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1
00:00:04,480 --> 00:00:06,000
Hello, Mr Muckle.
2
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:07,840
Have you lost something?
3
00:00:07,840 --> 00:00:12,080
Ah, Miss Hawthorn. I was just
looking for my daughter, Milly.
4
00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:14,320
But she's not
in the milking parlour.
5
00:00:14,320 --> 00:00:17,240
I thought I saw her
by the old Dutch barn,
6
00:00:17,240 --> 00:00:20,480
but I may be mistaken.
The old barn?
7
00:00:20,480 --> 00:00:22,880
What on earth
would she be doing there?
8
00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:29,560
LIPS SMACK
9
00:00:29,560 --> 00:00:31,440
Oh, Jethro!
10
00:00:31,440 --> 00:00:35,440
MORE LIP SMACKING
11
00:00:35,440 --> 00:00:38,160
Oh, Milly!
12
00:00:38,160 --> 00:00:39,960
What am I going to tell Father?
13
00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:44,040
Tell him that we're in love,
and there's nothing 'e can do.
14
00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:46,760
The crabby old mucudgeon...
er, curmudgeon.
15
00:00:48,320 --> 00:00:49,800
METAL SQUEAKS
16
00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:54,760
LOUD FOOTSTEPS
17
00:00:54,760 --> 00:00:59,280
Milly! I thought you'd put an end
to this wretched tryst.
18
00:00:59,280 --> 00:01:01,800
It's not a tryst, Daddy.
19
00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:04,800
We're getting married.
20
00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:06,160
MUSIC BEGINS
21
00:01:06,160 --> 00:01:08,760
You have been listening
to The Muckles,
22
00:01:08,760 --> 00:01:11,560
an everyday story of farming folk.
23
00:01:11,560 --> 00:01:15,480
The radio newsreel follows shortly.
24
00:01:17,920 --> 00:01:21,200
Here he is! How was it for you,
Kenny? Another winner?
25
00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:25,040
Well, it should work.
Once we put a symphony under it.
26
00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:28,360
As you know, recently, the press
have been less than kind to us,
27
00:01:28,360 --> 00:01:31,560
saying it's high time
the show was humanely slaughtered.
28
00:01:31,560 --> 00:01:33,560
I try not to read those reviews.
29
00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:36,160
Unfortunately, I have to.
30
00:01:36,160 --> 00:01:40,040
But I've found a way to make
the show a bit more authentic.
31
00:01:40,040 --> 00:01:42,320
We're going to spend a week
in the country,
32
00:01:42,320 --> 00:01:44,840
see the landscape that inspired
The Muckles.
33
00:01:44,840 --> 00:01:47,560
Mix and mingle
with actual local yokels.
34
00:01:47,560 --> 00:01:50,520
Sorry, you want us to actually
go there? Yes, darling.
35
00:01:50,520 --> 00:01:53,000
As opposed to closing our eyes
and imagining it.
36
00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:55,000
That does sound rather jolly.
37
00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:58,680
We'll see all the sights,
then come back suitably refreshed
38
00:01:58,680 --> 00:02:00,640
and get to work.
39
00:02:00,640 --> 00:02:05,880
Oh, no. We'll be broadcasting
all our shows there.
40
00:02:05,880 --> 00:02:08,200
Live. What?
41
00:02:37,960 --> 00:02:41,400
I can't believe the Muckles
are actually coming to our village.
42
00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:46,080
And they will be recording
in our church.
43
00:02:46,080 --> 00:02:48,600
I believe the producer
was born here.
44
00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:51,200
It's like meeting long-lost family.
45
00:02:51,200 --> 00:02:54,320
I've been following
their adventures for years.
46
00:02:54,320 --> 00:02:58,200
Yes, Mrs Devine. But remember -
they do not know YOU.
47
00:02:58,200 --> 00:03:00,200
Of course.
48
00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:03,800
I'll endeavour to be nonchalant...
They're here!
49
00:03:15,240 --> 00:03:17,440
Hello, everybody!
50
00:03:17,440 --> 00:03:18,800
VARIOUS GREETINGS
51
00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:20,320
And do you all love The Muckles?
52
00:03:20,320 --> 00:03:21,560
CHEERING
53
00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:24,040
And who's your favourite character?
54
00:03:24,040 --> 00:03:25,320
You are!
55
00:03:25,320 --> 00:03:28,120
That is the correct answer!
56
00:03:28,120 --> 00:03:29,520
LAUGHTER
57
00:03:30,840 --> 00:03:32,880
Hello, there!
58
00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:34,920
You must be Mr Muckle!
59
00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:38,000
Well, yes, I suppose I am.
60
00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:39,520
I'm a big fan.
61
00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:43,480
I cried my eyes out when your dog
fell in the threshing machine.
62
00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:45,640
That's very kind. Thank you.
63
00:03:45,640 --> 00:03:47,240
I'm sorry, excuse me...
64
00:03:49,360 --> 00:03:51,760
Hello, there. Hello.
65
00:03:51,760 --> 00:03:55,480
You must excuse him. He's been
reading the script on the bus,
66
00:03:55,480 --> 00:03:58,560
and he does get a bit emotional.
Of course.
67
00:03:58,560 --> 00:04:00,040
I'm Mrs Isabel Devine.
68
00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:03,000
If there's anything you need,
or anything I can do...
69
00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:06,280
So you actually live here?
That's right.
70
00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:10,560
All the time? I wouldn't live
anywhere else for the world!
71
00:04:10,560 --> 00:04:12,120
Oh, sorry!
72
00:04:12,120 --> 00:04:15,640
You see, I know a lot of people
come to the country at the weekend,
73
00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:19,960
but you forget that there are people
who live here all the time.
74
00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:21,760
It's lovely to meet you.
75
00:04:26,120 --> 00:04:28,480
Hello! I'm Kenneth Clay.
76
00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:31,120
Writer and producer of The Muckles.
77
00:04:31,120 --> 00:04:34,680
Father Brown. I guessed as much!
I knew your predecessor.
78
00:04:34,680 --> 00:04:38,360
Father Smythe. I heard you were
a native of Kembleford.
79
00:04:38,360 --> 00:04:42,400
Many moons ago. Ah, the church.
80
00:04:42,400 --> 00:04:45,600
That will look magnificent
in our publicity photographs.
81
00:04:46,680 --> 00:04:48,200
Bells!
82
00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:50,320
Yes, we have eight.
83
00:04:50,320 --> 00:04:54,560
No. They're not going to ring,
are they, when we're broadcasting?
84
00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:56,760
Our studio is rather ramshackle.
85
00:04:56,760 --> 00:04:59,720
Well, they will ring tomorrow
for Sunday mass,
86
00:04:59,720 --> 00:05:03,320
and then I assure you they will
be silent for the rest of the week.
87
00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:05,760
Oh, marvellous. Panic over.
88
00:05:05,760 --> 00:05:08,480
Kenneth? Yes?
89
00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:13,200
It's lovely being here and talking
to these country bumpkins,
90
00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:15,240
but where is our hotel?
91
00:05:15,240 --> 00:05:17,800
Ah. See that farmhouse over there?
92
00:05:27,800 --> 00:05:32,760
Well, this is very rustic.
However did you find it?
93
00:05:32,760 --> 00:05:34,560
Um, I was born here.
94
00:05:34,560 --> 00:05:38,320
Really? Yes. I can still see Father
coming through this door,
95
00:05:38,320 --> 00:05:40,960
Mother telling him
to take his muddy boots off.
96
00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:45,320
Kenneth, this is all fascinating,
but is there a telephone?
97
00:05:45,320 --> 00:05:48,360
I think I might need
to make a phone call.
98
00:05:48,360 --> 00:05:51,560
Down this corridor, in the hallway.
99
00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:53,040
Thank you.
100
00:05:56,920 --> 00:06:01,840
And what I want to know is,
which is the biggest bedroom?
101
00:06:01,840 --> 00:06:05,400
Up the stairs.
First door on the left. Lovely.
102
00:06:05,400 --> 00:06:06,720
Typical.
103
00:06:06,720 --> 00:06:08,520
Hello again!
104
00:06:08,520 --> 00:06:10,720
Hello.
I forgot to give you these.
105
00:06:10,720 --> 00:06:13,040
Sausage rolls and a Victoria sponge.
106
00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:16,120
Oh! Oh, I never say no
to a nice sausage roll.
107
00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:19,480
Our producer was just saying
this was his family home.
108
00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:21,200
I still own it.
109
00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:22,720
I think it's remarkable.
110
00:06:22,720 --> 00:06:26,000
You always said Mr Muckle
was based on your father,
111
00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:29,320
but I had no idea
he was a real farmer.
112
00:06:29,320 --> 00:06:33,320
Farming was his livelihood,
but he had another passion.
113
00:06:33,320 --> 00:06:34,840
I'll show you.
114
00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:45,080
Oh!
115
00:06:46,400 --> 00:06:48,520
It's a type 45 radio!
116
00:06:48,520 --> 00:06:52,160
Oh. Are you interested
in broadcasting equipment?
117
00:06:52,160 --> 00:06:56,560
I'm afraid, Mr Clay, I am
interested in almost everything.
118
00:06:56,560 --> 00:06:59,960
So, was your father a radio ham?
119
00:06:59,960 --> 00:07:03,040
My father was no ham.
Ham can be cured!
120
00:07:03,040 --> 00:07:04,520
LAUGHTER
121
00:07:04,520 --> 00:07:08,080
He used this kit to broadcast
to fellow enthusiasts,
122
00:07:08,080 --> 00:07:12,200
giving out useful information
in the dark days of the last war.
123
00:07:12,200 --> 00:07:15,280
And you followed his footsteps
into the world of radio.
124
00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:16,760
I did.
125
00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:21,840
And now, whenever we give out
farming advice on The Muckles, well,
126
00:07:21,840 --> 00:07:24,240
I only hope I'm worthy of him.
127
00:07:27,360 --> 00:07:29,440
The Muckles? That's right.
128
00:07:29,440 --> 00:07:32,880
Are you a fan? Ooh, as soon
as I hear that theme tune,
129
00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:35,760
I run towards the radio...
to turn it off.
130
00:07:35,760 --> 00:07:37,800
Brenda, that's not fair.
131
00:07:37,800 --> 00:07:40,920
Once you've been listening
for years, they become family.
132
00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:44,000
All the more precious
when your own family aren't around.
133
00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:47,000
Although you did say
it's not quite as good as it was?
134
00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:49,760
I suppose. Although
I am looking forward
135
00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:52,400
to Milly and Jethro's
wedding episode.
136
00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:56,080
Speaking of which...
137
00:07:57,800 --> 00:08:02,320
Oh, my word! It's wonderful.
138
00:08:02,320 --> 00:08:05,640
I only hope my wedding
can be half as glamorous.
139
00:08:05,640 --> 00:08:09,720
What do they want all this
stuff for? It's on the radio.
140
00:08:09,720 --> 00:08:11,880
Publicity photographs.
141
00:08:11,880 --> 00:08:14,240
Oh. It's for the Radio Times.
142
00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:16,360
We are behind the scenes!
143
00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:18,560
So... is it a good fit?
144
00:08:18,560 --> 00:08:22,200
It's fine.
So long as I don't breathe.
145
00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:24,520
Mr Clay! Oh, Father Brown!
146
00:08:24,520 --> 00:08:28,120
We're just making a few
last-minute adjustments.
147
00:08:28,120 --> 00:08:31,680
HE HUMS
148
00:08:31,680 --> 00:08:34,240
Charlie, could you please
put on the top hat?
149
00:08:34,240 --> 00:08:38,520
I don't think so.
It's a small magazine
150
00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:42,400
and if I'm going to fit all of my
face on that cover, then...
151
00:08:42,400 --> 00:08:44,400
Just do it to humour me?
152
00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:46,880
Yes, Mein Fuhrer!
153
00:08:46,880 --> 00:08:48,600
HE STAMPS HIS FOOT FORMALLY
154
00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:54,600
I must say, the acoustics
in this place are marvellous.
155
00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:57,120
Will work wonderfully
for the actual episode.
156
00:08:57,120 --> 00:09:00,840
Yes, Annabel.
You could whistle a happy tune here.
157
00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:03,240
CHARLIE WHISTLES
158
00:09:05,720 --> 00:09:08,760
Oh, Miss Warmley! You look...
159
00:09:08,760 --> 00:09:11,480
Ravishing!
160
00:09:11,480 --> 00:09:14,560
I mean, it's a beautiful dress.
161
00:09:14,560 --> 00:09:16,840
The photographer seems to agree.
162
00:09:16,840 --> 00:09:19,040
He's actually keen
to get me on the cover.
163
00:09:19,040 --> 00:09:21,000
Of course.
164
00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:23,480
Well, are you ready
for your close-up?
165
00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:24,960
Oh, thank you.
166
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:28,600
CAMERA CLICKS
167
00:09:35,240 --> 00:09:38,640
Hello, hello, hello, hello,
hello, hello.
168
00:09:38,640 --> 00:09:44,000
Hello, people! How'd you like a
slice of my luverly, luverly cakie?
169
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:47,040
My mamma mia, she used to make-a the
cake
170
00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:49,880
and eat-a the cake every single
day.
171
00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:52,760
But you know my mamma,
she did not live too long.
172
00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:54,240
Huh?
173
00:09:54,240 --> 00:09:57,880
Oh, lady!
Would you like to try-a the cake?
174
00:09:57,880 --> 00:09:59,800
No, thank you.
175
00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:01,640
Just a little slice of the cake.
176
00:10:01,640 --> 00:10:05,480
No. But your eyes!
Your eyes and the cake -
177
00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:06,880
they match!
178
00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:12,280
You stupid, selfish, little worm!
179
00:10:12,280 --> 00:10:14,440
Why do you always have to ruin
everything?
180
00:10:14,440 --> 00:10:17,560
Why don't you just drop down dead?
181
00:10:20,480 --> 00:10:22,080
Elizabeth.
182
00:10:26,160 --> 00:10:27,240
Idiot.
183
00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:41,280
So, Mr Muckle.
184
00:10:44,720 --> 00:10:46,880
This wedding will be happening,
185
00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:49,840
whether ye likes it or not.
186
00:10:49,840 --> 00:10:51,880
HE LAUGHS LOUDLY
187
00:10:53,880 --> 00:10:56,520
Oh... Two minutes over.
188
00:10:56,520 --> 00:10:59,200
Which should be all right
with a few judicious cuts.
189
00:11:03,440 --> 00:11:06,320
However, we don't have anyone
to do sound effects.
190
00:11:06,320 --> 00:11:10,880
Why not? Myfanwy has been
in a minor car crash.
191
00:11:10,880 --> 00:11:13,520
This whole show is a car crash.
192
00:11:13,520 --> 00:11:15,120
Elizabeth, you've done it before.
193
00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:17,080
Could you operate,
just for this evening?
194
00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:18,760
Well, no.
195
00:11:18,760 --> 00:11:22,400
How can I? I have that big speech
on page seven.
196
00:11:22,400 --> 00:11:25,440
Although
we were looking at making some cuts,
197
00:11:25,440 --> 00:11:27,920
so if we were to get rid
of your speech...
198
00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:29,600
It's not ideal, I know.
199
00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:32,000
But we're running out of time,
and I keep wondering
200
00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:34,400
what calamity is going to
come through that door next.
201
00:11:37,560 --> 00:11:40,440
Hello! It's us! Hello.
202
00:11:40,440 --> 00:11:43,000
Father Brown, I'm so glad
you could make it.
203
00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:46,960
We're very keen to see
what goes into a live broadcast.
204
00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:49,400
Blood, sweat and tears, mostly.
CHARLIE VOCALISES LOUDLY
205
00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:51,120
It's all happening here!
206
00:11:51,120 --> 00:11:52,840
Yes, indeed.
207
00:11:52,840 --> 00:11:56,840
Charlie, can you do your warm-up
in the green room, please?
208
00:11:56,840 --> 00:11:58,360
Jawohl!
209
00:11:58,360 --> 00:12:01,400
Goodness!
It does seem quite chaotic.
210
00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:05,400
Yes, we're just dealing
with a few pre-performance nerves
211
00:12:05,400 --> 00:12:10,000
but once that "on air"
sign comes on, all will be well.
212
00:12:14,160 --> 00:12:18,600
LOUD GRUNTING
213
00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:23,120
Oh, it's amazing!
214
00:12:23,120 --> 00:12:27,840
If you close your eyes,
you can actually see the axe.
215
00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:32,280
Please, Daddy,
Jethro would like a word with you.
216
00:12:32,280 --> 00:12:35,080
Really? Well, come on, then.
217
00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:36,760
What have you got to say
for yourself?
218
00:12:36,760 --> 00:12:39,320
CHARLIE CLEARS HIS THROAT
219
00:12:39,320 --> 00:12:40,680
Huh...
220
00:12:40,680 --> 00:12:42,320
Mr Muckle...!
221
00:12:42,320 --> 00:12:46,440
Play the music.
For God's sake, play the music!
222
00:12:49,160 --> 00:12:53,360
You have been listening
to The Muckles,
223
00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:56,800
an everyday story of farming folk.
Charlie! Charlie?
224
00:12:56,800 --> 00:13:00,000
The radio newsreel follows shortly.
Charlie?
225
00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:01,480
Charlie!
226
00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:09,400
It's too late.
227
00:13:14,040 --> 00:13:17,080
In nomine patris et filii
et spiritus sancti, amen.
228
00:13:25,640 --> 00:13:29,280
Are you all right?
Just a bit shaken.
229
00:13:30,520 --> 00:13:33,560
Father, I assume
you witnessed the proceedings?
230
00:13:33,560 --> 00:13:36,360
Yes, I did.
231
00:13:36,360 --> 00:13:41,680
Throughout the episode,
Mr Chumley seemed in discomfort.
232
00:13:41,680 --> 00:13:45,640
Then, at the end,
he suffered a paroxysm.
233
00:13:45,640 --> 00:13:48,840
Had he had anything to eat or drink
in the past hour?
234
00:13:48,840 --> 00:13:50,360
There was that throat spray.
235
00:13:50,360 --> 00:13:54,080
He was gulping that down
like he was dying of thirst.
236
00:13:55,120 --> 00:13:56,720
Who's in charge here?
237
00:13:58,160 --> 00:14:01,240
I am. Kenneth Clay.
238
00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:03,000
Although perhaps
not for much longer.
239
00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:05,960
20 million people just heard
a man die live on air.
240
00:14:05,960 --> 00:14:09,040
Don't know about that. We had
the wireless on at the station,
241
00:14:09,040 --> 00:14:11,120
and it sounded like Jethro
had been on the cider again.
242
00:14:11,120 --> 00:14:13,160
Thank goodness for that!
243
00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:15,920
Well, I need a drink, or you'll
have another body on the floor.
244
00:14:15,920 --> 00:14:17,760
I'll get you some water.
245
00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:20,920
No! No-one's to touch anything.
246
00:14:20,920 --> 00:14:22,920
I'll take your statements outside.
247
00:14:22,920 --> 00:14:25,160
It's going to be a long night.
248
00:14:32,360 --> 00:14:34,680
Hello, there! Something smells good.
249
00:14:34,680 --> 00:14:39,000
Oh! Mrs, um, Wotsit
left us some bits and pieces.
250
00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:43,320
And some eggs from the henhouse.
How lovely!
251
00:14:43,320 --> 00:14:47,320
This whole week could be rather
jolly if it wasn't for...
252
00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:50,040
...all the disasters.
I couldn't sleep a wink.
253
00:14:50,040 --> 00:14:53,960
I kept seeing him writhing
on the floor, reaching out for help.
254
00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:58,000
You do know that
if you get nervous in the night,
255
00:14:58,000 --> 00:15:00,680
you can always come into my room,
no, no...
256
00:15:00,680 --> 00:15:03,600
Sorry, sorry,
that sounded a bit, um...
257
00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:06,240
No, it's fine!
258
00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:11,200
Well, anyone who says
an actress' life is easy
259
00:15:11,200 --> 00:15:13,760
should spend a night
in this hell-hole.
260
00:15:13,760 --> 00:15:18,120
A mattress made of straw, and an
absolute maniac underneath me.
261
00:15:18,120 --> 00:15:20,440
Maniac? Kenneth.
262
00:15:20,440 --> 00:15:22,360
I'm just over his study.
263
00:15:22,360 --> 00:15:23,760
And he was up all night -
264
00:15:23,760 --> 00:15:27,600
bash, bash, bashing
on that machine of his!
265
00:15:27,600 --> 00:15:28,760
Listen!
266
00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:31,880
Come on!
267
00:15:34,720 --> 00:15:39,200
HIGH-PITCHED: "He's left me, Daddy!
"He's called off the wedding!"
268
00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:41,320
"Oh, darling,
is it too soon to say
269
00:15:41,320 --> 00:15:43,560
"good riddance to bad rubbish"?
270
00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:45,560
What are you listening to?
271
00:15:45,560 --> 00:15:50,360
Father Brown! We were
just listening to our producer.
272
00:15:50,360 --> 00:15:54,720
Yes, he records all his episodes
on tape and then he types them up.
273
00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:59,080
And as you can imagine, we're very
keen to know what happens next.
274
00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:02,760
Oh! Good morning!
275
00:16:02,760 --> 00:16:08,320
Now, I've spoken to the DG, the head
of department, and Charlie's mother,
276
00:16:08,320 --> 00:16:10,840
and everyone is very keen
that we continue.
277
00:16:10,840 --> 00:16:13,160
Now, we're keeping his death quiet
for now,
278
00:16:13,160 --> 00:16:15,360
but we'll make an announcement
on Friday.
279
00:16:15,360 --> 00:16:17,600
Ah, the wedding episode.
280
00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:21,360
I take it you'll not now
be requiring St Mary's?
281
00:16:21,360 --> 00:16:23,720
Actually, we will.
282
00:16:23,720 --> 00:16:26,240
Milly is going to be jilted
at the altar.
283
00:16:26,240 --> 00:16:28,760
Rejected by the only man
she ever loved.
284
00:16:28,760 --> 00:16:32,080
There won't be a dry eye
in the United Kingdom.
285
00:16:32,080 --> 00:16:33,320
Marvellous!
286
00:16:33,320 --> 00:16:35,240
And what about Mr Muckle?
287
00:16:35,240 --> 00:16:37,880
He's going to make peace
with his daughter,
288
00:16:37,880 --> 00:16:40,040
apologise for all the hurt
he's caused,
289
00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:41,880
and then he's going to try
and persuade her
290
00:16:41,880 --> 00:16:43,480
that there are brighter days ahead.
291
00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:47,560
Oh! Sounds good.
292
00:16:47,560 --> 00:16:52,720
Now, as it's a lovely day, I think
we should go and rehearse outside.
293
00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:56,440
Although I still need someone
to do sound effects.
294
00:17:00,680 --> 00:17:02,120
BOX CONTENTS CLATTER
295
00:17:02,120 --> 00:17:08,400
Cowbells, fog-horns and wind
noises! Why did he think of me?
296
00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:11,400
He saw how engrossed you were
yesterday evening,
297
00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:14,440
and Mr Clay is a very good
judge of character.
298
00:17:14,440 --> 00:17:16,240
Welcome.
299
00:17:16,240 --> 00:17:19,800
This is the barn where my father
would gather winter fodder,
300
00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:21,400
and come home covered in chaff.
301
00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:23,400
Right.
302
00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:25,400
Are you sitting comfortably?
303
00:17:25,400 --> 00:17:27,280
Well, then we'll begin.
304
00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:29,760
Now, let's make some Muckles magic!
305
00:17:29,760 --> 00:17:31,640
BELL JANGLES
306
00:17:31,640 --> 00:17:34,040
Oh, Miss Hawthorn, I must say,
307
00:17:34,040 --> 00:17:37,560
you've worked wonders
with my old Aberdeen longhorn.
308
00:17:37,560 --> 00:17:39,960
Whatever is your secret?
309
00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:43,480
It's very simple. Her udders
were looking a little sore,
310
00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:45,520
so I rubbed on my unguent.
311
00:17:45,520 --> 00:17:48,200
Spearmint flower and fresh camomile.
312
00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:52,720
Well, it's had the most remarkable
effect on her yield.
313
00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:54,920
Which just goes to show...
LIQUID POURS LOUDLY
314
00:17:54,920 --> 00:17:59,480
...when you treat animals with
respect, they repay you tenfold.
315
00:17:59,480 --> 00:18:03,640
Speaking of respect, you do need
to sort things with your daughter.
316
00:18:03,640 --> 00:18:07,280
Milly has made her own bed,
be it lumpy and uncomfortable.
317
00:18:07,280 --> 00:18:11,520
Mr Muckle,
Jethro may be coarse and uncouth,
318
00:18:11,520 --> 00:18:16,520
but he has a good heart.
And love is such a rare...
319
00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:19,320
"And precious thing in this world."
Carry on.
320
00:18:19,320 --> 00:18:21,400
Ladies and gentlemen,
sorry for interrupting,
321
00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:25,480
we need a word, Miss Hawthorn.
I mean...
322
00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:28,040
Elizabeth Warmley,
I'm arresting you
323
00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:30,680
on suspicion of the murder
of Charlie Chumley.
324
00:18:35,840 --> 00:18:38,000
Oh, Father, I can't bear it.
325
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:41,440
They've been interrogating me
for three hours.
326
00:18:41,440 --> 00:18:45,960
After a while, you want to confess
just to make it stop!
327
00:18:45,960 --> 00:18:48,280
Why did they arrest you?
328
00:18:48,280 --> 00:18:53,280
Apparently, someone put poison
in Charlie's throat spray.
329
00:18:53,280 --> 00:18:55,280
Strychnine.
330
00:18:55,280 --> 00:18:58,400
And they found traces of it
on my sound effects table.
331
00:18:58,400 --> 00:19:00,920
They've been going through
all my possessions -
332
00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:03,680
my luggage, my clothes!
333
00:19:03,680 --> 00:19:07,760
It didn't help that yesterday,
you told him to drop down dead.
334
00:19:07,760 --> 00:19:10,280
For once in his life, he listened!
335
00:19:12,080 --> 00:19:14,160
I can see that Mr Chumley
336
00:19:14,160 --> 00:19:17,800
was not easy to get on with.
337
00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:22,680
Do you know of anyone who might have
a lethal grudge against him?
338
00:19:22,680 --> 00:19:25,400
Well, there was Annabel.
339
00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:27,680
I mean, she had to marry him!
340
00:19:27,680 --> 00:19:29,000
Ah, yes.
341
00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:31,360
I know she was dreading this trip.
342
00:19:31,360 --> 00:19:35,920
Demanded Wednesday morning off
so she could go back to London.
343
00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:37,800
And then on Sunday night...
344
00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:39,760
Yes?
345
00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:42,880
I heard her on the telephone
to her agent.
346
00:19:42,880 --> 00:19:46,800
Sobbing. Saying Charlie
had ruined everything.
347
00:19:46,800 --> 00:19:48,840
Did she say how?
348
00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:51,080
I never heard that.
349
00:19:51,080 --> 00:19:52,920
Oh...
350
00:19:52,920 --> 00:19:55,560
Please! I...
351
00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:59,960
I have to get back to Graham.
352
00:19:59,960 --> 00:20:02,200
We must work on our scenes.
353
00:20:03,640 --> 00:20:05,640
Yes, Miss Warmley.
354
00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:10,160
I will do everything possible
to make sure that happens.
355
00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:15,840
Father, I feel I'm in hell.
356
00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:17,920
I mean, poor Charlie.
357
00:20:17,920 --> 00:20:19,760
But then, poor Elizabeth.
358
00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:24,160
And poor everyone! We don't
even know if the show is safe.
359
00:20:25,560 --> 00:20:28,920
It must be a very precarious
occupation, acting.
360
00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:32,920
Forever searching for the next job.
Yes!
361
00:20:32,920 --> 00:20:37,000
It's a nonstop round
of begging letters and auditions.
362
00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:39,840
Is that why you asked
for Wednesday morning off,
363
00:20:39,840 --> 00:20:43,120
so you could go back to London?
364
00:20:43,120 --> 00:20:44,840
No.
365
00:20:44,840 --> 00:20:48,320
No, I won't be going to London.
No?
366
00:20:48,320 --> 00:20:51,080
I had an audition.
367
00:20:51,080 --> 00:20:53,080
But now I don't.
368
00:20:53,080 --> 00:20:57,280
Would that have been for a show
called The King And I?
369
00:20:57,280 --> 00:20:58,640
How do you know?
370
00:20:58,640 --> 00:21:02,760
Well, at the wedding photography
session yesterday,
371
00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:06,480
Charlie Chumley taunted you, he said
you could "Whistle A Happy Tune",
372
00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:10,800
and that is a song
from The King And I.
373
00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:12,520
It is.
374
00:21:12,520 --> 00:21:15,760
And it was going to be
my West End debut.
375
00:21:15,760 --> 00:21:19,840
Only, on Sunday night, my agent
said they didn't want to see me.
376
00:21:19,840 --> 00:21:23,440
Someone had told them
that I was unreliable.
377
00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:25,440
Unreliable! Me!
378
00:21:25,440 --> 00:21:28,720
And you think that someone
was Charlie Chumley?
379
00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:30,320
It had to be.
380
00:21:30,320 --> 00:21:32,320
He was the only one who knew.
381
00:21:32,320 --> 00:21:36,040
Why would Mr Chumley
sabotage your career?
382
00:21:36,040 --> 00:21:42,400
Oh... Isn't it obvious? He wanted
to be the star of The Muckles.
383
00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:45,120
And by marrying me,
taking over the farm...
384
00:21:45,120 --> 00:21:47,960
But if I left, it would make life
difficult for him,
385
00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:49,920
so I think he made a few phone calls
and...
386
00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:51,120
KNOCK ON DOOR
387
00:21:52,320 --> 00:21:53,440
Come in!
388
00:21:55,280 --> 00:21:57,320
Hello.
389
00:21:57,320 --> 00:22:00,280
We have a situation.
In the pigsty.
390
00:22:05,920 --> 00:22:09,560
Hello! Father, forgive me.
391
00:22:09,560 --> 00:22:12,240
I was just looking for the piggies.
392
00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:16,840
Napoleon, Snowball, Squealer.
393
00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:21,120
Kenneth, you do know
it's not a farm any more?
394
00:22:21,120 --> 00:22:23,560
The animals died some time ago.
395
00:22:23,560 --> 00:22:26,240
They're all still here in my memory.
396
00:22:26,240 --> 00:22:30,000
Running around
with their little curly tails.
397
00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:33,880
Annabel, could you come in with me?
398
00:22:33,880 --> 00:22:36,320
But I've got my suedes on.
399
00:22:36,320 --> 00:22:38,600
Then could you make
a strong pot of coffee?
400
00:22:38,600 --> 00:22:41,200
Yes. I could definitely do that.
401
00:22:49,480 --> 00:22:53,120
Do you know what they call
a little piggy,
402
00:22:53,120 --> 00:22:56,840
the teeniest in the litter?
403
00:22:56,840 --> 00:22:59,960
That would be the runt. Yes.
404
00:22:59,960 --> 00:23:02,760
That's what my father
used to call me.
405
00:23:02,760 --> 00:23:04,280
"You're a runt.
406
00:23:04,280 --> 00:23:07,960
"A pathetic seven-stone weakling."
407
00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:10,600
But I am not a runt!
408
00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:12,800
I am a BBC producer!
409
00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:16,960
Yes, and a very fine one.
No, I'm not!
410
00:23:16,960 --> 00:23:20,000
I just seem to ruin everything.
411
00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:23,280
I thought coming here would
breathe new life into the show.
412
00:23:23,280 --> 00:23:26,200
But now Charlie's dead,
413
00:23:26,200 --> 00:23:29,920
Elizabeth's been locked up,
414
00:23:29,920 --> 00:23:32,960
and I don't know what to do
for tonight's episode!
415
00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:34,400
Kenneth, give me that.
416
00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:43,800
That was a disgusting waste!
417
00:23:43,800 --> 00:23:45,320
Not at all.
418
00:23:45,320 --> 00:23:48,720
In fact, the earthworms
are having a marvellous party.
419
00:23:48,720 --> 00:23:51,080
But your job
is to entertain the nation.
420
00:23:51,080 --> 00:23:53,320
But we haven't got a show!
421
00:23:53,320 --> 00:23:57,480
Oh, come on, Kenneth. We've
weathered worse storms than this.
422
00:23:58,880 --> 00:24:00,120
Storms?
423
00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:04,960
Storms, yes. Yes, that... That's it!
424
00:24:07,440 --> 00:24:08,560
Thank you.
425
00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:17,000
Well done, Mr Snow. Very persuasive.
426
00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:19,840
The thing is -
my part was based on his father,
427
00:24:19,840 --> 00:24:23,400
so I always get through to him.
428
00:24:23,400 --> 00:24:27,680
Now I just have to work out
what to do for poor Elizabeth.
429
00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:37,040
Miss Warmley?
430
00:24:37,040 --> 00:24:40,240
Oh, dear.
Not more questions. No.
431
00:24:40,240 --> 00:24:41,960
But it's seven o'clock.
432
00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:44,360
I thought you might like
to listen to the wireless.
433
00:24:44,360 --> 00:24:46,360
I'd rather be on it,
434
00:24:46,360 --> 00:24:49,200
but it will be nice to know
how my friends are doing.
435
00:24:49,200 --> 00:24:50,480
All right, then.
436
00:24:55,960 --> 00:24:59,000
THE MUCKLES THEME MUSIC BEGINS
437
00:25:04,160 --> 00:25:06,040
THUNDER-LIKE RATTLING
438
00:25:06,040 --> 00:25:07,440
Oh! Oh!
439
00:25:07,440 --> 00:25:10,440
This is the most terrible storm!
440
00:25:10,440 --> 00:25:14,040
You think I don't know?
I'm soaked to the skin!
441
00:25:14,040 --> 00:25:16,600
Milly, I know
we've had our disagreements,
442
00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:20,120
but we have to work together
for the sake of the farm.
443
00:25:20,120 --> 00:25:22,560
Poor Miss Hawthorn's
gone missing, and...
444
00:25:22,560 --> 00:25:24,280
Where are her horses?
445
00:25:24,280 --> 00:25:26,160
I think they've bolted.
446
00:25:26,160 --> 00:25:29,040
Moonlight? Moonlight!
HORSE GALLOPS
447
00:25:29,040 --> 00:25:31,080
Moonlight!
448
00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:33,560
How's the head, Mr Clay?
449
00:25:33,560 --> 00:25:35,520
Oh, much better, thank you.
450
00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:39,040
I was just rather overwhelmed
by recent events.
451
00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:42,000
But everything's back on track now.
452
00:25:45,320 --> 00:25:49,600
GALLOPING HORSE SOUND EFFECTS
Easy, boy. Easy...
453
00:25:51,640 --> 00:25:55,000
Well, I thought that was
the best episode ever.
454
00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:57,720
Your wind noises were wonderful.
455
00:25:57,720 --> 00:26:00,680
I know! And when the horse
got stuck in the mud,
456
00:26:00,680 --> 00:26:03,520
you know it's not real, but you
start to see it in front of you.
457
00:26:03,520 --> 00:26:06,240
I think it's because
we're all listening together.
458
00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:08,680
20 million people, all believing.
459
00:26:10,280 --> 00:26:15,040
The episode's going very well,
in spite of all the disasters.
460
00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:17,560
And now they have another disaster.
461
00:26:19,880 --> 00:26:23,120
No, Chief Constable, she clearly
told him to drop down dead.
462
00:26:24,320 --> 00:26:27,360
No, not in the programme,
she actually said it in real life.
463
00:26:27,360 --> 00:26:28,760
Excuse me.
464
00:26:29,840 --> 00:26:32,600
Please tell me you have
some good news from the labs.
465
00:26:35,280 --> 00:26:36,760
Mr Clay?
466
00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:47,240
Mr Clay?
467
00:26:54,920 --> 00:26:58,400
"Dead? But no, Daddy, he can't be."
468
00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:03,240
"I'm afraid so.
Crushed by an old oak tree."
469
00:27:06,520 --> 00:27:08,800
Father Brown?
470
00:27:08,800 --> 00:27:11,360
Mr Clay. Forgive me.
471
00:27:11,360 --> 00:27:14,520
I am, as you know,
an avid Muckles listener.
472
00:27:14,520 --> 00:27:18,160
Fair enough. Though I would prefer
you to wait till the actual episode.
473
00:27:18,160 --> 00:27:21,440
Which I am sure will be gripping.
474
00:27:21,440 --> 00:27:25,200
I have just read the interview
with the late Charlie Chumley.
475
00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:28,080
Oh, Lord.
476
00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:29,920
Break it to me gently.
477
00:27:31,600 --> 00:27:35,840
He said he writes scripts
for The Muckles...
478
00:27:35,840 --> 00:27:38,240
Ha! No. Absolutely not.
479
00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:40,360
That was just Charlie
spinning a yarn.
480
00:27:40,360 --> 00:27:43,560
Believe me, there is only
one captain on this ship.
481
00:27:43,560 --> 00:27:46,120
And what would the captain do,
Mr Clay,
482
00:27:46,120 --> 00:27:50,400
should one of the crew
threaten mutiny?
483
00:27:50,400 --> 00:27:54,920
Father, I hope you're not
suggesting something unsavoury.
484
00:27:54,920 --> 00:27:57,480
There were many times I could have
cheerfully murdered Charlie Chumley.
485
00:27:57,480 --> 00:28:01,760
But I've been through hell
this week. Writing and rewriting.
486
00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:06,040
We will have a wonderful episode
in the church this evening.
487
00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:07,840
But nothing like my original plan.
488
00:28:07,840 --> 00:28:12,040
What was the original plan? Well, it
was going to be the wedding episode.
489
00:28:13,480 --> 00:28:17,840
Jethero would be late, of course.
Always adds to the drama.
490
00:28:17,840 --> 00:28:21,560
Then at the end of this joyous,
happy episode...
491
00:28:22,680 --> 00:28:24,720
...Mr Muckle was going to die.
492
00:28:24,720 --> 00:28:27,440
What? That's the reaction
I was hoping for.
493
00:28:27,440 --> 00:28:30,440
Certainly surprised Graham on the
bus. But I kept telling him,
494
00:28:30,440 --> 00:28:34,280
"If you're going to go,
you may as well go in style."
495
00:28:34,280 --> 00:28:36,160
We've got a visitor!
496
00:28:38,080 --> 00:28:40,560
Apparently,
some very important solicitor
497
00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:42,360
who knows the Chief Constable
498
00:28:42,360 --> 00:28:45,360
demanded that they look
at the evidence again.
499
00:28:45,360 --> 00:28:49,600
And as there's nothing conclusive,
I'm out on police bail
500
00:28:49,600 --> 00:28:53,920
pending further enquiries. But who
exactly instructed this solicitor?
501
00:28:53,920 --> 00:28:58,320
I don't know.
I must have a guardian angel.
502
00:28:58,320 --> 00:28:59,720
It doesn't matter who it was.
503
00:28:59,720 --> 00:29:03,320
The main thing is -
you're in tonight's show.
504
00:29:03,320 --> 00:29:05,720
And the show must go on.
505
00:29:07,520 --> 00:29:10,640
Mr Snow,
might I have a private word?
506
00:29:17,280 --> 00:29:22,240
I presume YOU were responsible
for the solicitor.
507
00:29:22,240 --> 00:29:24,640
Was it that obvious?
508
00:29:24,640 --> 00:29:28,120
The thing is, I know
beyond all doubt she didn't do it.
509
00:29:28,120 --> 00:29:30,360
How can you be so sure?
510
00:29:30,360 --> 00:29:35,080
Because Elizabeth is
the kindest person I've ever met.
511
00:29:35,080 --> 00:29:36,760
She's just like the sun.
512
00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:40,720
As soon as she appears,
everyone feels better.
513
00:29:42,240 --> 00:29:45,160
Are you in love with her, Mr Snow?
514
00:29:45,160 --> 00:29:47,280
More than you could
possibly imagine.
515
00:29:47,280 --> 00:29:53,040
Have you told her
about your feelings? How could I?
516
00:29:53,040 --> 00:29:57,280
We have the most wonderful time
together, but what if...
517
00:29:57,280 --> 00:30:00,760
...she doesn't feel the same way?
518
00:30:00,760 --> 00:30:05,240
So, no, no, I just carry on
sharing a microphone,
519
00:30:05,240 --> 00:30:07,080
but never my feelings.
520
00:30:08,480 --> 00:30:10,880
Admiring Miss Warmley from afar.
521
00:30:12,280 --> 00:30:14,280
But that was about to change.
522
00:30:15,680 --> 00:30:19,440
You were going to be
written out of The Muckles.
523
00:30:19,440 --> 00:30:24,840
Indeed, on the way here, you read
a script... in which he dies.
524
00:30:24,840 --> 00:30:26,480
Which distressed you greatly.
525
00:30:26,480 --> 00:30:28,560
Of course it did!
How would you feel?
526
00:30:28,560 --> 00:30:30,400
I've been totally devoted
to this show,
527
00:30:30,400 --> 00:30:32,520
and then to be tossed aside...
528
00:30:32,520 --> 00:30:35,720
And yet you were not tossed aside.
529
00:30:35,720 --> 00:30:40,200
Thanks to Mr Chumley's death, you
will remain. As will Miss Warmley.
530
00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:45,680
Father Brown, I don't know
who killed Charlie,
531
00:30:45,680 --> 00:30:48,040
but I would never be brave enough.
532
00:30:48,040 --> 00:30:51,120
You see, I've been in love
with Elizabeth for ten years,
533
00:30:51,120 --> 00:30:54,560
and I'm still too terrified
to tell her.
534
00:30:54,560 --> 00:30:57,720
I'm not a man who takes risks.
535
00:30:57,720 --> 00:30:58,840
Indeed.
536
00:31:00,240 --> 00:31:03,080
But an hour ago,
Miss Warmley was in a cell,
537
00:31:03,080 --> 00:31:05,960
and now she is enjoying
the taste of freedom.
538
00:31:07,360 --> 00:31:10,640
Perhaps it's time you escaped
from your cell.
539
00:31:16,160 --> 00:31:19,000
Here we go. Hot off the press.
540
00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:21,080
So, what's actually going to happen?
541
00:31:21,080 --> 00:31:24,240
Milly learns of the death of Jethro.
542
00:31:24,240 --> 00:31:27,040
And will be furious
with her father, of course.
543
00:31:27,040 --> 00:31:30,360
But Miss Hawthorn
will bring them back together.
544
00:31:30,360 --> 00:31:32,600
Then, having brought peace
to the Muckles,
545
00:31:32,600 --> 00:31:34,920
she reveals that her sister
is very ill
546
00:31:34,920 --> 00:31:37,600
and she has to move back to London.
547
00:31:37,600 --> 00:31:40,120
London? The thing is, Elizabeth,
548
00:31:40,120 --> 00:31:42,400
it's marvellous that you're out on
bail, but...
549
00:31:42,400 --> 00:31:45,560
Who knows what happens next?
We have to think of the show.
550
00:31:45,560 --> 00:31:49,160
Now, hang on! No, no.
I... I understand.
551
00:31:49,160 --> 00:31:52,800
Now we also need a friend
and confidante for Milly.
552
00:31:55,640 --> 00:31:57,840
Father Brown? Yes?
553
00:31:58,920 --> 00:32:01,640
I realise this is unlikely, but...
554
00:32:01,640 --> 00:32:03,440
...do you know of any actresses?
555
00:32:09,560 --> 00:32:13,320
This is the greatest honour
of my entire life.
556
00:32:13,320 --> 00:32:16,800
Although I am terrified.
What if I mess up my first line?
557
00:32:16,800 --> 00:32:18,440
What is your first line?
558
00:32:18,440 --> 00:32:20,320
"Hello, Milly."
559
00:32:21,480 --> 00:32:23,960
I'm not going to think about
the 20 million listeners.
560
00:32:23,960 --> 00:32:27,240
I'm doing it for these people.
My friends.
561
00:32:27,240 --> 00:32:29,120
Oh, there's Edgar!
562
00:32:32,240 --> 00:32:34,400
Isn't it romantic?
563
00:32:34,400 --> 00:32:37,720
If you see any decorations you like,
just let me know
564
00:32:37,720 --> 00:32:41,080
and I'll try and keep hold of them.
Oh, that's wonderful, Isabel,
565
00:32:41,080 --> 00:32:43,520
but I'm afraid I'm not here
just for your performance.
566
00:32:43,520 --> 00:32:44,840
I'm also here to keep an eye
567
00:32:44,840 --> 00:32:48,760
on someone who remains
our number one suspect. Oh...
568
00:32:48,760 --> 00:32:50,840
But good luck! Thank you.
569
00:32:54,040 --> 00:32:55,520
Ah, there we are.
570
00:32:58,120 --> 00:32:59,920
Hello, everyone.
571
00:32:59,920 --> 00:33:03,400
Thank you for coming to this
live transmission of The Muckles.
572
00:33:03,400 --> 00:33:06,280
We would ask you, please,
to remain in your pews,
573
00:33:06,280 --> 00:33:08,920
and avoid any extraneous noise.
574
00:33:08,920 --> 00:33:13,160
Obviously, I have asked Father Brown
to silence the bells.
575
00:33:13,160 --> 00:33:14,200
CHUCKLING
576
00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:16,200
Are we ready at the back?
577
00:33:16,200 --> 00:33:19,960
When the "on air" sign illuminates,
578
00:33:19,960 --> 00:33:21,960
we will be live to the nation.
579
00:33:26,120 --> 00:33:29,360
Mr Clay, may I have a word?
580
00:33:29,360 --> 00:33:30,760
I am a bit busy!
581
00:33:30,760 --> 00:33:33,200
But I'm afraid this can't wait.
582
00:33:33,200 --> 00:33:35,680
And I'm sure the show will go on
without you.
583
00:33:42,960 --> 00:33:48,440
Tonight's episode is dedicated
to Mr Charlie Chumley,
584
00:33:48,440 --> 00:33:51,360
a much-loved member
of The Muckles cast,
585
00:33:51,360 --> 00:33:55,640
who sadly passed away this week.
586
00:34:01,400 --> 00:34:05,400
May I say, it is such a great
privilege to watch you work,
587
00:34:05,400 --> 00:34:09,680
conjuring stories out of thin air
and committing them to tape.
588
00:34:09,680 --> 00:34:13,120
Well, I've had to do that.
Sheer pressure of time.
589
00:34:13,120 --> 00:34:15,280
I heard the recording you made
590
00:34:15,280 --> 00:34:19,000
of your characters
reacting to the death of Jethro.
591
00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:22,000
And in the background,
I could hear the church bells.
592
00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:26,960
But the bells only rang
on Sunday this week.
593
00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:30,880
Which means that you were preparing
for the death of Charlie Chumley
594
00:34:30,880 --> 00:34:33,240
while he was still alive.
595
00:34:33,240 --> 00:34:35,560
I think you're forgetting
my profession, Father.
596
00:34:35,560 --> 00:34:37,040
I do use sound effects.
597
00:34:37,040 --> 00:34:40,000
And I think you're forgetting mine.
598
00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:44,240
I would know the sound
of St Mary's bells anywhere.
599
00:34:47,160 --> 00:34:50,040
What did Mr Chumley do
600
00:34:50,040 --> 00:34:52,480
that made you decide he had to die?
601
00:34:52,480 --> 00:34:55,120
Or what did he discover?
602
00:34:57,120 --> 00:35:00,840
I suspect the answer
lies in your father's love of radio.
603
00:35:02,600 --> 00:35:04,240
What do you mean?
604
00:35:04,240 --> 00:35:07,320
I was very intrigued by the map
in his study.
605
00:35:07,320 --> 00:35:10,240
Great Britain, studded with pins.
606
00:35:10,240 --> 00:35:14,720
London, Coventry,
Liverpool, Southampton.
607
00:35:14,720 --> 00:35:18,120
And then I realised they were
all cities that suffered
608
00:35:18,120 --> 00:35:21,520
major bombing raids in World War II.
609
00:35:23,320 --> 00:35:26,800
A strange thing
for a farmer to record.
610
00:35:26,800 --> 00:35:31,560
And then when I returned,
the map had been removed.
611
00:35:31,560 --> 00:35:35,000
It was in the way.
I wanted to make the place my own.
612
00:35:36,240 --> 00:35:41,520
William Joyce, the traitor,
known as Lord Haw-haw,
613
00:35:41,520 --> 00:35:45,200
broadcast every night
on behalf of the Nazi Party,
614
00:35:45,200 --> 00:35:48,120
celebrating every bomb that fell.
615
00:35:49,440 --> 00:35:53,040
I wonder, did your father
attempt the same sort of thing?
616
00:35:53,040 --> 00:35:55,640
Perhaps as an aficionado,
617
00:35:55,640 --> 00:35:59,280
he would know how to evade
detection by the authorities.
618
00:36:01,120 --> 00:36:06,320
And then
Mr Chumley called you Mein Fuhrer.
619
00:36:08,960 --> 00:36:11,000
I wonder,
620
00:36:11,000 --> 00:36:14,320
did Charlie Chumley
find out your father's secret?
621
00:36:14,320 --> 00:36:17,440
I should have known
that Charlie would go snooping.
622
00:36:23,480 --> 00:36:26,400
He went looking for beer
or cigarettes.
623
00:36:26,400 --> 00:36:27,640
Hello!
624
00:36:30,680 --> 00:36:33,160
And he found something
a lot more deadly.
625
00:36:42,040 --> 00:36:43,280
What's this?
626
00:36:44,760 --> 00:36:47,800
Oh, my word. What...
627
00:36:47,800 --> 00:36:50,920
...have we... here?
628
00:36:58,080 --> 00:36:59,560
What are you doing?
629
00:37:00,800 --> 00:37:03,840
I'm... reading a letter.
630
00:37:03,840 --> 00:37:07,240
From an old friend of your father's.
631
00:37:07,240 --> 00:37:08,560
What friend?
632
00:37:08,560 --> 00:37:11,440
Well, it's a... It's a German name.
633
00:37:11,440 --> 00:37:13,400
Oh, look at that.
634
00:37:13,400 --> 00:37:14,960
It's Joseph Goebbels.
635
00:37:17,400 --> 00:37:18,840
Father would never...
636
00:37:23,520 --> 00:37:28,320
So, Mr Chumley
knew a terrible secret.
637
00:37:28,320 --> 00:37:29,840
And had immense power.
638
00:37:29,840 --> 00:37:34,000
He did. Suddenly, he thought
he was in charge of the show.
639
00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:37,000
He gave me a list of suggestions.
640
00:37:37,000 --> 00:37:38,720
And they were awful.
641
00:37:38,720 --> 00:37:43,440
So, have you had a look at my ideas?
642
00:37:44,840 --> 00:37:48,200
I did, but you must be joking.
643
00:37:48,200 --> 00:37:53,560
Jethro's evil twin?
Flying saucers? An alien invasion?
644
00:37:53,560 --> 00:37:55,600
It would kill the show.
645
00:37:55,600 --> 00:37:58,960
Then why don't we do an episode
646
00:37:58,960 --> 00:38:01,920
where someone turns out
to be a Nazi instead?
647
00:38:04,200 --> 00:38:08,120
You could not allow him to destroy
the beautiful thing you created,
648
00:38:08,120 --> 00:38:10,760
so you had to destroy him.
649
00:38:11,960 --> 00:38:13,640
It all seemed to fall into place.
650
00:38:15,920 --> 00:38:18,000
The farmhouse
was full of rat poison.
651
00:38:20,680 --> 00:38:23,400
And he had that ridiculous
throat spray he used to use.
652
00:38:28,440 --> 00:38:31,560
I had hoped that he would die later,
at the pub.
653
00:38:33,360 --> 00:38:35,600
But Charlie
always had terrible timing.
654
00:38:41,440 --> 00:38:43,880
When he died,
you ran to loosen his clothing.
655
00:38:45,320 --> 00:38:48,040
You were picking his pockets...
656
00:38:48,040 --> 00:38:51,280
...to retrieve the letter
from Herr Goebbels.
657
00:38:51,280 --> 00:38:54,120
An everyday story of farming folk...
658
00:38:54,120 --> 00:38:56,040
Charlie? Charlie!
659
00:38:59,160 --> 00:39:02,360
I had hoped
to keep my father's secret.
660
00:39:03,960 --> 00:39:06,640
I can't even manage that.
661
00:39:06,640 --> 00:39:10,400
Your father went to his maker,
and was judged.
662
00:39:11,960 --> 00:39:15,080
Now you have to confess,
663
00:39:15,080 --> 00:39:17,280
and beg God's forgiveness.
664
00:39:17,280 --> 00:39:20,800
Confess? How can I?
665
00:39:20,800 --> 00:39:24,720
I am The Muckles, Father.
I created it.
666
00:39:24,720 --> 00:39:28,080
Without my particular vision,
it would be lost.
667
00:39:29,480 --> 00:39:34,640
Your programme is loved by millions.
But you must tell the truth,
668
00:39:34,640 --> 00:39:36,320
and save your soul.
669
00:39:36,320 --> 00:39:38,240
For the sake of my listeners,
670
00:39:38,240 --> 00:39:41,040
I must keep my head down
and carry on.
671
00:39:41,040 --> 00:39:43,760
Now, if you'll excuse me, Father.
672
00:39:53,360 --> 00:39:55,600
Oh, Milly.
673
00:39:55,600 --> 00:39:59,120
I know this was meant to be
the happiest day of your life,
674
00:39:59,120 --> 00:40:01,720
but just be glad
you've got your friends and family
675
00:40:01,720 --> 00:40:04,000
who love you very much.
676
00:40:05,240 --> 00:40:11,160
I know. And Jethro will always
live on... in my heart.
677
00:40:11,160 --> 00:40:14,600
Well, I'm just glad
we're all friends again.
678
00:40:14,600 --> 00:40:18,200
Because, as you know,
my sister is very ill.
679
00:40:18,200 --> 00:40:21,640
And family is the most
precious thing.
680
00:40:21,640 --> 00:40:24,680
And so I must... leave you.
681
00:40:26,520 --> 00:40:29,480
No! No!
682
00:40:29,480 --> 00:40:32,240
You can't possibly go!
683
00:40:32,240 --> 00:40:36,120
What? Why ever not?
684
00:40:36,120 --> 00:40:37,600
Because...
685
00:40:38,960 --> 00:40:40,800
...I love you!
686
00:40:42,040 --> 00:40:43,080
Oh!
687
00:40:46,360 --> 00:40:49,400
APPLAUSE, THEME TUNE BEGINS
Graham...
688
00:41:04,000 --> 00:41:08,520
Well, I don't think anyone
was expecting that ending,
689
00:41:08,520 --> 00:41:11,120
but... they seemed to like it.
690
00:41:11,120 --> 00:41:15,640
Yes! It certainly
came as a surprise to me.
691
00:41:15,640 --> 00:41:19,160
But a very welcome one.
692
00:41:19,160 --> 00:41:21,080
Kenneth, I'm...
693
00:41:21,080 --> 00:41:25,560
I'm so sorry, that was most
unprofessional of me...
694
00:41:25,560 --> 00:41:27,080
No.
695
00:41:27,080 --> 00:41:29,680
In fact, it was perfect.
696
00:41:29,680 --> 00:41:33,440
And it's made me realise
the show can go on without me.
697
00:41:33,440 --> 00:41:37,000
What do you mean, darling?
You are the show.
698
00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:38,520
Not any more.
699
00:41:39,920 --> 00:41:42,840
Chief Inspector? May I have a word?
700
00:41:42,840 --> 00:41:44,360
Certainly.
701
00:41:47,400 --> 00:41:50,880
So, thank you, my darlings.
702
00:41:50,880 --> 00:41:55,240
And, please...
look after the show for me.
703
00:42:07,280 --> 00:42:10,600
So, have you enjoyed your week
in Kembleford, Miss Binky?
704
00:42:10,600 --> 00:42:15,040
Well, it's been... extraordinary.
705
00:42:15,040 --> 00:42:19,240
But I don't know how people cope
with no theatre, no cinema,
706
00:42:19,240 --> 00:42:22,160
no culture of any kind. Hang on!
707
00:42:22,160 --> 00:42:25,120
We can still turn on the radio
and listen to you.
708
00:42:25,120 --> 00:42:27,680
Oh! Of course!
709
00:42:27,680 --> 00:42:29,800
And that's what keeps you going.
710
00:42:29,800 --> 00:42:34,200
Well, I'd better get back to London
and make some more episodes.
711
00:42:34,200 --> 00:42:35,840
Goodbye!
712
00:42:39,040 --> 00:42:43,760
Father Brown. I want to thank you
for performing a miracle.
713
00:42:43,760 --> 00:42:46,520
And which miracle would that be?
714
00:42:46,520 --> 00:42:50,520
You got a crusty old curmudgeon
to open his heart.
715
00:42:50,520 --> 00:42:53,760
It was a miracle I'd been waiting
for, for ten years.
716
00:42:53,760 --> 00:42:57,240
And you'll be pleased to hear
we've spoken to our new producer.
717
00:42:57,240 --> 00:42:59,320
Oh, so what's going to happen?
718
00:42:59,320 --> 00:43:01,640
There will be wedding bells.
719
00:43:01,640 --> 00:43:05,440
Both on the programme
and... in real life.
720
00:43:05,440 --> 00:43:08,520
HORN TOOTS
Oh. Well...
721
00:43:08,520 --> 00:43:12,000
Goodbye! Goodbye.
722
00:43:26,320 --> 00:43:29,280
You know I said
I can't stand The Muckles?
723
00:43:29,280 --> 00:43:30,320
Yes?
724
00:43:30,320 --> 00:43:32,600
Kind of like it now.
725
00:43:32,600 --> 00:43:33,960
I think I might miss them.
726
00:43:33,960 --> 00:43:38,000
Oh, Brenda!
You don't need to miss them.
727
00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:40,240
They'll always be there for you.
728
00:43:40,240 --> 00:43:43,280
Every evening at seven.
729
00:43:43,280 --> 00:43:45,000
Your invisible friends.
730
00:43:45,000 --> 00:43:46,520
Aw...
731
00:43:46,570 --> 00:43:51,120
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