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1
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(wind whistling)
2
00:00:11,534 --> 00:00:12,534
- [Stalker] Richie.
3
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Richie.
4
00:00:20,635 --> 00:00:21,635
- [Richie] Help!
5
00:00:21,675 --> 00:00:22,675
(anxious piano music)
6
00:00:23,428 --> 00:00:24,428
Somebody, help me, please!
7
00:00:25,630 --> 00:00:26,630
- [Stalker] Richie! I'm
comin' for you! (cackles)
8
00:00:30,832 --> 00:00:31,832
- [Richie] No!
9
00:00:31,933 --> 00:00:32,933
Please!
10
00:00:33,186 --> 00:00:34,186
(Richie screams)
11
00:00:35,953 --> 00:00:36,953
(intense music)
12
00:00:42,071 --> 00:00:43,071
(thunder cracks)
13
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(siren wailing)
14
00:00:49,161 --> 00:00:50,161
- Hey, Shapiro!
15
00:00:51,001 --> 00:00:52,001
Wait'll you get a load of this mess.
16
00:00:52,756 --> 00:00:53,756
Sweetly ralphed when he saw it.
17
00:00:54,565 --> 00:00:55,565
- Hatchetfield's finest, huh?
18
00:00:56,460 --> 00:00:57,460
Fuckin' hell.
19
00:00:57,566 --> 00:00:58,566
What do we got?
20
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- Janitor found the body this morning.
21
00:01:00,264 --> 00:01:01,264
Victim's been identified
as Richard Lipschitz.
22
00:01:02,710 --> 00:01:03,710
Age 18.
23
00:01:04,157 --> 00:01:05,157
- I leave Chicago 'cause
of the blood and guts,
24
00:01:05,825 --> 00:01:06,825
and what do you know?
25
00:01:07,435 --> 00:01:08,435
They got 'em here too.
26
00:01:08,927 --> 00:01:09,927
- Coroner puts the time of death
27
00:01:10,184 --> 00:01:11,184
around 8:00 p.m. Friday night.
28
00:01:12,315 --> 00:01:13,315
Multiple lacerations
to the head and chest.
29
00:01:14,488 --> 00:01:15,488
- They twisted his nipples off! (laughs)
30
00:01:16,591 --> 00:01:17,591
(audience laughing)
31
00:01:17,895 --> 00:01:18,895
- Then finished the job by
drowning him in the toilet.
32
00:01:20,358 --> 00:01:21,358
- Richie here got purple-nurpled
and swirlied to death.
33
00:01:23,235 --> 00:01:24,235
- Face down in the fucking John.
34
00:01:24,826 --> 00:01:25,826
What a way to go.
35
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- That's not all.
36
00:01:27,336 --> 00:01:28,336
The killer left a little love note for us.
37
00:01:29,708 --> 00:01:30,708
Penned in the victim's blood.
38
00:01:35,787 --> 00:01:36,787
- "Nerdy prudes must die."
39
00:01:39,189 --> 00:01:40,189
- First the Jagerman boy. Now this.
40
00:01:41,490 --> 00:01:42,490
Hey, do you think they're connected?
41
00:01:43,651 --> 00:01:44,651
- I don't know, Bailey.
42
00:01:44,766 --> 00:01:45,766
Do Nighthawks shit in the woods?
43
00:01:46,705 --> 00:01:47,705
- They shit on my car sometimes. (laughs)
44
00:01:48,611 --> 00:01:49,611
(audience laughing)
45
00:01:49,472 --> 00:01:50,472
Hey, Shapiro! What do
you want me to do here?
46
00:01:51,926 --> 00:01:52,926
We're small-town cops!
47
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We're a little out of our depth!
48
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(moody piano music)
49
00:01:56,097 --> 00:01:57,097
Jesus.
50
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How the hell did this happen?
51
00:02:09,111 --> 00:02:10,111
♪ I'm dead ♪
52
00:02:11,710 --> 00:02:12,710
(audience laughing)
53
00:02:13,026 --> 00:02:14,026
♪ The blood is all but
draining from my head ♪
54
00:02:19,539 --> 00:02:20,539
♪ The nightmare started
there but now has spread ♪
55
00:02:25,926 --> 00:02:26,926
♪ My pulse is certainly dropping ♪
56
00:02:28,937 --> 00:02:29,937
♪ And my life is hanging on by ♪
57
00:02:32,119 --> 00:02:33,119
♪ A thread ♪
♪ I'm scared ♪
58
00:02:35,729 --> 00:02:36,729
♪ Someone comes for me I'm unprepared ♪
59
00:02:42,114 --> 00:02:43,114
♪ The wait has got me sweating ♪
60
00:02:45,045 --> 00:02:46,045
♪ I can't cut through all the tension ♪
61
00:02:48,663 --> 00:02:49,663
♪ It's a hell on earth you know ♪
62
00:02:51,844 --> 00:02:52,844
♪ I'm tweetin' all about it ♪
63
00:02:55,109 --> 00:02:56,109
♪ I take it blow-by-blow ♪
64
00:02:58,075 --> 00:02:59,075
♪ But I'd never scream or shout it ♪
65
00:03:00,935 --> 00:03:01,935
(school bell rings)
66
00:03:02,292 --> 00:03:03,292
- Passing period's over. Find your seats!
67
00:03:04,716 --> 00:03:05,716
♪ High school is killing me ♪
68
00:03:06,876 --> 00:03:07,876
♪ It's got me all out of
rhythm and my melody ♪
69
00:03:10,995 --> 00:03:11,995
♪ It's not cool it's a fallacy ♪
70
00:03:13,566 --> 00:03:14,566
♪ It's a cruel and unusual brutality ♪
71
00:03:17,743 --> 00:03:18,743
♪ And I can survive it ♪
72
00:03:20,829 --> 00:03:21,829
♪ For only so long ♪
73
00:03:24,176 --> 00:03:25,176
♪ High school is killing me ♪
74
00:03:26,889 --> 00:03:27,889
♪ I'm so fucking dead ♪
75
00:03:28,307 --> 00:03:29,307
All right, class. Pop quiz!
76
00:03:30,662 --> 00:03:31,662
I hope you've been hitting the books.
77
00:03:32,078 --> 00:03:33,078
Ms. Lauter.
78
00:03:33,371 --> 00:03:34,371
- Shit.
79
00:03:34,603 --> 00:03:35,603
♪ I was up all late last night ♪
80
00:03:36,903 --> 00:03:37,903
♪ And I couldn't fucking study ♪
81
00:03:39,601 --> 00:03:40,601
♪ Didn't want to anyway ♪
82
00:03:41,206 --> 00:03:42,206
♪ I was deep in a Twitter fight ♪
83
00:03:43,337 --> 00:03:44,337
♪ About a problematic puppy ♪
84
00:03:46,131 --> 00:03:47,131
♪ Problematic pooch ♪
85
00:03:47,612 --> 00:03:48,612
♪ I had heart palpitations ♪
86
00:03:49,428 --> 00:03:50,428
♪ Trying to convert
crypto to lunch money ♪
87
00:03:54,251 --> 00:03:55,251
♪ There's nowhere to turn ♪
88
00:03:56,893 --> 00:03:57,893
♪ For the class of 2021 ♪
89
00:03:59,696 --> 00:04:00,696
♪ High school is killing me ♪
90
00:04:01,922 --> 00:04:02,922
♪ It's got me all out of
rhythm and my melody ♪
91
00:04:05,193 --> 00:04:06,193
♪ My melody ♪
♪ My melody ♪
92
00:04:06,209 --> 00:04:07,209
♪ A cesspool faux democracy ♪
93
00:04:08,725 --> 00:04:09,725
♪ It's one hell of a normal abnormality ♪
94
00:04:11,584 --> 00:04:12,584
(students grunting and groaning)
95
00:04:12,943 --> 00:04:13,943
♪ And I can survive it for only so long ♪
96
00:04:18,160 --> 00:04:19,160
♪ For only so long ♪
97
00:04:19,347 --> 00:04:20,347
♪ High school is killing me ♪
98
00:04:21,958 --> 00:04:22,958
♪ I'm so fucking ♪
99
00:04:22,791 --> 00:04:23,791
Hey. Hey, geek.
100
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- Me?
101
00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:26,265
- Your name's Peter, right?
102
00:04:26,394 --> 00:04:27,394
- Yeah.
103
00:04:27,250 --> 00:04:28,250
- Hi, Pete.
104
00:04:28,121 --> 00:04:29,121
We've been in classes together
for a long time, haven't we?
105
00:04:30,100 --> 00:04:31,100
♪ I'm so fucking dead ♪
106
00:04:31,319 --> 00:04:32,319
- Since the first grade.
107
00:04:32,562 --> 00:04:33,562
- Yeah, and I'm just realizing
I've never introduced myself.
108
00:04:35,586 --> 00:04:36,586
I'm Stephanie.
109
00:04:36,419 --> 00:04:37,419
♪ I'm so fucking dead. ♪
110
00:04:37,768 --> 00:04:38,768
- Lauter, the mayor's
daughter. Yeah, I know.
111
00:04:40,044 --> 00:04:41,044
- But my friends call me Steph.
112
00:04:42,142 --> 00:04:43,142
We're friends, aren't we, Pete?
113
00:04:43,158 --> 00:04:44,158
♪ I'm so fucking dead ♪
114
00:04:44,550 --> 00:04:45,550
- I don't know. Are we?
115
00:04:46,813 --> 00:04:47,813
- Well, I wouldn't advertise it
116
00:04:47,646 --> 00:04:48,646
to the whole school or anything.
117
00:04:50,091 --> 00:04:51,091
♪ High school ♪
118
00:04:50,924 --> 00:04:51,924
But there's an unspoken bond between us.
119
00:04:52,918 --> 00:04:53,918
We're classmates. We're comrades.
120
00:04:54,422 --> 00:04:55,422
We're Nighthawks!
121
00:04:55,670 --> 00:04:56,670
And we don't leave anyone behind.
122
00:04:57,174 --> 00:04:58,174
- I got left behind this morning.
123
00:04:58,607 --> 00:04:59,607
Bus driver's a fucking asshole.
124
00:05:00,309 --> 00:05:01,309
- Yeah, we succeed together,
or we fail together.
125
00:05:03,361 --> 00:05:04,361
Now I won't mince words.
126
00:05:04,934 --> 00:05:05,934
I'm gonna fail this test, Peter.
127
00:05:07,094 --> 00:05:08,094
Unless you help me cheat.
128
00:05:08,388 --> 00:05:09,388
- Cheat?
129
00:05:09,221 --> 00:05:10,221
♪ I'm so fucking dead ♪
130
00:05:10,055 --> 00:05:11,055
♪ Eight o'clock bell ring ♪
131
00:05:11,663 --> 00:05:12,663
♪ Place my head my desk ♪
132
00:05:13,584 --> 00:05:14,584
- Come on, just finish
your exam, pass it to me,
133
00:05:15,076 --> 00:05:16,076
and I'll put my name on it.
134
00:05:16,220 --> 00:05:17,220
♪ 12 o'clock girl scout ♪
135
00:05:17,980 --> 00:05:18,980
♪ Can I just get my rest ♪
136
00:05:19,938 --> 00:05:20,938
- I'll give you mine,
137
00:05:20,771 --> 00:05:21,771
you get to take the test all over again.
138
00:05:21,604 --> 00:05:22,604
Doesn't that sound fun?
139
00:05:22,823 --> 00:05:23,823
♪ Three o'clock countdown ♪
140
00:05:24,559 --> 00:05:25,559
♪ Everyday lockdown ♪
141
00:05:26,072 --> 00:05:27,072
♪ Classroom arrest ♪
142
00:05:27,662 --> 00:05:28,662
♪ Is god the one giving the test ♪
143
00:05:31,104 --> 00:05:32,104
- Well, yeah. But won't we get in trouble?
144
00:05:33,516 --> 00:05:34,516
- Please, Pete. Don't
you wanna help me out?
145
00:05:35,663 --> 00:05:36,663
- Oh, all right.
146
00:05:36,882 --> 00:05:37,882
- Cheaters!
147
00:05:37,715 --> 00:05:38,715
- Oh god. Butt out, Chastity!
148
00:05:40,452 --> 00:05:41,452
♪ High school is killing me ♪
149
00:05:42,864 --> 00:05:43,864
♪ It's got me out of my
rhythm and my melody ♪
150
00:05:45,711 --> 00:05:46,711
♪ My melody ♪
♪ My melody ♪
151
00:05:47,112 --> 00:05:48,112
♪ It's not cool it's a tragedy ♪
152
00:05:49,573 --> 00:05:50,573
♪ I've been thrown to the
wolves of the community ♪
153
00:05:52,462 --> 00:05:53,462
(students howling and growling)
154
00:05:53,727 --> 00:05:54,727
♪ And I can survive it ♪
155
00:05:56,771 --> 00:05:57,771
♪ For only so long ♪
♪ For only so long ♪
156
00:06:00,446 --> 00:06:01,446
♪ And I'll still despise it ♪
157
00:06:03,711 --> 00:06:04,711
♪ When I am gone ♪
♪ When I'm gone ♪
158
00:06:06,666 --> 00:06:07,666
♪ High school is killing me ♪
159
00:06:08,285 --> 00:06:09,285
- Grace, just be cool!
160
00:06:09,736 --> 00:06:10,736
♪ Fuck you biology ♪
161
00:06:11,863 --> 00:06:12,863
- Never.
162
00:06:13,003 --> 00:06:14,003
♪ High School will murder me ♪
163
00:06:14,885 --> 00:06:15,885
Miss Mulberry, they're cheating!
164
00:06:17,216 --> 00:06:18,216
♪ I'm so fucking dead ♪
165
00:06:18,606 --> 00:06:19,606
♪ Yeah ♪
166
00:06:20,005 --> 00:06:21,005
(audience cheering and applauding)
167
00:06:26,317 --> 00:06:27,317
- Peter, Stephanie,
principal's office, now!
168
00:06:33,325 --> 00:06:34,325
- Grace Chasity! That little snitch!
169
00:06:36,277 --> 00:06:37,277
Man, I hate that nerdy prude!
170
00:06:37,775 --> 00:06:38,775
- Oh, god, I am dead. I am so dead.
171
00:06:40,679 --> 00:06:41,679
- What's the matter?
172
00:06:41,512 --> 00:06:42,512
This your first academic misconduct?
173
00:06:43,505 --> 00:06:44,505
Don't sweat it. It's two
hours detention tops.
174
00:06:45,313 --> 00:06:46,313
- I'm not worried about the principal.
175
00:06:47,204 --> 00:06:48,204
I'm worried about what the
popular kids are gonna do
176
00:06:48,999 --> 00:06:49,999
when they find out I was talking to you.
177
00:06:50,943 --> 00:06:51,943
I don't need this kind of attention.
178
00:06:52,995 --> 00:06:53,995
(audience laughing)
179
00:06:54,783 --> 00:06:55,783
- Okay.
180
00:06:55,983 --> 00:06:56,983
So you don't want to be bullied?
181
00:06:58,013 --> 00:06:59,013
- No!
182
00:06:59,026 --> 00:07:00,026
I want to be invisible.
183
00:07:01,511 --> 00:07:02,511
- Then why do you come to a public school
184
00:07:02,642 --> 00:07:03,642
dressed in suspenders
and a fucking bow tie?
185
00:07:04,274 --> 00:07:05,274
(audience laughing)
186
00:07:06,260 --> 00:07:07,260
- Because bow ties are high-class.
187
00:07:10,254 --> 00:07:11,254
Do you remember Travis Coulson?
188
00:07:12,741 --> 00:07:13,741
- Oh yeah. That really poor kid.
189
00:07:15,187 --> 00:07:16,187
Didn't he and his family starve to death?
190
00:07:16,882 --> 00:07:17,882
- No. And they weren't poor.
191
00:07:19,199 --> 00:07:20,199
He wore a dirty shirt once,
and he got bullied so bad
192
00:07:22,612 --> 00:07:23,612
that his parents had to
transfer him to Sycamore.
193
00:07:24,733 --> 00:07:25,733
- Sycamore? I'd rather starve to death.
194
00:07:27,558 --> 00:07:28,558
- And these suspenders
are to hold my pants up.
195
00:07:31,192 --> 00:07:32,192
One time Brad Callahan
pantsed me in sixth grade,
196
00:07:34,258 --> 00:07:35,258
right in front of Sara Zimmerman.
197
00:07:36,413 --> 00:07:37,413
Then she started this rumor-
198
00:07:37,509 --> 00:07:38,509
- Oh my god!
199
00:07:39,088 --> 00:07:40,088
You're Micro-Peter!
200
00:07:40,533 --> 00:07:41,533
- Oh, god.
201
00:07:41,366 --> 00:07:42,366
(audience laughing)
202
00:07:42,622 --> 00:07:43,622
You're, like, famous!
203
00:07:44,871 --> 00:07:45,871
Can I ask about it?
204
00:07:46,085 --> 00:07:47,085
- It's not actually a micro-penis!
205
00:07:47,916 --> 00:07:48,916
(audience laughing)
206
00:07:49,121 --> 00:07:50,121
I was a kid. It's grown since then.
207
00:07:51,550 --> 00:07:52,550
- Well, there goes your claim to fame.
208
00:07:53,791 --> 00:07:54,791
- This outfit is a tapestry of my trauma.
209
00:07:56,774 --> 00:07:57,774
It is designed to provoke as
little teasing as possible.
210
00:08:01,342 --> 00:08:02,342
- Anyone ever do this?
211
00:08:02,196 --> 00:08:03,196
(suspender snaps)
212
00:08:04,035 --> 00:08:05,035
- Every damn day.
213
00:08:05,428 --> 00:08:06,428
(audience laughing)
214
00:08:06,610 --> 00:08:07,610
My titties are tenderized.
215
00:08:07,967 --> 00:08:08,967
(audience laughing)
216
00:08:09,303 --> 00:08:10,303
But it's better than getting saddled
217
00:08:10,677 --> 00:08:11,677
with another humiliating nickname.
218
00:08:13,714 --> 00:08:14,714
I have a real name.
219
00:08:15,477 --> 00:08:16,477
Peter Spankoffski.
220
00:08:17,412 --> 00:08:18,412
(audience laughing)
221
00:08:19,740 --> 00:08:20,740
It's Polish.
222
00:08:23,246 --> 00:08:24,246
- I didn't know you were funny.
223
00:08:27,280 --> 00:08:28,280
- Neither did I.
224
00:08:28,503 --> 00:08:29,503
(audience laughing)
225
00:08:29,999 --> 00:08:30,999
- I like funny guys.
226
00:08:32,797 --> 00:08:33,797
(school bell rings)
227
00:08:33,900 --> 00:08:34,900
- Oh shit.
228
00:08:35,107 --> 00:08:36,107
Shit, shit, shit!
229
00:08:36,271 --> 00:08:37,271
I can't let him see me talking to you!
230
00:08:37,806 --> 00:08:38,806
He's creamed nerds for less!
231
00:08:39,998 --> 00:08:40,998
- What? Who has?
232
00:08:41,324 --> 00:08:42,324
Spankoffski! Who are you running from?
233
00:08:44,241 --> 00:08:45,241
♪ Huh ♪
234
00:08:45,074 --> 00:08:46,074
(intense music)
235
00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:52,000
♪ He's got the hallway on lock ♪
236
00:08:52,200 --> 00:08:53,200
♪ His fists are always half-cocked ♪
237
00:08:53,929 --> 00:08:54,929
♪ He's got me hiding in my locker ♪
238
00:08:57,077 --> 00:08:58,077
♪ He's got the face of a saint ♪
239
00:08:58,394 --> 00:08:59,394
♪ That post-pubescent strength ♪
240
00:08:59,921 --> 00:09:00,921
♪ The hottest girl yeah he knocked her ♪
241
00:09:03,056 --> 00:09:04,056
♪ You have a girl he'll seduce her ♪
242
00:09:05,892 --> 00:09:06,892
♪ You're not him you're a loser ♪
243
00:09:09,013 --> 00:09:10,013
♪ It's best to drop and play dead ♪
244
00:09:10,440 --> 00:09:11,440
♪ Place your hands on your neck ♪
245
00:09:11,805 --> 00:09:12,805
♪ Call the feds lock the thread ♪
246
00:09:13,418 --> 00:09:14,418
♪ He's straight ahead ♪
247
00:09:14,251 --> 00:09:15,251
♪ You better leave your hopes behind ♪
248
00:09:17,656 --> 00:09:18,656
♪ No one's gonna stop him ♪
249
00:09:20,103 --> 00:09:21,103
♪ You better hope you're out of sight ♪
250
00:09:23,205 --> 00:09:24,205
♪ Or you're doomed to be his victim ♪
251
00:09:25,876 --> 00:09:26,876
♪ You won't defeat it's kind ♪
252
00:09:29,650 --> 00:09:30,650
♪ Never look in the eye ♪
253
00:09:31,385 --> 00:09:32,385
♪ He's a literal monster ♪
254
00:09:39,239 --> 00:09:40,239
♪ He is juiced he is jacked ♪
255
00:09:40,249 --> 00:09:41,249
♪ He's hormones on the attack ♪
256
00:09:41,928 --> 00:09:42,928
♪ He's the horror in every rumor ♪
257
00:09:45,059 --> 00:09:46,059
♪ I swear to god he has fangs ♪
258
00:09:46,448 --> 00:09:47,448
♪ Everyone knows how he bangs ♪
259
00:09:48,070 --> 00:09:49,070
♪ No one to blame if there's no accuser ♪
260
00:09:51,076 --> 00:09:52,076
♪ I once was his tutor ♪
261
00:09:53,978 --> 00:09:54,978
♪ Then I regarded my future ♪
262
00:09:56,145 --> 00:09:57,145
♪ You better ♪
263
00:09:57,281 --> 00:09:58,281
♪ Like a nighthawk he preys ♪
264
00:09:58,690 --> 00:09:59,690
♪ Like a jock he cliches ♪
265
00:09:59,887 --> 00:10:00,887
♪ And we pray and we pray ♪
266
00:10:02,384 --> 00:10:03,384
♪ You better leave your hopes behind ♪
267
00:10:04,687 --> 00:10:05,687
♪ You better you better ♪
268
00:10:05,595 --> 00:10:06,595
♪ No one's gonna stop him ♪
269
00:10:07,724 --> 00:10:08,724
♪ You better you better ♪
270
00:10:08,793 --> 00:10:09,793
♪ You better hope you're out of sight ♪
271
00:10:10,567 --> 00:10:11,567
♪ You better ♪
272
00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:12,400
♪ Or you're doomed to be a victim ♪
273
00:10:14,246 --> 00:10:15,246
♪ He roars ♪
♪ He roars ♪
274
00:10:17,275 --> 00:10:18,275
♪ And we cry ♪
♪ And we cry ♪
275
00:10:19,996 --> 00:10:20,996
♪ He's the reason ♪
♪ He's the reason ♪
276
00:10:23,426 --> 00:10:24,426
♪ With no why ♪
277
00:10:25,261 --> 00:10:26,261
♪ He's a literal monster ♪
278
00:10:31,495 --> 00:10:32,495
♪ A damn literal monster ♪
279
00:10:35,792 --> 00:10:36,792
- Hey!
280
00:10:37,065 --> 00:10:38,065
Shit-Lips!
281
00:10:39,488 --> 00:10:40,488
- It's Lipschitz. Richard Lipsch...
282
00:10:43,209 --> 00:10:44,209
(Richard stammers)
283
00:10:44,327 --> 00:10:45,327
Max Jagerman.
284
00:10:46,137 --> 00:10:47,137
- It's third period, Shit-Lips.
285
00:10:48,234 --> 00:10:49,234
I've gotta get to remedial algebra.
286
00:10:51,214 --> 00:10:52,214
(audience laughing)
287
00:10:52,047 --> 00:10:53,047
Meaning I've gotta walk
through this hallway,
288
00:10:53,549 --> 00:10:54,549
and I don't need you stinkin' it up.
289
00:10:56,572 --> 00:10:57,572
- Sorry, Max. My mistake.
290
00:10:58,379 --> 00:10:59,379
I never intended to walk
through your hallway.
291
00:11:01,402 --> 00:11:02,402
- Oh, well, there's a difference
between intent and impact.
292
00:11:05,483 --> 00:11:06,483
(audience laughing)
293
00:11:06,363 --> 00:11:07,363
I learned that at the
anti-bulling assembly
294
00:11:08,205 --> 00:11:09,205
last month, fuck-nugget!
295
00:11:10,548 --> 00:11:11,548
(audience laughing)
296
00:11:12,226 --> 00:11:13,226
What do you think, guys?
297
00:11:13,909 --> 00:11:14,909
Should I let him off with a warning?
298
00:11:15,323 --> 00:11:16,323
- Ha-ha. Yeah!
299
00:11:17,388 --> 00:11:18,388
(audience laughing)
300
00:11:19,979 --> 00:11:20,979
- No. Dumb-ass!
301
00:11:23,267 --> 00:11:24,267
I think for this hallway infraction,
302
00:11:26,526 --> 00:11:27,526
I'm gonna have to issue a Flick-It Ticket.
303
00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:30,689
- No, Max! Please!
304
00:11:31,536 --> 00:11:32,536
Can't you just fart on me or something?
305
00:11:33,168 --> 00:11:34,168
- Oh, sorry.
306
00:11:35,265 --> 00:11:36,265
I'm fresh outta your favorite food.
307
00:11:37,194 --> 00:11:38,194
I think I'm just gonna have to flick it!
308
00:11:39,131 --> 00:11:40,131
(Richard groans)
309
00:11:40,180 --> 00:11:41,180
- My balls!
310
00:11:41,652 --> 00:11:42,652
- Now move along, bitch!
311
00:11:43,924 --> 00:11:44,924
- Aw, that was cool!
312
00:11:45,216 --> 00:11:46,216
(both grunt)
313
00:11:46,049 --> 00:11:47,049
- Hey-ho! Heck no!
314
00:11:47,347 --> 00:11:48,347
Co-ed dances gotta go!
315
00:11:48,996 --> 00:11:49,996
- [Kyle] Hey, Maxie!
316
00:11:51,144 --> 00:11:52,144
Lookie what we have here.
317
00:11:52,402 --> 00:11:53,402
- [Jason] Oh, shit! It's Chastity-belt!
318
00:11:55,226 --> 00:11:56,226
She's such a nerd!
319
00:11:56,387 --> 00:11:57,387
- She's such a prude!
320
00:11:57,276 --> 00:11:58,276
- Yeah, she's so gross!
321
00:11:59,092 --> 00:12:00,092
- Really, Kyle?
322
00:12:00,500 --> 00:12:01,500
That's a hot take.
323
00:12:01,788 --> 00:12:02,788
How gross is she?
324
00:12:03,231 --> 00:12:04,231
- Super gross!
325
00:12:04,296 --> 00:12:05,296
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
326
00:12:05,129 --> 00:12:06,129
She's, like, a total two-bagger!
327
00:12:07,076 --> 00:12:08,076
- Oh! A two-bagger?
328
00:12:10,104 --> 00:12:11,104
What's a two-bagger?
329
00:12:11,881 --> 00:12:12,881
- Uh, it means that she's so ugly
330
00:12:13,580 --> 00:12:14,580
that she's gotta wear two bags on her head
331
00:12:15,613 --> 00:12:16,613
in case one falls off.
332
00:12:17,442 --> 00:12:18,442
- Oh! That's sick, bro!
333
00:12:19,323 --> 00:12:20,323
That's so fuckin' funny!
334
00:12:20,727 --> 00:12:21,727
(Max grunts)
335
00:12:22,732 --> 00:12:23,732
- Jesus, Max.
336
00:12:23,897 --> 00:12:24,897
- Get him up! Get this fucker up!
337
00:12:26,112 --> 00:12:27,112
(Kyle groaning)
338
00:12:30,152 --> 00:12:31,152
Now you listen to me, you stuttering prick.
339
00:12:33,465 --> 00:12:34,465
Nobody, and I mean nobody, talks that way
340
00:12:38,260 --> 00:12:39,260
about Grace Chasity.
341
00:12:40,866 --> 00:12:41,866
- Sorry, Max.
342
00:12:42,361 --> 00:12:43,361
- Now deposit this trash
into the nearest receptacle.
343
00:12:45,185 --> 00:12:46,185
- Oh, please! We're trying
to get the dance canceled!
344
00:12:46,625 --> 00:12:47,625
Tell your teammates!
345
00:12:49,587 --> 00:12:50,587
- Hey, Grace.
346
00:12:50,856 --> 00:12:51,856
What're you doing?
347
00:12:52,035 --> 00:12:53,035
- Getting the dance canceled.
348
00:12:53,280 --> 00:12:54,280
Homecoming's just an excuse for
kids to dry hump in the gym.
349
00:12:56,725 --> 00:12:57,725
I run laps in that gym,
350
00:12:57,730 --> 00:12:58,730
and I don't wanna slip
on any wayward spunk.
351
00:13:00,171 --> 00:13:01,171
(audience laughing)
352
00:13:01,004 --> 00:13:02,004
- Ha ha! Ha ha!
353
00:13:02,119 --> 00:13:03,119
Ha ha ha!
354
00:13:03,294 --> 00:13:04,294
Spunk!
355
00:13:04,340 --> 00:13:05,340
(audience laughing)
356
00:13:05,795 --> 00:13:06,795
You're funny.
357
00:13:07,262 --> 00:13:08,262
Can I carry your books for you?
358
00:13:08,921 --> 00:13:09,921
- Carry my books?
359
00:13:10,857 --> 00:13:11,857
I don't think either of
us are ready for that.
360
00:13:12,553 --> 00:13:13,553
I mean, we're only 18.
361
00:13:14,119 --> 00:13:15,119
(audience laughing)
362
00:13:15,435 --> 00:13:16,435
- Chasity, come on.
You're breaking my balls.
363
00:13:20,135 --> 00:13:21,135
(audience laughing)
364
00:13:21,543 --> 00:13:22,543
Just one little date.
365
00:13:23,754 --> 00:13:24,754
- You don't know me very well, do you?
366
00:13:26,256 --> 00:13:27,256
- I know that, behind closed doors,
367
00:13:27,743 --> 00:13:28,743
repressed chicks are the biggest freaks.
368
00:13:30,108 --> 00:13:31,108
Nuns, librarians. Watch some porn.
369
00:13:33,936 --> 00:13:34,936
(audience laughing)
370
00:13:35,044 --> 00:13:36,044
You'll see.
371
00:13:36,657 --> 00:13:37,657
Tell me I'm wrong, dirty girl.
372
00:13:40,192 --> 00:13:41,192
(audience laughing)
373
00:13:41,882 --> 00:13:42,882
- Don't call me that.
374
00:13:44,266 --> 00:13:45,266
- But that's what you are, isn't it?
375
00:13:46,721 --> 00:13:47,721
My little dirty girl.
376
00:13:52,219 --> 00:13:53,219
- I am only one man's girl, Max,
377
00:13:54,665 --> 00:13:55,665
and his name is Jesus Christ!
378
00:13:56,907 --> 00:13:57,907
(audience laughing and applauding)
379
00:14:02,611 --> 00:14:03,611
I suggest getting acquainted with him
380
00:14:04,439 --> 00:14:05,439
before you end up roasting
on a spit in Hell.
381
00:14:07,087 --> 00:14:08,087
Now if you'll excuse me.
382
00:14:08,686 --> 00:14:09,686
Hey-ho! Heck no!
383
00:14:10,383 --> 00:14:11,383
Co-ed dances gotta go!
384
00:14:12,207 --> 00:14:13,207
- Oh, man! She is such a prude. (laughs)
385
00:14:15,401 --> 00:14:16,401
- Yeah. Isn't she great?
386
00:14:18,366 --> 00:14:19,366
- You could have any babe in school, Max.
387
00:14:20,653 --> 00:14:21,653
Why her?
388
00:14:21,905 --> 00:14:22,905
- Forbidden fruit, dick-hole!
389
00:14:24,891 --> 00:14:25,891
It's always the sweetest.
390
00:14:26,154 --> 00:14:27,154
(intense music)
391
00:14:27,051 --> 00:14:28,051
And I will not rest
392
00:14:27,942 --> 00:14:28,942
until I taste Grace
Chasity's little peach.
393
00:14:31,649 --> 00:14:32,649
♪ I roar ♪
♪ Huh-huh ♪
394
00:14:34,231 --> 00:14:35,231
♪ And you cry ♪
♪ Huh-huh ♪
395
00:14:37,329 --> 00:14:38,329
♪ I'm the reason ♪
♪ Huh-huh ♪
396
00:14:40,051 --> 00:14:41,051
♪ You run and hide ♪
397
00:14:43,012 --> 00:14:44,012
♪ I'm a literal ♪
398
00:14:44,350 --> 00:14:45,350
♪ Don't need no one to tell me ♪
399
00:14:45,588 --> 00:14:46,588
♪ High school will be my peak ♪
400
00:14:47,300 --> 00:14:48,300
♪ So I'm willing to take advantage ♪
401
00:14:50,364 --> 00:14:51,364
♪ There's only one outta reach ♪
402
00:14:51,553 --> 00:14:52,553
♪ Her name is Chastity ♪
403
00:14:53,546 --> 00:14:54,546
♪ It's a wound I can help her bandage ♪
404
00:14:56,459 --> 00:14:57,459
♪ You all look disappointed ♪
405
00:14:58,507 --> 00:14:59,507
♪ B-b-but ♪
406
00:14:59,394 --> 00:15:00,394
♪ You couldn't do it if you wanted ♪
407
00:15:01,705 --> 00:15:02,705
♪ You better ♪
408
00:15:02,538 --> 00:15:03,538
♪ So keeping on judging me ♪
409
00:15:03,911 --> 00:15:04,911
♪ That comes with infamy ♪
410
00:15:05,163 --> 00:15:06,163
♪ You can leave but you won't ♪
411
00:15:06,768 --> 00:15:07,768
♪ Stay in your seat ♪
412
00:15:07,634 --> 00:15:08,634
♪ You better leave your hopes behind ♪
413
00:15:09,514 --> 00:15:10,514
♪ You better leave your hopes behind! ♪
414
00:15:11,661 --> 00:15:12,661
♪ No one's gonna stop him ♪
415
00:15:12,859 --> 00:15:13,859
♪ No one's gonna stop me ♪
416
00:15:14,254 --> 00:15:15,254
♪ You better hope you're out of sight ♪
417
00:15:15,569 --> 00:15:16,569
♪ Outta sight ♪
418
00:15:16,440 --> 00:15:17,440
♪ Or you're doomed to be a victim ♪
419
00:15:19,080 --> 00:15:20,080
♪ You won't defeat his kind ♪
420
00:15:22,992 --> 00:15:23,992
♪ Never look in the eye ♪
♪ Huh-huh ♪
421
00:15:24,848 --> 00:15:25,848
♪ A predator of my size ♪
422
00:15:27,573 --> 00:15:28,573
♪ He's a literal monster ♪
423
00:15:29,158 --> 00:15:30,158
♪ Cross your heart hope to die ♪
♪ Huh-huh ♪
424
00:15:31,043 --> 00:15:32,043
♪ You can watch as I rise ♪
425
00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:34,120
♪ He's a literal monster ♪
426
00:15:35,048 --> 00:15:36,048
♪ I will claim what is mine ♪
427
00:15:36,992 --> 00:15:37,992
♪ I'm a literal monster ♪
428
00:15:40,039 --> 00:15:41,039
(audience cheering and applauding)
429
00:15:49,998 --> 00:15:50,998
- I'm home!
430
00:15:51,412 --> 00:15:52,412
- Ugh, Stephanie!
431
00:15:52,909 --> 00:15:53,909
I've had three staffers trying
to get ahold of you all day.
432
00:15:55,825 --> 00:15:56,825
Why weren't you answering?
433
00:15:57,155 --> 00:15:58,155
- I was at school.
434
00:15:59,036 --> 00:16:00,036
- This is politics, Stephanie.
435
00:16:00,800 --> 00:16:01,800
Learn to multi-task.
436
00:16:02,293 --> 00:16:03,293
(audience laughing)
437
00:16:03,297 --> 00:16:04,297
Have you even seen the new polls?
438
00:16:04,794 --> 00:16:05,794
Your father is down.
439
00:16:06,009 --> 00:16:07,009
We're within the margin of error,
440
00:16:07,288 --> 00:16:08,288
and you're doing everything
you can to fuck things up!
441
00:16:10,490 --> 00:16:11,490
It's like you don't care
about this campaign at all.
442
00:16:12,484 --> 00:16:13,484
- Wow, Ms. Tessburger. It
is like that, isn't it?
443
00:16:16,864 --> 00:16:17,864
- Well, well.
444
00:16:18,126 --> 00:16:19,126
If it's not my October surprise.
445
00:16:22,666 --> 00:16:23,666
Stephanie, next time
you're going to cheat,
446
00:16:24,778 --> 00:16:25,778
do it like a Lauter and don't get caught.
447
00:16:27,494 --> 00:16:28,494
- I wouldn't have gotten caught
448
00:16:28,327 --> 00:16:29,327
if it weren't for that nerdy, little-
449
00:16:29,177 --> 00:16:30,177
- Stephanie, please,
450
00:16:30,010 --> 00:16:31,010
I'd like to have an intelligent
conversation with you.
451
00:16:32,189 --> 00:16:33,189
- In other words, shut up.
452
00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:35,400
- Yeah, shut up.
453
00:16:36,575 --> 00:16:37,575
- You. Out.
454
00:16:39,733 --> 00:16:40,733
Stephanie, do you have any idea
455
00:16:41,216 --> 00:16:42,216
what's coming up in a
mere matter of weeks?
456
00:16:44,182 --> 00:16:45,182
- The election.
457
00:16:45,015 --> 00:16:46,015
- The election.
458
00:16:47,083 --> 00:16:48,083
I had to personally call your
principal this afternoon.
459
00:16:49,695 --> 00:16:50,695
Do you know they wanted to suspend you?
460
00:16:51,605 --> 00:16:52,605
Imagine how that would've reflected on me.
461
00:16:53,213 --> 00:16:54,213
The mayor's daughter, a deviant, a flunky.
462
00:16:59,134 --> 00:17:00,134
We came to an arrangement.
463
00:17:01,293 --> 00:17:02,293
They're not going to punish you, but I am.
464
00:17:04,685 --> 00:17:05,685
You will raise your grades, or else.
465
00:17:09,083 --> 00:17:10,083
- "Or else"?
466
00:17:10,949 --> 00:17:11,949
How ominous.
467
00:17:13,165 --> 00:17:14,165
What are you gonna do, ground me?
468
00:17:14,686 --> 00:17:15,686
Like I won't just sneak out.
469
00:17:16,488 --> 00:17:17,488
Face it, old man, there's
nothing you can threaten me with.
470
00:17:18,975 --> 00:17:19,975
- Oh really?
471
00:17:20,812 --> 00:17:21,812
Miss Tessburger.
472
00:17:23,715 --> 00:17:24,715
(audience laughing)
473
00:17:25,347 --> 00:17:26,347
Hey, that looks like my phone.
474
00:17:28,697 --> 00:17:29,697
- It is.
475
00:17:31,878 --> 00:17:32,878
- Be careful with that, Dad.
476
00:17:35,271 --> 00:17:36,271
Please, Daddy?
477
00:17:36,545 --> 00:17:37,545
(audience laughing)
478
00:17:38,901 --> 00:17:39,901
- I'll be careful with it.
479
00:17:40,758 --> 00:17:41,758
I'll carefully smash it with this hammer.
480
00:17:44,295 --> 00:17:45,295
- You wouldn't.
481
00:17:45,694 --> 00:17:46,694
Not even you would do something that evil!
482
00:17:48,048 --> 00:17:49,048
You know all my pictures are on there!
483
00:17:51,116 --> 00:17:52,116
- I've found a weak-spot, haven't I?
484
00:17:53,681 --> 00:17:54,681
Your whole generation's in
thrall to these fucking boxes.
485
00:17:56,932 --> 00:17:57,932
Little app-junkies.
486
00:18:00,421 --> 00:18:01,421
I'm going to free you of it, Stephanie.
487
00:18:03,126 --> 00:18:04,126
- No!
488
00:18:07,009 --> 00:18:08,009
(audience laughing)
489
00:18:09,016 --> 00:18:10,016
- Did you just throw your hand
490
00:18:10,578 --> 00:18:11,578
between the hammer and the phone?
491
00:18:13,056 --> 00:18:14,056
(audience laughing)
492
00:18:15,661 --> 00:18:16,661
- Yeah.
493
00:18:17,927 --> 00:18:18,927
- Smart phones are for smart
girls, not little dumb-dumbs.
494
00:18:23,449 --> 00:18:24,449
You can have this back once
you've raised your grades.
495
00:18:25,540 --> 00:18:26,540
I don't care if you have
to lie, cheat, steal,
496
00:18:28,580 --> 00:18:29,580
or, shock-of-all-shocks,
497
00:18:29,995 --> 00:18:30,995
read a book for once in your life.
498
00:18:33,107 --> 00:18:34,107
- How am I supposed to study
without listening to Spotify?
499
00:18:38,722 --> 00:18:39,722
Do you even know what you're doing?
500
00:18:40,965 --> 00:18:41,965
You're killing me with what you're doing!
501
00:18:43,740 --> 00:18:44,740
(audience laughing)
502
00:18:44,676 --> 00:18:45,676
- If only, Stephanie.
503
00:18:46,841 --> 00:18:47,841
If only.
504
00:18:50,957 --> 00:18:51,957
(light music)
505
00:18:57,112 --> 00:18:58,112
- Hey, fellas.
506
00:18:58,441 --> 00:18:59,441
Ready to make like Newton
507
00:18:59,967 --> 00:19:00,967
and get this physics project in motion?
508
00:19:02,636 --> 00:19:03,636
(audience laughing)
509
00:19:04,399 --> 00:19:05,399
- What?
510
00:19:06,196 --> 00:19:07,196
Ya know, like Newton's law
of motion, like physics.
511
00:19:10,521 --> 00:19:11,521
- This project's on thermo-dynamics.
512
00:19:12,808 --> 00:19:13,808
What the fuck are you talking about?
513
00:19:13,855 --> 00:19:14,855
- Okay.
514
00:19:14,688 --> 00:19:15,688
(audience laughing)
515
00:19:15,521 --> 00:19:16,521
It's just a little joke.
516
00:19:16,883 --> 00:19:17,883
I got it on good authority
that I'm actually pretty funny.
517
00:19:20,624 --> 00:19:21,624
- Funny looking, maybe. (laughs)
518
00:19:22,969 --> 00:19:23,969
And not even that right
now. Where's your bow tie?
519
00:19:25,414 --> 00:19:26,414
- People are gonna start
thinking you're poor, Pete.
520
00:19:28,474 --> 00:19:29,474
- I'm trying out a new look, okay?
521
00:19:31,114 --> 00:19:32,114
- At the library?
522
00:19:32,549 --> 00:19:33,549
Who are you trying to impress? Ruth?
523
00:19:34,701 --> 00:19:35,701
- Yeah, you don't even
need to try with me, Pete.
524
00:19:38,409 --> 00:19:39,409
(audience laughing)
525
00:19:40,892 --> 00:19:41,892
I just want someone to touch me.
526
00:19:43,998 --> 00:19:44,998
(audience laughing)
527
00:19:45,333 --> 00:19:46,333
Anyone! Please!
528
00:19:47,134 --> 00:19:48,134
- Jesus. Calm down, Ruth.
529
00:19:50,053 --> 00:19:51,053
- I know what this is about.
530
00:19:51,852 --> 00:19:52,852
Somebody walks to the
office with Stephanie Lauter
531
00:19:55,282 --> 00:19:56,282
and suddenly he's Stefan Urquelle.
532
00:19:58,685 --> 00:19:59,685
Well, don't get your hopes up, Pete.
533
00:20:01,306 --> 00:20:02,306
She was just using you to cheat on a test.
534
00:20:04,257 --> 00:20:05,257
- What was it like when
she touched your arm?
535
00:20:07,962 --> 00:20:08,962
Did you cum?
536
00:20:09,424 --> 00:20:10,424
- Ruth! Quit it!
537
00:20:11,578 --> 00:20:12,578
- I need to know!
538
00:20:13,676 --> 00:20:14,676
- We just had a nice talk. She's cool.
539
00:20:16,431 --> 00:20:17,431
- We know she's cool, Peter. You're not.
540
00:20:19,862 --> 00:20:20,862
You and Steph? It's a fantasy.
541
00:20:22,956 --> 00:20:23,956
Like a boy and his anime love pillows.
542
00:20:26,508 --> 00:20:27,508
(audience laughing)
543
00:20:27,559 --> 00:20:28,559
It's a beautiful dream,
544
00:20:28,866 --> 00:20:29,866
but I'll never hold the real
Rei or Asuka in my arms.
545
00:20:32,830 --> 00:20:33,830
(audience laughing)
546
00:20:35,606 --> 00:20:36,606
(cellphone ringing)
547
00:20:38,140 --> 00:20:39,140
- Pete!
548
00:20:39,112 --> 00:20:40,112
Silence your cellphone in the library!
549
00:20:41,057 --> 00:20:42,057
- Sorry!
550
00:20:43,710 --> 00:20:44,710
- Who do you think it is?
551
00:20:45,052 --> 00:20:46,052
- Probably a telemarketer.
552
00:20:46,816 --> 00:20:47,816
- Lucky!
553
00:20:48,243 --> 00:20:49,243
I'm such a loser,
telemarketers hang up on me.
554
00:20:51,204 --> 00:20:52,204
(audience laughing)
555
00:20:52,995 --> 00:20:53,995
- Hello?
556
00:20:54,019 --> 00:20:55,019
- Hey, is this Peter Spankoffski?
557
00:20:56,769 --> 00:20:57,769
- Yeah.
558
00:20:57,676 --> 00:20:58,676
- Hi, Pete. It's Steph, from class.
559
00:21:00,300 --> 00:21:01,300
- Oh, uh, yeah.
560
00:21:01,688 --> 00:21:02,688
Stephanie Lauter. I know.
561
00:21:03,502 --> 00:21:04,502
(audience laughing)
562
00:21:04,746 --> 00:21:05,746
- Pete's talking to Stephanie Lauter!
563
00:21:06,231 --> 00:21:07,231
- Nani!
564
00:21:07,554 --> 00:21:08,554
(audience laughing)
565
00:21:11,148 --> 00:21:12,148
- Pete, you're never gonna believe this.
566
00:21:12,195 --> 00:21:13,195
I'm actually calling you on a pay phone
567
00:21:13,795 --> 00:21:14,795
outside of that Italian
restaurant on First.
568
00:21:16,619 --> 00:21:17,619
You know Pasqualli's?
569
00:21:17,452 --> 00:21:18,452
- Oh, yeah. I love that place.
570
00:21:20,061 --> 00:21:21,061
- [Steph] Yeah. Their
breadsticks are really good.
571
00:21:22,052 --> 00:21:23,052
- What is she saying?
572
00:21:24,549 --> 00:21:25,549
What the fuck is she saying?
573
00:21:26,577 --> 00:21:27,577
(audience laughing)
574
00:21:28,032 --> 00:21:29,032
- Listen, I know this
might seem presumptuous,
575
00:21:30,098 --> 00:21:31,098
seeing as how I just got you in trouble,
576
00:21:31,378 --> 00:21:32,378
but, uh, my dad took my phone away,
577
00:21:34,298 --> 00:21:35,298
and I'm never gonna get it back
unless I pick up my grades,
578
00:21:36,086 --> 00:21:37,086
and I was wondering if you could
579
00:21:38,054 --> 00:21:39,054
meet me here and help me study?
580
00:21:41,082 --> 00:21:42,082
- You want me to meet you at Pasqualli's?
581
00:21:43,540 --> 00:21:44,540
- Oh my god! Oh my god!
582
00:21:45,586 --> 00:21:46,586
- Could you hold on?
583
00:21:46,628 --> 00:21:47,628
Could you hold on for a second, Steph?
584
00:21:48,059 --> 00:21:49,059
What's the matter with you guys?
585
00:21:49,772 --> 00:21:50,772
You just told me not to get my hopes up!
586
00:21:52,041 --> 00:21:53,041
- That was before Pasqualli's.
587
00:21:54,250 --> 00:21:55,250
That's where all the cool
kids go before Homecoming.
588
00:21:57,177 --> 00:21:58,177
(imitates alarm wailing)
589
00:21:58,126 --> 00:21:59,126
This is not a drill, Pete!
590
00:21:59,665 --> 00:22:00,665
This is a date! A date!
591
00:22:02,195 --> 00:22:03,195
- I'd ask one of my friends,
592
00:22:03,305 --> 00:22:04,305
but I'm actually the
smart one in the group,
593
00:22:05,091 --> 00:22:06,091
if you can believe that.
594
00:22:07,064 --> 00:22:08,064
- Oh, she needs you, Pete.
595
00:22:09,822 --> 00:22:10,822
Like Princess Leia.
596
00:22:13,039 --> 00:22:14,039
You're her only hope.
597
00:22:15,378 --> 00:22:16,378
- Really, Ruth? A Star Wars analogy?
598
00:22:17,503 --> 00:22:18,503
Need I go into why Attack On Titan
599
00:22:19,518 --> 00:22:20,518
is superior in every possible way?
600
00:22:21,125 --> 00:22:22,125
(audience laughing)
601
00:22:22,094 --> 00:22:23,094
- Shut the fuck up!
602
00:22:23,153 --> 00:22:24,153
- Excuse me?
603
00:22:23,986 --> 00:22:24,986
- Uh, not you.
604
00:22:25,246 --> 00:22:26,246
Just these two fucking nerds
that won't leave me alone.
605
00:22:29,313 --> 00:22:30,313
- Well, could you ditch
those nerds and help me out?
606
00:22:34,506 --> 00:22:35,506
- Uh.
607
00:22:35,339 --> 00:22:36,339
- What're you waiting for, Pete?
608
00:22:38,037 --> 00:22:39,037
A naughty school girl wants
you to help her study?
609
00:22:42,109 --> 00:22:43,109
They don't call it a
cram-session for nothing!
610
00:22:45,459 --> 00:22:46,459
Watch some porn. You'll see!
611
00:22:47,398 --> 00:22:48,398
- Oh!
612
00:22:48,327 --> 00:22:49,327
Stop being gross, both of you!
613
00:22:52,069 --> 00:22:53,069
I had a good day today, okay?
614
00:22:55,130 --> 00:22:56,130
A cool, popular girl told me I was funny.
615
00:22:58,340 --> 00:22:59,340
Can't we just leave it on a high note?
616
00:23:00,441 --> 00:23:01,441
You're telling me I gotta be funny again?
617
00:23:02,441 --> 00:23:03,441
I didn't do it on purpose the first time!
618
00:23:06,253 --> 00:23:07,253
- Pete, you've been given a
once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
619
00:23:10,713 --> 00:23:11,713
Someone's willing to
tolerate your presence
620
00:23:12,785 --> 00:23:13,785
for a whole evening.
621
00:23:14,766 --> 00:23:15,766
This may never happen again!
622
00:23:17,723 --> 00:23:18,723
Destiny knocks but once, and
yours is Stephanie Lauter.
623
00:23:23,348 --> 00:23:24,348
You lucky son of a bitch!
624
00:23:25,363 --> 00:23:26,363
(audience laughing)
625
00:23:28,915 --> 00:23:29,915
- Steph? I'll be there in 20 minutes.
626
00:23:32,892 --> 00:23:33,892
(upbeat music)
627
00:23:38,529 --> 00:23:39,529
♪ I bet you'd call this luck ♪
628
00:23:41,425 --> 00:23:42,425
♪ Well that's your perspective ♪
629
00:23:43,611 --> 00:23:44,611
♪ I bet this song'll suck ♪
630
00:23:46,520 --> 00:23:47,520
♪ It doesn't take a detective ♪
631
00:23:47,841 --> 00:23:48,841
♪ It's as cool as I think I am ♪
632
00:23:50,330 --> 00:23:51,330
♪ It's as cool as I think I am ♪
633
00:23:52,874 --> 00:23:53,874
♪ Oh whoa whoa oh ♪
634
00:23:59,439 --> 00:24:00,439
♪ Princess Leia told me ♪
635
00:24:02,054 --> 00:24:03,054
♪ I'd just as soon kiss a Wookie ♪
636
00:24:04,788 --> 00:24:05,788
♪ I'm straight to DVD ♪
637
00:24:07,378 --> 00:24:08,378
♪ More like a bootleg copy ♪
638
00:24:08,851 --> 00:24:09,851
♪ I'm as cool as she thinks I am ♪
639
00:24:11,453 --> 00:24:12,453
♪ I'm as cool as I think I am ♪
640
00:24:14,093 --> 00:24:15,093
♪ Oh whoa whoa oh ♪
641
00:24:17,939 --> 00:24:18,939
♪ What if all my thoughts were stronger ♪
642
00:24:23,190 --> 00:24:24,190
♪ What if my beliefs were taller ♪
643
00:24:28,438 --> 00:24:29,438
♪ What if I were king of the hill ♪
644
00:24:33,490 --> 00:24:34,490
♪ Captain of the team ♪
645
00:24:40,346 --> 00:24:41,346
♪ Way cooler than I think I am ♪
646
00:24:43,116 --> 00:24:44,116
♪ Way cooler than I think I am ♪
647
00:24:45,411 --> 00:24:46,411
♪ Oh whoa whoa oh ♪
648
00:24:52,948 --> 00:24:53,948
♪ Why did she pick me ♪
649
00:24:55,369 --> 00:24:56,369
♪ I hope I don't know the answer ♪
650
00:24:58,131 --> 00:24:59,131
♪ Cheating's a two-way street ♪
651
00:25:00,773 --> 00:25:01,773
♪ But every crime needs a partner ♪
652
00:25:02,291 --> 00:25:03,291
♪ I'm as cool as she thinks I am ♪
653
00:25:03,910 --> 00:25:04,910
♪ Cool as she thinks ♪
654
00:25:05,070 --> 00:25:06,070
♪ I'm as cool as she thinks I am ♪
655
00:25:06,818 --> 00:25:07,818
♪ Cool as she really thinks I am ♪
656
00:25:07,843 --> 00:25:08,843
♪ Oh whoa whoa oh ♪
657
00:25:09,244 --> 00:25:10,244
♪ Then again I'm deranged ♪
♪ Then again I'm deranged ♪
658
00:25:11,658 --> 00:25:12,658
♪ Puberty's got me fueled ♪
♪ Puberty's got me fueled ♪
659
00:25:14,189 --> 00:25:15,189
♪ She's the brawn I'm the brains ♪
660
00:25:15,528 --> 00:25:16,528
♪ She's the brawn I'm the brains ♪
661
00:25:16,807 --> 00:25:17,807
♪ Can that really be true? ♪
662
00:25:17,883 --> 00:25:18,883
♪ Smarter than she thinks she is ♪
663
00:25:19,293 --> 00:25:20,293
♪ Smarter than she thinks ♪
664
00:25:20,571 --> 00:25:21,571
♪ She's smarter than she thinks she is ♪
665
00:25:22,291 --> 00:25:23,291
♪ Cooler than I really think I am ♪
666
00:25:23,379 --> 00:25:24,379
♪ Oh whoa whoa oh ♪
667
00:25:24,212 --> 00:25:25,212
♪ But what if I were wrong ♪
668
00:25:27,437 --> 00:25:28,437
♪ What if I were wrong ♪
669
00:25:29,470 --> 00:25:30,470
♪ It's only in my head ♪
670
00:25:32,525 --> 00:25:33,525
♪ Only in my head ♪
671
00:25:35,032 --> 00:25:36,032
♪ What if people see me as someone ♪
672
00:25:40,167 --> 00:25:41,167
♪ Other than who I ♪
673
00:25:44,095 --> 00:25:45,095
♪ Am ♪
674
00:25:47,186 --> 00:25:48,186
♪ Cooler than I think I am ♪
675
00:25:49,839 --> 00:25:50,839
♪ Am I cooler than I think I am ♪
676
00:25:52,274 --> 00:25:53,274
♪ Oh whoa whoa ♪
677
00:25:54,043 --> 00:25:55,043
♪ If I can finally be cool ♪
678
00:25:59,702 --> 00:26:00,702
♪ I will know that I'm not a loser ♪
679
00:26:05,222 --> 00:26:06,222
♪ And if I finally break the rules ♪
680
00:26:10,874 --> 00:26:11,874
♪ I will know of my world I'm the ruler ♪
681
00:26:21,183 --> 00:26:22,183
♪ But is that who I think I am ♪
682
00:26:24,069 --> 00:26:25,069
♪ Is that who I think I am ♪
683
00:26:26,677 --> 00:26:27,677
♪ Oh whoa whoa oh ♪
684
00:26:32,475 --> 00:26:33,475
♪ Who do I think I am ♪
685
00:26:35,191 --> 00:26:36,191
♪ Who do I think I am ♪
686
00:26:37,873 --> 00:26:38,873
♪ Oh whoa whoa ♪
687
00:26:39,236 --> 00:26:40,236
- Oh!
688
00:26:40,519 --> 00:26:41,519
(crowd cheering)
689
00:26:42,313 --> 00:26:43,313
Shut up!
690
00:26:43,410 --> 00:26:44,410
(audience laughing)
691
00:26:46,427 --> 00:26:47,427
Well, well, well.
692
00:26:48,600 --> 00:26:49,600
If it isn't Micro-Peter Spankoffski.
693
00:26:52,323 --> 00:26:53,323
What's your button-chode doing on my turf?
694
00:26:54,974 --> 00:26:55,974
- Max!
695
00:26:56,157 --> 00:26:57,157
I didn't realize that the parking lot
696
00:26:57,765 --> 00:26:58,765
of Pasqualli's belonged to you.
697
00:27:00,103 --> 00:27:01,103
- So where's your bow tie, rich boy?
698
00:27:03,252 --> 00:27:04,252
You think you're better than
me 'cause you come from money?
699
00:27:05,451 --> 00:27:06,451
- Oh, no.
700
00:27:06,507 --> 00:27:07,507
I think the bow tie
gave you the wrong idea.
701
00:27:08,139 --> 00:27:09,139
I'm not rich.
702
00:27:09,433 --> 00:27:10,433
- Ugh!
703
00:27:10,843 --> 00:27:11,843
So you're a poor piece of shit then?
704
00:27:12,776 --> 00:27:13,776
(audience laughing)
705
00:27:14,250 --> 00:27:15,250
Had to sell your bow tie to
feed your fucking family?
706
00:27:17,756 --> 00:27:18,756
(audience laughing)
707
00:27:18,912 --> 00:27:19,912
- Look, I know what you
want me to do, okay?
708
00:27:22,540 --> 00:27:23,540
You want me to grovel.
709
00:27:24,932 --> 00:27:25,932
Run, so you can you can chase.
710
00:27:26,517 --> 00:27:27,517
We've been doing this song and dance
711
00:27:27,991 --> 00:27:28,991
since the fourth grade, Max.
712
00:27:29,622 --> 00:27:30,622
Well, I'm sick of your (stammers) shit.
713
00:27:31,732 --> 00:27:32,732
(audience laughing)
714
00:27:33,573 --> 00:27:34,573
I just hyped myself up
715
00:27:34,824 --> 00:27:35,824
to come hang out with Stephanie Lauter.
716
00:27:36,850 --> 00:27:37,850
And after that, you don't seem so scary.
717
00:27:39,290 --> 00:27:40,290
- Wait. Steph?
718
00:27:41,449 --> 00:27:42,449
- Yeah, she invited me.
719
00:27:43,264 --> 00:27:44,264
- Well, shit.
720
00:27:44,097 --> 00:27:45,097
If she's cool with kid, then
maybe I'm cool with him too.
721
00:27:45,865 --> 00:27:46,865
- Shut the fuck up, Jason!
722
00:27:47,695 --> 00:27:48,695
(audience laughing)
723
00:27:50,424 --> 00:27:51,424
Did I hear you correctly, Spankoffski?
724
00:27:56,160 --> 00:27:57,160
I don't seem scary to you?
725
00:27:59,651 --> 00:28:00,651
- You're just a bully.
726
00:28:02,115 --> 00:28:03,115
And when you stand up to a
bully, they lose their power.
727
00:28:04,077 --> 00:28:05,077
(Max grunts)
(Peter groans)
728
00:28:05,557 --> 00:28:06,557
- Woo!
729
00:28:06,390 --> 00:28:07,390
How's that feel, Spankoffski?
730
00:28:08,433 --> 00:28:09,433
Does it feel like I lost my power?
731
00:28:10,881 --> 00:28:11,881
I don't know what gave you the idea
732
00:28:12,613 --> 00:28:13,613
you could break bread
with Stephanie Lauter.
733
00:28:15,449 --> 00:28:16,449
- She said-
734
00:28:16,282 --> 00:28:17,282
- I don't give a fuck what she said!
735
00:28:17,986 --> 00:28:18,986
I did not consent to this rendez-voos!
736
00:28:20,480 --> 00:28:21,480
(audience laughing)
737
00:28:23,611 --> 00:28:24,611
I decide who's cool and who's not.
738
00:28:28,024 --> 00:28:29,024
I decide if Kyle can date Brenda.
739
00:28:30,648 --> 00:28:31,648
The answer's still no by the way!
740
00:28:34,161 --> 00:28:35,161
(audience laughing)
741
00:28:37,789 --> 00:28:38,789
You're not a nerd 'cause of your glasses
742
00:28:40,210 --> 00:28:41,210
or your pimple-dick.
743
00:28:41,043 --> 00:28:42,043
(Peter whimpers)
744
00:28:43,253 --> 00:28:44,253
You're a nerd 'cause I said so.
745
00:28:46,568 --> 00:28:47,568
I willed it into existence.
746
00:28:50,293 --> 00:28:51,293
I bring order to Hatchetfield High.
747
00:28:53,511 --> 00:28:54,511
Light to darkness.
748
00:28:58,552 --> 00:28:59,552
I'm your God.
749
00:29:01,550 --> 00:29:02,550
Now on your knees, bitch.
750
00:29:03,318 --> 00:29:04,318
It's time to say your fuckin' prayers!
751
00:29:05,347 --> 00:29:06,347
- [Richard] No, no!
752
00:29:06,180 --> 00:29:07,180
(dramatic music)
753
00:29:07,517 --> 00:29:08,517
- [Group] Amen!
754
00:29:09,409 --> 00:29:10,409
(audience laughing)
755
00:29:10,831 --> 00:29:11,831
- All right, Chastitys. Dig in.
756
00:29:13,813 --> 00:29:14,813
- This looks great, Mom!
757
00:29:14,706 --> 00:29:15,706
- Well, nothing says yummy
758
00:29:15,994 --> 00:29:16,994
like a mouthful of Mother's meatloaf.
759
00:29:17,845 --> 00:29:18,845
- Oh, Mark.
760
00:29:19,537 --> 00:29:20,537
(parents chuckling)
761
00:29:20,524 --> 00:29:21,524
Oh, how was the open house? Any bites?
762
00:29:23,002 --> 00:29:24,002
- I'm afraid I'm going to have
to cast a longer rod, Mother.
763
00:29:26,451 --> 00:29:27,451
- Oh Mark, why?
764
00:29:28,419 --> 00:29:29,419
I cannot believe no one wants to buy
765
00:29:30,102 --> 00:29:31,102
that beautiful, old house.
766
00:29:31,989 --> 00:29:32,989
- What house, Dad?
767
00:29:32,840 --> 00:29:33,840
- The old Waylon place down on Hickory.
768
00:29:35,055 --> 00:29:36,055
- Mm. That house.
769
00:29:36,450 --> 00:29:37,450
- What's wrong with it?
770
00:29:37,632 --> 00:29:38,632
- It's haunted. Everyone says so.
771
00:29:39,359 --> 00:29:40,359
(Mark laughs)
772
00:29:40,192 --> 00:29:41,192
- And that's why that
house'll never sell, Mother.
773
00:29:43,074 --> 00:29:44,074
Ghost stories.
774
00:29:44,505 --> 00:29:45,505
- You don't believe 'em, Dad?
775
00:29:45,396 --> 00:29:46,396
- I only believe in one ghost, Grace.
776
00:29:48,299 --> 00:29:49,299
A Holy Spirit that resides
in all of our hearts.
777
00:29:50,708 --> 00:29:51,708
(audience laughs)
778
00:29:51,817 --> 00:29:52,817
- You're right, Dad.
779
00:29:53,628 --> 00:29:54,628
- And how was your day, Sweetie?
780
00:29:54,974 --> 00:29:55,974
Did you get the dance canceled?
781
00:29:56,455 --> 00:29:57,455
- I'm working on it.
782
00:29:57,404 --> 00:29:58,404
- Give her time, Mother.
783
00:29:59,311 --> 00:30:00,311
- You will not believe
what that Max Jagerman
784
00:30:01,016 --> 00:30:02,016
said to me today.
785
00:30:02,195 --> 00:30:03,195
- Jagerman? The football star?
786
00:30:04,129 --> 00:30:05,129
- Big game's coming up.
787
00:30:05,520 --> 00:30:06,520
That boy's got some arm on him.
788
00:30:07,670 --> 00:30:08,670
- He came up to me in the hallway
789
00:30:08,914 --> 00:30:09,914
and he asked if he could carry my books.
790
00:30:11,716 --> 00:30:12,716
- Oh, Mark.
791
00:30:12,789 --> 00:30:13,789
I didn't know that sort of thing happened
792
00:30:14,629 --> 00:30:15,629
at Hatchetfield High.
793
00:30:15,964 --> 00:30:16,964
(audience laughs)
794
00:30:17,166 --> 00:30:18,166
Do you think you should
call the boy's father?
795
00:30:18,735 --> 00:30:19,735
- Oh, I don't know, Mother.
796
00:30:20,324 --> 00:30:21,324
I wasn't much older than him
797
00:30:21,577 --> 00:30:22,577
when I started carrying
your books, Ms. Chasity.
798
00:30:24,269 --> 00:30:25,269
- Dad! Gross!
799
00:30:25,540 --> 00:30:26,540
(audience laughs)
800
00:30:27,013 --> 00:30:28,013
I told him no, obviously.
801
00:30:28,709 --> 00:30:29,709
I don't think about that sort of thing.
802
00:30:29,869 --> 00:30:30,869
Me and Max, in carnal
embrace? That's ridiculous.
803
00:30:34,787 --> 00:30:35,787
Mom, will you pass the butt-stuff?
804
00:30:37,046 --> 00:30:38,046
(audience laughing)
805
00:30:40,835 --> 00:30:41,835
The Butter. Butter.
806
00:30:42,469 --> 00:30:43,469
Will you pass the Butter?
(chuckles nervously)
807
00:30:44,076 --> 00:30:45,076
I just want some head and butter. Bread!
808
00:30:46,002 --> 00:30:47,002
Bread!
(audience laughing)
809
00:30:48,814 --> 00:30:49,814
Bread and butt-sex to go
with this big shaft of meat
810
00:30:50,901 --> 00:30:51,901
I'm gonna choke down.
811
00:30:51,824 --> 00:30:52,824
Oh boy.
(audience laughs)
812
00:30:53,998 --> 00:30:54,998
Oh criminy!
813
00:30:54,919 --> 00:30:55,919
- Are you feeling all right, Pumpkin?
814
00:30:56,949 --> 00:30:57,949
- You do look flush.
815
00:30:58,099 --> 00:30:59,099
- I'm okay.
816
00:30:59,028 --> 00:31:00,028
I've just got some
butterflies in my tummy,
817
00:31:01,954 --> 00:31:02,954
and they're flying real low today.
818
00:31:03,858 --> 00:31:04,858
(audience laughs)
819
00:31:06,278 --> 00:31:07,278
- Why don't I draw you a bath?
820
00:31:09,585 --> 00:31:10,585
- Come on, Grace.
821
00:31:11,852 --> 00:31:12,852
You gotta stop fantasizing
822
00:31:13,315 --> 00:31:14,315
about some big, dumb football star.
823
00:31:18,415 --> 00:31:19,415
Some big,
824
00:31:20,259 --> 00:31:21,259
dumb,
825
00:31:22,145 --> 00:31:23,145
sexy,
826
00:31:24,890 --> 00:31:25,890
sweaty,
827
00:31:26,994 --> 00:31:27,994
hot
828
00:31:28,577 --> 00:31:29,577
football star!
829
00:31:29,934 --> 00:31:30,934
Ugh!
830
00:31:33,019 --> 00:31:34,019
(water splashing)
831
00:31:36,347 --> 00:31:37,347
- [Max] Grace.
832
00:31:40,849 --> 00:31:41,849
Grace.
833
00:31:43,582 --> 00:31:44,582
- Hello?
834
00:31:45,214 --> 00:31:46,214
(eerie music)
835
00:31:46,334 --> 00:31:47,334
- What's cooking, dirty girl?
836
00:31:51,657 --> 00:31:52,657
- Max Jagerman?
837
00:31:53,503 --> 00:31:54,503
What are you doing in my
bathroom of all places!?
838
00:31:55,909 --> 00:31:56,909
- I couldn't stay away. I'm hungry.
839
00:31:59,227 --> 00:32:00,227
And here you are,
840
00:32:00,272 --> 00:32:01,272
brewing up a big ol'
pot of dirty-girl soup.
841
00:32:04,242 --> 00:32:05,242
(sniffs deeply)
842
00:32:05,699 --> 00:32:06,699
Ah!
843
00:32:06,536 --> 00:32:07,536
(audience laughs)
844
00:32:07,796 --> 00:32:08,796
My favorite.
845
00:32:08,637 --> 00:32:09,637
(audience laughs)
846
00:32:10,425 --> 00:32:11,425
- You call my bath water dirty-girl soup?
847
00:32:13,060 --> 00:32:14,060
This is wrong! This is so wrong.
848
00:32:15,945 --> 00:32:16,945
(audience laughs)
849
00:32:17,959 --> 00:32:18,959
- I know.
850
00:32:19,387 --> 00:32:20,387
(audience screams)
851
00:32:23,703 --> 00:32:24,703
Mind if I join you?
852
00:32:24,563 --> 00:32:25,563
- You are... (stammers)
853
00:32:26,507 --> 00:32:27,507
- Ah.
854
00:32:30,055 --> 00:32:31,055
- Max.
855
00:32:31,884 --> 00:32:32,884
What's that around your neck?
856
00:32:33,457 --> 00:32:34,457
Is that a crucifix?
857
00:32:35,039 --> 00:32:36,039
(audience laughs)
858
00:32:38,506 --> 00:32:39,506
- Everyone's got their
secrets, and this one's mine.
859
00:32:43,288 --> 00:32:44,288
I love
860
00:32:45,341 --> 00:32:46,341
Jesus.
861
00:32:46,284 --> 00:32:47,284
(audience laughs)
862
00:32:48,095 --> 00:32:49,095
- Me too!
863
00:32:51,121 --> 00:32:52,121
- But there's only one thing I love more.
864
00:32:53,662 --> 00:32:54,662
- What's that?
865
00:32:55,259 --> 00:32:56,259
I love
866
00:32:57,220 --> 00:32:58,220
to fuck!
867
00:32:58,430 --> 00:32:59,430
(audience laughs)
868
00:33:00,077 --> 00:33:01,077
(sultry music)
869
00:33:01,098 --> 00:33:02,098
♪ Hey Boo ♪
870
00:33:02,788 --> 00:33:03,788
♪ Daddy needs a little
of that dirty soup ♪
871
00:33:06,503 --> 00:33:07,503
♪ Slice me off a piece of that saucy you ♪
872
00:33:10,378 --> 00:33:11,378
♪ I'd say you got me hypnotized ♪
873
00:33:12,340 --> 00:33:13,340
♪ You're looking all filthy-like ♪
874
00:33:14,178 --> 00:33:15,178
♪ You know its wrong I know its right ♪
875
00:33:16,522 --> 00:33:17,522
♪ Chaste Grace ♪
876
00:33:18,311 --> 00:33:19,311
♪ I'll never ever tell ya to behave ♪
877
00:33:22,098 --> 00:33:23,098
♪ I am expecting you to be-betray me ♪
878
00:33:26,232 --> 00:33:27,232
♪ I'm only in if you're over it ♪
879
00:33:28,243 --> 00:33:29,243
♪ A one-way ticket power trip ♪
880
00:33:30,040 --> 00:33:31,040
♪ With no room for censorship ♪
881
00:33:32,331 --> 00:33:33,331
♪ Babe I'ma love you all night long ♪
882
00:33:38,824 --> 00:33:39,824
♪ But you gotta do wrong ♪
883
00:33:42,350 --> 00:33:43,350
♪ Yeah you gotta do wrong ♪
884
00:33:46,547 --> 00:33:47,547
♪ Oh dirty dirty girl
won't you sing for me ♪
885
00:33:52,709 --> 00:33:53,709
♪ Won't you love me like you don't care ♪
886
00:34:00,480 --> 00:34:01,480
♪ Dirty dirty girl will you pray for me ♪
887
00:34:06,065 --> 00:34:07,065
♪ While I push and pull on your hair ♪
888
00:34:14,011 --> 00:34:15,011
♪ Hey brute ♪
889
00:34:15,608 --> 00:34:16,608
♪ You talk to me like
you're in a locker room ♪
890
00:34:19,499 --> 00:34:20,499
♪ It's clear you've never
stepped in a classroom ♪
891
00:34:23,599 --> 00:34:24,599
♪ You think I'm leaving room for you ♪
892
00:34:25,565 --> 00:34:26,565
♪ The trinity is more than two ♪
893
00:34:27,376 --> 00:34:28,376
♪ You want me can't be skipping school ♪
894
00:34:30,487 --> 00:34:31,487
♪ For shame ♪
895
00:34:31,525 --> 00:34:32,525
♪ I am expecting you to be-behave ♪
896
00:34:35,359 --> 00:34:36,359
♪ You think your thirsty
cravings are brave ♪
897
00:34:38,916 --> 00:34:39,916
♪ Take a sip and soap your soiled mouth ♪
898
00:34:41,308 --> 00:34:42,308
♪ You want a tour of the house ♪
899
00:34:43,194 --> 00:34:44,194
♪ You better straighten
out your crooked ways ♪
900
00:34:46,851 --> 00:34:47,851
♪ I'm singing a sacred psalm ♪
901
00:34:51,770 --> 00:34:52,770
♪ On your knees pray along ♪
902
00:34:55,161 --> 00:34:56,161
♪ If you wanna last until dawn ♪
903
00:34:59,587 --> 00:35:00,587
♪ Oh dirty dirty girl ♪
904
00:35:03,142 --> 00:35:04,142
♪ Won't you sing for me ♪
905
00:35:06,166 --> 00:35:07,166
♪ Won't you love me like you don't care ♪
906
00:35:11,461 --> 00:35:12,461
♪ I don't care about your ♪
907
00:35:13,975 --> 00:35:14,975
♪ Dirty dirty girl ♪
908
00:35:16,349 --> 00:35:17,349
♪ Will you pray for me ♪
909
00:35:19,257 --> 00:35:20,257
♪ While I push and pull on your hair ♪
910
00:35:28,314 --> 00:35:29,314
♪ I think I'm loving
you more than I should ♪
911
00:35:31,597 --> 00:35:32,597
♪ You got my judgment
all muddy and cloudy ♪
912
00:35:35,157 --> 00:35:36,157
(both scream)
913
00:35:36,770 --> 00:35:37,770
♪ But my dirty girl soup ♪
♪ But your dirty girl soup ♪
914
00:35:38,494 --> 00:35:39,494
♪ Got me you hungry for more than that ♪
915
00:35:42,006 --> 00:35:43,006
♪ Our loving is foul but it's good ♪
916
00:35:45,212 --> 00:35:46,212
♪ You're breaking hearts for
the fun and it's bloody ♪
917
00:35:48,445 --> 00:35:49,445
(both scream)
918
00:35:50,264 --> 00:35:51,264
♪ But your dirty girl soup got
me hungry for more than that ♪
919
00:35:54,032 --> 00:35:55,032
♪ Got me hungry for more ♪
920
00:35:57,259 --> 00:35:58,259
♪ Hungry for more ♪
921
00:36:00,602 --> 00:36:01,602
♪ Hungry for more ♪
922
00:36:04,033 --> 00:36:05,033
♪ Hungry for more ♪
923
00:36:05,401 --> 00:36:06,401
♪ I'm a I'm a I'm a good girl ♪
924
00:36:08,020 --> 00:36:09,020
♪ Hungry for more ♪
925
00:36:08,853 --> 00:36:09,853
♪ I'm a I'm a I'm a good girl ♪
926
00:36:11,185 --> 00:36:12,185
♪ Hungry for more ♪
927
00:36:12,018 --> 00:36:13,018
♪ I'm a I'm a I'm a good girl ♪
928
00:36:14,454 --> 00:36:15,454
♪ Hungry for more ♪
929
00:36:15,287 --> 00:36:16,287
♪ I'm a I'm a I'm a good girl ♪
930
00:36:18,267 --> 00:36:19,267
♪ Who on occasion gets dirty ♪
931
00:36:20,834 --> 00:36:21,834
♪ Dirty dirty girl won't you sing for me ♪
932
00:36:26,035 --> 00:36:27,035
♪ Won't you love me like you don't care ♪
933
00:36:31,369 --> 00:36:32,369
♪ I won't care about your ♪
934
00:36:33,788 --> 00:36:34,788
♪ Dirty dirty girl will you pray for me ♪
935
00:36:39,368 --> 00:36:40,368
♪ While our lovin' poisons the air ♪
936
00:36:47,460 --> 00:36:48,460
♪ Hey boo daddy needs a
little of that dirty soup ♪
937
00:36:54,171 --> 00:36:55,171
(audience cheering and applauding)
938
00:36:59,503 --> 00:37:00,503
(knocking on door)
939
00:37:02,214 --> 00:37:03,214
- Grace?
940
00:37:03,068 --> 00:37:04,068
(quirky music)
941
00:37:06,179 --> 00:37:07,179
- What have I done?
942
00:37:07,520 --> 00:37:08,520
(audience laughing)
943
00:37:08,790 --> 00:37:09,790
Damn these wandering hands!
944
00:37:10,470 --> 00:37:11,470
Damn these sinful loins!
945
00:37:12,534 --> 00:37:13,534
- Are you all right in there, darling?
946
00:37:14,114 --> 00:37:15,114
I thought I heard moaning.
947
00:37:16,925 --> 00:37:17,925
And you know as well as I do, young lady,
948
00:37:18,987 --> 00:37:19,987
this is a no-moan household!
949
00:37:21,178 --> 00:37:22,178
- Um, um.
950
00:37:22,550 --> 00:37:23,550
It wasn't a moan! It was a groan!
951
00:37:25,051 --> 00:37:26,051
Yeah! I'm doing a number
two in here, a real big one!
952
00:37:28,772 --> 00:37:29,772
- I'll get the plunger.
953
00:37:30,480 --> 00:37:31,480
(audience laughing)
954
00:37:32,591 --> 00:37:33,591
- Come on, Grace!
955
00:37:34,555 --> 00:37:35,555
This isn't you!
956
00:37:35,970 --> 00:37:36,970
You can't be having impure thoughts.
957
00:37:38,582 --> 00:37:39,582
You're not even married!
958
00:37:41,031 --> 00:37:42,031
This is his fault.
959
00:37:42,717 --> 00:37:43,717
Max Jagerman.
960
00:37:44,568 --> 00:37:45,568
He's gotta go.
961
00:37:46,302 --> 00:37:47,302
(dramatic music)
962
00:37:49,340 --> 00:37:50,340
(audience cheering and applauding)
963
00:37:55,317 --> 00:37:56,317
(school bell rings)
964
00:37:56,409 --> 00:37:57,409
- He said he'd be there in 20 minutes,
965
00:37:57,756 --> 00:37:58,756
and he never showed.
966
00:37:59,298 --> 00:38:00,298
I was waiting there all night.
967
00:38:00,321 --> 00:38:01,321
I ended up studying out of sheer boredom.
968
00:38:02,881 --> 00:38:03,881
- Ew.
969
00:38:04,053 --> 00:38:05,053
Well, maybe scared him off, Steph.
970
00:38:06,825 --> 00:38:07,825
Pasqualli's?
971
00:38:08,008 --> 00:38:09,008
You save that place for,
like, the fifth date.
972
00:38:10,964 --> 00:38:11,964
- That's where you go
before the first blowie.
973
00:38:13,763 --> 00:38:14,763
Everybody knows that!
974
00:38:15,538 --> 00:38:16,538
- And he still stood you up? Girl!
975
00:38:17,895 --> 00:38:18,895
That must be so embarrassing for you.
976
00:38:19,714 --> 00:38:20,714
- It wasn't a date, Brenda.
977
00:38:21,523 --> 00:38:22,523
- Sure, Steph. Keep telling yourself that.
978
00:38:23,826 --> 00:38:24,826
Who is this guy anyway?
979
00:38:25,139 --> 00:38:26,139
Standing up the mayor's daughter
980
00:38:26,301 --> 00:38:27,301
like he's got no fucks to give?
981
00:38:27,894 --> 00:38:28,894
Not gonna lie. That's really sexy.
982
00:38:30,492 --> 00:38:31,492
(audience laughing)
983
00:38:31,575 --> 00:38:32,575
- He's not sexy. It's Peter.
984
00:38:36,029 --> 00:38:37,029
Spankoffski?
985
00:38:38,604 --> 00:38:39,604
- Oh my god! The fucking bow tie kid?
986
00:38:40,848 --> 00:38:41,848
(audience laughing)
987
00:38:42,705 --> 00:38:43,705
- Steph, I know he's rich, but...
988
00:38:45,285 --> 00:38:46,285
(audience laughing)
989
00:38:46,947 --> 00:38:47,947
money isn't everything.
990
00:38:49,163 --> 00:38:50,163
Looks are.
991
00:38:51,009 --> 00:38:52,009
- And, like, if you're
on the football team.
992
00:38:52,961 --> 00:38:53,961
- Oh my god! I can't
wait for the big game!
993
00:38:54,872 --> 00:38:55,872
(both shriek)
994
00:38:57,287 --> 00:38:58,287
You have to see the new cheer. So fab!
995
00:38:59,870 --> 00:39:00,870
- Not right now, Stace.
996
00:39:01,871 --> 00:39:02,871
Hey, dweeb!
997
00:39:03,854 --> 00:39:04,854
- Yeah?
- Yeah?
998
00:39:06,187 --> 00:39:07,187
- Either of you seen Pete around?
999
00:39:08,183 --> 00:39:09,183
- Why?
1000
00:39:09,106 --> 00:39:10,106
Looking to kick him while he's down?
1001
00:39:10,905 --> 00:39:11,905
- Yeah, you got all
our hope up, temptress.
1002
00:39:14,533 --> 00:39:15,533
(audience laughing)
1003
00:39:15,622 --> 00:39:16,622
- I don't know what you're taking about.
1004
00:39:16,971 --> 00:39:17,971
- Come on!
1005
00:39:17,941 --> 00:39:18,941
You lured him right into the lion's den.
1006
00:39:20,719 --> 00:39:21,719
We thought you were waifu
material, but you're just a bully.
1007
00:39:24,907 --> 00:39:25,907
- Yeah.
1008
00:39:25,778 --> 00:39:26,778
And we're gonna find new
objects of our sexual desires,
1009
00:39:29,742 --> 00:39:30,742
and then you'll be sorry!
1010
00:39:31,167 --> 00:39:32,167
(audience laughing)
1011
00:39:32,261 --> 00:39:33,261
- This is why nobody talks to guys.
1012
00:39:34,772 --> 00:39:35,772
What the hell happened to Pete last night?
1013
00:39:36,208 --> 00:39:37,208
- Oh, she's touching me!
1014
00:39:38,719 --> 00:39:39,719
- Lucky!
1015
00:39:40,172 --> 00:39:41,172
(audience laughing)
1016
00:39:44,206 --> 00:39:45,206
- Pete? Are you in here?
1017
00:39:46,236 --> 00:39:47,236
- Steph, this is the boys' bathroom!
1018
00:39:47,497 --> 00:39:48,497
- Grow up.
1019
00:39:50,190 --> 00:39:51,190
- Wow.
1020
00:39:53,552 --> 00:39:54,552
These toilets aren't even in stalls.
1021
00:39:57,330 --> 00:39:58,330
(audience laughing)
1022
00:39:59,118 --> 00:40:00,118
You all just watch each other pee?
1023
00:40:02,287 --> 00:40:03,287
Oh, it's better than I ever imagined!
1024
00:40:05,513 --> 00:40:06,513
(audience laughing)
1025
00:40:11,508 --> 00:40:12,508
- Oh my god.
1026
00:40:12,870 --> 00:40:13,870
Pete, what did he do to you?
1027
00:40:14,320 --> 00:40:15,320
- What? This?
1028
00:40:15,501 --> 00:40:16,501
You should see the other guy.
1029
00:40:17,694 --> 00:40:18,694
I think he bruised his
knuckles on my face.
1030
00:40:19,897 --> 00:40:20,897
(audience laughing)
1031
00:40:21,485 --> 00:40:22,485
- Come on. You can't stay
in the bathroom all day.
1032
00:40:23,168 --> 00:40:24,168
- I'm not!
1033
00:40:25,008 --> 00:40:26,008
Just during lunch, passing periods,
1034
00:40:26,303 --> 00:40:27,303
and any times I might
run into Max Jagerman.
1035
00:40:29,849 --> 00:40:30,849
- That's such bullshit.
1036
00:40:31,661 --> 00:40:32,661
I'm not gonna let him get away with this.
1037
00:40:33,260 --> 00:40:34,260
- Steph, the more you get involved,
1038
00:40:35,126 --> 00:40:36,126
the worse things are gonna be for me.
1039
00:40:37,943 --> 00:40:38,943
It's like I said.
1040
00:40:39,926 --> 00:40:40,926
I'm not allowed to talk to you.
1041
00:40:42,646 --> 00:40:43,646
- Who does Max think he is? My dad?
1042
00:40:45,026 --> 00:40:46,026
What a fucking psycho!
1043
00:40:46,082 --> 00:40:47,082
No. I'm sorry, Pete.
1044
00:40:47,317 --> 00:40:48,317
I'm going to the principal with this.
1045
00:40:48,422 --> 00:40:49,422
- Ha!
1046
00:40:49,635 --> 00:40:50,635
This is Max Jagerman,
1047
00:40:51,406 --> 00:40:52,406
the quarterback of the
Hatchetfield Nighthawks.
1048
00:40:53,919 --> 00:40:54,919
If you think the principal
cares more about us
1049
00:40:56,415 --> 00:40:57,415
than the outcome of the big game,
1050
00:40:58,116 --> 00:40:59,116
then you are willfully naive.
1051
00:41:00,270 --> 00:41:01,270
- That's some cool-kid
privilege right there.
1052
00:41:03,332 --> 00:41:04,332
(audience laughing)
1053
00:41:04,165 --> 00:41:05,165
- Well we have to do something.
1054
00:41:05,544 --> 00:41:06,544
- And what, pray tell,
may that be, Stephanie?
1055
00:41:09,154 --> 00:41:10,154
- I don't know. We...
1056
00:41:11,088 --> 00:41:12,088
We...
1057
00:41:12,036 --> 00:41:13,036
- Destroy him!
1058
00:41:14,166 --> 00:41:15,166
- Grace!
- Oh my god.
1059
00:41:16,124 --> 00:41:17,124
Butt out, Chastity.
1060
00:41:17,692 --> 00:41:18,692
This is none of your business.
1061
00:41:18,952 --> 00:41:19,952
- Oh, it very much is my business.
1062
00:41:20,986 --> 00:41:21,986
And not just because I'm a hall monitor
1063
00:41:22,892 --> 00:41:23,892
and there are two girls
in the boy's bathroom.
1064
00:41:25,632 --> 00:41:26,632
Detention for both of you.
1065
00:41:27,072 --> 00:41:28,072
- What?
1066
00:41:27,905 --> 00:41:28,905
- God, you suck, Grace.
1067
00:41:29,468 --> 00:41:30,468
- Max Jagerman has made all
our lives a living heck.
1068
00:41:33,039 --> 00:41:34,039
(audience laughing)
1069
00:41:34,158 --> 00:41:35,158
He's more than a boy. He's an idea.
1070
00:41:37,315 --> 00:41:38,315
One that strikes fear in
the hearts of the meek.
1071
00:41:41,090 --> 00:41:42,090
(audience laughing)
1072
00:41:42,701 --> 00:41:43,701
And lust in the souls of the innocent.
1073
00:41:45,983 --> 00:41:46,983
We must strip him of his power
1074
00:41:47,626 --> 00:41:48,626
and leave him helpless at our feet!
1075
00:41:50,751 --> 00:41:51,751
- How?
1076
00:41:51,897 --> 00:41:52,897
With a little faith in the Father, Son,
1077
00:41:54,227 --> 00:41:55,227
and some holy ghosts.
1078
00:41:56,210 --> 00:41:57,210
(eerie music)
1079
00:41:59,003 --> 00:42:00,003
(wind whistling)
1080
00:42:00,818 --> 00:42:01,818
(audience applauding)
1081
00:42:03,033 --> 00:42:04,033
(thunder booms)
1082
00:42:16,981 --> 00:42:17,981
There it is. The old Waylon place.
1083
00:42:21,414 --> 00:42:22,414
- Isn't this, like, breaking and entering?
1084
00:42:23,991 --> 00:42:24,991
- I'm not breaking anything.
My dad's the realtor.
1085
00:42:26,324 --> 00:42:27,324
(keys jangle)
1086
00:42:28,434 --> 00:42:29,434
(eerie music)
1087
00:42:31,752 --> 00:42:32,752
(door creaking)
1088
00:42:34,600 --> 00:42:35,600
The house was built in 1910
by Mathias and Agatha Waylon.
1089
00:42:39,690 --> 00:42:40,690
Wealthy. Eccentric.
1090
00:42:42,415 --> 00:42:43,415
They went on to build the
city's most important landmarks,
1091
00:42:45,107 --> 00:42:46,107
like The Starlight Theater, The Gazette,
1092
00:42:47,074 --> 00:42:48,074
even the schoolhouse
1093
00:42:47,907 --> 00:42:48,907
that would one day
become Hatchetfield High.
1094
00:42:50,473 --> 00:42:51,473
They took a backwater logging town
1095
00:42:52,523 --> 00:42:53,523
and turned it into their
own personal paradise
1096
00:42:55,102 --> 00:42:56,102
where they were free to indulge
in their eclectic interests.
1097
00:42:58,437 --> 00:42:59,437
- What kinda interests?
1098
00:42:59,992 --> 00:43:00,992
- Oh, you know. A little satanism!
1099
00:43:03,459 --> 00:43:04,459
- Ah, baloney.
1100
00:43:04,292 --> 00:43:05,292
- It's true!
1101
00:43:05,771 --> 00:43:06,771
Human sacrifices! Demonic rituals!
1102
00:43:08,846 --> 00:43:09,846
Sex magic!
1103
00:43:10,300 --> 00:43:11,300
(audience laughing)
1104
00:43:12,494 --> 00:43:13,494
Eventually, the people of Hatchetfield
1105
00:43:13,934 --> 00:43:14,934
got fed up with this cult.
1106
00:43:15,535 --> 00:43:16,535
An angry mob burst through those doors
1107
00:43:17,521 --> 00:43:18,521
and found the Waylons and their followers
1108
00:43:18,951 --> 00:43:19,951
and hacked 'em to bloody bits!
1109
00:43:21,879 --> 00:43:22,879
But as they say, nothing really
dies in the Waylon place.
1110
00:43:26,247 --> 00:43:27,247
Their angry spirits
still haunt these halls
1111
00:43:28,282 --> 00:43:29,282
to this very day.
1112
00:43:29,879 --> 00:43:30,879
And when Max Jagerman comes
in contact with these ghosts,
1113
00:43:34,825 --> 00:43:35,825
we're gonna film the whole thing.
1114
00:43:36,853 --> 00:43:37,853
We're gonna post a video of
him crying for his mommy,
1115
00:43:39,992 --> 00:43:40,992
wetting himself with fear.
1116
00:43:42,129 --> 00:43:43,129
And then he will cease to
be the most terrifying,
1117
00:43:46,140 --> 00:43:47,140
hottest bully in Hatchetfield.
1118
00:43:49,316 --> 00:43:50,316
He will forever be known as #PottyPants.
1119
00:43:52,884 --> 00:43:53,884
(audience laughing)
1120
00:43:54,240 --> 00:43:55,240
- PottyPants?
1121
00:43:55,934 --> 00:43:56,934
How about PissyPants?
1122
00:43:57,169 --> 00:43:58,169
- I'm not comfortable with the plan
1123
00:43:58,305 --> 00:43:59,305
if it involves that kind of language.
1124
00:43:59,626 --> 00:44:00,626
(audience laughing)
1125
00:44:00,772 --> 00:44:01,772
- I'm not comfortable with this place.
1126
00:44:02,972 --> 00:44:03,972
It's not structurally sound.
1127
00:44:05,468 --> 00:44:06,468
(beam creaks)
1128
00:44:06,301 --> 00:44:07,301
- [Steph] Yeah, and something reeks.
1129
00:44:07,406 --> 00:44:08,406
- [All] Sorry, that's me.
1130
00:44:08,832 --> 00:44:09,832
- I'm allergic to deodorant.
1131
00:44:09,981 --> 00:44:10,981
- I have over-active sweat glands.
1132
00:44:11,171 --> 00:44:12,171
- Bathing isn't safe for me right now.
1133
00:44:13,088 --> 00:44:14,088
(audience laughing)
1134
00:44:14,557 --> 00:44:15,557
- God, you guys are nerds.
1135
00:44:15,865 --> 00:44:16,865
- Um, excuse me!
1136
00:44:17,322 --> 00:44:18,322
If I wear antiperspirant,
I break out in hives.
1137
00:44:21,142 --> 00:44:22,142
And I scratch 'em, and they
bleed, and pus comes out.
1138
00:44:25,319 --> 00:44:26,319
I get pus in my pits!
1139
00:44:27,548 --> 00:44:28,548
- Yeah, we're moving on from that.
1140
00:44:28,825 --> 00:44:29,825
- Don't bully me!
1141
00:44:30,615 --> 00:44:31,615
Who invited her anyway?
1142
00:44:32,134 --> 00:44:33,134
- Steph's the most
important part of the plan!
1143
00:44:34,176 --> 00:44:35,176
You're the bait for our trap.
1144
00:44:35,777 --> 00:44:36,777
You're gonna tell Max Jagerman
1145
00:44:36,914 --> 00:44:37,914
something super fun is going
on in the Waylon place,
1146
00:44:39,367 --> 00:44:40,367
something he wouldn't wanna
miss, like a bible study.
1147
00:44:41,979 --> 00:44:42,979
- Or a party.
1148
00:44:42,812 --> 00:44:43,812
(upbeat music)
1149
00:44:44,209 --> 00:44:45,209
- Come on, guys! We can do this.
1150
00:44:46,945 --> 00:44:47,945
(Grace snapping fingers)
1151
00:44:48,164 --> 00:44:49,164
(audience laughing)
1152
00:44:53,087 --> 00:44:54,087
♪ We're gonna bully the bully ♪
1153
00:44:54,904 --> 00:44:55,904
♪ We're gonna film him loosing his cooly ♪
1154
00:44:57,435 --> 00:44:58,435
♪ We're gonna make it spooky ♪
1155
00:44:59,130 --> 00:45:00,130
♪ It's goofy ♪
1156
00:44:59,963 --> 00:45:00,963
♪ Got a better plan ♪
1157
00:45:02,269 --> 00:45:03,269
♪ We'll make him shit his pants ♪
1158
00:45:04,668 --> 00:45:05,668
♪ The Jager-man ♪
1159
00:45:05,501 --> 00:45:06,501
♪ We're gonna invoke his fury ♪
1160
00:45:07,666 --> 00:45:08,666
♪ By making him freak prematurely ♪
1161
00:45:10,192 --> 00:45:11,192
♪ And then have him judged by a jury ♪
1162
00:45:12,312 --> 00:45:13,312
♪ In the public eye ♪
1163
00:45:14,994 --> 00:45:15,994
♪ He's just a nerd in disguise ♪
1164
00:45:16,656 --> 00:45:17,656
- Okay, why do you keep doing that?
1165
00:45:18,039 --> 00:45:19,039
(audience laughing)
1166
00:45:18,872 --> 00:45:19,872
♪ Petey got the blanket ♪
1167
00:45:19,705 --> 00:45:20,705
♪ Ruthie you're in charge of techy ♪
1168
00:45:20,875 --> 00:45:21,875
♪ And Richie tapes ♪
1169
00:45:21,708 --> 00:45:22,708
- What's our budget?
1170
00:45:23,599 --> 00:45:24,599
♪ Stephie gonna lure
him in with her charm ♪
1171
00:45:27,336 --> 00:45:28,336
- I am?
1172
00:45:28,661 --> 00:45:29,661
♪ And once we get him walking ♪
1173
00:45:29,718 --> 00:45:30,718
♪ In the haunted and
ancient old Waylon place ♪
1174
00:45:32,620 --> 00:45:33,620
- [All] Yeah?
1175
00:45:33,849 --> 00:45:34,849
♪ Petey gonna jump on out ♪
1176
00:45:36,373 --> 00:45:37,373
♪ Jager gonna jager-out ♪
1177
00:45:38,677 --> 00:45:39,677
♪ We're gonna bully the bully ♪
1178
00:45:40,840 --> 00:45:41,840
♪ We're taking back the
schooly the schooly ♪
1179
00:45:43,462 --> 00:45:44,462
♪ We're gonna make a dirty movie ♪
1180
00:45:45,593 --> 00:45:46,593
♪ Where the losers win ♪
1181
00:45:48,217 --> 00:45:49,217
♪ And the joke is on him ♪
1182
00:45:51,142 --> 00:45:52,142
♪ We got our fealty a duty ♪
1183
00:45:53,695 --> 00:45:54,695
♪ To standing for the nerdy the prudy ♪
1184
00:45:55,711 --> 00:45:56,711
♪ Overturning and dethroning the viking ♪
1185
00:45:58,617 --> 00:45:59,617
♪ Gonna wreck his ship ♪
1186
00:46:00,898 --> 00:46:01,898
♪ We're gonna cut off his nips ♪
1187
00:46:02,316 --> 00:46:03,316
(audience laughing)
1188
00:46:04,661 --> 00:46:05,661
♪ We'll spill his guts
we'll steal his lunch ♪
1189
00:46:05,518 --> 00:46:06,518
♪ We'll beat him up ♪
1190
00:46:06,351 --> 00:46:07,351
- No!
1191
00:46:07,184 --> 00:46:08,184
♪ We're gonna be real cool ♪
1192
00:46:08,208 --> 00:46:09,208
- [All] Oh!
1193
00:46:09,468 --> 00:46:10,468
♪ To beat a Jager-man ♪
1194
00:46:10,327 --> 00:46:11,327
♪ You can't beat him
where he's most equipped ♪
1195
00:46:12,247 --> 00:46:13,247
♪ Can't beat him where
he's most equipped ♪
1196
00:46:14,608 --> 00:46:15,608
♪ He's twice our size he's maximized ♪
1197
00:46:15,842 --> 00:46:16,842
♪ But we know how to strategize ♪
1198
00:46:17,234 --> 00:46:18,234
♪ And use our tools ♪
1199
00:46:18,389 --> 00:46:19,389
♪ Oh-oh ♪
1200
00:46:19,474 --> 00:46:20,474
♪ So we're not gonna kick his ass ♪
1201
00:46:22,104 --> 00:46:23,104
♪ Do you want to conserve your mass ♪
1202
00:46:24,541 --> 00:46:25,541
♪ We're gonna kick pop splat ♪
1203
00:46:26,350 --> 00:46:27,350
♪ Be cool ♪
1204
00:46:27,183 --> 00:46:28,183
♪ We're gonna smash flam spank ♪
1205
00:46:29,105 --> 00:46:30,105
♪ Stay cool. ♪
1206
00:46:29,938 --> 00:46:30,938
♪ We're gonna voom tank swarm ♪
1207
00:46:31,382 --> 00:46:32,382
♪ No we're gonna be cool beans ♪
1208
00:46:34,322 --> 00:46:35,322
- [All] Oh.
1209
00:46:35,155 --> 00:46:36,155
♪ We're gonna keep the beans cool ♪
1210
00:46:36,877 --> 00:46:37,877
♪ We're gonna gonna keep the beans ♪
1211
00:46:38,603 --> 00:46:39,603
♪ Beans the cool keep the beans the cool ♪
1212
00:46:41,101 --> 00:46:42,101
♪ Keep the beans beans school ♪
1213
00:46:43,070 --> 00:46:44,070
Bean school? Excellent!
1214
00:46:45,688 --> 00:46:46,688
♪ We're gonna bully the bully ♪
1215
00:46:48,464 --> 00:46:49,464
♪ We're gonna gonna rule the unruly ♪
1216
00:46:51,018 --> 00:46:52,018
♪ He's gonna gonna dooky his booty ♪
1217
00:46:53,384 --> 00:46:54,384
♪ And our problem's solved ♪
♪ And our problem's solved ♪
1218
00:46:56,110 --> 00:46:57,110
♪ And the school can evolve ♪
♪ And the school can evolve ♪
1219
00:46:59,304 --> 00:47:00,304
♪ We're gonna get the jock pleading ♪
1220
00:47:01,270 --> 00:47:02,270
♪ Watch the incumbent conceding ♪
1221
00:47:03,702 --> 00:47:04,702
♪ We're gonna make the
nerdy the new thing ♪
1222
00:47:06,248 --> 00:47:07,248
♪ Pull the pin ♪
1223
00:47:07,295 --> 00:47:08,295
- Steph, get in position!
1224
00:47:08,849 --> 00:47:09,849
- Time to thicken our skin.
1225
00:47:10,225 --> 00:47:11,225
- One helluva mission.
1226
00:47:11,058 --> 00:47:12,058
♪ We'll fight sin with sin ♪
1227
00:47:12,674 --> 00:47:13,674
(all snapping fingers)
1228
00:47:13,920 --> 00:47:14,920
♪ Let the games begin ♪
1229
00:47:17,504 --> 00:47:18,504
(audience cheering and applauding)
1230
00:47:20,362 --> 00:47:21,362
- [All] Break!
1231
00:47:25,664 --> 00:47:26,664
- Oh yeah.
1232
00:47:27,177 --> 00:47:28,177
We're shootin' this prank in 4K.
1233
00:47:29,472 --> 00:47:30,472
It's gonna look beast!
1234
00:47:31,464 --> 00:47:32,464
Uh, you think I could get
any more light in here?
1235
00:47:33,716 --> 00:47:34,716
- Richie, the whole point
is that it's in the dark!
1236
00:47:36,771 --> 00:47:37,771
- Well then I'm gonna have
to shoot the whole thing
1237
00:47:38,329 --> 00:47:39,329
in a wide, and it's gonna look like shit!
1238
00:47:41,233 --> 00:47:42,233
(audience laughing)
1239
00:47:42,066 --> 00:47:43,066
- Wait! Wait!
1240
00:47:43,202 --> 00:47:44,202
No, don't take me off your call list!
1241
00:47:45,587 --> 00:47:46,587
(audience laughing)
1242
00:47:46,832 --> 00:47:47,832
No, I'm not gonna switch
my internet provider,
1243
00:47:49,428 --> 00:47:50,428
but I still wanna talk.
1244
00:47:51,760 --> 00:47:52,760
(audience laughing)
1245
00:47:54,346 --> 00:47:55,346
Hello?
1246
00:47:55,465 --> 00:47:56,465
(audience laughing)
1247
00:47:57,221 --> 00:47:58,221
Hello?
1248
00:47:59,847 --> 00:48:00,847
Hello?
1249
00:48:00,680 --> 00:48:01,680
- Who was that?
- My boyfriend.
1250
00:48:01,799 --> 00:48:02,799
(audience laughing)
1251
00:48:03,597 --> 00:48:04,597
- Sounded like a telemarketer.
1252
00:48:05,390 --> 00:48:06,390
- Okay. My ex-boyfriend.
1253
00:48:07,277 --> 00:48:08,277
(audience laughing)
1254
00:48:08,756 --> 00:48:09,756
- Well, Jagerman's on his way.
1255
00:48:10,637 --> 00:48:11,637
You ready?
1256
00:48:12,293 --> 00:48:13,293
- I don't know. I'm nervous.
1257
00:48:14,403 --> 00:48:15,403
- No, no. Don't be.
1258
00:48:15,992 --> 00:48:16,992
You got this.
1259
00:48:19,001 --> 00:48:20,001
(audience laughing)
1260
00:48:20,987 --> 00:48:21,987
- You're, like, super nice to me.
1261
00:48:25,568 --> 00:48:26,568
- Not really.
1262
00:48:26,401 --> 00:48:27,401
(audience laughing)
1263
00:48:28,110 --> 00:48:29,110
I'm just doing the bare minimum here.
1264
00:48:29,636 --> 00:48:30,636
(audience laughing)
1265
00:48:30,469 --> 00:48:31,469
- You're the best friend I've ever had.
1266
00:48:32,034 --> 00:48:33,034
- Oh, that's sad.
1267
00:48:33,909 --> 00:48:34,909
- I think I'm in love with you.
1268
00:48:36,151 --> 00:48:37,151
(audience laughing)
1269
00:48:36,984 --> 00:48:37,984
- Okay. (chuckles uncomfortably)
1270
00:48:39,067 --> 00:48:40,067
- Okay, Richie, be honest.
1271
00:48:41,739 --> 00:48:42,739
Am I reading as ghost
or Lin Manual Miranda?
1272
00:48:44,523 --> 00:48:45,523
(audience laughing and clapping)
1273
00:48:50,472 --> 00:48:51,472
- You kinda look like that
Homeless Guy from downtown.
1274
00:48:53,488 --> 00:48:54,488
(audience hollers)
1275
00:48:54,499 --> 00:48:55,499
But that could still work.
1276
00:48:55,875 --> 00:48:56,875
He gets pretty scary sometimes.
1277
00:48:58,453 --> 00:48:59,453
- Maybe I should lose the glasses. Yeah.
1278
00:49:05,331 --> 00:49:06,331
- Hey, Pete. Check it out.
1279
00:49:10,057 --> 00:49:11,057
She came all the way out
here, just to help you.
1280
00:49:15,563 --> 00:49:16,563
She's waiting for you, buddy.
1281
00:49:17,992 --> 00:49:18,992
- Really?
1282
00:49:19,845 --> 00:49:20,845
You think Steph actually likes me?
1283
00:49:23,158 --> 00:49:24,158
- No!
1284
00:49:24,414 --> 00:49:25,414
I'm talking about Ruth!
1285
00:49:26,260 --> 00:49:27,260
(audience laughing)
1286
00:49:27,093 --> 00:49:28,093
She's so fucking thirsty. Ugh.
1287
00:49:31,541 --> 00:49:32,541
I mean you could just
hit it and quit it, bro.
1288
00:49:35,939 --> 00:49:36,939
- Yeah.
1289
00:49:38,235 --> 00:49:39,235
I don't want to though.
1290
00:49:39,684 --> 00:49:40,684
(audience laughing)
1291
00:49:41,028 --> 00:49:42,028
- You're fuckin' useless, Pete!
1292
00:49:42,407 --> 00:49:43,407
- What?
1293
00:49:43,988 --> 00:49:44,988
- All right, everyone! Get to your posts!
1294
00:49:45,712 --> 00:49:46,712
Max Jagerman's coming up the walkway!
1295
00:49:47,657 --> 00:49:48,657
Operation PottyPants is about to commence!
1296
00:49:52,802 --> 00:49:53,802
(Max clears throat)
1297
00:49:54,224 --> 00:49:55,224
- I gotta piss.
1298
00:49:55,619 --> 00:49:56,619
(audience laughing)
1299
00:49:57,113 --> 00:49:58,113
(Max singing)
1300
00:50:01,298 --> 00:50:02,298
Whoa.
1301
00:50:03,298 --> 00:50:04,298
Hey, Steph! It's the Jagermeister!
1302
00:50:06,923 --> 00:50:07,923
Ha-ha!
1303
00:50:08,474 --> 00:50:09,474
I brought the brews!
1304
00:50:10,452 --> 00:50:11,452
- [Grace] Ruth, cue the sound effects.
1305
00:50:12,455 --> 00:50:13,455
(eerie music)
(crow cawing)
1306
00:50:16,545 --> 00:50:17,545
- Oh shit.
1307
00:50:17,859 --> 00:50:18,859
(audience laughing)
1308
00:50:19,567 --> 00:50:20,567
Where's that creepy music coming from?
1309
00:50:23,124 --> 00:50:24,124
What kind of a party is this?
1310
00:50:26,472 --> 00:50:27,472
Steph?
1311
00:50:28,339 --> 00:50:29,339
Kyle?
1312
00:50:30,887 --> 00:50:31,887
Brenda, if you're gonna surprise me,
1313
00:50:32,857 --> 00:50:33,857
do it al-fuckin'-ready,
I gotta take a piss!
1314
00:50:36,216 --> 00:50:37,216
- [Pete] Max.
1315
00:50:39,809 --> 00:50:40,809
- Who's there?
1316
00:50:40,980 --> 00:50:41,980
- [Pate] Max Jagerman.
1317
00:50:45,567 --> 00:50:46,567
- What?
1318
00:50:46,894 --> 00:50:47,894
- You have disturbed the
spirits of Waylon Hall.
1319
00:50:52,673 --> 00:50:53,673
Now your soul shall be ours.
1320
00:50:56,789 --> 00:50:57,789
- Oh shit!
1321
00:50:58,480 --> 00:50:59,480
Oh fuck, it's a fucking ghost!
1322
00:51:01,897 --> 00:51:02,897
- This is awesome, Grace. It's working!
1323
00:51:03,999 --> 00:51:04,999
- I always knew you fuckers were real!
1324
00:51:07,882 --> 00:51:08,882
I've been scared of you my whole life.
1325
00:51:10,899 --> 00:51:11,899
But it's time to stop running.
1326
00:51:12,681 --> 00:51:13,681
(audience laughs)
1327
00:51:15,197 --> 00:51:16,197
(beer can crunches)
(Max grunts)
1328
00:51:17,315 --> 00:51:18,315
Float over here, ghost!
1329
00:51:18,416 --> 00:51:19,416
I'm gonna kick your fucking ass!
1330
00:51:21,606 --> 00:51:22,606
- Uh, Grace, we got a problem.
1331
00:51:24,302 --> 00:51:25,302
- [Grace] What? Is he not buying it?
1332
00:51:26,078 --> 00:51:27,078
- No, he thinks the ghost is real.
1333
00:51:27,640 --> 00:51:28,640
He's just really fuckin' brave!
1334
00:51:29,614 --> 00:51:30,614
(audience laughing)
1335
00:51:30,772 --> 00:51:31,772
- Uh, you can't fight me.
1336
00:51:33,603 --> 00:51:34,603
I'm an ethereal being, so.
1337
00:51:36,287 --> 00:51:37,287
- We'll see about that.
1338
00:51:37,715 --> 00:51:38,715
I'm gonna make you say boo-hoo, bitch!
1339
00:51:40,200 --> 00:51:41,200
(Max yells)
(Pete screams)
1340
00:51:43,462 --> 00:51:44,462
Yes!
1341
00:51:45,014 --> 00:51:46,014
I make the dead run in fear!
1342
00:51:47,514 --> 00:51:48,514
I am Jagerman!
1343
00:51:49,042 --> 00:51:50,042
I am a god!
1344
00:51:51,097 --> 00:51:52,097
Go Nighthawks!
1345
00:51:53,850 --> 00:51:54,850
- The ghost ran! Send in the skeleton!
1346
00:51:57,279 --> 00:51:58,279
(Ruth shrieking)
1347
00:51:59,073 --> 00:52:00,073
(audience laughing)
1348
00:52:00,048 --> 00:52:01,048
- Oh shit!
1349
00:52:01,477 --> 00:52:02,477
Oh fuck!
1350
00:52:02,986 --> 00:52:03,986
I didn't think there'd be a skeleton here!
1351
00:52:06,335 --> 00:52:07,335
I'm so fucking scared of skeletons!
1352
00:52:09,406 --> 00:52:10,406
(audience laughing)
1353
00:52:10,984 --> 00:52:11,984
Maybe I should just run.
1354
00:52:12,769 --> 00:52:13,769
Where, Max?
1355
00:52:13,602 --> 00:52:14,602
Back home so Dad can
call you a little cuck?
1356
00:52:16,138 --> 00:52:17,138
Can't even fight off one, lousy skeleton?
1357
00:52:20,069 --> 00:52:21,069
No.
1358
00:52:21,443 --> 00:52:22,443
I got no choice.
1359
00:52:23,636 --> 00:52:24,636
Hey, skeleton!
1360
00:52:25,107 --> 00:52:26,107
I got a bone to pick with you, bitch!
1361
00:52:27,340 --> 00:52:28,340
(audience laughing)
1362
00:52:28,195 --> 00:52:29,195
Come here!
1363
00:52:29,201 --> 00:52:30,201
(Max growls)
(Ruth shrieks)
1364
00:52:30,034 --> 00:52:31,034
- Grace, we gotta abort
the plan! It's not working!
1365
00:52:32,480 --> 00:52:33,480
- It's working for me. He's so violent!
1366
00:52:35,421 --> 00:52:36,421
(Max grunting)
1367
00:52:36,254 --> 00:52:37,254
- Max, stop!
1368
00:52:37,644 --> 00:52:38,644
(Ruth yelps)
1369
00:52:38,592 --> 00:52:39,592
(audience laughing)
1370
00:52:39,823 --> 00:52:40,823
- Steph, we can't have a party here.
1371
00:52:42,330 --> 00:52:43,330
This place is hella haunted!
1372
00:52:44,954 --> 00:52:45,954
Get behind me. I'll protect you.
1373
00:52:46,611 --> 00:52:47,611
- No. No!
1374
00:52:47,444 --> 00:52:48,444
It's not real, stupid!
1375
00:52:49,861 --> 00:52:50,861
It's not a ghost.
1376
00:52:52,199 --> 00:52:53,199
It's Peter Spankoffski.
1377
00:52:55,147 --> 00:52:56,147
This was all a prank,
1378
00:52:56,589 --> 00:52:57,589
s trick to scare the shit out of you,
1379
00:52:58,764 --> 00:52:59,764
'cause you deserve it.
1380
00:53:02,468 --> 00:53:03,468
- What?
1381
00:53:04,050 --> 00:53:05,050
You're telling me you nerds
1382
00:53:05,298 --> 00:53:06,298
put this whole thing together just for me?
1383
00:53:10,544 --> 00:53:11,544
Wow.
1384
00:53:13,085 --> 00:53:14,085
I thought you guys hated me.
1385
00:53:15,881 --> 00:53:16,881
(audience laughing)
1386
00:53:19,937 --> 00:53:20,937
But thanks.
1387
00:53:23,024 --> 00:53:24,024
(audience laughing)
1388
00:53:24,939 --> 00:53:25,939
This was really great.
1389
00:53:26,291 --> 00:53:27,291
(audience laughing)
1390
00:53:29,874 --> 00:53:30,874
- You're not pissed?
1391
00:53:31,853 --> 00:53:32,853
- Oh! Are you kidding?
1392
00:53:34,552 --> 00:53:35,552
No no, no, this is like the nicest thing
1393
00:53:36,746 --> 00:53:37,746
anyone's ever done for me.
1394
00:53:38,462 --> 00:53:39,462
(audience aahs)
1395
00:53:39,748 --> 00:53:40,748
When the ghost came out
and my heart was like...
1396
00:53:42,677 --> 00:53:43,677
(mimics heart pounding)
1397
00:53:44,642 --> 00:53:45,642
Oh! And the skeleton.
1398
00:53:47,452 --> 00:53:48,452
Oh.
1399
00:53:49,181 --> 00:53:50,181
That was really special.
1400
00:53:50,850 --> 00:53:51,850
(audience laughing)
1401
00:53:52,747 --> 00:53:53,747
(audience cheering and clapping)
1402
00:53:58,946 --> 00:53:59,946
Ya know, maybe I had you
guys figured all wrong.
1403
00:54:01,935 --> 00:54:02,935
Ya know?
1404
00:54:03,142 --> 00:54:04,142
I thought you were a bunch of nerds,
1405
00:54:04,478 --> 00:54:05,478
but you guys throw one hell of a party!
1406
00:54:07,522 --> 00:54:08,522
(wood snaps)
(Max screams)
1407
00:54:09,694 --> 00:54:10,694
(Max grunting)
(body tumbling)
1408
00:54:13,488 --> 00:54:14,488
(all groan)
1409
00:54:17,483 --> 00:54:18,483
- Max?
1410
00:54:18,896 --> 00:54:19,896
Oh my god!
1411
00:54:19,948 --> 00:54:20,948
Max!
1412
00:54:20,781 --> 00:54:21,781
I told you this place
wasn't structurally sound!
1413
00:54:22,815 --> 00:54:23,815
He just fell like three stories!
1414
00:54:25,105 --> 00:54:26,105
- Come on!
1415
00:54:26,270 --> 00:54:27,270
- Oh heck. Oh heck, no!
1416
00:54:28,570 --> 00:54:29,570
(dramatic music)
(Max whimpering)
1417
00:54:31,282 --> 00:54:32,282
(Max groaning)
1418
00:54:34,333 --> 00:54:35,333
- Look what you fuckin' nerds made me do!
1419
00:54:38,294 --> 00:54:39,294
I pissed my fucking pants!
1420
00:54:41,339 --> 00:54:42,339
(audience laughing)
1421
00:54:43,366 --> 00:54:44,366
- Mission accomplished?
1422
00:54:46,088 --> 00:54:47,088
- Max, don't move, okay? We're gonna-
1423
00:54:48,129 --> 00:54:49,129
- Shut up, Steph!
1424
00:54:49,711 --> 00:54:50,711
You're just like these fuckin' losers!
1425
00:54:52,235 --> 00:54:53,235
I'm gonna kill you all!
1426
00:54:54,610 --> 00:54:55,610
Nerdy prudes must pay!
1427
00:54:59,282 --> 00:55:00,282
(Max gasping)
1428
00:55:00,931 --> 00:55:01,931
Nerdy!
1429
00:55:02,984 --> 00:55:03,984
Prudes!
1430
00:55:05,451 --> 00:55:06,451
Must!
1431
00:55:06,864 --> 00:55:07,864
(Max wheezes)
1432
00:55:08,932 --> 00:55:09,932
Die!
1433
00:55:10,667 --> 00:55:11,667
(Max choking)
1434
00:55:16,602 --> 00:55:17,602
- Max?
1435
00:55:19,454 --> 00:55:20,454
Max?
1436
00:55:20,735 --> 00:55:21,735
- [Peter] Holy shit. We killed him!
1437
00:55:22,864 --> 00:55:23,864
- [Richard] Oh my god! Oh my god!
1438
00:55:25,709 --> 00:55:26,709
- My pits!
1439
00:55:26,542 --> 00:55:27,542
- No, no, no, this was an accident.
1440
00:55:29,387 --> 00:55:30,387
The video will show!
1441
00:55:30,734 --> 00:55:31,734
Yeah!
1442
00:55:31,567 --> 00:55:32,567
The video will show this
was clearly an accident!
1443
00:55:34,037 --> 00:55:35,037
- Uh, I actually didn't get the fall.
1444
00:55:37,044 --> 00:55:38,044
But I did get a lot of
incriminating footage
1445
00:55:39,313 --> 00:55:40,313
of us luring him here
with malicious intent!
1446
00:55:41,741 --> 00:55:42,741
- Oh, that's gonna make
us look even more guilty!
1447
00:55:45,860 --> 00:55:46,860
- My god! We're going to jail!
1448
00:55:48,791 --> 00:55:49,791
And with my luck,
1449
00:55:49,938 --> 00:55:50,938
no one will even bother
making me their bitch!
1450
00:55:52,723 --> 00:55:53,723
(audience laughing)
1451
00:55:53,762 --> 00:55:54,762
- No. No, we're not going to jail!
1452
00:55:56,331 --> 00:55:57,331
- Really, Steph?
1453
00:55:57,830 --> 00:55:58,830
Because we murdered a football star
1454
00:55:59,730 --> 00:56:00,730
right before the big game!
1455
00:56:01,042 --> 00:56:02,042
- This wasn't murder!
1456
00:56:04,656 --> 00:56:05,656
And it wasn't an accident.
1457
00:56:07,353 --> 00:56:08,353
It was an act of God.
1458
00:56:08,859 --> 00:56:09,859
(audience laughing)
1459
00:56:10,925 --> 00:56:11,925
Max Jagerman was a perv,
1460
00:56:13,534 --> 00:56:14,534
and now he's rotting in hell for it.
1461
00:56:15,955 --> 00:56:16,955
- Oh yeah, like that's gonna fly in court.
1462
00:56:19,089 --> 00:56:20,089
He was smote!
1463
00:56:20,413 --> 00:56:21,413
- We're not going to court.
1464
00:56:21,900 --> 00:56:22,900
- Grace, I don't know
what you're talking about,
1465
00:56:23,536 --> 00:56:24,536
but we have to tell the police about this.
1466
00:56:25,220 --> 00:56:26,220
- Why?
1467
00:56:26,513 --> 00:56:27,513
Max Jagerman was a
menace, and now he's gone.
1468
00:56:30,839 --> 00:56:31,839
No more teasing. No more bullying.
1469
00:56:33,347 --> 00:56:34,347
No more tickle in our mommy spots.
1470
00:56:35,969 --> 00:56:36,969
(audience laughing)
1471
00:56:37,618 --> 00:56:38,618
Don't you see?
1472
00:56:39,254 --> 00:56:40,254
We're free.
1473
00:56:40,783 --> 00:56:41,783
- But won't people notice he's gone?
1474
00:56:44,052 --> 00:56:45,052
- This is Hatchetfield.
1475
00:56:45,746 --> 00:56:46,746
People go missing everyday.
1476
00:56:47,668 --> 00:56:48,668
(audience laughing)
1477
00:56:48,501 --> 00:56:49,501
(race snapping fingers)
(upbeat music)
1478
00:56:49,334 --> 00:56:50,334
- Oh no. She's snapping again!
1479
00:56:52,370 --> 00:56:53,370
♪ We're gonna bury the body ♪
1480
00:56:54,854 --> 00:56:55,854
♪ Right here in the lobby ♪
1481
00:56:57,414 --> 00:56:58,414
♪ Underneath the wooden flooring ♪
1482
00:56:59,376 --> 00:57:00,376
♪ Where his corpse will rot ♪
1483
00:57:02,305 --> 00:57:03,305
- This is a lot.
1484
00:57:05,023 --> 00:57:06,023
♪ We're gonna hack all his limbs off ♪
1485
00:57:07,741 --> 00:57:08,741
- Did you say hack all his limbs off?
1486
00:57:09,970 --> 00:57:10,970
♪ Yeah we're gonna hack
all his limbs off ♪
1487
00:57:12,025 --> 00:57:13,025
Can you stop saying it?
1488
00:57:14,508 --> 00:57:15,508
♪ How else he gonna fit ♪
1489
00:57:18,212 --> 00:57:19,212
♪ Petey grab the hatchet ♪
1490
00:57:19,076 --> 00:57:20,076
♪ Ruthie you can grab the acid ♪
1491
00:57:20,311 --> 00:57:21,311
♪ And Stephie tapes ♪
1492
00:57:21,634 --> 00:57:22,634
You want me to film this?
1493
00:57:22,748 --> 00:57:23,748
♪ We're gonna tape him up in plastic ♪
1494
00:57:24,173 --> 00:57:25,173
♪ After dousing him with the bleach ♪
1495
00:57:25,993 --> 00:57:26,993
♪ Tape him up after dousin' with bleach ♪
1496
00:57:28,308 --> 00:57:29,308
- I think I'm gonna throw up.
1497
00:57:29,301 --> 00:57:30,301
♪ No this is when you grow up ♪
1498
00:57:30,689 --> 00:57:31,689
♪ And accept your fate ♪
1499
00:57:31,884 --> 00:57:32,884
♪ Ah ♪
1500
00:57:33,018 --> 00:57:34,018
♪ You wanna get the fullest ride ♪
1501
00:57:35,553 --> 00:57:36,553
♪ Then start cutting
right above the thigh ♪
1502
00:57:38,279 --> 00:57:39,279
♪ We're gonna bury the bully ♪
1503
00:57:40,466 --> 00:57:41,466
♪ We're gonna go to juvie surely ♪
1504
00:57:43,309 --> 00:57:44,309
♪ I hear prison is cushy ♪
1505
00:57:45,317 --> 00:57:46,317
♪ Oh my asthma is back ♪
1506
00:57:46,554 --> 00:57:47,554
♪ He'll never be found ♪
1507
00:57:47,875 --> 00:57:48,875
♪ It's not like we're selling crack ♪
1508
00:57:49,207 --> 00:57:50,207
♪ I'm gonna strip him down ♪
1509
00:57:50,578 --> 00:57:51,578
- Why?
1510
00:57:51,411 --> 00:57:52,411
♪ We're gonna bury the bully ♪
1511
00:57:53,278 --> 00:57:54,278
♪ We gotta gotta line up our stories ♪
1512
00:57:55,781 --> 00:57:56,781
♪ It's gonna gonna never haunt me ♪
1513
00:57:58,070 --> 00:57:59,070
♪ 'Cause he's already dead ♪
1514
00:57:59,454 --> 00:58:00,454
♪ No one's gonna snitch ♪
1515
00:58:00,459 --> 00:58:01,459
♪ Hide him from the Feds ♪
1516
00:58:01,954 --> 00:58:02,954
♪ Can't we say he slipped ♪
1517
00:58:02,980 --> 00:58:03,980
(overlapping clamoring)
1518
00:58:05,580 --> 00:58:06,580
♪ I just cut off his nips ♪
1519
00:58:08,229 --> 00:58:09,229
(audience laughing and clapping)
1520
00:58:12,556 --> 00:58:13,556
(television static crackling)
1521
00:58:15,297 --> 00:58:16,297
(television beeping)
1522
00:58:18,029 --> 00:58:19,029
- [Reporter] This is
Hatchetfield Action News
1523
00:58:20,627 --> 00:58:21,627
with Dan and Donna!
1524
00:58:23,728 --> 00:58:24,728
- [Donna] It's been two
weeks since the disappearance
1525
00:58:25,842 --> 00:58:26,842
of local football star Maxwell Jagerman,
1526
00:58:29,294 --> 00:58:30,294
and the teen's whereabouts
still remain a mystery.
1527
00:58:32,681 --> 00:58:33,681
- [Dan] Earlier today at city hall,
1528
00:58:34,664 --> 00:58:35,664
Mayor Solomon Lauter
issued this statement.
1529
00:58:39,111 --> 00:58:40,111
- The disappearance of young Mr. Jagerman
1530
00:58:41,334 --> 00:58:42,334
has rocked this community
to its very core.
1531
00:58:44,104 --> 00:58:45,104
But you can rest assured
1532
00:58:45,217 --> 00:58:46,217
I have made every possible
resource available
1533
00:58:49,047 --> 00:58:50,047
to the coach of the
Hatchetfield Nighthawks.
1534
00:58:52,340 --> 00:58:53,340
I will not let the absence of one boy
1535
00:58:55,243 --> 00:58:56,243
affect our team's
performance in the big game.
1536
00:58:58,073 --> 00:58:59,073
The Nighthawks will be
take the field tonight,
1537
00:59:00,189 --> 00:59:01,189
and they will win.
1538
00:59:02,863 --> 00:59:03,863
Go Nighthawks!
1539
00:59:04,653 --> 00:59:05,653
(crowd cheering)
1540
00:59:07,801 --> 00:59:08,801
- [Donna] Inspiring words
in this time of need.
1541
00:59:10,736 --> 00:59:11,736
We can only hope they bring some comfort
1542
00:59:13,024 --> 00:59:14,024
to Max's classmates,
1543
00:59:14,652 --> 00:59:15,652
who have already endured
two weeks of heartache.
1544
00:59:18,811 --> 00:59:19,811
(students kissing)
1545
00:59:21,206 --> 00:59:22,206
(Kyle laughs)
1546
00:59:22,518 --> 00:59:23,518
This has been the best
two weeks of my life!
1547
00:59:25,879 --> 00:59:26,879
Who'da thunk the absence
of one negative influence
1548
00:59:28,547 --> 00:59:29,547
could make us all so much happier?
1549
00:59:30,709 --> 00:59:31,709
(audience laughing)
1550
00:59:31,542 --> 00:59:32,542
- I know, right?
1551
00:59:32,843 --> 00:59:33,843
I can't wait to watch
you play tonight, Kyle.
1552
00:59:34,814 --> 00:59:35,814
- And I can't wait to watch you cheer.
1553
00:59:36,880 --> 00:59:37,880
Ya know, cheering takes just as much skill
1554
00:59:39,200 --> 00:59:40,200
as football does.
1555
00:59:40,422 --> 00:59:41,422
Sometimes I think you're the main event,
1556
00:59:43,162 --> 00:59:44,162
and we're just there to support you gals.
1557
00:59:45,865 --> 00:59:46,865
(audience aahing)
1558
00:59:47,193 --> 00:59:48,193
- You're so hot when you're sweet.
1559
00:59:48,897 --> 00:59:49,897
- Thank god Max is gone.
1560
00:59:50,994 --> 00:59:51,994
- Wasn't he your friend?
1561
00:59:51,894 --> 00:59:52,894
- Yeah, but he forbade me from dating,
1562
00:59:54,605 --> 00:59:55,605
and he wrecked my dad's Ski-Doo.
1563
00:59:57,719 --> 00:59:58,719
Fuck that guy!
1564
00:59:59,055 --> 01:00:00,055
- Good for you, babe.
1565
01:00:00,601 --> 01:00:01,601
- Hey Pete, wait up!
1566
01:00:02,870 --> 01:00:03,870
Good news.
1567
01:00:04,028 --> 01:00:05,028
- You passed the test?
1568
01:00:05,480 --> 01:00:06,480
- With flying colors.
1569
01:00:06,957 --> 01:00:07,957
- Oh-ho! A...
1570
01:00:09,250 --> 01:00:10,250
C+. Steph, that's amazing!
1571
01:00:12,440 --> 01:00:13,440
- My dad couldn't believe it.
1572
01:00:13,859 --> 01:00:14,859
Got my phone back and everything.
1573
01:00:16,657 --> 01:00:17,657
- And I couldn't have done it without you.
1574
01:00:19,803 --> 01:00:20,803
Helping me study these past two weeks.
1575
01:00:21,370 --> 01:00:22,370
Ya know this is really your C+.
1576
01:00:24,670 --> 01:00:25,670
- Oh, Steph. You can keep it.
1577
01:00:27,791 --> 01:00:28,791
(audience laughing)
1578
01:00:29,585 --> 01:00:30,585
It'd really bring down my GPA.
1579
01:00:31,082 --> 01:00:32,082
(Steph laughs)
1580
01:00:32,313 --> 01:00:33,313
- You're such a nerd, Spankoffski.
1581
01:00:34,477 --> 01:00:35,477
(soft music)
1582
01:00:36,558 --> 01:00:37,558
- Wow.
1583
01:00:38,649 --> 01:00:39,649
That's the first time
anyone's called me a nerd
1584
01:00:40,415 --> 01:00:41,415
since that night.
1585
01:00:46,661 --> 01:00:47,661
Steph, I'm trying to feel
bad about what we did,
1586
01:00:49,332 --> 01:00:50,332
but it is really hard to do that
1587
01:00:52,026 --> 01:00:53,026
when everything is objectively better.
1588
01:00:54,235 --> 01:00:55,235
(audience laughing)
1589
01:00:55,896 --> 01:00:56,896
- Yeah, it's weird.
1590
01:00:58,844 --> 01:00:59,844
But maybe it's for the best?
1591
01:01:02,536 --> 01:01:03,536
So, you going to the big game tonight?
1592
01:01:05,365 --> 01:01:06,365
- Oh, no.
1593
01:01:06,198 --> 01:01:07,198
Jagerman doesn't let
nerds go to football...
1594
01:01:09,613 --> 01:01:10,613
Huh.
1595
01:01:11,975 --> 01:01:12,975
You know, maybe I will.
1596
01:01:14,280 --> 01:01:15,280
I've never been to a football game before.
1597
01:01:15,958 --> 01:01:16,958
- Ugh, they're really boring.
1598
01:01:17,751 --> 01:01:18,751
And both teams kinda suck.
1599
01:01:19,218 --> 01:01:20,218
But we could go sarcastically.
1600
01:01:22,493 --> 01:01:23,493
You know, get some popcorn.
1601
01:01:25,374 --> 01:01:26,374
Might be cool.
1602
01:01:27,944 --> 01:01:28,944
- You mean like go together?
1603
01:01:31,503 --> 01:01:32,503
- If you want.
1604
01:01:35,263 --> 01:01:36,263
- Okay.
1605
01:01:37,042 --> 01:01:38,042
- Okay.
1606
01:01:38,522 --> 01:01:39,522
Cool.
1607
01:01:40,436 --> 01:01:41,436
I'll see you there.
1608
01:01:41,674 --> 01:01:42,674
- Yeah, yeah! I'll see you there.
1609
01:01:44,561 --> 01:01:45,561
(audience laughing)
1610
01:01:47,525 --> 01:01:48,525
Wow!
1611
01:01:49,508 --> 01:01:50,508
Things really are different around here.
1612
01:01:52,401 --> 01:01:53,401
The trees are greener!
1613
01:01:54,236 --> 01:01:55,236
The sun's brighter!
1614
01:01:56,005 --> 01:01:57,005
And I'm going to the big game!
1615
01:01:58,160 --> 01:01:59,160
Fuck yeah!
1616
01:01:59,739 --> 01:02:00,739
Go Nighthawks!
1617
01:02:01,382 --> 01:02:02,382
(upbeat music)
(audience cheering)
1618
01:02:03,820 --> 01:02:04,820
♪ It's like the first day of school yeah ♪
1619
01:02:06,858 --> 01:02:07,858
♪ The hallway's shiny and full of life ♪
1620
01:02:09,919 --> 01:02:10,919
- Hey Ruth!
- Hey Ruth!
1621
01:02:10,925 --> 01:02:11,925
♪ So full of life ♪
1622
01:02:13,008 --> 01:02:14,008
- Hey Ruth, your headgear is fire today!
1623
01:02:15,330 --> 01:02:16,330
- Thanks!
1624
01:02:16,163 --> 01:02:17,163
♪ It's like the start of a new year ♪
1625
01:02:18,789 --> 01:02:19,789
♪ Got a resolution to social climb ♪
1626
01:02:21,904 --> 01:02:22,904
- Wanna join the swim team?
1627
01:02:22,962 --> 01:02:23,962
♪ And go to class on time ♪
1628
01:02:25,047 --> 01:02:26,047
- You're early today, Mr. Lipschitz.
1629
01:02:26,644 --> 01:02:27,644
♪ I never thought I
could open up my locker ♪
1630
01:02:30,179 --> 01:02:31,179
♪ Without the fear running through me ♪
1631
01:02:33,151 --> 01:02:34,151
♪ And now I don't eat all by myself ♪
1632
01:02:38,471 --> 01:02:39,471
♪ Go go Nighthawks ♪
1633
01:02:39,769 --> 01:02:40,769
♪ We'll take the fight ♪
1634
01:02:40,884 --> 01:02:41,884
♪ Unto the victors go the spoils ♪
1635
01:02:44,442 --> 01:02:45,442
♪ Go go Nighthawks ♪
1636
01:02:45,638 --> 01:02:46,638
♪ We're taking flight ♪
1637
01:02:47,149 --> 01:02:48,149
♪ We are the leaders and the royals ♪
1638
01:02:49,960 --> 01:02:50,960
(all squawk)
1639
01:02:52,345 --> 01:02:53,345
♪ Who knew football's a team game ♪
1640
01:02:54,318 --> 01:02:55,318
(football players grunt)
1641
01:02:55,151 --> 01:02:56,151
♪ Who needs a star
quarterback to air it out ♪
1642
01:02:58,449 --> 01:02:59,449
♪ Or whip you with a saturated towel ♪
1643
01:03:01,550 --> 01:03:02,550
♪ No more bully ball ♪
1644
01:03:04,475 --> 01:03:05,475
♪ We're all givin' the butt slaps ♪
1645
01:03:07,351 --> 01:03:08,351
♪ With consent of course 'cause we care ♪
1646
01:03:10,855 --> 01:03:11,855
♪ There's a trust in the locker room air ♪
1647
01:03:13,659 --> 01:03:14,659
♪ We're taking back the halls ♪
1648
01:03:15,581 --> 01:03:16,581
♪ I never thought I could
walk into a bathroom ♪
1649
01:03:18,727 --> 01:03:19,727
♪ Without the fear of a swirly ♪
1650
01:03:21,670 --> 01:03:22,670
♪ And now I can pee all by myself ♪
1651
01:03:26,936 --> 01:03:27,936
♪ Go go Nighthawks ♪
1652
01:03:28,229 --> 01:03:29,229
♪ We'll take the fight ♪
1653
01:03:29,590 --> 01:03:30,590
♪ Unto the victors go the spoils ♪
1654
01:03:32,284 --> 01:03:33,284
♪ Fly with us ♪
1655
01:03:33,150 --> 01:03:34,150
♪ Go go Nighthawks we're taking flight ♪
1656
01:03:35,776 --> 01:03:36,776
♪ We are the leaders and the royals ♪
1657
01:03:39,442 --> 01:03:40,442
♪ I never thought I could open ♪
1658
01:03:40,275 --> 01:03:41,275
♪ up my locker ♪
♪ I never thought I could keep ♪
1659
01:03:42,420 --> 01:03:43,420
♪ My lunch money ♪
1660
01:03:43,625 --> 01:03:44,625
♪ In Hatchetfield High School ♪
1661
01:03:45,596 --> 01:03:46,596
♪ And now I know that
from now I'll be free! ♪
1662
01:03:51,402 --> 01:03:52,402
♪ N ♪
1663
01:03:52,421 --> 01:03:53,421
♪ I-G ♪
1664
01:03:53,961 --> 01:03:54,961
♪ H-T ♪
1665
01:03:55,444 --> 01:03:56,444
(cheerleaders squawk)
1666
01:03:56,690 --> 01:03:57,690
♪ Ks ♪
1667
01:03:57,523 --> 01:03:58,523
♪ N ♪
1668
01:03:58,481 --> 01:03:59,481
♪ I-G ♪
1669
01:04:00,055 --> 01:04:01,055
♪ H-T ♪
1670
01:04:01,473 --> 01:04:02,473
(all squawk)
1671
01:04:02,708 --> 01:04:03,708
♪ Ks ♪
1672
01:04:03,541 --> 01:04:04,541
♪ N ♪
- Nighthawks!
1673
01:04:04,624 --> 01:04:05,624
♪ I-G ♪
Nighthawks!
1674
01:04:06,228 --> 01:04:07,228
♪ H-T ♪
Nighthawks!
1675
01:04:07,630 --> 01:04:08,630
(all squawk)
1676
01:04:08,463 --> 01:04:09,463
♪ Ks ♪
Fly!
1677
01:04:09,590 --> 01:04:10,590
♪ N ♪
- Nighthawks!
1678
01:04:10,913 --> 01:04:11,913
♪ I-G ♪
Nighthawks!
1679
01:04:12,240 --> 01:04:13,240
♪ H-T ♪
Nighthawks!
1680
01:04:13,774 --> 01:04:14,774
(all squawk)
1681
01:04:14,889 --> 01:04:15,889
♪ Ks ♪
Fly!
1682
01:04:15,722 --> 01:04:16,722
♪ N ♪
- Nighthawks!
1683
01:04:16,886 --> 01:04:17,886
♪ I-G ♪
Nighthawks!
1684
01:04:18,355 --> 01:04:19,355
♪ H-T ♪
Nighthawks!
1685
01:04:19,767 --> 01:04:20,767
(all squawk)
1686
01:04:20,898 --> 01:04:21,898
Fight!
1687
01:04:21,731 --> 01:04:22,731
- [Announcer] And now
welcome onto the field
1688
01:04:23,710 --> 01:04:24,710
tonight's opponent, the
Clivesdale Chemists!
1689
01:04:26,879 --> 01:04:27,879
(energetic music)
1690
01:04:28,128 --> 01:04:29,128
♪ Fuck you Clivesdale go get fucked ♪
1691
01:04:30,861 --> 01:04:31,861
♪ You're fucking losers
and we'll kill you ♪
1692
01:04:33,308 --> 01:04:34,308
♪ Kill your ass ♪
1693
01:04:34,141 --> 01:04:35,141
♪ Fly fly Nighthawks into the night ♪
1694
01:04:36,967 --> 01:04:37,967
♪ We're flying higher ♪
1695
01:04:38,430 --> 01:04:39,430
♪ High above you! ♪
♪ Go get fucked ♪
1696
01:04:39,912 --> 01:04:40,912
♪ Watch us fly! ♪
- Nighthawks!
1697
01:04:42,438 --> 01:04:43,438
Nighthawks!
1698
01:04:43,450 --> 01:04:44,450
♪ Nighthawks fly ♪
1699
01:04:45,159 --> 01:04:46,159
(all squawk)
1700
01:04:46,553 --> 01:04:47,553
(audience cheering and clapping)
1701
01:04:52,561 --> 01:04:53,561
- Yeah!
- Woo!
1702
01:04:53,615 --> 01:04:54,615
(football players hollering)
1703
01:04:55,758 --> 01:04:56,758
- Yeah, all right, Nighthawks!
1704
01:04:57,334 --> 01:04:58,334
Huddle up! Woo!
1705
01:05:00,073 --> 01:05:01,073
This is it, gang. The big game.
1706
01:05:02,040 --> 01:05:03,040
Who's ready to cream some Chemists?
1707
01:05:03,784 --> 01:05:04,784
- Let's go!
(cheerleaders cheering)
1708
01:05:04,617 --> 01:05:05,617
Fuck Clivesdale!
1709
01:05:06,803 --> 01:05:07,803
- I can't express how
proud I am of this team.
1710
01:05:09,384 --> 01:05:10,384
Over the past two weeks,
we've come together
1711
01:05:11,164 --> 01:05:12,164
in a way I couldn't have imagined.
1712
01:05:12,910 --> 01:05:13,910
But I'd especially like to acknowledge
1713
01:05:14,610 --> 01:05:15,610
one vital member of the team
1714
01:05:16,784 --> 01:05:17,784
who's gone neglected for far too long.
1715
01:05:20,051 --> 01:05:21,051
Zeek the Fightin' Nighthawk!
1716
01:05:22,913 --> 01:05:23,913
(all cheering)
1717
01:05:24,436 --> 01:05:25,436
- Right there, right there, right there!
1718
01:05:26,075 --> 01:05:27,075
- Richie, get over here!
1719
01:05:27,402 --> 01:05:28,402
(crowd clapping)
1720
01:05:29,886 --> 01:05:30,886
- Really?
1721
01:05:30,728 --> 01:05:31,728
You want me in the huddle?
1722
01:05:32,521 --> 01:05:33,521
- We don't want you here.
1723
01:05:34,491 --> 01:05:35,491
We need you here.
1724
01:05:36,142 --> 01:05:37,142
(audience aahing)
1725
01:05:37,278 --> 01:05:38,278
- Wow.
1726
01:05:38,111 --> 01:05:39,111
(sentimental music)
1727
01:05:40,909 --> 01:05:41,909
- Whenever I feel like
throwing in the towel,
1728
01:05:43,230 --> 01:05:44,230
I just look over at the sidelines.
1729
01:05:45,533 --> 01:05:46,533
And there you are, dancing,
1730
01:05:47,568 --> 01:05:48,568
falling all over the yourself.
1731
01:05:49,197 --> 01:05:50,197
(audience laughing)
1732
01:05:50,241 --> 01:05:51,241
Reminds me why I love this game.
1733
01:05:52,499 --> 01:05:53,499
Richie, we're sorry for bullying
you for all those years.
1734
01:05:54,934 --> 01:05:55,934
- Yeah! Sorry.
1735
01:05:57,245 --> 01:05:58,245
- And we'd like to apologize in advance
1736
01:05:59,701 --> 01:06:00,701
for if Max ever comes back,
1737
01:06:00,937 --> 01:06:01,937
'cause we'll probably go
right back to doing it.
1738
01:06:02,908 --> 01:06:03,908
(audience laughing)
1739
01:06:04,008 --> 01:06:05,008
- I don't think we'll have to
worry about Max ever again.
1740
01:06:07,626 --> 01:06:08,626
- Now what I'm about to say
next might sound like bullying,
1741
01:06:09,818 --> 01:06:10,818
but I promise you it's not.
1742
01:06:11,885 --> 01:06:12,885
We appreciate you warming
up the crowd and everything,
1743
01:06:14,420 --> 01:06:15,420
but now we'd love for you to take a shower
1744
01:06:16,233 --> 01:06:17,233
and air out that suit,
1745
01:06:17,332 --> 01:06:18,332
'cause you smell like an
open asshole right now.
1746
01:06:19,344 --> 01:06:20,344
(audience laughing)
1747
01:06:20,254 --> 01:06:21,254
No offense.
1748
01:06:21,237 --> 01:06:22,237
- None taken.
1749
01:06:22,070 --> 01:06:23,070
I have overactive sweat glands.
1750
01:06:24,374 --> 01:06:25,374
- We understand. We support and love you.
1751
01:06:26,125 --> 01:06:27,125
But you fucking reek, man.
1752
01:06:28,612 --> 01:06:29,612
Hit the showers, Shit-lips.
1753
01:06:30,766 --> 01:06:31,766
- You got it, Jace!
1754
01:06:31,940 --> 01:06:32,940
- Let's go!
1755
01:06:33,046 --> 01:06:34,046
- See you at half-time!
1756
01:06:35,260 --> 01:06:36,260
- Go get 'em!
1757
01:06:37,205 --> 01:06:38,205
Go get 'em, Nighthawks!
1758
01:06:38,805 --> 01:06:39,805
Fuck Clivesdale!
1759
01:06:40,236 --> 01:06:41,236
Fuck 'em straight to hell!
1760
01:06:41,902 --> 01:06:42,902
Assholes!
1761
01:06:42,735 --> 01:06:43,735
(audience cheering and clapping)
1762
01:06:47,324 --> 01:06:48,324
Man, I love those guys.
1763
01:06:51,449 --> 01:06:52,449
They're my bros for life.
1764
01:06:53,048 --> 01:06:54,048
(audience aahing)
1765
01:06:55,599 --> 01:06:56,599
You know, for the first time...
1766
01:07:00,678 --> 01:07:01,678
(audience laughing)
1767
01:07:10,574 --> 01:07:11,574
I feel like I belong.
1768
01:07:12,187 --> 01:07:13,187
(audience laughing)
1769
01:07:14,340 --> 01:07:15,340
I love this school.
1770
01:07:16,635 --> 01:07:17,635
I love being alive!
1771
01:07:18,467 --> 01:07:19,467
(audience cheers)
1772
01:07:20,821 --> 01:07:21,821
- [Max] Richie.
1773
01:07:22,290 --> 01:07:23,290
(audience gasps)
1774
01:07:24,824 --> 01:07:25,824
Richie.
1775
01:07:27,075 --> 01:07:28,075
(eerie music)
1776
01:07:30,010 --> 01:07:31,010
- Hello?
1777
01:07:31,375 --> 01:07:32,375
Guys?
1778
01:07:33,158 --> 01:07:34,158
- [Max] Richie.
1779
01:07:37,250 --> 01:07:38,250
- Jace?
1780
01:07:39,141 --> 01:07:40,141
Kyle?
1781
01:07:41,119 --> 01:07:42,119
Quit fooling.
1782
01:07:43,927 --> 01:07:44,927
You promised you wouldn't
gonna bully anymore.
1783
01:07:46,783 --> 01:07:47,783
Remember what you said?
1784
01:07:48,378 --> 01:07:49,378
- Oh, I remember what I said.
1785
01:07:53,869 --> 01:07:54,869
Do you?
1786
01:07:56,264 --> 01:07:57,264
(thunder cracks)
You fuckin' nerd?
1787
01:07:59,194 --> 01:08:00,194
- No!
1788
01:08:01,142 --> 01:08:02,142
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
1789
01:08:02,637 --> 01:08:03,637
This can't be. You're dead!
1790
01:08:05,107 --> 01:08:06,107
- I'm free.
1791
01:08:06,676 --> 01:08:07,676
And you know what that means, bitch?
1792
01:08:08,780 --> 01:08:09,780
No more Mr. Nice Guy.
1793
01:08:11,288 --> 01:08:12,288
(intense music)
1794
01:08:12,121 --> 01:08:13,121
- No!
(Max cackles)
1795
01:08:13,541 --> 01:08:14,541
No, no, no!
1796
01:08:17,907 --> 01:08:18,907
♪ Did you miss me while I was gone ♪
1797
01:08:21,207 --> 01:08:22,207
♪ Did you really think you'd get away ♪
1798
01:08:24,972 --> 01:08:25,972
♪ The hallway's safe ♪
1799
01:08:26,489 --> 01:08:27,489
♪ That I won't break you ♪
1800
01:08:31,108 --> 01:08:32,108
♪ You can see I'm much improved ♪
1801
01:08:34,678 --> 01:08:35,678
♪ That ain't good new for you you bitch ♪
1802
01:08:37,835 --> 01:08:38,835
♪ 'Cause I gotta list and you're on it ♪
1803
01:08:41,294 --> 01:08:42,294
♪ Whoa whoa ♪
1804
01:08:43,049 --> 01:08:44,049
♪ Does the Math Club comfort you ♪
1805
01:08:48,235 --> 01:08:49,235
♪ Should've joined the
Smoke Club you nerdy prude ♪
1806
01:08:54,325 --> 01:08:55,325
♪ Nerdy prudes must die ♪
1807
01:08:56,525 --> 01:08:57,525
♪ Nerdy prudes must die ♪
1808
01:08:58,806 --> 01:08:59,806
♪ Everybody cool watch those
nerds run for their lives ♪
1809
01:09:02,965 --> 01:09:03,965
♪ Jagerman will rise ♪
1810
01:09:04,908 --> 01:09:05,908
♪ Blood will be my prize ♪
1811
01:09:07,026 --> 01:09:08,026
♪ Nerdy nerdy prudes watch me shock ♪
1812
01:09:09,942 --> 01:09:10,942
♪ And cock you blocks ♪
1813
01:09:12,082 --> 01:09:13,082
♪ The jock you demonized ♪
1814
01:09:15,867 --> 01:09:16,867
♪ You think I seek revenge ♪
1815
01:09:18,167 --> 01:09:19,167
(thunder cracks)
1816
01:09:19,000 --> 01:09:20,000
♪ I could give two shits
that you buried and left me ♪
1817
01:09:22,344 --> 01:09:23,344
♪ Defiled my body ♪
1818
01:09:24,046 --> 01:09:25,046
♪ You pushed me off the edge ♪
1819
01:09:29,083 --> 01:09:30,083
♪ I'm on a new crusade ♪
1820
01:09:32,401 --> 01:09:33,401
♪ The world is just too well behaved ♪
1821
01:09:35,800 --> 01:09:36,800
♪ It needs to be saved ♪
1822
01:09:37,403 --> 01:09:38,403
♪ And you're too weak to be enslaved ♪
1823
01:09:41,783 --> 01:09:42,783
♪ Nerdy prudes must die ♪
1824
01:09:44,036 --> 01:09:45,036
♪ Nerdy prudes must die ♪
1825
01:09:46,296 --> 01:09:47,296
♪ Everybody cool watch those
nerds meet their demise ♪
1826
01:09:50,383 --> 01:09:51,383
♪ The cleansing of your kind ♪
1827
01:09:52,437 --> 01:09:53,437
♪ Expose the bloody lie ♪
1828
01:09:54,636 --> 01:09:55,636
♪ Nerdy nerdy prudes watch me spawn ♪
1829
01:09:57,566 --> 01:09:58,566
♪ And prey upon ♪
1830
01:09:59,927 --> 01:10:00,927
♪ You anti-socialites ♪
1831
01:10:03,448 --> 01:10:04,448
- I want you to repeat after me.
1832
01:10:05,287 --> 01:10:06,287
- Okay.
1833
01:10:06,872 --> 01:10:07,872
♪ Who will pray for me ♪
♪ Who will pray for me ♪
1834
01:10:09,864 --> 01:10:10,864
♪ When I'm gone ♪
♪ When I'm gone ♪
1835
01:10:13,460 --> 01:10:14,460
♪ Or until another Richie comes along ♪
1836
01:10:17,886 --> 01:10:18,886
- Can you repeat that one?
1837
01:10:19,211 --> 01:10:20,211
♪ Who will pray for me ♪
1838
01:10:22,354 --> 01:10:23,354
♪ When I'm gone ♪
1839
01:10:25,430 --> 01:10:26,430
♪ Or is this the eternal
dark without a dawn ♪
1840
01:10:31,608 --> 01:10:32,608
♪ Who will pray for you ♪
♪ Who will pray for me ♪
1841
01:10:34,427 --> 01:10:35,427
♪ When your body's gone ♪
♪ When my body's gone ♪
1842
01:10:38,267 --> 01:10:39,267
♪ This is the consequence
for what you've done ♪
1843
01:10:41,492 --> 01:10:42,492
♪ I'm not a loser ♪
1844
01:10:44,344 --> 01:10:45,344
- What did you say?
1845
01:10:47,396 --> 01:10:48,396
- Don't kill me.
1846
01:10:49,006 --> 01:10:50,006
I'm not a nerdy prude.
1847
01:10:50,897 --> 01:10:51,897
I'm not a loser.
1848
01:10:54,457 --> 01:10:55,457
- Of course not, Richie.
1849
01:11:01,542 --> 01:11:02,542
But you have lost.
1850
01:11:04,870 --> 01:11:05,870
Everything.
1851
01:11:06,320 --> 01:11:07,320
(dramatic music)
1852
01:11:07,711 --> 01:11:08,711
- No!
(Max cackling)
1853
01:11:09,019 --> 01:11:10,019
No, please!
1854
01:11:10,444 --> 01:11:11,444
(Max cackling)
1855
01:11:11,725 --> 01:11:12,725
No, no, no, no.
1856
01:11:12,807 --> 01:11:13,807
(Max cackling)
1857
01:11:14,685 --> 01:11:15,685
No!
1858
01:11:15,750 --> 01:11:16,750
(Max cackling)
1859
01:11:19,466 --> 01:11:20,466
(melancholy music)
1860
01:11:25,492 --> 01:11:26,492
(thunder cracks)
(Grace screams)
1861
01:11:30,554 --> 01:11:31,554
- Grace, what's wrong?
1862
01:11:32,672 --> 01:11:33,672
- I had a nightmare! A horrible nightmare.
1863
01:11:35,558 --> 01:11:36,558
Max Jagerman, he was
dead, and he was angry.
1864
01:11:38,599 --> 01:11:39,599
He was so angry, and
he wasn't sexy at all.
1865
01:11:43,395 --> 01:11:44,395
Mama, I'm cured!
1866
01:11:44,648 --> 01:11:45,648
(audience laughing)
1867
01:11:45,481 --> 01:11:46,481
- That's nice, dear.
1868
01:11:47,098 --> 01:11:48,098
But you better hurry or you
won't be early for school.
1869
01:11:49,840 --> 01:11:50,840
- It's 6:30 already! Shoot and Shinola!
1870
01:11:52,562 --> 01:11:53,562
(bouncy music)
1871
01:11:55,847 --> 01:11:56,847
- Oh, Mark, I'm worried about Grace.
1872
01:11:59,502 --> 01:12:00,502
Sleeping in like this, it's not like her.
1873
01:12:01,822 --> 01:12:02,822
- Well, she's 18, Mother.
1874
01:12:04,144 --> 01:12:05,144
Remember how wild we were at her age?
1875
01:12:06,425 --> 01:12:07,425
On the phone til 8:00 p.m. (chuckles)
1876
01:12:08,555 --> 01:12:09,555
(audience laughing)
1877
01:12:09,408 --> 01:12:10,408
Sneaking out to watch PG films.
1878
01:12:11,871 --> 01:12:12,871
(mother gasps)
1879
01:12:12,767 --> 01:12:13,767
- I never did that.
1880
01:12:14,491 --> 01:12:15,491
- Morning, Daddy!
1881
01:12:16,416 --> 01:12:17,416
- Good morning, sunshine!
1882
01:12:17,902 --> 01:12:18,902
- Do you have everything
you need for school?
1883
01:12:19,487 --> 01:12:20,487
- Yes, just missing a kiss from my mommy!
1884
01:12:21,545 --> 01:12:22,545
- Oh, Gracie.
1885
01:12:23,435 --> 01:12:24,435
(cellphone ringing)
1886
01:12:24,488 --> 01:12:25,488
(father gasps)
1887
01:12:25,554 --> 01:12:26,554
- Hang on, gang.
1888
01:12:27,134 --> 01:12:28,134
This is important. Aha!
1889
01:12:29,782 --> 01:12:30,782
Ahem. Hello?
1890
01:12:32,588 --> 01:12:33,588
Really?
1891
01:12:34,077 --> 01:12:35,077
They did?
1892
01:12:35,971 --> 01:12:36,971
It sold!
1893
01:12:36,870 --> 01:12:37,870
- Oh, Mark! That's wonderful!
1894
01:12:38,955 --> 01:12:39,955
- Congratulations, Dad!
1895
01:12:39,788 --> 01:12:40,788
- Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
1896
01:12:41,776 --> 01:12:42,776
- You see?
1897
01:12:42,609 --> 01:12:43,609
I told you your father would sell
1898
01:12:43,692 --> 01:12:44,692
that old Waylon Place one of these days.
1899
01:12:46,756 --> 01:12:47,756
- What?
1900
01:12:48,248 --> 01:12:49,248
Uh, what house sold?
1901
01:12:49,983 --> 01:12:50,983
- The old Waylon place on Hickory?
1902
01:12:51,963 --> 01:12:52,963
- So the home inspectors
got there this morning?
1903
01:12:55,232 --> 01:12:56,232
What did they find?
1904
01:12:58,447 --> 01:12:59,447
You don't say.
1905
01:13:00,758 --> 01:13:01,758
You don't say!
1906
01:13:03,178 --> 01:13:04,178
Well, I'll be down there in jiffy.
1907
01:13:07,230 --> 01:13:08,230
- What'd they find, Dad?
1908
01:13:08,913 --> 01:13:09,913
- They didn't say.
1909
01:13:10,328 --> 01:13:11,328
(audience laughing)
1910
01:13:12,879 --> 01:13:13,879
Only that I should come
have a look for myself.
1911
01:13:15,018 --> 01:13:16,018
Gosh, I hope it's not termites.
1912
01:13:18,037 --> 01:13:19,037
Have a great day at school, sweetheart.
1913
01:13:20,917 --> 01:13:21,917
- Oh, heck. I'm so heckin' fudged.
1914
01:13:24,847 --> 01:13:25,847
(audience laughing)
1915
01:13:29,380 --> 01:13:30,380
- That was some game this weekend.
1916
01:13:30,915 --> 01:13:31,915
- Man, fuck Clivesdale!
1917
01:13:34,947 --> 01:13:35,947
Fucking Chemists!
1918
01:13:35,852 --> 01:13:36,852
- We'll get 'em next year, Pete.
1919
01:13:37,658 --> 01:13:38,658
- You know, I can't
believe I'm saying this,
1920
01:13:39,562 --> 01:13:40,562
but it would've been
nice to have Max back,
1921
01:13:42,531 --> 01:13:43,531
just for the big game.
1922
01:13:44,237 --> 01:13:45,237
- All right, I'm gonna need you three
1923
01:13:45,315 --> 01:13:46,315
to shut the fudge up about Max Jagerman!
1924
01:13:47,834 --> 01:13:48,834
- Why? What's wrong?
1925
01:13:50,284 --> 01:13:51,284
- Nothing. (chuckles nervously)
1926
01:13:51,399 --> 01:13:52,399
'Cause we cleaned the entire house.
1927
01:13:53,070 --> 01:13:54,070
With bleach!
1928
01:13:54,965 --> 01:13:55,965
We covered all our tracks.
1929
01:13:56,823 --> 01:13:57,823
Except I can't find my WWJD bracelet.
1930
01:13:59,956 --> 01:14:00,956
I took it off when we were
dismembering the body.
1931
01:14:01,845 --> 01:14:02,845
But I put it back on, right?
1932
01:14:02,678 --> 01:14:03,678
You saw me with it, right!? Right?
1933
01:14:03,856 --> 01:14:04,856
Right?
1934
01:14:04,689 --> 01:14:05,689
- Grace.
1935
01:14:05,641 --> 01:14:06,641
Is there something that we
need to be worried about?
1936
01:14:07,615 --> 01:14:08,615
(sirens wailing)
1937
01:14:08,448 --> 01:14:09,448
No, um...
1938
01:14:11,742 --> 01:14:12,742
- Holy shit! Are those cop cars?
1939
01:14:14,099 --> 01:14:15,099
- Grace, why are the police at our school?
1940
01:14:17,541 --> 01:14:18,541
- All right, I'm gonna
need the three of you
1941
01:14:19,003 --> 01:14:20,003
to stop freaking out, okay?
1942
01:14:21,344 --> 01:14:22,344
Okay, just shut up and
keep your beans cool!
1943
01:14:24,864 --> 01:14:25,864
If you think about it,
1944
01:14:26,164 --> 01:14:27,164
it's a good thing my dad
sold the Waylon place,
1945
01:14:28,156 --> 01:14:29,156
because he's gonna get
a huge commission on it,
1946
01:14:30,156 --> 01:14:31,156
and he's gonna build a
pool in our backyard.
1947
01:14:31,611 --> 01:14:32,611
So there!
1948
01:14:33,094 --> 01:14:34,094
Grace, you said that house
would be abandoned forever.
1949
01:14:36,647 --> 01:14:37,647
We trusted you!
1950
01:14:37,520 --> 01:14:38,520
Then trust me that they can't
trace anything back to us.
1951
01:14:40,885 --> 01:14:41,885
- [Announcer] Attention
Hatchetfield High students.
1952
01:14:43,904 --> 01:14:44,904
Would Ruth Fleming...
1953
01:14:45,593 --> 01:14:46,593
- Ugh.
1954
01:14:46,834 --> 01:14:47,834
- [Announcer] Grace Chasity...
1955
01:14:47,957 --> 01:14:48,957
- Ugh.
1956
01:14:49,714 --> 01:14:50,714
- [Announcer] Stephanie Lauter.
1957
01:14:50,957 --> 01:14:51,957
- Ugh.
1958
01:14:52,580 --> 01:14:53,580
- [Announcer] And Peter Spankoffski...
1959
01:14:54,209 --> 01:14:55,209
- Oh no.
1960
01:14:55,460 --> 01:14:56,460
- [Announcer] Please report
to the principal's office.
1961
01:14:57,806 --> 01:14:58,806
The police would like to
ask you a few questions.
1962
01:15:02,803 --> 01:15:03,803
(all groaning)
1963
01:15:08,521 --> 01:15:09,521
- Hi, kids. Come on in.
1964
01:15:09,354 --> 01:15:10,354
Have a seat.
1965
01:15:12,671 --> 01:15:13,671
I'm Detective Shapiro. This
here is Officer Bailey.
1966
01:15:14,790 --> 01:15:15,790
- Don't look at me!
1967
01:15:16,048 --> 01:15:17,048
(audience laughing)
1968
01:15:16,881 --> 01:15:17,881
Get your hands outta your pockets.
1969
01:15:18,526 --> 01:15:19,526
- Sorry, sir.
1970
01:15:19,937 --> 01:15:20,937
- Don't mind him.
1971
01:15:22,176 --> 01:15:23,176
He hasn't had his coffee this morning.
1972
01:15:24,197 --> 01:15:25,197
You kids want some coffee?
1973
01:15:25,799 --> 01:15:26,799
Can I get you anything? Anything at all?
1974
01:15:28,087 --> 01:15:29,087
How 'bout that game this weekend?
1975
01:15:30,223 --> 01:15:31,223
Fucking Chemists, right?
1976
01:15:32,464 --> 01:15:33,464
We'll get 'em next time
though. Go Nighthawks!
1977
01:15:35,659 --> 01:15:36,659
- [All] Yeah. Go Nighthawks.
1978
01:15:38,972 --> 01:15:39,972
- Too bad our boys weren't
playing with a full deck, though.
1979
01:15:41,939 --> 01:15:42,939
You ask me, they were missing
1980
01:15:43,100 --> 01:15:44,100
the most important member of the team.
1981
01:15:46,247 --> 01:15:47,247
You know who I'm talking about, right?
1982
01:15:48,663 --> 01:15:49,663
- [All] Yeah.
1983
01:15:49,527 --> 01:15:50,527
- Yeah.
1984
01:15:51,041 --> 01:15:52,041
Without him, the Nighthawks went out there
1985
01:15:52,595 --> 01:15:53,595
and they just shat the bed, didn't they?
1986
01:15:55,412 --> 01:15:56,412
Real shame what happened to him.
1987
01:15:57,153 --> 01:15:58,153
- Damn shame!
1988
01:15:59,447 --> 01:16:00,447
- You see, kids, he was murdered.
1989
01:16:03,330 --> 01:16:04,330
- How do you know it was murder?
1990
01:16:05,002 --> 01:16:06,002
- Uh, yeah, it coulda been an accident.
1991
01:16:06,629 --> 01:16:07,629
- Yeah, maybe he fell.
1992
01:16:08,189 --> 01:16:09,189
That's what happened! He fell!
1993
01:16:09,730 --> 01:16:10,730
- Shut the fuck up, Ruth!
1994
01:16:11,097 --> 01:16:12,097
- Ha!
1995
01:16:11,930 --> 01:16:12,930
Nah, nah. Fell?
1996
01:16:12,763 --> 01:16:13,763
Yeah, I don't think so.
1997
01:16:14,577 --> 01:16:15,577
- Tell me a little bit
1998
01:16:15,415 --> 01:16:16,415
about your relationship with the deceased.
1999
01:16:17,178 --> 01:16:18,178
Word around school is that
you four were his friends.
2000
01:16:19,726 --> 01:16:20,726
- Friends?
2001
01:16:20,781 --> 01:16:21,781
Barely.
2002
01:16:21,614 --> 01:16:22,614
- No, we hardly knew the guy.
2003
01:16:22,955 --> 01:16:23,955
- Yeah, I knew him. I just hated his guts.
2004
01:16:24,875 --> 01:16:25,875
- Not enough to kill him, though.
2005
01:16:27,031 --> 01:16:28,031
- Uh, yeah!
2006
01:16:27,952 --> 01:16:28,952
Just maybe enough to scare
him or teach him a lesson.
2007
01:16:30,314 --> 01:16:31,314
- Not even that!
2008
01:16:31,147 --> 01:16:32,147
- Yeah.
2009
01:16:31,980 --> 01:16:32,980
- When was the last time you saw him?
2010
01:16:33,608 --> 01:16:34,608
- Uh, about two weeks ago.
2011
01:16:35,938 --> 01:16:36,938
- Bullshit!
2012
01:16:37,726 --> 01:16:38,726
You wanna think a little harder?
2013
01:16:39,588 --> 01:16:40,588
You sure you didn't see him
2014
01:16:40,535 --> 01:16:41,535
in your AP Calculus class last week?
2015
01:16:42,683 --> 01:16:43,683
- Wha...
2016
01:16:43,867 --> 01:16:44,867
What?
2017
01:16:44,700 --> 01:16:45,700
- That's it!
2018
01:16:45,533 --> 01:16:46,533
Listen here, you little fucks!
2019
01:16:48,180 --> 01:16:49,180
Zeek the Fightin' Nighthawk
2020
01:16:50,496 --> 01:16:51,496
was murdered the night of the big game!
2021
01:16:53,492 --> 01:16:54,492
We lost to Clivesdale!
2022
01:16:56,795 --> 01:16:57,795
Fuckin' Clivesdale!
2023
01:17:01,221 --> 01:17:02,221
(audience laughing)
2024
01:17:03,101 --> 01:17:04,101
So you four are gonna spill
everything that you know
2025
01:17:08,049 --> 01:17:09,049
about Richard Lipschitz!
2026
01:17:12,217 --> 01:17:13,217
Sorry.
2027
01:17:13,050 --> 01:17:14,050
(audience laughing)
2028
01:17:14,052 --> 01:17:15,052
- Wait, someone killed Richie?
2029
01:17:16,706 --> 01:17:17,706
- Oh, well, we don't know
anything about that one.
2030
01:17:19,366 --> 01:17:20,366
- Or any one!
2031
01:17:21,469 --> 01:17:22,469
We don't know anything.
2032
01:17:22,813 --> 01:17:23,813
- You four were his friends. Think.
2033
01:17:24,642 --> 01:17:25,642
Is there anyone in Richie's life
2034
01:17:25,717 --> 01:17:26,717
who might have had it out for him,
2035
01:17:26,704 --> 01:17:27,704
someone who maybe had a
grudge against nerdy prudes?
2036
01:17:31,177 --> 01:17:32,177
(mysterious music)
2037
01:17:33,508 --> 01:17:34,508
- What?
2038
01:17:34,729 --> 01:17:35,729
- Killer left a message,
2039
01:17:36,454 --> 01:17:37,454
written on the wall in
your friend's blood.
2040
01:17:39,472 --> 01:17:40,472
"Nerdy prudes must die."
2041
01:17:42,003 --> 01:17:43,003
Now, does that mean anything to you?
2042
01:17:46,793 --> 01:17:47,793
- [All] No.
2043
01:17:48,302 --> 01:17:49,302
- Bailey, Shapiro, we got a
problem at the old Waylon place.
2044
01:17:52,199 --> 01:17:53,199
We found another one. The Jagerman boy.
2045
01:17:54,759 --> 01:17:55,759
- [Bailey] Shit!
2046
01:17:56,025 --> 01:17:57,025
Let's go.
2047
01:17:57,709 --> 01:17:58,709
- Thanks for your help, kids.
2048
01:17:59,064 --> 01:18:00,064
- Yeah. Thanks for nothing!
2049
01:18:03,218 --> 01:18:04,218
- Oh, man!
2050
01:18:04,976 --> 01:18:05,976
Oh no!
2051
01:18:06,434 --> 01:18:07,434
- Well, we're fucked.
2052
01:18:09,347 --> 01:18:10,347
They found Max.
2053
01:18:11,838 --> 01:18:12,838
- Yes, Ruth. We are fucked!
2054
01:18:14,595 --> 01:18:15,595
For several reasons!
2055
01:18:16,267 --> 01:18:17,267
Nerdy prudes must die?
2056
01:18:18,252 --> 01:18:19,252
Those were Jagerman's last words exactly!
2057
01:18:20,458 --> 01:18:21,458
- Yeah, well, maybe it's a coincidence.
2058
01:18:23,302 --> 01:18:24,302
People tell me to die every day.
2059
01:18:25,273 --> 01:18:26,273
(audience laughing)
2060
01:18:26,702 --> 01:18:27,702
- I don't think so, Ruth!
2061
01:18:27,766 --> 01:18:28,766
I think somebody knows what we did,
2062
01:18:29,659 --> 01:18:30,659
and now they're after us!
2063
01:18:31,045 --> 01:18:32,045
- How could anyone know?
2064
01:18:32,388 --> 01:18:33,388
- Because someone spilled the beans!
2065
01:18:35,244 --> 01:18:36,244
All our cool beans!
2066
01:18:38,455 --> 01:18:39,455
I don't know about you guys,
but I smell a heckin' rat.
2067
01:18:41,565 --> 01:18:42,565
Been talking to any
telemarketers lately, Ruth?
2068
01:18:44,488 --> 01:18:45,488
- I wish!
2069
01:18:45,508 --> 01:18:46,508
- You're so desperate for attention,
2070
01:18:47,321 --> 01:18:48,321
maybe you thought you could get it
2071
01:18:48,604 --> 01:18:49,604
by dishing up a big old
plate of juicy gossip!
2072
01:18:50,943 --> 01:18:51,943
- Okay, I admit it, it crossed my mind!
2073
01:18:53,752 --> 01:18:54,752
But, no, then my social anxiety kicked in,
2074
01:18:56,556 --> 01:18:57,556
and my mouth went all dry, and...
2075
01:18:58,451 --> 01:18:59,451
Don't bully me!
2076
01:18:59,919 --> 01:19:00,919
- Leave Ruth alone!
2077
01:19:00,837 --> 01:19:01,837
- Was it you, Steph?
2078
01:19:02,196 --> 01:19:03,196
Or maybe it was you, Spankoffski.
2079
01:19:03,805 --> 01:19:04,805
Someone told!
2080
01:19:05,223 --> 01:19:06,223
- Or there was someone else
in the house that night.
2081
01:19:07,937 --> 01:19:08,937
- Don't be ridiculous.
2082
01:19:09,767 --> 01:19:10,767
Wait.
(mysterious music)
2083
01:19:10,995 --> 01:19:11,995
(audience laughing)
2084
01:19:12,085 --> 01:19:13,085
Someone else in the house?
2085
01:19:14,221 --> 01:19:15,221
That could work.
2086
01:19:16,087 --> 01:19:17,087
- Grace, what are you thinking?
2087
01:19:19,319 --> 01:19:20,319
- Relax, ye of little faith.
2088
01:19:21,343 --> 01:19:22,343
I'm gonna get those pigs off our backs!
2089
01:19:23,488 --> 01:19:24,488
(audience laughing)
2090
01:19:25,914 --> 01:19:26,914
(audience cheering)
(television beeping)
2091
01:19:30,779 --> 01:19:31,779
- [Announcer] This is
Hatchetfield Action News
2092
01:19:33,397 --> 01:19:34,397
with Dan and Donna!
2093
01:19:36,839 --> 01:19:37,839
- [Dan] Shock.
2094
01:19:38,209 --> 01:19:39,209
Despair.
2095
01:19:39,846 --> 01:19:40,846
Tragedy.
2096
01:19:41,417 --> 01:19:42,417
All of Hatchetfield is reeling
after an unspeakable loss,
2097
01:19:46,427 --> 01:19:47,427
a loss to the Clivesdale Chemists.
2098
01:19:50,226 --> 01:19:51,226
(audience laughing)
2099
01:19:51,059 --> 01:19:52,059
But chin up, Nighthawks.
We'll get 'em next year.
2100
01:19:53,666 --> 01:19:54,666
- [Donna] In other news, two
Hatchetfield High students
2101
01:19:56,173 --> 01:19:57,173
have been brutally murdered:
2102
01:19:58,199 --> 01:19:59,199
Richard Lipschitz and Maxwell Jagerman.
2103
01:20:01,073 --> 01:20:02,073
We're taking you live to City Hall
2104
01:20:03,032 --> 01:20:04,032
for an emergency press conference
with Mayor Solomon Lauter.
2105
01:20:06,797 --> 01:20:07,797
- People of Hatchetfield,
our town is no longer safe.
2106
01:20:11,331 --> 01:20:12,331
Two teenage boys are dead.
2107
01:20:13,843 --> 01:20:14,843
And until the murderer
is brought to justice,
2108
01:20:16,156 --> 01:20:17,156
I am locking this city down.
2109
01:20:18,215 --> 01:20:19,215
We'll be implementing a strict curfew.
2110
01:20:20,364 --> 01:20:21,364
No one aged 18 or under
will be out past sundown.
2111
01:20:24,003 --> 01:20:25,003
They'll be safe at home, or at school,
2112
01:20:26,572 --> 01:20:27,572
where I'll be posting
police at every entrance.
2113
01:20:29,730 --> 01:20:30,730
- [Reporters] Mayor Lauter!
2114
01:20:30,612 --> 01:20:31,612
- Is there any truth to the rumor
2115
01:20:32,371 --> 01:20:33,371
that your daughter has been
questioned by the police?
2116
01:20:34,916 --> 01:20:35,916
Is she a suspect?
2117
01:20:36,050 --> 01:20:37,050
- My daughter is cooperating
fully with the investigation.
2118
01:20:38,668 --> 01:20:39,668
She has nothing to hide.
2119
01:20:40,846 --> 01:20:41,846
What about you, eh?
2120
01:20:43,589 --> 01:20:44,589
The killer could be any one of you.
2121
01:20:46,415 --> 01:20:47,415
So don't point your fingers at me.
2122
01:20:49,038 --> 01:20:50,038
Point them at your neighbors.
2123
01:20:51,696 --> 01:20:52,696
Your co-workers.
2124
01:20:53,653 --> 01:20:54,653
Watch your backs, Hatchetfield.
2125
01:20:55,424 --> 01:20:56,424
There is a serial killer in our midst.
2126
01:20:57,860 --> 01:20:58,860
♪ I've never known darker times ♪
2127
01:20:59,680 --> 01:21:00,680
♪ And I covered the protests live ♪
2128
01:21:01,540 --> 01:21:02,540
♪ At the Hatchetfield kennel ♪
2129
01:21:03,467 --> 01:21:04,467
♪ Ah ah ah ♪
2130
01:21:04,816 --> 01:21:05,816
♪ I am Dan Reynolds ♪
2131
01:21:06,349 --> 01:21:07,349
♪ With Action News
weekdays at 10:00 p.m. ♪
2132
01:21:08,633 --> 01:21:09,633
♪ I hate to relay the news ♪
2133
01:21:10,614 --> 01:21:11,614
♪ But the football team might be screwed ♪
2134
01:21:12,534 --> 01:21:13,534
♪ Stay inside watch your children ♪
2135
01:21:14,256 --> 01:21:15,256
♪ Ah ah ah ♪
2136
01:21:15,382 --> 01:21:16,382
♪ 'Cause a losing streak's comin' ♪
2137
01:21:16,903 --> 01:21:17,903
♪ A losin' streak's comin' ♪
2138
01:21:18,888 --> 01:21:19,888
♪ There's a man on the
loose and he's got a gun ♪
2139
01:21:21,125 --> 01:21:22,125
♪ Better put out the APB ♪
2140
01:21:24,253 --> 01:21:25,253
♪ The psycho's killed two ♪
2141
01:21:25,204 --> 01:21:26,204
♪ If he gets me next make it three ♪
2142
01:21:28,041 --> 01:21:29,041
♪ If he gets me next I could be three ♪
2143
01:21:29,763 --> 01:21:30,763
♪ We're chasing wild goose
and we don't know how ♪
2144
01:21:32,251 --> 01:21:33,251
♪ Watch the blame go around ♪
2145
01:21:34,957 --> 01:21:35,957
♪ Man down down down down ♪
2146
01:21:37,870 --> 01:21:38,870
♪ Who's swinging the hatchet
now in Hatchet Town ♪
2147
01:21:40,971 --> 01:21:41,971
♪ Someone's got their hands
on the hatchet handle ♪
2148
01:21:43,350 --> 01:21:44,350
♪ Swinging on the youth
it's a hatchet scandal ♪
2149
01:21:46,317 --> 01:21:47,317
♪ Careful or your folks will
end up a cannibal's plate ♪
2150
01:21:50,120 --> 01:21:51,120
♪ It ain't great ♪
2151
01:21:51,913 --> 01:21:52,913
♪ You're better on the
run than you are hiding ♪
2152
01:21:54,804 --> 01:21:55,804
♪ Suddenly this quiet town's exciting ♪
2153
01:21:58,211 --> 01:21:59,211
♪ I heard that their brains were soup ♪
2154
01:22:00,165 --> 01:22:01,165
♪ Their intestines were cut in two ♪
2155
01:22:01,960 --> 01:22:02,960
♪ So it's gotta be Donna ♪
2156
01:22:04,483 --> 01:22:05,483
- What?
2157
01:22:05,316 --> 01:22:06,316
♪ Yeah it's gotta be Donna ♪
2158
01:22:07,607 --> 01:22:08,607
Dan!
2159
01:22:09,137 --> 01:22:10,137
♪ Ziggy was in the school ♪
2160
01:22:11,122 --> 01:22:12,122
♪ We all know they're the local mule ♪
2161
01:22:12,881 --> 01:22:13,881
♪ Selling drugs to our children ♪
2162
01:22:14,746 --> 01:22:15,746
- So? Is that a crime?
2163
01:22:15,754 --> 01:22:16,754
♪ We know they love killing ♪
2164
01:22:17,003 --> 01:22:18,003
I certainly don't love killing.
2165
01:22:19,580 --> 01:22:20,580
♪ Barry's on the loose
and he's got a gun ♪
2166
01:22:21,775 --> 01:22:22,775
♪ And he's got a motive to kill ♪
2167
01:22:24,114 --> 01:22:25,114
- I'm in a hurry!
2168
01:22:24,947 --> 01:22:25,947
♪ The case is closed ♪
2169
01:22:25,844 --> 01:22:26,844
♪ His description matches the bill ♪
2170
01:22:28,125 --> 01:22:29,125
♪ Fits the bill he fits the bill ♪
2171
01:22:30,359 --> 01:22:31,359
♪ The killer's gotta
go for what he's done ♪
2172
01:22:32,787 --> 01:22:33,787
♪ If you don't take him in I will ♪
2173
01:22:34,675 --> 01:22:35,675
Get your hands off me!
2174
01:22:35,724 --> 01:22:36,724
♪ Man down down down down ♪
2175
01:22:38,162 --> 01:22:39,162
♪ Who's swinging the hatchet
now in Hatchet Town ♪
2176
01:22:41,210 --> 01:22:42,210
♪ Lauter's got his hands
on the hatchet handle ♪
2177
01:22:43,568 --> 01:22:44,568
- [Mayor Lauter] What, what, what?
2178
01:22:44,401 --> 01:22:45,401
♪ Swinging on the youth
from his high mantle ♪
2179
01:22:45,238 --> 01:22:46,238
I am the mayor!
2180
01:22:46,999 --> 01:22:47,999
♪ Careful or your kids will
end up on Charlie's plate ♪
2181
01:22:49,844 --> 01:22:50,844
- Excuse me?
2182
01:22:50,895 --> 01:22:51,895
♪ He just ate ♪
How dare you!
2183
01:22:52,595 --> 01:22:53,595
♪ You're better on the
run than you are hiding ♪
2184
01:22:55,446 --> 01:22:56,446
♪ Suddenly this quiet town's divided ♪
2185
01:22:58,294 --> 01:22:59,294
♪ Singing all these songs gives
him greater windows to kill ♪
2186
01:23:01,744 --> 01:23:02,744
♪ But we're singing still ♪
2187
01:23:04,242 --> 01:23:05,242
♪ Oh ♪
2188
01:23:06,999 --> 01:23:07,999
♪ I remember before the lockdown ♪
2189
01:23:11,032 --> 01:23:12,032
♪ The sun was shining on our town ♪
2190
01:23:15,920 --> 01:23:16,920
♪ And our kids could walk the streets ♪
2191
01:23:21,475 --> 01:23:22,475
♪ Oh ♪
2192
01:23:24,070 --> 01:23:25,070
♪ I remember the candy and rainbows ♪
2193
01:23:29,178 --> 01:23:30,178
♪ Oh ♪
2194
01:23:31,804 --> 01:23:32,804
♪ No hatred only halos ♪
2195
01:23:35,708 --> 01:23:36,708
♪ And I knew what a life could mean ♪
2196
01:23:41,009 --> 01:23:42,009
♪ Until Gerald ♪
2197
01:23:44,887 --> 01:23:45,887
♪ Went on his murder spree ♪
2198
01:23:50,770 --> 01:23:51,770
- I knew it was Gerald!
2199
01:23:52,995 --> 01:23:53,995
- Linda, call my lawyer.
2200
01:23:55,346 --> 01:23:56,346
- Let's kill him!
2201
01:23:56,876 --> 01:23:57,876
♪ Someone's got their hands
on the hatchet handle ♪
2202
01:24:00,030 --> 01:24:01,030
♪ Swinging on the youth
it's a hatchet scandal ♪
2203
01:24:02,957 --> 01:24:03,957
♪ Careful or your kids will
encounter a terrible fate ♪
2204
01:24:06,347 --> 01:24:07,347
♪ We're at hell's gate ♪
2205
01:24:08,556 --> 01:24:09,556
♪ You're better on the run
from this bloody-letting ♪
2206
01:24:11,400 --> 01:24:12,400
♪ Suddenly this show is real upsetting ♪
2207
01:24:14,227 --> 01:24:15,227
♪ It's looking like the
Hatchet sun is setting on us ♪
2208
01:24:17,849 --> 01:24:18,849
♪ Who can we trust ♪
2209
01:24:19,690 --> 01:24:20,690
♪ Who's swinging the hatchet now ♪
2210
01:24:22,517 --> 01:24:23,517
♪ Can I shit or will I drown ♪
2211
01:24:25,111 --> 01:24:26,111
♪ Man down down down down ♪
2212
01:24:28,316 --> 01:24:29,316
♪ Who stepped on our hallowed ground ♪
2213
01:24:32,120 --> 01:24:33,120
♪ In Hatchet Town ♪
2214
01:24:36,385 --> 01:24:37,385
(audience cheering and applauding)
2215
01:24:40,459 --> 01:24:41,459
(anxious music)
2216
01:24:47,714 --> 01:24:48,714
- Hey, hey, hey!
2217
01:24:49,049 --> 01:24:50,049
School us on lockdown!
2218
01:24:51,379 --> 01:24:52,379
Where do you think you're going?
2219
01:24:52,941 --> 01:24:53,941
- Rehearsal.
2220
01:24:54,308 --> 01:24:55,308
I'm running the light board
2221
01:24:55,327 --> 01:24:56,327
for the school production of
"The Barbecue Monologues".
2222
01:24:58,306 --> 01:24:59,306
- Oh, "Barbecue Monologues", eh?
2223
01:25:01,781 --> 01:25:02,781
I saw that in New York.
2224
01:25:03,268 --> 01:25:04,268
- Really? How was it?
2225
01:25:05,242 --> 01:25:06,242
- Fuckin' transcendent.
2226
01:25:07,211 --> 01:25:08,211
(audience laughing)
2227
01:25:09,103 --> 01:25:10,103
All right, move along.
2228
01:25:10,676 --> 01:25:11,676
- Okay.
2229
01:25:13,296 --> 01:25:14,296
(gentle music)
2230
01:25:18,410 --> 01:25:19,410
(Pete sighs)
2231
01:25:31,288 --> 01:25:32,288
(bird tweeting)
2232
01:25:35,714 --> 01:25:36,714
(audience laughing)
2233
01:25:44,799 --> 01:25:45,799
- Here's the thing about a barbecue.
2234
01:25:46,465 --> 01:25:47,465
(audience laughing)
2235
01:25:50,001 --> 01:25:51,001
It brings folks together.
2236
01:25:52,989 --> 01:25:53,989
From all walks of life.
2237
01:25:56,200 --> 01:25:57,200
There's a story behind every burger.
2238
01:26:00,199 --> 01:26:01,199
Every kah-bob.
2239
01:26:01,697 --> 01:26:02,697
(audience laughing)
2240
01:26:04,009 --> 01:26:05,009
I hope these stories tonight
2241
01:26:05,555 --> 01:26:06,555
are a lot like these patties here.
2242
01:26:09,231 --> 01:26:10,231
(meat sizzling)
2243
01:26:13,949 --> 01:26:14,949
Well done.
2244
01:26:14,899 --> 01:26:15,899
(audience laughing)
2245
01:26:19,911 --> 01:26:20,911
You hear that?
2246
01:26:22,558 --> 01:26:23,558
That's the sound of love.
2247
01:26:25,182 --> 01:26:26,182
- Family.
2248
01:26:26,579 --> 01:26:27,579
(audience laughing)
2249
01:26:28,206 --> 01:26:29,206
- Passion.
2250
01:26:29,648 --> 01:26:30,648
(audience laughing)
2251
01:26:30,481 --> 01:26:31,481
- Betrayal.
2252
01:26:32,696 --> 01:26:33,696
- I just wanna make him happy.
2253
01:26:34,675 --> 01:26:35,675
- I want my neighbor to finally notice me.
2254
01:26:36,856 --> 01:26:37,856
- I wanna remember who I am.
2255
01:26:39,928 --> 01:26:40,928
- This is the story of my barbecue.
2256
01:26:43,218 --> 01:26:44,218
- My barbecue.
- My barbecue.
2257
01:26:45,056 --> 01:26:46,056
- My barbecue!
2258
01:26:46,504 --> 01:26:47,504
(audience laughing)
2259
01:26:47,806 --> 01:26:48,806
- These are our...
2260
01:26:50,472 --> 01:26:51,472
- [All] Barbecue monologues.
2261
01:26:54,522 --> 01:26:55,522
(audience laughing)
2262
01:26:56,706 --> 01:26:57,706
(audience cheering and clapping)
2263
01:26:59,599 --> 01:27:00,599
- Hold!
2264
01:27:01,330 --> 01:27:02,330
That was great, guys.
2265
01:27:03,427 --> 01:27:04,427
Oh!
2266
01:27:04,651 --> 01:27:05,651
Okay, Caitlyn, can you
give me a little more heart
2267
01:27:08,406 --> 01:27:09,406
when you say "my barbecue."
2268
01:27:09,887 --> 01:27:10,887
- Mm-hm. Yeah.
2269
01:27:11,351 --> 01:27:12,351
- Uh, Ruth, I think we missed a light cue.
2270
01:27:14,379 --> 01:27:15,379
- [Ruth] Well, someone
got the cue-line wrong.
2271
01:27:17,824 --> 01:27:18,824
It's supposed "I wanna remember
who I used to be," Trevor!
2272
01:27:24,662 --> 01:27:25,662
I lose my place when they
don't stick to the script!
2273
01:27:28,340 --> 01:27:29,340
- All right, everyone, let's take 10,
2274
01:27:29,980 --> 01:27:30,980
then places for the top of the show.
2275
01:27:32,046 --> 01:27:33,046
- [All] 10!
2276
01:27:35,409 --> 01:27:36,409
- Ruth, we need to refocus
that light center stage.
2277
01:27:39,086 --> 01:27:40,086
You think you can handle it?
2278
01:27:41,288 --> 01:27:42,288
- I guess.
2279
01:27:42,399 --> 01:27:43,399
(audience laughing)
2280
01:27:44,479 --> 01:27:45,479
God! I gotta do everything around here.
2281
01:27:49,708 --> 01:27:50,708
(Ruth muttering)
2282
01:27:55,359 --> 01:27:56,359
(audience laughing)
2283
01:27:56,970 --> 01:27:57,970
(gentle music)
2284
01:28:00,628 --> 01:28:01,628
Whoa.
2285
01:28:03,996 --> 01:28:04,996
So this is what it's like, huh?
2286
01:28:07,855 --> 01:28:08,855
To be in the spotlight
instead of the booth.
2287
01:28:13,620 --> 01:28:14,620
Betcha I could do it.
2288
01:28:15,874 --> 01:28:16,874
Betcha I could.
2289
01:28:17,541 --> 01:28:18,541
At least as well as Caitlyn!
2290
01:28:21,603 --> 01:28:22,603
I could act.
2291
01:28:23,886 --> 01:28:24,886
If it wasn't for my anxiety.
2292
01:28:27,563 --> 01:28:28,563
And my greasy skin.
2293
01:28:30,570 --> 01:28:31,570
And my rainforest pits! Ugh!
2294
01:28:36,978 --> 01:28:37,978
In my dreams, I'm the star of the show.
2295
01:28:42,063 --> 01:28:43,063
In my dreams, it's my barbecue.
2296
01:28:46,452 --> 01:28:47,452
(audience laughing)
2297
01:28:47,429 --> 01:28:48,429
(whimsical music)
2298
01:28:52,191 --> 01:28:53,191
(meat sizzling)
2299
01:28:55,889 --> 01:28:56,889
No, I haven't seen your
grill brush, Maury!
2300
01:29:01,679 --> 01:29:02,679
Uh, yes, I used it to
brush my hair this morning.
2301
01:29:06,104 --> 01:29:07,104
Can't you tell?
2302
01:29:09,191 --> 01:29:10,191
Oh, don't leave me out
here with the meat, Maury!
2303
01:29:15,254 --> 01:29:16,254
Medium wha?
2304
01:29:16,990 --> 01:29:17,990
How can something be
medium and well, Maury?
2305
01:29:22,923 --> 01:29:23,923
Ugh, Maury.
2306
01:29:30,428 --> 01:29:31,428
I turned 40 today.
2307
01:29:32,376 --> 01:29:33,376
(audience laughing)
2308
01:29:33,790 --> 01:29:34,790
(bouncy music)
2309
01:29:35,588 --> 01:29:36,588
(liquid pouring)
2310
01:29:38,721 --> 01:29:39,721
To me.
2311
01:29:41,247 --> 01:29:42,247
♪ Saturday we installed a new bay window ♪
2312
01:29:45,909 --> 01:29:46,909
♪ And it was something right
out of a dream I never had ♪
2313
01:29:53,247 --> 01:29:54,247
(Ruth sighs)
2314
01:29:55,679 --> 01:29:56,679
♪ Saturdays belong to soccer practice ♪
2315
01:30:00,317 --> 01:30:01,317
♪ I pack their little
cakes for after the games ♪
2316
01:30:05,420 --> 01:30:06,420
♪ They never win ♪
2317
01:30:09,350 --> 01:30:10,350
♪ And life is full of
all of the trappings ♪
2318
01:30:14,406 --> 01:30:15,406
♪ Of the well-to-do ♪
2319
01:30:16,668 --> 01:30:17,668
♪ And life goes on ♪
2320
01:30:19,776 --> 01:30:20,776
♪ As I shop for shutters
to obstruct the view ♪
2321
01:30:24,250 --> 01:30:25,250
♪ And life is fine ♪
2322
01:30:27,736 --> 01:30:28,736
♪ If only it were mine ♪
2323
01:30:33,245 --> 01:30:34,245
♪ But just for once I'd be
the center of attention ♪
2324
01:30:41,343 --> 01:30:42,343
♪ Just for once remember
what a life can be ♪
2325
01:30:49,267 --> 01:30:50,267
♪ Just for once I'll feel the light ♪
2326
01:30:53,005 --> 01:30:54,005
♪ Inside the burning of a candle ♪
2327
01:30:57,928 --> 01:30:58,928
♪ Living just for once ♪
2328
01:31:03,662 --> 01:31:04,662
♪ Living just for ♪
2329
01:31:06,587 --> 01:31:07,587
♪ 39 I lose my hair under
careful chemo treatment ♪
2330
01:31:11,312 --> 01:31:12,312
♪ And I was not unhappy ♪
2331
01:31:14,713 --> 01:31:15,713
♪ About the attention I ensnared ♪
2332
01:31:18,558 --> 01:31:19,558
Judge me!
2333
01:31:20,799 --> 01:31:21,799
♪ It fucking worked I'm fucking here ♪
2334
01:31:22,622 --> 01:31:23,622
♪ He's fucking her I'm disappointed ♪
2335
01:31:25,739 --> 01:31:26,739
♪ There's still carpet in the bathroom ♪
2336
01:31:29,129 --> 01:31:30,129
♪ And of the two who's
the worse for wear ♪
2337
01:31:33,299 --> 01:31:34,299
Me!
2338
01:31:34,958 --> 01:31:35,958
♪ We love our dogs especially Captain ♪
2339
01:31:40,360 --> 01:31:41,360
♪ He's a bull-shit mix ♪
2340
01:31:42,394 --> 01:31:43,394
♪ The pool is out the
neighbors come rushing ♪
2341
01:31:47,558 --> 01:31:48,558
♪ Maury prefers their kids ♪
2342
01:31:49,778 --> 01:31:50,778
♪ And the world's a stage ♪
2343
01:31:53,557 --> 01:31:54,557
♪ When you're middle of age ♪
2344
01:31:59,042 --> 01:32:00,042
♪ But just for once my life
could be just what I wanted ♪
2345
01:32:06,931 --> 01:32:07,931
♪ Just for once I'd feel
the spark that I once knew ♪
2346
01:32:14,894 --> 01:32:15,894
♪ Just for once I'd feel the fight ♪
2347
01:32:18,325 --> 01:32:19,325
♪ Inside the burning of a candle ♪
2348
01:32:22,921 --> 01:32:23,921
♪ Something more than I can handle ♪
2349
01:32:26,867 --> 01:32:27,867
♪ Just for once ♪
2350
01:32:32,594 --> 01:32:33,594
♪ Should I flip the burgers now ♪
2351
01:32:36,490 --> 01:32:37,490
♪ Should I double check it's
well done on the outside ♪
2352
01:32:41,453 --> 01:32:42,453
♪ But not within ♪
2353
01:32:43,383 --> 01:32:44,383
(Ruth shouts)
2354
01:32:47,526 --> 01:32:48,526
♪ Should I let the coals burn out ♪
2355
01:32:51,224 --> 01:32:52,224
♪ Should I let the years cook
my body down in front of him ♪
2356
01:32:58,780 --> 01:32:59,780
♪ Oh oh just for once ♪
2357
01:33:04,093 --> 01:33:05,093
♪ Just for once ♪
2358
01:33:07,549 --> 01:33:08,549
♪ Just for once ♪
2359
01:33:23,333 --> 01:33:24,333
♪ The other day the Johnson's
borrowed my tap shoes ♪
2360
01:33:30,402 --> 01:33:31,402
♪ Their eldest daughter is beginning tap ♪
2361
01:33:37,699 --> 01:33:38,699
♪ It was no bother I never ever use them ♪
2362
01:33:44,003 --> 01:33:45,003
♪ I used to dance ♪
2363
01:33:47,834 --> 01:33:48,834
♪ I used to dance ♪
2364
01:33:53,568 --> 01:33:54,568
(Ruth sighs)
2365
01:33:55,445 --> 01:33:56,445
I found your grill brush, Maury.
2366
01:33:58,456 --> 01:33:59,456
(audience laughing)
2367
01:33:59,654 --> 01:34:00,654
It was right here all along.
2368
01:34:08,203 --> 01:34:09,203
(audience cheering and applauding)
2369
01:34:11,535 --> 01:34:12,535
- [Max] Boo!
2370
01:34:13,520 --> 01:34:14,520
Boo! Boo!
2371
01:34:16,182 --> 01:34:17,182
- Huh?
2372
01:34:17,015 --> 01:34:18,015
(eerie music)
2373
01:34:17,848 --> 01:34:18,848
Who's watching me?
2374
01:34:19,098 --> 01:34:20,098
- [Max] You fucking suck, Flem-wad!
2375
01:34:22,047 --> 01:34:23,047
- Oh no, my anxiety! (groans)
2376
01:34:24,119 --> 01:34:25,119
I'm gonna hurl!
2377
01:34:26,813 --> 01:34:27,813
No. No, no, please.
2378
01:34:27,796 --> 01:34:28,796
- [Max] What's the matter, Ruth?
2379
01:34:29,481 --> 01:34:30,481
Having a little stagefright?
2380
01:34:31,698 --> 01:34:32,698
(thunder cracks)
2381
01:34:32,536 --> 01:34:33,536
(Ruth screams)
2382
01:34:34,122 --> 01:34:35,122
- Max Jagerman? (stammers)
2383
01:34:37,325 --> 01:34:38,325
- I believe your next
line is (mimics creaming).
2384
01:34:40,907 --> 01:34:41,907
(thunder cracks)
2385
01:34:42,297 --> 01:34:43,297
- [Ruth] I can't see! Somebody, help!
2386
01:34:44,943 --> 01:34:45,943
- Find your light, nerd!
2387
01:34:47,633 --> 01:34:48,633
(thunder cracks)
2388
01:34:48,809 --> 01:34:49,809
(Max cackles)
(Ruth screams)
2389
01:34:49,642 --> 01:34:50,642
Oh, where you going, Ruth?
2390
01:34:51,935 --> 01:34:52,935
I wanna cast you as my leading lady.
2391
01:34:54,930 --> 01:34:55,930
She's got quite a death scene!
2392
01:34:56,654 --> 01:34:57,654
Let's raise the curtain, shall we?
2393
01:34:59,829 --> 01:35:00,829
- No!
2394
01:35:01,385 --> 01:35:02,385
- Project, Ruth!
2395
01:35:02,544 --> 01:35:03,544
They can't hear you in the back row!
2396
01:35:04,639 --> 01:35:05,639
(Ruth screams)
2397
01:35:05,472 --> 01:35:06,472
- Ow, my butt!
2398
01:35:07,322 --> 01:35:08,322
You're splitting me in two!
2399
01:35:09,176 --> 01:35:10,176
- Show's called "Big Fucking Wedgie"!
2400
01:35:12,640 --> 01:35:13,640
We're still in previews,
2401
01:35:14,006 --> 01:35:15,006
but critics say it's quite a killer!
2402
01:35:16,122 --> 01:35:17,122
(thunder cracks)
(Ruth screams)
2403
01:35:18,403 --> 01:35:19,403
(Max growls)
2404
01:35:19,865 --> 01:35:20,865
- Max, please!
2405
01:35:23,907 --> 01:35:24,907
(audience laughing)
2406
01:35:30,138 --> 01:35:31,138
- What a stirring performance!
2407
01:35:33,470 --> 01:35:34,470
Take a bow, bitch.
2408
01:35:36,791 --> 01:35:37,791
(grim music)
2409
01:35:43,309 --> 01:35:44,309
- All right, everyone, we're back.
2410
01:35:45,111 --> 01:35:46,111
Places for the opening number.
2411
01:35:47,277 --> 01:35:48,277
- Ruth, did you get that...
2412
01:35:48,184 --> 01:35:49,184
(delicate music)
2413
01:35:51,011 --> 01:35:52,011
Oh my god.
2414
01:35:54,237 --> 01:35:55,237
Ruth.
2415
01:35:57,176 --> 01:35:58,176
No! (screams melodramatically)
2416
01:36:08,035 --> 01:36:09,035
(audience cheering and applauding)
2417
01:36:16,204 --> 01:36:17,204
- Afternoon, Miss Chasity,
2418
01:36:17,070 --> 01:36:18,070
Officer Bailey tells
me you've come downtown
2419
01:36:18,935 --> 01:36:19,935
to share some information
2420
01:36:19,959 --> 01:36:20,959
regarding the ongoing
murder investigation.
2421
01:36:22,607 --> 01:36:23,607
- Yes, I think I know
who might be responsible.
2422
01:36:25,720 --> 01:36:26,720
- Really?
2423
01:36:26,553 --> 01:36:27,553
You seemed so tight-lipped the other day,
2424
01:36:28,467 --> 01:36:29,467
but I'm glad you're coming forward, Grace.
2425
01:36:31,462 --> 01:36:32,462
You want some coffee?
2426
01:36:32,743 --> 01:36:33,743
- I'm not allowed to have caffeine.
2427
01:36:34,408 --> 01:36:35,408
When my mom and dad drink coffee,
2428
01:36:35,785 --> 01:36:36,785
they let me have a cup of hot water
2429
01:36:36,894 --> 01:36:37,894
so I don't feel left out.
2430
01:36:38,107 --> 01:36:39,107
Can I have one of those?
2431
01:36:39,559 --> 01:36:40,559
- Oh, that can be arranged.
2432
01:36:41,182 --> 01:36:42,182
Plenty of hot water for you, Grace.
2433
01:36:43,895 --> 01:36:44,895
Bailey?
2434
01:36:46,368 --> 01:36:47,368
So, the night Max Jagerman
died, you went for a bike ride?
2435
01:36:51,281 --> 01:36:52,281
- That's right.
2436
01:36:52,115 --> 01:36:53,115
I was passing the old
Waylon house, on Hickory,
2437
01:36:54,506 --> 01:36:55,506
when I saw Max Jagerman hopping the fence.
2438
01:36:57,354 --> 01:36:58,354
"Strange," I thought.
2439
01:36:58,473 --> 01:36:59,473
"Why would anyone wanna go
into that old, spooky house?"
2440
01:37:02,912 --> 01:37:03,912
I never would.
2441
01:37:04,423 --> 01:37:05,423
Then I saw a van pull up,
2442
01:37:06,306 --> 01:37:07,306
and a group of teenagers got
out and followed Max inside.
2443
01:37:09,390 --> 01:37:10,390
I didn't think anything of it at the time,
2444
01:37:10,830 --> 01:37:11,830
but then, when I heard Richie got killed,
2445
01:37:13,082 --> 01:37:14,082
suddenly I remembered one crucial detail
2446
01:37:15,584 --> 01:37:16,584
that made everything make sense.
2447
01:37:17,734 --> 01:37:18,734
The van those kids were driving that night
2448
01:37:19,584 --> 01:37:20,584
had a bumper sticker on
it that read "Chemists",
2449
01:37:23,645 --> 01:37:24,645
the mascot of Hatchetfield's
sworn enemy, Clivesdale.
2450
01:37:27,800 --> 01:37:28,800
- Oh shit. Not Clivesdale.
2451
01:37:29,848 --> 01:37:30,848
(audience laughing)
2452
01:37:30,944 --> 01:37:31,944
- Think about it.
2453
01:37:31,917 --> 01:37:32,917
Who stands to gain from these murders?
2454
01:37:33,816 --> 01:37:34,816
Max Jagerman, our star quarterback,
2455
01:37:36,365 --> 01:37:37,365
and Richie, our beloved mascot?
2456
01:37:38,688 --> 01:37:39,688
With them on the field,
2457
01:37:39,692 --> 01:37:40,692
the Nighthawks would've
trounced the Chemists.
2458
01:37:41,933 --> 01:37:42,933
They had to go.
2459
01:37:43,443 --> 01:37:44,443
Their murders were part
of an insidious plot
2460
01:37:45,563 --> 01:37:46,563
to rig the big game.
2461
01:37:47,852 --> 01:37:48,852
We don't know how deep this goes,
2462
01:37:49,163 --> 01:37:50,163
but as far as I'm concerned,
every citizen of Clivesdale
2463
01:37:52,896 --> 01:37:53,896
is guilty until proven innocent.
2464
01:37:55,080 --> 01:37:56,080
(audience laughing)
2465
01:37:56,133 --> 01:37:57,133
- Whew. Okay, Grace.
2466
01:37:57,582 --> 01:37:58,582
You want me to open an investigation
2467
01:38:00,067 --> 01:38:01,067
on the entire population of Clivesdale?
2468
01:38:02,364 --> 01:38:03,364
I could spend years on what
might be a wild goose chase.
2469
01:38:06,778 --> 01:38:07,778
- Whatever it takes
for justice to prevail.
2470
01:38:09,412 --> 01:38:10,412
- Well, thank you, Grace.
2471
01:38:11,471 --> 01:38:12,471
This is some incredible detective work.
2472
01:38:13,774 --> 01:38:14,774
- You're welcome.
2473
01:38:14,607 --> 01:38:15,607
- Don't know how to repay you.
2474
01:38:15,823 --> 01:38:16,823
(Grace chuckles)
2475
01:38:17,283 --> 01:38:18,283
Oh, wait!
2476
01:38:19,721 --> 01:38:20,721
Did you happen to lose a WWJD bracelet?
2477
01:38:24,451 --> 01:38:25,451
I found one in your principal's office.
2478
01:38:26,267 --> 01:38:27,267
I think you might've dropped it
2479
01:38:27,320 --> 01:38:28,320
when we brought you in for questioning.
2480
01:38:28,608 --> 01:38:29,608
Oh, that's where it went!
2481
01:38:30,965 --> 01:38:31,965
I've been looking for
this thing everywhere!
2482
01:38:33,284 --> 01:38:34,284
- Don't mention it.
2483
01:38:34,553 --> 01:38:35,553
Oh! Silly me.
2484
01:38:36,945 --> 01:38:37,945
I didn't find that at your school.
2485
01:38:38,860 --> 01:38:39,860
I found it at the old Waylon place.
2486
01:38:41,798 --> 01:38:42,798
(tense music)
2487
01:38:43,689 --> 01:38:44,689
Underneath the floorboards,
if you can believe it.
2488
01:38:47,123 --> 01:38:48,123
Right next to the body
of Maxwell Jagerman.
2489
01:38:52,118 --> 01:38:53,118
Grace, Grace.
2490
01:38:54,431 --> 01:38:55,431
You're not half as smart
as you think you are.
2491
01:38:56,685 --> 01:38:57,685
You say this group of mystery kids
2492
01:38:58,937 --> 01:38:59,937
followed Max into the Waylon house.
2493
01:39:01,184 --> 01:39:02,184
How'd they get in?
2494
01:39:02,519 --> 01:39:03,519
No broken windows. No
sign of forced entry.
2495
01:39:06,321 --> 01:39:07,321
It's almost like they had a key.
2496
01:39:09,666 --> 01:39:10,666
Like maybe one of their
dads was a realtor.
2497
01:39:12,647 --> 01:39:13,647
Isn't your dad a realtor, Grace?
2498
01:39:14,990 --> 01:39:15,990
- Uh, I don't think I
should answer any questions
2499
01:39:16,980 --> 01:39:17,980
until I have a lawyer present.
2500
01:39:18,026 --> 01:39:19,026
(Shapiro chuckles)
2501
01:39:19,127 --> 01:39:20,127
- You're 18, Grace, and we
can try you as an adult,
2502
01:39:21,236 --> 01:39:22,236
and I will personally make sure
2503
01:39:22,525 --> 01:39:23,525
they throw the fuckin' book at you
2504
01:39:23,828 --> 01:39:24,828
if you don't start playin' ball.
2505
01:39:25,404 --> 01:39:26,404
Your little story here
accounts for Max and Richie,
2506
01:39:27,796 --> 01:39:28,796
but it doesn't mention
the death of Ruth Fleming.
2507
01:39:31,563 --> 01:39:32,563
- Ruth's dead?
2508
01:39:32,578 --> 01:39:33,578
- So I don't know who's
masterminding this murder spree,
2509
01:39:35,106 --> 01:39:36,106
but I know you're involved,
and I want answers.
2510
01:39:37,605 --> 01:39:38,605
- I don't know anything!
2511
01:39:39,236 --> 01:39:40,236
- Bailey, place Miss Chasity under arrest.
2512
01:39:40,990 --> 01:39:41,990
- You have the right to remain silent!
2513
01:39:43,426 --> 01:39:44,426
Anything you say can and
will be used against you
2514
01:39:45,286 --> 01:39:46,286
in the court of law!
2515
01:39:46,585 --> 01:39:47,585
- No, no, no, no!
2516
01:39:47,418 --> 01:39:48,418
You can't do this to me, okay?
2517
01:39:48,383 --> 01:39:49,383
This isn't my fault! This isn't my plan!
2518
01:39:50,665 --> 01:39:51,665
- [Shapiro] Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Who's plan was it, Grace?
2519
01:39:52,586 --> 01:39:53,586
- It was God's plan!
2520
01:39:54,675 --> 01:39:55,675
(audience laughing)
2521
01:39:56,138 --> 01:39:57,138
And now he is leaving me out to dry!
2522
01:39:58,774 --> 01:39:59,774
Do something, you son of a bitch!
2523
01:40:01,053 --> 01:40:02,053
- All right. All right.
2524
01:40:02,814 --> 01:40:03,814
Put your hands behind you back!
2525
01:40:04,939 --> 01:40:05,939
Hey! Oh shit!
2526
01:40:05,963 --> 01:40:06,963
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
2527
01:40:07,650 --> 01:40:08,650
Whoa, whoa.
2528
01:40:08,787 --> 01:40:09,787
Grace, Grace, put down the gun.
2529
01:40:10,504 --> 01:40:11,504
You don't want to do anything stupid.
2530
01:40:12,069 --> 01:40:13,069
I don't intend to.
2531
01:40:13,408 --> 01:40:14,408
I'm gonna go to the nearest
church and claim sanctuary!
2532
01:40:16,062 --> 01:40:17,062
- That's not a thing, Grace!
2533
01:40:17,386 --> 01:40:18,386
- Don't follow me!
2534
01:40:19,495 --> 01:40:20,495
(dramatic music)
2535
01:40:21,423 --> 01:40:22,423
- Calling all units.
2536
01:40:22,282 --> 01:40:23,282
Putting out an ABP on one Grace Chasity.
2537
01:40:24,288 --> 01:40:25,288
She's an 18-year-old, Caucasian female.
2538
01:40:26,338 --> 01:40:27,338
She will be riding a pink Schwinn.
2539
01:40:27,715 --> 01:40:28,715
I repeat, a pink bicycle
with a basket and ooga horn.
2540
01:40:30,465 --> 01:40:31,465
Don't let that fool you.
2541
01:40:31,721 --> 01:40:32,721
She is armed and extremely dangerous.
2542
01:40:34,667 --> 01:40:35,667
(audience cheering)
(dramatic music)
2543
01:40:37,612 --> 01:40:38,612
(sirens wailing)
2544
01:40:45,210 --> 01:40:46,210
- Wow.
2545
01:40:46,395 --> 01:40:47,395
Look at all those cop cars.
2546
01:40:48,565 --> 01:40:49,565
I bet they're after a perp.
2547
01:40:50,742 --> 01:40:51,742
- A perp? Seriously?
2548
01:40:53,633 --> 01:40:54,633
- It's short for perpetrator.
2549
01:40:56,483 --> 01:40:57,483
I'm in the neighborhood watch now.
2550
01:40:58,021 --> 01:40:59,021
- Really?
2551
01:40:59,001 --> 01:41:00,001
Well, it sounds like the
streets are safe again.
2552
01:41:01,505 --> 01:41:02,505
Thank god.
2553
01:41:02,963 --> 01:41:03,963
- Uh, well, if you see
anything suspicious,
2554
01:41:06,062 --> 01:41:07,062
you can give me a call.
2555
01:41:09,403 --> 01:41:10,403
- And he gives me his number.
2556
01:41:12,582 --> 01:41:13,582
Very smooth.
2557
01:41:15,081 --> 01:41:16,081
You know, I see you in here all the time.
2558
01:41:16,997 --> 01:41:17,997
What's your name again?
2559
01:41:18,096 --> 01:41:19,096
- It's Paul.
2560
01:41:18,929 --> 01:41:19,929
- Excuse me!
2561
01:41:19,764 --> 01:41:20,764
(audience screams)
2562
01:41:24,133 --> 01:41:25,133
I have been waiting for what
feels like five fucking years,
2563
01:41:27,502 --> 01:41:28,502
and I still have not received
my goddamn hot chocolate!
2564
01:41:31,084 --> 01:41:32,084
(audience cheering and applauding)
2565
01:41:37,330 --> 01:41:38,330
- Sorry, sir.
2566
01:41:40,908 --> 01:41:41,908
(barista spits)
2567
01:41:41,741 --> 01:41:42,741
(audience laughing)
2568
01:41:43,428 --> 01:41:44,428
Here you go.
2569
01:41:46,429 --> 01:41:47,429
- Thank you.
2570
01:41:47,262 --> 01:41:48,262
(audience laughing)
2571
01:41:49,016 --> 01:41:50,016
- Jesus, Pete. Keep it together.
2572
01:41:50,779 --> 01:41:51,779
- Keep it together!?
2573
01:41:51,785 --> 01:41:52,785
There's a murderer on the
loose, who knows what we did,
2574
01:41:54,543 --> 01:41:55,543
and we can't go to the police
2575
01:41:56,067 --> 01:41:57,067
without confessing to manslaughter!
2576
01:41:57,759 --> 01:41:58,759
- Yeah, well having a public meltdown
2577
01:41:58,723 --> 01:41:59,723
in the middle of a coffee shop
2578
01:41:59,760 --> 01:42:00,760
isn't gonna divert suspicion, is it?
2579
01:42:01,510 --> 01:42:02,510
- Oh, this is easy for you.
2580
01:42:03,897 --> 01:42:04,897
You're dad's the mayor.
2581
01:42:05,149 --> 01:42:06,149
He can get you outta all kinds of trouble.
2582
01:42:07,228 --> 01:42:08,228
My dad sells women's shoes!
2583
01:42:09,550 --> 01:42:10,550
(audience laughing)
2584
01:42:12,353 --> 01:42:13,353
I shoulda just kept to myself.
2585
01:42:13,975 --> 01:42:14,975
I never shoulda gotten mixed up with you.
2586
01:42:15,738 --> 01:42:16,738
- Me?
2587
01:42:16,794 --> 01:42:17,794
Oh, so you're saying this is my fault?
2588
01:42:18,692 --> 01:42:19,692
- It's simple causality.
2589
01:42:20,399 --> 01:42:21,399
This whole thing started
2590
01:42:21,707 --> 01:42:22,707
because you asked me
to cheat on that test.
2591
01:42:23,865 --> 01:42:24,865
- Yeah, well you didn't have to say yes,
2592
01:42:25,614 --> 01:42:26,614
so, really, it's your fault!
2593
01:42:27,319 --> 01:42:28,319
- Don't spin this back on me.
2594
01:42:29,097 --> 01:42:30,097
- Ugh, you could've ignored me,
2595
01:42:30,723 --> 01:42:31,723
and I coulda copied off some other nerd.
2596
01:42:33,191 --> 01:42:34,191
But we both know you can't ignore me
2597
01:42:35,196 --> 01:42:36,196
because you're crazy about me.
2598
01:42:38,319 --> 01:42:39,319
- What?
2599
01:42:39,278 --> 01:42:40,278
(audience laughing)
2600
01:42:40,328 --> 01:42:41,328
- It's obvious.
2601
01:42:41,518 --> 01:42:42,518
You can't stay away from me.
2602
01:42:43,175 --> 01:42:44,175
- Oh, oh, really?
2603
01:42:44,772 --> 01:42:45,772
Because you're the one who
invited me to Pasqualli's.
2604
01:42:47,572 --> 01:42:48,572
On the first date, Steph?
2605
01:42:49,024 --> 01:42:50,024
Have some respect for yourself.
2606
01:42:51,344 --> 01:42:52,344
- That was not a date!
2607
01:42:53,372 --> 01:42:54,372
I only go on dates guys who
have the guts to ask me out,
2608
01:42:55,754 --> 01:42:56,754
which you've never done, by the way.
2609
01:42:59,043 --> 01:43:00,043
That dork at the Beanie's
counter has more balls than you!
2610
01:43:01,451 --> 01:43:02,451
- Who says I wanna go on
a date with you anyways?
2611
01:43:03,366 --> 01:43:04,366
- Oh, come on!
2612
01:43:04,587 --> 01:43:05,587
Like Micro-Peter wouldn't
kill to go out with me?
2613
01:43:06,926 --> 01:43:07,926
- You know what, Steph?
2614
01:43:09,642 --> 01:43:10,642
I'm done.
2615
01:43:10,667 --> 01:43:11,667
(energetic music)
2616
01:43:11,887 --> 01:43:12,887
♪ I never wanted you anyway ♪
2617
01:43:15,488 --> 01:43:16,488
♪ I always knew my
place and knew my lane ♪
2618
01:43:18,867 --> 01:43:19,867
♪ But you had to go and
seduce and play your game ♪
2619
01:43:22,379 --> 01:43:23,379
♪ But I'm off that train ♪
2620
01:43:25,775 --> 01:43:26,775
♪ Wait a minute you're not off the hook ♪
2621
01:43:29,130 --> 01:43:30,130
♪ Who's the victim when
you shoot me looks ♪
2622
01:43:32,651 --> 01:43:33,651
♪ I'd never go for a geek who'd
spend the prom in the stall ♪
2623
01:43:37,582 --> 01:43:38,582
♪ If I loved you you would know it ♪
2624
01:43:41,048 --> 01:43:42,048
♪ If I loved you I would show it ♪
2625
01:43:44,502 --> 01:43:45,502
♪ If I loved you like
you should be loved ♪
2626
01:43:48,501 --> 01:43:49,501
♪ If I loved you like I'm capable of ♪
2627
01:43:51,688 --> 01:43:52,688
♪ If you were the one I'm thinking of ♪
2628
01:43:55,200 --> 01:43:56,200
♪ Whoa oh ♪
2629
01:43:57,474 --> 01:43:58,474
♪ Oh babe I'd let you know ♪
2630
01:44:00,164 --> 01:44:01,164
♪ I mean we're graduating anyway ♪
2631
01:44:03,423 --> 01:44:04,423
♪ How's this gonna work
when you are out of state ♪
2632
01:44:06,541 --> 01:44:07,541
♪ Ooh I guess we better save the date ♪
2633
01:44:09,125 --> 01:44:10,125
♪ You homecoming queen ♪
2634
01:44:10,195 --> 01:44:11,195
♪ The football team will meet your needs ♪
2635
01:44:13,887 --> 01:44:14,887
♪ You bet they can oh
babe you bet they can ♪
2636
01:44:17,147 --> 01:44:18,147
♪ Don't need a lover
boy need a lover man ♪
2637
01:44:20,664 --> 01:44:21,664
♪ Sure I'm a sapiosexual
and you're intellectual ♪
2638
01:44:23,038 --> 01:44:24,038
♪ But I'll cut my lover
losses when I can ♪
2639
01:44:25,641 --> 01:44:26,641
♪ If I loved you you would know it ♪
2640
01:44:28,983 --> 01:44:29,983
♪ If I loved you I would show it ♪
2641
01:44:32,433 --> 01:44:33,433
♪ If I loved you like
you should be loved ♪
2642
01:44:36,721 --> 01:44:37,721
♪ If I loved you like I'm capable of ♪
2643
01:44:39,416 --> 01:44:40,416
♪ If you were the one I'm thinking of ♪
2644
01:44:43,021 --> 01:44:44,021
♪ Whoa oh ♪
2645
01:44:45,595 --> 01:44:46,595
♪ Oh babe I'd let you know ♪
2646
01:44:48,011 --> 01:44:49,011
♪ It's only now that I can
see what you're hiding ♪
2647
01:44:52,328 --> 01:44:53,328
♪ You're using me just to move up ♪
2648
01:44:55,089 --> 01:44:56,089
♪ Wake me up when you turn 18 ♪
2649
01:44:58,557 --> 01:44:59,557
♪ Looks like you've got to grow up ♪
2650
01:45:02,036 --> 01:45:03,036
♪ Show me how I'm the user ♪
2651
01:45:04,029 --> 01:45:05,029
♪ When you're using your power ♪
2652
01:45:05,803 --> 01:45:06,803
♪ To slyly get all that you want ♪
2653
01:45:08,360 --> 01:45:09,360
♪ Wake me up when the mean
girl is more than mean ♪
2654
01:45:11,857 --> 01:45:12,857
♪ If I ♪
♪ If I ♪
2655
01:45:13,899 --> 01:45:14,899
♪ If I loved you you would know it ♪
2656
01:45:17,382 --> 01:45:18,382
♪ If I loved you I would show it ♪
2657
01:45:20,831 --> 01:45:21,831
♪ If I loved you like
you should be loved ♪
2658
01:45:24,899 --> 01:45:25,899
♪ If I loved you like I'm capable of ♪
2659
01:45:28,018 --> 01:45:29,018
♪ If you were the one I'm thinking of ♪
2660
01:45:31,393 --> 01:45:32,393
♪ Whoa oh ♪
2661
01:45:33,892 --> 01:45:34,892
♪ Oh babe I'd let you know ♪
2662
01:45:37,335 --> 01:45:38,335
♪ Oh babe I'd let you know ♪
2663
01:45:40,925 --> 01:45:41,925
♪ Oh babe I'd let you know ♪
2664
01:45:44,250 --> 01:45:45,250
♪ I think you'd better go ♪
2665
01:45:49,629 --> 01:45:50,629
- [Both] You first!
2666
01:45:52,240 --> 01:45:53,240
(audience cheering)
2667
01:45:55,752 --> 01:45:56,752
- Leave room for Jesus!
2668
01:45:57,835 --> 01:45:58,835
(audience laughing)
2669
01:45:58,668 --> 01:45:59,668
- [Peter] Grace?
2670
01:45:59,849 --> 01:46:00,849
- How'd it go with the
cops? Did they buy it?
2671
01:46:01,596 --> 01:46:02,596
- Did they buy it? Ha!
2672
01:46:03,301 --> 01:46:04,301
- Dag nammit! I need a dog-gone drink!
2673
01:46:05,239 --> 01:46:06,239
Gimme a cup of hot water,
and make it strong!
2674
01:46:07,503 --> 01:46:08,503
(audience laughing)
2675
01:46:09,247 --> 01:46:10,247
- Grace, you're kinds
freakin' me out here.
2676
01:46:11,359 --> 01:46:12,359
- Yeah. Are we in trouble?
2677
01:46:13,053 --> 01:46:14,053
Do we need to get ahold of Ruth?
2678
01:46:14,367 --> 01:46:15,367
- Good luck getting ahold of her.
2679
01:46:15,833 --> 01:46:16,833
Does your phone plan cover calls to hell?
2680
01:46:19,461 --> 01:46:20,461
- Hell?
2681
01:46:20,546 --> 01:46:21,546
- She's bisexual and dead!
Where else would she be?
2682
01:46:23,069 --> 01:46:24,069
(audience laughing)
2683
01:46:25,797 --> 01:46:26,797
- Wait.
2684
01:46:26,758 --> 01:46:27,758
Wait. Ruth's dead?
2685
01:46:28,551 --> 01:46:29,551
- Apparently.
2686
01:46:31,592 --> 01:46:32,592
The three of us may
need to get out of town.
2687
01:46:33,634 --> 01:46:34,634
- Grace, what did you do?
2688
01:46:36,730 --> 01:46:37,730
- The cops know everything,
but don't worry.
2689
01:46:38,924 --> 01:46:39,924
I have a plan.
2690
01:46:39,757 --> 01:46:40,757
- No! No more of your plans!
2691
01:46:41,484 --> 01:46:42,484
- Just cool your beans, Steph!
2692
01:46:44,142 --> 01:46:45,142
Just cool 'em right the heck down.
2693
01:46:45,446 --> 01:46:46,446
- Oh my god! Is that a gun?
2694
01:46:47,076 --> 01:46:48,076
- Shut the front door, Spankoffski!
2695
01:46:48,316 --> 01:46:49,316
Get in here!
2696
01:46:49,365 --> 01:46:50,365
(suspenseful music)
2697
01:46:51,285 --> 01:46:52,285
Move over!
- Sorry!
2698
01:46:54,563 --> 01:46:55,563
- This is what we're gonna do.
2699
01:46:56,205 --> 01:46:57,205
We're gonna go down to the docks.
2700
01:46:57,723 --> 01:46:58,723
We're gonna commandeer a boat
2701
01:46:58,970 --> 01:46:59,970
and we're gonna sail it to Canada.
2702
01:47:00,902 --> 01:47:01,902
Okay, we may have to give
up some of our liberties,
2703
01:47:02,588 --> 01:47:03,588
but at least we'll stay out of prison!
2704
01:47:04,462 --> 01:47:05,462
- Grace, this is crazy.
2705
01:47:05,821 --> 01:47:06,821
I'm not helping you flee the country!
2706
01:47:07,243 --> 01:47:08,243
- You better!
2707
01:47:08,302 --> 01:47:09,302
'Cause if I'm going down, you
hosers comin' with me, eh.
2708
01:47:10,947 --> 01:47:11,947
Hear that?
2709
01:47:12,642 --> 01:47:13,642
I'm gonna blend right in.
2710
01:47:14,190 --> 01:47:15,190
- Excuse me, everybody! I'm a cop!
2711
01:47:15,964 --> 01:47:16,964
I'm looking for an
18-year-old, Caucasian female.
2712
01:47:19,116 --> 01:47:20,116
- Oh crud!
2713
01:47:20,043 --> 01:47:21,043
- Excuse me, officer.
2714
01:47:21,274 --> 01:47:22,274
I'm with the neighborhood watch.
2715
01:47:23,363 --> 01:47:24,363
I mighta had eyes on your perp.
2716
01:47:24,699 --> 01:47:25,699
- Sir, do not approach me!
2717
01:47:27,200 --> 01:47:28,200
Get your hands outta your pockets!
2718
01:47:28,592 --> 01:47:29,592
- Okay!
2719
01:47:29,425 --> 01:47:30,425
- Put your hands down!
- I'm sorry!
2720
01:47:31,094 --> 01:47:32,094
- He's going for a gun!
2721
01:47:32,575 --> 01:47:33,575
- [Peter] Holy shit!
2722
01:47:33,777 --> 01:47:34,777
- Quick! Into the alley!
2723
01:47:35,325 --> 01:47:36,325
(pair grunting)
2724
01:47:37,073 --> 01:47:38,073
- Stop resisting! Stop resisting!
2725
01:47:39,856 --> 01:47:40,856
(barista shrieks)
2726
01:47:45,435 --> 01:47:46,435
(audience applauding)
2727
01:47:48,799 --> 01:47:49,799
(sirens wailing)
2728
01:47:53,728 --> 01:47:54,728
- Okay, okay, okay.
2729
01:47:55,459 --> 01:47:56,459
Cops are swarming the streets.
2730
01:47:56,736 --> 01:47:57,736
So, you know what?
2731
01:47:57,883 --> 01:47:58,883
We're gonna scale this wall
2732
01:47:59,414 --> 01:48:00,414
and we'll jump from rooftop to rooftop.
2733
01:48:01,229 --> 01:48:02,229
It'll work, 'cause we'll
have the higher ground!
2734
01:48:02,363 --> 01:48:03,363
- Gimme that!
2735
01:48:05,671 --> 01:48:06,671
You have no idea what
the hell you're doing.
2736
01:48:08,594 --> 01:48:09,594
Okay?
2737
01:48:09,427 --> 01:48:10,427
Every plan you've made
over the past three weeks
2738
01:48:11,126 --> 01:48:12,126
has been a fucking disaster!
2739
01:48:14,078 --> 01:48:15,078
You ruined our lives, Grace!
2740
01:48:16,780 --> 01:48:17,780
- I know. (sobs)
2741
01:48:21,416 --> 01:48:22,416
I just haven't been
thinking clearly lately.
2742
01:48:24,942 --> 01:48:25,942
All I wanted was to be a regular girl
2743
01:48:27,746 --> 01:48:28,746
with no sexual desire until
she was safely married.
2744
01:48:32,778 --> 01:48:33,778
I never asked for this
tickle in my mommy spot.
2745
01:48:38,142 --> 01:48:39,142
I've done so many terrible things,
2746
01:48:40,762 --> 01:48:41,762
like touching myself,
and lying to the police.
2747
01:48:44,200 --> 01:48:45,200
(audience laughing)
2748
01:48:47,247 --> 01:48:48,247
- And dismembering a body.
2749
01:48:48,626 --> 01:48:49,626
- Well, we all did that, so.
2750
01:48:52,100 --> 01:48:53,100
But I called God a son of a B-word.
2751
01:48:57,717 --> 01:48:58,717
Who am I? (sobs)
2752
01:49:03,140 --> 01:49:04,140
- It's all right, Grace.
2753
01:49:04,886 --> 01:49:05,886
- Don't comfort her. She's fuckin' weird.
2754
01:49:06,703 --> 01:49:07,703
(audience laughing)
2755
01:49:10,004 --> 01:49:11,004
- You two go.
2756
01:49:12,281 --> 01:49:13,281
I'll turn myself in.
2757
01:49:14,910 --> 01:49:15,910
- No, Grace.
2758
01:49:17,484 --> 01:49:18,484
Unfortunately. we're
in this mess together.
2759
01:49:22,127 --> 01:49:23,127
- A sentiment I understand
all too well, Stephanie.
2760
01:49:25,595 --> 01:49:26,595
- [Peter] Whoa. Mayor Lauter!
2761
01:49:27,958 --> 01:49:28,958
- Dad, how'd you know I was here?
2762
01:49:28,973 --> 01:49:29,973
- Stephanie, please.
2763
01:49:29,973 --> 01:49:30,973
I've been bugging your
phone since you were 12.
2764
01:49:33,034 --> 01:49:34,034
And for good reason.
2765
01:49:34,438 --> 01:49:35,438
The one week I take it away,
2766
01:49:37,147 --> 01:49:38,147
the one week I'm not watching you,
2767
01:49:39,826 --> 01:49:40,826
and you go off a do
something cosmically stupid.
2768
01:49:42,996 --> 01:49:43,996
- Dad, we never meant to hurt anybody.
2769
01:49:44,284 --> 01:49:45,284
- I don't give a shit who you kill.
2770
01:49:47,709 --> 01:49:48,709
But you just had to go and do
it in that house, didn't you?
2771
01:49:52,396 --> 01:49:53,396
You three are coming with me.
2772
01:49:54,926 --> 01:49:55,926
- Are you turning us in?
2773
01:49:56,203 --> 01:49:57,203
- To who? The police?
2774
01:49:58,711 --> 01:49:59,711
They can't stop him.
2775
01:50:00,337 --> 01:50:01,337
Nothing on Earth can stop him.
2776
01:50:03,353 --> 01:50:04,353
- Stop who?
2777
01:50:04,678 --> 01:50:05,678
- Get in the car.
2778
01:50:06,534 --> 01:50:07,534
(intense music)
2779
01:50:10,804 --> 01:50:11,804
(audience cheering and applauding)
2780
01:50:14,075 --> 01:50:15,075
(car zooms by)
2781
01:50:21,209 --> 01:50:22,209
It's a tough job to be
the mayor of this town,
2782
01:50:24,150 --> 01:50:25,150
to stand sentinel at the gates of Hell.
2783
01:50:27,553 --> 01:50:28,553
With the office comes knowledge of certain
2784
01:50:30,087 --> 01:50:31,087
uncomfortable truths.
2785
01:50:31,972 --> 01:50:32,972
- What are you talking about?
2786
01:50:33,169 --> 01:50:34,169
- The Church of the Starry Children.
2787
01:50:35,807 --> 01:50:36,807
That's what they called themselves,
2788
01:50:37,029 --> 01:50:38,029
the Waylons and their little social club.
2789
01:50:41,131 --> 01:50:42,131
It's true, all of it,
2790
01:50:42,084 --> 01:50:43,084
the stories, the cult, the rituals.
2791
01:50:44,326 --> 01:50:45,326
- Told ya!
2792
01:50:45,159 --> 01:50:46,159
- But it wasn't delusion or madness.
2793
01:50:47,217 --> 01:50:48,217
They did have power.
2794
01:50:49,107 --> 01:50:50,107
For 150 years, the
Waylons ruled this town.
2795
01:50:52,323 --> 01:50:53,323
It took an army of ax-wielding maniacs
2796
01:50:54,285 --> 01:50:55,285
to finally lay them low,
2797
01:50:55,998 --> 01:50:56,998
and even then they lived on, in a way.
2798
01:51:00,729 --> 01:51:01,729
For nothing that dies in
Waylon Hall ever truly dies.
2799
01:51:03,736 --> 01:51:04,736
The Church saw to that.
2800
01:51:05,922 --> 01:51:06,922
It was a spell they cast on the house
2801
01:51:07,469 --> 01:51:08,469
to ensure their survival beyond the grave,
2802
01:51:11,329 --> 01:51:12,329
a spell that you three
idiots unwittingly triggered.
2803
01:51:14,845 --> 01:51:15,845
And now someone else is back,
2804
01:51:16,503 --> 01:51:17,503
and he is making good on his promise.
2805
01:51:19,142 --> 01:51:20,142
- Nerdy prudes must die.
2806
01:51:22,544 --> 01:51:23,544
- Are you saying that Max
Jagerman. is a fucking ghost?
2807
01:51:26,455 --> 01:51:27,455
- Ghost, demon, call it want you want,
2808
01:51:29,910 --> 01:51:30,910
but he can go where he
pleases, do as he pleases.
2809
01:51:33,544 --> 01:51:34,544
You can't hurt him. You can't touch him.
2810
01:51:36,737 --> 01:51:37,737
But he can touch you.
2811
01:51:38,772 --> 01:51:39,772
You've created a literal
monster, Stephanie.
2812
01:51:41,586 --> 01:51:42,586
- This is crazy.
2813
01:51:42,830 --> 01:51:43,830
It's not scientifically possible!
2814
01:51:45,151 --> 01:51:46,151
- Tell that to Max when you see him.
2815
01:51:46,486 --> 01:51:47,486
Maybe he'll just fly away.
2816
01:51:48,570 --> 01:51:49,570
(car rumbling)
2817
01:51:51,666 --> 01:51:52,666
- We're here, sir.
2818
01:51:53,935 --> 01:51:54,935
- Thank you, Miss Tessburger.
2819
01:51:56,738 --> 01:51:57,738
Well, out.
2820
01:52:00,036 --> 01:52:01,036
(suspenseful music)
2821
01:52:02,278 --> 01:52:03,278
(insects chirring)
2822
01:52:08,396 --> 01:52:09,396
- [Steph] What are we doing in the woods?
2823
01:52:11,042 --> 01:52:12,042
- I'm not doing anything.
2824
01:52:12,078 --> 01:52:13,078
You three are going to dig.
2825
01:52:14,665 --> 01:52:15,665
There.
2826
01:52:19,444 --> 01:52:20,444
The Waylons had a weapon.
The source of their power.
2827
01:52:22,349 --> 01:52:23,349
When they were killed, it was lost.
2828
01:52:24,951 --> 01:52:25,951
I don't know how many
hands it went through,
2829
01:52:26,224 --> 01:52:27,224
but 15 years ago, it came to me.
2830
01:52:40,844 --> 01:52:41,844
(eerie music)
2831
01:52:45,063 --> 01:52:46,063
- A book?
2832
01:52:47,064 --> 01:52:48,064
- The Black Book.
2833
01:52:48,239 --> 01:52:49,239
(thunder cracks)
2834
01:52:49,996 --> 01:52:50,996
The abominable tome.
2835
01:52:52,361 --> 01:52:53,361
Spells, incantations.
2836
01:52:54,535 --> 01:52:55,535
The keys to unlimited power.
2837
01:52:56,138 --> 01:52:57,138
But it all has a price, a terrible price.
2838
01:53:00,436 --> 01:53:01,436
And you three are going to pay it.
2839
01:53:03,497 --> 01:53:04,497
Because this isn't just about
your worthless little lives.
2840
01:53:06,743 --> 01:53:07,743
Max won't stop with you.
2841
01:53:08,740 --> 01:53:09,740
Once you're dead, he'll kill
all of the nerds, everywhere.
2842
01:53:13,116 --> 01:53:14,116
And he won't stop at killing,
because that's all he is now.
2843
01:53:16,734 --> 01:53:17,734
- Okay.
2844
01:53:17,970 --> 01:53:18,970
Assuming this isn't all
just one big mind-fuck,
2845
01:53:20,839 --> 01:53:21,839
how do we stop him?
2846
01:53:22,439 --> 01:53:23,439
With a spell, from your spell book?
2847
01:53:24,641 --> 01:53:25,641
- No spell can unmake what he's become.
2848
01:53:30,724 --> 01:53:31,724
to summon the things beyond the book,
2849
01:53:33,690 --> 01:53:34,690
those that give the book its power,
2850
01:53:36,970 --> 01:53:37,970
the dark gods the Waylons worshiped.
2851
01:53:38,880 --> 01:53:39,880
- You mean Satan?
2852
01:53:41,463 --> 01:53:42,463
- Oh, no. (chuckles)
2853
01:53:43,277 --> 01:53:44,277
They're much worse.
2854
01:53:45,678 --> 01:53:46,678
To survive this night,
2855
01:53:46,968 --> 01:53:47,968
you'll have to strike a bargain
with the Lords in Black.
2856
01:53:51,056 --> 01:53:52,056
(thunder cracks)
2857
01:53:54,967 --> 01:53:55,967
- [Max] It's like I always say,
2858
01:53:57,045 --> 01:53:58,045
you gotta come to the woods
to do some nerd-watching.
2859
01:54:00,578 --> 01:54:01,578
K-yuck, k-yuck, k-fuck!
2860
01:54:02,826 --> 01:54:03,826
- Who was that?
2861
01:54:04,343 --> 01:54:05,343
- [Mayor Lauter] Who do you think?
2862
01:54:07,805 --> 01:54:08,805
- Max?
2863
01:54:09,164 --> 01:54:10,164
- [Max] Surprise, Steph!
2864
01:54:11,992 --> 01:54:12,992
I've got one hell of a
party planned for ya.
2865
01:54:14,682 --> 01:54:15,682
The last one you threw
for me was such a killer,
2866
01:54:16,964 --> 01:54:17,964
I thought I'd return the favor, bitch!
2867
01:54:20,044 --> 01:54:21,044
- Max, what happened that
night, it was an accident!
2868
01:54:23,191 --> 01:54:24,191
You know it was an accident!
2869
01:54:24,730 --> 01:54:25,730
- Stop trying to reason with it.
2870
01:54:25,954 --> 01:54:26,954
I gave you the book. Perform the ritual!
2871
01:54:27,955 --> 01:54:28,955
- We don't know how! You do it!
2872
01:54:29,420 --> 01:54:30,420
- No!
2873
01:54:30,339 --> 01:54:31,339
I'm not touching that book ever again!
2874
01:54:32,601 --> 01:54:33,601
You started this,
Stephanie! You finish it!
2875
01:54:35,598 --> 01:54:36,598
- [Max] These woods always
were a bitchin' make-out spot.
2876
01:54:39,144 --> 01:54:40,144
In fact, I just put the moves
on this total smoke-show.
2877
01:54:42,610 --> 01:54:43,610
She gave me head in her car.
2878
01:54:45,479 --> 01:54:46,479
Check it out!
2879
01:54:47,209 --> 01:54:48,209
(head thuds)
2880
01:54:49,498 --> 01:54:50,498
(all screaming)
2881
01:54:55,230 --> 01:54:56,230
- Damn you, Miss Tessburger.
2882
01:54:57,598 --> 01:54:58,598
You were worthless.
2883
01:54:59,449 --> 01:55:00,449
(audience laughing)
2884
01:55:00,678 --> 01:55:01,678
(thunder cracks)
2885
01:55:03,436 --> 01:55:04,436
- Hiya, Mr. Mayor.
2886
01:55:06,635 --> 01:55:07,635
Ready for your recall?
2887
01:55:08,655 --> 01:55:09,655
- No, no, no. Max, remember.
2888
01:55:11,301 --> 01:55:12,301
Nerdy prudes must die.
2889
01:55:14,042 --> 01:55:15,042
That's not me. I'm an elected official.
2890
01:55:17,751 --> 01:55:18,751
I'm the most powerful man in Hatchetfield.
2891
01:55:22,308 --> 01:55:23,308
- I beg to differ, bitch.
2892
01:55:25,089 --> 01:55:26,089
- Of course, you are the most powerful.
2893
01:55:27,213 --> 01:55:28,213
But I can help you.
2894
01:55:29,086 --> 01:55:30,086
I have connections. I have friends.
2895
01:55:31,590 --> 01:55:32,590
I can buy you beer.
2896
01:55:33,662 --> 01:55:34,662
(audience laughing)
2897
01:55:34,742 --> 01:55:35,742
How does that sound, son?
2898
01:55:36,936 --> 01:55:37,936
- I hate politics.
2899
01:55:38,733 --> 01:55:39,733
It's for nerds!
2900
01:55:39,966 --> 01:55:40,966
- No, Max, don't do this.
2901
01:55:42,022 --> 01:55:43,022
- Watch out, Mr. Mayor.
2902
01:55:43,676 --> 01:55:44,676
Here comes the swing vote!
2903
01:55:45,368 --> 01:55:46,368
- No! No!
2904
01:55:46,227 --> 01:55:47,227
(Max growling)
(Mayor screaming)
2905
01:55:47,970 --> 01:55:48,970
(shovel stabs)
2906
01:55:49,892 --> 01:55:50,892
- [Steph] Dad!
2907
01:55:50,843 --> 01:55:51,843
- Steph, we gotta keep moving!
2908
01:55:52,968 --> 01:55:53,968
- OMG! This book is crazy!
2909
01:55:55,176 --> 01:55:56,176
- Did you find that ritual?
2910
01:55:56,075 --> 01:55:57,075
- I think so.
2911
01:55:57,277 --> 01:55:58,277
But we can't perform it out here.
2912
01:55:59,139 --> 01:56:00,139
It needs to be performed at a black altar?
2913
01:56:01,200 --> 01:56:02,200
- What?
2914
01:56:02,189 --> 01:56:03,189
- One of five special
places in Hatchetfield.
2915
01:56:04,270 --> 01:56:05,270
See? Look.
2916
01:56:05,325 --> 01:56:06,325
They're spread around town. There's a map.
2917
01:56:07,097 --> 01:56:08,097
- Okay.
2918
01:56:08,208 --> 01:56:09,208
- That's downtown, meaning that...
2919
01:56:12,309 --> 01:56:13,309
I don't know!
2920
01:56:13,142 --> 01:56:14,142
- It's the Starlight Theater.
2921
01:56:14,466 --> 01:56:15,466
And that's the Waylon
place. And the old mill.
2922
01:56:17,048 --> 01:56:18,048
- It's Lakeside Mall now.
2923
01:56:19,645 --> 01:56:20,645
- All places the Waylons built.
2924
01:56:22,695 --> 01:56:23,695
- That would make one of
'em Hatchetfield High.
2925
01:56:24,587 --> 01:56:25,587
Right, Grace?
2926
01:56:26,915 --> 01:56:27,915
- Oh, shit! Someone's coming!
2927
01:56:28,714 --> 01:56:29,714
- Pete, get behind me! I've got a gun!
2928
01:56:30,885 --> 01:56:31,885
(audience laughing)
2929
01:56:31,877 --> 01:56:32,877
- Steph, it's a ghost.
2930
01:56:34,053 --> 01:56:35,053
I don't think that's gonna do any good.
2931
01:56:35,847 --> 01:56:36,847
- [Shapiro] On the
ground, bitch! I'm a cop!
2932
01:56:37,322 --> 01:56:38,322
- Huh?
- Huh?
2933
01:56:39,385 --> 01:56:40,385
- Heck! Heck no!
2934
01:56:40,997 --> 01:56:41,997
- Well, well. Grace Chasity,
and her accomplices, huh?
2935
01:56:44,278 --> 01:56:45,278
Hands above your heads!
2936
01:56:46,346 --> 01:56:47,346
- Detective Shapiro, you
have no idea what's going on.
2937
01:56:48,628 --> 01:56:49,628
If you just listen to me-
2938
01:56:49,649 --> 01:56:50,649
- Shut up, Chasity!
2939
01:56:50,604 --> 01:56:51,604
The only thing I'm gonna
do is take you three in.
2940
01:56:53,356 --> 01:56:54,356
Back of the squad car, now!
2941
01:56:57,996 --> 01:56:58,996
(siren wailing)
2942
01:57:02,927 --> 01:57:03,927
- Officer, please. You
have to listen to us.
2943
01:57:04,467 --> 01:57:05,467
We know who's killing everybody!
2944
01:57:05,790 --> 01:57:06,790
- So do I.
2945
01:57:06,883 --> 01:57:07,883
You three!
2946
01:57:07,963 --> 01:57:08,963
I don't know if this is
some kind of sick club,
2947
01:57:09,744 --> 01:57:10,744
an online trend you found on Reddit.
2948
01:57:11,724 --> 01:57:12,724
I don't get you kids.
2949
01:57:12,916 --> 01:57:13,916
Poppin' Tide Pods like
they're fuckin' candy!
2950
01:57:15,178 --> 01:57:16,178
(audience laughing)
2951
01:57:16,011 --> 01:57:17,011
- Detective Shapiro, are
you a woman of faith?
2952
01:57:18,168 --> 01:57:19,168
- Catholic.
2953
01:57:19,131 --> 01:57:20,131
- I'll take that as a no.
2954
01:57:20,760 --> 01:57:21,760
(audience laughing)
2955
01:57:22,560 --> 01:57:23,560
Imagine you're a good Christian.
2956
01:57:24,790 --> 01:57:25,790
Sometimes you have to listen to people
2957
01:57:26,734 --> 01:57:27,734
and believe what they say,
even if it sounds crazy,
2958
01:57:28,920 --> 01:57:29,920
against everything you know,
2959
01:57:30,350 --> 01:57:31,350
in spite of all your common sense.
2960
01:57:31,927 --> 01:57:32,927
- Grace, you are the least
fucking persuasive person!
2961
01:57:34,970 --> 01:57:35,970
- I'm telling you Max
Jagerman is the killer!
2962
01:57:37,531 --> 01:57:38,531
He's back from the dead,
2963
01:57:38,611 --> 01:57:39,611
and we're the only ones who can stop him.
2964
01:57:41,634 --> 01:57:42,634
(brakes screech)
2965
01:57:42,898 --> 01:57:43,898
- Are you outta your goddamn mind?
2966
01:57:44,667 --> 01:57:45,667
I examined the corpse of
the Jagerman boy myself.
2967
01:57:46,831 --> 01:57:47,831
He was in pieces, just
how you three left him!
2968
01:57:49,559 --> 01:57:50,559
He was gray. He was rotting.
2969
01:57:51,670 --> 01:57:52,670
He was-
- There!
2970
01:57:52,960 --> 01:57:53,960
(thunder cracks)
2971
01:57:55,274 --> 01:57:56,274
- [Grace] He's right there!
2972
01:57:57,314 --> 01:57:58,314
- What the fuck?
2973
01:57:58,221 --> 01:57:59,221
(Max snarls)
2974
01:57:59,054 --> 01:58:00,054
- Drive, drive, drive, drive!
2975
01:57:59,887 --> 01:58:00,887
- Drive!
2976
01:58:00,720 --> 01:58:01,720
(tires squealing)
2977
01:58:03,900 --> 01:58:04,900
(suspenseful music)
2978
01:58:06,852 --> 01:58:07,852
- What was that?
2979
01:58:08,545 --> 01:58:09,545
- Now do you believe us?
2980
01:58:10,010 --> 01:58:11,010
- There's something not right here.
2981
01:58:10,994 --> 01:58:11,994
There's something deeply
wrong with this whole town!
2982
01:58:13,105 --> 01:58:14,105
I always thought so!
2983
01:58:14,604 --> 01:58:15,604
I never shoulda left Chicago, damn it!
2984
01:58:16,737 --> 01:58:17,737
(electricity crackles)
2985
01:58:17,629 --> 01:58:18,629
- Ya miss the Windy City?
2986
01:58:20,501 --> 01:58:21,501
(thunder cracks)
2987
01:58:21,334 --> 01:58:22,334
Well, let me throw you
through the windshield, bitch!
2988
01:58:24,653 --> 01:58:25,653
(windshield shatters)
2989
01:58:26,447 --> 01:58:27,447
(car crashes)
2990
01:58:28,411 --> 01:58:29,411
(dramatic music)
2991
01:58:35,581 --> 01:58:36,581
(Peter groaning)
2992
01:58:37,283 --> 01:58:38,283
- Steph! Are you okay?
2993
01:58:41,325 --> 01:58:42,325
- I'll live.
2994
01:58:42,754 --> 01:58:43,754
- Not for long.
2995
01:58:44,217 --> 01:58:45,217
Max is toying with us.
2996
01:58:45,581 --> 01:58:46,581
He could end this at any time!
2997
01:58:48,196 --> 01:58:49,196
- So then let's end him first.
2998
01:58:50,637 --> 01:58:51,637
Pete, is she okay? Can you feel a pulse?
2999
01:58:54,631 --> 01:58:55,631
- I have no idea what I'm doing.
3000
01:58:56,213 --> 01:58:57,213
(audience laughing)
3001
01:58:58,854 --> 01:58:59,854
But the school is quarter mile that way
3002
01:59:00,516 --> 01:59:01,516
if we cut through Pinebrook.
3003
01:59:02,707 --> 01:59:03,707
Come on.
3004
01:59:04,691 --> 01:59:05,691
(somber music)
3005
01:59:13,908 --> 01:59:14,908
- What do you think?
3006
01:59:15,281 --> 01:59:16,281
In here?
3007
01:59:16,564 --> 01:59:17,564
- Well, the gym's as good a place as any.
3008
01:59:19,935 --> 01:59:20,935
- Okay, here's the ritual.
3009
01:59:23,307 --> 01:59:24,307
"Holding Court with the Void."
3010
01:59:27,695 --> 01:59:28,695
- Steph, are you sure about this?
3011
01:59:31,345 --> 01:59:32,345
I mean, who knows what kind
of door we're gonna open?
3012
01:59:35,721 --> 01:59:36,721
- We have to, Pete.
3013
01:59:37,920 --> 01:59:38,920
For Ruth, and Richie, and everyone.
3014
01:59:44,809 --> 01:59:45,809
Grace, summon these bastards.
3015
01:59:48,179 --> 01:59:49,179
(dramatic music)
3016
01:59:49,228 --> 01:59:50,228
- Okay.
3017
01:59:51,480 --> 01:59:52,480
We invoke the names.
3018
01:59:54,568 --> 01:59:55,568
♪ Pokotho ♪
3019
01:59:59,868 --> 02:00:00,868
♪ Bliklotep ♪
3020
02:00:01,822 --> 02:00:02,822
(eerie whispering)
3021
02:00:07,725 --> 02:00:08,725
♪ T'noy Keraxis ♪
3022
02:00:14,290 --> 02:00:15,290
♪ Nibblelinephym ♪
3023
02:00:20,245 --> 02:00:21,245
♪ Wiggog Y'rath ♪
3024
02:00:22,091 --> 02:00:23,091
♪ Ah-oh ah-oh oh ♪
3025
02:00:25,302 --> 02:00:26,302
♪ Ah-oh ah-oh oh ♪
3026
02:00:28,521 --> 02:00:29,521
♪ Ah-oh ah-oh oh ♪
3027
02:00:31,877 --> 02:00:32,877
♪ Oh-Oh ♪
♪ Wiggog Y'rath ♪
3028
02:00:34,499 --> 02:00:35,499
(wind whistling)
3029
02:00:36,136 --> 02:00:37,136
- [Peter] Did it work?
3030
02:00:38,430 --> 02:00:39,430
- Hello, fwendy-wends.
3031
02:00:40,551 --> 02:00:41,551
(all screaming)
3032
02:00:41,416 --> 02:00:42,416
(thunder cracks)
(dramatic music)
3033
02:00:45,229 --> 02:00:46,229
(Lords in Black cackling)
3034
02:00:51,702 --> 02:00:52,702
♪ Out of the depths of Hell and back ♪
3035
02:00:52,847 --> 02:00:53,847
♪ Us spawn of the Black and White ♪
3036
02:00:54,835 --> 02:00:55,835
♪ Cover our souls with robes of black ♪
3037
02:00:56,438 --> 02:00:57,438
♪ And take up the arms of night ♪
3038
02:00:58,173 --> 02:00:59,173
♪ Nibbleline wants his sacrifice ♪
3039
02:00:59,561 --> 02:01:00,561
♪ And Wiggly wants his wrath ♪
3040
02:01:01,412 --> 02:01:02,412
♪ We dance around the pentagram ♪
3041
02:01:02,991 --> 02:01:03,991
♪ And take all our kingdoms back ♪
3042
02:01:05,001 --> 02:01:06,001
♪ Babble the spell that gets it done ♪
3043
02:01:06,399 --> 02:01:07,399
♪ Babble it on command ♪
3044
02:01:08,035 --> 02:01:09,035
♪ Won't stop until all
the blood is drawn ♪
3045
02:01:09,679 --> 02:01:10,679
♪ The lords and black demand ♪
3046
02:01:11,380 --> 02:01:12,380
♪ You summon us once
you summon us twice, ♪
3047
02:01:12,873 --> 02:01:13,873
♪ You gamble it on a roll of the dice ♪
3048
02:01:15,540 --> 02:01:16,540
♪ La la la la la la ♪
3049
02:01:18,329 --> 02:01:19,329
♪ The devil has won it can't be undone ♪
3050
02:01:19,786 --> 02:01:20,786
♪ The book has all but
closed on your life ♪
3051
02:01:21,800 --> 02:01:22,800
♪ The Lords in Black ♪
3052
02:01:23,406 --> 02:01:24,406
♪ The Lords in Black ♪
3053
02:01:25,182 --> 02:01:26,182
(gentle piano music)
3054
02:01:26,346 --> 02:01:27,346
- We've been watching you, Gracie.
3055
02:01:29,350 --> 02:01:30,350
Someone's been a little naughty!
3056
02:01:32,191 --> 02:01:33,191
- Oh boy, a Spankoffski!
3057
02:01:36,090 --> 02:01:37,090
I'm gonna have the
whole set in my toy box!
3058
02:01:40,008 --> 02:01:41,008
- Stephanie! Yum yum!
3059
02:01:42,934 --> 02:01:43,934
- Are you the Lords in Black?
3060
02:01:46,588 --> 02:01:47,588
♪ Out of the depths of Hell and back ♪
3061
02:01:47,938 --> 02:01:48,938
♪ We travel very far ♪
3062
02:01:49,783 --> 02:01:50,783
♪ Cover our souls with robes of black ♪
3063
02:01:51,212 --> 02:01:52,212
♪ The Lords in Black we are ♪
3064
02:01:53,551 --> 02:01:54,551
- Don't be so formal, Stephie.
3065
02:01:55,815 --> 02:01:56,815
We're all paly-wals here.
3066
02:01:58,336 --> 02:01:59,336
I mean, look at us.
3067
02:01:59,946 --> 02:02:00,946
We even hold court in
your own tongue and form.
3068
02:02:03,474 --> 02:02:04,474
Go Nighthawks!
3069
02:02:04,830 --> 02:02:05,830
(Lords in Black laughing)
3070
02:02:07,233 --> 02:02:08,233
- Our true forms would melt your minds.
3071
02:02:10,952 --> 02:02:11,952
- Don't frighten them,
Pokey, you nasty boy.
3072
02:02:13,927 --> 02:02:14,927
- We need to stop Max Jagerman.
3073
02:02:16,667 --> 02:02:17,667
We heard you could help us.
3074
02:02:19,679 --> 02:02:20,679
♪ The Lords in Black will help you yes ♪
3075
02:02:21,299 --> 02:02:22,299
♪ You stupid silly girl ♪
3076
02:02:22,982 --> 02:02:23,982
♪ Why help you with the Jagerman ♪
3077
02:02:24,584 --> 02:02:25,584
♪ When we can help the world! ♪
3078
02:02:26,914 --> 02:02:27,914
- Hm, we could.
3079
02:02:29,196 --> 02:02:30,196
We could take hold of little Maxie
3080
02:02:31,161 --> 02:02:32,161
and pull him right down to Drowsy Town.
3081
02:02:33,363 --> 02:02:34,363
- Swallow his soul! I wanna lick it!
3082
02:02:36,810 --> 02:02:37,810
- But why?
3083
02:02:38,114 --> 02:02:39,114
Maxie-poo's about to get you.
3084
02:02:40,287 --> 02:02:41,287
Tear you all to bloody bits.
3085
02:02:42,522 --> 02:02:43,522
- I wanna see that.
3086
02:02:44,513 --> 02:02:45,513
(Lord in Black snickers)
3087
02:02:45,346 --> 02:02:46,346
- What about a bargain?
3088
02:02:46,788 --> 02:02:47,788
We'll give you whatever you want.
3089
02:02:47,621 --> 02:02:48,621
Just get rid of Jagerman!
3090
02:02:48,849 --> 02:02:49,849
- Whatever we want??
3091
02:02:51,223 --> 02:02:52,223
♪ Whatever we want we want we want ♪
3092
02:02:52,719 --> 02:02:53,719
♪ Whatever we want we get ♪
3093
02:02:54,585 --> 02:02:55,585
♪ Whatever you want you want you want ♪
3094
02:02:55,937 --> 02:02:56,937
♪ Forever in our debt ♪
3095
02:02:58,317 --> 02:02:59,317
Hm, what could you give to me?
3096
02:03:02,110 --> 02:03:03,110
Let me check my Christmas list.
3097
02:03:05,306 --> 02:03:06,306
Ah! There is something.
3098
02:03:09,289 --> 02:03:10,289
- What? What do you want from us?
3099
02:03:11,102 --> 02:03:12,102
- Something fun!
3100
02:03:13,151 --> 02:03:14,151
- Something tasty!
3101
02:03:16,354 --> 02:03:17,354
- Oh, you'll hardly miss it.
3102
02:03:19,318 --> 02:03:20,318
We just want what you cherish most.
3103
02:03:23,242 --> 02:03:24,242
That's all.
3104
02:03:25,244 --> 02:03:26,244
♪ The Lords in Black the
Lords in Black call us ♪
3105
02:03:28,181 --> 02:03:29,181
(Lord in Black giggling)
3106
02:03:30,756 --> 02:03:31,756
- What we cherish most?
3107
02:03:32,290 --> 02:03:33,290
What do you mean?
3108
02:03:33,468 --> 02:03:34,468
- What do you want, Steph?
3109
02:03:35,610 --> 02:03:36,610
- One of you must give up the thing
3110
02:03:37,243 --> 02:03:38,243
you treasure above all else.
3111
02:03:40,579 --> 02:03:41,579
- Do it, or die!
3112
02:03:44,375 --> 02:03:45,375
- Treasure above all else?
3113
02:03:46,544 --> 02:03:47,544
I know what it is.
3114
02:03:48,568 --> 02:03:49,568
My phone!
3115
02:03:49,481 --> 02:03:50,481
(audience laughing)
3116
02:03:50,382 --> 02:03:51,382
My whole life's on this thing!
3117
02:03:52,243 --> 02:03:53,243
My contacts, my pictures!
3118
02:03:54,778 --> 02:03:55,778
♪ We don't give a shit about your phone ♪
3119
02:03:57,076 --> 02:03:58,076
(audience laughing)
3120
02:03:58,236 --> 02:03:59,236
We want what you really want.
3121
02:04:01,658 --> 02:04:02,658
You can't lie to us, Steph.
3122
02:04:04,640 --> 02:04:05,640
You can lie to yourself, but not to me.
3123
02:04:09,772 --> 02:04:10,772
Think about it.
3124
02:04:14,097 --> 02:04:15,097
Ah, there he is!
3125
02:04:17,823 --> 02:04:18,823
- Steph?
3126
02:04:19,414 --> 02:04:20,414
No.
3127
02:04:20,957 --> 02:04:21,957
- No!
3128
02:04:21,790 --> 02:04:22,790
- What's in your pocket, Stephanie?
3129
02:04:24,715 --> 02:04:25,715
♪ Stephanie has got a gun ♪
3130
02:04:26,134 --> 02:04:27,134
♪ Tra-La-La-la how fun ♪
3131
02:04:28,023 --> 02:04:29,023
♪ Stephanie has got a gun ♪
3132
02:04:29,485 --> 02:04:30,485
♪ She knows what must be done ♪
3133
02:04:31,761 --> 02:04:32,761
Put a bullet in his brain,
3134
02:04:33,327 --> 02:04:34,327
and we'll take Maxwell off your plate.
3135
02:04:37,578 --> 02:04:38,578
- I...
3136
02:04:38,731 --> 02:04:39,731
I can't!
3137
02:04:40,410 --> 02:04:41,410
- Pay the price, or fuck off!
3138
02:04:45,017 --> 02:04:46,017
♪ The Lords in Black the
Lords in Black call us ♪
3139
02:04:47,992 --> 02:04:48,992
♪ Out of the depths of hell and back ♪
3140
02:04:49,381 --> 02:04:50,381
♪ Us spawn of the black and white ♪
3141
02:04:51,094 --> 02:04:52,094
♪ Cover our souls with robes of black ♪
3142
02:04:52,898 --> 02:04:53,898
♪ And take up the arms of night ♪
3143
02:04:54,652 --> 02:04:55,652
♪ You summon us once you summon us twice ♪
3144
02:04:56,227 --> 02:04:57,227
♪ You gamble it on a roll of the dice ♪
3145
02:04:58,458 --> 02:04:59,458
♪ La la la la la la la la la la ♪
3146
02:05:01,249 --> 02:05:02,249
♪ The devil has won it can't be undone ♪
3147
02:05:02,828 --> 02:05:03,828
♪ The book has all but
closed on your life ♪
3148
02:05:05,332 --> 02:05:06,332
♪ The Lords in Black ♪
3149
02:05:06,720 --> 02:05:07,720
♪ The Lords in Black ♪
3150
02:05:08,310 --> 02:05:09,310
(thunder cracks)
3151
02:05:09,332 --> 02:05:10,332
(The Lords in Black cackling)
3152
02:05:12,886 --> 02:05:13,886
(audience cheering)
3153
02:05:17,901 --> 02:05:18,901
(melancholy music)
3154
02:05:23,740 --> 02:05:24,740
- Steph?
3155
02:05:25,987 --> 02:05:26,987
What did those things mean?
3156
02:05:28,876 --> 02:05:29,876
Who do they want you to kill?
3157
02:05:33,329 --> 02:05:34,329
- Pete, I think we need to talk.
3158
02:05:37,057 --> 02:05:38,057
- Hey, nerds!
3159
02:05:39,847 --> 02:05:40,847
Welcome to gym class.
3160
02:05:41,613 --> 02:05:42,613
Today, we're gonna play' kickball.
3161
02:05:43,524 --> 02:05:44,524
My foot, your balls, bitch!
3162
02:05:46,133 --> 02:05:47,133
- [Grace] We gotta get outta here!
3163
02:05:48,644 --> 02:05:49,644
(dramatic music)
3164
02:05:52,619 --> 02:05:53,619
- Run, nerds. Run.
3165
02:05:57,678 --> 02:05:58,678
(audience cheering and applauding)
3166
02:06:02,673 --> 02:06:03,673
- Come on, Pete!
3167
02:06:03,938 --> 02:06:04,938
We'll hop the fence, and we'll
cross the football field,
3168
02:06:06,215 --> 02:06:07,215
and we'll keep running!
3169
02:06:07,539 --> 02:06:08,539
We'll hide!
3170
02:06:09,018 --> 02:06:10,018
- It doesn't matter where we go!
3171
02:06:11,371 --> 02:06:12,371
He'll find us!
3172
02:06:16,185 --> 02:06:17,185
There's only one way to end this.
3173
02:06:23,150 --> 02:06:24,150
Steph, I know what those
things want you to do.
3174
02:06:27,840 --> 02:06:28,840
(melancholy music)
3175
02:06:30,736 --> 02:06:31,736
- No.
3176
02:06:37,331 --> 02:06:38,331
- All my life I just
wanted a girl to like me.
3177
02:06:43,943 --> 02:06:44,943
But I guess it's not all roses, huh?
3178
02:06:46,642 --> 02:06:47,642
(Steph yells)
3179
02:06:49,477 --> 02:06:50,477
- This is all your fault, Spankoffski.
3180
02:06:52,492 --> 02:06:53,492
I just wanted to cheat off of a geek!
3181
02:06:56,214 --> 02:06:57,214
I didn't wanna like you. You made me.
3182
02:07:00,037 --> 02:07:01,037
Well, I refuse!
3183
02:07:01,561 --> 02:07:02,561
You give up what you want.
3184
02:07:03,606 --> 02:07:04,606
Your Pokemon cards or
your comic collection,
3185
02:07:06,295 --> 02:07:07,295
or whatever it is you're into.
3186
02:07:07,587 --> 02:07:08,587
- It's you, Steph.
3187
02:07:12,021 --> 02:07:13,021
I'm into you.
3188
02:07:17,562 --> 02:07:18,562
No matter what, one of us has to die.
3189
02:07:23,318 --> 02:07:24,318
And not just to save the
other. To save everyone.
3190
02:07:32,884 --> 02:07:33,884
Let me do it.
3191
02:07:37,891 --> 02:07:38,891
♪ You can call this luck ♪
3192
02:07:40,567 --> 02:07:41,567
♪ That's my perspective ♪
3193
02:07:44,352 --> 02:07:45,352
♪ One of us is in love ♪
3194
02:07:46,885 --> 02:07:47,885
♪ It doesn't take a detective ♪
3195
02:07:49,710 --> 02:07:50,710
- Pete, I can't...
3196
02:07:51,980 --> 02:07:52,980
I can't shoot you!
3197
02:07:54,784 --> 02:07:55,784
♪ Let me be cool this time ♪
3198
02:07:57,567 --> 02:07:58,567
♪ Let me take the bullet ♪
3199
02:08:00,351 --> 02:08:01,351
♪ Is it really a crime ♪
3200
02:08:02,371 --> 02:08:03,371
♪ If you get to live your
life to the fullest ♪
3201
02:08:05,919 --> 02:08:06,919
♪ What do you think you're doing ♪
3202
02:08:08,333 --> 02:08:09,333
♪ What do you think I'm doing ♪
3203
02:08:10,660 --> 02:08:11,660
♪ What if you are wrong ♪
3204
02:08:13,842 --> 02:08:14,842
♪ What if I am wrong ♪
3205
02:08:15,682 --> 02:08:16,682
♪ What if I should go ♪
3206
02:08:18,562 --> 02:08:19,562
♪ You get to live on ♪
3207
02:08:21,232 --> 02:08:22,232
♪ If I really really really did love you ♪
3208
02:08:25,627 --> 02:08:26,627
♪ You'd have to say ♪
3209
02:08:27,205 --> 02:08:28,205
♪ I know. ♪
3210
02:08:32,325 --> 02:08:33,325
♪ You're not as cool
as you think you are ♪
3211
02:08:34,879 --> 02:08:35,879
♪ But you're as smart as I know you are ♪
3212
02:08:37,099 --> 02:08:38,099
♪ If I loved you ♪
3213
02:08:39,564 --> 02:08:40,564
♪ If I can finally be cool ♪
3214
02:08:42,611 --> 02:08:43,611
♪ If I loved you ♪
3215
02:08:45,178 --> 02:08:46,178
♪ I would show it ♪
3216
02:08:47,325 --> 02:08:48,325
♪ If I ♪
3217
02:08:49,287 --> 02:08:50,287
♪ And if I finally break the rules ♪
3218
02:08:54,691 --> 02:08:55,691
♪ I would know that ♪
3219
02:08:57,211 --> 02:08:58,211
♪ You have to do it ♪
3220
02:09:06,139 --> 02:09:07,139
♪ If I loved you ♪
3221
02:09:10,103 --> 02:09:11,103
♪ You would know it ♪
3222
02:09:13,376 --> 02:09:14,376
♪ If I loved you ♪
3223
02:09:17,995 --> 02:09:18,995
♪ I couldn't show it ♪
3224
02:09:21,401 --> 02:09:22,401
♪ If I loved you like
you should be loved ♪
3225
02:09:29,626 --> 02:09:30,626
♪ Loved you more than the stars above ♪
3226
02:09:36,934 --> 02:09:37,934
♪ Loved you like I could've ♪
3227
02:09:43,250 --> 02:09:44,250
♪ Whoa oh ♪
3228
02:09:50,003 --> 02:09:51,003
♪ I'd I have to let you go ♪
3229
02:09:55,522 --> 02:09:56,522
♪ I'd have to let you go ♪
3230
02:10:01,321 --> 02:10:02,321
♪ I'd have to let you ♪
3231
02:10:10,221 --> 02:10:11,221
- Hey, Steph?
3232
02:10:13,223 --> 02:10:14,223
If things were different,
3233
02:10:15,848 --> 02:10:16,848
would you wanna go to Homecoming with me?
3234
02:10:20,907 --> 02:10:21,907
- I'd like that, Pete.
3235
02:10:25,843 --> 02:10:26,843
I'd really like that.
3236
02:10:29,974 --> 02:10:30,974
- Cool.
3237
02:10:34,112 --> 02:10:35,112
I'm ready.
3238
02:10:39,165 --> 02:10:40,165
♪ I never wanted you anyway ♪
3239
02:10:52,771 --> 02:10:53,771
Please, Steph.
3240
02:10:56,352 --> 02:10:57,352
Just do it.
3241
02:10:59,243 --> 02:11:00,243
Please.
3242
02:11:02,317 --> 02:11:03,317
(gun fires)
3243
02:11:03,245 --> 02:11:04,245
(Max beat boxing)
3244
02:11:07,869 --> 02:11:08,869
(audience laughing)
3245
02:11:14,719 --> 02:11:15,719
(Max hollering)
3246
02:11:17,493 --> 02:11:18,493
- Whoa!
3247
02:11:20,418 --> 02:11:21,418
Careful with that thing, Steph!
3248
02:11:22,128 --> 02:11:23,128
(bullet clinks)
3249
02:11:23,246 --> 02:11:24,246
You might hurt someone,
and that's my fuckin' job!
3250
02:11:27,936 --> 02:11:28,936
- Stay away from her!
3251
02:11:30,101 --> 02:11:31,101
- Hey, I just took a bullet for you, bro!
3252
02:11:32,851 --> 02:11:33,851
(audience laughing)
3253
02:11:33,684 --> 02:11:34,684
Gimme a break!
3254
02:11:34,911 --> 02:11:35,911
(Max grunts)
(Pete screams)
3255
02:11:35,744 --> 02:11:36,744
- [Steph] Pete!
3256
02:11:38,417 --> 02:11:39,417
- I wanna thank you, Steph.
3257
02:11:41,262 --> 02:11:42,262
I used to worry my life would
be over after high school.
3258
02:11:44,736 --> 02:11:45,736
Now I see, the afterlife's not so bad.
3259
02:11:47,379 --> 02:11:48,379
It's just poundin' nerds!
3260
02:11:49,984 --> 02:11:50,984
Once I'm done with you butt-nuggets,
3261
02:11:52,353 --> 02:11:53,353
I'll take care of the
losers over at Sycamore.
3262
02:11:55,418 --> 02:11:56,418
Then the whole damn town of Clivesdale!
3263
02:11:58,804 --> 02:11:59,804
All the nerdy prudes must pay!
3264
02:12:02,883 --> 02:12:03,883
But I'm gonna start with you, Steph.
3265
02:12:07,465 --> 02:12:08,465
You lured me to that house.
3266
02:12:10,539 --> 02:12:11,539
You betrayed me!
3267
02:12:12,550 --> 02:12:13,550
You fuckin' Judas!
3268
02:12:15,172 --> 02:12:16,172
- So you do know the Bible!
3269
02:12:17,210 --> 02:12:18,210
(audience laughing and clapping)
3270
02:12:24,983 --> 02:12:25,983
- Grace?
3271
02:12:26,213 --> 02:12:27,213
- Grace, get outta here!
3272
02:12:27,904 --> 02:12:28,904
- I always something about
your wrath that was so
3273
02:12:31,405 --> 02:12:32,405
Old Testament!
3274
02:12:32,993 --> 02:12:33,993
(audience yells)
3275
02:12:35,079 --> 02:12:36,079
- Huh?
3276
02:12:36,870 --> 02:12:37,870
- I used to have a crush on another guy
3277
02:12:38,442 --> 02:12:39,442
who rose from the grave.
3278
02:12:40,673 --> 02:12:41,673
But Jesus never threw a
football like you, Max.
3279
02:12:43,910 --> 02:12:44,910
(audience laughing)
3280
02:12:45,461 --> 02:12:46,461
- Grace, what are you doing?
3281
02:12:46,713 --> 02:12:47,713
- Shut your fuckin'
fart-hole, Spankoffski!
3282
02:12:50,793 --> 02:12:51,793
I wanna hear this.
3283
02:12:54,129 --> 02:12:55,129
As you were saying, Grace?
3284
02:12:55,478 --> 02:12:56,478
(audience laughing)
3285
02:12:57,633 --> 02:12:58,633
- You were right about me, Max.
3286
02:12:59,821 --> 02:13:00,821
I tried to hide it, pray it
away, but you were right.
3287
02:13:04,676 --> 02:13:05,676
I'm a dirty girl.
3288
02:13:08,801 --> 02:13:09,801
- Fuck yeah!
3289
02:13:10,609 --> 02:13:11,609
(audience laughing)
3290
02:13:11,822 --> 02:13:12,822
- And I've been in my bathtub every night,
3291
02:13:14,467 --> 02:13:15,467
brewing up a big, old pot of
dirty-girl soup just for you.
3292
02:13:19,879 --> 02:13:20,879
- What?
3293
02:13:20,995 --> 02:13:21,995
(audience laughing)
3294
02:13:22,449 --> 02:13:23,449
Uh, it's what you call my
bathwater in my sexual fantasies.
3295
02:13:27,201 --> 02:13:28,201
(Max gasps)
3296
02:13:28,571 --> 02:13:29,571
- That's nasty!
3297
02:13:31,951 --> 02:13:32,951
I like it!
3298
02:13:32,937 --> 02:13:33,937
(audience laughing)
3299
02:13:33,936 --> 02:13:34,936
- Oh yeah? You dirty dude!
3300
02:13:37,892 --> 02:13:38,892
- What the fuck is happening right now?
3301
02:13:42,418 --> 02:13:43,418
- Take me, Max, right
here on the 50 yard line!
3302
02:13:49,261 --> 02:13:50,261
- But, Grace, I gotta kill these nerds.
3303
02:13:53,470 --> 02:13:54,470
- Are you really gonna pass this up?
3304
02:13:55,833 --> 02:13:56,833
Are you gonna come under
the bleachers with me,
3305
02:13:57,511 --> 02:13:58,511
or am I gonna need to
find another stud to use?
3306
02:14:01,898 --> 02:14:02,898
(Max stammers and growls)
3307
02:14:10,048 --> 02:14:11,048
- I'll be right back!
3308
02:14:11,296 --> 02:14:12,296
(audience laughing)
3309
02:14:16,655 --> 02:14:17,655
(Max and Grace shouting)
3310
02:14:21,840 --> 02:14:22,840
- What're we watching?
3311
02:14:23,337 --> 02:14:24,337
(audience laughing)
3312
02:14:24,351 --> 02:14:25,351
- Are they...
3313
02:14:26,630 --> 02:14:27,630
Holy cow, they're doing it!
3314
02:14:30,775 --> 02:14:31,775
Grace is having sex with a fucking ghost!
3315
02:14:34,303 --> 02:14:35,303
(overlapping shouting and groaning)
3316
02:14:41,208 --> 02:14:42,208
- [Max] I am Jagerman!
3317
02:14:43,770 --> 02:14:44,770
I am god!
3318
02:14:45,802 --> 02:14:46,802
(thunder booms)
3319
02:14:48,210 --> 02:14:49,210
(Max and Grace groaning)
3320
02:14:55,626 --> 02:14:56,626
(audience cheering)
3321
02:15:00,394 --> 02:15:01,394
- Wow. I needed that.
3322
02:15:03,180 --> 02:15:04,180
(audience laughing)
3323
02:15:05,685 --> 02:15:06,685
- Hey, uh, Grace, where are you going?
3324
02:15:09,847 --> 02:15:10,847
Don't you wanna cuddle a little bit?
3325
02:15:12,780 --> 02:15:13,780
- Max, I just gave you a gift.
3326
02:15:15,313 --> 02:15:16,313
A very special gift.
3327
02:15:17,782 --> 02:15:18,782
In fact, I just gave
you what I cherish most.
3328
02:15:21,516 --> 02:15:22,516
My chastity.
3329
02:15:22,947 --> 02:15:23,947
(thunder cracks)
(Lords in Black cackling)
3330
02:15:26,700 --> 02:15:27,700
You know what that means, right?
3331
02:15:28,154 --> 02:15:29,154
It means you're going to hell now.
3332
02:15:32,142 --> 02:15:33,142
- What?
3333
02:15:33,633 --> 02:15:34,633
- I paid the price. Now fuck off!
3334
02:15:37,268 --> 02:15:38,268
(Lords in Black cackling)
3335
02:15:38,833 --> 02:15:39,833
(Max screaming)
3336
02:15:41,793 --> 02:15:42,793
- No! Let go of me!
3337
02:15:43,031 --> 02:15:44,031
What's happening??
3338
02:15:43,864 --> 02:15:44,864
(thunder cracks)
3339
02:15:44,983 --> 02:15:45,983
What's happening?
3340
02:15:46,423 --> 02:15:47,423
- [Lord In Black] Hello, Maxie.
3341
02:15:51,218 --> 02:15:52,218
- What are you?
3342
02:15:53,762 --> 02:15:54,762
- [Lord In Black] Oh, what wonders
3343
02:15:55,284 --> 02:15:56,284
await you down here in the black.
3344
02:15:58,952 --> 02:15:59,952
You're in my world now, bitch.
3345
02:16:02,328 --> 02:16:03,328
No!
3346
02:16:03,495 --> 02:16:04,495
No, no, no, no!
(Lords in Black cackling)
3347
02:16:05,767 --> 02:16:06,767
No, no, no, no!
3348
02:16:09,412 --> 02:16:10,412
Whatever!
3349
02:16:10,561 --> 02:16:11,561
It was fucking worth it!
3350
02:16:13,580 --> 02:16:14,580
(Max growling)
3351
02:16:16,982 --> 02:16:17,982
Go Nighthawks!
3352
02:16:21,158 --> 02:16:22,158
(thunder cracks)
3353
02:16:23,469 --> 02:16:24,469
(audience cheering)
3354
02:16:38,766 --> 02:16:39,766
- Hello, everyone!
3355
02:16:42,092 --> 02:16:43,092
Eyes on me.
3356
02:16:44,954 --> 02:16:45,954
Brooke, up here!
3357
02:16:48,030 --> 02:16:49,030
Students of Hatchetfield High,
3358
02:16:53,460 --> 02:16:54,460
it's been a rough couple
of weeks, hasn't it?
3359
02:16:56,953 --> 02:16:57,953
You've lost more than your fair share.
3360
02:17:00,121 --> 02:17:01,121
Your classmates. Your mayor.
3361
02:17:03,390 --> 02:17:04,390
The big game.
3362
02:17:04,755 --> 02:17:05,755
(audience laughing)
3363
02:17:05,590 --> 02:17:06,590
Don't worry. We'll get 'em next year.
3364
02:17:08,824 --> 02:17:09,824
But the point is, you
got through it, together.
3365
02:17:15,215 --> 02:17:16,215
Tonight is your Homecoming.
3366
02:17:18,677 --> 02:17:19,677
Enjoy it, Nighthawks.
3367
02:17:21,664 --> 02:17:22,664
Caw caw!
3368
02:17:25,716 --> 02:17:26,716
(audience cheering)
3369
02:17:28,714 --> 02:17:29,714
- All right, come on in.
3370
02:17:30,272 --> 02:17:31,272
Let's go. Let's go!
3371
02:17:31,504 --> 02:17:32,504
Okay! All right.
3372
02:17:33,706 --> 02:17:34,706
Geez.
3373
02:17:35,478 --> 02:17:36,478
Hey! Empty your pockets!
3374
02:17:38,434 --> 02:17:39,434
- Whoa, whoa! What's this?
3375
02:17:41,776 --> 02:17:42,776
- I dunno.
3376
02:17:42,609 --> 02:17:43,609
I should give you an M.I.P.
3377
02:17:44,053 --> 02:17:45,053
Get in there!
3378
02:17:44,886 --> 02:17:45,886
Don't let me see you
the rest of the night.
3379
02:17:50,122 --> 02:17:51,122
Well, well, Stephanie Lauter
and Peter Spankoffski.
3380
02:17:53,596 --> 02:17:54,596
You think you two can stay
outta trouble for one night?
3381
02:17:55,300 --> 02:17:56,300
- I'm not making any promises.
3382
02:17:57,225 --> 02:17:58,225
- What the fuck you just say to me?
3383
02:17:58,269 --> 02:17:59,269
- Yes!
3384
02:17:59,102 --> 02:18:00,102
(audience laughing)
3385
02:17:59,935 --> 02:18:00,935
Yes, ma'am. Yeah.
3386
02:18:00,768 --> 02:18:01,768
- Get in there.
3387
02:18:04,474 --> 02:18:05,474
- So you really think those kids
3388
02:18:05,899 --> 02:18:06,899
had nothing to do with the murders?
3389
02:18:07,673 --> 02:18:08,673
- Don't know. Don't care.
3390
02:18:10,172 --> 02:18:11,172
- And you're just gonna
let Grace Chasity walk?
3391
02:18:12,915 --> 02:18:13,915
- I am gonna get some fucking coffee.
3392
02:18:15,507 --> 02:18:16,507
- Come on, Shapiro,
hot-shit, city detective.
3393
02:18:19,192 --> 02:18:20,192
Hey! How do you explain the
mayor's disappearance, huh?
3394
02:18:23,408 --> 02:18:24,408
- It's Hatchetfield.
People go missing everyday.
3395
02:18:29,707 --> 02:18:30,707
- Wow. Homecoming.
3396
02:18:32,813 --> 02:18:33,813
You know, for a minute there,
3397
02:18:33,823 --> 02:18:34,823
I didn't think we'd see it.
3398
02:18:35,550 --> 02:18:36,550
- Well, I had a change of heart
3399
02:18:36,586 --> 02:18:37,586
and decided not to get the dance canceled.
3400
02:18:39,313 --> 02:18:40,313
- Thanks, Grace.
3401
02:18:40,887 --> 02:18:41,887
- Well, gotta go. My date's waiting.
3402
02:18:42,869 --> 02:18:43,869
Did you guys know Jason goes to my church?
3403
02:18:45,303 --> 02:18:46,303
Only for Christmas and Easter,
but we're working on it!
3404
02:18:48,335 --> 02:18:49,335
(audience laughing)
3405
02:18:49,625 --> 02:18:50,625
Jason!
3406
02:18:51,620 --> 02:18:52,620
- Well, shall we?
3407
02:18:53,147 --> 02:18:54,147
- Uh, you should know
I'm a terrible dancer.
3408
02:18:55,747 --> 02:18:56,747
- Oh, just let me take the lead.
3409
02:18:57,554 --> 02:18:58,554
I took four years of tap.
3410
02:18:59,201 --> 02:19:00,201
Mom said it'll help me make friends.
3411
02:19:01,319 --> 02:19:02,319
Boy, was she wrong.
3412
02:19:02,323 --> 02:19:03,323
(audience laughing)
3413
02:19:03,156 --> 02:19:04,156
- You're such a nerd.
3414
02:19:06,002 --> 02:19:07,002
But the bow tie's growing on me.
3415
02:19:08,833 --> 02:19:09,833
(energetic music)
3416
02:19:10,403 --> 02:19:11,403
♪ I never wanted to love you ♪
3417
02:19:12,557 --> 02:19:13,557
♪ Like I do ♪
3418
02:19:15,459 --> 02:19:16,459
♪ I never wanted to hold you ♪
3419
02:19:17,694 --> 02:19:18,694
♪ Like I do ♪
3420
02:19:19,360 --> 02:19:20,360
♪ I wanted I needed ♪
3421
02:19:21,599 --> 02:19:22,599
♪ The kind of love from someone else ♪
3422
02:19:24,389 --> 02:19:25,389
♪ We hurted we bonded ♪
3423
02:19:26,715 --> 02:19:27,715
♪ Like glue pulled off the shelf ♪
3424
02:19:28,143 --> 02:19:29,143
♪ Oh then the night falls on the town ♪
3425
02:19:33,187 --> 02:19:34,187
♪ Oh just as we start lying down ♪
3426
02:19:39,567 --> 02:19:40,567
♪ I'm the best of you ♪
3427
02:19:41,813 --> 02:19:42,813
♪ And you're the best of me ♪
3428
02:19:44,420 --> 02:19:45,420
♪ And together we are free to run around ♪
3429
02:19:49,557 --> 02:19:50,557
♪ 'Cause I believe in you ♪
3430
02:19:51,998 --> 02:19:52,998
♪ And you believe in me ♪
3431
02:19:54,660 --> 02:19:55,660
♪ And together we are never gonna fall ♪
3432
02:19:59,440 --> 02:20:00,440
♪ Tonight ♪
3433
02:20:02,616 --> 02:20:03,616
♪ I am the best of I am the best of you ♪
3434
02:20:07,744 --> 02:20:08,744
♪ You are the best of
you are the best of ♪
3435
02:20:10,304 --> 02:20:11,304
♪ It's like you knew
me before you knew me ♪
3436
02:20:12,966 --> 02:20:13,966
♪ It's like you saw me before you saw me ♪
3437
02:20:15,639 --> 02:20:16,639
♪ It's like you threw me
it's like you fooled me ♪
3438
02:20:18,278 --> 02:20:19,278
♪ It's like you test
me but not to best me ♪
3439
02:20:20,640 --> 02:20:21,640
♪ I needed I wanted ♪
3440
02:20:23,023 --> 02:20:24,023
♪ The kind of love from someone else ♪
3441
02:20:25,995 --> 02:20:26,995
♪ We hurted we bonded ♪
3442
02:20:28,578 --> 02:20:29,578
♪ Absconded beloved ♪
3443
02:20:30,807 --> 02:20:31,807
♪ Lights up on the town ♪
3444
02:20:34,637 --> 02:20:35,637
♪ Oh just as we start lying down ♪
3445
02:20:39,104 --> 02:20:40,104
♪ Forever ♪
3446
02:20:40,965 --> 02:20:41,965
♪ I'm the best of you and
you're the best of me ♪
3447
02:20:45,802 --> 02:20:46,802
♪ And together we are free to run around ♪
3448
02:20:49,320 --> 02:20:50,320
♪ We're gonna run around tonight ♪
3449
02:20:51,339 --> 02:20:52,339
♪ 'Cause I believe in you
and you believe in me ♪
3450
02:20:56,309 --> 02:20:57,309
♪ And together we are never gonna fall ♪
3451
02:21:00,945 --> 02:21:01,945
♪ Tonight ♪
3452
02:21:03,079 --> 02:21:04,079
♪ I never wanted to love you ♪
3453
02:21:05,478 --> 02:21:06,478
♪ Like I do ♪
3454
02:21:08,279 --> 02:21:09,279
♪ I never wanted to hold you ♪
3455
02:21:10,525 --> 02:21:11,525
♪ Like I do ♪
3456
02:21:13,357 --> 02:21:14,357
♪ I never wanted to love you ♪
3457
02:21:15,662 --> 02:21:16,662
♪ Like I do ♪
3458
02:21:18,435 --> 02:21:19,435
♪ I never wanted to hold you ♪
3459
02:21:20,767 --> 02:21:21,767
♪ Like I do ♪
3460
02:21:27,081 --> 02:21:28,081
(audience cheering and applauding)
3461
02:21:38,591 --> 02:21:39,591
(soft music)
3462
02:21:40,696 --> 02:21:41,696
- I had a really nice time tonight, Grace.
3463
02:21:42,827 --> 02:21:43,827
- Me too, Jason.
3464
02:21:44,647 --> 02:21:45,647
- I can't believe we ever
used called you a two-bagger.
3465
02:21:48,383 --> 02:21:49,383
I think the reason I
always used to put you down
3466
02:21:50,964 --> 02:21:51,964
was because I always
thought you were pretty.
3467
02:21:55,167 --> 02:21:56,167
- Well, you can make it
up to me if you like.
3468
02:21:57,626 --> 02:21:58,626
- How?
3469
02:21:59,085 --> 02:22:00,085
- Kiss me?
3470
02:22:00,397 --> 02:22:01,397
- Oh!
3471
02:22:01,327 --> 02:22:02,327
Okay!
3472
02:22:05,425 --> 02:22:06,425
(audience laughing)
3473
02:22:07,936 --> 02:22:08,936
- That was absolutely disgusting!
3474
02:22:12,319 --> 02:22:13,319
- What?
3475
02:22:13,152 --> 02:22:14,152
- Really, Jason? Kissing
on the first date?
3476
02:22:16,820 --> 02:22:17,820
You think we're grown up enough for that?
3477
02:22:18,252 --> 02:22:19,252
- Grace, we're 18.
3478
02:22:20,363 --> 02:22:21,363
- Exactly! We're only 18.
3479
02:22:23,811 --> 02:22:24,811
You're a dirty dude, aren't you, Jason?
3480
02:22:27,064 --> 02:22:28,064
Well, someone needs to rid this town
3481
02:22:28,658 --> 02:22:29,658
of horny pervs like you!
3482
02:22:32,896 --> 02:22:33,896
- Grace, what are you doing?
3483
02:22:35,293 --> 02:22:36,293
- Invoking the names. (cackles)
3484
02:22:37,403 --> 02:22:38,403
(intense music)
3485
02:22:39,477 --> 02:22:40,477
You see, this spell lets
me devour your soul.
3486
02:22:43,516 --> 02:22:44,516
The souls of the pervs make me strong!
3487
02:22:46,778 --> 02:22:47,778
(Grace cackles)
3488
02:22:48,920 --> 02:22:49,920
- Grace, you're freaking me out!
3489
02:22:56,014 --> 02:22:57,014
♪ You think I'd stop with him ♪
3490
02:22:58,574 --> 02:22:59,574
Who?
3491
02:22:59,407 --> 02:23:00,407
♪ You think the time that I was chaste ♪
3492
02:23:02,562 --> 02:23:03,562
♪ Was being waste on a holy mission? ♪
3493
02:23:05,639 --> 02:23:06,639
Grace, what are you talking about?
3494
02:23:08,923 --> 02:23:09,923
♪ I'm the girl you thought you knew ♪
3495
02:23:12,479 --> 02:23:13,479
♪ Just keep your hand there on my thigh ♪
3496
02:23:15,784 --> 02:23:16,784
♪ Like all the guys who came before you ♪
3497
02:23:20,687 --> 02:23:21,687
♪ Are you hard because you're stressed ♪
3498
02:23:24,062 --> 02:23:25,062
What?
3499
02:23:26,017 --> 02:23:27,017
♪ Or is there some power I now possess ♪
3500
02:23:31,969 --> 02:23:32,969
♪ Dirty dudes must die ♪
3501
02:23:34,155 --> 02:23:35,155
♪ Dirty dudes must die ♪
3502
02:23:36,305 --> 02:23:37,305
♪ Everybody cool watch us
nerds destroy your kind ♪
3503
02:23:40,457 --> 02:23:41,457
♪ Chasity will rise ♪
3504
02:23:42,386 --> 02:23:43,386
♪ Your soul will be my prize ♪
3505
02:23:44,685 --> 02:23:45,685
♪ Everybody cool watch me
score rewrite the lore ♪
3506
02:23:49,604 --> 02:23:50,604
♪ Of the nerds you minimized ♪
3507
02:23:57,024 --> 02:23:58,024
I'm getting outta here!
3508
02:23:59,743 --> 02:24:00,743
- Run, you little bitch!
3509
02:24:03,572 --> 02:24:04,572
♪ Who will pray for you ♪
3510
02:24:06,144 --> 02:24:07,144
♪ When your body's gone ♪
3511
02:24:10,287 --> 02:24:11,287
♪ This is the consequence
for what you've done ♪
3512
02:24:16,474 --> 02:24:17,474
♪ The darkness will spare my soul ♪
3513
02:24:22,308 --> 02:24:23,308
- Run, dudes.
3514
02:24:23,887 --> 02:24:24,887
Run!
3515
02:24:24,929 --> 02:24:25,929
♪ High school is killing me ♪
3516
02:24:27,126 --> 02:24:28,126
♪ It's got me all out of
rhythm and my melody ♪
3517
02:24:30,019 --> 02:24:31,019
♪ My melody my melody ♪
3518
02:24:31,490 --> 02:24:32,490
♪ It's not cool it's a tragedy ♪
3519
02:24:33,767 --> 02:24:34,767
♪ I've been thrown to the
wolves of the community ♪
3520
02:24:36,445 --> 02:24:37,445
(students howling and growling)
3521
02:24:38,035 --> 02:24:39,035
♪ And I can survive it ♪
3522
02:24:40,967 --> 02:24:41,967
♪ For only so long ♪
♪ For only so long ♪
3523
02:24:44,259 --> 02:24:45,259
♪ And I'll still despise it ♪
3524
02:24:47,974 --> 02:24:48,974
♪ When I am gone ♪
♪ When I'm gone ♪
3525
02:24:51,025 --> 02:24:52,025
♪ High school is killing me ♪
3526
02:24:53,880 --> 02:24:54,880
♪ I'm so fucking dead ♪
3527
02:24:55,146 --> 02:24:56,146
♪ I've never known darker time ♪
3528
02:24:57,035 --> 02:24:58,035
♪ And I covered the protests live ♪
3529
02:24:58,818 --> 02:24:59,818
♪ At the Hatchetfield kennel ♪
3530
02:25:01,104 --> 02:25:02,104
♪ Ah ah ah ♪
3531
02:25:02,480 --> 02:25:03,480
♪ I am Dan Reynolds ♪
3532
02:25:03,891 --> 02:25:04,891
♪ With Action News
weekdays at 10:00 p.m. ♪
3533
02:25:06,118 --> 02:25:07,118
♪ I hate to relay the news ♪
3534
02:25:08,004 --> 02:25:09,004
♪ But the football team might be screwed ♪
3535
02:25:09,721 --> 02:25:10,721
♪ Stay inside watch your children ♪
3536
02:25:11,748 --> 02:25:12,748
♪ Ah ah ah ♪
3537
02:25:12,962 --> 02:25:13,962
♪ 'Cause a losing streak's comin' ♪
3538
02:25:14,297 --> 02:25:15,297
♪ A losin' streak's comin' ♪
3539
02:25:16,138 --> 02:25:17,138
♪ There's a man on the
loose and he's got a gun ♪
3540
02:25:18,487 --> 02:25:19,487
♪ Better put out the APB ♪
3541
02:25:21,582 --> 02:25:22,582
♪ The psycho's killed two ♪
3542
02:25:22,743 --> 02:25:23,743
♪ If he gets me next make it three ♪
3543
02:25:25,097 --> 02:25:26,097
♪ If he gets me next I could be three ♪
3544
02:25:27,207 --> 02:25:28,207
♪ We're chasing wild goose
and we don't know how ♪
3545
02:25:29,901 --> 02:25:30,901
♪ Watch the blame go around ♪
3546
02:25:32,281 --> 02:25:33,281
♪ Man down down down down ♪
3547
02:25:35,201 --> 02:25:36,201
♪ Who's swinging the hatchet
now in Hatchet Town ♪
3548
02:25:38,492 --> 02:25:39,492
♪ Someone's got their hands
on the hatchet handle ♪
3549
02:25:40,781 --> 02:25:41,781
♪ Swinging on the youth
it's a hatchet scandal ♪
3550
02:25:43,649 --> 02:25:44,649
♪ Careful or your folks will
end up a cannibal's plate ♪
3551
02:25:47,445 --> 02:25:48,445
♪ It ain't great ♪
3552
02:25:49,246 --> 02:25:50,246
♪ You're better on the run
from this bloody letting ♪
3553
02:25:52,129 --> 02:25:53,129
♪ Suddenly this show is real upsetting ♪
3554
02:25:54,930 --> 02:25:55,930
♪ It's looking like the
Hatchet sun is setting on us ♪
3555
02:25:58,658 --> 02:25:59,658
♪ Who can we trust ♪
3556
02:26:00,537 --> 02:26:01,537
♪ Who's swinging the hatchet now ♪
3557
02:26:03,248 --> 02:26:04,248
♪ Can I shit or will I drown ♪
3558
02:26:06,083 --> 02:26:07,083
♪ Man down down down down ♪
3559
02:26:08,771 --> 02:26:09,771
♪ Who stepped on our hallowed ground ♪
3560
02:26:12,850 --> 02:26:13,850
♪ In Hatchet Town ♪
3561
02:26:16,663 --> 02:26:17,663
(thunder rumbling)249104
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