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1
00:00:03,169 --> 00:00:05,537
- Which brings us to 2005.
2
00:00:05,539 --> 00:00:08,040
The circle park renovation
was complete,
3
00:00:08,042 --> 00:00:10,676
And a young man
named thomas haverford
4
00:00:10,678 --> 00:00:13,012
Was still two years away
from getting hired.
5
00:00:13,014 --> 00:00:15,748
- Perhaps we could skip ahead
and just hit the highlights?
6
00:00:15,750 --> 00:00:18,250
- I mean, I planned
a comprehensive retrospective,
7
00:00:18,252 --> 00:00:20,386
But I guess I can just focus
on the really important moments.
8
00:00:20,388 --> 00:00:23,455
Ah! The debate about getting
a pod-based coffee machine.
9
00:00:26,393 --> 00:00:29,028
And it goes a little something
like thi--
10
00:00:29,030 --> 00:00:30,396
- Can't we just quickly
shake hands,
11
00:00:30,398 --> 00:00:31,530
Pretend we like each other,
12
00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:33,132
And get out of here?
- I'm all for that.
13
00:00:33,134 --> 00:00:35,567
- No, April, ron,
we need to celebrate everything
14
00:00:35,569 --> 00:00:37,202
That we've done together
as a group.
15
00:00:37,204 --> 00:00:38,670
This is our last day here!
16
00:00:38,672 --> 00:00:41,740
Who knows when we'll all be
together like this again?
17
00:00:41,742 --> 00:00:43,442
- Excuse me.
Hi.
18
00:00:43,444 --> 00:00:44,777
There's a swing in a park
19
00:00:44,779 --> 00:00:47,279
Near my house that's been broken
for about three months.
20
00:00:47,281 --> 00:00:49,081
Is it possible
to get that fixed?
21
00:00:49,083 --> 00:00:52,818
- Anything is possible
if you follow your dreams.
22
00:00:52,820 --> 00:00:54,153
Johnny karate.
23
00:00:54,155 --> 00:00:56,221
- Except getting a swing fixed.
24
00:00:56,223 --> 00:00:57,656
None of us
actually work here anymore.
25
00:00:57,658 --> 00:00:59,591
Come back in two hours
when the office is open.
26
00:00:59,593 --> 00:01:01,760
- Thank you.
- Wait.
27
00:01:01,762 --> 00:01:04,329
Actually, sir, we can help.
28
00:01:07,667 --> 00:01:09,501
Helping people was our job.
29
00:01:09,503 --> 00:01:10,803
Forget about these old stories.
30
00:01:10,805 --> 00:01:12,171
Let's make a new one.
31
00:01:12,173 --> 00:01:13,672
Let's fix a swing.
32
00:01:13,674 --> 00:01:15,407
One last ride
for the parks and rec gang.
33
00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:16,408
Who's in?
34
00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:17,609
All: Yeah.
35
00:01:17,611 --> 00:01:19,645
- ♪ the vote
was four to three ♪
36
00:01:19,647 --> 00:01:21,480
♪ donna said to get rid of me ♪
37
00:01:21,482 --> 00:01:22,848
♪ but ron was suspicious ♪
38
00:01:22,850 --> 00:01:25,317
♪ 'cause my coffee
was delicious ♪
39
00:01:25,319 --> 00:01:27,386
- Come on, garry,
you're the mayor now.
40
00:01:27,388 --> 00:01:29,822
Have some dignity.
41
00:01:29,824 --> 00:01:32,825
[triumphant music]
42
00:01:32,827 --> 00:01:40,866
♪ ♪
43
00:01:50,243 --> 00:01:52,478
- Okay, so what
is our first step
44
00:01:52,480 --> 00:01:54,279
On our quest to help this man?
45
00:01:54,281 --> 00:01:55,481
Does anyone remember?
46
00:01:55,483 --> 00:01:58,183
- A parks and recreation
equipment requisition form.
47
00:01:58,185 --> 00:02:00,152
- Correct.
Five points for hufflepuff.
48
00:02:00,154 --> 00:02:01,587
- Well,
everything's paperless now,
49
00:02:01,589 --> 00:02:04,456
And none of us has a log-in,
so can't access the computers.
50
00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:05,791
- Hang on.
51
00:02:05,793 --> 00:02:08,727
I have one right here,
thanks to leslie's scrapbook,
52
00:02:08,729 --> 00:02:11,296
"thanks form the memories!"
53
00:02:11,298 --> 00:02:13,565
- Oh, I knew those scrapbooks
were gonna come in handy.
54
00:02:13,567 --> 00:02:16,802
You came through
like you always do.
55
00:02:16,804 --> 00:02:18,437
God, I'm gonna miss you.
56
00:02:18,439 --> 00:02:20,739
Your confidence,
your joie de vivre,
57
00:02:20,741 --> 00:02:23,175
That crazy story about you
getting kicked out of en vogue.
58
00:02:23,177 --> 00:02:25,410
- Technically I kicked them out.
59
00:02:25,412 --> 00:02:26,578
- When do you leave for seattle?
60
00:02:26,580 --> 00:02:28,380
- As soon as I get
my local real estate license.
61
00:02:28,382 --> 00:02:30,516
I'm married to a teacher,
and I love the man,
62
00:02:30,518 --> 00:02:32,818
But I also love diamond watches.
63
00:02:32,820 --> 00:02:34,419
- Well, whatever happens,
64
00:02:34,421 --> 00:02:38,857
I know you are gonna live
an exciting and full life.
65
00:02:42,495 --> 00:02:47,366
- 3,400 square feet,
a beautiful view of puget sound,
66
00:02:47,368 --> 00:02:51,170
You can watch them build
the new space haystack
67
00:02:51,172 --> 00:02:52,437
Around the space needle.
68
00:02:52,439 --> 00:02:53,505
- Wow.
69
00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:55,374
I-I can hardly see
the needle anymore.
70
00:02:55,376 --> 00:02:56,642
- I know.
It's kind of the point.
71
00:02:56,644 --> 00:03:00,245
So what are we thinking?
72
00:03:00,247 --> 00:03:01,580
- Wow.
73
00:03:01,582 --> 00:03:03,549
It sold in two hours?
74
00:03:03,551 --> 00:03:06,185
- You cannot beat
the seattle real estate market.
75
00:03:06,187 --> 00:03:07,920
I think it's all that coffee
and legal marijuana
76
00:03:07,922 --> 00:03:10,656
Has people wanting to buy houses
quickly and irrationally.
77
00:03:10,658 --> 00:03:11,723
- Mm.
78
00:03:11,725 --> 00:03:13,425
- But the giant commission check
79
00:03:13,427 --> 00:03:16,962
Has me thinking
about donna-joe adventure quest.
80
00:03:16,964 --> 00:03:18,830
- Ooh, where are we going?
81
00:03:18,832 --> 00:03:20,566
Well, it can't beat last year.
82
00:03:20,568 --> 00:03:22,935
I mean, middle korea,
so beautiful.
83
00:03:22,937 --> 00:03:24,369
- Here's my idea.
84
00:03:24,371 --> 00:03:25,637
The amazon.
- Oh.
85
00:03:25,639 --> 00:03:28,207
- Three weeks of the best
and most expensive places
86
00:03:28,209 --> 00:03:30,209
South america has to offer.
87
00:03:30,211 --> 00:03:32,878
Honestly, with the way
work is going,
88
00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:34,646
I just need this right now.
89
00:03:34,648 --> 00:03:38,750
The school cut the math club
and math.
90
00:03:38,752 --> 00:03:40,752
They just don't teach math
anymore.
91
00:03:40,754 --> 00:03:43,722
- Aw, my poor little
do-gooder teacher baby.
92
00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:46,425
Why don't we cuddle up
on the couch, watch a movie,
93
00:03:46,427 --> 00:03:49,294
And then maybe later
I'll wear that little red thing?
94
00:03:49,296 --> 00:03:50,629
- Yes.
The red thing.
95
00:03:50,631 --> 00:03:52,764
Here, let me get this.
96
00:03:55,401 --> 00:03:56,969
[beep]
97
00:03:56,971 --> 00:03:59,638
- Call satan's niece.
98
00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:01,873
- Hey, what do you want?
99
00:04:01,875 --> 00:04:05,410
- And this is me dj-ing
a boat party in venezuela,
100
00:04:05,412 --> 00:04:07,412
Kind of reminded me of the
two weeks you and I spent there.
101
00:04:07,414 --> 00:04:08,614
- Oh, yeah, that happened.
102
00:04:08,616 --> 00:04:10,616
- Yeah, it did.
- April.
103
00:04:10,618 --> 00:04:11,917
What are you doing here?
104
00:04:11,919 --> 00:04:14,519
- Babe, have a seat.
- What's going on?
105
00:04:14,521 --> 00:04:16,722
- Recently I was thinking
for the millionth time
106
00:04:16,724 --> 00:04:18,457
How lucky
I am to have found you,
107
00:04:18,459 --> 00:04:22,861
So I've decided
to treat yo' self.
108
00:04:22,863 --> 00:04:26,331
- You're gonna buy me
a bunch of leather handbags?
109
00:04:26,333 --> 00:04:28,333
- Donna is going
to take some of the money
110
00:04:28,335 --> 00:04:29,835
You usually use on your trips
111
00:04:29,837 --> 00:04:31,570
And establish
an education program
112
00:04:31,572 --> 00:04:33,038
Through the foundation
I work for.
113
00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:35,474
- It's called "teach yo' self,"
and you and the other teachers
114
00:04:35,476 --> 00:04:37,442
Will get money
for after-school programs,
115
00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:40,746
For music, art, math,
whatever you want.
116
00:04:40,748 --> 00:04:45,517
- Baby, this is really generous,
but I love our trips,
117
00:04:45,519 --> 00:04:47,719
And honestly it's your money.
118
00:04:47,721 --> 00:04:49,321
You should spend it
how you want.
119
00:04:49,323 --> 00:04:50,589
- This is what I want.
120
00:04:50,591 --> 00:04:52,457
I've had a lot of adventures.
121
00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:55,460
I single-handedly started
that doorknockers earring trend.
122
00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:57,462
I came in ninth
in Italy's got talent.
123
00:04:57,464 --> 00:04:59,731
- Yeah.
- I served on a nascar pit crew.
124
00:04:59,733 --> 00:05:05,003
I want a new kind of adventure,
and I want to take it with you.
125
00:05:05,005 --> 00:05:09,574
- Okay, I feel like it's time
for me to get out of here.
126
00:05:09,576 --> 00:05:11,009
[leslie sighs]
127
00:05:11,011 --> 00:05:12,077
- What is this mess?
128
00:05:12,079 --> 00:05:13,712
Why are you all in my office?
129
00:05:13,714 --> 00:05:16,581
- We are on one last mission
to help the people of pawnee.
130
00:05:16,583 --> 00:05:18,984
- Craig, can you sign
the requisition form?
131
00:05:18,986 --> 00:05:20,352
It'd speed things up.
132
00:05:20,354 --> 00:05:22,354
- You know, craig,
when I first met you, I thought,
133
00:05:22,356 --> 00:05:24,022
"there's a man
who loves his job."
134
00:05:24,024 --> 00:05:26,958
And then I thought,
"oh, wow, he's intense."
135
00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:29,895
And then I thought,
"oh, no, he's insane.
136
00:05:29,897 --> 00:05:32,331
That person is psychotic,
and I need to call the police."
137
00:05:32,333 --> 00:05:34,499
- Yeah, that's usually the way
it goes.
138
00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:37,569
- But I just think
you've come so far,
139
00:05:37,571 --> 00:05:39,671
And I'm so glad
that we are leaving
140
00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:43,542
The parks department
in your hands.
141
00:05:43,544 --> 00:05:46,945
- ♪ funny, though it's true ♪
142
00:05:46,947 --> 00:05:50,615
♪ those silly things you do ♪
143
00:05:50,617 --> 00:05:55,587
♪ they only bring me closer ♪
144
00:05:55,589 --> 00:06:00,125
♪ to you ♪
145
00:06:00,127 --> 00:06:03,562
[applause]
146
00:06:03,564 --> 00:06:04,830
- Nice crooning, buddy.
147
00:06:04,832 --> 00:06:07,733
The gentleman
over by the bar there
148
00:06:07,735 --> 00:06:09,134
Sent you over
this glass of wine
149
00:06:09,136 --> 00:06:11,670
And his business card.
150
00:06:13,506 --> 00:06:16,641
Okay, so as you all know,
tom's bistro...
151
00:06:16,643 --> 00:06:19,544
- Okay, fine.
152
00:06:19,546 --> 00:06:21,446
- We are gathered here today
153
00:06:21,448 --> 00:06:24,816
To join craig middlebrooks
and typhoon montalban
154
00:06:24,818 --> 00:06:26,084
In holy matrimony.
155
00:06:26,086 --> 00:06:28,019
- I don't know about this.
I'm very scared.
156
00:06:28,021 --> 00:06:29,855
- Oh, just relax,
you nervous nelly.
157
00:06:29,857 --> 00:06:30,856
- You're right.
158
00:06:30,858 --> 00:06:32,424
We love each other,
159
00:06:32,426 --> 00:06:34,659
And the tax break
is substantial.
160
00:06:37,597 --> 00:06:39,731
- Good luck, you two.
161
00:06:43,069 --> 00:06:47,472
- Typhoon, my love,
happy anniversary.
162
00:06:47,474 --> 00:06:48,940
Do you have any regrets?
163
00:06:48,942 --> 00:06:51,443
- Not one.
Not a single one.
164
00:06:51,445 --> 00:06:52,644
Do you have any regrets?
165
00:06:52,646 --> 00:06:54,613
- Are you kidding?
Thousands.
166
00:06:54,615 --> 00:06:56,748
Most recently this trout!
167
00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:58,617
- [chuckles]
168
00:06:58,619 --> 00:07:01,586
- Okay, April and andy,
I need to file this.
169
00:07:01,588 --> 00:07:04,022
Would anyone like to accompany
me to the fourth floor?
170
00:07:04,024 --> 00:07:05,757
- One last journey
to the weirdest place on earth?
171
00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:08,126
- We--we're just taking
the elevator.
172
00:07:08,128 --> 00:07:09,728
- I get to push buttons.
I called it.
173
00:07:09,730 --> 00:07:10,729
- Oh--
174
00:07:10,731 --> 00:07:12,097
- He called it.
- Yeah, I know, I heard.
175
00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:16,768
- Ethel beavers,
we need this filed, please.
176
00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:18,637
- We've gone digital.
177
00:07:18,639 --> 00:07:20,772
Get with the times,
you luddite.
178
00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:22,607
- Man,
of all the places in pawnee,
179
00:07:22,609 --> 00:07:24,476
I'm gonna miss the fourth floor
the most.
180
00:07:24,478 --> 00:07:28,480
The disturbing murals,
the ominous lighting...
181
00:07:28,482 --> 00:07:29,681
The creepy people.
182
00:07:29,683 --> 00:07:32,717
- I'm gonna miss the food
in pawnee.
183
00:07:32,719 --> 00:07:35,620
Taco bell, kfc, pizza hut,
184
00:07:35,622 --> 00:07:37,756
And most of all,
I'm gonna miss you, leslie.
185
00:07:37,758 --> 00:07:39,791
- Aw, andy,
all of those things,
186
00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:43,762
Including me, will still
be with you in washington.
187
00:07:43,764 --> 00:07:45,197
- That is a beautiful sentiment.
188
00:07:45,199 --> 00:07:47,165
- It--I just want to say
189
00:07:47,167 --> 00:07:50,502
That we are about to embark
on an amazing adventure,
190
00:07:50,504 --> 00:07:52,471
And whatever happens,
191
00:07:52,473 --> 00:07:55,507
Just know that ben and I
are always there for you.
192
00:07:57,076 --> 00:07:59,711
[softly grunting]
193
00:07:59,713 --> 00:08:01,780
- Agent macklin, I need you.
194
00:08:01,782 --> 00:08:03,148
Some thieves
are trying to steal
195
00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:04,950
The legendary
snakehole sapphire.
196
00:08:04,952 --> 00:08:06,918
- What the--
no!
197
00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:08,620
That sapphire has the power
to activate
198
00:08:08,622 --> 00:08:10,522
The cuban missile crisis.
199
00:08:10,524 --> 00:08:13,525
- Damn it, macklin!
I love it when you take charge.
200
00:08:13,527 --> 00:08:16,161
Make love to me, you fool,
you animal!
201
00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:18,230
[doorbell rings]
- [grunts]
202
00:08:18,232 --> 00:08:20,799
Okay, rain-check that,
all right?
203
00:08:20,801 --> 00:08:23,068
They're here.
204
00:08:23,070 --> 00:08:24,669
All: Trick or treat!
205
00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:26,771
- Oh!
Look at them!
206
00:08:26,773 --> 00:08:28,573
Here you go,
you little monsters.
207
00:08:28,575 --> 00:08:30,709
I love this.
You guys are the best.
208
00:08:30,711 --> 00:08:32,777
[door closes]
- my love, we have to go.
209
00:08:32,779 --> 00:08:34,980
Just put all the candy in a bowl
or something.
210
00:08:34,982 --> 00:08:36,648
What's wrong?
211
00:08:36,650 --> 00:08:38,583
Did you eat all the candy?
- No.
212
00:08:38,585 --> 00:08:39,618
- Did you?
- Yes.
213
00:08:39,620 --> 00:08:40,785
But that's not what's wrong.
214
00:08:40,787 --> 00:08:44,756
It's just, seeing all those kids
out there...
215
00:08:44,758 --> 00:08:47,893
Babe...
216
00:08:47,895 --> 00:08:49,995
I want to put a babe
in you, babe.
217
00:08:49,997 --> 00:08:52,531
- Andy, you know
where I stand on this.
218
00:08:52,533 --> 00:08:54,900
Yes, I would love
all the awesome stuff
219
00:08:54,902 --> 00:08:55,967
My body would go through.
220
00:08:55,969 --> 00:08:57,936
I mean,
if all it meant was puking
221
00:08:57,938 --> 00:09:00,939
And getting weird stretch marks
and veins everywhere,
222
00:09:00,941 --> 00:09:02,240
Then sign me up.
223
00:09:02,242 --> 00:09:05,277
But at the end, we've brought
a child into the world.
224
00:09:05,279 --> 00:09:06,878
That's disgusting.
- No.
225
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:08,046
They wipe all
of the disgusting stuff
226
00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:10,782
Off of it immediately.
227
00:09:10,784 --> 00:09:11,883
- We're gonna be late
for dinner.
228
00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:14,886
- Okay.
- Let's go.
229
00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:15,987
Hey.
- Come on in.
230
00:09:15,989 --> 00:09:18,723
- Hey, always nice to see
janet snakehole
231
00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:20,692
And burt macklin in the mix.
232
00:09:20,694 --> 00:09:21,826
- What are you guys dressed as?
233
00:09:21,828 --> 00:09:25,630
- Oh, I'm sandra dee o'connor.
Get it?
234
00:09:25,632 --> 00:09:27,999
Sandra dee
plus sandra day o'connor?
235
00:09:28,001 --> 00:09:30,168
- Who's sandra dee?
- Who's sandra day o'connor?
236
00:09:30,170 --> 00:09:31,703
- Forget it.
237
00:09:31,705 --> 00:09:34,306
- And I am the lamplighter,
238
00:09:34,308 --> 00:09:36,808
A character
from my new board game sequel,
239
00:09:36,810 --> 00:09:39,778
"cones of dunshire:
Winds of tremorrah."
240
00:09:39,780 --> 00:09:44,249
Gameplay magazine called it
"punishingly intricate."
241
00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:47,652
I want to say hi and wrestle
all three of them at once.
242
00:09:47,654 --> 00:09:50,155
- Oh, they're trick-or-treating
in georgetown with some friends.
243
00:09:50,157 --> 00:09:53,291
It's just us grown-ups tonight,
no kids at all.
244
00:09:59,231 --> 00:10:03,768
Hey, andy, why don't you
give me a hand in the kitchen?
245
00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:06,037
- So what do you need
a hand with?
246
00:10:06,039 --> 00:10:09,608
- Oh, no, I just thought
you might want to talk.
247
00:10:09,610 --> 00:10:13,044
- Whoa.
Dude, that's really slick.
248
00:10:13,046 --> 00:10:16,748
Oh, man, that's some
secret agent stuff right there.
249
00:10:16,750 --> 00:10:18,917
- So April's still
on the fence about kids, huh?
250
00:10:18,919 --> 00:10:21,186
- Yeah,
and I'm freaking out, man.
251
00:10:21,188 --> 00:10:23,054
I want kids so bad.
252
00:10:23,056 --> 00:10:24,990
You know,
yesterday I was at the park,
253
00:10:24,992 --> 00:10:26,958
And I saw this group
of eight-year-olds laughing,
254
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:28,927
Playing, having a good time.
255
00:10:28,929 --> 00:10:31,062
I almost started crying.
256
00:10:31,064 --> 00:10:32,631
Granted, I'd just face-planted
on my rollerblades.
257
00:10:32,633 --> 00:10:33,999
That's what
they were laughing at.
258
00:10:34,001 --> 00:10:35,967
- Sure.
259
00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:38,303
- All right, go ahead.
- What?
260
00:10:38,305 --> 00:10:40,872
- You're gonna lecture me about
how andy and I should have kids.
261
00:10:40,874 --> 00:10:42,207
You're gonna be like,
"they're so great.
262
00:10:42,209 --> 00:10:44,342
"they change your life,
and yes, they drive you nuts,
263
00:10:44,344 --> 00:10:46,878
"but it's all worth it
for the beauty and the majesty
264
00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:48,780
"and the glory of their little
faces in the morning.
265
00:10:48,782 --> 00:10:50,048
Blah, blah, blah, and barf."
266
00:10:50,050 --> 00:10:51,316
You know why it's so unfair?
267
00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:52,917
Because you guys got so lucky.
268
00:10:52,919 --> 00:10:55,086
You had sex one time,
and you had three kids,
269
00:10:55,088 --> 00:10:58,189
And they're all, like,
smart and great and healthy,
270
00:10:58,191 --> 00:10:59,991
And now your lives are perfect.
271
00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:01,393
But our life
is pretty perfect already.
272
00:11:01,395 --> 00:11:03,995
And you know what, kids act
the opposite of their parents.
273
00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:05,330
That's why your kids
are so cool.
274
00:11:05,332 --> 00:11:06,731
But andy and I are cool already,
275
00:11:06,733 --> 00:11:08,800
So our kids will be,
like, really lame and weird.
276
00:11:08,802 --> 00:11:10,935
I'm sorry.
I just don't know what to do.
277
00:11:10,937 --> 00:11:13,738
Please tell me what to do.
What do I do?
278
00:11:13,740 --> 00:11:16,074
- It's not about trying
to make your life perfect.
279
00:11:16,076 --> 00:11:18,810
Nobody's lives are perfect.
280
00:11:18,812 --> 00:11:23,014
You have kids
because you and andy are a team
281
00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:25,016
And you want to bring in
some new team members.
282
00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:27,185
- So you think we should?
283
00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:28,787
- I don't know
if you should have kids.
284
00:11:28,789 --> 00:11:30,055
I really don't.
285
00:11:30,057 --> 00:11:33,792
But I do like your team.
286
00:11:33,794 --> 00:11:37,362
- All right, ms. Ludgate,
we're getting close.
287
00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:39,097
- Babe, you look
more beautiful right now
288
00:11:39,099 --> 00:11:40,732
Than I have ever seen you.
289
00:11:40,734 --> 00:11:42,000
- Wow.
290
00:11:42,002 --> 00:11:44,903
Just your luck that you're going
into labor on Halloween.
291
00:11:44,905 --> 00:11:47,238
Can I get a warm towel
to get that makeup off?
292
00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:50,008
- No! I want it on!
That's the whole point.
293
00:11:50,010 --> 00:11:52,210
I put the makeup on
after I went into labor.
294
00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:53,912
- Whatever blows your skirt up.
295
00:11:53,914 --> 00:11:56,214
Okay, you ready to push?
296
00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:58,850
- Wait, no.
Babe, my birth mix.
297
00:11:58,852 --> 00:12:01,086
[monster mash plays]
- ♪ he did the mash ♪
298
00:12:01,088 --> 00:12:03,088
- Here comes a contraction.
Are you ready?
299
00:12:03,090 --> 00:12:04,823
- Okay, I'm ready.
Let's do this.
300
00:12:04,825 --> 00:12:07,158
- ♪ it was a graveyard smash ♪
- ♪ he did the mash ♪
301
00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:08,993
- ♪ it caught on in a flash ♪
302
00:12:08,995 --> 00:12:10,795
- ♪ he did the mash ♪
303
00:12:10,797 --> 00:12:12,464
♪ he did the monster mash ♪
304
00:12:12,466 --> 00:12:16,067
♪ from my laboratory
in the castle east ♪
305
00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:17,936
- Burt macklin junior?
306
00:12:17,938 --> 00:12:19,971
- Mm, we need a Halloween angle.
307
00:12:19,973 --> 00:12:24,509
How about...
Demon spawn baby satan dwyer?
308
00:12:24,511 --> 00:12:26,144
- Oh, I like that.
Yeah.
309
00:12:26,146 --> 00:12:28,179
Or maybe
310
00:12:28,181 --> 00:12:33,818
Burt snakehole ludgate
karate dracula macklin
311
00:12:33,820 --> 00:12:35,086
Demon jack-o-lantern dwyer?
312
00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:37,088
We call him "jack"
for short.
313
00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:38,389
- Hey. Hi.
314
00:12:38,391 --> 00:12:39,824
Oh, I want to scream,
315
00:12:39,826 --> 00:12:41,326
But I don't want
to wake up my godchild.
316
00:12:41,328 --> 00:12:42,494
I'm assuming
it's my godchild, right?
317
00:12:42,496 --> 00:12:44,362
We can talk about it later.
- Congrats, guys.
318
00:12:44,364 --> 00:12:46,231
I know it came
unexpectedly early,
319
00:12:46,233 --> 00:12:47,499
But pretty cool he was born
in pawnee.
320
00:12:47,501 --> 00:12:49,000
Where do I put these?
321
00:12:49,002 --> 00:12:50,769
I have so many presents,
it's weird.
322
00:12:50,771 --> 00:12:54,439
- [whispers] yes!
Oh, for the baby?
323
00:12:54,441 --> 00:12:56,808
Just put them over there.
324
00:12:56,810 --> 00:12:58,943
- What's his name?
- Jack.
325
00:12:58,945 --> 00:13:02,046
- [exhales deeply]
oh, that's good.
326
00:13:02,048 --> 00:13:04,816
Welcome to the team,
little guy.
327
00:13:10,089 --> 00:13:12,090
- Take this down to maintenance.
328
00:13:12,092 --> 00:13:13,458
- I know just where to take it,
ethel,
329
00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:15,794
And I know just the person
who should accompany me.
330
00:13:15,796 --> 00:13:17,128
- I'm a little busy right now.
331
00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:18,496
- Not you, kyle.
332
00:13:18,498 --> 00:13:20,365
How many times
did you and I
333
00:13:20,367 --> 00:13:23,268
Deliver a form to maintenance
just like this?
334
00:13:23,270 --> 00:13:25,470
Oh, so many great conversations,
335
00:13:25,472 --> 00:13:27,872
Bonding and mentoring moments.
336
00:13:27,874 --> 00:13:33,178
It seems only right that we make
this journey one final time.
337
00:13:33,180 --> 00:13:34,546
- What was that, boo-boo?
- Nothing.
338
00:13:34,548 --> 00:13:36,281
- Oh!
339
00:13:36,283 --> 00:13:39,818
Tommy-t and sexy lexy knope.
340
00:13:39,820 --> 00:13:42,053
Ooh, what are
you two bad larrys up to?
341
00:13:42,055 --> 00:13:43,922
- Well, this is our last day
in pawnee,
342
00:13:43,924 --> 00:13:46,057
And we have one last problem
to fix.
343
00:13:46,059 --> 00:13:47,525
- Hold up.
You're leaving?
344
00:13:47,527 --> 00:13:48,827
For truth?
345
00:13:48,829 --> 00:13:51,429
I am gonna miss you so much.
346
00:13:51,431 --> 00:13:53,131
- What's going on?
You're not injured?
347
00:13:53,133 --> 00:13:54,866
- Uh, yeah, I'm injured.
348
00:13:54,868 --> 00:13:56,000
I got a terminal case of
349
00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:58,436
"get me to the front of the line
at six flags"!
350
00:13:58,438 --> 00:14:00,572
Both: Shaaa-boosh!
351
00:14:00,574 --> 00:14:03,374
- It's a winter wonderland.
352
00:14:03,376 --> 00:14:06,311
I'm gonna be so sad
to see you go.
353
00:14:06,313 --> 00:14:09,514
Will you do me
one final kindness?
354
00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:13,218
Will you pretend to be my wife
for an insurance scam,
355
00:14:13,220 --> 00:14:16,221
But then we
fall in love for real?
356
00:14:16,223 --> 00:14:17,956
Also, can I have a pair
of your gym socks?
357
00:14:17,958 --> 00:14:19,357
No, wait,
it's not for anything weird.
358
00:14:19,359 --> 00:14:21,092
It's just a fetish I have.
359
00:14:21,094 --> 00:14:22,627
- Jean-ralphio...
- Yeah.
360
00:14:22,629 --> 00:14:26,130
- Although I truly hope
that I never see you again,
361
00:14:26,132 --> 00:14:31,336
I do wish you
a long and happy life.
362
00:14:31,338 --> 00:14:35,206
- Today, we say good-bye
to jean-ralphio saperstein.
363
00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:37,976
As per his last will
and testament,
364
00:14:37,978 --> 00:14:40,311
We will now listen
to his favorite song,
365
00:14:40,313 --> 00:14:44,249
Bend over by lil jon,
featuring tyga.
366
00:14:44,251 --> 00:14:46,985
- ♪ bend ova, make your knees
touch your elbows ♪
367
00:14:46,987 --> 00:14:49,087
♪ ♪
368
00:14:49,089 --> 00:14:51,422
♪ bend ova, make your knees
touch your elbows ♪
369
00:14:54,526 --> 00:14:55,894
- Ooh, okay.
370
00:14:55,896 --> 00:14:58,363
Do you have the insurance money?
- No doubt.
371
00:14:58,365 --> 00:14:59,998
No doubt.
Let's hit it, bro.
372
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:02,267
- Time to start
a casino in...
373
00:15:02,269 --> 00:15:05,637
♪ tajikistan ♪
- ♪ aaaaan ♪
374
00:15:05,639 --> 00:15:07,405
[deep voice]
♪ tajikistan ♪
375
00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:09,107
- ♪ talking 'bout tajiki... ♪
376
00:15:09,109 --> 00:15:10,408
Both: Stan!
377
00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:11,509
- Jean-ralphio?
378
00:15:11,511 --> 00:15:14,279
- Go! Tajikistan is off!
- Go, go, go, go!
379
00:15:14,281 --> 00:15:17,248
- Tajikistan is off!
Tajikistan is off!
380
00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:20,985
- So...Tom and I
have a swing to fix.
381
00:15:20,987 --> 00:15:23,254
Let's go.
382
00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:27,525
- Leslie,
I've always loved you.
383
00:15:27,527 --> 00:15:29,594
- I know.
384
00:15:34,366 --> 00:15:36,034
- Oh, man!
385
00:15:36,036 --> 00:15:37,969
I forgot that maintenance
was closed on fridays.
386
00:15:37,971 --> 00:15:39,170
- What would
our last ride be
387
00:15:39,172 --> 00:15:41,406
Without one more
bureaucratic snafu?
388
00:15:41,408 --> 00:15:47,378
- Can I just say, tom,
you have accomplished so much.
389
00:15:47,380 --> 00:15:50,248
You have come so far.
Now you're so successful.
390
00:15:50,250 --> 00:15:51,983
- Don't forget well-dressed.
- Yes.
391
00:15:51,985 --> 00:15:53,117
And well-dressed.
392
00:15:53,119 --> 00:15:55,553
I am so very proud of you.
393
00:15:55,555 --> 00:15:57,255
- Thanks, leslie.
394
00:15:57,257 --> 00:15:58,990
I'm proud of me too.
395
00:15:58,992 --> 00:16:00,258
Nice crooning, buddy.
396
00:16:00,260 --> 00:16:02,994
Uh, the gentleman
by the bar there
397
00:16:02,996 --> 00:16:04,395
Sent you over
this glass of wine...
398
00:16:04,397 --> 00:16:09,167
And his business card.
399
00:16:09,169 --> 00:16:12,403
Okay, so as you all know,
tom's bistro
400
00:16:12,405 --> 00:16:15,039
Has been presented with
a huge expansion opportunity.
401
00:16:16,408 --> 00:16:18,142
From my senior advisory board.
402
00:16:18,144 --> 00:16:19,744
So is this a good idea?
403
00:16:19,746 --> 00:16:22,513
Accounting nerd?
- I'm a congressman, tom.
404
00:16:22,515 --> 00:16:24,082
Can you at least call me "ben"?
405
00:16:24,084 --> 00:16:25,683
- No can do, accounting nerd.
406
00:16:25,685 --> 00:16:27,385
We all knew you
before you were a big shot.
407
00:16:27,387 --> 00:16:28,987
Let's keep the whining
to a minimum.
408
00:16:28,989 --> 00:16:31,122
- Well, there are always
gonna be risks
409
00:16:31,124 --> 00:16:33,992
When you open new restaurants,
but you've done your homework.
410
00:16:33,994 --> 00:16:36,094
All the numbers line up.
411
00:16:36,096 --> 00:16:37,395
Side note:
412
00:16:37,397 --> 00:16:41,532
I would again strongly recommend
adding calzones to the menu.
413
00:16:41,534 --> 00:16:44,035
- Ugh. The worst.
Ron?
414
00:16:44,037 --> 00:16:46,437
- It's a bold,
capitalistic gambit, son,
415
00:16:46,439 --> 00:16:48,606
But nothing ventured,
nothing gained.
416
00:16:48,608 --> 00:16:50,241
- Regal meagle?
417
00:16:50,243 --> 00:16:52,076
- Real estate is pretty cheap
right now.
418
00:16:52,078 --> 00:16:54,312
If you're gonna do it,
this is a good time.
419
00:16:54,314 --> 00:16:56,280
- Okay, I'm doing it.
420
00:16:56,282 --> 00:17:00,685
There's gonna be
20 tom's bistros across america.
421
00:17:00,687 --> 00:17:03,554
Look out, world,
tommy's about to blow up.
422
00:17:03,556 --> 00:17:04,555
[explosion]
423
00:17:04,557 --> 00:17:06,224
[english accent]
and blow up he did,
424
00:17:06,226 --> 00:17:08,059
But not in the good way.
425
00:17:08,061 --> 00:17:09,660
He lost everything.
426
00:17:09,662 --> 00:17:13,598
Today, tom haverford
is broke, destitute,
427
00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:16,167
And worst of all, swaggerless.
428
00:17:16,169 --> 00:17:17,802
- Tommy,
you got to stop watching this.
429
00:17:17,804 --> 00:17:19,670
- I can't tear myself away.
430
00:17:19,672 --> 00:17:21,372
It's a whole documentary
about my failures.
431
00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:23,508
- That you made.
432
00:17:23,510 --> 00:17:25,143
- I had to.
433
00:17:25,145 --> 00:17:28,046
I have to remember every tiny,
awful aspect of this.
434
00:17:28,048 --> 00:17:29,414
I lost everything, lucy--
435
00:17:29,416 --> 00:17:31,182
The franchises,
most of my money.
436
00:17:31,184 --> 00:17:33,151
I had to sell
my pocket square collection.
437
00:17:33,153 --> 00:17:35,286
What are people's eyes
gonna be drawn to?
438
00:17:35,288 --> 00:17:37,055
- Look, you had a tough break.
439
00:17:39,792 --> 00:17:40,792
Who could have predicted
that the country
440
00:17:40,794 --> 00:17:41,826
Would run out of beef?
441
00:17:41,828 --> 00:17:43,661
You just got to move on.
442
00:17:43,663 --> 00:17:44,796
- That's the problem, though.
443
00:17:44,798 --> 00:17:46,197
I've gone bust in the past,
444
00:17:46,199 --> 00:17:48,132
But it was because
I did something reckless.
445
00:17:48,134 --> 00:17:49,734
This time
I was smart and careful,
446
00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:50,835
And I still went broke.
447
00:17:50,837 --> 00:17:52,670
What do I do now?
448
00:17:52,672 --> 00:17:54,272
- Well,
you and I are gonna be fine,
449
00:17:54,274 --> 00:17:56,841
And you'll come up
with a new idea.
450
00:17:56,843 --> 00:17:59,844
You always do.
451
00:17:59,846 --> 00:18:02,313
- I once started
an entertainment company.
452
00:18:02,315 --> 00:18:04,482
It failed in four months.
453
00:18:04,484 --> 00:18:06,517
I opened
a clothing rental store.
454
00:18:06,519 --> 00:18:09,554
I built a restaurant empire.
455
00:18:09,556 --> 00:18:11,189
They all failed,
456
00:18:11,191 --> 00:18:15,193
But the story of america isn't
about second or third chances.
457
00:18:15,195 --> 00:18:21,199
It's about 4th, 5th,
6th, 20th, 50th chances.
458
00:18:21,201 --> 00:18:23,601
That's how long it took me
to get where I am today:
459
00:18:23,603 --> 00:18:25,603
Best-selling author of...
460
00:18:25,605 --> 00:18:28,806
Failure:An american success story.
461
00:18:28,808 --> 00:18:32,110
[applause]
462
00:18:36,748 --> 00:18:38,416
As you know
if you've read the book,
463
00:18:38,418 --> 00:18:42,553
I've outlined seven different
types of successful people.
464
00:18:42,555 --> 00:18:48,326
You can be an andy,
an April,
465
00:18:48,328 --> 00:18:51,863
A ben, a leslie,
466
00:18:51,865 --> 00:18:56,167
A ron, a donna,
467
00:18:56,169 --> 00:18:58,836
Or my personal favorite, a tom.
468
00:18:58,838 --> 00:19:01,906
But what do we definitely
not want to be?
469
00:19:01,908 --> 00:19:03,508
All: A garry!
470
00:19:03,510 --> 00:19:05,810
- That's right.
Do not be a garry.
471
00:19:05,812 --> 00:19:09,747
- Oh, he's talking about me!
[laughs]
472
00:19:09,749 --> 00:19:11,415
- Hey.
473
00:19:11,417 --> 00:19:13,684
- Hey, thanks so much
for coming, guys.
474
00:19:13,686 --> 00:19:14,719
- Are you kidding?
475
00:19:14,721 --> 00:19:16,387
Tom, this is incredible.
476
00:19:16,389 --> 00:19:18,689
A best-selling book,
a 40-city tour?
477
00:19:18,691 --> 00:19:20,258
- Well, I couldn't have
done it without you.
478
00:19:20,260 --> 00:19:21,859
- Well, the book's
called failure.
479
00:19:21,861 --> 00:19:23,728
I don't know how to take that.
- I'm serious.
480
00:19:23,730 --> 00:19:25,730
You guys
have always supported me.
481
00:19:25,732 --> 00:19:27,932
Here, I inscribed you a copy.
482
00:19:27,934 --> 00:19:29,567
- Oh.
483
00:19:29,569 --> 00:19:31,836
"when I think of success,
I think of you.
484
00:19:31,838 --> 00:19:33,838
"you are a true inspiration
to me.
485
00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:36,440
I love you,
tom haverford."
486
00:19:36,442 --> 00:19:39,443
- Oh, sorry, that's actually
for kendrick lamar.
487
00:19:39,445 --> 00:19:41,379
Here's yours.
488
00:19:41,381 --> 00:19:44,182
- "best wishes."
489
00:19:44,184 --> 00:19:45,683
- And I mean every word of it.
490
00:19:49,888 --> 00:19:51,923
- So how are we gonna
fix this swing?
491
00:19:51,925 --> 00:19:56,294
Have a rally, smash that door,
and do some looting?
492
00:19:56,296 --> 00:19:58,529
- Actually, I think
there's a simpler solution.
493
00:19:58,531 --> 00:20:02,800
We just need the help of
the most powerful man in pawnee.
494
00:20:02,802 --> 00:20:05,770
- Jim, how the heck are you?
Yeah, look.
495
00:20:05,772 --> 00:20:07,972
I hate to bother you, but I'm
here with my two best friends,
496
00:20:07,974 --> 00:20:09,740
Leslie knope
and tom haverford...
497
00:20:09,742 --> 00:20:11,442
- [laughs]
- shh!
498
00:20:11,444 --> 00:20:13,311
- And we need the first floor
maintenance room open.
499
00:20:13,313 --> 00:20:16,447
Mm. Okay, great, and best
to louise and the girls.
500
00:20:16,449 --> 00:20:17,882
Okay, bye-bye.
501
00:20:17,884 --> 00:20:20,251
You guys are all set.
- Thank you, mayor gergich.
502
00:20:20,253 --> 00:20:21,586
You really saved our butts.
503
00:20:21,588 --> 00:20:23,454
I am so happy
that you get to be mayor.
504
00:20:23,456 --> 00:20:24,589
Are you enjoying yourself?
505
00:20:24,591 --> 00:20:25,723
- Oh, are you kidding me?
506
00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:27,925
Leslie, I know
that this is purely ceremonial,
507
00:20:27,927 --> 00:20:29,694
And it'll be over
in just a couple of weeks,
508
00:20:29,696 --> 00:20:31,629
But I just don't know
how my life
509
00:20:31,631 --> 00:20:32,930
Could get any better than this.
510
00:20:32,932 --> 00:20:35,700
- Oh!
511
00:20:35,702 --> 00:20:38,936
- In a turn of events
both shocking and unexpected,
512
00:20:38,938 --> 00:20:42,640
Interim mayor garry gergich
was officially elected today,
513
00:20:42,642 --> 00:20:44,909
Thanks to a massive
write-in campaign.
514
00:20:44,911 --> 00:20:46,877
Mayor gergich,
what are your plans
515
00:20:46,879 --> 00:20:48,446
For your first actual term?
516
00:20:48,448 --> 00:20:49,647
- Oh, jeez, you know what?
517
00:20:49,649 --> 00:20:50,982
I have no idea, perd.
518
00:20:50,984 --> 00:20:52,917
I mean, this is so crazy.
519
00:20:52,919 --> 00:20:54,418
I just hope I do a good job,
520
00:20:54,420 --> 00:20:56,721
And I promise
I'm gonna try my best.
521
00:20:56,723 --> 00:21:00,324
And faithfully serve the people
of pawnee, indiana.
522
00:21:00,326 --> 00:21:04,562
- As president of city council,
I, councilwoman brandi maxxxx,
523
00:21:04,564 --> 00:21:08,799
Star of more than 11,000 adult
films in the last two years,
524
00:21:08,801 --> 00:21:13,471
Officially declare garry gergich
mayor of pawnee, indiana,
525
00:21:13,473 --> 00:21:14,639
For the fourth time.
526
00:21:14,641 --> 00:21:16,707
- Thank you, pawnee!
527
00:21:16,709 --> 00:21:17,975
- Okay, great.
528
00:21:17,977 --> 00:21:19,810
Garry gergich,
you are now mayor,
529
00:21:19,812 --> 00:21:23,481
Again, for the tenth time,
proving conclusively
530
00:21:23,483 --> 00:21:25,783
That in these corporate states
of america,
531
00:21:25,785 --> 00:21:28,919
It's the entrenched powers
who hold all the cards.
532
00:21:28,921 --> 00:21:30,955
- Thank you,
councilman morris.
533
00:21:30,957 --> 00:21:32,990
Thank you, pawnee!
534
00:21:32,992 --> 00:21:37,461
- Happy birthday,
my sweet, sweet husband.
535
00:21:37,463 --> 00:21:40,331
We all love you so much.
536
00:21:40,333 --> 00:21:43,434
- I have had the perfect life.
537
00:21:43,436 --> 00:21:45,703
I have had
the perfect marriage...
538
00:21:45,705 --> 00:21:48,005
- Oh! [giggles]
- the perfect children,
539
00:21:48,007 --> 00:21:52,576
And the perfect grandchildren
and great-grandchildren!
540
00:21:52,578 --> 00:21:56,380
And I just want you to know
how much I love you.
541
00:21:56,382 --> 00:21:59,550
- Okay, come on, everybody,
say, "gergich!"
542
00:21:59,552 --> 00:22:03,521
All: Gergich!
[camera shutter clicks]
543
00:22:03,523 --> 00:22:07,458
- Mayor garry gergich
died peacefully in his sleep
544
00:22:07,460 --> 00:22:09,460
On his 100th birthday,
545
00:22:09,462 --> 00:22:13,397
Holding the hand
of his beloved wife, gayle.
546
00:22:13,399 --> 00:22:16,600
- Man, gayle looks amazing.
547
00:22:16,602 --> 00:22:17,935
- Yeah, yeah.
I know.
548
00:22:17,937 --> 00:22:19,370
- He will now be given
549
00:22:19,372 --> 00:22:23,341
The indiana notary society's
highest honor,
550
00:22:23,343 --> 00:22:24,942
The 21-stamp salute.
551
00:22:32,417 --> 00:22:35,853
- Oh, rest in peace, friend.
552
00:22:35,855 --> 00:22:39,123
- They spelled his name wrong
on the tombstone.
553
00:22:40,792 --> 00:22:44,829
- Eh, close enough.
- Eh.
554
00:22:44,831 --> 00:22:46,831
- It's time to go.
555
00:22:49,134 --> 00:22:51,502
- Okay.
How's this for a headline?
556
00:22:51,504 --> 00:22:54,672
"still swinging: Parks gang
reunites for one last bang."
557
00:22:54,674 --> 00:22:56,040
- That's a little dirty.
558
00:22:56,042 --> 00:22:58,376
- Well, it's a headline, shauna.
Sex sells.
559
00:22:58,378 --> 00:22:59,610
- Knope,
560
00:22:59,612 --> 00:23:02,747
Make yourself useful and hand me
that crescent wrench.
561
00:23:02,749 --> 00:23:06,484
- Oh,
not bad craftsmanship, ron.
562
00:23:06,486 --> 00:23:09,920
- It is perfect craftsmanship.
563
00:23:09,922 --> 00:23:13,991
I calculate the cost
of my labor at $38.
564
00:23:13,993 --> 00:23:16,861
I can send the bill to you?
565
00:23:16,863 --> 00:23:19,130
- So you think you're
gonna stick around pawnee?
566
00:23:19,132 --> 00:23:20,931
- Oh, I imagine so.
567
00:23:20,933 --> 00:23:23,467
Not sure where
I would go, really.
568
00:23:23,469 --> 00:23:26,470
- Well, we're gonna
come back here a lot.
569
00:23:26,472 --> 00:23:29,707
You know what they say.
570
00:23:29,709 --> 00:23:33,110
Don't be a stranger.
571
00:23:33,112 --> 00:23:35,513
- Despite the recent
financial crisis,
572
00:23:35,515 --> 00:23:39,483
Very good building company
will finish fiscal year 2022
573
00:23:39,485 --> 00:23:42,420
In excellent financial shape,
thanks in large part
574
00:23:42,422 --> 00:23:45,089
To the stewardship
of your chairman, ron swanson.
575
00:23:45,091 --> 00:23:47,992
Mr. Chairman, would you like
to say a few words?
576
00:23:51,696 --> 00:23:54,999
- I resign as chairman,
effective immediately.
577
00:23:55,001 --> 00:23:58,002
- Uh, would you
like to explain why?
578
00:23:58,004 --> 00:23:59,603
- No.
579
00:23:59,605 --> 00:24:02,006
- Should we discuss
your retirement package?
580
00:24:02,008 --> 00:24:04,175
- Just give me whatever
the board thinks is fair.
581
00:24:04,177 --> 00:24:07,144
- Agreed.
- Best of luck.
582
00:24:07,146 --> 00:24:09,880
- Don't get emotional, vaughn.
You're embarrassing yourself.
583
00:24:12,684 --> 00:24:14,752
- What just happened?
584
00:24:18,223 --> 00:24:20,691
- Ron, your family is beautiful.
585
00:24:20,693 --> 00:24:22,626
- They're a handsome bunch.
586
00:24:22,628 --> 00:24:26,030
Diane and I are especially proud
because ivy was just accepted
587
00:24:26,032 --> 00:24:27,031
At stanford university.
588
00:24:27,033 --> 00:24:28,165
- Wow.
589
00:24:28,167 --> 00:24:29,667
- Yeah, it's gonna cost
an arm and a leg.
590
00:24:29,669 --> 00:24:30,935
You take my advice?
591
00:24:30,937 --> 00:24:33,838
I sold some of my gold
592
00:24:33,840 --> 00:24:37,141
And officially diversified
my portfolio.
593
00:24:37,143 --> 00:24:38,742
- Congratulations.
594
00:24:38,744 --> 00:24:41,245
You now own 51%
of the lagavulin distillery.
595
00:24:41,247 --> 00:24:42,746
- Pleasure doing business
with you.
596
00:24:42,748 --> 00:24:43,881
- And with you.
597
00:24:43,883 --> 00:24:47,084
All: Sláinte.
598
00:24:47,086 --> 00:24:51,956
- So, ron,
what brings you here?
599
00:24:51,958 --> 00:24:54,892
- I am at something
of a personal crossroads.
600
00:24:54,894 --> 00:24:57,561
- Yes!
I love personal crossroads.
601
00:24:57,563 --> 00:25:01,632
- I once made the mistake of not
talking to you at such a moment,
602
00:25:01,634 --> 00:25:04,702
And I do not intend
to repeat that error.
603
00:25:04,704 --> 00:25:06,070
- Well, let's take a walk.
604
00:25:06,072 --> 00:25:09,940
There's a cute,
little park nearby.
605
00:25:09,942 --> 00:25:12,543
- I suppose I had simply
606
00:25:14,546 --> 00:25:17,615
And there seemed to be
little point in continuing.
607
00:25:17,617 --> 00:25:20,284
- So what do you want to do now?
608
00:25:20,286 --> 00:25:22,086
- Well, that's the problem.
609
00:25:22,088 --> 00:25:23,954
I'm not sure.
610
00:25:23,956 --> 00:25:25,923
My kids are growing up.
611
00:25:25,925 --> 00:25:28,859
My days in an office
feel like a waste.
612
00:25:28,861 --> 00:25:33,898
I would like to turn
my attention to something...
613
00:25:33,900 --> 00:25:36,934
That would make me feel useful,
614
00:25:36,936 --> 00:25:41,705
But for the life of me,
I cannot figure out what.
615
00:25:41,707 --> 00:25:45,242
And there are not many people--
616
00:25:45,244 --> 00:25:48,145
I mean, we were workplace
proximity acquaintances
617
00:25:48,147 --> 00:25:50,681
For many years,
and so I thought--
618
00:25:50,683 --> 00:25:51,782
I thought maybe...
619
00:25:51,784 --> 00:25:54,285
- Say no more, you big softie.
620
00:25:54,287 --> 00:25:56,287
I'm gonna spend
every waking moment
621
00:25:56,289 --> 00:25:59,590
Trying to figure this out
for you.
622
00:25:59,592 --> 00:26:00,624
You want to stay for dinner?
623
00:26:00,626 --> 00:26:02,059
We're having steak.
- Mm?
624
00:26:02,061 --> 00:26:03,794
- But we're also hosting
several members
625
00:26:03,796 --> 00:26:06,030
Of the house subcommittee
on foreign affairs.
626
00:26:06,032 --> 00:26:08,632
- I'll take that steak to go,
please and thank you.
627
00:26:14,139 --> 00:26:18,042
- Hey, there you are.
Thanks for meeting me here.
628
00:26:18,044 --> 00:26:19,109
- Well, if you'd have
held them here
629
00:26:19,111 --> 00:26:20,277
Instead of that conference room,
630
00:26:20,279 --> 00:26:22,112
I would have come
to more meetings.
631
00:26:22,114 --> 00:26:25,616
I got to tell you, leslie,
establishing this national park
632
00:26:25,618 --> 00:26:29,219
Right next to pawnee
is quite an accomplishment.
633
00:26:29,221 --> 00:26:31,655
This is a fine piece of land
you saved.
634
00:26:31,657 --> 00:26:33,591
- Thank you, ron.
635
00:26:33,593 --> 00:26:35,859
You want to run it?
636
00:26:35,861 --> 00:26:38,262
The superintendent
of bryce canyon retired,
637
00:26:38,264 --> 00:26:40,264
And I convinced
the superintendent of this park
638
00:26:40,266 --> 00:26:42,366
To transfer,
shuffled a few things around.
639
00:26:42,368 --> 00:26:44,768
The point is someone needs
to take care of this place now.
640
00:26:44,770 --> 00:26:46,704
Thought it should be you.
641
00:26:46,706 --> 00:26:49,239
- I...
642
00:26:49,241 --> 00:26:50,941
Well, first of all,
I would be working
643
00:26:50,943 --> 00:26:52,242
For the federal government.
644
00:26:52,244 --> 00:26:54,778
- Your job would be
to walk around the land alone,
645
00:26:54,780 --> 00:26:56,780
You'd live in the same town
you've always lived in,
646
00:26:56,782 --> 00:26:58,048
You'd work outside,
you'd talk to bears.
647
00:26:58,050 --> 00:26:59,717
Next argument?
648
00:26:59,719 --> 00:27:02,052
- There must be dozens of people
gunning for this job.
649
00:27:02,054 --> 00:27:04,321
I wouldn't want you
to ruffle any feathers.
650
00:27:04,323 --> 00:27:05,723
Am I even qualified?
651
00:27:05,725 --> 00:27:07,257
- Well, a few people
might be annoyed,
652
00:27:07,259 --> 00:27:08,325
But they'll get over it.
653
00:27:08,327 --> 00:27:10,194
And as far
as your qualifications,
654
00:27:10,196 --> 00:27:12,763
You're ron swanson.
655
00:27:12,765 --> 00:27:15,966
Stop being a dummy and accept.
656
00:27:15,968 --> 00:27:18,035
- When do I start?
- Oh, today.
657
00:27:18,037 --> 00:27:19,169
I already accepted for you.
658
00:27:19,171 --> 00:27:21,805
I still remember
how to forge your signature.
659
00:27:21,807 --> 00:27:25,643
Let's go meet your staff.
660
00:27:25,645 --> 00:27:27,778
Pawnee national park rangers,
661
00:27:27,780 --> 00:27:32,783
This is ron swanson, your new
superintendent and boss.
662
00:27:32,785 --> 00:27:37,688
- Rangers, my name
is ronald ulysses swanson.
663
00:27:37,690 --> 00:27:41,659
Your job and mine
is to walk this land
664
00:27:41,661 --> 00:27:43,827
And make sure no one harms it.
665
00:27:43,829 --> 00:27:46,730
If you show up on time,
speak honestly,
666
00:27:46,732 --> 00:27:48,298
And treat everyone
with fairness,
667
00:27:48,300 --> 00:27:51,068
We will get along just fine.
668
00:27:51,070 --> 00:27:52,703
Though hopefully not too fine,
669
00:27:52,705 --> 00:27:55,105
As I'm not looking
for any new friends.
670
00:27:55,107 --> 00:27:56,774
End of speech.
671
00:27:56,776 --> 00:27:58,776
- Well said.
672
00:28:01,413 --> 00:28:04,248
- Thank you, leslie.
673
00:28:04,250 --> 00:28:06,684
- You're welcome, ron.
674
00:28:10,722 --> 00:28:12,756
- Okay.
675
00:28:12,758 --> 00:28:14,324
Time to go to work.
676
00:28:14,326 --> 00:28:16,994
[buddy by willie nelson]
677
00:28:16,996 --> 00:28:19,229
- ♪ laugh with me, buddy ♪
678
00:28:19,231 --> 00:28:22,866
♪ jest with me, buddy ♪
679
00:28:22,868 --> 00:28:27,805
♪ don't let her get the best
of me, buddy ♪
680
00:28:27,807 --> 00:28:30,908
♪ don't ever let me start ♪
681
00:28:30,910 --> 00:28:33,210
♪ feeling lonely ♪
682
00:28:33,212 --> 00:28:35,345
♪ ♪
683
00:28:39,718 --> 00:28:42,052
- Well, I have to make
a couple more adjustments.
684
00:28:46,091 --> 00:28:47,825
- Babe,
I don't want to seem dramatic,
685
00:28:47,827 --> 00:28:49,793
But I've just reconsidered
every decision
686
00:28:49,795 --> 00:28:53,197
And I think we need
to stay in pawnee forever.
687
00:28:53,199 --> 00:28:54,765
- I know.
- [sighs]
688
00:28:54,767 --> 00:28:55,933
- But we have to pick up
the kids,
689
00:28:55,935 --> 00:28:57,067
And we have a flight to catch.
690
00:28:57,069 --> 00:28:58,502
- But when is this group
of people
691
00:28:58,504 --> 00:29:00,904
Ever going to be
all together again?
692
00:29:00,906 --> 00:29:02,372
That's all I want,
693
00:29:02,374 --> 00:29:05,142
All of these people in
the same place at the same time.
694
00:29:05,144 --> 00:29:07,111
- It'll happen someday.
695
00:29:07,113 --> 00:29:08,846
- What's gonna happen
between now and then?
696
00:29:08,848 --> 00:29:12,783
- A lot,
and it's all gonna be great.
697
00:29:12,785 --> 00:29:14,752
- You promise?
- I promise.
698
00:29:21,526 --> 00:29:23,327
This is a nice house.
699
00:29:23,329 --> 00:29:25,395
- You say that every time
we're here.
700
00:29:25,397 --> 00:29:26,764
- I'm just trying
to distract you,
701
00:29:26,766 --> 00:29:28,799
So you don't have
a nervous breakdown.
702
00:29:28,801 --> 00:29:30,467
- I think I am past that point.
703
00:29:30,469 --> 00:29:31,902
You don't have to worry
about me anymore.
704
00:29:31,904 --> 00:29:33,804
- Hey, folks, welcome back.
705
00:29:33,806 --> 00:29:35,973
Great to have so many
good friends and colleagues.
706
00:29:35,975 --> 00:29:38,776
We're looking forward to a great
conversation and a good dinner.
707
00:29:38,778 --> 00:29:42,346
- As usual, there's only
one rule: No shop talk.
708
00:29:42,348 --> 00:29:44,181
So if you want
to discuss politics,
709
00:29:44,183 --> 00:29:46,183
You're gonna have to wait
until after dinner.
710
00:29:46,185 --> 00:29:47,818
I'm looking at you, leslie.
711
00:29:47,820 --> 00:29:50,988
- Okay, well, as long as we get
to play charades later.
712
00:29:50,990 --> 00:29:52,956
- [chuckles]
- okay.
713
00:29:52,958 --> 00:29:56,126
Last time we played charades,
she spent 3 1/2 hours here.
714
00:29:56,128 --> 00:29:57,394
- You're just mad
'cause you lost.
715
00:29:57,396 --> 00:29:59,263
- Oh, come on.
716
00:30:02,801 --> 00:30:04,802
- Damn!
That food was good.
717
00:30:04,804 --> 00:30:06,336
I've said it before,
and I'll say it again--
718
00:30:06,338 --> 00:30:09,139
Joe biden knows his way
around a seafood risotto.
719
00:30:09,141 --> 00:30:11,008
- You've said that before?
720
00:30:11,010 --> 00:30:14,178
- Anyway, the point is, yes,
I do like working at interior.
721
00:30:14,180 --> 00:30:16,814
I love it, but I'm always
looking for new challenges.
722
00:30:16,816 --> 00:30:18,348
Why do you ask?
723
00:30:18,350 --> 00:30:20,450
- There's a rumor
the governor of indiana
724
00:30:20,452 --> 00:30:23,420
Isn't going to run again,
and my friends at the dnc
725
00:30:23,422 --> 00:30:26,824
Are very interested in you
as a candidate.
726
00:30:26,826 --> 00:30:29,159
- For governor of indiana?
- Mm-hmm.
727
00:30:29,161 --> 00:30:31,295
- Someone's been reading
my kindergarten dream journal.
728
00:30:31,297 --> 00:30:32,529
- So what do you think?
729
00:30:32,531 --> 00:30:34,231
I'll call you next week,
and we can talk about it?
730
00:30:34,233 --> 00:30:36,600
- O-okay, great.
731
00:30:36,602 --> 00:30:38,435
Well, this is exciting.
732
00:30:38,437 --> 00:30:40,037
I'm gonna take this energy,
733
00:30:40,039 --> 00:30:42,439
And I'm gonna go crush joe biden
in charades.
734
00:30:42,441 --> 00:30:46,577
Dr. Jill, let's pick teams.
735
00:30:46,579 --> 00:30:48,879
- Oh.
Move.
736
00:30:48,881 --> 00:30:50,981
Need the congressman.
This is time-sensitive.
737
00:30:50,983 --> 00:30:53,016
- Hey, jen,
I didn't know you were here.
738
00:30:53,018 --> 00:30:56,053
You want to be
governor of indiana?
739
00:30:56,055 --> 00:30:57,421
- What?
740
00:30:57,423 --> 00:30:59,022
- Colquitt's not gonna
run again.
741
00:30:59,024 --> 00:31:00,891
It's a rumor for now,
but my gut says it's for real.
742
00:31:00,893 --> 00:31:02,259
You're the perfect candidate.
743
00:31:02,261 --> 00:31:04,394
Local hero,
state government experience,
744
00:31:04,396 --> 00:31:06,096
Blah-blah-blah-
blah-blah-blah-blah.
745
00:31:06,098 --> 00:31:07,364
I mean,
the only potential problem
746
00:31:07,366 --> 00:31:10,100
Is that devastatingly nerdy
"cones of dunshire" thing.
747
00:31:10,102 --> 00:31:12,035
- Uh, that's a problem?
748
00:31:12,037 --> 00:31:15,439
But it's the ninth-highest
selling multiplayer
749
00:31:15,441 --> 00:31:20,310
Figurine-based strategy
fantasy sequel game in history.
750
00:31:20,312 --> 00:31:23,080
Please don't bail on me
because of what just happened.
751
00:31:25,350 --> 00:31:26,617
Both: So...
752
00:31:26,619 --> 00:31:28,185
- I had a pretty interesting
conversation
753
00:31:28,187 --> 00:31:29,453
With janet from the dnc tonight.
754
00:31:29,455 --> 00:31:30,621
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
755
00:31:30,623 --> 00:31:32,489
She said
that governor colquitt
756
00:31:32,491 --> 00:31:34,358
Might be stepping down,
757
00:31:34,360 --> 00:31:37,895
And the dnc thinks
that I should run for governor.
758
00:31:37,897 --> 00:31:42,332
- Oh, god.
That...Kind of sucks.
759
00:31:42,334 --> 00:31:43,600
- Really? Why?
760
00:31:43,602 --> 00:31:45,469
- No. I mean, that's--
761
00:31:45,471 --> 00:31:47,104
That's amazing.
762
00:31:47,106 --> 00:31:51,341
It's just, jen barkley kind of
approached me about running.
763
00:31:51,343 --> 00:31:54,645
- Oh!
Oh.
764
00:31:54,647 --> 00:31:57,581
Well, I mean, obviously...
765
00:31:59,384 --> 00:32:01,018
- Right.
Yeah, no, no.
766
00:32:01,020 --> 00:32:02,119
I mean, obviously...
767
00:32:02,121 --> 00:32:04,021
- Yeah, I mean, obviously...
768
00:32:07,158 --> 00:32:09,693
Okay, pros of you
running for governor:
769
00:32:09,695 --> 00:32:11,628
You would be a great governor,
770
00:32:11,630 --> 00:32:13,330
We could make pawnee
our home base,
771
00:32:13,332 --> 00:32:14,998
Kids could go to school
in pawnee,
772
00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:17,234
And it would be
a huge career move for you.
773
00:32:17,236 --> 00:32:20,404
The pros of me running
for governor are the same thing.
774
00:32:20,406 --> 00:32:22,005
It's the same list.
- Right.
775
00:32:22,007 --> 00:32:24,007
- The only con of you running
would be
776
00:32:24,009 --> 00:32:26,243
That I don't get to run
and vice versa.
777
00:32:28,179 --> 00:32:30,013
- Good.
So we've solved it.
778
00:32:30,015 --> 00:32:32,182
- [groans] ugh.
Look.
779
00:32:32,184 --> 00:32:33,550
We're going back
to pawnee in a week.
780
00:32:33,552 --> 00:32:35,519
Why don't we just
talk about it after that?
781
00:32:35,521 --> 00:32:36,687
- Good idea.
782
00:32:36,689 --> 00:32:38,655
Hey, maybe we can drop by
the old stomping ground,
783
00:32:38,657 --> 00:32:40,991
See how the parks department
has changed.
784
00:32:40,993 --> 00:32:42,025
- I love it.
785
00:32:42,027 --> 00:32:43,593
Okay, are you ready?
786
00:32:43,595 --> 00:32:45,996
- No, but we don't have
a choice, do we?
787
00:32:45,998 --> 00:32:47,064
- [sighs]
788
00:32:47,066 --> 00:32:48,999
Kids, dinner!
789
00:32:49,001 --> 00:32:51,168
- Hey, I'm gonna eat in my room
because I have to study.
790
00:32:51,170 --> 00:32:52,235
- Can we go to bobby's house
to watch the game?
791
00:32:52,237 --> 00:32:53,403
- Hey, dude, stop.
792
00:32:53,405 --> 00:32:56,106
- Okay, don't forget to...
- That's mine.
793
00:32:56,108 --> 00:32:58,642
- Bye.
- Okay, get your ice skates!
794
00:32:58,644 --> 00:33:01,244
Bye, dad.
- Just--okay.
795
00:33:01,246 --> 00:33:05,148
Bye.
[door closes]
796
00:33:05,150 --> 00:33:07,684
Want some broccoli?
- Ugh, no.
797
00:33:09,153 --> 00:33:10,587
You know, now that I'm here,
798
00:33:10,589 --> 00:33:13,490
It's giving me an idea
about this governor thing.
799
00:33:13,492 --> 00:33:15,625
Maybe we need fresh eyes,
you know,
800
00:33:15,627 --> 00:33:17,194
Other people to weigh in.
801
00:33:17,196 --> 00:33:22,132
We should talk to ron or tom
or April or donna or andy even.
802
00:33:22,134 --> 00:33:24,234
Sometimes he can be wise.
- Oh, good idea.
803
00:33:24,236 --> 00:33:25,769
Let's call them.
804
00:33:25,771 --> 00:33:27,471
Or you know what else
we could do?
805
00:33:27,473 --> 00:33:29,172
Just talk to them in person.
806
00:33:29,174 --> 00:33:32,042
All: Hey!
807
00:33:32,044 --> 00:33:34,611
- Surprise!
808
00:33:34,613 --> 00:33:36,246
- Oh, wow.
809
00:33:36,248 --> 00:33:37,381
- It's what you wanted, right,
810
00:33:37,383 --> 00:33:39,783
Everyone in the same room
at same time?
811
00:33:39,785 --> 00:33:42,252
- I can't believe you.
812
00:33:42,254 --> 00:33:45,655
We're all here together
in the same room...
813
00:33:45,657 --> 00:33:48,759
In this room.
814
00:33:48,761 --> 00:33:51,461
I don't think
I could be happier right now.
815
00:33:51,463 --> 00:33:52,529
- Want to bet?
816
00:33:52,531 --> 00:33:54,731
- Hi.
- Oh, ann's here!
817
00:33:54,733 --> 00:33:56,633
Ann.
Ann's here!
818
00:33:56,635 --> 00:33:58,135
- Hi!
- Oh!
819
00:33:58,137 --> 00:33:59,302
- Hey.
- Hey, buddy.
820
00:33:59,304 --> 00:34:01,138
- How you doing?
- Oh, good.
821
00:34:01,140 --> 00:34:03,073
- You guys, ann's here.
- Aww.
822
00:34:03,075 --> 00:34:04,441
- Should we move away from here?
- Yeah, yeah.
823
00:34:04,443 --> 00:34:07,210
This could go on for some time.
- Ohh!
824
00:34:10,448 --> 00:34:12,382
- Your hair looks amazing,
by the way.
825
00:34:12,384 --> 00:34:13,550
You look like
a cartoon princess.
826
00:34:13,552 --> 00:34:14,751
- Oh, thank you!
827
00:34:14,753 --> 00:34:17,120
- I took some of those,
828
00:34:17,122 --> 00:34:18,321
But I don't know,
they didn't do anything,
829
00:34:18,323 --> 00:34:19,656
And they kind of upset
my stomach.
830
00:34:19,658 --> 00:34:21,191
- No, no, no.
You're supposed to crack them
831
00:34:21,193 --> 00:34:23,527
And leave them on your hair
overnight, not eat them.
832
00:34:23,529 --> 00:34:25,128
- Oh, no.
833
00:34:25,130 --> 00:34:27,664
Well, it's confusing
'cause they're delicious.
834
00:34:27,666 --> 00:34:30,067
- Because my first book
was such a smash,
835
00:34:30,069 --> 00:34:32,135
I had to come up with
a new angle for the follow-up.
836
00:34:32,137 --> 00:34:35,172
Then it hit me...
Failure 2.0: Failing to fail.
837
00:34:35,174 --> 00:34:36,773
- Love it.
- How's everything?
838
00:34:36,775 --> 00:34:38,842
You properly treating yourself
out there in seattle?
839
00:34:38,844 --> 00:34:40,410
- In a manner of speaking.
840
00:34:40,412 --> 00:34:42,279
Joe and I spend most of our time
on the foundation.
841
00:34:42,281 --> 00:34:44,848
- [sighs] I can't believe
you went nonprofit.
842
00:34:44,850 --> 00:34:46,316
I mean, I love you.
843
00:34:46,318 --> 00:34:47,551
You're one of my best friends,
844
00:34:47,553 --> 00:34:49,786
But you have betrayed me
and everything we stand for.
845
00:34:49,788 --> 00:34:51,621
You've changed.
- Maybe you're right.
846
00:34:51,623 --> 00:34:53,657
By the way, what time is it?
847
00:34:53,659 --> 00:34:56,293
Oh, it looks like
it's half past spla-dow!
848
00:34:56,295 --> 00:34:57,527
Both: What?
849
00:34:57,529 --> 00:34:58,795
- I take it all back.
850
00:34:58,797 --> 00:35:00,197
That's a lot of diamonds.
851
00:35:00,199 --> 00:35:01,865
Give me, give me, give me,
give me, give me!
852
00:35:01,867 --> 00:35:04,668
- Hey, oliver.
Hey, leslie.
853
00:35:04,670 --> 00:35:06,503
Hello, ann.
- Hi, April.
854
00:35:06,505 --> 00:35:08,672
- Your kids are,
like, surprisingly awesome.
855
00:35:08,674 --> 00:35:09,673
- Thank you.
856
00:35:09,675 --> 00:35:11,108
- Did you use an egg donor
857
00:35:11,110 --> 00:35:13,443
Or give chris a hall pass
for a night?
858
00:35:13,445 --> 00:35:16,113
- Once again,
they are my biological children.
859
00:35:16,115 --> 00:35:18,448
- Once again,
I don't believe you.
860
00:35:18,450 --> 00:35:22,152
- Ann, you rainbow-infused
space unicorn.
861
00:35:22,154 --> 00:35:25,622
Ann, you beautiful,
sassy mannequin come to life.
862
00:35:25,624 --> 00:35:28,391
Ann, you opalescent tree shark.
863
00:35:28,393 --> 00:35:30,760
- Leslie, you are the master
of the metaphor.
864
00:35:30,762 --> 00:35:32,295
- Oh.
865
00:35:32,297 --> 00:35:34,631
- I recently compared her
to a nutrient-rich chia seed.
866
00:35:34,633 --> 00:35:35,799
- What's that thing
on your wrist?
867
00:35:35,801 --> 00:35:37,434
- Oh!
868
00:35:37,436 --> 00:35:39,769
[electronic tones]
869
00:35:39,771 --> 00:35:42,139
- You are extremely healthy.
870
00:35:42,141 --> 00:35:44,774
- I do that literally
50 times a day.
871
00:35:44,776 --> 00:35:48,145
- Aren't you afraid that thing
might give you cancer?
872
00:35:48,147 --> 00:35:49,679
- Well, I am now.
873
00:35:49,681 --> 00:35:51,681
- Well, there he is.
874
00:35:51,683 --> 00:35:54,551
Chip traeger,
you old son of a gun.
875
00:35:54,553 --> 00:35:56,153
- Andy, it's chris.
876
00:35:56,155 --> 00:35:58,288
- Is it?
877
00:35:58,290 --> 00:36:00,157
Ha! Huh.
878
00:36:00,159 --> 00:36:03,293
- Hello, jack.
Ron swanson.
879
00:36:03,295 --> 00:36:04,561
Strong handshake.
880
00:36:04,563 --> 00:36:06,463
Well done, you two.
- Thank you.
881
00:36:06,465 --> 00:36:08,265
- So are you
gonna have another one?
882
00:36:08,267 --> 00:36:10,333
- Um...
883
00:36:10,335 --> 00:36:11,801
- [gasps]
884
00:36:11,803 --> 00:36:15,338
- Shh.
- Shh.
885
00:36:15,340 --> 00:36:17,807
'cause--
'cause he's sleeping?
886
00:36:17,809 --> 00:36:19,442
How can you tell?
887
00:36:19,444 --> 00:36:20,844
- Oh,
it's a common misconception
888
00:36:20,846 --> 00:36:22,712
That the oculus
holds all of the power.
889
00:36:22,714 --> 00:36:24,181
It's actually the lamplighter.
890
00:36:24,183 --> 00:36:25,815
- Ann! Oh, my god!
It's happening.
891
00:36:25,817 --> 00:36:28,785
It's totally happening.
Our kids are falling in love.
892
00:36:28,787 --> 00:36:30,353
- This is good.
Okay, remember.
893
00:36:30,355 --> 00:36:34,558
- Yeah, right, good call.
894
00:36:34,560 --> 00:36:35,959
Hey!
895
00:36:35,961 --> 00:36:37,427
- Leslie, no.
- Oh.
896
00:36:37,429 --> 00:36:40,197
Who cares?
897
00:36:40,199 --> 00:36:42,866
- Ann arbor, michigan,
is literally the greatest city
898
00:36:42,868 --> 00:36:44,801
That I have ever lived in,
899
00:36:44,803 --> 00:36:47,337
But pawnee is better,
so we're moving back.
900
00:36:47,339 --> 00:36:48,538
- That's great.
- Yeah.
901
00:36:48,540 --> 00:36:50,574
I'm gonna run admissions
at indiana.
902
00:36:50,576 --> 00:36:52,375
I'm trading wolverines
for hoosiers.
903
00:36:52,377 --> 00:36:55,712
- Well, you're getting
the better end of that deal.
904
00:36:55,714 --> 00:36:57,214
Tom!
905
00:36:57,216 --> 00:37:00,350
I took the quiz in your book
about what kind of person I am.
906
00:37:00,352 --> 00:37:01,518
I'm a "ron."
907
00:37:01,520 --> 00:37:03,320
- Ha!
I'm usually a "tom,"
908
00:37:03,322 --> 00:37:04,988
But sometimes I'm a "donna."
909
00:37:04,990 --> 00:37:07,257
- Last time I took it,
I was a "tom."
910
00:37:07,259 --> 00:37:09,926
- What?
No.
911
00:37:09,928 --> 00:37:11,294
No, no, no!
912
00:37:11,296 --> 00:37:12,696
Take it again!
913
00:37:12,698 --> 00:37:14,965
I got to go recalibrate
the quiz.
914
00:37:17,835 --> 00:37:21,504
- ♪ things I really want to do ♪
915
00:37:21,506 --> 00:37:23,440
- So did anyone
have any insights
916
00:37:23,442 --> 00:37:25,442
On our "running for governor"
situation?
917
00:37:25,444 --> 00:37:27,244
- I've been so busy
catching up with everyone,
918
00:37:27,246 --> 00:37:28,545
I haven't had a chance
to ask them.
919
00:37:28,547 --> 00:37:29,980
- Yeah, me neither.
- Okay, here's what I think.
920
00:37:29,982 --> 00:37:31,748
I hate
when we're on opposite sides.
921
00:37:31,750 --> 00:37:33,550
It stinks.
922
00:37:33,552 --> 00:37:35,819
Plus, if one of us runs,
it doesn't mean we're gonna win.
923
00:37:35,821 --> 00:37:38,488
- Right, and it's not like
this is the only career option
924
00:37:38,490 --> 00:37:39,556
For either of us.
925
00:37:39,558 --> 00:37:41,825
So all that matters
is that we are good.
926
00:37:41,827 --> 00:37:44,761
- Right,
which is why I have an idea.
927
00:37:44,763 --> 00:37:47,397
I think we should flip a coin.
I mean it.
928
00:37:47,399 --> 00:37:50,634
Let's literally flip a coin,
because whoever runs
929
00:37:50,636 --> 00:37:53,436
Is gonna do a great job,
and whoever doesn't run
930
00:37:53,438 --> 00:37:55,939
Is gonna be right alongside
the other one,
931
00:37:55,941 --> 00:37:58,708
Offering advice and support
and whatever they need.
932
00:37:58,710 --> 00:37:59,976
So it doesn't matter.
933
00:37:59,978 --> 00:38:01,544
So let's flip a coin.
934
00:38:01,546 --> 00:38:03,513
- Okay, you, leslie knope,
935
00:38:03,515 --> 00:38:07,851
The queen of planning and
binders and pro-and-con lists,
936
00:38:07,853 --> 00:38:11,321
You want to leave this
to chance?
937
00:38:11,323 --> 00:38:16,860
- Yes, because whatever's next,
you and I are in it together.
938
00:38:16,862 --> 00:38:19,362
So let's go tell everybody,
and they can participate,
939
00:38:21,299 --> 00:38:26,336
Will eventually make its way
into the smithsonian.
940
00:38:26,338 --> 00:38:28,338
Okay, everybody, gather around.
941
00:38:28,340 --> 00:38:30,974
First of all, I just have to say
that all of you in the same room
942
00:38:30,976 --> 00:38:32,709
At the same time
with your children here,
943
00:38:32,711 --> 00:38:34,010
It's like
it's the greatest thing
944
00:38:34,012 --> 00:38:35,945
That's ever happened
in the history of america.
945
00:38:35,947 --> 00:38:38,548
And secondly,
ben and I have an announcement.
946
00:38:38,550 --> 00:38:40,850
- Leslie's running
for governor of indiana.
947
00:38:40,852 --> 00:38:43,987
All: What?
948
00:38:43,989 --> 00:38:45,488
- Bully for you, knope.
949
00:38:45,490 --> 00:38:46,589
- That's amazing.
950
00:38:46,591 --> 00:38:48,391
- Yeah, she got approached
by the dnc,
951
00:38:48,393 --> 00:38:53,396
Indiana native,
supremely qualified,
952
00:38:53,398 --> 00:38:55,932
And she wrote
that she wanted to be governor
953
00:38:55,934 --> 00:38:58,802
In her kindergarten
dream journal.
954
00:38:58,804 --> 00:39:01,705
Just makes sense.
955
00:39:04,875 --> 00:39:06,409
- So I'm running for governor.
956
00:39:06,411 --> 00:39:07,977
All: Yeah!
957
00:39:07,979 --> 00:39:09,779
- Ben is gonna be
running my campaign
958
00:39:09,781 --> 00:39:11,114
Because he's a super genius,
959
00:39:11,116 --> 00:39:14,351
And he's got a tight,
compact, little body
960
00:39:14,353 --> 00:39:17,354
Like an italian sports car.
961
00:39:17,356 --> 00:39:19,589
But right now I'd like
to make a toast.
962
00:39:19,591 --> 00:39:22,892
When we worked here together,
963
00:39:22,894 --> 00:39:26,663
We fought, scratched,
and clawed
964
00:39:26,665 --> 00:39:29,566
To make people's lives
a tiny bit better.
965
00:39:29,568 --> 00:39:32,102
That's what public service
is all about--
966
00:39:32,104 --> 00:39:34,871
Small, incremental change
every day.
967
00:39:34,873 --> 00:39:37,140
Teddy roosevelt once said,
968
00:39:37,142 --> 00:39:40,477
"far and away, the best prize
that life has to offer
969
00:39:40,479 --> 00:39:44,114
Is a chance to work hard
at work worth doing."
970
00:39:44,116 --> 00:39:48,585
And I would add
that what makes work worth doing
971
00:39:48,587 --> 00:39:51,588
Is getting to do it
with people that you love.
972
00:39:51,590 --> 00:39:54,023
I started my career
more than 30 years ago
973
00:39:54,025 --> 00:39:55,592
In the parks and recreation
department
974
00:39:55,594 --> 00:39:57,994
Right here in pawnee, indiana.
975
00:39:57,996 --> 00:40:00,397
I've had a lot
of different jobs
976
00:40:00,399 --> 00:40:02,699
Including two terms
as your governor,
977
00:40:02,701 --> 00:40:06,870
And soon a new,
unknown challenge awaits me,
978
00:40:06,872 --> 00:40:11,107
Which to me, even now,
is thrilling
979
00:40:11,109 --> 00:40:12,542
Because I love the work.
980
00:40:12,544 --> 00:40:15,044
Not to say that public service
isn't sexy,
981
00:40:15,046 --> 00:40:17,647
Because it definitely is,
982
00:40:17,649 --> 00:40:20,650
But that's not why we do it.
983
00:40:20,652 --> 00:40:22,452
We do it
because we get the chance
984
00:40:22,454 --> 00:40:26,022
To work hard
at work worth doing...
985
00:40:26,024 --> 00:40:29,459
Alongside a team of people
we love.
986
00:40:29,461 --> 00:40:34,597
So I thank those people
who've walked with me,
987
00:40:34,599 --> 00:40:37,600
And I thank you for this honor.
988
00:40:37,602 --> 00:40:39,969
Now, go find your team,
and get to work.
989
00:40:39,971 --> 00:40:42,105
[applause]
990
00:40:46,477 --> 00:40:48,878
- In addition to governor
knope's honorary doctorate
991
00:40:48,880 --> 00:40:50,747
From the school
of public policy,
992
00:40:50,749 --> 00:40:54,484
In recognition of all she's done
for the people of indiana,
993
00:40:54,486 --> 00:40:58,655
The campus library
will henceforth bear her name.
994
00:40:58,657 --> 00:41:01,124
[applause]
995
00:41:01,126 --> 00:41:04,227
- [under breath]
a [bleep] library?
996
00:41:07,198 --> 00:41:10,133
- Yeah, that should do it.
The swing is fixed.
997
00:41:10,135 --> 00:41:12,735
- Yeah!
- All right.
998
00:41:12,737 --> 00:41:14,871
- Well, there you have it, sir.
999
00:41:14,873 --> 00:41:17,173
Another problem solved
by the hard work
1000
00:41:17,175 --> 00:41:19,876
Of dedicated public servants.
1001
00:41:19,878 --> 00:41:21,945
- Okay, great.
1002
00:41:21,947 --> 00:41:23,613
Bye.
1003
00:41:23,615 --> 00:41:25,748
- Yeah, that's about right.
1004
00:41:25,750 --> 00:41:27,784
Okay, well...
1005
00:41:27,786 --> 00:41:29,853
- [sighs]
1006
00:41:29,855 --> 00:41:30,854
Hang on.
1007
00:41:30,856 --> 00:41:32,121
Gayle made me promise
1008
00:41:32,123 --> 00:41:34,157
To get a quick picture
just for old times' sake.
1009
00:41:34,159 --> 00:41:37,760
- Good idea.
Garry had a good idea.
1010
00:41:37,762 --> 00:41:39,128
- Oh, the lighting's all wrong.
1011
00:41:39,130 --> 00:41:40,597
I'm gonna
send you a glamour shot.
1012
00:41:40,599 --> 00:41:43,500
- I'm not gonna show up
in that picture anyway
1013
00:41:43,502 --> 00:41:44,801
Because I'm a vampire.
1014
00:41:44,803 --> 00:41:47,003
- Hey, babe, for this picture,
should I be burt macklin,
1015
00:41:47,005 --> 00:41:49,539
Johnny karate,
or my new character,
1016
00:41:49,541 --> 00:41:52,075
Sergeant thunderfist, md?
1017
00:41:52,077 --> 00:41:53,543
- Where did you get that?
1018
00:41:53,545 --> 00:41:54,677
- I found it in the sandbox.
1019
00:41:54,679 --> 00:41:55,845
- Ew!
1020
00:41:55,847 --> 00:41:57,080
- Go macklin.
1021
00:41:57,082 --> 00:41:59,048
Macklin's the hottest.
- Get on with it.
1022
00:41:59,050 --> 00:42:01,284
I can't hold this smile forever.
I look ridiculous.
1023
00:42:01,286 --> 00:42:03,219
- Okay, hang on.
Okay.
1024
00:42:03,221 --> 00:42:06,589
[camera beeping]
1025
00:42:06,591 --> 00:42:09,626
- You ready, babe?
1026
00:42:09,628 --> 00:42:12,595
- Yes.
1027
00:42:12,597 --> 00:42:13,997
I'm ready.
1028
00:42:13,999 --> 00:42:15,899
[end of the line
by traveling wilburys]
1029
00:42:15,901 --> 00:42:19,002
- ♪ well it's all right ♪
1030
00:42:19,004 --> 00:42:20,837
♪ riding around in the breeze ♪
1031
00:42:20,839 --> 00:42:24,607
♪ well it's all right ♪
1032
00:42:24,609 --> 00:42:26,576
♪ if you live the life
you please ♪
1033
00:42:26,578 --> 00:42:30,079
♪ well it's all right ♪
[laughter]
1034
00:42:32,182 --> 00:42:35,852
♪ well it's all right ♪
1035
00:42:35,854 --> 00:42:38,054
♪ as long as you lend a hand ♪
1036
00:42:38,056 --> 00:42:43,026
[laughter]
1037
00:42:43,028 --> 00:42:47,830
♪ ♪
1038
00:42:47,832 --> 00:42:51,000
- That is a series wrap
on parks and recreation.
72691
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