All language subtitles for Desperate Housewives - 07x01 - Remember Paul

MARY ALICE:
Previously on Desperate Housewives.

Ten years ago, Carlos' mother died
after being hit by a car

that Andrew was driving.

MARY ALICE: Orson packed his bags.

You're not the woman
I thought you were.

He's my son. I have no choice.

And I no longer choose
to be your husband.

MARY ALICE: And Bree decided
to come clean.

There's something I need to tell you.

It's the kind of thing
that could end our friendship.

MARY ALICE: A dying nurse made
a confession.

The people who run this hospital
need to know what I did.

(SIGHING) How do you tell parents
the child they've been raising

isn't really theirs?

MARY ALICE: Financial worries
drove Susan to a big decision.

You can't sell your house.

We're not selling. We're renting.

MARY ALICE: Which led to the return
of a long-lost neighbor.

Truth is, I used to live here.

Well, then I guess everyone
will be surprised to see you again.

They absolutely will.

MARY ALICE: There was a time when
my husband and I were very happy.

I remember warm summer afternoons

and backyard barbecues
and laughter with friends.

Our life was like
some kind of suburban dream.

But the day comes
when we all must wake up.

For me that day came
when a letter arrived.

As threats go,
it was concise and to the point.

I did what I had to
to protect my family.

My husband found out
who wrote the letter.

He let her know
how much this upset him.

Her sister figured out
what my husband had done.

So she decided
to frame him for murder.

Her murder, to be more specific.

And that's when the dream
that was Paul Young's life

became a nightmare.

Years later,
a woman was pulled over for speeding.

(SIREN WAILING)

The woman had no identification,

so she was arrested.

And that is how people learned

that Felicia Tilman
was very much alive.

I see you got the suit I sent over.
You like it?

I like anything that's not orange.

Well, get ready to do
all sorts of shopping.

Your settlement check came in.

So where are you going first?

After all these years in prison,
I bet you're ready to party.

All I want is to go home.

What?
To your old neighborhood?

You sound surprised.

Well, none of your neighbors
supported you during the trial.

They didn't visit
while you were here.

No one would blame you
if you hated them a little.

Oh, I don't hate them

a little.

And so, my husband
returned to Wisteria Lane.

The neighbors
were surprised to see him.

They hadrt thought about
Paul Young in years.

But he had thought about them.

And he was going to make sure
they'd never forget him again.

The phone call that comes
in the middle of the night.

The letter that arrives
by special courier.

The e-mail marked "urgent."

Yes, there are all sorts of ways
bad news can be delivered.

But some news is so bad,

it must be delivered in person.

Why do I have to tell them?

You said this couple
lives in your neighborhood.

Trustees of the hospital feel
that makes you uniquely qualified.

And just what am I supposed to say?
"Great block party.

"By the way, one of our nurses may
have switched your baby at birth.

"Try the dip!"

Every minute we wait, this hospital
takes on more liability.

Now get on over to Wisteria Lane and
tell those people what's going on.

I don't know how I'm gonna do this.

There's only one way
to deliver news like this,

remain as calm as possible.

Bree, get out here!

Damn it! Why is nobody home?

Lorna! Gwen! Oh, thank God.

Hi, Karen? What's wrong?

Paul Young.

He's back.

(GASPS) What?

You heard me! Now don't just
stand there! We gotta warn people.

Come on.

(BREE EXHALES)

Bree, I've never seen you like this.
Are you all right?

I have something horrible to tell you
and I don't know how to say it.

You better think of something,
you're starting to freak me out.

Remember that night when Carlos'
mother was run over by a car?

Well, I know who did it.

You what?

It was Andrew.

Oh, God.

He was only 16.
I was afraid he was gonna go to jail,

so Rex and I decided to cover it up.

Oh, this is... This is bad.
This is really bad.

I need to go throw up a little.

I am so sorry,

and I realize
I should have told you sooner.

No! No, no, no.
You shouldn't have told me at all!

What?

Now I have to tell Carlos
and he's going to kill Andrew

and then he's going to
have to go to prison.

So thank you for sending my husband
to prison, Bree. Nice work!

I just couldn't
live with the secret any longer.

And when Orson found out,
he told me I was a horrible person.

That's why you told me?

Oh, please.
We're all horrible people.

You see this? It's yours.

They delivered it here, I kept it.
Horrible!

Just so you know, Orson was
so disgusted he's divorcing me!

Normally I'd give you a hug,
but right now I sort of don't give a crap!

Again, very sorry.

God, how am I going to tell Carlos?

He is going to be so angry,

and he'll probably find a way
to blame me.

(SOBBING)

(KNOCKING AT DOOR)

You'll never guess who's back.

Mom, we don't have any clean plates.
Didrt you run the dishwasher?

We're also out of milk.
You gotta go to the store.

And the dry cleaners
while you're at it.

Okay, everybody. Look at your hands!

Come on. Mmm-hmm.

Anyone not holding a baby,
you're on your own.

You can wash and shop
and clean for yourselves.

My days of being the perfect mom
are over.

And when were those days, exactly?

It's my uterus that's worn out,
not my hearing.

So you're not going to help
with anything?

'Cause this place
is really starting to go to hell.

Baby number five!

An entire basketball team
has come out of me.

So I am officially
too exhausted to care.

(TELEPHONE RINGING)

You know, the good moms
enjoy doing stuff for their families.

PARKER: Hello.

That's your brother Preston.
He's about to be beaten.

Yes, he is. Yes, he is.

Mom, it's Renee Perry.

Hey, Renee!

Who's Renee Perry?

She's your mom's friend
from college.

She's married to Doug Perry,
who plays for the Yankees!

And she's really rich.

How rich?

Every few years Renee
flies Mom to New York

for a big, fancy weekend.

And Mom always comes back
in a great mood.

So this might be perfect timing.

Damn it to hell. She's coming here!

- When?
- Tomorrow!

Why?

I don't know, but that is something
we can talk about

while we turn this dump
into an actual home!

Okay, people, move, move, move!
Let's go.

Come on. Hey, you, too, Tom.

I'm holding the baby.

Well, spray her with some glass
cleaner and rub her on the windows.

I don't want Renee to know
I live like this.

But, Mama, she's your friend,

won't she like you
no matter how you live?

She's not that kind of friend.

You're never going to believe
who's back.

Here we are. Home sweet

home.

So, what do you think, buddy?

This is where we're gonna live?

Yeah.

So, are we poor?

(MIKE SIGHS)

If you field this one, I'll tell him
where babies come from.

(SUSAN SIGHS)

No, honey. We're not poor.
We're just

lower middle-class.

Poor people wish
they could live like this.

They shouldn't.

Oh! Sweetie, I know
this isn't what we're used to.

Buddy, we're not going to lie to you.

Money is a little tighter than
before, but that's why we're here.

So we can save up
and get back to our house.

And it's not gonna take that long.

Your daddy's taking on extra jobs,
and I'm still teaching.

And I'm going to start selling that
really cool jewelry I've been making.

Oh, God.

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

Sweetie, it's gonna be okay.

And as long as we're together,
we can survive this.

- Hello?
- KAREN: Susan.

Hi, Miss McCluskey. What's up?

You'll never believe this.
Paul Young is back.

What?

(BRAKES SQUEALING)

Where is he?

Where do you think?

He's in the house you rented to him!

I didn't know!
Lee just told me it was a guy.

You didn't even ask for his name?

He paid an advance and he didn't
have pets! I didn't care!

How is Paul even out of jail?

That maniac
was serving a life sentence!

PAUL: Hello, ladies.

If you'd like to come in for a while,
I'll tell you the story.

Come on, now. It's a good one.

Felicia Tilmars alive?

Why are you so surprised? I said that
over and over again at my trial.

Oh, wait. That's right. None of you
could make it to the courthouse.

- Look, Paul...
- It's okay.

You were busy. I get it.

I told myself I'd explain
how I was framed

when you came to visit me in prison.

Oh, wait...

We're so sorry.

In our defense, we thought you were
a cold-blooded killer. (CHUCKLES)

What you endured over the last
10 years, I can't even imagine it.

No, you can't.

But the good news is,

I'm back.

Yeah, about that, um,

why did you want to come back here?

Why do you think?

I missed my friends.

(CHUCKLES)

Innocent or not, that guy
still gives me the creeps.

I can't believe Paul Young
is back on Wisteria Lane.

And he's using my shower.

Jack?

You here for your nine iron?

Damn, I thought if I shaved,
you wouldn't recognize me

and I could keep it.

Actually, I need to talk
to you and your wife.

Hey, Gabby.

In a minute!

You look a little pale, buddy.
Is something wrong?

I think we should wait for Gabby.

Jack, what's going on here, man?
You're making me nervous.

Let's just go inside, huh?

No. This is impossible.

We still have the bracelet they put
around Juanita's ankle in the hospital.

Theresa Pruitt was the nurse
in charge of those bracelets

and, although the hospital
did not know this at the time,

she had a drinking problem.

And eight years later
you're telling me this?

I've spent eight years
loving someone else's daughter?

Again, I want to stress that
the hospital only belatedly...

Jack, I swear to God,
if you go lawyer on me,

I will put your head through a wall!

(CARLOS SIGHS)

So where is our

biological...

God, I don't even know
what to call her.

We haven't been able
to track the family down yet.

Then we're not telling Gabby.

Not until you find this other girl.

Carlos, I have
a legal responsibility here.

- She has to be told.
- Fine. I'll do it.

(SIGHS)

But I don't know how.

This is going to destroy her.

Nope, I was wrong. Preston,
switch back with Parker.

Why are we doing this?

When Renee pulls up to this house,

she's going to see the one thing
I can show off.

My beautiful, beautiful family.

What is that, a pimple?
Get in the back.

Honey, don't you think
you're getting a little carried away?

Tom,
that woman lives in a penthouse,

we had to give up meat
so we could buy a laptop.

Let me have this!

Is that her?

Oh! Of course it is.

Okay, everybody, smile for Mom and
her strange and twisted friendship.

Hi!

I'm back, Rodolfo.

Please tell Signor Cipriani I always
stay at that suite when I visit Venice

and if it's not available,
I will be very unappy.

Now, if you'll excuse me, there's
someone more important

I need to speak with.

Hi!

Hey, Jose. Thanks for holding.
Look, I can't do Thursday. So...

Jose, she'll call you back.

Lynette, you haven't changed.

Neither have you.

Hi, sweetie.

(GASPS)

Oh, no.
Please tell me you didn't dump Tom

for this handsome,
young trophy husband.

It's me, Renee.

I mean, I do work out,
like, three times a week,

so maybe that's what you're...

Oh, okay.

- Are these your kids?
- Yes.

Yes. And here is our latest addition.

Aw!

She's precious!

Look at you all. What a perfect
little suburban picture.

Well, you know, I've been blessed.

Very blessed.

I'm sorry I've got to run, Renee,
but I'm late for work.

Work? And I thought you wore
that sexy tie just for me.

You like it? They say bolder colors
are coming back, so I thought I'd...

Okay.

LYNETTE: Bye.
TOM: Bye.

LYNETTE: I love you.

Oh! I gotta say, Lynette,
this place is adorable.

It's so cozy and intimate and...

Pay attention, kids. You're learning
a lot of new words for "small."

Oh, that's not what I meant.

I hate banging around
my lonely old barn of a house.

Sometimes weeks go by
without me running into a servant.

I'm sure you see them
on whipping day.

Lynette, why so mean?

I worked on these compliments
all the way from the airport.

- Drive slower next time.
- Mom...

It's all right.
We're just old friends reconnecting.

And I'm being sincere.
This is the way to go.

Stripped down to the bare essentials.

You know, more people
should live like this.

(LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY)
Most people do live like this.

When you're flying
in your private jet

and you look down and go, "Wow,
they look like ants down there,"

we're the ants.

So, you have a private jet?

Well, it's not just ours,
we share it with the team.

Wait. So you get to hang out
with the Yankees? That's awesome!

How is Doug, by the way?

Oh, he's fine.

But all that stuff, the team, the jet,
the money, it's like a fantasy world.

This is what I yearn for.

This is real.

This

is

sticky.

So are you staying
in a really fancy hotel?

Well, I came straight
from the airport.

So I haven't booked a hotel yet.

Oh, why don't you stay with us?

Oh, I'm sure Renee wouldn't want to...

I would love to.

Are you sure?
'Cause, you know, five kids,

it gets stickier.

Oh, I don't mind. It'd be fun.

I've got a lot of catching up to do
with my old, old friend.

By the way, I have a doctor who can
get rid of one of those "olds."

All right.

Well, I guess I could set you up
on the sleeper sofa.

A sleeper sofa? Ooh!

Look at me. I'm one of the ants!

Hi, you own the building, right?

I'm Susan Delfino.
My husband Mike and I are in 1 B.

Jiggle the handle. The toilet's fine.

No, no, no. I'm just dropping off
the security deposit.

Sorry it's late.

We've been having
some money problems.

Have you?

Well, I'm Maxine.

Come on in, I'm making some tea.

- Thanks.
- Come on.

That is such a shame
about Mike's business.

And here you are, with no skills,
trying to make ends meet.

Oh, I have skills.

I make my own jewelry. I made this.

Can you believe it?

I really can.

You know, I remember when
my husband Sidney passed away.

His illness took every dime we had.

And I didn't know
what I was going to do.

Well, looks like you did okay.
I mean, you own the building.

Well, that's because I stopped
pouting, I got off my tuchus,

and I started my own business.

And now I'm able to help
other struggling women.

You know, they set their own hours,
they work from their own homes,

and ai-yai-yai, the money!

(LAUGHS)

That sounds like a dream job.

I'll bet you'd be real good at it.

Let me show you.

Are there phones involved?

I've been told
I have an excellent phone voice.

"Hello, can I interest you in a..."

Oh, my God!

It's my Web site!

Va-Va-Va-Broom. Com.

I got a 10-unit Mac Pro server farm

and a 1.5 meg T1 line.

You run a porn site?

You're trying to lure me

into pornography?

Oh, my God, did you
slip something into my tea?

Honey, relax. This is strictly PG.

Women doing housework in lingerie.
No nudity, no sex.

So, what do you say?

What do I say?

I say shame.

Shame on you.

These are nice, respectable girls,
just like you.

Deidre's going to night school
to become a nurse,

and Martha's trying to start over
after a divorce.

Don't they worry about
people they know seeing them?

Most of our clients are overseas.

You know, Europe, Asia.

So if you go to Kuala Lumpur,
wear a hat.

Come on, you said
you had money problems.

Here's what Martha makes in a week.

Hmm.

Whoa!

Woe unto Martha for selling
her dignity to the highest bidder.

I promise, you won't do anything
I wouldn't let my own daughter do!

Look for yourself,
she's on camera three!

What are you looking at?

Just some family photos.

That's you the day you were born.

Daddy?

Who's that?

That's your grandma.

Oh.

I wish I had met her.

You would've loved her.

Do you think about her a lot?

Every day.

She was the light of my life.

And that's why we named you
after her,

because I could not imagine a world
without a Juanita Solis in it.

Hey!

You want me to tuck her in?

No, I'll do it. Come on.

Amy and I want to go
to the mall tomorrow.

Sorry, hon, I have plans.

I could ride my bike.

By yourself? I don't think so.

Why not?

You're too young. That's why not.

You're mean.

Well, sometimes I have to be mean,
'cause it's my job to protect you.

What if you got hit by a bus?

That's not going to happen.

Well, I can't take that chance.
You are my whole world.

If something happened to you,
it would ruin my life.

Do you understand that?

(ORSON SIGHS)

Well, that's the last of it.

I'll put these books in the car.
Pleasure meeting you, Bree.

Nice of your physical therapist
to help with the move.

So, are you gonna be okay?

Let's see, I'm getting a divorce,
I lost my business,

and I'm sitting here trying to
remember why I quit drinking.

I've had better Mondays.

I'm sorry.

Don't be.

It's for the best.

We haven't been happy
for a long time.

You know what you need?

A project.

No. That's what I always do.

Distract myself
with meaningless busywork

as a way of avoiding my emotions.

I think I need to sit quietly

and think about what I'm going to do
with my life.

Well, whatever you do,
I know it will be spectacular.

Goodbye, Bree.

(TELEPHONE RINGING)

Hi, Bree.

I've been thinking about
our conversation last night,

and I just wanted to see
how you were doing.

I'm fine.
In fact, I took your advice.

I found myself a project.

I'm surprised you agreed to see me.

I wanted to spit in your face.
I didn't realize there'd be glass.

That's right,
you're not used to prison.

Give yourself time. What is it now,
two to five years?

Eighteen months with good behavior.

You're giving me a lot of reasons
to be extremely well-behaved.

Maybe I can give you a few pointers
on prison life.

I've become a bit of an expert,
thanks to you.

Hey, here's one,

it never hurts to tip the guard
who does your cavity search.

Listen to me, you son of a bitch,

I don't care what I have to do,

I will see you behind bars again,
or dead.

Whichever is easier.

Here's another pointer,
they always record the conversations,

so be careful about threatening
the man you framed.

You murdered my sister.

(LAUGHS)

That's a crazy,
groundless accusation.

I have to go now. I have things
to do, like shopping,

and walking around in the open air
without a care in the world.

You know you did it.

(MOUTHING) I did.

Wow. They're all so big!

Exactly. Thank you.

You're welcome?

I knew you guys would get it.

Unlike those idiots that walked by
my card table in the park.

It's not jewelry, it's wearable art.

So, who wants to try these earrings?

I'm not sure that my delicate
ears can support something so large.

How about Gabby?
She has big, strong Latino ears.

Lynette, where is this friend of yours?
We're all dying to meet her.

Come on, I need a volunteer. Lynette?

Yes!

Yes.

How's it feel?

About as good as it looks,
I'm guessing. I'll take them.

Yes!

What are you guys getting?

Yeah, I'm gonna buy this for Bree,

and her strong Protestant neck.

You guys are the best.

Oh, hey, here she is! Okay. Susan,
Bree, Gabby,

this is my old college roommate,
Renee.

Hi! It is so nice to finally
meet you.

Lynette has talked so much about
her friend from college.

Oh, yes. You know how in school the
pretty girls always hang out together?

Well, I refused
to go along with that.

(LYNETTE LAUGHS)

Renee comes off a little stuck-up
when you first meet her.

Which is a real time-saver. Sit down.

So, Renee, you have to tell us,
what was Lynette like in college?

Absolutely fearless.

She just kept wearing those parachute
pants, lesbian rumors be damned.

Yes, Renee was always the one
with the fashion sense.

Before I met her, I'd never even
heard of Gucci or Prada or Chlamydia.

Wow, you guys play rough.

No, it's just what we do. It's fun.

I tease her about being all botulism
from the nose up...

And I tease her about being all
cottage cheese from the waist down.

So, Renee, we hear that
you're married to Doug Perry?

The baseball player?

No surprise there.

In our sorority, Renee was voted
"Most Likely to Marry Well."

And Lynette was voted
"Most Likely to Succeed."

So, Bree,
I hear you're an amazing cook.

Hang on a second. What was that?

What?

That...

Oh, nothing. I just didn't wanna
make you feel bad.

About what?

Well, it's just that

I think our college friends would be
surprised to see how you ended up.

(LAUGHING)

Oh, I thought they were still playing.

You know, Renee, I have had a career
and raised a family.

And that's great. It's just that
we had such high hopes for you.

At least I didn't spend the last
15 years sponging off a rich guy.

Hey, let's stop
before somebody gets hurt.

Whatever I got, I got on my own.

And what have you got?

A blouse from the
"I've Stopped Trying" collection

and a pair of earrings
your kid made at camp?

And somebody got hurt.

That's great. Easy shots.
You got more money than me.

It's not about the money.

The Lynette I knew never would've
settled for this.

You were adventurous.
You backpacked through Croatia.

You jumped on stage
at a Springsteen concert.

It's just hard for me to reconcile
this suburban housewife

with the girl who had a threesome

with two of the guys
from the rugby team!

(THUD)

Why would she do this?
Why would she jump in a private jet

and fly all the way across
the country just to dump on my life?

Two guys, huh?

We're not talking about that anymore.

I mean,
isn't her life perfect enough?

Does she really need to score
bonus points by taking me down?

So was it one rugby guy and then
the other, or just sort of a scrum?

Oh, drop it, Tom!

You know, I have shielded you from
some of the wilder things that I've done.

Like that time at the amusement park,

a little story I like to call
"D-cups on the teacups."

Okay, I'm dropping it now.

Thank you.

Why are you getting so upset?

I mean, I thought you and Renee
love to zing each other.

Those werert zings!

When she made that...

(INHALES SHARPLY) "Aw,"
she meant it!

I mean, what the hell was that?

She doesn't get to be disappointed
in my life.

Well, maybe you should tell her
how you feel.

Yeah. You're right. You're right.

In fact, I am going to tell her
a lot more than that.

Good for you.
But when you get back,

I'd like to revisit a certain request
I made on my 40th birthday,

which, in light of recent
revelations, seems a lot more...

Okay.

What's this?

Yellow Pages. "Hotel" is under "H."

Yeah, I had a feeling
I hit a nerve this afternoon.

If you find my life that pathetic,

I'm going to spare you
the agony of observing it.

And by the way, "taxi" is under "T."

Lynette, I don't think
your life is pathetic.

Maybe not. But you clearly think
yours is a whole lot better.

So if you need me to say it,
I'll say it. You win.

You got the fabulous clothes,
the penthouse apartment

and the rich husband.

Congratulations.

Doug is leaving me.

I found out he was cheating

with his agent's assistant.

I confronted him, told him it was
her or me, and he chose her.

I threw some things
in a bag and took off.

I didn't have a plan.
I just needed to get out of there.

And I couldn't think
of anywhere else to go.

Why didn't you tell me this?

What, that my life is about to
fall apart?

I haven't even admitted it to
myself yet.

How could I tell you?

Well, of course you can stay here,
as long as you want.

Thanks.

And to show my appreciation, I would
like to pay for your first face-lift.

That is so generous.

Although, now you've had nine,
you probably get the next one free.

Hey, Carlos. What can I...

I'll make this quick.
I'm gonna give you two options.

Option one, I sue this hospital for,

I don't know, 10, 20 million dollars.
And I think I'll get it.

That would bankrupt us.

Then you're probably gonna
wanna go for option two.

Which is?

You make this whole thing go away.

Shred the documents, call off
the search for the other family.

And never, ever,
let Gabby find out about this.

Carlos, we've sent out letters,
hired investigators.

I don't know if this process
can be stopped.

Try.

And even if it could, this is a hell
of a thing you're taking on,

keeping this secret by yourself.

What's my choice? If Gabby knew
the truth, it would kill her.

No. I can't tell her.

I can't tell him.

Are you sure?

Doesrt he deserve to know what
Andrew did to his mother?

You have to understand.
Carlos is so happy right now.

Our marriage is
the best it's ever been.

He loves his job, the girls are
turning out so beautifully.

Except for this
one, easily ignorable, blip,

our life is perfect.

And I won't let anything change that.

Pork chops for dinner.

I know it was a bit of a splurge,
but I made up for it.

One-ply toilet paper.

Is something wrong?

The bank turned down
my loan application.

Without that money,
I can't hire any help.

And without help, it's just gonna be
one dinky job after another.

We'll never get out of here
like that.

(SIGHS)

Okay. Well, we'll scrimp and save.

I won't buy pork chops anymore.
I'm gonna return these.

I'm thinking about taking a job
in Alaska.

What?

A buddy told me about it.

Six months on an oil rig,
one year at the most.

I can make triple
what I can earn here.

You can probably move back in the
house before I'm even done.

Mike, that is really dangerous work.

MJ needs you here. I need you here.
No, there's gotta be another way.

You think I want to go?
We don't have any good options here.

Give me a month before
you make a decision.

I've just got a feeling that
this jewelry thing of mine

could start pulling in
some serious money.

Sweetheart, you're talented,
but "serious money"?

You'd be surprised what some people
are willing to pay for.

(KNOCKING AT DOOR)

No nudity, no sex.
And no one can ever know.

I am so glad I can help.

So what did you remove this with,
a puma?

I was anxious to get rid of it.

My soon-to-be ex-husband picked out
most of the decor,

and I realized I needed
a fresh start.

You know, wallpaper is nice,
but it's a little...

Well, it's your house, not mine.

No, Keith, please. I hired you.
I want to hear your ideas.

I would suggest that you paint this
room something, you know, bold.

Oh, I like the sound of that.
Perhaps a nice deep beige?

Or bolder.

I mean, with the size of this room
and the light, you could go

scarlet red.

Please don't take this the wrong way,

but I'm going to be serving dinner
in this room, not sailors.

(CAR HORN HONKING)

Could you excuse me for a moment?
I'll be right back.

Here you go.

The final division of assets.

Just need a Jill Hancock from you,
and we're all set.

Before I forget, Andrew's having
a dinner party on the 10th

and he'd love for you to come.
Even though we're separating,

we both want you to feel that
you're still part of the family.

I'm touched. Thank you, Bree.

Orson, don't we have plans?
The wine tasting?

Uh...

Why don't you wait for me in the van?

As you may have gleaned,

my relationship with Judy
has evolved.

Was it evolving while you and I
were still together?

No, no, of course not.

Apparently she had feelings for me,

but she waited a respectable amount
of time before expressing them.

It's been a week!

You know the expression, "The ink's
not even dry"? It's not dry!

We have separated, Bree.

And the two of us spent so many years
being miserable,

I just think at our age,

we can't let an opportunity
for happiness pass us by.

Forget the red. I've got something
here called "moonstruck yellow"

that will kick
your dining room's ass.

Come on. I promise you'll love this.

With your red hair,
you will look so hot in this room.

But, you know, whatever you want.
Clearly, you have other options.

Maybe I do.

There's my favorite realtor.
Thanks for coming over.

How are you?

A bit of a pariah, thanks to you.

Don't tell me the neighbors are
blaming you for my return.

Of course they are.

You know, when you told me that
you didn't have any pets,

you could have mentioned
that it's because

they don't allow them in prison!

Now, now. Be nice. I'm about to throw
some more business your way.

Oh?

I hear that my old house is back
in the market.

I'd like to buy it.

Because of all
the wonderful memories?

Just find out what they're asking.

Okay. But you just signed
a one-year lease on this place,

and you're buying a house
across the street?

That doesn't sound like
a very good plan.

Oh, believe me. I've had 10 years
to work on this plan.

It's a good one.

MARY ALICE: Bad news travels quickly,

and when it arrives, we have to find
a way to deal with it.

If our husbands tell us
they've moved on,

we look for projects to distract us.

If the bills start to stack up,

we find ways to earn extra cash.

If we're told a secret
too terrible to share,

we learn to keep it to ourselves.

But we must remember,
the bad news that's delivered

can sometimes be good news
in disguise.

That the guy you were talking about?

The one that killed your sister?

It certainly is.

He looks like a killer.
It's a shame they let him out.

As it turns out,
it's all for the best.

Paul can now receive the punishment
he's entitled to.

What do you mean?

Just between us girls,

Paul Young will be dead
within six months.

How are you going to
make that happen?

You're in here at least two years.

True. But you see,

Paul Young doesn't have friends
on that street.

I do.