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Herr Kommandant,
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Colonel Hogan reporting
as ordered.
3
00:00:52,344 --> 00:00:53,553
You asked
to see me, Colonel?
4
00:00:53,595 --> 00:00:54,805
I ordered you here.
5
00:00:54,805 --> 00:00:55,931
It was a command.
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00:00:55,973 --> 00:00:58,016
I told him, Herr Kommandant,
it was an order.
7
00:00:58,058 --> 00:01:01,186
I said, "Oh, boy, the Commandant
is so mad," I said.
8
00:01:01,228 --> 00:01:03,105
Schultz, shut up
and get out.
9
00:01:03,146 --> 00:01:05,983
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.
10
00:01:06,024 --> 00:01:08,902
Well, whatever it was,
I'm here.
11
00:01:08,944 --> 00:01:10,487
What's up?
12
00:01:10,487 --> 00:01:13,031
Hogan, I would
like to remind you
13
00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:14,324
that this is
a prison camp,
14
00:01:14,324 --> 00:01:17,327
and that you
and your men are prisoners.
15
00:01:17,327 --> 00:01:18,870
I'll accept that.
16
00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:21,915
And any reflection
on this camp
17
00:01:21,957 --> 00:01:23,166
is a reflection on me.
18
00:01:23,208 --> 00:01:24,209
Yeah. Is that all?
19
00:01:24,251 --> 00:01:25,752
No.
20
00:01:25,794 --> 00:01:28,255
Today, when your
men went into town
21
00:01:28,296 --> 00:01:29,798
on a work detail,
they did something
22
00:01:29,840 --> 00:01:32,175
which I consider
a personal insult.
23
00:01:32,217 --> 00:01:33,260
What did they do?
24
00:01:33,301 --> 00:01:35,512
They were wearing armbands
which said
25
00:01:35,512 --> 00:01:38,807
that they were prisoners here
at Stalag 13.
26
00:01:38,849 --> 00:01:44,020
They went into a tourist agency
and asked for travel folders.
27
00:01:44,062 --> 00:01:45,355
How does that
make me look?
28
00:01:45,355 --> 00:01:47,357
Maybe they're not happy here.
29
00:01:47,357 --> 00:01:49,359
Hogan!
30
00:01:49,401 --> 00:01:51,236
I have been too
easy with you.
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00:01:51,278 --> 00:01:52,529
From now on,
32
00:01:52,529 --> 00:01:54,698
there will be
the strictest discipline.
33
00:01:54,698 --> 00:01:56,658
You and your men
will toe the mark.
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00:01:56,700 --> 00:01:58,910
Gosh, all the fun
and good times are out?
35
00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:02,956
Any breach of regulations,
and it'll be the cooler.
36
00:02:02,998 --> 00:02:04,583
Uh, okay.
37
00:02:04,624 --> 00:02:06,251
I'll certainly tell the men
38
00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:08,712
that you're, um,
dissatisfied with them.
39
00:02:08,712 --> 00:02:10,380
No, that's not
strong enough.
40
00:02:10,380 --> 00:02:11,882
Tell them that
I'm angry.
41
00:02:11,882 --> 00:02:13,759
And when Wilhelm
Klink is angry,
42
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,719
somebody will get
it in the neck.
43
00:02:15,761 --> 00:02:16,887
Herr Kommandant?
44
00:02:16,928 --> 00:02:18,430
Schultz, I told
you to get out.
45
00:02:18,472 --> 00:02:20,265
I am so glad to see
you, Major Hochstetter.
46
00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:21,892
Heil Hitler.
Heil Hitler.
47
00:02:21,933 --> 00:02:23,059
This is Herr Schlager.
48
00:02:23,059 --> 00:02:24,394
Oh, Herr Schlager,
what a great...
49
00:02:24,436 --> 00:02:25,645
Heil Hitler.
50
00:02:25,687 --> 00:02:26,772
Of course.
Heil Hitler.
51
00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:27,606
Herr Schlager is here...
52
00:02:29,399 --> 00:02:30,817
What is he doing here?
53
00:02:30,859 --> 00:02:32,861
Oh, just routine
camp business.
54
00:02:32,903 --> 00:02:35,614
This is Colonel Hogan,
Senior P.O.W. Officer.
55
00:02:35,655 --> 00:02:36,865
Heil.
56
00:02:36,907 --> 00:02:39,075
An American. Ugh.
57
00:02:39,075 --> 00:02:40,619
You sound like you've seen a lot
of them lately.
58
00:02:40,660 --> 00:02:41,912
That'll be all, Hogan.
59
00:02:41,953 --> 00:02:43,538
Well, don't you want
to talk some more
60
00:02:43,580 --> 00:02:44,581
about the
travel folders?
61
00:02:44,623 --> 00:02:45,916
Look here, Hogan, I... I...
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00:02:45,916 --> 00:02:47,918
That will be all for now, Hogan.
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00:02:47,918 --> 00:02:50,086
Please feel free
to come and talk to me anytime.
64
00:02:50,128 --> 00:02:52,088
I encourage my prisoners
to come
65
00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:54,299
and discuss their problems
with me.
66
00:02:54,341 --> 00:02:56,426
I call that
being soft.
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00:02:56,426 --> 00:02:58,094
Oh, but I never give them
any sympathy.
68
00:02:58,094 --> 00:02:59,179
Right, Hogan?
69
00:02:59,221 --> 00:03:00,180
Oh, that's right.
70
00:03:00,222 --> 00:03:01,890
Most of the time,
he abuses us.
71
00:03:01,932 --> 00:03:03,141
There you are.
72
00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:04,559
You can be very proud
of the Commandant.
73
00:03:04,601 --> 00:03:07,062
He's mean, vicious, rotten
through and through.
74
00:03:07,103 --> 00:03:10,023
Brutal,
detestable, mean.
75
00:03:10,065 --> 00:03:10,982
Wait a minute.
I said that.
76
00:03:11,107 --> 00:03:12,484
Dismissed, Hogan!
77
00:03:12,609 --> 00:03:14,819
I said, dismissed.
78
00:03:14,861 --> 00:03:16,780
Just trying to give you
a good character, sir.
79
00:03:16,780 --> 00:03:18,198
Ah, Herr Schlager,
please,
80
00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:19,741
please, won't
you sit down?
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00:03:19,783 --> 00:03:20,742
Let me take your
briefcase from you.
82
00:03:22,118 --> 00:03:23,620
Oh. I'm-I'm so sorry.
83
00:03:42,514 --> 00:03:43,640
What's up,
Colonel?
84
00:03:43,682 --> 00:03:44,724
I don't know.
85
00:03:44,766 --> 00:03:46,309
But Hochstetter
just brought a guy in
86
00:03:46,351 --> 00:03:48,144
who's got a briefcase
chained to his arm.
87
00:03:48,186 --> 00:03:49,437
Maybe it's
his lunch.
88
00:03:49,479 --> 00:03:51,648
Then the recipe
must be top secret.
89
00:03:51,690 --> 00:03:53,275
You were absolutely right
to come here.
90
00:03:53,316 --> 00:03:54,609
Got it, Colonel.
91
00:03:54,651 --> 00:03:57,570
From a security standpoint,
Stalag 13 is a fortress.
92
00:03:57,612 --> 00:03:59,656
And I can give you
my personal assurance
93
00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:01,199
that you're quite safe here.
94
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:03,576
Herr Schlager does not
need your protection, Klink.
95
00:04:03,618 --> 00:04:05,161
The Gestapo can
take care of that.
96
00:04:05,287 --> 00:04:06,454
Oh, I didn't mean
97
00:04:06,496 --> 00:04:07,998
that the Gestapo
was not capable.
98
00:04:07,998 --> 00:04:10,041
Major Hochstetter,
you know my admiration
99
00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:11,501
for your wonderful Gestapo.
100
00:04:11,501 --> 00:04:13,628
If I've said it once,
I've said it a thousand times.
101
00:04:13,712 --> 00:04:14,921
Colonel Klink...
102
00:04:14,963 --> 00:04:16,297
Yes, sir.
103
00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:18,758
Let me explain,
so it will be perfectly clear.
104
00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:20,677
I'm all ears.
105
00:04:20,719 --> 00:04:24,514
I have been entrusted
with a highly important mission.
106
00:04:24,514 --> 00:04:26,558
That mission has been
accomplished.
107
00:04:26,599 --> 00:04:29,352
The results of it are
here in this briefcase.
108
00:04:29,352 --> 00:04:30,979
Good, good.
Very good.
109
00:04:31,021 --> 00:04:32,814
I congratulate you.
110
00:04:32,856 --> 00:04:35,025
Now, nothing must
happen to it.
111
00:04:35,066 --> 00:04:37,527
I must get it
safely to Berlin!
112
00:04:37,569 --> 00:04:40,530
And I have said you
could not be in a safer place.
113
00:04:40,572 --> 00:04:41,823
This is a prison
114
00:04:41,865 --> 00:04:44,492
that not only can prisoners
not get out of,
115
00:04:44,534 --> 00:04:46,077
but they can't get into it.
116
00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:47,579
May I have the phone?
117
00:04:47,620 --> 00:04:48,830
Oh, yes, sir, please.
118
00:04:48,872 --> 00:04:50,040
Help yourself.
119
00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:51,624
My prison is your prison.
120
00:04:51,666 --> 00:04:53,918
Klink, please, stop
making speeches.
121
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:57,130
Admit it... you are upset
because Herr Schlager feels
122
00:04:57,172 --> 00:05:00,175
that it's safer here
than your Gestapo headquarters.
123
00:05:00,216 --> 00:05:01,468
Shh.
124
00:05:01,509 --> 00:05:02,719
Hello.
125
00:05:02,719 --> 00:05:04,888
This is Herr Julius Schlager.
126
00:05:04,888 --> 00:05:06,222
Priority Double-A.
127
00:05:06,264 --> 00:05:08,016
Put me through at once
128
00:05:08,057 --> 00:05:10,560
to the Fuhrer's private line
in Berlin.
129
00:05:10,602 --> 00:05:12,729
Maybe it's the Fuhrer's lunch
in that briefcase.
130
00:05:14,397 --> 00:05:15,565
Sounds like
big stuff.
131
00:05:15,607 --> 00:05:17,567
How are we going
to get a look at it, Colonel?
132
00:05:17,567 --> 00:05:18,735
I don't know,
133
00:05:18,735 --> 00:05:20,695
but it's our
priority Double-A.
134
00:05:20,737 --> 00:05:21,571
Hello.
135
00:05:21,613 --> 00:05:23,406
Mein Fuhrer.
136
00:05:23,448 --> 00:05:26,034
I have got it.
137
00:05:26,075 --> 00:05:29,078
Oh, yeah, it is all
we ever hoped for!
138
00:05:29,078 --> 00:05:31,498
Oh, but of course
I understand.
139
00:05:31,539 --> 00:05:33,708
I guard it with my life.
140
00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:37,754
Oh, thank you, Mein Fuhrer.
141
00:05:37,754 --> 00:05:41,090
The Fuhrer is sending
a Luftwaffe plane here
142
00:05:41,090 --> 00:05:42,634
to pick me up.
143
00:05:42,675 --> 00:05:44,427
And in the meantime,
I repeat,
144
00:05:44,427 --> 00:05:46,805
nothing must happen
to this briefcase!
145
00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:49,265
Do I make myself clear?!
146
00:05:49,265 --> 00:05:50,892
You know,
getting that briefcase
147
00:05:50,934 --> 00:05:52,227
isn't going to be easy.
148
00:05:52,268 --> 00:05:54,354
Well, we could get
a message to the RAF.
149
00:05:54,395 --> 00:05:56,439
Have them
down the plane.
150
00:05:56,439 --> 00:05:59,275
No, we got to see what's
in that briefcase.
151
00:05:59,317 --> 00:06:00,944
Maybe we could pump Klink
and find out.
152
00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:02,153
Klink doesn't know,
153
00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:03,530
and neither does
Hochstetter.
154
00:06:03,571 --> 00:06:05,615
No, we got to find
out for ourselves.
155
00:06:05,657 --> 00:06:06,783
Now, how can
we do that
156
00:06:06,783 --> 00:06:07,992
when it's chained
to his wrist?
157
00:06:08,034 --> 00:06:09,285
Have him unchain it.
158
00:06:09,327 --> 00:06:11,412
We will;
just like that?
159
00:06:11,454 --> 00:06:12,580
Yeah.
160
00:06:12,622 --> 00:06:13,790
Newkirk, stand
next to LeBeau.
161
00:06:13,831 --> 00:06:15,041
Now, LeBeau,
you know
162
00:06:15,083 --> 00:06:16,334
he's going to
lift your wallet.
163
00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:17,544
What would you do?
164
00:06:17,585 --> 00:06:18,628
Oh, that's easy.
165
00:06:20,129 --> 00:06:22,257
That's what
anyone would do.
166
00:06:22,298 --> 00:06:24,050
And that's how we're
going to get Schlager
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00:06:24,092 --> 00:06:25,301
to unchain it
from his wrist.
168
00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:27,720
He'll put the briefcase
in his pocket?
169
00:06:27,762 --> 00:06:28,972
In a manner
of speaking.
170
00:06:29,013 --> 00:06:30,306
Or you could say,
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00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:32,725
he's going to put
it in our pocket.
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00:06:32,767 --> 00:06:34,060
You don't
understand, Schultz.
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00:06:34,102 --> 00:06:36,145
We're planting flowers
'cause we love beauty.
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00:06:36,145 --> 00:06:38,273
We want this to be a prison
we can be proud of.
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00:06:38,314 --> 00:06:40,692
With vegetables,
you can be proud
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00:06:40,733 --> 00:06:42,110
and eat them, too.
177
00:06:42,151 --> 00:06:43,695
Hey, Schultz!
178
00:06:43,736 --> 00:06:47,156
Yeah, Newkirk,
what is it?
179
00:06:47,198 --> 00:06:49,325
I think Commandant
Klink's looking for you.
180
00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:51,536
He knows where I am.
181
00:06:51,577 --> 00:06:53,663
I'm right here
if he wants me.
182
00:06:53,663 --> 00:06:55,832
What makes you think
he wants to see Schultz?
183
00:06:55,832 --> 00:06:58,167
Oh, I heard him say,
"Where is that idiot?"
184
00:06:58,209 --> 00:07:00,503
No. He said,
"Where is that stupid idiot?"
185
00:07:00,545 --> 00:07:02,422
Well, maybe he
meant someone else.
186
00:07:02,463 --> 00:07:03,965
No.
187
00:07:04,007 --> 00:07:05,383
He wants me.
188
00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:06,718
I'll be right back.
189
00:07:26,946 --> 00:07:28,114
Here he comes.
190
00:07:28,156 --> 00:07:30,325
Okay, let's go.
191
00:07:32,910 --> 00:07:34,203
Newkirk!
192
00:07:34,245 --> 00:07:35,371
Yeah?
193
00:07:35,413 --> 00:07:36,706
The Commandant didn't want me.
194
00:07:36,748 --> 00:07:38,875
Oh, it must have been
some other stupid idiot.
195
00:07:38,916 --> 00:07:40,877
Yeah.
196
00:07:40,918 --> 00:07:45,465
Oh, it's against regulations
to make insults to the guards.
197
00:07:45,506 --> 00:07:48,926
You have ten more minutes
for outside activities.
198
00:07:48,968 --> 00:07:51,387
Then back to the barracks,
you understand?
199
00:07:51,387 --> 00:07:52,513
Finish up, Carter.
200
00:07:52,555 --> 00:07:53,723
Hey, Carter.
201
00:07:53,765 --> 00:07:55,516
- Oh.
- Ow!
202
00:07:55,558 --> 00:07:56,642
Ow! Be careful!
203
00:07:56,684 --> 00:07:57,810
Sorry!
204
00:07:57,852 --> 00:07:59,687
Oh, you hurt me.
205
00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:14,243
Come in, come in.
206
00:08:15,745 --> 00:08:17,330
Yes, Schultz,
what is it?
207
00:08:17,371 --> 00:08:18,539
Herr Commandant,
208
00:08:18,581 --> 00:08:21,918
I want to report that...
I found this.
209
00:08:21,959 --> 00:08:23,419
Good.
210
00:08:23,419 --> 00:08:25,004
If nobody claims it,
you can keep it.
211
00:08:25,046 --> 00:08:26,089
Now get out.
212
00:08:26,130 --> 00:08:27,340
Wait a minute.
213
00:08:27,381 --> 00:08:29,842
Where did you find
this parachute?
214
00:08:29,884 --> 00:08:31,010
It was buried
in the yard.
215
00:08:31,052 --> 00:08:33,596
I thought
it looked suspicious.
216
00:08:33,596 --> 00:08:35,973
I thought
I should report it.
217
00:08:36,015 --> 00:08:39,602
I was only doing
what I thought was right.
218
00:08:39,602 --> 00:08:42,313
Herr Schlager,
the enemy knows you are here
219
00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:45,274
and have dropped a man
to get this briefcase.
220
00:08:45,274 --> 00:08:46,692
That's absolutely
ridiculous.
221
00:08:46,734 --> 00:08:49,278
I agree with
Hochstetter.
222
00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:51,113
Oh, I mean
it's ridiculous to think
223
00:08:51,155 --> 00:08:52,865
that he could
get away with it.
224
00:08:52,907 --> 00:08:54,617
I can assure you,
Herr Schlager,
225
00:08:54,617 --> 00:08:57,078
that wherever he's hiding,
he will be found.
226
00:08:57,119 --> 00:08:59,789
If you do not,
you will find yourself
227
00:08:59,831 --> 00:09:02,291
in a most disagreeable
situation.
228
00:09:02,291 --> 00:09:04,210
I don't see
how you can blame me.
229
00:09:04,252 --> 00:09:06,337
Where was the Luftwaffe
to stop him?
230
00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:07,797
Where was the Gestapo?
231
00:09:07,797 --> 00:09:09,799
And where were you
when an enemy agent dropped
232
00:09:09,799 --> 00:09:11,592
right in the middle
of your prison camp?
233
00:09:11,634 --> 00:09:14,095
We can talk
about this later.
234
00:09:14,136 --> 00:09:15,638
Of course, Herr Schlager.
235
00:09:15,638 --> 00:09:17,390
At your court-martial.
236
00:09:17,431 --> 00:09:21,102
But what precautions
do we take right now?
237
00:09:21,143 --> 00:09:23,813
I would say the first thing is
to put the briefcase
238
00:09:23,813 --> 00:09:27,650
in a secure place
and put a 24-hour guard on it.
239
00:09:27,650 --> 00:09:29,944
Meanwhile, we will
search every inch
240
00:09:29,986 --> 00:09:32,446
of Stalag 13 until we
find the enemy agent.
241
00:09:32,697 --> 00:09:35,741
I agree.
But what is a secure place?
242
00:09:37,910 --> 00:09:39,495
Right here in Klink's safe,
243
00:09:39,495 --> 00:09:41,747
with a guard posted.
244
00:09:41,789 --> 00:09:43,833
Well, that takes care
of the first step.
245
00:09:43,833 --> 00:09:45,167
They just put it
in our pocket.
246
00:09:57,680 --> 00:09:58,848
Search the barracks!
247
00:09:58,848 --> 00:10:00,182
Hurry!
248
00:10:00,224 --> 00:10:01,225
Hey, they just gone
249
00:10:01,267 --> 00:10:02,560
into Barracks Four, sir.
250
00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:04,687
They're tearing the
place upside down.
251
00:10:04,729 --> 00:10:06,063
I was stopped
three times
252
00:10:06,105 --> 00:10:07,356
coming across
the yard.
253
00:10:07,398 --> 00:10:08,524
Is that so?
254
00:10:08,566 --> 00:10:09,984
I wonder
what they're looking for.
255
00:10:10,026 --> 00:10:12,361
It seems there's a
parachute that's missing.
256
00:10:12,403 --> 00:10:14,196
Oh, they're so easy
to misplace.
257
00:10:14,196 --> 00:10:15,990
All right, so they put
the briefcase in the safe.
258
00:10:16,032 --> 00:10:17,825
So, how we going to get it
from the safe?
259
00:10:17,867 --> 00:10:19,577
We know the combination,
don't we?
260
00:10:19,618 --> 00:10:22,204
Sure, but they've been guarding
Klink's quarters every minute.
261
00:10:22,246 --> 00:10:23,372
How do we
get around that?
262
00:10:23,372 --> 00:10:24,707
Please, one miracle
at a time.
263
00:10:28,544 --> 00:10:31,213
Tell us what you're looking for;
we might be able to help you.
264
00:10:31,213 --> 00:10:33,716
You will know it when
we find him, Hogan.
265
00:10:33,716 --> 00:10:35,217
Oh, it's a man!
Can you describe...
266
00:10:35,259 --> 00:10:36,886
What'd he look like?
What was he wearing?
267
00:10:36,886 --> 00:10:37,887
A parachute.
A parachute.
268
00:10:37,928 --> 00:10:39,263
Schultz, shut up!
269
00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:41,557
Ah! Herr Kommandant,
here he is!
270
00:10:41,599 --> 00:10:43,100
Here he is!
I found him!
271
00:10:43,142 --> 00:10:44,894
Here he is!
I've got him!
272
00:10:44,935 --> 00:10:46,354
Hey, what's
the idea?!
273
00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:47,730
Oh, it's you!
274
00:10:47,730 --> 00:10:49,231
Oh, you think it would
be someone else.
275
00:10:49,231 --> 00:10:50,441
Oh, boy.
276
00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:51,609
Anybody else in there?
277
00:10:51,692 --> 00:10:52,777
Come on, raus!
278
00:10:52,818 --> 00:10:54,153
Everybody!
279
00:10:54,195 --> 00:10:55,738
Hogan, if you
know anything
280
00:10:55,780 --> 00:10:58,074
about this man that
we're looking for,
281
00:10:58,115 --> 00:10:59,492
you better
tell me now.
282
00:10:59,533 --> 00:11:01,410
All I know is
what I've heard here, sir.
283
00:11:01,410 --> 00:11:03,245
Now, Hogan, look me straight
in the eye
284
00:11:03,245 --> 00:11:05,039
and tell me
that you're not involved.
285
00:11:05,081 --> 00:11:06,248
I'm not involved.
286
00:11:06,290 --> 00:11:07,666
And you know nothing
about it?
287
00:11:07,708 --> 00:11:09,168
I know nothing about it.
288
00:11:09,210 --> 00:11:10,377
Satisfied?
289
00:11:10,419 --> 00:11:11,253
No!
290
00:11:11,295 --> 00:11:13,005
Herr Kommandant...
291
00:11:13,047 --> 00:11:15,216
I beg to report,
they did not find anything.
292
00:11:15,424 --> 00:11:16,509
All right.
293
00:11:16,550 --> 00:11:17,802
The next barracks.
294
00:11:17,885 --> 00:11:19,011
The next barracks.
295
00:11:19,053 --> 00:11:20,971
Okay, let's go.
Let's go, three, four.
296
00:11:21,013 --> 00:11:23,349
One, two, three, four,
one, two, three, four.
297
00:11:23,390 --> 00:11:24,600
One, two, three, four...
298
00:11:24,642 --> 00:11:25,935
I'll take care
of you later.
299
00:11:29,605 --> 00:11:30,940
I hate to say this, Colonel,
300
00:11:30,981 --> 00:11:32,108
but I don't
see any way
301
00:11:32,149 --> 00:11:33,567
we're going to
get our hands
302
00:11:33,609 --> 00:11:34,819
on that
briefcase.
303
00:11:34,860 --> 00:11:36,529
You're right... the
situation's hopeless.
304
00:11:36,570 --> 00:11:37,780
There's no solution.
305
00:11:37,822 --> 00:11:39,490
We're faced with an
absolute impossibility.
306
00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:41,117
In that case, sir,
why don't you tell us
307
00:11:41,117 --> 00:11:42,118
what you've thought of?
308
00:11:42,118 --> 00:11:43,786
All right, here it is.
309
00:11:51,710 --> 00:11:53,379
What do you mean,
he is not in the camp?
310
00:11:53,420 --> 00:11:54,672
We have searched
everywhere.
311
00:11:54,713 --> 00:11:55,840
The man is not
in the camp.
312
00:11:55,881 --> 00:11:57,174
I bet my life on it.
313
00:11:57,216 --> 00:11:58,676
But we found
this parachute.
314
00:11:58,759 --> 00:12:00,302
We know he was here.
315
00:12:00,302 --> 00:12:03,639
Colonel Klink, do you mean
that he escaped from your camp?
316
00:12:03,639 --> 00:12:05,558
Nobody escapes from Stalag 13.
317
00:12:05,599 --> 00:12:08,018
If he's here, he'll be found.
318
00:12:08,060 --> 00:12:09,562
Come in, come in.
319
00:12:09,603 --> 00:12:10,896
Herr Kommandant,
Colonel Hogan
320
00:12:10,938 --> 00:12:12,398
would like to have
a word with you.
321
00:12:12,439 --> 00:12:13,899
What is it, Hogan?
322
00:12:13,941 --> 00:12:15,359
If you don't mind.
323
00:12:15,401 --> 00:12:17,653
He would like to talk to me.
I'm the commandant.
324
00:12:17,653 --> 00:12:19,196
I am the Gestapo!
325
00:12:19,238 --> 00:12:21,282
All right,
tell Major Hochstetter
326
00:12:21,323 --> 00:12:22,658
what you want to say.
327
00:12:22,700 --> 00:12:24,743
It's about the
parachutist. Aha, I knew it!
328
00:12:24,785 --> 00:12:27,246
You were hiding someone.
Where is he?
329
00:12:27,288 --> 00:12:29,415
Go on, tell us right away,
or I'll have you shot.
330
00:12:29,456 --> 00:12:31,792
Major Hochstetter,
331
00:12:31,834 --> 00:12:34,128
you don't have to threaten
Colonel Hogan.
332
00:12:34,169 --> 00:12:37,131
He came here on his own
free will to talk to us.
333
00:12:37,172 --> 00:12:39,633
Bah! These men understand
only force.
334
00:12:39,675 --> 00:12:41,969
Go ahead, Hogan.
335
00:12:42,011 --> 00:12:44,722
Well, it's a matter
of simple logic.
336
00:12:44,763 --> 00:12:47,224
I spent quite a bit of time
figuring it out.
337
00:12:47,266 --> 00:12:50,644
I suddenly realized I could tell
you something about this man.
338
00:12:50,686 --> 00:12:52,104
I never doubted it. Go on.
339
00:12:52,146 --> 00:12:55,024
Well, a man parachutes
into the center of the camp.
340
00:12:55,065 --> 00:12:57,693
Why at this particular time?
341
00:12:57,735 --> 00:13:00,029
Why not before or later?
342
00:13:00,029 --> 00:13:03,824
Just one thing:
Herr Schlager is here.
343
00:13:03,866 --> 00:13:05,200
So I figured
344
00:13:05,242 --> 00:13:11,248
the reason is he wants something
Herr Schlager has.
345
00:13:11,290 --> 00:13:14,918
How's that for logic?
346
00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:17,046
Hogan, go away.
347
00:13:17,046 --> 00:13:19,089
Let me have him
for two hours.
348
00:13:19,131 --> 00:13:21,216
I'll make him talk.
349
00:13:21,258 --> 00:13:22,593
It's easy to get him to talk.
350
00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:24,345
The trouble is
he never says anything.
351
00:13:24,386 --> 00:13:27,056
Gosh, I thought you fellas
would be glad to hear my theory.
352
00:13:27,056 --> 00:13:28,724
We're not interested.
353
00:13:28,724 --> 00:13:30,100
Come in. Come in.
354
00:13:30,142 --> 00:13:32,478
Not now. Go away.
Come back later and clean.
355
00:13:32,519 --> 00:13:34,563
Hogan, I'm the commandant here.
I give the orders.
356
00:13:34,563 --> 00:13:36,190
Sorry, sir.
357
00:13:36,231 --> 00:13:37,566
Go ahead, do the cleaning.
358
00:13:37,566 --> 00:13:39,610
Go ahead, do the
cleaning. Yes, sir!
359
00:13:39,651 --> 00:13:43,280
Oh, just a minute,
just one minute!
360
00:13:43,322 --> 00:13:45,574
I have another theory.
361
00:13:45,574 --> 00:13:47,576
- Never mind, Hogan.
- Dismissed.
362
00:13:47,618 --> 00:13:50,079
Now, this is really
an original idea.
363
00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:52,247
You'll be crazy about it.
We don't want to hear it.
364
00:13:55,459 --> 00:13:57,586
We interrupt this program
365
00:13:57,628 --> 00:13:59,922
to bring you a
special broadcast.
366
00:13:59,922 --> 00:14:03,842
It is forbidden
to turn off your radios.
367
00:14:03,884 --> 00:14:08,764
The next voice you hear
will be the Fuhrer.
368
00:14:08,764 --> 00:14:09,765
The Fuhrer!
369
00:14:09,765 --> 00:14:11,100
Heil!
370
00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:12,601
What's really unusual
about this...
371
00:14:12,643 --> 00:14:14,103
Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh!
372
00:14:31,161 --> 00:14:34,373
Sounds like the same
speech he made last week.
373
00:14:34,456 --> 00:14:36,458
Shh! Shh! Shh!
374
00:14:51,974 --> 00:14:55,060
We will now resume
our regular program.
375
00:14:55,102 --> 00:14:56,228
Heil Hitler.
376
00:14:56,270 --> 00:14:58,772
Heil Hitler.
377
00:14:58,814 --> 00:15:01,441
Ah, it always makes me feel
so much better
378
00:15:01,483 --> 00:15:03,235
after I've heard
the Fuhrer.
379
00:15:03,277 --> 00:15:06,113
Hmm, you had better
start worrying
380
00:15:06,155 --> 00:15:08,240
about what you will hear
from the Fuhrer
381
00:15:08,282 --> 00:15:10,242
if you do not find
the parachutist
382
00:15:10,284 --> 00:15:11,910
that landed
in this camp.
383
00:15:11,952 --> 00:15:13,203
Don't put the blame
on me.
384
00:15:13,245 --> 00:15:15,205
I'm only responsible
for the prisoners.
385
00:15:15,247 --> 00:15:17,749
The Gestapo sees
after the spies.
386
00:15:20,669 --> 00:15:23,255
Fellas! If you don't mind.
387
00:15:23,297 --> 00:15:26,425
I can't stand
family quarrels.
388
00:15:29,511 --> 00:15:30,971
Well, come on,
let's open it,
389
00:15:31,013 --> 00:15:32,723
see what's
so flippin' important.
390
00:15:32,764 --> 00:15:33,974
Yeah. Yeah, I'll force the lock.
391
00:15:34,016 --> 00:15:36,101
Hurry up; the suspense
is killing me.
392
00:15:36,143 --> 00:15:39,771
Hold it, hold it!
393
00:15:39,813 --> 00:15:41,481
Something wrong?
394
00:15:41,523 --> 00:15:43,400
I don't know yet.
395
00:15:48,906 --> 00:15:51,533
Just as I thought.
These locks are phony.
396
00:15:51,575 --> 00:15:53,744
Uh-oh. That's bad.
397
00:15:53,785 --> 00:15:55,746
Why? All it means
is we're not going to have
398
00:15:55,787 --> 00:15:57,414
any trouble
opening the ruddy thing.
399
00:15:57,456 --> 00:15:59,249
All it means is that
they're booby-trapped.
400
00:15:59,291 --> 00:16:01,084
If you tried to force
this thing open,
401
00:16:01,126 --> 00:16:02,878
you would've set off
an explosive charge.
402
00:16:02,961 --> 00:16:04,921
I don't feel too good.
403
00:16:04,963 --> 00:16:08,675
The suspense isn't
killing me anymore.
404
00:16:08,717 --> 00:16:10,636
There is a way to open
it without any danger.
405
00:16:10,677 --> 00:16:12,095
How?
What?
406
00:16:12,137 --> 00:16:13,930
I haven't the slightest
idea what it is,
407
00:16:13,972 --> 00:16:15,599
but we'd better get
it open pretty soon
408
00:16:15,641 --> 00:16:17,017
and find out
what's inside
409
00:16:17,059 --> 00:16:19,353
before that Luftwaffe
plane arrives for Schlager.
410
00:16:21,605 --> 00:16:23,398
What we need for this job
is an expert.
411
00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:26,777
Yeah. Why don't we call
Information?
412
00:16:26,818 --> 00:16:28,779
Kinch, get on the radio
to London.
413
00:16:28,820 --> 00:16:31,615
Tell 'em to put their top
demolition man on the speaker.
414
00:16:31,657 --> 00:16:32,949
Right, Colonel.
415
00:16:32,991 --> 00:16:34,618
Watch it!
Take it easy.
416
00:16:34,660 --> 00:16:35,827
It might be
your turn to go.
417
00:16:35,869 --> 00:16:37,913
You don't have to take us
with you, do you?
418
00:16:40,499 --> 00:16:41,917
All right?
419
00:16:43,835 --> 00:16:45,420
This is Major Blair.
420
00:16:45,420 --> 00:16:46,922
Go ahead, Mama Bear.
421
00:16:46,922 --> 00:16:48,423
Got a little problem here,
Major.
422
00:16:48,423 --> 00:16:49,925
Describe your problem,
Colonel.
423
00:16:49,925 --> 00:16:52,386
It's an attaché case
with a phony lock.
424
00:16:52,427 --> 00:16:55,055
You've got a winner.
What's the hardware like?
425
00:16:55,097 --> 00:16:59,726
Outside of the lock, it, uh,
has two diamond-shaped clasps.
426
00:16:59,768 --> 00:17:01,436
I was afraid of that.
427
00:17:01,436 --> 00:17:04,106
Lost two of my best men
in Munich on that one.
428
00:17:04,147 --> 00:17:05,941
I'd suggest you pass.
429
00:17:05,982 --> 00:17:07,359
No dice.
430
00:17:07,401 --> 00:17:08,610
We have to see
what's inside.
431
00:17:08,610 --> 00:17:10,195
It's important.
432
00:17:10,237 --> 00:17:11,446
Tell me how to open it.
433
00:17:11,488 --> 00:17:12,656
Okay.
434
00:17:12,697 --> 00:17:14,199
But if I hear a loud noise,
435
00:17:14,241 --> 00:17:15,784
I won't bother going on.
436
00:17:15,784 --> 00:17:17,119
Thanks.
437
00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:18,620
All right, stand back,
all of you.
438
00:17:20,789 --> 00:17:21,623
That's an order.
439
00:17:25,836 --> 00:17:26,878
Okay, blast away.
440
00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:28,130
I mean...
441
00:17:28,171 --> 00:17:29,923
go ahead.
442
00:17:29,965 --> 00:17:33,093
The case must be
in an upright position.
443
00:17:33,135 --> 00:17:34,469
Roger.
444
00:17:34,511 --> 00:17:36,805
Once you start working on it,
any other position
445
00:17:36,805 --> 00:17:40,976
releases an acid vial
that'll set off the charge.
446
00:17:40,976 --> 00:17:42,477
Gotcha.
447
00:17:42,519 --> 00:17:45,814
Move the lever under the handle
to the right.
448
00:17:49,401 --> 00:17:50,360
Uh-huh.
449
00:17:50,402 --> 00:17:52,237
Now slide the diamond clasps
450
00:17:52,279 --> 00:17:54,823
at the same time
to the outer edge.
451
00:17:56,825 --> 00:18:00,537
Remember,
exactly at the same time.
452
00:18:14,301 --> 00:18:15,760
So far, so good.
453
00:18:15,802 --> 00:18:16,803
Go ahead.
454
00:18:16,845 --> 00:18:18,972
Now pull the handle straight up
455
00:18:19,014 --> 00:18:20,724
with an even tension.
456
00:18:31,234 --> 00:18:32,235
Okay.
457
00:18:32,277 --> 00:18:34,487
Now comes the tricky part.
458
00:18:34,529 --> 00:18:36,406
There are two models:
459
00:18:36,448 --> 00:18:38,909
One, you turn the handle
clockwise,
460
00:18:38,950 --> 00:18:42,787
and the other, you turn it
counterclockwise.
461
00:18:42,829 --> 00:18:44,706
Which one's this?
462
00:18:44,748 --> 00:18:46,041
There's no way of telling.
463
00:18:46,082 --> 00:18:47,250
Take your choice.
464
00:18:47,292 --> 00:18:48,543
But not to worry...
465
00:18:48,585 --> 00:18:51,046
If you made a mistake,
you'll never know it.
466
00:18:55,592 --> 00:18:57,761
Get back, huh?
467
00:19:00,597 --> 00:19:02,307
That's a direct order.
468
00:19:25,622 --> 00:19:27,582
Counterclockwise?
469
00:19:27,624 --> 00:19:30,085
Roger.
470
00:19:30,126 --> 00:19:31,586
You've done it. Good show.
471
00:19:31,628 --> 00:19:34,464
Now the charge is disarmed.
There's no danger.
472
00:19:34,506 --> 00:19:37,258
It was a pleasure
doing business with you.
473
00:19:37,258 --> 00:19:39,177
Over and out.
474
00:19:42,263 --> 00:19:43,848
Oh, wow.
475
00:19:43,890 --> 00:19:44,641
Oh, blimey.
476
00:19:46,601 --> 00:19:48,144
American money!
477
00:19:48,186 --> 00:19:49,938
Ten-dollar bills!
478
00:19:49,979 --> 00:19:52,315
This is what's
so important?
479
00:19:52,357 --> 00:19:53,775
No, it was this.
480
00:19:53,817 --> 00:19:55,110
The Nazis have
gone in business
481
00:19:55,151 --> 00:19:57,445
for themselves,
making American money.
482
00:19:57,487 --> 00:19:59,781
It's just
about perfect.
483
00:19:59,823 --> 00:20:02,117
Nobody would suspect
it's counterfeit.
484
00:20:02,158 --> 00:20:05,286
Whoever engraved
this is a genius.
485
00:20:05,328 --> 00:20:06,538
That means they could flood
486
00:20:06,579 --> 00:20:08,248
all the neutral countries
with this money.
487
00:20:08,289 --> 00:20:10,458
It's like having your
own key to Fort Knox.
488
00:20:10,500 --> 00:20:11,793
Well, let's smash
the plates.
489
00:20:11,793 --> 00:20:14,462
No, the engraver'd
only make another set.
490
00:20:14,504 --> 00:20:15,630
Kinch...
Yeah.
491
00:20:15,630 --> 00:20:18,758
Do you have some tools
with a fine edge?
492
00:20:21,344 --> 00:20:23,304
Yeah, that's it.
493
00:20:23,346 --> 00:20:24,305
Give it a try.
494
00:20:30,061 --> 00:20:32,814
Paper.
495
00:20:43,950 --> 00:20:46,411
Mm-hmm.
496
00:20:46,453 --> 00:20:48,413
Now, that's what I
call a work of art.
497
00:20:48,455 --> 00:20:49,831
LeBEAU:
Exquisite.
498
00:20:49,831 --> 00:20:52,083
Yep. If the Nazis
are passing it,
499
00:20:52,125 --> 00:20:54,586
I feel it's only fair
they get credit for it.
500
00:20:54,627 --> 00:20:56,212
I didn't know you were
an artist, Colonel.
501
00:20:56,254 --> 00:20:58,047
Yeah, when I was a kid,
I used to practice
502
00:20:58,089 --> 00:20:59,632
on billboards and posters.
503
00:20:59,674 --> 00:21:02,135
All right, Newkirk,
clean off those plates.
504
00:21:02,177 --> 00:21:05,096
Let's get the briefcase
back into Klink's safe.
505
00:21:08,016 --> 00:21:10,476
Newkirk, go to
the kitchen,
506
00:21:10,518 --> 00:21:11,728
get some sandwiches
and coffee
507
00:21:11,769 --> 00:21:13,146
and bring it to
the tower guards.
508
00:21:13,188 --> 00:21:14,981
Not Newkirk. I'll send one
of the others...
509
00:21:15,023 --> 00:21:16,107
Hold it,
Colonel Hogan!
510
00:21:16,149 --> 00:21:17,233
You don't send,
I send.
511
00:21:17,275 --> 00:21:18,776
Come on, let's...
let's go.
512
00:21:18,818 --> 00:21:20,695
Listen, Newkirk,
now, hold it!
513
00:21:20,737 --> 00:21:22,113
No back talk!
514
00:21:22,155 --> 00:21:24,240
That's great. That's great.
515
00:21:24,282 --> 00:21:25,450
Newkirk's the only one
516
00:21:25,491 --> 00:21:27,118
who has the combination
to the safe memorized.
517
00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:28,203
There's a copy
in the tunnel, Colonel.
518
00:21:28,244 --> 00:21:29,204
I'll go get it.
519
00:21:29,245 --> 00:21:30,705
Forget it. No time.
520
00:21:30,705 --> 00:21:31,789
Schlager's plane's here.
521
00:21:34,459 --> 00:21:36,628
No monkey
business with me.
522
00:21:36,669 --> 00:21:38,421
When I give an order,
it's an order.
523
00:21:38,463 --> 00:21:39,839
When I give an order
to a prisoner,
524
00:21:39,881 --> 00:21:41,382
it's a command,
do you understand?
525
00:21:41,424 --> 00:21:42,717
I know, Schultz.
526
00:21:42,759 --> 00:21:44,177
That's why they made you
a sergeant
527
00:21:44,219 --> 00:21:45,595
after only 12 years
in the army.
528
00:21:45,637 --> 00:21:46,888
Oh, no.
"Oh, no" what?
529
00:21:46,888 --> 00:21:48,306
Uh, Schultz,
let me tell you a story.
530
00:21:48,348 --> 00:21:49,933
No, don't tell me any story.
What is this?
531
00:21:49,974 --> 00:21:51,184
It's a very simple
story, Schultz.
532
00:21:51,226 --> 00:21:52,602
What is it you saw
over there?
533
00:21:52,644 --> 00:21:53,645
Nothing.
534
00:21:53,686 --> 00:21:55,063
What did you see
over there? What?
535
00:21:55,104 --> 00:21:56,397
Nothing, Schultz!
Nothing!
536
00:21:56,397 --> 00:21:58,399
Colonel Hogan, I know
exactly when you are lying.
537
00:21:58,441 --> 00:22:00,485
What did you see
over there? What...?
538
00:22:00,526 --> 00:22:02,028
Uh-huh.
539
00:22:02,070 --> 00:22:03,780
It was a parachutist.
540
00:22:04,113 --> 00:22:05,406
Oh...
541
00:22:05,406 --> 00:22:07,241
Which way did he go?
542
00:22:07,283 --> 00:22:09,160
Where?
543
00:22:14,123 --> 00:22:15,541
Colonel Hogan...
544
00:22:15,583 --> 00:22:17,293
Hold it! Separate!
545
00:22:17,335 --> 00:22:18,294
No talking!
546
00:22:18,336 --> 00:22:19,379
You understand?
547
00:22:19,420 --> 00:22:20,755
Colonel Hogan, let's go.
548
00:22:20,797 --> 00:22:22,674
This has to be reported
to Commandant Klink.
549
00:22:22,715 --> 00:22:24,092
All right, Schultz,
but nothing's
550
00:22:24,133 --> 00:22:26,219
going to make me betray
a fellow American.
551
00:22:26,260 --> 00:22:28,596
Aha! It was an American.
552
00:22:28,596 --> 00:22:30,139
You let that slip out.
553
00:22:30,181 --> 00:22:31,182
Darn it.
554
00:22:31,224 --> 00:22:32,433
Let's go
to the commandant.
555
00:22:32,475 --> 00:22:35,353
And one, two, three,
four, one...
556
00:22:35,395 --> 00:22:37,772
I would not come here and
disturb you, Herr Kommandant,
557
00:22:37,814 --> 00:22:41,776
if it would not be a matter
of greatest importance.
558
00:22:41,818 --> 00:22:44,737
What I have to say...
It is so important...
559
00:22:44,779 --> 00:22:46,906
If it's so important,
get to the point.
560
00:22:46,948 --> 00:22:48,950
Jawohl.
561
00:22:52,787 --> 00:22:56,749
Herr Kommandant, Colonel Hogan
and I... we saw the parachutist.
562
00:22:56,791 --> 00:22:58,543
Are you sure?
563
00:22:58,584 --> 00:23:01,045
Yes, Herr Kommandant,
we saw him with our own eyes.
564
00:23:01,087 --> 00:23:03,464
It was an American.
565
00:23:03,506 --> 00:23:05,049
That man must be caught!
566
00:23:05,091 --> 00:23:07,593
I'd say he's gotten what he
came for and is gone already.
567
00:23:07,635 --> 00:23:09,137
The briefcase!
568
00:23:09,137 --> 00:23:10,471
Oh, it's in the safe.
569
00:23:10,471 --> 00:23:11,472
Want to bet?
570
00:23:11,472 --> 00:23:13,641
But we were here
all the time.
571
00:23:13,683 --> 00:23:14,934
I'd say any man
who can drop
572
00:23:14,976 --> 00:23:16,227
in the middle of
a prison camp
573
00:23:16,269 --> 00:23:17,603
and keep 100 men
from finding him
574
00:23:17,645 --> 00:23:18,980
can do most anything.
575
00:23:18,980 --> 00:23:20,982
Colonel Klink, open the safe.
576
00:23:20,982 --> 00:23:23,151
I want to see that briefcase
with my own eyes.
577
00:23:23,192 --> 00:23:24,944
All right, all right,
Herr Schlager,
578
00:23:24,986 --> 00:23:26,988
if it means that
much to you.
579
00:23:31,868 --> 00:23:34,203
- He's blown a live grenade!
- Run for your lives!
580
00:23:34,245 --> 00:23:35,621
Grenade? Let me out!
581
00:23:44,255 --> 00:23:47,049
False alarm! False alarm!
582
00:23:47,091 --> 00:23:48,885
What? False alarm, Commandant.
583
00:23:48,926 --> 00:23:51,554
- It's safe.
- What do you mean, safe?
584
00:23:51,596 --> 00:23:52,889
Must be a dud.
585
00:23:52,930 --> 00:23:55,725
That parachutist,
he is an idiot.
586
00:23:55,766 --> 00:23:58,060
He didn't even pull
the pin.
587
00:23:58,102 --> 00:23:59,562
Aw, you don't understand.
588
00:23:59,604 --> 00:24:02,523
The Allies are trying to win
the war without violence.
589
00:24:09,071 --> 00:24:11,115
Hogan, I want you to know that
I'm not through with you yet.
590
00:24:11,157 --> 00:24:12,366
Why bother with me?
591
00:24:12,408 --> 00:24:14,327
Schlager's off to Berlin
with his briefcase.
592
00:24:14,368 --> 00:24:15,578
Your worries are over.
593
00:24:15,620 --> 00:24:16,913
But yours aren't.
594
00:24:16,954 --> 00:24:18,372
There's something
very fishy
595
00:24:18,456 --> 00:24:19,916
about the way
you've been acting.
596
00:24:19,957 --> 00:24:22,043
And when I find
that parachutist of yours,
597
00:24:22,043 --> 00:24:23,753
it'll be the cooler
for everybody.
598
00:24:23,794 --> 00:24:26,214
You're wasting your time looking
for an American, you know.
599
00:24:26,255 --> 00:24:27,215
What do you mean?
600
00:24:27,256 --> 00:24:29,592
This parachute.
601
00:24:29,634 --> 00:24:33,095
"Made in Berlin."
602
00:24:33,137 --> 00:24:35,932
Mm-hmm, yeah, you're
going to look pretty foolish
603
00:24:35,973 --> 00:24:37,225
when this gets
out, Commandant.
604
00:24:37,266 --> 00:24:39,227
Hogan, you're not
to mention this to anybody.
605
00:24:39,268 --> 00:24:40,561
That's an order!
606
00:24:40,561 --> 00:24:41,896
An order?
607
00:24:41,938 --> 00:24:43,397
A request?
608
00:24:43,397 --> 00:24:45,733
A request?
609
00:24:45,733 --> 00:24:47,526
A suggestion?
610
00:24:47,568 --> 00:24:49,654
A suggestion?
611
00:24:49,695 --> 00:24:51,989
Please?
42279
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