Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:04,212 --> 00:00:06,797
PHOEBE: He sprang to his sleigh
To his team gave a whistle
2
00:00:06,965 --> 00:00:09,967
And away they all flew
Like the down of a thistle
3
00:00:10,135 --> 00:00:13,262
But I heard him exclaim
Ere he drove out of sight
4
00:00:13,430 --> 00:00:18,892
"Merry Christmas to all
And to all a good night."
5
00:00:20,770 --> 00:00:24,815
- Wow. That was great.
- Mm-hm.
6
00:00:24,983 --> 00:00:26,066
You really wrote that?
7
00:00:27,444 --> 00:00:28,944
Uh-huh.
8
00:00:29,154 --> 00:00:31,989
- Say goodbye, elves. I'm off to Tulsa.
ALL: Aw.
9
00:00:32,157 --> 00:00:34,491
I can't believe you're not gonna be here
for Christmas.
10
00:00:34,659 --> 00:00:36,493
You're really not coming back?
11
00:00:36,661 --> 00:00:39,830
Yeah, we have this paperwork that
needs to be filed by the end of the year.
12
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:42,708
- If I don't get it done, I'll be fired.
- It's so unfair.
13
00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:45,919
- You don't even like your job.
- So? Who does?
14
00:00:46,129 --> 00:00:47,588
- I like my job.
- I love my job.
15
00:00:47,756 --> 00:00:50,841
- I can't wait to go back to work.
- I can't get enough dinosaurs.
16
00:00:55,263 --> 00:00:57,347
I'm sorry I won't be here.
17
00:00:57,640 --> 00:01:00,309
It's just hard enough not seeing you
during the week...
18
00:01:00,477 --> 00:01:02,436
...but for Christmas...
19
00:01:02,604 --> 00:01:04,772
If this is what you have to do,
I understand.
20
00:01:05,273 --> 00:01:07,316
Thanks.
21
00:01:07,484 --> 00:01:08,734
I'll see you New Year's Day.
22
00:01:09,110 --> 00:01:11,070
You're not gonna be here
New Year's Eve?
23
00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:15,324
- Did I not mention that?
- No.
24
00:01:15,617 --> 00:01:17,701
And to all a good night.
25
00:02:12,298 --> 00:02:15,467
All right, everybody.
I know that it is Christmas Eve...
26
00:02:15,635 --> 00:02:19,012
...and you'd rather be with your families,
but there is no call for writing:
27
00:02:19,180 --> 00:02:23,809
"Screw you, Mr. Bing"
on the back of my chair.
28
00:02:24,185 --> 00:02:26,353
By the way,
you can all call me Chandler.
29
00:02:27,647 --> 00:02:29,815
- Hey.
- Hey. Where you been?
30
00:02:29,983 --> 00:02:33,318
I was, uh, checking out that insurance
company's Christmas party on three.
31
00:02:33,486 --> 00:02:36,738
It was really beautiful. They have
all these decorations and this huge tree.
32
00:02:36,906 --> 00:02:39,908
And I just thought,
to hell with them, we have to work.
33
00:02:40,076 --> 00:02:42,661
So I stole their ham.
34
00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:46,123
You hear that?
You may not be with your families...
35
00:02:46,291 --> 00:02:48,917
...but at least it's gonna smell like ham
in here.
36
00:02:50,211 --> 00:02:52,254
My kid's in a play right now.
37
00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:55,465
You know what?
I know what will cheer you guys up.
38
00:02:55,633 --> 00:02:57,759
I had a talk with the boys in New York.
39
00:02:57,927 --> 00:03:00,095
I told them about all the hard work
you've been doing...
40
00:03:00,263 --> 00:03:03,098
...and that a little Christmas bonus
may be in order.
41
00:03:03,308 --> 00:03:08,729
"A donation has been made in your name
to the New York City Ballet."
42
00:03:11,149 --> 00:03:12,691
Well, that's like money in your pocket.
43
00:03:14,444 --> 00:03:16,695
All right, look, you want me to say it?
This sucks.
44
00:03:16,905 --> 00:03:19,281
Being here sucks. This work sucks.
45
00:03:19,490 --> 00:03:21,783
Now it feels like Christmas.
46
00:03:22,452 --> 00:03:24,119
I'm sorry.
47
00:03:24,287 --> 00:03:27,247
Hey, at least you get to go home
and be with your families tonight.
48
00:03:27,415 --> 00:03:29,958
I have to back to an empty hotel room
and lay down...
49
00:03:30,126 --> 00:03:33,253
...on a very questionable bedspread.
50
00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:37,049
Then tomorrow morning, you get to have
Christmas morning in your own houses.
51
00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:39,635
Which, by the way,
none of you have invited me to.
52
00:03:39,844 --> 00:03:44,097
- You can come to my house.
- Ha, ha. No, thanks.
53
00:03:45,975 --> 00:03:47,684
- It was a nice pep talk.
- Oh, thanks.
54
00:03:47,894 --> 00:03:51,313
I'm actually thinking about becoming
a motivational speaker.
55
00:03:52,273 --> 00:03:56,151
So if you were home right now,
what would you be doing?
56
00:03:56,361 --> 00:04:00,656
Typical Christmassy stuff, you know.
Our holidays are pretty traditional.
57
00:04:00,823 --> 00:04:03,742
So here's a very special
holiday song...
58
00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:07,537
...that I wrote for some
very important people to me.
59
00:04:10,708 --> 00:04:14,670
[SINGING]
Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap
60
00:04:14,837 --> 00:04:17,881
Asked him to bring my friends
All kinds of crap
61
00:04:19,467 --> 00:04:22,844
Said all you need
Is to write them a song
62
00:04:23,012 --> 00:04:27,474
They haven't heard it yet
So don't try to sing along
63
00:04:27,642 --> 00:04:30,143
No don't sing along
64
00:04:30,895 --> 00:04:36,775
Monica, Monica
Have a happy Hanukkah
65
00:04:38,611 --> 00:04:44,658
Saw Santa Claus
He said hello to Ross
66
00:04:45,326 --> 00:04:51,999
And please tell Joey
Christmas will be snowy
67
00:04:54,002 --> 00:04:56,837
And Rachel and Chandler
68
00:04:57,005 --> 00:04:59,715
[SINGS GIBBERISH]
69
00:05:02,093 --> 00:05:04,303
Happy holidays, everybody.
70
00:05:05,221 --> 00:05:07,764
Okay, Pheebs, look in the kitchen.
I'll look in the back closet.
71
00:05:07,932 --> 00:05:11,393
I can save you time, ladies.
I'm right here.
72
00:05:11,894 --> 00:05:14,104
Yeah.
Chandler, why don't you take a walk?
73
00:05:14,272 --> 00:05:16,231
This doesn't concern you.
74
00:05:17,108 --> 00:05:19,651
We are looking for
our Christmas presents from Monica.
75
00:05:19,819 --> 00:05:23,196
CHANDLER: What? That's terrible.
- No, no. We do it every year.
76
00:05:23,406 --> 00:05:25,866
Oh, well, that makes it not terrible.
77
00:05:27,076 --> 00:05:31,496
No. Yeah, we never find them.
She's always bested us, that wily...
78
00:05:31,664 --> 00:05:32,998
...minx.
79
00:05:33,875 --> 00:05:35,876
Don't worry.
We're gonna search here for an hour...
80
00:05:36,044 --> 00:05:38,170
...and then we're gonna go to Joey's
and search. Okay?
81
00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:41,131
No, not okay.
You can't look for Monica's presents.
82
00:05:41,299 --> 00:05:43,175
- No, we have to.
- No, you don't have to.
83
00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:47,304
And you can't, because I live here too.
84
00:05:47,555 --> 00:05:51,975
- Well, then you should look with us.
- Why?
85
00:05:52,143 --> 00:05:55,145
Chandler, aren't you worried about
what to get Monica for Christmas?
86
00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:57,564
No, I have a great idea
for a present for her.
87
00:05:57,774 --> 00:06:00,817
Oh, pfft. That's it? A great idea again?
88
00:06:01,652 --> 00:06:04,404
Chandler, that's not enough.
What if she gets you a great present...
89
00:06:04,572 --> 00:06:06,740
...two medium presents
and a bunch of little presents...
90
00:06:06,908 --> 00:06:10,160
...and you got her one great present?
That's just gonna make her feel bad.
91
00:06:10,328 --> 00:06:13,121
Why would you do that to her, Chandler?
Why? Why?
92
00:06:14,832 --> 00:06:17,250
- If I helped, we could find them faster.
- That's right.
93
00:06:18,878 --> 00:06:22,506
- Ooh, ooh, we have a live one.
- It's a Macy's bag.
94
00:06:22,673 --> 00:06:23,965
Yeah.
95
00:06:24,133 --> 00:06:27,928
- Oh.
- Ooh. Who's it for?
96
00:06:28,888 --> 00:06:33,266
"Dear Losers: Do you really think
I'd hide presents under the couch?
97
00:06:34,811 --> 00:06:37,312
P.S. Chandler, I knew they'd break you."
98
00:06:40,191 --> 00:06:42,442
Rach, these are for you.
99
00:06:43,111 --> 00:06:47,364
Wiper blades. I don't even have a car.
100
00:06:47,573 --> 00:06:51,701
No, but with this new car smell,
you'll think you do.
101
00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:57,499
Okay, Pheebs, your turn.
102
00:06:59,085 --> 00:07:02,462
Ah. Toilet seat covers.
103
00:07:05,591 --> 00:07:08,218
Is that what you were doing
while I was getting gas?
104
00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:10,887
You guys.
105
00:07:11,055 --> 00:07:15,434
And for Ross, Mr. Sweet Tooth.
106
00:07:18,020 --> 00:07:23,150
- You got me a cola drink?
- And... a lemon-lime.
107
00:07:23,943 --> 00:07:27,028
Wow. Well, this... This is too much.
108
00:07:27,196 --> 00:07:30,073
I feel like I should get you
another sweater.
109
00:07:32,076 --> 00:07:35,036
And last, but not least...
110
00:07:36,873 --> 00:07:39,583
They're ribbed, for your pleasure.
111
00:07:40,918 --> 00:07:42,878
Well, hey, Ben.
112
00:07:43,045 --> 00:07:49,259
What if the Holiday Armadillo
told you all about the Festival of Lights?
113
00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:50,969
Cool.
114
00:07:51,179 --> 00:07:52,888
MONICA:
Come on, Ben.
115
00:07:55,558 --> 00:08:02,105
Years and years ago, there were
these people called the Maccabees.
116
00:08:02,273 --> 00:08:06,109
Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas.
117
00:08:07,653 --> 00:08:10,197
BEN: Santa.
- Hey.
118
00:08:10,907 --> 00:08:14,034
What are you doing here, Santa?
119
00:08:15,912 --> 00:08:18,788
Well, I'm here to see my old buddy Ben.
120
00:08:19,207 --> 00:08:21,208
What are you doing here...
121
00:08:21,375 --> 00:08:25,170
...weird turtle-man?
122
00:08:26,797 --> 00:08:33,470
I'm the Holiday Armadillo,
your part-Jewish friend.
123
00:08:34,805 --> 00:08:38,558
You sent me here to give Ben
some presents.
124
00:08:38,726 --> 00:08:41,019
Remember?
125
00:08:42,271 --> 00:08:44,356
What?
126
00:08:44,774 --> 00:08:46,733
Okay, Ben, why don't you open
some more presents?
127
00:08:46,943 --> 00:08:49,653
Santa, the armadillo and I
will have a talk in the kitchen.
128
00:08:50,112 --> 00:08:53,657
There's a sentence I never thought
I'd say.
129
00:08:54,617 --> 00:08:56,159
What are you doing?
130
00:08:56,369 --> 00:08:59,496
You called everyone and said
you had trouble finding a Santa costume...
131
00:08:59,664 --> 00:09:02,290
...so I borrowed one
from a guy at work.
132
00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:05,001
Thank you, but you gotta leave.
133
00:09:05,211 --> 00:09:06,670
- Why?
- Because...
134
00:09:06,879 --> 00:09:09,589
...I'm finally getting him excited
about Hanukkah.
135
00:09:09,757 --> 00:09:11,258
And you're wrecking it.
136
00:09:11,467 --> 00:09:15,512
But I didn't get to shake my belly
like a bowl full of jelly.
137
00:09:18,641 --> 00:09:22,477
I'm sorry, Chandler,
but this is really important to me.
138
00:09:22,895 --> 00:09:26,856
Okay, fine. I'll give the suit back.
139
00:09:27,024 --> 00:09:31,361
Hey, you think you can keep it
another night?
140
00:09:33,114 --> 00:09:35,156
Santa? Really?
141
00:09:35,658 --> 00:09:40,996
- Yeah, is that okay?
- Did your dad ever dress up like Santa?
142
00:09:41,998 --> 00:09:46,126
- No.
- Then it's okay.
143
00:09:48,296 --> 00:09:50,505
You know what, everybody?
144
00:09:50,673 --> 00:09:52,882
Go home.
You should be with your families.
145
00:09:53,092 --> 00:09:55,302
It's bad enough that we're working
New Year's Eve.
146
00:09:57,805 --> 00:10:01,182
Did I not tell anyone
about New Year's Eve?
147
00:10:01,350 --> 00:10:05,395
All right, look, go. Go home, okay?
Merry Christmas. Go.
148
00:10:05,563 --> 00:10:07,981
ALL: Merry Christmas.
CHANDLER: Peace on earth.
149
00:10:08,149 --> 00:10:12,861
ALL: Bye.
- Good. Godspeed, good people.
150
00:10:13,571 --> 00:10:17,741
- You're not gonna go?
- Nah. I couldn't leave you alone.
151
00:10:17,908 --> 00:10:20,201
Oh. Thanks.
152
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:24,414
Besides, I can't leave until that
Christmas party downstairs clears out.
153
00:10:24,582 --> 00:10:27,876
There are some pissed-off insurance people
looking for that ham.
154
00:10:28,085 --> 00:10:29,252
Ah.
155
00:10:29,420 --> 00:10:30,837
[PHONE RINGS]
156
00:10:31,756 --> 00:10:34,090
- Chandler Bing.
- Hi, honey. We're all here.
157
00:10:34,258 --> 00:10:36,051
We just want to wish you
a Merry Christmas.
158
00:10:36,260 --> 00:10:37,761
ALL:
Merry Christmas.
159
00:10:37,928 --> 00:10:39,971
[PHOEBE SPEAKS GIBBERISH]
160
00:10:40,598 --> 00:10:43,266
Aw, merry Christmas. I miss you guys.
161
00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:46,061
So is it horrible?
Is everybody working really hard?
162
00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:49,105
Uh, well, no, it's just, uh, me and Wendy.
163
00:10:49,357 --> 00:10:52,025
Wendy? That sounds like a girl's name.
164
00:10:52,902 --> 00:10:55,403
It is. Did I not tell you about her?
165
00:10:55,571 --> 00:10:59,366
Mm-hm. About the time you told me
about New Year's Eve.
166
00:10:59,575 --> 00:11:02,661
- Where's everybody else?
CHANDLER: I sent them home.
167
00:11:02,828 --> 00:11:06,623
Oh, you are such a good boss.
Is she pretty?
168
00:11:07,833 --> 00:11:11,544
- Uh... Uh...
- Answer faster. Answer faster.
169
00:11:11,754 --> 00:11:14,589
- I don't know.
- Answer better. Answer better.
170
00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:18,718
I don't think of her that way.
I mean, she's a, uh, colleague.
171
00:11:18,928 --> 00:11:21,971
- What does she do there?
- Oh, she's regional vice president.
172
00:11:22,139 --> 00:11:24,641
- She's just below me.
- She did what?
173
00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:32,065
Below me.
174
00:11:33,150 --> 00:11:35,819
Oh, wait, is Wendy the runner-up
Miss Oklahoma?
175
00:11:35,986 --> 00:11:37,654
What?
176
00:11:38,989 --> 00:11:41,157
Well, she didn't win.
177
00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:44,327
All right, well, maybe I should let you...
178
00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:47,497
...and the second-prettiest girl
in Oklahoma get back to work.
179
00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:49,040
Well, second prettiest that year.
180
00:11:49,208 --> 00:11:51,710
Of all the girls in Oklahoma,
she's probably...
181
00:11:51,919 --> 00:11:53,378
Chandler, stop talking.
182
00:11:55,464 --> 00:11:58,091
Honey, there's really
nothing to worry about.
183
00:11:58,300 --> 00:12:00,552
- Okay.
- I'm serious.
184
00:12:00,761 --> 00:12:02,011
Okay.
185
00:12:02,304 --> 00:12:05,014
- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.
186
00:12:05,182 --> 00:12:07,892
- Merry Christmas, you guys.
ALL: Merry Christmas.
187
00:12:08,060 --> 00:12:09,185
[PHOEBE SPEAKS GIBBERISH]
188
00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:18,069
- The wife says hi.
- Ah. Fun conversation?
189
00:12:18,279 --> 00:12:21,322
Ah, well, she's just got
this weird idea that, uh...
190
00:12:21,490 --> 00:12:23,867
...just because you and I are alone
something's gonna happen.
191
00:12:24,243 --> 00:12:26,745
Huh? Really?
192
00:12:26,912 --> 00:12:30,540
Hmm. Would that be so terrible?
193
00:12:32,501 --> 00:12:35,587
This is probably the wrong thing
to be worrying about...
194
00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:39,591
...but you're getting ham
on my only tie.
195
00:12:46,265 --> 00:12:49,809
- Whoa, back off, missy.
- Ha, ha. Missy?
196
00:12:50,019 --> 00:12:52,645
I don't know. I'm not used to girls
making passes at me.
197
00:12:52,813 --> 00:12:56,858
Wait a minute.
Am I sexy in Oklahoma?
198
00:12:57,818 --> 00:13:02,405
- You are to me.
- No. No. No.
199
00:13:03,407 --> 00:13:06,993
- Look, I'm married.
- So? I'm married.
200
00:13:07,203 --> 00:13:09,078
I'm happily married.
201
00:13:09,330 --> 00:13:11,873
Oh. What's that like?
202
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:17,212
- Right. So I'm sorry, but...
- Seriously? Happily married?
203
00:13:17,379 --> 00:13:20,507
So that phone call before,
that was happy?
204
00:13:20,716 --> 00:13:23,927
Well, look, it's not easy
to spend this much time apart.
205
00:13:24,136 --> 00:13:26,346
She's entitled to be a little paranoid.
206
00:13:26,514 --> 00:13:29,182
Or, in this case, right on the money.
207
00:13:30,309 --> 00:13:34,771
You know, she's amazing
and beautiful and smart.
208
00:13:34,939 --> 00:13:38,566
And if she were here right now,
she'd kick your ass.
209
00:13:41,153 --> 00:13:46,574
Look, you're a really nice person,
ham stealing and adultery aside.
210
00:13:48,452 --> 00:13:51,246
But what I have with my wife
is pretty great.
211
00:13:51,413 --> 00:13:54,457
So nothing's ever gonna happen
between us.
212
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:57,252
Okay, let me ask you something.
213
00:13:57,419 --> 00:14:01,005
If what you and your wife have
is so great...
214
00:14:01,173 --> 00:14:04,425
...then why are you spending
Christmas with me?
215
00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:08,429
You were the most beautiful woman
in the room tonight.
216
00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:11,015
- Really?
- Are you kidding?
217
00:14:11,183 --> 00:14:14,185
You're the most beautiful woman
in most rooms.
218
00:14:21,986 --> 00:14:24,612
Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's going on?
You and I just made out.
219
00:14:24,780 --> 00:14:27,240
- You and I are making out?
- Well, not anymore.
220
00:14:27,992 --> 00:14:31,828
- But we don't do that.
- I know. I just thought it would be fun.
221
00:14:32,955 --> 00:14:35,999
- How drunk are you?
- Drunk enough that I know I wanna do this.
222
00:14:36,166 --> 00:14:39,419
Not so drunk that you should feel guilty
about taking advantage.
223
00:14:41,171 --> 00:14:43,214
That's a perfect amount.
224
00:14:49,555 --> 00:14:51,347
- You know what's weird?
- What?
225
00:14:51,557 --> 00:14:53,933
- This doesn't feel weird.
- I know.
226
00:14:54,101 --> 00:14:59,314
- You're a really good kisser.
- Well, I have kissed over four women.
227
00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:02,400
- You wanna get under the covers?
- Uh-huh.
228
00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:04,110
Okay.
229
00:15:13,037 --> 00:15:14,662
Wow, you are really fast.
230
00:15:14,872 --> 00:15:18,041
It bodes well for me
that speed impresses you.
231
00:15:19,418 --> 00:15:22,503
- We're gonna see each other naked.
- Yep.
232
00:15:22,671 --> 00:15:25,340
- You want to do it at the same time?
- Count of three?
233
00:15:25,507 --> 00:15:27,008
- One.
- Two.
234
00:15:27,176 --> 00:15:29,260
Three.
235
00:15:33,140 --> 00:15:37,185
Well, I think it's safe to say
that our friendship is effectively ruined.
236
00:15:37,394 --> 00:15:40,021
Eh, we weren't that close anyway.
237
00:15:41,982 --> 00:15:44,400
So are you really gonna go out
with that nurse-man?
238
00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:47,820
Well, uh, you and I
are just goofing around.
239
00:15:47,988 --> 00:15:51,616
I thought, why not
just goof around with him?
240
00:15:53,702 --> 00:15:57,956
I don't know if you've ever looked up
the term "goofing around" in the dictionary.
241
00:15:58,123 --> 00:16:00,416
Well, I have.
242
00:16:00,626 --> 00:16:05,588
And the technical definition
is two friends...
243
00:16:05,756 --> 00:16:12,053
...who care a lot about each other
and have amazing sex...
244
00:16:14,515 --> 00:16:18,810
...and just want to spend
more time together.
245
00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:22,146
But if you have this newfangled dictionary
that gets you mad at me...
246
00:16:22,314 --> 00:16:26,025
...then we have to, you know,
get you my original dictionary.
247
00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:30,571
I am so bad at this.
248
00:16:31,490 --> 00:16:33,783
I think you're better
than you think you are.
249
00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:37,787
- Really? Okay. So if...?
- Know when to stop.
250
00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:40,039
You know, I sensed that I should stop.
251
00:16:41,083 --> 00:16:43,292
- So we're okay?
- Yeah.
252
00:16:46,755 --> 00:16:49,465
- Don't do the dance.
- Right.
253
00:16:51,093 --> 00:16:53,428
I can't get married without
something old, something new...
254
00:16:53,595 --> 00:16:56,389
...something borrowed, something blue.
- Okay, okay.
255
00:16:56,598 --> 00:16:58,891
Here's something blue and new.
256
00:16:59,101 --> 00:17:01,602
You are so efficient. I love you.
257
00:17:01,937 --> 00:17:03,146
- Let's go.
- No, no, wait.
258
00:17:03,313 --> 00:17:05,023
We need something old.
259
00:17:05,232 --> 00:17:09,444
Okay. I have a condom in my wallet
that I've had since I was 12.
260
00:17:10,821 --> 00:17:12,488
That'll work.
261
00:17:12,656 --> 00:17:14,490
I don't think so.
262
00:17:15,242 --> 00:17:17,160
Okay. Now we just need
something borrowed.
263
00:17:18,829 --> 00:17:22,623
- Here, just take this.
- That's stealing.
264
00:17:22,833 --> 00:17:25,376
We'll bring it back.
Just put it under your dress.
265
00:17:32,634 --> 00:17:34,677
Aw.
266
00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:39,015
Okay, one thing at a time.
267
00:17:41,310 --> 00:17:43,144
Listen, um...
268
00:17:44,438 --> 00:17:46,731
...I've been thinking.
269
00:17:47,357 --> 00:17:51,152
It's not fair for me to ask you to spend
all of your money on our wedding.
270
00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:54,405
I mean, you work...
You work really hard for that.
271
00:17:54,615 --> 00:17:56,824
- Well...
- Well, you work for that.
272
00:17:58,744 --> 00:18:01,454
Look, I've thought about it too.
And...
273
00:18:01,622 --> 00:18:06,250
...I'm sorry. I think we should spend
all of the money on the wedding.
274
00:18:07,169 --> 00:18:11,172
- You do?
- Yeah. I'm putting my foot down.
275
00:18:12,883 --> 00:18:15,009
Yeah, look, when I proposed...
276
00:18:15,177 --> 00:18:19,305
...I told you that I would do anything
to make you happy.
277
00:18:19,473 --> 00:18:23,142
And if having the perfect wedding
makes you happy, then...
278
00:18:23,310 --> 00:18:25,269
Then that's what we're gonna do.
279
00:18:25,854 --> 00:18:28,314
You are so sweet.
280
00:18:30,734 --> 00:18:35,113
But wait. What about our...?
What about the future and stuff?
281
00:18:35,322 --> 00:18:39,075
Ah, forget about the future and stuff.
So we only have two kids.
282
00:18:39,243 --> 00:18:43,412
You know, we'll pick our favorite,
and that one will get to go to college.
283
00:18:44,623 --> 00:18:46,874
- You've thought about that?
- Yeah.
284
00:18:47,042 --> 00:18:51,087
- How many kids were we gonna have?
- Uh, four. A boy, twin girls...
285
00:18:51,255 --> 00:18:52,713
...and another boy.
286
00:18:54,466 --> 00:18:57,260
- What else did you think about?
- Well, heh...
287
00:18:57,427 --> 00:19:01,097
...stuff like where we'd live, you know.
288
00:19:01,306 --> 00:19:05,768
Like a small place outside the city where
our kids could ride their bikes and stuff.
289
00:19:05,936 --> 00:19:09,605
You know, we could have a cat
that had a bell on its collar...
290
00:19:09,773 --> 00:19:13,651
...and we could hear it every time
it ran through the little kitty door.
291
00:19:13,819 --> 00:19:18,114
Of course we'd have an apartment
over the garage where Joey could grow old.
292
00:19:23,412 --> 00:19:25,246
You know what?
293
00:19:25,789 --> 00:19:28,708
I don't...
I don't want a big, fancy wedding.
294
00:19:29,209 --> 00:19:31,377
- Sure you do.
- No.
295
00:19:32,671 --> 00:19:35,381
I want everything that you've just said.
296
00:19:35,549 --> 00:19:38,009
I want a marriage.
297
00:19:38,510 --> 00:19:40,761
- You sure?
- Mm-hm.
298
00:19:42,598 --> 00:19:46,726
- I love you so much.
- I love you.
299
00:19:59,156 --> 00:20:05,119
- Ah! Oh, I love it.
- Really? You're not gonna return it?
300
00:20:05,329 --> 00:20:06,787
Well, not this second.
301
00:20:09,625 --> 00:20:12,043
Hey, look, you guys. It's snowing.
302
00:20:12,252 --> 00:20:14,003
RACHEL:
Oh.
303
00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:20,468
- Oh, wow, it's so beautiful.
- Wow, it really is.
304
00:20:20,636 --> 00:20:22,220
RACHEL:
Ah.
305
00:20:23,013 --> 00:20:26,098
Wendy's a fat-girl name.
306
00:20:26,266 --> 00:20:28,768
PHOEBE:
Aren't we done with that?
307
00:20:28,936 --> 00:20:33,022
Okay, fine. Fine. Let's talk about snow.
308
00:20:34,107 --> 00:20:35,566
Do you think it's snowing in Tulsa...
309
00:20:35,734 --> 00:20:38,569
...where my husband's having sex
on a copying machine?
310
00:20:41,281 --> 00:20:43,532
- Hey.
- Oh, my God.
311
00:20:43,700 --> 00:20:45,660
JOEY: Hey.
RACHEL: Aw.
312
00:20:45,827 --> 00:20:49,372
Hey. Look at that.
It's a Christmas miracle.
313
00:20:51,458 --> 00:20:55,461
- What are you doing here?
- I wanted to be with you.
314
00:20:55,629 --> 00:20:57,380
I missed you so much.
315
00:20:57,547 --> 00:21:00,841
- Hey, hey, uh, who'd you miss the most?
- Monica.
316
00:21:02,094 --> 00:21:03,928
Gotcha.
317
00:21:06,473 --> 00:21:10,935
- I never wanna leave you again.
- But I thought if you left, you'd get fired.
318
00:21:11,144 --> 00:21:14,605
Turns out they can't fire me.
Because I quit.
319
00:21:14,982 --> 00:21:18,526
- What?
- What? You...? You really quit your job?
320
00:21:18,735 --> 00:21:22,196
Yeah. It was a stupid job,
and I could not stand leaving you.
321
00:21:22,489 --> 00:21:24,740
And why should I be the only one
who doesn't get to do...
322
00:21:24,908 --> 00:21:26,200
...what he really wants to do?
323
00:21:26,410 --> 00:21:31,330
- Well, what do you really wanna do?
- I have not thought this through.
324
00:21:31,999 --> 00:21:35,501
- Oh, my God.
- I know. I should've talked to you first.
325
00:21:35,711 --> 00:21:38,879
No, I think that this is what
you wanna do. I think it's great.
326
00:21:39,798 --> 00:21:41,674
Thanks.
327
00:21:41,883 --> 00:21:46,971
Chandler, your being here is the best
Christmas present I could ever imagine.
328
00:21:47,222 --> 00:21:48,306
Aw.
329
00:21:48,515 --> 00:21:51,017
- Now give me my real gift.
CHANDLER: Yeah.
330
00:21:51,184 --> 00:21:53,227
PHOEBE: Thank you.
- Here, pass those around.
331
00:21:53,812 --> 00:21:55,771
ROSS:
Oh, hey.
332
00:22:01,611 --> 00:22:05,906
"A donation has been made in your name
to the New York City Ballet."
333
00:22:07,659 --> 00:22:09,994
How did you know?
334
00:22:10,162 --> 00:22:14,165
What? Are you kidding?
I can't return this.
335
00:22:15,334 --> 00:22:17,710
I thought it was time we started
thinking about other people.
336
00:22:17,878 --> 00:22:20,338
And besides, this gift still says
I love you guys.
337
00:22:20,547 --> 00:22:24,342
- Mine says, "To Lillian Myers."
- I don't have a job.
338
00:22:29,556 --> 00:22:32,141
Actuary? No.
339
00:22:32,476 --> 00:22:35,644
Bookkeeper? Hmm, no.
340
00:22:35,812 --> 00:22:38,397
Topless dancer?
341
00:22:43,820 --> 00:22:47,365
Hey, you know what I just realized?
You are the sole wage earner.
342
00:22:47,532 --> 00:22:53,037
You are the head of the household.
I don't do anything. I'm a kept man.
343
00:22:53,246 --> 00:22:54,747
You are.
344
00:22:54,915 --> 00:22:56,332
Honey, here's 20 bucks.
345
00:22:56,625 --> 00:22:59,251
Go buy yourself something pretty
while I'm at work tomorrow.
346
00:23:06,385 --> 00:23:08,386
[English - US - SDH]
28246
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof