All language subtitles for Keeping.Up.with.the.Kardashians.S04E09.WEBRip.Netflix.en[cc]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,202 --> 00:00:03,970 -[Khlo� giggling] -[Lamar] You don't wanna play? 2 00:00:04,037 --> 00:00:04,904 [Khlo�] No. 3 00:00:04,971 --> 00:00:06,139 Okay, hold on. 4 00:00:06,573 --> 00:00:07,640 We can play, um... 5 00:00:07,707 --> 00:00:10,076 I've got something to show you. 6 00:00:10,176 --> 00:00:11,511 -[laughing] -[Lamar laughs] 7 00:00:11,578 --> 00:00:13,413 But this could be, like, if you don't do good in school, 8 00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:14,547 you get, like, a little spanking. 9 00:00:14,614 --> 00:00:16,583 -[chuckling] -[Lamar] So if you don't do your reports, 10 00:00:16,649 --> 00:00:17,784 if you don't get the answers right... 11 00:00:17,851 --> 00:00:19,119 I'm scared to use it. 12 00:00:19,185 --> 00:00:20,754 That's not how... You're scared? 13 00:00:20,820 --> 00:00:22,122 -Oh, yeah. -Don't be a little bitch. 14 00:00:22,188 --> 00:00:24,591 Tonight's the night of Lamar's first game... 15 00:00:25,425 --> 00:00:26,526 [in high-pitched voice] Ow! 16 00:00:26,593 --> 00:00:28,895 -[Lamar] Hurts a little bit? -No. [laughs] 17 00:00:28,962 --> 00:00:29,829 -[Lamar] You liked it? -Man up! 18 00:00:29,896 --> 00:00:31,331 [Lamar chuckling] 19 00:00:31,398 --> 00:00:34,000 But at least we have a few hours to cuddle before his game tonight. 20 00:00:35,568 --> 00:00:36,770 -Ow! -[Lamar] Yeah. 21 00:00:36,836 --> 00:00:38,872 -[laughing] That one stings. -Yeah. 22 00:00:38,938 --> 00:00:40,607 -[whip cracks] -[Lamar chuckles] 23 00:00:45,378 --> 00:00:47,447 Tonight, Lamar is gonna receive his championship ring, 24 00:00:47,514 --> 00:00:51,818 and I'm so excited that my entire family gets to see him receive it. 25 00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:53,586 -[buzzer sounding] -[crowd cheering] 26 00:00:56,423 --> 00:00:58,324 [both whooping] 27 00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:01,961 [Khlo� whooping loudly] 28 00:01:02,929 --> 00:01:04,764 [Kim] Go, Lamar! Whoo! 29 00:01:04,831 --> 00:01:06,132 [whoops] Lamar! 30 00:01:06,199 --> 00:01:08,735 Tonight is a home game, so I get to go to this game, 31 00:01:08,802 --> 00:01:11,371 but unfortunately, not all of them are going to be home games. 32 00:01:11,438 --> 00:01:15,141 He has 82 games a year. 41 here, 41 away. 33 00:01:15,208 --> 00:01:16,443 [crowd clapping] 34 00:01:18,111 --> 00:01:20,713 Khlo� and Lamar are gonna start spending a lot of time apart. 35 00:01:20,780 --> 00:01:23,883 His schedule's gonna get a little crazy and he's gonna be on the road more 36 00:01:23,950 --> 00:01:26,786 and this is gonna be the first time that they've really been apart. 37 00:01:28,321 --> 00:01:29,289 It's gonna be so weird. 38 00:01:29,355 --> 00:01:31,758 Since the day we met, we've literally been inseparable, 39 00:01:31,825 --> 00:01:35,195 and now, I'm gonna have to go without him for, like, weeks on end sometimes. 40 00:01:35,261 --> 00:01:37,063 [Khlo�] That's my man, bitch. Whoo-hoo! 41 00:01:50,743 --> 00:01:52,679 [laughing] 42 00:01:52,745 --> 00:01:54,681 -I'm just playing with you. -Please, let go. 43 00:01:54,747 --> 00:01:56,516 [laughing] Please, stop. You're hurting me. 44 00:01:56,583 --> 00:01:58,218 [Kim] So, like, how do you feel that... 45 00:01:58,284 --> 00:02:00,520 Like, Lamar, you're gonna be on the road working? 46 00:02:00,587 --> 00:02:02,889 [Lamar] I don't know. I mean, it has to happen. It's work. 47 00:02:03,189 --> 00:02:04,524 [Kim] Yeah, work is work. 48 00:02:04,924 --> 00:02:05,792 Right? 49 00:02:06,259 --> 00:02:08,294 [Khlo�] You're not gonna miss me so much? 50 00:02:08,361 --> 00:02:10,597 I am, but I'm used to being on the road. 51 00:02:11,264 --> 00:02:12,565 You gotta get used to it, I guess. 52 00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:14,400 [Kim] I know what she feels. 53 00:02:14,467 --> 00:02:16,202 This is the life that I've lived 54 00:02:16,269 --> 00:02:18,671 being in a relationship with Reggie for so many years. 55 00:02:18,738 --> 00:02:20,106 You have to do whatever it takes 56 00:02:20,173 --> 00:02:21,441 to keep the spice, 57 00:02:21,508 --> 00:02:25,111 and to just make sure that you guys spend as much time together as possible. 58 00:02:25,645 --> 00:02:27,881 [Lamar] Hey, you know, I'm a beau. They call me a beau. 59 00:02:27,947 --> 00:02:29,182 -A beau? -[Lamar] In these magazines, yeah. 60 00:02:29,249 --> 00:02:30,350 Are you Khlo�'s beau? 61 00:02:30,550 --> 00:02:31,751 B-E-A-U? 62 00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:34,154 He said he's never been called a "beau" before 63 00:02:34,220 --> 00:02:35,922 and he loves the word "beau." 64 00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:37,557 I'm gonna start to wear bow ties all the time. 65 00:02:37,790 --> 00:02:38,892 I'm a sex symbol now. 66 00:02:38,958 --> 00:02:40,026 [Khlo� and Lamar laugh] 67 00:02:45,865 --> 00:02:47,333 -[Scott] Heya, bug. -[Kourtney] Hey, doll. 68 00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:48,501 [Scott] I had a long day. 69 00:02:49,269 --> 00:02:51,704 -You did? -But I am ready for you tonight. 70 00:02:51,771 --> 00:02:52,672 You know that? 71 00:02:52,972 --> 00:02:53,940 Ah. 72 00:02:54,140 --> 00:02:55,041 Scott! 73 00:02:55,108 --> 00:02:57,544 -[Scott] What do you mean? -I'm so tired. 74 00:02:57,610 --> 00:03:01,247 I feel really bad. I've been denying Scott sex lately. 75 00:03:02,682 --> 00:03:04,284 -That was the only kind of kiss I get? -Yes. 76 00:03:04,384 --> 00:03:05,785 -Leave me alone. -I love you. 77 00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:06,986 No. Leave. 78 00:03:07,053 --> 00:03:08,221 -You have an attitude. -No. Go out. 79 00:03:08,388 --> 00:03:10,757 Wait, don't! Don't! Stop! 80 00:03:10,924 --> 00:03:13,826 -I'm just not in the mood. I feel like... -[Scott] Well, get in the mood. 81 00:03:14,527 --> 00:03:17,263 There's no more room to fit anything else in there. 82 00:03:17,330 --> 00:03:19,899 I'm not asking to park a dump truck in there. 83 00:03:19,999 --> 00:03:21,868 I'm just asking to let me get in there. 84 00:03:21,935 --> 00:03:25,104 At least I'm being honest with you and telling you, it's not you. 85 00:03:25,171 --> 00:03:28,107 It's not, like, I'm not attracted to you or don't want to have sex with you. 86 00:03:28,174 --> 00:03:29,909 It's just that I'm scared... 87 00:03:29,976 --> 00:03:31,177 [Scott] Well, you know what you have to do. 88 00:03:31,244 --> 00:03:32,378 You said you're attracted to me. 89 00:03:32,612 --> 00:03:35,215 That just put me in a clear line for a [bleep]. 90 00:03:35,281 --> 00:03:36,883 -Why don't you... -Why don't I what? 91 00:03:36,950 --> 00:03:38,518 Stay on your side of the bed. 92 00:03:38,585 --> 00:03:42,188 The truth is, I'm just scared that the sex is gonna hurt the baby. 93 00:03:42,255 --> 00:03:43,923 I hate not being able to touch you. 94 00:03:43,990 --> 00:03:45,792 -I love you. -I didn't say don't touch me. 95 00:03:45,858 --> 00:03:47,894 You just said to stay on my side of the bed. 96 00:03:47,961 --> 00:03:49,395 [Kourtney] If you keep talking like that, 97 00:03:49,462 --> 00:03:51,331 you're gonna have to sleep on the couch. 98 00:03:51,397 --> 00:03:53,166 If you keep acting like this, I'm gonna want to. 99 00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:03,776 -[Khlo�] It's such a gloomy day. -[Malika] It is. 100 00:04:03,843 --> 00:04:05,111 Summer's over. 101 00:04:05,211 --> 00:04:09,582 Wait, do you really know that Lamar's longest road trip is 16 days? 102 00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:11,818 You just still have to find a way to, like, 103 00:04:11,884 --> 00:04:14,320 still nurture your relationship at the same time. 104 00:04:14,387 --> 00:04:17,924 So when you're away from each other, you can still feel like you're connected. 105 00:04:17,991 --> 00:04:21,160 We could do, like, a scrapbook of, like, favorite memories. 106 00:04:21,227 --> 00:04:22,962 But what man is gonna carry around a scrapbook? 107 00:04:23,029 --> 00:04:23,930 [Malika] Yeah, I don't know. 108 00:04:23,997 --> 00:04:25,231 [Khlo�] Well, what else can we do? 109 00:04:25,598 --> 00:04:28,268 Maybe like, um... a video. 110 00:04:28,334 --> 00:04:31,204 Like a solo sex tape? Like, masturbation? 111 00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:32,272 [Malika laughs] 112 00:04:32,338 --> 00:04:34,807 I am not going to videotape you masturbating. 113 00:04:34,874 --> 00:04:36,743 -You would be like this. -[Malika laughs] 114 00:04:36,809 --> 00:04:39,345 You know, I kind of like the idea of a sexy little video. 115 00:04:39,412 --> 00:04:40,413 I could be naughty. 116 00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:42,482 Oh, my God. 117 00:04:42,548 --> 00:04:44,517 I should, 'cause he's obsessed with candy, 118 00:04:44,584 --> 00:04:46,919 bags and bags and bags of Skittles and put them in a bathtub, 119 00:04:46,986 --> 00:04:49,155 and be, like, sitting in it with a tiara. 120 00:04:49,222 --> 00:04:50,290 [Malika] That would be cute. 121 00:04:50,356 --> 00:04:52,525 You're gonna have Skittles in places you never had 'em before. 122 00:04:52,592 --> 00:04:53,459 [Khlo�] I mean, honey. 123 00:04:53,526 --> 00:04:55,061 [laughing] 124 00:05:02,101 --> 00:05:04,003 What about this schoolgirl outfit? 125 00:05:04,070 --> 00:05:05,872 Please be the plastic nurse. 126 00:05:06,773 --> 00:05:08,141 This is a sexy little video. 127 00:05:08,207 --> 00:05:11,277 So the first step is finding the perfect wardrobe. 128 00:05:11,344 --> 00:05:12,979 Can we go to a fire station 129 00:05:13,046 --> 00:05:15,848 -and get the big, baggy thing? -[Malika] Like, their coat? 130 00:05:15,915 --> 00:05:17,083 Can I ask someone? 131 00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:18,885 You might as well go all-out, right? 132 00:05:18,951 --> 00:05:21,387 [Khlo�] With all this stuff, I can't go wrong. 133 00:05:21,454 --> 00:05:23,423 I'm gonna have Lamar drooling after he sees this. 134 00:05:23,489 --> 00:05:25,491 The collar's attached to nipple clamps. 135 00:05:25,558 --> 00:05:26,959 Oh, no. 136 00:05:27,026 --> 00:05:28,928 Hey, don't knock it till you try it. 137 00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:31,397 Total comes to $586.15. 138 00:05:31,464 --> 00:05:33,466 [Malika] That's not bad at all, Khlo�. 139 00:05:33,533 --> 00:05:35,234 [Khlo�] "Not that bad"? Are you crazy? 140 00:05:40,239 --> 00:05:41,474 [Scott] Hey, bugs. 141 00:05:41,641 --> 00:05:42,942 -[Kourtney] Hey. -[Scott] What are you up to? 142 00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:45,545 Packing my, um, hospital bag. 143 00:05:45,611 --> 00:05:48,114 I had to buy ugly nursing bras, then I was like... 144 00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:50,850 -And you're wearing sexy ones now? -[Kourtney] Yeah. 145 00:05:51,050 --> 00:05:52,618 -Yeah? -Yeah. 146 00:05:52,685 --> 00:05:54,620 You don't even want to get naked in front of me anymore. 147 00:05:54,687 --> 00:05:57,357 -Yes, I do. I always run around... -No less have sex ever. 148 00:05:57,423 --> 00:05:58,958 Well, I don't want to have sex 149 00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:01,461 when I'm thinking about nipple cream that I had to buy today. 150 00:06:01,527 --> 00:06:04,697 Okay, I don't wanna think about nipple cream for pregnancy. 151 00:06:04,764 --> 00:06:06,199 Well, does this make you feel sexy, 152 00:06:06,265 --> 00:06:09,202 when I have to buy full-butt underwear that you have to wear? 153 00:06:09,268 --> 00:06:12,305 [Scott] Put a nursing bra on, some boy panties and some nipple cream, 154 00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:13,840 and that's my fantasy of you pregnant. 155 00:06:13,906 --> 00:06:15,742 I just think you're being annoying, and... 156 00:06:15,808 --> 00:06:17,343 [Scott] How am I being annoying when I'm trying 157 00:06:17,410 --> 00:06:18,778 to make love to you throughout your pregnancy? 158 00:06:18,845 --> 00:06:20,580 It helps the baby come quicker. 159 00:06:21,114 --> 00:06:22,348 So are we gonna do it or what? 160 00:06:22,415 --> 00:06:24,784 [Kourtney] Scott is being super annoying right now, 161 00:06:24,851 --> 00:06:27,286 and he's not taking my feelings into account. 162 00:06:27,353 --> 00:06:29,989 You're just being really selfish and insensitive 163 00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:31,324 and, like, don't make fun of me over it. 164 00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:32,825 -I'm not making fun of you. -Yeah, you are! 165 00:06:32,892 --> 00:06:34,260 You're [bleep] making fun of me over it. 166 00:06:34,327 --> 00:06:35,661 -[Scott] Put your nipple cream on. -You're such a douche! 167 00:06:38,131 --> 00:06:39,632 -[knock at door] -[Kourtney] Yeah? 168 00:06:39,699 --> 00:06:40,700 [Scott] You mind if I come in? 169 00:06:46,773 --> 00:06:47,640 Hi. 170 00:06:50,710 --> 00:06:51,577 I'm sorry. 171 00:06:53,479 --> 00:06:54,347 Keep going. 172 00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:56,015 I didn't mean to be rude to you, I was only kidding. 173 00:06:56,082 --> 00:06:58,651 I feel like this should be the time that we're the closest, 174 00:06:58,985 --> 00:07:00,553 and I feel like I'm the farthest. 175 00:07:00,953 --> 00:07:03,256 It's not just about sex. It's just about the fact... 176 00:07:04,056 --> 00:07:06,826 Having sex with you sometimes makes me feel closer to you. 177 00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:08,928 I don't what else to do anymore. I just... 178 00:07:08,995 --> 00:07:10,329 I miss a lot of things. 179 00:07:13,466 --> 00:07:15,001 [Kourtney] Scott has a point, 180 00:07:15,067 --> 00:07:18,938 and I miss us being intimate too. Like, we need to figure this out. 181 00:07:19,005 --> 00:07:21,274 Okay. Well, I miss you too, and you're right. 182 00:07:21,340 --> 00:07:22,708 All right. I love you, little one. 183 00:07:23,943 --> 00:07:25,545 And I love you, little, little one. 184 00:07:31,951 --> 00:07:34,353 [Khlo�] Wait, so, Kourt, what are you so afraid of? 185 00:07:34,420 --> 00:07:36,355 Like, I don't understand why you won't just bone him. 186 00:07:36,422 --> 00:07:37,356 [Kourtney] I'm not afraid. 187 00:07:37,423 --> 00:07:39,826 The baby's getting big and I'm small, so I was like, 188 00:07:39,892 --> 00:07:42,695 "How can I fit another thing inside of me?" 189 00:07:42,762 --> 00:07:45,097 I know that Kourtney's afraid to have sex while she's pregnant, 190 00:07:45,164 --> 00:07:47,934 but she needs to know that in all honesty, 191 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:49,936 there's nothing that will hurt that baby. 192 00:07:50,002 --> 00:07:51,437 [Kris] I've had six kids, 193 00:07:51,504 --> 00:07:53,239 and I was very sexually active 194 00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:54,474 -with all six kids. -[Khlo� groaning] 195 00:07:54,540 --> 00:07:57,710 I have never wanted sex more than when I was pregnant. 196 00:07:57,777 --> 00:07:59,445 -Ew, Mom. -[Khlo�] Ew! 197 00:07:59,512 --> 00:08:00,546 -Mom! -We just don't want to hear that. 198 00:08:00,613 --> 00:08:02,315 But you're also bigger than me. 199 00:08:02,381 --> 00:08:04,650 Okay, so maybe you should go to, like, a class 200 00:08:04,717 --> 00:08:05,785 -where they teach you. -[Khlo�] Wait, Mom? 201 00:08:05,852 --> 00:08:07,086 You can look online and find a class 202 00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:08,654 where they'll teach you, like, different... 203 00:08:08,721 --> 00:08:10,656 [Khlo�] Wait, what, you want her to go to a sex class 204 00:08:10,723 --> 00:08:11,924 while she's pregnant? That's sick. 205 00:08:11,991 --> 00:08:13,392 Maybe she needs to go to a sex class. 206 00:08:13,459 --> 00:08:15,394 Is it for pregnant people? Or it's... 207 00:08:15,461 --> 00:08:17,029 [Kris] Yeah! It's for pregnant people. 208 00:08:17,096 --> 00:08:18,564 If you want me to explain to you, 209 00:08:18,631 --> 00:08:21,067 like, sexually, what I was going through... 210 00:08:21,133 --> 00:08:24,537 -No, I would rather hear from a stranger. -[Khlo�] Okay. No, thanks. 211 00:08:24,604 --> 00:08:26,639 I was actually hornier after the baby... 212 00:08:26,706 --> 00:08:27,640 -[Khlo�] Mom, shut up! -[Kim] Okay. 213 00:08:27,707 --> 00:08:29,809 [Kourtney] I don't want you ever to say the word "horny." 214 00:08:29,876 --> 00:08:31,110 [Kris] I was horny! 215 00:08:39,986 --> 00:08:41,020 -[Officer] Hello. -[Malika] Hi. 216 00:08:41,254 --> 00:08:42,154 What can I help you with? 217 00:08:42,221 --> 00:08:44,423 [Khlo�] Today's the day I'm making my little love tape, 218 00:08:44,490 --> 00:08:46,492 and I'm trying a bunch of different locations. 219 00:08:46,559 --> 00:08:48,027 [man] Okay, now wrap your other leg around. 220 00:08:48,094 --> 00:08:49,629 -There you go. -[Khlo� shrieks] 221 00:08:50,997 --> 00:08:54,133 [laughing] That was so much scarier than I thought. 222 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:55,401 -[man] Good job. -I have to do it again. 223 00:08:55,468 --> 00:08:56,969 Whoo! 224 00:08:58,371 --> 00:08:59,238 Hi. [laughs] 225 00:08:59,305 --> 00:09:02,475 I never thought I was gonna be self-conscious in front of a camera. 226 00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:03,543 You ready? 227 00:09:03,609 --> 00:09:06,479 Baby, you gotta come home and put this fire out. 228 00:09:07,346 --> 00:09:09,081 Every time I try to be sexy, 229 00:09:09,148 --> 00:09:12,385 I just, like, make a joke 'cause I think I'm so stupid. 230 00:09:12,451 --> 00:09:15,421 You gotta come home, baby, so I can put your fire out. 231 00:09:15,621 --> 00:09:17,256 [laughing] I can't be sexy on demand. 232 00:09:17,323 --> 00:09:18,991 I'm, like, just so embarrassed. 233 00:09:19,058 --> 00:09:20,626 [sirens blaring] 234 00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:35,575 Yes! 235 00:09:36,208 --> 00:09:38,511 -Wait, there's more... Ow. -[Malika] Sorry. 236 00:09:41,781 --> 00:09:42,949 [giggling] 237 00:09:44,984 --> 00:09:46,452 [Khlo�] It's okay, little baby. 238 00:09:47,653 --> 00:09:48,654 Ow! 239 00:09:48,721 --> 00:09:50,323 That hurts my boobs! 240 00:09:50,389 --> 00:09:51,824 Oh, come on. 241 00:09:52,191 --> 00:09:54,060 Come on... See how hard that sounds? 242 00:09:54,226 --> 00:09:56,395 -[Malika] Well, watch your toes. -Ow! 243 00:09:56,462 --> 00:09:57,763 [Malika] Khlo�, stop being a baby! 244 00:09:58,965 --> 00:10:00,032 [shrieking] 245 00:10:00,967 --> 00:10:03,369 [Malika] Get ready to make a sweet message. 246 00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:04,370 [Khlo�] Okay, what exactly am I saying? 247 00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:05,805 [Malika] Just say anything. 248 00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:11,410 [giggles] I don't know what to say. 249 00:10:11,477 --> 00:10:13,913 I'm totally comfortable being sexy in front of Lamar, 250 00:10:13,980 --> 00:10:15,247 but not in front of Malika. 251 00:10:15,314 --> 00:10:16,649 This is so unnatural. 252 00:10:16,716 --> 00:10:19,118 You had such a good game tonight. 253 00:10:19,185 --> 00:10:22,388 Yeah. I want you to come home with me and take a bath. 254 00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:23,322 [snorts] 255 00:10:23,389 --> 00:10:24,790 I feel so lame. 256 00:10:25,157 --> 00:10:26,392 Mmm. 257 00:10:28,694 --> 00:10:29,562 Yum. 258 00:10:29,829 --> 00:10:32,431 [laughing] So cute! So cute! 259 00:10:32,865 --> 00:10:35,167 Oh, I feel like this would be... 260 00:10:35,234 --> 00:10:36,769 [Malika] It's adorable. 261 00:10:43,275 --> 00:10:45,211 So, um, what did Cici say? 262 00:10:45,277 --> 00:10:46,579 She said we can go to dinner tomorrow night 263 00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:47,913 anywhere from, like, 8:00 to 8:30. 264 00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:49,515 Okay. 265 00:10:49,915 --> 00:10:51,350 [grunting] 266 00:10:51,817 --> 00:10:54,387 I'm looking up these pregnancy sex classes 267 00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:55,921 that my mom told me about. 268 00:10:55,988 --> 00:10:57,923 'Cause she told me... 269 00:10:58,057 --> 00:10:59,258 Oh, you spoke to her finally? 270 00:10:59,325 --> 00:11:00,960 -Yes. -Aw, thanks, bug. 271 00:11:01,027 --> 00:11:02,528 It was traumatizing. 272 00:11:02,595 --> 00:11:05,197 She said, so you can have sex when you're pregnant. 273 00:11:05,264 --> 00:11:06,132 So we're good to go. 274 00:11:06,198 --> 00:11:07,833 She said these classes, like, 275 00:11:07,900 --> 00:11:10,603 just tell you everything, what you can and can't do. 276 00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:12,738 Pregnancy sex class 277 00:11:12,805 --> 00:11:14,106 might be kind of fun, 278 00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:16,409 and maybe it'll teach me a couple things 279 00:11:16,475 --> 00:11:19,078 to make me not as anxious 280 00:11:19,145 --> 00:11:20,780 about having sex while pregnant. 281 00:11:20,846 --> 00:11:22,848 I'm happy that you finally went out of your way. 282 00:11:23,249 --> 00:11:25,151 I know it must've been weird talking to your mom, but... 283 00:11:26,118 --> 00:11:28,054 I just want it to be back to normal. 284 00:11:28,487 --> 00:11:30,589 And if it means going to some weird sex class, 285 00:11:31,223 --> 00:11:33,926 I'll do it. I love you, and I just want to be close again to you. 286 00:11:34,427 --> 00:11:36,328 -All right. Well, I'm excited. Let's go. -So you'll go to the class? 287 00:11:36,729 --> 00:11:38,831 [scoffs] If it means I get to get in your panties again, yeah. 288 00:11:38,898 --> 00:11:39,765 It does. 289 00:11:45,171 --> 00:11:47,073 What happens when your water breaks? You just pee on yourself? 290 00:11:47,773 --> 00:11:50,009 It's like an explosion in your pantyhose. 291 00:11:50,076 --> 00:11:51,010 [laughing] 292 00:11:51,410 --> 00:11:54,480 So, Malika and I came up with this idea for Lamar to, um, 293 00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:58,150 like, take our flip camera and just do, like, a video montage-y thing. 294 00:11:58,217 --> 00:11:59,785 -Just, like, fun, and... -What? 295 00:11:59,852 --> 00:12:01,654 I have costumes that I haven't done yet. 296 00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:03,122 A nurse's outfit, a schoolgirl outfit, 297 00:12:03,189 --> 00:12:04,790 -just, like, random stuff. -[Kourtney] No way. 298 00:12:04,857 --> 00:12:05,891 Go get them. 299 00:12:05,958 --> 00:12:08,728 [Khlo�] I can't be any less sexy than I was with Malika, 300 00:12:08,794 --> 00:12:10,396 so I'll give it a shot. I'll put on an outfit 301 00:12:10,463 --> 00:12:13,065 and I'll try to do another little skit for Kourt. 302 00:12:13,132 --> 00:12:14,033 [Kourtney] Yee-haw. 303 00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:17,403 Okay. Let me get into position. 304 00:12:19,071 --> 00:12:19,939 Whoo. 305 00:12:20,973 --> 00:12:24,043 [Kourtney] Smack your ass. Turn around. Give it a little spank. 306 00:12:25,544 --> 00:12:27,513 -Okay. Was that good? -[Kourtney] No. 307 00:12:27,713 --> 00:12:29,148 Let's do round two. 308 00:12:29,215 --> 00:12:32,685 Poor Khlo�. She is so not sexy right now. 309 00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:33,919 [Kourtney] Oh, come on. 310 00:12:34,987 --> 00:12:36,255 Don't you have a bra? 311 00:12:36,422 --> 00:12:38,791 And you have a crotchless bodysuit on? 312 00:12:38,858 --> 00:12:41,093 Now do you feel super comfortable? 313 00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:43,929 I think the only way to save Khlo� in this video 314 00:12:43,996 --> 00:12:47,933 is to make it not sexy and to just make it cute and funny. 315 00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:50,002 I just need... 316 00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:51,604 a simple... 317 00:12:54,974 --> 00:12:57,243 And then at the end, turn around... 318 00:12:57,843 --> 00:12:59,145 shake your bunny tail... 319 00:12:59,411 --> 00:13:00,279 and that's it. 320 00:13:03,582 --> 00:13:04,617 [Kourtney] Turn around. 321 00:13:05,618 --> 00:13:06,685 [Kourtney laughs] 322 00:13:07,686 --> 00:13:08,587 Good girl. 323 00:13:09,155 --> 00:13:10,489 I taught you well. 324 00:13:17,563 --> 00:13:19,999 -[Kourtney] Hi. -[Helena] Welcome, welcome, welcome. 325 00:13:20,065 --> 00:13:24,136 This is "Survival Skills for Sex During Pregnancy." 326 00:13:24,203 --> 00:13:27,273 So, let's talk about whether sex is safe. 327 00:13:27,740 --> 00:13:30,342 It is safe. The main and the most important thing 328 00:13:30,409 --> 00:13:32,011 is that you be comfortable. 329 00:13:32,244 --> 00:13:34,446 How many of you are into rabbit sex? [huffing] 330 00:13:34,780 --> 00:13:37,116 That really hard, fast, pounding... 331 00:13:37,183 --> 00:13:38,484 -kind of sex. -[all chuckling] 332 00:13:38,551 --> 00:13:40,686 It's time to slow down and feel a bit. 333 00:13:40,953 --> 00:13:43,189 Okay, you've all been using these blocks, right? 334 00:13:43,355 --> 00:13:44,223 They're kind of nice. 335 00:13:44,290 --> 00:13:46,091 This can be your best friend. 336 00:13:46,158 --> 00:13:48,360 So now, we're gonna actually get into position. 337 00:13:48,427 --> 00:13:51,797 [Kourtney] This pregnancy sex class is very interesting. 338 00:13:51,864 --> 00:13:54,500 -[Helena] Ahh. -[all exhaling] 339 00:13:54,567 --> 00:13:57,069 -[Helena] Very good. Very good. -Oh, yeah. 340 00:13:57,136 --> 00:13:58,571 The leg has to be under the waist. 341 00:13:58,637 --> 00:14:00,105 So your leg... 342 00:14:00,539 --> 00:14:01,674 will go right... 343 00:14:01,740 --> 00:14:03,008 -Under there. -Right there. 344 00:14:03,142 --> 00:14:04,376 -Okay. -Okay? 345 00:14:04,443 --> 00:14:05,444 See what these guys are doing? 346 00:14:05,511 --> 00:14:06,378 Is this just a cuddle? 347 00:14:06,445 --> 00:14:09,081 Wait, does the penis get used in this exercise? 348 00:14:09,148 --> 00:14:10,749 [Helena] And this is really good for your legs. 349 00:14:10,816 --> 00:14:11,684 [Kourtney] How uncomfortable. 350 00:14:11,750 --> 00:14:13,219 How are you gonna reach this thing? 351 00:14:13,285 --> 00:14:14,854 [Kourtney] No, it's just... For you. 352 00:14:15,187 --> 00:14:16,555 [Scott] This is what I wanted the other night? 353 00:14:16,622 --> 00:14:17,723 Come squat on my face? 354 00:14:17,790 --> 00:14:19,725 This is a sick, deluded world we're living in. 355 00:14:19,792 --> 00:14:22,161 [Helena] You can use your fantastic legs. 356 00:14:22,728 --> 00:14:23,796 Hello, fella. 357 00:14:24,063 --> 00:14:27,166 Sex is that space where you go 358 00:14:27,233 --> 00:14:29,735 to be intimate, to be warm, to be loving. 359 00:14:29,802 --> 00:14:32,404 Connecting in many, many different kinds of ways. 360 00:14:32,771 --> 00:14:34,607 You've got the ability to connect, 361 00:14:34,907 --> 00:14:35,941 and touch, and look. 362 00:14:36,008 --> 00:14:37,776 That's my very favorite, even to this day. 363 00:14:37,843 --> 00:14:39,311 I'm so relieved to hear 364 00:14:39,378 --> 00:14:42,414 that sex during pregnancy is completely safe 365 00:14:42,481 --> 00:14:45,017 as long as you go a little more slow and gentle. 366 00:14:45,084 --> 00:14:47,453 All right, let's all go home and [bleep] these pregnant girls. 367 00:14:47,519 --> 00:14:48,387 -[laughing] -Let's go! 368 00:14:52,391 --> 00:14:55,094 I need help picking some more songs for this. 369 00:14:55,160 --> 00:14:57,096 -Mm-hmm. -Because I seriously... 370 00:14:57,296 --> 00:14:58,697 I've just been having second thoughts. 371 00:14:58,764 --> 00:15:00,633 I cannot get it together. 372 00:15:01,300 --> 00:15:03,202 [soft rock guitar music playing] 373 00:15:03,269 --> 00:15:04,236 [music stops] 374 00:15:04,303 --> 00:15:05,871 -That is so not a sexy song. -Wait, keep it! 375 00:15:05,938 --> 00:15:07,840 -[Khlo�] No! -How am I gonna tell in one second? 376 00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:08,774 [Khlo�] This is so awful. 377 00:15:09,875 --> 00:15:12,011 I'm editing this love tape for Lamar, 378 00:15:12,077 --> 00:15:14,813 and, oh, my God, is this awful. 379 00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:17,316 Like, I cannot edit it enough to make it look sexy. 380 00:15:17,383 --> 00:15:19,018 [slow funk guitar music playing] 381 00:15:19,084 --> 00:15:19,952 [inaudible] 382 00:15:22,788 --> 00:15:25,157 [laughing] 383 00:15:25,224 --> 00:15:26,425 [laughing] 384 00:15:26,492 --> 00:15:28,594 What are you guys doing? What can't I see? 385 00:15:28,661 --> 00:15:31,864 -Khlo� has a video that... -[laughing] No, please! Please! 386 00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:34,133 -...we've been working on for Lamar. -What, what are you doing? 387 00:15:35,267 --> 00:15:36,302 -Wait, you gotta press play. -Whoa! 388 00:15:36,368 --> 00:15:37,670 [Khlo� laughing] 389 00:15:38,871 --> 00:15:40,873 [gasping] 390 00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:43,842 [Kim] Khlo�, how did you film this? 391 00:15:44,276 --> 00:15:46,612 We could maybe play with this a little. 392 00:15:46,979 --> 00:15:49,615 -We need to just do it, like... -[sighs] 393 00:15:50,249 --> 00:15:51,116 What? 394 00:15:51,183 --> 00:15:55,054 This was a roadie trip present... 395 00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:56,622 Like, when he's on the road. 396 00:15:56,689 --> 00:15:58,357 -Just, like, to be cute. -Aw, that's so cute. 397 00:15:58,424 --> 00:16:00,459 He's never gonna come home if he sees this. 398 00:16:00,526 --> 00:16:01,593 I can't give this to him. 399 00:16:01,660 --> 00:16:02,761 -Why? -I changed my mind. 400 00:16:02,828 --> 00:16:04,630 -You have to. -Khlo�, it's made. 401 00:16:04,697 --> 00:16:06,098 -[Khlo�] This is so embarrassing. -[Kim] You went through all this. 402 00:16:06,165 --> 00:16:08,801 How many guys would love their wife 403 00:16:08,867 --> 00:16:10,436 to just give them something? 404 00:16:10,502 --> 00:16:12,938 I think Khlo�'s being a little hard on herself. 405 00:16:13,005 --> 00:16:15,607 I mean, come on. She's not a professional porn star, 406 00:16:15,674 --> 00:16:17,676 which is not even what Lamar wants her to be. 407 00:16:17,743 --> 00:16:19,011 You could slip it in his bag. 408 00:16:19,078 --> 00:16:21,513 -He goes out of town tonight, right? -[Khlo�] Yeah. 409 00:16:21,580 --> 00:16:23,182 Either you're slipping it in his bag or we are. 410 00:16:23,248 --> 00:16:25,517 [Kourtney] Tonight is the magic night. 411 00:16:25,584 --> 00:16:27,453 [Khlo�] You guys are such evil [bleep]. 412 00:16:31,724 --> 00:16:32,658 [Rob] You want to play Madden? 413 00:16:32,725 --> 00:16:34,493 I'm not really... I'm not really that good. 414 00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:35,494 Oh, my gosh. 415 00:16:35,561 --> 00:16:37,930 Tonight is the night before Lamar's first road trip 416 00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:39,231 and I'm really sad about it, 417 00:16:39,298 --> 00:16:41,066 so we're gonna hang out a little before he leaves. 418 00:16:41,133 --> 00:16:42,267 [doorbell rings] 419 00:16:42,334 --> 00:16:43,736 -[Rob] What's going on? -[man] You guys ordered pizza? 420 00:16:43,802 --> 00:16:46,405 -Yeah. -All right. Uh... $17.22. 421 00:16:47,406 --> 00:16:49,241 -I don't have cash. -I only have hundreds. 422 00:16:50,075 --> 00:16:51,543 Let me get some from Khlo. 423 00:16:51,910 --> 00:16:52,778 Khlo�! 424 00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:53,879 [Khlo�] Yeah! 425 00:16:53,946 --> 00:16:55,581 I need some money for the food. 426 00:16:55,914 --> 00:16:58,984 [Khlo�] My purse is right by the door. Just get it out of my wallet. 427 00:16:59,051 --> 00:17:00,185 Come on. 428 00:17:04,823 --> 00:17:06,558 -[Rob laughs] That's a porno. -Here you go. 429 00:17:06,625 --> 00:17:07,793 [Rob] Scott lifts a DVD 430 00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:09,728 with "XXX" on one side, 431 00:17:09,795 --> 00:17:12,698 and on the other side, a picture of my sister Khlo�, 432 00:17:12,765 --> 00:17:13,966 half-nude. 433 00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:14,900 Weird. 434 00:17:15,401 --> 00:17:17,169 [Scott] Rob, put on some video games or something. 435 00:17:21,807 --> 00:17:25,978 For the record, it is not my idea to play this DVD, at all. 436 00:17:27,346 --> 00:17:29,181 Mmm. 437 00:17:29,248 --> 00:17:30,949 The [bleep] is this? 438 00:17:31,016 --> 00:17:33,185 -Scott, what the [bleep] did you put on? -[Lamar] Yo. 439 00:17:33,252 --> 00:17:37,956 [laughing] 440 00:17:38,023 --> 00:17:39,758 [Scott] This is what you guys do with each other? 441 00:17:39,825 --> 00:17:41,927 -Ew! -[Lamar laughing] 442 00:17:41,994 --> 00:17:43,629 I cannot look at this! 443 00:17:43,929 --> 00:17:46,065 [Khlo�] What the [bleep] are you guys watching? 444 00:17:46,131 --> 00:17:48,300 -No. -Turn this off! Turn it off! 445 00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:49,635 How do you work this? 446 00:17:49,701 --> 00:17:51,570 This is so embarrassing. 447 00:17:51,637 --> 00:17:54,173 -Ew! What the [bleep]? -[Lamar laughing] 448 00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:55,607 My eyes! 449 00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:57,209 [screaming] 450 00:17:57,276 --> 00:17:59,478 Why the hell are Rob and Scott watching this tape? 451 00:17:59,545 --> 00:18:00,546 It's just sick. 452 00:18:00,612 --> 00:18:03,048 -I don't know how to work this! -[Lamar] Yo. 453 00:18:03,115 --> 00:18:04,783 She's not the sister I thought she was. 454 00:18:04,850 --> 00:18:07,719 [laughing] 455 00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:11,623 Oh, that was funny. It was a joke, right? 456 00:18:11,690 --> 00:18:12,558 [clears throat] 457 00:18:12,624 --> 00:18:14,426 [Khlo�] I know I shouldn't be this upset, 458 00:18:14,493 --> 00:18:16,061 but I am a little sad. 459 00:18:16,128 --> 00:18:18,664 You got a real freak in the sheets over there. 460 00:18:18,730 --> 00:18:19,898 [Rob] Khlo�, come here. 461 00:18:19,965 --> 00:18:21,433 -Khlo�. -[Lamar] Oh, that was too much. 462 00:18:34,546 --> 00:18:38,517 -I mean, that was classic material. -That's special. 463 00:18:38,584 --> 00:18:40,853 I think Khlo�'s, like, more embarrassed that we... 464 00:18:40,919 --> 00:18:43,288 What do you mean, bro? She's mortified. 465 00:18:43,355 --> 00:18:44,523 I'm saying she's upset. 466 00:18:44,756 --> 00:18:45,624 [Scott, sarcastically] Oh, really? 467 00:18:45,691 --> 00:18:47,226 You should probably find your wife 468 00:18:47,292 --> 00:18:49,394 and tell her, "I still love you, I think you're sexy as hell." 469 00:18:49,461 --> 00:18:50,329 [Rob] That's hard for her to do. 470 00:18:50,395 --> 00:18:52,865 -[grunting] -You better get in there, L.O. 471 00:18:52,931 --> 00:18:54,266 [Lamar] Oh, boy. 472 00:18:54,333 --> 00:18:56,268 [sing-song] Khlo�. 473 00:18:58,103 --> 00:18:59,805 Oh, boy. 474 00:18:59,872 --> 00:19:01,907 -[Khlo�] What? -Uh-huh. 475 00:19:02,007 --> 00:19:02,941 [Khlo�] Hmm? 476 00:19:03,041 --> 00:19:04,409 [sighing] 477 00:19:06,678 --> 00:19:07,546 [sighs] 478 00:19:10,482 --> 00:19:14,019 [laughing] 479 00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:16,855 No one else was supposed to see that. 480 00:19:16,922 --> 00:19:18,390 -Can I keep it, though? -No. 481 00:19:18,457 --> 00:19:21,026 Those long road trips, I'm gonna need it. 482 00:19:21,093 --> 00:19:22,161 What, so you could show everyone and laugh? 483 00:19:22,227 --> 00:19:24,630 No. Why would I show everyone that? 484 00:19:24,696 --> 00:19:26,765 You're the sexiest person in the world to me. 485 00:19:27,900 --> 00:19:28,767 Dead serious. 486 00:19:29,001 --> 00:19:30,536 [laughing] Even with that? 487 00:19:30,636 --> 00:19:33,372 Even with... I mean, even... That's a little different. 488 00:19:33,605 --> 00:19:34,540 [laughing] 489 00:19:34,606 --> 00:19:38,343 All a girl wants is for a man to make her feel beautiful and stunning. 490 00:19:38,410 --> 00:19:40,145 And I mean, he makes me feel that way. 491 00:19:40,212 --> 00:19:42,247 And he tells me every single day. 492 00:19:42,314 --> 00:19:43,749 And that's all I ever wanted to hear. 493 00:19:43,815 --> 00:19:46,919 -Glad you liked it. -No, I didn't like it. I loved it. 494 00:19:47,352 --> 00:19:48,220 I loved it. 495 00:19:48,453 --> 00:19:49,321 [Khlo�] Well, I tried. 496 00:19:49,388 --> 00:19:51,423 [Lamar] No, you didn't try. You succeeded. 497 00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:00,299 What is all this? 498 00:20:00,365 --> 00:20:01,567 [Scott] Surprise. 499 00:20:02,167 --> 00:20:03,902 This is nice. 500 00:20:04,002 --> 00:20:05,637 -Who would have thought? -I got our new little friend, 501 00:20:05,704 --> 00:20:07,706 -if you know what I mean. -Oh, no way. You got it? 502 00:20:07,773 --> 00:20:09,675 I'm so glad things are back to normal. 503 00:20:09,741 --> 00:20:12,244 I mean, it's not just the sex that I missed, 504 00:20:12,311 --> 00:20:13,845 it's the intimacy, 505 00:20:13,912 --> 00:20:16,715 and Scott and I have always been super affectionate 506 00:20:16,782 --> 00:20:19,251 and I'm glad that things are back that way. 507 00:20:21,353 --> 00:20:22,921 [Kourtney] Oh, yeah. 508 00:20:26,992 --> 00:20:27,993 [Kourtney] Hey, guys. 509 00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:29,261 -Hey. -[Khlo�, with accent] Hi, Kourtney. 510 00:20:29,328 --> 00:20:31,230 -Hiya, Scott. -How are you guys? 511 00:20:31,296 --> 00:20:33,899 -[Scott] Hey. -[Kourtney] What's been going on? 512 00:20:33,966 --> 00:20:35,000 [Khlo�] Don't strangle her. 513 00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:37,202 -Get your hand off her boob! -[Scott] Who did that? 514 00:20:37,269 --> 00:20:39,738 Scott, be a little more respectful around my mother. 515 00:20:39,805 --> 00:20:40,839 -[Scott] You're right. -[Kourtney] Come here. 516 00:20:40,906 --> 00:20:42,507 [Khlo�] Oh, my God. 517 00:20:42,574 --> 00:20:44,676 Ew! 518 00:20:44,743 --> 00:20:46,645 -Do you mind? -Oh, vomit. 519 00:20:47,579 --> 00:20:50,882 Ew! Scott! She's little! 520 00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:52,784 -Get a room! -Two can play this game. 521 00:20:52,851 --> 00:20:54,820 [Khlo�] Ew, Bruce! Ew! [bleep] 522 00:20:55,887 --> 00:20:58,090 [all shouting] 523 00:20:58,156 --> 00:20:59,558 [Khlo� screaming] 524 00:20:59,625 --> 00:21:02,194 [Kris] I am not in the mood! 525 00:21:02,261 --> 00:21:04,162 I am not in the mood! 526 00:21:04,529 --> 00:21:05,864 And you made me spill stuff! 527 00:21:05,931 --> 00:21:06,965 [indistinct conversation] 528 00:21:07,065 --> 00:21:09,034 [man] Honey, that's your ejaculate. 529 00:21:09,101 --> 00:21:10,302 [all screaming] 530 00:21:11,370 --> 00:21:13,272 [Bruce] That's the most I've gotten in a long time. 531 00:21:14,873 --> 00:21:16,775 [Kim] Next on Keeping Up with the Kardashians... 532 00:21:16,842 --> 00:21:17,709 Vegas, baby. 533 00:21:19,478 --> 00:21:21,413 [Rob] Kim's hosting her big birthday bash. 534 00:21:21,480 --> 00:21:23,215 We're here to get drunk, have a good time. 535 00:21:25,550 --> 00:21:26,652 No, no! 536 00:21:26,718 --> 00:21:27,586 No! 537 00:21:27,653 --> 00:21:28,854 -[Kris] Scott! Stop it! -No! 538 00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:29,855 Scott! 539 00:21:29,921 --> 00:21:31,256 You shut your [bleep]. 540 00:21:31,323 --> 00:21:33,058 -[Kourtney] Scott! -[bleep] 541 00:21:33,125 --> 00:21:34,593 [bleep] 41002

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