Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:27,542 --> 00:00:28,682
I'm awake.
2
00:00:36,276 --> 00:00:38,292
I think I feel nauseous.
3
00:00:41,917 --> 00:00:44,620
My heart is beating
like a bongo drum.
4
00:00:49,844 --> 00:00:51,844
That is it!
Stop it!
5
00:00:51,868 --> 00:00:53,868
That bloody dog!
6
00:00:55,649 --> 00:00:57,091
What do you say, pup?!
Want that?!
7
00:00:57,115 --> 00:00:58,181
Oh, that bloody dog!
8
00:00:58,206 --> 00:01:01,440
Dad's trying to kill the neighbor's dog
with chemicals from our rosebush sprayer.
9
00:01:01,464 --> 00:01:02,839
Eat that and that!
10
00:01:03,729 --> 00:01:04,643
What are you doing?!
11
00:01:04,667 --> 00:01:07,193
- What do you got? I nearly had him!
- Just stop!
12
00:01:07,218 --> 00:01:08,961
Mum doesn't think
that's such a good idea.
13
00:01:08,986 --> 00:01:12,160
Get inside! Get inside!
Get inside! get!
14
00:01:13,833 --> 00:01:16,536
Maybe boarding school
won't be so bad after all.
15
00:01:49,216 --> 00:01:51,169
♪ we will all strive
hard and true ♪
16
00:01:51,194 --> 00:01:52,809
♪ to be honest men ♪
17
00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:55,200
♪ we will strive to be true ♪
18
00:01:57,636 --> 00:02:01,206
♪ but in the end,
I'll... says ♪
19
00:02:01,230 --> 00:02:03,651
♪ will we ever see it through? ♪
20
00:02:05,461 --> 00:02:09,336
♪ now, I climb the hills of
heat where I'm dreaming ♪
21
00:02:10,990 --> 00:02:11,990
Oh!
22
00:02:13,709 --> 00:02:17,396
♪ will I never hear
this web of misery? ♪
23
00:02:18,044 --> 00:02:21,004
♪ never give up, ... ♪
24
00:02:24,265 --> 00:02:26,453
I was hoping we'd blend in.
25
00:02:32,026 --> 00:02:33,774
But it feels like the
Boswell Wilkie Circus
26
00:02:33,799 --> 00:02:35,260
just pulled into town.
27
00:02:36,354 --> 00:02:39,643
- Milton.
- Milton, of course.
28
00:02:44,636 --> 00:02:46,128
He's quite the
little cricket star
29
00:02:46,153 --> 00:02:47,619
and a prefect at
his primary school,
30
00:02:47,644 --> 00:02:49,294
and he's got a full scholarship.
31
00:02:49,319 --> 00:02:51,853
Oh, and he sings like an angel.
32
00:02:51,998 --> 00:02:54,411
Don't you, my china plate?
33
00:02:54,500 --> 00:02:55,656
Head of the choir.
34
00:02:55,961 --> 00:02:57,343
I like choir boys.
35
00:02:58,944 --> 00:03:01,141
This is registration.
36
00:03:01,625 --> 00:03:03,281
Hey, look at this.
37
00:03:10,583 --> 00:03:12,069
Well, this is nice, eh?
38
00:03:13,049 --> 00:03:14,306
My new home.
39
00:03:15,548 --> 00:03:18,172
It smells of old socks
and floor varnish.
40
00:03:20,546 --> 00:03:21,546
Hey!
41
00:03:21,997 --> 00:03:23,280
Settle down!
42
00:03:25,562 --> 00:03:27,398
I'm sure I'll never fit in.
43
00:03:31,114 --> 00:03:33,076
At least I'm not the only one.
44
00:03:39,317 --> 00:03:41,137
Look at all the blacks in here.
45
00:03:43,358 --> 00:03:44,760
Quiet, please.
46
00:03:46,125 --> 00:03:49,765
Good morning, boys,
ladies, and gentlemen.
47
00:03:50,702 --> 00:03:52,093
I am the headmaster...
48
00:03:52,118 --> 00:03:54,188
The headmaster…
nickname, "The Glock."
49
00:03:54,213 --> 00:03:56,258
My name is Mr. Glockenspheel.
50
00:03:59,750 --> 00:04:01,265
Which is no laughing matter.
51
00:04:01,479 --> 00:04:03,462
Love you so much, sweetheart!
52
00:04:06,223 --> 00:04:09,371
Remember, my boy,
never apologize for anything.
53
00:04:09,687 --> 00:04:12,796
Even the queen has
to shit once a day, eh?
54
00:04:18,249 --> 00:04:20,859
Bye-bye, my darling!
I'll miss you so much!
55
00:04:33,535 --> 00:04:35,317
Tomorrow, it all begins.
56
00:04:36,625 --> 00:04:40,078
Maybe I'll die in my sleep
and miss it completely.
57
00:04:42,106 --> 00:04:43,262
Lights out!
58
00:04:57,190 --> 00:04:58,190
Mum!
59
00:05:08,356 --> 00:05:10,934
Boys, boys, boys!
60
00:05:29,250 --> 00:05:30,687
What do we have here?
61
00:05:31,385 --> 00:05:34,348
Looks like a rugged soaker
with an eating disorder!
62
00:05:34,479 --> 00:05:37,315
It's like… it's like a spud!
63
00:05:37,448 --> 00:05:42,206
- Spuddy!
- Spuddy!
64
00:05:45,625 --> 00:05:47,578
Everyone in school
has a nickname.
65
00:05:48,195 --> 00:05:49,679
Mine is now "Spud"
66
00:05:50,149 --> 00:05:53,273
Because my willy is tiny and
my balls haven't dropped yet.
67
00:06:00,671 --> 00:06:03,067
If I'm going to have any
chance of surviving at this school,
68
00:06:03,092 --> 00:06:04,952
I have to get in with the crowd.
69
00:06:06,620 --> 00:06:09,932
Especially Robert Black…
nickname, "Rambo,"
70
00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:12,350
the self-appointed
king of the dorm.
71
00:06:12,375 --> 00:06:14,140
He includes enough
swearing in every sentence
72
00:06:14,165 --> 00:06:15,600
to show he means business,
73
00:06:15,773 --> 00:06:19,516
and is to be heartily
respected and hero-worshipped.
74
00:06:21,057 --> 00:06:23,422
I'm going to have to make
friends with Rambo's friends
75
00:06:23,446 --> 00:06:25,570
like Charlie Hooper.
76
00:06:27,645 --> 00:06:29,777
Nickname, "Mad Dog."
77
00:06:30,105 --> 00:06:33,823
Whose main hobbies seem
to be destruction and death.
78
00:06:34,781 --> 00:06:38,103
Or I'm gonna have to be a
sports hero like Simon Brown.
79
00:06:38,128 --> 00:06:40,413
Nickname, "Simon Brown."
80
00:06:41,375 --> 00:06:42,843
Or I'll have to go overseas
81
00:06:42,868 --> 00:06:45,037
and buy lots of
banned porno mags
82
00:06:45,062 --> 00:06:46,362
like Al Greenstein.
83
00:06:46,387 --> 00:06:47,418
Nickname, "Boggo."
84
00:06:47,442 --> 00:06:48,887
Busted!
Busted!
85
00:06:49,078 --> 00:06:51,836
Apparently, he's a
full-on sex-maniac,
86
00:06:52,022 --> 00:06:54,241
which I think is a good thing.
87
00:06:54,265 --> 00:06:56,265
♪ Na, na-na, na ♪
88
00:06:56,289 --> 00:06:59,429
♪ na, na-na, na ♪
89
00:06:59,453 --> 00:07:02,539
♪ hey, hey, hey ♪
90
00:07:02,563 --> 00:07:05,797
♪ he's a wanker! ♪
91
00:07:10,588 --> 00:07:12,433
18, 19, 20...
92
00:07:12,458 --> 00:07:14,918
Or I'll have to break
the school farting record.
93
00:07:14,943 --> 00:07:18,654
...21, 22, 23, 24,
94
00:07:18,679 --> 00:07:20,558
25.38 seconds!
95
00:07:20,583 --> 00:07:23,020
Currently held by
Sidney Sebecco Scott.
96
00:07:23,192 --> 00:07:24,887
Nickname, "Fatty."
97
00:07:26,625 --> 00:07:28,525
Thank god for Henry Barker.
98
00:07:28,549 --> 00:07:30,437
Nickname, "Gecko."
99
00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:34,203
And Vern Blackadder.
100
00:07:34,228 --> 00:07:36,054
Nickname, "Rain Man."
101
00:07:36,079 --> 00:07:38,539
If it wasn't for them,
I'm sure they'd be picking on me.
102
00:07:38,563 --> 00:07:39,563
Pile on!
103
00:07:41,891 --> 00:07:42,891
Pile on!
104
00:07:45,266 --> 00:07:46,266
Pile on!
105
00:07:46,890 --> 00:07:49,038
My new home is like a war zone.
106
00:07:51,226 --> 00:07:53,945
I have an uneasy feeling
that my time is coming.
107
00:07:54,805 --> 00:07:55,805
Pile on!
108
00:07:57,792 --> 00:08:00,211
Together, everyone
calls us "The Crazy Eight."
109
00:08:00,235 --> 00:08:02,784
What the hell is going on?!
Off, off!
110
00:08:03,276 --> 00:08:04,276
Up!
111
00:08:14,604 --> 00:08:15,721
Who started this?
112
00:08:16,222 --> 00:08:17,222
Hmm?
113
00:08:22,645 --> 00:08:23,895
What's your name, boy?
114
00:08:24,247 --> 00:08:25,247
John Milton.
115
00:08:25,272 --> 00:08:26,756
John Milton, sir!
116
00:08:27,443 --> 00:08:28,678
John Milton, sir.
117
00:08:29,572 --> 00:08:31,252
Uh, well, out with it.
118
00:08:33,737 --> 00:08:35,159
I really don't know, sir.
119
00:08:39,606 --> 00:08:40,606
All right.
120
00:08:41,301 --> 00:08:42,170
Fine.
121
00:08:42,195 --> 00:08:44,718
As of this second,
122
00:08:45,514 --> 00:08:47,928
All of your privileges
have been revoked.
123
00:08:48,674 --> 00:08:50,837
Next time, I will
not be so lenient.
124
00:08:51,903 --> 00:08:53,590
Take him to the san.
125
00:09:02,708 --> 00:09:04,168
It wasn't your fault.
126
00:09:04,667 --> 00:09:07,620
I wasn't sure walking with
Gecko was good for my survival.
127
00:09:08,193 --> 00:09:11,444
I can't be seen being friendly
with the uncoolest guy in the school.
128
00:09:17,815 --> 00:09:19,874
This place is like a madhouse.
129
00:09:19,930 --> 00:09:22,273
There's always someone
out to get you, laugh at you,
130
00:09:22,297 --> 00:09:24,922
or make you feel
like an idiot or a cunt.
131
00:09:25,765 --> 00:09:27,359
Don't you think, Milton?
132
00:09:35,840 --> 00:09:37,411
This better be serious.
133
00:09:41,856 --> 00:09:42,856
Thanks, Milton.
134
00:09:55,156 --> 00:09:57,093
Take those raw materials.
135
00:10:05,863 --> 00:10:06,933
Now we're talking.
136
00:10:06,958 --> 00:10:08,833
I would never see that.
137
00:10:12,973 --> 00:10:14,973
You don't need to show them.
138
00:10:21,474 --> 00:10:24,426
I don't remember
inviting you here, Spuddy.
139
00:10:26,208 --> 00:10:30,317
Spud couldn't wank if he had a pair
of tweezers and a magnifying glass.
140
00:10:30,973 --> 00:10:33,724
He couldn't find them with
directions and a road map.
141
00:10:34,310 --> 00:10:35,607
His balls...
142
00:10:45,039 --> 00:10:46,496
It is not fair.
143
00:10:47,074 --> 00:10:48,777
Even Gecko has hairs.
144
00:10:51,250 --> 00:10:53,078
I wonder when I
can start wanking.
145
00:11:01,632 --> 00:11:03,304
I wonder what suicide is like.
146
00:11:03,329 --> 00:11:06,324
Gentlemen, these are
my seven commandments.
147
00:11:06,333 --> 00:11:08,677
- Mr. Wilson, our housemaster.
- One,...
148
00:11:09,233 --> 00:11:11,739
thou shall always
obey those in authority.
149
00:11:11,764 --> 00:11:13,329
Nickname, "Spare Rib."
150
00:11:13,354 --> 00:11:16,683
Number two, thou shall not
behave in a depraved fashion.
151
00:11:16,708 --> 00:11:19,528
Rambo told us that a
lion bit off half his shoulder.
152
00:11:19,552 --> 00:11:20,684
... a piece of his
shoulder just...
153
00:11:20,708 --> 00:11:23,905
And the doctors had to take
out one of his ribs to repair it.
154
00:11:28,864 --> 00:11:29,864
Five,...
155
00:11:30,309 --> 00:11:32,082
thou shall not
play with thyself...
156
00:11:32,678 --> 00:11:33,944
or with each other.
157
00:11:34,542 --> 00:11:35,542
Number six,
158
00:11:36,182 --> 00:11:37,561
thou shall not play darts.
159
00:11:37,586 --> 00:11:40,242
A bit strange considering
the lack of a dart board.
160
00:11:40,250 --> 00:11:41,781
And finally, number seven...
161
00:11:41,806 --> 00:11:43,634
don't even think
of doing this...
162
00:11:44,182 --> 00:11:45,614
thou shall not...
163
00:11:46,403 --> 00:11:47,853
go night swimming.
164
00:11:49,625 --> 00:11:50,984
School begins.
165
00:11:51,009 --> 00:11:52,984
I have no idea
where anything is.
166
00:11:54,750 --> 00:11:57,850
Every siren terrifies me
'cause unlike everyone else,
167
00:11:57,875 --> 00:12:00,226
I never seem to be
sure what happens next.
168
00:12:00,437 --> 00:12:02,318
I felt a huge lump in my throat.
169
00:12:02,343 --> 00:12:04,123
I was about to start sobbing.
170
00:12:04,147 --> 00:12:05,184
Milton!
171
00:12:05,208 --> 00:12:06,873
P.J. Luthuli, our head of house.
172
00:12:06,898 --> 00:12:08,272
No running in the quad.
173
00:12:09,414 --> 00:12:12,781
I think that's the first time I've
ever taken orders from a black man.
174
00:12:13,804 --> 00:12:14,804
I'm lost.
175
00:12:16,024 --> 00:12:17,024
This way.
176
00:12:18,729 --> 00:12:21,674
Dad would be checking for
his wallet round about now.
177
00:12:22,939 --> 00:12:26,548
♪ would you like to be
a schoolboy again? ♪
178
00:12:26,572 --> 00:12:27,751
♪ oh, oh ♪
179
00:12:28,305 --> 00:12:31,797
♪ would you like to be
a schoolboy again? ♪
180
00:12:31,821 --> 00:12:33,086
♪ no, no ♪
181
00:12:33,110 --> 00:12:36,477
♪ would you like to be at
school with some friends? ♪
182
00:12:36,976 --> 00:12:38,415
♪ no, no ♪
183
00:12:38,439 --> 00:12:41,970
♪ would you like to
be a schoolboy again?
184
00:12:45,981 --> 00:12:48,063
Good God.
185
00:12:49,958 --> 00:12:50,958
Horror.
186
00:12:51,403 --> 00:12:52,403
Horror.
187
00:12:53,075 --> 00:12:54,075
Horror!
188
00:12:54,711 --> 00:12:59,461
Tongue nor heart cannot
conceive nor name thee!
189
00:13:00,831 --> 00:13:03,432
May all the trumpets speak!
190
00:13:03,729 --> 00:13:06,096
Give them all breath, those
191
00:13:06,173 --> 00:13:08,735
clamorous harbingers
192
00:13:08,782 --> 00:13:10,375
of blood!
193
00:13:10,961 --> 00:13:12,961
And death!
194
00:13:16,042 --> 00:13:18,489
With me, you will
be learning English.
195
00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:22,868
Not the, uh, rapturous ramblings
196
00:13:22,893 --> 00:13:25,845
of some self-obsessed
literary queen...
197
00:13:25,870 --> 00:13:27,041
Exhibit one.
198
00:13:30,328 --> 00:13:31,750
Henry James.
199
00:13:33,973 --> 00:13:35,528
Exhibit two...
200
00:13:35,981 --> 00:13:39,746
Virginia Woolf and
Agatha Christie!
201
00:13:39,807 --> 00:13:45,681
Frustrated, sex-crazed carpet
munchers with underarm fur!
202
00:13:48,125 --> 00:13:51,095
Don't get me wrong, boys.
I have nothing against lesbians,
203
00:13:51,120 --> 00:13:52,828
nothing at all.
204
00:13:54,238 --> 00:13:58,267
In fact, I'd like to give them
all a jolly good rogering.
205
00:13:58,292 --> 00:13:59,331
Mr. Edly.
206
00:13:59,355 --> 00:14:01,130
Nickname, "The Guv."
207
00:14:01,154 --> 00:14:04,224
I reckon he's as mad as my family,
maybe even madder.
208
00:14:04,249 --> 00:14:10,367
however, I will be teaching
you malodorous meerkats
209
00:14:10,392 --> 00:14:12,159
how to be men!
210
00:14:12,896 --> 00:14:17,721
You will learn about
women and sex.
211
00:14:18,583 --> 00:14:22,401
And if I do my job right,
when you leave this class,
212
00:14:22,426 --> 00:14:25,042
you will be the kind
of man that men envy
213
00:14:25,067 --> 00:14:32,236
and the kind of man
that women cannot resist.
214
00:14:33,672 --> 00:14:36,611
I reckon English is going
to be my favorite subject.
215
00:14:36,635 --> 00:14:39,100
"...brightness of her cheek
would shame those stars..."
216
00:14:39,125 --> 00:14:42,357
I hope the Guv will teach me
to score girls like Mrs. Wilson,
217
00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:45,009
Spare Rib's wife.
Nickname, "Eve".
218
00:14:45,034 --> 00:14:47,069
'cause Eve came
from Adam's spare rib.
219
00:14:47,093 --> 00:14:49,054
"...bird would sing and
think it were not night."
220
00:14:49,078 --> 00:14:51,336
I felt a strange shiver
221
00:14:51,361 --> 00:14:54,394
I swear... I nearly wet my pants.
222
00:14:54,418 --> 00:14:57,459
"... that I might
touch that cheek!"
223
00:14:57,483 --> 00:14:58,534
Ma'am?
224
00:14:58,559 --> 00:14:59,667
Yes, Robert?
225
00:14:59,692 --> 00:15:01,448
I think you dropped your pen.
226
00:15:14,833 --> 00:15:17,002
Every Thursday
night is video night.
227
00:15:17,178 --> 00:15:20,204
This week, it's "Pretty Woman"
with Julia Roberts.
228
00:15:21,083 --> 00:15:23,408
She plays this
really hot prostitute.
229
00:15:24,607 --> 00:15:25,895
When I leave school,
230
00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:29,533
I'm definitely gonna drive around,
looking for prostitutes.
231
00:15:30,628 --> 00:15:33,467
Oh, man, come on!
232
00:15:38,350 --> 00:15:40,553
You can watch your video later!
233
00:15:42,017 --> 00:15:44,700
Good evening. The state
president, Mr. F.W. de Klerk,
234
00:15:44,725 --> 00:15:47,177
opened parliament today
with what's being described
235
00:15:47,202 --> 00:15:50,873
as a watershed speech
in South African politics.
236
00:15:50,978 --> 00:15:53,493
President de Klerk's
announcements included
237
00:15:53,517 --> 00:15:56,158
the unbanning of the
African National Congress...
238
00:15:56,183 --> 00:15:59,267
Dad says that the A.N.C.
are a bunch of communists.
239
00:15:59,647 --> 00:16:03,058
I have no idea what a communist is,
but I'm terrified of them.
240
00:16:03,083 --> 00:16:05,941
... that the government
has taken a firm decision
241
00:16:05,966 --> 00:16:08,581
to release Mr. Mandela
unconditionally.
242
00:16:08,605 --> 00:16:09,742
I am serious...
243
00:16:10,111 --> 00:16:12,582
I wonder if Mandela
was ever a Spud?
244
00:16:13,167 --> 00:16:14,767
Well, there goes the country.
245
00:16:14,975 --> 00:16:16,917
... on the date
of his release...
246
00:16:16,942 --> 00:16:18,640
Pike, the school bully.
247
00:16:18,664 --> 00:16:21,991
... unfortunately, a further
short message of trying...
248
00:16:31,140 --> 00:16:33,756
...take your place at
the negotiating table,
249
00:16:33,781 --> 00:16:36,726
together with the government
and other leaders...
250
00:16:36,750 --> 00:16:39,276
I think P.J. Luthuli
is my new hero.
251
00:16:41,484 --> 00:16:45,137
I suddenly felt wickedly guilty
about being a white person.
252
00:16:50,158 --> 00:16:52,909
My quest for sporting
glory is not going so well.
253
00:16:52,917 --> 00:16:57,522
Milton, that forward defensive
was as porous as a whore's drawers.
254
00:16:57,546 --> 00:16:58,546
Yes, sir.
255
00:17:07,822 --> 00:17:08,724
Brilliant.
256
00:17:08,749 --> 00:17:10,829
Let me declare
you all officially
257
00:17:10,854 --> 00:17:15,017
the crappiest bunch of spastics bit's
ever been my misfortune to coach.
258
00:17:15,042 --> 00:17:18,271
Most of you have a better
chance of falling pregnant
259
00:17:18,296 --> 00:17:21,094
via wind pollination than
becoming decent cricketers.
260
00:17:21,119 --> 00:17:25,085
Now, sun's over the
yardarm, so bugger off!
261
00:17:28,527 --> 00:17:31,719
Rain Man, Spud,
boys, my bed now.
262
00:17:35,375 --> 00:17:36,375
Spud.
263
00:17:37,075 --> 00:17:40,271
Do you want everyone in the school
to think you're a spineless wimp?
264
00:17:40,295 --> 00:17:41,655
Spineless wimp.
265
00:17:43,479 --> 00:17:44,859
Didn't think so.
266
00:17:44,883 --> 00:17:46,080
Me neither.
267
00:17:49,567 --> 00:17:52,517
That's why I'm inviting
you all on a mission, boys.
268
00:17:52,773 --> 00:17:54,391
It's gonna be dangerous.
269
00:17:54,416 --> 00:17:56,071
It's going to be insane.
270
00:17:57,750 --> 00:17:59,607
We could all get expelled.
271
00:18:00,656 --> 00:18:01,995
Or even die.
272
00:18:04,510 --> 00:18:10,582
So, who's up for a highly illegal,
crazy-mad night swim?
273
00:18:10,684 --> 00:18:12,932
Yeah, night swim!
274
00:18:15,687 --> 00:18:18,724
I don't want to.
Thank you very much.
275
00:18:22,233 --> 00:18:25,626
But, Gecko, there
can be no witnesses.
276
00:18:26,667 --> 00:18:28,792
It's all for one
and one for all.
277
00:18:29,647 --> 00:18:30,647
Spud?
278
00:18:31,725 --> 00:18:33,055
No witnesses?
279
00:18:36,762 --> 00:18:38,092
No witnesses.
280
00:18:48,116 --> 00:18:50,642
- Here we go.
- Ow, you're so cold.
281
00:18:50,666 --> 00:18:53,321
- Come on, this way.
- Guys, go for it.
282
00:18:59,955 --> 00:19:00,955
Spud,
283
00:19:01,153 --> 00:19:02,604
I swear to god.
284
00:19:05,340 --> 00:19:06,340
Let's go.
285
00:19:25,615 --> 00:19:27,981
Easy, boy, easy, boy!
286
00:19:38,664 --> 00:19:40,664
Go, go!
287
00:20:54,379 --> 00:20:55,379
Wait!
288
00:20:56,029 --> 00:20:57,426
Through that window.
289
00:21:21,250 --> 00:21:22,250
We did it!
290
00:21:22,491 --> 00:21:23,491
We did it!
291
00:21:35,448 --> 00:21:36,758
Come here.
292
00:21:40,989 --> 00:21:42,989
And there were light
beams everywhere!
293
00:21:43,083 --> 00:21:44,089
Guys, guys.
294
00:21:45,664 --> 00:21:46,664
Where's Fatty?
295
00:22:00,746 --> 00:22:01,746
Guys.
296
00:22:07,938 --> 00:22:11,175
You two, go see if you
can get him out. Quiet.
297
00:22:30,208 --> 00:22:33,325
Oh, my god.
We're all going to get expelled.
298
00:22:33,350 --> 00:22:35,285
Shut up. Just shut up.
299
00:22:35,310 --> 00:22:37,468
We're not going to get expelled.
300
00:22:37,493 --> 00:22:41,455
For god sakes,
stop being such a woman.
301
00:23:35,833 --> 00:23:38,495
In the end, it was Rambo
who saved the day.
302
00:23:38,500 --> 00:23:40,892
He convinced everyone that
Fatty had a religious conversion,
303
00:23:40,917 --> 00:23:42,593
and got stuck in
the chapel window
304
00:23:42,618 --> 00:23:45,098
while trying to
visit the holy spirit.
305
00:23:51,727 --> 00:23:53,239
It's a miracle!
306
00:24:07,425 --> 00:24:08,892
That was wicked.
307
00:24:09,486 --> 00:24:12,184
Hey, everyone, front and center!
308
00:24:18,500 --> 00:24:24,084
Don't think that I don't know exactly
what you chaps were up to last night.
309
00:24:26,542 --> 00:24:28,309
What are you talking about, sir?
310
00:24:28,334 --> 00:24:29,744
We were all fast
asleep in our beds.
311
00:24:29,769 --> 00:24:31,414
I mean, you can
ask any one of us.
312
00:24:31,439 --> 00:24:32,574
We were sleeping, sir.
313
00:24:32,598 --> 00:24:35,007
- We were all fast asleep.
- Is it?
314
00:24:36,528 --> 00:24:39,077
Hmm? Milton?
315
00:24:39,156 --> 00:24:41,420
Is that so, Milton?
Huh?
316
00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:47,117
For god sakes, Milton,
a boy almost died! Now,...
317
00:24:47,167 --> 00:24:50,988
did you or did you not
go night swimming?
318
00:24:57,603 --> 00:24:58,603
Right.
319
00:24:59,029 --> 00:25:02,549
Six for each of you after you
return from the long weekend.
320
00:25:03,252 --> 00:25:06,850
Enjoy your time away, gentlemen.
I'll be thinking of you.
321
00:25:08,293 --> 00:25:09,293
Great.
322
00:25:09,537 --> 00:25:11,367
Thanks a lot, Spuddy.
323
00:25:12,733 --> 00:25:14,853
Yeah, good shot, Spud.
324
00:25:20,843 --> 00:25:24,139
The 158-kilometer journey
home seemed endless.
325
00:25:24,745 --> 00:25:27,145
And Fatty's breath
smelt of fish paste.
326
00:25:28,199 --> 00:25:29,553
I didn't mind.
327
00:25:30,140 --> 00:25:31,737
I was going home.
328
00:25:40,292 --> 00:25:41,992
Hurry up and get in the car!
329
00:25:42,126 --> 00:25:45,043
Your father couldn't be here
because he's finally lost his mind!
330
00:25:45,067 --> 00:25:47,475
Gonna kill him when I get home!
331
00:25:47,500 --> 00:25:49,323
Mum wasn't exaggerating.
332
00:25:49,513 --> 00:25:52,687
Dad has converted our
house into an army bunker.
333
00:25:58,167 --> 00:26:00,467
Open these gates,
or so help me god!
334
00:26:00,492 --> 00:26:02,035
What is this nonsense?!
335
00:26:02,060 --> 00:26:03,437
Pegs on the windows?!
Are you mad?!
336
00:26:03,462 --> 00:26:05,569
I got Martin and Denise
coming from book club!
337
00:26:05,593 --> 00:26:08,119
How are we supposed to get in?!
338
00:26:08,144 --> 00:26:09,666
And take this barbed
wire off the gate!
339
00:26:09,691 --> 00:26:11,295
That will leave us
vulnerable to attack!
340
00:26:11,320 --> 00:26:12,735
Attack, attack?!
Who's attacking us?!
341
00:26:12,759 --> 00:26:14,052
The communists are attacking us!
342
00:26:14,077 --> 00:26:15,376
- Oh, is it?!
- Yes, it is!
343
00:26:15,401 --> 00:26:16,603
You know what?! You make me...
344
00:26:16,627 --> 00:26:19,650
- You make me sick!
- All the time! All the time!
345
00:26:20,292 --> 00:26:22,696
Maybe school
isn't so bad after all.
346
00:26:24,680 --> 00:26:26,098
Dad's gone mad.
347
00:26:26,123 --> 00:26:29,966
He reckons we'll have to live off the
land when the country goes up in smoke.
348
00:26:30,625 --> 00:26:32,718
He's fired innocence, our maid.
349
00:26:32,743 --> 00:26:34,839
He thinks she
may be a terrorist.
350
00:26:34,863 --> 00:26:37,253
♪ take a look at yourself ♪
351
00:26:37,660 --> 00:26:39,303
♪ take a look at the world ♪
352
00:26:39,328 --> 00:26:40,328
God!
353
00:26:40,352 --> 00:26:42,758
♪ see the mess that we're in ♪
354
00:26:43,149 --> 00:26:45,477
♪ don't go blaming yourself ♪
355
00:26:45,899 --> 00:26:48,258
♪ I can see what you see ♪
356
00:26:48,657 --> 00:26:50,985
♪ I can feel what you feel ♪
357
00:26:51,454 --> 00:26:53,743
♪ that thing is the truth ♪
358
00:26:54,665 --> 00:26:56,469
♪ and it's so real ♪
359
00:26:56,750 --> 00:26:58,785
Not sure if that's
living off the land.
360
00:26:58,965 --> 00:27:00,546
♪ other people ♪
361
00:27:02,681 --> 00:27:04,681
Put it there.
362
00:27:05,814 --> 00:27:07,642
And that's when I saw her...
363
00:27:07,749 --> 00:27:08,690
a girl so beautiful,
364
00:27:08,715 --> 00:27:11,891
a sharp pang shot through my
body and made my left leg go numb.
365
00:27:11,916 --> 00:27:13,822
Johnny, this is Marge's
daughter, Debbie.
366
00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:16,973
She said one word that
nearly flattened with its beauty.
367
00:27:16,997 --> 00:27:17,997
Hi.
368
00:27:18,843 --> 00:27:21,858
I promised Debs a swim
in your pool if that's all right.
369
00:27:23,280 --> 00:27:24,522
♪ I like ♪
370
00:27:29,915 --> 00:27:31,411
♪ with you ♪
371
00:27:32,825 --> 00:27:36,536
♪ oh, your mouth feels so warm ♪
372
00:27:36,560 --> 00:27:37,943
♪ I like ♪
373
00:27:43,196 --> 00:27:44,737
♪ with you ♪
374
00:27:46,529 --> 00:27:47,983
Come in, Johnny.
375
00:27:48,419 --> 00:27:49,561
It's warm.
376
00:28:42,375 --> 00:28:44,756
I think I'm in love
with a mermaid.
377
00:28:54,604 --> 00:28:56,215
I'm really sorry.
378
00:28:56,698 --> 00:28:57,879
Just forget it.
379
00:29:09,136 --> 00:29:10,136
Next!
380
00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:21,968
Just think of the
best thing in your life,
381
00:29:21,992 --> 00:29:23,866
and you'll beat the pain.
382
00:29:30,447 --> 00:29:31,447
Next!
383
00:29:37,124 --> 00:29:39,137
Hand to chair, grit your teeth.
384
00:29:43,369 --> 00:29:44,369
Blazer.
385
00:29:47,667 --> 00:29:48,954
I'm not gonna
lie to you, Milton.
386
00:29:48,979 --> 00:29:50,979
This will hurt you far
more than it will me.
387
00:30:07,250 --> 00:30:09,185
Kiss me, Johnny.
388
00:30:11,329 --> 00:30:13,329
Oh, that's... I'm redder.
389
00:30:26,189 --> 00:30:28,189
My ass is still burning.
390
00:30:28,871 --> 00:30:30,412
Yours is so bad
391
00:30:37,031 --> 00:30:40,667
If we are marked to die, it is
enough to do our country loss,
392
00:30:40,692 --> 00:30:46,165
and if to live, the fewer men,
the greater share of honor.
393
00:30:46,251 --> 00:30:49,910
Ah, we few, we happy few,
we band of brothers.
394
00:30:49,935 --> 00:30:56,201
For he today who sheds his
blood with me shall be my brother!
395
00:30:59,818 --> 00:31:01,533
Come again, please, sir?
396
00:31:06,047 --> 00:31:07,434
Johnny! Here, Johnny!
397
00:31:07,458 --> 00:31:08,897
- Whoo!
- Johnny!
398
00:31:10,327 --> 00:31:11,327
Thataboy!
399
00:31:11,352 --> 00:31:13,330
That's my boy!
Swing back!
400
00:31:17,523 --> 00:31:19,356
Don't try anything fancy.
401
00:31:31,845 --> 00:31:33,462
Yeah, a good one!
402
00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:43,806
Two rand for a grab,
403
00:31:44,105 --> 00:31:46,949
five bucks if you squeeze breasts,
404
00:31:47,167 --> 00:31:51,831
and ten bucks if you
touch her holiest of holies.
405
00:31:52,566 --> 00:31:55,085
Five bucks enters you
into the competition.
406
00:31:56,466 --> 00:31:57,466
I'm in.
407
00:32:10,087 --> 00:32:11,557
♪ we can dance if we want to ♪
408
00:32:11,582 --> 00:32:14,222
♪ we can leave
your friends behind ♪
409
00:32:14,247 --> 00:32:15,530
♪ 'cause your
friends don't dance ♪
410
00:32:15,555 --> 00:32:16,835
♪ and if they don't dance ♪
411
00:32:16,860 --> 00:32:18,860
♪ well, they're no
friends of mine ♪
412
00:32:18,884 --> 00:32:21,236
♪ say, we can go
where we want to ♪
413
00:32:21,260 --> 00:32:23,572
♪ a place where
they will never find ♪
414
00:32:23,597 --> 00:32:26,065
♪ and we can act like we
come from out of this world ♪
415
00:32:26,089 --> 00:32:28,089
♪ leave the real
one far behind ♪
416
00:32:28,471 --> 00:32:29,636
♪ we can dance ♪
417
00:32:29,660 --> 00:32:30,660
♪ and sing ♪
418
00:32:38,387 --> 00:32:40,237
♪ we can go where we want to ♪
419
00:32:40,261 --> 00:32:42,509
♪ the night is
young and so am I ♪
420
00:32:42,534 --> 00:32:45,072
♪ and we can dress real
neat from our hats to our feet ♪
421
00:32:45,097 --> 00:32:47,322
♪ then surprise them
with a victory cry ♪
422
00:32:47,346 --> 00:32:49,737
♪ say, we can
act if we want to ♪
423
00:32:53,042 --> 00:32:56,280
Saving the worst for last,
424
00:32:56,456 --> 00:32:58,194
would you stand up,
please, Milton?
425
00:33:02,691 --> 00:33:05,035
All of you, take a look
at this young man...
426
00:33:05,138 --> 00:33:08,146
fine example of what
women hunger for.
427
00:33:08,260 --> 00:33:11,838
being the only
one of you cretins...
428
00:33:13,270 --> 00:33:16,458
to score more than
50% on the assignment.
429
00:33:16,989 --> 00:33:17,989
You may sit.
430
00:33:18,975 --> 00:33:19,975
Thank you, sir.
431
00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:23,820
Now, I asked you to write on
influences in modern literature,
432
00:33:23,845 --> 00:33:28,168
and this is the best you rabid
monkeys could come up with?
433
00:33:29,661 --> 00:33:30,661
Fail!
434
00:33:30,973 --> 00:33:34,668
Not one of you offered
the greatest influence of all.
435
00:33:35,098 --> 00:33:36,098
I posit...
436
00:33:37,208 --> 00:33:38,884
if it wasn't for sex,
437
00:33:39,723 --> 00:33:41,100
if it wasn't for shagging
438
00:33:41,125 --> 00:33:43,351
and fornication and copulation
439
00:33:43,375 --> 00:33:45,726
and making the
two-backed beast...
440
00:33:46,458 --> 00:33:50,497
No book on this earth would
ever have been written, yes?
441
00:33:52,322 --> 00:33:53,080
Yes?
442
00:33:53,105 --> 00:33:54,847
Sir, what about the bible?
443
00:33:55,549 --> 00:33:56,549
Good question.
444
00:33:58,468 --> 00:33:59,468
Milton?
445
00:34:00,008 --> 00:34:01,008
The bible.
446
00:34:01,833 --> 00:34:02,833
Pure?
447
00:34:03,953 --> 00:34:04,953
Or sexy?
448
00:34:09,773 --> 00:34:12,187
My gran says it's full
of sodomy and incest
449
00:34:12,212 --> 00:34:13,821
and should have
an age restriction.
450
00:34:15,765 --> 00:34:16,765
Exactly!
451
00:34:18,425 --> 00:34:20,565
All right, you putrid pustules,
452
00:34:20,590 --> 00:34:22,135
Auf Wiedersehen.
453
00:34:25,780 --> 00:34:26,780
John.
454
00:34:27,274 --> 00:34:28,274
Yes, sir?
455
00:34:29,145 --> 00:34:31,864
Welcome to "Paradise Lost,"
Mr. Milton.
456
00:34:32,875 --> 00:34:37,312
Your grandmother sounds
like an interesting broad.
457
00:34:37,937 --> 00:34:38,937
Yes, sir.
458
00:34:39,421 --> 00:34:41,358
Actually, she's half mad, sir.
459
00:34:41,383 --> 00:34:44,461
She calls me "David" instead of "John,"
and we call her "Wombat."
460
00:34:44,799 --> 00:34:46,729
In fact, my whole
family's pretty nutty, sir.
461
00:34:48,458 --> 00:34:51,942
In that case, I have
the perfect book for you.
462
00:34:52,042 --> 00:34:54,674
Actually, it's not a book.
It's a play.
463
00:34:56,309 --> 00:35:00,043
They call it "Theater of the absurd."
464
00:35:02,958 --> 00:35:05,887
- Thank you very much, sir.
- Don't thank me, boy! Just read it!
465
00:35:06,687 --> 00:35:07,960
Then tell me what you think.
466
00:35:07,985 --> 00:35:09,523
I think it's a blast.
467
00:35:11,989 --> 00:35:13,958
Well, piss off, boy.
It's lunchtime.
468
00:35:14,503 --> 00:35:15,503
Of course, sir.
469
00:35:24,833 --> 00:35:26,848
I was hoping the play would
tell me everything about
470
00:35:26,873 --> 00:35:29,658
being a man and scoring girls.
471
00:35:30,229 --> 00:35:31,744
But it's a play about two tramps
472
00:35:31,769 --> 00:35:33,620
living in a ditch on
the side of the road.
473
00:35:34,652 --> 00:35:36,473
Waiting for a guy
called "Godot."
474
00:35:38,237 --> 00:35:39,307
Who never comes.
475
00:35:41,206 --> 00:35:42,420
It's wickedly odd.
476
00:36:16,302 --> 00:36:18,302
Yeah!
477
00:36:27,351 --> 00:36:28,429
This is it.
478
00:36:28,563 --> 00:36:30,736
Robert de Niro, watch out.
479
00:36:44,520 --> 00:36:45,879
Have you had enough, John?
480
00:36:46,131 --> 00:36:47,950
Yes, thank you, ma'am.
481
00:36:48,792 --> 00:36:51,579
You call me "Marla," hmm?
Oh!
482
00:36:53,833 --> 00:36:57,676
Who's the luckiest, dirty,
old bastard in the world, eh?
483
00:37:07,520 --> 00:37:09,083
Now, no more wine.
484
00:37:09,108 --> 00:37:10,569
Last glass, promise.
485
00:37:14,463 --> 00:37:16,641
Oh, god damn it, man, loosen up.
486
00:37:16,666 --> 00:37:18,548
I mean, you've been
sitting there all afternoon,
487
00:37:18,573 --> 00:37:20,047
stiff as the Queen mother!
488
00:37:20,072 --> 00:37:21,243
Have some wine.
489
00:37:21,364 --> 00:37:22,853
I'm sure I'm not allowed, sir.
490
00:37:22,878 --> 00:37:24,222
Nonsense.
Now...
491
00:37:24,885 --> 00:37:26,143
what did you think?
492
00:37:28,164 --> 00:37:28,906
About what?
493
00:37:28,931 --> 00:37:31,508
The book, the play.
Enlighten me.
494
00:37:38,667 --> 00:37:39,752
I don't know, sir.
495
00:37:41,617 --> 00:37:42,750
Oh, Johnno ...
496
00:37:45,125 --> 00:37:47,648
I'm not gonna have
to shout at you, am I?
497
00:37:47,807 --> 00:37:48,807
Just tell me.
498
00:37:55,409 --> 00:37:56,409
Nothing happens.
499
00:37:57,250 --> 00:37:58,250
Yes.
500
00:37:58,934 --> 00:38:00,879
Isn't that just like life, John?
501
00:38:02,417 --> 00:38:05,090
We all sit around,
waiting for something to happen, but...
502
00:38:05,614 --> 00:38:06,754
never does.
503
00:38:07,870 --> 00:38:09,979
And what are we waiting for?
God?
504
00:38:10,510 --> 00:38:11,510
Meaning?
505
00:38:13,708 --> 00:38:14,708
Death?
506
00:38:21,933 --> 00:38:23,706
Maybe we're waiting to grow up.
507
00:38:26,742 --> 00:38:28,250
But maybe we never do.
508
00:38:29,926 --> 00:38:31,348
Wise words, young man.
509
00:38:31,688 --> 00:38:32,817
I'll drink to that.
510
00:38:37,486 --> 00:38:39,502
Why do they call it absurd?
511
00:38:40,416 --> 00:38:41,924
It seems totally normal to me.
512
00:38:41,949 --> 00:38:48,136
Well, here we sit, surrounded
by some fairy-land fantasy, hmm?
513
00:38:48,875 --> 00:38:51,046
And the really
absurd thing is...
514
00:38:52,049 --> 00:38:54,463
most people don't
seem to notice.
515
00:38:55,776 --> 00:38:58,229
This school is the most
absurd place in the world.
516
00:38:58,670 --> 00:39:02,295
Yes, and I've been
teaching here for 27 years,
517
00:39:02,395 --> 00:39:04,973
an absurdist tramp...
518
00:39:06,066 --> 00:39:07,410
in a ditch...
519
00:39:09,396 --> 00:39:10,668
side of the road.
520
00:39:13,902 --> 00:39:14,902
Cheers, sir.
521
00:39:18,042 --> 00:39:19,832
My mother believes
522
00:39:20,423 --> 00:39:24,423
that god's greatest gift to
humanity was freedom of choice.
523
00:39:24,640 --> 00:39:27,001
Not a thing to be
taken lightly, hmm?
524
00:39:27,672 --> 00:39:29,086
Now, what?
525
00:39:29,388 --> 00:39:30,388
What?
526
00:39:34,009 --> 00:39:37,395
Ah, now, John, you ought to be
aware that this is without a doubt
527
00:39:37,420 --> 00:39:39,980
the best damn book a
man could ever have written.
528
00:39:40,004 --> 00:39:41,185
Ah, here we are.
529
00:39:41,210 --> 00:39:44,919
As far as I'm concerned, this is
proof positive that god exists,
530
00:39:44,943 --> 00:39:46,192
and trust me,
531
00:39:46,217 --> 00:39:50,562
those are strong words coming
from a devout atheist, Milton.
532
00:39:51,166 --> 00:39:52,166
Sir?!
533
00:39:54,919 --> 00:39:56,705
Ah, to be or not to be,
eh, Johnny?
534
00:39:56,729 --> 00:39:58,178
That is the question.
535
00:39:58,502 --> 00:40:02,501
Whether... whether
'tis nobler in the mind
536
00:40:02,526 --> 00:40:05,307
to suffer the
slings and arrows...
537
00:40:05,332 --> 00:40:06,332
John.
538
00:40:07,981 --> 00:40:09,683
I think it's time
to go home now.
539
00:40:09,708 --> 00:40:12,045
slings and arrows...
540
00:40:12,069 --> 00:40:13,673
slings what...
541
00:40:13,698 --> 00:40:15,133
What is it, darling?
542
00:40:15,158 --> 00:40:18,810
Um, outrageous fortune, my love.
543
00:40:19,804 --> 00:40:21,661
Outrageous fortune.
544
00:40:22,706 --> 00:40:23,706
Come on.
545
00:40:24,362 --> 00:40:25,362
Oh, yes.
546
00:40:25,387 --> 00:40:27,640
I probably should
have a lie down.
547
00:40:28,094 --> 00:40:29,094
Okay.
548
00:40:34,158 --> 00:40:36,158
♪ holy god ♪
549
00:40:36,183 --> 00:40:38,183
♪ holy lord ♪
550
00:40:38,208 --> 00:40:39,507
Pathetic!
551
00:40:40,001 --> 00:40:41,035
Next!
552
00:40:48,710 --> 00:40:51,980
Well, master Milton,
what are you singing?
553
00:40:52,257 --> 00:40:53,567
"Amazing Grace."
554
00:40:56,774 --> 00:41:00,266
♪ amazing grace ♪
555
00:41:00,758 --> 00:41:04,328
♪ how sweet the sound ♪
556
00:41:04,984 --> 00:41:06,586
♪ that saved ♪
557
00:41:07,141 --> 00:41:09,721
♪ a wretch like... ♪
558
00:41:09,746 --> 00:41:10,896
Thank you!
559
00:41:10,921 --> 00:41:11,921
Next!
560
00:41:13,875 --> 00:41:15,813
Thank you, Milton! Goodbye!
561
00:41:59,655 --> 00:42:01,389
I feel just like the hobbit...
562
00:42:01,642 --> 00:42:04,213
small and lonely.
563
00:42:05,284 --> 00:42:06,471
Just not hairy.
564
00:42:14,171 --> 00:42:16,171
When he talks about love,
565
00:42:16,196 --> 00:42:18,496
I think he means
a universal love.
566
00:42:20,829 --> 00:42:22,820
The state of emergency
has officially been lifted,
567
00:42:22,845 --> 00:42:26,369
this becoming a part of the unbanned
South African communist party.
568
00:42:26,508 --> 00:42:30,005
Holidays and everything
that used to make me happy
569
00:42:30,307 --> 00:42:31,762
doesn't matter anymore.
570
00:42:32,769 --> 00:42:36,367
I needed a master plan,
but I couldn't think of anything.
571
00:42:37,357 --> 00:42:39,002
At least Innocence is back.
572
00:42:39,194 --> 00:42:41,857
She took dad to the labor
court for unfair dismissal.
573
00:42:41,882 --> 00:42:44,397
Just there.
I told you.
574
00:42:44,584 --> 00:42:46,508
Now she has all the power.
575
00:42:46,778 --> 00:42:48,405
Just put it inside.
576
00:42:52,892 --> 00:42:55,683
Wombat is here for lunch...
Dad's nemesis.
577
00:42:56,155 --> 00:42:57,809
He says she's as
mean as cat shit
578
00:42:57,833 --> 00:42:59,351
and wouldn't sell
you ice in winter.
579
00:42:59,375 --> 00:43:00,696
She is as mean as cat shit
580
00:43:00,721 --> 00:43:02,984
and wouldn't sell
you ice in winter!
581
00:43:07,779 --> 00:43:09,788
Johnny, it's 11:00.
You can't lie in bed all day.
582
00:43:09,812 --> 00:43:10,812
Why not?
583
00:43:11,296 --> 00:43:13,008
Haven't you made any
nice friends at school
584
00:43:13,033 --> 00:43:15,151
that you can invite over, hmm?
585
00:43:16,198 --> 00:43:20,221
Well, I'm going to invite Debbie
to come swim if that's okay.
586
00:43:41,993 --> 00:43:42,993
Hey.
587
00:43:43,292 --> 00:43:44,292
Hi.
588
00:43:52,000 --> 00:43:53,064
I wasn't sure it was wise
589
00:43:53,089 --> 00:43:55,507
to expose the mermaid
to lunch with the Miltons.
590
00:43:55,532 --> 00:43:59,074
Don't get this slut
knocked up the wrong way.
591
00:44:01,375 --> 00:44:04,214
Oh, David's such a handsome boy.
592
00:44:04,239 --> 00:44:07,767
Thank goodness he doesn't
look anything look like his father.
593
00:44:07,792 --> 00:44:11,066
Why you had to marry
that man, I don't know.
594
00:44:11,090 --> 00:44:11,684
Mother!
595
00:44:11,708 --> 00:44:14,575
He's got a face like
a scrambled egg.
596
00:44:15,625 --> 00:44:17,348
What are you doing?!
597
00:44:23,076 --> 00:44:27,176
I was convinced the mermaid
would never ever want to see us again.
598
00:44:35,746 --> 00:44:37,202
What's so funny?!
599
00:44:40,134 --> 00:44:43,136
I told her all about
school and "The Crazy Eight."
600
00:44:43,426 --> 00:44:44,882
And soon, she was laughing...
601
00:44:44,907 --> 00:44:47,984
I mean, really laughing.
602
00:44:54,927 --> 00:44:56,783
All I had to do was kiss her.
603
00:44:57,376 --> 00:44:59,808
Then I could tell
everyone in the dorm.
604
00:45:04,377 --> 00:45:05,515
It's confirmed.
605
00:45:06,319 --> 00:45:08,493
Spud Milton has no balls.
606
00:45:11,691 --> 00:45:14,191
Second term,
and things must change.
607
00:45:14,721 --> 00:45:17,984
This is the term that
Spud Milton takes charge.
608
00:45:29,458 --> 00:45:31,521
Get him!
Get him, Spud! grab his leg!
609
00:45:31,546 --> 00:45:33,827
I helped to give Gecko a
special present for his birthday.
610
00:45:33,851 --> 00:45:35,345
- Take him!
- Where are you taking me?!
611
00:45:35,369 --> 00:45:37,918
Apparently, it's a school
tradition or something.
612
00:45:58,750 --> 00:46:01,689
I helped to play a wicked
practical joke on Boggo.
613
00:46:03,641 --> 00:46:05,641
♪ ... crocodile in the sea ♪
614
00:46:05,666 --> 00:46:09,141
♪ all the toxic waste
goes to the bay ♪
615
00:46:09,166 --> 00:46:12,502
♪ and that's where
the monster was ... ♪
616
00:46:16,560 --> 00:46:17,642
All right, up!
617
00:46:20,495 --> 00:46:22,876
And I joined the
African Affairs Society.
618
00:46:24,908 --> 00:46:26,908
- The Lancaster house...
- Two words, gentlemen...
619
00:46:26,932 --> 00:46:29,694
- The arms struggle was in...
- South Africa...
620
00:46:29,719 --> 00:46:32,100
- Declaration of...
- President left us no option.
621
00:46:32,125 --> 00:46:36,415
I'm embarrassed to be white, and when I
leave school, I'm gonna be a freedom fighter.
622
00:46:38,096 --> 00:46:40,109
Don't be so ignorant, Milton.
623
00:46:40,156 --> 00:46:43,482
By the time you finish school,
the struggle will be long over.
624
00:46:44,435 --> 00:46:45,435
Thanks, Milton.
625
00:46:45,756 --> 00:46:48,104
We need more people
with a conscience like yours.
626
00:46:49,375 --> 00:46:51,678
I think I prefer
black people now.
627
00:46:52,768 --> 00:46:56,198
Dad would probably call me a
bleeding-heart commie pinko.
628
00:47:00,042 --> 00:47:03,284
And incredibly, I have a
callback for "Oliver Twist,"
629
00:47:03,377 --> 00:47:07,131
although the music teacher's
composed completely new songs.
630
00:47:16,257 --> 00:47:17,417
They say...
631
00:47:17,480 --> 00:47:20,725
♪ you think you're
so damn cool ♪
632
00:47:21,022 --> 00:47:24,475
♪ welcome to the old school ♪
633
00:47:24,499 --> 00:47:26,818
♪ you're too tough to talk ♪
634
00:47:26,843 --> 00:47:30,589
♪ with nothing to fear ♪
635
00:47:31,521 --> 00:47:34,042
♪ we'll kick it out of you ♪
636
00:47:34,443 --> 00:47:37,021
♪ we'll beat you
black and blue ♪
637
00:47:37,365 --> 00:47:42,308
♪ don't be surprised if
you don't last a year ♪
638
00:47:42,333 --> 00:47:48,107
♪ although the madness
continues to haunt me ♪
639
00:47:48,132 --> 00:47:51,147
♪ hello, world, this is me ♪
640
00:47:51,172 --> 00:47:53,772
♪ and I'm all I'm gonna be ♪
641
00:47:53,796 --> 00:47:56,392
♪ just one of the boys ♪
642
00:47:56,417 --> 00:47:58,229
The role of Oliver Twist...
643
00:47:58,698 --> 00:48:01,990
will be performed
by John Milton.
644
00:48:02,854 --> 00:48:04,522
Congratulations.
645
00:48:05,108 --> 00:48:06,546
♪ just one of the boys ♪
646
00:48:06,570 --> 00:48:08,479
♪ you're gonna be famous, son ♪
647
00:48:08,504 --> 00:48:09,504
♪ one of the boys ♪
648
00:48:09,528 --> 00:48:11,380
♪ and your life has just begun ♪
649
00:48:11,404 --> 00:48:12,404
♪ one of the boys ♪
650
00:48:12,428 --> 00:48:15,080
♪ it's gonna be so
much fun to be ♪
651
00:48:15,104 --> 00:48:16,832
♪ you want to be ♪
652
00:48:16,856 --> 00:48:19,338
♪ you're gonna be ♪
653
00:48:31,006 --> 00:48:32,006
Hey, Spuddy.
654
00:48:32,434 --> 00:48:34,346
On behalf of the
boys and myself, eh,
655
00:48:34,371 --> 00:48:36,228
we'd just like to
congratulate you for...
656
00:48:36,252 --> 00:48:38,136
- Thanks, Robert.
- ...your birthday.
657
00:48:39,255 --> 00:48:42,458
♪ welcome to the fun, my son ♪
658
00:48:42,483 --> 00:48:44,567
♪ right here is where you belong ♪
Please, guys!
659
00:48:45,104 --> 00:48:48,020
♪ it's gonna be so
much fun to be ♪
660
00:48:48,045 --> 00:48:49,495
♪ you want to be ♪
661
00:48:49,519 --> 00:48:50,957
♪ you're gonna be ♪
662
00:48:50,981 --> 00:48:52,545
♪ just one of the boys ♪
663
00:48:52,570 --> 00:48:54,792
No, please! Please, guys!
664
00:48:56,656 --> 00:48:57,866
Get him!
Get him!
665
00:48:58,082 --> 00:49:00,082
Give him some more!
666
00:49:00,106 --> 00:49:02,106
Get him, get him, get him!
667
00:49:03,736 --> 00:49:05,886
Spuddy, you've got black balls!
668
00:49:06,006 --> 00:49:08,420
Make it again.
Put some more, put some more.
669
00:49:08,444 --> 00:49:09,916
Put some more.
670
00:49:47,422 --> 00:49:50,908
14 years ago to the minute,
I was born.
671
00:49:52,941 --> 00:49:55,568
then it was my mother
who had the pawing hands...
672
00:49:55,927 --> 00:49:56,927
the pain...
673
00:49:57,195 --> 00:49:58,600
the bright light.
674
00:50:02,782 --> 00:50:04,104
At least it's over.
675
00:50:10,935 --> 00:50:11,935
You okay?
676
00:50:15,933 --> 00:50:17,232
Right!
677
00:50:18,107 --> 00:50:19,591
I will be running a tight ship.
678
00:50:19,616 --> 00:50:23,089
In fact, this ship will be run
tighter than a nun's fanny!
679
00:50:23,208 --> 00:50:26,602
This will be no wanky,
humdrum school production!
680
00:50:26,627 --> 00:50:30,470
This production must be good enough to
grace any professional stage in the world!
681
00:50:30,495 --> 00:50:31,698
I demand endurance.
682
00:50:31,723 --> 00:50:33,022
I demand discipline.
683
00:50:54,153 --> 00:50:56,200
I demand creativity!
684
00:50:58,750 --> 00:51:00,562
Try that on, Milton.
685
00:51:05,274 --> 00:51:07,309
Yes, exactly the look!
686
00:51:13,100 --> 00:51:14,461
It didn't start well.
687
00:51:14,485 --> 00:51:16,269
Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop!
688
00:51:16,293 --> 00:51:18,062
Can't you see it's
"welcome to our..."
689
00:51:18,087 --> 00:51:20,629
Mr. Richardson.
Nickname, "Viking."
690
00:51:21,276 --> 00:51:25,030
Last year, he had a heart attack
directing "Pirates of Penzance."
691
00:51:25,358 --> 00:51:27,300
Which he set in Nazi Germany.
692
00:51:27,324 --> 00:51:28,453
Well, which one?
693
00:51:28,478 --> 00:51:30,201
The Guv is playing Fagin,
694
00:51:30,226 --> 00:51:33,203
but he keeps filling his
prop flask with real whiskey.
695
00:51:34,958 --> 00:51:37,246
Eve is playing the
prostitute Nancy.
696
00:51:38,194 --> 00:51:40,954
We're all hoping they'll
dress her like a total slut.
697
00:51:40,978 --> 00:51:41,978
Yes
698
00:51:43,071 --> 00:51:44,816
Gecko was the stage manager.
699
00:51:47,875 --> 00:51:49,799
He'll probably be
in the san for life.
700
00:51:49,823 --> 00:51:51,393
- Yes, yes, yes.
- By the hair.
701
00:51:51,417 --> 00:51:53,285
The Glock is playing Sikes,
the psychopath.
702
00:51:53,309 --> 00:51:55,026
- Scruff of the neck.
- Yes, he's a psychopath.
703
00:51:55,051 --> 00:51:57,242
Come on, boy, give me the
money, give me the money!
704
00:51:57,267 --> 00:51:58,809
Oh, yes, I like that,
I like that!
705
00:51:58,833 --> 00:52:01,214
- Talk about typecasting.
- Yeah, I enjoyed it.
706
00:52:01,795 --> 00:52:02,899
You okay, boy?
707
00:52:03,789 --> 00:52:04,842
Only acting, sir.
708
00:52:05,199 --> 00:52:06,974
- Yes, good.
- Well-done.
709
00:52:07,054 --> 00:52:08,999
- Very convincing.
- Yes.
710
00:52:27,208 --> 00:52:31,475
I swear to god, if you
tell anyone, I'll kill you.
711
00:52:31,965 --> 00:52:32,965
About what?
712
00:52:43,221 --> 00:52:44,263
Two, three!
713
00:52:46,796 --> 00:52:47,916
Two, three!
714
00:53:02,293 --> 00:53:03,704
Rugby season.
715
00:53:09,402 --> 00:53:12,412
I wonder if "Oliver Twist"
will get the same response.
716
00:53:12,436 --> 00:53:14,616
Go, Under 14Es, go!
717
00:53:14,641 --> 00:53:17,915
Not like the one for
my team, Under 14E.
718
00:53:18,917 --> 00:53:21,823
But maybe that's got to do
with our coach being Mr. Lilly.
719
00:53:22,293 --> 00:53:23,369
The art teacher.
720
00:53:23,393 --> 00:53:25,393
Do the... do the pass.
721
00:53:25,549 --> 00:53:27,275
He doesn't believe in tackling.
722
00:53:28,746 --> 00:53:31,374
That's better...
More pressure from the rear!
723
00:53:39,020 --> 00:53:41,303
1, 2, 3, 4!
724
00:53:41,328 --> 00:53:43,533
1, 2, 4!
725
00:53:43,558 --> 00:53:45,069
They're here!
726
00:54:22,446 --> 00:54:27,558
I'm sure you'd all like to join me in
welcoming the Saint Catherine schoolgirls!
727
00:54:27,583 --> 00:54:28,810
Quiet!
728
00:54:29,224 --> 00:54:30,224
Amanda.
729
00:54:32,591 --> 00:54:34,595
Amanda here will be playing Bet.
730
00:54:34,653 --> 00:54:36,937
Meet John Milton, Oliver.
731
00:54:41,734 --> 00:54:43,055
Amanda Lawrence.
732
00:54:43,719 --> 00:54:45,844
Too beautiful to
have a nickname.
733
00:54:47,900 --> 00:54:51,408
I'm utterly and
absolutely terrified of her.
734
00:54:53,988 --> 00:54:57,155
Now, don't think I don't know what's going
on in those sordid, little minds of yours,
735
00:54:57,180 --> 00:54:58,586
and I will have none of it.
736
00:54:59,167 --> 00:55:04,395
That goes for flirting, canoodling,
spooning, smooching, and molesting.
737
00:55:09,660 --> 00:55:12,465
- It's the best book I've ever read.
- Blessed boy!
738
00:55:13,792 --> 00:55:15,213
What a book, eh?
739
00:55:15,238 --> 00:55:18,483
More exciting than a
bed full of blondes, hm?
740
00:55:24,459 --> 00:55:27,373
Sir, I wanted to ask
you about another book.
741
00:55:27,397 --> 00:55:29,587
I've unleashed a monster!
742
00:55:30,971 --> 00:55:32,946
It's called "The Prophecies"
by Nostradamus.
743
00:55:32,970 --> 00:55:34,970
Yes, yes, I know it, boy
744
00:55:36,841 --> 00:55:38,181
Now, what's all this about?
745
00:55:38,834 --> 00:55:39,512
Nothing.
746
00:55:39,537 --> 00:55:42,465
You're not trying to impress that
private-school slapper, are you?
747
00:55:42,489 --> 00:55:43,123
No, sir.
748
00:55:43,147 --> 00:55:46,455
I saw you eyeing the saucy minx.
749
00:55:48,993 --> 00:55:50,338
I can't stop looking at her.
750
00:55:50,362 --> 00:55:51,953
Then look harder.
751
00:55:52,312 --> 00:55:53,684
If she's reading that nonsense,
752
00:55:53,709 --> 00:55:55,923
you'd better steer
well clear of her.
753
00:55:56,112 --> 00:55:57,310
Now, look, old cock,
754
00:55:57,335 --> 00:56:00,333
if you don't roger half the chorus
line by the end of the month,
755
00:56:00,358 --> 00:56:02,778
it will be seriously
remiss of you.
756
00:56:06,042 --> 00:56:07,042
I can't.
757
00:56:07,067 --> 00:56:08,067
Why not?
758
00:56:11,453 --> 00:56:12,823
I'm just a spud, sir.
759
00:56:17,750 --> 00:56:21,410
Well, you'll just have to show everyone
that what you've got, uh, you know,
760
00:56:21,435 --> 00:56:25,524
down there isn't the only
thing that counts, right?
761
00:56:33,083 --> 00:56:36,502
I know a book
that'll buck you up.
762
00:56:43,460 --> 00:56:45,808
This will sort you out.
763
00:56:50,957 --> 00:56:52,035
What's it about?
764
00:56:52,161 --> 00:56:55,885
It's about choice and not
giving a damn what people think.
765
00:56:56,096 --> 00:57:01,354
You make choices, you own them,
you live them, and damn the consequences!
766
00:57:05,772 --> 00:57:07,629
What did I say about the wine?
767
00:57:10,167 --> 00:57:12,074
John, you need to leave now.
768
00:57:17,672 --> 00:57:18,672
Milton.
769
00:57:21,588 --> 00:57:23,566
They used to call
me "Spud," too,
770
00:57:24,136 --> 00:57:25,554
you know, back in the old days.
771
00:57:27,927 --> 00:57:30,635
But I turned out all right,
didn't I, dear?
772
00:58:14,431 --> 00:58:15,431
Hello?
773
00:58:19,833 --> 00:58:20,833
Johnny?
774
00:58:21,273 --> 00:58:22,273
Is that you?
775
00:58:26,958 --> 00:58:27,416
Hi.
776
00:58:27,441 --> 00:58:28,441
Johnny.
777
00:58:29,070 --> 00:58:30,070
How are you?
778
00:58:31,310 --> 00:58:32,310
I'm...
779
00:58:33,035 --> 00:58:35,272
Beat it, Spuddy.
Got to make a call.
780
00:58:43,000 --> 00:58:44,000
Johnny?
781
00:58:47,825 --> 00:58:52,945
3, 4! 1, 2, 3, 4!
1, 2, 3, 4! ...
782
00:58:59,917 --> 00:59:00,809
Have you read...
783
00:59:00,834 --> 00:59:03,326
Nostradamus is a deluded fool.
784
00:59:03,484 --> 00:59:04,515
Don't you think?
785
00:59:08,710 --> 00:59:10,437
Why do they call you "Spud"?
786
00:59:12,252 --> 00:59:14,177
Has it got something
to do with a potato?
787
00:59:17,397 --> 00:59:18,604
I've got to go.
788
00:59:19,202 --> 00:59:20,319
Come on, we're on!
789
00:59:24,572 --> 00:59:26,239
♪ all it took ♪
790
00:59:26,263 --> 00:59:27,891
♪ was a second ♪
791
00:59:27,915 --> 00:59:31,226
♪ was a moment in your eyes ♪
792
00:59:31,251 --> 00:59:32,929
♪ in a glance ♪
793
00:59:32,953 --> 00:59:34,603
♪ how you beckoned ♪
794
00:59:34,627 --> 00:59:38,225
♪ now I've come to realize ♪
795
00:59:39,453 --> 00:59:41,176
♪ why don't we run away? ♪
796
00:59:41,201 --> 00:59:43,074
♪ why don't we run away? ♪
797
00:59:43,098 --> 00:59:46,417
♪ I need just one
minute alone with you ♪
798
00:59:46,441 --> 00:59:48,102
♪ and the world would stop ♪
799
00:59:48,126 --> 00:59:50,348
♪ in a single moment ♪
800
00:59:50,373 --> 00:59:53,129
♪ just one minute alone with you ♪
801
00:59:53,154 --> 00:59:54,804
♪ feel the pressure drop ♪
802
00:59:54,828 --> 00:59:56,722
♪ as my heart stopped pumping ♪
803
00:59:56,747 --> 00:59:58,128
♪ just to feel me ♪
804
00:59:58,152 --> 00:59:59,998
♪ just to hold you close ♪
805
01:00:00,022 --> 01:00:02,022
♪ for a minute ♪
806
01:00:03,317 --> 01:00:04,746
♪ for a minute ♪
807
01:00:07,539 --> 01:00:09,336
My god, don't tell me
his voice is breaking.
808
01:00:10,031 --> 01:00:12,112
No one has any idea
what's wrong with me.
809
01:00:12,380 --> 01:00:15,142
I'm hoping my days as
a spud are numbered.
810
01:00:26,512 --> 01:00:29,536
They say four sneezes is
the same as an orgasm.
811
01:00:29,992 --> 01:00:32,327
I hope an orgasm
feels better than this.
812
01:00:36,708 --> 01:00:39,395
I've discovered that Gecko
is actually totally cool.
813
01:00:39,789 --> 01:00:42,828
Apparently, he's had
42 different diseases,
814
01:00:42,890 --> 01:00:44,750
six unknown to medical science.
815
01:00:44,949 --> 01:00:47,825
And he's currently taking
12 different kinds of medicine.
816
01:01:05,292 --> 01:01:06,838
To my darling Spud.
817
01:01:07,510 --> 01:01:08,611
Get better, baby.
818
01:01:09,314 --> 01:01:10,314
I miss you.
819
01:01:10,406 --> 01:01:11,406
Love...
820
01:01:12,170 --> 01:01:13,170
Amanda.
821
01:01:15,247 --> 01:01:17,466
To my darling Spud.
To my darling Spud.
822
01:01:17,490 --> 01:01:19,137
To my darling Spud.
Get better, baby.
823
01:01:19,161 --> 01:01:21,161
Get better, baby.
I miss you.
824
01:01:21,185 --> 01:01:23,739
I miss you.
Love, love, love, love, love,
825
01:01:23,763 --> 01:01:26,350
Love, love, love, love, love,
love, love, love, love, Amanda.
826
01:01:26,375 --> 01:01:27,375
Amigo, ...
827
01:01:27,876 --> 01:01:29,852
I think we can safely say...
828
01:01:30,828 --> 01:01:31,906
she loves you.
829
01:01:33,395 --> 01:01:34,223
You think?
830
01:01:34,248 --> 01:01:35,950
Imagine if you grab Amanda.
831
01:01:37,885 --> 01:01:38,885
Spud...
832
01:01:39,628 --> 01:01:40,822
will be stud.
833
01:01:42,987 --> 01:01:45,892
♪ took away my sun ♪
834
01:01:45,917 --> 01:01:48,633
♪ we're moving on together ♪
835
01:01:48,657 --> 01:01:51,646
♪ just you and I ♪
836
01:01:55,028 --> 01:01:58,292
♪ move your body closer ♪
837
01:02:06,917 --> 01:02:07,917
Spud.
838
01:02:10,114 --> 01:02:12,950
you know, ...
when you sing...
839
01:02:14,875 --> 01:02:15,875
it's like...
840
01:02:18,078 --> 01:02:19,078
it's like...
841
01:02:20,182 --> 01:02:21,229
I don't know.
842
01:02:22,574 --> 01:02:24,636
This might sound
a little weird, but...
843
01:02:27,625 --> 01:02:30,250
It's like I know there
might be a god out there.
844
01:02:52,112 --> 01:02:53,792
It's just a bit of bronchitis.
845
01:02:53,932 --> 01:02:55,338
His voice hasn't broken?
846
01:02:56,382 --> 01:02:58,398
This boy's a long
way away from that.
847
01:03:14,114 --> 01:03:15,114
Hi.
848
01:03:20,395 --> 01:03:21,411
How are you?
849
01:03:23,426 --> 01:03:24,426
Fine.
850
01:03:39,958 --> 01:03:44,322
All right, ladies, once more
from the top with Vim and Vigor!
851
01:03:46,159 --> 01:03:47,159
Just me.
852
01:04:11,312 --> 01:04:13,255
But she signed it "love."
853
01:04:13,504 --> 01:04:14,618
You saw that.
854
01:04:15,125 --> 01:04:17,276
With girls, love doesn't
always mean love.
855
01:04:17,742 --> 01:04:19,742
Girls say "love" all the time.
856
01:04:19,792 --> 01:04:21,587
Oh, I love that dress.
857
01:04:21,754 --> 01:04:23,698
Oh, I love Tom Cruise.
858
01:04:23,748 --> 01:04:25,927
Oh, I love Bernard Rommer.
859
01:04:27,364 --> 01:04:28,397
Forget girls.
860
01:04:28,422 --> 01:04:29,708
Race you to the top.
861
01:04:30,450 --> 01:04:31,802
Where are we going?
862
01:04:32,060 --> 01:04:34,151
♪ I ♪
863
01:04:34,630 --> 01:04:37,669
♪ had the strangest dream ♪
864
01:04:38,807 --> 01:04:41,936
♪ in the bundu bush ♪
865
01:04:42,752 --> 01:04:46,383
♪ of africa ♪
866
01:04:49,230 --> 01:04:52,403
♪ I was king of kings ♪
867
01:04:52,918 --> 01:04:54,663
♪ there I stood ♪
868
01:04:54,688 --> 01:04:55,768
♪ the jungle ♪
869
01:04:55,792 --> 01:04:57,599
Call this hell's view.
870
01:04:57,624 --> 01:05:00,708
School's hell, and this is
the best place to view it from.
871
01:05:00,732 --> 01:05:03,348
♪ had the strangest dream ♪
872
01:05:05,155 --> 01:05:07,425
♪ shadows, shadows ♪
873
01:05:07,449 --> 01:05:09,449
♪ shadows, shadows ♪
874
01:05:09,473 --> 01:05:11,473
♪ shadows, shadows ♪
875
01:05:11,497 --> 01:05:12,840
♪ shadows ♪
876
01:05:13,107 --> 01:05:15,466
♪ I'm winning, I'm winning ♪
877
01:05:19,940 --> 01:05:21,059
Silly season,
878
01:05:21,233 --> 01:05:23,873
and I'm obviously not the
only one who's losing it.
879
01:05:26,083 --> 01:05:29,076
Boggo replaced the house
video with lesbian porn.
880
01:05:35,528 --> 01:05:37,802
And Vern was busted
stealing everyone's underpants.
881
01:05:37,918 --> 01:05:41,744
Rambo accused him of theft,
faggotism, and controversial behavior.
882
01:05:41,768 --> 01:05:42,768
Vern!
883
01:05:43,790 --> 01:05:46,714
Turns out he was using them
to make a nest for Roger the cat.
884
01:05:48,854 --> 01:05:50,075
16, 17, 18, 19
885
01:05:50,122 --> 01:05:54,312
Fatty had an accident trying
to smash his farting record.
886
01:06:01,083 --> 01:06:04,120
Gecko contracted some
rare form of bilharzia.
887
01:06:04,245 --> 01:06:06,743
Mad Dog says he
got it from Fatty's fart.
888
01:06:07,702 --> 01:06:09,897
Everyone knows
about Rambo and Eve.
889
01:06:11,333 --> 01:06:13,327
Except for poor old Spare Rib.
890
01:06:15,083 --> 01:06:16,921
Pike continues to wreak havoc.
891
01:06:16,946 --> 01:06:18,932
Whoa! Get it off!
892
01:06:26,211 --> 01:06:28,041
And I couldn't stop dreaming.
893
01:06:37,072 --> 01:06:38,788
I think I'm going mad.
894
01:06:42,270 --> 01:06:44,190
The real question is,
895
01:06:44,796 --> 01:06:46,981
which of the girls
do you want to shag?
896
01:06:47,860 --> 01:06:49,439
I can't shag any of them.
897
01:06:51,292 --> 01:06:52,861
I'm a spud, remember?
898
01:06:54,363 --> 01:06:55,949
I know just what you need to do.
899
01:06:55,974 --> 01:06:58,637
Gecko acts like he's a
world authority on women,
900
01:06:58,741 --> 01:07:00,779
which is kind of
like an impossibility
901
01:07:00,855 --> 01:07:02,474
'cause he's never
even had a kiss.
902
01:07:02,499 --> 01:07:05,798
So, you reckon I should
completely ignore Amanda,
903
01:07:06,094 --> 01:07:08,062
be totally horrible to her...
904
01:07:09,025 --> 01:07:11,090
and flirt outrageously
with Christine?
905
01:07:13,789 --> 01:07:15,541
Christine's so scary, though.
906
01:07:16,190 --> 01:07:18,645
It's the only way to make
Amanda respect you.
907
01:08:05,292 --> 01:08:06,774
Hello, boyfriend.
908
01:08:07,361 --> 01:08:08,361
Christine.
909
01:08:18,688 --> 01:08:20,830
Later, lover boy.
910
01:08:37,811 --> 01:08:39,860
You're a dark and cruel soul.
911
01:08:39,885 --> 01:08:41,830
Why are you so arrogant?
912
01:08:41,855 --> 01:08:43,945
You're not the person
I thought you were.
913
01:08:43,969 --> 01:08:44,969
Amanda.
914
01:08:47,437 --> 01:08:49,206
She hates my guts!
915
01:08:49,507 --> 01:08:51,449
And I'm flirting with
some complete stranger.
916
01:08:51,473 --> 01:08:52,473
Christine.
917
01:08:52,754 --> 01:08:56,771
Christine. And I'm cheating on the
only girl who's ever been nice to me.
918
01:08:58,171 --> 01:09:00,852
Do you mind if I
grabbed Christine?
919
01:09:01,117 --> 01:09:02,619
I think she likes me.
920
01:09:03,454 --> 01:09:04,454
- She does?
- Actually,
921
01:09:04,479 --> 01:09:06,567
we already snogged
under the stage.
922
01:09:06,591 --> 01:09:07,748
Is that okay?
923
01:09:09,830 --> 01:09:10,830
Yeah.
924
01:09:11,167 --> 01:09:12,790
Sure, be my guest.
925
01:09:12,815 --> 01:09:13,815
Thanks, amigo.
926
01:09:18,682 --> 01:09:20,756
So, what are you
doing for the holidays?
927
01:09:20,781 --> 01:09:22,124
Nothing. You?
928
01:09:22,348 --> 01:09:24,745
I'm gonna be spending the
holiday out of town with my girlfriend.
929
01:09:24,770 --> 01:09:26,430
- Girlfriend?
- Christine!
930
01:09:26,540 --> 01:09:27,936
And then we're
going to Mozambique.
931
01:09:27,961 --> 01:09:30,237
We can swim with
dolphins and everything.
932
01:09:30,545 --> 01:09:31,932
Listen, Gecko,
about Christine...
933
01:09:31,956 --> 01:09:32,956
Yeah?
934
01:09:34,167 --> 01:09:35,167
Nothing.
935
01:09:35,953 --> 01:09:38,706
Check these crazy malaria
pills I'm supposed to be taking,
936
01:09:38,731 --> 01:09:42,184
except I'm never gonna
take another pill again.
937
01:09:42,848 --> 01:09:45,348
'cause my new medicine is love.
938
01:09:48,082 --> 01:09:49,441
Hey, where are you going?
939
01:10:06,297 --> 01:10:07,297
Sir?
940
01:10:11,301 --> 01:10:12,301
Sir!
941
01:10:16,458 --> 01:10:18,901
Milton, what the hell
are you doing here?
942
01:10:18,926 --> 01:10:20,225
Sorry to disturb you, sir.
943
01:10:20,250 --> 01:10:21,886
- Well, don't.
- No, sir.
944
01:10:21,910 --> 01:10:23,578
I really need your
help with something.
945
01:10:26,183 --> 01:10:27,487
What is it?
946
01:10:30,083 --> 01:10:31,958
- Are you okay?
- Excellent, excellent.
947
01:10:34,484 --> 01:10:36,570
- Where's Mrs. Edly?
- Packed up, shipped out.
948
01:10:36,594 --> 01:10:38,953
Finally had enough of this
cantankerous, old bastard.
949
01:10:38,978 --> 01:10:40,962
- What do you mean?
- Mow, what do you want?
950
01:10:45,838 --> 01:10:46,846
It's the book.
951
01:10:49,288 --> 01:10:50,867
It's crazy and doesn't
resolve anything.
952
01:10:50,892 --> 01:10:52,142
Life-like, isn't it?
953
01:10:54,792 --> 01:10:56,839
I'm kind of having
these problems with...
954
01:10:57,752 --> 01:10:59,088
these girls I'm seeing.
955
01:11:01,096 --> 01:11:02,737
I don't know what to do anymore.
956
01:11:04,362 --> 01:11:05,362
Look, Milton...
957
01:11:06,678 --> 01:11:08,350
let me give you
a piece of advice
958
01:11:08,374 --> 01:11:10,519
from a man whose
wife has just left him.
959
01:11:10,544 --> 01:11:13,542
As far as the unfair
sex is concerned,
960
01:11:13,661 --> 01:11:16,434
honesty, honesty, honesty.
961
01:11:17,402 --> 01:11:18,986
Avoid it all cost.
962
01:11:19,011 --> 01:11:21,965
Lie through your teeth at
every turn, and if you're lucky,
963
01:11:21,990 --> 01:11:23,380
you may get away with it.
964
01:11:24,898 --> 01:11:29,968
And if you don't, well,
you can always, uh, go mad,
965
01:11:30,216 --> 01:11:31,983
develop a drinking problem.
966
01:12:00,750 --> 01:12:02,156
It's worse than I thought.
967
01:12:02,961 --> 01:12:04,703
I look exactly like a sheep!
968
01:12:31,488 --> 01:12:32,268
Hey!
969
01:12:32,293 --> 01:12:34,496
We have a new member
of the Milton family, Blackie.
970
01:12:34,497 --> 01:12:36,166
- Where did you get this mutt?
- He's not a mutt.
971
01:12:36,191 --> 01:12:37,456
Who's gonna feed this dog now?!
972
01:12:37,480 --> 01:12:40,023
- I'm gonna feed this dog, by the way.
- Yeah, I've heard that before.
973
01:12:40,047 --> 01:12:43,103
I am gonna feed the dog,
exactly, and I'll feed it what I want!
974
01:12:43,127 --> 01:12:44,127
Yeah.
975
01:12:44,462 --> 01:12:46,645
Ah, don't even speak to me!
976
01:12:46,670 --> 01:12:47,904
I've had it!
977
01:12:49,284 --> 01:12:50,284
This is illegal!
978
01:12:50,309 --> 01:12:52,137
Innocence is in trouble again.
979
01:12:52,162 --> 01:12:54,185
Dad busted her selling
liquor out of her back room.
980
01:12:54,209 --> 01:12:55,959
This is completely illegal!
981
01:12:55,983 --> 01:12:57,588
You're very welcome.
982
01:12:57,613 --> 01:13:00,873
But once he discovered that he could
make 50 cents off every bottle she sells...
983
01:13:00,897 --> 01:13:02,598
Just keep moving...
Moving here.
984
01:13:02,622 --> 01:13:04,848
He's decided that he
likes black people after all.
985
01:13:07,846 --> 01:13:09,557
Mermaid is coming to visit.
986
01:13:11,885 --> 01:13:13,167
Her breasts have grown.
987
01:13:13,660 --> 01:13:14,839
They're enormous.
988
01:13:32,046 --> 01:13:34,992
You got a good pair
of knockers there.
989
01:13:35,265 --> 01:13:36,812
Use them wisely.
990
01:13:42,376 --> 01:13:43,954
We walked in the
Japanese Gardens,
991
01:13:43,979 --> 01:13:45,977
and she touched
me with her boobs.
992
01:13:47,007 --> 01:13:49,419
And my willy felt all weird.
993
01:13:52,603 --> 01:13:54,807
- What's that?
- A commitment ring.
994
01:13:56,091 --> 01:13:57,543
Do you think we'll...
995
01:13:59,155 --> 01:14:01,467
get married and
have kids and stuff?
996
01:14:13,367 --> 01:14:14,367
Girls!
997
01:14:14,922 --> 01:14:16,617
They all lead you to madness.
998
01:14:16,737 --> 01:14:18,869
That's why dad's
taking Blackie to the vet,
999
01:14:18,894 --> 01:14:20,183
to get his nuts chopped off.
1000
01:14:20,207 --> 01:14:21,207
Let's go!
1001
01:14:21,565 --> 01:14:22,792
Just like me.
1002
01:14:23,518 --> 01:14:24,557
neither boy...
1003
01:14:25,336 --> 01:14:26,416
nor man.
1004
01:14:28,458 --> 01:14:30,364
Final term, and life is a mess.
1005
01:14:33,951 --> 01:14:34,558
Sir?
1006
01:14:34,583 --> 01:14:36,879
The Guv isn't the same
since his wife left him.
1007
01:14:37,010 --> 01:14:39,162
Uh, not now, Milton, not now.
1008
01:14:42,507 --> 01:14:44,156
Eve broke up with Rambo.
1009
01:14:48,237 --> 01:14:50,478
Hey, Rain Man, fix your tie.
1010
01:14:50,503 --> 01:14:52,786
Rain Man is Pike's
new punching bag.
1011
01:14:55,833 --> 01:14:58,379
And Gecko discovered that
Christine snogged Smith...
1012
01:14:59,020 --> 01:15:00,215
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Uighur
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof