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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:28,000 Ripped By mstoll 2 00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:07,033 - Hello? - Hello, sweetheart. 3 00:01:07,160 --> 00:01:08,275 Oh, Jamie. Hello. 4 00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:10,356 - I was going to phone you, but... - But you slept in. 5 00:01:10,480 --> 00:01:12,198 Yes, what I was going to ask you was... 6 00:01:12,320 --> 00:01:14,311 - Will I open the shop? - Yes, please, because... 7 00:01:14,440 --> 00:01:15,873 It's the last day of your week together 8 00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:17,069 and you'd quite like the day off? 9 00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:19,077 Oh, Jamie, how do you know all these things? 10 00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:20,428 Oh, it's in the voice, sweetheart. 11 00:01:20,560 --> 00:01:22,118 It's always truthful, the voice. 12 00:01:22,240 --> 00:01:24,310 No matter how much of a liar the rest of you is. 13 00:01:25,280 --> 00:01:27,430 Anyway. I'm already in the shop. 14 00:01:27,560 --> 00:01:30,233 - But it's only eight o'clock. - I've been here all night. 15 00:01:32,040 --> 00:01:34,270 You've quarrelled with Robert again, haven't you? 16 00:01:35,040 --> 00:01:38,510 He went on and on all through dinner last night about his health. 17 00:01:39,280 --> 00:01:42,955 First, we had his nerve rash, then his hay fever, then his rheumatism. 18 00:01:43,080 --> 00:01:45,799 For pudding, we had his eyes, his back and his knees. 19 00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:49,276 I thought, if I hang on long enough, his throat might pack up. But no. 20 00:01:50,520 --> 00:01:54,035 During coffee, he discovered a pain in erogenous zone. 21 00:01:55,040 --> 00:01:58,874 So I left before he collapsed and died over the cheese board. 22 00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:00,877 Oh, Jamie, I'm sorry. Are you alright? 23 00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:02,433 I'm fine, sweetheart. I'm fine. 24 00:02:02,560 --> 00:02:05,836 I slept with the flowers. At least they don't snore. 25 00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:07,552 But I think I might have been pollinated. 26 00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:09,635 How's thingamajig? 27 00:02:09,760 --> 00:02:12,558 Oh, he's fine. He's upstairs trying to sing in the shower. 28 00:02:12,680 --> 00:02:16,036 Now I've got the day off, we'll drive off after breakfast. 29 00:02:16,160 --> 00:02:17,752 Oh, Jamie, it is wonderful. 30 00:02:17,880 --> 00:02:19,871 Oh, make the most of it, sweetheart. Come back soon. 31 00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:21,718 - Yes, all right. See you. Bye. - Bye. 32 00:02:23,040 --> 00:02:24,393 You can't sing, my darling. 33 00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:27,637 You might be good at some things, but you just can't sing. 34 00:02:27,760 --> 00:02:29,671 See if you're any better at laying the table. 35 00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:31,555 Oh. 36 00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:35,636 I don't think I feel like any breakfast. 37 00:02:35,760 --> 00:02:37,671 Oh. Why? 38 00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:40,439 I don't know. I think I overdid that gooey stuff with the... 39 00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:44,078 ...thingamajig sauce and the chocolate, um, whatnot on it. 40 00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:46,475 Oh, well, just have some coffee then. 41 00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:48,670 - Right. - Jamie's minding the shop. 42 00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:50,435 So where are we going today? 43 00:02:50,560 --> 00:02:52,516 - Anywhere you like. - Let's just get in the car and go. 44 00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:54,870 Right. I've got to be back at three. 45 00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:57,309 Yeah, I know. Well, we've still got plenty of time. 46 00:02:57,440 --> 00:02:58,998 Helen's plane lands at 4:30. 47 00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:00,948 I know. 48 00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:03,548 In fact, two would be better. 49 00:03:03,680 --> 00:03:05,636 Alright. Two. 50 00:03:05,760 --> 00:03:09,309 Well, that gives us still six hours. 51 00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:11,112 Well, it takes an hour to get to the airport. 52 00:03:11,240 --> 00:03:12,673 I know. 53 00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:15,439 I haven't been near the house, it's just as Helen left it. 54 00:03:15,560 --> 00:03:16,879 It's obvious I haven't been there. 55 00:03:17,920 --> 00:03:19,399 I'll have to call in and, uh, 56 00:03:20,320 --> 00:03:22,038 - untidy it a bit. - Yes. 57 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:23,639 And I've got to collect the cat. 58 00:03:24,280 --> 00:03:25,235 Yes. 59 00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:28,359 We've had a wonderful week, haven't we? 60 00:03:28,480 --> 00:03:29,435 Yes. 61 00:03:29,560 --> 00:03:31,437 - No worries. - No, no worries. 62 00:03:31,560 --> 00:03:34,757 Oh, it's been heaven, seeing you every evening. 63 00:03:34,880 --> 00:03:36,996 Racing home to get my omelets right. 64 00:03:37,120 --> 00:03:38,872 Knowing that I'm going to hear your key in the door, 65 00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:41,468 knowing you're going to be there at breakfast time, 66 00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:43,113 phoning you at the shop, 67 00:03:43,240 --> 00:03:45,310 you phoning me at the office. Oh, it's... 68 00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:47,388 it's been. 69 00:03:48,120 --> 00:03:49,951 Oh, it's, it's, if we were... 70 00:03:51,920 --> 00:03:52,875 Nothing. 71 00:03:53,840 --> 00:03:54,875 So it's been nothing? 72 00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:56,274 - Silly. - Something? 73 00:03:56,400 --> 00:03:58,470 I told you, I told you all the things it's been. 74 00:03:58,600 --> 00:04:00,352 But you didn't tell me the last bit. 75 00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:02,357 - Why are you looking at my watch? - Ah! 76 00:04:02,480 --> 00:04:04,198 I left mine upstairs. 77 00:04:04,320 --> 00:04:05,958 - It's eight o'clock. - I know that now. 78 00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:07,559 Why do you want to know what time it is? 79 00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:08,874 It's eight o'clock in the morning. 80 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:10,558 Why? Is there a rule about that? 81 00:04:10,680 --> 00:04:13,194 You didn't look at it yesterday morning or the morning before. 82 00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:15,880 - How did you know I didn't? - Well, I just do. 83 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:18,958 When you look at your watch, bells ring in my head. 84 00:04:19,080 --> 00:04:22,311 A siren goes off in my knees. A whistle blows in my stomach. 85 00:04:22,440 --> 00:04:25,273 My ears clang. My brain gongs. 86 00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:27,470 There isn't a single little bit of me that doesn't know 87 00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:29,079 when you're looking at your watch. 88 00:04:32,320 --> 00:04:35,153 Hey. Come on. 89 00:04:37,920 --> 00:04:39,876 It's because she's coming back, isn't it? 90 00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:41,956 Everything's got to change now, hasn't it? 91 00:04:43,160 --> 00:04:46,550 His wife is coming back from Paris, get back into your little box, Max. 92 00:04:49,160 --> 00:04:50,957 You know it isn't like that. 93 00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:57,433 Being with you this past week has been the happiest time we've had together. 94 00:04:57,560 --> 00:04:59,118 I want it to go on and on, my darling. 95 00:04:59,240 --> 00:05:01,117 - But it can't, you know that. - Why? 96 00:05:01,240 --> 00:05:03,196 Because she, as you insist on calling her, 97 00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:04,673 does exist, I can't hurt her. 98 00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:05,755 You're hurting me. 99 00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:07,199 But we knew we were going to hurt each other. 100 00:05:07,320 --> 00:05:08,514 We planned it, for God's sake. 101 00:05:08,640 --> 00:05:10,870 Oh, so I'm never going to be anything but your mistress? 102 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:12,274 We don't know that, do we? 103 00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:15,312 I'm never going to spend Christmas, Easter, birthdays with you. 104 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:16,998 I'm never going to go on holiday with you? 105 00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:18,519 I'm never going to go to a party with you. 106 00:05:18,640 --> 00:05:20,232 I'm never going to do anything. 107 00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:23,397 I'm just going to be eat, bed, and run, is that it? 108 00:05:23,520 --> 00:05:24,509 Okay. 109 00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:27,274 Okay. 110 00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:28,753 Tell me what you want me to do. 111 00:05:29,440 --> 00:05:30,395 Go on, tell me. 112 00:05:30,520 --> 00:05:32,875 - You know what I want. - Tell me. 113 00:05:33,840 --> 00:05:36,115 I want every week to be like this week. 114 00:05:36,240 --> 00:05:37,559 Right. Fine. Where do we begin? 115 00:05:38,400 --> 00:05:40,630 - With Helen, I suppose. - Fine. Go on. 116 00:05:40,760 --> 00:05:42,239 Well, you, you, 117 00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:44,433 you, uh, 118 00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:45,595 you explain to her. 119 00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:48,359 I see. By the way, I've got a lover and when I work late at the office, 120 00:05:48,480 --> 00:05:50,118 I don't work late at the office, I go to her. 121 00:05:50,240 --> 00:05:51,832 Yeah. Yeah. Okay, then what? 122 00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:53,075 Then you leave her. 123 00:05:54,400 --> 00:05:57,312 Well, somebody has to suffer, why is it always me? 124 00:05:57,440 --> 00:05:58,668 - And then comes you. - Yes. 125 00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:00,916 I didn't realise it was as easy as that. 126 00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:02,917 Well, I'll call the airport now and leave a message 127 00:06:03,040 --> 00:06:04,837 to say that I won't be there. Might as well plunge in. 128 00:06:05,560 --> 00:06:07,710 - You can't do that. - Why? 129 00:06:07,840 --> 00:06:10,991 Well, because... it's unkind. 130 00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:13,953 Oh, I see, it's unkind not to meet her. But leaving her is alright? 131 00:06:14,080 --> 00:06:16,469 You know, you are making it deliberately impossible! 132 00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:19,672 I am not making it impossible. It is impossible. Don't you see? 133 00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:27,469 I think you'd better go. 134 00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:30,433 You'd better go back, collect the cat, 135 00:06:30,560 --> 00:06:32,516 sort yourself out, take your time. 136 00:06:32,640 --> 00:06:34,198 And I'll see you next time round. 137 00:06:34,320 --> 00:06:36,470 Max, I love you. 138 00:06:37,280 --> 00:06:40,590 - I want babies, Luke. - Of course, darling, of course. 139 00:06:40,720 --> 00:06:42,438 I'm going to be too old to have them soon. 140 00:06:42,560 --> 00:06:44,551 - No, you won't. - And you'll be too old for anything. 141 00:06:44,680 --> 00:06:45,669 Silly. 142 00:06:46,760 --> 00:06:49,399 We're going to limp up the aisle with our bifocals. 143 00:06:49,520 --> 00:06:51,750 And our dentures. And our hormone implants. 144 00:06:51,880 --> 00:06:53,552 What are you talking about? 145 00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:55,636 I didn't mean to love you like this. 146 00:06:55,760 --> 00:06:58,354 I know. I know. Mwah! 147 00:06:58,480 --> 00:07:00,755 That's what they all say. 148 00:07:02,240 --> 00:07:03,355 Oh! 149 00:07:03,480 --> 00:07:05,596 - What's the matter? - I can't move. 150 00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:08,188 - Luke, are you serious? Luke? - Oh! 151 00:07:08,320 --> 00:07:09,355 What is it? 152 00:07:35,560 --> 00:07:37,198 Going to Mars, are we? 153 00:07:37,320 --> 00:07:39,709 I'm taking him to the hospital. He's very ill. 154 00:07:51,840 --> 00:07:53,956 Why have you got him all parcelled up like that? 155 00:07:54,080 --> 00:07:58,198 He's in pain. He can't straighten up. Please, officer, he's very sick. 156 00:07:58,320 --> 00:08:01,198 All right. Off you go then. But take it easy. 157 00:08:01,320 --> 00:08:02,275 If you brake suddenly, 158 00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:04,675 he'll go through that windscreen like an air pellet. 159 00:08:23,200 --> 00:08:25,316 Cottage Hospital, sorry to keep you waiting. 160 00:08:25,440 --> 00:08:28,273 Could I have ward seven, please? 161 00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:31,796 - Ward seven? - Yes. 162 00:08:31,920 --> 00:08:34,992 Could you please tell me how Mr Mansel is? 163 00:08:35,120 --> 00:08:38,590 He's just been admitted, uh, for a, appendicitis. 164 00:08:38,720 --> 00:08:39,948 Who's enquiring, please? 165 00:08:40,680 --> 00:08:44,389 Well, um, the thing is, um... a friend. 166 00:08:44,520 --> 00:08:45,589 He's down in theatre. 167 00:08:45,720 --> 00:08:47,870 Perhaps if you rang back in say half an hour? 168 00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:49,877 Yes, alright. I will. Thank you so much. 169 00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:56,274 'I haven't been near the house, it's just as Helen left it. 170 00:08:56,400 --> 00:08:57,833 It's obvious I haven't been there.' 171 00:09:13,800 --> 00:09:16,189 Well, well, it's lift-off Lil again. 172 00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:19,555 You're just going to find this very hard to believe. 173 00:09:19,680 --> 00:09:20,999 I am, yes. 174 00:09:21,120 --> 00:09:23,953 I'm taking his clothes, the man who was ill, 175 00:09:24,080 --> 00:09:25,957 I'm taking his clothes back to his house. 176 00:09:26,080 --> 00:09:27,035 Yes. 177 00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:31,279 Well, he was in a dressing gown, you might have noticed? 178 00:09:31,400 --> 00:09:32,674 I might, yes. 179 00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:36,349 He's, he's just a friend. He was just visiting, um, staying, 180 00:09:36,480 --> 00:09:40,951 that is, um, it's not what you think. It's not sordid. 181 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:44,072 Not exactly Janet and John stuff though, is it? 182 00:09:44,200 --> 00:09:47,237 I'm sorry. Just book me or fine me, or whatever it is. 183 00:09:47,360 --> 00:09:49,635 I'm just in such a hurry. 184 00:09:49,760 --> 00:09:53,719 Will you be turbo-ing this way again? Or can we let the children out now? 185 00:09:53,840 --> 00:09:55,432 Oh, this is it, I promise. 186 00:09:57,080 --> 00:09:59,469 - Go on. - Oh, thank you. 187 00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:01,633 You're wonderful. 188 00:14:01,560 --> 00:14:03,869 Okay. 189 00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:05,797 Hm. 190 00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:34,276 Orange juice, orange juice... 191 00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:03,799 Spoon. 192 00:15:03,920 --> 00:15:07,151 Spoon. Spoon. Spoon. 193 00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:11,149 Spoon. 194 00:15:13,040 --> 00:15:14,075 Alright. 195 00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:41,629 Uh, uh, oh, help, help, I'm all alone! 196 00:15:41,760 --> 00:15:43,910 My wife's away. And I'm going to bait. Help, help! 197 00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:49,712 Oh. Oh. Oh. 198 00:16:03,080 --> 00:16:05,310 It was all so cozy, so... 199 00:16:05,440 --> 00:16:06,793 - Married. - Yes. 200 00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:08,273 Her nightie was on her bed. 201 00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:10,675 Her creams, her jars, her everything was everywhere. 202 00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:13,030 It was clean and tidy and shining. 203 00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:16,593 I felt like an intruder. 204 00:16:17,400 --> 00:16:18,435 Come on, sweetheart. 205 00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:21,313 She's going to spend a fortune. I can feel it in the water. 206 00:16:23,760 --> 00:16:26,911 Can I help you, darling? Or do you want to browse? 207 00:16:27,040 --> 00:16:28,758 How much is that plant young man? 208 00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:31,713 That one? 」6.33, madam. 209 00:16:31,840 --> 00:16:32,955 I'll have it. 210 00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:35,155 Thank you. 211 00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:40,469 - How often do I water it? - Oh, twice a week. 212 00:16:41,520 --> 00:16:45,035 - Does it like sun? - Sunlight, not actual sun. 213 00:16:45,160 --> 00:16:46,195 A window sill? 214 00:16:46,320 --> 00:16:48,390 Uh, yeah, providing it's not too drafty. 215 00:16:48,520 --> 00:16:50,317 With a radiator underneath. 216 00:16:50,440 --> 00:16:52,829 Oh, I'd keep it away from radiators, if I were you. 217 00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:55,793 Oh. Does it need anything else? 218 00:16:55,920 --> 00:16:58,718 Yes, spray it once a week, twice if you remember. 219 00:16:58,840 --> 00:17:00,956 Oh, yes. Um... 220 00:17:01,080 --> 00:17:03,640 And a little plant food. Once a fortnight. There. 221 00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:06,631 Can I have some flowers instead? 222 00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:12,909 'Love, Max and family.' 223 00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:16,429 ...Tomorrow, perhaps. 224 00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:18,710 I'll wait with baited breath, madam. Thank you. 225 00:17:19,680 --> 00:17:21,750 Jamie. For God's sake, 226 00:17:21,880 --> 00:17:23,518 what am I wrapping this for? He'll never get it. 227 00:17:23,640 --> 00:17:25,790 Oh, come on, sweetheart. 228 00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:27,990 I can't go to the hospital, in case she's there. 229 00:17:28,120 --> 00:17:30,588 I can't send him a flower in case she sees it. 230 00:17:30,720 --> 00:17:32,995 When I ring, they ask who I am, and I have to say I'm a friend. 231 00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:34,758 If he died, I'd be the last to know. 232 00:17:34,880 --> 00:17:37,394 Well, a mistress role's to do with life, sweetheart. 233 00:17:37,520 --> 00:17:39,397 When he's dead, he's his wife's problem. 234 00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:40,999 I feel jealous, Jamie. 235 00:17:41,120 --> 00:17:43,588 Ah, now, I know that feeling. 236 00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:45,995 Robert went off with a Spanish guy once. 237 00:17:46,120 --> 00:17:47,951 I felt like destroying everything. 238 00:17:48,080 --> 00:17:49,115 The Spanish Tourist office, 239 00:17:49,240 --> 00:17:51,800 the little waiter at Dino's, Mexico, Argentina, 240 00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:54,150 and anybody who ate garlic or had a balcony. 241 00:17:55,920 --> 00:17:57,558 Don't you think you ought to phone the hospital? 242 00:17:57,680 --> 00:17:58,908 Must be all of ten minutes. 243 00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:03,949 Uh... 244 00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:17,593 Good morning, Cottage Hospital. 245 00:18:17,720 --> 00:18:19,472 Oh, uh, uh, ward seven, please. 246 00:18:22,240 --> 00:18:23,275 Ward seven. 247 00:18:23,400 --> 00:18:25,960 Could you tell me how Mr Mansel is, please? 248 00:18:26,080 --> 00:18:27,513 Who's enquiring, please? 249 00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:30,029 A friend. 250 00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:33,194 I see. Well, since you're not family, 251 00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:35,276 I can't give you any details, but, uh, 252 00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:38,312 Mr Mansel's had his operation and he's quite comfortable. 253 00:18:38,440 --> 00:18:39,395 Oh, oh, good. I wonder if you could. 254 00:18:39,520 --> 00:18:40,999 Could you give him a message for me, please? 255 00:18:41,680 --> 00:18:42,954 I suppose that would be alright. 256 00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:45,548 Well, could you tell him, it's very important, 257 00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:47,113 that Max rang 258 00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:50,789 and there's nothing to worry about. I've untidied everything. 259 00:18:51,440 --> 00:18:52,555 Max rang. 260 00:18:53,760 --> 00:18:56,069 There's nothing to worry about. 261 00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:57,872 I've untidied everything. 262 00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:00,673 Yes. That's, that's right. Thank you very much. 263 00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:01,835 - Thank you. - Bye. 264 00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:21,755 Luke? 265 00:19:23,040 --> 00:19:24,314 Luke, darling, it's me. 266 00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:27,629 How are you feeling? 267 00:19:28,640 --> 00:19:29,914 Oh. 268 00:19:31,240 --> 00:19:32,195 Oh. 269 00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:34,353 Thank you for getting me here. 270 00:19:35,520 --> 00:19:36,999 I didn't get you here, darling. 271 00:19:37,120 --> 00:19:38,633 I've just come back from Paris. 272 00:19:39,360 --> 00:19:41,271 The hospital left your message at the airport. 273 00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:45,509 Oh, uh, 274 00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:48,514 sorry, I, I feel, uh... 275 00:19:48,640 --> 00:19:50,710 Yes, just rest, darling, just rest now. 276 00:19:52,240 --> 00:19:53,229 How did you get here? 277 00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:54,554 Hello. 278 00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:56,432 Well now, Mr Mansel, how are you? 279 00:19:56,560 --> 00:19:58,516 I'm fine. I'm just fine. 280 00:19:58,640 --> 00:20:01,154 I'm, uh, just going to pop this into your mouth, okay? 281 00:20:03,280 --> 00:20:06,078 Could I take my husband's clothes with me when I go? 282 00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:09,192 He didn't have any clothes, he came in his bathrobe. 283 00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:11,035 Oh. 284 00:20:11,880 --> 00:20:13,108 Well, I'll take his pyjamas then, 285 00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:15,037 if I may, and bring some clean ones back later. 286 00:20:16,640 --> 00:20:18,198 He didn't have any pyjamas on. 287 00:20:20,880 --> 00:20:21,869 Oh. 288 00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:29,072 Poor darling. It must have been awful for you. 289 00:20:29,200 --> 00:20:31,395 Of all the times for me to go away. 290 00:20:31,520 --> 00:20:33,033 Mm. It's alright. It's alright. 291 00:20:34,560 --> 00:20:35,913 Did you call an ambulance? 292 00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:38,353 No. 293 00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:39,833 A taxi? 294 00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:41,188 No. 295 00:20:42,120 --> 00:20:43,155 A friend? 296 00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:47,275 No. 297 00:20:48,560 --> 00:20:50,039 You didn't walk here? 298 00:20:51,280 --> 00:20:53,874 No. I drove here. 299 00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:57,034 Drove? Darling, that was dangerous. 300 00:20:57,160 --> 00:20:58,275 I managed. 301 00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:01,390 You brave, clever man. 302 00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:04,913 Don't worry, darling, 303 00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:06,758 we'll get it right between us. 304 00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:09,915 You're tired. 305 00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:12,518 I think I'll go now, darling. 306 00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:13,629 Let you get some rest. 307 00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:17,033 I'll come back soon when I've unpacked 308 00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:18,593 and tidied the house a bit. 309 00:21:20,600 --> 00:21:22,989 Oh, the house. Oh, my God, the house! 310 00:21:23,120 --> 00:21:24,519 Darling, don't worry about that. 311 00:21:24,640 --> 00:21:26,392 It doesn't matter. I'll come back soon. 312 00:21:26,520 --> 00:21:30,035 It's all tidied. I did it just before. 313 00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:32,628 - I know. - I did the house. It's all tidy. 314 00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:34,079 Yes, all right, just rest now, darling. 315 00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:36,350 I left the house tidy. 316 00:21:36,480 --> 00:21:37,595 It's all tidy. 317 00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:47,071 I forgot to tell you, Mr Mansel, 318 00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:48,599 a Max rang, she said, 319 00:21:48,720 --> 00:21:51,678 nothing to worry about, she's untidied everything. 320 00:21:59,320 --> 00:22:00,514 Nurse, 321 00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:04,469 you think you could arrange for my sudden death? 322 00:22:18,080 --> 00:22:20,116 Did you have a nice week off, Jo? 323 00:22:23,640 --> 00:22:25,551 Your holiday, was it nice? 324 00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:28,953 - It no good. - Oh. Why? 325 00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:31,318 My husband, he rubbish. 326 00:22:33,280 --> 00:22:35,635 I thought things were getting better? 327 00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:39,116 Things no better. Things more bad. 328 00:22:39,240 --> 00:22:40,753 Oh, dear, I am sorry. 329 00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:44,357 He nice man, your man. 330 00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:47,235 Yes. 331 00:22:49,360 --> 00:22:51,794 Before I went away, people kept ringing up and saying, 332 00:22:51,920 --> 00:22:55,117 'I'd like to talk to Mr Mansel before he leaves for Australia.' 333 00:22:56,560 --> 00:22:58,152 He never was going to Australia. 334 00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:00,914 And at the airport, 335 00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:03,273 a woman rang. 336 00:23:03,400 --> 00:23:04,833 It's very good. 337 00:23:06,280 --> 00:23:08,714 While I was away, he used the red toothbrush. 338 00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:11,636 He never uses the red toothbrush. 339 00:23:11,760 --> 00:23:13,716 I gave it to him, but he said it was unlucky. 340 00:23:14,600 --> 00:23:15,715 And yet he used it. 341 00:23:16,360 --> 00:23:18,476 He nice teeth. Good. 342 00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:20,431 And he slept on the wrong side of the bed. 343 00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:21,913 The side he hates. 344 00:23:22,600 --> 00:23:25,114 My rubbish, he sleeps all over the bed. 345 00:23:26,400 --> 00:23:29,119 Soon I go, whoosh, like that. 346 00:23:30,440 --> 00:23:32,032 You mean leave him? 347 00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:34,799 Soon. I go whoosh, like that. 348 00:23:36,440 --> 00:23:37,555 How brave of you. 349 00:24:14,320 --> 00:24:15,389 Luke. 350 00:24:16,080 --> 00:24:17,069 Luke. 351 00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:19,835 Luke. 352 00:24:20,480 --> 00:24:22,436 Oh, Max. 353 00:24:22,560 --> 00:24:23,549 Oh. 354 00:24:24,200 --> 00:24:26,191 Is this alright? Are you expecting anyone? 355 00:24:26,320 --> 00:24:27,309 Oh, Max. 356 00:24:28,360 --> 00:24:30,078 - How are you? - I'm fine. I'm fine. 357 00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:32,109 Isn't this silly? 358 00:24:32,240 --> 00:24:34,435 - Yeah. - I brought you a daisy. 359 00:24:34,560 --> 00:24:36,278 - Right. - I got it from me, so I got it cheap. 360 00:24:37,600 --> 00:24:38,589 Anyway, I was going to send it, 361 00:24:38,720 --> 00:24:40,756 but it looks a bit obvious, doesn't it, a single daisy? 362 00:24:40,880 --> 00:24:42,199 I love you. 363 00:24:42,320 --> 00:24:44,754 I love you. I want to touch you. 364 00:24:45,320 --> 00:24:46,275 Soon. 365 00:24:46,400 --> 00:24:48,152 - A week. - A week? 366 00:24:48,280 --> 00:24:49,793 I nearly died. 367 00:24:49,920 --> 00:24:52,514 Oh, oh, I'm glad you didn't. 368 00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:53,834 Cause I'd only have followed you, you know. 369 00:24:53,960 --> 00:24:54,915 Oh, God. 370 00:24:55,040 --> 00:24:56,553 And then we were both dead, 371 00:24:56,680 --> 00:24:58,989 and you finally asked me to marry you, 372 00:24:59,120 --> 00:25:01,031 we could live in this great big, enormous house, 373 00:25:01,160 --> 00:25:03,435 you at one end, me at the other. And we'd meet in the middle secretly. 374 00:25:04,080 --> 00:25:05,832 We wouldn't actually be married then. 375 00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:06,915 Oh, yes, we'd be married. 376 00:25:07,040 --> 00:25:09,190 But we wouldn't spoil anything by admitting it. 377 00:25:09,320 --> 00:25:10,309 Hang on. Hang on. 378 00:25:10,440 --> 00:25:12,112 It sounds ecstatic, but I have a question. 379 00:25:12,240 --> 00:25:14,151 - Oh, what's that? - Would the bloody rabbit be there? 380 00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:16,350 Oh yes. And the cat. 381 00:25:16,480 --> 00:25:18,471 I'm only talking, you know, it's, it's just not... 382 00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:19,589 Alright. 383 00:25:22,720 --> 00:25:23,755 Alright, Mr Mansel? 384 00:25:23,880 --> 00:25:25,552 Yes, yes, I'm fine. 385 00:25:25,680 --> 00:25:26,999 Thought I heard voices. 386 00:25:27,120 --> 00:25:28,269 No, no, that was... 387 00:25:29,920 --> 00:25:32,070 - Shall I put that in water for you? - Yeah. 388 00:25:50,520 --> 00:25:52,988 Luke, darling. You look wonderful. 389 00:25:53,120 --> 00:25:54,075 So do you. 390 00:25:55,560 --> 00:25:56,754 Are you getting up? 391 00:25:56,880 --> 00:25:58,029 Yeah. 392 00:25:58,160 --> 00:26:00,116 They get me out of bed from time to time. 393 00:26:01,360 --> 00:26:03,112 You can leave the day after tomorrow, they tell me. 394 00:26:03,240 --> 00:26:05,390 Oh, home, can't wait. 395 00:26:10,400 --> 00:26:11,355 How was Paris? 396 00:26:13,880 --> 00:26:16,235 You're having an affair, aren't you? 397 00:26:18,320 --> 00:26:21,153 I know some people would say, 'Let him get better, Helen. 398 00:26:22,200 --> 00:26:25,237 Not now, Helen. Now is not the right time, Helen.' 399 00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:28,192 But it is the right time for me, Luke. 400 00:26:32,960 --> 00:26:35,713 You needn't worry. I'm not going to shout or cry. 401 00:26:37,040 --> 00:26:39,315 I'm not going to say, 'Why? How could you, you bastard? ' 402 00:26:41,920 --> 00:26:43,069 I'm going to help you. 403 00:26:43,880 --> 00:26:45,313 Help me? 404 00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:46,395 To go. 405 00:26:47,240 --> 00:26:48,229 Go? 406 00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:49,915 Yes. Go. 407 00:26:50,920 --> 00:26:51,875 Go where? 408 00:26:53,360 --> 00:26:54,588 Wherever you want to go. 409 00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:04,278 Aren't you going to explain to me why you think I'm having an affair? 410 00:27:06,240 --> 00:27:07,195 No. 411 00:27:08,520 --> 00:27:10,112 You've just made up your mind that I am? 412 00:27:10,880 --> 00:27:11,835 Yes. 413 00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:14,910 Do I have custody of the cat? Or you? 414 00:27:17,120 --> 00:27:18,792 It's not a time for joking, Luke. 415 00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:21,033 No jokes, please. 416 00:27:21,160 --> 00:27:24,357 Helen, I'd be glad to talk to you, but not now. I mean... 417 00:27:24,480 --> 00:27:26,277 I, wait till I get home, we'll talk then. 418 00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:27,355 She can have you. 419 00:27:28,280 --> 00:27:29,349 She can have all of you. 420 00:27:30,640 --> 00:27:32,835 The bits that are nice, the bits that are rotten. 421 00:27:33,760 --> 00:27:34,829 The bits that love. 422 00:27:35,840 --> 00:27:36,989 The bits that lie. 423 00:27:38,080 --> 00:27:39,354 She can have the whole lot. 424 00:27:40,560 --> 00:27:43,358 And when she's sitting at her dinner table proudly serving the meal 425 00:27:43,480 --> 00:27:45,232 she's taken her whole life to make, 426 00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:48,195 spoon feeding your mind with endless trivia, 427 00:27:48,320 --> 00:27:49,840 just to get a conversation out of you, 428 00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:53,917 she might realise that the actual affair was the best bit. 429 00:27:56,240 --> 00:28:00,074 Poor unarmed, unaware, unsuspecting cow. 430 00:28:01,240 --> 00:28:03,435 Hi, Mrs Mansel, you can have him back soon. 431 00:28:21,440 --> 00:28:22,589 - Hello? - Max. 432 00:28:22,720 --> 00:28:24,676 Oh, Luke, how are you? 433 00:28:24,800 --> 00:28:26,358 - Max, I've got to talk to you. - Listen, listen, 434 00:28:26,480 --> 00:28:28,038 listen, I've been thinking. 435 00:28:28,160 --> 00:28:29,434 Now, listen, you're married, 436 00:28:30,080 --> 00:28:33,595 you have a duty and I must accept the situation and I will, 437 00:28:33,720 --> 00:28:35,312 I will from now on. 438 00:28:35,440 --> 00:28:37,749 I mean, if we tried to change anything 439 00:28:37,880 --> 00:28:40,678 the magic would go. Imagine you and I living together. 440 00:28:40,800 --> 00:28:44,713 We're meant to be lovers. I think it's beautiful the way it is. 441 00:28:45,440 --> 00:28:47,670 Darling. Luke. 442 00:28:50,500 --> 00:28:58,500 Ripped By mstoll 32261

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