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1
00:00:56,098 --> 00:00:58,392
Oh, Schultz,
I just heard that...
2
00:00:58,433 --> 00:01:00,978
This is very nice.
3
00:01:01,019 --> 00:01:03,981
Germany is locked in a death
struggle with her enemies,
4
00:01:04,022 --> 00:01:06,358
and you're practicing
to be a trained seal.
5
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:08,610
He's got to have a trade
for after the war, sir.
6
00:01:08,652 --> 00:01:09,903
Hogan, what are you doing here?
7
00:01:09,945 --> 00:01:11,822
Shopping for a trained seal act.
8
00:01:11,822 --> 00:01:13,281
If you don't mind,
I would like
9
00:01:13,323 --> 00:01:14,908
to conduct some
Luftwaffe business.
10
00:01:14,950 --> 00:01:16,034
Okay.
11
00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:18,495
Major Strauss called
from Stalag 4.
12
00:01:18,537 --> 00:01:20,414
General Burkhalter
and Captain Ritter
13
00:01:20,455 --> 00:01:21,832
are on their way over here.
14
00:01:21,873 --> 00:01:23,667
Have the VIP quarters
been cleaned?
15
00:01:23,709 --> 00:01:26,461
All is in order,
Herr Commandant.
16
00:01:26,503 --> 00:01:28,380
And lucky for you. Carry on.
17
00:01:28,422 --> 00:01:30,007
You... out!
18
00:01:30,048 --> 00:01:31,967
Dismissed.
19
00:01:35,345 --> 00:01:36,847
Who's
Captain Ritter?
20
00:01:36,847 --> 00:01:39,182
Luftwaffe staff officer,
Intelligence Section.
21
00:01:39,182 --> 00:01:41,351
Any idea why he's
coming to Shangri-La?
22
00:01:41,393 --> 00:01:43,645
The big shot doesn't
tell us anything.
23
00:01:43,687 --> 00:01:44,896
Yeah.
24
00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:45,981
I can see you're busy.
25
00:01:46,022 --> 00:01:46,982
I'll see you later.
26
00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:51,528
Ah?
27
00:01:54,156 --> 00:01:55,323
Intelligence officer?
28
00:01:55,365 --> 00:01:56,908
Right, and due here
in a few hours.
29
00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:57,993
Could be important.
30
00:01:58,034 --> 00:01:59,995
Kinch, radio London,
tell them to stand by.
31
00:02:00,036 --> 00:02:01,455
We may have
something for them.
32
00:02:01,496 --> 00:02:02,664
Right.
33
00:02:02,706 --> 00:02:03,999
LeBeau, Carter,
when Burkhalter
34
00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:05,375
and this Captain
Ritter arrive,
35
00:02:05,375 --> 00:02:06,710
I want you to get
in the office
36
00:02:06,710 --> 00:02:07,794
and clean it...
Ears open.
37
00:02:07,836 --> 00:02:09,379
We already did
that once, sir.
38
00:02:09,421 --> 00:02:10,589
Clean it again,
Carter.
39
00:02:10,630 --> 00:02:12,007
Hasn't anyone
ever told you
40
00:02:12,048 --> 00:02:13,216
war is a
dirty business?
41
00:02:28,023 --> 00:02:28,982
Bonjour!
42
00:02:29,191 --> 00:02:31,109
Hi, folks.
43
00:02:31,193 --> 00:02:32,819
What are you
doing in here?
44
00:02:32,861 --> 00:02:34,488
We've come
to clean the office.
45
00:02:34,529 --> 00:02:36,072
But you cleaned it
this morning.
46
00:02:36,114 --> 00:02:37,073
That's right.
47
00:02:37,115 --> 00:02:38,950
Where does
the time go?
48
00:02:39,117 --> 00:02:40,577
Out!
49
00:02:40,619 --> 00:02:42,454
The officers
are having a meeting.
50
00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:43,788
No one allowed in here.
51
00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:45,081
Well, with all
that brass here,
52
00:02:45,123 --> 00:02:46,917
you want everyone
to look busy, don't you?
53
00:02:46,917 --> 00:02:48,043
Never mind.
54
00:02:48,084 --> 00:02:49,085
We'll tell
Colonel Hogan
55
00:02:49,127 --> 00:02:50,420
you wouldn't
let us clean it.
56
00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:51,922
And he'll tell Klink.
57
00:02:51,922 --> 00:02:53,215
And Klink
will tell you.
58
00:02:53,256 --> 00:02:54,758
Oh, boy, will he tell you.
59
00:02:54,758 --> 00:02:56,092
Hey, drop us
a postcard.
60
00:02:56,092 --> 00:02:58,887
Let us know which combat unit
you've been assigned to.
61
00:02:58,929 --> 00:03:00,180
Bye, ma'am.
Au revoir.
62
00:03:00,222 --> 00:03:01,431
Wait a minute!
63
00:03:01,431 --> 00:03:03,433
Come in.
64
00:03:03,433 --> 00:03:05,936
Go ahead. Clean...
But make it fast.
65
00:03:13,818 --> 00:03:16,446
Would you move your
great bulk aside, Sergeant?
66
00:03:16,488 --> 00:03:17,989
Wh-Wh-What for?
67
00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:20,951
We have to clean inside
the closet. Thank you.
68
00:03:33,797 --> 00:03:36,174
What brings you
to Stalag 13?
69
00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:38,343
Captain Ritter
has been ordered
70
00:03:38,385 --> 00:03:41,012
to acquaint himself
with Luftwaffe
71
00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:43,306
prisoner-of-war facilities.
72
00:03:43,348 --> 00:03:44,724
The general was
kind enough
73
00:03:44,766 --> 00:03:46,977
to let me tag along on
the inspection tour.
74
00:03:47,018 --> 00:03:49,604
I'm at your disposal, Captain.
75
00:03:49,646 --> 00:03:52,315
I will give you
any information that I have.
76
00:03:52,357 --> 00:03:53,733
Danke, Herr Colonel.
77
00:03:53,775 --> 00:03:57,487
You may learn a few things
anyway. Hmm!
78
00:03:58,780 --> 00:04:01,199
Will you be filing a report
with Headquarters, sir?
79
00:04:01,283 --> 00:04:03,326
I mean, are they
contemplating any changes?
80
00:04:03,368 --> 00:04:06,246
Klink's a very secure man.
81
00:04:06,288 --> 00:04:07,455
No report,
Colonel.
82
00:04:07,497 --> 00:04:09,624
My work is Luftwaffe
Intelligence.
83
00:04:10,625 --> 00:04:13,461
There, there is nothing
more intelligent
84
00:04:13,503 --> 00:04:15,463
than Intelligence,
I always say.
85
00:04:15,505 --> 00:04:19,134
Unfortunately, that's
what he always says,
86
00:04:19,175 --> 00:04:20,969
among other things.
87
00:04:21,011 --> 00:04:22,512
The general knows me so well.
88
00:04:22,554 --> 00:04:24,973
It has not been easy.
89
00:04:25,015 --> 00:04:26,599
Well, Captain,
90
00:04:26,641 --> 00:04:27,809
we shall try
to make things
91
00:04:27,851 --> 00:04:29,394
as comfortable
as possible for you.
92
00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:30,979
Now, if there is
anything I can do.
93
00:04:31,021 --> 00:04:32,522
There is one small
thing, Colonel.
94
00:04:32,564 --> 00:04:33,732
Mm-hmm.
95
00:04:33,773 --> 00:04:35,692
I have a Luftwaffe
code book with me.
96
00:04:35,734 --> 00:04:36,985
Top secret, of course.
97
00:04:37,027 --> 00:04:39,529
I wonder if you could
put it in your safe.
98
00:04:39,571 --> 00:04:41,740
Captain.
99
00:04:41,781 --> 00:04:45,368
I shall make it my
personal responsibility.
100
00:04:55,795 --> 00:04:56,963
Voilà.
101
00:04:57,005 --> 00:04:58,840
In the safe it goes.
102
00:04:58,882 --> 00:04:59,924
In the office safe.
103
00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:02,385
Oui. Wrapped in a nice
waterproof package.
104
00:05:02,427 --> 00:05:03,386
Luftwaffe codes.
105
00:05:03,428 --> 00:05:05,388
Just what London
wants for Christmas.
106
00:05:05,430 --> 00:05:07,182
It's not what I want
for Christmas, boy.
107
00:05:07,223 --> 00:05:08,391
Can we get it?
108
00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:09,934
I'd have to steal it
long enough to copy it.
109
00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:11,811
Boy, what I'd
like for Christmas
110
00:05:11,853 --> 00:05:14,564
is some new tires for
my motorcycle back home.
111
00:05:14,564 --> 00:05:16,608
Newkirk could open
the commandant's safe.
112
00:05:16,649 --> 00:05:17,692
I've done it before.
113
00:05:17,734 --> 00:05:18,777
Very risky.
114
00:05:18,818 --> 00:05:20,278
A man could get
killed that way.
115
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:21,446
Not if you
don't speed.
116
00:05:21,488 --> 00:05:22,572
It's worth a try.
117
00:05:22,614 --> 00:05:24,073
All right, Newkirk'll
get the book.
118
00:05:24,073 --> 00:05:25,450
Kinch, you handle
the switchboard.
119
00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:26,743
We need Klink out
of his office
120
00:05:26,743 --> 00:05:28,161
for about ten minutes.
That's it.
121
00:05:28,203 --> 00:05:29,621
Boy, wouldn't
do any good
122
00:05:29,662 --> 00:05:32,582
to get those tires to my
motorcycle for Christmas.
123
00:05:32,624 --> 00:05:34,793
I'd have to be back
home to enjoy them.
124
00:05:34,834 --> 00:05:36,252
Boy, that's
what I wish.
125
00:05:36,252 --> 00:05:38,129
I wish I was a
civilian again.
126
00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:39,088
So do we, Carter.
127
00:05:39,130 --> 00:05:40,423
So do we.
128
00:05:42,801 --> 00:05:44,427
Just answer my
question, Newkirk.
129
00:05:44,427 --> 00:05:46,012
Do you call
these windows clean?
130
00:05:46,054 --> 00:05:47,222
I do the best
I can, sir.
131
00:05:47,263 --> 00:05:49,182
Well, if that's
an example of your best,
132
00:05:49,224 --> 00:05:50,934
maybe you ought
to try your worst.
133
00:05:50,934 --> 00:05:52,101
That's very
funny, Colonel.
134
00:05:52,101 --> 00:05:53,436
I don't mind
being knocked about
135
00:05:53,436 --> 00:05:54,604
with a touch
of humor, sir.
136
00:05:54,604 --> 00:05:56,606
What is going on here?
137
00:05:56,648 --> 00:05:57,690
Just a minute,
Commandant.
138
00:05:57,732 --> 00:05:59,651
When you do a job,
don't you try to be perfect?
139
00:05:59,692 --> 00:06:02,111
I mean, when you're working,
what are you thinking about?
140
00:06:02,111 --> 00:06:03,238
Girls, mostly, sir.
141
00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:04,531
It's been a long war.
142
00:06:04,572 --> 00:06:06,074
This is my office, you know.
143
00:06:06,115 --> 00:06:07,242
What's going on here?
144
00:06:07,283 --> 00:06:08,409
The colonel
doesn't fancy
145
00:06:08,451 --> 00:06:10,453
the job I did on your
windows, Commandant.
146
00:06:10,453 --> 00:06:12,163
Well, if the windows
in the nerve center
147
00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:13,915
of Stalag 13
can't be clean, I give up.
148
00:06:13,957 --> 00:06:15,458
They look all
right to me.
149
00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:17,335
Commandant, do you
want Burkhalter
150
00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:19,963
to tell that gang in Berlin
that you've got DW?
151
00:06:19,963 --> 00:06:21,798
DW?
152
00:06:21,798 --> 00:06:23,091
Dirty windows.
153
00:06:23,132 --> 00:06:25,301
Oh, never mind. Get on with it.
154
00:06:25,301 --> 00:06:27,178
Commandant, would you
like to step outside
155
00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:28,846
for a few minutes
while I do the job?
156
00:06:28,888 --> 00:06:31,849
No, the commandant
would like to continue his work.
157
00:06:31,891 --> 00:06:35,061
Now, clean the windows
and do it quietly.
158
00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:41,734
Colonel Klink speaking.
159
00:06:41,901 --> 00:06:42,986
Heil Hitler.
160
00:06:42,986 --> 00:06:45,280
Sergeant of the guard,
Herr Commandant.
161
00:06:45,321 --> 00:06:47,782
General Burkhalter
requests that you report
162
00:06:47,824 --> 00:06:49,158
to his quarters at once.
163
00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:50,201
I'll be there
immediately.
164
00:07:12,515 --> 00:07:13,266
Schultz!
165
00:07:14,851 --> 00:07:16,185
Yes, Herr Commandant.
166
00:07:16,227 --> 00:07:18,062
Schultz, did you
send for me?
167
00:07:18,187 --> 00:07:19,605
Me send for you?
168
00:07:19,647 --> 00:07:21,774
I never send
for anybody,
169
00:07:21,816 --> 00:07:24,110
not even
if I need them.
170
00:07:24,152 --> 00:07:26,195
I was told the general
wanted to see me.
171
00:07:26,237 --> 00:07:28,448
I walked in there and
interrupted his nap.
172
00:07:28,489 --> 00:07:30,199
Ooh, how terrible.
173
00:07:30,199 --> 00:07:35,163
Interrupting a general's nap
could cost a promotion.
174
00:07:35,204 --> 00:07:37,665
If it costs me a
promotion, Schultz,
175
00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:39,834
imagine what it
would cost you.
176
00:07:39,876 --> 00:07:43,004
I've got to build up
my efficiency rating.
177
00:07:43,046 --> 00:07:46,090
What do we have on
the disciplinary file?
178
00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:49,927
The prisoners were writing
nasty things about you
179
00:07:49,969 --> 00:07:51,721
on the barracks walls.
180
00:07:51,763 --> 00:07:52,722
Old stuff.
181
00:07:52,764 --> 00:07:53,931
Old, but true.
182
00:07:53,973 --> 00:07:55,808
Oh, shut up. Who cares?
183
00:07:56,100 --> 00:07:59,062
Oh...
184
00:07:59,103 --> 00:08:01,230
There are five
silver spoons
185
00:08:01,272 --> 00:08:04,067
missing from
the officers mess.
186
00:08:04,108 --> 00:08:07,070
No, that's not... Wait.
187
00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:09,781
That could be it.
188
00:08:09,822 --> 00:08:13,201
Call a special formation
of all prisoners at once.
189
00:08:13,242 --> 00:08:15,703
Everyone must be
there, no exceptions.
190
00:08:27,799 --> 00:08:29,217
Tell Kinch
to start sending that
191
00:08:29,258 --> 00:08:30,259
to London immediately.
192
00:08:30,259 --> 00:08:31,385
I'll stay here and cover.
193
00:08:31,427 --> 00:08:32,178
Right.
194
00:08:34,472 --> 00:08:35,431
Oh, Colonel.
195
00:08:35,473 --> 00:08:36,891
If you ever get
anything valuable,
196
00:08:36,933 --> 00:08:38,267
I wouldn't keep it
in that bloody
197
00:08:38,267 --> 00:08:39,352
crackerbox if
I were you.
198
00:08:39,393 --> 00:08:40,144
Not with you around.
199
00:08:44,774 --> 00:08:46,943
Where do you think
you're going, soldier?!
200
00:08:46,943 --> 00:08:48,194
I'm going to
the barracks.
201
00:08:48,236 --> 00:08:49,445
Halt!
202
00:08:49,445 --> 00:08:52,448
There has been a special
formation called at once!
203
00:08:52,448 --> 00:08:53,950
Right, Herr Schultz.
I'll be there
204
00:08:53,991 --> 00:08:55,785
and if I'm not there,
start without me.
205
00:08:56,786 --> 00:08:57,870
Hold it, now...
206
00:08:57,912 --> 00:08:58,996
Get this man
to the special
207
00:08:59,038 --> 00:08:59,997
formation at once!
208
00:09:00,039 --> 00:09:01,749
Take it easy,
take it easy.
209
00:09:01,791 --> 00:09:03,292
There's no need
to get alarmed.
210
00:09:03,292 --> 00:09:04,460
Good Lor...
211
00:09:06,504 --> 00:09:08,506
See what you
nearly made me do.
212
00:09:11,801 --> 00:09:14,387
Achtung!
213
00:09:14,428 --> 00:09:15,721
Prisoners,
214
00:09:15,763 --> 00:09:19,308
the mess sergeant reports that
five silver spoons are missing
215
00:09:19,308 --> 00:09:20,643
from the officers mess.
216
00:09:20,643 --> 00:09:24,647
The guilty man has 48 hours
to return those spoons
217
00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:26,732
and report himself
to the sergeant
218
00:09:26,774 --> 00:09:28,317
for suitable punishment.
219
00:09:28,317 --> 00:09:31,529
If he fails to do so,
the entire camp
220
00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:36,742
will be restricted to quarters
and all privileges revoked.
221
00:09:36,784 --> 00:09:38,828
Dismissed.
222
00:09:49,171 --> 00:09:51,340
Why did you have to
throw it in the well?
223
00:09:51,340 --> 00:09:52,508
I was making a wish.
224
00:09:52,550 --> 00:09:54,468
I couldn't eat the bloody
code book, could I?
225
00:09:54,510 --> 00:09:55,678
The question now
is, how do we
226
00:09:55,678 --> 00:09:57,013
get the book
out of the well?
227
00:09:57,013 --> 00:09:58,806
We could tunnel up
to it, Colonel.
228
00:09:58,848 --> 00:10:00,349
Yeah, it'd
take too long.
229
00:10:00,349 --> 00:10:03,811
Find an excuse to work
over there... above ground.
230
00:10:03,853 --> 00:10:06,188
We start digging
and tell them
231
00:10:06,188 --> 00:10:08,149
we're trying to get
the well started again.
232
00:10:08,190 --> 00:10:09,317
Carter, go away.
233
00:10:09,358 --> 00:10:11,193
Help the Krauts
find those spoons.
234
00:10:11,235 --> 00:10:12,611
Well, hold it, hold it.
235
00:10:12,653 --> 00:10:14,113
We could dig that well,
236
00:10:14,155 --> 00:10:15,990
but they'd have
to need water.
237
00:10:16,032 --> 00:10:17,450
Okay, we cut the pipes.
238
00:10:17,491 --> 00:10:21,162
No, we need more time for
digging. Something bigger.
239
00:10:21,203 --> 00:10:23,205
How about the water
works at Hamelburg?
240
00:10:23,205 --> 00:10:24,415
Hey, that's marvelous!
241
00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:26,000
Hey, see, guys, I
did have an idea.
242
00:10:26,042 --> 00:10:27,501
Blow up the water
works in Hamelburg.
243
00:10:27,543 --> 00:10:29,503
Uh-huh.
244
00:10:29,545 --> 00:10:31,172
The water works
in Hamel...
245
00:10:31,213 --> 00:10:32,214
Colonel, wait a minute!
246
00:10:32,256 --> 00:10:33,215
Don't listen to me!
247
00:10:33,257 --> 00:10:34,300
I don't always know
what I'm saying!
248
00:12:03,639 --> 00:12:06,767
Klink!!
249
00:12:30,374 --> 00:12:32,835
And you expect people
to go without water?
250
00:12:33,168 --> 00:12:35,212
What?
251
00:12:35,254 --> 00:12:36,672
I see.
252
00:12:36,672 --> 00:12:38,215
Heil Hitler.
253
00:12:38,257 --> 00:12:40,634
How long will the water be
turned off, Herr Kommandant?
254
00:12:40,676 --> 00:12:43,304
Oh, it may take days.
255
00:12:43,345 --> 00:12:45,931
But we do have wine,
General Burkhalter.
256
00:12:45,973 --> 00:12:49,018
I've never tried brushing
my teeth with wine.
257
00:12:49,018 --> 00:12:52,980
We have several bottles
of Riesling 1936.
258
00:12:53,022 --> 00:12:55,524
And I have no intention
of walking around
259
00:12:55,524 --> 00:12:57,735
with drunken bridgework.
260
00:12:58,861 --> 00:12:59,945
Come in, come in,
come in.
261
00:12:59,987 --> 00:13:00,946
Excuse me, gentlemen.
262
00:13:00,988 --> 00:13:02,197
A word with you,
Commandant?
263
00:13:02,197 --> 00:13:03,324
Not now, Hogan.
I'm busy.
264
00:13:03,365 --> 00:13:04,491
It's very important, sir.
265
00:13:04,533 --> 00:13:05,743
It's about
the water supply.
266
00:13:05,826 --> 00:13:07,202
I said not now.
267
00:13:07,202 --> 00:13:08,829
Well, I mean, my men
are without water.
268
00:13:08,871 --> 00:13:10,497
We want you to turn on
the reserve supply.
269
00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:12,124
Reserve supply?
270
00:13:12,166 --> 00:13:14,126
There is no reserve supply.
271
00:13:14,168 --> 00:13:16,712
No reserve supply?
That's shocking.
272
00:13:16,712 --> 00:13:19,006
What are your plans to
meet the emergency, sir?
273
00:13:19,048 --> 00:13:21,342
Well, we are considering
the problem right now.
274
00:13:21,383 --> 00:13:23,427
This is a high-level meeting
for just that purpose.
275
00:13:23,469 --> 00:13:27,389
A high-level meeting
with low-level thinking.
276
00:13:27,431 --> 00:13:30,517
Have you suggested
the dry well, sir?
277
00:13:30,559 --> 00:13:32,227
I haven't gotten
to that yet.
278
00:13:32,227 --> 00:13:33,520
Might be reactivated.
279
00:13:33,562 --> 00:13:35,939
Give us the tools,
we can start digging.
280
00:13:35,981 --> 00:13:38,484
Of course, start digging...
281
00:13:38,525 --> 00:13:39,526
a tunnel.
282
00:13:39,568 --> 00:13:40,819
Request denied.
283
00:13:40,861 --> 00:13:42,321
No escape today.
Thank you, Hogan.
284
00:13:42,363 --> 00:13:44,990
Just a minute, Klink.
285
00:13:45,032 --> 00:13:47,868
You think there is a chance
you could reach water?
286
00:13:47,910 --> 00:13:49,328
What do we got
to lose, General?
287
00:13:49,370 --> 00:13:50,496
This high-level talking
288
00:13:50,537 --> 00:13:52,081
isn't going
to solve the problem.
289
00:13:52,122 --> 00:13:54,041
See that tools are
issued to them at once.
290
00:13:54,083 --> 00:13:56,001
Yes, sir. And I think
it's a excellent idea.
291
00:13:56,043 --> 00:13:56,960
Thank you, General.
292
00:13:57,002 --> 00:13:58,462
We'll get to work on it
right away.
293
00:13:58,504 --> 00:14:00,589
Dismissed, Hogan.
294
00:14:00,589 --> 00:14:03,258
Well, gentlemen,
to consider the problem...
295
00:14:03,258 --> 00:14:06,095
Klink, get me a bottle
of that Riesling.
296
00:14:06,220 --> 00:14:07,596
At once, sir.
297
00:14:07,596 --> 00:14:10,140
I would like to wash up
before lunch.
298
00:14:21,068 --> 00:14:22,486
I got the book,
Colonel.
299
00:14:22,528 --> 00:14:24,446
All right, good.
Hold on to it.
300
00:14:24,446 --> 00:14:27,032
Hey, Colonel, water's seeping
into the bottom of the well.
301
00:14:27,074 --> 00:14:28,659
How about that,
we really did a job.
302
00:14:28,700 --> 00:14:29,993
Let's get back
to the barracks.
303
00:14:31,286 --> 00:14:33,038
Just a minute,
Colonel Hogan.
304
00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:35,791
They are not going
back to the barracks yet.
305
00:14:35,791 --> 00:14:37,126
Line up. Schnell.
306
00:14:37,167 --> 00:14:39,128
What's the idea, Schultz?
307
00:14:39,169 --> 00:14:42,005
Spot check.
Orders by the Kommandant.
308
00:14:42,047 --> 00:14:43,799
Come on, we've been
working for hours!
309
00:14:45,050 --> 00:14:46,218
Quiet!
310
00:14:46,260 --> 00:14:48,095
Still looking
for the spoons?
311
00:14:48,137 --> 00:14:50,931
Yes. Klink says he's going
to look for them
312
00:14:50,973 --> 00:14:52,516
till the end
of the Earth.
313
00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:54,768
And let's hope
it's a one-way trip.
314
00:14:54,810 --> 00:14:58,147
Now I'm going to make
the search.
315
00:14:58,188 --> 00:14:59,898
Hey, just a
moment, Schultz.
316
00:14:59,940 --> 00:15:01,400
Am I in the
right place?
317
00:15:01,441 --> 00:15:02,776
No. I stand
over there.
318
00:15:02,818 --> 00:15:03,819
You're not
over here.
319
00:15:03,819 --> 00:15:05,571
I mean, you're
always on my right.
320
00:15:05,612 --> 00:15:06,738
No, no, I...
321
00:15:06,780 --> 00:15:08,198
I don't care where...
322
00:15:08,282 --> 00:15:10,993
I don't, I don't care
where you stand!
323
00:15:10,993 --> 00:15:12,953
Line up!
324
00:15:12,995 --> 00:15:14,329
Keep it that way!
325
00:15:14,329 --> 00:15:15,789
That's better!
326
00:15:29,761 --> 00:15:31,805
I say forget the
code book, Colonel.
327
00:15:31,847 --> 00:15:33,056
It's lost.
328
00:15:33,098 --> 00:15:35,684
Okay, Ritter checks out,
he asks for it, no book,
329
00:15:35,684 --> 00:15:36,727
big investigation.
330
00:15:36,768 --> 00:15:39,021
You know how it ends?
They shoot us as spies.
331
00:15:39,021 --> 00:15:40,480
Well, we're not spies,
Colonel.
332
00:15:40,522 --> 00:15:41,481
We're just POWs.
333
00:15:41,523 --> 00:15:42,900
Blowing up bridges
and factories
334
00:15:42,941 --> 00:15:44,401
in our spare time.
335
00:15:44,443 --> 00:15:46,028
Well, it keeps us
out of trouble.
336
00:15:46,069 --> 00:15:47,154
There's no choice.
337
00:15:47,195 --> 00:15:48,405
Somebody's got
to dive for it.
338
00:15:48,447 --> 00:15:50,866
By now there's ten feet
of ice water in the well.
339
00:15:50,908 --> 00:15:52,576
He'll need earplugs,
a flashlight.
340
00:15:52,618 --> 00:15:54,369
We'll waterproof it
with wax and gum.
341
00:15:54,411 --> 00:15:55,871
Who's "he," Colonel?
342
00:15:55,871 --> 00:15:57,289
He's you, that's who he is.
343
00:15:57,331 --> 00:15:59,833
Me?! Dive for that book
in that ice water?!
344
00:15:59,875 --> 00:16:01,418
Carter, you're in
good physical shape.
345
00:16:01,460 --> 00:16:02,878
I know you're not
afraid of water.
346
00:16:02,919 --> 00:16:04,838
Just because I take
a bath every Saturday...
347
00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:06,089
That doesn't prove
anything.
348
00:16:06,131 --> 00:16:07,966
We have to get most
of the Krauts out of camp.
349
00:16:08,008 --> 00:16:09,718
I've got an idea.
Who hasn't escaped lately?
350
00:16:13,847 --> 00:16:15,724
I don't care to escape.
I like it here.
351
00:16:15,724 --> 00:16:17,559
I've got a plan
for a diversion.
352
00:16:17,601 --> 00:16:19,061
It may involve shooting.
353
00:16:19,102 --> 00:16:20,896
Makes it sound like fun.
354
00:16:20,937 --> 00:16:21,938
What about me?
355
00:16:21,980 --> 00:16:23,398
I'm going to be
under that ice water.
356
00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:25,317
Andrew, you look
better that way.
357
00:16:28,445 --> 00:16:29,488
An escape?
358
00:16:29,529 --> 00:16:30,739
Which prisoner?
359
00:16:30,781 --> 00:16:31,990
LeBeau, the Frenchman.
360
00:16:32,032 --> 00:16:33,742
The cockroach
wants to leave us?
361
00:16:33,784 --> 00:16:35,243
I thought he
liked it here.
362
00:16:35,285 --> 00:16:36,411
Oh, shut up.
363
00:16:36,411 --> 00:16:37,663
Go on, Hogan.
364
00:16:37,704 --> 00:16:39,831
Well, he's dyed a blanket
to make a crude uniform.
365
00:16:39,873 --> 00:16:42,668
Tomorrow night he wants me
to report a prisoner missing.
366
00:16:42,709 --> 00:16:44,086
The alert starts,
in the confusion,
367
00:16:44,127 --> 00:16:46,213
slips out of the barracks,
joins the search party
368
00:16:46,254 --> 00:16:47,255
and leaves camp with them.
369
00:16:47,297 --> 00:16:48,256
Yes, yes.
370
00:16:48,298 --> 00:16:49,257
Once outside
the wire,
371
00:16:49,299 --> 00:16:50,258
he slips away,
372
00:16:50,300 --> 00:16:51,426
takes off the uniform,
he's gone.
373
00:16:52,094 --> 00:16:53,303
Brilliant.
374
00:16:53,345 --> 00:16:54,304
Stupid.
375
00:16:55,472 --> 00:16:58,141
Uh, stupid and brilliant.
376
00:16:58,183 --> 00:16:59,559
Schultz,
arrest the Frenchman.
377
00:16:59,601 --> 00:17:00,811
Throw him into the cooler.
378
00:17:00,852 --> 00:17:02,437
Give him a chance
to think it over.
379
00:17:02,479 --> 00:17:03,605
Jawohl,
Herr Kommandant.
380
00:17:03,605 --> 00:17:04,606
Wrong, Commandant.
381
00:17:04,606 --> 00:17:06,274
Smarter to let him
go through with his plan.
382
00:17:06,316 --> 00:17:07,984
Arrest him outside
the wire tomorrow night.
383
00:17:08,026 --> 00:17:08,985
What for?
384
00:17:09,027 --> 00:17:10,362
Well, if he has
any outside contacts,
385
00:17:10,404 --> 00:17:11,488
pick them up, too.
386
00:17:11,530 --> 00:17:13,281
We are the Luftwaffe, not
the Gestapo. I don't like it.
387
00:17:13,323 --> 00:17:15,450
And it would look better
on your efficiency rating.
388
00:17:15,450 --> 00:17:16,952
However, I like to keep
an open mind.
389
00:17:16,993 --> 00:17:18,412
We'll try it.
Good thinking, sir.
390
00:17:18,453 --> 00:17:20,122
Hogan.
391
00:17:20,122 --> 00:17:22,457
Why are you reporting
one of your own men?
392
00:17:22,499 --> 00:17:23,959
I don't want him
to get hurt.
393
00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:25,919
I've learned from
bitter experience...
394
00:17:25,961 --> 00:17:28,630
Nobody escapes from
Stalag 13 and the Iron Colonel.
395
00:17:28,630 --> 00:17:30,465
Iron Colonel?
Who's that?
396
00:17:30,507 --> 00:17:33,635
Schultz,
I wish you would escape.
397
00:17:33,635 --> 00:17:35,804
I wouldn't raise a finger
to stop you.
398
00:17:43,770 --> 00:17:45,939
Oh, Florence Chadwick,
I presume.
399
00:17:45,981 --> 00:17:48,275
Huh! The Krauts are all
standing by, sir.
400
00:17:48,316 --> 00:17:49,484
Good.
401
00:17:49,526 --> 00:17:51,486
That uniform is perfect,
LeBeau... just bad enough.
402
00:17:51,528 --> 00:17:52,529
Where'd you
get the gun?
403
00:17:52,571 --> 00:17:53,321
Belongs to Schultz.
404
00:17:53,363 --> 00:17:54,489
What's he
going to use?
405
00:17:54,531 --> 00:17:55,657
That's his
problem.
406
00:17:55,699 --> 00:17:56,867
All right, let's
get organized.
407
00:17:56,908 --> 00:17:58,785
Newkirk, you'll be in
charge of the flashlight,
408
00:17:58,827 --> 00:18:00,245
the rope and the
blanket. Right, sir.
409
00:18:00,287 --> 00:18:01,580
Kinch, London all
set for the code?
410
00:18:01,621 --> 00:18:02,581
Standing by,
Colonel.
411
00:18:02,622 --> 00:18:03,582
Okay, this is it.
412
00:18:03,623 --> 00:18:04,583
LeBeau, let's move out.
413
00:18:04,624 --> 00:18:05,584
Jawohl,
Herr Kommandant!
414
00:18:05,625 --> 00:18:06,626
Please don't be too German.
415
00:18:06,668 --> 00:18:07,627
They'll never believe it.
416
00:18:08,879 --> 00:18:09,838
Almost set, Carter?
417
00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:10,839
Yes, sir.
Okay.
418
00:18:10,881 --> 00:18:12,174
Good luck
with your Channel swim.
419
00:18:12,215 --> 00:18:13,133
Thanks.
420
00:18:14,134 --> 00:18:15,635
Oh, that's charming.
421
00:18:27,772 --> 00:18:28,732
Schultz!
422
00:18:28,773 --> 00:18:29,482
Schultz!
423
00:18:31,651 --> 00:18:32,819
There's a man missing.
424
00:18:32,861 --> 00:18:34,029
He's gone.
425
00:18:34,070 --> 00:18:36,281
Looks like an escape.
426
00:18:36,323 --> 00:18:40,327
Prisoner escaped!
427
00:18:40,368 --> 00:18:41,912
Prisoner escaping!
428
00:18:41,953 --> 00:18:43,872
Search party,
schnell, schnell, schnell!
429
00:18:44,873 --> 00:18:46,207
Search party,
come on, let's go! Schnell!
430
00:18:46,249 --> 00:18:47,208
Prepare to move out!
431
00:18:47,250 --> 00:18:48,585
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.
432
00:18:48,627 --> 00:18:50,462
Schnell, schnell! Let's go!
433
00:18:50,503 --> 00:18:51,796
Come on, let's go.
434
00:18:51,838 --> 00:18:53,965
Schnell, schnell,
schnell, schnell, schnell!
435
00:18:54,007 --> 00:18:56,134
Search party, let's go!
436
00:18:56,176 --> 00:18:57,260
Come on, in the truck!
437
00:18:57,302 --> 00:18:59,387
Schnell, schnell,
schnell, schnell!
438
00:18:59,429 --> 00:19:00,722
Come on, let's go!
439
00:19:00,931 --> 00:19:01,890
Schnell!
440
00:19:07,062 --> 00:19:09,481
Forward!!
441
00:19:41,429 --> 00:19:42,347
Come on.
442
00:20:17,298 --> 00:20:18,716
Now, got the signals?
443
00:20:18,758 --> 00:20:21,803
Two tugs on the rope
means we'll pull you up.
444
00:20:21,803 --> 00:20:25,223
Three tugs means trouble,
stay down.
445
00:20:25,265 --> 00:20:26,599
Good luck.
446
00:20:35,817 --> 00:20:38,069
Think a short prayer
might be in order, sir.
447
00:20:40,155 --> 00:20:42,323
Is he in the water yet?
448
00:20:42,323 --> 00:20:44,951
It's a half mile
down there.
449
00:20:48,329 --> 00:20:49,831
Any more questions,
Colonel?
450
00:20:52,333 --> 00:20:54,419
We've given him
enough time.
451
00:20:54,461 --> 00:20:55,587
Schultz, over there.
452
00:20:55,628 --> 00:20:56,880
The rest of you
come with me.
453
00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:01,676
That cockroach
is here somewhere.
454
00:21:01,718 --> 00:21:03,178
I think
I hear breathing.
455
00:21:03,219 --> 00:21:04,137
I bloody well
hope so.
456
00:21:07,140 --> 00:21:08,933
He's ready to come up.
457
00:21:08,975 --> 00:21:10,852
I got that impression
myself.
458
00:21:10,894 --> 00:21:11,603
Let's get him up.
459
00:21:22,864 --> 00:21:23,823
Hey, he's got it.
460
00:21:23,865 --> 00:21:25,825
Watch it. Kraut coming.
Take cover.
461
00:21:56,606 --> 00:21:58,316
LeBeau!
462
00:21:58,358 --> 00:22:01,235
Can you hear me?
463
00:22:01,235 --> 00:22:03,571
I know you're in there.
464
00:22:03,571 --> 00:22:05,114
Now come out with
your hands up
465
00:22:05,156 --> 00:22:06,282
and you won't get hurt.
466
00:22:06,324 --> 00:22:08,910
LeBeau, don't be a fool.
467
00:22:08,910 --> 00:22:10,411
You haven't got a chance.
468
00:22:10,453 --> 00:22:12,789
I will count till three.
469
00:22:12,830 --> 00:22:14,749
If you do not come out,
470
00:22:14,749 --> 00:22:17,919
I will have the patrol fire.
471
00:22:17,919 --> 00:22:19,545
Prepare to fire.
472
00:22:21,089 --> 00:22:22,632
All right, LeBeau.
473
00:22:22,674 --> 00:22:24,425
At the count of three.
474
00:22:24,467 --> 00:22:27,053
One... two... three.
475
00:22:27,095 --> 00:22:28,888
Don't hurt him.
476
00:22:28,930 --> 00:22:31,599
He makes marvelous strudel.
477
00:22:31,641 --> 00:22:32,684
Oh, shut up.
478
00:22:32,725 --> 00:22:33,768
Fire!
479
00:22:38,314 --> 00:22:40,066
Cease fire!
480
00:22:42,110 --> 00:22:44,654
Get London working
on that right away, huh?
481
00:22:44,696 --> 00:22:45,697
Right.
482
00:22:45,738 --> 00:22:47,573
Let's get
this blanket on him.
483
00:22:50,618 --> 00:22:52,578
Nice going, Carter.
Nice going.
484
00:22:53,621 --> 00:22:55,206
There you are, champ.
485
00:22:55,248 --> 00:22:56,958
You did
a great job.
486
00:22:56,958 --> 00:22:59,127
He's got an affinity
for water.
487
00:22:59,168 --> 00:23:00,503
A natural frogman.
488
00:23:00,545 --> 00:23:02,422
Be a smash in the Navy.
489
00:23:02,463 --> 00:23:05,049
If they ask for him, I'll have
to sign the transfer papers.
490
00:23:08,219 --> 00:23:09,971
If you guys don't mind,
491
00:23:10,012 --> 00:23:11,597
I'll see myself home.
492
00:23:24,986 --> 00:23:26,446
Colonel Hogan,
I'm not in...
493
00:23:26,487 --> 00:23:28,114
Newkirk, what are you
doing here?
494
00:23:28,156 --> 00:23:30,199
I was just inspecting
your windows, sir.
495
00:23:30,241 --> 00:23:32,076
Out. Dismissed.
496
00:23:33,494 --> 00:23:36,622
Commandant, you knew about
the escape in advance.
497
00:23:36,664 --> 00:23:38,249
30 days in the cooler
is too stiff.
498
00:23:38,291 --> 00:23:40,293
The man did try to escape.
499
00:23:40,334 --> 00:23:42,336
But I tipped you off.
500
00:23:42,336 --> 00:23:44,672
And what's more,
LeBeau stole those spoons
501
00:23:44,672 --> 00:23:47,216
so he could finance himself
once he got out.
502
00:23:47,258 --> 00:23:50,052
Now, nobody steals the property
of the Third Reich
503
00:23:50,094 --> 00:23:51,387
and gets away with it!
504
00:23:53,181 --> 00:23:54,724
The spoons.
505
00:23:54,765 --> 00:23:56,851
Will wonders never cease.
506
00:23:56,851 --> 00:23:57,935
But how did they...?
507
00:23:57,977 --> 00:23:59,312
Good fairies must have returned
them during the night.
508
00:24:01,147 --> 00:24:02,523
I knew I would get them back.
509
00:24:02,565 --> 00:24:04,066
Yeah, you've had
a big week, sir.
510
00:24:04,150 --> 00:24:05,526
The spoons have
been returned,
511
00:24:05,568 --> 00:24:07,445
you recaptured the
prisoner, we struck water.
512
00:24:07,487 --> 00:24:10,198
Come on now, reduce
LeBeau's sentence.
513
00:24:10,239 --> 00:24:12,074
All right,
15 days in the cooler.
514
00:24:12,158 --> 00:24:14,535
Come on, Commandant,
that's not like you.
515
00:24:14,577 --> 00:24:16,537
You're so strong
and compassionate
516
00:24:16,579 --> 00:24:18,748
and efficient
and likable and warm
517
00:24:18,789 --> 00:24:20,958
and human
and just and fair.
518
00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:24,295
Now, come on, you can
afford to make a gesture.
519
00:24:24,337 --> 00:24:27,340
Why, thank you
for the compliments, Hogan.
520
00:24:27,381 --> 00:24:30,426
One week... and believe me
it's not easy for me
521
00:24:30,468 --> 00:24:31,886
to reduce a sentence.
522
00:24:31,886 --> 00:24:33,512
Believe me, it's
not easy for me
523
00:24:33,554 --> 00:24:35,473
to think up those
compliments for you.
524
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