All language subtitles for Keeping.Up.with.the.Kardashians.S04E01.WEBRip.Netflix.en[cc]

[Kim] My family and I
have been through a lot

these last couple of years.

[screaming]

-[Kris] There's a spider on you.
-[screaming] Oh, my God!

I'm feeling really dirty tonight.

-[laughing]
-[chimpanzee screeching]

[Kim] We've had our highs and lows...

[tearfully] Guess what's come back
to haunt us.

Dad would never let any of this happen.

[Kris] I just want you guys to be
proud of me. I really do.

I just don't think that's appropriate.

I just don't want him to get upset
one more time.

Why do you guys lie to me like this
all the time?

[Kim] Relationships have come and gone...

[crowd chanting] Reggie! Reggie!

I haven't had a boyfriend in so long,

and it's, like, I don't trust anybody.

I'm just so confused
on why we're even together.

Kourtney and Scott, stop making out!

Hello? Kourtney! What are you doing?

[Rob] This is my first time
I've been in love.

I love you.

Ugh, I can't even take you right now.

Maybe I'll just go back to New York.

[Kim] But through it all,
we always stand by each other.

I love you.

-Hug the new you.
-Yeah, the new me.

[Kim] And now, my older sister's pregnant

and she's living
with her boyfriend, Scott.

[Scott] That's our baby.

Mm-hmm.

[Kim] Reggie and I have decided
to spend some time apart.

I hate being single!

And my mom and Bruce
have moved into an amazing house

with my brother Rob.

-It might not even fit, Bruce.
-[Bruce] Oh, it's gonna fit.

[Kim] But everything is about
to get a whole lot crazier.

[Khlo�] Mom!

-I'm getting married!
-What?

In nine days.

[Kim] Tonight on
Keeping Up with the Kardashians,

"The Wedding."

-Would you marry me?
-[Malika gasps]

-Oh, my God.
-[screaming]

[both] You're getting married!

-Like, what does he do?
-He plays for the Lakers.

-Wow.
-[Vera] It's gorgeous.

I met Lamar
and we're getting married a month later.

Seriously?

I gotta listen to the news
to find out that you're engaged?

That is really mean!

You don't know when you're wrong.

-Scream about it.
-[Bruce] I'm done.

I'm not wrong!

[Bruce] Screw you, Khlo�.

You won't be walking anybody
down the [bleep] aisle.

"I, Khlo�, take you, Lamar..."

I, Khlo�, take you, Lamar...

[Brad] "...to be my husband."

Whoo!

I'm a cheerleader!

Yeah!

Why don't you come
try to take it from me?

-[Khlo� laughing]
-[laughs]

Lamar is my boyfriend.
I met him when I was hosting a party.

[Khlo�] This isn't fair!

[Lamar] You gotta try hard.

It's like when you're trying to make out
with me, how you really try hard.

Ha!

[Khlo�] He plays for the Lakers.

Finally, someone that I could date
that lives in LA.

[clicks tongue] Good job, Khlo�.

[Lamar] I love the way you run, too.

[laughing] I run like a loser.

[laughing] Hell, no.
I love the way you run.

Really flick your wrist,
like we're hanging out.

You wanna shoot it like, "Hey, doll."

-You wanna "honey" the basketball.
-[laughing]

Say it to yourself.

Honey.

Honey. There you go, you said it
and it went in. See that?

-[Khlo� laughing]
-There you go.

Look who's learning
how to play basketball.

[Khlo�] I've never had someone tell me
so many times a day how pretty I am,

and talked to me like that
and just make me feel

like I am everything that he says I am.

Do you know why
I love this game so much, Khlo�?

-Why?
-When my mother passed away...

[Khlo�] Mm-hmm.

[Lamar] I just went to the park

and I just played, and played,
and played, and...

No joke, I didn't go in the house.
I stayed outside for two days.

And when things really get messed up...

[Khlo�] Mm-hmm.

If I play basketball,
I can just forget about it.

[Khlo�] Lamar's mom passed away
when he was 12 of cancer,

and my father passed away
when I was 19 of cancer.

And that's something we have in common.

I've never had someone
be so honest with me about their life

and about their past.

[Lamar] Where do you see yourself
10, 15, 20 years from now?

Besides one day you being my wife.

How do you know
I'm gonna be your wife one day?

-That's easy.
-[Khlo�] How?

You can tell.
When you know, you know.

[whistling theme music playing]

[Lamar] This will warm you up.

Three cheers to sake.

Cheers to us, not the sake.

[Lamar] I'm here, like,
trying to keep it real with you.

Like, I'm letting my swag down
a little bit.

It's hard for me to do. I'm, like...

being, um...

sentimental.

And I've found a woman
that I'm compatible with.

Well, so, what does this mean?

That I wanna hang out forever.

I wanna get married right now.

-You would marry me?
-I would do it right now.

-We met on the 27th.
-Mm-hmm.

Your birthday's on the 27th.

So we should get married on the 27th.

You wanna get married on my birthday?

This month.

-September 27.
-September 27.

[Khlo�] I just cannot see
the rest of my life without Lamar.

The 27th is perfect.

Our wedding has to be on the 27th.

Your favorite number is seven...

Yes.

And then there's two of us,

so it's two-seven.

There's two of us.

And do you remember
the last flight that I took from New York?

[Khlo�] Uh-huh.

It was United Flight 27.

Now, we can go with these signs
or we can just say,

"Oh, what a coincidence," and like,

wait two, three, four, five more years.

Why do we have to wait?
I don't wanna wait.

[Khlo�] Honestly,
I have never felt this way.

I am head over heels in love,

and Lamar's head over heels
in love with me.

I just know it's right.

Until death do us part.

I promise you, I'll never leave you.

No matter what.

No matter what.

-[door opens]
-[Kourtney] Khlo?

[Kim] Khlo?

[Malika] Khlo�'s not here.

-Where is she?
-Did she know you guys were coming?

-No, but...
-[Kourtney] No, we've been calling her.

Since my parents moved out,

Khlo� has moved
into their old house temporarily.

She normally answers my BBMs,

like, the second I write her.

I feel like I never see her anymore

since we don't live together.

I feel bad that you guys came over
and she's not here.

[Kourtney] We thought we would come by
because we're going to lunch.

We wanted her to come with us.

We haven't talked to her in forever.
I don't even know what's going on.

[Malika] She's in love, you guys.

That's what happens.

[Kim] She just met this guy.

Khlo� just met Lamar.

And, like, we've only met him once.

What's up with them?

-Is that where she is now?
-[Malika] Yeah. That's where she is.

[Kourtney] Where? He lives here?

[Malika] Yes, but they've been staying
at the SLS Hotel.

Honey, they've got this new life
going on together.

I don't know what they're doing.

They're shacked up
in the dungeon at the SLS,

and that's where they stay.

-Khlo� doesn't tell me anything.
-She hasn't told us anything.

[Malika] Maybe she's just not ready
to tell you guys.

[Kourtney] If she's in love
and she's happy, like,

wouldn't you want to share that?

Like, she has not mentioned this, at all.

[kissing]

Okay.

[Khlo�] Mmm. Ooh, I love you, boo.

[Kris] Guys, are you gonna
come up for air?

-Never.
-[Kris] Just saying.

Okay.

I have never seen Khlo�
have this much PDA in front of me

in my life.

She barely introduces me
to a boyfriend.

[chuckling]

[Kris] Maybe she's finally
found the right guy.

[Lamar] There's a reason why...

we wanted to have dinner tonight.

What's going on?

We wanna be a family.

I want to marry your daughter.

Oh! Ho-ho!

We wanna get married.

Oh, my God! Oh, my God.

Whoo!

This one!

[upbeat music playing]

[Khlo�] Mom?

Mom?

-Kitchen.
-[Khlo�, with silly accent] Preggos!

Oh, hello! Oh!

Telling my mom about the engagement
was seriously the hardest part.

[Kris] All right, you guys, come on.
Grow up.

Telling my sisters,
this part's gonna be so fun.

I can't wait to see my sisters' faces
when I tell them.

You guys, I have something to say.

I'm getting married!

[music stops]

-What?
-In nine days.

-Wait, but...
-[Khlo�] I'm being serious.

-I'm engaged.
-To Lamar?

Who else would I be engaged to?

At first, we think she's joking.

Where's your ring?

Well, we have to go pick it out.
We haven't picked it out yet.

No, you're not.

Mom went to dinner with him
and he asked Mom for my hand in marriage.

[Kourtney] Why didn't you tell us?

[stammering] I... It was a minute ago!

I mean, come on, nine days?

Yeah, nine days.

[Kris] I just found out
that Lamar wanted to propose to Khlo�.

And now, she's telling me
that she wants a wedding in nine days?

I don't even know how
to wrap my head around this.

-What's the rush?
-Why nine days?

People usually get engaged
for, like, a year.

I know Khlo�'s only known Lamar
for two and a half weeks,

but I really haven't talked to her much
since then.

So to hear that she's getting married
is just crazy.

I am a thousand percent,
head over heels in love with someone.

And I can't help how I feel.

I can't help that I know,
with every being of my body,

this is the person I wanna be with
for the rest of my life.

So when are you gonna tell Bruce?

I wanna tell Bruce when I have my ring.

So I'd rather no one
really speak on it right now.

[Khlo�] Bruce has never really been a fan
of any of the men that I've dated,

and I know he won't take
any of this whole wedding stuff seriously

unless Lamar proves himself,

so I'm not gonna tell him anything
until I have a ring.

Our father figure,
who's gonna be so judgmental anyway.

You guys are like, "This is BS."

-[Kris] We're not saying this is BS...
-I don't think it's BS, I just don't...

-We just think it's a little fast.
-...I'm just thinking about

what has to be done in nine, ten days.

-[Khlo�] I know it's fast. But again...
-[Kris] We have invitations...

I just wish I knew the guy.

-Like, I don't know Lamar.
-[Khlo�] You've met him once.

-"Met him once"?
-Yeah, I've met him one time.

I mean, we don't know him.

You guys... You guys...

[Kris] We're talking invitations
and flowers and cake...

Okay, you guys are not being supportive.

Whenever you and Reggie
go through something, I'm there for you.

I don't ask you questions.

You, I'm there holding you,
helping you throw up,

cleaning your [bleep] face.

Be there!

My mom and my sisters are just
so negative about this whole thing.

They're just really hurting my feelings
and ruining

my excitement about my engagement.

[Kim] It's just a little bit shocking
when you come in and say,

you're getting married in nine days.

You guys, you're making this
not fun anymore.

[Kris] Khlo�, we're excited for you!

-It's just hurtful.
-[Kris] We are excited for you.

-It's just a shock.
-We just have nine days

to complete the impossible!

[Khlo�] It's just a little bit shocking.

[Bruce] You're wasting your time.

Start working out.

I want to see some sweat
if you're gonna be doing this.

Can you believe
that Kris bought a new house?

We have a lot of room

but I find out with the extra floor space,

Rob moves back in.

I'm trying to get into shape.

Trying to thin out the skin?

Cut up a little bit?

[Rob] I'm trying to be like Lamar.

Yeah.

Well, speaking of Lamar,
what do you think of him?

I don't even know the guy.

Ah, he's honestly, he's an amazing guy.

I'm sure you would think,
you know, basketball player...

-They don't have a good track record.
-[Rob] I mean, athletes, whatever,

but he's got his own clothing line,

minus the fact that he just
won the championship...

Who cares!

That's the least I care about.

I care about one thing.

How he's gonna treat Khlo�.

That's all!

Khlo� and I have always
had a very close relationship.

We've really been together
since she was, like, five years old.

As she's grown up, I just,
I've always questioned her judgment

when it comes to men.

Now, Lamar... Very questionable.

He's got to kinda prove himself to me.

I mean, look at all these girls.

How many losers have they been with?

Khlo�, before this...

Losers!

-[Rob] Losers?
-I mean,

I don't have a lot of confidence
in their choice of men.

[Rob] I completely agree with you,

but this guy's different.

You're just not saying this
'cause you want Laker tickets.

[Kourtney] Kim and I talked this morning

and I'm like, "Okay, I didn't even know
this was going on."

That just makes me not even want
to involve anyone in it, though.

I was expecting from my sisters...

more of a positive reaction

when I'm telling them
I'm gonna get married.

Honestly, I could go to a courthouse

and sign papers and be done.
I don't need a wedding.

Like, it's almost,
like, it's so stressful.

-Like, it's like...
-[Malika] It's not, though!

-This isn't supposed to be.
-Don't look at it that way.

It's not.

She wants to make it a priority

to be in your life and be there for you

if this is the decision
that you're making.

-No one's trying to change that...
-And I appreciate that.

How old are his kids?

[Khlo�] 11 and 8.

[Kourtney] I definitely want
to be supportive of Khlo�

but it is my obligation as Khlo�'s sister

to be the voice of reason
because it is something serious.

Is there a need to be a rush?

I'm just... like, I just want to know.

[Khlo�] Well, he starts his games

and then, we won't be able to do it
until next summer.

[Kourtney] Khlo� getting married
definitely makes me think about

my future with Scott and marriage, and...

we are holding off
until after the baby comes

and we see
what our relationship evolves to

and how we feel at the time.

So you don't want a year to plan?

[Khlo�] No, I don't need a year to plan.

[Kourtney] I have to be
a pregnant bridesmaid?

[Malika] You'll be gorgeous.

We'll put extra material on the front.

[Kourtney] As long as I've known Khlo�
and her history with men,

if she's telling me that

she's 100% positive
this is what she wants to do,

then I'm gonna support her.

And of course,
it means I get to give Khlo�

a crazy bachelorette party.

[Malika] Khlo�, you're gonna
keep your sister informed

on what's going on with you.

I already said I would.

I want you to say it 12 times now.

[Khlo�] These are the times that I wish

I could just pick you up and throw you.

[chuckling]

[Rob] Where's Khlo�?

[Kris] She didn't tell you
she was gonna go look at wedding dresses?

Lamar said November.

[Kris] No, they're getting married
in four days.

September 27th.

[Kris] For real.

[Rob] I think it's beautiful
for Khlo� and Lamar,

and if they're both happy
and both in love,

then I would do the same thing.

But Bruce will definitely be

very, very angry.

-Oh, my God.
-Is this a joke?

It's like, they haven't had a chance
to have their first argument.

They haven't had a chance to, like...

Okay, don't be a hater.

We're not being haters, but...

-[Kris] Being realistic. I get it.
-She didn't tell us anything about this.

I think she's in a panic mode.

They're trying to get a lot done

-in a really short amount of time.
-[Kim] But why are they trying

to get married so soon?

-Because of probably NBA season.
-[Kris] They're trying to do it because

of NBA season.

So, Reggie and I were together for years

and, you know, we were
on the fast-track to get married.

Khlo�'s only met Lamar,
known him for two weeks.

[Kim] I just really think
I'm gonna need a Xanax during the wedding.

[Allison] I think it'll be fun.

I'll be there, just hold your horses.

I mean, I'm gonna be sitting there
crying like a zombie.

Like, "This was supposed to be me.
This was supposed to be me!"

-[scoffs]
-[Allison laughs]

Like, I think, you know, like,
what if I have a nervous breakdown,

when they're like, "Does anyone object?"

And like, what if I'm like,

"This was supposed to be me!"

Like in a dream.

Well, since I already planned my wedding

and I know what I want my cake
to look like,

and I know what I want
my flowers to look like,

and I have it all planned out and cut out,

I can give it to Khlo�.

Maybe it'll be useful for someone.

I just, like, don't know.

Like, three weeks after meeting someone,

I really don't know
if this is such a good idea.

[Rob] Okay, Kim, we get it.

That's how you feel,
but it's gonna happen next week

and that's it,

-and it has nothing to do with you.
-[Kim] I mean, I know...

But I don't want it to be, like,
the whole time, like...

[imitating Khlo�]
"Kim's jealous of the wedding,"

'cause I'm really not.

He's so tall, I couldn't even... deal.

[Rob] What does he have to do
with anything?

[Kim] I'm saying, I'm not jealous.

I understand that Kim and Reggie broke up

and, you know,
I am dealing with my situation

with my ex-girlfriend, Adrienne,

and you don't see me bashing on
Khlo� and Lamar's wedding, at all.

That's really rude
to say that about Khlo�.

-She's marrying this guy and you're...
-[Kim] I said, he's tall...

Yeah, you said you wouldn't want
to be married to that guy anyway

'cause he's tall? Who gives a [bleep]?

You're an [bleep].

-[Rob] Yeah.
-[Kris] You take things too far.

-[Kim] This is what I'm saying...
-Well, it's the truth!

It's reality! Deal with it!

[Kris] Why do you have to be so mean?

-[Kim] He's just immature and [bleep].
-What did I have to say [bleep] besides...

-Yeah, actually, you did!
-[Rob] Okay.

You were being rude!
-[Rob] Scream about it!

-Scream about it. Yeah!
-[Kim] You're so immature

that you don't know when you're wrong.

-Right. Okay.
-You don't know when you're wrong

and it's probably why
you and Adrienne have a big problem

because you don't know
when you're wrong

and you don't know when to apologize.

-[Rob] Scream about it! Scream about it!
-You were being rude!

-Scream about it.
-He's so... He's just dumb!

You guys, I don't know
where all this anger is coming from.

-[Rob] It's this psycho bitch.
-We... No, no, she's not a psycho bitch.

-[Kim] No, he was rude to me!
-That is rude!

And you are rude
to Khlo�'s future husband.

[Kris] Listen!

Everybody's gotta get a grip!

This is mean-spirited stuff
that we can't get into.

Let me just point out...

that I think that a year ago,
you thought things for you

were gonna go a lot differently

and you would be
in a different place today

and that didn't work out.

[Rob] Six months ago,
my ex-girlfriend, Adrienne,

moved back east to New York

and I just truly miss her

and regret everything
that I did to hurt her

and I just... I really want her back.

And I think Kim,

there's a side of Kim
that feels the same way.

I just want to know.

I don't like my life being like,

"What's going on?
Are we together? Aren't we together?

What's..." You know?

Khlo� getting married has really
made me think about my own love life,

and, you know, I'm still sad

but I don't really...

it's not really my personality
to get really mad and yell

and I just don't want a fight
with my brother, Rob.

[Kris] And suddenly, you find yourselves

single...

and...

confused a little bit.

You know?

And you guys have to come to grips

with what's going on,
and be really living the moment

of Kourtney and her baby

and Khlo� and her marriage.

[Rob] I agree.

And I apologize for yelling at you.

[door opens, closes]

[Scott] Hey, guys!

-Hey, Rob!
-[Rob] Hey.

-[Kris] What are you doing?
-What's going on?

[Kris] We're just having a little...

fabulous family chitty-chat.

Faboo. What's the topic of discussion?

Um...

Khlo�'s getting married.

To who?

[Kris] To Lamar.

Well, who would've thought Khlo� would've
been the first one to get married?

They're in love.
They're on the fast track.

I'm in love!

I'm not getting married after two weeks.

Thank you, God.

What does that mean?

Are we really gonna be able
to pull this wedding off?

This is my thing.

Give me a chance.

I've waited my whole life
to give a wedding.

At first, I was petrified at the thought
of throwing a wedding in nine days.

But I've waited 25 years
to throw this wedding

and I'm gonna make sure it's perfect.

I just want to know,
who's gonna walk you down the aisle?

I don't know. Like, Rob.

He's a Kardashian, he's my brother,

he looks like my dad,
like, he's just like...

Khlo�, it would kill Bruce

if he didn't walk you down the aisle.

We're planning a wedding

and he doesn't even know about it.

-I mean, that's nuts.
-[Khlo�] Okay, well, guess what?

As soon as I get my ring,
I will tell Bruce,

so in the meantime, keep your mouth shut

and don't tell him.

Khlo� keeps telling me that she wants
to wait till she gets the ring

to tell Bruce
that she's gonna get married,

but we all know that Khlo�
is scared to death to tell Bruce

because any father would have a problem

with their daughter getting married
in nine days.

But she's gotta tell him.

Khlo�, I'm gonna do the best I can
to keep my mouth shut, but I promise you,

that if Bruce finds out,
this is gonna blow up in our face.

[tearfully] And I just...

I don't want him to feel left out.

-[Khlo�] And I don't want him to either.
-That wouldn't be nice either.

You know, it'd really hurt his feelings
and I think he just, like...

One guy can only take so much.

[Khlo�] Rob is my blood

and Rob, when I look at him,
he reminds me of my dad and is my brother

and I want Rob
to be part of my wedding as well,

and so, you know, I would love
if Rob would walk me down the aisle.

[Khlo�] Rob!

[Rob] Yeah!

Where are you?

[Rob] I'm in my room.

[in silly voice] I found you!
You were hiding from me!

Hola. What's up?

Why does your room smell like this?

It's incense that your homeboy Lamar
got me, buddy.

-Homeboy.
-[Rob] Homie.

[Khlo�] Speaking of Lamar...

Yes?

[Khlo�] Well, I wanted to know, um...

if you would want
to walk me down the aisle.

[Rob] I would love to do that for you,
especially if that's what you want,

but I do think that, you know,

first of all, you should tell Bruce
what's going on,

and I think that, you know,
he should be the one.

He's been in your life
since you were five, you know.

I'm definitely gonna tell him
about our engagement and our wedding,

just not right now.

I wanna wait till I have my ring
and all that to tell him. But...

No, honestly, though,
out of respect, you know,

you really should have Bruce
walk you down the aisle.

You're getting distracted when I do that?

Yeah, I don't know why
you keep touching your boobs.

And you have a bruise on your boob.

No, that's a bite mark.

-Rob. You are walking me...
-Ay!

-...down the [bleep] aisle.
-Oh, yeah!

Okay?

-[Rob laughing]
-[Khlo�] No ifs, ands or buts, baby.

Today, I'm so excited
'cause I'm in New York City with Malika

and I'm on my way to go try on dresses
at Vera Wang's.

I'm so thrilled.

So, we're gonna go to, um, Vera's.

Vera Wang has been
a friend of the family for years.

By the grace of Vera's heart,
she agreed to design my dress, basically.

-Hi, Mom.
-[Kris on phone] Hi.

Can you ask Vera if she can do dresses
for me and your sisters?

Okay, just need to get colors.

[Kris] What are your colors?

[Khlo�] Well, my dress is white,

and my favorite color's purple
so purple will be incorporated,

I just don't know what shade yet.

-Lavender-ish...
-Like, lavender-ish or, like...

Oh, my God, that beautiful color
of a hydrangea.

Like, purple-y...

Khlo�, that's a little bright.
I mean, I'm...

This isn't about you.

Okay, but can you just
get me a purple dress

rather than a lavender dress?

This is the problem with Kris.
You give her an inch, she takes a mile.

This is my wedding,
so it's gonna be done my way.

I have to go. I'm here, I have to go, bye.

Wait! Khlo�!

[phone line beeping]

-Hi!
-[Vera] Hi, baby.

-How are you?
-You're looking hot.

-[Khlo�] Hi!
-[Vera] You look great.

-[Malika] Hi. Malika.
-Hi.

-Malika, how nice to meet you.
-Nice to meet you.

Your mom... Your mom
sent kisses to me this morning.

-[Khlo�] Oh, my God.
-So I was very, very happy.

-I... [laughing]
-[Vera] Anyway.

Vera Wang has set aside this dress
just for me.

She thought it'd be perfect
for my wedding day.

I would take the jewel off
and put some draping here.

-Mm-hmm.
-And change the sash to the...

You know, if you wanna do
more of a purple.

[Khlo�] That's gorgeous.

[all squealing]

[Khadijah] Oh, she's crying.

[Malika] You're not crying, dude!
You never cry.

You guys, this is gonna be
a big cry-fest.

I'll bring Kleenex for you.

This is the moment of truth.

I have never looked
for wedding dresses before,

so I cannot wait to see
what it looks like on.

[Vera] Wow. It's gorgeous.

[Khlo�] I love how it fits, too.

[Vera] Yes. And you know what I love,
you have the height.

Kind of faboo just like that, man.
It's kind of scary.

[laughing]

[Malika] Khlo�, are we dying for this one?

[Khlo�] Yeah. I love it.

[Malika] She has a dress!

[Khlo�] This whole thing
is like a dream come true.

I never really thought
I was the marrying type,

and so I never really knew
the significance

of what a wedding dress means.

But finally having one on,

I feel like this is amazing.
This is what a wedding's about.

You have to find the perfect dress,
and I really feel like I found that.

-I love it.
-[Vera] I love it.

How long have you known each other?

[Khlo�] You're gonna think it's crazy.
I met him

and we're getting married a month later.

Seriously?

Get me a helmet and a seatbelt.

[laughing]

-[Malika] Hi, Kenny!
-Hi!

Hi, Bruce.

We're having a meeting.

I go over to my mom's house
to meet with Malika

about planning the bachelorette party

and it's so awkward

because Bruce still doesn't know
what's going on.

[Kourtney] Okay, well,
if you want to sit in this meeting,

-you just need to be quiet and peaceful.
-Yeah, Kylie.

We definitely don't want to go to a club.

[Malika] Now, what's this company
that can do, like,

-everything for us?
-[Kourtney] Pleasure Chest.

Okay, let's call.

-[line ringing]
-[Malika] Have you ever been there?

[Kourtney] I haven't.

[woman on phone] Thank you
for calling Pleasure Chest.

Hi, um,

we are trying to plan a bachelorette...

slash wedding shower.

I just wanted to see, like, what you

had in mind for, like,
a bachelorette party.

[woman] It varies.
There's so many different things.

We have sex toy demos.

We can do party games.

Um, we can do

fellatio workshops
with bananas and cucumbers.

We could do, like, little gift bags

-that have lotion and toys in them.
-[giggling]

We could offer, um...

I guess, uh, stripping classes

where we have a stripper go

and she brings her own pole.

[Kourtney] Ooh, I feel like
we should do all of it.

Yeah! We'll see in you in there.

Okay, thank you. Bye.

[doorbell chiming]

[Kris] Hey!

-Unbelievable!
-I know, right?

Hi, doll!

[Kris] Sharon is the ultimate
wedding planner

and I'm gonna make sure

that my daughter

has the most beautiful, glamorous,

delicious wedding
in the whole entire world.

We'll start working on budgets.

-[Kris] Okay.
-We'll get a caterer,

the florists ready...

[Kris] Okay.

[Sharon] And then we'll plan on
when we need to do the rehearsal.

Um, we don't know about food.

Do you want steak,

do you want fish, do you want...

chicken, I mean, do you want lobster...

[Kris] Rob!

-[Rob] What?
-Come here, quick!

Okay, give me an answer, beef or fish?

Beef or fish?

Just tell me. Beef or fish, pick one.

Beef.

[Kris] Let's have steak. It's a sign.

[Sharon] There you go.

Okay, so do steak...

[Rob] But Khlo� doesn't eat steak.

Well, I do.

-Okay? Let's do that.
-Yeah, we'll have that.

-Let's do that.
-No problem.

And then as far as champagne,

I like Cristal,

so maybe we should have Cristal

'cause I like Cristal.

Yeah, it's Cristal.

[Rob] My mom is being extremely selfish.

She says she's planning

"Khlo�'s wedding," but, you know,

she's obviously planning
her dream wedding.

Okay, here comes Bruce.

He doesn't know what's going on.

Oh, my goodness.

Hi, honey.

-This is Bruce.
-Hello.

Meet Sharon. Sharon and Robin.

-Hello, Sharon and Robin.
-Sharon's a friend of mine.

-Nice to see you.
-Nice to see you again.

Hello, Robin.

[Kris] This is now a nightmare.

I want to honor Khlo�'s wishes.

I want to keep this a secret from Bruce
until she tells him.

I hate lying to Bruce.

It's just not right!

-Hello.
-What are you doing?

Uh, just flew my helicopter.

Now, I'm gonna go hit some golf balls.

-Oh, okay, you gonna go get dressed?
-[Bruce] It's a tough day.

-It's a tough one.
-It's a tough life.

I'm sneaking around
planning my daughter's wedding.

It's every mom's dream,

having a wedding for one of my daughters.

My vision for the perfect wedding

is flowers by Mark's Garden.

[Khlo�] Oh, my God.

Flowers galore.

[Mark] All these roses here

are yours.

All of those?

5,000 roses.

-What?
-For your ceremony.

[Khlo� gasps]

[Kris] I have thought about this

my entire life.

So, I choose Gearys

for Khlo� to go register
for her wedding gifts.

Just, like,

my dream come true.

We can get Baccarat crystal
and Buccallatti's Silver. Come on.

[laughing] I'm going home.

She's fine. I don't even have to be here.

Honey. You're gonna pick what you want.
Just come on.

[Khlo�] I'm trying to be really patient
with my mom,

but I'm here for a reason.
Shouldn't I have a say in something?

If something catches your eye...

[Khlo�] I just say it now? Or do we have
to get, like, that scanning gun?

-No. This is not Target, honey.
-Oh, sorry, I don't know.

Okay, the silver plate
we're getting for everyday.

Now, we're on it.
Oh, this is Christofle.

Oh, my.

She wants to do the red Hermes.

Okay, great. So we'll keep looking.
Khlo�, come on.

Honestly, I can't believe this.

This is supposed to be
my wedding registry,

and she's picking out things
that she did with my dad.

Hello, this is like 40 years later.

This is my house, my wedding registry.
Let me pick something.

Let's see. This one will be
$750 a place setting.

-For one place setting, it's...
-[woman] For one place setting.

You're not buying it...

None of my friends
could afford anything at this store.

-Honey, just...
-Wait.

This is $750 for one knife, one spoon,

one spoon, one fork and one fork.
Is that correct?

-But the other set... Yes.
-No, I'm asking. Is that correct?

[Kris] For the set.

I mean, that's just, like, retarded to me.

What do you guys think about these?

-[Malika] They're beautiful.
-In the Baccarat?

I don't know what's happening
in this store.

Do you like the Baccarat?

She's crazy.

[Khlo�] Seriously,
I think my mother is now possessed.

She is turning into Satan,
slowly but surely.

I mean, she's ruining this for me.

Like, this is her wedding all of a sudden,
it's not mine.

I am so ready
to call this entire wedding off.

I just wanna go to Vegas and elope.

[Kris] Khlo�, I think you're almost done

with your dishes and your glasses
and your silver.

That was easy.

-You like it?
-Well, you picked it all.

[Khlo�] Oh! I'm so exhausted.

Shopping with my mom is so tiring.

But being with Lamar is making me realize
why I love doing all this

and why I wanna be married.

[Lamar sneezes and laughs]

-[Khlo�] There.
-[Lamar] Yeah.

[Lamar, muffled] Mmm. I love you.

-[Khlo�] Hmm?
-I love you.

-I love you.
-Mmm.

-I love you more.
-No!

-I love you more!
-More than candy?

More than candy.

[Lamar] Are you ready to be with one man
for the rest of your life?

[Khlo�] Of course!
Are you ready to be with one woman

for the rest of your life?

[Lamar sighing]

-All finished.
-[Lamar] I feel better now.

[Khlo�] Good.

-[Lamar] That's why I love you.
-I love you.

-Fo' sho?
-Mm-hmm.

[kissing]

[water splashing]

[Khlo� laughing]

Hey, Rob.

I need to talk to you about Adrienne.

I have to tell Rob

that I ended up inviting
his ex-girlfriend Adrienne to the wedding.

I mean, she's one
of my really good friends,

but I'm still not sure
how he's gonna react.

It wasn't the cleanest breakup.

I invited her to the wedding.

And I just...
I don't want you to be mad

but she's one of my best friends,

and I'm only telling you,

so you don't feel, like, side-swiped
and taken off guard then.

But...

I mean, you can't...
If you pull me in, I swear to God,

I'll beat the [bleep] out of you,
you have no [bleep] idea.

Do you understand?

[chuckling]

-Okay?
-[Rob] I'm not.

Honestly, I would love to...
You know, love to see Adrienne.

-So you're not mad?
-No.

Now that I, like, realized
I wanna be back with her,

-I would love to see her.
-[sighs]

[Rob] I'm so happy
that Adrienne's coming to the wedding.

And...

You know, I haven't really
had a chance to speak with her

since our breakup,
but this could...

you know, be my opportunity
at getting that second chance.

Should I ask her to come with me
to the wedding?

Or, like, what do I...
As a date? Or...

It's a little overboard.

You guys weren't on the best
talking terms the last time, so.

[Rob] Well, then...
I think it's a great start,

-to like, you know...
-[Khlo�] I agree.

So, we're cool?

No, yeah.

I'm happy.

You're happy, good.

I'm happy Adrienne's coming.

Good. I'm happy you're happy.

I'm happy it's my wedding!

High five!

[Kourtney] Do you guys have a, um,
bachelorette section?

We do. Uh, it's straight down this aisle,

-on the left.
-[Kourtney] Okay. Got it.

Kim and I are throwing Khlo�
her bachelorette/wedding shower,

and we go to the Pleasure Chest,

which is a famous sex store in LA.

-Ooh, Kim.
-[Kim] Can we play spin the bottle?

Penis bouquet.

A penis pinata.

-[Kourtney] We should get that.
-We just have to get 'em.

Should we get, like, two?

[Kourtney] 'Cause we're decorating
the room first.

[Kim] Should we have a ring toss?

[Kourtney] Wait, whose butt
would we stick that to?

-Mom's.
-[laughing]

We could all throw rings at her ass.

I've always thought whenever I see

bachelorette girls running around Vegas
with their penis hats on...

-Look!
-Look!

[Kourtney]
...sipping their penis straws, like,

"Who runs around
with this disgusting penis stuff on?"

And of course, Kim and I
are buying it all for Khlo�.

I think we've pretty much got everything

we would possibly need.

[Bruce] You're an only child.

That means the next generation,

you're gonna have at least
six or seven kids.

What?

At least.

[Scott] I'm gonna have six or seven?

Yeah, you're gonna have... Yeah.

-I want one kid to be just like me.
-[Bruce] All right.

[Scott] Maybe a little better.

What's this?

[man on TV] ...and apparently,

Los Angeles Laker Lamar Odom
is getting married.

People Magazine reports
that after one month of dating,

Odom is engaged to Khlo� Kardashian.

[dramatic music playing]

[Bruce] Can you believe this?

-I think they've been dating two weeks.
-They've been dating a whole month

-and now they're engaged?
-I think it's been two weeks, though.

Not a month.

[Bruce] Hey, Rob.

-Yo.
-[Bruce] Come in here.

So, did you know anything about this?

Is she actually engaged, yes or no?
It's a simple question.

[Scott] Pretty simple.

Yes.

Or no.

What do you mean, yes or no?
Come up with an answer.

-[Scott] It's on the news, Rob.
-Is she engaged or not?

I mean, you would know.

-Yeah. [laughs]
-[Bruce] She is engaged.

It's not funny!
She's gonna marry the guy?

She seems really happy, and...

-I mean...
-[Bruce] She doesn't know the guy.

[Scott] I think it's a bit crazy
that no one filled you in on it.

[Rob] Khlo� thinks that you're gonna react
in a bad way...

Yeah, I think any father would be

a little bit upset
about something like that.

[Scott] I mean,
they shouldn't hide it from you.

It's not like, I have a bad reaction,
I'm this horrible person.

-[Scott] Like, "Oh, no..."
-Anybody would...

-react that way.
-[Scott] Yeah.

[Bruce] I mean, it's ridiculous.

What has my life come to?

I'm watching the news to find out
what my children are doing.

Although I'm not the "genetic" dad,

I've been with Khlo�
since she was five years old.

You would think she would feel...

[sighs] the right thing to do,
and that would be

to call before it got into the media,

and it's also hurtful
because I think my wife knew.

Uh, honey, I was just watching the news.

[Kris on phone] Yeah.

And they had a thing that, uh...

Khlo� and Lamar are engaged.

[Kris] Honey, I can't hear you.

I'm going through the canyon.

Khlo�'s in front of me
so we'll be there in a minute. Bye.

-[phone call disconnects]
-[sighs]

All right. [sniffles]

Hey, Khlo�.

[quietly] Bruce just called me

when I was driving

and he said, "What's going on?"

And I said, "What do you mean,
what's going on?"

And he said, "I was just listening
to the 5:00 news,

and it says that Lamar and Khlo�
got engaged."

I'm gonna go find Bruce,

and I just want you to know
that he already knows.

[Kris] The last thing that I wanna do

is to have Bruce get his feelings hurt.

That's been my fear all along.

The fact that he would find out about this

and it wasn't one of us telling him.

I'll be the mediator
since no one's gonna say anything.

Bruce just saw the 5:00 news,

and it said that you and Lamar
just got engaged.

[Khlo�] Okay, and is that a bad thing?

-I didn't tell a lot of people.
-I gotta listen to the news

to find out that you're engaged?

You've known this guy for what, a month?

So? You married my mom
after five months.

Five and a half months.
A whole different situation.

Totally.

-When you've been married twice before...
-[Bruce] Don't give me this, Khlo�.

Like, "Oh, you're right."

[Khlo�] You are so much better than me.
I forgot.

Tell me this. That I've gotta listen...

That I've gotta find out
that you got engaged

to some guy that you've known for a month

-on the news?
-Mm-hmm.

Tell me that's right.

That's right.

Okay.

Then I'm done with the conversation
if you're gonna be getting [bleep].

-[Kris] What? Why are you leaving?
-You just asked me if it was...

[Bruce] I don't wanna talk to her
if that's what her attitude is.

All she had to do was make a phone call.

Yesterday.

"You know what? I got engaged.
You may hear it on the news."

She isn't engaged yet!

I get my ring Sunday.
We haven't even got engaged yet.

She's not engaged!

-You are engaged, Khlo�.
-[Khlo�] No, I'm not!

I'm not engaged yet!

-You're wrong.
-[Khlo�] I'm wrong for what?

You're wrong.

I'm not wrong!

-I'm done.
-Bruce, come here.

I'm done! Have a nice life!

Screw you, Khlo�.

Oh, I guess you won't be walking anybody
down the [bleep] aisle.

-[Khlo�] I'm not wrong!
-[Bruce] I'm done!

-Have a nice life!
-[Kris] Bruce! Bruce!

[Khlo�] "Have a nice life."

[Bruce] Screw you, Khlo�.

Oh, I guess you won't be walking anybody
down the [bleep] aisle.

-[Khlo�] "Screw me" because... of what?
-[Rob] Mom, shut up!

-What are you doing?
-No! What are you doing?

No, he's right! I'm serious.
You're being really rude.

-No one told him.
-[Kris] No, I'm not.

Yes, you are! You don't even care
about your husband. Bible, Mom.

That's really rude.

[Kourtney] This is crazy.

Everyone's yelling at everyone,

and Khlo� is such a mess.

He didn't say anything.
He said, "Tell me if this is right.

Are you..." He said something.

"Are you engaged to a guy
you met a month ago?"

And I said, "Yeah."
And then he goes, "You're an ass[bleep]."

I think he could've meant "Is this right?"
As in, is this...

right to do.

[Kris] He's hurt right now
because he feels left out.

That's not fair to put that on me, though.

-Hey, Bruce.
-Mm-hmm.

I yelled at... I yelled at Mom
'cause I completely agree with you.

You should've been the first person,
or one of the top...

A phone call, to say, "You know what,
tomorrow in the media,

it's gonna go all over the media
that I'm engaged.

You know what, it's right. I am engaged.

We're buying the ring on Sunday."

Okay. That's all I need to know.

[Rob] I feel bad for Bruce,
and I feel like he just feels...

like a different person,
like he's not part of the family.

And then she comes in with this attitude.

"Why should I tell you?"

-Well, I happen to have raised you.
-[Rob] Yeah.

Maybe I'm not your genetic father,

-but I am your father.
-[Rob] Yeah.

I've been here
since you were five years old.

[Rob] Yeah.

It would just be
the appropriate thing to do.

It's just her attitude.

So, if that's the case, great. I'm done.

I'm done. I can't take it.

I'm gonna go see what Bruce is doing.

I really don't want you to go yell at him.

-Honestly, Mom, it is just...
-Please, Mom, don't yell.

[Kris] I'm not gonna yell.

Can you just stop walking for a minute?

[whispering] I'm done.

Yeah, but... Well...

-But what about Mom? That's the problem.
-I don't know where to go from here now.

I don't know where to go from here either.
I think I'll just stay right here.

Were we supposed
to have a family dinner, or...

I have no idea. How about McDonald's,
you wanna go to McDonald's?

-Honey.
-[Bruce] Yeah?

Listen. This is gonna get... Unless...

We're the adults here.

They are the children.

She knew it was out.

[Kris] No, she didn't.

You want me to say something?

'Cause you can't say something
without yelling.

-Yeah.
-She did... This is what she told me.

She didn't know it got out.

Someone leaked it to someone,

and it got out,

and everyone knows about it now.

It wasn't her that told someone.

It's not her fault.

You're right.

[Kendall] You get that she wanted
to tell you in person?

Is that so hard to believe?

Khlo� and I have had a really
good relationship throughout the years.

And, um... I don't wanna lose
that close relationship over this thing.

Here's the deal.

Tell Khlo� to come up here
and all you guys leave.

-[Kris] Oy.
-Just me and Khlo�.

[Kendall] You better not yell.

-I'm not yelling.
-'Cause when people yell

it gives me a headache.

-Khlo�?
-[Bruce] Just... Oh, get out of here.

-Khlo� to my bedroom, please.
-[Bruce] Quit, everybody.

Can I stay?

No. You're leaving.

Goodbye. Khlo� and I.

Sucks.

Khlo�.

-[chuckling] What...
-[Bruce] Come on.

-Sit down right here.
-Mm-hmm.

Lie down.

-I'll sit.
-So you can relax. Just lay down.

-No, I'm fine.
-I don't wanna hear... No!

Sit down, lay down.
I want you to be relaxed.

I see your Laker-colored shoes.

Well... It's a coincidence.

[chuckling]

It's a coincidence.

All right.

-Love you.
-Totally.

Okay?

Uh... I'm sorry this went down that way,
especially downstairs.

I apologize.

-Mm-hmm.
-Okay?

I know I'm not your genetic dad,

but I pretty much raised you
since you were five years old.

That's kind of a really big deal
when your daughter gets engaged.

Wouldn't I be
one of the first phone calls?

-No?
-No, you would, but I wanted to...

You don't even know him.

You don't even know him.

Okay.

-[Bruce] No, I'm just saying...
-And I'm saying okay.

I'm not arguing.

[Bruce] Yeah. I mean, there's...

Um... [clears throat]

I hope this is going to be
a very long engagement.

I don't think so. [chuckles weakly]

[Bruce] Why?

-What's the rush?
-'Cause we wanted... There is no rush.

We just want to get married
within the next couple weeks.

-Couple of weeks?
-We're planning it. Yeah.

These two people
are strangers to each other.

They don't know each other.

They're just working
on adrenaline and hormones right now.

You don't know this guy.
It's gonna be like

Kimberley running off to Vegas
when she was 19.

And she didn't know

-who the hell this guy was.
-Right.

I'm just saying,
this is the wrong thing to do.

I'm not sitting here trying to declare

or justify anything to anyone.

This just is the decision.

[clears throat] Wow. Okay.

You do what you wanna do.

[Khlo� sighs]

[sniffles]

[sniffles and sighs]

Hello. Hold on,
Kylie wants to say something to you.

[Kylie] Hi, Lamar!

Hi, future brother-in-law.

[Khlo�] This is my engagement.

I'm supposed to be so happy,
over the moon,

and really excited.

I'm just not anymore.

[doorbell chiming]

-[Kourtney] Hi!
-[Sharon] Hi!

-[Kourtney] How are you?
-Good to see you.

-Good to see you.
-Yay!

Sharon Sacks has come to the house
to go over some specific wedding details.

-Um, should we wait for your mom, or...
-Where is she?

Let me tell her.

[Sharon] You're gonna love it, I think.

[Kourtney] She did both
of the Lopez weddings.

-[Sharon] The level of taste.
-[Khlo�] Yeah.

[Sharon] And when she phoned me
and she said to me,

"Do you mind doing this?
Will you do this for me again?"

-[whispering] What's going on?
-So that's... how much she loved you.

-I loved it.
-[whispering] Wedding planners.

-[whispering] What?
-[Kendall] These are the wedding planners.

Wedding plans?

-Yes.
-She's the wedding planner.

-[Bruce] Ah.
-[Kourtney] Bruce, this is Sharon.

I didn't know we had a wedding planner.

-[Kourtney] Yes.
-[Bruce] Ah.

-[Sharon] Hi, Bruce.
-[Bruce] Hello.

[Kourtney] She did Allison's.
Bruce just found out...

I just found out
there's gonna be a wedding

-about an hour ago.
-[Kourtney] Yeah.

Now, wait a sec.

A few days ago, this same person,
the wedding planner,

was in my house.

Kris lied to me.

Kris has known that this wedding's
been going on for days.

-[Bruce] Honey.
-Yeah.

I was, uh...

just downstairs...

[Kris] Yeah.

And they have the wedding planners.

Right.

Which, the wedding planners
were here like, what,

-two days ago? Three days ago?
-Right.

So, if you knew
Khlo� was getting married two days ago...

-[Kris] Uh-huh.
-Why didn't you tell me?

-Okay, wait a sec.
-[Bruce] Give me... Give me your excuse.

What, is it a trick question?

I'm just gonna sit here and, like,

watch guys racing cars having fun.

[Kris] Mm-hmm.

I'm just, like,
done with this whole thing.

Whatever relaxes you.

Okay, well, we'll let you know
when it's all taken care of.

[Bruce] Actually,
here's a show you should watch.

What is it?

Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?

[Kris] Ciao. Ta-ta.

[Bruce] Love you.

[Kris] I told you a million times

that that was gonna happen
if you didn't tell him earlier

and he had to find out
some other random way.

No, and I told you,
I wasn't gonna tell anybody

until I had rings to say I'm engaged.

You just have to remember
that he's coming from a loving place.

You know, he made your dad a promise

when your dad was dying

that he would be the one
to take care of you girls.

He feels so responsible
and that's why he's the tough one.

And Khlo�, he's just hurt.

He will come around. You watch and see.

If I were you, I would go to him

and ask him if he would
walk you down the aisle.

I know that's what you'd want
at the end of the day.

I don't feel like asking him
to walk me down the aisle.

[Khlo�] I'm so hurt by Bruce's reaction.

Even if I did ask him
to walk me down the aisle,

there's no way
he would want to even do it.

I am honestly
just way too emotionally drained

to even have this conversation.

He's spent the majority of his life

trying to take care of all of us.

You hear me?

[Bruce] I look and see all these boxes,

start opening up the boxes.
What are they?

Hmm! Wedding dresses.

And a lot of them. All from Vera Wang.

Where do you guys want this stuff?

Ooh, I wanna see what they look like.

[Bruce] I wanna know,

how did these... how did these girls
get Vera Wang dresses

in, like, two days?

This is a tragedy.

[Kourtney] Your dresses are up here

if you guys wanna start.

Obviously, Bruce is upset,
but we are all so excited

to see Khlo� in her wedding dress.

-[Khadijah] Kris, are you ready?
-I'm ready!

-Are you sure that you're ready?
-I'm ready!

[Khadijah] Are you sure that you're ready?

-[Malika] Yes! Come here!
-[Kris] I'm ready!

[all humming wedding march]

Oh... my... God.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God!

[Kourtney] It's just so amazing
to see Khlo�. This is...

This day is all about her

and just seeing her, you know,
with her glow and how happy she is,

um, is really amazing to see.

When he sees me,
you guys are gonna be like...

He's gonna really love what he sees.

-I mean, he already loves what he sees.
-Exactly.

It's just gonna throw it over the top.

This dress is so beautiful.

And every time I put it on,
I honestly feel like a princess.

This is turning into my fairytale wedding
and I'm so happy.

I know that you really like your dress...

[Khlo�] Oh, Mom,
I'm not wearing your dress.

[Kris] But just in case...

Wait, which wedding was this?

I don't know if this was my first wedding
or my second wedding.

[Khlo�] Seriously, from the start,

she's been trying to make this wedding
all about her.

And now the dress? Like, come on.

-Oh, my God.
-[Khlo�] That is so ugly, I would die.

-[Malika] Khlo�...
-What?

This dress is not ugly.
That is really mean.

[crying] That hurt my feelings.

[Khlo�] I felt like Kris
was making this all about her,

and I know I reacted
a little bit out of line.

But I do have to be more respectful
and appreciative of the fact

that my mom is throwing
this wedding together in nine days.

I love you, Mommy.

[Khlo�] I just wanted to say,

I'm sorry about the whole
wedding dress situation.

I appreciate how much work
you've put into this.

I know it's stressful on everyone.
On me, on you, on...

-Yeah.
-You know, everyone.

So I appreciate...
Didn't mean to make you cry.

I know you didn't.

I know that you're just really
stressed out like I am.

I just...

I didn't expect to have, like, a...

moment in the middle of all of this.

And I was telling those girls

that I'd just waited, like, my whole life

to be able to show
one of you girls that dress

-and I just...
-[Khlo�] Okay, and I'm sorry.

...didn't expect... I didn't even think
it would mean that much to me

until I pulled it out of the box.

-I just thought it was kind of funny.
-I said, I'm sorry.

-Because...
-I know.

-You are so...
-I don't mean to hurt your feelings.

So, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to make you feel bad.

I just wanted you to know
I didn't mean...

anything by it.

I love you.

You have the lip gloss on. Mwah!

[Kris] Everybody's stressed out.

And at the end of the day,
it needs to be all about Khlo�.

Going forward, I'm gonna make sure

that Khlo� realizes that this wedding
is going to be all about her

and not about me.

Okay, I'll try it out for you.

[Kim] I wanna make my mom happy,

so I'm gonna see
how the dress fits on me.

-All right.
-[Khlo�] It's so '70s.

-[Malika] It was the '70s?
-1978.

[singing] * The hills are alive *

I feel like I'm in The Sound of Music.

-Yeah!
-[laughing]

But I wanna get married!

[Khadijah] You could wear that dress.

[screams]

[Kris] Well, Khlo� doesn't
wanna try my dress on,

but Kim looks beautiful in it

and it fits her like a glove.

Wait, you guys.

Do you know that Rob asked Adrienne
to come with him

as his date?

Why did he do that?

[Kourtney] Well, Khlo� invited her...

-[Khlo�] No, I asked Rob at first.
-I heard she was invited, but I...

[Malika] No, no, no, that's not...
The discussion is, Rob asked,

-would she, like, be his date?
-...be his date?

[Kim] Rob asked Adrienne
to be his date for the wedding

and she said that, you know,

he can tag along with her
and her friends.

It's not looking too good for Rob.
That's not a date.

-That's gonna, like, kill Rob.
-That's convenient.

I love Adrienne,
but that's convenient for her

and it may hurt Rob later.
I don't like the idea.

[Scott] How you doing, buddy?

[Rob] Adrienne hit me up and was like,
"Do you want to go to the wedding,"

you know, but as friends, like, with her...

Amigos?

-That's an absolute no.
-Yeah...

I mean, in that case,
you might as well tape your [bleep] back

and make pretend
you got a man-gina on deck.

You'll go with me,

you'll meet her at the wedding
on your own turf.

I know Rob really cares about Adrienne

and cares about her feelings, but...

if he doesn't watch what he's doing,
he's gonna end up as a complete friend

that looks completely desperate to her.

I think you could tell her
whatever you really are feeling

when you're there.

I just don't think you need to put
yourself out there and be calling her

and trying to go to the wedding
with her, with her friends...

-You know how crazy I am.
-It's not a date.

I know you are, but please,
just let it happen.

If you see her and things go well
and it's meant to be, it will.

-Right.
-And I believe that it could work out.

[Rob] Hopefully, she sees the good in me

-and realizes...
-[Scott] Well, you are a good guy.

You unfortunately broke up
over reasons that were...

not great for you,

but if you really are a good guy
and wanna change,

I'm sure she would be willing
to take you back.

-You just have to be a gentleman.
-[Rob] Kourtney took you back.

-Honestly, don't compare yourself to me.
-[chuckling]

[Rob] Scott really does have a good point
about going to the wedding with the guys,

and my best bet is to just...

see Adrienne at the wedding and...
see what happens.

Done. You're coming with me, then.

-L'chaim.
-Mazel.

[Kris] Okay, Lamar and Khlo�
are gonna be here

in five minutes, you guys.
Five minutes.

This is an important night.

This is the first time that Lamar
is gonna have dinner with us as a family.

He's... This is a lot of drama

for somebody to take in
on the first night. Okay?

-We can't shock him.
-Mom, FYI, I'm getting a Phantom,

with a driver to take me to the wedding.

-Um...
-[Kris] Of course, you are.

I, like, don't even get
that you're talking about Rolls-Royces

and I need to cook dinner.

Like, get real!

Everyone is stressing out about tonight.

Bruce and Lamar have never met,
it's gonna be their first time at dinner,

and I just hope it goes well.

All right, that one's done.

-[Kris] Hi!
-Hi.

-[Kris] Hi! How are you?
-You look snazzy.

Hold on, I don't want anybody
to get burnt.

-Hi, doll.
-Hi.

[Kris humming]

I bet you need a hug.
How are you?

[Bruce] This is the first time
I'm going to meet Lamar.

[inhales deeply]
This is gonna be a tough one for me.

I mean, this is really hard
to welcome this guy into my home.

I don't even know him... [sighs]

and he's marrying Khlo�.

Yeah. His middle name was Christopher,
and I think that's what we should go with.

-Jamie Christopher.
-Oh, just everybody start without me.

-Don't worry.
-Sorry, Brucie.

-He looks more like a Jamie Christopher.
-Yeah, just start without me.

Sorry, Bruce.

-You want me to get you a plate, Bruce?
-No, I...

-You sure? All right.
-I got it.

[Khlo�] Bruce is being so rude to Lamar.

He doesn't even shake his hand
when he arrives,

and he doesn't even introduce himself
at the dinner table.

Bruce hates me.

Bruce's reaction to my engagement
was not good.

No one is gonna mess this up.
I'm in love with Lamar,

and it's just not gonna happen that way.

Anybody wants red wine?
It's down here.

[Rob] You're drinking tonight?

[Bruce] Oh, yes.

[Kris] Oh, no.

Here we go.

[indistinct chattering]

[Bruce] I wanna ask you some questions
about the wedding.

No... What questions?

He doesn't know any answers.

I don't know what's going on,
I'm just there.

-I'm just showing up.
-He's just an innocent bystander.

No, wait a second, about the wedding.

Do we have a best man?

[Kourtney] Do you have a...
You don't have a brother.

No.

Oh, so you were...

I'm an only child.

-Do you have brothers?
-No, I'm an only child.

Spoiled little only child!

Nope, nope, not at all. My story's rough.

My mother passed away when I was 12.

When you were how old?

My mother passed away when I was 12.

-Twelve?
-Yeah.

-Of what?
-Um, cancer.

-No way.
-Yeah.

-And my dad...
-Cancer of what?

The colon.

It was nasty.

It was quick.

She got sick in like, um, February...

-Yeah.
-...and July 6th, she was gone.

-That's like her dad.
-Yeah.

I mean, three months...

-Yeah.
-...from diagnosis to gone.

Yeah.

And quick, quick.

-Cancer is...
-He lost 72 pounds in three months.

Yeah, exactly.
Terrible, terrible, terrible disease.

Painful.

Yeah.

Yeah, Robert went downhill so fast.
I mean, it was just

the most horrible thing.

[Khlo�] This is so weird.

I'm overhearing some of Bruce's
and Lamar's conversation

and they're really
opening up to each other.

-[Bruce] Where'd you grow up?
-New York City.

[Bruce] Oh, really?

Tarrytown. Westchester County kid.

Westchester County.

-Just north of the city, yeah.
-Wow.

[Khlo�] I hear them talking
about the Olympics

and talking about their family history

and it's just getting deep,

which I'm surprised Bruce
is going all in with Lamar.

You know, getting in the game
of being competitive,

it's about doing the work
when nobody's watching.

-Yeah.
-You know?

It's about pushing yourself,

-it's about driving yourself.
-Yeah.

[Kris] I look over,

and there's Bruce and Lamar

talking and sharing
all these stories together

and they're like suddenly new BFFs!

Hold it. All I... All I want to say

is I wish both of you

love and happiness.

-[Lamar] Yes.
-Thank you.

-[Bruce] Lamar, welcome to the family.
-Thank you, sir.

And, um, you know, good luck!

-[Lamar] Thank you.
-And, uh, you know, let's...

Let's do... I guess we're doing it,

-so let's do it!
-[Lamar] I guess so!

Here, here!

-All the way.
-That's the way it is.

[Bruce] Although I don't know Lamar yet,

I have a lot of respect for him.

I mean, he grew up in New York
in a very tough situation.

Lost his mom at a young age.

He's been through a lot.

He's been extremely successful.

I mean, those are a lot of great qualities

that any dad would like to see
in this situation.

But, uh...

I certainly don't think
they should get married right now.

That's kind of where I'm at.

So it's gonna take more time
for me to warm up.

[romantic acoustic guitar music playing]

-Khlo�.
-...excited that you're excited.

That's okay.
You can interrupt the moment.

You ever been in love before?

You ever been in love before?

-Mm-hmm.
-No?

Mm-hmm.

-What is wrong with you?
-[Malika] This makes it real.

Oh, this ain't no joke.

[Malika gasps]

[Lamar] Would you marry me?

Oh, my God.

[Lamar] We're gonna hang out
forever, Khlo!

[shrieking]

[cheering and applause]

[Kim] Wait. Khlo�...

I'm so happy for you guys. I really am.

-I love you. I really do.
-[Malika] It's a wedding!

Khlo. It couldn't be...

It could not have been more gorgeous.

[Kim] Khlo�'s ring is gorgeous.

I'm sure in the back of her mind,

she's always dreamed of a nice big ring.

She just has never expressed it
the way some other people do,

but it's pretty huge and amazing.

-Do you love the setting?
-Yeah!

[Kourtney] To see the look on Khlo�'s face

and her amazing diamond rock
that she got,

I mean, it was just such a magical moment

and I'm so glad that Lamar
chose to share it with everyone.

[Khlo�] I'm engaged!

[laughs] Oh, mama.

[Khlo�] I feel very at peace.

Very comfortable in my own skin.

Very secure.

And literally in his sleep,

every time he wakes up and he moves,

he tells me he loves me
when he rolls over.

That's just not
what I've ever had before.

[Brad] Oh...

Oh, my.

Whoa!

Whoa!

-That's a rock.
-Yes!

-Well, congratulations.
-Very nice.

-This is what...
-I just got proposed...

-Now you can tell me!
-Now I can tell you!

I'm engaged!

Now you can tell me,
'cause you were gonna wait for the ring!

Yes! And now you know why!

[Bruce] The bottom line is,

I respect Khlo�'s decision.

It's her life, and I'll stand by her

and be behind her and just

absolutely hope for the best.

I want Khlo� to be happy,
I want Lamar to be happy.

That's all I'm trying to do.

And hit the golf ball straight
once in a while too.

-[Scott] Hasta la vista, baby!
-[Rob] Bye!

-[Brad] Bye!
-Bye, guys!

You can go home and bone,
now that you have your bling.

We're not allowed to bone.

He's holding out on me
until the wedding night.

-[Scott] Use that thing.
-[Kris] We love you guys.

[Malika] See you later!

[laughing]

Thank you!

Got a little carried away.

Kim and Kourtney decided
to throw me a bachelorette party,

which I never wanted.

I specifically said,

I do not want a bachelorette party.

To Khlo�!

[all cheering]

[all] Yay!

Okay, so,

I'm thinking the best thing
that we can do now

is go around and tell
a really funny story about Khlo�.

[Kim] So, um, I remember we were...

I took you on your favorite vacation ever.

-Oh, Africa?
-To Africa.

[Khlo�] The 22-hour flight
with Kim and Reggie was not fun.

Twenty-two-hour flight.

During a breakup sitting on a,
like, a confined area is not fun.

Twenty-two hours and we were like...

I was... There was one point
where I was crying on the plane,

-[Kim] fighting...
-Not crying.

"Ahh!"

Screaming crying, and I'm like,

"We're on... we're in first class.

Please be quiet, please,"
and she goes...

[imitating crying] "I don't care!

Anyone can hear me!

I don't care!"

It was the most torturous trip ever

and I really feel like in...
within a year...

I mean, within a month,

-so much has changed.
-[all laughing]

Like, I feel like our roles have reversed

and it's really cool
and I'm really, really happy for you.

Thanks, Joge.

[Kim] And now, you have a man

that'll take you on better vacations
than my torturous trips I bring you on.

Seriously.

And I apologize in public.

Your trip was fun. Here.

-Aww.
-Thank you.

[Kim] I am so happy for Khlo�.

This is such an exciting time

and I know that Khlo�
has kind of held back on

sharing her love for Lamar

'cause she knows
that I'm a little bit sad about Reggie.

But it has nothing to do with that now.

This is Khlo�'s time

and I'm so happy for her.

Yeah!

Khlo�!

[all cheering]

[Kris] All right, girls,

we're going to the room.

-[Kim] We're going in the room.
-Let's go.

[Kim] Let's get naughty.

Yeah!

[whooping]

I have vodka!

Who would actually bang
something like that?

Is that a penis pinata?

[Kris] I don't think moms are supposed
to go to bachelorette parties

and there's a reason for that.

No mom should have to look
at all these penises.

What do you think this means

-at a bachelorette party?
-[women shrieking]

-[banging on door]
-Police! Get the door!

[women screaming]

[Kim] Okay, guys.

What do you think this means
at a bachelorette party?

[banging on door]

-Hi!
-How you doing, sweetie?

Oh, sweetie. I'm good. How are you?

What's wrong with this picture?

There's nothing but ladies in here.

Sweetie. [whoops]

If I ever have a bachelorette party,
my mom is definitely not coming.

-[upbeat pop music playing]
-[shrieks]

[Kris] In my day,
we had wedding showers.

It was really civilized.

Now, it's just wrong.

Thanks, but no thanks.

I am outta here.

-Tight little panties you got on, huh?
-[Slam] Yeah, they are.

[Kourtney] I think we're definitely
all getting the impression

that Slam is not much of a stripper
and he's more of

a men's gogo dancer.

[screaming]

[Kim] I'm all about having a good time,

but this guy, this stripper

is just way too close for comfort.

He just really grosses me out.

[Khlo�] You can stay,

as long as we get
to play this game with you.

And if you don't want to do ring toss,
then you can't stay.

[Slam] No, no, by all means, play.

Play, by all means.

[Khlo�] How are you gonna dance?

Let's see if you can dance
with this belly in the way.

[Kourtney] Being at
Khlo�'s wedding rehearsal

is definitely making this
all seem so real.

It's the day before the wedding.

We're all getting really excited.

-Ladies and gentlemen!
-Hi! Okay, everybody.

[Kris] The faster we listen to Sharon,
the faster we can have a little cocktail.

[Sharon] So what's gonna happen is,
you're gonna come down the aisle

and then the bridesmaids

are coming up these stairs.

The groomsmen

are walking up these stairs.

Okay? On the right are the groomsmen,

on the left are the bridesmaids.

-Got it?
-[Khlo�] Got it.

And now...

You're gonna go right after Kim,
and I'm gonna...

Okay, okay.

You bring Khlo�.

[scoffs]

Pastor, faster.

[Kim] Khlo� has asked Rob
to walk her down the aisle at her wedding

and I just... I don't know.

I don't really think
that it's the best thing.

You know, Bruce raised Khlo�, so
he's definitely more of a father figure.

[Brad] So, who will have the rings?

Okay, Kourtney
'cause Kim will probably steal mine.

-So you hold it.
-I'll hold it.

[Kourtney] Can I keep
the ring down my boob?

[Sharon] Whatever you want.

-I dare you.
-What if I had it in my vagine

and I had to get it out.

-Oh, Lord.
-Ew!

Pregnant vagina?

Oh, it's so pretty with the flowers.

This is my favorite, favorite...

-favorite...
-[Kris] Aw, it's so pretty.

-...favorite place.
-Look how nice they did it!

[Kris] Wow. It's wedding rehearsal dinner
at The Lobster,

which is Lamar's favorite restaurant
in Los Angeles.

Hi!

-Hi.
-I'm so glad to meet you.

You're so tall.

-That's true, and handsome!
-And handsome!

[Kris] It really feels wonderful

to have the whole family
together again tonight

and it means so much to Khlo� to have
all of us supporting her, loving her,

and we're so happy for her.

[Khlo�] Okay, excuse me.

Excuse me.

Thank you, everyone, for coming.

I know this has been thrown together
in ten days.

-[chuckling]
-Um...

So... And my mother helped 1,000%.

This could not have been done
without my mom.

Mom, Lamar and I
wanted to give you a present

-just to say thank you.
-[Malika] Yay, Kris!

[all cheering]

For all your support...

For supporting us, being happy for us.

I know you haven't been sleeping.

I know all of that

and we appreciate it because we know
this is right and what we want to do

and we love that you have
been encouraging the entire way.

[all murmuring and cheering]

Thank you so much.

[Khlo�] I really wanna thank my mom

for putting this entire wedding together
in nine days.

I mean, just this rehearsal dinner alone,
it's amazing.

[Malika] It's a birthday party!

[Kris] It's a birthday party!

In honor of Cathy, everybody!
Lamar's mom.

-This is the anniversary of her birthday.
-Wow.

[Kris] And we felt that it was really, um,

important as, um,

as Lamar's new family and support team

that we are also embracing Cathy

and tonight, we just want
to wish her a happy birthday.

[Kris] The most important person
in Lamar's life is his mom, Cathy.

And Cathy passed away

when he was about 12 years old.

And I thought that would be a nice way

for Lamar to know
that we are so sensitive

to the people
that are so important to him

and that he's lost,
just like Khlo� lost her dad.

[Jeff] They seem like a great family.

-That's the one thing...
-And you never had that.

[Lamar] That's the one thing
that people don't know.

So that was the... like, the draw,

just, like, pushes you
in the right direction.

[Jeff] Absolutely.

Can I have everybody's attention here
for one second?

[Khlo�] Oh, my God.

[Bruce] One second.

[Khlo�] First, I never expected Bruce
to even say something.

I just feel like Bruce is kind of like
the more silent guy

who is just like, "Whatever."

Just kind of rolls with the punches.

Um...

[Bruce] Sometimes, like,
Khlo� and people that are young

don't realize truly
what this commitment is.

I know maybe I shouldn't say anything

but sometimes you just have to,

and there's something
I gotta get off my chest...

right now.

Can I have everybody's attention here
for one second?

[Khlo�] Oh, my God.

[Lamar] You gotta be a winner
like Bruce Jenner.

[Bruce] One second.

Khlo�, um...

You came into my life when you were five,
just turning six years old.

Um... And I have to admit,

maybe because you were
the younger one and everything,

but I think throughout the years,

we have had a very special relationship.

[voice breaking] The one person
that's missing here tonight...

I know he's looking down on you...

and smiling.

That's your dad.

Don't cry. [chuckles]

[Bruce sniffles] Um...

About two weeks
before your dad passed away,

I talked to him

and I told him, I said, "Hey, lookit,
if I was in your position..."

I said, "What would really bother me

is not about me,

it would be about my children."

[voice breaking] And I told him,
I will always be there for you kids.

[sniffling]

And I hope I have.

Which brings me to Lamar.

-We've known each other a few days now...
-[all laughing]

And, uh...

Of course, you can understand
any father's concern

when his daughter
comes up to him and says,

"I've known this guy a month
and we're getting married in a week."

But I just wanna say that, um,

just in the few days and the time that
I've had the chance to spend with you,

um, I think Khlo�'s made
a wonderful decision.

So, I said to her father

that I'd always take care of her.

[laughing] Now she's your responsibility.

[all laughing]

And good luck, big guy.

[all applauding]

[Khlo�] I have never seen Bruce cry
in my life. I don't think anyone has.

To see Bruce cry and get that emotional
and that choked up about everything,

it just... It meant so much to me

and I think, "Okay, Bruce would never
do that if he didn't like Lamar."

Bruce would never put himself out there
if he didn't agree with the situation.

He might not have agreed with it at first,
but Bruce definitely came around.

Give me a kiss.

-You're a good daddy.
-All right!

Bye! Nice to meet you.

See you tomorrow.

-[Khlo�] Can I talk to you for a second?
-[Bruce] Yeah.

Um... I think you've done such a good job

at not trying to force
being the dad role on us,

that you've done such a good job
on letting it gradually just happen,

and I don't think we've really
given you credit for that.

I know you're someone in my life
that I've known since I've been five,

and that has been...

Even if it's said or not, been an
incredibly strong male figure in my life,

which we don't have many of,
and, um...

We don't, I think, treat you
with enough respect

as one of our father figures.

You're just such a strong man in that way,

which you deserve a lot of credit for
that I don't think you get.

But, um...

what I wanted to know is if...

I thought it over,
and if you would be willing

to walk me down the aisle tomorrow.

I would be nothing but honored...

[Khlo�] Thank you, Brucie.

...to walk my little Khlo� down the aisle.

[Khlo�] Yay.

-Thank you.
-Yay.

-[Malika] Are you gonna cry?
-I think I'll probably cry.

But when everyone is...

[Kim] I think I would not cry at
my wedding 'cause I would ruin my makeup.

Like, you can't go through all that
and then ruin all your makeup.

It's the night before the wedding
and we're all in our big suite

just having our last real
single girls' night.

Is it weird that I'm, like, not nervous?

I think it's normal.
Everyone's reaction's different.

[Khlo�] I'm completely fine today.
I don't feel nervous.

I'm more excited.
I'm more like, "Okay, gotta get there."

I wanna see the inside
where the reception is,

I wanna see all the flowers

and just see him standing
at the end of the aisle.

I'm just excited.

[Khlo�] For the last time,

it's gonna be Khlo� Kardashian
you guys are sleeping with.

-I love you, Khlo� Kardashian.
-Mwah.

-Good night, Khlo� Kardashian.
-Mwah.

Don't ruin my spray tan.

I'm just excited.
I just... wanna be married.

-You're getting married!
-[chuckles]

-Kourt, you look huge in a robe.
-[Khlo� laughs]

-[Kourtney] Good.
-Huge. You look like Santa Claus.

-[laughing]
-Ho, ho, ho.

I said I could do a performance
on Christmas Eve.

Do you not think it's so weird

how, like, you're knocked up
and I'm about to be married?

Miami cursed us.

"Single sisters in Miami"? Now it's...

[Kourtney] That was, like,
our goal in life.

But that was... We, like,
fulfilled our goal and now,

they're like, "Oh, okay,

someone has to get pregnant
and someone has to go get married."

I thought those both would be me.

[Kourtney] And we thought going there,

we were like, "We can't bring that..."

-[Khlo�] Bore?
-"...that boring bitch

who has a boyfriend."

[Kim] Just a few months ago,
Kourtney and Khlo� went off to Miami

to go live the single, crazy partying life

and I was, you know,
Betty Crocker at home

in my few-year-long relationship.

And, you know, they're back,

Kourtney's pregnant,
Khlo�'s getting married,

and I'm so happy for Kourtney and Khlo�.

[Kourtney and Kim]
You're getting married tomorrow!

-Whoo-hoo!
-My baby is about to plop out!

[Kris] Okay, everybody.

Listen up. We have 35 minutes.

[inaudible]

Miss Thing!

[knocking at door]

-Hello.
-Hi, how are you?

Yes, our dresses.
I think I'll just take them.

[Kim] The morning of the wedding,

Khlo� does get overwhelmed
when there's a lot of people around

and so much going on,

that I just wanted to let her know

that this is your day,

and nothing else matters but you.

How does it feel to be, like...

queen of the day?

I feel like, this would be,
like, your dream.

I just really don't care.

You, like, wish you were queen of the day.

No, I don't, honey.

Just excited. I'm just like,
can we get this show on the road?

Like, today is gonna be the first day
of the rest of your life.

The beginning to my everything.

-Word?
-[Kim] Word.

To Khlo�!

[all] To Khlo�!

[Kourtney] To Khlo� and Lamar,
getting married today!

[gentle orchestral music playing]

[Kourtney] I am in such a daze.

My heart is racing so fast.
I'm so nervous.

Seeing it all come to life is so amazing.

The ten-piece orchestra.
The flowers. Everything.

Wow. It's happening in moments.

We're all gonna walk down the aisle

and, um, I haven't had a lot of time

to digest the whole significance
of this moment.

It's just so surreal.

A family friend lent Khlo� their house
and it looks so gorgeous.

[inaudible]

[Sharon] Yeah, you can move it in more
if you want.

All the way to the wall.

No, that way. Yep.

Do you have a car in front of the house?
You gotta move 'em.

You gotta be gone.
Thank you, guys.

[Scott] So, I notice more and more guests
getting to the wedding,

and then I notice Adrienne.

I figured I'd go over and try to

put in a good word for Rob, 'cause, uh...

Let's be honest, he needs it.

Oh, you got a little pork chop
over there?

Yes.

[Scott] We already know what time it is.

-Adrienne...
-Yes.

I know you're here for Rob
and not just Khlo�.

-I'm here for the family.
-[Scott] Let's be honest.

-Everyone. For Kris, for Kendall, Kylie.
-"And the family," better known as Rob.

-So...
-Do you miss Rob?

[laughing]

'Cause we all miss you, Adrienne.

All aside, I'm happy that you're here

-even if it's for Khlo�.
-[Adrienne] No, I'm so happy. No.

I haven't actually seen him yet.

So when are you getting married?

Rob and you have to tie the knot first.

That was always the deal.

I can't believe you flew in for this...

-Yes!
-...just for Rob.

It's a big occasion.

[laughing]

-[woman] You are not cool.
-You're a [bleep].

Scott, get me a drink or something.

I'm not a bartender, Adrienne.

[Khlo�] Veils are so ugly.

Khlo�! No, it's not.

Mom!

Look, I look like I'm going
to go bee hunting.

Bee hunting?

-What are you talking about?
-I hate the veil.

-That's what veils are.
-If you hate the veil,

don't wear the veil.

No, Khlo�! That looks so pretty.

-How are you guys doing?
-Good, how you doing?

[all cooing]

I have a little anxiety.

-Don't worry, don't worry. Calm down.
-[Khlo�] I need a mirror.

Calm down.

You look gorgeous.
Your dress is stunning.

[Bruce] Let's do it!

Let's do it! You're getting married!

[girls cheer]

[Khlo�] I'm standing in the guesthouse
and I see

my sisters and everyone walking out

one by one.

I'm, like, losing each one.

I'm like, "Okay, we're getting
a little bit closer

and a little bit closer."

I'm just getting more and more anxious.

I'm about to walk down the aisle

and my heart is racing.

The last three weeks have gone by so fast.

I mean, now, I'm getting married.

I just can't believe
I'm actually doing this.

[fanfare playing]

[inaudible]

[organ playing fanfare]

[inaudible]

-[wedding march playing]
-[applause]

[Brad] It's a joy to welcome each of you
to this sacred and joyful occasion

as we celebrate the union
of Khlo� and Lamar.

And it's now my privilege to ask,

who gives this woman
to be married to this man?

My wife, Kris, and I,

we do.

[Kris] Bruce must be
so proud and excited.

He has looked forward to this moment

for many, many years.

Ugh, delicious!

[Brad] I've had the privilege

of getting to know both of you a bit

and I know the hope that you have

for a joy-filled journey through life

as husband and wife.

[Rob] For me to see my sister so happy

and like, finally,

she found someone.

I definitely, definitely think
that this will last.

So, if you're ready,

Lamar, if you'll take your ring for Khlo�,

place it on her finger,

and as you do,

please repeat after me.

"I, Lamar..."

I, Lamar...

"...give you this ring..."

...give you this ring...

"...as a promise and symbol..."

[Lamar] ...as a promise and symbol...

[Brad] "...of my heart
and faithfulness..."

...of my heart and faithfulness...

[Brad] "...my love and commitment to you."

[Lamar] ...my love and commitment to you.

"When I'm angry, I will seek to be kind."

When I'm angry, I will seek to be kind.

[Brad] "When we speak,
I will be truthful."

When we speak, I will be truthful.

[Brad] "And each day of my life..."

[Lamar] And each day of my life...

"...I will be faithful to you."

...I will be faithful to you.

[Brad] And Khlo�, if you'll place
your ring for Lamar on his finger,

and as you do, repeat after me.

-[Brad] "I, Khlo�..."
-I, Khlo�...

-[Brad] "...give you this ring..."
-...give you this ring...

[Brad] "...as a promise and symbol..."

...as a promise and symbol...

[Brad] "...of my heart
and my faithfulness..."

...of my heart and my faithfulness...

[Brad] "...my love and commitment to you."

...my love and commitment to you.

"When I'm angry, I'll seek to be kind."

When angry, I will seek to be kind.

[Brad] "When we speak,
I will be truthful."

When I speak, I will be truthful.

[Brad] "And each day of my life..."

And each day of my life...

"...I will be faithful to you."

...I will be faithful to you.

[Brad] Because of your desire

to build a marriage for the ages,

because of the rings you have given,

from this day forward,

you are husband and wife.

Whoo!

[Bruce] Khlo� is married!

[Kourtney] I've never seen Khlo� happier

and I think that

when it is true love, you just know.

[orchestra playing wedding recessional]

[upbeat music playing]

[Rob] I see Adrienne across the room

and I haven't spoken to her
in about six months

and it's just killing me

and I need to talk to her right now.

-I'm going to go say hi to my ex-girl...
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I see you.

Beautiful Adrienne...

Hi, baby.

-How are you?
-How're you doing?

[Rob] Adrienne looks beautiful

and I'm actually

a little intimidated by her.

Adrienne. Did you cry, or no? No, right?

-Did I cry?
-It's too loud. It's too loud to cry.

It's too loud to get into it.

I'm too cool for that [bleep].

[Rob] At first, it is kind of awkward

and I'm just trying to make

this situation as comfortable as possible.

I'm hot.

Yeah, it's been really hot.

My face is on fire.

Take off your clothes.

[MC on mic] Attention, party people
in the place to be.

Please welcome to the floor,

the groom and the bride,

Mr. Lamar Odom

and Miss Khlo� Kardashian!

Aw, I think we can bring it back.

Let's call her Khlo� Odom!

Let's go! Give 'em
a round of applause, y'all!

[romantic pop ballad playing]

[Kris] This room tonight is full of

people that love and adore
Khlo� and Lamar.

I love you so much

and I'm so happy for you guys

and you deserve it.

Daddy would be very proud of you.

[MC] Give 'em a round of applause, y'all.

[crowd cheering and applauding]

[inaudible]

[Rob] You know, I'm trying to be

as cool as possible with Adrienne,

friendly and funny

and, you know, remind her of the Robert
that she used to love.

[MC] All the single ladies!

-[electronic dance music playing]
-Whoo!

And never did I ever think

that I would be the guy
stuck with the purse.

I know that I have to prove to Adrienne

that I truly deserve a second chance

and it's just gonna take time.

It's not gonna happen overnight.

Okay.

[MC] Round of applause for Jerry, y'all.
The first best man.

I want to welcome Khlo� to our family

and, uh, I'm happy
about Khlo� and Lamar tonight.

Twelve years ago, Lamar's grandmother

asked me to promise her

that I'll always, no matter what,

watch over Lamar,

take care of him

and always be there for him.

Lamar's mom passed away few years earlier

and he had no brothers or sisters.

So tonight, Khlo�,

I ask you to honor that very same promise
to his grandmother,

that you will always support Lamar
and stand by him.

Because you have realized very quickly

what the rest of us already know,

it's very easy to love Lamar.

God bless both of you
on your special day.

[MC] Thank you, Jerry.

[Khlo�] I see a different side of Lamar

than I think that a lot of people see,

so when he starts crying
after his best man's speech,

it doesn't really surprise me.

It just really makes me respect him

and I just really respect the man he is,

and I value his heart and his mind

and it's just...
I mean, he's a beautiful person.

[MC] Now I'd like to welcome

Khlo�'s sisters and maids of honor,

the beautiful Kim and Kourtney Kardashian.

Give a round of applause.

[Kim] We didn't really write anything.

We didn't write anything

but, um, in the short time
that we've known Lamar

we can already tell

that he fits into our family.

[Kim] 'Cause when you...
when you date one of us,

you kind of date the whole family, so...

[Kourtney] And Lamar's excited
to be dating all three of us.

[Kim] The reception
is the best part of this wedding.

I mean, this is where,
you know, we're really feeling

the love that's, you know, in this room

and it's all of our closest friends
and family members.

It's something that my dad does

every single night at the dinner table.

We'd say what the peak of our day was

and what the pit of our day was.

So, the pit of our day...

I... You can take over.

-You know what the pit is.
-[laughter]

The pit is that our dad isn't here,

but the peak is seeing how happy
Khlo� is, and Lamar,

-and how happy Lamar makes Khlo�.
-[all applauding]

[Kim] We love you guys.

[Kourtney] We love you guys.

[Kourtney] Khlo� and Lamar,

I wish you a life of health and happiness.

Get ready for Kim and I to come sleep over

at least once a week.

[Kim] This is by far, the best wedding
I've ever been to.

We will always be here for you guys
no matter what,

and I love you very much

and I cannot wait
for this journey for you guys.

I would like you all to join us

in a very traditional Armenian dance.

[Kris] I'm just really happy for you
and proud of you, Khlo�.

You're an amazing woman.

[Kim] This season,
on Keeping Up with the Kardashians...

[crowd screaming]

[Kris] Leave her alone!

Oh, my God!

[Khlo�] So, do you like this house?

-What's the price?
-$5.9 million.

[Khlo�] I think this is the house!

In the meantime,

we could live in the car!

If you want your dress back,

you will listen
to the following instructions.

[laughing]

I need my [bleep] dress.

I want my damn ATM card.

Lately, she's just been so up and down.

You know, we used
to have sex every single day

and now, it's like...

-No. Leave.
-Mmm.

I mean, I can't catch a break!

You're not even into it yet!

[Kylie screaming] Ew!

Go get a room!

I am freaking out right now.

It hurts!

-[ambulance siren wailing]
-[doctor] You do not want this

to be the last erection you ever have.

Come on, you little bitch!

You guys make me feel like

I'm the one that have to [bleep]
get married and have a baby!

I'm fine!

It's just lie after lie.

I have a stalker.

You should not go home, Kim.
This is your life.

What the [bleep] are you doing?

This is about as dumb as you've gotten.

I'll either call the police

or you don't spend time with our...

Oh, come on! He's brainwashing you!

Scott is the father of the child,
so you better get used to that.

I don't have to get used to anything.

-You're a sick [bleep].
-No!

[bleeping]

I hate him.