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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:32,700 --> 00:01:35,100 Lilly's throwing a fit out in the car. 2 00:01:35,100 --> 00:01:36,840 She wants us to hurry. 3 00:02:08,370 --> 00:02:09,710 What are you doing? 4 00:02:10,940 --> 00:02:13,010 Having fun. 5 00:02:13,010 --> 00:02:14,380 Join in. 6 00:03:14,970 --> 00:03:16,170 Come on, Zack. 7 00:03:16,170 --> 00:03:17,870 Enjoy the ride. 8 00:04:06,890 --> 00:04:08,260 Zack? 9 00:04:08,260 --> 00:04:09,630 Hello? 10 00:04:09,630 --> 00:04:11,030 Are you listening? 11 00:04:11,030 --> 00:04:12,230 Huh? 12 00:04:12,230 --> 00:04:14,160 Sorry, I was just thinking 13 00:04:14,160 --> 00:04:16,100 about this gay resort we're going to. 14 00:04:16,100 --> 00:04:18,430 You make it sound like a bad thing. 15 00:04:18,430 --> 00:04:20,440 We won a free vacation, 16 00:04:20,440 --> 00:04:22,310 and it's gay. 17 00:04:22,310 --> 00:04:23,870 What more could you want? 18 00:04:27,340 --> 00:04:29,210 Is it the open thing? 19 00:04:29,210 --> 00:04:30,610 We talked about this. 20 00:04:30,610 --> 00:04:33,450 I know. 21 00:04:33,450 --> 00:04:35,280 It's just for the weekend, 22 00:04:35,280 --> 00:04:37,050 but I'm nervous. 23 00:04:37,050 --> 00:04:40,460 I mean, I was always the last one picked in gym class. 24 00:04:40,460 --> 00:04:42,290 I don't want to lose you, 25 00:04:42,290 --> 00:04:43,960 but it's something that's in my gut. 26 00:04:43,960 --> 00:04:47,830 I'm just not ready to limit myself sexually. 27 00:04:47,830 --> 00:04:52,170 So if we can't do this, we should just be honest 28 00:04:52,170 --> 00:04:54,470 and break up. 29 00:04:54,470 --> 00:04:55,810 I don't want to break up. 30 00:04:55,810 --> 00:04:58,170 I don't either. 31 00:04:59,510 --> 00:05:03,210 And I do like sex. 32 00:05:03,210 --> 00:05:06,520 Picture the entire Manhunt website 33 00:05:06,520 --> 00:05:08,590 stuffed into one hotel. 34 00:05:08,590 --> 00:05:11,390 We could have so much fun... 35 00:05:11,390 --> 00:05:13,560 together. 36 00:05:13,560 --> 00:05:15,190 It's just that sleeping with other guys 37 00:05:15,190 --> 00:05:16,960 is not how I imagined my relationship. 38 00:05:16,960 --> 00:05:20,560 Come on. Its one open weekend. 39 00:05:20,560 --> 00:05:22,300 At least try it. 40 00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:27,170 Okay. 41 00:05:27,170 --> 00:05:30,070 One open weekend. 42 00:05:30,070 --> 00:05:31,370 Yay. 43 00:05:31,370 --> 00:05:33,210 I lurve you. 44 00:05:33,210 --> 00:05:34,540 I lurve you, too. 45 00:05:35,850 --> 00:05:37,180 You guys need to talk? 46 00:05:38,380 --> 00:05:41,620 ♪♪ 47 00:05:41,620 --> 00:05:43,450 ♪ We can dance, we can dance ♪ 48 00:05:43,450 --> 00:05:45,190 ♪ We can dance all night ♪ 49 00:05:45,190 --> 00:05:47,190 ♪ We can dance, we can dance ♪ 50 00:05:47,190 --> 00:05:50,060 ♪ We can dance all night ♪ 51 00:05:50,060 --> 00:05:53,400 ♪ Tonight is the night I'm gonna make you mine ♪ 52 00:05:53,400 --> 00:05:55,560 ♪ There's a feeling in the air ♪ 53 00:05:55,560 --> 00:05:57,600 ♪ I can't deny ♪ 54 00:05:57,600 --> 00:05:59,200 ♪ Tonight we're gonna dance ♪ 55 00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:01,640 ♪ I'll be your partner in crime ♪ 56 00:06:01,640 --> 00:06:03,640 ♪ Got me on another level ♪ 57 00:06:03,640 --> 00:06:05,410 ♪ I'll show you what I ♪ 58 00:06:05,410 --> 00:06:09,550 ♪ When I touch you, my hands catch fire ♪ 59 00:06:09,550 --> 00:06:12,020 ♪ I can't stop dancing ♪ 60 00:06:12,020 --> 00:06:13,950 ♪ Take me higher ♪ 61 00:06:13,950 --> 00:06:17,890 ♪ Feel so good, I think I'm flying ♪ 62 00:06:17,890 --> 00:06:19,820 ♪ Put your hands up ♪ 63 00:06:19,820 --> 00:06:21,790 ♪ Let's go higher ♪ 64 00:06:21,790 --> 00:06:25,730 ♪ Take my hand and hold on tight ♪ 65 00:06:25,730 --> 00:06:30,030 ♪ 'Cause when I'm with you, it feels so right ♪ 66 00:06:30,030 --> 00:06:31,600 ♪ Don't let go ♪ 67 00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:33,340 ♪ Let's dance all night ♪ 68 00:06:33,340 --> 00:06:35,510 ♪ We can dance, we can dance ♪ 69 00:06:35,510 --> 00:06:38,110 ♪ We can dance all night ♪ 70 00:06:38,110 --> 00:06:41,510 ♪ Take my hand and hold on tight ♪ 71 00:06:41,510 --> 00:06:45,850 ♪ 'Cause when I'm with you, it feels so right ♪ 72 00:06:45,850 --> 00:06:47,350 ♪ Don't let go ♪ 73 00:06:47,350 --> 00:06:49,320 ♪ Let's dance all night ♪ 74 00:06:49,320 --> 00:06:51,520 ♪ We can dance, we can dance ♪ 75 00:06:51,520 --> 00:06:53,890 ♪ We can dance all night ♪ 76 00:06:53,890 --> 00:06:57,290 ♪ Take my hand and hold on tight ♪ 77 00:06:57,290 --> 00:07:02,000 ♪ When I'm with you, it feels so right ♪ 78 00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:03,330 ♪ Don't let go ♪ 79 00:07:03,330 --> 00:07:05,300 ♪ Let's dance all night ♪ 80 00:07:05,300 --> 00:07:07,170 ♪ We can dance, we can dance ♪ 81 00:07:07,170 --> 00:07:09,840 ♪ We can dance all night ♪ 82 00:07:14,980 --> 00:07:16,480 Just my luck to win a free vacation 83 00:07:16,480 --> 00:07:18,880 to a resort that's totally gayified. 84 00:07:18,880 --> 00:07:20,780 I know. 85 00:07:20,780 --> 00:07:22,150 Remember when I asked 86 00:07:22,150 --> 00:07:24,350 what could possibly be gayer than Drama Camp? 87 00:07:24,350 --> 00:07:25,560 Screw you, too. 88 00:07:25,560 --> 00:07:27,860 - Excuse me? - Look around. 89 00:07:27,860 --> 00:07:29,490 You're in fucking paradise, surrounded by beautiful men. 90 00:07:29,490 --> 00:07:30,890 And it's free. 91 00:07:30,890 --> 00:07:33,100 Now drop your uppity Katy Perry attitudes, 92 00:07:33,100 --> 00:07:37,300 or the computer might accidentally eat your reservations. 93 00:07:37,300 --> 00:07:38,570 You're right. 94 00:07:38,570 --> 00:07:41,440 I'll just uh tie a flashlight to my head, 95 00:07:41,440 --> 00:07:42,770 act like Lady Gaga, 96 00:07:42,770 --> 00:07:44,110 and the men will flock to me. 97 00:07:44,110 --> 00:07:46,040 Now, that's the spirit. 98 00:07:46,040 --> 00:07:48,080 And here they are. 99 00:07:48,080 --> 00:07:49,580 I think the batteries are dead. 100 00:07:49,580 --> 00:07:51,980 You know that's not a flashlight, right? 101 00:07:54,480 --> 00:07:57,820 Now, that is how you attract the boys around here-- 102 00:07:57,820 --> 00:07:59,590 With sweet, sweet nectar. 103 00:08:03,130 --> 00:08:04,760 Oh, come on Casey. 104 00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:07,700 If I wasn't me, I'd totally be laughing right now. 105 00:08:07,700 --> 00:08:09,300 What's wrong with you? 106 00:08:09,300 --> 00:08:13,140 My ex-boyfriend and his new boyfriend just texted. 107 00:08:13,140 --> 00:08:16,740 They're here staying in Room 3. 108 00:08:16,740 --> 00:08:18,310 Your keys. 109 00:08:18,310 --> 00:08:22,010 Room 4. 110 00:08:22,010 --> 00:08:23,610 Hey, I'm supposed to get my own room. 111 00:08:23,610 --> 00:08:25,920 And I'm supposed to be nice to customers. 112 00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:27,920 - Next! - What? Wait. 113 00:08:27,920 --> 00:08:29,850 If you're gonna cry like Baby Jesus, 114 00:08:29,850 --> 00:08:31,620 I can put you out back in the manger. 115 00:08:31,620 --> 00:08:33,920 Oh, my God, we share a bed. 116 00:08:33,920 --> 00:08:36,560 Welcome to the Triangle Inn. 117 00:08:36,560 --> 00:08:39,360 Eh, Eh. Come on. 118 00:08:40,630 --> 00:08:42,870 You have really nice energy. 119 00:08:48,670 --> 00:08:51,570 Well, at least Zack will be with his boyfriend, 120 00:08:51,570 --> 00:08:55,110 so you don't have to watch him whore it up with a... 121 00:08:55,110 --> 00:08:58,580 never ending parade of man-whores with muscles 122 00:08:58,580 --> 00:08:59,980 and huge sacks of ball-age. 123 00:08:59,980 --> 00:09:01,820 I'm ready to leave. Now. 124 00:09:01,820 --> 00:09:03,750 No, Casey you can't! 125 00:09:03,750 --> 00:09:05,250 This is too much for me. 126 00:09:05,250 --> 00:09:10,390 I need to call some more experienced fag hags. 127 00:09:13,500 --> 00:09:15,000 Hello? 128 00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:16,130 This better be good. 129 00:09:16,130 --> 00:09:17,600 Casey's wussing out 130 00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:18,870 because Zack's here, 131 00:09:18,870 --> 00:09:20,140 and there's lots of hot guys, too. 132 00:09:20,140 --> 00:09:21,570 Do I even know you? 133 00:09:21,570 --> 00:09:24,610 Honey, just pretend he doesn't exist. 134 00:09:24,610 --> 00:09:27,110 Gays do that all the time to with their exes. 135 00:09:27,110 --> 00:09:28,980 It's the mature thing to do. 136 00:09:28,980 --> 00:09:30,910 I can't ignore him. 137 00:09:30,910 --> 00:09:33,520 He wants to work on our friendship this weekend. 138 00:09:33,520 --> 00:09:35,450 He wants us to normalize. 139 00:09:35,450 --> 00:09:37,650 It's like when you put a new fish in the tank, 140 00:09:37,650 --> 00:09:39,490 you have to keep it in the bag for a while 141 00:09:39,490 --> 00:09:40,960 so the others don't eat its eyes. 142 00:09:40,960 --> 00:09:42,590 Girl voice, hush. 143 00:09:42,590 --> 00:09:45,090 Casey, just be his friend 144 00:09:45,090 --> 00:09:46,660 and have an obnoxious amount of fun. 145 00:09:46,660 --> 00:09:50,130 Show that assgoblin what he's missing. 146 00:09:50,130 --> 00:09:51,770 You can't be friends after a break-up. 147 00:09:51,770 --> 00:09:55,810 I thought you told him that you wanted to be friends. 148 00:09:55,810 --> 00:09:57,310 Everyone says that. 149 00:09:57,310 --> 00:09:58,670 It's just so you can go around telling people 150 00:09:58,670 --> 00:10:00,110 you're still friends. 151 00:10:00,110 --> 00:10:02,080 Wait, whose side did I take in this break up? 152 00:10:02,080 --> 00:10:03,510 Do I even like you? 153 00:10:03,510 --> 00:10:04,680 You took my side. 154 00:10:04,680 --> 00:10:05,820 You knew me first. 155 00:10:05,820 --> 00:10:07,220 Oh, is that how that works? 156 00:10:07,220 --> 00:10:11,220 Look, honey, this weekend is not about Zack. 157 00:10:11,220 --> 00:10:13,720 Just concentrate on having a really good time. 158 00:10:13,720 --> 00:10:16,090 Aunt Helen, are you having sex in my bed? 159 00:10:16,090 --> 00:10:18,230 I wouldn't call it sex. 160 00:10:18,230 --> 00:10:21,600 The best thing to do is to find someone hotter than Zack and fuck him. 161 00:10:21,600 --> 00:10:23,870 And what are you doing? 162 00:10:23,870 --> 00:10:26,100 It's a long story. 163 00:10:26,100 --> 00:10:27,570 I'll explain it in the sequel. 164 00:10:27,570 --> 00:10:28,740 Gotta go. 165 00:10:28,740 --> 00:10:31,210 Bye. 166 00:10:34,440 --> 00:10:37,950 So I guess my goal this weekend 167 00:10:37,950 --> 00:10:39,680 is to stay distracted. 168 00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:42,750 My goal is to watch two men have sex. 169 00:10:42,750 --> 00:10:44,120 You've seen that. 170 00:10:44,120 --> 00:10:46,260 It doesn't count when it's on stage. 171 00:10:46,260 --> 00:10:48,520 Here it's like I'm on a safari 172 00:10:48,520 --> 00:10:51,660 watching lions and gazelles tear each other up 173 00:10:51,660 --> 00:10:54,730 in a frenzy of flesh and spermicidal lubricant. 174 00:10:54,730 --> 00:10:57,970 Wouldn't you actually rather just have sex? 175 00:10:57,970 --> 00:10:59,970 What, with a gay man? 176 00:10:59,970 --> 00:11:03,140 And wind up with a vagina full of vomit? 177 00:11:03,140 --> 00:11:06,410 Been there. 178 00:11:06,410 --> 00:11:09,650 Oh my God, my straight-dar just went off. 179 00:11:09,650 --> 00:11:12,580 Maybe I could lose my virginity on this trip. 180 00:11:14,250 --> 00:11:16,120 Tell me what happened, 181 00:11:16,120 --> 00:11:17,820 but I'm gonna stop you if I get bored. 182 00:11:17,820 --> 00:11:20,420 He doesn't want to limit himself sexually. 183 00:11:20,420 --> 00:11:22,190 How Catholic. 184 00:11:22,190 --> 00:11:27,000 Miami Beach or Black Giraffe. 185 00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:30,070 Which says "Look at me" without saying "desperate for attention"? 186 00:11:31,770 --> 00:11:33,240 I ordered cocktails. 187 00:11:33,240 --> 00:11:34,600 I figured we'd need them. 188 00:11:37,910 --> 00:11:39,610 Why, hello. 189 00:11:39,610 --> 00:11:41,010 How are you? 190 00:11:41,010 --> 00:11:42,710 Heterosexual. 191 00:11:42,710 --> 00:11:44,710 How about you? 192 00:11:44,710 --> 00:11:46,520 I am straight, yes. 193 00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:48,780 I wasn't expecting any of that here. 194 00:11:48,780 --> 00:11:51,120 Well, I'm full of surprises. 195 00:11:51,120 --> 00:11:52,760 - Are you flirting with me? - Should I stop? 196 00:11:52,760 --> 00:11:55,160 Only if it doesn't work. 197 00:11:55,160 --> 00:11:56,690 Lilly, come on. 198 00:11:56,690 --> 00:11:59,600 Sorry, I have to go feed my gayby. 199 00:12:05,300 --> 00:12:06,700 It's like cock roulette out here. 200 00:12:08,140 --> 00:12:10,470 You should have no problem finding a rebound. 201 00:12:10,470 --> 00:12:12,240 Hmm. I don't do rebounds. 202 00:12:12,240 --> 00:12:14,580 Rebounds are my specialty. 203 00:12:14,580 --> 00:12:16,810 - Peter? - Casey. 204 00:12:16,810 --> 00:12:18,550 I thought that was you. 205 00:12:18,550 --> 00:12:20,480 What are you doing here? I didn't know you were gay. 206 00:12:20,480 --> 00:12:22,850 What are you doing here? I didn't know you were a slut. 207 00:12:22,850 --> 00:12:24,790 Oh, my God, this is crazy. 208 00:12:24,790 --> 00:12:26,990 Umm. In high school, he was-- 209 00:12:26,990 --> 00:12:28,290 The homophobic jock? 210 00:12:28,290 --> 00:12:29,790 I've seen Glee. 211 00:12:29,790 --> 00:12:32,830 God, I wish. I was fat. 212 00:12:32,830 --> 00:12:33,930 - No. - And shy. 213 00:12:33,930 --> 00:12:37,170 When did you get so-- so hot? 214 00:12:37,170 --> 00:12:38,270 In college. 215 00:12:38,270 --> 00:12:39,500 I turned gay, 216 00:12:39,500 --> 00:12:43,370 I got rid of my braces, and I got these. 217 00:12:43,370 --> 00:12:44,210 Wow. 218 00:12:44,210 --> 00:12:46,640 Is that, like, a 50-pack? 219 00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:48,010 Feel them. 220 00:12:48,010 --> 00:12:50,550 Its like The Situation, just without the scabies. 221 00:12:50,550 --> 00:12:52,380 Oh, cool. 222 00:12:52,380 --> 00:12:56,020 Is it me, or does something smell really cummy? 223 00:12:56,020 --> 00:12:58,790 So, Peter, are you single? 224 00:12:58,790 --> 00:13:00,890 What's the point of coming to a place like this 225 00:13:00,890 --> 00:13:02,160 if you're not single? 226 00:13:02,160 --> 00:13:03,930 Casey's single, too. 227 00:13:03,930 --> 00:13:05,530 Oh, my God. 228 00:13:05,530 --> 00:13:08,700 You and I are gonna get into so much trouble. 229 00:13:08,700 --> 00:13:11,430 Anyway, I gotta go meet with a buddy 230 00:13:11,430 --> 00:13:12,430 to play some strip tennis, 231 00:13:12,430 --> 00:13:14,670 but tonight, sarong party. 232 00:13:14,670 --> 00:13:16,100 I will find you. 233 00:13:16,100 --> 00:13:18,110 I will make sure I'm findable. 234 00:13:18,110 --> 00:13:21,240 So amazing seeing you, Casey. 235 00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:23,280 I used to have the biggest crush on this one. 236 00:13:27,520 --> 00:13:30,550 He totally wants you inside of-- 237 00:13:30,550 --> 00:13:33,660 He wants the Million Man March inside of him. 238 00:13:33,660 --> 00:13:35,420 Aw, poor thing. 239 00:13:35,420 --> 00:13:37,360 Let's go get you to our room 240 00:13:37,360 --> 00:13:40,130 and download some "It Gets Better" videos. 241 00:13:41,860 --> 00:13:44,930 So tell me, what are the rules to this open relationship? 242 00:13:44,930 --> 00:13:46,570 Well, we're just trying it for the weekend, 243 00:13:46,570 --> 00:13:48,140 but other than that we don't have any rules. 244 00:13:48,140 --> 00:13:50,770 You need to have rules, or someone's gonna get hurt, 245 00:13:50,770 --> 00:13:53,710 like do you kiss and tell, three-ways only? 246 00:13:53,710 --> 00:13:55,410 Is he allowed to get punch fucked 247 00:13:55,410 --> 00:13:57,750 by hairy strangers right here in your bed? 248 00:13:58,750 --> 00:14:00,680 - You know the worst part? - STDs? 249 00:14:00,680 --> 00:14:04,020 I have to compete with my own boyfriend to meet guys, 250 00:14:04,020 --> 00:14:07,960 and he'll win every time because he's the hot one. 251 00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:10,430 Now I know how Casey felt when he was dating me. 252 00:14:12,460 --> 00:14:15,870 - Well, I got good news. - What? 253 00:14:15,870 --> 00:14:20,340 I finally got the date on my surgery. 254 00:14:20,340 --> 00:14:22,710 The big one. 255 00:14:22,710 --> 00:14:24,410 The lower one. 256 00:14:24,410 --> 00:14:27,940 - Make a face like that again. - Sorry. 257 00:14:27,940 --> 00:14:29,380 Congratulations. 258 00:14:29,380 --> 00:14:31,410 That's huge. 259 00:14:31,410 --> 00:14:33,150 Way more important than my drama. 260 00:14:33,150 --> 00:14:34,980 Thank you. 261 00:14:34,980 --> 00:14:38,550 So do you really think it's going to change everything? 262 00:14:38,550 --> 00:14:41,720 In my mind I know it's just a simple procedure 263 00:14:41,720 --> 00:14:44,630 and a lot of people won't even know the difference, 264 00:14:44,630 --> 00:14:49,800 but I feel like when I wake up from this, 265 00:14:49,800 --> 00:14:51,270 I'll finally be me. 266 00:14:53,640 --> 00:14:56,370 - Well, then let's celebrate. - Yes. 267 00:14:56,370 --> 00:14:59,940 This weekend will be a cock-and-ball funeral. 268 00:14:59,940 --> 00:15:02,250 Let's find that straight boy and get more drinks. 269 00:15:04,350 --> 00:15:05,880 Ooh, baby. 270 00:15:12,190 --> 00:15:15,420 There are so many hot guys here. 271 00:15:15,420 --> 00:15:18,230 Okay, we need to lay down some rules. 272 00:15:18,230 --> 00:15:19,530 Rules? 273 00:15:19,530 --> 00:15:21,600 Yeah, like no hooking up in our bed. 274 00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:23,800 Technically, it's not our bed. 275 00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:25,470 Benji. 276 00:15:25,470 --> 00:15:28,570 Okay, I just don't get why you need rules. 277 00:15:28,570 --> 00:15:29,770 It's our right as gay men 278 00:15:29,770 --> 00:15:32,740 to make any kind of relationship we want. 279 00:15:32,740 --> 00:15:34,310 If they're not gonna let us get married, 280 00:15:34,310 --> 00:15:36,780 why should we follow their rules? 281 00:15:36,780 --> 00:15:39,480 Non-monogamy is the ultimate political statement. 282 00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:41,420 Uh, I don't see how two dicks in your mouth 283 00:15:41,420 --> 00:15:42,790 is a political statement. 284 00:15:42,790 --> 00:15:45,250 We owe it to future generations. 285 00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:51,560 Casey's here. 286 00:15:53,260 --> 00:15:54,760 Operation Awkward. 287 00:15:57,830 --> 00:16:02,240 Okay, rule number two-- 288 00:16:03,770 --> 00:16:06,010 No ex-boyfriends. 289 00:16:06,010 --> 00:16:07,510 I'll see you later. 290 00:16:10,150 --> 00:16:11,810 I'm not pathetic. 291 00:16:11,810 --> 00:16:14,150 I'm having the best time of my life, 292 00:16:14,150 --> 00:16:16,520 and I am a total 7. 293 00:16:19,660 --> 00:16:21,620 Hey, Zack. 294 00:16:21,620 --> 00:16:24,090 Oh, wow, I love your-- 295 00:16:24,090 --> 00:16:25,960 Uh, chest hair. 296 00:16:27,360 --> 00:16:29,230 God, I've missed you. 297 00:16:29,230 --> 00:16:30,270 How're you doing? 298 00:16:30,270 --> 00:16:31,700 Um, me? 299 00:16:31,700 --> 00:16:33,900 I'm-- 300 00:16:33,900 --> 00:16:36,110 I'm great, actually. 301 00:16:36,110 --> 00:16:39,510 How can you not be with all these studs around, you know? 302 00:16:39,510 --> 00:16:41,310 Yeah, lots of studs. 303 00:16:41,310 --> 00:16:44,310 Oh, just throwing themselves at me-- 304 00:16:44,310 --> 00:16:45,510 How could I resist? 305 00:16:45,510 --> 00:16:47,850 You met someone already? 306 00:16:47,850 --> 00:16:51,750 Well, I guess I'm kind of a dick magnet. 307 00:16:51,750 --> 00:16:53,760 I never thought of you as a hook-up guy. 308 00:16:53,760 --> 00:16:56,090 Oh, this wasn't just a hook up. 309 00:16:56,090 --> 00:16:59,360 We-- We really just hit it off. 310 00:16:59,360 --> 00:17:02,030 Oh. 311 00:17:02,030 --> 00:17:03,430 Where's your Casanova now? 312 00:17:03,430 --> 00:17:08,000 He's-- He's sleeping. 313 00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:09,240 Guess I wore him out. 314 00:17:09,240 --> 00:17:13,540 Wow. That's great. 315 00:17:13,540 --> 00:17:16,080 We should do a double date while we're here. 316 00:17:16,080 --> 00:17:19,180 Yeah. Oh, definitely. 317 00:17:19,180 --> 00:17:22,580 Ah, so how are you and Benji? 318 00:17:22,580 --> 00:17:25,320 Having a good time? 319 00:17:25,320 --> 00:17:28,260 - The best. - Great. 320 00:17:28,260 --> 00:17:30,560 So tomorrow, brunch? 321 00:17:30,560 --> 00:17:34,230 - Huh? - Double date with your new boo? 322 00:17:34,230 --> 00:17:35,560 Um, yeah. 323 00:17:35,560 --> 00:17:37,970 Sure. Sure... 324 00:17:37,970 --> 00:17:39,200 Awesome. 325 00:17:39,200 --> 00:17:41,200 See? We can do this. 326 00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:42,670 Be friends. 327 00:17:44,310 --> 00:17:45,880 Friendship rocks. 328 00:17:56,020 --> 00:17:59,490 - This is the perfect place to find your meat puppet. - My what? 329 00:17:59,490 --> 00:18:00,790 Some big dumb jock 330 00:18:00,790 --> 00:18:02,660 who will pretend to be in love with you 331 00:18:02,660 --> 00:18:06,400 for a free brunch and some rebound MuMa. 332 00:18:06,400 --> 00:18:08,900 - MuMa? - Mutual Masturbation. 333 00:18:08,900 --> 00:18:10,930 Even I knew that. 334 00:18:10,930 --> 00:18:14,400 What about... him? 335 00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:17,370 Oh, he's cute. 336 00:18:17,370 --> 00:18:19,540 I'd definitely MuMa him. 337 00:18:23,850 --> 00:18:26,220 He's not wearing any underwear. 338 00:18:26,220 --> 00:18:30,020 None of them are. It's customary, I think. 339 00:18:30,020 --> 00:18:31,790 So I can just run around 340 00:18:31,790 --> 00:18:34,320 accidentally fondling big shiny ding dongs? 341 00:18:34,320 --> 00:18:36,090 I think they'd be insulted if you didn't. 342 00:18:39,130 --> 00:18:43,400 You are the hottest guy here. 343 00:18:44,730 --> 00:18:47,670 Okay, okay. 344 00:18:50,540 --> 00:18:53,280 You are the hottest guy here. 345 00:18:54,940 --> 00:18:56,980 Is it bad that I want him to say that to me again? 346 00:18:57,880 --> 00:18:59,520 You can almost see the crabs 347 00:18:59,520 --> 00:19:01,480 leaping from one torso to the other. 348 00:19:01,480 --> 00:19:06,760 - Jerry? - In the very loose flesh. 349 00:19:06,760 --> 00:19:09,430 This is Bernard, my fiancé. 350 00:19:09,430 --> 00:19:12,390 - Hello. - I'm Penny, hag-in-training. 351 00:19:12,390 --> 00:19:14,100 Fiancé- wow. 352 00:19:14,100 --> 00:19:16,000 We're getting legally married this weekend. 353 00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:17,230 What? 354 00:19:17,230 --> 00:19:20,270 You haven't heard about the Liberace Loophole? 355 00:19:20,270 --> 00:19:22,100 Who's Liberace? 356 00:19:22,100 --> 00:19:24,170 Think George Michael, only sluttier. 357 00:19:24,170 --> 00:19:25,840 Who's George Michael? 358 00:19:25,840 --> 00:19:28,840 Think Adam Lambert, but with plastic surgery and success. 359 00:19:28,840 --> 00:19:30,280 Oh, okay. 360 00:19:30,280 --> 00:19:33,350 Anyway, because of some legislative screw-up, 361 00:19:33,350 --> 00:19:34,720 there's a one hour window 362 00:19:34,720 --> 00:19:36,450 in which it will be legally permissible 363 00:19:36,450 --> 00:19:38,050 for gays to marry. 364 00:19:38,050 --> 00:19:39,960 We're staying over at the Hacienda resort 365 00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:42,090 and they're offering free weddings 366 00:19:42,090 --> 00:19:44,560 for any couple who wants to take advantage of the opening. 367 00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:46,300 I love to taking advantage of openings. 368 00:19:46,300 --> 00:19:48,160 As you can see, 369 00:19:48,160 --> 00:19:51,700 he shares my inappropriate and pedestrian sense of humor. 370 00:19:51,700 --> 00:19:53,230 Well, I totally be your flower girl. 371 00:19:53,230 --> 00:19:55,800 Where's that strapping young boyfriend of yours? 372 00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:59,470 Um, it's-- it's a long story. 373 00:19:59,470 --> 00:20:01,710 Oh, honey, what happened? 374 00:20:01,710 --> 00:20:04,380 I thought you were as steady as Barack and Michelle. 375 00:20:04,380 --> 00:20:06,850 Well, he's... 376 00:20:08,350 --> 00:20:10,090 here. Gotta go. 377 00:20:14,120 --> 00:20:17,230 - Youth. - The trolls of tomorrow. 378 00:20:23,730 --> 00:20:25,830 What're you doing to my dick? 379 00:20:25,830 --> 00:20:26,740 Nothing. 380 00:20:26,740 --> 00:20:30,540 Peter, here's the deal. 381 00:20:30,540 --> 00:20:32,040 Oh, God, those abs. 382 00:20:32,040 --> 00:20:33,810 Casey did a really stupid thing 383 00:20:33,810 --> 00:20:35,880 and lied to his ex that he met someone here 384 00:20:35,880 --> 00:20:37,410 because he didn't want to look like the loser 385 00:20:37,410 --> 00:20:39,010 that he may very well be, 386 00:20:39,010 --> 00:20:41,520 so we need you to pretend to be Casey's boyfriend. 387 00:20:41,520 --> 00:20:43,350 No way. 388 00:20:43,350 --> 00:20:45,020 I'm here to get my sex on. 389 00:20:45,020 --> 00:20:46,920 Please, for old time's sake? 390 00:20:46,920 --> 00:20:48,420 We didn't hang out at all in high school. 391 00:20:48,420 --> 00:20:52,090 So you've got a lot of catching up to do. 392 00:20:52,090 --> 00:20:54,360 Look, I'm all for hooking with you. 393 00:20:54,360 --> 00:20:56,560 But I'm not in a place where I can date right now, 394 00:20:56,560 --> 00:20:59,270 pretend or otherwise. 395 00:20:59,270 --> 00:21:02,810 Wait, you're all for hooking up with me? 396 00:21:05,070 --> 00:21:07,840 Shit. 397 00:21:07,840 --> 00:21:09,910 Is this your new boyfriend? 398 00:21:11,610 --> 00:21:13,180 Um... 399 00:21:14,720 --> 00:21:16,950 Hi, I'm Peter. 400 00:21:16,950 --> 00:21:19,360 I'm Zack. This is my-- 401 00:21:19,360 --> 00:21:21,360 Benji. 402 00:21:21,360 --> 00:21:24,460 Your dish towel's slipping. 403 00:21:24,460 --> 00:21:25,930 Oh, yeah, it is. 404 00:21:25,930 --> 00:21:27,730 Are we on for tomorrow morning? 405 00:21:27,730 --> 00:21:29,830 Uh, I don't know. 406 00:21:29,830 --> 00:21:31,970 Are we free for brunch tomorrow, baby? 407 00:21:31,970 --> 00:21:34,370 As long as it starts after 3:00 p.m. 408 00:21:34,370 --> 00:21:37,040 'Cause we'll be up all night making love. 409 00:21:37,040 --> 00:21:38,340 Right, lover? 410 00:21:38,340 --> 00:21:41,780 Something like that, my sweet little asshole. 411 00:21:41,780 --> 00:21:44,250 Great. Well, we're gonna go dance. 412 00:21:52,350 --> 00:21:55,930 You are so buying me drinks the rest of the weekend. 413 00:22:03,030 --> 00:22:05,700 ♪ Fingers to the head, to the toes ♪ 414 00:22:05,700 --> 00:22:07,440 ♪ Like some kind of rose ♪ 415 00:22:07,440 --> 00:22:11,540 ♪ Like something you'd notice ♪ 416 00:22:11,540 --> 00:22:13,710 ♪ In a room full of confusion ♪ 417 00:22:13,710 --> 00:22:17,210 ♪ And illusion and delusion ♪ 418 00:22:17,210 --> 00:22:19,950 ♪ There's someone saying something to you ♪ 419 00:22:19,950 --> 00:22:21,920 ♪ But what can you do? 420 00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:25,690 ♪ You're just hoping and hoping ♪ 421 00:22:25,690 --> 00:22:27,460 ♪ But a rose is just a rose ♪ 422 00:22:27,460 --> 00:22:29,490 ♪ Until she's underneath your nose ♪ 423 00:22:29,490 --> 00:22:32,830 ♪ And you see her in the room ♪ 424 00:22:32,830 --> 00:22:36,270 ♪ And you smell her perfume ♪ 425 00:22:36,270 --> 00:22:41,870 ♪ What a fuss, and she's just the one for us ♪ 426 00:22:41,870 --> 00:22:45,010 ♪ You're taking it in stride, but you know ♪ 427 00:22:45,010 --> 00:22:50,480 ♪ That people you know are beginning to notice ♪ 428 00:22:50,480 --> 00:22:56,150 ♪ Your words full of confusion and illusion and delusion ♪ 429 00:22:56,150 --> 00:22:59,020 ♪ And the girl you brought to party with you ♪ 430 00:22:59,020 --> 00:23:02,260 - Have fun? - Yeah. 431 00:23:02,260 --> 00:23:03,690 Busy steam room here. 432 00:23:03,690 --> 00:23:06,560 How bout you? 433 00:23:06,560 --> 00:23:08,130 Yep. 434 00:23:11,200 --> 00:23:15,700 Oh, really? You met someone? 435 00:23:15,700 --> 00:23:17,170 Mm... 436 00:23:17,170 --> 00:23:20,340 Well, congratulations, tramp. 437 00:23:20,340 --> 00:23:23,380 Hey, maybe we can get a little threesome going? 438 00:23:26,650 --> 00:23:28,420 I saw you come out of that room. 439 00:23:28,420 --> 00:23:31,320 I can't believe you had a threesome before brunch. 440 00:23:31,320 --> 00:23:33,990 Oh, my God, a gay guy's acting slutty. Call TMZ. 441 00:23:33,990 --> 00:23:35,860 Just be careful, all right? 442 00:23:35,860 --> 00:23:38,290 If Zack sees you with someone who isn't me, it's all over. 443 00:23:38,290 --> 00:23:39,960 Come on. We're late for brunch. 444 00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:42,160 I haven't showered. Do I smell like sex? 445 00:23:42,160 --> 00:23:44,270 Everything here smells like sex. 446 00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:49,640 We should get married. 447 00:23:49,640 --> 00:23:51,370 What? 448 00:23:51,370 --> 00:23:54,980 They're doing those legal weddings for one hour tomorrow. 449 00:23:54,980 --> 00:23:56,650 The more gay couples who marry, 450 00:23:56,650 --> 00:23:58,580 the bigger the impact on society. 451 00:23:58,580 --> 00:24:01,650 We should get married to make a political statement. 452 00:24:01,650 --> 00:24:03,950 Yesterday you wanted to have an orgy 453 00:24:03,950 --> 00:24:05,590 to make a political statement. 454 00:24:05,590 --> 00:24:06,920 Now you want to get married? 455 00:24:06,920 --> 00:24:08,460 What's wrong? 456 00:24:08,460 --> 00:24:10,230 You've been acting like Kristen Stewart all morning. 457 00:24:10,230 --> 00:24:11,790 I'm fine. 458 00:24:11,790 --> 00:24:15,030 No, I know that Zacky pout... 459 00:24:15,030 --> 00:24:16,600 You wanna know what's wrong? 460 00:24:16,600 --> 00:24:19,430 - I'm upset because-- - Hey, you guys. 461 00:24:19,430 --> 00:24:21,070 Here we are. 462 00:24:25,570 --> 00:24:28,040 Lilly, I was looking for you. 463 00:24:31,350 --> 00:24:33,210 It's Penny. 464 00:24:33,210 --> 00:24:34,850 Since we're the only two straight girls here, 465 00:24:34,850 --> 00:24:36,580 we should probably hang out. 466 00:24:36,580 --> 00:24:38,090 Okay, but stop smiling. 467 00:24:38,090 --> 00:24:40,690 You're giving me a headache. 468 00:24:40,690 --> 00:24:41,990 How'd you two meet? 469 00:24:41,990 --> 00:24:44,330 We go way back to high school. 470 00:24:44,330 --> 00:24:46,160 I thought you said you met yesterday. 471 00:24:46,160 --> 00:24:50,130 Well, we gay met yesterday. 472 00:24:50,130 --> 00:24:52,500 He never paid attention to me in high school, 473 00:24:52,500 --> 00:24:55,140 but this time... 474 00:24:55,140 --> 00:24:56,810 sparks. 475 00:24:59,610 --> 00:25:02,240 Sparks are what it's all about. Right, honey? 476 00:25:02,240 --> 00:25:03,780 Mm-hm. 477 00:25:03,780 --> 00:25:06,610 Sparks. 478 00:25:06,610 --> 00:25:09,320 Looks like they're having a really nice time. 479 00:25:09,320 --> 00:25:11,220 Are you kidding? 480 00:25:11,220 --> 00:25:14,460 Okay, check out your pigmentally challenged friend. 481 00:25:14,460 --> 00:25:15,890 He has his hands all over 482 00:25:15,890 --> 00:25:19,230 that Ryan Phillippe/ Kwanten/Reynolds guy, 483 00:25:19,230 --> 00:25:22,460 but his eyes are on Zack. 484 00:25:22,460 --> 00:25:25,470 So looks like you two can't get enough of each other. 485 00:25:25,470 --> 00:25:28,200 Oh, I know. I mean, look at us. 486 00:25:28,200 --> 00:25:29,810 We're practically making love. 487 00:25:29,810 --> 00:25:31,410 Nope. 488 00:25:31,410 --> 00:25:34,180 We can't keep our hands off of each other. 489 00:25:34,180 --> 00:25:37,880 Oh, my God, it's huge. 490 00:25:37,880 --> 00:25:39,910 Surprises me every time. 491 00:25:41,350 --> 00:25:43,280 Should you two be doing that in public? 492 00:25:43,280 --> 00:25:45,050 The sign doesn't say public resort. 493 00:25:45,050 --> 00:25:48,060 Maybe we shouldn't. 494 00:25:48,060 --> 00:25:49,760 Not without kissing anyway. 495 00:25:49,760 --> 00:25:51,490 Excellent idea. 496 00:26:01,170 --> 00:26:02,470 Nice. 497 00:26:07,980 --> 00:26:10,010 That gets me hot. 498 00:26:21,390 --> 00:26:23,390 I will never truly understand the gays. 499 00:26:23,390 --> 00:26:25,430 You don't even understand the Wheel of Fortune. 500 00:26:25,430 --> 00:26:27,330 Good afternoon, beautiful ladies. 501 00:26:27,330 --> 00:26:30,500 Hello, I-- we-- 502 00:26:30,500 --> 00:26:32,900 Hola, Luis. 503 00:26:32,900 --> 00:26:34,570 I met Luis earlier. 504 00:26:34,570 --> 00:26:35,670 So did I. 505 00:26:35,670 --> 00:26:37,470 Like eye contact met. 506 00:26:37,470 --> 00:26:38,970 Remember? 507 00:26:38,970 --> 00:26:40,740 Can I bring you something else to drink? 508 00:26:40,740 --> 00:26:43,110 Oh, I'm good. Oh. 509 00:26:43,110 --> 00:26:46,480 Oh, Allow me to clean you up. 510 00:26:50,490 --> 00:26:51,890 Oh, Jesus. 511 00:26:51,890 --> 00:26:54,620 That is not how a gay man touches boobs. 512 00:26:54,620 --> 00:26:57,360 - I knew you were straight. - You are correct. 513 00:26:57,360 --> 00:27:00,230 Why would a straight guy want to work here? 514 00:27:00,230 --> 00:27:02,060 There are many reasons to work here, 515 00:27:02,060 --> 00:27:05,500 many beautiful reasons. 516 00:27:05,500 --> 00:27:07,470 I am going to bring you another drink. 517 00:27:12,110 --> 00:27:14,840 That is who I'm giving my virginity to. 518 00:27:14,840 --> 00:27:15,980 Back off. 519 00:27:15,980 --> 00:27:17,110 We flirted yesterday. 520 00:27:17,110 --> 00:27:18,280 We've established something. 521 00:27:18,280 --> 00:27:20,310 But he touched my breast. 522 00:27:20,310 --> 00:27:22,820 Normally I would never fight with another woman 523 00:27:22,820 --> 00:27:24,750 over a man, but fuck it. 524 00:27:24,750 --> 00:27:26,350 I'm bored. 525 00:27:26,350 --> 00:27:27,590 It's on. 526 00:27:37,730 --> 00:27:39,170 Ew. 527 00:27:41,370 --> 00:27:42,970 We should do brunch with them again. 528 00:27:42,970 --> 00:27:45,640 Are you kidding? That was awful. 529 00:27:45,640 --> 00:27:47,610 Huh? 530 00:27:47,610 --> 00:27:49,010 We spent the entire time 531 00:27:49,010 --> 00:27:50,280 pretending to be something we're not-- 532 00:27:50,280 --> 00:27:51,650 Happily monogamous. 533 00:27:51,650 --> 00:27:54,050 Don't try to make me the bad guy here. 534 00:27:54,050 --> 00:27:55,820 You agreed to be open this weekend. 535 00:27:55,820 --> 00:27:57,390 You could've said no. 536 00:28:01,720 --> 00:28:03,990 What possessed me to break up with Zack 537 00:28:03,990 --> 00:28:06,260 and then try to be friends with him? 538 00:28:06,260 --> 00:28:08,230 I mean, you'd think I would've learned 539 00:28:08,230 --> 00:28:10,530 from every relationship Jennifer Aniston's ever had. 540 00:28:10,530 --> 00:28:14,170 You broke up with him because you loved him, 541 00:28:14,170 --> 00:28:15,700 and you want be friends with him 542 00:28:15,700 --> 00:28:17,140 because you still love him. 543 00:28:17,140 --> 00:28:19,570 Unfortunately, he loves Benji. 544 00:28:19,570 --> 00:28:20,710 Don't remind me. 545 00:28:20,710 --> 00:28:23,080 Did you see them all over each other today, 546 00:28:23,080 --> 00:28:26,210 like horny little monkeys? 547 00:28:26,210 --> 00:28:28,580 There was a lot of horny at that table. 548 00:28:28,580 --> 00:28:31,150 It doesn't count if you're faking it, 549 00:28:31,150 --> 00:28:33,920 which, I was, 550 00:28:33,920 --> 00:28:35,620 except for the erection part. 551 00:28:37,890 --> 00:28:39,430 Casey and Peter 552 00:28:39,430 --> 00:28:41,760 don't need to an open relationship to be happy. 553 00:28:41,760 --> 00:28:44,400 They've been together for, like, five minutes, 554 00:28:44,400 --> 00:28:46,330 and I can tell Peter's already getting bored. 555 00:28:46,330 --> 00:28:48,270 Is that how long it took you to get bored with me? 556 00:28:50,340 --> 00:28:52,440 Come on. 557 00:28:52,440 --> 00:28:54,110 We're in the middle of nowhere 558 00:28:54,110 --> 00:28:56,880 with hot guys we'll never see again. 559 00:28:56,880 --> 00:28:58,480 We can misbehave a little. 560 00:28:58,480 --> 00:29:00,980 Then back to normal at home. 561 00:29:00,980 --> 00:29:03,050 Yeah, but which is the normal you? 562 00:29:03,050 --> 00:29:04,590 This one or the one back home? 563 00:29:08,120 --> 00:29:10,590 Peter is boning everything in sight. 564 00:29:10,590 --> 00:29:13,790 I'm gonna get busted, and you know what? 565 00:29:13,790 --> 00:29:15,830 I'll deserve it. 566 00:29:15,830 --> 00:29:18,030 You know what always helps me 567 00:29:18,030 --> 00:29:20,270 when I get into this exact situation? 568 00:29:21,640 --> 00:29:23,710 An ego boost. 569 00:29:23,710 --> 00:29:25,140 Oh, my God, 570 00:29:25,140 --> 00:29:26,810 you look amazing. 571 00:29:35,650 --> 00:29:37,750 So do you. 572 00:29:37,750 --> 00:29:39,190 Come on, now. 573 00:29:39,190 --> 00:29:41,260 You made Zack fall in love with you once. 574 00:29:41,260 --> 00:29:43,990 It's not like you're Marmaduke. 575 00:29:43,990 --> 00:29:45,830 Look at this face... 576 00:29:45,830 --> 00:29:48,660 Madonna would pay good money for cheekbones like those. 577 00:29:48,660 --> 00:29:50,230 Especially for her face. 578 00:29:50,230 --> 00:29:53,200 And you're funny and smart 579 00:29:53,200 --> 00:29:56,600 and all the things some wonderful, sexy stud 580 00:29:56,600 --> 00:30:00,880 is gonna see in you as soon as you start seeing it yourself. 581 00:30:00,880 --> 00:30:03,210 Well, thank you, Mother. 582 00:30:03,210 --> 00:30:05,050 Momma needs you to do something for her. 583 00:30:05,050 --> 00:30:07,080 - What? - Wait for me at the bar. 584 00:30:07,080 --> 00:30:10,850 You have to protect me from Lilly while I move in on the guy she wants. 585 00:30:10,850 --> 00:30:13,220 Are you serious? 586 00:30:13,220 --> 00:30:15,820 It's your turn to be my hag. 587 00:30:26,870 --> 00:30:28,200 These are perfection. 588 00:30:28,200 --> 00:30:31,010 I shall call it "The Lilly." 589 00:30:31,010 --> 00:30:34,510 Oh, my. 590 00:30:34,510 --> 00:30:38,310 So how many lonely fag hags have you picked up here? 591 00:30:38,310 --> 00:30:40,180 Not as much as you might think. 592 00:30:40,180 --> 00:30:41,620 Don't give me that. 593 00:30:41,620 --> 00:30:43,680 Tons of women get dragged here by gay friends 594 00:30:43,680 --> 00:30:46,760 who dump them for poppers and handjobs. 595 00:30:46,760 --> 00:30:47,890 Um, I'm right here. 596 00:30:47,890 --> 00:30:49,690 Yeah, but your brain isn't. 597 00:30:49,690 --> 00:30:52,730 It's in Benji's pants or Casey's ass 598 00:30:52,730 --> 00:30:53,800 or some shit like that. 599 00:30:53,800 --> 00:30:55,730 It's not like that. 600 00:30:55,730 --> 00:30:56,970 I just don't want Casey to find out 601 00:30:56,970 --> 00:30:58,570 about our open weekend thing. 602 00:30:58,570 --> 00:31:00,370 What would happen if Casey found out? 603 00:31:00,370 --> 00:31:02,000 He'd say something like, 604 00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:04,010 "You're better than being in a relationship 605 00:31:04,010 --> 00:31:05,410 that isn't working for you." 606 00:31:05,410 --> 00:31:07,540 You make Casey sound pretty smart. 607 00:31:07,540 --> 00:31:09,950 But compromise is what being in a relationship's all about, right? 608 00:31:09,950 --> 00:31:12,710 I should give it a try before throwing the whole thing away. 609 00:31:12,710 --> 00:31:16,280 Well, here's your chance to test your theory. 610 00:31:17,890 --> 00:31:19,020 How's it going? 611 00:31:19,020 --> 00:31:20,460 Okay. 612 00:31:21,520 --> 00:31:22,920 You're great at this. 613 00:31:22,920 --> 00:31:25,130 I'm Jaden. 614 00:31:25,130 --> 00:31:26,860 You having fun this weekend? 615 00:31:26,860 --> 00:31:31,500 Yeah, I'm liking the peace and quiet. 616 00:31:31,500 --> 00:31:32,870 Okay. 617 00:31:35,770 --> 00:31:38,440 Actually, that came out all wrong. 618 00:31:38,440 --> 00:31:39,810 What I mean to say is 619 00:31:39,810 --> 00:31:41,410 I'm having a great weekend... 620 00:31:42,840 --> 00:31:44,310 now. 621 00:31:44,310 --> 00:31:45,710 Oh, yeah? 622 00:31:45,710 --> 00:31:48,120 Yeah. 623 00:31:48,120 --> 00:31:50,550 That's so hot. 624 00:31:50,550 --> 00:31:53,190 You tried the Jacuzzi yet? 625 00:31:53,190 --> 00:31:54,460 Yeah. 626 00:31:54,460 --> 00:31:57,730 But I could always go again. 627 00:31:57,730 --> 00:32:00,260 I want to wrap my legs around your face 628 00:32:00,260 --> 00:32:03,670 like a pair of Bono sunglasses. 629 00:32:03,670 --> 00:32:04,870 And then what? 630 00:32:08,600 --> 00:32:09,940 Shit. 631 00:32:09,940 --> 00:32:11,670 Okay. 632 00:32:11,670 --> 00:32:12,940 I gotta go. 633 00:32:19,310 --> 00:32:20,820 Hey, Peter, 634 00:32:20,820 --> 00:32:23,250 just saw your boyfriend heading into the bar. 635 00:32:27,690 --> 00:32:29,890 I don't mess with guys in relationships. 636 00:32:29,890 --> 00:32:31,960 It's too much drama. 637 00:32:31,960 --> 00:32:33,560 Okay. 638 00:32:33,560 --> 00:32:36,060 Wouldn't want to compromise your morals. 639 00:32:36,060 --> 00:32:37,830 See? Drama. 640 00:32:39,330 --> 00:32:40,770 Fuck. 641 00:32:51,110 --> 00:32:52,710 Holy shit. 642 00:33:10,100 --> 00:33:14,440 He's cheating on Zack. 643 00:33:14,440 --> 00:33:16,500 Hey Zackattack, I brought you a present. 644 00:33:16,500 --> 00:33:18,070 What is he doing here? 645 00:33:18,070 --> 00:33:20,710 Your boyfriend wanted to watch us do it. 646 00:33:23,780 --> 00:33:27,080 - Consider him a peace offering. - I don't know. 647 00:33:27,080 --> 00:33:28,950 - Is he too fat? - Am I what? 648 00:33:28,950 --> 00:33:31,790 No, he's perfect, but... 649 00:33:31,790 --> 00:33:33,920 Come on. 650 00:33:33,920 --> 00:33:36,390 Your boyfriend's really into this. 651 00:33:36,390 --> 00:33:38,530 Plus, l bet you taste delicious. 652 00:33:51,040 --> 00:33:52,910 Damn, guys, that's hot. 653 00:33:52,910 --> 00:33:54,640 Oh, yeah, so hot... 654 00:33:57,380 --> 00:33:58,780 Are you okay? 655 00:33:58,780 --> 00:34:00,150 You're kinda limp down there. 656 00:34:00,150 --> 00:34:02,380 Just pretend. 657 00:34:02,380 --> 00:34:03,880 Suck it. 658 00:34:03,880 --> 00:34:05,820 Suck it with that pretty mouth. 659 00:34:08,290 --> 00:34:10,020 Oh, yeah. 660 00:34:10,020 --> 00:34:12,290 Yeah, do his face. 661 00:34:14,900 --> 00:34:16,230 Oh, yeah. 662 00:34:16,230 --> 00:34:17,330 Oh, my God, I'm close. 663 00:34:17,330 --> 00:34:19,000 Me, too. 664 00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:20,430 Oh, so close. 665 00:34:20,430 --> 00:34:23,100 Oh, Fu... 666 00:34:23,100 --> 00:34:24,410 I'm gonna come. 667 00:34:24,410 --> 00:34:26,070 Oh, fuck. 668 00:34:32,250 --> 00:34:33,820 Oh, yeah. 669 00:34:40,560 --> 00:34:42,560 That was just... 670 00:34:42,560 --> 00:34:44,390 all kinds of wrong. 671 00:34:52,700 --> 00:34:56,070 Now I'll try to find someone for you to watch me with. 672 00:35:06,450 --> 00:35:07,880 One Lilly. 673 00:35:18,190 --> 00:35:20,060 Shit. 674 00:35:23,800 --> 00:35:26,100 I can not let him see her looking like that. 675 00:35:30,270 --> 00:35:32,440 Penny, wait. 676 00:35:32,440 --> 00:35:33,910 Penny. 677 00:35:35,510 --> 00:35:37,810 Ay, dios mio. 678 00:35:50,260 --> 00:35:51,990 Are you okay? 679 00:35:51,990 --> 00:35:53,830 I think so. 680 00:35:53,830 --> 00:35:57,360 Did you by any chance see me before I fell in? 681 00:35:57,360 --> 00:35:59,130 I am afraid I did not, no. 682 00:35:59,130 --> 00:36:00,870 Shart. 683 00:36:00,870 --> 00:36:02,970 But I am sure you looked beautiful. 684 00:36:07,110 --> 00:36:08,840 I'm so sorry, Penny. 685 00:36:08,840 --> 00:36:11,610 - I didn't mean to. - I bet you didn't. 686 00:36:11,610 --> 00:36:14,450 These are yours-- Room number 4. 687 00:36:14,450 --> 00:36:15,920 And... 688 00:36:17,450 --> 00:36:19,020 Hormone pills? 689 00:36:21,290 --> 00:36:22,690 These are your pills? 690 00:36:26,330 --> 00:36:27,860 Yes, they're mine. 691 00:36:27,860 --> 00:36:29,830 So what? I get cramps. 692 00:36:40,510 --> 00:36:43,110 Hey, lover. 693 00:36:43,110 --> 00:36:46,850 Hi. 694 00:36:46,850 --> 00:36:48,480 You know you cock-blocked me 695 00:36:48,480 --> 00:36:51,490 and you weren't even in the room. 696 00:36:51,490 --> 00:36:54,090 Sorry about that. 697 00:36:54,090 --> 00:36:57,130 Eh, it don't stay blocked for long. 698 00:36:57,130 --> 00:36:59,860 Pesky thing. 699 00:36:59,860 --> 00:37:03,200 Hey, thanks for being my pretend boyfriend. 700 00:37:03,200 --> 00:37:04,870 I have to say this is 701 00:37:04,870 --> 00:37:10,810 one of the most perverted things I've ever done. 702 00:37:10,810 --> 00:37:14,510 Did you really have a crush on me in high school? 703 00:37:14,510 --> 00:37:19,110 Absolutely. You were so adorable. 704 00:37:19,110 --> 00:37:22,720 Still are. 705 00:37:22,720 --> 00:37:26,550 So, why don't you have a boyfriend? 706 00:37:26,550 --> 00:37:30,590 Maybe you haven't noticed, but I'm kind of a slut. 707 00:37:30,590 --> 00:37:32,590 I've noticed. 708 00:37:32,590 --> 00:37:36,730 I'm just not the boyfriend type. 709 00:37:36,730 --> 00:37:39,030 I'm definitely the boyfriend type. 710 00:37:39,030 --> 00:37:41,800 That's part of what makes you so hot. 711 00:37:41,800 --> 00:37:45,410 And why I haven't tried to go to naked town with you. 712 00:37:45,410 --> 00:37:47,280 I respect you. 713 00:37:49,740 --> 00:37:53,180 That's really sweet, but... 714 00:37:54,680 --> 00:37:59,650 I'd love to be disrespected right now. 715 00:38:03,520 --> 00:38:04,890 ♪ Will we ever ♪ 716 00:38:04,890 --> 00:38:07,800 ♪ Will we ever get there? 717 00:38:07,800 --> 00:38:10,630 ♪ Waiting on the horizon ♪ 718 00:38:10,630 --> 00:38:14,440 ♪ For ships to come ♪ 719 00:38:14,440 --> 00:38:20,040 ♪ There is something to believe in again ♪ 720 00:38:20,040 --> 00:38:24,480 ♪ Something's passing through me ♪ 721 00:38:24,480 --> 00:38:27,250 ♪ Like electricity ♪ 722 00:38:27,250 --> 00:38:31,750 ♪ Constantly waiting till I see you again ♪ 723 00:38:44,530 --> 00:38:47,070 ♪ Running wild ♪ 724 00:38:55,280 --> 00:38:56,810 I'm so sorry, Penny. 725 00:39:00,280 --> 00:39:03,380 What were you thinking? 726 00:39:03,380 --> 00:39:05,250 Honestly? 727 00:39:05,250 --> 00:39:07,190 I didn't mean to knock you in the pool. 728 00:39:07,190 --> 00:39:12,960 I just didn't want Luis to see you looking that good. 729 00:39:12,960 --> 00:39:14,560 So you did do it on purpose. 730 00:39:14,560 --> 00:39:16,760 No, I just said I didn't. 731 00:39:16,760 --> 00:39:19,330 You said you didn't want him to see me looking that gorgeous. 732 00:39:19,330 --> 00:39:21,040 I didn't say gorgeous. 733 00:39:21,040 --> 00:39:23,840 I can't believe I covered for your stupid hormone pills. 734 00:39:23,840 --> 00:39:27,140 That was really sweet of you. 735 00:39:27,140 --> 00:39:28,680 Mind if I have them back now? 736 00:39:28,680 --> 00:39:31,180 Like I told Luis, 737 00:39:31,180 --> 00:39:32,710 they're mine. 738 00:39:39,350 --> 00:39:41,520 You know he named that drink after me? 739 00:39:41,520 --> 00:39:43,060 It's called the Penny. 740 00:39:43,060 --> 00:39:46,830 ♪ Will we ever, will we ever get there? ♪ 741 00:39:46,830 --> 00:39:50,430 ♪ Waiting on the horizon ♪ 742 00:39:50,430 --> 00:39:52,000 I should tell Zack what I saw, 743 00:39:52,000 --> 00:39:54,500 but he will totally hate me. 744 00:39:54,500 --> 00:39:57,000 I'd wanna know if my boyfriend was cheating on me. 745 00:39:57,000 --> 00:39:58,740 Maybe they have an open relationship. 746 00:39:58,740 --> 00:40:02,640 - Really? Zack? - I know. 747 00:40:02,640 --> 00:40:05,010 So are you and Peter a thing now? 748 00:40:05,010 --> 00:40:09,620 No, it was just like, friend sex, 749 00:40:09,620 --> 00:40:12,390 really amazing friend sex. 750 00:40:13,750 --> 00:40:16,390 - We're friends. - Ew. 751 00:40:16,390 --> 00:40:20,360 Please, like I'd waste my cherry on your little pink baby corn. 752 00:40:20,360 --> 00:40:23,200 What happened with the bartender? 753 00:40:23,200 --> 00:40:25,670 Hello. Have you seen the bandage on my head? 754 00:40:25,670 --> 00:40:28,400 Obviously there's a terrible story behind it. 755 00:40:28,400 --> 00:40:29,970 I wasn't sure that was a bandage. 756 00:40:29,970 --> 00:40:32,410 I mean sometimes you dress kinda weird. 757 00:40:37,410 --> 00:40:40,650 Damn, don't bruise me before the underwear party. 758 00:40:40,650 --> 00:40:42,650 They're all underwear parties. 759 00:40:42,650 --> 00:40:45,890 Apparently, you can't have a wedding without three nights of orgies. 760 00:40:45,890 --> 00:40:49,190 First comes love, then comes marriage. 761 00:40:49,190 --> 00:40:51,890 But they never warn you about the three ways in between. 762 00:40:51,890 --> 00:40:54,300 I don't wanna lose Benji over this. 763 00:40:54,300 --> 00:40:56,400 - I normally love three-ways. - Who doesn't? 764 00:40:56,400 --> 00:40:58,930 I just don't want one in my relationship. 765 00:40:58,930 --> 00:41:00,500 Okay, that doesn't make any sense. 766 00:41:00,500 --> 00:41:02,370 If you fantasize about it, 767 00:41:02,370 --> 00:41:04,710 why not share that with your boyfriend? 768 00:41:04,710 --> 00:41:06,570 I guess I'm over-thinking it. 769 00:41:06,570 --> 00:41:09,340 I mean, last night should have been totally hot. 770 00:41:09,340 --> 00:41:11,850 Just give yourself over. 771 00:41:11,850 --> 00:41:16,320 Over to what, studmuffin? 772 00:41:16,320 --> 00:41:18,650 Absolute pleasure. 773 00:41:18,650 --> 00:41:23,590 Last night was just an appetizer. 774 00:41:23,590 --> 00:41:25,130 Tonight... 775 00:41:28,830 --> 00:41:32,370 we're having a real three-way. 776 00:41:32,370 --> 00:41:33,800 I lurve you. 777 00:41:33,800 --> 00:41:35,140 I lurve you, too. 778 00:41:52,590 --> 00:41:54,190 It's underwear night. 779 00:41:54,190 --> 00:41:55,490 Why aren't you in your panties? 780 00:41:55,490 --> 00:41:57,260 I miss wearing clothes. 781 00:41:57,260 --> 00:42:00,090 Well, I have plans for tonight, 782 00:42:00,090 --> 00:42:03,160 so the room is free for whatever you need to do, 783 00:42:03,160 --> 00:42:06,670 say bring a certain someone back to it and get it on? 784 00:42:06,670 --> 00:42:07,970 Don't bother. 785 00:42:07,970 --> 00:42:09,770 I don't plan on using it. 786 00:42:09,770 --> 00:42:12,010 Then the room will sit there empty. 787 00:42:12,010 --> 00:42:13,270 Fine by me. 788 00:42:13,270 --> 00:42:14,910 Come on, Casey. 789 00:42:14,910 --> 00:42:16,510 This is your life. 790 00:42:16,510 --> 00:42:18,050 Get out there and live it. 791 00:42:18,050 --> 00:42:21,450 You make everything sound like a Tweet from Oprah. 792 00:42:23,920 --> 00:42:26,850 I forgot how much I love ordering in. 793 00:42:26,850 --> 00:42:28,220 Oh, what about this guy? 794 00:42:28,220 --> 00:42:30,560 Versatile top loves group play. 795 00:42:30,560 --> 00:42:34,530 Ooh, 5'1"? Sixty-nining short guys cramps my neck. 796 00:42:34,530 --> 00:42:36,100 We don't have to do this if you don't-- 797 00:42:36,100 --> 00:42:38,070 Whoa, what about him? 798 00:42:38,070 --> 00:42:40,630 Hmm, not my type. 799 00:42:40,630 --> 00:42:42,000 How 'bout that guy? 800 00:42:42,000 --> 00:42:43,340 No, thanks. 801 00:42:43,340 --> 00:42:45,240 He looks 12. He looks a hundred. 802 00:42:45,240 --> 00:42:48,180 He looks like Rachel Maddow. 803 00:42:48,180 --> 00:42:50,410 Whoa. 804 00:42:50,410 --> 00:42:51,580 Super hot. 805 00:42:51,580 --> 00:42:54,210 It says he's only looking for friendship. 806 00:42:54,210 --> 00:42:56,150 Let's see if he wants to be our friend. 807 00:43:10,600 --> 00:43:12,500 If I were a stupid, heartless bitch, 808 00:43:12,500 --> 00:43:14,600 where would I hide someone's meds? 809 00:43:26,380 --> 00:43:27,550 Casey. 810 00:43:34,290 --> 00:43:35,420 Figures. 811 00:43:36,690 --> 00:43:38,090 Where are they? 812 00:43:41,930 --> 00:43:44,630 Ugh. Harry Potter vibrator? 813 00:43:46,500 --> 00:43:50,300 ♪ I'm on a man hunt, man hunt ♪ 814 00:43:50,300 --> 00:43:52,410 ♪ I'm not looking for the one ♪ 815 00:43:52,410 --> 00:43:54,980 ♪ I'm on a man hunt, man hunt ♪ 816 00:43:54,980 --> 00:43:58,450 I didn't think finding a three-way would be so complicated. 817 00:43:58,450 --> 00:44:00,510 Well, when you're matching three checklists 818 00:44:00,510 --> 00:44:03,150 against each other, it gets pretty elaborate. 819 00:44:03,150 --> 00:44:05,390 It's a good thing I studied calculus. 820 00:44:13,090 --> 00:44:17,100 Hey, let's split up and meet back up in 30. 821 00:44:17,100 --> 00:44:18,670 See what we can rustle up on our own? 822 00:44:19,930 --> 00:44:21,570 Okay. 823 00:44:23,500 --> 00:44:26,270 ♪ Then I wonder if sometimes ♪ 824 00:44:26,270 --> 00:44:29,080 ♪ I just want to be alone ♪ 825 00:44:29,080 --> 00:44:31,280 ♪ I'm on a man hunt, man hunt ♪ 826 00:44:31,280 --> 00:44:35,180 ♪ I just want a night of fun ♪ 827 00:44:35,180 --> 00:44:38,650 ♪ I'm on a man hunt, man hunt... ♪ 828 00:44:38,650 --> 00:44:41,060 ♪ I'm not looking for the one... ♪ 829 00:44:46,290 --> 00:44:49,330 Look, I'm just gonna be straight-up honest 830 00:44:49,330 --> 00:44:52,700 because, what the hell, I'm never gonna see you again. 831 00:44:52,700 --> 00:44:56,400 I sensed some kind of flirtation going on between us, 832 00:44:56,400 --> 00:44:59,640 and, well, I'm a virgin, 833 00:44:59,640 --> 00:45:01,210 and I really don't want to be anymore, 834 00:45:01,210 --> 00:45:02,810 so if you're not busy, 835 00:45:02,810 --> 00:45:04,580 can we fuck? 836 00:45:04,580 --> 00:45:06,580 With condoms? 837 00:45:06,580 --> 00:45:07,950 Your honesty is, 838 00:45:07,950 --> 00:45:09,720 uh, sexy, 839 00:45:09,720 --> 00:45:11,890 but can I be honest as well? 840 00:45:11,890 --> 00:45:13,020 You're gay. 841 00:45:13,020 --> 00:45:14,050 No. 842 00:45:14,050 --> 00:45:16,020 I just. 843 00:45:16,020 --> 00:45:17,860 I know what those pills were. 844 00:45:17,860 --> 00:45:21,260 I like women, real women. 845 00:45:21,260 --> 00:45:22,960 But those were... 846 00:45:24,130 --> 00:45:25,570 If you honestly think 847 00:45:25,570 --> 00:45:28,670 that those pills make me any less of a woman, 848 00:45:28,670 --> 00:45:32,070 then you're not nearly enough man for me. 849 00:45:32,070 --> 00:45:33,640 Wait, I-- You-- 850 00:45:35,610 --> 00:45:37,680 Pedomierda. 851 00:45:40,080 --> 00:45:42,620 Hey, Peter. 852 00:45:42,620 --> 00:45:45,650 Yeah, the bar is three blocks down 853 00:45:45,650 --> 00:45:47,120 and two blocks west. 854 00:45:47,120 --> 00:45:52,790 - See ya. - Yeah I'm a person, too, you know. 855 00:45:52,790 --> 00:45:54,660 Who was that? 856 00:45:54,660 --> 00:45:56,160 Who was who? 857 00:45:56,160 --> 00:45:58,070 That guy you were just hitting on. 858 00:46:01,100 --> 00:46:02,670 Ugh, I don't even wanna know. 859 00:46:04,070 --> 00:46:05,510 Damn it. 860 00:46:13,110 --> 00:46:15,250 Face it, Penny, you'll die a virgin. 861 00:46:29,030 --> 00:46:32,670 Time for some Quidditch. 862 00:46:35,900 --> 00:46:37,470 Ooh! 863 00:46:43,980 --> 00:46:45,810 Where's your boyfriend? 864 00:46:45,810 --> 00:46:47,210 Um... 865 00:46:48,820 --> 00:46:50,880 where is yours? 866 00:46:50,880 --> 00:46:53,750 Oh, um, he's picking out... 867 00:46:53,750 --> 00:46:55,620 underwear. 868 00:46:55,620 --> 00:46:57,890 Oh. 869 00:46:57,890 --> 00:46:59,290 Hey, um. 870 00:46:59,290 --> 00:47:01,860 Can we go somewhere and talk? 871 00:47:01,860 --> 00:47:02,860 Yeah, sure. 872 00:47:02,860 --> 00:47:06,300 Okay, um, how about my room? 873 00:47:08,400 --> 00:47:10,900 I wasn't hitting on that guy. 874 00:47:10,900 --> 00:47:12,170 Come on. 875 00:47:12,170 --> 00:47:13,310 It was more obvious than the dent 876 00:47:13,310 --> 00:47:16,510 in Anderson Cooper's forehead. 877 00:47:16,510 --> 00:47:20,350 Something's weird about your relationship with Casey. 878 00:47:20,350 --> 00:47:22,120 Excuse me, Chelsea Lately, 879 00:47:22,120 --> 00:47:25,720 but you and Zack seem to be having problems of your own. 880 00:47:25,720 --> 00:47:27,120 Why do you say that? 881 00:47:27,120 --> 00:47:31,430 Well, for one, look at us. 882 00:47:31,430 --> 00:47:33,360 Oh. 883 00:47:35,400 --> 00:47:39,930 Go for the golden snitch. 884 00:47:39,930 --> 00:47:41,300 Oh. 885 00:47:44,040 --> 00:47:45,410 Oh. 886 00:47:48,780 --> 00:47:50,580 Shart, shart, shart. 887 00:47:50,580 --> 00:47:53,750 I might get to see some gay sex. 888 00:48:04,060 --> 00:48:05,530 Um, what's that? 889 00:48:07,760 --> 00:48:09,400 Penny. 890 00:48:13,630 --> 00:48:16,340 Ugh. It smells like lima beans. 891 00:48:21,240 --> 00:48:26,750 So there's nothing unusual happening with you and Casey? 892 00:48:26,750 --> 00:48:29,580 And there's nothing unusual with you and Zack? 893 00:48:29,580 --> 00:48:31,750 You first. 894 00:48:31,750 --> 00:48:34,420 Let's go get Zack, then find Casey, 895 00:48:34,420 --> 00:48:36,820 then figure out what's going on. 896 00:48:36,820 --> 00:48:38,160 Fine. 897 00:48:38,160 --> 00:48:39,860 But real quick. 898 00:48:44,160 --> 00:48:45,670 Much better. 899 00:48:45,670 --> 00:48:48,140 Yup. 900 00:48:48,140 --> 00:48:53,410 So I have to tell you something. 901 00:48:53,410 --> 00:48:55,610 I saw something last night. 902 00:48:55,610 --> 00:48:57,340 So did I. 903 00:48:57,340 --> 00:48:58,910 Why do you think we didn't work out? 904 00:48:58,910 --> 00:49:01,780 I-- I don't know. 905 00:49:01,780 --> 00:49:03,050 Um... 906 00:49:03,050 --> 00:49:05,720 gay guys can't have long term relationships? 907 00:49:05,720 --> 00:49:07,990 You know that's not true. 908 00:49:07,990 --> 00:49:11,730 I guess maybe because we never tried to spice things up? 909 00:49:11,730 --> 00:49:13,590 What? You wanted an open relationship? 910 00:49:13,590 --> 00:49:14,860 No. 911 00:49:14,860 --> 00:49:17,160 I know we're gay, 912 00:49:17,160 --> 00:49:19,400 and we're supposed to be able to make up whatever kind of family we want, 913 00:49:19,400 --> 00:49:22,800 but for me my family-- 914 00:49:22,800 --> 00:49:25,770 It's just gonna be one special person standing beside me... 915 00:49:27,610 --> 00:49:30,410 someone to grow old with, 916 00:49:30,410 --> 00:49:32,750 even during the boring times. 917 00:49:34,250 --> 00:49:36,320 I miss the boring times. 918 00:49:40,650 --> 00:49:42,290 Shit, wrong room. 919 00:49:42,290 --> 00:49:43,690 Hello. 920 00:49:43,690 --> 00:49:45,020 What's going on, guys? 921 00:49:45,020 --> 00:49:46,690 Nothing. 922 00:49:46,690 --> 00:49:49,830 I don't know. It looks awfully horny in here. 923 00:49:49,830 --> 00:49:52,230 Well, what are you two doing together? 924 00:49:52,230 --> 00:49:54,670 Looking for you guys. 925 00:49:54,670 --> 00:49:56,140 What were you talking about? 926 00:49:56,140 --> 00:49:59,270 How to keep the spark alive. 927 00:49:59,270 --> 00:50:00,370 Yeah? 928 00:50:00,370 --> 00:50:02,010 How do you guys do that? 929 00:50:03,610 --> 00:50:05,780 Benji was doubting our sparks. 930 00:50:09,580 --> 00:50:14,120 Well, we've got sparks, right, Zack? 931 00:50:14,120 --> 00:50:17,490 I can feel some sparks right about now, in fact. 932 00:50:17,490 --> 00:50:22,560 Um, we should get ready for the party. 933 00:50:22,560 --> 00:50:24,400 I'll go first. 934 00:50:26,530 --> 00:50:29,700 Well, I don't need to change in the bathroom 935 00:50:29,700 --> 00:50:32,410 if you guys don't mind. 936 00:50:32,410 --> 00:50:33,770 Yeah, go ahead. 937 00:50:36,080 --> 00:50:38,410 - Damn. - Damn. 938 00:50:38,410 --> 00:50:39,880 Damn. 939 00:50:39,880 --> 00:50:42,350 My underwear are back in my room. 940 00:50:42,350 --> 00:50:43,750 Hey, honey, 941 00:50:43,750 --> 00:50:46,350 you got some underwear I can borrow? 942 00:50:46,350 --> 00:50:49,660 Yeah, check in my suitcase. 943 00:50:57,530 --> 00:51:01,000 You look great in those trunks, Zack. 944 00:51:01,000 --> 00:51:02,400 Maybe I can try them on? 945 00:51:03,400 --> 00:51:05,370 Y-You wanna try mine on? 946 00:51:05,370 --> 00:51:08,840 Please? 947 00:51:08,840 --> 00:51:10,610 He said please. 948 00:51:25,460 --> 00:51:26,830 How do they look? 949 00:51:26,830 --> 00:51:29,700 - They look good. - Real good. 950 00:51:29,700 --> 00:51:32,130 Except something's poking out of 'em. 951 00:51:32,130 --> 00:51:34,070 Oh, yeah. 952 00:51:34,070 --> 00:51:35,170 I see that. 953 00:51:35,170 --> 00:51:36,840 It'd be hard to miss. 954 00:51:36,840 --> 00:51:39,140 Um, hi. 955 00:51:39,140 --> 00:51:41,540 Come here, boyfriend. 956 00:51:41,540 --> 00:51:44,550 Zack and I were... 957 00:51:44,550 --> 00:51:46,410 Have never had break-up sex. 958 00:52:20,950 --> 00:52:22,580 Ow. 959 00:53:15,370 --> 00:53:17,040 That's hot. 960 00:53:27,210 --> 00:53:29,050 Is this what you wanted? 961 00:53:30,980 --> 00:53:32,690 Or this? 962 00:54:36,480 --> 00:54:38,520 What's that? 963 00:54:38,520 --> 00:54:40,550 Air conditioning? 964 00:54:40,550 --> 00:54:42,120 Works for me. 965 00:54:42,120 --> 00:54:43,690 Stay here. 966 00:54:54,330 --> 00:54:55,640 Where's the condoms? 967 00:54:55,640 --> 00:54:57,270 Over here. 968 00:55:06,550 --> 00:55:08,220 Shh. 969 00:55:12,520 --> 00:55:13,690 Get back up here, Casey. 970 00:55:13,690 --> 00:55:16,020 Oh. Yes, sir. 971 00:55:17,290 --> 00:55:19,360 So, who's doing who? 972 00:55:19,360 --> 00:55:21,330 Whom. 973 00:55:21,330 --> 00:55:23,360 Yeah, Zack. 974 00:55:23,360 --> 00:55:24,630 Who's doing who? 975 00:55:24,630 --> 00:55:26,270 Whom. 976 00:55:29,240 --> 00:55:30,640 Well... 977 00:55:31,840 --> 00:55:33,970 I think I wanna do... 978 00:55:35,680 --> 00:55:37,640 I've had it. 979 00:55:40,380 --> 00:55:42,650 What grabbed me. 980 00:55:42,650 --> 00:55:45,690 There's a monster under the bed! 981 00:55:50,190 --> 00:55:51,590 What the hell? 982 00:55:51,590 --> 00:55:54,860 - What's going on? - Hi. 983 00:55:54,860 --> 00:55:55,860 And what were you doing under there? 984 00:55:55,860 --> 00:55:57,600 I was just masturbating. 985 00:55:57,600 --> 00:55:59,500 I don't know what she was doing. 986 00:55:59,500 --> 00:56:02,200 I was looking for my medication this bitch stole. 987 00:56:02,200 --> 00:56:04,370 Then you guys came in and started playing Human Centipede. 988 00:56:04,370 --> 00:56:05,940 This is too messy for me. 989 00:56:05,940 --> 00:56:08,510 You're part of this mess. 990 00:56:08,510 --> 00:56:12,180 No, he's not. 991 00:56:12,180 --> 00:56:13,650 Zack... 992 00:56:13,650 --> 00:56:17,380 Peter and I aren't boyfriends. 993 00:56:17,380 --> 00:56:19,650 We never were. 994 00:56:19,650 --> 00:56:21,320 What? 995 00:56:21,320 --> 00:56:23,390 I didn't want you to feel sorry for me, 996 00:56:23,390 --> 00:56:25,390 that you had a boyfriend and I didn't, 997 00:56:25,390 --> 00:56:29,600 so I asked Peter to pretend that we were dating. 998 00:56:29,600 --> 00:56:30,860 I knew it. 999 00:56:30,860 --> 00:56:33,470 Well, not that, but I knew something. 1000 00:56:33,470 --> 00:56:36,400 - I'm sorry. - I should've known. 1001 00:56:36,400 --> 00:56:40,140 Everything you do involves a giant conspiracy. 1002 00:56:40,140 --> 00:56:41,440 You should've just have been honest with him. 1003 00:56:41,440 --> 00:56:44,940 That's priceless coming from you, Benji. 1004 00:56:44,940 --> 00:56:47,180 I saw him bring a guy back into your room last night. 1005 00:56:47,180 --> 00:56:48,920 That's what I wanted to talk to you about. 1006 00:56:48,920 --> 00:56:51,950 - I can bring back whoever I want. - Whomever. 1007 00:56:51,950 --> 00:56:54,860 'Cause Zack and I are in an open relationship. 1008 00:56:54,860 --> 00:56:58,460 An open...? 1009 00:56:58,460 --> 00:57:00,630 I-- I didn't know. 1010 00:57:00,630 --> 00:57:02,830 Benji wanted us to give it a try. 1011 00:57:02,830 --> 00:57:05,700 But why didn't...? 1012 00:57:05,700 --> 00:57:07,000 Wait a minute. 1013 00:57:07,000 --> 00:57:09,340 You're giving me a hard time for lying, 1014 00:57:09,340 --> 00:57:12,510 when you've been lying about your perfect relationship all along? 1015 00:57:12,510 --> 00:57:14,340 Fuck you. 1016 00:57:14,340 --> 00:57:17,740 Well, we're better than you and I ever were. 1017 00:57:17,740 --> 00:57:19,380 Benji, c'mon. 1018 00:57:27,090 --> 00:57:29,060 These are the gays of our lives. 1019 00:57:31,060 --> 00:57:33,730 I cannot believe him. When is he gonna grow up? 1020 00:57:33,730 --> 00:57:36,630 And you, what was that? 1021 00:57:36,630 --> 00:57:38,970 I'm sorry. 1022 00:57:38,970 --> 00:57:41,370 Maybe I can make it up to you? 1023 00:57:44,240 --> 00:57:47,570 Yeah, it's mostly political, 1024 00:57:47,570 --> 00:57:49,080 but I wanna make a statement... 1025 00:57:50,180 --> 00:57:52,050 with you. 1026 00:57:52,050 --> 00:57:55,180 We're not perfect, but what couple is? 1027 00:58:03,220 --> 00:58:04,730 Marry me. 1028 00:58:05,630 --> 00:58:06,790 Tomorrow... 1029 00:58:06,790 --> 00:58:08,900 while it's legal. 1030 00:58:11,530 --> 00:58:13,700 Marry me. 1031 00:58:13,700 --> 00:58:15,040 Are you serious? 1032 00:58:20,110 --> 00:58:24,540 Fine. 1033 00:58:24,540 --> 00:58:26,150 That's so romantic. 1034 00:58:28,210 --> 00:58:32,120 ♪ So what am I so afraid of ♪ 1035 00:58:32,120 --> 00:58:35,090 ♪ If it's just you? ♪ 1036 00:58:35,090 --> 00:58:37,490 ♪ But, baby, you're hot and cold ♪ 1037 00:58:37,490 --> 00:58:39,330 ♪ And maybe you'll never know ♪ 1038 00:58:39,330 --> 00:58:43,960 ♪ Just what you want me to ♪ 1039 00:58:43,960 --> 00:58:47,500 ♪ Everything I need you to say ♪ 1040 00:58:47,500 --> 00:58:51,400 ♪ Didn't talk 'cause I was so afraid ♪ 1041 00:58:51,400 --> 00:58:54,940 ♪ Everything I need you to hear ♪ 1042 00:58:54,940 --> 00:58:58,780 ♪ Didn't talk 'cause I'm my latest fear ♪ 1043 00:59:02,380 --> 00:59:03,880 Hey. 1044 00:59:05,220 --> 00:59:06,520 Hop in. 1045 00:59:06,520 --> 00:59:09,090 Everything's better after a Jacuzzi. 1046 00:59:21,100 --> 00:59:22,540 How're you feeling? 1047 00:59:24,370 --> 00:59:26,970 Like I just sat through the first three Twilight movies. 1048 00:59:26,970 --> 00:59:28,440 That bad, huh? 1049 00:59:30,440 --> 00:59:33,350 Hey, I'm sorry about getting you mixed up in all this. 1050 00:59:33,350 --> 00:59:35,320 It's okay. 1051 00:59:35,320 --> 00:59:38,020 This definitely makes my top-ten kinky list. 1052 00:59:40,250 --> 00:59:42,920 And it was fun hanging out with you. 1053 00:59:42,920 --> 00:59:45,160 And you know what? You are a great kisser. 1054 00:59:45,160 --> 00:59:48,260 And you are packin' the goods down there. 1055 00:59:48,260 --> 00:59:49,400 Thanks. 1056 00:59:52,930 --> 00:59:55,400 Zack's right, you know. 1057 00:59:55,400 --> 00:59:59,140 Every time I want to get close to him, I just lie. 1058 00:59:59,140 --> 01:00:00,740 What is wrong with me? 1059 01:00:00,740 --> 01:00:04,010 Deep-seated insecurity. 1060 01:00:04,010 --> 01:00:06,880 Well how can I not have that when I don't look like you? 1061 01:00:06,880 --> 01:00:11,280 Oh stop using the you're-better-looking-than-me as a crutch, Casey. 1062 01:00:11,280 --> 01:00:13,050 We've all got shit we're insecure about. 1063 01:00:13,050 --> 01:00:16,120 And what are you insecure about? 1064 01:00:16,120 --> 01:00:17,790 - Hmm... - See? 1065 01:00:17,790 --> 01:00:21,130 I'm playin'. Of course I'm insecure. 1066 01:00:21,130 --> 01:00:23,630 I'm insecure that I spend so much time 1067 01:00:23,630 --> 01:00:25,100 trying to get laid 1068 01:00:25,100 --> 01:00:28,200 that I'll pass up on a good opportunity 1069 01:00:28,200 --> 01:00:30,970 when something meaningful comes my way. 1070 01:00:30,970 --> 01:00:36,040 I'm insecure that I can't commit to a relationship ever. 1071 01:00:36,040 --> 01:00:37,440 And when I finally do, 1072 01:00:37,440 --> 01:00:40,880 once the sex with me gets boring, 1073 01:00:40,880 --> 01:00:43,480 I won't have enough to offer. 1074 01:00:43,480 --> 01:00:46,520 And I'm insecure that my arms aren't big enough. 1075 01:00:46,520 --> 01:00:47,550 My legs are too skinny. 1076 01:00:47,550 --> 01:00:51,160 - My hair is thin-- - Okay, shut up. 1077 01:00:51,160 --> 01:00:53,230 When we get back to the city, we should hang out, 1078 01:00:53,230 --> 01:00:55,760 I want to go to bars, meet some guys 1079 01:00:55,760 --> 01:01:01,230 now that I'm finally accepting that Zack and I are over. 1080 01:01:01,230 --> 01:01:02,940 Yeah, I heard about their wedding. 1081 01:01:02,940 --> 01:01:04,540 What? 1082 01:01:15,720 --> 01:01:17,350 You feel any better yet? 1083 01:01:17,350 --> 01:01:19,950 I feel like Mel Gibson at the Museum of Tolerance. 1084 01:01:19,950 --> 01:01:22,390 Let's keep trying. 1085 01:01:22,390 --> 01:01:24,420 Here's what's really jacked. 1086 01:01:24,420 --> 01:01:25,760 I miss him. 1087 01:01:25,760 --> 01:01:27,530 The bean pole? 1088 01:01:27,530 --> 01:01:30,160 Yeah. That's why I wanted to be friends with him. 1089 01:01:30,160 --> 01:01:33,330 On paper we're totally wrong for each other. 1090 01:01:33,330 --> 01:01:35,900 He's all dorky and self conscious. 1091 01:01:35,900 --> 01:01:38,610 He likes Gaga more than Madonna, 1092 01:01:38,610 --> 01:01:42,880 and he actually laughs at clowns. 1093 01:01:42,880 --> 01:01:44,640 But... 1094 01:01:44,640 --> 01:01:49,080 But his goofy smile just slays me every time. 1095 01:01:49,080 --> 01:01:51,120 He loves old movies. 1096 01:01:51,120 --> 01:01:54,350 We always order the same thing on the menu. 1097 01:01:54,350 --> 01:01:57,060 And he always means well, even when he's lying. 1098 01:01:57,060 --> 01:01:58,420 And from what I saw, 1099 01:01:58,420 --> 01:02:01,530 he's hung like The Incredible Hulk. 1100 01:02:01,530 --> 01:02:04,560 Yeah, skinny guys never fail to surprise. 1101 01:02:04,560 --> 01:02:06,430 And he's not into open relationships. 1102 01:02:11,670 --> 01:02:12,740 I don't know. 1103 01:02:12,740 --> 01:02:14,840 Ask yourself something. 1104 01:02:14,840 --> 01:02:18,040 Why are talking about Casey 1105 01:02:18,040 --> 01:02:20,980 when you're about marry Benji? 1106 01:02:25,120 --> 01:02:28,350 - You look so good. - You look so good. 1107 01:02:28,350 --> 01:02:30,860 Oh, it's our flower girl. 1108 01:02:30,860 --> 01:02:32,230 You can be my something blue. 1109 01:02:32,230 --> 01:02:33,990 Very funny. 1110 01:02:33,990 --> 01:02:35,630 Darlin', what's wrong? 1111 01:02:35,630 --> 01:02:38,670 Did Kathy Griffin get another face-lift? 1112 01:02:38,670 --> 01:02:39,870 Zack's getting married. 1113 01:02:39,870 --> 01:02:41,170 Our Zack? 1114 01:02:41,170 --> 01:02:42,740 And he's in an open relationship. 1115 01:02:42,740 --> 01:02:44,800 Oh, I hate his guts. 1116 01:02:44,800 --> 01:02:48,170 Oh, come now, there's too much hate in the world already. 1117 01:02:48,170 --> 01:02:49,940 - You don't hate Zack. - I know. 1118 01:02:49,940 --> 01:02:52,750 Maybe this is life giving you one of those teachable moments 1119 01:02:52,750 --> 01:02:54,380 they're always talking about on CNN. 1120 01:02:54,380 --> 01:02:57,250 Maybe you can put a little more love 1121 01:02:57,250 --> 01:02:59,250 back in the world by supporting Zack. 1122 01:02:59,250 --> 01:03:00,750 Are you kidding me? 1123 01:03:00,750 --> 01:03:02,260 I don't wanna see him get married 1124 01:03:02,260 --> 01:03:03,520 to some guy who's not me. 1125 01:03:03,520 --> 01:03:05,090 But this isn't about you. 1126 01:03:05,090 --> 01:03:07,330 This is about someone you love. 1127 01:03:07,330 --> 01:03:09,260 And even though Zack might not know it, 1128 01:03:09,260 --> 01:03:10,360 he needs your friendship. 1129 01:03:10,360 --> 01:03:12,330 Are you gonna be there for him? 1130 01:03:25,650 --> 01:03:27,280 Truce? 1131 01:03:27,280 --> 01:03:28,680 How did you know I was behind you? 1132 01:03:28,680 --> 01:03:31,150 Transsexual sense. We all have it. 1133 01:03:31,150 --> 01:03:32,490 You do? 1134 01:03:32,490 --> 01:03:34,020 Yeah, TSP. 1135 01:03:34,020 --> 01:03:36,490 So truce? 1136 01:03:36,490 --> 01:03:38,690 Truce. 1137 01:03:38,690 --> 01:03:41,960 What's the catch? 1138 01:03:41,960 --> 01:03:44,630 I think our fight is actually pretty stupid. 1139 01:03:46,900 --> 01:03:48,330 It's just that since Jason, 1140 01:03:48,330 --> 01:03:49,970 I act like I'm confident 1141 01:03:49,970 --> 01:03:52,840 and I can find another boyfriend whenever I want, 1142 01:03:52,840 --> 01:03:54,570 but... 1143 01:03:54,570 --> 01:03:57,410 - I'm scared. - You and me both. 1144 01:03:57,410 --> 01:03:58,910 Oh, come on. You have a natural born vagina. 1145 01:03:58,910 --> 01:04:00,750 Just lay it out on plate, and men come crawling. 1146 01:04:00,750 --> 01:04:03,080 But my personality scares them off. 1147 01:04:03,080 --> 01:04:05,420 I wish I was more like you. 1148 01:04:05,420 --> 01:04:08,590 I can't believe a cis woman just said that to me. 1149 01:04:08,590 --> 01:04:10,660 A what? 1150 01:04:10,660 --> 01:04:11,960 A non-transsexual. 1151 01:04:11,960 --> 01:04:13,090 Oh.. 1152 01:04:13,090 --> 01:04:15,630 Buenos Dias, ladies. 1153 01:04:15,630 --> 01:04:17,030 He's all yours. 1154 01:04:17,030 --> 01:04:19,900 Oh, I'm mad at him. 1155 01:04:19,900 --> 01:04:21,840 It is hot today, isn't it? 1156 01:04:25,100 --> 01:04:28,340 God, it's hard to stay mad at him. 1157 01:04:28,340 --> 01:04:29,980 Is he flirting with you or me? 1158 01:04:29,980 --> 01:04:31,780 He's playing with both of us. 1159 01:04:31,780 --> 01:04:33,950 I guess teasing gay boys isn't enough. 1160 01:04:33,950 --> 01:04:37,080 He has to get us women to fight each other, too. 1161 01:04:37,080 --> 01:04:39,950 Let's go put that sexy bastard in his place. 1162 01:04:39,950 --> 01:04:43,720 - You've got balls. - That's not funny. 1163 01:04:43,720 --> 01:04:44,990 Oh, God. 1164 01:04:44,990 --> 01:04:47,290 I'm sorry. I meant in the same way I do. 1165 01:04:47,290 --> 01:04:50,160 Just fucking with you. I know what you meant. 1166 01:04:55,630 --> 01:04:57,840 And do you, Rick, promise to love Steve 1167 01:04:57,840 --> 01:04:59,140 for as both as you long shall live? 1168 01:04:59,140 --> 01:05:01,510 - Well, duh. - Great. 1169 01:05:09,780 --> 01:05:11,350 Congratulations. 1170 01:05:11,350 --> 01:05:13,120 So you heard. 1171 01:05:13,120 --> 01:05:14,790 Yeah. 1172 01:05:20,260 --> 01:05:22,660 I'm sorry that I lied to you. 1173 01:05:24,260 --> 01:05:26,300 I'm sorry, too. 1174 01:05:28,270 --> 01:05:32,840 Are you excited for your wedding? 1175 01:05:32,840 --> 01:05:34,370 I don't know. 1176 01:05:34,370 --> 01:05:39,350 We're just getting married to make a political statement. 1177 01:05:39,350 --> 01:05:42,110 I always pictured a big beautiful wedding. 1178 01:05:42,110 --> 01:05:43,980 What, you in white? 1179 01:05:43,980 --> 01:05:46,190 Sunflowers everywhere. 1180 01:05:46,190 --> 01:05:47,490 A choir singing Ray of Light. 1181 01:05:47,490 --> 01:05:49,190 We'd write our own vows. 1182 01:05:49,190 --> 01:05:51,320 Aw, and they'd make us cry when we read 'em. 1183 01:05:51,320 --> 01:05:53,630 And when the minister pronounced us husband and husband... 1184 01:05:53,630 --> 01:05:56,430 We'd do a choreographed dance to "Umbrella." 1185 01:05:56,430 --> 01:05:59,730 With umbrellas. 1186 01:05:59,730 --> 01:06:04,770 I-- I didn't mean we. I meant you. 1187 01:06:09,180 --> 01:06:12,250 Do you do you need a best man? 1188 01:06:14,480 --> 01:06:16,520 What? Are you serious? 1189 01:06:16,520 --> 01:06:19,690 I know I haven't always been the best man, 1190 01:06:19,690 --> 01:06:21,520 but... 1191 01:06:21,520 --> 01:06:25,730 I came here to tell you that I want you in my life, 1192 01:06:25,730 --> 01:06:29,000 even if it is just as your best man. 1193 01:06:35,030 --> 01:06:37,600 I get why you did it. 1194 01:06:37,600 --> 01:06:40,540 You wanted the best for me. 1195 01:06:40,540 --> 01:06:41,910 It's what best men do. 1196 01:06:44,610 --> 01:06:49,450 So does that mean I can do it? 1197 01:06:49,450 --> 01:06:51,480 But this isn't my real wedding. 1198 01:06:51,480 --> 01:06:54,320 Casey? It's time. 1199 01:06:58,490 --> 01:06:59,590 This is his room. 1200 01:06:59,590 --> 01:07:00,730 So what's the plan? 1201 01:07:00,730 --> 01:07:02,260 I thought you had a plan? 1202 01:07:02,260 --> 01:07:03,600 That's because you're stupid. 1203 01:07:03,600 --> 01:07:05,700 Wait. What if he's with someone? 1204 01:07:05,700 --> 01:07:08,430 You're right. We should break in. 1205 01:07:11,470 --> 01:07:13,910 - What are you doing? - Shh. 1206 01:07:19,080 --> 01:07:20,850 Come on, Luis. 1207 01:07:20,850 --> 01:07:22,720 Are you scared to face up to the consequences 1208 01:07:22,720 --> 01:07:24,550 of the way you treat women? 1209 01:07:26,050 --> 01:07:28,420 I spy with my little eye 1210 01:07:28,420 --> 01:07:30,420 something that begins with pussy. 1211 01:07:30,420 --> 01:07:33,090 I not scared. 1212 01:07:33,090 --> 01:07:34,260 I am naked. 1213 01:07:34,260 --> 01:07:37,900 Oh, my. You are. 1214 01:07:37,900 --> 01:07:40,900 He's butt naked and circumcised. 1215 01:07:40,900 --> 01:07:42,330 Congratulations. You can read. 1216 01:07:42,330 --> 01:07:44,200 What are you doing here? 1217 01:07:44,200 --> 01:07:45,870 You've been playing us against each other this whole weekend. 1218 01:07:45,870 --> 01:07:47,440 Leading us on. 1219 01:07:47,440 --> 01:07:49,240 Naming the same drink after both of us. 1220 01:07:49,240 --> 01:07:50,440 Ogling our bosoms. 1221 01:07:50,440 --> 01:07:52,280 What's the matter with you? 1222 01:07:52,280 --> 01:07:53,610 I sorry. 1223 01:07:53,610 --> 01:07:56,250 I just like the attention, 1224 01:07:56,250 --> 01:07:57,920 but I'm harmless. 1225 01:07:57,920 --> 01:07:59,990 You see, no women will ever have me 1226 01:07:59,990 --> 01:08:02,020 because of my... 1227 01:08:02,020 --> 01:08:03,190 problem. 1228 01:08:03,190 --> 01:08:04,960 What problem? 1229 01:08:04,960 --> 01:08:07,230 Oh, Penny, I should not have been so quick to judge you. 1230 01:08:07,230 --> 01:08:08,960 You are right. 1231 01:08:08,960 --> 01:08:13,130 It is not your anatomy that makes you a beautiful woman. 1232 01:08:13,130 --> 01:08:14,330 So what, you're trans now? 1233 01:08:14,330 --> 01:08:15,930 I was trying to do the right thing. 1234 01:08:15,930 --> 01:08:18,770 - Those were not your pills? - No, they're mine, 1235 01:08:18,770 --> 01:08:20,540 and how is stealing my identity the right thing? 1236 01:08:20,540 --> 01:08:21,870 Well, I guess you had to be there. 1237 01:08:21,870 --> 01:08:23,840 It doesn't matter who is what. 1238 01:08:23,840 --> 01:08:26,550 You are both beautiful women. 1239 01:08:26,550 --> 01:08:29,220 And like so many beautiful and cruel women before, 1240 01:08:29,220 --> 01:08:34,190 neither of you will have me once you have seen my problem. 1241 01:08:34,190 --> 01:08:36,490 What's you're goddamned problem already? 1242 01:08:39,290 --> 01:08:41,130 I was born with a tail. 1243 01:08:41,130 --> 01:08:42,930 Born with a what? 1244 01:08:48,030 --> 01:08:49,570 Whoa. 1245 01:08:49,570 --> 01:08:52,970 My mother, she thought it was a sign from God, 1246 01:08:52,970 --> 01:08:55,540 so she made the doctors keep it, 1247 01:08:55,540 --> 01:08:56,910 and now that I am grown, 1248 01:08:56,910 --> 01:08:59,750 it is too dangerous for them to take it out. 1249 01:08:59,750 --> 01:09:01,550 Because of this tail, 1250 01:09:01,550 --> 01:09:04,220 women scream 1251 01:09:04,220 --> 01:09:05,450 and I never make love. 1252 01:09:05,450 --> 01:09:08,120 I just flirt. 1253 01:09:11,690 --> 01:09:13,930 I kind of know exactly where you're coming from. 1254 01:09:15,290 --> 01:09:17,930 So now what? 1255 01:09:24,170 --> 01:09:25,840 To be honest, 1256 01:09:25,840 --> 01:09:29,810 I'm having some really trashy thoughts right now. 1257 01:09:29,810 --> 01:09:31,440 Me, too. 1258 01:09:33,010 --> 01:09:35,250 What is happening? 1259 01:09:35,250 --> 01:09:37,880 I don't think they have a name for this in Spanish. 1260 01:09:55,870 --> 01:09:59,140 - No way. - Not happening. 1261 01:09:59,140 --> 01:10:03,010 Let's just keep you in the middle. 1262 01:10:03,010 --> 01:10:05,080 Maravillosa. 1263 01:10:05,080 --> 01:10:09,750 Quick question-- Can that thing get hard? 1264 01:10:09,750 --> 01:10:15,590 Jerry, you're the Aladdin to my Jasmine, 1265 01:10:15,590 --> 01:10:17,390 the Weasley to my Hermione, 1266 01:10:17,390 --> 01:10:21,060 and the Brad to my Angelina if they're still together. 1267 01:10:21,060 --> 01:10:26,170 Oh, Bernard, I once loved someone and set him free. 1268 01:10:26,170 --> 01:10:29,170 He slept with a meth head and ran off with a hairdresser. 1269 01:10:29,170 --> 01:10:30,770 Of course he did. 1270 01:10:30,770 --> 01:10:35,580 So now I'm gonna tie you down while I can, okay? 1271 01:10:38,340 --> 01:10:39,680 You two are next. 1272 01:10:39,680 --> 01:10:40,910 We've assigned witnesses 1273 01:10:40,910 --> 01:10:42,680 unless you have friends or family here. 1274 01:10:42,680 --> 01:10:44,780 Yeah, my best man is their flower girl. 1275 01:10:44,780 --> 01:10:47,320 - Oh, but... - But what? 1276 01:10:47,320 --> 01:10:48,820 Oh, my... 1277 01:10:48,820 --> 01:10:49,860 That means you two 1278 01:10:49,860 --> 01:10:51,360 are the ex and new boyfriend 1279 01:10:51,360 --> 01:10:52,820 he was so intimidated by? 1280 01:10:52,820 --> 01:10:55,630 - He told you? - He told someone. 1281 01:10:55,630 --> 01:10:58,160 I just have really good hearing. 1282 01:10:58,160 --> 01:11:01,900 So he's gonna help you guys get married? 1283 01:11:01,900 --> 01:11:05,200 Guys that good are really hard to find. 1284 01:11:05,200 --> 01:11:06,610 Yeah, they are. 1285 01:11:09,880 --> 01:11:12,010 Love is never easy. 1286 01:11:12,010 --> 01:11:14,380 We won't always understand each other. 1287 01:11:14,380 --> 01:11:17,380 We won't even like each other some days, 1288 01:11:17,380 --> 01:11:21,420 but no matter what, you're a part of me. 1289 01:11:21,420 --> 01:11:24,660 My heart is connected to yours, 1290 01:11:24,660 --> 01:11:27,430 and no argument, no document, 1291 01:11:27,430 --> 01:11:29,860 and certainly no court ruling 1292 01:11:29,860 --> 01:11:31,700 is ever going to change that. 1293 01:11:31,700 --> 01:11:34,100 And now, by the power vested in me-- 1294 01:11:34,100 --> 01:11:36,300 - Can we kiss already? - Please, please. 1295 01:11:42,370 --> 01:11:45,410 So now I've had sex. 1296 01:11:45,410 --> 01:11:46,680 How does it feel? 1297 01:11:46,680 --> 01:11:48,710 It was good... 1298 01:11:49,950 --> 01:11:52,280 but not as good as cheesecake. 1299 01:11:52,280 --> 01:11:53,850 It never is. 1300 01:11:56,920 --> 01:12:00,290 There will be cheesecake at the wedding reception. 1301 01:12:00,290 --> 01:12:02,090 The wedding. 1302 01:12:03,230 --> 01:12:05,030 Those old farts sure took their time. 1303 01:12:05,030 --> 01:12:06,600 Okay, we've got five minutes 1304 01:12:06,600 --> 01:12:07,770 before the legal marriage loophole closes. 1305 01:12:07,770 --> 01:12:09,170 You two ready? 1306 01:12:09,170 --> 01:12:10,870 Ready. 1307 01:12:15,710 --> 01:12:17,940 Aah, wait. My tail is stuck. 1308 01:12:21,150 --> 01:12:25,650 Okay, we are here to join Zachary and Benjamin 1309 01:12:25,650 --> 01:12:26,850 in rapid matrimony. 1310 01:12:26,850 --> 01:12:28,690 Marriage is a contract 1311 01:12:28,690 --> 01:12:31,190 that should not be entered into lightly, blah, blah, blah, 1312 01:12:31,190 --> 01:12:33,360 we gotta hurry this up if you guys wanna do this in time, 1313 01:12:33,360 --> 01:12:34,560 so does anyone object? 1314 01:12:34,560 --> 01:12:35,930 Anyone? 1315 01:12:37,730 --> 01:12:40,300 Someone objects. 1316 01:12:40,300 --> 01:12:42,730 Oh, God, her? 1317 01:12:42,730 --> 01:12:44,370 No. Sorry. 1318 01:12:44,370 --> 01:12:48,410 I wasn't-- Not forever holding my peace. 1319 01:12:48,410 --> 01:12:50,540 Okay, so do you Zachary 1320 01:12:50,540 --> 01:12:53,050 take Benjamin to be your lawfully wedded partner for life? 1321 01:12:54,180 --> 01:12:55,620 I... 1322 01:12:57,120 --> 01:12:58,680 I... 1323 01:13:00,650 --> 01:13:02,050 Can I talk to you? 1324 01:13:02,050 --> 01:13:04,820 Yeah, sure by all means, please do. 1325 01:13:04,820 --> 01:13:06,890 You've got several seconds. 1326 01:13:08,330 --> 01:13:09,430 We can't do this. 1327 01:13:09,430 --> 01:13:10,530 You don't even love me. 1328 01:13:10,530 --> 01:13:12,560 No, but I lurve you. 1329 01:13:12,560 --> 01:13:14,030 We're evolving, 1330 01:13:14,030 --> 01:13:16,030 and this is just a legal procedure, that's it. 1331 01:13:16,030 --> 01:13:18,240 I know it is, for you. 1332 01:13:18,240 --> 01:13:20,870 That's not what marriage is to me. 1333 01:13:20,870 --> 01:13:22,880 I'm not fighting 1334 01:13:22,880 --> 01:13:25,310 for the right to make a political statement. 1335 01:13:25,310 --> 01:13:27,050 I'm asking my country to recognize me 1336 01:13:27,050 --> 01:13:29,420 for who I am and the family I want to make, 1337 01:13:29,420 --> 01:13:31,380 and this isn't it. 1338 01:13:31,380 --> 01:13:36,720 Are you saying you don't want to make a family with me? 1339 01:13:36,720 --> 01:13:38,820 I guess I am. 1340 01:13:38,820 --> 01:13:40,790 I mean, I lurve you... 1341 01:13:43,260 --> 01:13:44,400 but... 1342 01:13:46,460 --> 01:13:47,800 I love somebody else. 1343 01:13:52,470 --> 01:13:54,970 You've always been there. It's always been you. 1344 01:13:54,970 --> 01:13:57,510 It's always been you. 1345 01:13:57,510 --> 01:14:00,480 I just I didn't realize it... 1346 01:14:00,480 --> 01:14:01,810 Until now. 1347 01:14:03,450 --> 01:14:07,820 One minute. 1348 01:14:07,820 --> 01:14:10,690 I'm really sorry. 1349 01:14:10,690 --> 01:14:13,730 Go ahead, kiss him. 1350 01:14:17,460 --> 01:14:19,600 You were my best friend, 1351 01:14:19,600 --> 01:14:23,340 then my boyfriend, 1352 01:14:23,340 --> 01:14:25,270 and then my best man, 1353 01:14:25,270 --> 01:14:27,340 - and now-- - Thirty seconds. 1354 01:14:27,340 --> 01:14:28,940 Is somebody going to get married or what? 1355 01:14:44,960 --> 01:14:46,590 What a day it's been. 1356 01:14:46,590 --> 01:14:48,360 What a life it's going to be. 1357 01:14:55,430 --> 01:14:56,740 One Penny. 1358 01:14:56,740 --> 01:14:58,000 Ooh. 1359 01:14:58,000 --> 01:14:59,640 And one Lilly. 1360 01:14:59,640 --> 01:15:01,070 Thank you, Luis. 1361 01:15:01,070 --> 01:15:03,080 We're gonna miss you, Luis. 1362 01:15:03,080 --> 01:15:05,740 Oh, you will forget me once you leave this place. 1363 01:15:05,740 --> 01:15:07,410 - Never. - Probably. 1364 01:15:07,410 --> 01:15:08,810 Hm. 1365 01:15:10,350 --> 01:15:14,150 So how do you feel now that you're a woman? 1366 01:15:14,150 --> 01:15:15,890 Not that different than before. 1367 01:15:15,890 --> 01:15:17,560 Just a little more... 1368 01:15:17,560 --> 01:15:21,360 I don't know, powerful. 1369 01:15:21,360 --> 01:15:24,260 I'll be asking you the same question in a few weeks. 1370 01:15:24,260 --> 01:15:27,430 And you'll probably get the same answer. 1371 01:15:27,430 --> 01:15:33,140 To a beautiful weekend. To two beautiful women. 1372 01:15:33,140 --> 01:15:34,970 Cheers. 1373 01:15:36,980 --> 01:15:38,510 Shall we? 1374 01:15:46,620 --> 01:15:49,960 You're awful frisky for a jilted groom. 1375 01:15:49,960 --> 01:15:51,690 Hey, it sucks to break up, 1376 01:15:51,690 --> 01:15:54,230 but that's why they invented rebounds. 1377 01:15:54,230 --> 01:15:55,960 Rebounds are my specialty. 1378 01:15:59,900 --> 01:16:03,540 And three-ways-- Those are my specialty. 1379 01:16:12,810 --> 01:16:15,810 For a second there I thought we were gonna get married. 1380 01:16:15,810 --> 01:16:17,680 I know. So did I. 1381 01:16:17,680 --> 01:16:19,420 Can you imagine? 1382 01:16:19,420 --> 01:16:21,620 Well, yeah. 1383 01:16:21,620 --> 01:16:23,460 Me, too. 1384 01:16:23,460 --> 01:16:26,830 So we both love each other. So now what? 1385 01:16:26,830 --> 01:16:29,200 You mean what if we get bored again? 1386 01:16:29,200 --> 01:16:30,860 Yeah. 1387 01:16:30,860 --> 01:16:33,400 I guess we could always break up. 1388 01:16:33,400 --> 01:16:36,100 And then lie, trick, and seduce our way 1389 01:16:36,100 --> 01:16:37,900 back into each other's hearts. 1390 01:16:37,900 --> 01:16:40,610 Sounds like a plan. 1391 01:16:40,610 --> 01:16:43,980 We are so weird. 1392 01:16:43,980 --> 01:16:46,180 ♪ So I asked for love ♪ 1393 01:16:46,180 --> 01:16:49,920 ♪ I asked for a song ♪ 1394 01:16:49,920 --> 01:16:53,190 - ♪ And there'll be joy ♪ - ♪ There'll be joy ♪ 1395 01:16:53,190 --> 01:16:54,990 - ♪ Joy ♪ - ♪ There'll be joy ♪ 1396 01:16:54,990 --> 01:16:57,790 ♪ Joy ♪ 1397 01:16:57,790 --> 01:16:59,830 ♪ I searched for peace ♪ 1398 01:16:59,830 --> 01:17:01,660 ♪ I begged for health ♪ 1399 01:17:01,660 --> 01:17:05,160 - ♪ And I Prayed for time ♪ - ♪ Prayed for time ♪ 1400 01:17:05,160 --> 01:17:08,430 - ♪ And there'll be joy ♪ - ♪ There'll be joy ♪ 1401 01:17:08,430 --> 01:17:10,440 - ♪ Joy ♪ - ♪ There'll be joy ♪ 1402 01:17:10,440 --> 01:17:14,240 ♪ Joy ♪ 1403 01:17:14,240 --> 01:17:16,010 ♪♪ 1404 01:17:20,880 --> 01:17:23,050 ♪ I searched for peace ♪ 1405 01:17:23,050 --> 01:17:24,880 ♪ I begged for health ♪ 1406 01:17:24,880 --> 01:17:26,790 ♪ And I prayed for time ♪ 1407 01:17:26,790 --> 01:17:28,850 ♪ Prayed for time ♪ 1408 01:17:28,850 --> 01:17:31,920 - ♪ And there'll be joy ♪ - ♪ There'll be joy ♪ 1409 01:17:31,920 --> 01:17:33,930 - ♪ Joy ♪ - ♪ There'll be joy ♪ 1410 01:17:33,930 --> 01:17:36,130 ♪ Joy ♪ 1411 01:17:49,940 --> 01:17:52,440 ♪ Took a walk alone today ♪ 1412 01:17:52,440 --> 01:17:54,880 ♪ First time I'd seen the sun ♪ 1413 01:17:54,880 --> 01:17:58,420 ♪ The oceans, every blade of grass, and I ♪ 1414 01:17:58,420 --> 01:18:00,420 ♪ We all live as one ♪ 1415 01:18:00,420 --> 01:18:03,320 ♪ Two birds in a yellowwood tree ♪ 1416 01:18:03,320 --> 01:18:05,760 ♪ I wish our love would always be ♪ 1417 01:18:05,760 --> 01:18:08,260 ♪ I've seen the works of heaven ♪ 1418 01:18:08,260 --> 01:18:11,360 ♪ But it took your love to set me free ♪ 1419 01:18:11,360 --> 01:18:14,330 ♪ I've seen the wonders of the world ♪ 1420 01:18:14,330 --> 01:18:17,200 ♪ Stood on mountains green and tall ♪ 1421 01:18:17,200 --> 01:18:20,370 ♪ Seen kingdoms rise and fall ♪ 1422 01:18:20,370 --> 01:18:22,570 ♪ All for love and war ♪ 1423 01:18:22,570 --> 01:18:25,310 ♪ Yet I yearn to understand ♪ 1424 01:18:25,310 --> 01:18:28,250 ♪ The amazement in my hands ♪ 1425 01:18:28,250 --> 01:18:31,250 ♪ There's nothing on this land ♪ 1426 01:18:31,250 --> 01:18:35,320 ♪ Like you ♪ 1427 01:18:38,120 --> 01:18:40,590 ♪ You ♪ 1428 01:18:40,590 --> 01:18:43,660 ♪ Amaze me ♪ 1429 01:18:43,660 --> 01:18:46,530 ♪ Thought about how you made me see ♪ 1430 01:18:46,530 --> 01:18:49,100 ♪ And how the colors came to life in me ♪ 1431 01:18:49,100 --> 01:18:51,440 ♪ When I saw a butterfly ♪ 1432 01:18:51,440 --> 01:18:54,510 ♪ Dance upon destiny ♪ 1433 01:18:54,510 --> 01:18:57,140 ♪ And I watched it rise up and fly ♪ 1434 01:18:57,140 --> 01:18:59,780 ♪ It was then I saw you and I ♪ 1435 01:18:59,780 --> 01:19:02,580 ♪ I feel like a little child ♪ 1436 01:19:02,580 --> 01:19:05,380 ♪ On its first breath of life ♪ 1437 01:19:05,380 --> 01:19:08,450 ♪ I've seen the wonders of the world ♪ 1438 01:19:08,450 --> 01:19:11,120 ♪ Stood on mountains green and tall ♪ 1439 01:19:11,120 --> 01:19:14,290 ♪ Seen kingdoms rise and fall ♪ 1440 01:19:14,290 --> 01:19:16,600 ♪ All for love and war ♪ 1441 01:19:16,600 --> 01:19:19,360 ♪ Yet I yearn to understand ♪ 1442 01:19:19,360 --> 01:19:22,300 ♪ The amazement in my hands ♪ 1443 01:19:22,300 --> 01:19:25,300 ♪ There's nothing on this land ♪ 1444 01:19:25,300 --> 01:19:29,370 ♪ Like you ♪ 1445 01:19:29,370 --> 01:19:32,180 ♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪ 1446 01:19:32,180 --> 01:19:34,650 ♪ You ♪ 1447 01:19:34,650 --> 01:19:39,380 ♪ Amaze me ♪ 1448 01:19:39,380 --> 01:19:42,890 ♪ Yeah, yeah, whoa... ♪ 1449 01:19:42,890 --> 01:19:45,360 ♪ When I count the compromises ♪ 1450 01:19:45,360 --> 01:19:49,160 ♪ Showed me like... inside ♪ 1451 01:19:49,160 --> 01:19:51,500 ♪ And I saw you ♪ 1452 01:19:51,500 --> 01:19:54,070 ♪ I've seen the wonders of the world ♪ 1453 01:19:54,070 --> 01:19:56,700 ♪ Stood on mountains green and tall ♪ 1454 01:19:56,700 --> 01:20:00,070 ♪ Seen kingdoms rise and fall ♪ 1455 01:20:00,070 --> 01:20:02,270 ♪ All for love and war ♪ 1456 01:20:02,270 --> 01:20:05,010 ♪ Yet I yearn to understand ♪ 1457 01:20:05,010 --> 01:20:07,750 ♪ The amazement in my hands ♪ 1458 01:20:07,750 --> 01:20:10,950 ♪ There's nothing on this land ♪ 1459 01:20:10,950 --> 01:20:13,450 ♪ Like you ♪ 1460 01:20:13,450 --> 01:20:16,350 ♪ There's nothing on this land ♪ 1461 01:20:16,350 --> 01:20:22,230 ♪ Like you ♪ 1462 01:20:23,300 --> 01:20:26,060 ♪ You ♪ 1463 01:20:26,060 --> 01:20:28,830 ♪ Amaze me ♪ 1464 01:20:36,510 --> 01:20:39,240 You are 10 kinds of sexy. 1465 01:20:39,240 --> 01:20:41,780 How do you feel about open relationships? 1466 01:20:43,620 --> 01:20:45,280 Intrigued. 1467 01:20:45,280 --> 01:20:47,990 Do you maybe want to go out on a date? 1468 01:20:47,990 --> 01:20:51,820 I'd like that. 1469 01:20:51,820 --> 01:20:54,690 Can I come? 1470 01:20:54,690 --> 01:20:57,960 Just kidding. I'm a Republican Congressman. 1471 01:20:57,960 --> 01:20:59,400 Can you imagine if that got out? 1472 01:21:06,710 --> 01:21:09,270 ♪ Do you like what you see? ♪ 1473 01:21:09,270 --> 01:21:12,210 ♪ I keep entertaining ♪ 1474 01:21:12,210 --> 01:21:15,780 ♪ Why won't you let me be? ♪ 1475 01:21:15,780 --> 01:21:18,820 ♪ Me be? ♪ 1476 01:21:18,820 --> 01:21:22,390 ♪ So what am I supposed to do? ♪ 1477 01:21:22,390 --> 01:21:25,120 ♪ To do business with you? ♪ 1478 01:21:25,120 --> 01:21:27,860 ♪ I like your company ♪ 1479 01:21:27,860 --> 01:21:31,160 ♪ Your company ♪ 1480 01:21:31,160 --> 01:21:34,070 ♪ Keep it professional ♪ 1481 01:21:34,070 --> 01:21:35,430 ♪ Keep it ♪ 1482 01:21:35,430 --> 01:21:37,570 ♪ Keep it professional ♪ 1483 01:21:37,570 --> 01:21:40,940 ♪ Extra! Extra! Read all about it ♪ 1484 01:21:40,940 --> 01:21:43,810 ♪♪ 1485 01:21:43,810 --> 01:21:46,880 ♪ Keep it professional... ♪ 1486 01:21:50,480 --> 01:21:54,990 ♪ Extra, extra, extra ♪ 1487 01:21:54,990 --> 01:21:56,690 ♪ Read all about it ♪ 102322