All language subtitles for Cavendish - 01x08 - Its An Andyful Life

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,934 --> 00:00:06,638 Happy birthday, Andy! Go on, make a wish. 2 00:00:07,497 --> 00:00:08,774 I wish to write 3 00:00:08,909 --> 00:00:12,644 a great Canadian novel by the time I am 35. 4 00:00:12,779 --> 00:00:15,280 And you will, but don't say it out loud 5 00:00:15,282 --> 00:00:17,849 or it might not come true. Where's your mother? 6 00:00:17,985 --> 00:00:20,852 Andrea! Boy's just about to blow his candles! 7 00:00:23,324 --> 00:00:25,457 - Rollie! - You alright? 8 00:00:25,592 --> 00:00:27,859 - It's time! - It's happening, is it? 9 00:00:27,895 --> 00:00:29,861 OK, I'm coming! 10 00:00:29,997 --> 00:00:31,863 I can't believe it! I'm gonna have a new son! 11 00:00:31,998 --> 00:00:35,302 Wait, Daddy! What about my party? And opening my presents? 12 00:00:35,404 --> 00:00:38,670 Andy, you are just about to get a new baby brother. 13 00:00:38,739 --> 00:00:41,707 Can't ask for a better present than that! Dear God! 14 00:00:48,136 --> 00:00:50,883 For the new baby boy. 15 00:01:00,408 --> 00:01:01,426 And for the record... 16 00:01:02,363 --> 00:01:05,080 Woah! Fifteen! 17 00:01:06,266 --> 00:01:09,034 - Dear God, Dad! - Ah! 18 00:01:09,560 --> 00:01:10,877 You guys eat breakfast without me? 19 00:01:10,938 --> 00:01:12,290 I knew I was forgetting something. 20 00:01:12,373 --> 00:01:16,441 Go and have a seat, Andy! It's your brother's birthday! 21 00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:18,316 Finally, my boyhood is behind me. 22 00:01:18,379 --> 00:01:20,175 Yeah, well, you're still a boy in my book. 23 00:01:20,248 --> 00:01:23,114 I mean, you do cry while you're having your hair cut. 24 00:01:23,250 --> 00:01:25,383 Well, they cut too much. It's not what I asked for. 25 00:01:25,519 --> 00:01:29,721 - It's never what I asked for. - Are we forgetting anything? 26 00:01:29,856 --> 00:01:31,656 - Um... - Uh... 27 00:01:31,725 --> 00:01:33,705 Family gathering, pancakes... Uh... 28 00:01:33,761 --> 00:01:36,394 Mark's birthday's stocking's up. I don't think so. 29 00:01:37,617 --> 00:01:39,931 - It's my birthday too. - Oh? 30 00:01:40,067 --> 00:01:42,234 It's my birthday too. Mark and I were born 31 00:01:42,369 --> 00:01:45,537 - on the same day. - No. You... You sure? 32 00:01:45,573 --> 00:01:47,539 Cause you seem more like a... 33 00:01:47,575 --> 00:01:49,607 - winter birthday boy to me. - I think I know 34 00:01:49,743 --> 00:01:52,677 - when my birthday is, Dad. - I just think this is terrific. 35 00:01:52,746 --> 00:01:55,481 Andy, would you like some birthday pancakes? 36 00:01:55,616 --> 00:01:58,951 - They're chocolate chip. - I'm allergic to chocolate. 37 00:01:58,953 --> 00:02:00,619 - Really? - What? 38 00:02:00,754 --> 00:02:02,488 - Like you're some king of dog. - That's OK. 39 00:02:02,623 --> 00:02:04,556 I'll just take out the chocolate pieces. 40 00:02:04,558 --> 00:02:06,425 It'll look like a hungry little mouse got at them! 41 00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:08,527 There you go! Problem solved. 42 00:02:08,662 --> 00:02:11,162 Right! We got to party to crack on! 43 00:02:11,198 --> 00:02:13,765 Obviously, it was designed just for Mark, 44 00:02:13,901 --> 00:02:17,102 but now it can be for the both of you. So that's alright, isn't it? 45 00:02:17,237 --> 00:02:19,838 - Yeah. That's... I guess. - There's that joyless 46 00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:22,440 submission to fate we've all grown to love 47 00:02:22,576 --> 00:02:25,677 and cherish. Good lad! Right! Come on! 48 00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:28,313 - Fifteen pancakes! - Yeah, that was a lot! 49 00:02:31,385 --> 00:02:34,986 - Surprise! - Oh, my goodness! 50 00:02:35,055 --> 00:02:37,756 - See? It's a surprise party! - How long have you guys been waiting out here? 51 00:02:37,891 --> 00:02:40,058 Cause we just had like a full breakfast. 52 00:02:40,060 --> 00:02:42,461 - A very long time. - You see, 53 00:02:42,596 --> 00:02:44,463 I missed so many of your birthdays 54 00:02:44,598 --> 00:02:46,531 when you were growing up, I just wanted to make up 55 00:02:46,567 --> 00:02:48,667 for some lost time. Go and have a seat. 56 00:02:48,669 --> 00:02:51,002 Ladies and gentlemen, if I could have your attention! 57 00:02:51,138 --> 00:02:55,073 You can all take a seat, please. Thank you for being here today 58 00:02:55,075 --> 00:02:57,142 to celebrate Mark's birthday. 59 00:02:57,277 --> 00:03:01,079 Oh, and as some of us have recently discovered, Andy's. 60 00:03:02,121 --> 00:03:05,483 Now, the one thing that these two boys 61 00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:07,619 had in common when they were kids 62 00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:10,021 was their love of magic. Isn't that true? 63 00:03:10,157 --> 00:03:13,203 - Actually, yes. Yes, it was. - And so, with that in mind, 64 00:03:13,294 --> 00:03:17,495 I have hired a local magician to astound us all. 65 00:03:17,631 --> 00:03:21,537 Please welcome Quantum the Unyielding! 66 00:03:21,835 --> 00:03:25,237 Thank you! Thank you! Hello, friends. 67 00:03:25,239 --> 00:03:27,505 I am Quantum the Unyielding, 68 00:03:27,541 --> 00:03:29,265 formally Quantum the Spectacular, 69 00:03:29,310 --> 00:03:33,311 but recently changed due to the darkest spell of them all: 70 00:03:33,447 --> 00:03:36,514 - copyright infringement. Ha! Ha! - It's a good joke. 71 00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:39,517 Look at our two birthday boys surrounded by their friends. 72 00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:42,120 You know, they say friendship is the most valuable thing. 73 00:03:42,122 --> 00:03:45,857 But I think it's actually gold! 74 00:03:46,430 --> 00:03:49,394 - Oh, my goodness! - Magic is real. 75 00:03:50,093 --> 00:03:52,531 You know, if you clean behind your ears, 76 00:03:52,666 --> 00:03:54,666 - you could get rich! - I will keep that in mind. 77 00:03:54,801 --> 00:03:58,403 Your ears also look a bit dirty, but it's not gold back there. 78 00:03:58,538 --> 00:04:00,963 Hang on. What? 79 00:04:01,275 --> 00:04:03,281 How did that get back there? 80 00:04:05,230 --> 00:04:07,546 Oh, my goodness! Andy! 81 00:04:07,681 --> 00:04:10,082 You were probably saving it for later. 82 00:04:10,217 --> 00:04:12,282 - Aren't you a kids' magician? - Oh, yes. I should clarify 83 00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:15,487 that I did select the Quantum adult option. 84 00:04:15,622 --> 00:04:17,789 I think we're seeing what that means! 85 00:04:17,924 --> 00:04:21,192 - You're God damn right. - For my next trick, 86 00:04:21,262 --> 00:04:24,029 a classic with a deck of cards. Please, sir, 87 00:04:24,031 --> 00:04:26,798 - select a card. - Um... There we go. 88 00:04:26,933 --> 00:04:29,268 Memorize it, show it to the gathered crowd. 89 00:04:29,403 --> 00:04:33,438 Replace it in the deck. I shall shuffle the cards, 90 00:04:34,729 --> 00:04:36,108 place them here on this table 91 00:04:36,243 --> 00:04:39,911 and with but a snap... Sir, check inside 92 00:04:40,046 --> 00:04:42,214 your jacket pocket and reveal the chosen card. 93 00:04:44,585 --> 00:04:48,286 - What the...? - Oh, my God! Ha! Ha! Ha! 94 00:04:48,289 --> 00:04:50,188 - How did that get in there? - It's another dildo! 95 00:04:50,190 --> 00:04:51,989 Yeah. This isn't mine. This isn't mine. 96 00:04:52,126 --> 00:04:54,159 No judgment, sir. Nobody's kink shaming anybody. 97 00:04:54,228 --> 00:04:56,483 - To each his own. Right, everyone? - To each his own. 98 00:04:56,531 --> 00:04:58,424 It's not my kink, though. I mean, it's not... It's... 99 00:04:58,467 --> 00:05:02,734 - I mean, it's fine if... - Now... for my final, most spectacular effect, 100 00:05:02,869 --> 00:05:05,247 I will reveal that at this very moment, 101 00:05:05,306 --> 00:05:07,939 this man has hidden about his person 102 00:05:08,075 --> 00:05:10,275 an unfathomable number of dildos! 103 00:05:10,410 --> 00:05:12,310 OK. I'm done! I'm good. 104 00:05:12,346 --> 00:05:15,213 - Excuse me, excuse me. - Come on, Andy! It's funny. Where are you going? 105 00:05:15,348 --> 00:05:17,420 - For a walk. - Oh, Andy, come on, man! 106 00:05:17,485 --> 00:05:20,952 Don't do that! Oh, my goodness, would you look at this? 107 00:05:21,021 --> 00:05:23,155 There's a dildo right on his chair! 108 00:05:23,157 --> 00:05:25,624 Where he was sitting! How did you do that? 109 00:05:25,759 --> 00:05:29,895 - Magic, dear friends, magic. - What a triumph! 110 00:05:38,301 --> 00:05:40,638 You look like a fellow with a lot on his mind. 111 00:05:40,708 --> 00:05:43,442 - Oh, I didn't see you there. - Yeah, it happens sometimes. 112 00:05:43,577 --> 00:05:46,177 Gotta work on my signage. So what's wrong, friend? 113 00:05:46,213 --> 00:05:48,380 You've got a face longer than an Austrian crescent. 114 00:05:48,382 --> 00:05:50,381 That's a type of potato. 115 00:05:50,517 --> 00:05:52,951 - It's my birthday today. - Oh! Happy birthday! 116 00:05:53,086 --> 00:05:55,186 Thank you! Thank you. Actually, 117 00:05:55,222 --> 00:05:57,989 - no one really remembered, so... Yeah. - Oh! 118 00:05:58,058 --> 00:05:59,991 Just once, I'd like to be the center 119 00:06:00,060 --> 00:06:02,193 of attention in a good way, you know, not the bad way. 120 00:06:02,328 --> 00:06:04,396 Right, right. Well, what's the bad way? 121 00:06:04,398 --> 00:06:07,065 I don't know, people pointing at me... laughing at me... 122 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,668 - Laughing at you, sure. - Pulling dildos from my ear. 123 00:06:09,803 --> 00:06:12,437 - Yeah, alright. Yeah, yeah. - Yeah. Is that... OK. 124 00:06:12,439 --> 00:06:15,473 Well, listen, man. If, uh... if you want to talk, 125 00:06:15,609 --> 00:06:17,809 I'm here for you. But... 126 00:06:17,845 --> 00:06:20,512 Looks like someone else might want to have a chat too. 127 00:06:22,616 --> 00:06:24,682 What up? What up? 128 00:06:24,818 --> 00:06:27,519 Hey, man! You took off. What are you doing? 129 00:06:27,654 --> 00:06:29,621 - Buying some... potatoes? - What are you doing here? 130 00:06:29,756 --> 00:06:33,391 - I brought you some cake. - Is that chocolate? 131 00:06:33,526 --> 00:06:36,527 Yeah, why? Oh, right. You don't like chocolate. 132 00:06:36,663 --> 00:06:38,056 - I'm allergic! - You're allergic. 133 00:06:38,099 --> 00:06:40,178 You're allergic, that's right. Check out my new shirt! 134 00:06:40,201 --> 00:06:42,634 Dad got it for me. Also, the scooter. 135 00:06:43,268 --> 00:06:45,637 I'm already learning how to do tail whips. You want to try it out? 136 00:06:45,772 --> 00:06:47,872 I don't care about your stupid scooter. Just leave me alone, OK? 137 00:06:48,008 --> 00:06:52,310 OK. Me thinks we're talking about more than just the scooter here. 138 00:06:52,445 --> 00:06:55,580 - Yeah, maybe. Uh, I don't know. - You don't get it! 139 00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:57,916 Up until I was four, my birthday was just about me 140 00:06:57,918 --> 00:06:59,360 and then you come along and all of the sudden, 141 00:06:59,386 --> 00:07:02,053 I have to play second fiddle to Markie boy and I am tired of it! 142 00:07:02,189 --> 00:07:04,990 - That's not fair. - No! I am tired of it, Mark. 143 00:07:04,992 --> 00:07:07,859 I mean, maybe if I hadn't been shat on for 30 years, 144 00:07:07,861 --> 00:07:10,862 - I could've mounted to something. - Maybe you could've been a contender! 145 00:07:11,575 --> 00:07:13,398 You know what the truth is? The truth is 146 00:07:13,533 --> 00:07:15,533 my life would've been better if you'd never been born. 147 00:07:15,669 --> 00:07:20,004 - What did you just say to me? - I said I wish you were never born! 148 00:07:20,139 --> 00:07:22,139 Wow! OK. 149 00:07:22,176 --> 00:07:25,744 Well, someone just talked his way out of the cake. 150 00:07:26,497 --> 00:07:27,879 Ah, who am I kidding? You can have the cake. 151 00:07:28,014 --> 00:07:29,914 - I'm allergic to the cake! - Oh! 152 00:07:30,050 --> 00:07:32,149 - Thanks, Andy! Really nice. - Ooooh! 153 00:07:33,943 --> 00:07:35,554 Well, it's alright, son. 154 00:07:35,556 --> 00:07:38,089 Take it easy. Take it easy. 155 00:07:38,225 --> 00:07:41,759 Dad? How did I get here? Where's Mark? 156 00:07:41,895 --> 00:07:43,828 It's good to see you awake, Mr. Tennesen. How are you feeling? 157 00:07:43,964 --> 00:07:45,764 Where is my brother? Where's Mark? 158 00:07:47,108 --> 00:07:48,766 Uh... Andy... 159 00:07:49,474 --> 00:07:51,136 You haven't got a brother. 160 00:07:51,271 --> 00:07:54,139 Uh... What's a "mark"? 161 00:07:59,823 --> 00:08:03,482 If this is some practical joke and Mark and the magician are gonna jump out 162 00:08:03,517 --> 00:08:04,916 - with some dildos, please just tell me. - Andy, 163 00:08:04,918 --> 00:08:09,561 - who are you talking about? - Mark! You know, Mark. Everybody loves him, 164 00:08:09,596 --> 00:08:11,691 he... doesn't have a job, he just kind of floats through life. 165 00:08:11,725 --> 00:08:13,525 Andrew, please, would you listen to what you're saying? 166 00:08:13,527 --> 00:08:16,528 How would this Mark even sustain a living? 167 00:08:16,663 --> 00:08:19,397 What's more likely is you really hit your head hard 168 00:08:19,399 --> 00:08:21,800 in that accident and you're confused. Alright? 169 00:08:21,935 --> 00:08:23,802 Now, fortunately, I have the cure right here. 170 00:08:23,937 --> 00:08:25,870 A loving father. 171 00:08:25,906 --> 00:08:27,806 Plus some pills which I'll prescribe. 172 00:08:29,005 --> 00:08:32,244 I'm glad you're alright. I'll see you soon. 173 00:08:33,947 --> 00:08:36,715 Hey! You got me worried. 174 00:08:38,098 --> 00:08:39,884 Oh, pardon me. 175 00:08:40,964 --> 00:08:42,554 How are we feeling here? Um? 176 00:08:42,556 --> 00:08:44,489 - Better? - I'm fine. I just... 177 00:08:45,860 --> 00:08:47,158 You're that potato salesman. 178 00:08:47,294 --> 00:08:49,694 - Hey. - What's going on here? 179 00:08:49,829 --> 00:08:53,098 Well, you made a wish, Andy. Remember? 180 00:08:53,100 --> 00:08:55,033 A wish? When... when did I make a wish? 181 00:08:55,168 --> 00:08:58,570 You wished that Mark had never been born. 182 00:08:58,572 --> 00:09:00,772 And here we are, in a Mark-free world. 183 00:09:01,259 --> 00:09:03,641 Literally. The name Mark doesn't even exist. 184 00:09:03,777 --> 00:09:06,011 You know who invented Facebook in this world? 185 00:09:06,013 --> 00:09:08,513 - No. - Huey Zuckerberg. 186 00:09:08,648 --> 00:09:10,648 - Huey? - He looks the exact same. 187 00:09:10,684 --> 00:09:12,650 He looks... still looks like a... kind of like a deer 188 00:09:12,786 --> 00:09:15,720 that wants to take your soul. You know, with his eyes way over here. 189 00:09:15,855 --> 00:09:17,689 I don't understand. Wishes don't come true. 190 00:09:17,824 --> 00:09:20,392 - Oh, they do on your birthday. - No, they don't. 191 00:09:20,527 --> 00:09:24,195 - They don't. I'm just messing with you. I'm an angel. - Yeah. You're an angel? 192 00:09:24,330 --> 00:09:28,132 And I am here to show you what life would've been like had your brother 193 00:09:28,268 --> 00:09:31,469 never been born. So let's just pop those slippies on... 194 00:09:31,538 --> 00:09:35,006 and go on a little adventure. But I should warn you, Andy. 195 00:09:35,042 --> 00:09:37,208 - You may not like what you see. - Hold on a second. 196 00:09:37,210 --> 00:09:40,145 - So... God is real? - Oh. Uh... 197 00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:42,506 Yeah, we're not gonna... We're not gonna get into all of that. 198 00:09:42,616 --> 00:09:45,884 Let's just say that I'm an angel and we will leave it at that. OK? 199 00:09:46,019 --> 00:09:50,722 - OK. Yeah. - Cool? Yeah. Here we go! 200 00:09:55,083 --> 00:09:58,162 - Is this my home? - Sure is. 201 00:09:58,298 --> 00:10:01,099 Ha! Ha! This is literally out of my dreams. 202 00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:03,835 - This is my dream home! - Yeah, well, you designed it. 203 00:10:03,904 --> 00:10:07,705 But look closer and you... you may start to see cracks 204 00:10:07,741 --> 00:10:10,642 in this perfect facade. 205 00:10:10,644 --> 00:10:13,044 - What are these? - Um? 206 00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:16,114 - Are these literally awards? - Oh, yeah. 207 00:10:16,249 --> 00:10:18,650 Oh, my God, is this a Coastie? The award for the best Canadian novel 208 00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:20,852 from the east or west coast but not the middle? 209 00:10:20,854 --> 00:10:23,187 Uh... Sure. Man, I don't know. Is that a real thing? 210 00:10:23,256 --> 00:10:26,191 Yeah, I guess that's... Seems to be what it is. 211 00:10:26,193 --> 00:10:29,728 That must mean I'm a... published author. 212 00:10:29,730 --> 00:10:31,930 The husks of harvests past, 213 00:10:31,932 --> 00:10:34,532 by Andrew C. Tennesen. I did it! 214 00:10:34,534 --> 00:10:37,135 I actually published a novel! Ha! Ha! 215 00:10:37,270 --> 00:10:40,205 - What a title! - Yeah. Yeah. You wrote a best-selling novel and yes, 216 00:10:40,340 --> 00:10:43,274 - it's been optioned for a movie. - Directed by Tobey Maguire? 217 00:10:43,276 --> 00:10:45,777 - I didn't even know he directed. - Yeah, in this reality, 218 00:10:45,912 --> 00:10:47,679 he got into directing instead of acting, 219 00:10:47,814 --> 00:10:50,949 - something about Mark being born and the butterfly effect. - Hold on a second. 220 00:10:51,084 --> 00:10:53,015 - Molly and I are married? - Yes. 221 00:10:53,054 --> 00:10:56,041 And that's actually a great place to start, because where is she? 222 00:10:56,123 --> 00:10:59,257 You know, why didn't she visit you at the hospital? Um? 223 00:10:59,392 --> 00:11:01,625 Trouble in paradise, that's why. And notice anything 224 00:11:01,762 --> 00:11:04,028 missing here? In this little photo? 225 00:11:04,163 --> 00:11:06,297 - Um? - No Mark? 226 00:11:06,433 --> 00:11:08,699 No Mark. 227 00:11:09,517 --> 00:11:11,569 Just to reiterate, in this reality, 228 00:11:11,605 --> 00:11:14,639 your dear brother Mark does not exist. 229 00:11:14,774 --> 00:11:17,976 - This probably seems cool, right? All of this? - Yes! It does! 230 00:11:18,111 --> 00:11:22,379 Well, think again. I'll show you how uncool it is 231 00:11:22,416 --> 00:11:24,849 by taking you to your party. 232 00:11:24,984 --> 00:11:28,186 - What party? - Your first birthday party 233 00:11:28,255 --> 00:11:32,390 without your brother. Yes, my friend. 234 00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:34,659 Yes, 235 00:11:34,794 --> 00:11:36,538 I'm referring to a party... 236 00:11:38,665 --> 00:11:41,999 ...without Mark. 237 00:11:42,774 --> 00:11:44,469 F..., dude, I was supposed to do like a... 238 00:11:44,604 --> 00:11:46,805 - You... OK. - One sec. Why the hell did I do that? 239 00:11:46,940 --> 00:11:49,406 I'm trying to do like a magic thing. 240 00:11:49,543 --> 00:11:52,210 Without Mark. Goddamn! One second. One second. 241 00:11:52,279 --> 00:11:55,613 - What did I do wrong? And... Ah! - OK. 242 00:11:55,615 --> 00:11:58,082 Angel power. Alright. Alright. 243 00:11:58,217 --> 00:12:00,351 Is it the turn? Are you turning the right way? 244 00:12:00,487 --> 00:12:03,020 Tut-tut. A party... 245 00:12:03,860 --> 00:12:05,690 I feel good about this one. 246 00:12:05,825 --> 00:12:08,426 ...without Mark. 247 00:12:09,500 --> 00:12:11,629 Wow! Magic! 248 00:12:11,765 --> 00:12:13,290 OK. 249 00:12:13,300 --> 00:12:16,700 - Enjoy your party, Andy! - Hey, can I get a drink? 250 00:12:16,737 --> 00:12:19,904 Not a waiter. Not a waiter. 251 00:12:20,039 --> 00:12:22,907 Andy! How's my favorite client? 252 00:12:23,042 --> 00:12:24,920 Hey, Ruth! Client? 253 00:12:26,780 --> 00:12:29,581 Good one! Ha! Ha! Ha! But seriously, 254 00:12:29,583 --> 00:12:31,715 if I find out you're looking at other agents, 255 00:12:31,752 --> 00:12:34,118 I will sue you for all you're worth. 256 00:12:34,121 --> 00:12:36,687 This is a great party, by the way. Hey, did you know 257 00:12:36,757 --> 00:12:38,923 - that the mayor's here? - Travis? 258 00:12:40,290 --> 00:12:41,960 Butterfly effect. 259 00:12:41,962 --> 00:12:43,995 ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ 260 00:12:44,130 --> 00:12:47,198 ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ 261 00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:49,868 ♪ Happy birthday ♪ 262 00:12:50,003 --> 00:12:52,270 To the best damn writer in history! 263 00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:54,672 Eat your heart out, Clark Twain! 264 00:12:54,674 --> 00:12:57,809 ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ 265 00:12:59,946 --> 00:13:01,946 Ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen! 266 00:13:02,081 --> 00:13:05,617 I should like to propose a toast to my one and only son. 267 00:13:05,752 --> 00:13:08,386 There comes a time in every parent's life 268 00:13:08,388 --> 00:13:11,956 when their child must pull away and focus on his own life 269 00:13:12,091 --> 00:13:15,627 and his own career. It can be humbling, 270 00:13:15,762 --> 00:13:18,963 it can be very sad, or so I've heard, 271 00:13:19,098 --> 00:13:21,966 because Andy and I have never been closer. 272 00:13:22,101 --> 00:13:27,037 You are my best friend. I love you, son. And... 273 00:13:27,173 --> 00:13:29,106 to quote a great author... 274 00:13:29,242 --> 00:13:31,175 "As the husks dry 275 00:13:31,178 --> 00:13:34,178 "and the seeds are scattered by the wind, 276 00:13:35,482 --> 00:13:38,048 "another harvest gives way to the winter. 277 00:13:39,425 --> 00:13:41,185 "But take comfort, friends, 278 00:13:41,321 --> 00:13:43,387 for spring is coming." 279 00:13:43,523 --> 00:13:47,458 "The turning of the Earth is all." 280 00:13:47,594 --> 00:13:50,895 - To Andy! - Did I write that? 281 00:13:50,931 --> 00:13:53,831 - It's beautiful. - And now, ladies and gentlemen, 282 00:13:53,967 --> 00:13:56,334 we have a rather large carrot cake here, 283 00:13:56,469 --> 00:13:59,670 the best cake in the world. Much better than chocolate! 284 00:13:59,805 --> 00:14:01,739 Hey, birthday boy! Let's get the party started 285 00:14:01,741 --> 00:14:03,775 if you know what I mean. 286 00:14:19,492 --> 00:14:22,093 Here you are. 287 00:14:26,032 --> 00:14:28,900 - Oh! Gee! Oh! God! - Hey there, Andy. 288 00:14:28,902 --> 00:14:31,169 How's it going? You... You looking for someone else? 289 00:14:31,304 --> 00:14:34,072 - Yeah. I was just... coming out to see this woman that I... - Oh, yeah, yeah. 290 00:14:34,074 --> 00:14:38,376 - The woman who isn't your wife? - It's not like I was gonna hook up with her. 291 00:14:38,511 --> 00:14:41,045 Oh, come on! Yes, you were! I'm an angel! 292 00:14:41,114 --> 00:14:43,982 I know what you were gonna do. So how's the party going? 293 00:14:44,117 --> 00:14:47,852 - Um? Having a good time, Andy? - Honestly, it is like the best night of my life. 294 00:14:47,987 --> 00:14:50,821 - It's incredible! - Oh, it is? Yeah, what's been your favorite part so far? 295 00:14:50,957 --> 00:14:53,758 Is it almost cheating on your wife? Or maybe hanging out with all those fake friends 296 00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:55,727 who only like you for your fame and your money? 297 00:14:55,862 --> 00:14:58,262 OK, sure. Fine. Maybe it's not the best behaviour, 298 00:14:58,265 --> 00:15:01,399 but did you see my other life? I mean, that's a requirement... 299 00:15:01,534 --> 00:15:03,801 Man, listen to yourself! You wished your brother 300 00:15:03,937 --> 00:15:06,537 - out of existence! - Alright, fine! 301 00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:10,040 It's not like I killed him, OK? Just... He never existed. 302 00:15:10,176 --> 00:15:12,910 I mean, you could argue that this is just an extension of Kant's categorical imperative. 303 00:15:12,946 --> 00:15:15,980 You know what I mean? Like, if you actually think about it... 304 00:15:16,115 --> 00:15:18,049 - Shut the f... up! Shut up! - What? 305 00:15:18,118 --> 00:15:20,084 Shut your fu... mouth right now. 306 00:15:20,219 --> 00:15:22,019 An angel can swear? You're an angel! 307 00:15:22,154 --> 00:15:24,322 An angel can do whatever the f... he wants always! 308 00:15:24,391 --> 00:15:26,724 I could kick your dick across the moon, man. 309 00:15:26,860 --> 00:15:29,827 - I'm an angel! I do whatever I want! - Fine, you can swear! OK! 310 00:15:29,829 --> 00:15:31,433 - Congrats! - And what I want 311 00:15:31,465 --> 00:15:34,517 is to teach you a lesson about how much 312 00:15:34,568 --> 00:15:37,501 you love your brother deep down and somehow, 313 00:15:37,637 --> 00:15:39,670 with all my power, I haven't managed 314 00:15:39,739 --> 00:15:42,707 to get that through your thick, thick skull. Pig! 315 00:15:42,709 --> 00:15:45,510 So, too bad, so sad. We're going back. 316 00:15:45,645 --> 00:15:47,145 - No! - Man, tbh, 317 00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:49,647 I haven't had a lesson go this south on me since Dahmer. 318 00:15:49,782 --> 00:15:52,049 You give a guy one taste of human flesh just to show him 319 00:15:52,185 --> 00:15:54,285 - how bad it is... - I am not going back, OK? 320 00:15:54,420 --> 00:15:57,714 Why would I let you stay here? So you can have sex 321 00:15:57,791 --> 00:15:59,120 with everything that mo... 322 00:16:03,180 --> 00:16:05,763 You're choking. 323 00:16:05,898 --> 00:16:07,103 Angels can choke? 324 00:16:17,527 --> 00:16:18,542 Oh, s... 325 00:16:23,327 --> 00:16:26,685 OK. OK, technically, I didn't kill him. 326 00:16:26,686 --> 00:16:28,450 Just let him die. 327 00:16:29,389 --> 00:16:32,290 - Mr. Tennesen! - It was an accident! It was an accident! 328 00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:40,150 Happy birthday! 329 00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:43,500 Hope I'm not too late for the party? 330 00:16:43,502 --> 00:16:46,170 - You're here for the party? - Yeah. Oh! 331 00:16:46,305 --> 00:16:49,872 Oh, sorry about the cherries. I mean, they just help me get places fast. 332 00:16:49,907 --> 00:16:52,443 - Uh... Come on in! - Alright, alright. 333 00:16:53,671 --> 00:16:55,113 Hold on a minute. 334 00:16:57,397 --> 00:17:00,017 I'll get you your birthday gift. Ha! Ha! You hold right there! 335 00:17:00,020 --> 00:17:01,886 I'll turn these cherries off, get them out of your face. 336 00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:03,241 Ho! Ho! Ho! 337 00:17:12,599 --> 00:17:14,632 - It's a shovel! - Yeah... 338 00:17:14,767 --> 00:17:17,468 I mean, now you never know when something like this is gonna come in handy, right? 339 00:17:17,603 --> 00:17:20,071 - It's perfect. - I keep one in my trunk all the time. 340 00:17:20,140 --> 00:17:22,309 Now... Looks to me like you got yourself a big trunk right there, 341 00:17:22,343 --> 00:17:23,931 - so why don't you just put it... - That's alright. 342 00:17:24,523 --> 00:17:25,732 - I mean, you could just put it... - Please. 343 00:17:26,456 --> 00:17:29,447 - I'll just... Why don't we ju... - You know, I'll... I'll... I'll just... 344 00:17:29,582 --> 00:17:31,569 - I'll just put it in, it's OK. - OK! 345 00:17:34,894 --> 00:17:36,254 That's a dead body in your trunk! 346 00:17:36,256 --> 00:17:38,271 It's not real. It's... uh... 347 00:17:40,093 --> 00:17:42,226 I'm sorry! I couldn't come up with a plausible excuse. 348 00:17:42,361 --> 00:17:45,629 Oh, God! I'm sorry! 349 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:48,833 Hey, buddy, what's up? 350 00:17:48,968 --> 00:17:51,599 Ruth! Ruth! You gotta help me! The police are after me 351 00:17:51,634 --> 00:17:53,237 and there's a dead body in my trunk. 352 00:17:53,239 --> 00:17:55,706 OK, woah, woah, woah. Here's what you need to do. 353 00:17:55,708 --> 00:17:57,775 Hang up and delete my number. 354 00:17:57,910 --> 00:17:59,977 - See you! - Hello? Ruth? 355 00:18:00,013 --> 00:18:02,513 Damn it! Oh, my God! 356 00:18:02,515 --> 00:18:05,382 I wish I'd never jumped in front of that stupid car! 357 00:18:06,309 --> 00:18:08,920 That's it. The car! 358 00:18:10,243 --> 00:18:12,857 I wish I was back home! 359 00:18:23,002 --> 00:18:26,270 - Angel? - No. 360 00:18:26,272 --> 00:18:28,806 You're under arrest for murder, Andrew Tennesen. 361 00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:32,609 - Say goodbye to your perfect life. - What? No, no, I don't know. 362 00:18:32,645 --> 00:18:36,547 It wasn't me. It was an angel. None of this is me! Aaaah! 363 00:18:38,123 --> 00:18:39,852 _ 364 00:18:39,873 --> 00:18:41,879 You're OK, son. Just keep going. 365 00:18:41,922 --> 00:18:44,621 Take it easy out there, Mr. Tennesen. 366 00:18:44,657 --> 00:18:46,557 And happy birthday! 367 00:19:07,046 --> 00:19:09,046 This is where it all went wrong. 368 00:19:10,938 --> 00:19:13,050 I never should've made that stupid wish. 369 00:19:14,226 --> 00:19:16,520 So you finally learned your lesson, huh? 370 00:19:16,655 --> 00:19:19,157 - Only took you fifteen years. - You... 371 00:19:19,292 --> 00:19:22,126 - Yeah, hey, man. - But I... I watched you die. 372 00:19:22,128 --> 00:19:23,755 Well, angels can't die, you know. 373 00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:26,063 Certainly not from choking on cake. 374 00:19:26,132 --> 00:19:28,065 I could breathe cake if I wanted to. 375 00:19:28,134 --> 00:19:31,145 Don't want to, but could. Guess your life with Mark 376 00:19:31,238 --> 00:19:34,305 seems pretty cool now, huh? You know, I tried to teach you 377 00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:37,608 all of this in a day, but... I guess some people need fifteen years 378 00:19:37,743 --> 00:19:39,710 - behind bars before... - I'm gonna kill you! 379 00:19:39,845 --> 00:19:43,414 - Oh! Oh... - Oh, there he is! 380 00:19:43,483 --> 00:19:47,017 - Andy's back in the room! - Oh... Dad? 381 00:19:47,153 --> 00:19:50,955 - Ruth? - Bryn. 382 00:19:51,090 --> 00:19:53,824 Ah, Bryn! Bryn! 383 00:19:55,097 --> 00:19:57,328 I'm young again. I'm young again! 384 00:19:57,988 --> 00:19:59,564 I wouldn't say young. 385 00:20:01,766 --> 00:20:03,200 Mark! It's you! 386 00:20:03,236 --> 00:20:06,103 I'm so, so sorry for all those terrible things I said to... 387 00:20:06,239 --> 00:20:07,972 Get your hands off of me, man. 388 00:20:08,107 --> 00:20:11,108 - It's a miracle! - Yeah, it's a miracle 389 00:20:11,177 --> 00:20:13,310 your brother didn't die when you pushed him 390 00:20:13,446 --> 00:20:15,680 - in front of that car. - Yeah, but then I pushed him 391 00:20:15,682 --> 00:20:18,182 out of the way of the car. Not that that makes me a hero. 392 00:20:18,317 --> 00:20:21,118 It doesn't. No one said that. 393 00:20:21,254 --> 00:20:23,320 The important thing is you didn't kill your brother, 394 00:20:23,456 --> 00:20:27,892 - even though you sort of tried. - I'm sorry. I really am sorry. 395 00:20:27,894 --> 00:20:30,124 You stay here and think about it. 396 00:20:30,197 --> 00:20:33,731 Meanwhile, let's take Markie for some lovely ice cream. 397 00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:36,934 - OK. I earned it by being good. - Mark! Mark! Mark! 398 00:20:37,069 --> 00:20:40,671 - What? - I really am sorry. 399 00:20:43,881 --> 00:20:44,942 Are you? 400 00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:46,877 Yeah. 401 00:20:48,896 --> 00:20:50,715 Alright. Bring it in. 402 00:20:52,751 --> 00:20:55,686 Oh! What the hell was that doing back there? 403 00:20:57,496 --> 00:20:58,689 OK. 404 00:20:58,824 --> 00:21:00,857 - Let's go get that ice cream. - Eh boy! 405 00:21:00,893 --> 00:21:02,893 - See you later, Andy! - Have fun. 406 00:21:03,029 --> 00:21:05,296 - What favor you getting, Bryn? - Plain. 407 00:21:32,791 --> 00:21:34,791 - synced and corrected by sot26 - www.addic7ed.com 33265

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