONG PLAYING) 502 00:31:49,491 --> 00:31:51,534 (LAUGHTER) 503 00:32:17,811 --> 00:32:19,228 (MOANING) 504 00:32:25,652 --> 00:32:27,153 (SHRIEKING) 505 00:32:29,823 --> 00:32:31,157 (LAUGHING) 506 00:32:34,870 --> 00:32:36,245 (SCREAMING) 507 00:32:38,540 --> 00:32:39,915 (CHUCKLING) 508 00:32:44,504 --> 00:32:46,255 I gotta go. 509 00:32:47,215 --> 00:32:49,925 - Tuesday night? - I'm working. 510 00:32:50,010 --> 00:32:52,845 So, I'll wait at the end of the bar till closing. 511 00:32:52,929 --> 00:32:55,681 Isn't that what all bartenders' girlfriends do? 512 00:32:55,766 --> 00:32:57,224 All right. 513 00:33:00,479 --> 00:33:03,189 - Bye! - Get in there. You'll catch pneumonia! 514 00:33:14,368 --> 00:33:16,035 DOUG: Get up! Get out of there! 515 00:33:16,119 --> 00:33:17,536 Back off! 516 00:33:18,080 --> 00:33:19,538 (EXCLAIMING) 517 00:33:19,706 --> 00:33:21,415 Get up, damn it! 518 00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:23,626 Look at that clown. 519 00:33:23,710 --> 00:33:25,628 BRIAN: Good night, sweet prince. 520 00:33:27,047 --> 00:33:29,131 Looks like one of our customers. 521 00:33:29,216 --> 00:33:31,133 That bum just cost me $50. 522 00:33:31,218 --> 00:33:32,176 (SWITCHES OFF TV) 523 00:33:32,260 --> 00:33:34,512 What's this great idea I'm here to piss on? 524 00:33:36,932 --> 00:33:40,810 I have been doing some research 525 00:33:40,894 --> 00:33:44,397 into what it'll cost to set up Cocktails and Dreams. 526 00:33:44,523 --> 00:33:47,066 What I have found is if we find the right location. 527 00:33:47,275 --> 00:33:48,984 Do our own renovation. 528 00:33:49,069 --> 00:33:51,987 We can start it up for as little as $75,000 in cash. 529 00:33:52,072 --> 00:33:54,907 Ah! Which the tooth fairy will deliver to our doorstep. Hmm? 530 00:33:55,575 --> 00:33:56,701 BRIAN: No, man. 531 00:33:57,327 --> 00:34:02,498 (IN MOCK JAMAICAN ACCENT) Which we make in Jamaica, man. 532 00:34:02,582 --> 00:34:04,166 I like that. Hmm. 533 00:34:05,085 --> 00:34:07,545 - Jamaica, south of Soho? - Yeah, man. 534 00:34:07,629 --> 00:34:11,006 Very south of Soho. The Caribbean Jamaica, man. 535 00:34:11,091 --> 00:34:12,800 CORAL: I was down there last month doing a shoot. 536 00:34:12,884 --> 00:34:16,095 I met a bartender who makes $300 to $400 a day. 537 00:34:16,179 --> 00:34:17,847 A day! (WHOOPS) 538 00:34:17,931 --> 00:34:19,932 CORAL: He didn't have any of talent of you guys. 539 00:34:20,016 --> 00:34:22,184 DOUG: I should hope not. 540 00:34:22,269 --> 00:34:24,603 Winter in the tropics, spring in New York. 541 00:34:25,647 --> 00:34:27,440 Jet set bartenders, eh? 542 00:34:28,442 --> 00:34:31,193 We can live for peanuts down there. There are no taxes. 543 00:34:31,278 --> 00:34:33,028 Cash off the books. 544 00:34:33,113 --> 00:34:34,947 Two, maybe three seasons, we are in business. 545 00:34:35,031 --> 00:34:37,158 You wanna wait three years? 546 00:34:38,076 --> 00:34:40,828 I've told you, New York is where the angels are. 547 00:34:40,912 --> 00:34:44,331 This is a real opportunity. 548 00:34:45,125 --> 00:34:47,126 We'll have a fantastic time. 549 00:34:47,544 --> 00:34:48,627 Will we? 550 00:34:49,755 --> 00:34:50,755 DOUG: Carl, huh? 551 00:34:51,214 --> 00:34:52,256 Coral. 552 00:34:52,340 --> 00:34:53,758 English, Coral. 553 00:34:53,842 --> 00:34:54,884 Coral. 554 00:34:56,636 --> 00:34:57,928 Yes! 555 00:34:59,055 --> 00:35:02,349 Why is it that these chicks are always named after inanimate objects? 556 00:35:02,434 --> 00:35:05,102 There's nothing inanimate about Coral. 557 00:35:05,187 --> 00:35:06,771 DOUG: Hot mama, huh? 558 00:35:09,858 --> 00:35:10,983 Good shot. 559 00:35:11,067 --> 00:35:12,234 $1 0 behind the line? 560 00:35:13,278 --> 00:35:14,653 Sure, shoot till you miss. 561 00:35:15,322 --> 00:35:16,739 Where does Coral live? 562 00:35:17,991 --> 00:35:19,408 BRIAN: 76th Street. 563 00:35:19,493 --> 00:35:20,993 She's got a brownstone. 564 00:35:21,369 --> 00:35:22,745 She owns the whole fucking building. 565 00:35:23,705 --> 00:35:26,665 You don't think she lives there all by herself, do you? 566 00:35:26,792 --> 00:35:28,334 That's a bit lucky. 567 00:35:28,418 --> 00:35:30,252 - See any pictures? - Of guys? 568 00:35:30,337 --> 00:35:31,337 No. 569 00:35:34,508 --> 00:35:35,925 That's $30 you owe me. 570 00:35:36,009 --> 00:35:38,010 - Christ, I know. - Man's on a roll. 571 00:35:38,094 --> 00:35:39,678 Ladies and gentlemen. 572 00:35:39,805 --> 00:35:43,015 She's been saving herself for young Flanagan all these years? 573 00:35:43,433 --> 00:35:45,684 Maybe she hides the pictures when she goes out. 574 00:35:46,144 --> 00:35:47,603 Have a look on her ring finger. 575 00:35:47,687 --> 00:35:50,064 See if there's a white circle from her wedding band. 576 00:35:50,148 --> 00:35:51,607 Man, are you paranoid! 577 00:35:54,194 --> 00:35:57,696 Listen, it's the difference between a one- nighter 578 00:35:57,781 --> 00:36:00,533 and a meaningful relationship with an unattached millionairess. 579 00:36:00,617 --> 00:36:02,409 I'm not thinking about her that way, okay? 580 00:36:02,494 --> 00:36:04,870 This is more than just a one- night stand. 581 00:36:04,955 --> 00:36:06,747 This lady's gonna do a number on you, mate. 582 00:36:06,832 --> 00:36:08,207 I appreciate the concern. 583 00:36:10,585 --> 00:36:11,669 (WHOOPING) 584 00:36:11,753 --> 00:36:13,379 That's $50 you owe me. 585 00:36:14,381 --> 00:36:15,965 $50? 586 00:36:16,049 --> 00:36:20,344 $50 says that Coral's in the sack with some other guy before the week's out. 587 00:36:22,347 --> 00:36:23,722 That's a bet. 588 00:36:24,307 --> 00:36:25,808 DOUG: Missed. 589 00:36:26,142 --> 00:36:28,269 (ROCK 'N' ROLL SONG PLAYING) 590 00:36:29,396 --> 00:36:31,063 (EXCLAIMING) 591 00:36:41,491 --> 00:36:42,491 Hey. 592 00:36:42,576 --> 00:36:44,535 - How are you? - Okay. How are you? 593 00:36:48,206 --> 00:36:49,582 (INAUDIBLE) 594 00:37:04,347 --> 00:37:05,472 MAN 1: Keep it. 595 00:37:06,266 --> 00:37:07,641 MAN 2: Brian! 596 00:37:07,726 --> 00:37:09,059 What'll you have? 597 00:37:09,144 --> 00:37:11,061 - What? - A Screwdriver. 598 00:37:12,772 --> 00:37:15,274 I take it back, you're not going to be famous. 599 00:37:15,650 --> 00:37:18,611 Too bad you couldn't keep your mouth shut about our sex life. 600 00:37:19,112 --> 00:37:21,238 It only gets better. 601 00:37:27,120 --> 00:37:28,829 You made a move on Coral? 602 00:37:28,914 --> 00:37:30,039 I had to get my money back. 603 00:37:30,123 --> 00:37:31,999 You knew how I felt about her. 604 00:37:32,083 --> 00:37:34,084 How you feel anything for an assembly- line hump 605 00:37:34,169 --> 00:37:35,878 that does the book on the first date? 606 00:37:35,962 --> 00:37:37,296 I did you a favor, took her off your hands 607 00:37:37,380 --> 00:37:39,298 before she twisted your mind. 608 00:37:41,468 --> 00:37:43,636 You fuckin' son of a bitch! 609 00:37:43,720 --> 00:37:45,804 Coughlin's law: Never talk about a woman. 610 00:37:45,889 --> 00:37:48,057 She'll hear you no matter how far away she is. 611 00:37:48,141 --> 00:37:49,099 (WOMEN SCREAM) 612 00:37:49,184 --> 00:37:50,684 Come on! 613 00:37:51,353 --> 00:37:53,187 - Can't take the truth? - Bullshit! 614 00:37:53,647 --> 00:37:56,023 It was nothing but taking a cheap shot at me. 615 00:37:56,107 --> 00:37:58,067 Where I come from you don't do that to your friends. 616 00:37:58,151 --> 00:38:01,904 Where you from they're still saluting the flag and making novenas. 617 00:38:01,988 --> 00:38:03,155 No brawling in here. 618 00:38:03,448 --> 00:38:06,241 That goes for the help as well. 619 00:38:06,326 --> 00:38:08,744 I don't work here anymore. 620 00:38:08,828 --> 00:38:10,579 You wanna cut me, come on! 621 00:38:11,957 --> 00:38:13,248 MAN: Cool down, guys. 622 00:38:13,333 --> 00:38:15,501 You'll thank me for this one day. 623 00:38:16,169 --> 00:38:18,003 The fuck I will! 624 00:38:22,801 --> 00:38:24,468 Hey! (WHISTLES) 625 00:38:35,188 --> 00:38:37,147 (SLOW ROCK SONG PLAYING) 626 00:39:24,070 --> 00:39:25,821 Buddy? 627 00:39:25,905 --> 00:39:27,281 Hey, buddy! 628 00:39:29,284 --> 00:39:31,618 The name is not buddy or pal. 629 00:39:31,703 --> 00:39:34,788 The brochure promised me a drink on the house. 630 00:39:35,790 --> 00:39:37,332 I'll take one of those orange things. 631 00:39:37,417 --> 00:39:38,917 Excuse me. 632 00:39:39,169 --> 00:39:41,670 My friend just passed out on the beach. Do you have a phone? 633 00:39:41,755 --> 00:39:43,297 No. Excuse me. 634 00:39:50,805 --> 00:39:53,098 She was drinking champagne in the sun. 635 00:39:53,641 --> 00:39:57,853 Champagne. Perfume going in, sewage coming out. 636 00:39:57,937 --> 00:40:00,272 - Will she be all right? - Yeah, she'll be okay. 637 00:40:00,356 --> 00:40:02,149 Could somebody go down to the condo office 638 00:40:02,233 --> 00:40:03,692 and have them call an ambulance? 639 00:40:03,777 --> 00:40:05,027 Just in case. 640 00:40:05,111 --> 00:40:06,779 Let's get her up. 641 00:40:10,825 --> 00:40:12,701 The doctor will probably give her a shot of Ipecac. 642 00:40:12,786 --> 00:40:14,244 I don't want any more to drink. 643 00:40:15,288 --> 00:40:18,207 Don't worry. It'll make you feel better. It'll help you throw up. 644 00:40:18,291 --> 00:40:20,209 I don't want to throw up. 645 00:40:20,293 --> 00:40:22,961 Oh, God. I think I'm gonna throw up. 646 00:40:24,714 --> 00:40:26,965 No, I'm all right. 647 00:40:27,842 --> 00:40:29,968 She can never make up her mind. 648 00:40:30,136 --> 00:40:33,305 - Brian, I gotta hit the road, man. - Okay. 649 00:40:36,851 --> 00:40:39,353 Well, bye. 650 00:40:40,897 --> 00:40:43,315 It has been an adventure. (CHUCKLING) 651 00:40:43,525 --> 00:40:44,733 Mmm- hmm. 652 00:40:46,653 --> 00:40:47,820 Owen'll take care of you. 653 00:40:52,158 --> 00:40:54,159 (POP SONG PLAYING) 654 00:41:17,058 --> 00:41:19,852 Mark, I haven't forgotten about you. 655 00:41:20,145 --> 00:41:23,605 Welcome to my most humble, dishonorable establishment. 656 00:41:23,690 --> 00:41:25,315 Well, thank you. 657 00:41:25,400 --> 00:41:29,027 My worthless, useless services are at your disposal. 658 00:41:29,612 --> 00:41:33,240 I want to come by and thank you for helping out yesterday. 659 00:41:33,366 --> 00:41:34,992 That's all right. How's she doing? 660 00:41:35,076 --> 00:41:37,452 She has a hangover. 661 00:41:37,537 --> 00:41:39,163 (BOTH LAUGH) 662 00:41:39,247 --> 00:41:42,541 Can I buy you a drink? One of rum specialties, perhaps. 663 00:41:42,667 --> 00:41:44,042 I'll have a beer. 664 00:41:44,127 --> 00:41:45,460 Beer. 665 00:41:46,880 --> 00:41:49,089 My kind of woman. 666 00:41:51,634 --> 00:41:53,302 Guys. 667 00:41:56,639 --> 00:41:59,266 It seems like happy hour all day around here. 668 00:41:59,350 --> 00:42:01,393 Yes, happy hour. 669 00:42:01,477 --> 00:42:02,978 That great American invention for 670 00:42:03,062 --> 00:42:05,606 spending quality time with spouse soused. 671 00:42:05,690 --> 00:42:08,692 (LAUGHS) A bartender with a line for everything. 672 00:42:08,776 --> 00:42:10,611 The bartender. 673 00:42:10,737 --> 00:42:13,322 The highest evolution of the species. 674 00:42:14,240 --> 00:42:15,574 Boozus New Yorkus. 675 00:42:18,328 --> 00:42:19,411 Whoa! 676 00:42:19,746 --> 00:42:21,955 I used to work at a circus before I got this job. 677 00:42:22,040 --> 00:42:23,373 (LAUGHING) 678 00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:25,584 Excuse me. 679 00:42:43,436 --> 00:42:45,103 (INAUDIBLE) 680 00:42:54,739 --> 00:42:57,699 You wanna see a grown man cry like a baby? 681 00:42:57,784 --> 00:42:58,784 Hey, bartender. 682 00:42:59,118 --> 00:43:01,495 You know how to make a Red- eye? 683 00:43:09,754 --> 00:43:11,255 What, no tearful greeting? 684 00:43:12,632 --> 00:43:14,299 Coughlin's law. 685 00:43:14,425 --> 00:43:17,886 Never show surprise. Never lose your cool. 686 00:43:18,388 --> 00:43:19,638 Ah! My sons. 687 00:43:19,722 --> 00:43:21,556 My rebellious sons. 688 00:43:21,641 --> 00:43:23,141 Tell your old buddy how great he looks. 689 00:43:26,145 --> 00:43:30,190 You look like a guy who dyes his hair and shaves with a Brillo pad. 690 00:43:31,025 --> 00:43:34,278 A guy who gets an erection on his birthday if the wind is right. 691 00:43:34,362 --> 00:43:35,445 Isn't this great? 692 00:43:35,530 --> 00:43:38,073 Two years we haven't seen each other and we just flow into the old act. 693 00:43:38,157 --> 00:43:40,367 Please, stop molesting the customers. 694 00:43:41,577 --> 00:43:43,996 A daiquiri if you will, bartender. 695 00:43:46,291 --> 00:43:48,542 I taught this young man everything he knows. 696 00:43:48,668 --> 00:43:50,794 I doubt that. 697 00:43:50,878 --> 00:43:52,504 (MIXER WHIRRING) 698 00:43:53,464 --> 00:43:55,007 Don't you waste your loyalty on him. 699 00:43:55,091 --> 00:43:57,676 He'll dump you after Valentine's Day. 700 00:44:01,514 --> 00:44:03,015 Isn't that clever? 701 00:44:03,850 --> 00:44:06,184 What the hell are you doing down here? 702 00:44:07,186 --> 00:44:10,689 This lad is the best bartender south of 14th Street. 703 00:44:10,773 --> 00:44:12,024 It's his downfall. 704 00:44:12,108 --> 00:44:14,943 I don't see how being good at something can be your downfall. 705 00:44:15,028 --> 00:44:16,028 Thank you. 706 00:44:16,112 --> 00:44:18,697 I grant you, it's not an easy concept to grasp. 707 00:44:18,781 --> 00:44:20,782 Now you take our hero, here. 708 00:44:20,867 --> 00:44:23,452 I haven't seen him in a while and I've never been here before, 709 00:44:23,536 --> 00:44:25,037 but I will bet my bile duct 710 00:44:25,121 --> 00:44:28,874 that he's got some kind of success manual behind the bar. 711 00:44:29,167 --> 00:44:31,877 Come on, Flanagan. I know it's here. 712 00:44:38,843 --> 00:44:40,594 - Touché. - VoiIá. 713 00:44:41,054 --> 00:44:42,721 You see, Flanagan's a believer. 714 00:44:42,805 --> 00:44:43,847 Always will be. 715 00:44:43,931 --> 00:44:46,224 He doesn't realize the doors are shut to people like us. 716 00:44:46,309 --> 00:44:48,226 Maybe he wants to open them. 717 00:44:48,311 --> 00:44:50,103 Then he has to steal the keys, sweetheart. 718 00:44:50,188 --> 00:44:52,981 Something Coughlin here has been unable to do. 719 00:44:53,066 --> 00:44:55,442 I don't have to, not anymore. 720 00:44:55,526 --> 00:44:56,651 I've had my miracle. 721 00:44:57,028 --> 00:44:59,780 Oh, what? Some alky remember you in his will? 722 00:45:02,075 --> 00:45:03,450 Better. 723 00:45:03,534 --> 00:45:05,202 I am in love. 724 00:45:05,912 --> 00:45:06,912 Oh. 725 00:45:08,206 --> 00:45:09,998 There is my miracle. 726 00:45:11,125 --> 00:45:13,126 BRIAN: Who? Pocahontas over there? 727 00:45:13,211 --> 00:45:15,128 Waiting for everyone to notice her? 728 00:45:15,213 --> 00:45:17,923 How dare you speak that way about my wife. 729 00:45:18,424 --> 00:45:19,800 (LAUGHING) 730 00:45:21,260 --> 00:45:22,511 Your wife? 731 00:45:22,595 --> 00:45:25,222 - In your dreams. - For real. 732 00:45:25,306 --> 00:45:27,349 We are here on our honeymoon. 733 00:45:27,433 --> 00:45:28,475 Sweetheart! 734 00:45:31,604 --> 00:45:32,938 Come hither! 735 00:45:41,531 --> 00:45:42,781 You're married? 736 00:45:43,282 --> 00:45:45,992 This is true love, young Flanagan. 737 00:45:46,077 --> 00:45:47,994 True love with a kicker. 738 00:45:48,121 --> 00:45:50,288 She's got millions. 739 00:45:50,373 --> 00:45:51,623 Where were you? 740 00:45:51,707 --> 00:45:53,542 I thought you'd drowned or something. 741 00:45:53,626 --> 00:45:54,876 No such luck. 742 00:45:54,961 --> 00:45:56,837 Brian Flanagan. Kerry Coughlin. 743 00:45:56,921 --> 00:45:58,130 The love of my life. 744 00:45:59,465 --> 00:46:00,882 - BRIAN: Hello. - Hi. 745 00:46:00,967 --> 00:46:03,009 You see before you a changed man. 746 00:46:03,094 --> 00:46:07,013 The love of a good woman has made me see the light. 747 00:46:07,723 --> 00:46:09,850 (SINGING REGGAE SONG) 748 00:46:22,029 --> 00:46:25,157 Brian's cute. How long have you known him? 749 00:46:25,241 --> 00:46:27,367 About 1 0 hours. 750 00:46:31,664 --> 00:46:33,290 Excuse me. 751 00:46:33,374 --> 00:46:35,000 There you go. 752 00:46:35,543 --> 00:46:38,753 I have never seen a club with such intense dance vibes. 753 00:46:38,838 --> 00:46:41,381 Come on, let's decimate this dance floor. 754 00:46:45,678 --> 00:46:47,012 I don't get the two of them. 755 00:46:47,680 --> 00:46:52,601 Simple. She's a rich chick, whose family owns half of Manhattan. 756 00:46:52,685 --> 00:46:56,688 Just to piss them off, she decided to marry a bartender. 757 00:46:57,440 --> 00:46:58,940 True love. 758 00:46:59,025 --> 00:47:00,984 Let's dance. 759 00:47:26,552 --> 00:47:30,138 Do you ever have the feeling that you might meet somebody? 760 00:47:30,223 --> 00:47:32,974 You know when you walk into some place. 761 00:47:34,268 --> 00:47:36,978 - Star- crossed lovers syndrome? - Hmm. 762 00:47:37,063 --> 00:47:38,230 No. 763 00:47:38,314 --> 00:47:39,606 No? 764 00:47:40,858 --> 00:47:42,984 I had a premonition that I was gonna meet somebody 765 00:47:43,069 --> 00:47:44,194 when I came down here. 766 00:47:44,278 --> 00:47:45,820 - Really? - Mmm- hmm. 767 00:47:45,905 --> 00:47:48,281 You still got time, you know. 768 00:47:48,366 --> 00:47:51,451 Some woman must have really done a job on you. 769 00:47:51,536 --> 00:47:53,954 Why does it always have to be a woman? 770 00:47:54,038 --> 00:47:56,414 It doesn't. Your friend, what's his name... 771 00:47:56,499 --> 00:47:58,333 Doug could've done it to you. 772 00:47:58,417 --> 00:48:00,085 What's this? 773 00:48:00,169 --> 00:48:02,504 Immune to Coughlin's fatal charms? 774 00:48:02,588 --> 00:48:04,965 Give him a minute. You'll love him. All women do. 775 00:48:06,342 --> 00:48:08,510 I'm not like all women. 776 00:48:09,637 --> 00:48:11,680 I'll give you that. 777 00:48:12,890 --> 00:48:15,141 Of course, I'm not like all men either. 778 00:48:15,226 --> 00:48:17,477 Yes, you are an original, 779 00:48:17,562 --> 00:48:19,646 till you prove otherwise. 780 00:48:20,273 --> 00:48:21,982 (BOTH CHUCKLING) 781 00:48:22,066 --> 00:48:25,277 Uh- oh! I better be careful not to lose my unique status. 782 00:48:34,203 --> 00:48:36,955 So, is this one- night stand time? 783 00:48:38,040 --> 00:48:39,791 It doesn't make you a bad person. 784 00:48:41,335 --> 00:48:42,961 Your parents own half of Manhattan? 785 00:48:44,672 --> 00:48:46,381 No. 786 00:48:47,300 --> 00:48:50,969 Well, then your virtue is quite safe with me. 787 00:48:52,013 --> 00:48:54,014 For this evening anyway. 788 00:49:01,480 --> 00:49:04,232 Come on, I'll race you. Go! 789 00:49:04,317 --> 00:49:06,484 (UPBEAT REGGAE SONG PLAYING) 790 00:49:22,835 --> 00:49:24,169 Hi. 791 00:49:36,349 --> 00:49:37,682 (SCREAMS) 792 00:49:42,438 --> 00:49:50,487 (SCREAMING) 793 00:49:59,288 --> 00:50:00,330 Smile. 794 00:50:01,040 --> 00:50:02,374 (LAUGHING) 795 00:50:03,584 --> 00:50:04,876 So, this is your profession. 796 00:50:05,961 --> 00:50:08,088 More like my obsession. 797 00:50:08,714 --> 00:50:11,508 - Does it pay the rent? - Someday it will. 798 00:50:12,426 --> 00:50:15,595 Right now, though. I'm waiting tables at Jerry's Deli. 799 00:50:16,222 --> 00:50:17,806 Sure, I know the place. 800 00:50:17,890 --> 00:50:19,808 Home of the famous cement Danish. 801 00:50:20,518 --> 00:50:22,060 That's the one. 802 00:50:22,561 --> 00:50:24,270 - Yeah. - Hey! 803 00:50:25,815 --> 00:50:27,482 Don't look. It's not done. 804 00:50:27,566 --> 00:50:30,026 - This doesn't look like me. - It's the real you. 805 00:50:30,111 --> 00:50:32,362 You've captured my innermost soul. 806 00:50:33,280 --> 00:50:34,614 (GROANING) 807 00:50:35,783 --> 00:50:37,158 Are you okay? 808 00:50:38,244 --> 00:50:39,619 Shit. 809 00:50:39,704 --> 00:50:40,912 Aw! 810 00:50:46,544 --> 00:50:51,339 We should go on one of those. Tomorrow? 811 00:50:54,260 --> 00:50:55,844 There's a guy who makes these. 812 00:50:55,928 --> 00:50:56,970 One guy? 813 00:50:57,430 --> 00:50:58,763 He must be exhausted. 814 00:50:59,557 --> 00:51:01,057 Yes, he is. 815 00:51:01,142 --> 00:51:02,517 But still he gets up in the morning, 816 00:51:02,601 --> 00:51:05,603 he kisses his wife and he goes to his drink- umbrella factory, 817 00:51:05,688 --> 00:51:09,190 where he rips off 1 0 billion of these a year. 818 00:51:10,151 --> 00:51:11,276 This guy's a millionaire. 819 00:51:11,694 --> 00:51:13,903 How about the guy who makes these? 820 00:51:13,988 --> 00:51:15,071 How about that guy? 821 00:51:15,156 --> 00:51:17,782 Not to mention the guy who makes these. 822 00:51:17,908 --> 00:51:20,535 And those little wrappers are made by another guy. 823 00:51:22,955 --> 00:51:25,498 What these plastic things at the end of the laces? 824 00:51:26,167 --> 00:51:29,961 It's probably got one of those weird names too like flugelbinder... 825 00:51:30,045 --> 00:51:32,213 Flugelbinders, right. 826 00:51:33,674 --> 00:51:37,260 We sit here and we're surrounded by millionaires. 827 00:51:38,137 --> 00:51:42,223 You wrack your brains day and night to come up with a moneymaking scheme 828 00:51:42,308 --> 00:51:45,351 and some guy corners the flugelbinder market. 829 00:51:45,811 --> 00:51:48,354 Poor baby, he's frustrated. 830 00:51:49,982 --> 00:51:53,318 You get a barjob to keep your days free for your real gig. 831 00:51:54,361 --> 00:51:57,405 After work, you're so charged, you have a few drinks. 832 00:51:57,490 --> 00:51:59,324 "Hey, it's party time." 833 00:52:00,451 --> 00:52:03,244 Days get shorter and shorter, nights, longer and longer. 834 00:52:03,329 --> 00:52:06,581 Before you know it, your life is just one long night 835 00:52:06,665 --> 00:52:09,334 with a few comatose daylight hours. 836 00:52:11,545 --> 00:52:12,796 (CHUCKLES) 837 00:52:12,880 --> 00:52:15,298 "Stop feeling so sorry for yourself, Flanagan." 838 00:52:15,382 --> 00:52:19,427 Hey, your flugelbinder is out there waiting to be discovered. 839 00:52:19,845 --> 00:52:22,680 - Waiting. - You think so? 840 00:52:22,973 --> 00:52:24,057 I do. 841 00:52:35,486 --> 00:52:37,529 (SLOW REGGAE SONG PLAYING) 842 00:53:02,596 --> 00:53:04,597 No, stay. 843 00:53:05,266 --> 00:53:06,891 Stay there. 844 00:53:10,145 --> 00:53:11,312 BRIAN: Uh- oh! 845 00:53:20,990 --> 00:53:22,156 Ta- da! 846 00:54:14,627 --> 00:54:17,545 I wish we could stay here forever. 847 00:54:17,630 --> 00:54:20,632 Build a little hut over there on the beach. 848 00:54:20,716 --> 00:54:22,550 I'd fish and pick coconuts. 849 00:54:22,635 --> 00:54:25,303 No, I'd do the fishing and coconut- picking. 850 00:54:25,387 --> 00:54:26,804 - No. - Yes. 851 00:54:26,889 --> 00:54:29,098 You would make thatch skirts to sell to the tourists. 852 00:54:29,183 --> 00:54:30,558 - Really? - Mmm- hmm. 853 00:54:30,643 --> 00:54:32,769 Thatch one, purl two? 854 00:54:33,395 --> 00:54:36,189 Yeah, and we'd never go home. 855 00:54:37,024 --> 00:54:40,693 Our kids would look really great in dreadlocks, too. 856 00:54:41,487 --> 00:54:43,237 Kids? 857 00:54:57,670 --> 00:55:00,463 How you making out with that little blond chippie? 858 00:55:00,547 --> 00:55:03,716 How come I've always got the chippies and you're always with a princess? 859 00:55:03,801 --> 00:55:06,844 That's a question only you can answer. 860 00:55:06,929 --> 00:55:08,471 This man's phenomenal. 861 00:55:08,555 --> 00:55:09,931 Put him in a room full of women 862 00:55:10,015 --> 00:55:12,725 and he goes for the poorest and the dumbest every time. 863 00:55:12,810 --> 00:55:14,102 (MAN LAUGHING) 864 00:55:14,186 --> 00:55:16,354 The man's astounding. 865 00:55:16,438 --> 00:55:18,606 His wife parades half naked on the beach 866 00:55:18,691 --> 00:55:20,733 and he thinks she's just there for the sun. 867 00:55:21,193 --> 00:55:23,486 My wife does not need other men. 868 00:55:24,029 --> 00:55:26,906 You know what they say about sexual vanity in men over 40? 869 00:55:26,991 --> 00:55:28,616 It's the first sign of senility. 870 00:55:29,076 --> 00:55:32,161 Please try to keep your envy in check. 871 00:55:32,246 --> 00:55:34,539 - BRIAN: Envy? - He's my protégé. 872 00:55:34,873 --> 00:55:36,791 I taught him all I know. 873 00:55:36,875 --> 00:55:39,252 And with a token, it might get me on a subway. 874 00:55:39,336 --> 00:55:41,421 You can only take a guy so far. 875 00:55:41,505 --> 00:55:44,132 Then it's a question of biology. Biology is destiny. 876 00:55:44,216 --> 00:55:46,968 Ah! The old philosopher. 877 00:55:47,052 --> 00:55:49,303 There are two kinds of people in this world. 878 00:55:49,638 --> 00:55:51,389 The workers and the hustlers. 879 00:55:51,473 --> 00:55:53,433 The hustlers never work and the workers never hustle. 880 00:55:53,517 --> 00:55:56,644 And you my friend are a worker. 881 00:55:56,729 --> 00:55:58,730 God knows I've tried to beat that instinct out of him, 882 00:55:58,814 --> 00:56:01,315 but it's ingrained in your immigrant blood. 883 00:56:01,400 --> 00:56:04,736 Look how tasty your cocktails are, look how clean you keep your bar. 884 00:56:04,820 --> 00:56:07,780 You actually take pride in your work. 885 00:56:10,117 --> 00:56:11,159 I do not. 886 00:56:12,244 --> 00:56:15,038 Is he or isn't he a great bartender? 887 00:56:15,122 --> 00:56:16,664 - The best. - See? They love you. 888 00:56:19,501 --> 00:56:21,753 Listen, bozo, if you think I'm stuck in this gig... 889 00:56:21,837 --> 00:56:23,504 Face it, you're a career proletarian. 890 00:56:23,589 --> 00:56:27,633 You've been standing in a puddle so long you've got webbed feet. 891 00:56:27,718 --> 00:56:29,469 Just because he gets lucky with a rich chick... 892 00:56:29,553 --> 00:56:32,555 Lucky, he says. You couldn't do it. 893 00:56:32,639 --> 00:56:36,267 I've know this man for 3 years and believe me, he's not a closer. 894 00:56:36,351 --> 00:56:39,771 This place is crawling with moneyed females. 895 00:56:40,773 --> 00:56:42,899 Case in point. 896 00:56:42,983 --> 00:56:45,610 Rich and ripe and out of your league. 897 00:56:48,113 --> 00:56:49,864 - Out of my league? - Mmm- hmm. 898 00:56:49,948 --> 00:56:52,784 She just happened to be here checking me out the other night. 899 00:56:53,619 --> 00:56:56,954 Maybe she had 1 5 minutes to kill. (LAUGHING) 900 00:56:58,415 --> 00:57:01,709 Know what it'd take to make a score on a smart woman like that? 901 00:57:01,794 --> 00:57:03,211 You'd have to get over on her, 902 00:57:03,295 --> 00:57:05,755 her managers, her lawyers, her trustees, her maid 903 00:57:05,964 --> 00:57:07,924 and her tennis coach. 904 00:57:08,008 --> 00:57:09,092 (MEN LAUGH) 905 00:57:10,052 --> 00:57:12,470 I've been training for this my whole life. 906 00:57:14,598 --> 00:57:19,393 $50 says you don't even make it over the bar. 907 00:57:19,478 --> 00:57:21,938 (WHISTLES) Tell me. 908 00:57:22,397 --> 00:57:24,107 That's a bet. 909 00:57:24,942 --> 00:57:27,610 You guys are in on this. Be cool. 910 00:57:30,989 --> 00:57:33,908 - MademoiseIIe. - Vodka on the rocks with a lime. 911 00:57:33,992 --> 00:57:35,993 No, this is the tropics. 912 00:57:36,328 --> 00:57:38,412 At least try a Jus d'Amour. 913 00:57:38,997 --> 00:57:40,540 - Pardon me? - A Jus d'Amour. 914 00:57:40,624 --> 00:57:43,417 It means juice of love. 915 00:57:44,128 --> 00:57:47,130 It's made with fresh fruit right off the vine. 916 00:57:47,714 --> 00:57:51,843 Trust me when I tell you that it is nothing short... 917 00:57:53,720 --> 00:57:55,847 of spectacular. 918 00:57:58,809 --> 00:58:02,436 Excuse me. Do I have "fuck me" written on my forehead? 919 00:58:02,855 --> 00:58:04,313 (SNIGGERING) 920 00:58:05,649 --> 00:58:08,025 I can't see a thing without my contacts. 921 00:58:10,028 --> 00:58:12,363 You're just full of confidence, aren't you? 922 00:58:14,116 --> 00:58:16,159 Kinda makes you curious, don't it? 923 00:58:18,328 --> 00:58:20,121 Mighty Casey has struck out. 924 00:58:20,205 --> 00:58:23,082 WOMAN: Now, I don't... BRIAN: Game's not over yet. 925 00:58:23,167 --> 00:58:24,208 It wouldn't be any fun 926 00:58:24,293 --> 00:58:27,211 if they fell over with their legs in the air, would it? 927 00:58:30,382 --> 00:58:31,716 Bartender? 928 00:58:35,012 --> 00:58:36,721 Excuse me. 929 00:58:47,399 --> 00:58:49,859 BRIAN: Good night, Paul. Thanks a lot. It was a good night. 930 00:58:54,948 --> 00:58:56,490 (BOTH LAUGHING) 931 00:58:58,577 --> 00:59:00,369 BRIAN: You are bad. 932 00:59:28,607 --> 00:59:30,733 (MELLOW REGGAE SONG PLAYING) 933 01:00:03,433 --> 01:00:04,684 (SIGHING) 934 01:00:29,710 --> 01:00:30,876 BRIAN: Hey, Dulcy. 935 01:00:32,504 --> 01:00:34,463 Where's Jordan? 936 01:00:34,923 --> 01:00:38,342 She left on a flight back to New York late last night. 937 01:00:38,427 --> 01:00:40,052 What'd you do to her anyway? 938 01:01:03,952 --> 01:01:05,036 (KNOCKING AT DOOR) 939 01:01:05,120 --> 01:01:07,872 Brian, are you there? 940 01:01:07,956 --> 01:01:09,707 It's Bonnie. 941 01:01:09,791 --> 01:01:11,792 Brian? 942 01:01:11,877 --> 01:01:12,918 Come in. 943 01:01:17,215 --> 01:01:18,632 Hi. 944 01:01:21,428 --> 01:01:23,554 You found my secret hiding place. 945 01:01:23,638 --> 01:01:25,806 The guys at the bar told me. 946 01:01:26,600 --> 01:01:28,684 I've been thinking about you all day. 947 01:01:29,686 --> 01:01:31,062 Yeah? 948 01:01:31,772 --> 01:01:34,106 The plane ride home will cure that. 949 01:01:34,483 --> 01:01:36,901 What I got there ain't no cure for. 950 01:01:37,903 --> 01:01:39,862 You can't send me away like this. 951 01:01:39,946 --> 01:01:42,239 I don't know what'll happen to me if you do. 952 01:01:42,366 --> 01:01:43,783 My business'll go to hell. 953 01:01:44,576 --> 01:01:46,494 I'll start writing bad checks. 954 01:01:46,578 --> 01:01:48,287 We can't have that now, can we? 955 01:01:48,372 --> 01:01:50,122 No. 956 01:01:51,041 --> 01:01:52,333 (KISSES) 957 01:01:52,793 --> 01:01:54,919 You don't really want me to go away, do you? 958 01:01:55,003 --> 01:01:56,504 (GROANING) 959 01:01:57,672 --> 01:01:59,006 (GIGGLING) 960 01:02:00,342 --> 01:02:01,634 (GROWLING PLAYFULLY) 961 01:02:07,891 --> 01:02:11,185 These drinks are going to be very tasty. 962 01:02:16,108 --> 01:02:18,275 - Into the market now, are we? - Mmm- hmm. 963 01:02:18,985 --> 01:02:21,070 What's my greatest talent? 964 01:02:21,154 --> 01:02:23,197 Reading between the lines. 965 01:02:23,281 --> 01:02:25,866 That's what the market's all about. 966 01:02:25,951 --> 01:02:27,451 BOTH: Cheers. 967 01:02:29,955 --> 01:02:31,664 I must admit, 968 01:02:32,791 --> 01:02:35,376 I never thought I'd see you set up like this. 969 01:02:35,919 --> 01:02:39,171 Don't you worry, I won't forget my close friends. 970 01:02:40,215 --> 01:02:41,549 Kerry's old man has just backed me 971 01:02:41,633 --> 01:02:44,552 in the most luxurious joint Manhattan's ever seen. 972 01:02:44,636 --> 01:02:46,720 We open in a couple of weeks. 973 01:02:46,805 --> 01:02:50,683 You come back to New York with us and I'll make you head bartender. 974 01:02:50,809 --> 01:02:53,394 That sounds very nice, 975 01:02:53,478 --> 01:02:55,354 but I've got plans of my own. 976 01:02:56,356 --> 01:02:58,023 Like what? 977 01:02:58,150 --> 01:02:59,817 Bonnie's hooking me up with her business. 978 01:03:00,694 --> 01:03:02,486 I'll be heading back to New York with her. 979 01:03:03,822 --> 01:03:04,947 A kept man, eh? 980 01:03:05,991 --> 01:03:08,826 You think you made a breakthrough cutting that blonde lose. 981 01:03:08,910 --> 01:03:10,786 Meanwhile your conscience is killing you. 982 01:03:11,371 --> 01:03:14,540 If she hadn't left, you'd be back there begging. 983 01:03:15,792 --> 01:03:16,876 You think so, eh? 984 01:03:17,335 --> 01:03:18,419 Uh- huh. 985 01:03:18,503 --> 01:03:22,590 And bottle of Louis XIII says you'll be working for me by St. Patrick's Day. 986 01:03:22,674 --> 01:03:25,843 (WHISTLES) $500 bottle of brandy. 987 01:03:27,345 --> 01:03:29,138 I'll have to take that bet. 988 01:03:44,779 --> 01:03:46,238 (DANCE MUSIC PLAYING ON TV) 989 01:03:46,323 --> 01:03:49,283 WOMAN ON TV: Wake up! On your feet, come on! 990 01:03:49,367 --> 01:03:52,912 Whoo! One, two, three, four! 991 01:03:52,996 --> 01:03:55,414 Work those hips. Come on, girIs! 992 01:03:56,875 --> 01:03:58,250 FeeI it burn. 993 01:03:58,335 --> 01:03:59,919 That's right! Burn it. 994 01:04:00,003 --> 01:04:01,504 Morning, babe. 995 01:04:01,588 --> 01:04:04,215 Listen, can you get me some carrot juice from the fridge? 996 01:04:04,716 --> 01:04:05,925 Get some for yourself, too. 997 01:04:06,718 --> 01:04:07,885 It's addictive. 998 01:04:09,179 --> 01:04:11,222 Every fucking morning. 999 01:04:13,391 --> 01:04:16,602 Just tell him not to make a move until he's seen our line, that's all. 1000 01:04:16,686 --> 01:04:19,230 Send Harvey to Dallas right away. 1001 01:04:21,650 --> 01:04:23,150 Good, Tony. 1002 01:04:23,235 --> 01:04:25,236 Great. You are beautiful. 1003 01:04:27,697 --> 01:04:29,740 Okay, I'll be in the office in 1 5. 1004 01:04:29,824 --> 01:04:31,033 Ciao, Tony. 1005 01:04:31,868 --> 01:04:33,202 Tony? 1006 01:04:33,286 --> 01:04:35,996 Tony Scaduto, the sales manager? 1007 01:04:36,081 --> 01:04:37,289 I thought he was in Mexico. 1008 01:04:37,415 --> 01:04:39,208 He got back Friday. 1009 01:04:39,292 --> 01:04:40,876 Then I can go see him. 1010 01:04:40,961 --> 01:04:43,921 Let it wait just a smidgen longer. 1011 01:04:44,422 --> 01:04:46,840 Remember, you're picking me up at 7:00 tonight. 1012 01:04:46,925 --> 01:04:49,093 Why don't you wear the gray pinstripe we bought you last week? 1013 01:04:50,512 --> 01:04:51,762 Okay. 1014 01:04:52,556 --> 01:04:54,807 Did you tell him about my marketing ideas? 1015 01:04:54,891 --> 01:04:59,103 Honey, I don't want them to think I'm shoving my boyfriend down their throat. 1016 01:04:59,187 --> 01:05:01,188 What difference does it make? You're the boss. 1017 01:05:01,898 --> 01:05:06,277 These guys are top salesmen. I can't treat them like office boys. 1018 01:05:06,361 --> 01:05:07,778 Listen to me. 1019 01:05:09,573 --> 01:05:11,031 You could wait six months, 1020 01:05:11,116 --> 01:05:14,201 you'd still be the youngest sales manager in the business. 1021 01:05:14,286 --> 01:05:15,327 Trust me, baby. 1022 01:05:41,354 --> 01:05:43,314 (INAUDIBLE) 1023 01:05:57,037 --> 01:05:58,412 (TAXI HONKING) 1024 01:05:58,496 --> 01:06:01,290 TAXI DRIVER: Hey! Get that heap out of the way! 1025 01:06:01,374 --> 01:06:03,959 - How am I gonna get out of here? - LIMO DRIVER: Cool down, buddy. 1026 01:06:04,044 --> 01:06:05,919 TAXI DRIVER: You limo drivers are all alike. 1027 01:06:06,004 --> 01:06:08,422 You stand around with your finger up your ass. 1028 01:06:08,506 --> 01:06:09,798 LIMO DRIVER: Give us a break. 1029 01:06:09,883 --> 01:06:11,508 MAN: You'll give him a heart attack. 1030 01:06:15,513 --> 01:06:16,764 Art! 1031 01:06:16,848 --> 01:06:18,349 Hello! 1032 01:06:18,725 --> 01:06:21,727 So good to see you. Hello, darling. 1033 01:06:22,354 --> 01:06:24,938 God, it's been ages. 1034 01:06:25,023 --> 01:06:26,065 Hi. 1035 01:06:26,149 --> 01:06:28,067 You look fabulous in that coat. 1036 01:06:28,151 --> 01:06:30,444 That color is gorgeous on you. 1037 01:06:30,528 --> 01:06:32,446 Darling? 1038 01:06:34,074 --> 01:06:36,200 What a drag. She said she was totally sorry. 1039 01:06:37,869 --> 01:06:39,745 Take my coat, will you? 1040 01:06:48,171 --> 01:06:49,922 I like that piece there. 1041 01:06:53,551 --> 01:06:55,678 How are you? 1042 01:06:56,388 --> 01:06:57,971 (BONNIE GIGGLING) 1043 01:07:04,854 --> 01:07:07,481 Bonnie, let's get out of here. 1044 01:07:07,565 --> 01:07:09,858 Darling, I think you've had enough to drink. 1045 01:07:09,943 --> 01:07:11,318 Brian. 1046 01:07:11,403 --> 01:07:13,028 What, are we playing musical high balls here? 1047 01:07:13,113 --> 01:07:14,488 Heel, boy. 1048 01:07:14,572 --> 01:07:15,572 Come again? 1049 01:07:15,657 --> 01:07:17,991 Haven't gotten this one party- broken, have you? 1050 01:07:18,076 --> 01:07:20,828 This is Robert Powell, he's the sculptor. 1051 01:07:20,912 --> 01:07:21,912 Oh! 1052 01:07:23,331 --> 01:07:25,249 How do you do? 1053 01:07:25,333 --> 01:07:27,334 - Interesting work. - Thank you. 1054 01:07:27,419 --> 01:07:30,713 It's very urban in orientation. 1055 01:07:31,297 --> 01:07:32,464 Robert, tell me. 1056 01:07:32,549 --> 01:07:36,510 How did you get the cockroach to stand still... 1057 01:07:36,594 --> 01:07:38,470 You're drunk. 1058 01:07:39,764 --> 01:07:40,931 And you're ugly. 1059 01:07:42,726 --> 01:07:43,726 (GROANS) 1060 01:07:43,810 --> 01:07:45,060 BONNIE: Brian! 1061 01:07:46,020 --> 01:07:47,938 BRIAN: Could you hold this? 1062 01:07:50,775 --> 01:07:52,151 I'm okay. 1063 01:07:53,319 --> 01:07:54,695 (GROANING) 1064 01:07:55,321 --> 01:07:56,947 (PEOPLE EXCLAIMING) 1065 01:07:57,782 --> 01:07:59,658 How could you do this? 1066 01:07:59,743 --> 01:08:01,577 BRIAN: Have a nice day! 1067 01:08:11,546 --> 01:08:13,046 Come on, this suspense is killing me. 1068 01:08:13,131 --> 01:08:14,923 At least you could apologize. 1069 01:08:15,008 --> 01:08:16,842 Apologize? 1070 01:08:17,385 --> 01:08:20,471 - Yes. - We have to talk about this seriously. 1071 01:08:23,183 --> 01:08:26,685 Talk is overrated as a means of resolving disputes. 1072 01:08:31,900 --> 01:08:34,485 I moved my stuff out of your place this afternoon. 1073 01:08:35,361 --> 01:08:37,279 Left a can of Spam in the refrigerator. 1074 01:08:37,363 --> 01:08:39,364 I hope your Brewer's yeast doesn't take it personally. 1075 01:08:39,991 --> 01:08:41,742 Bastard! 1076 01:08:41,826 --> 01:08:43,035 (GRUNTS ANGRILY) 1077 01:08:43,119 --> 01:08:44,828 Shit! 1078 01:08:45,455 --> 01:08:47,331 Oh, God, I'm sorry. 1079 01:08:49,709 --> 01:08:51,543 I'm... Brian. 1080 01:08:51,628 --> 01:08:53,253 Listen, baby. 1081 01:08:53,338 --> 01:08:54,922 I've got some interviews set up for tomorrow. 1082 01:08:55,006 --> 01:08:56,590 Forget it! 1083 01:08:56,674 --> 01:08:58,592 I am not a salesman. 1084 01:08:59,093 --> 01:09:02,805 I tried to sell out to you, but I couldn't close the deal. 1085 01:09:02,889 --> 01:09:04,348 Please. 1086 01:09:04,891 --> 01:09:06,725 I don't want to end it this way. 1087 01:09:06,810 --> 01:09:10,729 Jesus, everything ends badly, otherwise it wouldn't end. 1088 01:09:11,564 --> 01:09:12,606 Believe me. 1089 01:09:12,690 --> 01:09:15,984 You'll wake up in the morning with a sigh of relief 1090 01:09:16,069 --> 01:09:17,778 because I'm not there. 1091 01:09:42,637 --> 01:09:44,388 (LOUD MUSIC PLAYING) 1092 01:09:58,486 --> 01:10:01,071 - Waitress. - I'll be there in a second. 1093 01:10:05,285 --> 01:10:08,829 Excuse me, could you tell me what the specials are please? 1094 01:10:08,913 --> 01:10:10,414 What are you doing here? 1095 01:10:11,249 --> 01:10:13,208 Bet you thought you'd never see me again. 1096 01:10:13,751 --> 01:10:15,127 "Hoped" is a better word. 1097 01:10:15,211 --> 01:10:17,588 - WOMAN: Excuse me. - I'll be there in a minute. 1098 01:10:18,089 --> 01:10:19,923 Miss, we have theater tickets. 1099 01:10:20,258 --> 01:10:22,217 You obviously are not here to eat, 1100 01:10:22,302 --> 01:10:23,719 so I'd appreciate it if you'd leave. 1101 01:10:23,803 --> 01:10:26,763 - MAN: Miss! - I'll be there in a minute! 1102 01:10:27,098 --> 01:10:28,807 I'm not leaving. 1103 01:10:29,225 --> 01:10:31,518 Your sexy, little smile is not gonna work this time. 1104 01:10:33,438 --> 01:10:35,314 I'm not leaving. That's it. 1105 01:10:35,773 --> 01:10:37,065 You're not leaving? 1106 01:10:38,192 --> 01:10:40,193 Not until you let me apologize. 1107 01:10:41,821 --> 01:10:44,698 Did you say you'd like to see the specials, sir? 1108 01:10:44,782 --> 01:10:45,991 I'd like to see the specials. 1109 01:10:53,750 --> 01:10:56,251 Look, we've been waiting... 1110 01:10:56,336 --> 01:10:58,962 Today's specials are Meatloaf Mozzarella, 1111 01:10:59,297 --> 01:11:00,297 (GRUNTS) 1112 01:11:00,381 --> 01:11:02,007 Chicken á la King. 1113 01:11:02,091 --> 01:11:03,091 (SIGHS) 1114 01:11:03,801 --> 01:11:07,054 May I suggest some ketchup for your fries. 1115 01:11:10,600 --> 01:11:12,351 Fuck. 1116 01:11:17,482 --> 01:11:19,274 BRIAN: Shit. 1117 01:11:20,485 --> 01:11:21,860 (CHUCKLING) 1118 01:11:23,196 --> 01:11:26,573 I'd think twice about ordering the specials if I were you. 1119 01:11:36,834 --> 01:11:39,503 Spare change for my dry cleaning? 1120 01:11:39,587 --> 01:11:41,421 JORDAN: Sorry. Payday's Friday. 1121 01:11:41,506 --> 01:11:43,757 You wouldn't treat a stray dog like this. 1122 01:11:43,841 --> 01:11:46,301 A stray dog can be loyal. 1123 01:11:46,386 --> 01:11:48,804 All right, I'm a rat and there's no hope for me. 1124 01:11:48,888 --> 01:11:51,682 But even I have a right to defend myself, 1125 01:11:51,766 --> 01:11:54,101 or at least to explain. 1126 01:11:55,103 --> 01:11:56,353 JORDAN: Taxi! 1127 01:11:58,231 --> 01:11:59,898 Come on in. 1128 01:12:18,418 --> 01:12:20,794 Is this our waterfall? 1129 01:12:20,878 --> 01:12:22,087 No. 1130 01:12:22,755 --> 01:12:25,007 It's terrific. 1131 01:12:25,091 --> 01:12:28,427 Yeah, it's all right. Name's Mooney, not Monet. 1132 01:12:31,556 --> 01:12:35,934 So, why did you humiliate me like that in Jamaica? 1133 01:12:37,687 --> 01:12:39,271 How did I humiliate you? 1134 01:12:40,106 --> 01:12:41,648 Brian, I was there. 1135 01:12:41,733 --> 01:12:44,109 I saw you go off with that woman. 1136 01:12:45,570 --> 01:12:47,612 You're such an asshole. 1137 01:12:55,204 --> 01:12:57,372 It's not as bad as it seems. 1138 01:12:57,832 --> 01:13:00,208 Doug landed a rich chick, 1139 01:13:01,461 --> 01:13:04,004 and that night he bet me that I couldn't do the same. 1140 01:13:04,088 --> 01:13:08,258 A rich chick? You'd go with a woman just because she had money. 1141 01:13:08,342 --> 01:13:10,302 No, it's not the money. 1142 01:13:10,386 --> 01:13:13,972 He bet me that I wasn't good enough to hustle her. 1143 01:13:14,515 --> 01:13:16,516 Hustle her? 1144 01:13:16,601 --> 01:13:18,268 I was worth so little to you 1145 01:13:18,352 --> 01:13:20,520 that you could just take some stupid juvenile bet? 1146 01:13:20,605 --> 01:13:24,232 No. A guy lays down a dare, you gotta take it. 1147 01:13:25,818 --> 01:13:29,613 Brian, how do you think I felt seeing you go off with some woman 1148 01:13:29,697 --> 01:13:31,448 after the time we spent together? 1149 01:13:31,532 --> 01:13:34,201 Hold on. You were pushing me down there. 1150 01:13:34,285 --> 01:13:36,787 You were coming on too strong, too fast. 1151 01:13:37,288 --> 01:13:38,914 Oh, I was pushing you? 1152 01:13:38,998 --> 01:13:40,916 You happened to be there, too. 1153 01:13:41,000 --> 01:13:44,628 I thought we had something going. I didn't play any games with you. 1154 01:13:44,837 --> 01:13:46,546 I know. 1155 01:13:48,758 --> 01:13:50,050 (SIGHING) 1156 01:13:50,468 --> 01:13:52,260 I'm sorry... 1157 01:13:53,930 --> 01:13:55,806 I guess I just got spooked. 1158 01:13:56,933 --> 01:14:00,685 But now I know I can handle it. 1159 01:14:00,770 --> 01:14:02,687 Oh, you can handle it, huh? 1160 01:14:04,315 --> 01:14:06,191 What if you got spooked again? 1161 01:14:06,901 --> 01:14:08,401 I won't. 1162 01:14:08,486 --> 01:14:11,321 - I'll bet I can spook you. - No way. 1163 01:14:13,241 --> 01:14:14,825 I'm pregnant. 1164 01:14:16,577 --> 01:14:18,161 I'm spooked. 1165 01:14:20,289 --> 01:14:21,832 It's mine? 1166 01:14:22,834 --> 01:14:27,295 - I was only asking! - You're not going to be burdened. 1167 01:14:27,380 --> 01:14:30,382 You can still go out and make a million. Don't worry. 1168 01:14:30,466 --> 01:14:33,969 I'm not worried. I mean, I am worried. 1169 01:14:34,053 --> 01:14:36,763 I don't want to talk about it anymore. 1170 01:14:36,848 --> 01:14:38,348 Just go! 1171 01:14:38,641 --> 01:14:41,810 - Why? - Because I want you to! Just go! 1172 01:14:45,189 --> 01:14:48,191 You let me come up here just so you could kick me out. Didn't you? 1173 01:14:48,317 --> 01:14:49,317 Mmm- hmm. 1174 01:15:01,873 --> 01:15:03,206 (SOBBING) No. 1175 01:15:05,501 --> 01:15:07,377 No, just get out! 1176 01:15:08,254 --> 01:15:09,254 I know you're upset, 1177 01:15:09,338 --> 01:15:12,215 but if this is the way it's gonna be, why'd you tell me about the baby? 1178 01:15:13,009 --> 01:15:16,511 Because I knew it would be the best way to get you out of my life. 1179 01:15:32,236 --> 01:15:33,695 (DOOR SHUTS) 1180 01:15:34,614 --> 01:15:35,989 (SNIFFLING) 1181 01:15:41,579 --> 01:15:42,537 COMMENTATOR: Madison Square Garden, 1182 01:15:42,622 --> 01:15:44,664 Syracuse trying to stay within striking distance... 1183 01:15:47,585 --> 01:15:50,045 That's for cigarette change! 1184 01:15:50,129 --> 01:15:52,005 When you hand it to me, it's for change. 1185 01:15:52,089 --> 01:15:55,675 When you put it on the edge of the bar, it's a tip. 1186 01:15:55,801 --> 01:15:58,970 - Hey, kid! - Hi, Uncle Pat, Ed. How are you? 1187 01:16:00,431 --> 01:16:02,432 I got a problem. Got time for a quick talk? 1188 01:16:02,516 --> 01:16:05,060 Make it fast. I'm real busy here. 1189 01:16:10,233 --> 01:16:11,274 What's the matter? 1190 01:16:15,780 --> 01:16:17,447 I'm going to be a father. 1191 01:16:19,283 --> 01:16:21,660 - That's it, bar's closed. Finish up. - WOMAN: Come on! 1192 01:16:21,744 --> 01:16:23,411 Come on, hit the road. Let's go. 1193 01:16:23,496 --> 01:16:26,289 - Eddie, finish up. Everybody out. - What? 1194 01:16:28,125 --> 01:16:31,795 You ought to know better than to come to a bartender for advice. 1195 01:16:32,546 --> 01:16:34,464 What am I going to do about this girl? 1196 01:16:34,548 --> 01:16:35,882 Nothing. 1197 01:16:36,509 --> 01:16:37,676 What do you mean, nothing? 1198 01:16:38,302 --> 01:16:40,220 She's not trying to shake you down, 1199 01:16:40,304 --> 01:16:42,764 not making you marry her, you don't care about her. 1200 01:16:42,848 --> 01:16:44,099 You can walk away from the whole thing. 1201 01:16:47,895 --> 01:16:49,646 What if I do care about her? 1202 01:16:50,106 --> 01:16:51,523 Then you got a problem. 1203 01:16:53,985 --> 01:16:55,694 (BANGING ON DOOR) 1204 01:16:56,487 --> 01:16:58,989 Jordan, I just want to talk to you. 1205 01:17:00,491 --> 01:17:03,576 She's not hiding. She's not home. 1206 01:17:03,661 --> 01:17:06,162 She's at her parents' place. Go bang down their door. 1207 01:17:06,497 --> 01:17:08,498 You wouldn't happen to know where that is, would you? 1208 01:17:09,041 --> 01:17:11,126 Sure, Park Avenue. Corner of 67th. 1209 01:17:13,379 --> 01:17:16,047 - Park Avenue? - Yeah. 1210 01:17:17,049 --> 01:17:18,508 (DOOR SHUTS) 1211 01:17:22,847 --> 01:17:24,597 RECEPTIONIST: You get here when you say you will, 1212 01:17:24,682 --> 01:17:26,516 or you won't work in this building again. 1213 01:17:26,600 --> 01:17:28,143 Excuse me. 1214 01:17:28,227 --> 01:17:29,769 So you'll be here what time? 1215 01:17:29,854 --> 01:17:31,604 I don't mean to bother you... 1216 01:17:31,689 --> 01:17:33,606 What time did you say you'd be here? 1217 01:17:33,691 --> 01:17:35,275 Hello? 1218 01:17:35,359 --> 01:17:37,402 Sorry, what apartment are the Mooneys in? 1219 01:17:37,486 --> 01:17:39,654 It's a penthouse. Your name, please? 1220 01:17:39,739 --> 01:17:42,282 - Brian Flanagan. - Are the Mooneys expecting you? 1221 01:17:42,366 --> 01:17:43,700 No, not exactly. 1222 01:17:43,784 --> 01:17:47,037 All visitors have to be announced, Mr. Flanagan. 1223 01:17:52,043 --> 01:17:53,877 (DOORBELL RINGS) 1224 01:17:59,216 --> 01:18:01,885 Mr. Flanagan, would you come in, please? 1225 01:18:01,969 --> 01:18:04,554 - May I take your coat, sir? - Okay. 1226 01:18:08,100 --> 01:18:10,226 There'll be someone with you in a moment. 1227 01:18:10,311 --> 01:18:11,561 Thank you. 1228 01:18:30,081 --> 01:18:31,331 I'm Richard Mooney. 1229 01:18:32,583 --> 01:18:35,418 - I'm Jordan's father. - I'm Brian Flanagan. 1230 01:18:36,420 --> 01:18:38,671 - I've come to see her. - She's not here. 1231 01:18:38,756 --> 01:18:40,757 But come in. 1232 01:18:40,841 --> 01:18:42,634 I'd like to talk to you. 1233 01:18:46,764 --> 01:18:48,098 Sit down. 1234 01:18:52,853 --> 01:18:56,648 I've certainly heard a lot about you in the last couple of days. 1235 01:18:59,568 --> 01:19:02,695 I don't know what really happened between the two of you, but... 1236 01:19:03,948 --> 01:19:06,866 I must say, you've got a lot of nerve 1237 01:19:06,951 --> 01:19:09,077 coming up here after what you did to Jordan. 1238 01:19:09,161 --> 01:19:11,204 I understand that, 1239 01:19:11,288 --> 01:19:13,998 and I realize that Jordan is very upset. 1240 01:19:15,126 --> 01:19:16,584 But if I could talk to her, make her see 1241 01:19:16,669 --> 01:19:19,087 that I'm gonna stick by her through this... 1242 01:19:19,171 --> 01:19:21,714 I hope you're not suggesting that you'll marry her. 1243 01:19:24,802 --> 01:19:25,844 (SIGHS) 1244 01:19:25,928 --> 01:19:29,514 I'm not sure what we're gonna do. We have a lot to talk about... 1245 01:19:29,598 --> 01:19:32,809 The hell you do! 1246 01:19:34,019 --> 01:19:37,105 Look, I know Jordan a lot better than you do, 1247 01:19:37,189 --> 01:19:39,858 and I've never seen her as unhappy as she is at this moment. 1248 01:19:40,317 --> 01:19:43,486 She is just not very wise in the ways of the world. 1249 01:19:43,571 --> 01:19:47,240 Right now, what she needs around are people she can trust. 1250 01:19:47,324 --> 01:19:50,452 - She can trust me. - She doesn't want to see you. 1251 01:19:51,370 --> 01:19:53,329 She doesn't even want to talk to you. 1252 01:19:54,957 --> 01:19:57,792 Just wait here one moment, will you please? 1253 01:19:59,503 --> 01:20:01,004 (SIGHS) 1254 01:20:07,887 --> 01:20:09,679 - Good afternoon, Miss Mooney. - Hi. 1255 01:20:15,227 --> 01:20:18,771 - Mr. Mooney, I think I'm just gonna... - Flanagan, here. 1256 01:20:19,440 --> 01:20:21,774 - What the hell's this? - That's for you. 1257 01:20:25,988 --> 01:20:28,615 $1 0,000. 1258 01:20:29,867 --> 01:20:34,120 - Is that all your daughter's worth? - How much will it take? 1259 01:20:34,497 --> 01:20:36,206 I don't want your goddamn money. 1260 01:20:37,208 --> 01:20:39,667 You can't buy me out of Jordan's life! 1261 01:20:40,002 --> 01:20:42,754 You think I'd let some bartender destroy my daughter's life? 1262 01:20:42,838 --> 01:20:45,465 - That is her choice! - The hell you say! 1263 01:20:45,549 --> 01:20:47,509 JORDAN: What is going on here? 1264 01:20:48,052 --> 01:20:50,011 Jordan, I came here to talk to you. 1265 01:20:50,095 --> 01:20:53,806 - If you don't get out of here... - Dad, I'll handle this! 1266 01:20:55,017 --> 01:20:57,810 I know the other night I didn't say the right things. 1267 01:20:57,895 --> 01:21:00,063 God knows I have not done the right things. 1268 01:21:01,065 --> 01:21:03,733 But I think there's a chance for us. 1269 01:21:04,485 --> 01:21:06,152 Brian, there is no "us." 1270 01:21:06,237 --> 01:21:08,821 There are too many things about "us" that don't work. 1271 01:21:08,906 --> 01:21:10,740 What about the baby? 1272 01:21:10,824 --> 01:21:13,368 A kid, I mean, our kid needs a father. 1273 01:21:14,912 --> 01:21:17,038 Not one that won't be around in a year. 1274 01:21:17,122 --> 01:21:19,874 With your lifestyle, what kind of father would you be? 1275 01:21:21,126 --> 01:21:24,504 Jordan, I want a second chance. 1276 01:21:26,048 --> 01:21:27,298 No. 1277 01:21:27,383 --> 01:21:30,510 - I deserve a second chance. - No. 1278 01:21:31,804 --> 01:21:35,014 How will I ever know that you're being honest with me? 1279 01:21:35,099 --> 01:21:37,141 You can barely be honest with yourself. 1280 01:21:37,226 --> 01:21:38,768 Honest? 1281 01:21:38,852 --> 01:21:40,770 Were you so honest? 1282 01:21:40,854 --> 01:21:43,356 Why didn't you tell me you were the original rich chick? 1283 01:21:43,440 --> 01:21:45,733 Because you're so hung up on money, 1284 01:21:45,818 --> 01:21:49,779 I was afraid I'd never know how you felt about me. 1285 01:21:49,863 --> 01:21:53,116 Me! How you'd really feel about me. 1286 01:21:56,453 --> 01:21:57,829 See this? 1287 01:21:59,081 --> 01:22:03,126 This is your father's idea of how to get me out of your life. 1288 01:22:07,131 --> 01:22:11,134 This is how hung up on money I am. 1289 01:22:12,636 --> 01:22:14,470 As for the way I feel about you, 1290 01:22:16,890 --> 01:22:19,225 I guess you'll never know. 1291 01:22:28,736 --> 01:22:30,778 WOMAN 1: Let me in! 1292 01:22:30,863 --> 01:22:32,363 WOMAN 2: Hey, what about us? 1293 01:22:32,448 --> 01:22:34,115 We've been here for two hours! 1294 01:22:34,199 --> 01:22:36,701 MAN: Let us in, Henry. It's cold out here. 1295 01:22:36,785 --> 01:22:37,910 WOMAN 3: Henry? Remember me? 1296 01:22:37,995 --> 01:22:39,912 WOMAN 4: I'm Bruce Springsteen's cousin. 1297 01:22:39,997 --> 01:22:41,914 - You look more like his couch. - MAN: Henry! 1298 01:22:41,999 --> 01:22:44,042 I'm Doug's friend. 1299 01:22:44,126 --> 01:22:47,045 Mr. Coughlin doesn't have any friends on a Saturday night. 1300 01:22:47,129 --> 01:22:49,505 - BRIAN: Good evening, Henry. - Hey! 1301 01:22:49,715 --> 01:22:51,507 (POP SONG PLAYING) 1302 01:22:55,596 --> 01:22:58,681 - Where's Doug Coughlin? - Over there. 1303 01:22:59,600 --> 01:23:01,351 Hey, you! 1304 01:23:01,685 --> 01:23:02,852 Doug! 1305 01:23:03,270 --> 01:23:05,480 - Coughlin! Doug! - Flanagan! 1306 01:23:06,273 --> 01:23:08,941 My best friend in the world! My only friend! 1307 01:23:09,360 --> 01:23:10,860 Piss off, Henry. It's okay. 1308 01:23:10,944 --> 01:23:14,280 It's great to see you, my only friend. Sit down. 1309 01:23:14,365 --> 01:23:17,033 It looks like you've got a lot of friends here this evening. 1310 01:23:17,117 --> 01:23:18,868 - Proctologist's dream. - What? 1311 01:23:18,952 --> 01:23:20,953 - Wall- to- wall assholes. - (CHUCKLING) 1312 01:23:21,038 --> 01:23:24,832 - Great to see you, Flanagan. - I've come to pay off my bet. 1313 01:23:24,917 --> 01:23:27,251 - Brian! - Kerry! 1314 01:23:29,630 --> 01:23:31,089 What are you doing here? 1315 01:23:31,799 --> 01:23:34,092 BRIAN: I've come to beg and plead for a job. 1316 01:23:34,385 --> 01:23:37,512 It'd be great to get some talent behind the bar. 1317 01:23:51,068 --> 01:23:53,569 Let's go somewhere where we can appreciate this. 1318 01:23:53,654 --> 01:23:55,113 Come on. 1319 01:24:03,580 --> 01:24:05,164 DOUG: Get in there. 1320 01:24:05,249 --> 01:24:07,333 Get in there and spend some money. 1321 01:24:07,418 --> 01:24:09,585 Keep me in the manner I'm accustomed to. 1322 01:24:09,670 --> 01:24:12,755 Get in there and spend some money, you two. 1323 01:24:13,215 --> 01:24:15,258 What do you think of my rowboat? 1324 01:24:16,677 --> 01:24:18,761 BRIAN: Jesus Christ! 1325 01:24:18,846 --> 01:24:20,346 DOUG: Come aboard, ye landlubber! 1326 01:24:24,810 --> 01:24:26,728 BRIAN: Baccarat crystal. 1327 01:24:27,604 --> 01:24:29,939 Louis XIII. VoiIá. 1328 01:24:31,108 --> 01:24:33,067 Should we let it breathe? 1329 01:24:33,152 --> 01:24:36,779 It hasn't breathed in 50 years. It's dead. 1330 01:24:36,864 --> 01:24:38,573 Let's just drink it. 1331 01:24:50,836 --> 01:24:54,505 - Health and friendship? - Life and love. 1332 01:25:03,599 --> 01:25:08,895 Douglas Coughlin, your ship has certainly come in! 1333 01:25:08,979 --> 01:25:09,979 (LAUGHS) 1334 01:25:12,399 --> 01:25:13,816 My ship. 1335 01:25:14,985 --> 01:25:19,238 My ship is going down, and I'm going down with it. 1336 01:25:19,323 --> 01:25:21,657 - How's that? - All this is an illusion. 1337 01:25:22,826 --> 01:25:25,787 I'm on my ass. I haven't got a pot to piss in. 1338 01:25:26,121 --> 01:25:27,205 Mmm. 1339 01:25:27,956 --> 01:25:30,333 $1 00,000 a week. Painful. 1340 01:25:31,668 --> 01:25:35,213 I should've read some of your sacred books, young Flanagan. 1341 01:25:36,507 --> 01:25:40,927 The only thing I know about saloons is how to pour whiskey and run my mouth. 1342 01:25:41,553 --> 01:25:44,555 I knew nothing about insurance, 1343 01:25:46,308 --> 01:25:51,813 or sales tax, or the building code, or labor costs, 1344 01:25:51,897 --> 01:25:55,441 or the power company, or purchasing, or linens. 1345 01:25:55,526 --> 01:25:58,027 Everyone with a hand stuck it in my pocket. 1346 01:25:58,111 --> 01:26:00,029 You must make enough to cover that. 1347 01:26:00,364 --> 01:26:04,534 If I'd stuck to what I know best, which is almost nothing. 1348 01:26:05,994 --> 01:26:09,789 Instead I put all the cash into commodities. 1349 01:26:09,873 --> 01:26:13,042 And blew the fucking lot. 1350 01:26:13,293 --> 01:26:14,293 (CHUCKLES) 1351 01:26:14,378 --> 01:26:18,840 On the margin. Buy, cover, buy, cover. 1352 01:26:19,800 --> 01:26:22,385 I wanted it fast. 1353 01:26:25,556 --> 01:26:27,682 See the headlines. 1354 01:26:27,766 --> 01:26:32,645 "Douglas Coughlin: From bartender to billionaire." 1355 01:26:32,896 --> 01:26:34,730 (CHUCKLES MIRTHLESSLY) 1356 01:26:38,735 --> 01:26:40,403 Hey, take it easy. 1357 01:26:40,487 --> 01:26:41,571 Relax. 1358 01:26:42,614 --> 01:26:46,325 The luck is gone, the brain is shot. 1359 01:26:46,410 --> 01:26:48,995 But the liquor, we still got. 1360 01:26:52,708 --> 01:26:54,542 KERRY: Doug? 1361 01:26:56,044 --> 01:26:58,087 Are you down there? 1362 01:26:58,171 --> 01:27:03,092 She knows nothing about this. She thinks I'm a fucking hero. 1363 01:27:09,141 --> 01:27:13,686 DOUG: My princess. My dream. 1364 01:27:13,770 --> 01:27:16,606 Baby, not again. 1365 01:27:16,690 --> 01:27:18,149 I want to go home. 1366 01:27:18,859 --> 01:27:20,026 Come here. 1367 01:27:21,612 --> 01:27:22,820 Toast, Flanagan. 1368 01:27:23,864 --> 01:27:27,533 To the first and last person I ever cared about. 1369 01:27:29,620 --> 01:27:31,287 My wife. 1370 01:27:31,371 --> 01:27:32,580 Doug? 1371 01:27:34,082 --> 01:27:36,125 Doug, wake up. 1372 01:27:36,209 --> 01:27:38,461 I want to go home. 1373 01:28:00,233 --> 01:28:03,945 You know you're the only person in the world Doug respects? 1374 01:28:06,448 --> 01:28:08,491 We were a good team once. 1375 01:28:10,369 --> 01:28:12,370 Walk me to my apartment. 1376 01:28:12,454 --> 01:28:14,830 I hate going to that place alone. 1377 01:28:18,835 --> 01:28:21,337 - I better check on Doug. - Please? 1378 01:28:22,673 --> 01:28:24,757 I want to talk about Doug. 1379 01:28:24,841 --> 01:28:26,592 About his problems. 1380 01:29:04,297 --> 01:29:07,633 Doug says you're incredible with women. 1381 01:29:07,718 --> 01:29:10,052 A real lady- killer. 1382 01:29:10,137 --> 01:29:11,971 Is that what he says? 1383 01:29:13,223 --> 01:29:15,182 What's your secret weapon? 1384 01:29:16,643 --> 01:29:20,229 What you see is what you get. 1385 01:29:39,082 --> 01:29:41,500 - Hold it. - What'd you do that for? 1386 01:29:42,419 --> 01:29:43,753 (SIGHING) 1387 01:29:46,590 --> 01:29:49,967 I can't make it with my best friend's old lady. 1388 01:29:51,887 --> 01:29:54,138 Am I supposed to live with the same man, 1389 01:29:54,222 --> 01:29:56,557 day in and day out, forever, 1390 01:29:56,641 --> 01:29:58,559 and have no one else in my life? 1391 01:29:58,643 --> 01:30:01,145 Yes. It's called marriage. 1392 01:30:01,229 --> 01:30:03,272 You wanted this as much as I did. 1393 01:30:03,356 --> 01:30:05,066 That's why you're up here. 1394 01:30:05,150 --> 01:30:06,692 But you can't do it now, can you? 1395 01:30:07,694 --> 01:30:08,819 You're scared. 1396 01:30:11,615 --> 01:30:13,532 I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. 1397 01:30:13,909 --> 01:30:15,534 - You're just scared! - (DOOR SLAMS SHUT) 1398 01:30:40,018 --> 01:30:41,393 BRIAN: Hey, Doug! 1399 01:30:52,697 --> 01:30:57,034 Help me! Somebody help me! 1400 01:30:59,329 --> 01:31:01,831 Somebody help me! 1401 01:31:09,089 --> 01:31:10,506 (INAUDIBLE) 1402 01:31:14,302 --> 01:31:16,971 POLICEMAN: Is there anything you can tell me about what happened? 1403 01:31:52,924 --> 01:31:55,926 PRIEST: "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want..." 1404 01:32:26,499 --> 01:32:27,750 (SIGHS) 1405 01:32:36,384 --> 01:32:39,303 DOUG: My dearest Brian, 1406 01:32:39,387 --> 01:32:41,680 a guy like me looks in the mirror. 1407 01:32:41,765 --> 01:32:44,725 He either grins or he starts to fade away, 1408 01:32:45,435 --> 01:32:48,604 and l haven't seen anything to grin about in a long time. 1409 01:32:50,315 --> 01:32:56,028 This may not be the most graceful exit, but l know when the bottle's empty, 1410 01:32:56,112 --> 01:32:59,031 that the only thing l'm really gonna miss 1411 01:32:59,115 --> 01:33:01,533 is the conversations we had going. 1412 01:33:03,119 --> 01:33:07,122 At least l get the last word, even if I had to maiI it in. 1413 01:33:08,875 --> 01:33:13,295 CoughIin's Law: Bury the dead, they stink up the joint. 1414 01:33:13,880 --> 01:33:16,548 The rest of CoughIin's Laws, ignore. 1415 01:33:17,008 --> 01:33:19,301 The guy was always full of shit. 1416 01:33:19,970 --> 01:33:21,553 (DOUG CHUCKLING) 1417 01:33:23,014 --> 01:33:25,557 But l guess you knew that already. 1418 01:33:50,333 --> 01:33:52,960 - Mooney's apartment, Brian... - I know who you are. 1419 01:33:53,044 --> 01:33:55,254 I've been instructed not to let you in here. 1420 01:33:55,338 --> 01:33:57,172 - If you'll just call... - Leave now! 1421 01:33:58,008 --> 01:34:00,759 I just want to talk to her for a few minutes, 1422 01:34:00,844 --> 01:34:02,261 I don't want to cause any trouble. 1423 01:34:02,345 --> 01:34:05,431 - Send her a letter. Out! - Get your hands off me, man. 1424 01:34:05,515 --> 01:34:06,890 Out! 1425 01:34:10,395 --> 01:34:11,854 Hey! 1426 01:34:23,033 --> 01:34:25,826 - Where's Jordan? - She's in there. 1427 01:34:25,910 --> 01:34:27,411 But you can't go in there! 1428 01:34:27,495 --> 01:34:28,579 Open the door! 1429 01:34:28,663 --> 01:34:30,372 Jordan? 1430 01:34:30,957 --> 01:34:32,333 Jordan! 1431 01:34:32,417 --> 01:34:34,084 - I have to talk to you. - What's going on? 1432 01:34:34,169 --> 01:34:37,588 Please, there's so many things, I don't know where to begin. 1433 01:34:37,672 --> 01:34:38,714 Doug is dead. 1434 01:34:39,591 --> 01:34:40,632 What? 1435 01:34:40,717 --> 01:34:43,635 - He killed himself. - Brian! 1436 01:34:43,720 --> 01:34:46,555 He was my best friend, but he was too proud to let me help him. 1437 01:34:46,639 --> 01:34:49,683 He was too proud to show how he felt until it was too late. 1438 01:34:49,768 --> 01:34:51,518 I don't want to make that same mistake. 1439 01:34:54,230 --> 01:34:55,522 ...into the sitting room... 1440 01:34:55,607 --> 01:34:58,233 I thought I told you to keep that punk out of this house! 1441 01:34:58,318 --> 01:35:00,361 - RECEPTIONIST: He got by me. - Jordan, are you in there? 1442 01:35:00,695 --> 01:35:04,323 I have saved money. I've worked out a loan with my uncle for some more. 1443 01:35:04,407 --> 01:35:07,868 With hard work, I know I can turn it into something great. 1444 01:35:07,952 --> 01:35:11,789 Brian, I know you can, but it doesn't really matter. 1445 01:35:11,873 --> 01:35:12,915 Listen to me! 1446 01:35:12,999 --> 01:35:15,209 Get me the key! 1447 01:35:15,710 --> 01:35:17,294 I love you! I want to marry you. 1448 01:35:17,837 --> 01:35:20,255 I've loved you from the first moment I saw you, Jordan. 1449 01:35:20,632 --> 01:35:23,384 Please, come with me. 1450 01:35:24,427 --> 01:35:27,179 Flanagan, get the hell out of my house! 1451 01:35:27,263 --> 01:35:29,723 Jordan, wake up! Don't you see why he's come back here? 1452 01:35:29,808 --> 01:35:32,893 - One reason: for the money. - I don't want a thing from you! 1453 01:35:32,977 --> 01:35:35,687 You're not going to get one penny. He's a loser! 1454 01:35:35,772 --> 01:35:37,981 I'm not a loser. Please, Jordan, come with me. 1455 01:35:38,066 --> 01:35:40,859 - Get him out of here. - Stay out of this. 1456 01:35:40,944 --> 01:35:43,362 - Please. - RICHARD: Throw this bum out of here! 1457 01:35:43,988 --> 01:35:45,072 Hold it! 1458 01:35:45,532 --> 01:35:46,949 Jordan, don't go! 1459 01:35:47,033 --> 01:35:49,952 If you walk out of this house, don't bother coming back. 1460 01:35:50,120 --> 01:35:53,122 - I love him, and I'm going! - You're not going anywhere! 1461 01:35:53,206 --> 01:35:55,290 Jordan! Stop her! 1462 01:35:55,917 --> 01:35:57,251 - Get off of me! - Don't fucking handle her, 1463 01:35:57,335 --> 01:35:58,710 she's pregnant! 1464 01:36:00,505 --> 01:36:02,047 You asshole! 1465 01:36:17,856 --> 01:36:20,023 It didn't have to be this way, you know. 1466 01:36:31,369 --> 01:36:32,619 You're on your own. 1467 01:36:33,163 --> 01:36:35,622 It's the only way I want it. 1468 01:36:42,255 --> 01:36:45,549 A toast! To the bride, and to my nephew! 1469 01:36:45,633 --> 01:36:48,427 - All the happiness! - ALL: SaIute! 1470 01:36:50,346 --> 01:36:51,763 UNCLE PAT: There you go! 1471 01:36:51,848 --> 01:36:54,099 (SINGING) I've been Iied to 1472 01:36:54,184 --> 01:36:58,020 When wiII I be Ioved? 1473 01:36:58,104 --> 01:36:59,271 Right now, baby! 1474 01:36:59,355 --> 01:37:00,939 JORDAN: Oh, yeah! 1475 01:37:02,817 --> 01:37:09,781 I've been turned down l've been pushed 'round 1476 01:37:10,533 --> 01:37:15,704 When wiII I be Ioved? 1477 01:37:20,376 --> 01:37:22,711 You realize we're both completely insane. 1478 01:37:22,795 --> 01:37:24,213 - Yes. - (BOTH LAUGHING) 1479 01:37:24,881 --> 01:37:27,341 You'll probably want to divorce me in three weeks. 1480 01:37:27,425 --> 01:37:30,385 Probably. No, you'll want to divorce me. 1481 01:37:30,470 --> 01:37:33,889 - I'll be all fat and ugly. - Just as long as you don't get too fat. 1482 01:37:34,682 --> 01:37:38,852 I am going to be very fat, and you are going to love it! 1483 01:37:51,241 --> 01:37:52,991 MAN 1: Brian, give us a poem. 1484 01:37:53,076 --> 01:37:54,952 MAN 2: Yeah! Poem! 1485 01:37:55,036 --> 01:37:56,745 - Poem? - MAN 1: Do one, Bri! 1486 01:37:56,829 --> 01:37:58,956 - Poem? - WOMAN: Poem! Yeah! 1487 01:38:01,167 --> 01:38:03,001 - Poem? - ALL: Poem! 1488 01:38:03,086 --> 01:38:04,670 We want a poem! 1489 01:38:04,754 --> 01:38:06,213 All right. Poem! 1490 01:38:06,297 --> 01:38:09,258 - Poem! - MAN: All right, Brian! 1491 01:38:09,759 --> 01:38:11,552 (CROWD WHOOPING) 1492 01:38:17,016 --> 01:38:19,226 Okay, a poem. 1493 01:38:21,020 --> 01:38:23,021 This poem is entitled 1494 01:38:24,399 --> 01:38:27,150 Flanagan's Advice to His Unborn ChiId. 1495 01:38:27,819 --> 01:38:29,570 ALL: Aw! 1496 01:38:32,115 --> 01:38:36,243 If Jordan gives birth to a fine Irish son 1497 01:38:36,327 --> 01:38:39,371 There'll be Cocktails & Dreams for him one day to run 1498 01:38:40,582 --> 01:38:43,750 A business which shall yield a financial windfall 1499 01:38:43,835 --> 01:38:45,669 - It better! - (ALL LAUGHING) 1500 01:38:45,753 --> 01:38:46,920 Yes. 1501 01:38:47,755 --> 01:38:50,591 To be franchised in every suburban shopping mall 1502 01:38:50,675 --> 01:38:53,302 A dynasty! You're founding a dynasty! 1503 01:38:54,178 --> 01:38:55,679 Now... 1504 01:38:56,973 --> 01:39:00,642 If a daughter arrives to bless our clan 1505 01:39:00,727 --> 01:39:01,893 ALL: Aw! 1506 01:39:01,978 --> 01:39:04,563 I guess the shit will certainly hit the fan 1507 01:39:04,647 --> 01:39:06,148 (ALL LAUGHING) 1508 01:39:07,358 --> 01:39:10,944 But this I shall promise to thee 1509 01:39:11,029 --> 01:39:13,739 I'll never let her marry a guy like me 1510 01:39:14,866 --> 01:39:21,496 Still, if our child is the naughtiest of girls or the wildest of men 1511 01:39:21,581 --> 01:39:24,583 I swear, I'll be the best dad I can 1512 01:39:24,667 --> 01:39:28,670 And never ever get spooked again 1513 01:39:33,343 --> 01:39:35,260 I bet I can still spook you. 1514 01:39:35,345 --> 01:39:36,845 No way. 1515 01:39:37,430 --> 01:39:38,847 (WHISPERING) 1516 01:39:43,269 --> 01:39:48,106 Twins? 1517 01:39:48,358 --> 01:39:49,358 Twins! 1518 01:39:49,442 --> 01:39:51,693 - Yeah! - All right! 1519 01:39:51,986 --> 01:39:54,613 - Drinks are on the house! - No! 1520 01:39:54,697 --> 01:39:56,990 - Bar is open! - (ALL CHEERING) 1521 01:39:57,950 --> 01:40:00,077 (UPBEAT REGGAE SONG PLAYING) 1522 01:41:12,066 --> 01:41:13,817 (POP SONG PLAYING) 117892

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