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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,739 --> 00:00:02,605 For those of you who are too fucking busy, 2 00:00:02,657 --> 00:00:05,608 here's what happened last week on Shameless. 3 00:00:05,610 --> 00:00:07,443 Fuck it. 4 00:00:07,445 --> 00:00:10,246 [rock music] 5 00:00:10,282 --> 00:00:11,414 Is Dom here? 6 00:00:11,449 --> 00:00:14,450 I was thinking you and me... 7 00:00:14,452 --> 00:00:17,360 Yeah. Okay. 8 00:00:17,880 --> 00:00:19,289 I cannot get visa with my husband in prison. 9 00:00:19,291 --> 00:00:20,757 What if you divorce Mickey 10 00:00:20,792 --> 00:00:22,258 and somebody else marries you? 11 00:00:22,294 --> 00:00:24,260 Oh. 12 00:00:24,296 --> 00:00:26,629 Fiona, will you marry me? 13 00:00:26,681 --> 00:00:28,631 Yeah. [laughs] 14 00:00:28,683 --> 00:00:29,599 What's this? 15 00:00:29,634 --> 00:00:30,634 Hey, Frankie, baby. 16 00:00:30,685 --> 00:00:32,101 We're off to the commune. 17 00:00:32,137 --> 00:00:34,304 That sounds nice. Are we taking the van? 18 00:00:34,306 --> 00:00:35,805 [Ian] I like having a purpose, 19 00:00:35,857 --> 00:00:38,107 studying to be an EMT. 20 00:00:38,143 --> 00:00:39,893 Feels like I'm back to my old self. 21 00:00:39,945 --> 00:00:40,945 Meaning... 22 00:00:40,979 --> 00:00:42,645 Skeletons. Closet. 23 00:00:42,697 --> 00:00:44,981 - I'm bipolar. - I'm HIV positive. 24 00:00:45,330 --> 00:00:46,816 - Oh. - You haven't been tested? 25 00:00:46,868 --> 00:00:47,901 No. 26 00:00:47,953 --> 00:00:49,736 ♪ 27 00:00:49,788 --> 00:00:51,487 Hair of the dog? 28 00:00:51,489 --> 00:00:53,990 When's the last time you stopped for a couple of hours? 29 00:00:54,420 --> 00:00:55,825 Try it. Hydrate. 30 00:00:55,877 --> 00:00:57,243 Get a good night's sleep. 31 00:00:57,295 --> 00:00:59,629 By morning, you'll be as good as new. 32 00:00:59,664 --> 00:01:01,414 - [coughs] - [machine beeping] 33 00:01:01,466 --> 00:01:03,333 What the fuck? 34 00:01:03,335 --> 00:01:05,501 I'd rather be riddled with bullets 35 00:01:05,503 --> 00:01:08,400 than spend one more hour in this place. 36 00:01:08,600 --> 00:01:09,973 [gunfire] 37 00:01:10,800 --> 00:01:12,141 These people care about me and my baby. 38 00:01:12,177 --> 00:01:14,930 This is where I want to raise my child. 39 00:01:14,145 --> 00:01:16,679 There's something you should see. 40 00:01:16,681 --> 00:01:18,648 Here we are. 41 00:01:18,683 --> 00:01:20,350 You're farming opium? 42 00:01:20,352 --> 00:01:21,517 [chuckles] 43 00:01:21,569 --> 00:01:23,586 It's beautiful. 44 00:01:24,248 --> 00:01:30,542 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 45 00:01:30,662 --> 00:01:33,630 ♪ rock music ♪ 46 00:01:33,665 --> 00:01:37,533 ♪ 47 00:01:37,585 --> 00:01:40,870 ♪ Think of all the luck you got ♪ 48 00:01:40,872 --> 00:01:44,700 ♪ Know that it's not for naught ♪ 49 00:01:44,420 --> 00:01:47,430 ♪ You were beaming once before ♪ 50 00:01:47,950 --> 00:01:51,631 ♪ But it's not like that anymore ♪ 51 00:01:51,683 --> 00:01:54,851 ♪ What is this downside ♪ 52 00:01:54,886 --> 00:01:58,221 ♪ That you speak of? ♪ 53 00:01:58,223 --> 00:02:00,523 ♪ What is this feeling ♪ 54 00:02:00,558 --> 00:02:05,280 ♪ You're so sure of? ♪ 55 00:02:05,630 --> 00:02:10,660 ♪ 56 00:02:12,370 --> 00:02:15,154 ♪ Round up the friends you got ♪ 57 00:02:15,206 --> 00:02:18,324 ♪ Know that they're not for naught ♪ 58 00:02:18,376 --> 00:02:21,711 ♪ You were willing once before ♪ 59 00:02:21,746 --> 00:02:25,999 ♪ But it's not like that anymore ♪ 60 00:02:26,510 --> 00:02:29,252 ♪ What is this downside ♪ 61 00:02:29,254 --> 00:02:32,922 ♪ That you speak of? ♪ 62 00:02:32,974 --> 00:02:34,891 ♪ What is this feeling ♪ 63 00:02:34,926 --> 00:02:38,628 ♪ You're so sure of? ♪ 64 00:02:38,868 --> 00:02:41,668 [Debbie screaming] 65 00:02:41,704 --> 00:02:45,380 [Debbie] Aah! This hurts so much! 66 00:02:45,400 --> 00:02:46,840 Queenie! 67 00:02:46,876 --> 00:02:48,208 Aah! 68 00:02:48,260 --> 00:02:49,877 Hey. Are you all right? 69 00:02:49,879 --> 00:02:51,128 I think I felt something. 70 00:02:51,180 --> 00:02:53,130 [groans] Like a cramp. 71 00:02:53,480 --> 00:02:54,298 Did it hurt? 72 00:02:54,350 --> 00:02:55,883 [groans] I'm not due for another week. 73 00:02:55,935 --> 00:02:58,135 Mother nature knows no clock. 74 00:02:58,187 --> 00:03:00,304 Orgasms can induce. 75 00:03:00,356 --> 00:03:02,389 I'm surprised the baby didn't pop out days ago, 76 00:03:02,391 --> 00:03:04,310 the way you've been strumming your guitar. 77 00:03:04,590 --> 00:03:05,559 A-am I in labor? 78 00:03:05,561 --> 00:03:06,393 Is the baby coming? 79 00:03:06,445 --> 00:03:07,561 No, just relax. 80 00:03:07,613 --> 00:03:09,313 Not for a while, okay? 81 00:03:09,365 --> 00:03:11,565 But still, I think we should go. 82 00:03:11,617 --> 00:03:12,733 Go where? 83 00:03:12,735 --> 00:03:15,319 To the birthing tent. 84 00:03:15,371 --> 00:03:16,904 Oh. 85 00:03:16,906 --> 00:03:18,489 [laughs softly] 86 00:03:18,541 --> 00:03:22,420 What a beautiful day to grow poppies. 87 00:03:22,770 --> 00:03:23,744 Whoo-hoo! 88 00:03:23,746 --> 00:03:26,663 You're lucky that cat couldn't aim for shit. 89 00:03:26,715 --> 00:03:29,249 Careful, once cougars get a taste, 90 00:03:29,251 --> 00:03:31,510 they come back for more. 91 00:03:31,860 --> 00:03:33,504 [groovy music playing] 92 00:03:33,556 --> 00:03:36,590 Not too much, Moon. 93 00:03:36,642 --> 00:03:38,910 [Jupiter] Frank. 94 00:03:38,143 --> 00:03:40,727 You're supposed to be working compost. 95 00:03:40,763 --> 00:03:43,597 You spend the day in a steaming pile of excrement. 96 00:03:43,649 --> 00:03:45,349 I'll be in here with the opium. 97 00:03:45,401 --> 00:03:47,734 I run the warehouse. 98 00:03:47,770 --> 00:03:50,354 I thought we share everything on the commune. 99 00:03:50,406 --> 00:03:54,240 Opium, compost, Queenie. 100 00:03:54,760 --> 00:03:56,109 Except when it comes to orgasms. 101 00:03:56,161 --> 00:03:58,612 Those Queenie only shares with me. 102 00:03:58,664 --> 00:04:00,414 Do you want some constructive criticism? 103 00:04:00,449 --> 00:04:02,950 - No. - You put Queenie to sleep. 104 00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:04,585 There's no rhythm. 105 00:04:04,620 --> 00:04:07,788 Your penis is like a sexual lullaby. 106 00:04:07,790 --> 00:04:10,424 You got to treat a woman like a poppy. 107 00:04:10,459 --> 00:04:11,758 Know when to be gentle, 108 00:04:11,794 --> 00:04:13,126 and when to be rough. 109 00:04:13,178 --> 00:04:14,461 Give 'em what they need, 110 00:04:14,513 --> 00:04:17,464 you'll have the best high you ever had. 111 00:04:17,516 --> 00:04:19,883 ♪ 112 00:04:19,935 --> 00:04:22,936 [rattling] 113 00:04:26,859 --> 00:04:28,475 What's with the slumber party? 114 00:04:28,527 --> 00:04:30,644 Oh. The babies awake? 115 00:04:30,646 --> 00:04:33,146 Not yet. You didn't come to bed. 116 00:04:33,198 --> 00:04:35,782 Oh, we were celebrating, and I fell asleep. 117 00:04:35,818 --> 00:04:37,985 - Celebrating what? - I get divorce. 118 00:04:37,987 --> 00:04:39,486 - Woot woot! - [sighs] 119 00:04:39,488 --> 00:04:41,455 The papers came through. Lana is single. 120 00:04:41,490 --> 00:04:42,956 Mm! 121 00:04:42,992 --> 00:04:43,957 Lana? 122 00:04:43,993 --> 00:04:45,576 Yes, what V calls me. 123 00:04:45,628 --> 00:04:47,327 What, you have a pet name for her? 124 00:04:47,379 --> 00:04:49,413 - It helps sell it. - Sell what? 125 00:04:49,465 --> 00:04:51,810 Our loving dyke relationship. 126 00:04:51,133 --> 00:04:52,165 [laughter] 127 00:04:52,217 --> 00:04:54,134 No. No, no, no, no, no. 128 00:04:54,169 --> 00:04:55,669 We dropped the whole marriage idea. 129 00:04:55,671 --> 00:04:57,337 - You drop. - I'm not talking to you. 130 00:04:57,389 --> 00:04:59,973 V, marriage is a sacred institution. 131 00:05:00,900 --> 00:05:01,508 It's just for immigration. 132 00:05:01,560 --> 00:05:04,428 You're talking about being married to another person. 133 00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:06,930 - You are. - Yeah, okay, so? 134 00:05:06,982 --> 00:05:09,683 But--look, you and I aren't married on paper, right? 135 00:05:09,735 --> 00:05:11,268 But that doesn't change how I feel. 136 00:05:11,320 --> 00:05:13,186 Me neither. It's not a big deal. 137 00:05:13,238 --> 00:05:14,771 Give blessing. Is least you can do. 138 00:05:14,823 --> 00:05:17,107 Hey, you the one who outed her to the INS. 139 00:05:17,159 --> 00:05:20,527 Stop ganging up on me. 140 00:05:20,529 --> 00:05:22,696 There are other options besides marriage. 141 00:05:22,748 --> 00:05:24,310 What? Immigration is gonna put her 142 00:05:24,330 --> 00:05:25,532 back on the next boat to Moscow. 143 00:05:25,534 --> 00:05:27,340 - I'll figure it out. - No time. 144 00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:29,202 I'll fix it by the end of the day, okay? 145 00:05:29,254 --> 00:05:32,706 Just...no more pet names. 146 00:05:34,900 --> 00:05:35,676 Found more newspaper. 147 00:05:35,711 --> 00:05:37,511 Uh, wrap the frames in it. 148 00:05:37,546 --> 00:05:38,712 Is that Sean's shirt? 149 00:05:38,764 --> 00:05:40,297 Yeah. 150 00:05:40,349 --> 00:05:42,182 [sighs] You're supposed to be packing it. 151 00:05:42,217 --> 00:05:44,384 Meeting my girlfriend for breakfast. 152 00:05:44,386 --> 00:05:46,530 I didn't know you two were official. 153 00:05:46,105 --> 00:05:48,472 She told her dad. He flipped out. 154 00:05:48,524 --> 00:05:50,223 Dads can be protective sometimes, 155 00:05:50,225 --> 00:05:52,359 but he'll be all right when he meets you. 156 00:05:52,394 --> 00:05:53,477 He already did. 157 00:05:53,529 --> 00:05:54,695 Well, how'd it go? 158 00:05:54,730 --> 00:05:56,863 Chased me with a bat. 159 00:05:56,899 --> 00:05:58,650 [door opens] 160 00:05:58,117 --> 00:05:59,483 [Sean] I found a spot out front. 161 00:05:59,535 --> 00:06:02,350 I didn't have to double-park the U-Haul. 162 00:06:02,710 --> 00:06:04,710 Think I know where to get a wedding dress. 163 00:06:04,123 --> 00:06:06,390 - Oh, yeah? - Mm-hmm. 164 00:06:06,750 --> 00:06:07,908 I'm gonna stop by some florists later, too. 165 00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:09,910 And a reception hall, if I have the time. 166 00:06:09,962 --> 00:06:11,745 Wow, you're really going all out. 167 00:06:11,747 --> 00:06:14,810 I'm fucking happy that I got it right this time. 168 00:06:14,133 --> 00:06:17,217 I want to celebrate it right. 169 00:06:17,252 --> 00:06:18,585 It's all your fault. 170 00:06:18,587 --> 00:06:19,886 You did this to me. 171 00:06:19,922 --> 00:06:22,756 Sorry. 172 00:06:22,758 --> 00:06:24,841 Better not be having second thoughts. 173 00:06:24,893 --> 00:06:28,562 No, it's too late. I sold my furniture. 174 00:06:28,597 --> 00:06:30,130 I talked to Will. 175 00:06:30,650 --> 00:06:31,231 And? 176 00:06:31,266 --> 00:06:33,160 And he's happy to be my best man. 177 00:06:33,680 --> 00:06:36,570 He, um, he's not that crazy about wearing a tux. 178 00:06:36,605 --> 00:06:38,105 What about your ex? 179 00:06:38,107 --> 00:06:40,107 Actually, she said she was happy for us. 180 00:06:40,109 --> 00:06:41,775 Except the moving in part. 181 00:06:41,777 --> 00:06:43,944 Well, we're gonna do a full sweep of the house 182 00:06:43,996 --> 00:06:45,696 with a metal detector, right, Carl? 183 00:06:45,748 --> 00:06:48,415 Yup, I'm gonna make sure it's a demilitarized zone. 184 00:06:48,450 --> 00:06:52,520 So Nikole's got nothing to worry about. 185 00:06:52,870 --> 00:06:55,380 [chimes ringing] 186 00:06:55,900 --> 00:06:56,873 [Queenie] Knock, knock. 187 00:06:56,925 --> 00:06:57,958 Hi. 188 00:06:57,960 --> 00:06:59,593 Just getting things ready 189 00:06:59,628 --> 00:07:01,440 for the blessed day. 190 00:07:01,960 --> 00:07:03,930 Ah, this is Fern, our midwife. 191 00:07:03,966 --> 00:07:05,932 And she has delivered dozens of babies. 192 00:07:05,968 --> 00:07:08,301 I look forward to guiding your child 193 00:07:08,303 --> 00:07:09,970 on his journey out of your womb 194 00:07:10,220 --> 00:07:12,556 into this beautiful world. 195 00:07:12,608 --> 00:07:13,807 - Where's the bed? - Oh. 196 00:07:13,859 --> 00:07:15,308 Mother nature never intended us 197 00:07:15,360 --> 00:07:18,645 to give birth on a mattress. 198 00:07:18,697 --> 00:07:20,480 [Debbie] Oh, what's that? 199 00:07:20,482 --> 00:07:22,649 - Could use some Clorox. - Oh, no. 200 00:07:22,651 --> 00:07:25,902 We leave that there on purpose. 201 00:07:25,954 --> 00:07:27,320 Afterbirth. 202 00:07:27,322 --> 00:07:29,489 It connects each delivery to the next, 203 00:07:29,491 --> 00:07:32,750 like glorious links in a chain. 204 00:07:32,127 --> 00:07:34,294 - [knocking] - [Jupiter] Queenie? 205 00:07:34,329 --> 00:07:35,662 Got a minute? 206 00:07:35,664 --> 00:07:37,164 - Oh, yeah. - You're leaving? 207 00:07:37,166 --> 00:07:39,833 No, no, no, your baby is not coming out anytime soon. 208 00:07:39,835 --> 00:07:42,636 You're in wonderful hands. 209 00:07:42,671 --> 00:07:46,590 We can use this to time your contractions. 210 00:07:46,642 --> 00:07:48,800 Ah, that's all right. 211 00:07:48,100 --> 00:07:50,594 We'll just count out loud. 212 00:07:50,646 --> 00:07:53,513 When is the last time you delivered a baby? 213 00:07:53,515 --> 00:07:56,160 '83, I think. 214 00:07:57,186 --> 00:07:59,190 [door opens] 215 00:07:59,710 --> 00:08:00,200 Hey. 216 00:08:00,720 --> 00:08:02,105 Ah. Thanks. 217 00:08:02,157 --> 00:08:03,857 Yeah, yeah. Of course. 218 00:08:03,859 --> 00:08:06,326 It's, uh, my pleasure to keep you barely functional. 219 00:08:06,361 --> 00:08:08,111 - Here you go. - What happened to your eye? 220 00:08:08,163 --> 00:08:09,446 Oh, fuck, I wish I knew. 221 00:08:09,498 --> 00:08:11,331 I, uh, went to a sorority party. 222 00:08:11,366 --> 00:08:12,699 Had a few too many. 223 00:08:12,701 --> 00:08:14,201 Jeez, you're up early. 224 00:08:14,253 --> 00:08:16,286 What, it's too cold to sleep in your car? 225 00:08:16,338 --> 00:08:18,789 Ever had a dingleberry you couldn't shake? 226 00:08:18,841 --> 00:08:20,340 Tried baby wipes? 227 00:08:20,375 --> 00:08:21,792 It's a metaphor. 228 00:08:21,844 --> 00:08:23,960 Dennison's on my ass. Midterm grades are due. 229 00:08:24,120 --> 00:08:26,546 Yeah, I'm working on it. Tell Dennison to chill out. 230 00:08:26,548 --> 00:08:28,882 You don't tell the head of the department to chill out. 231 00:08:28,934 --> 00:08:32,219 You give her the midterm grades by the end of the day. 232 00:08:33,555 --> 00:08:36,556 All right. I'll get them done. 233 00:08:39,394 --> 00:08:40,894 What's that? 234 00:08:40,896 --> 00:08:42,729 My paper's getting published later today. 235 00:08:42,781 --> 00:08:45,398 They requested a photo. 236 00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:47,734 Holy shit. That's you? 237 00:08:47,736 --> 00:08:49,319 Other than a DUI mug shot, 238 00:08:49,371 --> 00:08:51,710 it's the only recent picture I could find. 239 00:08:51,730 --> 00:08:52,706 Wow, you know, you actually look 240 00:08:52,741 --> 00:08:56,209 like a respected member of the academic community. 241 00:08:57,579 --> 00:09:00,831 Have you prepared for your internship interview? 242 00:09:00,883 --> 00:09:03,216 Prepare? What? I got to sell myself to work for free? 243 00:09:03,252 --> 00:09:05,385 [sighs] Good internships are hard to get. 244 00:09:05,420 --> 00:09:07,254 Very competitive. 245 00:09:07,306 --> 00:09:08,672 Nah, sounds like some millennial, 246 00:09:08,724 --> 00:09:10,390 Ivy League crap to me. 247 00:09:10,425 --> 00:09:11,925 You're on scholarship. 248 00:09:11,927 --> 00:09:14,100 You have a prestigious teaching assistant position. 249 00:09:14,620 --> 00:09:15,762 It's time to stop thinking in terms of 250 00:09:15,814 --> 00:09:17,764 what a job pays, and start thinking in terms 251 00:09:17,766 --> 00:09:19,933 of building a career. 252 00:09:19,985 --> 00:09:21,601 In the meantime, get your shit together. 253 00:09:21,653 --> 00:09:24,905 And turn in my midterm grades for my class. 254 00:09:27,109 --> 00:09:28,775 So. 255 00:09:28,777 --> 00:09:31,278 [indistinct restaurant chatter] 256 00:09:31,330 --> 00:09:33,280 You two having sex? 257 00:09:33,332 --> 00:09:35,115 - Dad! - No, Mr. Winslow. 258 00:09:35,117 --> 00:09:38,585 Sergeant Winslow. 259 00:09:40,589 --> 00:09:42,205 Carl treats me with respect. 260 00:09:42,257 --> 00:09:43,590 One time, when it was cold, 261 00:09:43,625 --> 00:09:46,293 he gave me his jacket. 262 00:09:47,963 --> 00:09:49,129 See? 263 00:09:49,181 --> 00:09:50,797 Where'd you get the money for that? 264 00:09:50,849 --> 00:09:52,966 - Working. - The corner? 265 00:09:53,180 --> 00:09:54,718 I wash dishes here. 266 00:09:54,770 --> 00:09:55,969 Dad, stop it. 267 00:09:55,971 --> 00:09:57,971 You asked me to sit down with the boy. 268 00:09:57,973 --> 00:10:01,441 Give him a chance. 269 00:10:05,447 --> 00:10:08,481 Okay. 270 00:10:08,533 --> 00:10:10,150 Let's go. 271 00:10:10,202 --> 00:10:12,819 Come on. 272 00:10:19,628 --> 00:10:23,463 [sighs] I don't usually get nervous before tests. 273 00:10:23,498 --> 00:10:25,832 They tell you pretty fast if you're positive or negative. 274 00:10:25,884 --> 00:10:27,417 I'm not talking about HIV. 275 00:10:27,469 --> 00:10:30,303 The EMT practical this afternoon. 276 00:10:30,339 --> 00:10:31,421 You serious? 277 00:10:31,473 --> 00:10:33,256 [door opens] 278 00:10:33,308 --> 00:10:36,509 Morning. My name is Nurse Edmonds. 279 00:10:36,561 --> 00:10:38,678 Have you been tested for HIV before? 280 00:10:38,730 --> 00:10:40,180 - No. - I just poke your finger. 281 00:10:40,182 --> 00:10:41,314 Take a little blood. 282 00:10:41,350 --> 00:10:43,266 We get the results while you wait. 283 00:10:43,318 --> 00:10:45,318 I need to ask you a few questions. 284 00:10:47,220 --> 00:10:50,230 Approximately how many sexual partners have you had? 285 00:10:51,526 --> 00:10:53,860 Um... 286 00:10:57,866 --> 00:10:59,783 It's hard to say. 287 00:10:59,835 --> 00:11:03,336 Normally we discuss this in private with the patient. 288 00:11:03,372 --> 00:11:06,373 You want me to leave? 289 00:11:09,344 --> 00:11:12,712 No problem. I'll wait outside. 290 00:11:18,387 --> 00:11:19,552 [door closes] 291 00:11:19,554 --> 00:11:21,221 So, more than ten partners? 292 00:11:21,223 --> 00:11:24,240 ♪ funk music ♪ 293 00:11:24,590 --> 00:11:25,225 You working today, son? 294 00:11:25,227 --> 00:11:26,893 No. 295 00:11:26,895 --> 00:11:28,561 You can ride with me. 296 00:11:28,563 --> 00:11:30,230 We'll get to know each other better. 297 00:11:30,232 --> 00:11:31,564 Sound good? 298 00:11:31,566 --> 00:11:34,670 Mm, that sounds great. Thanks, Dad. 299 00:11:34,119 --> 00:11:37,700 Anything for my little girl. 300 00:11:37,720 --> 00:11:38,571 ♪ 301 00:11:38,573 --> 00:11:40,573 Call me. 302 00:11:40,575 --> 00:11:44,244 ♪ 303 00:11:44,296 --> 00:11:46,546 I'm gonna drive you around. 304 00:11:46,581 --> 00:11:49,833 Make the girl happy, but don't get any ideas. 305 00:11:49,885 --> 00:11:52,836 I still think you're a piece of shit. 306 00:11:52,888 --> 00:11:55,255 ♪ 307 00:11:55,307 --> 00:11:57,173 It's in here somewhere. 308 00:11:57,225 --> 00:11:58,945 I didn't think your wedding was gonna become 309 00:11:58,977 --> 00:12:00,727 an annual tradition like Thanksgiving. 310 00:12:00,762 --> 00:12:03,960 I asked Lip and Ian to walk me down the aisle. 311 00:12:03,148 --> 00:12:05,932 The ink's barely dry on your divorce. 312 00:12:05,984 --> 00:12:07,767 Why are you giving me a hard time? 313 00:12:07,819 --> 00:12:10,403 I love you, but if you're gonna change your mind, do it 314 00:12:10,439 --> 00:12:12,772 before I shell out the money for your bachelorette party tonight. 315 00:12:12,774 --> 00:12:14,190 I'm not changing my mind. 316 00:12:14,242 --> 00:12:16,359 And it wasn't my idea to have it this early. 317 00:12:16,411 --> 00:12:18,278 Look, I am not showing up to your wedding 318 00:12:18,330 --> 00:12:19,612 all bloated and looking like shit. 319 00:12:19,614 --> 00:12:21,581 I need time to recuperate. 320 00:12:21,616 --> 00:12:22,916 Uh, weeks? 321 00:12:22,951 --> 00:12:24,784 I plan on drinking a lot. 322 00:12:24,786 --> 00:12:27,620 [gasps] I found it. 323 00:12:27,672 --> 00:12:30,590 Where did Monica get the bread for a wedding dress? 324 00:12:30,625 --> 00:12:33,426 This was back when her parents had a little money. 325 00:12:33,462 --> 00:12:34,961 And they approved of the first wedding. 326 00:12:34,963 --> 00:12:36,460 First? 327 00:12:36,980 --> 00:12:37,597 She married Frank twice. 328 00:12:37,632 --> 00:12:39,549 First time only lasted a week. 329 00:12:39,601 --> 00:12:41,468 She locked him in the trunk of the car. 330 00:12:41,520 --> 00:12:44,637 Left him in the Kmart parking lot for days. 331 00:12:44,689 --> 00:12:46,639 Debs, we never talked baby names. 332 00:12:46,641 --> 00:12:48,580 - [knocks on tent] - What do you think about 333 00:12:48,110 --> 00:12:50,110 naming her after your great-grandmother? 334 00:12:50,145 --> 00:12:51,945 She was a vicious cunt, but 335 00:12:51,980 --> 00:12:54,640 "Rose Gallagher" has a-- a ring to it, 336 00:12:54,116 --> 00:12:55,148 don't you think? 337 00:12:55,150 --> 00:12:56,649 What are you doing, Frank? 338 00:12:56,701 --> 00:12:57,817 Checking on my daughter. 339 00:12:57,869 --> 00:12:59,119 Oh, she's not in there. 340 00:12:59,154 --> 00:13:00,987 We took her to the birthing tent. 341 00:13:01,390 --> 00:13:03,573 - Debs is in labor? - Well, maybe. 342 00:13:03,625 --> 00:13:06,409 But if she is, the baby won't come for a day or two. 343 00:13:06,461 --> 00:13:07,577 - Okay. - All right. 344 00:13:07,629 --> 00:13:09,629 Oh, and you've been challenged. 345 00:13:09,664 --> 00:13:11,131 Come again? 346 00:13:11,166 --> 00:13:12,999 Well, if there's a grievance in the community, 347 00:13:13,100 --> 00:13:16,419 we cut it right out before it has a chance to grow. 348 00:13:16,471 --> 00:13:17,670 - I'm not following. - Okay. 349 00:13:17,722 --> 00:13:19,422 When we try to avoid conflict, 350 00:13:19,474 --> 00:13:22,175 anger comes out, but when we face it head on, 351 00:13:22,177 --> 00:13:23,760 we leave the anger there. 352 00:13:23,812 --> 00:13:26,513 In the Pit. 353 00:13:26,565 --> 00:13:27,981 The Pit? 354 00:13:28,160 --> 00:13:30,984 ♪ tribal drum music ♪ 355 00:13:31,190 --> 00:13:35,855 ♪ 356 00:13:37,659 --> 00:13:40,777 I thought I'd seen some pretty weird shit in my life. 357 00:13:40,829 --> 00:13:43,997 Do you accept my challenge? 358 00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:46,833 Um... 359 00:13:46,868 --> 00:13:48,201 I guess. 360 00:13:48,203 --> 00:13:50,703 ♪ 361 00:13:50,705 --> 00:13:55,708 [horn bellows] 362 00:13:55,710 --> 00:13:58,845 ♪ 363 00:13:58,880 --> 00:14:00,213 [Debbie] What was that? 364 00:14:00,215 --> 00:14:01,881 A challenge. 365 00:14:01,883 --> 00:14:04,184 Haven't had one of those in a while. 366 00:14:04,219 --> 00:14:05,219 [chuckles] 367 00:14:07,522 --> 00:14:09,889 [sighs] 368 00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:15,610 - Oh, negative. - Good. 369 00:14:15,630 --> 00:14:17,630 So how'd everything else go in there? 370 00:14:17,115 --> 00:14:18,648 Fine. 371 00:14:18,700 --> 00:14:21,151 That's it? 372 00:14:21,203 --> 00:14:24,154 Yeah, I got to go do my EMT test now. 373 00:14:24,206 --> 00:14:25,655 Wish me luck. 374 00:14:25,707 --> 00:14:27,240 Good luck. 375 00:14:27,242 --> 00:14:31,770 ♪ 376 00:14:31,129 --> 00:14:33,246 [Harmony] Brother Jupiter has come with a grievance 377 00:14:33,298 --> 00:14:34,547 against brother Frank. 378 00:14:34,583 --> 00:14:35,999 After one of you taps out, 379 00:14:36,510 --> 00:14:39,850 the grievance will be left at the Pit. 380 00:14:39,137 --> 00:14:40,253 What are the rules? 381 00:14:40,255 --> 00:14:41,504 [Jupiter] No rules. 382 00:14:41,556 --> 00:14:44,507 [tribal drum music] 383 00:14:44,559 --> 00:14:46,593 ♪ 384 00:14:46,595 --> 00:14:49,950 [both grunting] 385 00:14:49,970 --> 00:14:50,970 Aah! 386 00:14:50,148 --> 00:14:51,764 [groans] 387 00:14:51,766 --> 00:14:54,934 ♪ 388 00:14:54,986 --> 00:14:56,736 Aah! 389 00:14:56,771 --> 00:14:58,771 - I can't breathe! - I know! 390 00:14:58,823 --> 00:15:00,406 Aah! 391 00:15:00,442 --> 00:15:02,442 - [gasps] - Say "Uncle!" 392 00:15:02,444 --> 00:15:04,444 [gasping] 393 00:15:04,446 --> 00:15:06,790 Aah! 394 00:15:06,114 --> 00:15:07,447 [both grunting] 395 00:15:07,449 --> 00:15:08,615 Yeah! 396 00:15:08,667 --> 00:15:10,950 - Aah! No! No! No! - Oh, yeah! 397 00:15:11,200 --> 00:15:12,368 Okay! Aah! 398 00:15:12,420 --> 00:15:13,786 - Aah! Aah! - Say it! 399 00:15:13,788 --> 00:15:16,206 Aah! Uncle! 400 00:15:16,258 --> 00:15:18,925 [laughing] 401 00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:21,127 [cheering] 402 00:15:21,179 --> 00:15:23,429 [laughs] Yes! 403 00:15:23,465 --> 00:15:24,681 [applause] 404 00:15:27,769 --> 00:15:28,968 Man... 405 00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:30,386 Who you waiting for, Kev? 406 00:15:30,438 --> 00:15:32,138 This guy who says he can keep Svetlana 407 00:15:32,140 --> 00:15:34,557 from being deported, so V doesn't have to marry her. 408 00:15:34,609 --> 00:15:37,443 So you want to keep the Russian girl from marrying V 409 00:15:37,479 --> 00:15:38,945 'cause V's your fake wife? 410 00:15:38,980 --> 00:15:40,446 Yeah, what's so hard to understand about that? 411 00:15:40,482 --> 00:15:41,481 Their marriage would be fake. 412 00:15:41,533 --> 00:15:43,149 No, it'd be real. 413 00:15:43,201 --> 00:15:45,652 So, you want to keep them from getting real-married 414 00:15:45,704 --> 00:15:47,453 because you're fake-married 415 00:15:47,489 --> 00:15:49,822 and you want to get real-married someday? 416 00:15:49,824 --> 00:15:50,990 Yeah. 417 00:15:51,420 --> 00:15:52,158 No--I don't know. 418 00:15:52,210 --> 00:15:53,626 Stop making my head hurt. 419 00:15:53,662 --> 00:15:54,994 It doesn't matter. The point is, 420 00:15:55,460 --> 00:15:57,664 is that the guy can get Svetlana a new identity. 421 00:15:57,666 --> 00:15:58,965 Where did you meet him? 422 00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:00,300 Ever hear of the Internet? 423 00:16:00,335 --> 00:16:02,100 I got a hooker on the Internet once. 424 00:16:02,530 --> 00:16:03,636 - Once? - [chuckles] 425 00:16:03,672 --> 00:16:05,588 The point is, one time it wasn't a hooker. 426 00:16:05,640 --> 00:16:06,673 It was a cop. 427 00:16:06,675 --> 00:16:08,641 - No shit? - I had no idea. 428 00:16:08,677 --> 00:16:11,940 She got great reviews on ebonytrick.com. 429 00:16:11,146 --> 00:16:12,950 - [snickers] - I didn't know 430 00:16:12,147 --> 00:16:13,313 you were into black girls. 431 00:16:13,348 --> 00:16:14,480 Oh, yeah. 432 00:16:14,516 --> 00:16:16,649 V's number one in my spank bank. 433 00:16:16,685 --> 00:16:19,180 You're beating your meat to my wife? 434 00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:20,153 Technically, she's not your wife. 435 00:16:20,188 --> 00:16:21,521 Shut up, Kermit! 436 00:16:21,523 --> 00:16:22,605 ♪ rock music ♪ 437 00:16:22,657 --> 00:16:24,230 - Oh, yeah! - [moaning] 438 00:16:24,250 --> 00:16:27,110 - Yeah, Moon! Oh, Yeah! - Oh! 439 00:16:27,162 --> 00:16:29,329 [both moaning] 440 00:16:29,364 --> 00:16:31,114 Pound it! Pound it! 441 00:16:31,166 --> 00:16:32,532 Pound it! Pound! 442 00:16:32,584 --> 00:16:34,334 No! Pound! 443 00:16:34,369 --> 00:16:36,202 - [grunts] - Yeah! 444 00:16:36,204 --> 00:16:39,205 Oh! 445 00:16:39,207 --> 00:16:40,390 ♪ 446 00:16:40,410 --> 00:16:41,400 Thanks. 447 00:16:41,420 --> 00:16:42,800 Hey. 448 00:16:42,430 --> 00:16:43,543 I'm Phillip Gallagher. 449 00:16:43,545 --> 00:16:44,794 - Come in. - Hi. 450 00:16:44,846 --> 00:16:46,879 You're, uh, Youens' TA. 451 00:16:46,931 --> 00:16:48,798 Yeah. Yeah. You--you're interviewing me? 452 00:16:48,850 --> 00:16:50,383 Yeah. 453 00:16:50,435 --> 00:16:52,185 I'm 25, but I can't grow a beard for shit. 454 00:16:52,220 --> 00:16:53,886 - Ah. - Nowadays, 455 00:16:53,888 --> 00:16:55,888 the younger you look, the smarter they think you are. 456 00:16:55,940 --> 00:16:57,690 What's your GPA? 457 00:16:57,726 --> 00:16:59,392 Uh, 3.9. 458 00:16:59,444 --> 00:17:01,811 Why not 4.0? 459 00:17:01,863 --> 00:17:03,563 Uh, a teacher had it out for me 460 00:17:03,615 --> 00:17:05,565 after I corrected her algorithm. 461 00:17:05,617 --> 00:17:07,567 Uh, she called me obnoxious, 462 00:17:07,619 --> 00:17:09,152 I called her a lazy fuck. 463 00:17:09,204 --> 00:17:11,154 - Was she? - She was coasting on tenure. 464 00:17:11,206 --> 00:17:12,905 Oh, you won't have that problem with us. 465 00:17:12,957 --> 00:17:15,325 No one at Chapman cares how many years you've put in. 466 00:17:15,377 --> 00:17:16,743 Only what ideas you have. 467 00:17:16,745 --> 00:17:18,911 - Great. - Where'd you work last summer? 468 00:17:18,963 --> 00:17:20,546 Uh, demolition. 469 00:17:20,582 --> 00:17:22,248 Is that the name of a startup? 470 00:17:22,300 --> 00:17:24,717 No, no, it's when you, uh, take down a building and 471 00:17:24,753 --> 00:17:27,420 you haul the pieces away. 472 00:17:27,422 --> 00:17:28,921 Why aren't you going back? 473 00:17:28,923 --> 00:17:30,757 Uh... 474 00:17:30,759 --> 00:17:32,425 I guess it's just time to start 475 00:17:32,477 --> 00:17:34,394 thinking in terms of my career. 476 00:17:34,429 --> 00:17:36,620 You know, look, I could tell you 477 00:17:36,970 --> 00:17:37,764 all about wave function collapse, 478 00:17:37,766 --> 00:17:40,266 but I'm--I'm sure all you want to know is, 479 00:17:40,268 --> 00:17:42,402 will I get your coffee with a smile? 480 00:17:42,437 --> 00:17:44,404 Not exactly coffee, but definitely the crap work 481 00:17:44,439 --> 00:17:45,905 no one else wants to do. 482 00:17:45,940 --> 00:17:47,607 - Right. - You willing to pay your dues? 483 00:17:47,609 --> 00:17:50,109 Did I mention I hauled slabs of concrete last summer? 484 00:17:50,111 --> 00:17:51,577 ♪ rock music ♪ 485 00:17:51,613 --> 00:17:53,279 I will be administering your psychomotor, 486 00:17:53,331 --> 00:17:54,864 or practical, test today. 487 00:17:54,916 --> 00:17:57,367 You will be expected to perform the following: 488 00:17:57,419 --> 00:17:59,919 assessment and management of a trauma patient, 489 00:17:59,954 --> 00:18:02,755 bag-valve-mask ventilation of an apneic patient, 490 00:18:02,791 --> 00:18:05,958 spinal immobilization, traction splinting, 491 00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:08,127 bleeding control and shock management, 492 00:18:08,129 --> 00:18:11,547 upper airway adjuncts, and suction. 493 00:18:11,599 --> 00:18:15,601 ♪ 494 00:18:22,944 --> 00:18:25,610 No one used to care what happened here 495 00:18:25,113 --> 00:18:27,897 before the yuppie money started coming in. 496 00:18:27,949 --> 00:18:31,901 Just shithead on shithead violence. 497 00:18:31,953 --> 00:18:34,787 If you were slinging drugs back then, 498 00:18:34,823 --> 00:18:37,290 5-0 wouldn't have given a crap. 499 00:18:37,325 --> 00:18:39,959 I'm straight now. 500 00:18:39,994 --> 00:18:43,579 - Oh, you think I'm stupid. - No, sir. 501 00:18:43,631 --> 00:18:46,480 Hmm. 502 00:18:47,502 --> 00:18:49,252 How 'bout Mitt Romney, Junior, there? 503 00:18:49,304 --> 00:18:52,171 Think he's straight? 504 00:18:52,173 --> 00:18:54,173 Let's find out. 505 00:18:57,979 --> 00:19:00,313 Hey, Mr. Tea Party. 506 00:19:00,348 --> 00:19:02,348 - Let me see your hands. - What did I do? 507 00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:06,185 Put both hands on the hood of the car now. 508 00:19:19,250 --> 00:19:20,616 [sighs] 509 00:19:20,668 --> 00:19:25,171 What are we gonna do with you? Hm? 510 00:19:30,678 --> 00:19:34,263 Get the fuck out of here before I change my mind. 511 00:19:35,717 --> 00:19:37,717 You coming? 512 00:19:39,554 --> 00:19:42,210 No offense, but I thought you were a hand whore. 513 00:19:42,560 --> 00:19:44,560 I use my hands for many things. 514 00:19:44,580 --> 00:19:46,250 I just thought she could save you some dough. 515 00:19:46,600 --> 00:19:48,270 [gasps] Ooh, look, you can walk down 516 00:19:48,620 --> 00:19:50,396 an aisle of rose petals for less than a grand. 517 00:19:50,398 --> 00:19:52,732 I think the Four Seasons Maui is right up your alley. 518 00:19:52,784 --> 00:19:54,744 We haven't decided where we're gonna tie the knot. 519 00:19:54,786 --> 00:19:57,203 I want to do it right this time. 520 00:19:57,238 --> 00:19:58,404 You don't need a marriage license for that. 521 00:19:58,406 --> 00:19:59,989 You just need a good man. 522 00:20:00,410 --> 00:20:02,208 My marriage was to violent, low-I.Q. homosexual. 523 00:20:02,243 --> 00:20:03,576 I don't care. 524 00:20:03,628 --> 00:20:06,379 Marriage is government document only--green card. 525 00:20:06,414 --> 00:20:08,915 Well, I don't want this wedding to be like the last time. 526 00:20:08,967 --> 00:20:10,583 In and out of the courthouse, 527 00:20:10,585 --> 00:20:12,752 then a shift at the diner, back to Gus's after, 528 00:20:12,754 --> 00:20:14,253 eating leftovers-- we acted like our wedding 529 00:20:14,305 --> 00:20:16,550 was no big deal. 530 00:20:16,900 --> 00:20:17,924 Maybe that's why the marriage didn't work out. 531 00:20:17,976 --> 00:20:19,225 The marriage didn't work out 532 00:20:19,260 --> 00:20:20,726 'cause you had the hots for Sean. 533 00:20:20,762 --> 00:20:21,844 A wedding should be special, 534 00:20:21,896 --> 00:20:23,896 with friends and family there. 535 00:20:23,932 --> 00:20:26,432 - Debbie? - Yeah, of course. 536 00:20:26,484 --> 00:20:28,601 Still hoping she'll give the baby up. 537 00:20:28,653 --> 00:20:31,200 Oh, you want to get rid of the baby, give it to me. 538 00:20:31,720 --> 00:20:34,740 I get top dollar for white baby with no defects. 539 00:20:34,776 --> 00:20:36,442 [gasping] Is the baby coming soon? 540 00:20:36,444 --> 00:20:38,945 Ooh, maybe by tomorrow. 541 00:20:38,997 --> 00:20:40,446 - Tomorrow? - Hey. 542 00:20:40,448 --> 00:20:42,448 How's my little trooper? 543 00:20:42,450 --> 00:20:44,700 I--I need drugs. Get me drugs, please. 544 00:20:44,752 --> 00:20:47,870 We don't do drugs--well, at least not for childbirth. 545 00:20:47,922 --> 00:20:50,957 M--maybe I should go to a hospital. 546 00:20:50,959 --> 00:20:53,426 All doctors care about is cutting out babies 547 00:20:53,461 --> 00:20:55,595 so that they can make it to their golf game. 548 00:20:55,630 --> 00:20:57,463 Got to let nature take its course. 549 00:20:57,515 --> 00:20:59,131 Aah! Fuck nature! 550 00:20:59,133 --> 00:21:01,300 Get this baby out of me! 551 00:21:01,352 --> 00:21:04,353 [TV chatter] 552 00:21:12,113 --> 00:21:14,146 - You Kevin? - Who's asking? 553 00:21:14,148 --> 00:21:16,482 I'm Damon. From Craigslist. 554 00:21:16,484 --> 00:21:18,451 How do I really know it's you? 555 00:21:18,486 --> 00:21:21,654 I could show you my license, I guess. 556 00:21:21,706 --> 00:21:23,823 You must really think I'm stupid. 557 00:21:23,875 --> 00:21:25,741 What? 558 00:21:25,793 --> 00:21:29,245 Like cops can't make a fake license? 559 00:21:29,297 --> 00:21:30,463 You think I'm a cop? 560 00:21:30,498 --> 00:21:31,797 Are you? 561 00:21:31,833 --> 00:21:33,249 No. 562 00:21:33,301 --> 00:21:36,200 That's exactly what a cop would say. 563 00:21:36,540 --> 00:21:39,672 Do you want a fake identity or not, man? 564 00:21:43,478 --> 00:21:44,844 Okay, you seem cool. 565 00:21:44,846 --> 00:21:47,313 Sweet. 566 00:21:47,348 --> 00:21:50,850 I found three deceased people whose identities could work. 567 00:21:53,404 --> 00:21:56,405 - This is a dude. - You said it was a rush job. 568 00:22:00,411 --> 00:22:02,361 This chick died in 1977. 569 00:22:02,413 --> 00:22:04,864 Svetlana's like 100 years younger with great tits. 570 00:22:04,866 --> 00:22:08,868 Okay, this last one might be what you're looking for. 571 00:22:08,870 --> 00:22:10,536 What kind of name is Fatima? 572 00:22:10,588 --> 00:22:14,290 Egyptian, I think. 573 00:22:14,342 --> 00:22:16,420 Russian, Egyptian? 574 00:22:16,440 --> 00:22:17,627 Who's gonna know the difference, right? 575 00:22:17,679 --> 00:22:20,680 We got a deal? 576 00:22:26,540 --> 00:22:28,540 Fatima. 577 00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:29,555 [Moon] Ooh! Whoo-hoo-hoo! 578 00:22:29,607 --> 00:22:32,580 Oh, my God. Moon. 579 00:22:32,110 --> 00:22:34,727 You are insatiable. 580 00:22:34,779 --> 00:22:36,395 My turn. 581 00:22:36,397 --> 00:22:39,148 Well, after the way he handled himself at the Pit, 582 00:22:39,200 --> 00:22:40,900 I want a taste of this fresh meat. 583 00:22:40,902 --> 00:22:42,680 Hands off, Harmony. 584 00:22:42,120 --> 00:22:43,486 Mm. 585 00:22:43,538 --> 00:22:46,238 Mm-mm. Mm-mm. 586 00:22:46,290 --> 00:22:48,908 - Limp on in, dear. - Oh. 587 00:22:48,910 --> 00:22:50,576 Frank. 588 00:22:50,628 --> 00:22:52,411 You will always be my Moon, 589 00:22:52,463 --> 00:22:55,247 but you must allow another to be my sun. 590 00:22:55,249 --> 00:22:57,249 [sniffs] 591 00:23:03,474 --> 00:23:05,474 [phone chimes] 592 00:23:07,595 --> 00:23:08,928 [sniffles] 593 00:23:09,931 --> 00:23:11,514 Oh, shit. 594 00:23:11,566 --> 00:23:13,899 [sighs] 595 00:23:18,272 --> 00:23:21,357 What the hell? 596 00:23:21,409 --> 00:23:23,275 - Did you get my messages? - Yeah, no, I just-- 597 00:23:23,327 --> 00:23:24,694 I'm in the middle of something. 598 00:23:24,746 --> 00:23:26,862 I can do whatever you need in a couple minutes. 599 00:23:26,914 --> 00:23:28,781 What I need is for you to leave immediately. 600 00:23:28,833 --> 00:23:30,750 Sooner, if possible. 601 00:23:30,785 --> 00:23:33,285 Um...wait, what? 602 00:23:33,337 --> 00:23:35,454 You're fired, obviously. 603 00:23:35,456 --> 00:23:37,123 No. Why? 604 00:23:37,125 --> 00:23:38,874 You really don't know? 605 00:23:38,926 --> 00:23:40,793 No one else from the party can forget. 606 00:23:40,795 --> 00:23:43,629 The party? No, I um... 607 00:23:43,631 --> 00:23:45,264 I kind of blacked out. I-- 608 00:23:45,299 --> 00:23:47,466 Not before you took all the group sorority photos 609 00:23:47,468 --> 00:23:49,268 off the wall and used a marker 610 00:23:49,303 --> 00:23:51,270 to circle all the girls that you slept with. 611 00:23:51,305 --> 00:23:52,605 Fuck, I did that? 612 00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:54,306 When I told you you had to leave, 613 00:23:54,358 --> 00:23:57,643 you, uh, decided to mark your territory. 614 00:23:57,645 --> 00:23:58,811 Mark my territory? 615 00:23:58,863 --> 00:24:00,613 You peed on the carpet. 616 00:24:00,648 --> 00:24:02,648 And then all the other group photos. 617 00:24:02,700 --> 00:24:03,983 All the way back to '98. 618 00:24:03,985 --> 00:24:05,568 Oh, um... 619 00:24:05,620 --> 00:24:06,986 Look, I... 620 00:24:07,380 --> 00:24:10,623 I've had a really crappy couple of weeks. 621 00:24:10,658 --> 00:24:13,826 Okay, you know, and I was just blowing off some steam. 622 00:24:13,828 --> 00:24:16,912 I mean, I got dumped, I got kicked out of my dorm room... 623 00:24:16,964 --> 00:24:19,165 Yeah, the, uh, photos weren't the final target 624 00:24:19,217 --> 00:24:21,584 of your yellow tsunami. 625 00:24:21,636 --> 00:24:23,502 Where else? 626 00:24:23,554 --> 00:24:26,388 Not where. Who. 627 00:24:28,142 --> 00:24:31,143 I peed on you. 628 00:24:34,150 --> 00:24:35,514 I'll be out in an hour. 629 00:24:35,566 --> 00:24:36,515 - Yeah. - [clears throat] 630 00:24:36,567 --> 00:24:39,518 ♪ rock music ♪ 631 00:24:39,570 --> 00:24:41,270 ♪ 632 00:24:41,322 --> 00:24:44,230 Oh, and I told student counseling about what happened. 633 00:24:44,750 --> 00:24:46,158 They'll need to talk to you today. 634 00:24:46,194 --> 00:24:51,197 ♪ 635 00:24:58,372 --> 00:25:01,123 You get some kind of kick out of that? 636 00:25:01,175 --> 00:25:02,374 Excuse me? 637 00:25:02,426 --> 00:25:04,510 Stopping that guy with the rock. 638 00:25:04,545 --> 00:25:07,546 Oh, you're asking me why I jacked him up? 639 00:25:07,598 --> 00:25:09,298 'Cause I want him to know. 640 00:25:09,350 --> 00:25:11,133 Clean duds don't fool me. 641 00:25:11,185 --> 00:25:14,220 I know who he is, just like I know who you are. 642 00:25:14,222 --> 00:25:15,855 I know you served time. 643 00:25:15,890 --> 00:25:19,240 I know you think you're good enough for my daughter. 644 00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:22,610 I'm not good enough for her. She's awesome. 645 00:25:22,113 --> 00:25:24,230 I don't even know why she likes me, 646 00:25:24,232 --> 00:25:25,898 but as long as she does, 647 00:25:25,900 --> 00:25:27,650 I'm gonna do whatever she asks. 648 00:25:27,702 --> 00:25:31,453 Even if it means spending a day with her asshole father. 649 00:25:33,791 --> 00:25:35,324 [dispatcher] Any available unit. 650 00:25:35,376 --> 00:25:37,493 Stolen blue pickup going north on South Langley 651 00:25:37,545 --> 00:25:39,328 past East 67th. 652 00:25:39,380 --> 00:25:41,747 A-57, show me handling. 653 00:25:41,799 --> 00:25:43,582 [tires peeling out] 654 00:25:43,634 --> 00:25:46,335 [siren wailing] 655 00:25:46,387 --> 00:25:49,255 [both moaning] 656 00:25:49,307 --> 00:25:51,560 Wanna--wanna flip over? 657 00:25:51,920 --> 00:25:53,425 Oh, I--I can't do doggy style. 658 00:25:53,427 --> 00:25:55,561 My bad leg. I'll topple over. 659 00:25:55,596 --> 00:25:56,929 [laughter] 660 00:25:56,981 --> 00:25:58,848 Nay problemo. 661 00:25:58,900 --> 00:26:02,670 Just don't stop doing what you're doing to my balls. 662 00:26:02,103 --> 00:26:03,185 Uh, balls? 663 00:26:03,237 --> 00:26:05,938 [grunts] Feels fantastic. 664 00:26:05,990 --> 00:26:07,239 I'm not. 665 00:26:07,275 --> 00:26:08,607 [chuckles] 666 00:26:08,609 --> 00:26:09,942 Uh... 667 00:26:09,944 --> 00:26:13,245 We share everything on the commune. 668 00:26:13,281 --> 00:26:14,780 [laughs] 669 00:26:14,782 --> 00:26:18,200 [funky music] 670 00:26:18,252 --> 00:26:19,952 Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 671 00:26:19,954 --> 00:26:21,620 - Aah! - [grunts] 672 00:26:21,672 --> 00:26:25,457 ♪ 673 00:26:25,459 --> 00:26:26,625 ♪ It goes hey ♪ 674 00:26:26,677 --> 00:26:28,761 ♪ The war is on outside ♪ 675 00:26:28,796 --> 00:26:31,263 ♪ This ain't a sound clash turn it up high said hey ♪ 676 00:26:31,299 --> 00:26:33,766 ♪ Fists up toward the night sky ♪ 677 00:26:33,801 --> 00:26:35,935 ♪ And light it up with a battle cry ♪ 678 00:26:35,970 --> 00:26:38,804 ♪ My people, you hear the rain coming ♪ 679 00:26:38,856 --> 00:26:41,730 ♪ You gotta stand fast or just keep running ♪ 680 00:26:41,108 --> 00:26:43,475 ♪ Hey, this life is a long fight ♪ 681 00:26:43,527 --> 00:26:46,610 ♪ Even when the lightning strikes ♪ 682 00:26:46,113 --> 00:26:47,279 He's running. 683 00:26:47,315 --> 00:26:48,948 Stay in the car. 684 00:26:48,983 --> 00:26:50,816 A-57, in foot pursuit. 685 00:26:50,818 --> 00:26:52,151 ♪ Feel me cry from your grace ♪ 686 00:26:52,203 --> 00:26:54,153 ♪ Tears streak down my cheek ♪ 687 00:26:54,155 --> 00:26:55,988 ♪ Every crease in my face is a stroke of war paint ♪ 688 00:26:55,990 --> 00:26:57,990 ♪ Just a battlefield journalist ♪ 689 00:26:58,420 --> 00:26:59,491 ♪ Capturing this picture of a combat mission from a... ♪ 690 00:26:59,543 --> 00:27:01,493 Hey, stop! 691 00:27:01,545 --> 00:27:03,662 ♪ War against the inner that's riddled with imperfection ♪ 692 00:27:03,714 --> 00:27:05,831 ♪ My sword swung high as the storm subsides ♪ 693 00:27:05,883 --> 00:27:08,467 ♪ Yo, I was not made just so I could decay ♪ 694 00:27:08,502 --> 00:27:11,300 ♪ These songs aren't played just so we can get paid ♪ 695 00:27:11,550 --> 00:27:12,137 Who the hell are you? 696 00:27:12,173 --> 00:27:15,700 The law, motherfucker. 697 00:27:15,900 --> 00:27:16,842 ♪ 698 00:27:16,894 --> 00:27:19,110 You respond to a scene where a victim has fallen 699 00:27:19,630 --> 00:27:20,512 out of a third floor window. 700 00:27:20,564 --> 00:27:21,981 Upon arrival, your patient 701 00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:23,682 is lying supine in the street. 702 00:27:23,684 --> 00:27:25,651 - This my only patient? - It is. 703 00:27:25,686 --> 00:27:27,152 Sir, can you hear me? 704 00:27:27,188 --> 00:27:29,104 He appears unresponsive. Is he breathing? 705 00:27:29,156 --> 00:27:31,230 Yes. 706 00:27:31,250 --> 00:27:33,525 Checking pulses. 707 00:27:33,527 --> 00:27:36,280 - Checking carotid. - Pulses are weak. 708 00:27:36,300 --> 00:27:38,364 Okay, I'm going to do a quick rapid trauma. 709 00:27:38,366 --> 00:27:41,367 ♪ exciting music ♪ 710 00:27:41,369 --> 00:27:43,350 ♪ 711 00:27:43,370 --> 00:27:44,870 Suspect he may have a spinal injury. 712 00:27:44,922 --> 00:27:46,538 I'm going to grab c-spine. 713 00:27:46,540 --> 00:27:48,507 Excellent. 714 00:27:48,542 --> 00:27:53,545 ♪ 715 00:27:55,182 --> 00:27:58,183 [indistinct radio chatter] 716 00:28:01,722 --> 00:28:03,889 I told you to stay in the car. 717 00:28:03,891 --> 00:28:06,892 Don't hit your head on the way in, punk. 718 00:28:06,894 --> 00:28:09,895 [radio chatter continues] 719 00:28:17,204 --> 00:28:18,871 [Moon] He was pity-fucking you, you gimp! 720 00:28:18,906 --> 00:28:21,407 - Ladies! - How dare you call me a gimp! 721 00:28:21,459 --> 00:28:23,709 - You gimp! - That's unbelievable! 722 00:28:23,744 --> 00:28:26,412 - Come on, ladies-- - Hey! 723 00:28:26,414 --> 00:28:28,831 We can barely hear ourselves chanting in there. 724 00:28:28,883 --> 00:28:30,382 What is going on? What's the ruckus? 725 00:28:30,418 --> 00:28:31,917 Uh, these two. 726 00:28:31,969 --> 00:28:34,670 - Fighting over yours truly. - Fighting over you? 727 00:28:34,722 --> 00:28:36,880 I didn't realize you hippie chicks 728 00:28:36,140 --> 00:28:38,900 are tired of the same five shriveled dicks 729 00:28:38,920 --> 00:28:39,591 you've had for the last 40 years. 730 00:28:39,643 --> 00:28:42,177 I've hit the mother lode. 731 00:28:42,229 --> 00:28:43,595 Well, the grandmother lode. 732 00:28:43,597 --> 00:28:44,596 How's Debbie doing? 733 00:28:44,598 --> 00:28:46,398 You laid with Moon and Harmony? 734 00:28:46,434 --> 00:28:47,933 Hey, give her credit. 735 00:28:47,985 --> 00:28:50,686 Osteoporosis doesn't slow her down at all. 736 00:28:50,738 --> 00:28:52,104 - And you were right-- - Aah! 737 00:28:52,106 --> 00:28:53,772 Hey, easy! 738 00:28:53,824 --> 00:28:56,358 What about free love and all that "Rolling Stone" crap? 739 00:28:56,410 --> 00:28:57,860 Frankie is mine! 740 00:28:57,912 --> 00:28:59,278 Oh, Queenie, nobody belongs to anybody! 741 00:28:59,280 --> 00:29:01,613 - He is mine! - All right, stop! 742 00:29:01,615 --> 00:29:03,248 Stop! 743 00:29:03,284 --> 00:29:06,618 [chicken clucks] 744 00:29:06,670 --> 00:29:09,671 To the Pit. 745 00:29:13,794 --> 00:29:15,127 Sean? 746 00:29:15,179 --> 00:29:17,629 [Sean] Upstairs. 747 00:29:19,133 --> 00:29:21,133 [approaching footsteps] 748 00:29:22,520 --> 00:29:23,769 You took down the slide. 749 00:29:23,804 --> 00:29:24,970 Well, that wasn't a slide. 750 00:29:25,220 --> 00:29:26,939 It was a death-defying free fall. 751 00:29:26,974 --> 00:29:28,307 Getting rid of the bar next. 752 00:29:28,359 --> 00:29:31,643 So, I found Monica's wedding dress. 753 00:29:31,645 --> 00:29:33,612 I'm having it altered. 754 00:29:33,647 --> 00:29:36,448 I think it might actually turn out really pretty. 755 00:29:36,484 --> 00:29:37,816 I know this sounds crazy, 756 00:29:37,868 --> 00:29:39,818 but I kind of want to get married 757 00:29:39,820 --> 00:29:41,904 in a church. 758 00:29:41,956 --> 00:29:43,405 Now we're talking. 759 00:29:43,457 --> 00:29:44,457 [laughs softly] 760 00:29:44,492 --> 00:29:46,325 St. Katherine's gets you hot? 761 00:29:46,377 --> 00:29:47,993 If you're in nothing but that. 762 00:29:48,450 --> 00:29:49,328 Don't get any ideas. 763 00:29:49,380 --> 00:29:51,413 I'm changing for the bachelorette party. 764 00:29:51,465 --> 00:29:53,332 You got more time before you got to go. 765 00:29:53,384 --> 00:29:55,167 No sex before the wedding. 766 00:29:55,169 --> 00:29:57,169 Ah, no, I c-- 767 00:29:57,171 --> 00:29:58,504 couldn't possibly have heard that right. 768 00:29:58,556 --> 00:29:59,838 It's tradition. 769 00:29:59,840 --> 00:30:01,340 Yeah, so's the bride being a virgin. 770 00:30:01,392 --> 00:30:02,508 Gus and I got married 771 00:30:02,560 --> 00:30:04,843 after a crazy, intense sex bender. 772 00:30:04,845 --> 00:30:07,179 Pretty sure I didn't need to know that part. 773 00:30:07,181 --> 00:30:10,182 This time's gonna be different. 774 00:30:11,819 --> 00:30:13,519 But, look, if you want 775 00:30:13,521 --> 00:30:16,772 all the wedding hoopla, you got it. 776 00:30:16,824 --> 00:30:18,690 But... 777 00:30:18,692 --> 00:30:19,858 our marriage is gonna be 778 00:30:19,860 --> 00:30:22,945 different than the other one. 779 00:30:22,997 --> 00:30:25,864 Because it's us. 780 00:30:27,535 --> 00:30:30,119 Did you say all that just 'cause you want to get laid? 781 00:30:30,171 --> 00:30:32,955 No. No, but, uh... 782 00:30:33,700 --> 00:30:35,700 did it improve my chances? 783 00:30:35,420 --> 00:30:36,708 - Yes, it did. - Mm-mm. Mm-mm! 784 00:30:36,710 --> 00:30:38,877 You got to be--are you... 785 00:30:38,879 --> 00:30:41,460 - [door closes] - Shittin' me? 786 00:30:45,519 --> 00:30:47,769 [sighs] 787 00:30:50,191 --> 00:30:51,723 Hi, Phillip. 788 00:30:51,775 --> 00:30:53,225 - I'm Yvonne. - Hi, nice to meet you. 789 00:30:53,277 --> 00:30:55,227 Uh, look, could we, uh, get this over with 790 00:30:55,229 --> 00:30:57,196 so I can go find someplace to live? 791 00:30:57,231 --> 00:30:59,640 [chuckles] 792 00:30:59,660 --> 00:31:02,151 Um, how often do you drink, Phillip? 793 00:31:02,203 --> 00:31:03,702 Is this about the other night? 794 00:31:03,737 --> 00:31:05,904 You violated the school's alcohol policy. 795 00:31:05,906 --> 00:31:08,407 Sorry, the school has an alcohol policy? 796 00:31:08,409 --> 00:31:10,409 Yeah, and we take it seriously. 797 00:31:10,411 --> 00:31:13,245 Okay, you do realize that the majority of students 798 00:31:13,297 --> 00:31:14,663 on this campus drink so much 799 00:31:14,715 --> 00:31:16,415 they could major in beer pong? 800 00:31:16,417 --> 00:31:18,217 We're not talking about everyone else. 801 00:31:18,252 --> 00:31:20,419 There are even houses students can join 802 00:31:20,421 --> 00:31:22,588 for the express purpose of getting shitfaced. 803 00:31:22,640 --> 00:31:24,723 They, uh, have Greek letters above the door. 804 00:31:24,758 --> 00:31:26,425 We're here to talk about your problem. 805 00:31:26,477 --> 00:31:28,343 I-I don't have a problem. 806 00:31:28,395 --> 00:31:29,511 You were in the ER. 807 00:31:29,563 --> 00:31:31,597 I overdid it. 808 00:31:31,599 --> 00:31:34,660 Once. 809 00:31:34,101 --> 00:31:37,269 Look, I-I've been drinking since I was ten. 810 00:31:37,321 --> 00:31:38,437 Since you were ten? 811 00:31:38,439 --> 00:31:39,938 Uh, why are you writing that down? 812 00:31:39,990 --> 00:31:42,107 And what drove you to drink when you were ten? 813 00:31:42,159 --> 00:31:43,909 - Was it problems at home? - Jesus fucking Christ. 814 00:31:43,944 --> 00:31:45,611 Look, I-I have midterms to grade, okay? 815 00:31:45,663 --> 00:31:48,280 Okay, when a student violates the school alcohol policy, 816 00:31:48,282 --> 00:31:49,581 he is required to attend counseling, 817 00:31:49,617 --> 00:31:51,830 both one-on-one and group sessions 818 00:31:51,118 --> 00:31:53,368 with other student alcohol abusers. 819 00:31:53,420 --> 00:31:54,786 Okay, I'll check my schedule. 820 00:31:54,788 --> 00:31:57,706 It's mandatory. 821 00:31:57,758 --> 00:31:59,625 Or what? 822 00:31:59,677 --> 00:32:02,678 Expulsion. 823 00:32:09,853 --> 00:32:12,971 Aah! My back is killing me! 824 00:32:13,230 --> 00:32:14,306 How much longer? 825 00:32:14,358 --> 00:32:17,893 Oh, only the Mother Goddess knows. 826 00:32:17,945 --> 00:32:19,645 I think this was a mistake, coming here. 827 00:32:19,697 --> 00:32:21,396 Oh, nonsense. 828 00:32:21,448 --> 00:32:23,148 Once we get this water boiling, 829 00:32:23,200 --> 00:32:25,817 we can sterilize the tools. 830 00:32:25,819 --> 00:32:28,904 Those look a little...medieval. 831 00:32:28,956 --> 00:32:30,322 Uh, uh, uh--never let me down. 832 00:32:30,324 --> 00:32:32,908 Got my cervical dilator, 833 00:32:32,960 --> 00:32:35,327 my forceps, 834 00:32:35,379 --> 00:32:37,996 - my hook. - Your hook? 835 00:32:38,480 --> 00:32:39,998 In case I need to break your water. 836 00:32:40,500 --> 00:32:42,918 Is there anything we can do to speed this up? 837 00:32:42,970 --> 00:32:46,305 Well, sometimes a baby comes faster 838 00:32:46,340 --> 00:32:48,307 when the nipples are stimulated. 839 00:32:48,342 --> 00:32:49,141 [knuckles crack] 840 00:32:49,176 --> 00:32:50,559 Unbutton your top. 841 00:32:54,565 --> 00:32:56,140 [door opens] 842 00:32:57,170 --> 00:32:58,817 Hey. 843 00:32:58,852 --> 00:33:00,352 I need to crash here tonight. 844 00:33:00,404 --> 00:33:02,521 You have the midterm grades? 845 00:33:02,523 --> 00:33:04,940 [sighs] Can I sleep here or not? 846 00:33:04,992 --> 00:33:06,525 No. It's my office. 847 00:33:06,577 --> 00:33:08,660 Where are my midterm grades? 848 00:33:08,696 --> 00:33:11,113 Look, I'm sorry I didn't have time to finish your work. 849 00:33:11,165 --> 00:33:13,498 I was busy getting fired, kicked out of my room, 850 00:33:13,534 --> 00:33:15,334 and forced to write a ten-page essay 851 00:33:15,369 --> 00:33:17,169 on the dangers of drinking. 852 00:33:17,204 --> 00:33:19,788 The department pays me to teach and grade students. 853 00:33:19,840 --> 00:33:21,540 Yeah, well maybe they should be paying me, 854 00:33:21,542 --> 00:33:23,125 since I'm the one doing it. 855 00:33:23,177 --> 00:33:25,217 You're two or three advanced degrees away from that. 856 00:33:25,262 --> 00:33:28,513 Give me the midterms. I'll do it myself. 857 00:33:32,353 --> 00:33:34,520 Did you hear what I just went through? 858 00:33:34,104 --> 00:33:35,971 Heard. Don't care. 859 00:33:36,230 --> 00:33:38,857 Why are you being such a dick? 860 00:33:38,892 --> 00:33:40,809 Look, we've knocked back a few. 861 00:33:40,861 --> 00:33:42,561 But you've forgotten I'm your boss. 862 00:33:42,563 --> 00:33:45,897 I expect you to do your job. 863 00:33:45,899 --> 00:33:47,866 So I should thank you for ripping me off? 864 00:33:47,901 --> 00:33:49,151 Excuse me? 865 00:33:49,203 --> 00:33:51,653 I read the paper you got published. 866 00:33:51,705 --> 00:33:54,573 Nice job stealing my ideas about complex wave functions. 867 00:33:54,625 --> 00:33:55,907 [snorts] I gave you credit. 868 00:33:55,909 --> 00:33:57,542 Yeah, as one of your research assistants. 869 00:33:57,578 --> 00:33:59,911 When I was at Yale, I wrote half of Jesnick's theories 870 00:33:59,913 --> 00:34:01,880 on non-Newtonian fluids. It benefited both of us. 871 00:34:01,915 --> 00:34:03,382 You're taking a shit in my mouth 872 00:34:03,417 --> 00:34:05,500 and saying you bought me dinner! 873 00:34:05,850 --> 00:34:06,752 - It's the way it works! - It's fucking bullshit! 874 00:34:06,804 --> 00:34:08,754 Look, you realize you're speaking to the one person 875 00:34:08,756 --> 00:34:11,590 who wasn't fired you in the last few hours, right? 876 00:34:11,642 --> 00:34:13,910 Is that supposed to be a threat? 877 00:34:13,143 --> 00:34:16,261 You're smart, Lip, but grow the fuck up. 878 00:34:16,263 --> 00:34:18,960 What, like you? 879 00:34:18,148 --> 00:34:19,931 What, a drunk has-been, 880 00:34:19,983 --> 00:34:22,768 coasting on an outdated reputation, 881 00:34:22,770 --> 00:34:25,854 thriving off of other peoples' work? 882 00:34:25,906 --> 00:34:28,273 Fuck. 883 00:34:28,325 --> 00:34:31,109 No wonder your kid wants nothing to do with you. 884 00:34:31,111 --> 00:34:33,779 [exhales sharply] 885 00:34:39,200 --> 00:34:41,253 Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! 886 00:34:41,288 --> 00:34:43,205 Oh-oh! 887 00:34:43,257 --> 00:34:45,457 Voila, ladies. 888 00:34:45,459 --> 00:34:47,376 [laughing] 889 00:34:47,428 --> 00:34:49,711 Uh-uh. Said you wanted traditional. 890 00:34:49,763 --> 00:34:52,130 I don't want a hairy ass in my face. 891 00:34:52,182 --> 00:34:53,965 Speak for yourself. 892 00:34:54,170 --> 00:34:55,634 That guy's got bacne. 893 00:34:55,686 --> 00:34:56,935 Not exactly Magic Mike. 894 00:34:56,970 --> 00:34:58,720 I'm not picky. 895 00:34:58,772 --> 00:35:00,806 This is what I planned, so this is what we're doing. 896 00:35:00,808 --> 00:35:02,140 It's gonna be epic. 897 00:35:02,192 --> 00:35:04,393 Shots. Pueblo Viejo. 898 00:35:04,445 --> 00:35:07,145 Hey, give this to owner. 899 00:35:07,197 --> 00:35:08,613 What's that for? 900 00:35:08,649 --> 00:35:09,815 For special price, 901 00:35:09,817 --> 00:35:11,817 owner lets us do special show. 902 00:35:11,819 --> 00:35:13,485 What's a special show? 903 00:35:13,537 --> 00:35:15,737 Oh, you'll see. 904 00:35:15,789 --> 00:35:17,789 - Bottoms up, ladies. - Whoo-hoo! 905 00:35:22,830 --> 00:35:24,790 [whispers] Daddy. Daddy. 906 00:35:24,131 --> 00:35:25,997 Hey, hey, I wanted to see you, 907 00:35:25,999 --> 00:35:27,999 but the neonatal Nazis wouldn't let me. 908 00:35:28,100 --> 00:35:30,919 Shh! Don't wake Queenie. 909 00:35:30,971 --> 00:35:32,421 After the beating she gave 910 00:35:32,473 --> 00:35:33,805 those two broads at the Pit, 911 00:35:33,841 --> 00:35:35,674 I'm not poking that bear. 912 00:35:35,676 --> 00:35:37,920 How you feeling? 913 00:35:37,144 --> 00:35:39,428 Dad, uh, I want to leave. 914 00:35:39,480 --> 00:35:41,847 Before my next contraction hits. 915 00:35:41,899 --> 00:35:43,181 What? 916 00:35:43,233 --> 00:35:45,183 This place is paradise. 917 00:35:45,185 --> 00:35:46,601 The midwife doesn't remember 918 00:35:46,653 --> 00:35:48,103 what half of her instruments are for. 919 00:35:48,155 --> 00:35:49,521 And the ones she does remember 920 00:35:49,523 --> 00:35:51,273 look like torture devices. 921 00:35:51,325 --> 00:35:54,526 And she spent the last hour stimulating my nipples. 922 00:35:54,578 --> 00:35:56,495 I'm tired. 923 00:35:56,530 --> 00:35:58,330 My genitals haven't pulled a triple shift 924 00:35:58,365 --> 00:36:00,699 since the '94 Puerto Rican Day parade. 925 00:36:00,751 --> 00:36:02,617 No, Daddy, please. 926 00:36:02,669 --> 00:36:03,785 I'm scared. 927 00:36:03,837 --> 00:36:06,204 I want to go home. 928 00:36:07,875 --> 00:36:09,674 [announcer] Ladies, we have a bachelorette 929 00:36:09,710 --> 00:36:11,460 in the house tonight. 930 00:36:11,512 --> 00:36:13,295 Our first dance is for 931 00:36:13,347 --> 00:36:16,515 the future Mrs. Fiona Pierce. 932 00:36:16,550 --> 00:36:19,518 Ladies, make some noise! 933 00:36:19,553 --> 00:36:22,888 [laughter] 934 00:36:22,890 --> 00:36:25,891 ♪ hip-hop music ♪ 935 00:36:25,893 --> 00:36:28,590 [Veronica] Yes, baby! 936 00:36:28,111 --> 00:36:31,363 [all cheering] 937 00:36:31,398 --> 00:36:36,401 ♪ 938 00:36:37,404 --> 00:36:40,372 [cheering] 939 00:36:40,407 --> 00:36:42,908 [screaming] 940 00:36:42,910 --> 00:36:47,913 ♪ 941 00:37:04,970 --> 00:37:06,140 [Fiona] Oh. 942 00:37:06,660 --> 00:37:07,682 [all gasping] 943 00:37:07,734 --> 00:37:09,100 [Kermit] What? 944 00:37:09,152 --> 00:37:11,102 You said we were all doing the full Monty. 945 00:37:11,154 --> 00:37:14,105 [screaming] 946 00:37:14,157 --> 00:37:15,440 [applause] 947 00:37:20,614 --> 00:37:22,280 [sighs] 948 00:37:23,834 --> 00:37:26,251 I was hoping somebody would shoot you today. 949 00:37:26,286 --> 00:37:28,870 Save myself a lot of trouble. 950 00:37:28,922 --> 00:37:31,957 But I guess I was wrong about you, Carl. 951 00:37:32,900 --> 00:37:34,125 Really? 952 00:37:34,177 --> 00:37:35,961 Fuck no. 953 00:37:36,130 --> 00:37:38,296 You think tackling some punk is gonna change anything? 954 00:37:38,348 --> 00:37:41,299 I still hate all 115 pounds of you. 955 00:37:41,351 --> 00:37:43,635 I'm gonna be watching you like a drone. 956 00:37:43,687 --> 00:37:46,271 And if I find out you've been fucking my daughter, 957 00:37:46,306 --> 00:37:49,474 I'm gonna take you out. 958 00:37:54,281 --> 00:37:56,982 [Carl] Thanks for the ride, Sergeant Winslow. 959 00:37:56,984 --> 00:37:59,484 - Hey. - [car door closes] 960 00:37:59,536 --> 00:38:02,621 What the hell's all that about? 961 00:38:02,656 --> 00:38:04,489 I think I want to be a cop. 962 00:38:04,491 --> 00:38:07,325 [siren chirps] 963 00:38:09,496 --> 00:38:11,496 [Kermit] I got it pierced years ago. 964 00:38:11,498 --> 00:38:13,331 - Did it hurt? - Nuh-uh. 965 00:38:13,333 --> 00:38:16,134 [cheering] 966 00:38:16,169 --> 00:38:17,469 Oh, thank you, thank you. 967 00:38:17,504 --> 00:38:19,337 But I'm not actually a stripper. 968 00:38:19,339 --> 00:38:21,890 Shut up. Take the cash. 969 00:38:21,141 --> 00:38:22,841 Nice moves, babe. You deserve this. 970 00:38:22,893 --> 00:38:24,309 - Mmm. - Whoo! 971 00:38:24,344 --> 00:38:25,810 - Yeah! - Thank you. 972 00:38:25,846 --> 00:38:28,680 I've never dranken from a penis before. 973 00:38:28,732 --> 00:38:29,848 [laughter] 974 00:38:29,900 --> 00:38:31,149 Lana and I have news. 975 00:38:31,184 --> 00:38:34,269 No, no. Fatima. 976 00:38:34,321 --> 00:38:35,687 - What? - That's her new name. 977 00:38:35,739 --> 00:38:37,105 She's Egyptian now. 978 00:38:37,157 --> 00:38:38,857 As-salaam alaikum. 979 00:38:38,859 --> 00:38:40,825 How much you pay for this piece of shit? 980 00:38:40,861 --> 00:38:42,110 Why, what's wrong with it? 981 00:38:42,162 --> 00:38:44,279 - It's got ten numbers. - Is that bad? 982 00:38:44,331 --> 00:38:46,364 Social Security numbers have nine. 983 00:38:46,416 --> 00:38:48,199 Oh, fuck me. Guy scammed me. 984 00:38:48,251 --> 00:38:49,200 All right, I'll get a better one. 985 00:38:49,252 --> 00:38:50,535 Just give me some time. 986 00:38:50,587 --> 00:38:52,370 - Already fixed. - What do you mean? 987 00:38:52,422 --> 00:38:54,372 We took care of it. 988 00:38:54,424 --> 00:38:56,625 - How? - Courthouse this afternoon. 989 00:38:56,677 --> 00:38:58,843 In and out and hitched. 990 00:38:58,879 --> 00:39:01,460 - What? - You got married? 991 00:39:01,480 --> 00:39:03,381 Like fast food drive-thru. McLesbian wedding. 992 00:39:03,383 --> 00:39:05,133 You didn't say anything. 993 00:39:05,185 --> 00:39:06,351 Not a big deal. 994 00:39:06,386 --> 00:39:07,386 That's not the point. 995 00:39:07,437 --> 00:39:10,889 You went behind my back. 996 00:39:10,941 --> 00:39:13,191 It's just a piece of paper. 997 00:39:13,226 --> 00:39:15,560 ♪ hip-hop music ♪ 998 00:39:15,612 --> 00:39:19,314 [Debbie screaming] 999 00:39:19,366 --> 00:39:21,733 Contractions are only three minutes apart. 1000 00:39:21,735 --> 00:39:23,818 - Are you sure? - [Debbie] Yes! 1001 00:39:23,870 --> 00:39:27,238 Oh! [screams] 1002 00:39:27,290 --> 00:39:29,658 Well squeeze your legs together! 1003 00:39:29,710 --> 00:39:32,711 [screaming] 1004 00:39:40,220 --> 00:39:41,586 [tool powers down] 1005 00:39:41,588 --> 00:39:43,388 I aced the test. 1006 00:39:43,423 --> 00:39:44,756 Congratulations. 1007 00:39:44,758 --> 00:39:47,425 And then I get the paperwork to get certified. 1008 00:39:47,477 --> 00:39:50,228 "Have you ever spent any time in a mental institution 1009 00:39:50,263 --> 00:39:52,847 or been treated for mental illness?" 1010 00:39:52,899 --> 00:39:54,516 You fucking believe that? 1011 00:39:54,568 --> 00:39:55,934 I get a perfect score on my test, 1012 00:39:55,936 --> 00:39:57,936 and they want to keep me from being an EMT 1013 00:39:57,938 --> 00:40:00,210 because I--I--I fucking... 1014 00:40:00,730 --> 00:40:04,776 I spent a few days in an inpatient program. 1015 00:40:04,828 --> 00:40:07,612 Lie. 1016 00:40:07,664 --> 00:40:09,114 What? 1017 00:40:09,166 --> 00:40:12,167 It's none of their goddamn business. 1018 00:40:13,336 --> 00:40:15,587 You--you want me to lie to them? 1019 00:40:15,622 --> 00:40:18,123 Sign it and send it in. 1020 00:40:18,125 --> 00:40:19,424 Really? 1021 00:40:19,459 --> 00:40:20,925 Why not? 1022 00:40:20,961 --> 00:40:22,594 Well, you were pissed at me this morning 1023 00:40:22,629 --> 00:40:24,713 'cause I didn't want to tell you my sexual history. 1024 00:40:24,765 --> 00:40:26,970 I was. 1025 00:40:26,133 --> 00:40:28,633 So you want me to lie to them but not to you? 1026 00:40:28,685 --> 00:40:30,635 Yeah. 1027 00:40:30,687 --> 00:40:33,221 You don't see a problem with that? 1028 00:40:33,273 --> 00:40:34,939 They're not sucking your dick. 1029 00:40:34,975 --> 00:40:36,441 It's a job. 1030 00:40:36,476 --> 00:40:40,195 Your mental health is none of their business. 1031 00:40:45,202 --> 00:40:46,818 Were you worried I was gonna freak 1032 00:40:46,820 --> 00:40:50,121 on how many guys you've been with? 1033 00:40:50,157 --> 00:40:51,623 I'm a good-looking fireman. 1034 00:40:51,658 --> 00:40:53,575 Son, I'll go toe-to-toe with your number 1035 00:40:53,627 --> 00:40:57,462 any day of the week. 1036 00:40:57,497 --> 00:40:59,247 I told the nurse I have no idea 1037 00:40:59,299 --> 00:41:00,915 how many guys I've been with. 1038 00:41:00,967 --> 00:41:02,917 I danced in a strip club, 1039 00:41:02,969 --> 00:41:06,805 and I worked the back of the house as much as the front. 1040 00:41:09,590 --> 00:41:11,259 All right. 1041 00:41:11,311 --> 00:41:12,977 Okay. 1042 00:41:13,130 --> 00:41:15,130 I did a porn movie. 1043 00:41:15,650 --> 00:41:16,514 You did a porn? 1044 00:41:16,516 --> 00:41:19,350 Bareback. 1045 00:41:22,239 --> 00:41:24,239 Got it. 1046 00:41:25,525 --> 00:41:26,525 Give me that. 1047 00:41:26,576 --> 00:41:28,576 [sighs] 1048 00:41:32,249 --> 00:41:34,699 Fuck 'em. Sign it. 1049 00:41:34,701 --> 00:41:38,286 We'll drop it in the mail on the way to Carmadelle's. 1050 00:41:38,338 --> 00:41:41,390 I made a reservation. 1051 00:41:41,410 --> 00:41:43,792 Told 'em to put some champagne on ice. 1052 00:41:43,844 --> 00:41:46,845 I knew you were gonna ace that shit. 1053 00:41:48,348 --> 00:41:49,881 [laughs softly] 1054 00:41:49,883 --> 00:41:52,550 [Frank grunts] 1055 00:41:52,552 --> 00:41:54,552 I'm coming. 1056 00:41:56,220 --> 00:41:57,388 [Debbie] Aah. 1057 00:41:57,390 --> 00:41:58,973 Aah! Oh! 1058 00:41:59,250 --> 00:42:00,725 'Ere you go. 1059 00:42:00,777 --> 00:42:02,393 Frank, you're the only one 1060 00:42:02,395 --> 00:42:04,620 who's ever been there for me. 1061 00:42:04,114 --> 00:42:05,730 Taking me to doctor's appointments, 1062 00:42:05,732 --> 00:42:08,366 making sure I always have a roof over my head. 1063 00:42:08,401 --> 00:42:09,901 Bringing me home. 1064 00:42:09,953 --> 00:42:11,653 You're carrying on a family tradition 1065 00:42:11,705 --> 00:42:13,154 having your baby here. 1066 00:42:13,206 --> 00:42:15,907 All my kids were born in that house. 1067 00:42:15,959 --> 00:42:18,493 Almost all of 'em survived. 1068 00:42:18,545 --> 00:42:21,546 I'll cut the cord. 1069 00:42:22,749 --> 00:42:24,382 - [Debbie] Hey! - Okay. Come on. 1070 00:42:24,417 --> 00:42:25,500 [Cortez] Shouldn't have fucked with G-Dogg. 1071 00:42:25,552 --> 00:42:26,334 [Debbie] What are you doing? Hey! 1072 00:42:26,386 --> 00:42:27,919 Gentlemen, I know 1073 00:42:27,971 --> 00:42:29,587 we can figure something out. 1074 00:42:29,589 --> 00:42:31,756 - Ah, you don't need to do that. - Let's go. 1075 00:42:31,758 --> 00:42:33,224 It's pretty dramatic. Don't you think? 1076 00:42:33,260 --> 00:42:35,510 [Debbie] Wait, where are you taking him? 1077 00:42:35,562 --> 00:42:37,228 Where are you going? 1078 00:42:37,264 --> 00:42:39,970 ♪ rock music ♪ 1079 00:42:39,990 --> 00:42:40,765 Hey. 1080 00:42:40,817 --> 00:42:42,433 Dad! 1081 00:42:42,485 --> 00:42:44,269 Frank! 1082 00:42:44,321 --> 00:42:46,521 ♪ 1083 00:42:46,573 --> 00:42:48,106 Aah. 1084 00:42:48,158 --> 00:42:49,407 Oh! 1085 00:42:49,442 --> 00:42:53,111 - [liquid trickling] - My water. 1086 00:42:53,163 --> 00:42:54,612 Help! 1087 00:42:54,664 --> 00:42:57,310 Somebody help me! 1088 00:42:57,830 --> 00:42:58,783 - Lay down, lay down. - All right, all right. 1089 00:42:58,785 --> 00:43:01,850 I'll go get my truck so we can go to the hospital. 1090 00:43:01,121 --> 00:43:03,371 - No! No hospitals! - We don't have time to argue. 1091 00:43:03,423 --> 00:43:05,590 - Aah! - No shit, this baby is coming. 1092 00:43:05,625 --> 00:43:07,292 - Now? - She's crowning. 1093 00:43:07,294 --> 00:43:08,927 - Oh. - What the fuck are you doing? 1094 00:43:08,962 --> 00:43:10,879 - I capture moment. - Quick, who delivered Liam? 1095 00:43:10,931 --> 00:43:13,131 Monica. She was high. He slid right out. 1096 00:43:13,183 --> 00:43:15,633 Go get Sylvia from down the block, she's a nurse. 1097 00:43:15,685 --> 00:43:17,435 No good. She's at Cook County. 1098 00:43:17,470 --> 00:43:18,937 I thought she worked at Rush. 1099 00:43:18,972 --> 00:43:20,638 No, Cook County Department of Corrections. 1100 00:43:20,640 --> 00:43:23,141 She shot her husband. 1101 00:43:23,143 --> 00:43:25,476 - You worked at a nursing home. - Changing bedpans. 1102 00:43:25,478 --> 00:43:29,314 I never delivered a damn baby! 1103 00:43:29,316 --> 00:43:32,984 [Frank] My daughter's having a baby, you animals! 1104 00:43:32,986 --> 00:43:35,620 I don't mean-- not "animals" like 1105 00:43:35,655 --> 00:43:37,622 jungle animals-- it's not a race thing. 1106 00:43:37,657 --> 00:43:39,730 I--come on. 1107 00:43:39,125 --> 00:43:42,627 I don't have a racist bone in my body. 1108 00:43:45,632 --> 00:43:47,799 Why are there blankets on the walls? 1109 00:43:47,834 --> 00:43:50,969 That's an excellent question. 1110 00:43:51,400 --> 00:43:53,338 You know, people think that the best way to trap sound 1111 00:43:53,340 --> 00:43:56,591 is foam, but that's a misconception, dawg. 1112 00:43:56,643 --> 00:43:59,928 Foam prevents echo, but it don't stop noise. 1113 00:43:59,980 --> 00:44:02,263 You're looking at nine layers of 5/8 sheetrock, 1114 00:44:02,315 --> 00:44:05,600 plus the best fiberglass money can buy. 1115 00:44:05,652 --> 00:44:08,102 Home Depot. 1116 00:44:08,154 --> 00:44:09,821 That's my jam. 1117 00:44:09,856 --> 00:44:10,939 ♪ tense music ♪ 1118 00:44:10,991 --> 00:44:13,157 Final touch, thick blankets, 1119 00:44:13,193 --> 00:44:16,611 which are surprisingly effective. 1120 00:44:16,663 --> 00:44:18,196 At what? 1121 00:44:18,248 --> 00:44:21,532 Making sure no one hears you screaming. 1122 00:44:21,584 --> 00:44:23,284 Oh, come on. 1123 00:44:23,336 --> 00:44:24,702 You don't have to do that. 1124 00:44:24,754 --> 00:44:25,870 Please. 1125 00:44:25,922 --> 00:44:28,957 3,500 degrees. 1126 00:44:29,900 --> 00:44:30,959 Burns fingers right off. 1127 00:44:31,110 --> 00:44:32,877 I'll get the money. I will get the money. 1128 00:44:32,929 --> 00:44:35,880 Somehow, I'll do it, I'll make it right with your boss. 1129 00:44:35,882 --> 00:44:37,382 I'll make it right. 1130 00:44:37,434 --> 00:44:39,384 I can make it right-- come on, come on! 1131 00:44:39,386 --> 00:44:40,385 Okay, hold on! 1132 00:44:40,387 --> 00:44:42,387 I can get opium! 1133 00:44:42,389 --> 00:44:44,472 ♪ 1134 00:44:44,524 --> 00:44:46,691 A lot of it. 1135 00:44:46,726 --> 00:44:48,693 ♪ 1136 00:44:48,728 --> 00:44:51,145 [screaming] 1137 00:44:51,197 --> 00:44:53,147 Is she gonna have the baby on the table? 1138 00:44:53,199 --> 00:44:54,899 All right, ambulance is on its way. 1139 00:44:54,901 --> 00:44:56,651 - [Lip] It says we need towels. - [Fiona] Already got 'em. 1140 00:44:56,703 --> 00:44:59,237 Okay, okay, so put 'em under to catch all the... 1141 00:44:59,239 --> 00:45:00,738 - [Debbie screaming] - Fuck, just put 'em under! 1142 00:45:00,790 --> 00:45:02,240 - Shit. - It's gonna be okay. 1143 00:45:02,292 --> 00:45:03,908 It's gonna be okay. I'm right here. 1144 00:45:03,910 --> 00:45:06,494 When I was having my girls, the doc told me to do 1145 00:45:06,546 --> 00:45:09,330 three quick pants and then one long blow, okay? 1146 00:45:09,382 --> 00:45:10,581 [breathing] 1147 00:45:10,583 --> 00:45:12,417 I'm gonna do it with you, okay? 1148 00:45:12,419 --> 00:45:15,219 [breathing] 1149 00:45:15,255 --> 00:45:17,422 [moaning] 1150 00:45:17,424 --> 00:45:19,223 We're gonna start pushing now, okay? 1151 00:45:19,259 --> 00:45:20,341 - All right? - [Debbie screaming] 1152 00:45:20,393 --> 00:45:23,227 - All right. - And push! 1153 00:45:23,263 --> 00:45:24,679 - [screaming] - Push, push, push. 1154 00:45:24,731 --> 00:45:26,514 - Push! Push, baby. Push! - [screaming] 1155 00:45:26,566 --> 00:45:27,686 - [screaming] - Keep pushing! 1156 00:45:27,734 --> 00:45:30,435 Keep pushing! 1157 00:45:30,487 --> 00:45:32,236 [screaming] 1158 00:45:32,272 --> 00:45:33,771 [Veronica] Open your legs, babe. 1159 00:45:33,773 --> 00:45:35,273 ♪ rock music ♪ 1160 00:45:50,957 --> 00:45:52,206 Which way? 1161 00:45:52,258 --> 00:45:53,541 Over there. 1162 00:45:53,593 --> 00:45:57,428 You try to run, I'll break your legs. 1163 00:45:59,265 --> 00:46:00,965 [Debbie] Is the baby okay? 1164 00:46:01,170 --> 00:46:03,217 Yeah. She's great. 1165 00:46:03,269 --> 00:46:04,302 [baby cooing] 1166 00:46:04,304 --> 00:46:06,387 [gasps] She? 1167 00:46:06,439 --> 00:46:08,473 ♪ stirring music ♪ 1168 00:46:08,475 --> 00:46:09,941 Oh. 1169 00:46:09,976 --> 00:46:12,143 You did amazing, Debs. 1170 00:46:12,195 --> 00:46:14,145 Oh, my God. 1171 00:46:14,197 --> 00:46:16,647 My daughter. 1172 00:46:16,649 --> 00:46:19,817 She's so big. 1173 00:46:19,819 --> 00:46:22,153 Hi, Frances. 1174 00:46:22,155 --> 00:46:24,155 Do you recognize my voice? 1175 00:46:24,207 --> 00:46:26,157 Frances? 1176 00:46:26,209 --> 00:46:28,576 After her grandfather. 1177 00:46:28,628 --> 00:46:30,795 Frank? 1178 00:46:30,830 --> 00:46:34,248 ♪ 1179 00:46:34,300 --> 00:46:36,918 She's so beautiful. 1180 00:46:36,970 --> 00:46:39,470 Thank you. 1181 00:46:39,506 --> 00:46:42,473 [baby whines] 1182 00:46:42,509 --> 00:46:46,761 ♪ 1183 00:46:46,813 --> 00:46:50,681 All right. All right. 1184 00:46:50,733 --> 00:46:52,683 See? 1185 00:46:52,685 --> 00:46:55,686 I told you. 1186 00:46:55,738 --> 00:46:57,522 It's fucking beautiful. 1187 00:46:57,524 --> 00:47:00,441 Wait, where's-- where's the opium at? 1188 00:47:00,493 --> 00:47:02,193 It's he--it's right here. 1189 00:47:02,245 --> 00:47:04,362 What the fuck are we supposed to do with plants? 1190 00:47:04,414 --> 00:47:06,197 Where do you think opium comes from? 1191 00:47:06,199 --> 00:47:07,498 I never made the shit. 1192 00:47:07,534 --> 00:47:09,330 Well, you got to harvest it. 1193 00:47:09,850 --> 00:47:10,201 [shotgun racking] 1194 00:47:10,253 --> 00:47:11,702 Get the fuck out of my warehouse! 1195 00:47:11,754 --> 00:47:13,704 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, put the gun down, 1196 00:47:13,706 --> 00:47:15,540 you grizzled-ass bitch! 1197 00:47:15,592 --> 00:47:17,625 [Jupiter] You don't want to do this. 1198 00:47:17,677 --> 00:47:19,377 You're trespassing. 1199 00:47:19,379 --> 00:47:21,512 Where's the opium, old man? 1200 00:47:21,548 --> 00:47:24,715 You punks don't scare me. I was at Khe Sanh. 1201 00:47:24,717 --> 00:47:27,718 Where's the fucking opium? 1202 00:47:27,720 --> 00:47:29,554 Don't do it. 1203 00:47:29,606 --> 00:47:33,570 ♪ rock music ♪ 1204 00:47:33,109 --> 00:47:36,600 [gunfire] 1205 00:47:36,112 --> 00:47:41,115 ♪ 1206 00:47:45,872 --> 00:47:47,405 Frank! 1207 00:47:47,407 --> 00:47:52,410 ♪ 1208 00:47:53,413 --> 00:47:54,579 We'll take her to Rush. 1209 00:47:54,631 --> 00:47:56,247 We'll be right behind you, Debs. 1210 00:47:56,249 --> 00:47:58,916 - I'm coming too. - Uh, no. That's okay. 1211 00:47:58,968 --> 00:48:00,334 You don't want me to come? 1212 00:48:00,386 --> 00:48:02,860 I-I do, but you were right. 1213 00:48:02,138 --> 00:48:04,222 I need to do this on my own. 1214 00:48:04,257 --> 00:48:07,258 - Debbie, I-- - It's just me. 1215 00:48:08,478 --> 00:48:10,261 Excuse me, miss. 1216 00:48:10,263 --> 00:48:13,264 [stirring music] 1217 00:48:13,266 --> 00:48:18,269 ♪ 1218 00:48:32,764 --> 00:48:43,164 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 77844

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