All language subtitles for Animal Control s03e02 Rattlers and Gators.eng

Let's go.

- Doc.

She has no recollection

of the last eight years.

Bring it on.

I came here to help you.

"Kitchen Nightmares"

Are you in.

And "Going Dutch"

Pew pew pew.

First guns I've
seen on the base.

Let's go,
let's go.

All available now.

[tires squealing]

[car honks]

You are not going to die today.

Look, it's just
a rattlesnake bite,

and it wouldn't be an issue
if we had anti-venom

in the truck's cooler
instead of your variety pack

of Otter pops.

God, if I kill my work husband.

I'm not your work husband.

I will never
take another, Frank.

We have the anti-venom.
Got every kind we could.

So, feel free to also sit
on a jellyfish.

[lays on horn]

I think I should suck out
the poison.

I don't think it works
that way.

But if there's even
a one percent chance

that it does, I should try.

[brakes screech]

We're at the rendezvous.
Where are you guys?!

We are almost there.

Heads up. Uh...

my field of vision
isn't what it used to be.

His field of vision isn't
what it used to be!

[Patel] We're coming.
Hold on, Frank!

[sucking sounds]

Can you guys hurry?

Shred is using more teeth
than the snake did.

[Shred spits]

[sucking noises]

And tongue.

?

[Emily] Look alive, people.

Fiona Holcomb will be here
in 15 minutes.

Lifestyle brand maven,
potential donor,

and my personal hero.

I need everyone looking busy,
but not frantic.

Okay, just busy.
But not frantic! Okay?

Everything has to be perfect.

Bettany's out getting pastries.

Did you guys memorize
your scripts?

- Yeah.
- Wait. Scripts?

Yeah. Everyone got scripts.

Shred, this is a huge deal.

We could get funding to finally
create an adoption space,

and... and we need it. I mean...

those animal meet and greets
out back by the dumpster

are a real bummer.

And you don't even have to deal
with the creepy old man

who keeps offering to adopt me.

Yeah, sorry about that.

And I'm completely off book.

Maya and I ran lines this
morning at breakfast.

That's so great.
Is that where you got that

hot sauce stain on
your uniform?

Could you maybe change
into a freshie?

Oh... yeah.

Thank you.

Hey, why doesn't Frank
have to partake in this

well-intentioned charade?

I gave Frank the day off.

He can be a little, um...
spicy around rich people.

Yeah.

All people, really.

Hello!

Oh, Fiona! Hi.

You're here and you're early.

- Yes. Hello. Hi.
- Which is perfect for us.

Hi.

Come on in, this is
our bullpen.

The beating heart of
our operation.

And... and these are some
of our best officers.

- Now?
- Yeah.

Supervisor Price, I have
those updated numbers

for you to review.
- Great.

Adoptions are up in every
category,

and so is morale.

Some say you can't measure
that with a number,

but we sure do. 100.

Also...

Also, uh... we're rescuing
more animals off the streets

than ever before, which leads
to our number one issue.

Overcrowding.

Thank you.

- [whispers] Shred.
- What?

Yes, and, um...

because of that, sometimes
we have to fit

multiple dogs in a kennel.

And during kitten season,
we... have... to...

fill our drawers
with kitty litter.

- No, we don't.
- How is that?

No, no.
No, we don't do that.

There's no poop in our drawers.
The desk or the pant.

Right.

Wow. Well, I appreciate
the effort

that went into
that presentation.

[laughs nervously]

There's a sweaty sincerity
at play.

I wanna see the rest
of the precinct.

Who's gonna show me around?

- I could-
- Shred.

Yeah. Me. [laughs]

- Right this way, mom.
- Hello.

Thank...

- ...Ma'am.
- Thank you.

What is happening?

- Hi.
- Hi. Hi.

- Officer Patel, please hold.
- Fiona, great to meet you.

- Sorry, lots of calls.
- Hi.

Oh my God. She's amazing.

So hot!

I only have a couple notes
before she comes back.

But that was so great.
Wait. Frank!

Uh... hi. What are you
doing here?

I'm going for a hike
on my day off.

I'm getting my thigh weights,

otherwise it's just
an uphill walk.

Uh-huh. Uh... but, you know,
you're so strong already.

Uh... why don't...
why don't I walk you out?

Let's get you on that hike.

[chuckles] Get on the mountain.

Something's going on.

What?

Why is Patel in a clean shirt?

Oh, I eat nude now.

And who took down
the X-ray of the dog

that swallowed the sex toy?

What are you hiding?
I want answers.

Nothing. Nothing's going on.

I brought the scones
and the clotted cream.

Oh.

Yeah. Okay, Frank,
just get in my office.

[kicks drawer]

So, you're just gonna send me
away on a 20-mile hike?

You weren't gonna hike
that far.

You're right. First half, hike.
Second half, full sprint.

Hiding me away so
you can tap dance

for some hoity-toity loidy?

Are you trying to say lady?

I thought today was my day off,
so maybe my zingers

aren't quite zinging yet.

The truth is, I've noticed
you get a little prickly

around people who have money.

I mean, remember that woman who
you made cry because she wanted

to buy a purebred
King Charles Spaniel?

Yeah. We don't have royalty
in this country.

You want a spaniel, you get
an American Cocker.

We threw out the British
and their dogs.

It's a dog, Frank.

Yeah.
A dog with terrible teeth.

?

Muscle Mojo Energy Drink.

Brands keep sending me stuff.
Officer Thumbs is blowing up!

Look... the 'gram's now counting
my followers in the K'S.

K's, Victoria.

Wow.

[dance music]
- Thumbs!

Yeah, you've shown me that one.

[laughs] I could watch it
a million times.

Well, don't forget us little
people when you become

a big time influen- wait.

The second ingredient listed
is colloidal silver.

Oh, that stuff is awesome.

Do not take it
if you're ever thinking

about getting pregnant.

- Ever.
- Okay...

[Bettany] Patel.
You're gonna wanna sit down.

I'm in my truck.
I'm... sitting down.

[Bettany] Officer Thumbs
has been asked

to throw out the first pitch

at the Everson Small Stallions
game tonight.

[radio static]

Please hold my calls, I need
a few seconds to process this.

[Bettany] I don't take
your calls.

Is this a... a big thing?

When I was a kid, I used
to stand on piles of laundry

and pretend it was the mound
at Everson Stadium.

And now...

can you actually, uh...
film this?

I wanna put it on social.

Make sure you can
see the label.

[recording starts]

When I was just a little boy...

in my immigrant parents' home-

No!

[Frank] I can be charming.

Look, I'm sorry, but we need
to raise money.

So, I need you to be
a team player

and just stay on the bench
for this one.

A team doesn't bench their
star player during crunch time.

Look, we need to focus,
take it one game at a time,

and I can keep this
analogy going all the way

to the playoffs.

Thank you, Bettany.

Frank! Hey.

I thought you had the day off.

I do, but when I heard that
the Fiona Holcomb was visiting,

I had to swing by.

I'm a huge fan.
It's an honor to meet you.

That's very sweet.
And you are?

In shorts.

[both laugh]

Frank Shaw, senior officer.

So, uh... what's next
on your agenda?

Uh... Shred was just gonna take
Fiona on a ride along.

- Yeah.
- You should join us.

I'd love to!

But I defer to our
supervising officer, Price.

Permission to put on pants
and join them?

[laughs]

Permission granted.

Alright.

- Great! Oh. Excuse me.
- [cell phone buzzing]

Oh, sure. You know,
take your time.

I'm just gonna talk
to these guys,

do a little team management.

I swear to God, if you
screw this up,

you will be on kennel
cleaning duty until you retire

a sad and broken man.

Too late. I'm already
sad and broken.

Okay. Hey, can I jump in?

Frank's gonna knock this one
outta the park, I can feel it.

Oh, really? So... so you're
vouching for him?

Totally.

Are you sure about that?

I think so.

Okay, done.

You vouched, so you're
on the hook.

Wait, what does that mean?

It means you're on the hook.

She can't define a word
with the word.

That's one of the rules.

Ehh. It is what it is.

What does that mean?

?

No matter how long
I do this job,

I'm still amazed by some of
the calls we get.

A couple of months ago,
we rescued a chatty parrot

who later helped convict
his owner of murder.

No!

Yeah, we pretty much do it all.

Oh, I must remember to get
someone to call you about

this coyote that's been
lurking around my property.

Okay. Yeah. Um...

usually we can only pick them
up if they're sick, but...

yeah, we can totally take
a look at that for you.

- Thank you.
- Right, Frank?

Well, it seems a little
early in the ride

to compromise ourselves
and remove an animal

from his native habitat.

Fine.

I'll just wait for it to eat
one of the neighbor's kids.

[Shred laughs nervously]

On the hook, dude.

Sure, we'd be happy to come by
and violate the public's trust.

And when you come over
for the coyote,

would you mind checking
the pool

because Magda says
there's a dead rat.

Oh, we don't do dead rats.

Oh, Frank, if we're already
there, I think we-

It's sanitation.

I am just messing with you.

[laughing]

I don't have a dead rat.

I just knew if you freaked out
about the coyote,

you would definitely freak out
over a dead rat.

Okay. Teasing the driver.

A, uh... favorite pastime of
thieving aristocracy.

Oh, I think you'd like
my driver.

He wears micro shorts too.

[laughing]

Okay. Hello. I love it.

You know, it's teasing,
but it's right on the line.

Good.

[cars honking]

What is that stuff?
My eyes are watering.

Deep Heat rub.
I'm on the mound in four hours.

Gotta grease the cannon.

There he is!

Mixed breed Wolfhound.
Red bandana.

Nice.

[dog groans]

[phone ringing]

Ah... it's the events
coordinator for the Small Stallions.

We've been trading calls
on some VIP stuff.

Do not take that call.

Listen, you've got this.

He's got a bandana on,
he's gonna be a good boy.

Outlaws wear bandanas too.
And gang members.

Hey, Deb.

Listen, I have a question
about some parking.

Alright. Hey!

[dog barking]

Can I park in the players lot?

Patel!

Whoa, whoa, whoa!
You're sending me a car!

- Come on!
[Patel] Like, to keep?

[Victoria calls after dog]
Hey, big boy...

Oh, right. [laughs]
No, of course.

- That's still very generous.
- Ahhhh!!!

So, listen, I also wanna talk
about my walk-on music.

Yeah, the thing is...

[Victoria] I want a new partner!

Yeah, that's not really
my brand.

[groans]
Oh, man...

Something's eating
all our fish.

And whatever it is...

I heard it rustling
in the bushes over there.

Well, I hope he doesn't have
a koi intolerance,

or this could get messy.

Frank... it's gotta be Oreo.
I can feel it.

Sorry. Oreo is this runaway
zoo penguin

that we've been trying
to catch,

and he duped me
at a water park.

Gosh, that sounds personal.

I'm gonna run back to the truck
and get the mackerel

I bought with my own money.
Alright?

I'll be right back.

And hey, Frank? Frank.

Okay, so... transparency
is one of my core values,

and I feel like there might be
some tension between us, Frank.

Shut up.

Well... precisely.

No.

Alligator.

Oh... my God.

Stay close and don't make
any noise.

[squeaking] Oh my God!

[squeaking] Oh my God!

A little quieter.

Shh.

[Alligator grumbles]

[whispers] That's an alligator.

Yeah. Don't move.

Where did it come from?

People get them as pets
and then they ditch them

when they get too big.
- [Fiona yelping]

Like, MMA fighters.
Guys in ponytails.

University of
Florida enthusiasts.

You're... you're very calm.

It's cool. It's just a gator.

[alligator grumbles]

[whispers] Oh my God.

Alright.

This first pitch...
just lob it in there.

No. I need to throw heat.

Garrett Wargo is
pitching tonight.

I wanna impress him.

As season ticket holders,
you and I have seen

hundreds of first pitches.

Which do you remember?

The guy with the car
dealerships had a heart attack.

Yeah, because he tried
to throw it too hard

and blew his ticker.

Hi!

Oh... What's with
the, uh, Lego hair?

This is car wax with
a 20,000 mile guarantee.

It's not coming out
in one show-

could... have you done the
paperwork on the Wolfhound?

My, uh, pitching arm...
same as my writing arm, so...

You are being such a diva!

Diva's a little extreme.

To be fair, earlier, you did
toss the truck keys at Victoria

and said... [snaps]...
she's out front.

What?

Officer Thumbs wouldn't even
exist if I hadn't pushed you

in front of the camera,
just to do something nice

for you and your daughter,
who I don't really like.

Alright. I'm sorry.

The last thing I need is drama
in my entourage.

Going backwards, man.

Too true.

Thank you for
the mirror, Bettany.

I have been a diva.

Yeah.

How can I make it right?

$1,350. Venmo.

The specificity of that number

makes me worried
you're not okay.

You know what, I think I've got
the perfect thing.

Better than money, trust me.

I doubt that.

Let's do this, Bettany.

Alright, remember...
just real simple.

Lob it in there.

Utterly forgettable.
Nailed it!

Hi, Fiona.

How's it going out in the field
with our fantastic officers?

Already dropped her back
at her office, boss.

What? No, no, no, no, no!

I didn't even get to share
my proposal with her.

It's comprehensive.

I had to order a special
binder for this.

Wait. What happened?

Nothing. I think Fiona was very
impressed with Frank all day.

Yeah, she was.

Eww. Why do you sound
like that?

[Emily] Uh... yeah.
I'm not liking that one bit.

Um... Shred?
Hi, Shred. Tell me everything.

There's nothing to tell.

[Emily] Might I remind you
that you're on the hook?

So, tell me the truth
right now,

and I will grant you
total immunity.

Frank may have mentioned
that he flirted with Fiona.

Shred, I'm gonna kill you.

Frank, I am going to kill you!

Yeah, okay. Listen.

So, I flirted with her a little
bit, but you know what?

That's only gonna help us
get her on the board,

so, you're welcome.

For what? Potentially
crossing the line

with the woman whose brand
is female empowerment?

Exactly.

Oh, trust me, there was a vibe.

A vibe?

Yeah, a vibe.

You're gonna have to take
my word for it.

Well, we don't have to take
your word for it

because we have
body cam footage.

[gasps] Yes! That's right.

[chanting together]
Body cam! Body cam!

Body cam.

Terrific. I trust my body cam's
body of work, everybody.

Hope you guys are fans
of British-American

romantic comedies, because
this is the Notting Hill

of body cam footage.

Okay, just let us watch it,
you ick.

[Fiona] I feel like there might
be some tension between us.

[Frank] Shut up.

[gasps] Whoa!

That is no way to talk
to a Forbes cover girl.

Wait, did you change?

You changed. Are you dressing
like her now?

What? No. Maybe.

Look, everybody knows
that flirting

is 90 percent pheromones.

[Fiona] Ooh!

[Frank] And try not
to make... noise.

Where did it come from?

Well, uh...

[static]

[Fiona squeaks]

[Frank] They get too big-
ditch them-

Why does it sound like a janky
drive-through order box?

Shh!

[Frank] ...with ponytails-
fighters-

[static]

[Fiona] Oh my God!

Clearly, this is the worst
depiction of what happened.

The production values
are terrible.

They never even show
the leading man's face.

Camera doesn't lie, Frank,
nor does the microphone.

Okay, maybe...

Maybe I misread this.

Oh, no, no. Um...

Hey. Hey, Bettany?

Did you connect
with Fiona's office?

Just got off with them.

And they said they'd be
in touch.

And to stop calling.

[scoffs]

Our funding is gone.

This is why I didn't
want you involved.

You flirted her away, Frank.

Okay, I did capture
a giant alligator.

Nobody wants to see
that footage?

No, we don't.

Okay, what he meant to say was,
I'm sorry.

Well, now the both of you
are gonna be sorry,

because now the two of you
are on the hook.

What happened
to total immunity?

Oh, I lied to induce
a confession.

Welcome to the real world.

That was an
awkward interaction.

As you might call it, Frank...
a vibe.

?

Come on.

This could've been a PDF.

[Fiona] What are you
doing here?

Hi. Uh, I was just, uh...
in the neighborhood.

[Fiona] You have to press
the button for me to hear you.

Uh, hey.

Listen, I hope I didn't make
things weird for you before.

Anyway, uh...
my boss said that, um...

Oh. So, I guess...

Alright.

[Announcer] And now, to throw
out the ceremonial first pitch,

please give an Everson
Small Stallions welcome

to Officer Thumbs!

[crowd cheers]

[crowd cheering]

[Announcer] ...and Guest.

Woo!

Listen to that.
I told you it'd be incredible.

There's nothing like
the validation

of random strangers.

So, I thought this was
gonna be lame,

and definitely not
worth $1,350.

But I have goosebumps!

I wouldn't be here
without you, partner.

Wargo! Listen, bro.

Yeah, I'm probably just gonna
lob it today.

I'm not gonna bring my heat.

Alright. Now, listen.

Don't let the crowd amp you
too much.

Nice and easy. Alright.

Don't need that.

No, you're supposed
to start over there.

Victoria, what-

[Victoria grunts]

[crowd cheers]

[laughs]
Whoo!

[crowd chanting]
Guest, guest, guest!

Yeah!

What the hell was that?

I played cricket growing up.

Rainbow.

I can't rainbow it now.
Now I gotta bring the heat.

[crowd cheering]

[crowd cheering]

Thumbs!

[ball thuds]

[crowd gasps]

[gasps]

Wargo?
Medic! We need a medic!

[crowd booing]

[Victoria] Patel,
what did you do?

Wargo?

I gotta say, I never thought
that dropping off a binder

full of euthanasia stats
would lead to sex.

Don't take this
the wrong way, but...

I don't know why
I just did that.

Let's be honest.

The countdown clock started
after you saw me

in those high-performance
shorts.

Everything we did was in spite
of those shorts.

[whispers] How dare you.

You're obviously not
my usual type.

I don't know, it was sort of...
Sort of a vibe.

- Yes!
- Yes.

- Yes.
- Yes.

There's a vibe.

There was a vibe.
There is a vibe.

Maybe that's something,
if it comes up

in casual conversation,
you could share.

Oh... I think we should maybe,

definitely keep this
on the down low.

You wanna hide your
working class funboy?

I don't want to make...
things... weird,

but would you mind just...
signing something?

What? Oh.
A non-disclosure agreement?

Think I'm gonna sell our story
to some weird gossip site?

Animal control officer wrestles
lifestyle shark to completion.

Twice.

I don't even know
your last name.

- Okay.
- Okay.

Alright.

There you go.

You forgot to initial.

Oh. Yes.

A sexy end...

Thank you.

...to a sexy evening.

It was.

But before I go... here.

If you could take
a look at this.

My boss worked
really hard on it.

Please don't put that
on the bed.

I'll never be able
to get it off.

I'll sum it up for you.

People suck.
Animals are awesome.

They deserve our protection.

I'll think about it.

Thank you.

Uh... get back here.

Oh, you know, usually
I get an hour break.

Taking advantage of
the working man again?

Again.

Everyone, I have amazing news.

Fiona called me back,
and she's joining the board.

[cheers]

Yay!

Oh, and she wanted me to
tell the team that she thinks...

uh... animals are awesome and
they deserve our protection.

So, it's not really the most
profound statement, but...

It's kinda profound.

I had a feeling it would
all work out.

Frank, Fiona told me that
you stopped by her gate

and almost broke
her mail slot.

Really? Uh... those are
her words?

Yeah. Why are you blushing?

I mean, you went to her home?
That's not cool.

Yeah, it's not cool, and I
actually had no idea about it.

So, permission to be untethered
from my partner.

I was only there to give her
a large package

which was warmly received.

Ew.

The binder.

Honestly, thank God you did,
because I'm sure

that she read it, and that's
what sealed the deal.

Way to go, Emily.

And again, I'm very sorry
for my partner's behavior.

You don't need to apologize.
I played my part.

The part of the Night Stalker.

Boss saved you on
this one, Frank.

You gotta admit it.

Hey, does this mean that we
are officially off the hook?

You are in the clear.

Yes! Yes.

For now.

For... for now. Wait. Wait.

Sorry, Emily.
How long will that be?

Emily, how long is now?

I can't believe you went
to her house.

What happened?

I really can't talk about it.

It's fine.

I'm sure I can read all about
it in the restraining order.

Just us.

I'm the reason Fiona
joined the board.

And I literally charmed
her pants off.

Oh!

Oh, I forgot you had
an ear infection.

I'll get you some drops.

Whew!

Well, my sponsors said they
were pulling their endorsement.

I didn't think they
would be so literal.

Officer Thumbs burnt
fast and hot.

Just like the pitch Patel
threw in the face

of the number one prospect
of the Small Stallions.

You guys wanna play
a fun game?

Guess how many followers
I lost on Insta?

No. Dude, don't do this
to yourself.

All of them!
Even the bots.

So, fake humans in Europe
hate me now too.

[phone ringing]

Oh, no. It's the team calling.
Do you think Wargo died?

Hey, Deb. How's our guy doing?

[exhales]

Yeah, girl. I see you too.

Oh! ICU.

Patel...

I... no, I... yeah, I know
exactly what that means... Deb.

So, what do you think?
You think our guy's gonna

get transferred to
the regular CU?

Hey, quick pivot.

Do you think there's any way

I could get ahold of that
first pitch ball?

Hmm?

?

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