All language subtitles for Bewitched S05E10 Samantha Loses Her Voice

All right, Tabitha. Now listen
to this. She's a very special doll.

My name is Baby
Whisper. Cute, huh?

Did you make her talk, Mommy?

No, sweetheart. Mortals did.
They're catching up with us, Tabitha.

Let me make her talk, Mommy.

Okay. Pull the string.

I'm very, very
hungry. Let's feed her.

We would, but we're
fresh out of doll food.

I'm very sleepy too.

She's right. It's time
for her nap and yours.

I'm not sleepy; she is.

Well, let's put her to bed, and while
we're up there, you lie down next to her.

I'm a big girl now. I
can put myself to bed.

Well, all right. Come on.

But one peep out of either one of
you, and I'm coming right up, okay?

Okay, Mommy.

I like you.

Uncle Arthur, what
are you doing in there?

You turn me on.

You'd better come
out, or I'll turn you off.

How about a kiss, baby?

Do you really want a kiss, or
are you just stringing me along?

Very good, Sammy. You're
learning from your Uncle Arthur.

And, now, let me get
a good look at you.

My. You're putting
on a little weight.

Not very nice, Sammy. I
laughed at your joke, bad as it was.

Anyway, I'm really
here to see Tabitha.

I brought the little
princess a birthday present.

- But it's not her birthday.
- I know.

It's his.

Oh, Uncle Arthur.

He's adorable!

- Where'd you get him?
- In a thunderstorm.

It was rainin' cats and dogs.

And you stepped in a poodle!

Not bad, Sammy. It'd have
been funnier if I'd said it.

- I hope he's trained.
- Only to kill.

Oh, hi, Louise. What
a pleasant surprise.

Pleasant? My whole world is
crumbling. I'm crushed, destroyed.

I guess "pleasant" wasn't
exactly the right word.

May I come in for a
while? I want to talk to you.

Of course.

Thank you, Samantha.
You're my only friend.

You may not believe this, Samantha. It's
gonna come as quite a shock to you, but...

Oh... Oh, I didn't know
you had company.

Louise, you know my Uncle
Arthur. Of course. How are you?

Hi. Excuse me for not getting
up, but my feet are killing me.

Oh, how nice.

There's still some humor left
in this world. Even if it's bad.

Fortunately, I didn't hear
that. Where's my fella?

Now, Louise, you
just come right in here.

Sit down, take off your shoes,
relax and tell me all about it.

It's nothing really. It's just that my
marriage to Larry has come to an end.

I mean it, Samantha.

I never wanna see Larry
again as long as I live.

Well, I've heard all
about that, Louise.

What you haven't told
me is what started all this.

A volleyball game.

A volleyball game?

Yesterday, we went to the
beach to visit some friends,

and we decided
to play volleyball.

Well, Larry was a captain,
and he picked his side.

So? Don't you
understand, Samantha?

My own husband didn't pick me!

Louise, volleyball is not
grounds for divorce in this state.

Larry, it's your fault. Why didn't you
pick her for your team in the first place?

Because I wanted to
win. That's no reason.

Oh, no? Have you ever
seen Louise play volleyball?

Her best shot is ducking.
Larry, you don't understand.

To a wife, it's not how she
plays the game; it's who picks her.

Sure. Sure. Now you've
got all the answers.

But where were you
when we chose up sides?

Oh, Samantha, do you mind
if I go upstairs and lie down?

That's a good idea, Louise.

You rest a while,
and we'll talk later.

You stay right there, fella.

Sammy, I've got to go. I don't
wanna be late for the ostrich derby.

I'm ridin' the favorite.
Now make up your mind.

Are you gonna keep the puppy
I brought for Tabitha or not?

That's not an easy
question, Uncle Arthur.

A dog is a big responsibility,
for the whole family.

Personally, I'd love to keep
him, but I can't speak for Darrin.

- Of course you can.
- No. You see,
you don't understand.

That's the way it is with Darrin and
me. We respect each other's wishes.

Darrin can't speak for me...

and I can't...
speak... for Darrin.

Go on, Sammy. Tell me
again you can't speak for Darrin.

Uncle Arthur, it's not funny!

It's just a little practical joke. What's
happened to your sense of humor?

It's gone, with my
voice! Now put it back!

Oh, all right, all right, Sammy.
Don't get all steamed up.

Your voice is back. Go
ahead. Speak, killjoy.

Uncle Arthur, your id...

Idea of joy is my
idea of a double cross.

Honest, Sammy, I meant to
put your voice back, and I will...

if I can find it.

Oh!

Another double.

Come on, Larry. Another
double isn't going to help anybody.

'Cept the bartender.
Look at the tab I've run up.

You should be out right
now... looking for... Louise.

What the devil
happened to your voice?

I, uh... I think I have
a frog in my throat.

Yeah. A girl frog. I'll
see you later, Larry.

Uncle Arthur, you've done some
pretty dumb things in your time,

but this takes the cake.

I'm sorry, Sammy. If you want
me to concentrate, don't talk.

You break me up.

I'm sorry, Samantha.
Honest. I'm trying.

I just can't figure out
where your voice went.

- Sam? Sam?
- Oh. There it is.

You!

That explains everything.
Look what he's done to me.

Samantha, say something.

Yes. Yes, Sammy. Say something.

Come on, Sam!

Let's not make a big
thing out of this, Darrin.

But it figures. If you've got Sammy's
voice, she'd naturally have yours.

You've got mine?

I'm afraid so, sweetheart.

You're not an
uncle; you're an ogre.

What are you so excited about? I
think this speaks well of your marriage.

What's yours is hers,
and what's hers is yours.

Look, I may have Sam's
voice, but I still have my own fist.

You wave that fist
at me once more,

and I'll bronze it
right on your wrist.

Darrin, uh, sweetheart.
Uncle Arthur,

it was a very funny joke,
and we all enjoyed it.

Didn't we, sweetheart?

Yeah. Ha, ha, ha-ha.

All right. Let's
break the spell.

Screech, hoot owls.
Toot, ferryboats.

Hold it.

Is it ferryboats or nanny
goats? I can't remember.

Just ignore it.

Where was I? You were deciding
between ferryboats and nanny goats.

Samantha, wasn't
that the doorbell?

Uh, no, Louise,
I don't think so.

Oh, Darrin, I didn't
know you were home.

Louise? What's she doing here?

If you brought that beast of
the volleyball court with you,

you just tell him
from me, I'm not here.

Get on with it!

- Let's not get huffy.
- Sweetheart. Uh,
please, Uncle Arthur?

That's better.

Screech, hoot owls.
Toot, ferryboats.

Darrin?

If you won't answer the door,
at least answer the window.

I'm sorry to intrude, but I've
got to talk to you, man-to-man.

Come on in. Join the party.

You can't talk? Laryngitis?

Samantha, was that
Larry's voice I heard?

Darrin, you've got
Louise in there. Traitor!

That is Larry! You
did bring him home!

Well, you can just tell
him from me, I'm not here!

Louise, Larry knew
you were here. He just...

Can't talk, eh? What are you trying
to do? Make a monkey out of me?

- That's a fun thought.
- Uncle Arthur,
don't you dare!

Darrin, if Louise
wants to stay here,

you can have her, but
you're no friend of mine.

You're not even my
employee, you Benedict Arnold!

You old meanie!

Fired. I've lost my
job; I've lost my voice;

and now I think
I'm losing my mind.

Sweetheart, just hold on a
little bit longer. It'll all work out.

Uncle Arthur, "Screech, hoot
owls, and toot, ferryboats"?

Now, just a second. You both
are forgetting one important thing.

There's a little puppy
outside all alone,

waiting for a little girl
like Tabitha to love him.

Listen to him ranting about
puppies at a time like this!

- Puppies count too.
- - And I am going to count to three.

Screech, hoot owls,
and toot, ferryboats.

Voices, hightail it to
each other's throats.

This better be it! It
is it! I'm me again!

You did it, Uncle... Arthur.

Sammy, you've got my
voice, and I've got yours!

Well, as long as
it's in the family.

What's so funny?
Everybody having a party?

Not everybody.
Just Uncle Arthur.

Well, Larry's gone. At least
that's one thing to celebrate.

Samantha, I just have to
talk to you, woman-to-woman.

Oh, Louise, uh,

Sam can't talk
woman-to-woman right now.

Since when do you
speak for Samantha?

Since about 10 minutes ago.

What'd you say, Samantha?

Talk to me, Louise. I can be
very understanding when I try.

And I'm really going to try.
Well, I don't wanna talk to you.

In fact, I don't wanna talk to
any of you. You're all against me.

Uncle Arthur, if you don't

straighten us out, I am
going to scream so loud...

and so long, you're gonna
be hoarse for a month.

All right. All right. We'll
try something different.

I know a million of 'em.

Cauldrons bubble
and sloe gin fizz,

restore to each
the voice that's his,

uh, and hers.

There.

If this is another
one of your tricks...

Worrywart. Go ahead, Sammy.

Testing,

one, two.

I liked it better before. The
fun's gone out of this party.

- Why don't you follow it?
- Sammy, before I leave,
ask him.

Sweetheart, Uncle Arthur
came to give Tabitha something.

What? A hotfoot?

My good man, you
underestimate me.

I stopped giving
hotfoots 400 years ago.

Congratulations and good-bye.

Well, the least you
can do is shake hands.

Okay.

Sam, he's your uncle. Do
something with him, something terrible!

That's gratitude for you.

My puppy and I are
leaving. There's my little killer.

I knew that
incantation would work.

I just hope it sticks.

What'd he mean by
that? Nothing... I hope.

I'll send for my things.

Louise, where're you going?

- I know when I'm not wanted.
- Louise...

I think it's time for
our little woman...

-to-woman talk.

That's Darrin's voice, and
it's coming out of your mouth.

Louise... don't
believe everything...

you hear.

That's Samantha's voice
coming out of your mouth!

Louise, believe me, there's a
logical explanation for all this.

Yes, there is. I'm going out of my
mind, and I'm getting out of this house.

Larry, am I glad to see you.

No, no, no. I'm - the one
who's glad to see you.

And I apologize. I've thought it over,
and I really am an insensitive boob.

Well, maybe you are, but you're
my insensitive boob, and I need you.

Let's go get your things.

Oh, no. I'm not - going
back in that house.

There's something
weird going on in there.

Darrin's voice is
coming out of Samantha,

and Samantha's voice
is coming out of Darrin.

You poor kid. You really
did miss me, didn't you?

They're coming in. Duck!

Don't you worry, sweetheart. Nothing
can happen. Daddy Bear is here.

I'm glad somebody's
happy. Uncle Arthur isn't.

- I don't know what to do.
- Why don't you try apologizing?

What are you
doing in that picture?

I've been framed.

You get down here this instant.
Yeah. Hanging's too good for ya.

Sammy, I feel another
pout coming on.

Uncle Arthur, Darrin...

Uncle Arthur, Darrin
didn't mean it, really.

You did a beautiful job
of getting our voices back.

Now... Now if you could
just get them to stick.

Stick! That's it! I just
forgot the stickum.

Sammy, Darrin, join hands.

Hurry up. Just leave
the goals to me.

Voices be nimble,
voices be quick,

voices return, and this
time, stick, stick, stick.

And don't come
back. I heard that.

Oh. We're stuck!

Watch your step, pussycat. We
don't want you hurting yourself.

Yes.

Good-bye, Samantha.
Good-bye, Darrin. And thank you.

- Thanks for nothing.
- Uh, Lar. Lar!

Larry, can I talk to
you for a minute?

Ah, so the cat gave
you back your tongue.

Oh, Larry, darling, be kind.

All right. But I'm only doing
it for you, my flower blossom.

- What is it?
- Over here, Larry, please.

Larry, this whole
thing can be explained.

I'm listening.

Uh, what Darrin
means is that he's glad...

that our plan
worked, for your sake.

- What plan?
- Tell him, Sam.

You know. The plan to
make Louise feel rejected...

so that she'd want
to go back to Larry.

Right. That plan.

- Don't give me that.
- Louise, didn't you
feel rejected?

- I certainly did.
- See? It worked.

You mean you... You
really did that for us?

For you and Louise.

And for your marriage.
That's what really counts.

Gee, Darrin, I... I
don't know what to say.

You son of a gun. Put 'er there.

- It's the old
football huddle shake.
- Yeah.

Hurry, love. Time's flying.

You son of a gun.

You know what caused this? What?

Three dumb little words from you
to Uncle Arthur: "Don't come back."

Oh, I guess I shouldn't
have said that.

Yeah. Well, there's
one consolation:

If I have to be stuck with
someone, I'm glad it's you.

You son of a gun.

The water's boiling, so when I lift up
the lid, you put in the spaghetti, okay?

No, it isn't okay! How can anything be
okay when we're stuck together like this?

Sweetheart, look at the bright side.
We do believe in togetherness, don't we?

Yeah, but this is ridiculous.

Don't worry. Uncle Arthur
will show up and unstick us.

- Sure.
- Let's not forget he wouldn't
have stuck us together...

in the first place if
you hadn't insulted him.

- He's rather thin-skinned.
- And thickskulled.

There you go again.

Now, you're just gonna have to
learn to understand Uncle Arthur.

He's really very sweet. I can
remember when I was a little girl,

he taught me how
to make my first pony.

Now, anybody who
did that can't be all bad.

Hold it. I'm not boiling yet.

He's in there! Quick!
Turn the heat up!

Darrin.

Hmm. If there's one
place you'll never find me,

it's in hot water.

Over here.

Aw. Isn't that sweet?

Married five years
and still holding hands.

Uh, yeah. All right.

Uncle Arthur, you've
made your point.

- Please?
- Oh, all right.

Hands be nimble, hands be quick,

prepare yourselves
and now unstick.

- Thank you, Uncle Arthur.
- You don't have
to thank me, Sammy,

but he does.

Unless you wanna be married
to a 170-pound artichoke.

Thank you. And I mean it.

Strange as it may seem, you're
the best friend I have in Sam's family.

Even with all your practical jokes, I
know you really love us and mean well.

Let's not get sticky.
But you know, Sammy,

even though he is a
party pooper, I like him.

Too bad he doesn't have a
little more sense of humor.

Here's $50 worth.

Don't you get it,
Dum-dum? "Cents" of humor.

If you think that's funny,
you're gonna love this.