All language subtitles for Keeping.Up.with.the.Kardashians.S03E06.WEBRip.Netflix.en[cc]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:03,003 [music playing] 2 00:00:06,573 --> 00:00:08,808 [Kris] Khlo�, would you help me do the dishes? 3 00:00:09,275 --> 00:00:10,143 Thanks. 4 00:00:12,178 --> 00:00:14,114 I'm the red-headed stepchild. 5 00:00:14,881 --> 00:00:16,983 "Khlo�, do this." "Khlo�, do that." 6 00:00:17,484 --> 00:00:19,119 -[in French accent] Robert! -What? 7 00:00:19,185 --> 00:00:21,287 [Kourtney] Do you feel like getting a CD out of my car? 8 00:00:21,354 --> 00:00:23,056 Ask Khlo�, she's the stepchild. 9 00:00:23,123 --> 00:00:24,424 This sucks. 10 00:00:24,691 --> 00:00:26,793 -Who washes plastic? -[Kris] Who wants water? 11 00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:28,128 Kourtney, you want some water? 12 00:00:28,194 --> 00:00:30,163 Can I have it with some lemon, please? 13 00:00:30,230 --> 00:00:31,831 -[Rob] Who washes... -[Kris] Lemon? Sure, sweety. 14 00:00:32,332 --> 00:00:33,967 Here. Can you just throw that away? 15 00:00:35,135 --> 00:00:35,969 Thanks. 16 00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:38,271 I... I'm thirsty too. 17 00:00:38,605 --> 00:00:39,773 -No ice? -No ice? 18 00:00:39,839 --> 00:00:42,542 [Khlo�] Can I do anything for you, Kourt? Rub your back? 19 00:00:42,609 --> 00:00:46,346 Mom, what would you like? A manicure, pedicure, bikini wax? 20 00:00:46,413 --> 00:00:49,349 There's just a few more plates here, Khlo�, and then you'll be done. 21 00:00:49,983 --> 00:00:51,785 Well, I'll show you done, bitch. 22 00:00:53,286 --> 00:00:54,320 -[camera shutters] -[Bruce] All right, we're ready. 23 00:00:54,387 --> 00:00:56,189 No, no, no, you're right here. 24 00:00:56,256 --> 00:00:58,425 The wind, you guys... Is this necessary? 25 00:00:58,491 --> 00:00:59,759 Go change. Awful. 26 00:01:00,126 --> 00:01:01,261 No, that is not cute. 27 00:01:01,327 --> 00:01:02,896 [man] Yeah, yeah, yeah, go on. 28 00:01:02,962 --> 00:01:04,397 I'm gonna need someone to make me laugh. 29 00:01:04,464 --> 00:01:05,532 Where's Kim? 30 00:01:05,598 --> 00:01:07,000 [Khlo�] Kim is always late. 31 00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:08,034 I am here. 32 00:01:08,201 --> 00:01:09,469 [Kourtney] Get out of our way! 33 00:01:09,536 --> 00:01:11,171 [Kim] Stop! Jealous? 34 00:01:11,237 --> 00:01:12,739 -[Bruce] Stop! -[Kris] That's enough. 35 00:01:12,806 --> 00:01:13,673 Stop! 36 00:01:14,307 --> 00:01:15,308 [man 1] Great, guys. 37 00:01:15,375 --> 00:01:16,443 -[man 2] That's it. We're done. -[man 3] Money. 38 00:01:22,282 --> 00:01:23,950 -[Rob] No... -[Khlo�] Is this the Pimp 'n' Hoes party? 39 00:01:24,184 --> 00:01:25,118 Wait, where? 40 00:01:25,185 --> 00:01:26,886 -This. You guys all look like whores. -Yeah. 41 00:01:26,953 --> 00:01:27,954 -[Rob] Wait a minute. -It is. 42 00:01:28,021 --> 00:01:29,522 Look at Dad. 43 00:01:29,589 --> 00:01:32,358 I'm so not a part of this family. Look how big my nose is. 44 00:01:32,425 --> 00:01:33,359 -Look at my shirt. -[Kourtney] Ew! Look! 45 00:01:33,426 --> 00:01:36,529 [Khlo�] Like, your skin color, your hair color, everyone... 46 00:01:36,596 --> 00:01:38,498 I do not look like you guys. 47 00:01:38,565 --> 00:01:39,966 -It's like not normal. -Khlo�, yes you do. 48 00:01:40,033 --> 00:01:42,368 [Khlo�] No, I don't. You and Kim look identical. 49 00:01:42,435 --> 00:01:43,636 I look like... 50 00:01:43,703 --> 00:01:45,438 I am adopted. I swear. 51 00:01:45,505 --> 00:01:48,208 You guys, just show me the birth certificates and I'll be fine. 52 00:01:57,684 --> 00:02:00,053 -[Kris] You guys... -I'm gonna go find my real birth parents. 53 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:01,588 I think Khlo� is adopted. 54 00:02:01,654 --> 00:02:03,590 [Khlo�] Give me my... I wanna see my birth certificate. 55 00:02:03,656 --> 00:02:06,860 Okay. She is not adopted. She is just different in every way. 56 00:02:06,926 --> 00:02:07,827 You have a different color hair, 57 00:02:07,894 --> 00:02:09,596 different color eyes, different color skin. 58 00:02:09,662 --> 00:02:10,797 Khlo� needs a DNA test. 59 00:02:10,864 --> 00:02:12,732 -Yes, let's go take a DNA test! -[Kris] No. 60 00:02:12,799 --> 00:02:14,400 Let me take a piece of your hair. 61 00:02:14,467 --> 00:02:17,937 Oh, my God. You're gonna have to get a piece of my hair. 62 00:02:18,004 --> 00:02:20,306 [Khlo�] Get Bruce's, I swear, I'm probably his kid. 63 00:02:20,373 --> 00:02:22,175 -[Kris] I didn't even know Bruce then. -[Khlo�] Ow! 64 00:02:22,242 --> 00:02:24,444 -We have specimen of Khlo�'s hair. -[Khlo�] Kim, that really hurt. 65 00:02:24,511 --> 00:02:25,845 Khlo�, I'm going online... 66 00:02:25,912 --> 00:02:27,747 -[Khlo�] No, we need to get a DNA test. -...to see where I can get... 67 00:02:27,814 --> 00:02:29,115 ...a home DNA test. 68 00:02:29,182 --> 00:02:31,151 -[Khlo�] You guys think I'm joking. -They don't have a home... 69 00:02:31,217 --> 00:02:32,952 This isn't an AIDS test. 70 00:02:33,019 --> 00:02:34,754 -You think they have a home AIDS tests... -[Kris] They don't have a home... 71 00:02:34,821 --> 00:02:37,023 ...but they don't have a home DNA test? 72 00:02:37,357 --> 00:02:39,826 -89 dollars. -[Khlo�] I knew I was adopted. 73 00:02:39,893 --> 00:02:43,263 -I told you from day one. -homedna.com. 74 00:02:43,329 --> 00:02:44,297 [Khlo�] Why would my godmother go, 75 00:02:44,364 --> 00:02:46,366 "When are you going to tell her that she's adopted?" 76 00:02:46,432 --> 00:02:48,368 Why would someone say that if I'm really not adopted? 77 00:02:48,434 --> 00:02:50,270 Are you mental? You really... 78 00:02:50,336 --> 00:02:52,005 You've been saying this since you were five years old. 79 00:02:52,071 --> 00:02:54,440 I just can't believe that I'm really like... 80 00:02:54,507 --> 00:02:56,442 legitimately a part of this family. 81 00:02:56,509 --> 00:02:59,179 I can't believe that I'm legitimately a part of this family. 82 00:03:08,888 --> 00:03:11,057 [Kris] I would like to make a toast to Rob. 83 00:03:11,124 --> 00:03:13,426 Daddy would be very proud of Rob, and I'm proud too. 84 00:03:13,493 --> 00:03:15,261 -Aw, that means so much... -[Kris] Happy Graduation! 85 00:03:15,328 --> 00:03:16,396 ...when you're proud of me. 86 00:03:16,462 --> 00:03:18,932 Rob has just finished the last of his finals, 87 00:03:18,998 --> 00:03:21,167 and our whole family is getting together to celebrate. 88 00:03:21,234 --> 00:03:22,936 Maybe you can, ah, loan me 89 00:03:23,002 --> 00:03:25,371 that Bentley of yours as a little gift, graduation gift. 90 00:03:25,438 --> 00:03:26,906 Not a chance. 91 00:03:26,973 --> 00:03:28,341 -[Khlo� cackles] -[Kris] Do you have anything in mind 92 00:03:28,408 --> 00:03:30,577 that you would want to do when you graduate? 93 00:03:32,845 --> 00:03:34,447 [Kim] If you want cars like Bentleys, honey, 94 00:03:34,514 --> 00:03:36,316 you're gonna have to get a job, pronto. 95 00:03:36,549 --> 00:03:39,819 If you're gonna run around on your friends' private planes 96 00:03:39,886 --> 00:03:42,021 at their hotels in Vegas and bla bla bla, 97 00:03:42,088 --> 00:03:44,657 then, you know, start thinking along those lines. 98 00:03:44,724 --> 00:03:47,026 [Kourtney] Mom, that's nice to do to your son 99 00:03:47,093 --> 00:03:48,728 and put that kind of pressure. 100 00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:50,396 [Rob] Growing up the way I did, 101 00:03:50,463 --> 00:03:52,065 and surrounded by, you know, 102 00:03:52,131 --> 00:03:54,634 my parents' friends and my sisters' friends, 103 00:03:54,701 --> 00:03:56,002 everybody has a lot of money, 104 00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:59,472 so I just have the mindset to make a lot of money 105 00:03:59,539 --> 00:04:00,873 and that's just what I have to do. 106 00:04:00,940 --> 00:04:02,775 If I set up an internship, 107 00:04:02,842 --> 00:04:05,078 like, if I can, I'll ask some of my guy friends, 108 00:04:05,144 --> 00:04:06,512 do you think that's cool? Do you want... 109 00:04:06,579 --> 00:04:08,514 -I would rather get a paid job. -[Kourtney] What else do you think... 110 00:04:08,581 --> 00:04:11,084 I'll get you paid internship. You're not gonna work for free, 111 00:04:11,150 --> 00:04:13,620 you went to college, at USC, business school. 112 00:04:13,686 --> 00:04:15,755 -[Kris] A lot of people go to USC... -That's a vehicle, Mustang. 113 00:04:15,822 --> 00:04:17,924 ...because they have such a great, you know, camaraderie. 114 00:04:17,991 --> 00:04:19,826 Of course she knows a lot about USC, 115 00:04:19,892 --> 00:04:22,862 she boned half the football team and the towel boys. 116 00:04:22,929 --> 00:04:25,198 -[Rob] Wonder... -Okay, very funny. 117 00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:28,968 That's why I don't look like you people. I look like Rob's science teacher. 118 00:04:29,035 --> 00:04:30,203 [Kourtney] Uh, hello. 119 00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:31,604 [laughter] 120 00:04:39,545 --> 00:04:41,447 -[Khlo�] What is this mattress for? -[Kris] Move this... 121 00:04:41,514 --> 00:04:45,251 Somebody sent it to me, I think we should just put on top my bed. 122 00:04:45,318 --> 00:04:48,187 Why don't you just lay it on the floor and you sleep out here for a day? 123 00:04:48,521 --> 00:04:50,123 Why don't you kiss my ass? 124 00:04:50,189 --> 00:04:51,591 What do you want me to do with this? 125 00:04:51,658 --> 00:04:53,960 [Kris] I want you to drag it in the house somehow. 126 00:04:54,727 --> 00:04:56,696 You think I'm like a camel, I could just throw this 127 00:04:56,763 --> 00:04:58,264 on my back and it'll be fine? 128 00:04:58,331 --> 00:05:00,233 [Kris] There's a way... Wait a minute. 129 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:02,702 There's a way. Yeah. 130 00:05:03,002 --> 00:05:04,137 There's a way. Let's just... 131 00:05:04,604 --> 00:05:05,905 -...drag it. -[Khlo�] Wait! Move! 132 00:05:05,972 --> 00:05:08,708 What? Khlo�! 133 00:05:09,108 --> 00:05:11,411 -Just... -Mom, this can't fit through a door. 134 00:05:11,477 --> 00:05:14,080 My mom definitely relies on me more than on Kourtney and Kim. 135 00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:17,750 Like, I'm always the go-to girl and the fix-it girl. 136 00:05:18,051 --> 00:05:20,386 If you do not push I will kill you. 137 00:05:20,453 --> 00:05:21,654 -[Kris] I'm trying, Khlo�. -Push! 138 00:05:23,089 --> 00:05:24,290 [Kris] Thank god for you. 139 00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:26,693 Yeah, that's why you adopted me. 140 00:05:26,759 --> 00:05:28,328 -Free slavery. -[Kris] You're not adopted, Khlo�. 141 00:05:28,394 --> 00:05:30,129 [Khlo�] This is like the craziest thing. 142 00:05:30,196 --> 00:05:31,931 I should DNA test your ass. 143 00:05:32,365 --> 00:05:34,434 Khlo�, my pictures are kind of falling down. 144 00:05:34,667 --> 00:05:36,869 Klo, have a little respect. 145 00:05:36,936 --> 00:05:38,771 [Khlo� grunts] 146 00:05:40,807 --> 00:05:42,275 [Kris] Khlo�, are you okay? 147 00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:43,576 [Khlo�] Mom, suck it! 148 00:05:49,882 --> 00:05:51,384 [Kim] So I just went to XIV Karats with Mom 149 00:05:51,451 --> 00:05:53,453 and I totally found my engagement ring. 150 00:05:53,519 --> 00:05:55,088 [Khlo�] So does that mean you're engaged? 151 00:05:55,154 --> 00:05:56,589 [Kim] No, I'm just saying I found it. 152 00:05:56,656 --> 00:05:58,891 Oh, my God, are you joking? 153 00:05:58,958 --> 00:06:01,894 Oh, God, I have to call this guy for Rob. 154 00:06:01,961 --> 00:06:02,995 [Khlo�] How much is this? 155 00:06:03,062 --> 00:06:04,731 It's like three hundred thousand. 156 00:06:04,797 --> 00:06:06,299 [Kourtney] Hey, how are you? 157 00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:09,635 I actually have a favor to ask you. 158 00:06:09,702 --> 00:06:12,438 My younger brother Rob, I think you've met him before, 159 00:06:12,505 --> 00:06:16,876 he is about to graduate from the USC Business School... 160 00:06:16,943 --> 00:06:20,713 I'm calling my college friend Ben to set up an interview for Rob 161 00:06:20,780 --> 00:06:23,349 so he can see what it's like to work in the real world. 162 00:06:23,416 --> 00:06:25,084 Okay, so this Wednesday? 163 00:06:25,918 --> 00:06:29,589 And then I'll call Rob right now. He'll be so excited. Thank you! 164 00:06:35,661 --> 00:06:37,830 Buying paternity testing. 165 00:06:38,064 --> 00:06:39,232 What are you doing? 166 00:06:39,866 --> 00:06:42,001 I'm just looking at all of these DNA testing. 167 00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:44,504 Khlo�, this isn't even funny. 168 00:06:44,570 --> 00:06:45,405 You've seen the stories, 169 00:06:45,471 --> 00:06:46,973 you've heard them from your grandparents 170 00:06:47,039 --> 00:06:48,474 about the day that you were born... 171 00:06:48,541 --> 00:06:50,009 -No, I haven't. No, I haven't. -And how exciting and... 172 00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:52,378 Everybody thought you were gonna be a boy, but it was a girl. 173 00:06:52,445 --> 00:06:54,514 And then everybody got over it after 15 minutes. 174 00:06:54,580 --> 00:06:56,616 So you guys like were disappointed when I was born? 175 00:06:56,682 --> 00:06:57,517 I was not... 176 00:06:57,583 --> 00:06:59,719 [Khlo�] Is that why you treat me the way you guys treat me? 177 00:06:59,786 --> 00:07:00,820 How do I treat you? 178 00:07:00,887 --> 00:07:03,623 I just get treated differently then how she treats Kourtney and Kim. 179 00:07:04,123 --> 00:07:07,059 When I was ten years old, I would make dinner, 180 00:07:07,126 --> 00:07:09,695 set the table, you could always count on me. 181 00:07:09,762 --> 00:07:13,166 When you're ten, that's not really something you wanna be doing, 182 00:07:13,232 --> 00:07:15,034 and I was doing it for years and years and years. 183 00:07:15,101 --> 00:07:17,069 You're so obsessed with this whole thing 184 00:07:17,136 --> 00:07:19,472 that I think you're gonna be disappointed 185 00:07:19,539 --> 00:07:21,441 -when you really find out. Go do it. -[Khlo�] No, I... 186 00:07:21,507 --> 00:07:22,875 Go do it. Find out that I'm your mom, 187 00:07:22,942 --> 00:07:23,910 and then what are you gonna do? 188 00:07:23,976 --> 00:07:27,213 It's not that big of a deal. If you are, congratulations. 189 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:30,216 You have an amazing child. But if you're not... 190 00:07:30,950 --> 00:07:32,285 -Ta-ta. -[Kris] I'm done. 191 00:07:43,429 --> 00:07:45,865 [Kim] Where the [bleep] is my car? 192 00:07:46,666 --> 00:07:47,733 -I'm sure it's at the shop... -[Kim] No. 193 00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:48,968 ...like it is every day. 194 00:07:49,035 --> 00:07:50,803 [Kim] No, it's not, I just drove it. 195 00:07:50,870 --> 00:07:51,904 Where is Reg? 196 00:07:51,971 --> 00:07:53,840 [Kim] He is out of town, he wouldn't have my car. 197 00:07:53,906 --> 00:07:56,209 Oh, my God, my car is not here. 198 00:07:56,275 --> 00:07:57,910 Kim, I'm sure you left it at someone's house. 199 00:07:57,977 --> 00:07:59,679 Kourtney, I have two parking spaces 200 00:07:59,745 --> 00:08:01,881 -and I left my Bentley at someone's house? -You left it at someone's house. 201 00:08:01,948 --> 00:08:03,449 Who's gonna take your car? 202 00:08:03,516 --> 00:08:05,585 It's a Bentley, who wouldn't take her car? 203 00:08:05,651 --> 00:08:07,119 Are you joking? 204 00:08:14,927 --> 00:08:16,796 Okay, so when did you notice it was missing? 205 00:08:17,196 --> 00:08:18,798 Like 20 minutes ago. 206 00:08:18,865 --> 00:08:20,366 What kind of car was it? 207 00:08:20,433 --> 00:08:22,502 When I get home, I see my Bentley is missing 208 00:08:22,568 --> 00:08:25,471 and immediately I call the police to file a police report. 209 00:08:25,972 --> 00:08:26,906 [Kim] Oh... 210 00:08:28,174 --> 00:08:29,575 [police officer] Is that it? 211 00:08:29,909 --> 00:08:31,410 [Kim] That is my [bleep] little brother. 212 00:08:31,477 --> 00:08:32,945 What are you doing? 213 00:08:33,646 --> 00:08:34,814 -What is going on? -[Kim] What are you doing? 214 00:08:34,881 --> 00:08:37,216 I called the police, I thought my car was stolen. 215 00:08:37,283 --> 00:08:39,285 How did you even get my key? 216 00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:40,920 -I worked hard and I bought... -[engine revving] 217 00:08:40,987 --> 00:08:42,255 Rob, get out of my car. 218 00:08:42,321 --> 00:08:44,624 I can't even believe Rob stole my Bentley. 219 00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:46,826 Kourtney. Khlo�. 220 00:08:46,893 --> 00:08:49,161 -[Kourtney] What? -Rob is out of control. 221 00:08:49,228 --> 00:08:51,397 He had my car this whole time. He was out with my car. 222 00:08:51,631 --> 00:08:52,665 Rob! 223 00:08:52,732 --> 00:08:53,633 -What? What do you want? -[Kourtney] I didn't even hear him... 224 00:08:53,699 --> 00:08:55,334 -...come in. -[Kim] Sit down. 225 00:08:55,401 --> 00:08:56,469 [Rob sighs] 226 00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:58,938 Seriously, what is wrong with you? 227 00:08:59,972 --> 00:09:02,742 Nothing, I took your car for a little joy ride. 228 00:09:02,808 --> 00:09:04,143 You don't think there's anything wrong with that 229 00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:07,079 when I told you no, you're not allowed to? 230 00:09:07,146 --> 00:09:10,216 Ah, I didn't think it was that serious. I've taken Mom's car. 231 00:09:10,283 --> 00:09:11,817 I've taken... I mean, I�ve taken all you guys... 232 00:09:11,884 --> 00:09:14,353 -It's not that big of deal. -I told you, it's not even the car. 233 00:09:14,420 --> 00:09:16,188 -It's just... No. -[Rob] You have all these things... 234 00:09:16,255 --> 00:09:19,592 I think Rob is definitely going through a phase in his life. 235 00:09:19,659 --> 00:09:23,563 He's about to graduate college... it's just a weird time in your life. 236 00:09:23,629 --> 00:09:26,098 -You sound like the biggest spoiled brat. -[Rob] I took your car. 237 00:09:26,165 --> 00:09:27,199 -You're being selfish. -It's not even that. 238 00:09:27,266 --> 00:09:29,402 No, it's not even that. I called the police. 239 00:09:29,468 --> 00:09:31,270 I thought... I thought my car was stolen. 240 00:09:31,337 --> 00:09:34,473 You're right. I need to go to rehab. You guys are right. 241 00:09:36,842 --> 00:09:38,144 Even though Rob stole my car, 242 00:09:38,210 --> 00:09:41,847 he's still my baby brother and I can never stay mad at him. 243 00:09:42,448 --> 00:09:44,550 [Kourtney] I'm a lot fatter than Adrienne. 244 00:09:50,690 --> 00:09:52,325 -[Kourtney] Hey, Rob. -Hey, what's up? 245 00:09:52,825 --> 00:09:55,461 I got your suits, your dry cleaning. 246 00:09:55,695 --> 00:09:56,562 Nice. 247 00:09:56,896 --> 00:09:59,265 I would wear this striped one. 248 00:09:59,332 --> 00:10:02,468 Today is the big day when Rob goes in for his interview, 249 00:10:02,535 --> 00:10:04,804 and I'm just hoping that he gets the internship. 250 00:10:04,870 --> 00:10:07,573 How much money do you think I'll be getting at this job? 251 00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:11,744 It's like a paid internship, I'm sure you'll get a bit more than minimum wage. 252 00:10:11,811 --> 00:10:14,080 -I had a minimum wage job in high school. -[Kourtney] It's a starting job. 253 00:10:14,146 --> 00:10:15,948 -Robert, it's a starting job. -I need to be getting a little more... 254 00:10:16,015 --> 00:10:19,352 You're going for the experience. You can say you have other jobs. 255 00:10:19,418 --> 00:10:22,955 My dad always told me time is money, so you know, 256 00:10:23,022 --> 00:10:25,257 I'm 21 years old. I would love to, you know, 257 00:10:25,324 --> 00:10:27,627 have a couple million dollars by 25. 258 00:10:27,693 --> 00:10:31,197 So I'm not gonna waste my time doing some minimum wage job. 259 00:10:31,263 --> 00:10:32,498 [Kourtney] Okay, call me right when you're done. 260 00:10:32,565 --> 00:10:33,466 [Rob] Alright. 261 00:10:39,505 --> 00:10:42,174 Oh, it's my paternity test. 262 00:10:42,508 --> 00:10:44,844 -What? -No, not like to see if I'm pregnant. 263 00:10:44,910 --> 00:10:47,813 Like, to see if my parents are my parents. 264 00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:51,117 -I don't think Kris Jenner is my mom. -What is wrong with you? 265 00:10:51,217 --> 00:10:53,786 Someone that psychotic cannot be blood related to me. 266 00:10:54,420 --> 00:10:59,025 How it works? Using the enclosed cheek swabs, rub inside... the cheek. 267 00:10:59,091 --> 00:10:59,959 How are you gonna get that? 268 00:11:01,227 --> 00:11:04,463 How the hell am I gonna get a cotton swab into my mom's mouth 269 00:11:04,530 --> 00:11:06,465 without her thinking anything weird? 270 00:11:06,532 --> 00:11:07,667 [Khlo�] What are you eating? 271 00:11:07,733 --> 00:11:10,670 -[girl laughs] -I'm... testing. 272 00:11:13,372 --> 00:11:15,975 [Kris] I just saw Nicollette Sheridan buying these. 273 00:11:16,042 --> 00:11:17,910 So I thought if she can eat 'em... 274 00:11:17,977 --> 00:11:20,146 -[girl laughs] -...I can eat 'em. 275 00:11:21,380 --> 00:11:24,250 -Oh, this is just horrible. -[girl] Spit. 276 00:11:24,316 --> 00:11:26,552 You just bought it 'cause Nicollette Sheridan was eating it? 277 00:11:26,619 --> 00:11:29,455 That's really... celebrity influenced. 278 00:11:30,322 --> 00:11:31,157 Open your mouth. 279 00:11:31,223 --> 00:11:32,491 -[girl] It's that bad? -Why? 280 00:11:32,558 --> 00:11:35,127 I wanna see your caps, I just wanna see how they look like. 281 00:11:35,194 --> 00:11:36,095 Uh-uh. Like that. 282 00:11:38,931 --> 00:11:43,369 [coughs] Khlo�, what are you doing? She is out of her mind. 283 00:11:44,336 --> 00:11:45,438 -[Khlo�] Functional. -[Kris] What was that all about? 284 00:11:46,472 --> 00:11:49,208 -What? -This is my mouth. My mouth. 285 00:11:49,275 --> 00:11:52,244 -Good. -Like, I have boundaries. Warn me. 286 00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:53,746 -[Khlo�] Mom... -Okay? 287 00:11:53,813 --> 00:11:55,614 ...I'm busy getting your drug test results, 288 00:11:55,681 --> 00:11:57,483 I really don't know what you've been up to these days. 289 00:11:57,550 --> 00:11:59,218 -You have the chills? -You've tested me to see 290 00:11:59,285 --> 00:12:00,586 if I'm your real mother. 291 00:12:00,653 --> 00:12:01,721 [Khlo�] How did you know? Who told you? 292 00:12:01,787 --> 00:12:03,756 And if you don't think that I'm your real mother, 293 00:12:03,823 --> 00:12:05,591 then there's something wrong with you. 294 00:12:05,658 --> 00:12:07,693 There definitely is something wrong with me. 295 00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:09,829 -That's already been discovered. -[Kris] Okay, honey. 296 00:12:09,895 --> 00:12:13,566 Get your little test off in the mail, and when you get your results back, 297 00:12:13,632 --> 00:12:15,634 we'll pop a bottle of champagne and celebrate. 298 00:12:15,701 --> 00:12:16,936 -Okay? So get ready. -[Khlo�] Tubular. 299 00:12:17,002 --> 00:12:20,439 It just depends how happy you're gonna be that I'm your real mom. 300 00:12:31,617 --> 00:12:34,220 I'm not a stranger to tattoos, 301 00:12:34,286 --> 00:12:37,123 but I just... I've always been wanting to get another one. 302 00:12:37,189 --> 00:12:38,824 [tattoo pen buzzing] 303 00:12:42,328 --> 00:12:44,363 So how did you settle on this one, out of everything? 304 00:12:45,030 --> 00:12:46,132 [Rob] My dad. 305 00:12:46,899 --> 00:12:48,000 Love him. 306 00:12:48,067 --> 00:12:50,536 I think it's perfect just to do, uh... 307 00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:52,872 do his face right there on my forearm. 308 00:12:53,572 --> 00:12:55,374 [cell phone ringing] 309 00:12:56,675 --> 00:12:57,877 Dude, Kourt's calling. 310 00:12:58,277 --> 00:12:59,111 [Rob] Just ignore her. 311 00:12:59,178 --> 00:13:00,279 -I don't wanna talk... -Ignore her? 312 00:13:00,346 --> 00:13:01,347 Don't pick up. 313 00:13:09,588 --> 00:13:11,323 [Kris] You know, Khlo� came into Smooch today. 314 00:13:11,390 --> 00:13:14,393 -[Bruce] Mm-hmm. -She shoved a swab in my mouth. 315 00:13:14,460 --> 00:13:17,563 -A swab for what? -To get a sample of my DNA. 316 00:13:18,330 --> 00:13:20,833 -[chuckles] My DNA. -[Bruce] To get a s... For what? 317 00:13:20,900 --> 00:13:22,935 Because she wanted to see if I was her real mom. 318 00:13:23,369 --> 00:13:25,671 Honey, Khlo� has a tendency... 319 00:13:25,738 --> 00:13:29,175 to be very dramatic, very over the top. 320 00:13:29,375 --> 00:13:31,911 -I honestly think it's kind of funny. -It's not funny. 321 00:13:31,977 --> 00:13:35,948 It's... She's upset because I treat Kourtney differently than I treat Kim, 322 00:13:36,015 --> 00:13:37,950 than I, you know, treat Khlo�, 323 00:13:38,017 --> 00:13:40,820 -but she's gotta stop the bitterness. -Well, well, well... 324 00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:44,156 -How the hell are you people? -[Bruce] Khlo�... 325 00:13:44,857 --> 00:13:46,492 -Remember the language in my house. -[Khlo�] Okay, psycho. 326 00:13:46,559 --> 00:13:48,160 -I don't want... You know, you can... -[Khlo�] Well, okay. 327 00:13:48,227 --> 00:13:49,495 -Khlo�, the language. -You say it around the kids. 328 00:13:49,562 --> 00:13:51,497 No, I said on my property. 329 00:13:51,564 --> 00:13:53,799 You didn't actually go out and have your DNA done 330 00:13:53,866 --> 00:13:55,201 or were you just kidding about that? 331 00:13:55,267 --> 00:13:56,769 -That's like the stupidest thing... -[Kris] Her DNA?! 332 00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:58,504 -No, I took mom's. -[Kris] She swabbed my mouth. 333 00:13:58,571 --> 00:14:00,573 Now, why are you being like this? 334 00:14:00,639 --> 00:14:02,741 I just wanted to, like, 335 00:14:02,808 --> 00:14:06,879 prove a point, 'cause Mom, like, kisses Kim and Kourtney's ass, 336 00:14:06,946 --> 00:14:10,049 and she makes me, like, always take care of Kendall and Kylie. 337 00:14:10,115 --> 00:14:12,718 "Make this", "Wash these dishes", "Go get me this." 338 00:14:12,785 --> 00:14:14,753 [mockingly] "I need to talk to you about Bruce. 339 00:14:14,820 --> 00:14:18,090 "I'm in need of... My husband and I... I need you. I love him, 340 00:14:18,157 --> 00:14:20,426 -but he won't have sex or like..." -Oh, please. 341 00:14:20,993 --> 00:14:24,930 I think Khlo�'s probably doing this whole "I'm not your child thing", 342 00:14:24,997 --> 00:14:28,267 you know, the whole DNA thing, really, to get Kris' attention. 343 00:14:28,334 --> 00:14:31,503 I don't want to be treated like you guys bought me into this family, 344 00:14:31,570 --> 00:14:34,273 so now you guys could just treat me like a red-headed stepchild. 345 00:14:34,340 --> 00:14:36,575 So you like me better than Mom? 346 00:14:36,642 --> 00:14:40,546 [Khlo�] I mean that's probably not an appropriate question at the time, 347 00:14:40,613 --> 00:14:42,114 since Mom's about to cry. 348 00:14:51,624 --> 00:14:53,792 [Kourtney] Ugh, I am so [bleep] pissed right now. 349 00:14:53,859 --> 00:14:54,927 Why? 350 00:14:54,994 --> 00:14:59,565 Because Rob totally flaked on the internship that I set up for him. 351 00:14:59,632 --> 00:15:01,834 He got a tattoo today of... 352 00:15:02,001 --> 00:15:04,036 -...like this huge thing of Dad and... -[Kourtney] What? 353 00:15:04,103 --> 00:15:05,938 Why would he get more tattoos? 354 00:15:06,005 --> 00:15:08,474 -He has huge tattoos now. -[Khlo�] I have no idea. Call him. 355 00:15:08,540 --> 00:15:13,812 Rob is usually really responsible and usually a really good boy. 356 00:15:13,879 --> 00:15:17,950 So I'm shocked that I hear that he gets this huge tattoo. 357 00:15:18,017 --> 00:15:21,487 He's not answering my phone calls though, but Adrienne and Kim both told me. 358 00:15:29,395 --> 00:15:32,531 Have you seen Rob's tattoos? 359 00:15:32,598 --> 00:15:34,166 He got them all over. 360 00:15:34,233 --> 00:15:35,067 All over. 361 00:15:35,134 --> 00:15:36,402 -What? -[Khlo�] He added another one here. 362 00:15:36,468 --> 00:15:37,536 [Khlo�] This big. 363 00:15:37,603 --> 00:15:39,705 -Both of his arms are full like this. -Now here and here. 364 00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:42,541 -Like he's a... Like he's a... -City of angels? 365 00:15:42,608 --> 00:15:43,575 Wait a minute! 366 00:15:43,642 --> 00:15:44,910 Oh, my God, calm down. 367 00:15:44,977 --> 00:15:46,645 No, no. Calm down? 368 00:15:46,712 --> 00:15:48,948 -That's... Mom, now you're being dramatic. -[Kris] Calm down? 369 00:15:49,014 --> 00:15:52,618 Shut up, Khlo�. You're... Well, you have a son with a [bleep] tattoo 370 00:15:52,685 --> 00:15:54,954 of the size of Alabama on his [bleep] chest, 371 00:15:55,020 --> 00:15:57,790 and then you tell me to calm down? It's not okay! 372 00:15:57,856 --> 00:15:59,325 Okay, drama. 373 00:16:05,264 --> 00:16:08,233 -Am I the only one who hasn't seen it? -No, we haven't seen it. 374 00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:10,402 You guys are going to die. 375 00:16:10,469 --> 00:16:11,904 Seriously? 376 00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:14,673 We need to hold him down and laser that [bleep] of his body. 377 00:16:15,240 --> 00:16:16,308 He likes the portrait. 378 00:16:16,375 --> 00:16:19,611 Okay, but what... Who came up with "city of angels"? 379 00:16:20,279 --> 00:16:21,814 -[Kris] What do you think? -Certainly not me. 380 00:16:21,880 --> 00:16:24,016 -[Kourtney] Is that like a motto of his? -I know nothing about the city of angels. 381 00:16:24,083 --> 00:16:25,451 -[Kourtney] Is that, like, his... -No. 382 00:16:25,517 --> 00:16:27,252 You just don't think of a random slogan... 383 00:16:27,319 --> 00:16:28,954 -...to put on. -No. No, one of those thug guys... 384 00:16:29,021 --> 00:16:31,457 ...in there that Rob wants to be like said it was hot, 385 00:16:31,523 --> 00:16:34,226 -and then Rob... it became hot. -[Khlo�] D-Mac has a tattoo that's like... 386 00:16:34,293 --> 00:16:35,828 And I'm a cornball 'cause I'm just a Cheetah Girl. 387 00:16:35,894 --> 00:16:37,062 [door closes] 388 00:16:38,330 --> 00:16:39,565 -Hey! -[Adrienne] Hey! 389 00:16:41,533 --> 00:16:43,869 Why are you guys all looking at me like... Heh. 390 00:17:01,887 --> 00:17:04,223 [Rob] So why are you guys all looking at me like... Heh. 391 00:17:05,190 --> 00:17:08,227 Well, I'm kind of annoyed with you, personally, 392 00:17:08,293 --> 00:17:11,330 because you like completely just... 393 00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:13,198 -[Kourtney] Tell us. -...ruined your body in my opinion. 394 00:17:13,265 --> 00:17:15,267 Just show us the tattoos. 395 00:17:17,136 --> 00:17:19,004 [Kourtney] Is that coming out of clouds? 396 00:17:19,071 --> 00:17:20,706 [Rob] Yeah. Clouds. 397 00:17:20,773 --> 00:17:23,075 That looks exactly like the picture in the hallway. 398 00:17:24,676 --> 00:17:26,378 [Kris] The hair looks exactly the same. 399 00:17:26,445 --> 00:17:27,646 [making gunshot sound] 400 00:17:28,547 --> 00:17:29,915 [Kourtney] That's weird. 401 00:17:30,716 --> 00:17:33,519 -Wait, let me see the other one. -This one I'm getting... 402 00:17:33,952 --> 00:17:35,320 [Khlo�] What are you getting to it, Rob? 403 00:17:35,721 --> 00:17:36,822 Tell me, what are you doing? 404 00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:38,223 -[Kourtney] Let me just see it. -You don't even know. 405 00:17:38,290 --> 00:17:40,426 -[Kourtney] Let me just see it. -You are so [bleep] stupid. 406 00:17:40,492 --> 00:17:41,360 [Rob] Look at your lower back. 407 00:17:41,427 --> 00:17:44,396 -Rob, I have a cross with angel wings... -Just calm down, Khlo�. 408 00:17:44,463 --> 00:17:45,697 -...and it's small. -[Rob] And what was under it? 409 00:17:45,764 --> 00:17:48,834 -Look at you, "CA, City of Angels"? -[Kourtney] Wait, it's not... 410 00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:52,237 [Kim] I definitely think that Rob getting a tattoo of my dad's face 411 00:17:52,304 --> 00:17:56,008 is definitely some kind of yearning for my dad. 412 00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:59,912 And he's graduating from the school that my dad graduated from. 413 00:17:59,978 --> 00:18:02,081 This is a very difficult time in his life 414 00:18:02,147 --> 00:18:04,650 and I think he really wishes my dad was here for him. 415 00:18:04,716 --> 00:18:05,951 -[Kris] That is embarrassing. -[Kourtney] You can figure out 416 00:18:06,018 --> 00:18:07,719 how to get a job on your own now. 417 00:18:07,786 --> 00:18:10,456 Because I made a phone call for you... 418 00:18:10,522 --> 00:18:11,857 [Khlo�] Rob, you're just [bleep] up. 419 00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:13,992 You're marking your body, all these tattoos? 420 00:18:14,059 --> 00:18:15,060 You do not think it through. 421 00:18:15,127 --> 00:18:16,995 You listen to everybody else cause you're a dumb [bleep]. 422 00:18:17,062 --> 00:18:19,698 -So now you're gonna live with this. -Don't call him a dumb [bleep]. 423 00:18:19,765 --> 00:18:21,200 He has to know that he's a moron. 424 00:18:21,266 --> 00:18:22,267 Don't worry about it. 425 00:18:22,334 --> 00:18:25,070 When I make my first million, you won't be saying [bleep] Khlo�. 426 00:18:25,137 --> 00:18:26,672 -Rob, this is getting out of control. -[Rob] Seriously. 427 00:18:26,738 --> 00:18:27,940 -No, I don't wanna hear you guys... -[Kourtney] Join me in the other room. 428 00:18:28,006 --> 00:18:29,875 -...just yell at me and always trying... -Just come with me in the other room. 429 00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:31,276 -...to put me down. -[Khlo�] You need it! Look at you! 430 00:18:31,343 --> 00:18:32,778 [Khlo�] You're [bleeping] up. 431 00:18:35,414 --> 00:18:37,783 You are totally going about this the wrong way. 432 00:18:37,850 --> 00:18:40,319 You are not making any sense of what you're saying. 433 00:18:40,385 --> 00:18:43,655 You don't earn respect by... Having money is not respect. 434 00:18:43,722 --> 00:18:46,658 How many people do you know that have tons of money 435 00:18:46,725 --> 00:18:48,660 and they're not respectable people? 436 00:18:48,727 --> 00:18:50,529 -[Rob] You guys all drive, like, nice... -Money doesn't earn you respect. 437 00:18:50,596 --> 00:18:52,564 Okay, 'cause we worked hard to do so. 438 00:18:52,631 --> 00:18:57,369 You guys are always out of town and in hotels and all this stuff. 439 00:18:57,436 --> 00:19:00,105 I realize that, like, you're trying to keep up with us, 440 00:19:00,172 --> 00:19:03,075 but you have put in your time too. 441 00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:06,245 You need to start from the bottom just like we did. 442 00:19:08,213 --> 00:19:10,382 I just hope that you remember, like, you know, 443 00:19:10,449 --> 00:19:11,984 where you came from and these... 444 00:19:12,050 --> 00:19:15,721 -I know. -Keep the values that you were taught. 445 00:19:15,787 --> 00:19:18,457 Honestly, like, why did you blow off that interview? 446 00:19:18,524 --> 00:19:22,327 I just didn't wanna go to an interview for an internship. 447 00:19:22,394 --> 00:19:25,097 You should've talked to me about it 'cause that represents me. 448 00:19:27,332 --> 00:19:28,433 [Rob] You know, Kourtney is right. 449 00:19:28,734 --> 00:19:31,503 To succeed in life, you gotta start at the bottom. 450 00:19:31,570 --> 00:19:34,106 You know, that's what she did, that's what Kim did. 451 00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:36,642 And I'm sorry for, you know, blowing it off, 452 00:19:36,708 --> 00:19:39,711 and I'll definitely be willing to do it again. 453 00:19:39,778 --> 00:19:42,614 Maybe we can make up some kind of excuse. 454 00:19:42,681 --> 00:19:45,884 I'm willing ton you know, take that job and work my way up. 455 00:19:45,951 --> 00:19:47,853 Money will come in due time. 456 00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:50,589 -I'll take that internship... -[Kourtney laughs] Okay. 457 00:19:50,656 --> 00:19:51,723 ...if you set it up again. 458 00:20:02,601 --> 00:20:04,069 -Hey, Rob. -Hey there. 459 00:20:04,236 --> 00:20:05,470 -How's it going? -Good, how are you doing? 460 00:20:06,972 --> 00:20:08,774 I'm not gonna be some big shot, 461 00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:10,375 you know, right out of college. 462 00:20:10,442 --> 00:20:12,744 But... eventually. 463 00:20:19,651 --> 00:20:22,354 -[Khlo�] Hi! -[Kris] Hey, Khlo�. 464 00:20:22,788 --> 00:20:26,225 -[chuckles] Guess what I got. -What did you get, Khlo�? 465 00:20:27,125 --> 00:20:28,227 Tests. 466 00:20:28,293 --> 00:20:32,931 -[Kris] Surprise, surprise. -You have no STDs, but you have a child. 467 00:20:33,332 --> 00:20:36,134 -Khlo�, I was there when you were born. -[Khlo�] Stoked, you were? 468 00:20:36,201 --> 00:20:38,503 Yeah. A lot of pain that day. 469 00:20:38,570 --> 00:20:40,906 -[Khlo�] Ooh. -And you're still getting on my nerves. 470 00:20:41,673 --> 00:20:43,342 I love you very much, 471 00:20:43,408 --> 00:20:45,210 and as you guys grow up, 472 00:20:45,277 --> 00:20:47,846 you're gonna end up... We're all gonna have different relationships. 473 00:20:47,913 --> 00:20:50,515 But you've got to stop, 474 00:20:50,582 --> 00:20:52,251 "Khlo�, do the dishes," "Khlo�, watch the kids," 475 00:20:52,317 --> 00:20:54,653 "Khlo�, braid their hair," "Khlo�, go get me ice-cream." "Khlo�..." 476 00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:56,722 Like... what? 477 00:20:57,656 --> 00:21:01,260 I have so much respect for Khlo� and so much love for Khlo�, 478 00:21:01,326 --> 00:21:04,496 and I'm really gonna start treating her a lot different. 479 00:21:04,663 --> 00:21:09,034 Khlo�, I know you're not Cinderella, I never wanna make you feel like that, 480 00:21:09,101 --> 00:21:10,836 and you're the best, honey. 481 00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:15,207 I never like really doubted 482 00:21:15,274 --> 00:21:17,309 -that you were not my mom. -[Kris] You're all happy now, aren't you? 483 00:21:17,376 --> 00:21:19,511 -No, just listen. -[Kris] That little giggle. 484 00:21:19,578 --> 00:21:21,546 You finally feel like you belong, 485 00:21:21,613 --> 00:21:24,182 even tough you're 5'10" and blonde and gorgeous. 486 00:21:24,249 --> 00:21:28,453 But I still love you just the same 'cause everybody knows I do. 487 00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:30,856 Oh, I hate when you get this fake, you seem like 488 00:21:30,922 --> 00:21:32,557 -such a corny baloney. -[Kris] I do. 489 00:21:32,624 --> 00:21:34,693 I do, you little cutie. 490 00:21:35,427 --> 00:21:36,995 Alright, Khlo�, what do you want for dinner? 491 00:21:37,296 --> 00:21:38,830 A Jack and Coke. 492 00:21:41,767 --> 00:21:43,802 [Kris] Next on Keeping Up With the Kardashians... 493 00:21:43,869 --> 00:21:46,171 You're trying to get shit out of me, that's not cool. 494 00:21:46,238 --> 00:21:49,741 Khlo�'s having a really hard time telling me what's wrong. 495 00:21:49,808 --> 00:21:50,709 [Kourtney] She didn't come home last night. 496 00:21:50,776 --> 00:21:52,411 I'm really worried about Khlo�. 497 00:21:52,844 --> 00:21:53,845 Where you going? 498 00:21:53,912 --> 00:21:56,281 I'm gonna run a couple... Just random things I gotta do. 499 00:21:56,348 --> 00:21:58,050 He is cheating on me. 500 00:21:58,116 --> 00:22:00,752 -[woman] What did the girl look like? -[Kourtney] She looked like a nasty whore. 41573

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