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1
00:00:55,097 --> 00:00:56,598
It's going
to snow again.
2
00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:59,851
The weather is getting
a little nippy.
3
00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:01,853
Yes, good thing
the mail arrived.
4
00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:04,356
Why? Are you expecting
any warm clothing?
5
00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:05,565
No, I use
the letters
6
00:01:05,607 --> 00:01:07,484
to cover the holes
in my underwear.
7
00:01:07,526 --> 00:01:09,361
I could use a few
letters myself.
8
00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:10,821
Yeah, in your
case, Schultz,
9
00:01:10,821 --> 00:01:13,323
you'd need the New York
Times, Sunday edition.
10
00:01:13,365 --> 00:01:14,992
Gentlemen.
11
00:01:15,033 --> 00:01:17,995
Gentlemen,
what is your pleasure?
12
00:01:18,036 --> 00:01:20,539
Okay, fellows, time
for an eggplant break.
13
00:01:20,580 --> 00:01:22,749
Nein, nein, nein,
nein, nein, nein.
14
00:01:22,791 --> 00:01:23,750
Verboten.
15
00:01:23,792 --> 00:01:25,419
It's against regulation.
16
00:01:25,460 --> 00:01:27,462
But Schultz, if you
don't let him in,
17
00:01:27,504 --> 00:01:29,006
we can't buy
his vegetables.
18
00:01:29,047 --> 00:01:30,924
And if we don't
buy his vegetables,
19
00:01:30,966 --> 00:01:32,801
he doesn't buy from the farmers.
20
00:01:32,843 --> 00:01:36,221
The farmer has no one to sell
to, he stops planting crops.
21
00:01:36,263 --> 00:01:37,973
Without crops, there's no food.
22
00:01:38,015 --> 00:01:39,933
And without food,
the army starves.
23
00:01:40,017 --> 00:01:41,852
You see, Schultz,
24
00:01:41,893 --> 00:01:43,478
if you don't let him
in the front gate,
25
00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:44,688
you're going to blow
World War II.
26
00:01:44,730 --> 00:01:46,189
All right.
27
00:01:47,482 --> 00:01:48,442
Ah, that's it.
28
00:01:48,483 --> 00:01:49,484
You're a good old boy.
29
00:01:50,694 --> 00:01:51,778
Hey, you're
a good one.
30
00:01:51,987 --> 00:01:52,988
Here we go.
31
00:01:53,029 --> 00:01:53,989
Come on.
32
00:01:54,030 --> 00:01:55,282
Come on in,
then.
33
00:01:55,323 --> 00:01:56,533
We'll help you.
34
00:01:56,575 --> 00:02:00,078
It's cucumbers,
tomatoes...
35
00:02:02,330 --> 00:02:04,791
I'll have
a tomato.
36
00:02:04,833 --> 00:02:06,668
I'll take two tomatoes.
37
00:02:06,710 --> 00:02:07,878
Yes, certainly, yes.
38
00:02:07,919 --> 00:02:09,296
Um...
39
00:02:09,337 --> 00:02:12,674
Cucumbers,
tomatoes...
40
00:02:12,716 --> 00:02:14,217
Oh, I'll have
this cucumber.
41
00:02:14,301 --> 00:02:15,635
Carter, that's
a little small.
42
00:02:15,677 --> 00:02:16,678
Here, take
the big one.
43
00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:17,763
I'll take
the little one.
44
00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:18,847
Oh no,
it's fine, sir.
45
00:02:18,889 --> 00:02:20,891
Carter, I think I'd better
have that cucumber.
46
00:02:20,932 --> 00:02:22,350
Oh, no, sir, you
take the big one.
47
00:02:22,392 --> 00:02:23,351
But Carter...
48
00:02:23,393 --> 00:02:24,728
This is fine...
49
00:02:24,728 --> 00:02:25,812
What kind
of crazy cucumb...
50
00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:31,109
I told you I should
have this one.
51
00:02:31,234 --> 00:02:33,236
Some celery...
52
00:02:33,236 --> 00:02:35,280
Production figures
for the Luftwaffe.
53
00:02:35,322 --> 00:02:36,448
Some cucumber.
54
00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:38,992
Get this to the underground
after roll call.
55
00:02:39,034 --> 00:02:39,743
Right, Colonel.
56
00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:43,455
Schultz!
57
00:02:43,705 --> 00:02:45,582
Schultz!
58
00:02:45,582 --> 00:02:46,833
What is going on here?
59
00:02:46,875 --> 00:02:48,084
Herr Kommandant,
60
00:02:48,084 --> 00:02:50,253
we are saving the German
army from starvation.
61
00:02:50,295 --> 00:02:51,296
What?
62
00:02:51,338 --> 00:02:52,464
You see,
Herr Kommandant,
63
00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:54,549
if the prisoners do
not buy from this man,
64
00:02:54,591 --> 00:02:56,760
this man is not going
to buy from the farmers,
65
00:02:56,801 --> 00:02:58,929
the farmers are not
going to do any planting,
66
00:02:58,970 --> 00:03:00,430
and if the farmers
do not do any...
67
00:03:00,722 --> 00:03:01,681
Schultz!
68
00:03:01,723 --> 00:03:03,266
Throw that
peddler out.
69
00:03:03,266 --> 00:03:04,267
Jawohl,
Herr Kommandant.
70
00:03:06,728 --> 00:03:08,688
Ich geh schon, ich geh schon.
71
00:03:08,730 --> 00:03:09,773
Geh schon.
72
00:03:09,814 --> 00:03:12,234
No one goes in and out
of here today
73
00:03:12,275 --> 00:03:13,568
without my permission.
74
00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:15,904
Sounds like we're
going to have company.
75
00:03:15,946 --> 00:03:18,740
Is it Two-Ton Herman or
the little sign painter?
76
00:03:18,782 --> 00:03:22,285
Hogan, it is not the
Führer or Marshal Göring.
77
00:03:22,285 --> 00:03:25,205
Don't tell me it's Himmler
with the laughing face.
78
00:03:25,247 --> 00:03:26,498
We are honored tomorrow
79
00:03:26,539 --> 00:03:28,708
by the presence
of Field Marshal Kesselring.
80
00:03:28,750 --> 00:03:31,127
He's coming through here
on his way to Berchtesgaden.
81
00:03:40,595 --> 00:03:42,472
Ah, Major Feldkamp,
very good to see you.
82
00:03:42,472 --> 00:03:44,140
Klink, what are
these prisoners doing
83
00:03:44,182 --> 00:03:45,141
here at the gate?
84
00:03:45,183 --> 00:03:46,768
Oh, they're here
on a work detail.
85
00:03:46,810 --> 00:03:48,270
You see, it's the maid's day off
86
00:03:48,311 --> 00:03:50,480
and we thought with
the field marshal coming...
87
00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:52,023
Are there any other
state secrets
88
00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:53,984
that you think the
prisoners should have?
89
00:03:54,025 --> 00:03:55,652
Major Feldkamp,
I assure you...
90
00:03:55,652 --> 00:03:57,320
Why don't you give
them the plans
91
00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:59,155
of the Normandy
fortification, hmm?
92
00:03:59,197 --> 00:04:01,449
Thanks, anyway, Major,
but we already have those.
93
00:04:02,450 --> 00:04:03,660
Hogan!
94
00:04:03,660 --> 00:04:05,161
Confine these prisoners
to barracks
95
00:04:05,203 --> 00:04:06,162
and double the guards.
96
00:04:06,204 --> 00:04:08,081
Confine these prisoners
to barracks
97
00:04:08,123 --> 00:04:09,374
and double
the guards.
98
00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:11,001
I confine you to the barracks
99
00:04:11,001 --> 00:04:12,419
and I double
the guards.
100
00:04:12,460 --> 00:04:13,294
Raus!
101
00:04:19,175 --> 00:04:21,136
How do I get this
to the underground now?
102
00:04:21,177 --> 00:04:22,721
I suggest you consult
with the chaplain.
103
00:04:36,151 --> 00:04:37,610
I got an idea.
104
00:04:38,862 --> 00:04:40,655
We sneak into
Klink's quarters.
105
00:04:40,697 --> 00:04:41,990
Now, we got
the figures
106
00:04:42,032 --> 00:04:43,742
on the Luftwaffe's
production.
107
00:04:43,783 --> 00:04:45,660
We slip it into
his bathing suit
108
00:04:45,702 --> 00:04:46,870
and we very
carefully
109
00:04:46,870 --> 00:04:48,413
sort of cut
the drawstring.
110
00:04:48,455 --> 00:04:50,123
Then when he goes
for a swim
111
00:04:50,165 --> 00:04:51,624
and he dives
in the water,
112
00:04:51,666 --> 00:04:54,294
the drawstring breaks,
his trunks float away,
113
00:04:54,335 --> 00:04:57,756
and we've got another underground
agent waiting downstream.
114
00:04:57,797 --> 00:04:59,716
You have gone
crackers.
115
00:04:59,758 --> 00:05:02,010
Well, I just
wanted to see
116
00:05:02,052 --> 00:05:05,180
if anybody was
paying attention.
117
00:05:05,221 --> 00:05:06,514
I'm almost
desperate enough
118
00:05:06,598 --> 00:05:07,724
to go with the plan.
119
00:05:07,766 --> 00:05:09,058
I say we slip
the message
120
00:05:09,100 --> 00:05:10,727
into one of
the dog's collars,
121
00:05:10,727 --> 00:05:12,937
round up some fleas,
put them on the dog.
122
00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:14,898
They'll send him
to a veterinarian,
123
00:05:14,898 --> 00:05:17,776
and we have an agent waiting
at the doctor's office.
124
00:05:17,817 --> 00:05:21,154
I think I liked the
bathing suit plan better.
125
00:05:27,243 --> 00:05:29,412
Come back later,
Schultz, we're busy.
126
00:05:29,412 --> 00:05:31,164
Just a moment,
Colonel Hogan.
127
00:05:31,206 --> 00:05:33,708
I'm inviting your men
to a cocktail party.
128
00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:36,044
Is that the bash for
Field Marshal Kesselring?
129
00:05:36,085 --> 00:05:37,378
That's correct.
130
00:05:37,420 --> 00:05:40,256
What time you sending the
car around for us, Schultzy?
131
00:05:40,298 --> 00:05:41,800
Boy, I hope
it's not formal,
132
00:05:41,841 --> 00:05:43,927
because this is the
only outfit I have.
133
00:05:43,927 --> 00:05:46,262
Don't worry
about your outfit.
134
00:05:46,304 --> 00:05:49,474
You are all going
to wear white jackets.
135
00:05:49,516 --> 00:05:51,309
What, the old busboy
routine again?
136
00:05:51,392 --> 00:05:53,061
Well, you can tell
Klink I'm out.
137
00:05:53,102 --> 00:05:55,480
And I'm not going to be
a waiter again either.
138
00:05:55,522 --> 00:05:58,024
And you can get yourself
another bartender.
139
00:05:58,066 --> 00:06:00,068
Oh, come on,
you're going to spoil
140
00:06:00,109 --> 00:06:02,028
Kommandant Klink's
whole evening.
141
00:06:02,070 --> 00:06:05,073
He planned a cocktail party
for Marshal Kesselring
142
00:06:05,114 --> 00:06:07,450
in his quarters,
and then a dinner party
143
00:06:07,450 --> 00:06:09,035
in town at the Hauserhof.
144
00:06:09,077 --> 00:06:10,036
If we don't get to go
145
00:06:10,078 --> 00:06:11,079
to the dinner,
Schultz, forget it.
146
00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:14,290
Oh, Colonel Hogan,
please talk to the men.
147
00:06:14,290 --> 00:06:15,625
Now, wait a minute, fellows.
148
00:06:15,667 --> 00:06:17,377
You shouldn't let
Colonel Klink down.
149
00:06:17,418 --> 00:06:19,754
After all, he's done a lot
of nice things for us.
150
00:06:19,796 --> 00:06:20,880
Yeah, you're right.
151
00:06:20,922 --> 00:06:23,258
I haven't thanked him
yet for my scurvy.
152
00:06:23,299 --> 00:06:24,676
How about you, LeBeau?
153
00:06:24,717 --> 00:06:27,971
Are you going to make those
little hors d'oeuvres, eh?
154
00:06:28,012 --> 00:06:29,305
For the party?
155
00:06:29,347 --> 00:06:30,306
Of course.
156
00:06:30,306 --> 00:06:31,474
Oh, good.
157
00:06:31,474 --> 00:06:33,643
And Klink will serve me
breakfast in bed
158
00:06:33,685 --> 00:06:34,269
on Bastille Day.
159
00:06:34,310 --> 00:06:36,563
LeBeau!
160
00:06:36,604 --> 00:06:38,106
Turnabout's fair play.
161
00:06:38,147 --> 00:06:40,817
Please, Colonel Hogan,
tell them.
162
00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:43,486
All right, Schultz,
but in private.
163
00:06:43,528 --> 00:06:44,529
I hear nothing!
164
00:06:47,156 --> 00:06:49,617
Adolf Hitler wears
clip-on bow ties.
165
00:06:49,659 --> 00:06:51,202
What did you
say, Kinch?
166
00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:52,495
Just testing, Schultz.
167
00:06:58,751 --> 00:06:59,919
This may be a way
168
00:06:59,961 --> 00:07:02,005
to get that paper
to the underground.
169
00:07:02,046 --> 00:07:04,132
But we're not going
to the Hauserhof.
170
00:07:04,173 --> 00:07:05,842
I know,
but Klink is.
171
00:07:05,883 --> 00:07:08,594
We could use him
as the courier.
172
00:07:08,636 --> 00:07:10,805
But Major Feldkamp,
I don't understand you.
173
00:07:10,847 --> 00:07:13,182
Why invite Colonel Hogan
to a cocktail party?
174
00:07:13,182 --> 00:07:15,685
I thought you were afraid
of giving him secrets.
175
00:07:15,685 --> 00:07:18,146
I thought it would be
nice for a change
176
00:07:18,187 --> 00:07:20,189
if we got some
secrets from him.
177
00:07:20,231 --> 00:07:21,983
But we've never
been able to before.
178
00:07:22,025 --> 00:07:24,861
A change of atmosphere,
a few glasses of schnapps
179
00:07:24,861 --> 00:07:26,321
might loosen his tongue.
180
00:07:26,362 --> 00:07:28,698
Very clever...
It's always loosened mine.
181
00:07:28,740 --> 00:07:30,033
Ja.
182
00:07:30,074 --> 00:07:32,076
We have all that
in your bulging dossier.
183
00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:33,745
Well, that's not
what I meant, I...
184
00:07:33,786 --> 00:07:36,372
Just see that
Colonel Hogan is there.
185
00:07:36,414 --> 00:07:40,001
I've sent Sergeant Schultz
with a personal invitation.
186
00:07:40,043 --> 00:07:42,045
Any idea how we can
plant the paper on Klink?
187
00:07:42,086 --> 00:07:43,838
In his belt.
188
00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:45,048
That may be
difficult.
189
00:07:45,048 --> 00:07:46,466
Not if we switch belts.
190
00:07:46,507 --> 00:07:49,552
Carter, you think you can
duplicate Klink's belt?
191
00:07:49,552 --> 00:07:51,012
Oh, I don't have any leather.
192
00:07:51,054 --> 00:07:52,388
I used the last piece I had
193
00:07:52,388 --> 00:07:54,849
to make a carrying case
for my Dear John letters.
194
00:07:54,891 --> 00:07:58,061
No problem, for Newkirk.
195
00:07:58,061 --> 00:08:00,772
Hey, uh, Schultz,
got good news for you.
196
00:08:00,813 --> 00:08:01,773
Huh?
197
00:08:01,814 --> 00:08:03,024
I've got good
news for you.
198
00:08:03,066 --> 00:08:04,859
Oh, they're going
to serve at the party?
199
00:08:04,901 --> 00:08:05,860
That's right.
200
00:08:07,570 --> 00:08:09,113
Thank you.
201
00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:10,198
Thank you very much.
202
00:08:10,239 --> 00:08:11,324
Thank you very much.
203
00:08:11,365 --> 00:08:13,242
LeBEAU: What time
shall we be there?
204
00:08:13,242 --> 00:08:14,243
What?
205
00:08:14,285 --> 00:08:15,453
What time shall
we be there?
206
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:16,579
At 6:00.
207
00:08:16,621 --> 00:08:19,123
Yeah, well, tell Klink to
start icing the champagne.
208
00:08:19,165 --> 00:08:20,750
Oh, that's wonderful,
wonderful.
209
00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:23,252
Thank you from the bottom
of Marshal Kesselring's heart.
210
00:08:24,921 --> 00:08:26,631
So long, Schultz.
211
00:08:26,672 --> 00:08:27,673
Ta-dah!
212
00:08:27,715 --> 00:08:28,424
No problem,
Colonel.
213
00:08:28,758 --> 00:08:29,509
Great.
214
00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:31,260
Hey, hey!
215
00:08:32,762 --> 00:08:34,555
Excuse me, did...
216
00:08:34,597 --> 00:08:37,266
did anybody see my belt?
217
00:08:37,308 --> 00:08:39,936
No, I was surprised when you
came in without it, Schultz.
218
00:08:39,936 --> 00:08:42,730
But don't worry, we won't tell
Klink you were out of uniform.
219
00:08:42,772 --> 00:08:44,524
Thank you, Colonel Hogan.
220
00:08:44,565 --> 00:08:48,611
Funny, I could have sworn
I was wearing it when I came in.
221
00:08:48,653 --> 00:08:50,613
Must have lost it,
Schultz.
222
00:08:50,613 --> 00:08:52,114
Hey, just
be grateful
223
00:08:52,114 --> 00:08:54,283
it wasn't holding
up your trousers.
224
00:08:58,579 --> 00:08:59,747
Ta-dah!
225
00:09:08,464 --> 00:09:09,465
Oh, beautiful.
226
00:09:09,465 --> 00:09:10,842
Thank you,
Herr Kommandant.
227
00:09:20,768 --> 00:09:22,186
Uh, uh, uh, Schultz.
228
00:09:22,228 --> 00:09:23,813
This is for
the brass.
229
00:09:23,813 --> 00:09:24,814
Schultz.
230
00:09:24,855 --> 00:09:26,816
Herr Kommandant,
I came to tell you
231
00:09:26,816 --> 00:09:28,234
that all
security measures
232
00:09:28,276 --> 00:09:30,570
for Marshal Kesselring
have been taken.
233
00:09:30,611 --> 00:09:31,779
What he really
came for
234
00:09:31,821 --> 00:09:33,823
is to swipe a few of
the hors d'oeuvres.
235
00:09:33,864 --> 00:09:34,865
That's not true.
236
00:09:34,907 --> 00:09:37,243
I had a lovely dinner
at the mess hall.
237
00:09:37,285 --> 00:09:40,496
Schultz, please, help yourself
to the hors d'oeuvres.
238
00:09:40,496 --> 00:09:41,497
Herr Kommandant...
239
00:09:41,497 --> 00:09:42,665
Quiet, Cockroach.
240
00:09:42,707 --> 00:09:45,251
You mean it,
Herr Kommandant?
241
00:09:45,293 --> 00:09:46,669
Why, of course.
242
00:09:46,669 --> 00:09:49,922
Class distinction between
officers and unlisted men
243
00:09:49,964 --> 00:09:51,340
is old-fashioned.
244
00:09:51,382 --> 00:09:54,343
We're all in this together,
comrades-in-arms,
245
00:09:54,343 --> 00:09:56,178
fighting for
the fatherland.
246
00:09:56,178 --> 00:09:59,557
How's it going?
247
00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:03,561
Do you feel anything
cutting your gums, huh?
248
00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:04,687
Any nausea?
249
00:10:04,687 --> 00:10:05,771
Dizziness?
250
00:10:05,813 --> 00:10:07,106
Double vision?
251
00:10:07,148 --> 00:10:09,358
How many fingers
do I have?
252
00:10:09,358 --> 00:10:11,569
You're using him
as a food taster.
253
00:10:11,610 --> 00:10:12,611
I'm shocked!
254
00:10:12,653 --> 00:10:13,946
T-T-That's all right.
255
00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:15,489
Let him do it.
256
00:10:15,531 --> 00:10:16,991
I'll show you,
Herr Kommandant,
257
00:10:17,033 --> 00:10:18,409
there's nothing
to worry about.
258
00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:19,952
Have some stuffed eggs, Colonel.
259
00:10:19,994 --> 00:10:20,995
Oh, thank you.
260
00:10:23,664 --> 00:10:24,790
You see,
Herr Kommandant,
261
00:10:24,832 --> 00:10:26,625
there's no poison in
the hors d'oeuvres.
262
00:10:26,667 --> 00:10:28,753
And no hors d'oeuvres
in the hors d'oeuvres.
263
00:10:28,794 --> 00:10:30,588
Well, I have another
tray in the kitchen
264
00:10:30,629 --> 00:10:31,922
if you want to
take a chance.
265
00:10:31,964 --> 00:10:33,632
Then go out and get
one, Cockroach.
266
00:10:33,674 --> 00:10:34,925
Herr Kommandant,
I go, too,
267
00:10:34,967 --> 00:10:37,928
to see there is no
funny business going on.
268
00:10:37,970 --> 00:10:39,764
Um, am I
the first, sir?
269
00:10:39,805 --> 00:10:41,640
I don't want you
to cause any trouble
270
00:10:41,682 --> 00:10:43,684
while Field Marshal
Kesselring is here.
271
00:10:43,726 --> 00:10:44,727
It'll mean the cooler.
272
00:10:44,769 --> 00:10:45,770
Me, cause trouble?
273
00:10:45,811 --> 00:10:47,271
And none of your
jokes, Hogan.
274
00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:49,315
The Field Marshal
has no sense of humor.
275
00:10:49,357 --> 00:10:50,483
I wouldn't say that.
276
00:10:50,524 --> 00:10:53,110
He's got some pretty funny
planes in the Luftwaffe.
277
00:10:53,194 --> 00:10:54,570
What are you
saying, Hogan?
278
00:10:54,612 --> 00:10:56,364
Well, take
the Messerschmitt 110...
279
00:10:56,405 --> 00:10:58,449
Has no maneuverability
with a bomb load,
280
00:10:58,491 --> 00:10:59,909
and that's just
for openers.
281
00:10:59,950 --> 00:11:01,827
Yeah, it's only good
as a fighter.
282
00:11:01,869 --> 00:11:03,788
I don't want you to
mention one word of this
283
00:11:03,829 --> 00:11:07,416
in front of
the field marshal.
284
00:11:07,416 --> 00:11:10,419
And the ME-109...
It has no air brakes.
285
00:11:10,419 --> 00:11:12,338
It's no good as an escort.
286
00:11:12,379 --> 00:11:13,756
No?!
287
00:11:13,756 --> 00:11:15,424
They're no match
for our planes,
288
00:11:15,424 --> 00:11:16,467
that's for sure.
289
00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:18,803
Kesselring selected
those planes personally.
290
00:11:18,844 --> 00:11:21,222
And you said he didn't
have a sense of humor?
291
00:11:21,263 --> 00:11:22,264
Hogan, I order you
292
00:11:22,264 --> 00:11:23,849
not to mention
one word of this
293
00:11:23,891 --> 00:11:25,518
while the field
marshal is here.
294
00:11:25,559 --> 00:11:27,269
Relax, Colonel,
it's our secret.
295
00:11:27,269 --> 00:11:28,270
Achtung.
296
00:11:35,361 --> 00:11:37,613
Ah, welcome, Field
Marshal Messerschmitt.
297
00:11:37,613 --> 00:11:38,614
Kesselring.
298
00:11:38,614 --> 00:11:39,615
Kesselring.
299
00:11:39,615 --> 00:11:41,867
Nice to see you
again, Colonel Klink.
300
00:11:41,909 --> 00:11:42,952
Thank you, sir.
301
00:11:42,952 --> 00:11:45,287
May I present
Colonel Hogan.
302
00:11:45,287 --> 00:11:46,288
Colonel.
303
00:11:46,288 --> 00:11:47,289
Fräulein Ziegler,
304
00:11:47,289 --> 00:11:48,582
Colonel Klink,
Colonel Hogan.
305
00:11:48,624 --> 00:11:50,376
Sir, would you care for
some hors d'oeuvres?
306
00:11:50,626 --> 00:11:51,126
Thank you.
307
00:11:54,713 --> 00:11:56,799
We switched the belt
on old Klink's coat.
308
00:11:56,841 --> 00:11:57,800
Good.
309
00:11:57,800 --> 00:11:58,634
Mmm.
310
00:12:03,848 --> 00:12:05,140
Ah, Colonel Hogan.
311
00:12:05,182 --> 00:12:07,309
The Field Marshal
and I were having
312
00:12:07,351 --> 00:12:09,395
a friendly little
argument today.
313
00:12:09,436 --> 00:12:11,480
Tell me, why are your
American airplanes
314
00:12:11,522 --> 00:12:13,524
so inferior to those
of the Luftwaffe?
315
00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:15,150
Well, I think
it's the speed.
316
00:12:15,192 --> 00:12:17,903
Our new planes can't go
over 500 miles an hour.
317
00:12:17,945 --> 00:12:21,490
You have a plane that
goes 500 miles an hour?
318
00:12:21,490 --> 00:12:22,658
Did I say 500?
319
00:12:22,700 --> 00:12:23,826
I meant 300.
320
00:12:23,868 --> 00:12:26,412
You Gestapo have
a way of tricking us.
321
00:12:26,453 --> 00:12:29,248
Well, this is just a
friendly little conversation.
322
00:12:29,290 --> 00:12:32,418
Tell me, have you ever flown
a radar-equipped airplane?
323
00:12:32,459 --> 00:12:34,712
I understand they are
very hard to maneuver.
324
00:12:37,006 --> 00:12:38,883
Um, have you known
the field marshal long?
325
00:12:38,924 --> 00:12:40,426
A year.
326
00:12:40,467 --> 00:12:43,262
I always seem to be
attracted to military men.
327
00:12:43,304 --> 00:12:44,680
How nice.
328
00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:47,933
Especially a military genius
like the field marshal.
329
00:12:47,975 --> 00:12:49,977
Uh, did you know
that the Luftwaffe
330
00:12:50,019 --> 00:12:51,854
considers us both
military geniuses?
331
00:12:51,895 --> 00:12:53,355
Oh?
332
00:12:53,397 --> 00:12:55,357
I think my stock went up
333
00:12:55,357 --> 00:12:59,194
when Kessie picked the
Messerschmitt 110 and 109.
334
00:12:59,236 --> 00:13:01,530
You feel that was a mistake?
335
00:13:01,530 --> 00:13:03,365
It is a known fact that the 110
336
00:13:03,407 --> 00:13:05,826
has no maneuverability
with a bomb load.
337
00:13:05,868 --> 00:13:08,037
I thought that was
a military secret.
338
00:13:08,037 --> 00:13:10,080
You're right, you are an expert.
339
00:13:10,122 --> 00:13:13,250
No, it's, uh, genius.
340
00:13:13,292 --> 00:13:14,877
This is fascinating.
341
00:13:14,877 --> 00:13:16,378
Tell me more.
342
00:13:16,420 --> 00:13:19,006
Well, you see the 109
has no air brakes
343
00:13:19,048 --> 00:13:22,384
and it's very difficult
to use as a bomber escort.
344
00:13:22,426 --> 00:13:25,054
And you know all these things
about all our planes?
345
00:13:25,095 --> 00:13:26,555
Of course, my dear.
346
00:13:26,597 --> 00:13:28,766
Will you excuse me for a moment?
347
00:13:28,807 --> 00:13:29,933
I'll be right back.
348
00:13:29,975 --> 00:13:32,102
I want to hear more
from my genius.
349
00:13:32,144 --> 00:13:33,395
Anything you wish
to know,
350
00:13:33,437 --> 00:13:34,855
just ask me.
351
00:13:34,897 --> 00:13:36,857
Will you excuse us
for a moment, Colonel?
352
00:13:36,899 --> 00:13:37,816
Of course.
353
00:13:41,737 --> 00:13:43,489
How are you doing
with Fräulein Ziegler?
354
00:13:43,530 --> 00:13:45,032
She thinks
I'm a military genius.
355
00:13:45,074 --> 00:13:46,033
Really?
356
00:13:46,075 --> 00:13:47,284
Oh, she's fascinated by me.
357
00:13:49,536 --> 00:13:52,122
I hope that the field marshal
is not jealous.
358
00:13:52,164 --> 00:13:53,832
Well, maybe
he'll retire early
359
00:13:53,874 --> 00:13:55,459
and you can
make your move.
360
00:13:55,501 --> 00:13:59,338
I don't need you, Hogan, to
tell me when to make my move.
361
00:13:59,380 --> 00:14:00,339
Colonel Klink.
362
00:14:00,381 --> 00:14:01,340
Ah!
363
00:14:01,382 --> 00:14:02,716
Your coat.
364
00:14:02,758 --> 00:14:04,760
Major Feldkamp,
how very, very nice of you.
365
00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:06,762
And now we're off
to the Hauserhof.
366
00:14:06,762 --> 00:14:08,347
No, we are off
to the guardhouse.
367
00:14:08,389 --> 00:14:10,099
You have revealed
military secrets.
368
00:14:10,099 --> 00:14:11,767
You are under arrest
for treason.
369
00:14:11,767 --> 00:14:12,935
Just a minute, Major.
370
00:14:12,976 --> 00:14:14,520
Colonel Klink
didn't discuss
371
00:14:14,561 --> 00:14:16,105
any military secrets
with me.
372
00:14:16,146 --> 00:14:18,941
Ah, no, but he did
with Fräulein Ziegler,
373
00:14:18,982 --> 00:14:21,318
who is one of our top
Gestapo agents.
374
00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:22,820
After you, Colonel.
375
00:14:30,410 --> 00:14:32,830
You know, Klink has
a good chance of being shot.
376
00:14:32,871 --> 00:14:35,165
Yeah, and we planted
that paper on him.
377
00:14:35,207 --> 00:14:37,876
Maybe we can get him to leave
that belt to us in his will.
378
00:14:47,344 --> 00:14:49,763
You have a visitor,
Herr Kommandant.
379
00:14:49,805 --> 00:14:51,390
Dismissed, Hogan.
380
00:14:51,431 --> 00:14:52,641
Don't be too hasty, sir.
381
00:14:52,641 --> 00:14:54,143
Hogan, I don't need
your sympathy.
382
00:14:54,143 --> 00:14:55,310
Please go away.
383
00:14:55,310 --> 00:14:56,812
All right,
but I just brought you
384
00:14:56,812 --> 00:14:58,063
a little something to eat.
385
00:14:58,105 --> 00:14:59,148
Something to eat?
386
00:14:59,189 --> 00:15:00,232
Open up, Schultz,
open up.
387
00:15:01,525 --> 00:15:02,776
Leftover hors d'oeuvres, sir.
388
00:15:04,403 --> 00:15:06,488
A shame you had to leave
the party so early...
389
00:15:06,530 --> 00:15:08,490
It really started
to swing after you left.
390
00:15:08,532 --> 00:15:09,491
Mmm... you have
any more?
391
00:15:09,491 --> 00:15:11,034
Oh, yeah.
392
00:15:11,076 --> 00:15:12,411
A little desert.
393
00:15:12,452 --> 00:15:14,204
Mmm, thank you.
394
00:15:14,246 --> 00:15:15,873
Here, uh, let me loosen
that belt.
395
00:15:15,914 --> 00:15:18,000
You seem a little stuffed
from all that food.
396
00:15:18,041 --> 00:15:19,251
What food?
397
00:15:19,293 --> 00:15:21,169
It's the first thing
I've had all day.
398
00:15:21,169 --> 00:15:22,880
Yeah, well, then let me
take your coat.
399
00:15:22,921 --> 00:15:24,089
It's a little warm in here.
400
00:15:24,131 --> 00:15:25,173
Warm in here?
401
00:15:25,215 --> 00:15:26,425
It must be freezing.
402
00:15:26,466 --> 00:15:28,427
Well, it's not the
temperature, it's the humidity.
403
00:15:28,468 --> 00:15:29,678
Hogan, please leave me alone.
404
00:15:29,761 --> 00:15:31,096
You've caused
enough problems.
405
00:15:31,138 --> 00:15:33,140
Well, you're the one
that shot off his mouth...
406
00:15:33,181 --> 00:15:35,392
Had to try to be a big man
to that little blonde.
407
00:15:35,434 --> 00:15:36,560
You're cruel, Hogan.
408
00:15:36,602 --> 00:15:37,603
Well, it's the truth.
409
00:15:37,644 --> 00:15:39,396
All a dame has to do
is say hello to you,
410
00:15:39,438 --> 00:15:42,065
and you're ready to give her
a road map to Hitler's bunker.
411
00:15:42,107 --> 00:15:44,318
So I like women...
Kill me.
412
00:15:44,359 --> 00:15:45,903
I wouldn't say that
too loud in here.
413
00:15:45,944 --> 00:15:47,362
Hogan, the saddest day
of my life
414
00:15:47,362 --> 00:15:48,614
was the day
you got captured.
415
00:15:48,655 --> 00:15:49,781
Are you kidding?
416
00:15:49,823 --> 00:15:51,533
Before I arrived,
you had so many escapes
417
00:15:51,575 --> 00:15:54,119
they were going to put a
revolving door at the front gate.
418
00:15:54,161 --> 00:15:55,829
You told me about
the Messerschmitt 110!
419
00:15:55,871 --> 00:15:56,872
Who asked you?
420
00:15:56,914 --> 00:15:57,998
Thought you'd
like to know
421
00:15:58,040 --> 00:15:59,458
what's going on
in the Luftwaffe.
422
00:15:59,499 --> 00:16:01,501
I am the commandant
of a prisoner-of-war camp,
423
00:16:01,543 --> 00:16:02,919
not a military expert.
424
00:16:02,961 --> 00:16:05,047
That's "genius."
425
00:16:05,047 --> 00:16:07,049
Mein Herr Ex-Kommandant.
426
00:16:07,049 --> 00:16:08,258
What is it, Schultz?
427
00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:09,760
I've good news and bad news.
428
00:16:09,801 --> 00:16:11,219
Give him the good news
first, Schultz.
429
00:16:11,261 --> 00:16:13,597
They ordered you to be shot
first thing in the morning.
430
00:16:15,432 --> 00:16:17,434
That's good news?
431
00:16:17,476 --> 00:16:18,935
What's the bad news?
432
00:16:18,977 --> 00:16:21,605
They're not giving you
a blindfold.
433
00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:24,399
That's hard to believe,
even for the Gestapo.
434
00:16:24,441 --> 00:16:27,903
They're asking for volunteers
for the firing squad.
435
00:16:27,903 --> 00:16:31,531
Hah! They'll never get eight
volunteers from my men.
436
00:16:31,573 --> 00:16:34,201
I beg to report,
Herr Kommandant, they did.
437
00:16:34,242 --> 00:16:35,952
How many volunteered?
438
00:16:35,994 --> 00:16:37,037
Seventy-six.
439
00:16:37,079 --> 00:16:38,080
How many men do you have?
440
00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:40,082
Eighty-two.
441
00:16:40,165 --> 00:16:42,084
At least six of my men
are loyal.
442
00:16:42,084 --> 00:16:43,669
No, Herr Kommandant.
443
00:16:43,710 --> 00:16:47,422
Two are in the hospital
and four are on furlough.
444
00:16:47,464 --> 00:16:49,257
Well, that makes it unanimous.
445
00:16:49,299 --> 00:16:51,385
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
446
00:16:51,426 --> 00:16:52,844
We only have 80 men.
447
00:16:52,886 --> 00:16:57,099
Not counting the two deserters,
but they came back this morning
448
00:16:57,099 --> 00:16:59,851
when they heard
that you were going to be shot.
449
00:17:10,529 --> 00:17:11,863
Gin.
450
00:17:11,905 --> 00:17:13,073
Gin?
451
00:17:13,115 --> 00:17:14,449
Did I catch you with much?
452
00:17:14,449 --> 00:17:15,992
I got so many
kings and queens,
453
00:17:16,034 --> 00:17:17,911
it looks like a dance
at Buckingham Palace.
454
00:17:21,581 --> 00:17:22,707
You didn't get
Klink's belt.
455
00:17:22,874 --> 00:17:24,042
No, I didn't,
456
00:17:24,084 --> 00:17:26,503
and to tell you the truth,
I'm just as glad I didn't.
457
00:17:26,545 --> 00:17:27,629
Why?
458
00:17:27,671 --> 00:17:29,965
He may have to eat it
for dinner.
459
00:17:29,965 --> 00:17:31,800
They're really putting the
screws on him, aren't they?
460
00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:33,176
They have
the firing squad
461
00:17:33,218 --> 00:17:35,429
taking target practice
outside his window.
462
00:17:35,470 --> 00:17:37,180
That's cruel,
even for the Boche.
463
00:17:37,222 --> 00:17:39,808
Worse yet, they're using
a monocle for a bulls-eye.
464
00:17:39,808 --> 00:17:41,143
How's Klink taking it?
465
00:17:41,143 --> 00:17:42,894
He's taking it
like the man that he is...
466
00:17:42,936 --> 00:17:44,479
On his knees,
sobbing hysterically.
467
00:17:44,479 --> 00:17:46,690
We've got to come up
with a plan for Klink's escape
468
00:17:46,773 --> 00:17:48,024
or we'll never get
that belt.
469
00:17:48,066 --> 00:17:50,652
Aw, he could never
handle an escape.
470
00:17:50,694 --> 00:17:52,362
Yeah, the colonel
is right.
471
00:17:52,404 --> 00:17:54,406
Some guard would shoot him
in five minutes.
472
00:17:54,447 --> 00:17:55,407
I think he's safer
473
00:17:55,448 --> 00:17:56,783
in front of
the firing squad.
474
00:17:57,826 --> 00:17:58,827
Hi, Schultz.
475
00:17:58,827 --> 00:17:59,828
Shh.
476
00:17:59,828 --> 00:18:00,954
Shh!
477
00:18:00,996 --> 00:18:01,830
What's up?
478
00:18:03,874 --> 00:18:07,043
I have a plan to get
Commandant Klink to Switzerland,
479
00:18:07,085 --> 00:18:08,336
but I need your help.
480
00:18:08,336 --> 00:18:09,504
Forget it,
Schultz.
481
00:18:09,504 --> 00:18:11,006
It won't work.
482
00:18:11,047 --> 00:18:12,883
You haven't even heard my plan.
483
00:18:12,924 --> 00:18:14,301
All right,
let's hear it, Schultz.
484
00:18:14,342 --> 00:18:15,260
Shh.
485
00:18:16,553 --> 00:18:20,182
I put a little something
into the dogs' food
486
00:18:20,182 --> 00:18:22,350
that will make them sleep.
487
00:18:22,392 --> 00:18:25,812
Then when Corporal Wolfschmidt
comes on guard duty,
488
00:18:25,854 --> 00:18:27,856
I offer him a little schnapps.
489
00:18:27,898 --> 00:18:31,735
He goes into my room...
That will give me the chance
490
00:18:31,776 --> 00:18:36,323
to plant some dynamite in front
of Commandant Klink's cell
491
00:18:36,364 --> 00:18:37,824
and blow it up.
492
00:18:37,866 --> 00:18:39,868
Then I'll take
the Commandant Klink
493
00:18:39,868 --> 00:18:43,330
and put him into my brother-
in-law's car outside the fence
494
00:18:43,371 --> 00:18:44,873
and off he goes to Switzerland!
495
00:18:52,714 --> 00:18:55,717
Don't like my plan, huh?
496
00:18:55,717 --> 00:18:57,719
Uh, Schultz,
why don't you just use
497
00:18:57,719 --> 00:19:00,347
the key you have here
to unlock his cell door?
498
00:19:00,388 --> 00:19:01,848
If you got
enough dynamite
499
00:19:01,890 --> 00:19:04,309
to blow up the door,
it'll blow up Klink.
500
00:19:04,351 --> 00:19:07,228
How about the part with the dog?
501
00:19:07,228 --> 00:19:08,563
They hate you, Schultz.
502
00:19:08,563 --> 00:19:10,690
You couldn't get
within 20 feet of them.
503
00:19:10,774 --> 00:19:12,067
He's right.
504
00:19:12,067 --> 00:19:13,068
I have a plan.
505
00:19:13,068 --> 00:19:14,486
Come here.
506
00:19:14,527 --> 00:19:16,655
Stay with Wolfschmidt
and the schnapps bit,
507
00:19:16,696 --> 00:19:19,032
forget the dogs... they bite
the hand that feeds them...
508
00:19:19,074 --> 00:19:21,076
And also cancel
your brother-in-law's car.
509
00:19:21,076 --> 00:19:23,828
But what do we use
to get Klink to Switzerland?
510
00:19:23,870 --> 00:19:26,206
Field Marshal
Kesselring's car.
511
00:19:26,247 --> 00:19:29,084
Oh, wunderbar, wonderful!
512
00:19:29,125 --> 00:19:30,251
Now, have Klinky
in the car
513
00:19:30,293 --> 00:19:31,920
exactly 9:05
and leave the rest to us.
514
00:19:32,003 --> 00:19:33,254
Oh, thank you,
thank you.
515
00:19:33,296 --> 00:19:35,215
I knew I could count
on the prisoners
516
00:19:35,256 --> 00:19:36,508
to help the commandant
to escape.
517
00:19:38,259 --> 00:19:40,595
I thought we were not going
to try to help Klink escape.
518
00:19:40,637 --> 00:19:42,430
Well, you don't think
that Laurel and Hardy
519
00:19:42,472 --> 00:19:44,224
can really make
their plan work, do you?
520
00:19:44,265 --> 00:19:45,433
But if they try,
521
00:19:45,433 --> 00:19:46,935
they'll be shot
by the ruddy Gestapo.
522
00:19:47,060 --> 00:19:48,103
No, they won't.
523
00:19:48,103 --> 00:19:49,104
I've got another plan.
524
00:19:49,104 --> 00:19:51,064
It's going to
save Klink's life,
525
00:19:51,106 --> 00:19:52,691
and we wind up
with the belt.
526
00:19:52,732 --> 00:19:56,653
Care to have some schnapps,
Wolfschmidt?
527
00:19:56,695 --> 00:20:00,490
I have a bottle
under the pillow in my room.
528
00:20:00,532 --> 00:20:02,409
Go and get it.
529
00:20:07,288 --> 00:20:08,873
What's the word,
Schultz?
530
00:20:09,999 --> 00:20:12,293
I have good news
and bad news.
531
00:20:12,377 --> 00:20:14,087
This time give me
the bad news first.
532
00:20:14,129 --> 00:20:16,631
Headquarters turned down
your reprieve.
533
00:20:16,631 --> 00:20:18,550
So what could
be good news?
534
00:20:18,591 --> 00:20:22,429
They're giving you steak
with your last meal.
535
00:20:22,470 --> 00:20:26,182
Oh, Herr Kommandant,
I have a very good idea.
536
00:20:31,354 --> 00:20:32,897
Herr Kommandant, I have a plan.
537
00:20:32,939 --> 00:20:34,732
If you follow me,
538
00:20:34,774 --> 00:20:38,820
you will be in Switzerland
in the morning.
539
00:20:38,862 --> 00:20:41,322
Me run?
540
00:20:41,322 --> 00:20:43,450
Huh! Schultz,
you forget...
541
00:20:43,491 --> 00:20:45,160
I am a German officer.
542
00:20:45,201 --> 00:20:47,829
My father before me
was a German officer.
543
00:20:47,829 --> 00:20:51,082
All the Klink men have
always served in the military,
544
00:20:51,124 --> 00:20:52,167
and the one thing
545
00:20:52,167 --> 00:20:54,878
that has set them apart
from all the others
546
00:20:54,919 --> 00:20:56,045
was their courage.
547
00:20:56,087 --> 00:20:58,465
How would you like
your steak?
548
00:20:58,506 --> 00:20:59,591
What do you want
me to do?
549
00:21:05,430 --> 00:21:06,139
Stand back.
550
00:21:08,766 --> 00:21:10,518
Ooh! Ooh, ooh.
551
00:21:10,518 --> 00:21:11,811
I'm... I'm sorry.
552
00:21:11,853 --> 00:21:14,355
I-I wanted to break down
the door.
553
00:21:14,397 --> 00:21:16,608
You don't have to.
554
00:21:18,234 --> 00:21:19,444
Use the key!
555
00:21:19,485 --> 00:21:21,321
Oh, I'm sorry...
I forgot.
556
00:21:21,362 --> 00:21:22,614
Just a moment,
Herr Kommandant.
557
00:21:26,826 --> 00:21:27,660
Shh!
558
00:21:34,751 --> 00:21:35,919
We've got five minutes left.
559
00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:36,920
Any sign of them?
560
00:21:36,961 --> 00:21:37,921
Not yet, sir.
561
00:21:39,672 --> 00:21:41,382
Sounds like
Stan and Ollie now.
562
00:21:41,382 --> 00:21:42,926
Clumsy idiot.
563
00:21:42,967 --> 00:21:44,344
I'm sorry,
Herr Kommandant.
564
00:21:44,385 --> 00:21:45,386
I didn't see the can.
565
00:21:45,428 --> 00:21:47,388
Next time watch
where you're going.
566
00:21:47,388 --> 00:21:48,223
Shh.
567
00:21:49,724 --> 00:21:51,726
They'll be shot before
they even reach the car.
568
00:21:53,561 --> 00:21:55,230
Ooh... shh!
569
00:21:59,692 --> 00:22:00,652
Here they come.
570
00:22:00,693 --> 00:22:01,152
Stand by.
571
00:22:11,079 --> 00:22:12,080
Ow!
572
00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:13,915
Ah, ah, ah, ah!
573
00:22:13,957 --> 00:22:15,375
Oh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
574
00:22:15,416 --> 00:22:18,336
Herr Kommandant, they have
wonderful doctors in Switzerland.
575
00:22:18,378 --> 00:22:20,213
Dismissed.
576
00:22:20,254 --> 00:22:21,673
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.
577
00:22:21,714 --> 00:22:24,634
Herr Kommandant, good luck,
and I hope we meet again.
578
00:22:27,470 --> 00:22:28,638
Never mind,
I'll do it.
579
00:22:33,059 --> 00:22:34,769
Something wrong?
580
00:22:34,769 --> 00:22:36,062
The car won't start.
581
00:22:37,647 --> 00:22:38,606
We can push it.
582
00:22:38,648 --> 00:22:39,565
That's right.
583
00:22:42,276 --> 00:22:43,277
Now, push hard, Schultz.
584
00:22:43,277 --> 00:22:44,904
Hurry up.
585
00:22:44,946 --> 00:22:46,698
Push, Schultz.
586
00:22:48,199 --> 00:22:49,534
What happened, Colonel?
587
00:22:49,575 --> 00:22:50,785
The battery's dead.
588
00:22:50,827 --> 00:22:52,829
All right, come on,
everybody, push.
589
00:22:52,870 --> 00:22:53,830
All right, fine.
590
00:22:53,871 --> 00:22:54,831
I'll get in now.
591
00:22:54,872 --> 00:22:55,832
Oh, no, not yet.
592
00:22:55,873 --> 00:22:56,999
What? But wait!
593
00:22:57,041 --> 00:22:58,251
Hey, wait, wait!
594
00:22:58,292 --> 00:23:01,087
My car, it's gone.
595
00:23:01,129 --> 00:23:02,463
My only chance
for freedom.
596
00:23:02,505 --> 00:23:03,840
Ah... oh!
597
00:23:09,804 --> 00:23:11,347
What is going on here?
598
00:23:11,389 --> 00:23:14,434
Klink, what are you doing
out of the cooler?
599
00:23:14,475 --> 00:23:15,643
Well, for one thing,
600
00:23:15,685 --> 00:23:18,271
saving the life
of Field Marshal Kesselring.
601
00:23:18,312 --> 00:23:19,897
What are you talking about?
602
00:23:19,939 --> 00:23:20,898
It's obvious.
603
00:23:20,940 --> 00:23:23,234
Colonel Klink looked out
of his cell window,
604
00:23:23,276 --> 00:23:26,279
saw somebody planting a bomb
in the field marshal's car,
605
00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:28,948
overpowered the guard,
and at the risk of his own life
606
00:23:28,990 --> 00:23:30,700
ran out to save
the life of the man
607
00:23:30,742 --> 00:23:32,118
who condemned him to death.
608
00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:34,078
Is that what happened,
Colonel Klink?
609
00:23:34,120 --> 00:23:36,789
Sir, I couldn't have
told it better myself.
610
00:23:36,831 --> 00:23:39,542
I am very grateful
to you, Colonel.
611
00:23:39,584 --> 00:23:41,252
You are a brave man.
612
00:23:41,294 --> 00:23:42,462
Thank you, sir.
613
00:23:42,503 --> 00:23:43,671
All right, Schultz.
614
00:23:43,713 --> 00:23:45,673
Take the colonel
back to the cooler.
615
00:23:45,715 --> 00:23:47,175
No need
for that, Major.
616
00:23:47,216 --> 00:23:48,759
I am dropping
the charges
617
00:23:48,801 --> 00:23:51,679
and reinstating him as
Commandant of Stalag 13.
618
00:23:51,721 --> 00:23:54,182
Thank you, sir.
619
00:23:54,182 --> 00:23:56,267
Well, I think this calls
for a celebration.
620
00:23:56,309 --> 00:23:58,060
Why don't we all go
to the Hauserhof?
621
00:23:58,102 --> 00:24:00,438
I'm sure Colonel Klink and I
will be glad to buy the drinks.
622
00:24:00,480 --> 00:24:01,856
Excellent idea!
623
00:24:01,856 --> 00:24:02,857
We can go
in my car.
624
00:24:02,899 --> 00:24:04,567
What are you talking about?
625
00:24:04,609 --> 00:24:05,985
This man is a prisoner!
626
00:24:06,068 --> 00:24:07,904
I keep forgetting.
627
00:24:07,945 --> 00:24:10,072
I'm sorry, sir, you'll have
to host this party yourself.
628
00:24:27,048 --> 00:24:28,883
Dismissed, Schultz.
629
00:24:30,968 --> 00:24:33,387
Get in touch with
the underground?
630
00:24:33,429 --> 00:24:36,224
They're at the Hauserhof
waiting for Klink and his belt.
631
00:24:36,265 --> 00:24:37,350
Well, gentlemen,
632
00:24:37,391 --> 00:24:39,143
we have good news
and bad news.
633
00:24:39,185 --> 00:24:40,895
What's the good
news, Schultz?
634
00:24:40,937 --> 00:24:42,939
Colonel Klink is back.
635
00:24:42,980 --> 00:24:44,357
What's the bad news?
636
00:24:44,398 --> 00:24:47,109
We have to call off
the firing squad.
44381
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