All language subtitles for Hogans Heroes S06E24 Rockets or Romance.DVDRip.NonHI.cc.en.CBS.EN

Let's go, let's go!

Put your backs into it!

This is not a picnic!

All right, all right.

My men volunteered
for this detail.

We didn't have to come out here

and help you fill your
bloody shell holes.

This is the thanks we get.

Yeah, never look to
a Kraut for gratitude.

I think you owe us
an apology, Schultz.

Apology?!

An apology!

If you didn't want to work,
why did you volunteer?

We wanted to
practice with shovels.

In case a bomb
hits the guardhouse,

we want to give
you a decent burial.

Major Heintzen,
headquarters, Berlin.

Have these men change
this tire immediately.

Jawohl, Major.

You heard the major.

Well?

What are you waiting for?

Well, for one thing,
you didn't say "please."

Who are you?

Colonel Hogan.

He's the ranking
officer of the prisoners.

In that case, I suggest

you order your men
to change my tire.

We're just here
to fix the road, sir.

If you are smart, Colonel,
you will change the tire.

If you're smart, Major,
you'll call the auto club.

Sergeant!

Jawohl, Major?

If this tire is not
changed in 30 seconds,

somebody will be shot!

I'll change it.

A prisoner will be
shot, Dummkopf!

Jawohl.

Where do you keep your jack?

Under the back seat, Colonel.

Let's do it.

Hey, great,

I haven't changed
a tire in years!

Oh, yeah, bloody marvelous.

Yes, good practice, too,

in case your hearse has a flat.

You shouldn't even
say it as a joke, LeBeau.

Let's go.

Three mobile rocket launchers

have been moved into the area.

Any idea where?

I know the general
location of two of them.

The third one has been moved.

You are to find it
and report to London.

You're not going to do
anything, of course, right?

I used to do this.
How about a little help?

I've heard of
easier assignments.

There is a spotting
shack on top of the hill

overlooking Hammelburg.

One of our agents,
Frankel, is there to help you.

Can't the agent handle it alone?

Unfortunately, Frankel does not
know how to operate a wireless.

Swell.

I would do it myself, Colonel,

but I'm afraid the
Gestapo is following me.

Major, the tire is changed.

Sehr gut, Sergeant, danke schön.

Carter, you didn't
get the windshield.

I don't appreciate
your sarcasm, Colonel.

It's just part of our service.

Major, look us up when
you need a lube job.

Come on, LeBeau!

Everybody back to work!

LeBEAU: Pushy, Schultz.

What did he say, sir?

There's a rocket
launcher in the area

and we've got to find it.

Blimey, that's like trying to
find a needle in a haystack.

Yeah.

We got a break.

Here comes the needle now.

I understand, General.

Huh, certainly, General.

Yes, General.

That was General
Freiberg of the Gestapo.

He said that Hogan's
men changed the flat tire

of a Luftwaffe major.

Actually, Herr
Kommandant, I was the one.

I found the jack, I
jacked up the car,

I unloosened the
bolts, I removed the tire,

and I put on the spare.

That man was with
the underground.

Actually, Herr Kommandant,

LeBeau found the jack,
Carter unloosened the bolts...

Schultz!

Ah, General Burkhalter,

how very nice to see you.

A chair for the
general, Schultz.

Klink, I have an important
assignment for you and your men.

And it's top secret.

I hear nothing!

General Burkhalter,
I assure you,

I run an airtight camp.

Not one word can leak out.

I hope so... this
is very important.

Three moving rocket launchers

have been moved into this area.

What kind of a secret?

There is one parked right
in the middle of the camp.

It's not staying there,
it's where they move it.

That's the secret, Dummkopf!

No, Klink, it's staying here,
that's the secret, Dummkopf.

It's staying here?

Yes, and tomorrow it
will be fired at England

to coincide with
an all-out blitz

by our illustrious Luftwaffe.

KLINK: Marvelous, sir.

And you, Klink, are in
charge of its security.

Uh, we are a little
short-handed right now.

There's not a man
I can spare, sir.

You could spare a man to change
a tire for an underground agent.

You heard about that?

I can explain that, General.

You can release
men for guard duty

by putting the prisoners
to work in the mess hall.

They wouldn't like that.

Who cares what they like?

It's not that simple, General.

I'm sure that Colonel Hogan
will have something to say

about that rocket launcher.

I've got a lot to say.

Klink, tell this man to leave.

Dismissed, Hogan.

General Burkhalter,

according to the
Geneva Convention,

you cannot bring offensive
weapons into a POW camp.

Klink, tell Colonel
Hogan I'm not listening.

Hogan, General Burkhalter says

he does not wish
to discuss it with you.

Tell General Burkhalter I'm
reporting him to the Red Cross.

General Burkhalter,

Hogan says that he's
reporting you to the Red Cross.

If I'm not discussing
this with Colonel Hogan,

why are you?

I don't know.

Then stop talking to him!

Schultz, tell Colonel Hogan

that I do not wish
to discuss it with him.

Colonel Hogan, Colonel
Klink does not wish

to discuss it with you.

Tell Colonel Klink

he's going to be
in as much trouble

as General Burkhalter.

Klink, tell Schultz
to tell Hogan

I'm in no trouble.

Schultz, tell Colonel Hogan

that General Burkhalter
is in no trouble.

Colonel Hogan,
Colonel Klink says...

They're both going
to be in trouble

if they don't get rid of
that rocket launcher.

Klink, tell him he
can't threaten me!

Schultz, tell him he
can't threaten him.

General Burkhalter...

This is my last warning.

I don't take warnings
from prisoners.

Neither do I!

You will this time.

Please!

Wait for me.

Headquarters
says it's imperative

you assign a man
to the lookout shack

so he can radio the position
of the two rocket launchers

to our bombers.

We read you, Mama Bear.

Ask about the rocket launcher
parked outside our window.

What about the rocket
launcher parked in our camp?

You chaps will have to take
care of that one yourselves.

Will do, Mama Bear.

MAMA BEAR: Good show.

Good show!

Good bloody show.

Don't they realize this
is a suicide mission?

That area will be loaded

with radio detector trucks.

He's right, Colonel.

The first message
from that lookout shack

and the Krauts will
pick it up like that.

Yeah, don't forget,

Klink's in charge of
security operations.

That's the only break we got.

I'm afraid that's not
enough, Colonel.

There's only one
man for this job.

Me.

Why you?

Because this mission
requires a man

who's resourceful,
courageous and ingenious.

What I said, "why you?"

Sir, I'll go.

After all, they are
aiming those things

at home, aren't they?

No, I'll take the
assignment, Colonel.

Here, Newkirk, I
want you to have this.

What is it?

My little black book.

If you're ever in Paris,

I'm sure these girls will
show you a good time.

Do me a favor, I
volunteered first.

Here, this is for you.

I'm a very hard act to follow,

but do the best you can.

Fellows, I'll take
the assignment.

But, Colonel, it needs someone

who can operate a wireless.

I can handle it.

But, Colonel, you can't go.

You're the most
important man we have.

If I went and something
happened to me,

nobody would even
know I was gone.

He's got a point there, sir.

It's too dangerous a mission.

Let's draw lots.

No, no, no.

I'll handle it myself.

You fellows will
have to figure a way

to get rid of the
rocket launcher here.

Right, Colonel.

All right then.

Okay.

Newkirk? What?

Just for fun, let me see

who we would have gotten.

Oh, all right.

Hey, this sounds exciting.

"Blonde, 36, 23,"
hey, marvelous!

So does yours.

"Martine Allegre"?

Papa Bear to Goldilocks,
Papa Bear to Goldilocks.

This is Goldilocks.

Go ahead, Papa Bear.

Arrived safely, everything
seems to be in order.

Roger, Papa Bear.

We'll be standing by.

Roger, over and out.

Colonel Hogan?

Frankel?

Lily Frankel.

Hey, look, not that
I've got anything

against the smell of cologne,

but this isn't exactly a
mission for a woman.

Colonel Hogan, I have
faced danger before.

Well, when was the last time

you were alone with a man

who has been a prisoner
of war for three years?

Now, that is what I call danger.

What are you doing?

We've got to get a good
look at that rocket launcher.

Louis, that guard has a
machine gun in his hand.

You mean you're afraid of
a little thing like getting shot?

No, but I just took another look

at me little black book,

and I don't have the right

to ruin the lives

of 127 well-built English girls.

Come on, let's go.

I don't know how many names
you got in your black book,

but that guard is
going to shoot to kill.

We have a legitimate
reason to talk to Schultz.

Here, take this... let's go.

Halt.

What are you doing here?

Since we've been ordered
to cook in the mess hall,

we want to know what the
guards would like for dinner.

Ohh!

Advance immediately.

LeBEAU: How about starting
your meal with a cold Vichyssoise?

Vichyssoise.

Did you hear it, Schwellbacher?

LeBeau is going to
make us a Vichyssoise.

Isn't that wonderful?

What is it?

Potato soup.

You are so gauche.

Oh, I like potato soup.

And then I thought we might
have a nice Salade Nicoise.

Nicoise?

Well, that's with lettuce,
tomatoes, olives, some tuna.

You'll love it.

Oh.

Couldn't we have
some Sauerbraten?

No... no substitutions
on the dinner.

It's a shame, you know.

I had me mind set on
tripe and Brussels sprouts.

LeBEAU: Newkirk.

Now, for dessert
we have a choice:

meringue glacé or pèche Melba.

Meringue glacé or pèche Melba!

Whatever happened to the old
bread puddings Mum used to make?

Decisions, decisions...

What are these men doing here?

We are trying to decide

what kind of dessert
we are going to have.

Dessert?

I can make a meringue
glacé or pèche Melba.

Oh, I vote for pèche Melba.

Klink!

You prefer meringue glacé?

I prefer a court-martial.

Get these prisoners away
from here, immediately.

Jawohl!

Heraus, raus, raus, raus!

Raus!

And keep these
prisoners away from here.

That is an order.

That's an order.

Psst, LeBeau...

I want meringue glacé.

Thought you had them spotted.

We did.

They keep moving them.

Any sign of them yet?

No.

But I wish they would come.

I would like to get out of here.

I imagine you're anxious to
get back to your husband, huh?

I'm not married.

Anxious to get home
to your boyfriend, then.

In this business
I find it is better

not to make close attachments.

That's why I'm single.

There's no one sitting under
the apple tree waiting for me.

Now that we have that
out of the way, we can relax.

Care for some wine?

Thank you.

If we don't spot those rockets,
we could be here for days.

We can't be here too long.

We haven't much food.

I'd risk malnutrition for you.

But you do not even know me.

Well, look at it this way.

Anybody that works
for the underground

and has legs like
yours can't be all bad.

This mission has turned
out very nice for me as well.

Now, if the Krauts
will only cooperate,

we can get to know
each other better.

I wouldn't mind that a bit.

Somebody is sending
you a message.

I'm sending you a message.

I think I've got your message.

Bombers have taken off.

They want the location
of the rocket launchers.

We'd better have another look.

Any sign yet?

No.

Yeah, the bombers won't
be here for a while yet.

Still no rockets, Colonel.

I alerted them to have
an alternate target ready

just in case.

That was a very good... idea.

I've got a lot of good ideas.

I am sure you have.

Goldilocks calling Papa Bear.

Who is Papa Bear?

Come in, Papa Bear.

Me.

I thought you were
the Big Bad Wolf.

Do you read me, Papa Bear?

This is Papa Bear,
go ahead, Goldilocks.

The rocket in camp is heavily
guarded... we can't get near it.

There must be a way.

Only if we toss a grenade at it.

That would blow
the entire operation.

Any suggestions?

Give me time to think about it.

We'll stand by.

Oh, and Goldilocks...

Would you mind
leaving your mike open

and playing some André
Kostelanetz records?

Now, where were we?

There must be a way.

The first thing we've got to do

is stop all these interruptions.

The gyroscope.

What are you talking about?

The rockets are
controlled by gyroscopes.

You want to talk about
gyroscopes at a time like this?

If they could alter
the gyroscope,

it would throw the
rocket off its course.

That's it.

Electromagnet would do it.

If it was close enough.

Next time I hope they
send me a dumb blonde.

Papa Bear calling Goldilocks,
Papa Bear calling Goldilocks.

This is Goldilocks.

I haven't found any
Kostelanetz records.

Would Mantovani do?

Never mind that now.

My partner has come
up with a great idea.

Hold on, be right back.

I've picked up the
underground transmitter.

Go north!

Yes, who is it?

Oh, put him on.

It's General Freiberger
of the Gestapo.

Yes, Herr Freiberger?

Yes?

Yes, sir.

Yes, I shall tell
him immediately.

Thank you, General Freiberger.

One of the radio detector units

has picked up a wireless
sending coded messages.

It must be the underground.

That is exactly what
I was going to say.

They must be sending out

the location of our
rocket launchers.

Exactly what I was
going to say, sir.

Order your men
to search the area.

If they see anybody
suspicious, shoot them.

That is exactly what I
was going to say, General.

Klink, stop agreeing with me.

You are undermining
my confidence.

Hey, listen, you guys...

Yeah, Colonel Hogan has a plan

to take care of the
rocket launchers.

Here's what he wants us to do.

Carter and LeBeau will
have to take care of it.

You come with me, Baker.

W-Where are we going?

A little decoy work, chum.

It's the rocket launcher
coming up the road.

Good.

Wait, there's two of them.

What road is that?

Flensheim.

Approximately three miles
southeast of Hammelburg

and heading for the river.

Colonel Hogan, there's
a radio detector truck

coming from the other direction.

I'm afraid there's nothing
we can do about that now.

The bombers are on the way.

Halt! Back, back, back, back.

I know you're on duty, Schultz,

so I thought I'd come out
and cook dinner for you.

You are going to cook a
dinner just for me, Cockroach?

That's what he's going
to cook you for dinner.

I couldn't find a chicken,

so I'm going to broil you both

a nice steak with a
little sauce béarnaise.

Oh.

I have this always with me.

You never know when
you run into a free meal.

Hey, what are you doing?

Connecting the stove.

Here, Schultz.

Here's the salt,
here's the pepper.

Here are some herbs.

And there's the sauce béarnaise.

Now, Schultz, how do
you want your steak?

Uh, well done, danke.

Figures.

Schwellbacher, come over here.

I show you... here, you see?

This is what they
call sauce béarnaise.

Ah, this is wonderful.

The radio truck has stopped.

It's backing up.

Yeah, I wonder why.

Yeah, they seem to be
heading into the woods.

The wireless is in this area.

Stop!

Over there.

Look at that, Colonel.

Isn't that a beautiful sight?

A direct hit.

Oh, nice shooting.

Oh, you did a wonderful job.

Your directions were perfect.

Well, I couldn't have
done it without you.

It's nice, is it not, when the
mission is accomplished?

Well, we really haven't
accomplished everything.

What else is there?

Colonel Hogan?

Are we glad to see you!

Our timing was perfect, sir.

Let me be the judge of that.

All right, everybody,
back to the barracks...

Back, back, back,
back... Mach schnell.

Schnell!

Uh, Colonel?

I'd like to register
another protest...

I'm not interested in
your protest, Hogan.

Neither am I.

Yesterday two of our
rockets pointed at England

were bombed by your
barbarian air force.

They're liable to bomb this
camp if you don't move that rocket.

I am not afraid.

That's because
you live off the base.

I personally am
going to pull the switch

to send this rocket to England.

General Burkhalter.

Would you allow me the honor?

Of course, Klink.

Thank you.

Klink... England is that way.

General Burkhalter, I can't
understand what happened.

What's that way?

My house, for one thing.

Frankly, General,
I thought it was

a lousy neighborhood, anyway.