Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,683 --> 00:00:02,923
Your mother's dead!
2
00:00:02,924 --> 00:00:06,562
You need time to mourn.
Perhaps you'd like to sign the
business over to me for the moment?
3
00:00:06,563 --> 00:00:09,482
I thought you could do
with a chum.
4
00:00:09,483 --> 00:00:12,922
Your son is missing, presumed dead.
What is the good news?
5
00:00:12,923 --> 00:00:16,602
You won't have to tell
your daughter the bad news,
because she has run away.
6
00:00:16,603 --> 00:00:18,882
Papa!
7
00:00:18,883 --> 00:00:21,002
I thank you for saving my life.
8
00:00:21,003 --> 00:00:22,562
I want paying.
9
00:00:22,563 --> 00:00:25,162
To London! I may yet save my family!
10
00:00:25,163 --> 00:00:30,642
The vision of his dead wife inspired
this help-the-poor nonsense.
11
00:00:30,643 --> 00:00:32,642
Jedrington! I remember every...
12
00:00:32,643 --> 00:00:36,202
Well, I shall provide him
with a vision of my very own.
13
00:00:36,203 --> 00:00:38,842
It's all your fault!
14
00:00:38,843 --> 00:00:42,042
Aaah! Aaah! Aaaah!
Sir! Sir!
15
00:00:42,043 --> 00:00:44,242
Noooooo!
16
00:00:44,243 --> 00:00:47,563
Oh, lawbs!
You've turned French on me!
17
00:00:48,563 --> 00:00:50,163
♪ Alouette, je te plumerai. ♪
18
00:01:27,026 --> 00:01:32,326
Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
http://UKsubtitles.ru
19
00:01:39,803 --> 00:01:44,402
Matches! Get your matches!
Matches! Get your matches!
20
00:01:44,403 --> 00:01:48,163
Petrol! Hot petrol! Get your hot
petrol! Madam, hot petrol for you?
21
00:01:49,603 --> 00:01:51,362
Extra, extra, read all about it!
22
00:01:51,363 --> 00:01:54,562
Rich businessman Jedrington
Secret-Past hurls self in river,
23
00:01:54,563 --> 00:01:58,202
copying wife who did the same after
being revealed as secretly French!
24
00:01:58,203 --> 00:02:01,402
Now his son's missing presumed
dead, his daughter's disappeared
25
00:02:01,403 --> 00:02:03,563
and his business lies in
mysterious ruins!
26
00:02:17,443 --> 00:02:19,483
Ha-ha-ha!
27
00:02:47,763 --> 00:02:49,043
I've come about the leaflet.
28
00:02:50,683 --> 00:02:51,722
Ah!
29
00:02:51,723 --> 00:02:55,202
Disguised as a freak
to avoid trouble.
30
00:02:55,203 --> 00:02:56,683
People don't like a Frenchie.
31
00:02:57,763 --> 00:02:59,522
Is she the real thing?
32
00:02:59,523 --> 00:03:01,123
Ooh-la-la!
33
00:03:02,043 --> 00:03:03,343
Excellent. Pusweasel!
34
00:03:07,763 --> 00:03:12,683
Perhaps there might be some
consideration for my service?
35
00:03:13,923 --> 00:03:18,202
You want money?
No, I don't want money!
36
00:03:18,203 --> 00:03:22,443
Maybe a recompense, a thankeetoken.
37
00:03:23,763 --> 00:03:26,723
Well then, hold on.
38
00:03:29,083 --> 00:03:33,362
Here, take this jade sculpture of a
piglet and be gone, low woman.
39
00:03:33,363 --> 00:03:37,242
No, I do want money!
I was just trying to be delicate!
40
00:03:37,243 --> 00:03:39,043
Give me some money!
41
00:03:47,323 --> 00:03:52,122
And if you slouch, the string
releases the deportment tiger,
42
00:03:52,123 --> 00:03:56,243
which will attack anyone
not standing properly.
43
00:03:59,803 --> 00:04:02,322
Mr Grimstone,
you have kidnapped me!
44
00:04:02,323 --> 00:04:06,522
My father trusted you, but it turns
out you are a vile fiend!
45
00:04:06,523 --> 00:04:11,403
Yes I am. In fact, I once won
Vile Fiend of The Year.
46
00:04:13,763 --> 00:04:16,123
You monster! Look out! The tiger!
47
00:04:18,003 --> 00:04:20,563
Aaah!
48
00:04:26,763 --> 00:04:31,003
Maybe the deportment tiger
wasn't my best idea.
49
00:04:41,163 --> 00:04:43,283
Is this heaven or hell?
50
00:04:44,323 --> 00:04:49,002
This is the East End of London
in the mid-19th century,
51
00:04:49,003 --> 00:04:51,562
so I'd say hell.
52
00:04:51,563 --> 00:04:57,442
Oh Lord, why did you spare me?
I wanted to die!
53
00:04:57,443 --> 00:05:01,482
I could help you die...
54
00:05:01,483 --> 00:05:04,002
for a small consideration.
55
00:05:04,003 --> 00:05:07,123
Do you mean money?
No! I...
56
00:05:08,203 --> 00:05:12,042
Yeah, money. I want money.
57
00:05:12,043 --> 00:05:14,202
Alas, I have none.
58
00:05:14,203 --> 00:05:20,163
All I own is my silk trousers,
my gold shirt and my cravat
made of five pound notes.
59
00:05:23,843 --> 00:05:28,243
Now, young lady,
meet your new tutress.
60
00:05:29,403 --> 00:05:33,842
You'll be locked in with her
until you learn to speak French.
61
00:05:33,843 --> 00:05:36,323
Why must I learn French?
62
00:05:37,403 --> 00:05:40,042
Oh, you'll find out soon enough.
63
00:05:40,043 --> 00:05:41,562
Ha-ha-ha!
64
00:05:41,563 --> 00:05:42,963
Ha-ha-ha!
65
00:05:47,843 --> 00:05:50,202
I really must grow a moustache
to twirl.
66
00:05:50,203 --> 00:05:52,362
Ha-ha-ha!
67
00:05:52,363 --> 00:05:55,802
There, everyone's happy.
68
00:05:55,803 --> 00:05:59,723
I've got your credit-clothes
and you can die here.
69
00:06:01,283 --> 00:06:02,523
Thank you, crone.
70
00:06:04,003 --> 00:06:07,483
Already, I feel the cold
stealing the very life from me.
71
00:06:09,443 --> 00:06:12,963
Oh, curse you, life-giving sun!
72
00:06:14,283 --> 00:06:19,202
Oh, why do you save me, oh Lord?
Is it to strive with every sinew
73
00:06:19,203 --> 00:06:22,083
to make amends for the harm
that I've done?
74
00:06:23,883 --> 00:06:26,883
Oh no, it's to drink gin.
75
00:06:31,123 --> 00:06:32,243
Argh!
76
00:06:34,043 --> 00:06:35,163
But not bad.
77
00:06:39,603 --> 00:06:42,363
Oh, Mama, you are not dead!
78
00:06:43,763 --> 00:06:44,923
Je suis ta maman?
79
00:06:44,924 --> 00:06:47,922
You do not remember?
80
00:06:47,923 --> 00:06:50,562
But I shall help you remember!
81
00:06:50,563 --> 00:06:54,962
And if you are alive, maybe father
and Victor are too! Woo!
82
00:06:54,963 --> 00:07:00,723
Once I wore opulent clothes.
Now I wear nasty clothes.
83
00:07:01,843 --> 00:07:06,602
A mud hat, a potato-sack suit,
84
00:07:06,603 --> 00:07:08,523
and seagull shoes.
85
00:07:13,723 --> 00:07:18,163
Oh Lord! Why hast thou emptied
my bottle?
86
00:07:19,683 --> 00:07:21,403
To make me get more gin?
87
00:07:22,843 --> 00:07:23,883
OK.
88
00:07:27,523 --> 00:07:32,843
At last, London! Where I might be
reunited with my remaining family.
89
00:07:35,563 --> 00:07:37,842
Ah, not London.
90
00:07:37,843 --> 00:07:40,443
Meaning London is even further away.
91
00:07:41,563 --> 00:07:44,642
But at least you shall have a chum
for company, dear Victor!
92
00:07:44,643 --> 00:07:48,082
Smalcolm! You too have
escaped from St Nasty's!
93
00:07:48,083 --> 00:07:53,282
I have! And where'er you go,
I go too! Chums forever!
94
00:07:53,283 --> 00:07:56,643
Chums forever indeed!
Now, to London!
95
00:07:58,163 --> 00:08:00,602
Not that good chums.
96
00:08:00,603 --> 00:08:01,643
Sorry.
97
00:08:18,523 --> 00:08:19,563
My shop!
98
00:08:23,043 --> 00:08:27,403
If people as feeble-minded as
the French can learn French,
how hard can it be?
99
00:08:34,843 --> 00:08:36,563
Jedrington!
100
00:08:37,803 --> 00:08:39,162
You are alive.
101
00:08:39,163 --> 00:08:43,523
Grimstone, dear partner. What has
happened to my lovely shop?
102
00:08:45,283 --> 00:08:50,682
In your absence, I sold the
company's assets to myself
for a penny,
103
00:08:50,683 --> 00:08:52,922
leaving it with only the debts.
104
00:08:52,923 --> 00:08:54,682
It instantly collapsed.
105
00:08:54,683 --> 00:08:59,602
On the plus side, though,
I am now incredibly rich.
106
00:08:59,603 --> 00:09:02,323
I thought you were my friend.
107
00:09:04,243 --> 00:09:05,723
Oh, almost forgot.
108
00:09:06,843 --> 00:09:10,482
Your wife's secret,
the one that drove her to her death?
109
00:09:10,483 --> 00:09:12,642
I revealed that.
110
00:09:12,643 --> 00:09:16,882
And Victor's caning accident
at St Nasty's?
111
00:09:16,883 --> 00:09:18,322
Me again.
112
00:09:18,323 --> 00:09:21,362
My poor betrayed family!
113
00:09:21,363 --> 00:09:23,442
My poor betrayed me!
114
00:09:23,443 --> 00:09:24,922
Pathetic.
115
00:09:24,923 --> 00:09:26,642
You splubber!
116
00:09:26,643 --> 00:09:29,843
You drayling trink-pot!
117
00:09:32,563 --> 00:09:34,762
Shall I kick his stomach out, sir?
118
00:09:34,763 --> 00:09:36,882
No, Pusweasel.
119
00:09:36,883 --> 00:09:38,683
Let Mother Gin take her course.
120
00:09:40,203 --> 00:09:42,483
He is already at rage.
121
00:09:44,043 --> 00:09:48,042
Blindness will soon follow.
Who said that? Why's it gone dark?
122
00:09:48,043 --> 00:09:49,323
And then death.
123
00:09:55,563 --> 00:10:01,082
And as you die, know that I hold
your daughter captive.
124
00:10:01,083 --> 00:10:04,602
She is mine now.
125
00:10:04,603 --> 00:10:06,402
Not my littlie...
126
00:10:06,403 --> 00:10:08,403
Ha-ha-ha!
127
00:10:10,643 --> 00:10:14,203
Are you gin-death, come to claim me?
128
00:10:15,283 --> 00:10:16,483
Servegood!
129
00:10:17,683 --> 00:10:19,723
Servegood, Servegood!
130
00:10:22,643 --> 00:10:24,082
Servegood!
131
00:10:24,083 --> 00:10:27,002
Couldn't let a good man like you
end up gin-dead, sir.
132
00:10:27,003 --> 00:10:30,522
Alas, I am not a good man.
133
00:10:30,523 --> 00:10:33,362
Oh, but you are.
134
00:10:33,363 --> 00:10:38,363
Thanks to the money you have given
me, I have become middle-class.
135
00:10:39,763 --> 00:10:41,802
Well, lower-mid...
136
00:10:41,803 --> 00:10:44,082
Thank you, Servegood. Thank you.
137
00:10:44,083 --> 00:10:49,082
Least I could do, sir.
Now, breakfast?
138
00:10:49,083 --> 00:10:50,443
Glass of gin, please.
139
00:10:51,603 --> 00:10:54,042
No, sir. No more gin.
140
00:10:54,043 --> 00:10:56,322
Please?
141
00:10:56,323 --> 00:10:58,482
Pretty please?
142
00:10:58,483 --> 00:10:59,723
Beautiful please?
143
00:10:59,724 --> 00:11:01,162
No, sir.
144
00:11:01,163 --> 00:11:02,522
Angry please? No.
145
00:11:02,523 --> 00:11:04,162
Give me some gin! No, sir.
146
00:11:04,163 --> 00:11:07,802
You are a gin-addict,
and must be cured,
147
00:11:07,803 --> 00:11:09,922
and to that end,
I have been studying
148
00:11:09,923 --> 00:11:14,043
the most advanced scientific methods
known to the medical world.
149
00:11:15,843 --> 00:11:18,243
Now...
150
00:11:21,723 --> 00:11:23,363
come and get it, sonny.
151
00:11:26,123 --> 00:11:29,322
I have written down everything
about your life
152
00:11:29,323 --> 00:11:31,442
and made it into a memory soup,
153
00:11:31,443 --> 00:11:34,522
and for pudding there is a
memory-jogging madeleine.
154
00:11:34,523 --> 00:11:36,003
Now, eat up! D'accord.
155
00:11:39,643 --> 00:11:42,522
Now, let's try again.
156
00:11:42,523 --> 00:11:46,522
Gin, sir?
No, take it away, don't hit me!
157
00:11:46,523 --> 00:11:48,723
Then you are cured!
158
00:11:57,923 --> 00:12:00,562
Victoria, dearest Victoria!
159
00:12:00,563 --> 00:12:02,242
Mama! You remember!
160
00:12:02,243 --> 00:12:05,403
Yes! Thanks to you
I remember everything!
161
00:12:08,483 --> 00:12:11,323
Ooh, holiday in Bournemouth.
162
00:12:13,323 --> 00:12:16,763
Conceptiva Secret-Past!
Mr Grimst... Oh!
163
00:12:19,803 --> 00:12:23,122
Oh how tiresome, you're still alive.
164
00:12:23,123 --> 00:12:25,122
Yes, still alive and still angry.
165
00:12:25,123 --> 00:12:28,522
And I am suing you
for ruining my business
and for the return of my daughter!
166
00:12:28,523 --> 00:12:31,602
Well, I shall sue you back.
But I sued you first!
167
00:12:31,603 --> 00:12:35,322
First worst, second the best.
Third the one with the hairy chest.
168
00:12:35,323 --> 00:12:37,082
Oh, don't be so childish.
169
00:12:37,083 --> 00:12:40,322
Victoria! My littlie!
I will save you!
170
00:12:40,323 --> 00:12:43,562
Papa! Aaaah!
171
00:12:43,563 --> 00:12:47,682
Oh look, my posture cudgel!
172
00:12:47,683 --> 00:12:51,442
Miss Tightclench,
I believe I have something of yours!
173
00:12:51,443 --> 00:12:54,282
No! You put Stoolie down!
174
00:12:54,283 --> 00:12:56,483
If you say so.
175
00:12:57,843 --> 00:13:00,482
Stoolie!
176
00:13:00,483 --> 00:13:03,523
Quick, Mama! Put these on your head!
177
00:13:05,243 --> 00:13:06,803
Posture, Miss Tightclench.
178
00:13:09,163 --> 00:13:10,923
Uh-oh!
179
00:13:14,043 --> 00:13:18,122
You are pathetic, unfit to have
a business or a daughter.
180
00:13:18,123 --> 00:13:19,403
I am not pathetic!
181
00:13:19,404 --> 00:13:22,002
Oh no? Would you like some gin?
182
00:13:22,003 --> 00:13:25,083
Aargh, don't hit me!
183
00:13:26,883 --> 00:13:30,562
Ugh! And now you're alive as well!
184
00:13:30,563 --> 00:13:34,162
Why is your family incapable
of just dying?
185
00:13:34,163 --> 00:13:36,563
Aaah! Urgh!
186
00:13:42,643 --> 00:13:43,922
Mama! Oh!
187
00:13:43,923 --> 00:13:48,202
Run, Mama! Find Papa!
Together you can rescue me!
188
00:13:48,203 --> 00:13:49,243
Aaah!
189
00:13:57,843 --> 00:13:59,083
Jedrington!
190
00:14:00,163 --> 00:14:03,802
Must my late wife's tones
haunt me evermore?
191
00:14:03,803 --> 00:14:06,482
Dearest husband, it is I!
192
00:14:06,483 --> 00:14:10,243
Can it be?
Conceptiva... beloved wife?
193
00:14:12,523 --> 00:14:15,522
I must tell you that by running
like that you have just broken
194
00:14:15,523 --> 00:14:18,722
the Victorian Gentlewoman's
Decorum Maintenance Act of 1843.
195
00:14:18,723 --> 00:14:21,123
Well, now I shall smash it to pieces!
196
00:14:25,643 --> 00:14:27,282
Blimey!
197
00:14:27,283 --> 00:14:30,403
I am French.
We are a people of passion!
198
00:14:31,923 --> 00:14:36,042
Oh, to see you alive! And Victoria
will surely be freed by the courts!
199
00:14:36,043 --> 00:14:39,843
Now, if only Victor were found,
we might be a family again!
200
00:14:41,723 --> 00:14:44,362
We have travelled far, dear chum,
201
00:14:44,363 --> 00:14:49,442
yet with you here beside me,
it has seemed... unfar.
202
00:14:49,443 --> 00:14:51,762
The benefits of strong chum-nosity.
203
00:14:51,763 --> 00:14:54,003
And finally we have arrived
in London.
204
00:15:00,363 --> 00:15:02,522
Curse these Celtic capitals!
205
00:15:02,523 --> 00:15:05,803
Wait, what is this?
206
00:15:06,883 --> 00:15:08,962
My parents are alive!
207
00:15:08,963 --> 00:15:13,643
And fighting for my sister!
We must to court!
208
00:15:21,203 --> 00:15:25,322
Oh joyous day! For today, the law
will return our daughter to us.
209
00:15:25,323 --> 00:15:27,602
Yes, and our business, I hope.
210
00:15:27,603 --> 00:15:32,202
Fear not, dear husband, for though
we can afford no lawyer,
we have justice on our side.
211
00:15:32,203 --> 00:15:35,962
Yes, and I have read this
book from cover to page four.
212
00:15:35,963 --> 00:15:38,562
Plus you have a loving and devoted
wife by your side,
213
00:15:38,563 --> 00:15:41,082
Mr Grimstone only has the
finest lawyer in Britain.
214
00:15:41,083 --> 00:15:43,522
Mmmm.
215
00:15:43,523 --> 00:15:47,123
All rise for his honour,
Judge Harshmore Grimstone!
216
00:15:48,283 --> 00:15:49,523
My uncle.
217
00:15:50,643 --> 00:15:53,083
The book says that's not good.
218
00:15:56,483 --> 00:15:58,202
So, how are you, dear boy?
219
00:15:58,203 --> 00:16:02,202
Very well thank you, Uncle. Looking
forward to winning this case.
Naturally.
220
00:16:02,203 --> 00:16:05,882
Now, as is his right, Mr Grimstone
has elected for the case
221
00:16:05,883 --> 00:16:07,882
to be decided by
a jury of his cousins.
222
00:16:07,883 --> 00:16:10,043
Hello, Harmswell!
223
00:16:11,083 --> 00:16:13,282
A jury is meant to be twelve...
224
00:16:13,283 --> 00:16:15,442
But I only have three cousins.
225
00:16:15,443 --> 00:16:19,122
Representing Mr Grimstone
is Mr Neverlost Dunthem.
226
00:16:19,123 --> 00:16:23,842
By the way, thank you very much
for the present, Mr Dunthem.
227
00:16:23,843 --> 00:16:27,402
And I understand you have chosen to
represent yourself, Mr Secret-Past.
228
00:16:27,403 --> 00:16:30,203
I have, Your Judge-iness.
229
00:16:40,163 --> 00:16:43,202
Really, this won't take very long.
Right, are we all ready?
230
00:16:43,203 --> 00:16:44,443
Three, two, one... go!
231
00:16:44,444 --> 00:16:47,642
I would like to call Mr Secret-Past.
232
00:16:47,643 --> 00:16:50,283
Boo! Hiss!
233
00:16:52,163 --> 00:16:55,522
Mr Secret-Past, you claim my client
deliberately ruined your company.
234
00:16:55,523 --> 00:16:57,682
I do. And yet I shall prove
235
00:16:57,683 --> 00:17:01,202
that it was perfectly clear from the
outset that my client was evil
236
00:17:01,203 --> 00:17:05,882
and thus it is your own fault
under the law of Caveat Idiot.
237
00:17:05,883 --> 00:17:06,922
Well...
238
00:17:06,923 --> 00:17:11,443
Did my client give you a card when
you first met? Indeed, this card?
239
00:17:12,563 --> 00:17:14,802
I have had an enlargement made.
240
00:17:14,803 --> 00:17:15,843
Here we are...
241
00:17:18,803 --> 00:17:20,802
But I didn't see...
242
00:17:20,803 --> 00:17:22,842
No further questions.
243
00:17:22,843 --> 00:17:24,562
Apart from one.
244
00:17:24,563 --> 00:17:26,003
How does my client laugh?
245
00:17:28,563 --> 00:17:29,643
I don't understand.
246
00:17:29,644 --> 00:17:32,683
Mr Grimstone, would you please laugh
for the court?
247
00:17:43,083 --> 00:17:44,483
Clearly an evil laugh.
248
00:17:48,443 --> 00:17:50,122
But... No further questions.
249
00:17:50,123 --> 00:17:52,482
Apart from two.
250
00:17:52,483 --> 00:17:54,243
Is this your signature?
251
00:17:56,403 --> 00:17:58,922
Er... a bit, yes.
252
00:17:58,923 --> 00:18:03,042
Interesting. Because it's on a
legally binding contract
253
00:18:03,043 --> 00:18:06,003
signing the company
entirely over to my client.
254
00:18:08,963 --> 00:18:12,842
Mr Dunthem, you said two further
questions. That was only one.
255
00:18:12,843 --> 00:18:14,203
Oh. Erm...
256
00:18:15,443 --> 00:18:19,323
What's your favourite colour? Blue.
No further questions.
257
00:18:25,723 --> 00:18:30,482
Dearest, you were brilliant!
Although I thought your favourite
colour was purple.
258
00:18:30,483 --> 00:18:32,442
Oh, damn, of course!
259
00:18:32,443 --> 00:18:34,282
Well, I think we've heard enough.
260
00:18:34,283 --> 00:18:38,002
I suggest we skip all the evidence
and legal what-you-may-call-it,
261
00:18:38,003 --> 00:18:42,442
and cut straight to the verdict that
Mr Grimstone wins. Do the jury agree?
262
00:18:42,443 --> 00:18:44,122
Mmm... Yes.
263
00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:47,562
Get in! Super. Right, lunch.
264
00:18:47,563 --> 00:18:48,962
No, wait.
265
00:18:48,963 --> 00:18:51,402
In the matter of the business,
I concede.
266
00:18:51,403 --> 00:18:55,522
But I do want my daughter back
and I will be heard.
267
00:18:55,523 --> 00:18:58,442
Dearest, you are so hot right now.
268
00:18:58,443 --> 00:19:01,082
Fine. But be quick about it.
269
00:19:01,083 --> 00:19:03,243
Bring in Exhibit A! And a sandwich.
270
00:19:14,763 --> 00:19:16,603
I would like to call my wife.
271
00:19:18,763 --> 00:19:23,323
Dearest... Mrs Secret-Past,
would you please describe Exhibit A?
272
00:19:26,603 --> 00:19:30,363
She is our daughter.
Our only surviving child.
273
00:19:32,043 --> 00:19:34,042
And we love her very much.
274
00:19:34,043 --> 00:19:38,762
When she was a baby,
she clutched my finger,
275
00:19:38,763 --> 00:19:43,442
looked at me and I...
I knew I would love her forever.
276
00:19:43,443 --> 00:19:49,203
No further questions. I would now
like to call Mr Harmswell Grimstone.
277
00:19:50,403 --> 00:19:53,322
Mr Grimstone,
why do you want my daughter?
278
00:19:53,323 --> 00:19:57,202
Because I, too, love her very much.
279
00:19:57,203 --> 00:20:02,083
Good answer! Well, sounds like no
further questions to me.
280
00:20:05,003 --> 00:20:06,123
Er...
281
00:20:07,123 --> 00:20:08,602
I have a question.
282
00:20:08,603 --> 00:20:12,642
Mr Grimstone,
what is my daughter's name?
283
00:20:12,643 --> 00:20:15,682
Objection! Woman!
284
00:20:15,683 --> 00:20:17,242
Sustained.
285
00:20:17,243 --> 00:20:21,082
Speak again, Mrs Secret-Past, and
you will be in contempt of court
286
00:20:21,083 --> 00:20:22,443
and of society.
287
00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:24,802
No, wait.
288
00:20:24,803 --> 00:20:29,242
My wife is right, and if I had
listened to her months ago,
none of this would have happened.
289
00:20:29,243 --> 00:20:30,282
Thank you.
290
00:20:30,283 --> 00:20:34,282
Don't push it. Mr Grimstone,
what is my daughter's name?
291
00:20:34,283 --> 00:20:36,362
Is that supposed to be
a serious question?
292
00:20:36,363 --> 00:20:40,122
This girl you claim to love so much,
what is her name?
293
00:20:40,123 --> 00:20:41,523
Well, it's...
294
00:20:44,483 --> 00:20:46,602
Exhibit A.
295
00:20:46,603 --> 00:20:48,362
Her real name!
296
00:20:48,363 --> 00:20:50,243
Erm...
297
00:20:52,963 --> 00:20:54,002
Exhibita?
298
00:20:54,003 --> 00:20:57,242
You do not know her name!
How can you claim to love her?
299
00:20:57,243 --> 00:20:59,283
Names matter not, love does.
300
00:21:00,483 --> 00:21:02,163
And I do love her so much!
301
00:21:03,403 --> 00:21:06,123
For know this, cousins of the jury.
302
00:21:07,643 --> 00:21:12,403
My heart has gone out to this child,
what's-her-name.
303
00:21:15,363 --> 00:21:19,442
I myself no longer have a family.
304
00:21:19,443 --> 00:21:20,882
Aah!
305
00:21:20,883 --> 00:21:23,722
My poor wife died in childbirth.
306
00:21:23,723 --> 00:21:25,442
Aah!
307
00:21:25,443 --> 00:21:27,802
Worse, not even her own childbirth.
308
00:21:27,803 --> 00:21:30,082
A heavily pregnant woman
sat on her to death.
309
00:21:30,083 --> 00:21:31,842
Oh!
310
00:21:31,843 --> 00:21:35,202
But - oh joy - she left me a son.
311
00:21:35,203 --> 00:21:36,922
Ah!
312
00:21:36,923 --> 00:21:41,363
Then - oh woe -
cruel fate took him too.
313
00:21:45,323 --> 00:21:49,043
Well, I was left de-familied.
314
00:21:50,483 --> 00:21:53,562
So when I saw young thingy-ma-bob
was de-familied too,
315
00:21:53,563 --> 00:21:58,803
my heart wept and I took her in.
316
00:22:00,443 --> 00:22:03,762
Her parents act
all daughter-lovey now,
317
00:22:03,763 --> 00:22:05,762
but where were they
when she needed them?
318
00:22:05,763 --> 00:22:11,482
Drinking gin and hurling themselves
in the Thames!
319
00:22:11,483 --> 00:22:14,762
But... she is our daughter.
320
00:22:14,763 --> 00:22:16,682
Enough!
321
00:22:16,683 --> 00:22:19,042
You broke the sacred bonds of family
322
00:22:19,043 --> 00:22:21,842
with your gin-drinking
and your Thames-hurling,
323
00:22:21,843 --> 00:22:24,242
bonds that I take
very seriously indeed,
324
00:22:24,243 --> 00:22:28,522
while this noble man is prepared
to offer this child
325
00:22:28,523 --> 00:22:32,282
a place in the best
family in Britain.
326
00:22:32,283 --> 00:22:33,523
Hear, hear.
327
00:22:34,683 --> 00:22:37,962
In the case of Secret-Past versus
Grimstone, I declare that...
328
00:22:37,963 --> 00:22:41,242
Let the proceedings
proceed no further!
329
00:22:41,243 --> 00:22:43,323
Victor! Dearest son! Yay!
330
00:22:52,883 --> 00:22:53,923
No!
331
00:22:55,523 --> 00:22:56,842
It cannot be!
332
00:22:56,843 --> 00:23:00,002
Oh yes, it can be... Father.
333
00:23:00,003 --> 00:23:01,282
Father?
334
00:23:01,283 --> 00:23:03,282
Father?
335
00:23:03,283 --> 00:23:08,482
Yes, I am Smalcolm Grimstone
and this man is my father.
336
00:23:08,483 --> 00:23:11,803
He killed my mother by dropping
a heavily pregnant woman on her.
337
00:23:13,723 --> 00:23:16,162
When he realised
I had witnessed his crime...
338
00:23:16,163 --> 00:23:19,362
I told him, bit of a
mistake in hindsight...
339
00:23:19,363 --> 00:23:23,282
he sent me to the worst school
in the world to rot to death.
340
00:23:23,283 --> 00:23:24,643
Is this true, Harmswell?
341
00:23:26,123 --> 00:23:28,042
Of course not!
342
00:23:28,043 --> 00:23:30,362
Look at this twisted freak.
343
00:23:30,363 --> 00:23:34,323
As good Victorians,
we should not believe him.
344
00:23:35,363 --> 00:23:37,403
We should exploit him
in a show!
345
00:23:39,523 --> 00:23:41,802
I am no freak!
346
00:23:41,803 --> 00:23:45,162
I am merely trapped in the same
shirt I was sewn into
347
00:23:45,163 --> 00:23:48,082
when I went to the school years ago!
348
00:23:48,083 --> 00:23:49,683
Argh!
349
00:23:54,803 --> 00:23:56,562
Smalcolm!
350
00:23:56,563 --> 00:23:58,123
You are tall!
351
00:23:59,323 --> 00:24:01,722
And handsome, very handsome.
352
00:24:01,723 --> 00:24:05,122
Which is an objective manly
judgement, and nothing beastly.
353
00:24:05,123 --> 00:24:07,442
Yes, I am a tall man of some looks,
354
00:24:07,443 --> 00:24:12,042
and I say that my father,
Harmswell Grimstone,
355
00:24:12,043 --> 00:24:14,283
is not fit to be a parent!
356
00:24:15,803 --> 00:24:20,402
The sacred bonds of family ripped
asunder! Intolerable!
357
00:24:20,403 --> 00:24:22,482
I'm sure the jury
will agree with me...
358
00:24:22,483 --> 00:24:25,282
when I say, Mr and Mrs Secret-Past,
359
00:24:25,283 --> 00:24:27,482
you may have your daughter back.
360
00:24:27,483 --> 00:24:29,163
Oh, joy!
361
00:24:30,483 --> 00:24:35,042
Wait! I have something to say
which may yet sway you!
362
00:24:35,043 --> 00:24:36,402
This had better be good.
363
00:24:36,403 --> 00:24:38,042
Simply this...
364
00:24:38,043 --> 00:24:40,362
Pusweasel, the blunderbuss!
365
00:24:40,363 --> 00:24:43,042
Goody, violence time!
366
00:24:43,043 --> 00:24:45,962
Why do you want my daughter
so badly?
367
00:24:45,963 --> 00:24:48,202
That's quite simple.
368
00:24:48,203 --> 00:24:51,602
One day soon, Britain and France
will no longer hate each other,
369
00:24:51,603 --> 00:24:53,362
may even become allies.
370
00:24:53,363 --> 00:24:55,122
That's a business opportunity.
371
00:24:55,123 --> 00:24:56,763
So?
372
00:24:58,003 --> 00:25:02,242
Your daughter is exactly
half French, half English.
373
00:25:02,243 --> 00:25:04,642
I intend to float her
on the stock exchange
374
00:25:04,643 --> 00:25:07,242
as the first Anglo-French
multi-national.
375
00:25:07,243 --> 00:25:09,442
I'll make a fortune!
376
00:25:09,443 --> 00:25:11,203
But my daughter is not a commodity.
377
00:25:11,204 --> 00:25:14,482
She's just a little girl
that we love very much! Oh, love!
378
00:25:14,483 --> 00:25:18,282
Yes, love! Not money, or power, or
big houses,
379
00:25:18,283 --> 00:25:21,922
or diamond underpants, or any
of the things you lured me with!
380
00:25:21,923 --> 00:25:24,802
I admit, I fell for the
blandishments of wealth.
381
00:25:24,803 --> 00:25:29,282
He did. I lost sight of love,
of what was important.
382
00:25:29,283 --> 00:25:34,202
My children, my wife, my family.
Too right.
383
00:25:34,203 --> 00:25:37,282
I was a fool. Yup. A complete idiot.
A total...
384
00:25:37,283 --> 00:25:41,082
Dearest, you are not helping as much
as you think. Sorry.
385
00:25:41,083 --> 00:25:43,402
For without love, what are we,
386
00:25:43,403 --> 00:25:47,003
other than a bald animal
with a gift for admin?
387
00:25:48,563 --> 00:25:52,122
Love is the woolly jumper to the
world's cold indifference,
388
00:25:52,123 --> 00:25:54,843
the custard to life's
not-quite-ripe rhubarb.
389
00:25:56,123 --> 00:25:59,523
And without love, we are nothing.
390
00:26:03,883 --> 00:26:06,403
Pusweasel, shoot him!
391
00:26:10,283 --> 00:26:11,563
No.
392
00:26:12,883 --> 00:26:16,523
This man has moved my wicked
heart to noble feelings.
393
00:26:17,923 --> 00:26:20,362
I want some love.
394
00:26:20,363 --> 00:26:26,962
Miss Tightclench, will you be the
custard to my unripe rhubarb?
395
00:26:26,963 --> 00:26:31,722
Are you suggesting a mutual bonding
of two desperate, lonely people?
396
00:26:31,723 --> 00:26:33,282
Yeah, girl.
397
00:26:33,283 --> 00:26:34,922
Hmm, sounds good to me.
398
00:26:34,923 --> 00:26:38,443
Oh! Posture!
So stern! Posture!
399
00:26:42,123 --> 00:26:44,243
Let us see love protect you now!
400
00:26:45,643 --> 00:26:47,763
Aaah! Servegood!
401
00:26:49,603 --> 00:26:55,963
Least I could do, sir. Thanks to
you, I have been middle-class.
402
00:26:58,163 --> 00:27:00,643
Oh, the things I've seen!
403
00:27:02,363 --> 00:27:06,563
Delicate woollen coverings
for toilet rolls.
404
00:27:08,563 --> 00:27:12,163
I have drank tea like this!
405
00:27:13,483 --> 00:27:18,043
Then politely dabbed my mouth
with a serviette.
406
00:27:19,683 --> 00:27:24,402
I have enjoyed being middle-cl...
407
00:27:24,403 --> 00:27:25,443
ah...
408
00:27:27,083 --> 00:27:28,123
class...
409
00:27:30,083 --> 00:27:32,282
Well, lower-mid...
410
00:27:32,283 --> 00:27:34,923
Servegood, I shall avenge you!
411
00:27:38,003 --> 00:27:41,362
Oh, damn! Look, just give me three
minutes to reload.
412
00:27:41,363 --> 00:27:43,562
Ah, no! Stop!
413
00:27:43,563 --> 00:27:47,042
In the name of the law, I cannot
allow this to happen to my client!
414
00:27:47,043 --> 00:27:48,083
Thank you.
415
00:27:50,803 --> 00:27:52,443
Now I can allow this to happen.
416
00:27:53,523 --> 00:27:55,282
No!
417
00:27:55,283 --> 00:27:58,242
This seems like
the aptest of places.
418
00:27:58,243 --> 00:27:59,883
I'll be baaaccckkk!
419
00:28:08,803 --> 00:28:11,802
Grimstone was right. There is money
in Anglo-French goods.
420
00:28:11,803 --> 00:28:14,842
There, sir. Half a pound
of Camembilton.
421
00:28:14,843 --> 00:28:17,322
And enjoy your ale with snails, sir.
422
00:28:17,323 --> 00:28:22,242
Or, how about this? Half-top hat,
half-beret. All the rage.
423
00:28:22,243 --> 00:28:24,562
One day, we may even be rich again.
424
00:28:24,563 --> 00:28:27,402
But we are happy as we are,
are we not?
425
00:28:27,403 --> 00:28:29,243
Yes. Happier than ever.
426
00:28:57,894 --> 00:29:03,194
Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
http://UKsubtitles.ru31739
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof