All language subtitles for Keeping.Up.with.the.Kardashians.S04E07.WEBRip.Netflix.en[cc]

[Kim] Tonight on
Keeping Up with the Kardashians...

[Bruce] We'll have a charity boxing event
with the family.

People bid on us and the highest bidder
gets to fight each one of us.

[announcer] Kim Kardashian!

[crowd exclaims]

This is not what we signed up for!

-[crowd exclaiming]
-His face mask is off!

[upbeat funky music playing]

[Kris] Bruce is speaking here tonight.

We all support
what everyone in our family does.

Tonight is a very special night

because Bruce is being honored
by The Boys and Girls Club of America.

The whole family's been invited
to be here tonight to show support

for the organization and for Bruce.

-[Kris] Hello?
-[Kourtney over phone] Hey, Mom.

Hey, Kourt, what's going on?

Where are you?

Just at the mall with Scott.

At the mall with Scott?

We're about to go into Target
to deal with our baby registry.

Target?

Kourtney, you're supposed to be
at this dinner with us tonight here.

They're honoring Bruce and it's rude.

Mom, it's not happening today.

I'll just tell Bruce that you couldn't
make it because you're at Target.

Khlo�?

Where are you?

[Khlo�] I'm at dinner with Lamar.

Why couldn't you just show up for Bruce?

It's, like, unreal.

I am sorry, I'm at an event with,
you know, my husband. I'm sorry.

I just wanted to confirm
you weren't coming, Khlo�.

I'm sorry to put pressure on you
but I'm so disappointed.

[Bruce]Charity is so important
that we give something back.

And to not have these girls show up,

when they have been so blessed
in their lives...

really disappoints me.

-[Kris] Whoo!
-[announcer] Let's welcome...

Bruce Jenner!

Thank you very much.

[applause]

Thank you for that very nice introduction.

It is so important
that so many young people,

provided with the right opportunity...

[Kris] Opportunity to be here tonight
to support your family.

[Bruce] ...have a tremendous opportunity

that they can really survive and grow.

It is so important that we
support our children in our communities...

I don't see Kim, Kourtney, or Khlo�.

Let's talk about support.

Yeah, support, support.

[Bruce] We all have
that champion that lives...

[whistling theme music playing]

[upbeat rock music playing]

[Kourtney] Don't touch that, please?

This is some sick...

[Kourtney]
You could be a horse for Halloween!

[Kourtney and Khlo� laugh]

[Kim] You guys, stop.

[Khlo�] Choking.

[laughs]

Ow! You're really choking me!

Stop!

Ow!

[Khlo�] It's hair!

Don't touch my sister!

[laughs] Khlo�!

-[Khlo�] Come on.
-No, seriously, Khlo�, stop.

Stop, it's not funny anymore.
You're stretching out my jeans.

-Kim...
-Khlo�, you stretched them out!

Like, a lot!

Kourtney and Khlo�
roughhouse all the time.

It's just not what I like to do.

I don't like to be touched
and picked up and hit

and slammed on the ground.

It's just not my thing.

You just ruined my jeans.

Your ass is huge. It's fine.

I mean, you're so, like, not fun.

[Kim] Who cares?

I'm not trying to be fun.

What do I care?

You just want to be a boring whore
your whole life?

Yeah.

[Kourtney] Let's go.

[Khlo�] Boo!

[both laughing]

[Bruce] Sometimes I can get
so disappointed with these girls.

The other night
at the Boys and Girls Club.

I mean, I was, like, devastated
that nobody showed up.

They all said, every one of them said
that they would be there.

Now, I think Kimberly had a good excuse,
at least she was working.

It's not fair to the charities.

I am so disappointed.

I really feel like I have to come up
with some charity

that the whole family
can get involved with.

To show these kids
that we gotta help out other people.

All right, I'm doing the dishes.

I'm gonna open a bottle of wine.

[Bruce] Of course, you are!

[Kourtney] Hey, doll.
Guess what we're doing tomorrow.

My mom's friend was over
and she had her three kids over.

She was like,
"I never get to do anything."

Like, her and her husband,
they don't have any help.

So my mom was joking around
that you and I should babysit.

-Like, Scott...
-Why?

Why shouldn't we? You...

I'll tell you one good reason why not.

-Why?
-I'm not a babysitter.

Look, you've never been around kids

and we're about to have one any day.

Exactly why.
I'm not an experienced babysitter.

I'm not gonna start now
babysitting other people's kids.

I mean, I'm gonna be there too.

-Like, I'm sure...
-So can you handle it?

I'm sure I have maternal instincts.

So what are you saying, I don't?

Exactly. So...

I'm good, I don't need to prove it!

-Prove it to me.
-I need to prove it to you?

-How old is this one kid?
-It'll be fun.

And there's three kids.

-Three?
-Yeah.

I'm not running a petting zoo.

You've lost your mind.

I already said yes. The kids are coming.

Love it and enjoy it.

Okay, I love you. Watch me
be a better babysitter than you are.

Okay.

Oh! Are you okay in there, buddy?

I'm Rob. What's your name?

Rocky!

-Are you guys ready?
-[Kim rolling R] Rocky.

[Bruce] Time for a family meeting.
Let's get everybody together.

I've finally come up with an idea

that I think is going to work
to give something back to this community.

So what's going on? Why are we all here?

You know, last week at
the Boys and Girls Club, it was upsetting.

We just didn't do it right.

But I think it's really important to me
as kind of the dad of the family,

to be able to bring the family together
and kind of keep us grounded.

So I came up with this idea.

And basically what it is, is...

uh, we'll have a charity boxing event
with the family.

[dramatic music plays]

What?

I'm trying to raise
a lot of money for charity.

The Dream Foundation,
an absolutely great organization.

And then, I was out playing golf
with a friend of mine

who actually works for TKO

and he puts these boxing events on.

And I thought to myself, "You know what?

That is something so different
and you get so much attention."

And, uh...

It's something that the kids
would never do.

What people do is they bid on us

and the highest bidder

gets to fight each one of us. Now...

-The highest bidder?
-[Kim] One could be like a serial killer.

[Rob] A soul assassin.

Well...

So someone could beat the [bleep]
out of one of us if they pay enough money.

-[Scott speaks Greek]
-Yeah, basically.

I'm telling you, a bunch of chickens.

We're not fighting professional boxers,

we're fighting, you know, people
that are doing this for charity.

They got all the protection,

it's gonna be sanctioned
by the Athletic Commission,

there's gonna be referees...

Come on!

Kourtney, I know you would do it
but you're pregnant.

You're out.

Honey, you got that bad neck, you're out.

So, it's gonna be Kim, Scott, Rob, me...

-[Kris] A bad neck, I'm like...
-There's no way that I'm boxing.

-[Kourtney] Why?
-Oh, come on, you'll box.

[Kim]
There's absolutely no way.

I don't care if it's for a charity or not

that anyone is gonna make me fight.

[Kris] She is not Sugar Ray Leonard.

She's not boxing.

She'll be... She'll box.

People want to beat the [bleep]
out of you.

[Kris] Bruce Jenner,

come to the office, please.

Bruce Jenner, to the office.

Thank you.

Hey, honey.

Should I shut the door?

-Yeah.
-Yeah.

-What did I do now?
-Okay, listen.

I really feel uncomfortable

about the fact
that all of you are doing this big fight.

-This boxing match. I think that...
-What's wrong with it?

-Kimberly...
-It's gonna be sanctioned.

I mean, there's officials,
they got gloves on,

they got protection,
nothing's gonna happen.

-Bruce, you're 60 years old.
-Me?

You're gonna be 60 years old
in five minutes.

Yeah, you.

What I got left over is more
than what most people ever had.

You just feel like
you have something to prove,

and I think your ego
is getting in the way.

Honey, I can handle anything.

-Really?
-Yeah! Watch me!

I'm taking no prisoners.

See you in the ring.

[rock music playing]

[doorbell rings]

-[Sarah] Hello.
-Hello.

Hello, everybody.

-We're here.
-How are you doing?

Good, how are you?

Hey, guys. Are you ready to get... sat?

My mom's friend Sarah
is dropping off her kids

and I'm really looking forward to this.

They're all super cute and nice.

Here's some flat water, not sparkling.

[Kourtney] I'm not trying to insult Scott,
but facts are facts.

He could use the experience.

Okay, you guys have fun.
Will see you later.

-[Scott] Okay.
-Bye!

-Have fun.
-You'll be back in an hour?

[Sarah] Thanks, we'll be back
in, like, five hours.

Hey, buddy.

Let's calm down, huh?

[crying]

[exhales deeply]

Tell me what the problem is,
and I'll fix it.

I'm a problem fixer.

-[baby continues crying]
-[Scott] Hey, buddy.

Kourt!

[upbeat rock music playing]

I'm thinking of going back to Miami
for a couple months.

[Kris] What?

I mean, we basically started that store

and then... left.

And we haven't been back since.

-Well, would Kourtney go back?
-Duh!

As soon as that baby pops out,
she's gonna have to get out of here.

Every time I had a baby,
I didn't run to another state.

-Yeah, you were...
-Especially 3,000 miles away.

You were married and a bore.

What do you think Scott and Kourtney
are doing with those babies right now?

The fact that she's at the house right now
with three kids...

is beyond.

I mean, do you think
Scott knows how to change diapers?

No.

He's probably wearing
a three-piece suit over there.

[baby crying]

-Kourt!
-Yeah?

Why don't you hold this little one?

Um... No, thanks.

Okay, let's... You guys...

You wanna sit down
on the table right here?

How long do I do this for?

-Hello?
-[Kourtney] A while.

What does that mean, a while?

[Kourtney] Okay. How are your cookies?

Delicious? Good.

-[crying continues]
-I gotta call a babysitter.

You can't just shove a bunch of food
down a baby's air pipe.

They'll get sick and throw up.

He should throw up on them.

Kourtney used to throw up on me
all the time.

Well, duh, she was a baby.
Kourtney's gonna go,

[imitates Kourtney] "Excuse me,
will you just pick up your bottle and eat?

What do you need me to help you for?"

Kourtney's gonna be so mean.

You have to give her more credit
than that.

She's not gonna be like that.

[baby crying]

-Don't pull my hair.
-[Scott] There you go.

[imitates Kourtney] "Oh, my God, baby,

what is this doing for you?

I mean, does it really help?

Your tears.
Like, what do these tears mean?"

[Scott] Doll, what are you doing
over there?

I don't know but he's pulling my hair.

[Scott] What's happening?
What's happening?

[imitates Kourtney] "Stop it now.
Stop crying."

[Kourtney] You look very uncomfortable.

He's crying!

You know, she's afraid to hold a baby.

[Kris] So wait until the baby comes.

She's gonna be speed-dialing my house.

Like a crack addict.

[baby continues crying]

-Scott.
-What in God's name?

-Help me.
-[crying]

Okay.

Oh, my God, one minute
with this little guy.

You guys all right over there?

Where are you guys?
You guys are good, right?

This is so, so, so...

He needs his formula,
can you get on it already?

Touching someone else's breast milk,
do you understand...

[Scott] If you want me to watch three kids

-and deal with the milk situation...
-...how gross that is?

This is so disgusting

and this is not stuff
that I want to be doing.

All right.

All right.

Now, we're talking.

This kid's going to work here!

Kourt, you're doing great, thanks.

No prob.

[doorbell rings, door opens]

-Hey.
-I'm doing a drive-by.

[Kim] What are you doing here?

[laughs] What am I doing here?

I heard you weren't too excited
about my boxing idea, so...

Ah, the big draw
for the boxing match is gonna be Kim.

I mean, who wouldn't want to see Kim
get into a boxing ring?

I gotta convince her that she can do it.

I have business and stuff.

I have, like, my Carl's Jr. commercial
in, like, two weeks.

If someone breaks my nose,
there goes my Carl's Jr. commercial.

Whatever money they think they have...
How about this?

-You can't buy your way out of this thing.
-Whatever money they think

that they're getting to bid on me,
I'll pay the Dream Foundation double.

[laughs]

So that actually benefits
the Dream Foundation.

Yeah, the whole idea of this thing
is to do something different...

Is to raise money for charity,
so if I paid the charity...

...to do something different
with the family.

No, that's not...

Something we would traditionally never do.

You will go through this experience
and you'll come out

the other side, a stronger person.

I'm probably
not gonna get out of this one.

Bruce has his mind set up
that we're gonna go box.

So, fine, I agree to do it,

but the first chance that I get,

I'm just gonna fall out on the floor
and take a dive.

You never said I had to win.
You said I have to box.

Okay, I'll start off with that,
that you'll do it.

And we'll work on the fighting side of it.

Perfect. I'll get in the ring.

Overcoming your fears is all good.

-Okay?
-Yeah, yeah.

And remember, when you see this coming...

-I'm just gonna go...
-Back up or duck.

[rock music playing]

I was a witch for Halloween.

[Scott] No.

Yes, I was.

[Scott] Why are you trying
to scare me like that?

You know I'm scared of witches.

-What were you?
-He was Buzz.

-Buzz Lightyear to the rescue!
-[baby cries]

-Say it.
-[boy] No.

-[Scott] Say it.
-[giggling]

[Scott makes buzzard sound]
What the...

[hisses]

[Scott screams] Oh, my God, man!

I'm really shocked at how well
Scott is doing with all these kids.

[Scott] Ball me!

Slink me!

Nice, nice.

[yells] Oh!

Wake up!

-[roars]
-[screams]

Come here, you little frog!

Are you not a frog?

Ah, you're a froggy!

[Kourtney] Scott is handling this
so, so well.

But on the other hand, I'm wondering,

am I ready for this?

-[cries]
-Ugh, don't cry.

[roaring]

[Kourtney] Scott!

-Scott!
-[roaring]

Scott!

[Scott] What?

I'll be back in two minutes.

If I'm not, just wait longer.

[both laugh]

What's the situat...

Whoa! What a schmeckle on this kid!

[Kourtney] Do you see stuff in it?

Oh, there's no poop, thank God.

[Scott] Nah, you're good.

Good to go.

Let's get you suited back up.

Done-zo!

[Kourtney]I just feel like I'm gonna be
such a horrible mom.

What a crazy reality check.

Oh, yeah, you like that?

[baby hiccups]

All right, you're good.
Let's go back to the woman.

Here, doll.

[Kourtney] No, he's crying.

[Scott] You gotta learn
to deal with the crying.

He'll get over it
as long as you're good with him.

You guys wanna go to the toy store?

-Yeah.
-On me.

Toy store! Whoo!

[Kourtney] Oh, my God, Scott cannot
leave me alone with this baby.

[Scott] Living the dream.

[baby cries]

[baby crying]

[indistinct]

All right, let's get you
all hooked up, partner.

Okay, we're good.

[crying]

-All right.
-[cell phone chimes]

What happened?

[Scott] So I get this text
from Kourtney saying,

"Get back to the house!!"

She has completely lost her mind.

[baby crying]

Doll, what's wrong with you?

Can you take the baby?

Okay.

All right, kid, let's calm down.

You're a good little sleeping baby.

I'm gonna sleep good tonight too now,

'cause now you got me tired.

[Kourtney] I know I didn't have
a lot of faith in Scott before,

and I thought that he needed
the experience,

but I'm glad that I was wrong
and that at least

one of us knows what we're doing.

You finally got him to sleep?

[Scott] Yeah, it's not that hard.

Just told him a little goodnight story.

I told him how I met you.

[Scott exhales]

[doorbell rings]

-Hi.
-[Sarah] Hello.

-How are you?
-Cold. Hey!

-Hey, guys!
-Look who's here!

[kids babbling]

-[Sarah] Did they wear you out?
-[Kourtney] Yeah.

[Kourtney] Thank God
these kids' mother's back.

I am so excited to just forget
about this miserable day.

-He's been sleeping for a little.
-[Sarah] Is he zonked?

He was pretty tired.

You look pretty comfy.

Yeah, he's doing good.

I actually surprised myself.

I never in a million years
thought I'd be a decent...

"man-sitter"?

But I did okay.

I feel better knowing
I'm gonna be a pretty good father.

You guys wanna come say bye to me?

Give me a high five-ish or something?

A hug, a kiss, something?

[Kourtney] Bye, guys!

Come on, guys! [growls]

Off you go.

-[Sarah] Here we go.
-Bye-bye.

Thank you very much.

You guys get home safe.

Car seats.

Whoo!

[Khlo�] Today is the first day
of our boxing training.

I'm so excited to see
what everyone else is gonna do,

especially Kim.

[Robert] Boxing's a rhythm.

If anyone can dance, they can box.

You guys can't dance.

-No, I was not good at dancing.
-[Robert] Yo, come on.

[Khlo�] Didn't you see
Dancing with the Stars?

-Yeah.
-[Scott] She was awesome.

[Khlo�] She was eliminated
the second week.

I just feel like it's getting in the way.

What happened to the genetics
when it came to Kim?

She doesn't seem to be very tough at all.

Too much Chanel too young.

Why is he jumping like that?

-I don't know.
-Like, he's a left-legged kangaroo.

Kangaroo Bruce.

[Bruce]
Doing this boxing stuff.

Show these kids
that the old man still got it.

It's fun stuff!

[Robert] All right, move around, Khlo.

My godfather is Sugar Ray Leonard,

so I think I've always
kind of had a desire for boxing.

I love boxing as a workout.

And I've been doing it
for years and years.

[Robert] Time!

Way to kick some ass, Khlo�.

[Kim]
Khlo� is bad ass in the ring.

I know I cannot fight like that.

I'm going to be humiliated
and I know I'm gonna get hurt.

[man] Let's go, round one!

-[Robert] Time in.
-[Khlo�] And then, he's gonna hit you.

[Kim] I don't care about hurting anyone,
I care about me being hurt.

Let me just hit you
so you can know how it feels.

[Kim] Okay.

[screams]

Yeah, get mad, Kim! Get mad!

-[Scott] Khlo�, just get in there!
-Get mad! Get mad!

[Khlo�] I just [bleep] your boyfriend,
get mad!

[laughing]

[Kim] Ow!

[man] Time!

You could hit really hard
but you try to be so pretty all the time

with all your makeup and eye liner.

[Scott] Doll, I'm home.

How was your...

workout?

Tiring.

What did you do all day?

Just chilled.

Did you do, like,
your baby reading and stuff?

No.

What do you mean?

After babysitting,
I just feel like I'm an awful parent,

so what's...

Doll, you weren't supposed
to be a parent.

You were supposed to be a babysitter.

Those weren't your kids.

I had these people over to like,

try to show you

-and test your skills.
-Let me tell you something.

Even if I weren't great,
I'd hope you would treat me

the way I'm treating you and understand

that those weren't our kids,

and when it happens to be our own,

it'll be a different thing
and we'll be great.

I'm so grateful that I have Scott here,

who has confidence in me.

And I feel so bad
that I was so skeptical of him.

[Scott] Give yourself a break.
You're gonna be amazing.

You are in everything you do.

Okay?

Okay.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

[knock at door]

-Sunshine.
-[Scott] What are the chances?

[Bruce clapping] She made it!

It's time.

Let's go down and do it.

-[Kim] Wait, I have to go to the bathroom.
-Come on!

[Bruce] Make it quick.

[Bruce]
Today, the big auction.

We're gonna find out how much
we're worth in the ring and, uh...

how much we're gonna raise for charity

and who we're gonna fight,
even more importantly.

[Kim] I don't feel good.
I feel like I'm gonna throw up!

-[Bruce] That's the wrong way.
-Where are you going?

Where did you go?

[laughs]

Wait. You're drinking a Coke
in the closet?

Let's go.

[Kim] Ooh, Kardashian.

[Rob] Oh, my God.

[Scott] Oh, this is awkward city.

[Bruce] How you doing?

[Khlo�]
I think you could safely say

that all of us are...

very uncomfortable.

Hi, everybody. We'd like to welcome you

to the Kardashian
Charity Knockout auction.

[applause, cheering]

The winners from today's auction
will, of course,

box in the main event
at the Commerce Casino here in Los Angles.

Your money today

is going to benefit the Dream Foundation,

which is the first and largest
national granting organization for adults

with life-threatening illnesses.

So, it's a wonderful charity

and they are ready to box

and you're gonna bid on them.

We're not that ready.

[audience laughs]

Most of these people look like they,
you know, are here for the cause,

but this is terrifying.

There's a few people
you can definitely tell

just kind of want to say
they've knocked out a Kardashian.

First up in today's auction block

is a very rare opportunity...

Boo.

...a gold medal Olympian,
Bruce Jenner, right here to my right.

Let's give a round of applause.

We'll take the opening bid at $100.

Do I hear $100?

At $100.
We go $200 and $300 and $400?

Do I have a bid for $400 and $500?

Come on, two grand!

-[auctioneer] That's right! Come on!
-Come on!

We got two grand.

-[bangs gavel]
-Sold for $2,000!

Hey!

[crowd cheering]

[Khlo�] Bruce's opponent
is much younger than Bruce.

He is bulkier than Bruce.

He has tattoos everywhere.

I mean, Mr. 76

is about to be 86'd.

So now, we're going
to offer an opportunity

to step into the boxing ring
with the one and only,

the lovely, Kim Kardashian.

Let's give her a round of applause
for rendering some services here.

-Very good.
-[applause]

A thousand off to my left.

A thousand. $1,100?

$1,100.

Do I hear $1,200?

$1,500 on the outside with 60.

$1,800. Do I hear $2,000?

Fair warning, selling at $2,000.

-Down it goes.
-[Rob] Boo!

[Kim] I know, I'm in for it.

She looks, like, mean and big and strong.

Her biceps are, like, ripped.

Please be easy on me.

-I beg you...
-[applause]

Now, we're going to offer an opportunity

to box Rob Kardashian.

[audience cheering]

Khlo� Kardashian.

[auctioneer calling]

[Kim] I can't believe that we're in a room
with a bunch of people

that are willing to spend money
to beat us up.

Just not cool.

Ladies and gentlemen,
that concludes today's auction.

We thank you all for coming
and supporting a great cause.

-[applause]
-[Bruce] See you all in the ring!

[Kim] See you in the ring!

Now, let's get out of there.

I'm not a boxer!

[Bruce] Don't run away, girls.

Kim's person has the biggest arms.

What are you talking about?

My dude is [bleep].

[Khlo�] Yeah, and Rob's got...

You are [bleep] gonna get your ass kicked.

-He's so scary.
-You're gonna get your ass kicked.

[upbeat music playing]

[Scott] Big night, baby, big night!

You guys ready for this one?

Yes or no, yes or no?

Get the hell out of here.

Are you that nervous
that you're gonna act like that?

I am, Bruce.

I masturbated right before I showered

and they say
you're not supposed to ejaculate

before a fight.

I'm thinking about [bleep] mid-fight.

I literally have, like, a nervous pee,

so I've got to pee.

[Bruce] Just keep walking.

-[Bruce] Come on.
-Whoa!

[Bruce] They're sending helicopters
to pick us up at the airport

and fly us out to the casino.

Let's go.

Ain't that easier than driving?

That is probably gonna be easier
than the boxing tonight.

Yeah.

Guys, a little time to relax
before the big one.

[exhales]

Ah!

Hi!

[Bruce]
The casino is really taking care of us.

They gave us a great suite
to be able to relax

before the big fight.

But it seems, like,
you know what? [laughs]

Probably including me too,

everybody's on a little bit of edge.

Are you guys nervous?

I just, like, don't care if I win or lose,

I just, like, want it to be over.

Like, I just don't care.

[Kourtney] Is Lamar coming?

This is Lamar right here on TV.

-[Rob] Live.
-[Kourtney] So he's not coming?

[Scott] From Oklahoma.

[knocking]

[door opens]

-Hi, come on in.
-Hi.

This is Kim, this is Carol Ann.

How are you? Nice to meet you.

-Nice to meet you.
-Hi, I'm Valerie, her mom.

[Kim]
Carol Ann has cancer.

We met her through the Dream Foundation.

And her wish is to come and meet me.

Do you want Kim to get her ass kicked?

-Of course not.
-Yeah.

Who are you rooting on?

[all laughing]

[Khlo�] Good answer.

I'm so scared.

I don't know if I should just, like,
fall down right when I get out there

and pretend, like,
I just get knocked out, you know?

[laughs]

Like, would that be embarrassing
if I did that?

I think you'll kick her ass.

-Really?
-Yeah.

All right. I'll fight.

I'll fight for you.

She is a fighter.
She's been fighting for two years now.

And she's not done fighting.

Never stop.

Carol Ann has a really rare form
of cancer.

She's in a wheelchair 'cause
she can only walk a few minutes at a time

without getting really exhausted.

So I know it was a really big deal for her
to come out here,

and I definitely want
to give her a good show.

[man] Thank you so much.

-Thank you for taking the time out.
-Thank you.

-We'll have her sit with us.
-So nice to meet you.

-Bye, thank you so much!
-Bye!

-Thank you.
-[Bruce] Nice meeting you!

[Valerie] Nice meeting you all!

[Kim] All right, guys, we ready?

[Rob] Yeah, we gotta go!

[cheering]

[indistinct chatter]

-I'll go right here.
-Perfect. Yeah.

Just look for the opening.

I think you need to come up with, like,
a poem, like Muhammad Ali.

Like a little jingle,

"Flirt like a butterfly,
sting like a bee!"

And just start saying
silly things to them.

"Flirt like a butterfly,
sting like a bee!"

It's "Fly like a butterfly."

She said "flirt."

Shaking in your boots.

[Kim] That's not going to be
my theme song, sorry.

Sting like a bee!

I'll just pretend they're you,
and then I'll beat them to death.

Thank you.

Rob, my other son Burt.

[speaking indistinctly]

Nice to meet you, man.

Good deal, nice to meet you.

They call me "Rob the Bank."

You have to wear one of those things,

so nobody... hurts the goods?

I'm protecting them,
I'm protecting the goods, hon.

Okay.

192, Rob Kardashian.

Next up, James Taylor.

[Rob] 192, 192!

192? You fat guy!

-214.
-[man] 214. Okay, next up.

[Kourtney] I thought
it was within five pounds?

That's not five pounds.

That guy is 20 pounds more than you.

[Rob] The guy who I'm fighting
weighs 20 pounds heavier than me,

but I'm just thinking it's for charity,

and it's not even that serious.

Can you do...
You just gotta go right for the knockout.

[dramatic music playing]

[Bruce]
Maybe Kris is right.

Maybe I am stupid to go into a ring.

You know, with somebody
I don't even know who he is.

[hip-hop beat playing]

[crowd cheering]

And now, ladies and gentlemen,
let's welcome to the ring,

fighting tonight out of the red corner,

Bruce Jenner!

[crowd cheering]

[hip-hop music playing]

[Referee] All right, gentlemen, remember,
this is an exhibition for charity.

Good luck to both of you. God bless.
Touch them up.

[Kris] I am so scared

for Bruce right now.

I can't even breathe.

He could really get hurt.

[bell rings]

All right, gentlemen,

remember this is
an exhibition for charity.

Good luck to both of you.
God bless you. Touch them up.

I am so scared for Bruce right now.

I just want Bruce to be known
as an Olympic champion.

Not as this 60-year-old guy

who just got beaten in a fight

by some guy off the street
with a lot of money in his pocket.

[bell rings]

[crowd cheering]

[crowd exclaims]

[hip-hop music playing]

[Bruce]
I'm feeling good, I got this guy.

He's not that tough,

but I gotta watch out,
he's got a good left hand.

[hip-hop music continues playing]

[bell dings]

[Kris]
Bruce can actually beat this guy!

He's doing a great job

and he looks kind of sexy doing it.

[crowd cheering]

[Bruce] Round two is coming up right now,
time to have a little fun,

take care of this guy.

But I have to remember, it's for charity.
Nobody gets hurt.

[bell dings]

[crowd cheering]

[Referee] Down!

[crowd cheering]

[Referee] Hey, go over there.

Three... Five, six...

seven, eight.

Are you okay?

[Bruce] Boom!
Came in with the lap, put the guy down.

I've never done anything like this before!

The guy's down,
I feel good about this whole thing.

I hope he's okay, but I think he is.

No!

Fight's over!

[crowd cheering]

Ladies and gentlemen,
after two completed rounds of boxing,

your winner by way of knockout,

Bruce Jenner!

[Bruce] All right!
I feel good about myself now, you know?

Hey, got through this thing,
put the guy down.

You know, I'm feeling 25 years old again

and pretty darn strong!

Thank you all for coming out
and supporting the charity.

[crowd cheering]

-At least this one in the family won!
-[whooping]

I hit 60 this week,

I could be the oldest registered fighter
in the state of California.

Undefeated!

-And undefeated!
-[man] Here you go!

-You like it?
-And undefeated!

May I have the attention,
Team Kardashian!

-Catch them up.
-Cool.

Let's ready him to walk.

Time to shine!

[announcer] And now,
ladies and gentlemen,

let's welcome to the ring,

fighting tonight out of the red corner,

Rob Kardashian!

[crowd cheering]

[rock music playing]

[Referee] Gentlemen, I want a good,
clean, hard fight.

Obey my commands at all time.

Touch them up.

[Rob]
When I first see my opponent,

I cannot believe how much stockier
and bigger the guy is than me.

-[crowd cheering]
-[bell dings]

[ominous music playing]

[Rob] Yo, I do not know
what's up with this dude.

This is supposed to be for charity
and the guy is, like, coming at me,

with full force, like,
trying to just rip my head off.

No jabs, no nothing.

[crowd cheering]

His face mask is off!

[Kim] It's like, what the hell?

I don't know what's going on.
Why aren't they stopping this?

It's over!

[crowd exclaiming]

His face mask is off!

[crowd exclaiming]

[crowd exclaims]

Out of here!

What the [bleep] happened?

-[Kourtney] I don't care!
-[Kris] You gotta get [bleep].

[bleep] I want to go home!

[Kris] This is really crazy because
now, he's hitting him when he's down.

Robert doesn't even have
his face mask on.

This is not what we signed up for!

Rob, you gotta come up.

He's ready to go,
you have to go one more round.

You know, if a real fight
is what this dude wants,

then that's what I'm gonna give him.

I'm not gonna let you fight there
with your [bleep]

-face mask coming off.
-No!

He'll do it! He'll do it!

Ladies and gentlemen,
the referee in charge

advised to stop the contest.

All right, now, listen.

[Robert] That's done. Fight's over.

[Rob] I cannot believe these officials
are actually stopping the fight

because this dude knocked me down
with my head gear off.

You know,
I want to get back in there and fight.

[announcer] It looked like he had
a real issue with his head gear.

The real issue is I knocked
his [bleep] head off, that's what.

-[crowd cheering]
-[inaudible]

Have that bald boy come up in the ring
and let's finish it.

I got a lot left in me, pal.
You got lucky, fat boy!

-[crowd chattering]
-[inaudible]

[Robert] It wasn't...

Head gear wasn't secure, man.

[man] Chin up.

He's fine.

It didn't even faze me.

It's not that, it's the [bleep] rules.

You were on the ground.

You were underneath the rope,

-he kept hitting you.
-[man] Yeah, that was a DQ right there.

But also, your mask was off

and then your mask was off
for seven [bleep] seconds the second time.

[Kris] You should have seen
the look in that guy's face.

I mean, like...

nobody stopped the fight
when that thing came off three times.

Nobody said anything!

This is a kid!
He's not a professional fighter!

[Kim] We're just doing this for charity,
for fun.

I mean, this was to raise money!

It wasn't to get you
the [bleep] kicked out of us.

I mean, you know.

[Kris]
I am stopping this right now,

because obviously,

the people who came to fight us
want to hurt us.

And this is bull [bleep].

I'd rather write the check to charity!

-Kris.
-Sorry!

Sorry!

She's gonna get out there
and have the same treatment?

-Nobody's gonna stop it?
-[Bruce] What are you doing?

-They're not gonna fight the same guy.
-Really?

[crowd exclaims]

-Nice to meet you.
-Nice to meet you.

Are you guys gonna watch the fight?

-Yeah.
-Who are you rooting on?

[all laugh]

I'll fight, I'll fight for you.

So I know that my brother
has had some really hard hits.

But Carol Ann is sitting in the audience,
fighting for her life.

I just can't stop thinking about

how I don't want to let her down.

Mom, can I talk to you for a sec?

I'm scared for my life,
I don't want to do it.

-Well, you shouldn't do...
-But I want to do it for her.

I mean, if that girl comes at you
with that look

like that guy did out there.

Yeah, I don't really want to,
I'm scared for my life.

You fall to the floor
and just say it's over.

I don't know what to do,
I feel really guilty.

I don't want to be, like, a quitter.

All right, I certainly don't want
to ruin something for her.

[Kim] I know Carol Ann is out there
waiting to watch me fight

and I don't want to be a coward

in front of someone
that's fighting for their life.

[indistinct chatter]

But you still look good
inside our camera,

you still look good.

Kim's the one stepping up.

I mean, she knows this is for charity,
she doesn't want to cancel it.

We're raising a lot of money here tonight.

Good stuff! I'm proud of you, Kim!

And now, ladies and gentlemen,
let's welcome to the ring,

fighting tonight out of the red corner,

Kim Kardashian!

[crowd cheering]

[electronic music playing]

[Kris] I understand Kim feels
like she needs to do this for Carol Ann,

but this is the last fight.

Not one more family member
is gonna go in that ring.

Okay, ladies, you received
the instructions in the dressing room,

you know what I expect from you,
a good, clean fight.

Touch gloves, good luck to both of you.

Come on, Kimmy!

[crowd cheering]

[bell dings]

[Kris] Move around, Kim, move around!

Move around, Kim!

Move!

[Bruce] Come on, Kimmy!

Come on, Kimmy!

[crowd cheering]

[crowd exclaims]

[Kris] Oh, no, not again.

I cannot watch one more of my kids

get slaughtered out there.

[crowd exclaiming]

[crowd exclaiming]

[Referee] Take it easy, take it easy.

[Kim] Oh, my God,
I've never been hit so hard.

I've never been in pain like this before.

I mean, I want to take a dive,
but I'm not going to.

[crowd cheering]

[Referee] You're okay, you're okay.

[crowd exclaims]

Exhibition, exhibition!

Exhibition, let's go!

Okay, let's go, exhibition.

[laughs]

[Kim] This girl is pounding on me

and I'm starting to get angry.

[Kris] Sting like a bee!

[bell dings]

[crowd cheering]

Take a little bit off the punches.

A little off the punches.

[rock music playing]

[Khlo�] I'm kind of disappointed
I didn't get to fight

but I'm really impressed,

Kim looks aggressive out there,
she's defending herself.

[Bruce] Good job, Kimmy!

[rock music playing]

[bell dings]

Ladies and gentlemen,
we go to the judges' scorecards

and all three judges are in agreement,

scoring at exactly the same,

20 to 18,

all to your winner by
unanimous decision...

Tamara Frapasella!

[crowd cheering]

[Kim] Even though I didn't win,
I'm still so proud of myself

for just going in there
and holding my own.

I just hope that I made Carol Ann
proud of me.

She really inspires me.

I swear my rib is bruised.

Oh, my God, Kim.

I'm so proud of you.

-My little girl.
-Are you okay?

-Yeah, it really hurts to breathe in.
-Yeah?

-I'm proud of you.
-Ow!

It hurts to breathe?

-It hurts to breathe?
-I saw one shot in there.

-Twice in the same spot.
-Twice?

And you got
a little swelling right there.

I guess...

[Kris] I don't know if I could watch that
for one more second.

Thank God!

Because now, we can all go home.

-At least I did it.
-She went through it.

-At least you did it.
-All for charity.

-All for charity.
-I feel like a new woman!

-I love that!
-Let's go kick some ass!

I love that!

-You just kicked some ass!
-All right.

-Don't... Wait, wait, wait.
-Oh, my God!

-You're gonna hurt your hand!
-Time out!

["Rise" playing]

* You should believe in me *

* And everything I choose to do... *

[Scott] We should've done
a charity golf tournament.

[Bruce] I'm all for charity golf, yeah.

-Right?
-I know, yeah.

[Bruce] No, I'm all for that.
But that's tough to organize.

I mean, here, we just have the kids...

-Aww!
-Rob-O!

Little baby, look at him.

How's little Robbie doing?

I'm good.

You're doing good?

Yeah, I'm just real sore.

How's your neck?

[Rob] Yeah, my neck's... I can't even...

I mean, it's just real sore.

[Bruce] Rob is resting comfortably.

[laughs]

Maybe boxing wasn't the right thing to do

for this charity,
but it was interesting.

It was a lot of fun for some of us but...

[chuckles]
I don't think it's gonna happen again.

All right. It was great.

-Rest up your wounds, Rob!
-[Rob] I hope not.

I'll be fine.

[upbeat music playing]

-[Kim] Where should we sit?
-[Kris] This is nice!

Look, and it says "Happy Birthday!"

[Kris] It's Bruce's 60th birthday

and I know he's really excited

that all the kids showed up to celebrate.

Especially his sons Burt and Brandon.

[Kim] My first memory of Bruce,

was it was my 11th birthday party
and it was at Tower Lane.

I thought it was so cool

that, like, you four,
you, Casey, Brody...

everyone was coming and I was like,

"We have four new... like,

brothers and sisters
and they're all coming!"

And that's why it was so much fun,

'cause we had such a good time

that it was the best way
to kick off all meeting,

and then, we were like,
"They're so cool!"

And you guys were like,
"You're so cool!"

And then we all, like...

[Kourtney] What if you guys
were all really lame.

[laughing]

Well, you guys really did a great job

at crossing us, you know?

Having our family and your family

and the kids and I think that...

a legacy that you guys have left

is that we will remain family.

And I... And I...

I'm very appreciative

and thankful for that.

[Burt] Oh, I think
that deserves another cheers.

To family!

-All right, cheers!
-[all] Cheers!

I'm so proud of my own family

that we have,

through everything,
managed to stay so close.

You know, we all have really crazy lives
and busy schedules

and it just feels so good

that we all give back to charity.

[all] Cheers!

[Khlo�] Next on
Keeping Up with the Kardashians...

I just wanted to spend time
with my sisters on this trip.

We can't do vacations like this anymore.

-Our lives are different.
-So it [bleep] sucks!

You're having a baby, she's married.

[Kourtney] We shouldn't have come
in the first place.

I have never seen Kylie
this jealous before.

You guys always favor Kendall
and it's so annoying!

[Bruce] Your day will come!