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1
00:00:49,508 --> 00:00:50,634
Got it.
2
00:00:50,676 --> 00:00:51,885
Good.
3
00:00:54,304 --> 00:00:57,224
So, that's the baby that's been
holding up the Allied drive.
4
00:00:57,265 --> 00:00:59,977
The Germans planted tons of them
to block our advance.
5
00:00:59,977 --> 00:01:02,604
I never saw a land mine
put together like that.
6
00:01:02,646 --> 00:01:05,524
They must have had their hands
full trying to disarm it, huh?
7
00:01:05,565 --> 00:01:07,359
Our tanks have slowed
down to a crawl.
8
00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:08,819
That makes these
quite a prize.
9
00:01:08,944 --> 00:01:10,153
They sure were.
10
00:01:10,195 --> 00:01:11,613
A company
of British commandos
11
00:01:11,655 --> 00:01:13,365
got pretty badly
mauled getting them.
12
00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:15,367
How are the repairs
to the tunnel coming?
13
00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:17,327
Melting snow is giving
us a little trouble.
14
00:01:17,327 --> 00:01:19,246
We had to start a new
tunnel in Barracks 5.
15
00:01:19,287 --> 00:01:21,123
It'll join the old
one past the cave-in.
16
00:01:21,164 --> 00:01:22,249
All right.
17
00:01:22,290 --> 00:01:23,500
Let's see
how it's coming.
18
00:01:33,343 --> 00:01:34,761
Getting rid of the dirt okay?
19
00:01:34,970 --> 00:01:36,096
No problem.
20
00:01:36,138 --> 00:01:37,431
How's it going?
21
00:01:37,472 --> 00:01:38,890
Almost to the old
tunnel now, sir.
22
00:01:38,974 --> 00:01:40,100
All right,
keep them at it.
23
00:01:40,142 --> 00:01:42,227
I promised London they'd
have the film by tomorrow.
24
00:01:42,269 --> 00:01:43,186
We'll make it, sir.
25
00:01:43,186 --> 00:01:44,771
Any of the Krauts
been sniffing around?
26
00:01:44,813 --> 00:01:46,648
They don't suspect a thing.
27
00:01:46,690 --> 00:01:49,109
If they find this tunnel,
I'll eat my hat.
28
00:01:49,151 --> 00:01:51,445
Eins, zwei, drei, vier.
29
00:01:51,486 --> 00:01:54,990
Eins, zwei, drei, vier,
eins, zwei, drei, vier.
30
00:02:03,373 --> 00:02:05,500
He caved in
the bleeding tunnel.
31
00:02:08,253 --> 00:02:09,880
Bon appétit.
32
00:02:34,112 --> 00:02:36,072
You won't believe this,
Herr Kommandant,
33
00:02:36,114 --> 00:02:37,949
but I was checking
the plumbing, Mm-hmm.
34
00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:39,409
Looking for a leaky pipe.
35
00:02:39,451 --> 00:02:40,827
Ja, ja...
did you find it?
36
00:02:40,869 --> 00:02:42,913
Not yet, but I'm going
to keep looking.
37
00:02:43,955 --> 00:02:45,081
The cooler!
38
00:02:45,123 --> 00:02:47,417
Schultz, have the
prisoners fill in the tunnel.
39
00:02:47,459 --> 00:02:48,919
Jawohl,
Herr Kommandant.
40
00:02:48,919 --> 00:02:50,086
And double the guard.
41
00:02:50,086 --> 00:02:51,755
If they see
anything suspicious,
42
00:02:51,755 --> 00:02:54,341
tell them to shoot first
and ask questions later.
43
00:02:54,382 --> 00:02:56,384
They shoot first,
ask questions later.
44
00:02:56,426 --> 00:02:58,595
You won't get many answers
that way, sir.
45
00:02:58,595 --> 00:03:00,263
Right,
Herr Kommandant.
46
00:03:00,305 --> 00:03:02,265
Schultz,
I gave you an order.
47
00:03:02,307 --> 00:03:03,642
Jawohl,
Herr Kommandant.
48
00:03:03,683 --> 00:03:04,976
Let's go!
49
00:03:06,728 --> 00:03:09,439
Hogan, Hogan, when
will you ever learn?
50
00:03:09,439 --> 00:03:11,733
These foolish
escape attempts.
51
00:03:11,775 --> 00:03:13,902
It gives the men
something to do.
52
00:03:13,944 --> 00:03:16,446
In all the time you've been
here, how many men have escaped?
53
00:03:16,446 --> 00:03:18,240
None.
Exactly.
54
00:03:18,281 --> 00:03:20,951
Face it, Hogan... for you
and your men this war is over.
55
00:03:20,992 --> 00:03:21,952
That is good news.
56
00:03:21,993 --> 00:03:23,620
We'll pack and leave
in the morning.
57
00:03:24,871 --> 00:03:26,790
Dismissed.
58
00:03:29,834 --> 00:03:31,753
What do we do
after we pack, sir?
59
00:03:31,795 --> 00:03:33,421
We got to get
that film out.
60
00:03:33,463 --> 00:03:34,631
How?
61
00:03:34,631 --> 00:03:35,632
The tunnel's gone;
62
00:03:35,674 --> 00:03:36,633
they doubled
the guard.
63
00:03:36,675 --> 00:03:37,676
We can't get out.
64
00:03:37,717 --> 00:03:39,678
I didn't say anything
about us getting out.
65
00:03:39,719 --> 00:03:41,137
I said we'd get
the film out.
66
00:03:41,137 --> 00:03:42,889
Why don't we ask
one of the Germans
67
00:03:42,931 --> 00:03:44,849
to drop it off when
he goes into town?
68
00:03:44,891 --> 00:03:47,811
I think Klink would probably be
the best choice, don't you?
69
00:03:47,811 --> 00:03:50,438
Ask Klink to deliver
microfilm to one of our agents?
70
00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:53,191
He's the one man who can
leave camp whenever he wants.
71
00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:54,651
Who's going to
twist his arm?
72
00:03:54,651 --> 00:03:56,403
Let's keep violence
out of this.
73
00:03:56,444 --> 00:03:57,445
Take my word for it:
74
00:03:57,487 --> 00:04:00,115
The colonel will be delighted
to be our messenger.
75
00:04:07,163 --> 00:04:08,498
It's all set,
Colonel.
76
00:04:08,540 --> 00:04:10,000
The underground
says they'll have
77
00:04:10,041 --> 00:04:11,584
a woman agent
in town by tonight.
78
00:04:11,626 --> 00:04:13,503
You told them we wanted
somebody special.
79
00:04:13,503 --> 00:04:14,671
They guaranteed a knockout.
80
00:04:14,671 --> 00:04:15,964
Good.
81
00:04:16,006 --> 00:04:17,674
Carter,
bring Schultz in here.
82
00:04:17,674 --> 00:04:18,967
Okay.
83
00:04:19,009 --> 00:04:20,593
One fat sergeant coming up.
84
00:04:20,635 --> 00:04:22,929
Schultz? I thought
Klink was our target.
85
00:04:22,971 --> 00:04:26,266
He is, but he might get
suspicious if it comes from me.
86
00:04:26,307 --> 00:04:28,518
So we hook Schultz...
Back up my story.
87
00:04:28,518 --> 00:04:29,936
Got it.
88
00:04:29,978 --> 00:04:32,480
All right, Operation Merry
Widow is about to begin.
89
00:04:34,232 --> 00:04:36,026
You wanted to see me, Colonel?
90
00:04:36,026 --> 00:04:37,527
Yeah, Schultz,
we're going to have
91
00:04:37,527 --> 00:04:38,653
a little
card game tonight
92
00:04:38,695 --> 00:04:40,530
and wanted to know
if we can count you in.
93
00:04:40,572 --> 00:04:41,698
I think I have no time.
94
00:04:41,740 --> 00:04:42,866
Other plans, Schultzy?
95
00:04:42,907 --> 00:04:44,868
Yeah, like maybe
a little rendezvous?
96
00:04:44,868 --> 00:04:45,869
Come clean,
Schultz,
97
00:04:45,869 --> 00:04:47,203
we've heard
all about it.
98
00:04:47,245 --> 00:04:50,707
You dog...
You sly, sly dog.
99
00:04:50,749 --> 00:04:52,709
You're a lucky man,
Schultz.
100
00:04:52,709 --> 00:04:54,210
I don't understand.
101
00:04:54,210 --> 00:04:56,671
The Countess Marlene,
the Merry Widow.
102
00:04:56,713 --> 00:04:58,423
She picked you,
didn't she?
103
00:04:58,465 --> 00:05:00,383
Countess Marlene?
Merry Widow?
104
00:05:00,383 --> 00:05:02,052
He hasn't heard of her.
105
00:05:02,052 --> 00:05:04,929
Only the most famous
temptress in all of Europe.
106
00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:06,431
Come on, Schultz,
don't be cute.
107
00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:07,807
Sure... isn't a man alive
108
00:05:07,849 --> 00:05:09,267
hasn't heard of
the Merry Widow.
109
00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:11,186
Especially after
that thing with Hitler.
110
00:05:11,227 --> 00:05:12,187
The Führer?
111
00:05:13,229 --> 00:05:14,564
No!
112
00:05:14,564 --> 00:05:15,857
It didn't do him
any good.
113
00:05:15,899 --> 00:05:18,193
They say she only
loves fat men.
114
00:05:18,234 --> 00:05:20,945
That's why
she picked Göring.
115
00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:23,323
Men don't pick her;
she picks them.
116
00:05:23,364 --> 00:05:25,116
According to
the old rumor mill,
117
00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:26,785
that's why
she came to town.
118
00:05:26,826 --> 00:05:29,245
She's crackers about
someone in this camp.
119
00:05:29,287 --> 00:05:31,498
Yeah, we figured
it was you.
120
00:05:31,539 --> 00:05:33,917
All the world
loves a fat man.
121
00:05:33,917 --> 00:05:37,545
Maybe she's heard about your
reputation with the barmaids.
122
00:05:37,587 --> 00:05:39,380
It gets around, huh?
123
00:05:39,422 --> 00:05:40,882
Uh... did you
get the flowers?
124
00:05:40,924 --> 00:05:42,175
Flowers?
125
00:05:42,217 --> 00:05:43,259
That's her style.
126
00:05:43,259 --> 00:05:45,261
She sends flowers,
then the phone call.
127
00:05:45,303 --> 00:05:46,930
"I'm, uh...
I'm waiting, lover."
128
00:05:46,930 --> 00:05:49,265
And then, paradise.
129
00:05:49,265 --> 00:05:52,644
Paradise... paradise.
130
00:05:59,108 --> 00:06:02,111
You haven't much time
to get in shape, Schultz.
131
00:06:02,153 --> 00:06:04,197
Oh, I guess
she couldn't wait.
132
00:06:04,239 --> 00:06:05,865
I better pick them up.
133
00:06:05,907 --> 00:06:10,119
♪ Lover, when
you're near me... ♪
134
00:06:13,456 --> 00:06:15,375
Over here, over here...
I'm Sergeant Schultz.
135
00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:16,626
I'll take them.
136
00:06:16,668 --> 00:06:19,462
Nein, these flowers
are for Colonel Klink.
137
00:06:19,462 --> 00:06:20,964
I am Colonel Klink.
138
00:06:20,964 --> 00:06:22,298
Thank you, sir.
139
00:06:25,593 --> 00:06:30,890
"From one who is tired
of worshipping from afar.
140
00:06:30,932 --> 00:06:34,185
Soon...
Countess Marlene."
141
00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:36,187
Huh, must be
some foolish...
142
00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:38,231
You, you... you can't.
143
00:06:38,273 --> 00:06:40,441
It's the Merry Widow.
144
00:06:40,483 --> 00:06:41,818
No!
145
00:06:41,859 --> 00:06:43,653
You're a lucky man,
Commandant.
146
00:06:43,695 --> 00:06:45,280
I don't know any merry widow.
147
00:06:45,321 --> 00:06:46,823
Countess Marlene.
148
00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:50,660
Only the number-one
temptress in all of Europe.
149
00:06:50,660 --> 00:06:54,664
She has seen more action
than the First Division.
150
00:06:54,706 --> 00:06:57,667
But I don't remember any...
151
00:06:57,667 --> 00:07:00,336
Countess Marlene?
152
00:07:00,378 --> 00:07:02,630
There was something
about her and Hitler?
153
00:07:02,672 --> 00:07:04,465
Hitler wanted
to give up evil.
154
00:07:04,507 --> 00:07:06,009
He even offered
to shave off...
155
00:07:07,719 --> 00:07:09,178
Hitler?
156
00:07:09,178 --> 00:07:10,430
No.
157
00:07:10,471 --> 00:07:13,182
Yeah... but it didn't help.
158
00:07:13,224 --> 00:07:15,184
He wasn't her type.
159
00:07:15,226 --> 00:07:18,688
She didn't like
his funny haircut.
160
00:07:18,730 --> 00:07:20,898
She turned down
the Führer?
161
00:07:20,940 --> 00:07:22,233
Ja...
162
00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:26,195
Men do not pick her;
she picks them.
163
00:07:26,195 --> 00:07:27,530
And you're it.
164
00:07:27,530 --> 00:07:31,200
That wild, impetuous girl
sending me flowers.
165
00:07:31,242 --> 00:07:33,578
You're going
to get an invitation,
166
00:07:33,619 --> 00:07:38,499
then the telephone will ring,
and then...
167
00:07:38,541 --> 00:07:42,420
"I am waiting, lover."
168
00:07:44,881 --> 00:07:47,550
I better take these inside
and put them in water.
169
00:07:47,592 --> 00:07:50,011
Well, tough luck,
Schultz.
170
00:07:50,053 --> 00:07:51,554
I don't understand.
171
00:07:51,596 --> 00:07:53,723
Why him when she
could have me?
172
00:07:53,723 --> 00:07:55,892
Probably a masochist.
173
00:08:03,066 --> 00:08:05,526
I guess the old Klink
magic has struck again.
174
00:08:05,568 --> 00:08:06,986
I'm used to it, Hogan.
175
00:08:07,028 --> 00:08:08,905
Women are always
sending me things.
176
00:08:08,905 --> 00:08:10,531
Flowers from
the Merry Widow.
177
00:08:10,573 --> 00:08:11,908
That plant over there...
178
00:08:11,908 --> 00:08:13,743
Another gift
from an old admirer.
179
00:08:13,743 --> 00:08:15,286
Can one man
have so much?
180
00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:16,996
I can't fight it, Hogan.
181
00:08:17,038 --> 00:08:19,707
Women are always
putting me on a pedestal.
182
00:08:19,749 --> 00:08:21,626
I can see what
attracted her...
183
00:08:21,667 --> 00:08:23,503
Your good looks,
your bearing.
184
00:08:23,544 --> 00:08:24,712
Uh, just a minute, sir.
185
00:08:26,923 --> 00:08:28,466
You sleep in
this jacket, sir?
186
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:29,717
My jacket?
187
00:08:31,093 --> 00:08:32,762
Maybe I'd better
have it pressed.
188
00:08:32,762 --> 00:08:33,888
Uh, forget it, sir.
189
00:08:33,930 --> 00:08:35,264
I don't think
that'll help.
190
00:08:35,306 --> 00:08:36,808
It should really
be tailored.
191
00:08:36,849 --> 00:08:38,100
Here.
192
00:08:38,226 --> 00:08:39,435
Yeah, that's better.
193
00:08:39,477 --> 00:08:41,395
You've got to look
your best, sir.
194
00:08:41,437 --> 00:08:43,397
It's a pity LeBeau's
in the cooler.
195
00:08:43,439 --> 00:08:45,942
He's a fine tailor...
He could really help you.
196
00:08:45,942 --> 00:08:48,152
Oh, I'll have him
released, Hogan.
197
00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:50,279
He's learned
his lesson by now.
198
00:08:50,279 --> 00:08:52,907
Oh, I appreciate this
very much, Hogan.
199
00:08:52,949 --> 00:08:55,117
Forget it, sir,
forget it.
200
00:08:55,159 --> 00:08:57,745
One day you can do
something for me.
201
00:08:59,831 --> 00:09:01,123
Good job.
202
00:09:01,165 --> 00:09:03,084
Well, at least you're
giving me a trade
203
00:09:03,125 --> 00:09:04,210
for after the war.
204
00:09:04,252 --> 00:09:05,628
It's better
than the cooler.
205
00:09:05,628 --> 00:09:06,963
Now it just needs
pressing.
206
00:09:07,004 --> 00:09:08,297
Yeah.
207
00:09:08,339 --> 00:09:10,508
All she's got to do is
get the jacket off Klink,
208
00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:12,260
slip the film out
and take off.
209
00:09:12,301 --> 00:09:14,345
A plane is being arranged
to pick her up.
210
00:09:17,098 --> 00:09:18,099
The colonel's?
211
00:09:18,140 --> 00:09:19,267
Mm-hmm.
212
00:09:19,308 --> 00:09:20,977
Hmph!
I don't understand.
213
00:09:21,018 --> 00:09:23,145
I ask you...
Who would you pick?
214
00:09:23,145 --> 00:09:24,647
Don't fight it,
Schultz.
215
00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:25,856
Fortunes of war.
216
00:09:25,898 --> 00:09:28,276
How much taste
can this Merry Widow have
217
00:09:28,317 --> 00:09:29,944
if she wants the colonel?
218
00:09:29,986 --> 00:09:30,987
Schultz!
219
00:09:31,028 --> 00:09:33,322
Oh! Lots of taste,
Herr Kommandant.
220
00:09:33,364 --> 00:09:34,740
That's what she has.
221
00:09:34,782 --> 00:09:36,075
Is my jacket ready?
222
00:09:36,117 --> 00:09:37,660
Be just a few minutes,
Herr Kommandant.
223
00:09:37,660 --> 00:09:38,661
We'll bring it
over, sir.
224
00:09:38,661 --> 00:09:39,704
You better
hurry it up.
225
00:09:39,745 --> 00:09:41,122
She'll be calling
anytime now.
226
00:09:41,163 --> 00:09:43,541
A world of taste,
Herr Kommandant.
227
00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:47,044
She's a very tasteful lady,
and a very lucky one.
228
00:09:47,253 --> 00:09:49,255
Oh, shut up.
229
00:09:54,176 --> 00:09:55,803
She's got to go
out of her mind.
230
00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:56,971
Maybe you're right.
231
00:09:57,013 --> 00:09:59,765
Oh, Hogan, you should have
heard her on the phone.
232
00:09:59,807 --> 00:10:01,726
What a voice...
Oh, she's all woman.
233
00:10:01,767 --> 00:10:03,603
Shouldn't you
be leaving, sir?
234
00:10:03,728 --> 00:10:04,854
There's no rush.
235
00:10:04,895 --> 00:10:06,063
Make them wait.
236
00:10:06,105 --> 00:10:08,274
They become
all the more anxious.
237
00:10:08,316 --> 00:10:11,193
I keep forgetting I'm
talking to the master.
238
00:10:11,193 --> 00:10:14,530
You see, in love and war,
the method is the same:
239
00:10:14,530 --> 00:10:18,242
Keep the opponent off guard,
then go forth and conquer.
240
00:10:18,284 --> 00:10:20,453
I wish I had a pencil
to get this down, sir.
241
00:10:20,494 --> 00:10:22,204
You will give classes
after the war?
242
00:10:22,246 --> 00:10:23,539
Now, there's a thought.
243
00:10:23,539 --> 00:10:24,540
If everything
we hear
244
00:10:24,582 --> 00:10:26,208
about the countess
is true, sir,
245
00:10:26,250 --> 00:10:28,085
this may be the last
time I see you.
246
00:10:31,130 --> 00:10:32,882
What a way to go.
247
00:10:32,882 --> 00:10:34,759
What a way to go.
248
00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:36,385
Uh, Commandant?
249
00:10:36,427 --> 00:10:37,762
Be kind.
250
00:10:56,072 --> 00:10:57,323
Good evening.
251
00:10:57,365 --> 00:10:58,866
Good evening, Colonel.
252
00:10:58,908 --> 00:10:59,867
Come in.
253
00:11:04,413 --> 00:11:05,664
You're late.
254
00:11:05,706 --> 00:11:06,874
Oh, I'm sorry.
255
00:11:06,916 --> 00:11:08,918
Um, there was
an emergency at camp...
256
00:11:08,959 --> 00:11:10,294
A top-level decision.
257
00:11:10,336 --> 00:11:11,754
The traffic
was terrible.
258
00:11:11,754 --> 00:11:14,548
I hurried as much
as I could... honest.
259
00:11:14,590 --> 00:11:16,467
Just so that
you're here.
260
00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:18,094
Yes.
261
00:11:18,135 --> 00:11:21,347
Sometimes, Colonel, it pays
to keep a woman waiting.
262
00:11:22,598 --> 00:11:23,891
And waiting.
263
00:11:23,933 --> 00:11:27,144
I've heard so much
about you, Colonel.
264
00:11:27,186 --> 00:11:30,773
You're much better
looking than your pictures.
265
00:11:33,442 --> 00:11:36,028
And I've waited
such a long time
266
00:11:36,070 --> 00:11:38,280
for this
little rendezvous.
267
00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:39,698
Have you?
268
00:11:39,740 --> 00:11:42,618
Mmm... and now that
I'm close to you,
269
00:11:42,618 --> 00:11:46,330
I find you even more
attractive than I thought.
270
00:11:46,372 --> 00:11:48,791
Those blue eyes.
271
00:11:48,833 --> 00:11:52,086
That full mouth.
272
00:11:54,046 --> 00:11:55,881
I'm in the presence
of a love god.
273
00:12:01,053 --> 00:12:03,514
Oh, you shouldn't
have done that.
274
00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:04,598
I lost control.
275
00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:06,600
Some wine, Colonel?
276
00:12:06,642 --> 00:12:07,643
Please.
277
00:12:12,273 --> 00:12:14,066
You know, I think in you...
278
00:12:14,108 --> 00:12:17,486
I've finally
met my match.
279
00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:18,863
Oh, I'm so sorry.
280
00:12:18,904 --> 00:12:20,197
Oh, oh,
it's nothing.
281
00:12:20,239 --> 00:12:22,867
It's... it's
just a little stain.
282
00:12:22,908 --> 00:12:24,034
You'd better
take that off.
283
00:12:24,076 --> 00:12:25,619
Oh, yes, yes, I will, I will.
284
00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:29,039
Oh, thank you.
285
00:12:29,081 --> 00:12:31,625
You'd better slip this on
while I try to clean that.
286
00:12:31,667 --> 00:12:33,460
Do you know that
a suspicious person
287
00:12:33,502 --> 00:12:35,921
might think that you had
done this purposely?
288
00:12:35,963 --> 00:12:38,924
Oh... I'll be back
in a minute.
289
00:12:38,966 --> 00:12:40,259
Mmm... don't.
290
00:12:40,301 --> 00:12:43,345
You make me hunger
all the more for your lips.
291
00:12:43,345 --> 00:12:45,556
Oh, hurry... please.
292
00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:47,725
Klink left 30 minutes ago.
293
00:12:47,766 --> 00:12:50,019
She should have
the film by now.
294
00:12:50,060 --> 00:12:52,354
Colonel, we got a problem,
and a big one.
295
00:12:52,396 --> 00:12:53,397
What's up?
296
00:12:53,439 --> 00:12:54,857
This is Sergeant
Meadows, sir...
297
00:12:54,857 --> 00:12:56,317
The SS just
brought him in.
298
00:12:56,358 --> 00:12:58,444
He led the raid on
the land mine factory.
299
00:12:58,485 --> 00:12:59,737
We got what
you went after.
300
00:12:59,778 --> 00:13:01,280
The microfilms were
turned over to us.
301
00:13:01,322 --> 00:13:03,449
They should be on their
way to London by now.
302
00:13:03,490 --> 00:13:04,992
Well, you'd better
try and stop them.
303
00:13:05,034 --> 00:13:07,369
Here, this is
what London needs.
304
00:13:07,369 --> 00:13:09,955
That's a model of
the actual land mine.
305
00:13:09,997 --> 00:13:11,665
What's on
the microfilm?
306
00:13:11,707 --> 00:13:12,750
An early
experimental version,
307
00:13:12,791 --> 00:13:14,960
all been
completely changed.
308
00:13:15,002 --> 00:13:17,504
If our boys start to
use those for a guide,
309
00:13:17,546 --> 00:13:19,214
they'll be blown
to bits.
310
00:13:30,809 --> 00:13:32,519
I'm waiting, Püppchen.
311
00:13:45,324 --> 00:13:46,075
Hello.
312
00:13:47,618 --> 00:13:48,702
I was just leaving.
313
00:13:48,744 --> 00:13:50,120
I'm glad I caught you.
314
00:13:51,747 --> 00:13:53,207
What?!
315
00:13:53,248 --> 00:13:55,417
That's wonderful...
316
00:13:55,501 --> 00:13:57,252
All of Hammelburg is crawling
with Gestapo
317
00:13:57,294 --> 00:13:59,630
and you jeopardize my life
with the wrong film.
318
00:13:59,671 --> 00:14:01,965
I should have left
when I had a chance.
319
00:14:02,007 --> 00:14:03,092
Maybe you'd better go.
320
00:14:03,092 --> 00:14:05,969
A lot of lives are at stake.
321
00:14:06,011 --> 00:14:08,097
We'll try to come up
with another plan.
322
00:14:08,138 --> 00:14:09,515
No, no.
323
00:14:09,556 --> 00:14:10,974
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
324
00:14:11,016 --> 00:14:14,937
I'm just jumpy, I... I think
I need a vacation from war.
325
00:14:14,978 --> 00:14:17,606
I-I-I'm sorry.
326
00:14:17,606 --> 00:14:18,732
I'll be all right.
327
00:14:18,774 --> 00:14:19,942
Good girl.
328
00:14:21,443 --> 00:14:23,445
We've got a model
of the real thing here.
329
00:14:23,487 --> 00:14:25,948
Try to get rid of Klink
as fast as you can
330
00:14:25,948 --> 00:14:27,449
and we'll get it over to you.
331
00:14:27,491 --> 00:14:28,867
How much time do you have?
332
00:14:28,909 --> 00:14:30,661
The plane is picking me up
at midnight.
333
00:14:30,702 --> 00:14:32,412
Good.
334
00:14:32,454 --> 00:14:34,790
The first thing
I want you to do is...
335
00:14:34,790 --> 00:14:37,126
Come to your tiger,
my little apple strudel.
336
00:14:37,167 --> 00:14:38,127
Out.
Take...
337
00:14:38,168 --> 00:14:39,128
Out?
Out.
338
00:14:39,169 --> 00:14:40,462
You want me to go?
339
00:14:40,462 --> 00:14:41,964
You... you can't
be serious.
340
00:14:42,005 --> 00:14:42,965
It's irresistible me.
341
00:14:43,006 --> 00:14:45,717
Remember...
The blue eyes,
342
00:14:45,759 --> 00:14:47,136
the kissable lips?
343
00:14:47,177 --> 00:14:48,470
Think... you'll never
forgive yourself.
344
00:14:48,470 --> 00:14:49,847
Out!
345
00:14:49,888 --> 00:14:51,974
How can you turn
all this down?
346
00:14:51,974 --> 00:14:52,975
Good night, Colonel.
347
00:15:02,734 --> 00:15:03,485
Here he comes.
348
00:15:05,154 --> 00:15:07,156
Colonel Hogan,
Colonel Hogan...
349
00:15:07,156 --> 00:15:08,323
I can't say.
350
00:15:08,323 --> 00:15:09,992
You wouldn't believe it.
351
00:15:10,033 --> 00:15:12,786
The Countess Marlene called me.
352
00:15:12,828 --> 00:15:13,829
No kidding?
353
00:15:13,871 --> 00:15:16,331
Queen bee has sent
for her honey.
354
00:15:16,373 --> 00:15:18,500
Schultz going in
for Klink, huh?
355
00:15:20,085 --> 00:15:22,504
They're putting in
the first team.
356
00:15:24,464 --> 00:15:26,049
Isn't that the colonel's?
357
00:15:26,091 --> 00:15:28,176
Well, we thought it
brightened up the room.
358
00:15:28,176 --> 00:15:29,511
I see nothing...
Nothing!
359
00:15:29,553 --> 00:15:31,638
Hey, Schultz, what
are you taking her?
360
00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:32,639
Taking her?
361
00:15:32,681 --> 00:15:34,182
Flowers, something.
362
00:15:34,224 --> 00:15:35,809
You can't go there empty-handed.
363
00:15:35,851 --> 00:15:39,229
Yeah, a woman like that is
used to diamonds and furs.
364
00:15:39,271 --> 00:15:40,480
Tell you what, Schultz.
365
00:15:40,522 --> 00:15:41,857
Here, take her this.
366
00:15:41,857 --> 00:15:42,858
She'll love it.
367
00:15:42,858 --> 00:15:43,817
The colonel's?
368
00:15:43,859 --> 00:15:44,943
I couldn't...
I wouldn't!
369
00:15:44,985 --> 00:15:46,528
The most desirable
woman in Europe.
370
00:15:46,570 --> 00:15:48,030
But I will!
371
00:15:48,030 --> 00:15:50,699
Colonel Hogan, please, you won't
tell the commandant that I...
372
00:15:50,741 --> 00:15:53,911
I hear nothing,
Schultz, nothing.
373
00:15:55,412 --> 00:15:56,413
Good.
374
00:15:59,750 --> 00:16:01,710
Beautiful!
375
00:16:01,710 --> 00:16:03,420
How thoughtful.
376
00:16:03,462 --> 00:16:06,048
Exactly what I wanted.
377
00:16:06,089 --> 00:16:07,841
Me, too.
378
00:16:07,883 --> 00:16:10,510
How can I ever
thank you?
379
00:16:10,552 --> 00:16:12,971
I'll make out
a schedule.
380
00:16:14,973 --> 00:16:16,224
Who is it?
381
00:16:16,266 --> 00:16:18,060
Colonel Klink.
382
00:16:18,101 --> 00:16:18,894
Oh.
383
00:16:25,317 --> 00:16:26,443
What is it, Colonel?
384
00:16:26,485 --> 00:16:28,570
I've come back
to give you another chance.
385
00:16:28,570 --> 00:16:29,571
But I...
386
00:16:29,571 --> 00:16:31,823
Maybe... maybe I was
too much for you.
387
00:16:31,865 --> 00:16:33,617
I know how overwhelming
I can be.
388
00:16:33,659 --> 00:16:35,494
Why, that's funny,
I have a plant
389
00:16:35,535 --> 00:16:37,120
just like that,
even the pot.
390
00:16:37,162 --> 00:16:38,246
Not now, Colonel.
391
00:16:38,288 --> 00:16:39,998
Oh, I wouldn't want you
to hate yourself.
392
00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:40,791
Out!
393
00:16:40,832 --> 00:16:41,792
I'm going, I'm going.
394
00:16:41,833 --> 00:16:44,169
This is no way
to treat a love god.
395
00:16:44,211 --> 00:16:45,921
Good night, Colonel.
396
00:16:51,468 --> 00:16:54,763
That is my plant.
397
00:16:56,932 --> 00:16:57,891
Aha!
398
00:16:59,851 --> 00:17:01,686
I'm glad you're here,
Herr Kommandant.
399
00:17:01,728 --> 00:17:04,064
I found this woman
with your plant.
400
00:17:04,106 --> 00:17:05,232
Out!
401
00:17:05,273 --> 00:17:06,942
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.
402
00:17:09,736 --> 00:17:11,696
You're not going to
take it away, Colonel.
403
00:17:24,084 --> 00:17:25,710
Old Hot Lips
is back, sir.
404
00:17:25,752 --> 00:17:28,922
I don't think he's
going to be very happy.
405
00:17:29,131 --> 00:17:30,340
Oh, no.
406
00:17:31,758 --> 00:17:33,635
You are hereby
restricted to camp,
407
00:17:33,718 --> 00:17:35,178
and starting
immediately,
408
00:17:35,220 --> 00:17:39,141
you will march guard duty
until I tell you stop!
409
00:17:39,141 --> 00:17:40,559
Jawohl,
Herr Kommandant.
410
00:17:43,019 --> 00:17:44,563
What do
we do now?
411
00:17:44,604 --> 00:17:46,982
Notify London to forget
about those mines.
412
00:17:46,982 --> 00:17:48,650
Not yet.
413
00:17:48,650 --> 00:17:49,985
There's still
a little time
414
00:17:50,026 --> 00:17:51,862
before the widow's plane
picks her up.
415
00:17:51,903 --> 00:17:54,865
So what? It's a cinch we
can't get Klink to go back now.
416
00:17:54,906 --> 00:17:56,324
If Klink won't go
to the mountain,
417
00:17:56,324 --> 00:17:57,492
we'll bring the mountain
to Klink.
418
00:17:57,534 --> 00:17:58,827
Kinch, get her
on the phone.
419
00:17:58,827 --> 00:18:00,662
Tell her to come here...
It's the only way
420
00:18:00,704 --> 00:18:02,330
we hope to get
that plant to her.
421
00:18:02,330 --> 00:18:03,206
Right, Colonel.
422
00:18:03,248 --> 00:18:04,624
But after catching her
423
00:18:04,666 --> 00:18:06,751
with Schultz, Klink will
never agree to see her.
424
00:18:06,793 --> 00:18:08,545
Yes, he will.
425
00:18:08,587 --> 00:18:10,797
I'm on my way over
to tell him why.
426
00:18:14,759 --> 00:18:18,346
Imagine passing me
up... a colonel...
427
00:18:18,388 --> 00:18:20,932
For that, uh...
sergeant.
428
00:18:20,974 --> 00:18:22,893
She's twisted, Colonel.
429
00:18:22,934 --> 00:18:24,769
Next thing, it'll be
privates and corporals,
430
00:18:24,811 --> 00:18:27,272
and we colonels
will be out of business.
431
00:18:27,314 --> 00:18:29,983
She's obviously
attracted by riffraff.
432
00:18:30,025 --> 00:18:31,776
Then again,
she did pass up Hitler.
433
00:18:31,818 --> 00:18:32,819
Hogan!
434
00:18:32,861 --> 00:18:35,697
He was a corporal,
wasn't he?
435
00:18:35,697 --> 00:18:39,200
Maybe this thing with Schultz
was a moment of madness...
436
00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:40,577
She realizes her mistake
437
00:18:40,619 --> 00:18:43,413
and now she's come back
to the big fellow.
438
00:18:43,455 --> 00:18:44,539
It's too late, Hogan.
439
00:18:44,581 --> 00:18:45,832
With me, there's
no second chance.
440
00:18:45,874 --> 00:18:48,209
You're absolutely right,
Colonel.
441
00:18:48,209 --> 00:18:51,379
How often does a woman get a
golden opportunity like you?
442
00:18:51,421 --> 00:18:54,716
Hogan, will you leave
that plant alone?
443
00:18:54,716 --> 00:18:57,135
And to abuse it,
she should suffer.
444
00:18:57,177 --> 00:18:59,387
Exactly!
445
00:19:04,601 --> 00:19:05,560
Hello.
446
00:19:05,602 --> 00:19:06,561
Colonel Klink speaking.
447
00:19:06,603 --> 00:19:07,395
Who?
448
00:19:08,939 --> 00:19:09,940
Hogan, it's her.
449
00:19:09,981 --> 00:19:12,484
She's at the gate...
She wants to see me.
450
00:19:12,525 --> 00:19:13,526
No.
451
00:19:13,568 --> 00:19:14,569
Yes.
452
00:19:14,569 --> 00:19:16,571
I'll teach her
a lesson.
453
00:19:16,613 --> 00:19:18,573
Oh, wait a minute,
wait a minute.
454
00:19:18,615 --> 00:19:21,242
You want her to suffer?
Here's your chance.
455
00:19:21,242 --> 00:19:23,328
Obviously, she wants you.
456
00:19:23,370 --> 00:19:26,206
You've got her
right here, sir.
457
00:19:26,247 --> 00:19:30,251
Toy with her
and then crush her...
458
00:19:30,251 --> 00:19:32,879
An eye for an eye,
complete rejection.
459
00:19:34,589 --> 00:19:37,258
I'll give her a lesson
she'll never forget.
460
00:19:37,258 --> 00:19:38,885
Have her come
to my quarters.
461
00:19:41,096 --> 00:19:44,599
Before I get through
with her, she will crawl,
462
00:19:44,599 --> 00:19:47,268
she will beg, but it
will do her no good.
463
00:19:47,310 --> 00:19:49,145
I will be iron.
464
00:19:49,187 --> 00:19:49,938
You better go, Hogan.
465
00:19:52,190 --> 00:19:53,942
Don't let her cry
too much, sir.
466
00:19:58,113 --> 00:19:59,239
Hi.
467
00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:00,740
I'm Hogan.
468
00:20:00,782 --> 00:20:02,409
You know what to do.
469
00:20:02,450 --> 00:20:04,744
Yes, I soften him up
and get the plant.
470
00:20:04,786 --> 00:20:07,288
It's going to be close...
I only have 15 minutes.
471
00:20:07,288 --> 00:20:09,791
Just one thing...
He's going to play hard to get.
472
00:20:09,791 --> 00:20:11,376
Hard to get?
473
00:20:11,418 --> 00:20:12,627
Him?
474
00:20:12,627 --> 00:20:14,045
He should give stamps.
475
00:20:14,087 --> 00:20:16,005
We'll be right outside
if you need us.
476
00:20:16,047 --> 00:20:17,006
Good luck.
477
00:20:17,048 --> 00:20:17,924
Thank you.
478
00:20:24,556 --> 00:20:25,974
Uh...
479
00:20:26,015 --> 00:20:27,600
What can I do for you?
480
00:20:27,642 --> 00:20:31,646
Well, normally I'm
a very shy person, Colonel.
481
00:20:31,688 --> 00:20:34,566
I've never done anything
like this before.
482
00:20:34,607 --> 00:20:36,109
I think I understand.
483
00:20:36,151 --> 00:20:39,654
But I had this
uncontrollable urge.
484
00:20:39,696 --> 00:20:42,365
I'm so sad for you.
485
00:20:42,407 --> 00:20:46,369
Oh, I could not rest
until I saw you again,
486
00:20:46,411 --> 00:20:49,456
and I thought
this would be our night.
487
00:20:52,292 --> 00:20:54,002
We don't need that light.
488
00:20:54,002 --> 00:20:55,003
Hmm?
489
00:20:56,754 --> 00:20:58,214
You seem so distant.
490
00:20:58,256 --> 00:21:01,593
Here I am,
hungering for your lips,
491
00:21:01,634 --> 00:21:04,804
and you're making me suffer.
492
00:21:04,846 --> 00:21:06,973
Don't I interest you
at all?
493
00:21:07,015 --> 00:21:09,017
Earlier perhaps,
but not now.
494
00:21:12,770 --> 00:21:14,564
Hmph! It will
do you no good.
495
00:21:18,276 --> 00:21:19,402
No good at all.
496
00:21:23,865 --> 00:21:25,241
You've suffered enough.
497
00:21:25,283 --> 00:21:28,494
I want much more
than just tonight, Colonel.
498
00:21:28,536 --> 00:21:31,331
I'm yours,
364 days a year.
499
00:21:31,372 --> 00:21:33,416
Christmas I have to spend
with my mother.
500
00:21:34,459 --> 00:21:37,045
Well, I was thinking
of a souvenir,
501
00:21:37,086 --> 00:21:40,423
something I could have
and care for...
502
00:21:40,465 --> 00:21:42,467
A lock of hair?
503
00:21:43,635 --> 00:21:45,303
No.
504
00:21:45,345 --> 00:21:46,721
A plant.
505
00:21:46,763 --> 00:21:47,764
Perfect.
506
00:21:47,805 --> 00:21:49,974
A living reminder of you.
507
00:21:50,016 --> 00:21:51,392
It's yours.
508
00:21:51,434 --> 00:21:52,685
And now...
509
00:21:52,727 --> 00:21:53,728
Now.
510
00:21:53,728 --> 00:21:55,063
Some champagne.
511
00:21:55,104 --> 00:21:56,314
Now?
512
00:21:56,356 --> 00:22:01,110
The wonder of your lips
makes this a festive occasion.
513
00:22:01,152 --> 00:22:02,904
I'll get it.
514
00:22:02,946 --> 00:22:04,155
I'll be right back.
515
00:22:10,286 --> 00:22:11,162
Hogan.
516
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:17,251
I've got it.
517
00:22:17,251 --> 00:22:18,586
Hold it...
Schultz.
518
00:22:20,463 --> 00:22:22,173
What's going on?
519
00:22:22,215 --> 00:22:24,008
My little strudel!
520
00:22:24,050 --> 00:22:25,760
W-What are you
doing in there?
521
00:22:25,802 --> 00:22:28,012
I've been looking
for you.
522
00:22:28,054 --> 00:22:29,222
For me?
523
00:22:29,263 --> 00:22:31,766
You're not going
to keep me waiting.
524
00:22:31,808 --> 00:22:32,767
In there?
525
00:22:32,809 --> 00:22:34,268
What about
the commandant?
526
00:22:34,268 --> 00:22:35,228
He's gone out.
527
00:22:35,269 --> 00:22:36,270
Hurry.
528
00:22:37,689 --> 00:22:40,191
Don't start without me.
529
00:22:42,026 --> 00:22:43,653
I'll be right there,
Püppchen.
530
00:22:48,825 --> 00:22:50,410
Nothing is too good
for my Püppchen.
531
00:22:50,451 --> 00:22:51,744
Ah... Oh!
532
00:22:51,786 --> 00:22:54,414
But I don't know which
makes me more romantic,
533
00:22:54,455 --> 00:22:56,332
champagne or caviar.
534
00:22:56,374 --> 00:22:57,333
Mmm.
535
00:22:57,375 --> 00:22:58,793
I'll get some
of that, too.
536
00:22:58,835 --> 00:23:00,169
Mmm.
537
00:23:04,340 --> 00:23:06,175
Shh.
538
00:23:10,763 --> 00:23:12,223
Now, sit
in this chair.
539
00:23:14,058 --> 00:23:15,685
Close your eyes.
540
00:23:16,519 --> 00:23:18,980
Stay very still.
541
00:23:18,980 --> 00:23:20,690
I just want to look at you.
542
00:23:25,695 --> 00:23:26,988
Pucker up.
543
00:23:30,408 --> 00:23:32,535
There you go, Kinch.
544
00:23:32,577 --> 00:23:33,536
Careful, now.
545
00:23:39,417 --> 00:23:40,877
Püppchen...
546
00:23:40,918 --> 00:23:44,380
Champagne and caviar,
547
00:23:44,422 --> 00:23:49,260
and then one surrenders
to the inevitable.
548
00:23:50,470 --> 00:23:51,471
Bye.
549
00:23:51,512 --> 00:23:52,930
Danke.
550
00:24:01,856 --> 00:24:05,193
Aw, I was hoping
it would last.
551
00:24:05,193 --> 00:24:07,111
You're a sentimental
fool, Colonel.
552
00:24:07,153 --> 00:24:09,113
Sue me...
I like a happy ending.
553
00:24:15,203 --> 00:24:16,162
Püppchen.
554
00:24:17,330 --> 00:24:18,581
Püppchen.
555
00:24:23,211 --> 00:24:24,170
Colonel?
556
00:24:26,464 --> 00:24:28,216
Send her off already?
557
00:24:28,257 --> 00:24:30,051
Poor kid... must have
broken her heart.
558
00:24:30,092 --> 00:24:33,012
As I told you, Hogan,
she had to be taught a lesson.
559
00:24:33,054 --> 00:24:35,056
And the old professor
gave her one, right?
560
00:24:35,097 --> 00:24:37,516
Look, you're not supposed
to be out of the barracks
561
00:24:37,558 --> 00:24:38,517
at this hour.
562
00:24:38,559 --> 00:24:39,727
Oh, you're right,
Colonel.
563
00:24:39,769 --> 00:24:41,979
Boy, I'd sure like
to see you in action.
564
00:24:42,021 --> 00:24:43,981
Next time you'll have
to sell tickets, sir.
565
00:24:44,023 --> 00:24:44,899
Good night.
566
00:24:47,401 --> 00:24:48,569
Püppchen.
567
00:24:48,611 --> 00:24:50,404
Püppchen.
38324
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