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1
00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:07,065
All right, Grover. Great job.
2
00:00:07,165 --> 00:00:10,230
Yeah. Anytime, Dad. Ah.
3
00:00:11,596 --> 00:00:12,696
Really?
4
00:00:12,795 --> 00:00:14,826
"Great job"?
5
00:00:14,928 --> 00:00:16,027
It says,
6
00:00:16,127 --> 00:00:18,326
"It's a gril."
7
00:00:18,425 --> 00:00:20,791
I know what it says,
8
00:00:20,891 --> 00:00:22,232
but Grover's been
applying to high schools,
9
00:00:22,256 --> 00:00:23,356
and it's been stressful.
10
00:00:23,455 --> 00:00:25,121
I'm trying to keep
things positive.
11
00:00:25,221 --> 00:00:28,519
Well, maybe, if he
can't spell "girl,"
12
00:00:28,620 --> 00:00:31,251
he might want to do another
year in middle school.
13
00:00:37,281 --> 00:00:38,880
Calvin.
14
00:00:38,982 --> 00:00:40,612
Marty just called.
15
00:00:40,713 --> 00:00:42,887
Courtney and the baby have been
discharged from the hospital.
16
00:00:42,912 --> 00:00:44,011
They're on their way.
17
00:00:44,111 --> 00:00:45,943
Aw. Remember that feeling?
18
00:00:46,043 --> 00:00:47,775
Bringing our baby home
for the first time?
19
00:00:47,875 --> 00:00:50,407
Oh, that was heaven.
20
00:00:50,507 --> 00:00:52,150
Where are the instructions?
I read the instr... Oh, wait.
21
00:00:52,174 --> 00:00:53,982
Was there instructions? Are
you sure you're following
22
00:00:54,006 --> 00:00:55,481
the instructions? I wasn't
sure. I didn't see them before.
23
00:00:55,505 --> 00:00:56,847
No, I read... please
stop yelling at me.
24
00:00:56,871 --> 00:00:58,203
But it's still wiggly.
25
00:00:58,304 --> 00:00:59,846
Okay, it's not wiggling.
It's as tight as I can get...
26
00:00:59,870 --> 00:01:02,068
It's cutting into the
vegan leather. Look.
27
00:01:02,169 --> 00:01:04,000
It's wiggling.
28
00:01:04,099 --> 00:01:07,530
Yeah, if you yank on
it like that, Thor.
29
00:01:07,629 --> 00:01:09,030
Yep.
30
00:01:09,129 --> 00:01:11,728
They're never gonna be happier
than they are right now.
31
00:01:11,862 --> 00:01:13,661
Tina.
32
00:01:13,761 --> 00:01:16,658
I found some of Grover's
old bibs and burp cloths.
33
00:01:16,759 --> 00:01:17,758
They're so cute.
34
00:01:17,859 --> 00:01:21,158
Look at this. "Spit happens."
35
00:01:21,257 --> 00:01:24,121
Yeah, I'm-a throw
away all this spit.
36
00:01:27,519 --> 00:01:29,253
Feels like she could've
waited five minutes
37
00:01:29,352 --> 00:01:31,583
till I walked away, but whatevs.
38
00:01:33,317 --> 00:01:34,749
Ah, Gemma, you
remember this day?
39
00:01:34,851 --> 00:01:36,647
Coming home with a
perfect little baby?
40
00:01:36,748 --> 00:01:38,213
Yeah.
41
00:01:38,315 --> 00:01:39,848
And now he's a teenager.
42
00:01:39,947 --> 00:01:41,479
We get side hugs.
43
00:01:41,578 --> 00:01:43,877
And he calls us "bruh."
44
00:01:43,978 --> 00:01:45,575
I just hope Marty and
Courtney appreciate
45
00:01:45,643 --> 00:01:47,641
these precious moments.
46
00:01:50,007 --> 00:01:51,107
Marty, slow down.
47
00:01:51,206 --> 00:01:52,524
Well, I'm going
ten miles an hour.
48
00:01:53,538 --> 00:01:55,838
Baby on board!
49
00:01:55,839 --> 00:01:57,303
Hey.
50
00:01:57,403 --> 00:01:58,835
She stopped crying.
51
00:01:58,836 --> 00:02:00,368
Oh, good.
52
00:02:00,467 --> 00:02:01,901
Wait, no, i-is she okay?
53
00:02:02,001 --> 00:02:03,210
I-I don't know.
Maybe she fainted.
54
00:02:03,234 --> 00:02:04,699
You're driving like a maniac.
55
00:02:04,833 --> 00:02:06,464
I'm going ten!
56
00:02:08,830 --> 00:02:10,196
She's okay. She's
crying again.
57
00:02:10,295 --> 00:02:11,895
Oh, thank God.
58
00:02:11,995 --> 00:02:15,293
Hey, yo, there is
a baby on board!
59
00:02:16,358 --> 00:02:17,591
Hey, hey, guys, guys?
60
00:02:17,691 --> 00:02:19,025
I-I think I see Marty's car.
61
00:02:19,125 --> 00:02:20,257
Ooh!
62
00:02:20,357 --> 00:02:22,689
Is it parked?
63
00:02:22,823 --> 00:02:25,087
Um, I think it's moving.
64
00:02:25,188 --> 00:02:27,453
Guys, he's got a baby on board.
65
00:02:27,552 --> 00:02:31,084
You know, I hope he
has one of those signs.
66
00:02:31,184 --> 00:02:34,082
Well, we'll know in
about half an hour.
67
00:02:34,182 --> 00:02:36,158
You know, I could just walk
down there and get the baby.
68
00:02:36,181 --> 00:02:38,114
Oh, yeah, yeah, I can't
wait to hold that baby.
69
00:02:38,214 --> 00:02:39,580
Wait, wait, wait, here you go.
70
00:02:39,679 --> 00:02:41,878
Oh, it's okay. I
just washed my hands.
71
00:02:41,978 --> 00:02:44,011
I didn't see it.
72
00:02:45,342 --> 00:02:47,808
Oh, there's my baby!
73
00:02:47,809 --> 00:02:49,507
No, not you. Move! Oh... oh!
74
00:02:52,338 --> 00:02:53,971
Give me my baby.
75
00:02:56,403 --> 00:02:58,403
Sorry, Mrs. B, she's
a little fussy.
76
00:02:58,503 --> 00:02:59,501
Oh, come here, come here.
77
00:02:59,603 --> 00:03:02,632
All she needs is her pop-pop.
78
00:03:02,801 --> 00:03:06,132
That's all. That's all, yeah.
79
00:03:06,231 --> 00:03:08,430
Go-go on, now. We good.
80
00:03:11,029 --> 00:03:13,105
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪
81
00:03:13,161 --> 00:03:14,594
♪ Welcome to the hood.
82
00:03:16,959 --> 00:03:19,391
Oh, you like your uncle now.
83
00:03:23,022 --> 00:03:25,419
Okay. Okay, okay, okay, okay.
84
00:03:25,521 --> 00:03:27,187
She's happy now.
85
00:03:27,286 --> 00:03:30,150
Time for some grandma snuggles.
86
00:03:30,251 --> 00:03:31,784
Here you go, Grandma.
87
00:03:34,516 --> 00:03:36,389
You know what? I-I must
have squeezed her too hard.
88
00:03:36,414 --> 00:03:38,314
I'm sorry, Mrs. B.
It's okay. Yeah.
89
00:03:38,413 --> 00:03:40,344
Oh, okay. Come on. Come to...
90
00:03:41,779 --> 00:03:43,810
Oh, no, no, no, Daphne.
91
00:03:43,910 --> 00:03:47,875
It's okay. It's me. Mama Tina.
92
00:03:47,975 --> 00:03:49,774
I-It's probably just too
much excitement, Mom.
93
00:03:49,875 --> 00:03:51,140
It's not you.
94
00:03:51,239 --> 00:03:53,638
You know what?
95
00:03:53,772 --> 00:03:55,270
She's probably
just hungry. Yeah.
96
00:03:55,371 --> 00:03:57,935
Oh, hungry. Yeah,
feed that baby.
97
00:03:58,035 --> 00:04:00,034
Why would you hand
me a hungry baby?
98
00:04:00,134 --> 00:04:02,101
I mean...
99
00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:03,466
Uh-oh. Dinnertime.
100
00:04:03,565 --> 00:04:05,397
Oh, we're doing this right here.
101
00:04:05,497 --> 00:04:07,097
Ooh.
102
00:04:07,198 --> 00:04:10,296
Ah, you had the stucco removed
during the remodel, huh?
103
00:04:10,395 --> 00:04:11,762
Yeah, see that...
104
00:04:11,862 --> 00:04:13,526
Guys, grow up.
105
00:04:13,627 --> 00:04:16,092
Breastfeeding is a
beautiful, natural thing.
106
00:04:16,193 --> 00:04:17,948
Oh, of course. That-that
goes without saying.
107
00:04:18,024 --> 00:04:20,757
That's... Is she
still doing it?
108
00:04:22,756 --> 00:04:24,888
So, help me out here. Given
that we're not a couple,
109
00:04:24,987 --> 00:04:28,786
uh, am I being supportive
by looking or not looking?
110
00:04:28,885 --> 00:04:30,285
It's not like you
haven't seen them.
111
00:04:30,384 --> 00:04:33,183
Right, right, but that-that
was that one time,
112
00:04:33,283 --> 00:04:35,347
when, you know, we made her.
113
00:04:36,448 --> 00:04:38,579
It's fine. You're the
father. You can look.
114
00:04:38,747 --> 00:04:39,746
Okay.
115
00:04:39,747 --> 00:04:41,112
Okay.
116
00:04:45,843 --> 00:04:47,075
Okay, I'm not gonna look.
117
00:04:47,176 --> 00:04:48,250
Yeah, please don't.
I'm not gonna look.
118
00:04:48,274 --> 00:04:49,273
Ooh, whoa, uh...
119
00:04:49,306 --> 00:04:50,473
Dad? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
120
00:04:50,572 --> 00:04:52,938
Can... let's talk way
over here, please.
121
00:04:53,038 --> 00:04:54,404
Uh, Marty,
122
00:04:54,503 --> 00:04:57,301
so the two superchargers
came in. Yeah.
123
00:04:57,403 --> 00:04:59,935
And tomorrow, I'm-a need you
to come in and check them
124
00:05:00,034 --> 00:05:03,334
to make sure we got enough
megatrons to run them.
125
00:05:04,498 --> 00:05:07,064
Okay, Dad, um...
126
00:05:08,529 --> 00:05:11,828
Megatron is the bad
guy from Transformers.
127
00:05:12,728 --> 00:05:15,358
Do you mean "megawatts"?
Yeah, him, too.
128
00:05:16,726 --> 00:05:18,325
Look, uh, Marty, you
know this tech stuff
129
00:05:18,424 --> 00:05:19,890
is out of my wheelhouse.
130
00:05:19,990 --> 00:05:21,956
All right? But we
got to be ready.
131
00:05:22,056 --> 00:05:24,320
We just signed a deal to service
132
00:05:24,421 --> 00:05:28,152
all of the electric vehicles
for the gas company.
133
00:05:28,252 --> 00:05:30,616
Okay, well, I mean, tell Stefan
to take the lead on that.
134
00:05:30,718 --> 00:05:32,117
Stefan?
135
00:05:32,216 --> 00:05:34,581
That's the kid with the
big holes in his earlobes?
136
00:05:34,716 --> 00:05:35,580
Yeah.
137
00:05:35,715 --> 00:05:37,447
Clearly, he makes bad decisions.
138
00:05:37,546 --> 00:05:39,479
No. No, I-I need you.
139
00:05:39,579 --> 00:05:41,311
I need regular earlobes.
140
00:05:41,412 --> 00:05:43,710
Okay, but-but, Dad, I'm
not gonna be in the office.
141
00:05:43,810 --> 00:05:45,142
I'm taking my paternity leave.
142
00:05:45,242 --> 00:05:47,408
Taking it?
143
00:05:47,507 --> 00:05:49,506
Who's giving it?
144
00:05:50,406 --> 00:05:52,205
We are. It's...
145
00:05:52,305 --> 00:05:53,971
It's Fusebox policy.
146
00:05:54,070 --> 00:05:55,703
No, no, no. I didn't
agree to that.
147
00:05:55,704 --> 00:05:57,502
Dad, it's in our 60-page
onboarding handbook.
148
00:05:57,602 --> 00:05:59,001
You signed it.
149
00:05:59,102 --> 00:06:02,565
I may have signed it, but I
definitely didn't read it.
150
00:06:03,799 --> 00:06:05,898
You didn't read my handbook?
151
00:06:07,962 --> 00:06:09,595
Dave, you didn't
tell me anything
152
00:06:09,697 --> 00:06:11,860
about a paternity
leave in the handbook.
153
00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:13,459
Don't you mean, "Thanks, Dave,
154
00:06:13,558 --> 00:06:16,092
"for using your years
of HR experience
155
00:06:16,192 --> 00:06:19,857
to write a free
60-page handbook"?
156
00:06:19,956 --> 00:06:23,788
All I know is, in my day, we
didn't have paternity leave.
157
00:06:23,888 --> 00:06:26,119
Your mother gave birth
to you in the morning
158
00:06:26,220 --> 00:06:28,251
and I was back to
work before noon.
159
00:06:28,351 --> 00:06:30,185
And you know how I knew that?
160
00:06:30,284 --> 00:06:34,048
Because I got a egg and
cheese biscuit on the way.
161
00:06:36,380 --> 00:06:39,145
Okay, okay, okay. Give
me that happy baby.
162
00:06:39,245 --> 00:06:40,812
Okay.
163
00:06:40,912 --> 00:06:42,310
Come on, come on.
164
00:06:42,410 --> 00:06:46,775
Oh, no, no, no, Daphne.
165
00:06:46,874 --> 00:06:49,273
Remember? We love each other.
166
00:06:51,805 --> 00:06:53,037
What?
167
00:06:53,137 --> 00:06:56,402
You know newborns. She's
probably just gassy.
168
00:06:56,502 --> 00:06:57,868
Gassy.
169
00:06:57,969 --> 00:07:00,566
Now, why would you
hand me a gassy baby?
170
00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:04,865
Calvin, you got to go to
the drugstore right now
171
00:07:04,965 --> 00:07:06,198
and get some gripe water.
172
00:07:06,297 --> 00:07:07,328
What's gripe water?
173
00:07:07,430 --> 00:07:08,963
Uh, they'll know
at the drugstore.
174
00:07:09,062 --> 00:07:10,804
Okay, well, what's it for?
Well, by the time you finish
175
00:07:10,828 --> 00:07:12,769
asking me questions, you
could've been back already.
176
00:07:12,793 --> 00:07:14,725
Go!
177
00:07:16,291 --> 00:07:19,456
Sound like you the one
need some gripe water.
178
00:07:19,557 --> 00:07:21,387
Dave? Come on.
179
00:07:22,987 --> 00:07:24,954
Are you hungry
again? Oh, my God.
180
00:07:27,786 --> 00:07:30,817
Well, the good news is there
is such thing as gripe water.
181
00:07:30,916 --> 00:07:33,481
The bad news is
that it's locked up
182
00:07:33,649 --> 00:07:35,815
like a fifth of Jim Beam.
183
00:07:35,914 --> 00:07:37,879
Look, okay, Calvin,
it's not that hard.
184
00:07:37,979 --> 00:07:40,778
Look, there's a little "get
help" button right here.
185
00:07:40,878 --> 00:07:45,008
Associate needed in
the gas relief aisle.
186
00:07:45,108 --> 00:07:46,474
Uh, uh, no, no.
187
00:07:46,642 --> 00:07:48,506
It's for a baby. Baby gas.
188
00:07:48,642 --> 00:07:50,339
I'm-I'm not gassy at all.
189
00:07:50,438 --> 00:07:52,637
Why are you so grouchy?
190
00:07:52,638 --> 00:07:54,737
Are you gassy?
191
00:07:54,836 --> 00:07:56,002
No.
192
00:07:56,103 --> 00:08:00,034
Look, it's just a very
busy time at the Fusebox.
193
00:08:00,133 --> 00:08:02,034
And all the extra
work is laying on me
194
00:08:02,133 --> 00:08:05,031
because of this
paternity leave nonsense.
195
00:08:05,131 --> 00:08:07,929
Nonsense? I took three
months off with Grover.
196
00:08:08,029 --> 00:08:09,662
Why? Gemma was there.
197
00:08:09,761 --> 00:08:11,327
What the hell were you doing?
198
00:08:11,428 --> 00:08:14,626
Bonding. Singing.
Skin-to-skin.
199
00:08:14,627 --> 00:08:16,991
Skin-to-skin?
200
00:08:17,091 --> 00:08:18,690
Yes. Skin-to-skin.
201
00:08:18,789 --> 00:08:21,387
Look, I would take my shirt off
and I would just hold Grover.
202
00:08:21,487 --> 00:08:22,987
Skin-to-skin contact
is the reason
203
00:08:23,086 --> 00:08:25,352
he and I are so
close to this day.
204
00:08:25,451 --> 00:08:27,918
Well, I kept my shirt
on. And you know why?
205
00:08:28,018 --> 00:08:29,851
Because I was at work.
206
00:08:33,149 --> 00:08:35,613
Hey.
207
00:08:35,614 --> 00:08:39,144
Now let me hold this sweet baby.
208
00:08:39,244 --> 00:08:41,177
Yes.
209
00:08:42,643 --> 00:08:44,174
Oh...
210
00:08:45,009 --> 00:08:46,241
But...
211
00:08:47,108 --> 00:08:48,308
But...
212
00:08:49,338 --> 00:08:51,039
Oh...
213
00:08:53,070 --> 00:08:55,703
Now, wait a minute!
Wait a minute!
214
00:08:56,603 --> 00:08:58,234
I know what's going on here.
215
00:08:58,335 --> 00:09:00,599
The poor little thing
is having a reaction
216
00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:03,265
to these cheap diapers
that Gemma bought!
217
00:09:03,365 --> 00:09:04,599
You can insult me all you want
218
00:09:04,698 --> 00:09:06,296
as long as I get
to hold this baby.
219
00:09:07,629 --> 00:09:09,428
Okay, you know what?
I'm gonna call Calvin.
220
00:09:09,596 --> 00:09:12,826
I'll have him get the good ones
while he's at the drugstore.
221
00:09:14,325 --> 00:09:16,057
Hey, what's up?
222
00:09:16,157 --> 00:09:19,056
Hey, we need hypoallergenic
diapers stat.
223
00:09:21,155 --> 00:09:22,393
You got to go to the drugstore.
224
00:09:22,488 --> 00:09:23,886
I just got back.
225
00:09:23,987 --> 00:09:27,618
He's just embarrassed because
they thought he had gas.
226
00:09:30,583 --> 00:09:32,083
Well, Gemma bought
cheap diapers.
227
00:09:32,182 --> 00:09:35,580
Keep 'em coming.
I'm in heaven.
228
00:09:35,581 --> 00:09:37,579
And the baby won't stop crying.
229
00:09:37,680 --> 00:09:39,745
But the baby's not crying.
230
00:09:39,845 --> 00:09:41,576
Well, she's about to cry again.
231
00:09:41,577 --> 00:09:43,176
Look, you got to go
to the drugstore.
232
00:09:43,276 --> 00:09:44,642
Go on, now.
233
00:09:46,307 --> 00:09:48,939
Hey, Dad, uh, I'm putting
the bassinet together.
234
00:09:49,039 --> 00:09:51,437
Can you lend me your drill?
And show me how to use it?
235
00:09:51,538 --> 00:09:53,503
And just do it for me?
236
00:09:53,605 --> 00:09:55,735
Hey, hey, hey. No, no and no.
237
00:09:55,836 --> 00:09:57,669
Your father's going
to get diapers now.
238
00:09:57,768 --> 00:09:59,276
Are you trying to
make it so I can never
239
00:09:59,299 --> 00:10:00,567
take my baby to my house?
240
00:10:00,667 --> 00:10:04,097
If that's the way things
have to be, then so be it.
241
00:10:05,329 --> 00:10:07,562
Hey. Hey, you know what?
242
00:10:07,664 --> 00:10:08,728
Uh, Marty,
243
00:10:08,828 --> 00:10:10,345
about this whole
paternity leave thing,
244
00:10:10,426 --> 00:10:12,226
listen, I get it now.
245
00:10:12,325 --> 00:10:13,660
Dave made some good points.
246
00:10:13,759 --> 00:10:14,758
Oh.
247
00:10:14,825 --> 00:10:16,058
Uh, did I? Which ones?
248
00:10:16,158 --> 00:10:18,157
Mm. I'll be quiet.
249
00:10:19,788 --> 00:10:21,555
Yeah, and, uh, you know
what? I get it now.
250
00:10:21,654 --> 00:10:22,721
Oh. You do?
251
00:10:22,820 --> 00:10:24,153
I do.
252
00:10:24,253 --> 00:10:26,490
A-Also, take your shirt off
when you give her the bottle.
253
00:10:26,519 --> 00:10:27,718
Oh, right, for skin-to-skin.
254
00:10:27,817 --> 00:10:29,584
No, no, no, no.
No, not that one.
255
00:10:29,684 --> 00:10:34,180
Look, but really, go ahead,
take you some time off.
256
00:10:34,280 --> 00:10:35,680
Hell, you know what?
257
00:10:35,780 --> 00:10:37,879
You can have the whole
week off if you want.
258
00:10:37,979 --> 00:10:39,878
Dad, I'm entitled
to eight weeks.
259
00:10:39,978 --> 00:10:41,743
Eight weeks? Eight
weeks to do what?
260
00:10:41,843 --> 00:10:43,584
What you gonna be
doing in eight weeks?
261
00:10:43,609 --> 00:10:45,374
What the hell you gonna do...
262
00:10:45,474 --> 00:10:46,641
H-Hello?
263
00:10:46,741 --> 00:10:47,840
Diapers!
264
00:10:52,737 --> 00:10:57,035
Associate needed in
the incontinence aisle.
265
00:10:58,368 --> 00:11:00,199
It's for a baby, sir.
266
00:11:00,299 --> 00:11:01,598
A baby.
267
00:11:01,698 --> 00:11:04,764
A-And eight weeks
for paternity leave?
268
00:11:04,864 --> 00:11:05,930
For what?
269
00:11:06,029 --> 00:11:07,795
Well, to bond.
270
00:11:07,894 --> 00:11:09,894
Dads don't bond that early.
271
00:11:09,993 --> 00:11:11,592
We don't nurse. That's a fact.
272
00:11:11,693 --> 00:11:15,558
Well, actually, I nursed Grover.
273
00:11:16,357 --> 00:11:19,422
Yeah, I wore an apparatus
that simulated a breast.
274
00:11:19,523 --> 00:11:21,954
Okay, okay. Dave, you...
275
00:11:22,055 --> 00:11:25,385
I don't need to hear any
more of your bonding stories.
276
00:11:25,519 --> 00:11:29,516
You were no more bond-ier
than I was with my boys.
277
00:11:29,517 --> 00:11:30,817
Okay, you know what?
278
00:11:30,917 --> 00:11:32,474
I bet I still have
that old daddy nurser
279
00:11:32,516 --> 00:11:33,856
at home in the attic.
I'm gonna go get it.
280
00:11:33,880 --> 00:11:35,247
No. No, no, no, no, no, no.
281
00:11:35,346 --> 00:11:36,623
I don't want it!
I don't want it!
282
00:11:36,712 --> 00:11:38,412
I don't... No, not you, sir.
283
00:11:38,512 --> 00:11:39,546
No, come back. Come back.
284
00:11:39,645 --> 00:11:41,610
I need that little key!
285
00:11:44,374 --> 00:11:46,240
Just wish I could
make Calvin understand
286
00:11:46,340 --> 00:11:48,739
why paternity leave
is so important.
287
00:11:48,838 --> 00:11:51,005
You know, bonding is
the manliest thing
288
00:11:51,105 --> 00:11:52,970
a man can do.
289
00:11:53,936 --> 00:11:55,202
Good God!
290
00:11:58,100 --> 00:11:59,667
You remember this?
291
00:11:59,766 --> 00:12:03,263
I do. I spent 14 years
trying to forget it.
292
00:12:03,364 --> 00:12:04,996
Ah, okay. You know what?
293
00:12:05,097 --> 00:12:07,995
Me going the extra mile to bond
with my son really paid off.
294
00:12:08,094 --> 00:12:10,760
And Marty is gonna regret
it if he and Daphne
295
00:12:10,860 --> 00:12:13,858
don't have the same great
memories that Grover and I have.
296
00:12:14,593 --> 00:12:15,857
Good God!
297
00:12:21,588 --> 00:12:25,652
Hey, uh, why do you have
all that baby stuff out?
298
00:12:25,751 --> 00:12:27,250
Ah, it's for Marty.
299
00:12:27,350 --> 00:12:28,859
But you know it reminded
me of all the great times
300
00:12:28,883 --> 00:12:30,816
that you and I had
when you were tiny.
301
00:12:30,915 --> 00:12:32,781
Remember how I used
to read you that book
302
00:12:32,880 --> 00:12:35,479
about the angry little bulldozer
and you would imitate him, like:
303
00:12:35,480 --> 00:12:38,612
"Vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom."
304
00:12:38,711 --> 00:12:39,943
Nope.
305
00:12:42,043 --> 00:12:43,908
What? Ah, you were
pretty young back then.
306
00:12:44,008 --> 00:12:46,606
You remember when I took
you to Safari Selina on Ice?
307
00:12:46,706 --> 00:12:48,205
I do not.
308
00:12:50,472 --> 00:12:51,837
Really?
309
00:12:51,937 --> 00:12:54,069
Wh-What about the
Michigan State Fair?
310
00:12:54,169 --> 00:12:56,067
Cows, pigs, cotton candy?
311
00:12:56,169 --> 00:12:58,533
Mm, no.
312
00:12:58,634 --> 00:13:01,298
Avalanche Bay Waterpark? No.
313
00:13:01,466 --> 00:13:03,130
Jumpy Town? The
petting zoo? No. No.
314
00:13:03,230 --> 00:13:05,029
Gymboree? No.
315
00:13:05,129 --> 00:13:06,128
Build-A-Bear? No.
316
00:13:06,163 --> 00:13:07,628
The Wiggles? Nada.
317
00:13:10,326 --> 00:13:11,560
Are you sure I was there?
318
00:13:11,659 --> 00:13:13,891
Yes, I'm sure you were there!
319
00:13:15,457 --> 00:13:16,933
I bought those Wiggles
tickets off a scalper
320
00:13:16,957 --> 00:13:19,288
in a very sketchy parking lot.
321
00:13:20,088 --> 00:13:22,919
For five times face value.
And you don't remember it?
322
00:13:23,818 --> 00:13:26,184
Oh, oh! Oh, yeah.
323
00:13:26,283 --> 00:13:27,684
Yeah, The Wiggles.
324
00:13:27,783 --> 00:13:30,882
I remem... They-they-they sang.
325
00:13:30,981 --> 00:13:32,580
And wiggled.
326
00:13:38,777 --> 00:13:40,644
All right, I got the diapers.
327
00:13:40,743 --> 00:13:42,908
Oh, damn. Oh, damn.
328
00:13:44,542 --> 00:13:46,606
Does that baby ever stop eating?
329
00:13:46,705 --> 00:13:48,271
Tell me about it.
330
00:13:48,440 --> 00:13:49,573
Oh, speaking of which,
331
00:13:49,672 --> 00:13:50,989
the next time
you're at the store,
332
00:13:51,037 --> 00:13:52,737
can you get me
some nipple cream?
333
00:13:52,836 --> 00:13:54,935
Is that a real thing?
334
00:13:56,001 --> 00:13:57,035
Oh, yeah.
335
00:13:57,134 --> 00:13:59,198
These bad boys take a beating.
336
00:13:59,298 --> 00:14:00,432
Okay, you know what?
337
00:14:00,533 --> 00:14:03,096
I just spent $75 on 12 diapers.
338
00:14:03,196 --> 00:14:05,762
I'm-a let the baby's daddy
get the nipple cream.
339
00:14:07,595 --> 00:14:08,661
Oh, come on.
340
00:14:08,761 --> 00:14:10,226
You all did this with your moms.
341
00:14:10,326 --> 00:14:12,292
Oh, that's nasty.
342
00:14:13,691 --> 00:14:16,089
Good morning, baby.
You hungry? No!
343
00:14:18,822 --> 00:14:21,653
Hey, uh, where's your brother?
344
00:14:21,754 --> 00:14:23,985
He at home, watching
a YouTube video
345
00:14:24,085 --> 00:14:27,051
on how to assemble
a Diaper Genie.
346
00:14:27,150 --> 00:14:29,416
L-Let me ask you something.
347
00:14:29,417 --> 00:14:30,882
We're close, right?
348
00:14:30,981 --> 00:14:32,491
Even though I worked a
lot when you were little?
349
00:14:32,515 --> 00:14:35,145
Is, uh, something
bothering you, Pop?
350
00:14:35,245 --> 00:14:39,810
Well, Dave says
that bonding starts
351
00:14:39,911 --> 00:14:41,510
when the baby is born.
352
00:14:41,609 --> 00:14:43,208
Well, I didn't take
a paternity leave.
353
00:14:43,309 --> 00:14:44,874
I went right back to work.
354
00:14:44,974 --> 00:14:47,639
And the truth is,
he's got me worrying
355
00:14:47,739 --> 00:14:50,070
that I didn't bond
with you boys.
356
00:14:51,036 --> 00:14:54,302
No, no, w-we did all types
of stuff together, man.
357
00:14:54,403 --> 00:14:56,467
I-I remember, when
we were little,
358
00:14:56,567 --> 00:14:58,266
you would take us to
the drive-in movies.
359
00:14:58,401 --> 00:15:00,431
That was fun. Yeah, yeah.
360
00:15:00,531 --> 00:15:02,698
You used to make us lay
down in the backseat
361
00:15:02,797 --> 00:15:04,963
so you didn't have
to pay for us.
362
00:15:06,461 --> 00:15:08,260
But-but, hey, that-that
made it exciting.
363
00:15:08,395 --> 00:15:11,391
Yep, that's why I did it.
364
00:15:11,392 --> 00:15:14,190
And remember you
used to get us up
365
00:15:14,290 --> 00:15:16,123
at the crack of
dawn on Saturdays
366
00:15:16,222 --> 00:15:19,221
and put Pit Stop coupons
on everybody's windshields?
367
00:15:19,389 --> 00:15:20,420
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
368
00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:22,087
So those were your
teenage years.
369
00:15:22,187 --> 00:15:23,828
That's when you start to
form a work ethic, you know?
370
00:15:23,851 --> 00:15:26,384
I was in the second grade.
371
00:15:27,385 --> 00:15:29,016
Marty was four.
372
00:15:29,115 --> 00:15:30,915
Oh.
373
00:15:31,014 --> 00:15:33,046
Okay, yeah, well, that
was a little young.
374
00:15:33,146 --> 00:15:34,580
Okay, yeah, but-but it did,
375
00:15:34,680 --> 00:15:36,378
you know, it did
build some character.
376
00:15:36,379 --> 00:15:37,678
I mean, you always said,
377
00:15:37,778 --> 00:15:40,375
"Kickball don't
keep the lights on."
378
00:15:40,376 --> 00:15:42,808
Yeah, that sound like me.
379
00:15:44,174 --> 00:15:45,674
Aw.
380
00:15:45,774 --> 00:15:48,771
Look at my happy girl.
381
00:15:50,403 --> 00:15:53,369
Ooh. That was a good burp.
382
00:15:53,370 --> 00:15:55,268
Okay, all right now.
383
00:15:55,368 --> 00:15:57,167
Okay. Come on to Grandma.
384
00:15:57,267 --> 00:15:58,367
There we go.
385
00:15:58,368 --> 00:16:00,130
Oh.
386
00:16:00,231 --> 00:16:02,596
Come on.
387
00:16:02,698 --> 00:16:04,664
Why do you hate me?
388
00:16:04,763 --> 00:16:06,095
I love you.
389
00:16:06,195 --> 00:16:08,093
I don't know what
it is, Mrs. B.
390
00:16:08,194 --> 00:16:10,359
Maybe you're giving
"pick me" energy.
391
00:16:12,525 --> 00:16:14,723
What kind of energy
am I giving, now?
392
00:16:15,890 --> 00:16:18,821
I don't know, but I'm giving
"I apologize" energy, so...
393
00:16:19,887 --> 00:16:22,985
Well, I mean, she was fine
until I touched her bottom.
394
00:16:23,085 --> 00:16:24,752
It could be diaper rash.
395
00:16:24,852 --> 00:16:26,117
It sure could be.
396
00:16:26,217 --> 00:16:28,881
Well, why would you hand
me a rashy-ass baby?
397
00:16:30,248 --> 00:16:32,114
She needs ointment. Calvin!
398
00:16:32,213 --> 00:16:33,613
Yeah. Yeah, I'm going.
399
00:16:33,713 --> 00:16:35,712
I'm going. I'm going, I'm going.
400
00:16:35,812 --> 00:16:39,043
I might as well get a job
at the store at this point.
401
00:16:40,409 --> 00:16:42,342
Dave! Let's go!
402
00:16:45,706 --> 00:16:49,439
Associate needed in the
fungal ointment aisle.
403
00:16:49,539 --> 00:16:52,935
Yeah, that's right,
it's fungus this time.
404
00:16:53,736 --> 00:16:57,367
I'm more mushroom than
I am man at this point.
405
00:16:57,467 --> 00:17:00,865
Now, this man is
basically shiitake! Hey.
406
00:17:01,696 --> 00:17:03,496
Dave, calm down, okay?
407
00:17:03,597 --> 00:17:04,629
Are you all right?
408
00:17:04,730 --> 00:17:06,329
No, I'm not all right.
409
00:17:06,429 --> 00:17:08,305
Grover doesn't remember any of
the things that we bonded over.
410
00:17:08,328 --> 00:17:10,425
Have you ever seen
Safari Selina on Ice?
411
00:17:10,526 --> 00:17:12,790
♪ When you're looking
at something far away ♪
412
00:17:12,890 --> 00:17:14,823
♪ There's only one thing
that you've got to say ♪
413
00:17:14,924 --> 00:17:17,188
♪ Telescope, telescope,
telescope, hooray! ♪
414
00:17:17,323 --> 00:17:18,987
You know how long that song was?
415
00:17:19,086 --> 00:17:21,320
Eight minutes. You know many
other verses there were?
416
00:17:21,420 --> 00:17:23,018
None!
417
00:17:24,051 --> 00:17:25,483
Okay, so what is your point?
418
00:17:25,584 --> 00:17:28,650
My point is, I've suffered.
419
00:17:28,749 --> 00:17:30,314
And for what?
420
00:17:30,315 --> 00:17:31,655
He doesn't even
remember any of it.
421
00:17:31,679 --> 00:17:34,978
Well, unfortunately,
my boys do remember.
422
00:17:35,078 --> 00:17:36,577
Malcolm remembers me
423
00:17:36,677 --> 00:17:39,208
breaking child labor
laws when he was seven.
424
00:17:41,309 --> 00:17:43,807
Calvin, you don't need to
make up horrible stories
425
00:17:43,907 --> 00:17:45,839
just to make me feel better.
426
00:17:47,372 --> 00:17:49,670
Look, I've always
been a workaholic.
427
00:17:49,770 --> 00:17:52,568
I-I just don't want
Marty to be like me.
428
00:17:52,669 --> 00:17:56,167
Okay, look, well, you probably
don't want to hear this,
429
00:17:56,301 --> 00:17:59,031
but it's never too late
for... skin-to-skin.
430
00:17:59,131 --> 00:18:00,889
Don't you say it. Don't
you say skin-to-skin.
431
00:18:00,964 --> 00:18:03,331
Don't you say skin-to-skin!
432
00:18:04,296 --> 00:18:06,174
All right, Calvin, give
me a buzz when it's time
433
00:18:06,295 --> 00:18:07,859
to go back to the drugstore.
434
00:18:07,959 --> 00:18:10,293
Don't take your shoes off.
435
00:18:14,089 --> 00:18:15,823
♪ If you're looking at
something far away ♪
436
00:18:15,923 --> 00:18:17,821
♪ There's only one thing
you've got to say ♪
437
00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:20,553
♪ Telescope, telescope,
telescope... ♪
438
00:18:23,818 --> 00:18:25,149
♪ Hooray.
439
00:18:27,948 --> 00:18:29,282
You remember.
440
00:18:29,382 --> 00:18:30,482
R-Remember what?
441
00:18:30,581 --> 00:18:33,280
Th-The song. You
remember the song.
442
00:18:33,380 --> 00:18:34,613
Oh, th...
443
00:18:34,712 --> 00:18:36,511
I don't know where
that came from.
444
00:18:36,611 --> 00:18:37,843
It's terrible.
445
00:18:37,942 --> 00:18:39,942
I know, isn't it?!
446
00:18:42,574 --> 00:18:43,939
Hey, I got the rash cream.
447
00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:45,339
Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
448
00:18:45,438 --> 00:18:46,972
She's holding my finger.
449
00:18:47,072 --> 00:18:48,305
Oh.
450
00:18:48,405 --> 00:18:49,647
You know, that's
what I was gonna say
451
00:18:49,671 --> 00:18:50,949
about the paternity leave thing.
452
00:18:51,035 --> 00:18:52,268
Oh, here we go.
453
00:18:52,269 --> 00:18:54,001
No. No, no, no, no.
454
00:18:54,100 --> 00:18:55,400
I want you to take it.
455
00:18:55,501 --> 00:18:59,164
I mean, take all the
time that you need.
456
00:18:59,265 --> 00:19:02,264
Wow. Where'd this come from?
457
00:19:03,496 --> 00:19:04,962
I'm evolving.
458
00:19:06,693 --> 00:19:10,724
I mean, that little baby
squishing your pinky right now,
459
00:19:10,825 --> 00:19:12,758
she's your most
important priority,
460
00:19:12,857 --> 00:19:14,922
beyond anything else.
461
00:19:15,021 --> 00:19:16,688
Don't worry about the
Fusebox, all right?
462
00:19:16,788 --> 00:19:19,520
Stephan can handle
the megalodons.
463
00:19:20,152 --> 00:19:21,886
Marty!
464
00:19:21,985 --> 00:19:24,284
Good God! Sorry.
465
00:19:25,484 --> 00:19:26,883
Marty, I got a present for you.
466
00:19:26,983 --> 00:19:29,282
Calvin, eyes up here.
467
00:19:38,943 --> 00:19:40,676
Don't-don't-don't cry.
468
00:19:40,775 --> 00:19:41,908
Don't cry. It's okay.
469
00:19:43,407 --> 00:19:46,105
Oh. Oh.
470
00:19:46,239 --> 00:19:47,804
Um, uh, Marty!
471
00:19:47,903 --> 00:19:50,069
G-Get me some hand sanitizer!
472
00:19:51,568 --> 00:19:53,135
Marty!
473
00:19:53,236 --> 00:19:54,700
Calvin?!
474
00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:56,899
Oh.
475
00:19:56,998 --> 00:20:00,397
It just breaks my heart
to hear my Daphne cry.
476
00:20:02,063 --> 00:20:03,330
Okay, shh, shh, shh. Okay.
477
00:20:03,430 --> 00:20:04,794
Okay. Okay.
478
00:20:04,894 --> 00:20:08,459
Whether you like me or
not, I'm gonna pick you up.
479
00:20:08,559 --> 00:20:10,091
Okay. I know.
480
00:20:10,192 --> 00:20:11,625
D-Don't cry, don't cry.
481
00:20:11,725 --> 00:20:13,089
Don't cry. Don't cry.
482
00:20:13,191 --> 00:20:14,789
I know, baby, I know.
483
00:20:14,889 --> 00:20:16,222
I know.
484
00:20:16,323 --> 00:20:18,553
I know.
485
00:20:21,752 --> 00:20:23,883
You don't hate me.
486
00:20:26,217 --> 00:20:28,015
Oh.
487
00:20:31,013 --> 00:20:34,178
You hate the hand sanitizer!
488
00:20:35,877 --> 00:20:37,743
Oh, oh.
489
00:20:37,842 --> 00:20:40,475
Oh, Daphne.
490
00:20:40,574 --> 00:20:44,472
But why didn't
you just say that?
491
00:20:49,203 --> 00:20:52,202
Captioning sponsored by CBS
492
00:20:52,203 --> 00:20:54,901
and TOYOTA.
493
00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:58,432
Captioned by Media Access
Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
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