All language subtitles for RuPauls Drag Race S17E02 Drag Queens Got Talent 2160p STAN WEB-DL DDP2 0 H 265-RAWR_Track03

- Previously on
"RuPaul's Drag Race"...

Peek-a-Ru!

Let the Squirrel Games begin.

14 players will continue.

Welcome to the 17th season
of "RuPaul's Drag Race."

Now, for our two-part
premiere, seven of you

will be performing on
Drag Queens Got Talent.

And next week, the rest
of you will be performing.

The queens that watched you
will rank you from top--

- I'm gonna put my sister,
Miss Jewels Sparkles.

Suzie Shoot, honey.

--to bottom.

Gotta go to Acacia Forgot.

- Acacia Forgot,
your fellow queens

have rated you
as the bottom queen.

And next week, the two
queens with the lowest scores

will face off in
a Lip Sync For Your Life.

Jewels Sparkles,
Suzie Toot, you are the top

two queens of the week.

Suzie Toot, condragulations.

You're a winner, baby!

Oh, my God!

I'm on cloud nine right now.

The scoreboard is zero,
zero, zero, zero, zero,

zero, zero, zero, to one.

Eat that, ladies!

- You just won
the first episode on season 17

of "RuPaul's Drag Race"!

- So it has to be said, first
of all, this was Rate-A-Queen.

You guys had to do with
this, so thank you--

- You're welcome.
- Deserved.

--so much.

Deserved.

Congratulations to
you too, Jewels.

Both of you.
- And Jewels.

- Thank you.
- That lip sync was sickening.

Y'all devoured that.

- Bitch, I was
the top two this week.

Like, that is so major.

But I was not expecting
Suzie Toot to whip my ass

in a lip sync like that.

I mean, I'm a good lip-syncer.

America, what the fuck?

- Not to dampen the mood,
but how do you feel?

Well, I'm very damp.

Everyone had original music,
but I was the only one

with the balls to sing live.

Tea.

That's true.

- Their ratings spoke loud and
clear how they felt about me.

My whole soul goes
into my music,

so to be in the bottom
really hurts me.

These queens should be scared,
because I have some emotions,

and I am ready to take it out
on Rate-A-Queen.

OK, divas.

Next week, the tables turn,

and we get to be
the ones deciding.

Yeah.

Who do I want to
put in the bottom?

Oh, God!

I'm nervous.

I don't know if I trust
these baby queens

and their voting abilities.

I don't know if they've
ever actually voted.

- This will be the
last time we are

all together, because we will
have an elimination next week.

Oh, my God.

That's crazy.

Someone is going home.

I feel like this is the moment
where everybody realized

the game has just begun.

Child, don't nobody want to
be the first one to go home.

- This is the only time
all of us will get a hug.

Let's do it.

Everybody, hand in a circle.

3, 2, 1--

Season 17!

I have one more thing to say.

Do it, winner.

- The time for us week two
girls to relax is over, honey.

Oh, finally!

- So we'll see if
alliances come into play,

and we'll see if the girls
are gonna judge fair.

On to the next.

But somebody has
got to go, and it's

not gonna be my gay ass.

Ah!

So one of these bitches,
I hope, is ready to pack.

Arrietty, catch.

Ah!

Touchdown!

The winner
of "RuPaul's Drag Race"

receives a one-year supply

of Anastasia Beverly Hills
cosmetics

and a gag-worthy grand prize
of $200,000,

courtesy of TodayTix,
the theater ticket app.

With extra-special guest judge
Doechii.

- Cover girl,
put that toot in your walk.

Eh!

- It is a new day
in the Werk Room,

and right off, it is
time to get into drag.

Slay, slay.

This week, the other queens

will have to perform for
the judges in the talent show.

Mm!

- Week one queens will be
judging week two queens

using Rate-A-Queen.

And I love to rate a queen.

Are y'all ready--

I'm ready.

--to be judged?

Girl, I'm scared for week two.

Because after our
talent show, and now

I'm rating the
queens that rated me?

Bitch, you better
be bringing it.

- I'm actually really
excited to rate the girls.

- I know.
- Like, I--

- Is that evil?
- What are you talking about?

Nothing!

Nothing, sister.

- The idea of being messy Toot
today is a little tempting,

but I'm not evil.

Just a little evil.

- Sister, how are you?
- I'm good.

How are you?
- Oh, my God, we match.

This is crazy.

Rate-A-Queen is
a sack of shit.

I have to beg and--and barter
to get votes.

But I'm gonna.

Have I ever told you
how beautiful

and sickening you are?
- You have.

And mama, I told you before,
you're in safe hands with me.

Ooh, yes, my sister.

I love a sisterly bond.

At this point in time, me and
Lydia are getting very close.

I've come to really
enjoy Lydia's company.

Is it turning into
a relationship?

I don't know, maybe.

Maybe.

I don't know.

Ah!

- What are you doing
for your talent number?

I'm gonna--

Oh, wow.

Girl!

- I'm gonna be standing up
and doing comedy,

so stand-up comedy.

I love doing stand-up comedy.

I think it really lets me do
what I do the best,

which is being myself.

Comedy ain't easy.

This bitch must be
funny, because comedy

right out the gate?

Ooh, child, more power to you.

- How are you feeling?
- I feel good.

- Good?
- Yeah.

- You ready for today?
- I am.

Since finding out
that I'm going to

have to lip sync for my life,
I've had a good cry.

I've gotten out of my head.

And I plan to win,
because I'm not gonna be

the first one out of here.

I feel like I also have
an advantage on you guys--

Yeah.

- --because I could
not imagine being,

like, in the bottom and then
having to lip sync right away.

Yeah.

Are you going to
strategically vote?

Like, say someone you thought
did the worst, but they are

a phenomenal performer.
- Mm-hmm.

- Are you gonna put
them in the bottom,

because maybe you
don't want to perform

against someone that's gonna
give you a run for your money?

That might influence.

I'm definitely feeling
strategic rating the queens,

because my ass is on the line.

And I want to put
someone in the bottom

who I know I can take.

Girl, what the fuck?

What is going on?

No way!

Lawrence Chaney!

Oh, my God, honey!

Did I just fly across
the pond, bitch?

Oh, my God!

- Lawrence Chaney is
the iconic winner

of "RuPaul's Drag Race UK"
season two.

Oh, my God, bitch.

The gag!

It's me, Alan Cumming.

And there is a traitor
amongst you.

Oh!

I'm kidding.

It's me, Lawrence Chaney!

Hi.

Oh, my God, you all
look half-baked.

I love it.

Now, let's have
a wee chat, shall we?

Yes.

- Last week, we learned
the queen smiling to your face

might be the same queen
stabbing you in the back.

But tonight, beyond a shadow
of a doubt, one of you

is goin to be murdered!

Just kidding.

Or am I?

Listen closely.

I have a question that could
change this game forever.

Oh, my God.

What the fuck?

What's happening?

Is it cake, or is it cock?

Cock, cock, cock,
cock, cock, cock.

Please be cock.

Oh, wow.

Oh!

It's cock, you fools!

- Yes!
Oh, my God.

- But tonight on the runway,
category is, Is It Cake?

You need to serve
a look that features

your bootylicious booties.

- I'm thinking, bitch,
I don't really do this.

I don't show my ass.

But you know what?

That's where
I'm gonna get you.

I'm gonna give my own
Lucky Starzzz

twist to this theme.

- Now, as we say in the bonnie
banks of Loch Lomond,

good luck, and don't
fuck it up.

Come on, boys.

I've got haggis
boiling on my stove.

Bye.

Bye, boys.

- Right now,
I feel so inspired.

One thing I take
from Lawrence Chaney

is that she
devoured her season,

and that's something
I plan on doing this season.

My talent is something
that I do very, very well.

Welcome to the Lana show.

Ooh!

Ms. Sister.

Sister.

Hey, Ms. Grape.

- I have a big head because
I'm so excited to see you.

Ooh, OK.

- With Arrietty,
I feel like, you know what?

There's definitely
a spark here.

I call it
the artsy-fartsy spark.

I was just wondering,
I left my purple somewhere.

Would you like--
- Of course.

- --to let me borrow a little
bit of the purple, yes.

- Use whatever colors
you need, mama.

Girl, you could paint
all over me.

Let's just say that.

Let me ask y'all a question.

So if y'all were sleeping
in a bunk bed,

would you take the top bunk
or the bottom bunk?

You answer first.

- I feel like if you are
really into camping, you know--

Mm-hmm, sharing bunk beds.

--you'll share.

You'll take either bunk.

Oh!

And my sister,
which bed would you

sleep in, if you had
to pick the top bunk

or the bottom bunk?
- I'm gonna have to agree.

I love camping.

Oh!

- Oh, so y'all are gonna
be sharing bunks, I'm hearing.

- You never know what
the future holds, am I right?

- I am a queen who
hasn't kai-kaied yet.

But Ms. Lucky?

Girl, watch out.

She might be the first.

Kori.

Yes?

Are you gonna blend that eye?

Ooh!

Ooh-hoo-hoo!

No, no!

These bitches are
gonna be voting for us,

so I will be nice to everyone

until the voting
has been valinquished.

I love you.

Mm.

- Did I ever tell you
how beautiful you are?

Mm-hmm.

- How gorgeous you are.
- Thank you.

How not mean you are.

Thank you.

- You're just such
a sweet, beautiful soul.

- I know.
- You too, Jewels.

- Oh, look at you,
learning new things.

I'm trying, I'm trying.

Learning new things.

A dog can learn new tricks.

How are you feeling?

Are you excited?

I'm not gonna lie--

yeah, of course I'm excited.

But I'm--I'm nervous.

I'm--I'm nervous.

Yeah.

I am a little nervous,
but I'm also excited.

I will be performing
an original song.

I get to show off my
honky-tonk badonkadonk

and all my fabulous
country moves.

I think what makes me
kind of most nervous

is obviously the other
country performance.

They were not feeling
the first country number,

but my country number is going
to be authentic country,

not an imposter country.

So you said
for your talent show,

you're roller skating, right?
- I am.

Ooh.

- I will be the roller skating
derby doll diva of your dreams.

I'm scared because I don't
want to slip on this floor.

Girl, looking at that stage, it
looks like black ice out there,

and I'm just thinking that
I'm gonna mash my face.

Do you remember
the runway with Naomi Smalls

and Bob the Drag Queen?

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
- Ah!

- They were all, like--
on the skates.

Yes.

- How did you start
roller skating?

- So I started roller skating
in middle school.

- Well, yeah, in the '80s,
roller skating was big.

- Oh, damn.
- Damn, shady.

- That's OK.
That's OK.

It's OK. It's OK.

But in my little town,
all you could do was go

to the movies
or go roller skating.

So they would lock us in
until 5:00 AM,

and your parents would
just drop you off,

and they wouldn't have
to worry about you.

So my mom would be like, go.

And I'd be like, OK.

Work.

- Is there anyone
you're worried about?

- Mm-hmm.
- Who?

You can whisper it in my ear.

You don't have to say it
out loud, because

I know these bitches are nosy.

- Auntie.
- Auntie?

- Mm-hmm.
- Same.

- Mm-hmm?
- Same.

Mm.

So--wait, which auntie?

Grandma.

- The rollerblading
can go really bad.

She can--if she falls--

I don't want to manifest that.

Knock on wood.

But that could be bad,
you know what I mean?

Mm-hmm.

- You know,
a lady with old bones

doing roller skating
can be very, very dangerous,

and so I am a little concerned
for our auntie grandma Lexi.

We'll see about that.

And that's the tea.

- You look like a dog with
its head out the window.

Like...

This week's Maxi Challenge
is the Drag Queens Got Talent

talent show, and it's my turn
now to perform for the judges.

The tables have flipped, baby.

Like Jersey.

- So what's your strategy
for voting today?

- I'm gonna try to be
as fair as possible.

Yeah.

- But I definitely am going
to keep in mind who I think

I can beat in the lip sync.

I mean, I want to say Lexi.

I don't know, like,
how she performs.

Lexi?

Yeah, I don't know--

- Um, I know she's,
like, high-energy.

Is she?

She does play in Kentucky,

so I think
she's a good performer.

Hmm. OK, maybe not her.

- There's a lot of really
good lip-syncers this season.

- I know.
- I'll just say that.

- Because I've never seen any
of these girls perform before,

I'm trying to go around
and figure out

what people's strengths
are, what are they

doing for the talent show.

I am Sherlock Holmes, girl.

I am sussing it out.

So what do we think we can
expect from talent show

today from you ladies?

I'm trying to
figure out who are

the dancing girls,
because I don't want

to go against a dancing queen.

- I love to dance,
so I'm giving choreography.

I love to do some stunts,
so doing some stunty-stunts.

OK.

Crystal Envy is not
the girl you want to take on.

So I instantly was
like, different route.

How are we doing over here?

Pretty good.

- So what's your
performance style like?

What kind of numbers do
they do in Chattanooga?

Um--

Dancing queen, comedy queen?

What should I expect today?

Hmm.

Are you asking so
you can, like, figure out

who to put in the bottom?

I don't know why I'm asking.

I--I don't feel like
I've talked to you that much,

and I'm just curious on--

- Yeah, it's really
convenient to talk to me now.

I do not pay any mind to Miss--

what was her name?

Oh, yeah, nobody cares.

Ms. Forgotten About.

I know I'm gonna kill it,
and I am not worried one bit.

I have a friend
that's related to Dolly.

So her, like, foundation,
they've sponsored me in, like,

pageants and stuff before.

That's so cool.

- So like, you know,
I'm not saying

any of that could happen.

But if you ever
wanted to record

a song with Ms. Dolly Parton--

OK, she's trying to bribe me.

The bribery.

She's trying to bribe me.

Oh, girl.

Good talking to you guys.

I'm gonna go see what else
other people can offer.

Just remember, you know.

- Ms. Dolly?
- I think you're fun.

OK.

- So did you know who was gonna
be in the competition at all

before getting here?

No.

Didn't care, either.

I'm so new to drag.

Like, I don't give a fuck
about none of that shit.

I got into the gay world
really late

and I started doing drag
at 27,

so I feel like I'm a little
wet behind the ears

when it comes to just
the queer culture.

My whole goal is like,
for y'all to be my sisters

at the end of the day.

But right now, all these
bitches are strangers.

Yeah.

I'm excited, though,
to get to know you.

- I just--it's really hard for
me to get close to people, sis.

I don't just open
myself up to everybody.

Yeah.

I feel you.

- Back in Cleveland,
I sometimes struggled with,

like, fitting in
with the community.

So that was my main concern
coming into "Drag Race,"

is I didn't know
where I was gonna

fit in, or if I was gonna
get along with the girls.

I grew up my, like,
whole life feeling

like I was too white for
the Black kids and too Black

for the, uh--
- Yeah.

You know what I mean?

And same with
the queer community.

It's like this in Cleveland.

Like, it's hard for me
to find a group

of drag entertainers
that I feel close to.

And with Rate-A-Queen,
friendships come into the play

of the game a lot.

So we'll see.

OK, Acacia, serious question.

If you had to pick
a bitch in this room

to lip sync against tonight,
who would you pick?

Yes!

That's the tea.

- Some of these girls
are asking me, who do you

want to lip sync against?

And I think they're willing
to vote however I want them to.

Say their name!

Say their name!

Right.

Who do you want to lip sync
against tonight?

- Um, I would
probably say Hormona.

What'd you say?

- She said she's gonna
fuck you up in lip sync.

- She said she's
gonna beat your ass

and she's gonna
send you home first.

Aw.

- I think it should be
the battle of the camp.

I'm scared of dancers.

- RuPaul can't save
you now, bitch.

She said, fuck your drag.

- But like, literally,
if you think you're gonna

do that, like, you're going
against RuPaul, because RuPaul

wanted me here specifically.
So, like--

Ooh!

OK.

- I do think that
Hormona is a cunt.

She has this way
of, like, saying things.

I don't know if
it's the Southern accent.

When she says something,
it seems very belittling.

- Well, baby, the queens
are in charge tonight.

- Baby.
- Hello.

- Ms. Hormona claims that
if we put her in the bottom,

we're directly going
against RuPaul.

But honey, when RuPaul sees
how annoying you've been,

she's gonna regret that
decision very quickly.

This is gonna be gaggy.

That's how it's done.

Stunning.

Yes.

- Welcome to the main stage
of "RuPaul's Drag Race."

Michelle Visage.

Now, if you had
your own reality show,

what would it be called?

Well, that's easy.

"American Whore Story."

- Oh.
- Yeah.

And the audacious Ts Madison.

Now, what would your
reality show be called?

- I'd call it
"The Deadliest Snatch."

- And our extra-special
guest judge, Doechii.

Now, what would your
reality show be called?

- Ru, I think I'd bring back
"The Bad Gays Club."

Ooh, I want to be on that.

Yes.

I love it.

This week we challenged
our second seven

to let loose in Drag Queens
Got Talent, Part Two.

And tonight on the runway,
category is, Is It Cake?

Racers, start your engines,

and may the best
drag queen win.

Category is, Is It Cake?

Up first, Sam Star.

- Oh.
- Oh, wow.

She got hers.

Now he'll get his.

Yes!

- Honey,
I took the category

very literally,
giving you cake

in the front
and cakes in the back.

Oh!

Oh, yeah.

- Now that's what
I call a honeymoon.

- It's inspired by a previous
Moschino collection,

where all these dresses
looked like

you could actually
cut into them.

Very Vegas bride.

I'm ready to lose my virginity
to my sugar daddy man.

It's just giving you Sam Star.

- She's putting the butt
in buttercream.

Onya Nurve.

Oh, OK.

Peach, please.

- Baby, I am the juiciest
peach in the South,

giving you peach cobbler
down, honey.

I have this beautiful
trumpet skirt,

corseted with a peach
appliqué at the top.

I love this peach color on me.

I feel stunning,
and I feel gorgeous

and like the peach
belle of the ball.

- Oh!
- Whoo!

Yeah, honey.

She got Georgia on her mind
and on her ass.

Crystal Envy.

- Oh!
- Oh, my God.

Doggone it.

- So I'm obviously
from the Jersey Shore.

I love to tan, so I am giving
your favorite

sunscreen baby grown up.

And she has still not left
the beach in 50 years.

I have a fully nude
illusion airbrushed catsuit

with the muscles, the abs.

I have my little bikini
and my giant Labradoo dog,

RoofPaul, on my ass.

I hope you brought SPF.

Well, that dog won't hunt,

but he will sure sniff
somebody's ass.

Kori King.

Who invited Monét X Change?

- I don't want to brag,
but I do

have the best body
of the season,

so I am not gonna do too much.

I'm not dressing up
like a cake.

I am literally wearing
Monét X Change's

Werq the World costume.

- Ooh.
- All right.

Ah! I ate it.

That's not Little Debbie.

Uh-uh.

It's Big Debbie.

Now that's a plumper dumper.

Lexi Love.

- Oh.
- Ooh.

Video killed the radio star.

How's my head, girl?

We are doing a very cool

holographic TV screen
on my face.

This goes right into my
avant stupid aesthetic.

And then, just like those cake
competitions, turn around.

Bam.
- Oh.

- Oh.
- Surprise!

Baby cakes.

Child, she done cut the cord.

Turn "Judge Judy" on.

Hormona Lisa.

- I'm serving up very creamy,
cream-filled frosted cakes.

- Oh!
- Oh, wow!

Let them eat cake, Hormona.

- I am representing
the trans flag.

It's a little baby blue,
a little baby pink.

And together,
it's like the beautifulest,

most prettiest pastel dream.

I think it's so cute.

- Honey, it's giving
Marie Asstoinette.

Mm-hmm.

Lana Ja'Rae.

Ooh!

- You've heard of
a lace front, right?

- Yeah.
- This is a lace back.

Amen, sister.

- I'm giving you
a really classic Lana

silhouette with this beautiful
stone leopard print gown.

I love to showcase my body,
and yes, this is my real ass.

No padding here.

- You wanna make a cake,
you gotta crack some ass.

- You know, I think this
cake is laced with something.

I think you're right.

Acacia Forgot.

- You can't have a garden
without a hoe.

- This look is
a lady of the court.

She is taking a little stroll
through the rose garden,

until she turns around
and realizes she had

her rosebud out
the whole time.

- Ooh!
- Oh.

- I never show my ass
in drag or out of drag.

But I figure
when on national television,

bring your ass out.

She better trim those hedges.

- Uh, waiter,
there's a hair in my cake.

Arrietty.

Hi-ho, Silver.

The future is now.

Arrietty is representing
a time-traveling elf.

She is serving
satellite realness.

- Ooh.
- Wow.

- All right.
- It's fun,

it's fashionable,
it's sleek and sexy.

Do I look sickening? Check.

Are the cakes caking?

Check.

Girl, everyone wants
a piece of this.

The vajazzle cake.

Those are space cakes.

Jewels Sparkles.

- Oh.
- All right, now.

J.Lo, she better do.

- I am wearing
a leather pantsuit

that is meant to look like the
Puerto Rican and Cuban flags.

I'm repping my culture,
and what's more

Puerto Rican and Cuban
than showing off your cakes?

This is my signature eye look.

Girl, I look gorgeous.

There's no notes.

I look and feel
hot as fuck.

Ding!

- That ain't cake,
that's hot water cornbread.

Joella.

- I'm gonna put a moratorium
out on this look.

Bitch, I look so good.

This Marie Antoinette look
is making me

feel so opulent, like royalty.

And then I turn around
and bitch, boom!

There's a gag.

Oh.

Oh, wow.

- And they're going to want
to eat this cake.

Spank you very much.

Lucky Starzzz.

This look is wash and wear.

I'm not just giving you
a regular butt cheeks,

I'm giving you
sponge butt cheeks.

My look is giving
purple kitchen sponge.

It's camp with
a touch of glamour

and a touch of club kid.

I like to bring my own twist
into everything.

RuPaul is looking at me
and thinking,

what the hell is this?

But what the hells are
always good,

because I am trying
to shock people.

It's a sponge cake.

Ah!

- You better scrub
those cake pans.

Ooh!

Yeah, honey, you got
the Jackie Collins,

you got your Joan Collins--

Uh-huh.

- Here is
Lydia Butthole Kollins.

OK.

Or should I say, o-cake?

- I am a beautiful
red devil cake.

I made this entire look
myself.

This is ruched for
the heavens and hell.

I'm feeling super elegant,

a little edgy,
and very pointy.

- Honey, whatever you do,
don't sit down.

Suzie Toot.

- I am wearing
a Shakespearean-inspired

updo with a full skirt.

- Oh.
- Oh, is it a potion?

She's gonna--
- Don't do it.

She's gonna drink a potion.

Don't do it!

- I am going to drink
a love potion

to win the man of my dreams.

- Oh, she did it.
- Oh.

- But suddenly, the potion has
a different effect.

And then, bam!

I'm an ass.

Get it?

It's funny.

Hee-haw!

You gotta love a donkey show.

Who doesn't?

Welcome to week two
of Drag Queens Got Talent.

First up, well, howdy.

It's Sam Star.

Yeehaw!

The horse is still running

all the way from
the Magic City in Alabama.

Hit it!

Yeehaw!

Yeehaw!

- Sam Star's bucking
and kicking and...

And RuPaul seems to be living,

but RuPaul is not
judging this week.

And I'm not living.

Yeehaw!

I think I'm the most
humble bitch in the world.

Oh, God.

- Sam Star's performance
is good, but did that hurt?

I smell a meniscus surgery.

Yeah.

Is she really dead?

- Up next,
it do take Onya Nurve.

Yeah.

It's your girl Onya Nurve,
coming from the 216,

the 330, ho.
- Yeah!

- And you know
why Ru chose me--

'cause I'm that bitch
in drag and out of drag.

Get money in drag
and out of drag.

And I got a little
two-step for y'all.

You ready?

You better be.

Yes!

Yay!

- Yeah.
- Yay!

Yeah.

Onya Nurve got flavor.

This bitch got sass,
and I love it.

Why do I do that?

- We're gonna have to call
them burger people.

How I look, in, out.

Right foot in, out.

Love it.

- Don't be jealous
of her boogie.

It's Crystal Envy.

Hey!

Crystal, you fucking bitch!

Look at her go.

Mm-hmm.

All right, well, shit.

The diamond experience.

Yes, Crystal.

- Up next, here to make you
smile, it's Hormona Lisa.

Hey.

Hey, y'all.

Hey.

My name is Hormona Lisa.

That is like the Mona Lisa,
but a whore.

Yes.

- I am from Tennessee,
and in the South,

there is a lot of confusion
and hatred around drag.

And that is just coming from
the queens trying to do drag.

- Oh.
- I mean, look at this group.

They're obviously all confused,
and I hate that for them.

But the hardest part

about doing drag in the South

is maintaining your tuck
while having swamp ass.

Am I right, Ts?

- But seriously, it's a scary
time to be a drag queen.

Politicians want to legislate
us out of existence,

religious groups want
to pray the gay away,

and RuPaul wants our
combined life force

so she can live
one more century.

- I'm trying to laugh
at her jokes

to give her some energy
up there,

because my sister
needs a lifeboat.

Where are the jokes?

- My favorite part about doing
drag is the sense of community,

the rich history,
and the ability

to spread joy and beauty across
the land any chance I get.

Joy and Beauty are
what I call my legs,

and I'll be happy
to spread them.

- Well, my tuck just popped,
so that's my time.

- I don't know what Hormona
said her talent was,

but her talent must be
stopping time,

because that was the longest
minute of my life.

And I thank you.

Boo!

Goodbye.

Welcome back
to Drag Queens Got Talent.

Up next, she's here
to quench your thirst.

It's Kori King.

- Ooh, I had to go
to my barista

and get my favorite drink.

This is too good.

Petey, hit the track.

OK.

Yes, you do!

All gone.

All gone!

Yes!

All gone!

Yes.

- That ice was shaking all
off her costume, honey.

Girl, you couldn't E6000
that shit onto your belt?

- And now let's slip into
some sexy Lana Ja'Rae.

- Now, Mama Ru,
Lana Ja'Rae does

what she does
exceptionally well.

However--actually,
ain't no however, henny.

Go gag them a bit, daughter.

- Lana and I got this mutual
agreement, first and first.

Sorry, girls.

It is what it is.

- These kids are
taking chances, man.

I know.

- Last but not least,
she's ready to roll.

Lexi Love.

Oh!

Yes!

Oh, my God.

- Honestly, I'm surprised
Lexi is in roller skates.

Everybody back away
a hundred feet.

Oh, shit.

- She did a split,
and then another split,

and then another split.

OK, auntie.

She's feeling it today, honey.

Welcome, queens.

Tonight, Rate-A-Queen
rules are in full effect,

so there will be
no judges' critiques.

Instead, the queens
who watched you tonight

will rank you
from top to bottom,

starting with your neck,
your back,

your pussy, your crack.

While you Rate-A-Queen
backstage,

the judges and I gon' make
that booty drop.

You may leave the stage.

Nice work.

- OK, just between us
squirrel friends,

while the queens are making
their decisions,

I want to know what you think.

Let's start with Sam Star.

Ooh, she is charming.

She was performing every
word, and I felt it.

And then, of course, she
finished it with the death drop

from a hay bale.

I loved her on the stage.

She gave me that pro-am
thing that you see

at the little child pageants.

- Sam is just what her name is,
which is a star,

and I was enamored
by her essence.

- And she has this
Michelle Pfeiffer-ish

kind of look about her
that really drew me in.

And her cake, I just
wanted to bust it open

and just get right
in the middle.

- It made me hungry
for some cake.

Up next, Onya Nurve.

- Oh, honey, one word when I
think about her--uh, custard.

When she turned around,
sweetie,

all I saw was a sweet
center in the back.

- And then she came out here
and did "In and Out,"

and not the burger, the song.

I loved every
single second of it,

because she gave us a little
dance that we could all do.

- As a rapper myself,
I'm looking at song structure,

and Onya's hook was solid.

The way that Onya delivered
was incredible.

It was quick, don't bore us,
get to the chorus.

I love that song.

Can't wait till it comes out.

I'll be the first
in line to buy it.

Up next, Crystal Envy.

- The reference
with the tanning bottle,

I got it immediately.

I thought it was so clever
and really flirty,

but also kind of quirky.

- But that dog
clawing at her ass.

That's what just had me
in a chokehold.

- We were entering some
beastiality territory

up in here.

- Also, interesting choice
to be, like,

a muscle little girl.

Maybe it's just the New Jersey
in her that makes her

do such odd choices
and odd things.

And then the performance,
I thought

she looked really pretty.

I love that she did
two reveals

and she brought us there.

I thought the song was
actually produced really well.

She was great.

Kori King.

Kori King, is it cake?

Um, no, it's not.

- The most impressive part
of her presentation

was the color of the hose.

It's not an easy color to get.

- One thing that will stand out
is some colored hose.

Yes, some colored hose--

You are wrong.

--really do, yeah.

- Might I say
she pads very, very well.

Now, the dog should have
been chasing on that.

- Oh, yeah.
- OK.

- The performance definitely
made up for her cake.

I love the song.

The hook is so catchy,
and it was performed

really, really well.

- And I love the fact that
she got the word enema

into a song, so.

- You know,
I always want to get

the word enema into a song.

- I know you do.
Well, she did it for you.

- And she did it first.
- Yeah.

- All right, let's talk
about Hormona Lisa.

- Ru, I beg of you
to ask these queens

to stop doing Marie Antoinette,

because it's been done well
so many times.

Stop, stop.

Right.

We've had a lot of--
of that on this stage.

- You've watched this show
for 17 seasons, girl.

You know Marie Antoinette
is dead.

Oh!

Then her talent was "comedy."

- Oh, was that
the end of your critique?

If you're gonna come up here

and you're gonna do comedy,
you need to have jokes.

- Ooh!
- And it was not--

I'm not even being rude.

Like, you're an easy laugh.

Yeah, I am.

And you chuckled a few times.

But I feel like you did that
out of kindness.

So it just wasn't funny.

- I liked how the topic
around the jokes were

about real-life situations.

But I think that they could
have just hit a lot harder

and made me laugh.

I did laugh, I did laugh.

- I think you snickered.
- What did you call me?

Snickered.

- Uh, I was being polite,
because it did

feel a little bit
uncomfortable.

Hormona Lisa.

Was that it?

That was comedy.

Lana Ja'Rae.

- When Lana first started,
I was wondering,

how are we gonna make
this cake happen?

Because Lana is pretty petite.
- Mm-hmm.

- When she turned around and
I saw the back of that dress,

I thought that was so stunning
and so sexy and fierce.

- Everything doesn't
have to always be so big.

You can get a little cupcake
here and there.

Oh, yeah.

Her talent, on the other hand,

she let us know that Luxx Noir
London is her drag mother.

- Mm-hmm.
- However, Luxx owns the stage.

Lana Ja'Rae does not.

That high kick to
the death drop was fabulous.

But it was a little
kind of sleepwalking

up until that point for me.

Lexi Love.

Lexi Love, is it cake?

She had bamboo earrings
on the TV.

Yes.

- I'm kind of here
for all of that.

Then she came out in roller
skates for her talent,

and that's
the smartest thing to do.

Do something Ru loves,
and Ru loves to roller skate.

- When she split
and cartwheeled

and did all those gymnastic
tricks in those skates,

I was like, girl,
how could you do that?

I've always wanted
to roller skate.

You don't roller skate?

- I've never been able
to roller skate, Ru.

Doechii, do you skate?

I do skate.

I skate really well, too.
- Oh.

- I can do it backwards,
upside down.

- Wow.
- Forwards.

OK.

- So we're not talking about
what you do in your home,

we're talking about
roller skating.

- So in your opinion,
how did Lexi do?

- I thought it was
super controlled.

That takes a level of skill
that not just anybody can do.

It was very impressive.

- Lexi is 33,
still very, very young,

but in this competition is
the oldest competitor.

And you could see that
there's more to her

than just looking pretty.
- Yeah.

There's some depth there.

- I do like a girl that has
depth, especially in the rear.

All right. Silence!

Let's see what
the queens have decided.

Ooh, I'm sweating boots.

- It's about damn time
we got to rate

these mother fucking bitches.

- I'm realizing that this is
going to be a more difficult

task than I had thought.

OK, bitch, let's get into this.

First position,
I'm gonna put Lexi Love.

She killed the runway,
and nobody

beat her in the talent show.

In first position--

I'm gonna put Sam Star.

Sam and I are in
the same drag family.

And so I've definitely got to
put her high up on the list,

because I don't think
these other girls are going

to be putting her high at all.

- First position, I'm gonna
give it to Ms. Lana.

I got Lana's back.

We sisters.

I don't want to see the girls
that I like go home--

yet.

In second position--

I would put Crystal Envy.

Her runway was out of the box,

and she ate
that talent show up.

It was giving her drag
in every way possible.

- In second position,
I'm gonna put Lexi Love.

Third position--

- I got to give it
to my girl, Sam Star.

I loved her country number.

- This is where it
gets hard, honestly.

In fifth position, I would
put my sister Onya Nurve.

- Sam Star's talent show
was boring as fuck,

and her runway was
also boring as fuck.

So in sixth position,
I'm gonna put Sam Star.

- Ooh, I'm gonna have to put
Onya Nurve in sixth position,

and that really sucks.

But that runway look,

it was a stoned Amazon corset,
no shade.

Sixth position.

Kori King.

Getting this Rate-A-Queen
lineup correct

is critical to me staying here.

Who do I think I would
want to lip sync against?

It is life or death for me.

The one that I think
I could take on the best,

in seventh position,
is Hormona Lisa.

In seventh position--

I will put Kori King.

Kori's runway,
I wasn't really wowed by.

Sam Star.

It's just I'm not a fan
of, like, boring drag.

Hormona Lisa.

It's just not--

it wasn't the tea.

And that's the tea.

And that's the tea.

And that's--

--the tea.

And that's the tea.

And that is the tea.

Welcome back, ladykins.

Your fellow queens have
made some decisions.

When I call your name,
please step forward.

Lexi Love.

Crystal Envy.

Based on
the Rate-A-Queen results,

you are the top two queens
of the week.

- Yes!
- Sister!

Thank you.

Condragulations.

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

I had to yell.

Turn your TV down,
whatever you got to do.

Ah!

- I'm top two in the second
week of this competition,

and it's really starting
to set in where I am.

And like, I'm fucking on
"RuPaul's Drag Race," bitch.

Like, it's crazy.

- But tonight,
there can only be one winner.

Will the rest of you please
step to the back of the stage

to await your fate?

Two top queens stand before me.

Prior to tonight,
you were asked

to prepare a lip sync
performance of "Alter Ego"

by Doechii.
- Yes!

Work, bitch!

Yes!

Make me proud.

- Ladies, this is your chance
to impress me

and win a cash tip of $5,000.

- Bitch,
I'm shaking in my boots,

because I know
Lexi is a performer,

so I know she's gonna give me
a run for my money here.

But I'm ready to tear
this fucking stage up,

because I want that $5,000.

The time has come for you

to lip sync for the win!

Oh, this is not real life.

Bitch, I have waited
33 years for this moment,

and girls, I'm nervous.

- Good luck,
and don't fuck it up.

Look at auntie over here.

Crystal's rolling on the floor.

It's a battle
of the white girls.

I'm entertained.

Yes!

Yay!

Yes!

Wow.

Yes!

- Ladies,
I've made my decision.

Lexi Love, condragulations.

You're a winner, baby.

- Oh, my God,
I really just won.

I did not expect them
to be cheering

the way that they're cheering.

Lexi!

It was so genuine.

Like, it wasn't put on.

It wasn't like,
be nice to the old lady.

Like, my heart
is so full from that.

Ah!

- You've won
a cash tip of $5,000.

Wow.

Thank you, Doechii.

That was so fucking fun.

Thank you.

You killed it.

- Crystal Envy, you are
safe to slay another day.

You may both step
to the back of the stage.

Baby!

You did so good.

You did so good.

- Will this week's
remaining queens please come

to the front of the stage?

- When it comes
to Rate-A-Queen,

a lot of the girls are saying
that they are voting fairly,

but I just have a feeling
that a lot

of the girls voted according
to who their friends are.

So with that in mind,
I am very nervous.

Ladies, your fellow queens
have made some decisions.

When I call your name,
please step forward.

Sam Star.

Onya Nurve.

Kori King.

Lana Ja'Rae.

Based on
the Rate-A-Queen results,

ladies, you are all safe.

Thank you.

- You may step
to the back of the stage.

Hormona Lisa,
you have been rated

the bottom queen of the week.

I'm sorry, my dear,
but that means

you and Acacia Forgot are
up for elimination.

Assume the position.

I'm very disappointed.

I do think it was a risk
to choose to do stand-up,

and I do think that should play
a little bit into the rankings

because it's an actual
talent that people don't

normally do, but whatever.

Two queens stand before me.

The time has come for you

to lip sync for your life.

- This is exactly
what I wanted.

I feel very confident that
I am still gonna be here

at the end of the day.

Bring it on, Hormona.

- Good luck,
and don't fuck it up.

Come on, ladies!

Come on, girls!

Yes!

Come on!

This is it, girls.

Give it to 'em.

- I see a little glisten
in RuPaul's eyes,

and I am ready to show her
that I'm not about to be

kicked out by Hormona Lisa.

- Acacia pulls a butt plug
out her butt.

How did it get there, and how
long has it been there?

Yeah, sisters!

- Queens,
I've made my decision.

Acacia Forgot,
shantay, you stay.

Thank you so much.

You may join the other girls.

Yes, ma'am.

- Hormona Lisa,
I've got a question for you.

Are you feeling lucky?

I'm always feeling lucky.

Well, I hope so,

because I'm giving you
one last chance.

One last chance
to Badonka Dunk your way

back into the competition.

Badonka Dunk?

What is a Badonka Dunk?

But first, we need a virgin.

Not me.

You rang?

Virgin.

Mm.

Somebody lied.

- What the fuck
going on here?

- Hormona, before you
are 10 levers.

Two of those levers will drop
Michelle Visage into

the Badonka Dunk tank,

presented by Las Vegas.

If you dunk Michelle,
you get to stay.

If you don't,
you will sashay away.

- Knowing that Hormona has
a one in five chance of staying

in this competition
literally makes me

want to scratch my eyes out,
which I should have done

before her talent number.

Are you feeling lucky?

Yes, ma'am.

- Well, your luck is
Michelle's unluckiness.

Hormona, pull a lever.

Ten levers, eight chances

at going home,
two chances at winning.

It ain't happening, honey.

The house always wins,

and you ain't a part
of the house.

- I'm trying to think, do any
of these numbers mean anything?

One is the first one.

I was the first person
to be invited to the show

publicly like that.

I'm licking one of them to see

what vibrations
they're giving off.

Oh, my God!

Whoo-hoo!

Shit!

Wow!

Condragulations.
- Yay!

- You are free to slay
another day, Hormona Lisa.

Yes! Go me!

I'm just so filled with joy
and filled with relief,

and I just--I thank God,

I thank Ru,
I thank my phalanges

for grabbing the lever
and pulling it back.

I'm just so happy to be here.

- And Hormona,
you've won a trip

to the entertainment
capital of the world,

because Vegas is good for you.

Yay!

That's right.

Losing is the new winning.

- Hormona's saved,
and I am over it.

I did not put in all this work
for no one to go home.

- So now whoever lands
in the bottom

will have a one in a nine
chance of pulling a lever

and staying.

Like, what are the odds, bitch?

Condragulations, queens.

And remember,
if you can't love yourself,

how in the hell you gonna love
somebody else?

Can I get an amen up in here?

Amen!

- All right.
Now let the music play.

- Next time on
"RuPaul's Drag Race"..

You need to take fashion
inspiration from Monopoly

and bring it to the runway.

- It's time for me
to embellish my dress.

She fucking stole my trim!

- I'm not about to ask no bitch
for something that I need,

and we're supposed
to be sharing.

- Have your moment,
'cause you're not gonna

have too many more, bitch.

- You monopulated
my total focus.

I do not like this outfit.

Oh!

- I thought I voted
out of confidentiality.

- Do you think I was the worst?
- No, no, no.

Well--
- Ah!

Oh!

Oh, hell no.