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1
00:00:01,034 --> 00:00:03,332
MARY ALICE:
Previously on Desperate Housewives.
2
00:00:03,370 --> 00:00:06,669
Bree's affair with her contractorbroke new ground.
3
00:00:06,706 --> 00:00:07,832
Perhaps I could make you dinner?
4
00:00:07,874 --> 00:00:09,171
Like a date?
5
00:00:09,209 --> 00:00:12,235
I can't wait until I grow up
so I can have beautiful things.
6
00:00:12,312 --> 00:00:15,645
Gabby doted onher biological daughter, Grace.
7
00:00:15,682 --> 00:00:17,877
Look who's missing her big sister.
8
00:00:17,951 --> 00:00:20,351
Lynette had too much on her hands.
9
00:00:20,387 --> 00:00:21,684
Get me a nanny.
10
00:00:22,155 --> 00:00:25,022
Susan found thatkeeping her new job a secret...
11
00:00:25,058 --> 00:00:27,492
My partners are not gonna
eat the cost.
12
00:00:27,527 --> 00:00:29,154
$9,000.
13
00:00:29,195 --> 00:00:31,254
... was going to be expensive.
14
00:00:31,965 --> 00:00:35,264
But her secrethad already been discovered.
15
00:00:41,841 --> 00:00:44,571
Emma Grahamwas an ordinary woman.
16
00:00:45,378 --> 00:00:49,712
And like most ordinary women,she had an extraordinary dream.
17
00:00:50,550 --> 00:00:54,748
She wanted her husband to knowshe was more than just a wife.
18
00:00:56,389 --> 00:01:00,553
She wanted her daughter to knowshe was more than just a mother.
19
00:01:01,694 --> 00:01:03,457
She wanted her neighbors to know
20
00:01:03,530 --> 00:01:07,125
she was more than just the womanwho lived next door.
21
00:01:07,767 --> 00:01:12,932
So Emma made a decisionto turn her dream into reality.
22
00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:15,473
I want to do a cabaret show.
23
00:01:15,542 --> 00:01:17,601
I'll need a band, orchestrations,
and sound equipment.
24
00:01:17,677 --> 00:01:19,645
And you're going to pay
for all of it.
25
00:01:23,583 --> 00:01:27,246
And that is how Emma Graham'sfriends and neighbors
26
00:01:27,287 --> 00:01:31,087
came to gather at theSmokehouse Lounge two weeks later.
27
00:01:31,157 --> 00:01:32,283
(PEOPLE CLAPPING)
28
00:01:36,729 --> 00:01:41,757
They would soon learn Emma Grahamwasrt so ordinary after all.
29
00:01:48,374 --> 00:01:49,636
(SINGING)
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00:02:41,928 --> 00:02:46,695
Yes, Emma's dream of sharingher talent had finally come true.
31
00:02:47,534 --> 00:02:50,560
Unfortunately, the high notethat ended the evening...
32
00:02:50,603 --> 00:02:51,763
(WOMAN SCREAMING)
33
00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:57,806
Did not come from Emma.
34
00:02:57,844 --> 00:02:59,141
I'm going to kill you!
35
00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:00,339
You whore!
36
00:03:00,380 --> 00:03:01,574
Get off me.
37
00:03:01,981 --> 00:03:03,642
Okay, ladies, please.
38
00:03:05,618 --> 00:03:06,642
(GASPING)
39
00:03:06,819 --> 00:03:07,877
Oh, my nose.
40
00:03:08,821 --> 00:03:10,652
My nose. My nose. Oh!
41
00:03:28,474 --> 00:03:31,238
MARY ALICE: She knewwhat she was doing was wrong.
42
00:03:32,912 --> 00:03:35,608
She knew it was very dangerous.
43
00:03:36,583 --> 00:03:39,746
She knew the risksif people found out.
44
00:03:41,487 --> 00:03:46,356
But Susan Delfino was determinedto get back to Wisteria Lane
45
00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:51,456
and that is howher world began to fall apart.
46
00:03:52,265 --> 00:03:54,130
Hi, I'm Tanya.
47
00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:58,064
Thank you for choosing
to spend time with me.
48
00:03:58,104 --> 00:04:00,800
I'm all yours for the next hour.
49
00:04:01,608 --> 00:04:05,100
Now how about we start by getting to
know each other a little better?
50
00:04:05,878 --> 00:04:07,436
Show me yourjugs.
51
00:04:08,014 --> 00:04:09,208
(LAUGHS)
52
00:04:09,682 --> 00:04:12,742
Arert you a frisky little...
53
00:04:12,819 --> 00:04:13,979
Ooh!
54
00:04:14,220 --> 00:04:17,087
I see some dirt
under the coffee table.
55
00:04:17,123 --> 00:04:19,751
Would you like me to vacuum?
56
00:04:19,792 --> 00:04:20,918
Sure.
57
00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:23,258
Right after you take out those totsand shake 'em.
58
00:04:23,296 --> 00:04:25,560
Okay. Slow down.
59
00:04:26,399 --> 00:04:27,889
We've got...
60
00:04:28,768 --> 00:04:31,498
Fifty-nine more minutes together.
61
00:04:31,904 --> 00:04:33,098
And
62
00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:37,668
isn't it sexier to warm each other up
63
00:04:37,744 --> 00:04:41,407
with some naughty talk first?
64
00:04:41,981 --> 00:04:45,473
I have to listen to my old lady'sblah-blah-blah all day long.
65
00:04:45,551 --> 00:04:48,076
Lose the topso I can see those money-makers.
66
00:04:49,222 --> 00:04:51,986
What are you,
reading from a boob thesaurus?
67
00:04:52,258 --> 00:04:53,589
Come on,
68
00:04:53,626 --> 00:04:58,120
isn't there some romantic
fantasy you'd like to share with me?
69
00:04:59,332 --> 00:05:00,526
Okay.
70
00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:03,295
Are you lactating?
71
00:05:03,670 --> 00:05:05,297
Oh! Pig!
72
00:05:06,239 --> 00:05:09,538
You never do that.
You never pull the plug on a session.
73
00:05:09,609 --> 00:05:11,509
The guy was a total perv.
74
00:05:11,577 --> 00:05:14,478
Who clearly had
serious mother issues.
75
00:05:14,514 --> 00:05:16,880
You cost us a major client.
76
00:05:16,949 --> 00:05:20,009
And God forbid
he starts talking about this at work.
77
00:05:20,086 --> 00:05:22,316
We could lose the whole city council.
78
00:05:24,357 --> 00:05:27,292
I'm sorry. I lost my nerve.
79
00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:31,320
Susan, I can't keep giving you
chances like this.
80
00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:33,496
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
81
00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:37,864
Va-Va-Va-Broom.
82
00:05:38,971 --> 00:05:41,235
Oh, you want a private session
with Tanya?
83
00:05:41,808 --> 00:05:43,708
I'm sorry,
that's not going to happen.
84
00:05:43,976 --> 00:05:46,501
She doesn't work for me anymore.
85
00:05:50,883 --> 00:05:53,044
Once again, I am so sorry.
86
00:05:53,119 --> 00:05:56,350
I forgot that French restaurant
was so formal.
87
00:05:58,324 --> 00:06:01,384
Next time I will pick a place
with fewer forks.
88
00:06:01,461 --> 00:06:04,328
Yeah, thanks again
for helping me out with that.
89
00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:06,229
Well, I had a lot of fun.
90
00:06:08,668 --> 00:06:09,760
Good night.
91
00:06:12,238 --> 00:06:13,330
Keith,
92
00:06:14,841 --> 00:06:16,172
did you really have a lot of fun?
93
00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:17,233
Yeah.
94
00:06:17,276 --> 00:06:18,538
Why do you ask?
95
00:06:19,212 --> 00:06:20,873
Well, because it's our third date
96
00:06:20,913 --> 00:06:24,280
and you just kissed me like you were
saying good night to your aunt.
97
00:06:24,717 --> 00:06:26,844
I'm trying to treat you like a lady.
98
00:06:27,620 --> 00:06:30,020
Oh, that's sweet.
99
00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:31,717
Now, knock it off.
100
00:06:37,196 --> 00:06:38,754
Three times?
101
00:06:39,031 --> 00:06:40,089
In one night.
102
00:06:40,166 --> 00:06:43,397
Oh, my God.
Three times was my entire September.
103
00:06:44,537 --> 00:06:47,028
I just had the nicest chat
with Grace.
104
00:06:47,507 --> 00:06:48,701
She said the cutest thing...
105
00:06:48,741 --> 00:06:50,709
Bree had sex three times last night.
106
00:06:51,043 --> 00:06:52,772
Oh, screw my story. Tell me everything.
107
00:06:53,212 --> 00:06:54,440
Okay.
108
00:06:54,747 --> 00:06:57,045
The sex was amazing.
109
00:06:57,383 --> 00:06:59,977
It was like... How to describe it?
110
00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:01,144
(GASPS)
111
00:07:01,187 --> 00:07:02,245
An opera.
112
00:07:02,722 --> 00:07:04,314
You fell asleep during it?
113
00:07:04,757 --> 00:07:07,817
I'm telling you. Making love
to a man in his thirties,
114
00:07:07,894 --> 00:07:11,660
it's like the sun shines brighter,
the grass looks greener,
115
00:07:11,731 --> 00:07:12,789
food tastes better...
116
00:07:12,865 --> 00:07:15,129
Okay, we get it.
You had sex three times.
117
00:07:15,201 --> 00:07:16,259
Three!
118
00:07:17,904 --> 00:07:19,667
Oh! Hey, look, Renee's back
from New York.
119
00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:22,935
Oh, God. You invited her?
120
00:07:22,975 --> 00:07:24,101
What, now you don't like Renee?
121
00:07:24,710 --> 00:07:26,507
I know she's your friend,
122
00:07:26,579 --> 00:07:30,174
but isn't she kind of
a self-absorbed, narcissistic diva?
123
00:07:31,050 --> 00:07:32,915
Good point.
We already have one of those.
124
00:07:35,621 --> 00:07:39,148
Drop the drugstore champagne, ladies,
and make way for the real stuff.
125
00:07:39,225 --> 00:07:40,954
We are celebrating!
126
00:07:41,027 --> 00:07:42,289
What's the occasion?
127
00:07:42,695 --> 00:07:46,062
My divorce settlement.
I just soaked my ex for...
128
00:07:46,432 --> 00:07:48,400
Well, a whole lot of these.
129
00:07:48,434 --> 00:07:49,799
I thought there was a pre-nup.
130
00:07:49,869 --> 00:07:50,995
Yup, there was.
131
00:07:51,070 --> 00:07:52,435
But no pre-nup is a match
132
00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:54,804
for the legal team of Grind'em,
Screw'em, and Rothenberg.
133
00:07:54,874 --> 00:07:57,468
- That was iced tea.
- Well, I just made it fun.
134
00:07:58,311 --> 00:08:00,973
Now, I want to have you all over
for dinner tonight.
135
00:08:01,047 --> 00:08:04,915
I've got two more cases of champagne,
a truck-load of caviar,
136
00:08:04,951 --> 00:08:07,146
and a pile of money
to roll around naked in.
137
00:08:08,387 --> 00:08:09,445
What do you say?
138
00:08:10,289 --> 00:08:12,120
If there's more of this,
I am definitely there.
139
00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:14,016
Great. How about you, Bree?
140
00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:17,288
I wish I could, but I have a date.
I need to carbo-load.
141
00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:19,525
I've got to pass, too.
We still haven't found a nanny,
142
00:08:19,599 --> 00:08:21,430
and so Tom's working late,
so I have to...
143
00:08:21,467 --> 00:08:22,764
Yawn. Susan?
144
00:08:22,802 --> 00:08:26,203
I would, but it's macaroni and coupon
clipping night at my house.
145
00:08:26,272 --> 00:08:27,830
Yawn and sad.
146
00:08:28,407 --> 00:08:31,035
Well, I guess it's just you and me.
147
00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:33,543
"Gabs and Nee."
148
00:08:33,613 --> 00:08:34,978
That is great.
149
00:08:35,014 --> 00:08:38,643
We were just talking about
how much you two have in common.
150
00:08:38,684 --> 00:08:40,481
Werert we, Gabs?
151
00:08:42,855 --> 00:08:45,221
Thanks so much.
Your baby's really cute.
152
00:08:45,291 --> 00:08:47,282
It was nice meeting you.
We'll let you know.
153
00:08:47,326 --> 00:08:48,623
Thanks.
154
00:08:48,928 --> 00:08:51,522
Well, any luck finding a nanny?
155
00:08:51,597 --> 00:08:53,861
No. I've interviewed eight girls,
156
00:08:53,933 --> 00:08:57,232
they were all either
too inexperienced or too expensive.
157
00:08:57,303 --> 00:08:58,361
Hmm.
158
00:08:58,471 --> 00:09:00,336
What about the one with the boobs?
159
00:09:01,707 --> 00:09:03,368
And that's why we're not hiring her.
160
00:09:03,609 --> 00:09:05,167
Well, don't give up yet.
161
00:09:05,211 --> 00:09:08,180
Because I found us
one more applicant.
162
00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:11,547
You did? You took the initiative?
163
00:09:12,018 --> 00:09:13,679
Why you so surprised?
164
00:09:13,986 --> 00:09:16,420
Our Christmas lights are still up
from last year.
165
00:09:16,522 --> 00:09:17,716
(CAR DOOR SLAMS)
166
00:09:17,957 --> 00:09:21,017
And not only is she punctual,
she's early.
167
00:09:21,060 --> 00:09:22,550
Who is it?
168
00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:24,821
Let me put it this way, Lynette.
169
00:09:24,864 --> 00:09:28,027
Remember how
you always used to hate yams?
170
00:09:28,067 --> 00:09:30,331
But then you gave them a second
chance, and they werert so bad.
171
00:09:30,803 --> 00:09:35,240
And over time you realized,
"I like yams. Yams are great."
172
00:09:35,675 --> 00:09:39,372
Well, sometimes, Lynette,
people are like yams.
173
00:09:41,314 --> 00:09:43,043
What did you do?
174
00:09:44,083 --> 00:09:45,277
(GASPS)
175
00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:46,677
Are you insane?
176
00:09:46,719 --> 00:09:48,209
I was talking to her last night,
177
00:09:48,254 --> 00:09:51,018
I mentioned we might need help
and she volunteered.
178
00:09:51,057 --> 00:09:52,183
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
179
00:09:52,224 --> 00:09:53,282
You get it.
180
00:09:58,864 --> 00:09:59,922
Tommy!
181
00:09:59,999 --> 00:10:01,193
Mom!
182
00:10:03,736 --> 00:10:06,296
Why couldn't she have been a yam?
183
00:10:11,043 --> 00:10:12,476
Okay. So this Tina,
184
00:10:12,545 --> 00:10:14,979
was that the first time
he cheated on you?
185
00:10:15,047 --> 00:10:17,948
Ah, I don't know. You hear stories...
186
00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:21,143
There was this thing
during the All-Star game.
187
00:10:21,220 --> 00:10:25,554
Pictures of Doug in the tabloids
with a cocktail waitress.
188
00:10:25,925 --> 00:10:28,052
But then he came back
with a Bulgari bracelet,
189
00:10:28,094 --> 00:10:29,789
so we never talked about it.
190
00:10:30,396 --> 00:10:34,423
God, being married to a pro athlete.
It must be a nightmare.
191
00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:38,403
Well, sounds like
you're well rid of him.
192
00:10:41,974 --> 00:10:44,772
You know,
I feel like you get me, Gabby.
193
00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:47,309
And you know why?
194
00:10:47,380 --> 00:10:50,838
Because we're both
extremely beautiful.
195
00:10:52,918 --> 00:10:55,614
God bless you
for having the courage to say that.
196
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:56,952
Only someone who looks like us
197
00:10:56,989 --> 00:10:59,321
can understand
what a burden it can be.
198
00:11:01,227 --> 00:11:02,785
Actually, it's pretty awesome.
199
00:11:02,862 --> 00:11:03,886
(LAUGHING)
200
00:11:05,097 --> 00:11:07,622
You know, sometimes
I drive fast on purpose
201
00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:10,363
just to see if I can
flirt my way out of the ticket.
202
00:11:10,436 --> 00:11:11,835
Amateur hour.
203
00:11:11,904 --> 00:11:14,668
I got a bank manager
to shave a point off our mortgage
204
00:11:14,740 --> 00:11:16,708
by bending over to pick up a pencil.
205
00:11:16,776 --> 00:11:19,643
To this day Carlos calls it
my million-dollar ass.
206
00:11:20,446 --> 00:11:22,277
Wait, I can top that.
207
00:11:22,648 --> 00:11:26,641
Yesterday, these babies earned me
a cool $8 million.
208
00:11:26,752 --> 00:11:27,810
What do you mean?
209
00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:32,279
Well, I wore a low-cut dress
to my settlement hearing.
210
00:11:32,658 --> 00:11:36,958
And afterwards, Doug's lawyer
came to my hotel to renegotiate.
211
00:11:37,830 --> 00:11:40,355
You slept with him? You're awful.
212
00:11:40,633 --> 00:11:41,895
I know.
213
00:11:43,202 --> 00:11:45,670
Oh, I shouldn't have told you that.
214
00:11:46,172 --> 00:11:47,662
Keep it to yourself.
215
00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:49,800
Honey, I won't tell anyone.
216
00:11:51,010 --> 00:11:52,068
Um.
217
00:11:52,111 --> 00:11:54,170
I don't know you well enough.
218
00:11:54,213 --> 00:11:55,976
You've got to give me
some dirt on you.
219
00:12:01,053 --> 00:12:02,213
Huh.
220
00:12:03,989 --> 00:12:05,854
I can't think of anything.
221
00:12:05,891 --> 00:12:07,256
Really?
222
00:12:07,493 --> 00:12:11,759
Nothing like, say, plastic surgery?
223
00:12:12,131 --> 00:12:13,723
What?
224
00:12:13,799 --> 00:12:17,064
Honey, a scalpel
has never touched this body.
225
00:12:17,136 --> 00:12:20,594
Maybe not the body,
but that nose is a Dr. Brotski.
226
00:12:21,841 --> 00:12:23,331
I'd know his work anywhere.
227
00:12:23,375 --> 00:12:26,867
How dare you! I am insulted!
228
00:12:29,715 --> 00:12:32,548
Okay, fine. I was 19.
It was just a little bump.
229
00:12:32,618 --> 00:12:34,586
(LAUGHS) That's what they all say.
230
00:12:34,653 --> 00:12:36,211
Did you have a deviated septum, too?
231
00:12:36,489 --> 00:12:38,389
Don't tell anyone.
232
00:12:38,424 --> 00:12:39,516
Carlos knows,
233
00:12:39,558 --> 00:12:41,924
but if the girls find out,
I'd never hear the end of it.
234
00:12:42,161 --> 00:12:44,356
Of course, you can trust me.
235
00:12:44,396 --> 00:12:45,727
I'm beautiful.
236
00:12:47,066 --> 00:12:48,590
That's true.
237
00:12:50,402 --> 00:12:52,029
Good morning.
238
00:12:53,873 --> 00:12:56,239
Good morning, sweetheart.
239
00:12:56,675 --> 00:12:57,937
Still not speaking to you.
240
00:12:59,111 --> 00:13:00,578
All right.
241
00:13:01,413 --> 00:13:03,472
Your breakfast will be
ready in a minute.
242
00:13:05,751 --> 00:13:07,981
You want coffee. I'll get it.
243
00:13:10,222 --> 00:13:11,814
Your scrambled eggs are ready.
244
00:13:12,224 --> 00:13:14,658
Oh, Mom, I was hoping
for your French toast.
245
00:13:15,094 --> 00:13:16,925
She made you eggs, Tom. Eat them.
246
00:13:17,530 --> 00:13:18,724
No, it's no problem.
247
00:13:18,764 --> 00:13:21,927
You read your paper
and I'll fix it right up, Rodney.
248
00:13:22,768 --> 00:13:23,826
Tommy, Mom.
249
00:13:24,203 --> 00:13:25,761
Oh, didn't I say that?
250
00:13:25,838 --> 00:13:28,898
Oh, it's just that you look so much
like your father.
251
00:13:28,941 --> 00:13:29,965
(PAIGE CRYING
THROUGH BAB Y MONITOR)
252
00:13:30,042 --> 00:13:32,169
Oh, gosh. What now?
253
00:13:33,379 --> 00:13:36,177
Let me get her,
it's what I'm here for.
254
00:13:37,616 --> 00:13:40,779
Would you look at that?
My mother is on top of it.
255
00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:43,789
And you get to sit and have coffee
256
00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:45,484
with the man
that you kicked three times
257
00:13:45,558 --> 00:13:47,082
"in your sleep" last night.
258
00:13:47,393 --> 00:13:50,191
Look, I can take your mother
in small doses,
259
00:13:50,262 --> 00:13:52,696
but her living here, every day...
260
00:13:52,765 --> 00:13:55,325
I never got what this thing is
you have with her.
261
00:13:55,401 --> 00:13:59,030
You say you love her, she's great
with the kids. What's your beef?
262
00:13:59,104 --> 00:14:00,765
Okay.
You really want to know what it is?
263
00:14:00,806 --> 00:14:02,706
- Yeah.
- Okay.
264
00:14:02,775 --> 00:14:04,800
I can't stand the person
she turns you into.
265
00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:06,471
You become this Neanderthal
266
00:14:06,512 --> 00:14:10,107
while she's tripping
over her apron strings to serve you.
267
00:14:10,149 --> 00:14:12,777
So she likes to dote on me
and I don't mind the attention,
268
00:14:12,818 --> 00:14:13,876
what's the big deal?
269
00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:15,446
False alarm.
270
00:14:15,621 --> 00:14:16,986
She's fine.
271
00:14:17,022 --> 00:14:18,182
Thank you.
272
00:14:18,457 --> 00:14:20,357
And by the way...
273
00:14:20,426 --> 00:14:21,552
- More coffee.
- Yes.
274
00:14:21,627 --> 00:14:23,117
Right away.
275
00:14:24,129 --> 00:14:26,563
Just know if you ever
hold your coffee cup up to me,
276
00:14:26,632 --> 00:14:28,327
you will be tapping it with a stump.
277
00:14:35,841 --> 00:14:37,832
Mike! I was going to call you.
278
00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:39,367
I was talking to Paul Young.
279
00:14:39,445 --> 00:14:42,903
He and the new missus
are really enjoying the house.
280
00:14:42,982 --> 00:14:44,040
- Are they?
- Yeah.
281
00:14:44,116 --> 00:14:47,415
And Paul was wondering if you would
be interested in selling the place.
282
00:14:47,486 --> 00:14:50,512
He's willing to make
a very generous offer.
283
00:14:51,323 --> 00:14:54,815
Lee, I never kicked your ass
for renting our house to that guy
284
00:14:54,860 --> 00:14:56,225
'cause you didn't know our history.
285
00:14:56,629 --> 00:14:57,994
But now you do.
286
00:14:58,163 --> 00:15:00,427
So I've got to wonder,
are you an idiot?
287
00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:03,361
I'm sorry. Paul wanted me to ask.
288
00:15:04,169 --> 00:15:06,501
Susan and I are working really hard
to save money.
289
00:15:06,538 --> 00:15:08,529
You tell Paul
that the day his lease is up,
290
00:15:08,574 --> 00:15:10,439
we're moving home.
291
00:15:11,377 --> 00:15:12,503
(PHONE RINGING)
292
00:15:13,078 --> 00:15:14,136
Hello.
293
00:15:14,179 --> 00:15:16,545
Hey, it's me. I just ran into Mike.
294
00:15:16,815 --> 00:15:18,180
Did you ask him about the house?
295
00:15:18,484 --> 00:15:20,213
Yeah. He wasrt interested.
296
00:15:20,252 --> 00:15:22,914
Did you tell him I'm willing to pay
above market value?
297
00:15:22,988 --> 00:15:25,115
I could have,
but I didn't want to get punched.
298
00:15:25,991 --> 00:15:27,618
You disappoint me, Lee.
299
00:15:27,693 --> 00:15:29,524
There are other houses, Paul.
300
00:15:29,561 --> 00:15:31,859
No, I need this one.
301
00:15:32,665 --> 00:15:35,896
Fortunately, I have another way
to handle this.
302
00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:41,968
Your deposit should clear Monday.
And this will be your balance.
303
00:15:45,544 --> 00:15:47,739
Wait, this isn't right.
304
00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:50,647
We should have
a lot more money in here.
305
00:15:52,618 --> 00:15:55,951
Yes, the silver bracelet
that you cleaned last year
306
00:15:56,021 --> 00:15:58,489
that belonged to my grandmother.
307
00:15:58,857 --> 00:16:01,621
What do you think it's won'th?
308
00:16:04,730 --> 00:16:07,824
Okay. Yeah, I'll come by tomorrow.
309
00:16:14,573 --> 00:16:15,835
Hey.
310
00:16:19,078 --> 00:16:20,477
- Hey.
- Hi.
311
00:16:20,546 --> 00:16:22,411
Here's that gold necklace
you lent me.
312
00:16:22,448 --> 00:16:24,848
What do you need it for?
You guys going on a fancy date?
313
00:16:25,751 --> 00:16:27,309
No, I just...
314
00:16:28,053 --> 00:16:29,816
I just needed it back.
315
00:16:29,888 --> 00:16:30,946
You okay?
316
00:16:31,690 --> 00:16:32,850
Uh-huh.
317
00:16:33,292 --> 00:16:34,759
You want to talk about something?
318
00:16:36,261 --> 00:16:37,592
I can't.
319
00:16:37,896 --> 00:16:39,659
- Oh! Oh!
- (CRYING)
320
00:16:40,966 --> 00:16:43,298
Um, I'm gonna find you a tissue.
321
00:16:50,476 --> 00:16:51,602
Susan, I was just at the bank.
322
00:16:51,643 --> 00:16:54,134
We're missing $9,000
from our checking account.
323
00:16:54,179 --> 00:16:55,612
You went to the bank?
324
00:16:56,115 --> 00:16:58,140
MIKE: What the hell is going on?
Did you take that money out?
325
00:16:58,183 --> 00:16:59,275
Yes...
326
00:17:00,753 --> 00:17:01,879
Susan?
327
00:17:02,755 --> 00:17:04,347
Susan, what happened to that money?
328
00:17:04,423 --> 00:17:06,323
She lent it to me.
329
00:17:07,092 --> 00:17:10,653
We had some bills from Paige's birth
that werert covered by insurance,
330
00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:13,893
and Susan very kindly
offered to help us out.
331
00:17:15,801 --> 00:17:17,325
That's right.
332
00:17:17,369 --> 00:17:20,634
And she's going to pay it back by...
By Friday.
333
00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:21,965
With interest.
334
00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:24,801
Or not.
335
00:17:24,843 --> 00:17:28,973
Because... I mean, we're friends.
So, why would you charge us interest?
336
00:17:33,218 --> 00:17:35,379
I gotta get back to work.
337
00:17:36,321 --> 00:17:39,415
In case any of our other friends
need money.
338
00:17:41,727 --> 00:17:42,785
(EXHALES)
339
00:17:42,828 --> 00:17:43,886
Thank you so much.
340
00:17:43,962 --> 00:17:45,827
You're so welcome.
341
00:17:49,334 --> 00:17:50,699
Anything you want to tell me?
342
00:17:50,969 --> 00:17:52,231
Yeah.
343
00:17:53,038 --> 00:17:55,268
But promise you won't yell.
344
00:17:55,874 --> 00:17:57,842
You did porn on the Internet?
345
00:17:58,177 --> 00:18:01,010
No, it was just cleaning.
In lingerie.
346
00:18:01,713 --> 00:18:04,011
I was never naked. There was no sex.
347
00:18:04,550 --> 00:18:07,417
Well, unless the guys were watching
for cleaning tips, it's porn.
348
00:18:07,486 --> 00:18:09,716
Susan, how could you do this?
349
00:18:09,755 --> 00:18:12,246
Look, I feel bad enough already.
350
00:18:12,491 --> 00:18:15,392
Well, you should.
What if Mike finds out? Or your kids?
351
00:18:15,427 --> 00:18:18,760
Hey! It is really easy for you
to come down here
352
00:18:18,831 --> 00:18:21,891
from your five-bedroom house
in the suburbs and criticize me.
353
00:18:22,401 --> 00:18:24,596
I am not on Wisteria Lane anymore.
354
00:18:24,670 --> 00:18:28,299
Look at what Mike and I
are trying to climb out of.
355
00:18:28,574 --> 00:18:31,042
We can't even afford hot lunches
for MJ at school.
356
00:18:31,076 --> 00:18:33,636
So just think about that
the next time you want to judge me.
357
00:18:40,752 --> 00:18:43,653
Okay. Done judging.
358
00:18:44,389 --> 00:18:46,482
Back to being a friend.
359
00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:50,926
I'm sorry you had to do that.
360
00:18:53,565 --> 00:18:54,964
Me, too.
361
00:18:59,371 --> 00:19:00,565
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
362
00:19:04,743 --> 00:19:05,801
Doug, what are you doing here?
363
00:19:06,445 --> 00:19:07,935
I had to see you.
364
00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:11,340
Well, I'd invite you in,
but it's late and I hate you.
365
00:19:11,817 --> 00:19:15,116
Baby, I flew all this way.
At least hear me out.
366
00:19:18,957 --> 00:19:22,415
If it's about the settlement,
you're wasting your breath.
367
00:19:23,562 --> 00:19:24,620
I miss you.
368
00:19:25,330 --> 00:19:26,922
Well, how does Tina feel about that?
369
00:19:27,132 --> 00:19:29,657
That was a stupid mistake,
and it's over.
370
00:19:31,970 --> 00:19:33,164
I know I screwed up.
371
00:19:33,572 --> 00:19:36,541
Big this time.
But give me another chance.
372
00:19:38,210 --> 00:19:39,302
(SIGHS)
373
00:19:39,611 --> 00:19:42,375
I'm sorry, Doug,
but I'm actually happy here.
374
00:19:43,916 --> 00:19:46,510
I'm getting a fresh start
and making new friends.
375
00:19:46,585 --> 00:19:50,316
Come on, you can't be happy
here in Mayberry.
376
00:19:50,355 --> 00:19:52,789
You were made for Manattan.
377
00:19:52,824 --> 00:19:54,485
By the way, Can'tier called.
378
00:19:56,962 --> 00:19:58,520
They miss you, too.
379
00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:01,029
Oh, Doug, don't do this to me.
380
00:20:01,099 --> 00:20:03,863
Think about everything
we had together.
381
00:20:03,936 --> 00:20:05,563
I want it back.
382
00:20:06,705 --> 00:20:07,865
Don't you?
383
00:20:11,376 --> 00:20:15,073
Oh, I can't stop thinking
about that play.
384
00:20:15,147 --> 00:20:16,876
What do you think
the angel represented
385
00:20:16,949 --> 00:20:20,009
when he flew down
in the middle of the night?
386
00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:22,748
I don't know.
I was too busy looking for the wires.
387
00:20:26,491 --> 00:20:29,517
So, are you in the mood
for some dessert?
388
00:20:29,995 --> 00:20:31,360
Totally.
389
00:20:33,665 --> 00:20:36,862
I think the angel symbolized hope.
390
00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:41,168
Or a second chance
at redemption, perhaps.
391
00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:45,908
Of course, another interpretation,
I suppose, could be...
392
00:20:50,015 --> 00:20:51,346
Oh, my!
393
00:20:52,818 --> 00:20:55,685
When you said dessert,
I just assumed...
394
00:20:57,089 --> 00:21:00,217
Well, there's no two ways
to interpret that.
395
00:21:04,596 --> 00:21:05,654
(GASPS)
396
00:21:05,697 --> 00:21:07,597
That was incredible.
Where did you learn to do that?
397
00:21:07,666 --> 00:21:10,726
And why the hell am I asking?
Don't tell me.
398
00:21:11,770 --> 00:21:14,238
Let's just say you inspire me.
399
00:21:15,807 --> 00:21:17,001
(GASPS) Oh!
400
00:21:19,077 --> 00:21:22,979
Well, that'll teach me to let you
walk behind me up the stairs.
401
00:21:23,048 --> 00:21:24,174
(MOANING)
402
00:21:26,351 --> 00:21:27,943
What is that?
403
00:21:29,554 --> 00:21:32,785
I guess inspiration struck again.
404
00:21:35,727 --> 00:21:36,785
Hi.
405
00:21:38,764 --> 00:21:40,959
Please tell me
you're here to stab me.
406
00:21:41,867 --> 00:21:42,925
What?
407
00:21:43,402 --> 00:21:44,664
Nothing.
408
00:21:44,736 --> 00:21:46,226
Come on in.
409
00:21:56,548 --> 00:21:57,810
What's that?
410
00:21:57,883 --> 00:21:59,111
Crudit�s.
411
00:21:59,785 --> 00:22:01,650
Arert they supposed to be sliced
and peeled?
412
00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:03,415
I'm too tired.
413
00:22:03,955 --> 00:22:05,980
(GASPS) Please get that away from me.
414
00:22:06,792 --> 00:22:09,625
I guess someone
was with Keith last night.
415
00:22:09,661 --> 00:22:12,960
Were you once, twice, three times
not a lady?
416
00:22:12,998 --> 00:22:17,264
It's not funny.
Six hours, we had sex.
417
00:22:17,302 --> 00:22:18,667
I feel like the Holland Tunnel.
418
00:22:18,904 --> 00:22:20,838
Honey, why don't you just tell him
you need a little break?
419
00:22:20,906 --> 00:22:21,964
Because he's young.
420
00:22:22,007 --> 00:22:24,976
If I turn down a roll in the hay,
he's gonna think I'm an old woman.
421
00:22:25,010 --> 00:22:27,171
You just said "roll in the hay."
422
00:22:27,245 --> 00:22:29,042
I think that ship has sailed.
423
00:22:29,114 --> 00:22:30,240
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
424
00:22:30,549 --> 00:22:32,642
Oh, I better figure out how
to slow him down
425
00:22:32,684 --> 00:22:35,653
before this John Wayne walk
becomes permanent.
426
00:22:35,687 --> 00:22:37,154
Coming.
427
00:22:39,291 --> 00:22:40,690
- Hi.
- RENEE: Hey.
428
00:22:40,959 --> 00:22:42,017
Come on in.
429
00:22:42,094 --> 00:22:43,152
Hey, girls.
430
00:22:43,195 --> 00:22:44,355
- Hey.
- Hey.
431
00:22:44,429 --> 00:22:45,487
You are just in time.
432
00:22:45,530 --> 00:22:48,328
I mixed up a signature drink
in honor of your divorce.
433
00:22:48,367 --> 00:22:50,392
I wouldn't pour that just yet.
434
00:22:51,770 --> 00:22:55,171
I'm starting to rethink
this whole divorce thing.
435
00:22:55,474 --> 00:22:56,736
Doug showed up last night.
436
00:22:56,808 --> 00:22:58,241
He flew in from New York?
437
00:22:58,710 --> 00:22:59,904
I know.
438
00:23:00,278 --> 00:23:02,678
He said it's over with Tina.
439
00:23:02,714 --> 00:23:04,341
He wants me back.
440
00:23:04,383 --> 00:23:06,908
And he gave me this.
441
00:23:09,221 --> 00:23:10,347
Oh, Doug screws up a lot,
442
00:23:10,389 --> 00:23:13,881
but his apologies are always
the Fourth of July.
443
00:23:13,959 --> 00:23:17,053
Wow. Tom's apologies
are more like Arbor Day.
444
00:23:17,329 --> 00:23:18,421
But he cheated on you.
445
00:23:18,497 --> 00:23:19,623
Okay.
446
00:23:19,831 --> 00:23:23,824
A guy who has women throwing
themselves at him in every city?
447
00:23:23,869 --> 00:23:26,599
Meanwhile, we had 10 great years.
448
00:23:26,671 --> 00:23:28,298
And he loved me and cared for me
449
00:23:28,340 --> 00:23:30,900
and I think
I should give him another chance.
450
00:23:31,643 --> 00:23:32,735
Am I crazy?
451
00:23:33,678 --> 00:23:36,238
Well, you have invested 10 years
in the marriage.
452
00:23:36,314 --> 00:23:39,181
No one goes that long
without a few bumps in the road.
453
00:23:39,217 --> 00:23:40,775
Okay then, I'm doing it.
454
00:23:41,386 --> 00:23:42,444
Are you insane?
455
00:23:43,255 --> 00:23:44,779
The man dumped you
for another woman!
456
00:23:44,856 --> 00:23:47,256
Well, he apologized.
Can't I forgive him?
457
00:23:47,325 --> 00:23:48,383
GABRIELLE: Why?
458
00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:50,523
Because he gave you a stupid ring?
459
00:23:50,562 --> 00:23:51,927
He's buying you off again.
460
00:23:51,997 --> 00:23:53,362
Open your eyes.
461
00:23:53,398 --> 00:23:54,592
RENEE: Hey.
462
00:23:54,666 --> 00:23:56,759
It's my marriage anyway.
463
00:23:56,835 --> 00:23:59,565
Why don't you just
keep your fake nose out of it?
464
00:24:07,012 --> 00:24:08,138
What does she mean "fake"?
465
00:24:08,213 --> 00:24:10,807
Gabrielle Solis,
did you have a nose job?
466
00:24:11,950 --> 00:24:14,316
Hello? We're talking
about Trampy McTrinket!
467
00:24:15,587 --> 00:24:19,546
After all these years of you bragging
about your natural beauty...
468
00:24:19,591 --> 00:24:21,218
Oh, I never bragged.
469
00:24:21,259 --> 00:24:23,489
You once called your face,
"Proof of God's existence."
470
00:24:23,562 --> 00:24:26,087
You said I was a fraud
for wearing a padded swimsuit.
471
00:24:26,131 --> 00:24:29,794
And now we find out
you've had plastic surgery.
472
00:24:29,901 --> 00:24:32,665
- Ooh! That changes everything.
- Mmm-hmm.
473
00:24:32,737 --> 00:24:34,068
No, it doesn't.
474
00:24:34,105 --> 00:24:35,333
It wasrt plastic surgery.
475
00:24:35,407 --> 00:24:38,774
It was corrective rhinoplasty
for a deviated...
476
00:24:41,046 --> 00:24:42,673
You will regret this.
477
00:24:44,449 --> 00:24:46,679
Oh, Gabby, come on, we're kidding.
478
00:24:47,319 --> 00:24:48,809
Don't get your nose out of joint.
479
00:24:57,128 --> 00:25:00,120
MARY ALICE:
Bree Van De Kamp had a problem.
480
00:25:00,165 --> 00:25:04,693
Her boyfriend's sexual appetitewas proving to be exhausting.
481
00:25:06,171 --> 00:25:09,937
And then out of the blue,Bree came up with a solution.
482
00:25:10,809 --> 00:25:13,676
Since Keith's demandswere overwhelming her,
483
00:25:14,980 --> 00:25:18,780
why not make some overwhelmingdemands of her own?
484
00:25:19,518 --> 00:25:22,043
Wow. There's a lot of work here.
485
00:25:22,320 --> 00:25:24,151
I guess I could get it done
by Friday.
486
00:25:24,689 --> 00:25:26,884
No, I'm going to need it
sooner than that.
487
00:25:26,958 --> 00:25:28,789
Certainly by tonight.
488
00:25:34,132 --> 00:25:35,258
(SIGHS)
489
00:25:37,135 --> 00:25:38,534
LYNETTE: Hey.
490
00:25:38,603 --> 00:25:40,400
Allison made you
your favorite cookies for your trip.
491
00:25:40,472 --> 00:25:41,564
Macaroons?
492
00:25:41,606 --> 00:25:42,732
Oatmeal raisin.
493
00:25:43,208 --> 00:25:44,732
Those are my dad's favorites.
494
00:25:44,809 --> 00:25:48,643
Maybe you can trade them with the boy
next to you on the plane for his snack.
495
00:25:48,947 --> 00:25:52,246
Make fun, but you have to admit,
she's been great with the baby.
496
00:25:52,317 --> 00:25:54,148
She has been great.
497
00:25:54,185 --> 00:25:55,675
You were right, I was wrong.
498
00:25:56,755 --> 00:26:01,715
Oh, if only these were macaroons, this
would be the best day of my life.
499
00:26:02,994 --> 00:26:04,086
Call me when you land.
500
00:26:04,162 --> 00:26:05,220
See you later.
501
00:26:08,733 --> 00:26:09,995
So, can I help with the lasagna?
502
00:26:10,035 --> 00:26:12,503
Actually, the boys said
they wanted meatloaf.
503
00:26:12,537 --> 00:26:13,663
So I switched the menu.
504
00:26:13,705 --> 00:26:14,729
Now sit.
505
00:26:14,773 --> 00:26:15,967
All right.
506
00:26:16,341 --> 00:26:19,504
So, Tom was telling me
about you going back to work.
507
00:26:20,579 --> 00:26:23,241
I must say, I don't understand that.
508
00:26:23,315 --> 00:26:24,839
Well, that's
509
00:26:25,250 --> 00:26:26,342
okay.
510
00:26:29,187 --> 00:26:30,279
Oh!
511
00:26:30,922 --> 00:26:32,014
What are you doing?
512
00:26:32,490 --> 00:26:33,616
I'm out of milk.
513
00:26:33,692 --> 00:26:35,455
Your grandmother is not here
to serve you.
514
00:26:35,527 --> 00:26:36,926
I don't mind, dear.
515
00:26:36,995 --> 00:26:38,394
See? She wants to.
516
00:26:39,364 --> 00:26:40,388
Soda, Gram?
517
00:26:40,432 --> 00:26:41,524
Make it two.
518
00:26:42,033 --> 00:26:43,091
Boys!
519
00:26:43,835 --> 00:26:46,201
Penny, I have to get the meat,
520
00:26:46,237 --> 00:26:47,864
so you get the sodas.
521
00:26:48,373 --> 00:26:49,931
Uh, why?
522
00:26:50,408 --> 00:26:52,706
Why? We have to take care of our men.
523
00:26:54,512 --> 00:26:55,706
Penny, sit.
524
00:26:56,381 --> 00:26:58,645
You boys want a drink,
get up and get it.
525
00:26:58,717 --> 00:27:02,483
They have such a long day. Classes
and then their afterschool sports.
526
00:27:03,021 --> 00:27:06,457
Allison, in this house,
the women don't wait on the men.
527
00:27:06,524 --> 00:27:08,958
The men get off their asses
and help themselves.
528
00:27:09,694 --> 00:27:13,596
When did it become a sin
to take care of your family?
529
00:27:13,632 --> 00:27:15,964
You modern women,
you just plop out a baby
530
00:27:16,034 --> 00:27:18,502
and then you can't wait to get back
to your silly careers.
531
00:27:19,204 --> 00:27:21,434
I took care of my boys.
532
00:27:21,473 --> 00:27:22,838
When my husband came home,
533
00:27:22,907 --> 00:27:25,967
there was a hot meal waiting for him
on the table.
534
00:27:26,044 --> 00:27:28,069
He never wanted for anything.
535
00:27:28,279 --> 00:27:30,008
Yeah and how did that work out
for you?
536
00:27:30,081 --> 00:27:31,446
He had an affair and left.
537
00:27:51,436 --> 00:27:52,835
Damn it.
538
00:27:59,944 --> 00:28:02,811
I didn't realize you were still here. Have
you been working this whole time?
539
00:28:02,847 --> 00:28:05,509
You said to get it all done today.
540
00:28:06,518 --> 00:28:08,645
So if there is nothing else,
541
00:28:08,687 --> 00:28:11,850
I would like to go home
and slip into a coma.
542
00:28:11,923 --> 00:28:14,391
Why don't you spend the night here?
543
00:28:14,459 --> 00:28:18,555
I'd hate to see you out there
driving when you're so exhausted.
544
00:28:18,997 --> 00:28:20,658
You are exhausted, right?
545
00:28:21,332 --> 00:28:22,697
Totally.
546
00:28:22,767 --> 00:28:25,031
Every part of my body hurts.
547
00:28:25,103 --> 00:28:26,730
Then stay.
548
00:28:26,805 --> 00:28:28,238
Sleep here.
549
00:28:30,775 --> 00:28:34,074
In the morning,
I will make you Belgian waffles.
550
00:28:34,145 --> 00:28:38,138
That will be my special thank you
for all of your hard work.
551
00:28:53,364 --> 00:28:54,490
Uh.
552
00:28:54,733 --> 00:28:56,030
What are you doing?
553
00:28:56,067 --> 00:28:58,661
I thought of another way
you could thank me.
554
00:28:58,703 --> 00:29:02,400
You said every part of your body
was sore.
555
00:29:03,007 --> 00:29:04,838
One part's doing okay.
556
00:29:04,876 --> 00:29:06,104
Okay.
557
00:29:08,146 --> 00:29:09,943
- That's it.
- What's wrong?
558
00:29:10,014 --> 00:29:11,072
I can't do it.
559
00:29:11,149 --> 00:29:14,448
I can no longer keep up with you
and your Woody Woodpecker sex drive!
560
00:29:14,519 --> 00:29:15,577
What?
561
00:29:15,653 --> 00:29:16,745
I'm just gonna say it, okay?
562
00:29:16,821 --> 00:29:17,879
I'm older than you.
563
00:29:17,922 --> 00:29:20,117
I don't have your stamina
and I can't keep up.
564
00:29:20,492 --> 00:29:22,585
You? You can't keep up?
565
00:29:23,361 --> 00:29:25,693
I'm dating a woman
who talks to waiters in French
566
00:29:25,730 --> 00:29:28,062
and wants to discuss
a play's symbolism during halftime.
567
00:29:28,099 --> 00:29:29,123
Intermission.
568
00:29:29,167 --> 00:29:30,395
You see?
569
00:29:30,435 --> 00:29:33,097
You're 10 times smarter than me.
That's why I keep sexing you up.
570
00:29:33,171 --> 00:29:35,435
I'm trying to keep you interested.
571
00:29:42,614 --> 00:29:45,811
Make no mistake, I am interested.
572
00:29:46,951 --> 00:29:51,115
I love when I'm prattling on
about the meaning of the angel,
573
00:29:51,189 --> 00:29:53,123
you notice the wires.
574
00:29:53,892 --> 00:29:56,656
You have your own way
of seeing the world,
575
00:29:56,728 --> 00:29:59,288
and it's fun, and down to earth,
576
00:30:00,899 --> 00:30:02,992
and everything I'm not.
577
00:30:09,040 --> 00:30:11,804
So you're saying you like me
how I am?
578
00:30:13,645 --> 00:30:16,773
Wow. I hadrt thought of that.
579
00:30:19,818 --> 00:30:21,080
Yes.
580
00:30:21,452 --> 00:30:22,942
Very much.
581
00:30:25,824 --> 00:30:29,191
Now put that thing away
and let's get some rest.
582
00:30:38,303 --> 00:30:39,463
Hi.
583
00:30:39,504 --> 00:30:40,596
Who are you?
584
00:30:40,638 --> 00:30:42,196
Oh, I'm Jenny.
585
00:30:42,273 --> 00:30:43,331
I'm the new nanny.
586
00:30:43,908 --> 00:30:45,102
Yeah.
587
00:30:45,143 --> 00:30:46,508
Isn't it great?
588
00:30:46,945 --> 00:30:49,209
I offered her a little more money
and she took the job.
589
00:30:51,783 --> 00:30:53,978
She's the one with the boobs,
remember?
590
00:30:54,018 --> 00:30:55,110
Yeah.
591
00:30:55,153 --> 00:30:56,848
You're welcome.
592
00:30:58,823 --> 00:31:00,984
Lynette, can I talk to you upstairs
for a minute?
593
00:31:01,025 --> 00:31:02,322
Okay.
594
00:31:05,763 --> 00:31:06,855
I'll be right up.
595
00:31:07,198 --> 00:31:09,291
Oh. Okay.
596
00:31:15,940 --> 00:31:17,305
So,
597
00:31:17,342 --> 00:31:19,139
great news about Jen, huh?
598
00:31:19,177 --> 00:31:20,576
Yeah.
599
00:31:20,645 --> 00:31:22,010
I just fired her.
600
00:31:22,046 --> 00:31:23,240
What?
601
00:31:23,681 --> 00:31:25,342
You have no right to do that.
602
00:31:25,383 --> 00:31:29,979
And you had no right to make my
mother feel unwelcomed in my house.
603
00:31:30,021 --> 00:31:32,046
She just wanted to be
a part of this family.
604
00:31:32,523 --> 00:31:34,889
Tom, I love your mother
and if this were 1955,
605
00:31:34,959 --> 00:31:37,427
I would be so on board
with her parenting techniques.
606
00:31:37,495 --> 00:31:41,056
But I will not let her raise
our children to turn out like...
607
00:31:41,132 --> 00:31:43,066
Whoa. Finish that sentence.
608
00:31:43,134 --> 00:31:44,328
Turn out like me?
609
00:31:44,369 --> 00:31:46,599
No, no, I didn't say that.
610
00:31:46,671 --> 00:31:49,071
But wait, let's be honest.
611
00:31:49,140 --> 00:31:52,405
When we first met, you thought there
were only two roles for women,
612
00:31:52,477 --> 00:31:54,411
making a cake or jumping out of one.
613
00:31:54,746 --> 00:31:57,112
I'm sorry.
I just don't want her here.
614
00:31:57,181 --> 00:31:59,672
For our entire marriage, you've been
the one who makes the decisions.
615
00:31:59,717 --> 00:32:01,912
"I'm going back to work,"
"I'm hiring a nanny."
616
00:32:01,986 --> 00:32:04,045
This time I'm making the decision.
617
00:32:04,088 --> 00:32:05,715
She stays.
618
00:32:08,426 --> 00:32:09,450
(SCHOOL BELL RINGS)
619
00:32:09,527 --> 00:32:12,894
Okay, boys and girls, gather up
your supplies and put them away.
620
00:32:12,931 --> 00:32:14,023
See you tomorrow.
621
00:32:14,098 --> 00:32:15,190
(PHONE RINGING)
622
00:32:18,269 --> 00:32:20,294
Maxine, I can't talk now.
I'm at work.
623
00:32:20,371 --> 00:32:22,362
MAXINE: Look, I know I fired you.
624
00:32:22,573 --> 00:32:26,065
But if you like, I'm willing
to offer you another chance.
625
00:32:26,711 --> 00:32:27,735
Why?
626
00:32:27,946 --> 00:32:29,436
This guy keeps calling.
627
00:32:29,514 --> 00:32:32,074
He really wants
a private session with you.
628
00:32:32,116 --> 00:32:34,812
And he's starting to offer
some serious money.
629
00:32:35,353 --> 00:32:37,480
Come on, what do you say?
630
00:32:38,957 --> 00:32:41,255
How serious are we talking?
631
00:32:44,062 --> 00:32:45,256
Thank you so much for coming.
632
00:32:45,296 --> 00:32:47,127
I cannot tell you
what it means to me.
633
00:32:47,198 --> 00:32:49,291
Yeah, yeah. Are you gonna be singing
any songs
634
00:32:49,367 --> 00:32:51,892
about a woman
who's a back-stabbing bitch?
635
00:32:51,936 --> 00:32:54,734
We are really looking forward
to it, Emma. Good luck.
636
00:32:54,772 --> 00:32:56,171
Thanks.
637
00:32:56,941 --> 00:32:59,842
Would you get over it already? Why
don't we go sit down with our friends?
638
00:32:59,911 --> 00:33:00,935
No.
639
00:33:01,112 --> 00:33:04,604
I'm sick of Lynette making those
Cyrano de Bergerac jokes,
640
00:33:04,649 --> 00:33:05,741
whoever she was.
641
00:33:05,783 --> 00:33:08,581
He. And, baby,
they are just teasing you.
642
00:33:08,619 --> 00:33:09,745
It's not funny.
643
00:33:09,921 --> 00:33:12,185
My thing was my natural beauty.
644
00:33:12,256 --> 00:33:15,191
Like Susars an artist,
Lynette's a great businesswoman,
645
00:33:15,259 --> 00:33:16,783
Bree's the perfect homemaker.
646
00:33:16,828 --> 00:33:18,523
I was the beautiful one.
647
00:33:18,596 --> 00:33:20,962
Now I'm just the plastic one.
648
00:33:24,502 --> 00:33:27,198
And there's the woman who's to blame.
649
00:33:27,271 --> 00:33:30,638
Man, I would love to smack
that smile right off her face,
650
00:33:30,675 --> 00:33:34,668
which, by the way, has been pulled
so tight it'd probably smack me back.
651
00:33:35,146 --> 00:33:38,513
I forgot what it's like walking
into a room on your arm.
652
00:33:38,583 --> 00:33:39,641
(GIGGLES) I like it.
653
00:33:39,684 --> 00:33:42,881
Baby, I think you are the one
they were staring at.
654
00:33:42,954 --> 00:33:45,218
Well, this doesn't hurt.
655
00:33:50,161 --> 00:33:51,628
Hey, Gabby.
656
00:33:52,130 --> 00:33:54,462
I didn't nose you'd be here.
657
00:33:55,800 --> 00:33:58,064
Okay, I don't know what you heard,
but it's all crap.
658
00:33:58,136 --> 00:34:01,037
Don't lie.
That'll make it grow again.
659
00:34:01,139 --> 00:34:02,367
(BOTH LAUGH)
660
00:34:06,077 --> 00:34:07,135
(SIGHS)
661
00:34:07,178 --> 00:34:08,577
Tell Doug Perry it's on the house.
662
00:34:11,049 --> 00:34:12,141
I'll do it.
663
00:34:23,027 --> 00:34:24,551
It's on the house.
664
00:34:24,629 --> 00:34:27,393
Oh, by the way,
she slept with your lawyer.
665
00:34:27,465 --> 00:34:28,557
Enjoy the show.
666
00:34:34,906 --> 00:34:35,998
Is that true?
667
00:34:36,974 --> 00:34:40,535
Well, the thing about that is...
668
00:34:41,679 --> 00:34:42,941
ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen,
669
00:34:43,081 --> 00:34:46,778
the Smokehouse Loungeis proud to present Emma Graham.
670
00:34:47,318 --> 00:34:48,683
(AUDIENCE CLAPPING)
671
00:34:50,488 --> 00:34:51,682
Whoo! Emma!
672
00:34:55,259 --> 00:34:56,726
A word.
673
00:34:57,061 --> 00:34:59,859
Hey, hey, hey,
get the claws off the Versace!
674
00:34:59,897 --> 00:35:01,364
Why the hell would you tell him that?
675
00:35:01,399 --> 00:35:03,629
Well, you know me and my big nose.
676
00:35:03,701 --> 00:35:05,896
This is my marriage
we're talking about.
677
00:35:05,937 --> 00:35:07,234
This trumps your stupid nose!
678
00:35:07,271 --> 00:35:09,034
Whatever, they're both fake.
679
00:35:09,073 --> 00:35:11,200
What do you know? You're nothing
but a boring housewife...
680
00:35:11,242 --> 00:35:12,300
Shut up!
681
00:35:12,376 --> 00:35:14,742
...whose life is so pathetic
you gotta crap all over mine.
682
00:35:14,946 --> 00:35:16,072
I'm pathetic?
683
00:35:16,114 --> 00:35:19,777
Hey, what do you call a girl who sleeps
with a guy for $8 million?
684
00:35:23,254 --> 00:35:24,414
(SCREAMING)
685
00:35:27,625 --> 00:35:28,717
Get off!
686
00:35:29,861 --> 00:35:31,226
I'm going to kill you!
687
00:35:31,262 --> 00:35:32,422
You whore!
688
00:35:32,897 --> 00:35:34,296
Get off me.
689
00:35:35,867 --> 00:35:37,562
Okay, ladies, please.
690
00:35:39,036 --> 00:35:41,061
I will never forgive you for this.
691
00:35:41,239 --> 00:35:43,833
Sure you will!
I'll just buy you a sapphire ring!
692
00:35:43,908 --> 00:35:45,341
You like my ring?
693
00:35:45,409 --> 00:35:47,172
Get ready to smell it!
694
00:35:47,845 --> 00:35:48,903
(GASPING)
695
00:35:48,946 --> 00:35:50,607
Oh, my nose.
696
00:35:50,915 --> 00:35:52,746
My nose. My nose. Oh!
697
00:35:57,922 --> 00:35:59,321
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
698
00:36:07,598 --> 00:36:09,998
Didrt think I'd hear from you again.
699
00:36:10,635 --> 00:36:13,103
Look, I've been thinking
about everything that's happened.
700
00:36:13,137 --> 00:36:16,300
You slept with someone,
I slept with someone.
701
00:36:17,308 --> 00:36:19,071
Maybe we should just call it even.
702
00:36:20,545 --> 00:36:22,342
- Really?
- Yeah.
703
00:36:22,380 --> 00:36:24,905
I mean, that's what
we both want, right?
704
00:36:47,171 --> 00:36:49,036
Thank you, dear.
705
00:36:53,344 --> 00:36:56,780
I am so sorry for saying those things
about your husband.
706
00:36:57,682 --> 00:36:59,343
I appreciate that.
707
00:36:59,383 --> 00:37:02,750
And I'm sorry
if I crossed some sort of line.
708
00:37:03,321 --> 00:37:04,618
No.
709
00:37:04,689 --> 00:37:07,852
It just felt so nice
to feel useful again.
710
00:37:07,892 --> 00:37:11,225
You are useful,
and I really need you here,
711
00:37:11,262 --> 00:37:13,287
especially when I go back to work.
712
00:37:15,866 --> 00:37:17,265
You know,
713
00:37:17,335 --> 00:37:20,600
the kitchen is my favorite room
in the house.
714
00:37:20,671 --> 00:37:23,401
The family sits together here.
715
00:37:23,441 --> 00:37:26,239
You get to cook for them
and make them happy.
716
00:37:26,277 --> 00:37:27,801
And I just don't understand
717
00:37:27,878 --> 00:37:31,780
why you would ever wanna
give all that up to go out there.
718
00:37:36,854 --> 00:37:38,048
(SIGHS)
719
00:37:38,889 --> 00:37:40,823
It's just who I am.
720
00:37:46,130 --> 00:37:47,392
Mom,
721
00:37:47,598 --> 00:37:48,724
the baby's crying.
722
00:37:48,866 --> 00:37:50,925
Oh! She's probably hungry.
723
00:37:58,376 --> 00:38:00,310
Ooh! Yummy.
724
00:38:03,080 --> 00:38:05,310
I'm so sorry, what's your name again?
725
00:38:06,450 --> 00:38:07,815
I'm Penny.
726
00:38:09,253 --> 00:38:11,244
And do you live here?
727
00:38:20,598 --> 00:38:21,622
Hi.
728
00:38:21,666 --> 00:38:22,724
Hi.
729
00:38:23,668 --> 00:38:25,829
I'm not really used to apologizing.
730
00:38:27,004 --> 00:38:28,335
But here are some chocolates.
731
00:38:28,906 --> 00:38:32,501
I haven't touched a carb since 1985,
but thank you.
732
00:38:33,077 --> 00:38:34,806
Believe it or not,
733
00:38:34,845 --> 00:38:38,679
I was actually on my way over
to apologize to you.
734
00:38:38,749 --> 00:38:41,217
I don't know what came over me.
735
00:38:41,852 --> 00:38:45,481
Look, I still feel you deserve better
than that guy,
736
00:38:45,523 --> 00:38:47,286
but I had no right
to screw with your marriage.
737
00:38:47,325 --> 00:38:48,383
It's your life.
738
00:38:48,826 --> 00:38:50,487
Doug called this morning.
739
00:38:50,528 --> 00:38:52,462
He said he still wants me back.
740
00:38:52,730 --> 00:38:53,856
Oh.
741
00:38:54,265 --> 00:38:55,391
Wow.
742
00:38:55,800 --> 00:38:56,994
And I said no.
743
00:38:58,469 --> 00:38:59,527
Seriously?
744
00:39:00,338 --> 00:39:03,239
He said we could pretend
it never happened.
745
00:39:03,307 --> 00:39:04,433
And I thought of all the things
746
00:39:04,475 --> 00:39:06,340
I pretended
never happened over the years.
747
00:39:07,378 --> 00:39:08,572
You were right, Gabby.
748
00:39:08,646 --> 00:39:10,671
I needed to open my eyes.
749
00:39:12,516 --> 00:39:16,577
Okay, before I take credit for this,
are you sure this is what you want?
750
00:39:16,654 --> 00:39:17,848
Yes.
751
00:39:18,322 --> 00:39:19,584
And thank you.
752
00:39:19,657 --> 00:39:20,715
Out of all the women,
753
00:39:20,791 --> 00:39:23,316
you were the only one who had
the guts to tell me the truth.
754
00:39:24,161 --> 00:39:25,526
You're a real friend.
755
00:39:25,696 --> 00:39:28,665
And I'll take that
over a sapphire ring any day.
756
00:39:29,233 --> 00:39:30,359
Oh!
757
00:39:31,902 --> 00:39:32,994
You're keeping the ring, right?
758
00:39:33,037 --> 00:39:34,197
Oh, hell, yeah.
759
00:39:58,028 --> 00:39:59,359
Hello?
760
00:40:00,931 --> 00:40:02,091
Is anyone there?
761
00:40:06,203 --> 00:40:07,431
Oh!
762
00:40:07,538 --> 00:40:08,698
Hi.
763
00:40:09,407 --> 00:40:10,772
Are you shy, too? (LAUGHS)
764
00:40:11,509 --> 00:40:12,771
Well, that's okay.
765
00:40:12,843 --> 00:40:14,242
So am I.
766
00:40:15,513 --> 00:40:18,971
Why don't you start with
just telling me your name?
767
00:40:20,918 --> 00:40:22,442
I think you know my name.
768
00:40:22,553 --> 00:40:24,282
Oh! Oh! Oh!
769
00:40:24,388 --> 00:40:25,582
(PANTING)
770
00:40:28,125 --> 00:40:29,490
I'm still here, Susan.
771
00:40:46,644 --> 00:40:48,339
I'm glad you put your robe on.
772
00:40:48,412 --> 00:40:50,607
I hate to see you debasing yourself.
773
00:40:53,050 --> 00:40:54,415
What do you want?
774
00:40:55,052 --> 00:40:56,644
I'd like your house.
775
00:40:56,720 --> 00:40:59,280
And I'm willing to paya very fair price for it.
776
00:41:00,257 --> 00:41:01,918
Yeah, Mike told me about that.
777
00:41:02,993 --> 00:41:04,358
It's not for sale.
778
00:41:04,562 --> 00:41:05,586
Susan,
779
00:41:05,930 --> 00:41:08,694
it seems to mea lot of things are for sale.
780
00:41:08,766 --> 00:41:10,131
Your body,
781
00:41:10,167 --> 00:41:11,532
your honor,
782
00:41:11,602 --> 00:41:13,297
your reputation.
783
00:41:13,737 --> 00:41:17,138
The house would seem to bethe smallest of those things.
784
00:41:17,641 --> 00:41:19,268
Are you threatening me?
785
00:41:19,844 --> 00:41:21,436
I'm simply saying it would be
786
00:41:21,779 --> 00:41:25,545
terribly unfortunate if anyone wereto find out what I already know.
787
00:41:26,083 --> 00:41:28,813
I mean, I was shocked.
788
00:41:29,086 --> 00:41:31,987
I can only imagine what your husbandand son would think.
789
00:41:32,957 --> 00:41:34,857
You son of a bitch.
790
00:41:35,826 --> 00:41:38,317
It's a lot to take in, I know.
791
00:41:39,096 --> 00:41:41,826
Why don't you take a couple of daysto think about it?
792
00:41:41,866 --> 00:41:45,393
I'd hate for you to feelthat I was pressuring you.
793
00:41:52,843 --> 00:41:55,505
MARY ALICE: He knewwhat he was doing was wrong.
794
00:41:56,947 --> 00:41:59,643
He knew it was very dangerous.
795
00:42:01,018 --> 00:42:03,987
He knew the risksif people found out.
796
00:42:04,655 --> 00:42:08,819
But Paul Young wanted to punishthose who had betrayed him.
797
00:42:09,693 --> 00:42:14,153
So he had a plan that would setneighbor against neighbor.
798
00:42:14,198 --> 00:42:16,666
And friend against friend.
799
00:42:17,635 --> 00:42:19,262
And it was a plan
800
00:42:19,336 --> 00:42:22,032
that was going to succeed.
57973
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