All language subtitles for desperate.housewives.s03e09.dvdrip.xvid-wat

[Mary Alice] Previously on
Desperate Housewives:

- Wisteria Lane's new hero...
- [gunshot]

- Hello?
- Superhero houses are great!

... turned out to be anything but.

Orson's mother took up residence.

I've decided to accept
your wife's kind invitation.

- You wouldn't.
- Mike couldn't remember...

No memory?
That's convenient.

... anything at all.

- Here's our search warrant.
- We couldn't find the toolbox.

You might want to wash that wrench off.

It's got something on it.

[Ian] Yes.

I'm just saying that we never
spend the night at your house.

Yes, but your place
is so warm and cozy.

It's also a disaster area. I didn't get
a chance to clean it today. Whoops.

Oh, here. Let me.

[Mary Alice] Susan Mayer had
never thought of herself as Cinderella,

but then one day...
a prince showed up...

Well, we can't have you
sleeping in squalor, can we?

My place it is.

... and Susan realized
her life had become a fairy tale.

And since her prince
had welcomed her into his castle,

she felt the least she could do
was thank him.

Again... and again... and again.

The next morning, however,
Susan discovered castles...

- [man clears throat]
- [water runs]

... don't run themselves.

[clears throat again]

[sighs then giggles] All right.

But let's make it a quickie
because you are wasting water.

[gasps then screams]

Sorry. I didn't mean to startle you.

- Uh... who are you?
- I'm Rupert.

I work for Mr. Hainsworth.

That would be the man you slept with,
in case names weren't exchanged.

- [water shuts off]
- No. I'm your boss's girlfriend.

Surely, he mentioned me.

- Not that I recollect.
- [door opens, closes]

Rupert.

- Good morning, boss.
- I thought you were off today.

Isn't your sister in town?

That's next weekend, sir.

Oh.

It's a good thing too.

Otherwise, I might not have had
the pleasure of meeting your girlfriend.

Susan.

Yes. We met at the hospital.

- Why don't I fetch you a robe?
- Loving that idea.

Would you care for some breakfast?
Omelet, strawberry tart, brioche?

Oh, wow!

Yeah. That sounds great. You pick.

[Mary Alice] Yes, Susan's life
had indeed become a fairy tale.

You are aware there
is a Mrs. Hainsworth?

Well, of course.

- And what's a fairy tale...
- Tart it is.

... without a dragon to slay?

[Mary Alice] We know
dangerous men walk among us.

What we can't be sure of
is who they are or where they hide.

So the most we can offer any stranger
is reasonable doubt.

But once the doubt is gone,
people are anything but reasonable.

I am telling you,
our neighbor is a pedophile,

and I expect you
to do something about it.

Ms. Scavo, he's not listed
on any sex offender registry.

He's never had a traffic ticket.

He's a single man
with a basement full of toys!

I understand your concern, but we can't
book a guy on possession of toys.

You don't get it. His house had
this creepy vibe. Tell him, Tom.

- I never went down to the actual room.
- He doesn't know.

Look, he had a wall full of pictures

of half-naked boys in swimsuits.

Didn't you say he was a swim coach?

What are you, his lawyer?

- You have to admit, it's odd.
- Here's what's odd.

If your neighbor had something to hide,

why'd he invite you in
to see all of his stuff?

[giggles]

He wasn't technically home
when I went inside.

- So you broke in?
- The door was open.

I was bringing him a cake.

- A cake?
- It was a thank-you cake.

He sort of saved my life.

She didn't know he was
a pedophile when she baked it.

- He doesn't care.
- Why snap at me?

- I'm not.
- You snapped.

I am snapping because there
is a monster across the street,

and Barney Fife here's
making me sound like the bad guy!

I'm sorry. She's been under
a lot of stress, hasn't slept well.

[Lynette] You better not
be apologizing for me!

Gotta go.

So I've got some fabulous news.

Well, I hope it's more fabulous
than this dress.

I look like something
Ike Turner would hit.

You're gonna have to find yourself
another personal shopper.

I slam one dress, and you quit on me?

No, that's my news.

I'm leaving the store
and starting my own business.

"Beauty by Vern."
You're opening up a salon?

God, could you get any gayer?

It's a consulting firm
for beauty pageant contestants.

And the answer's yes.

This week I'm coaching girls
for the Miss Snowflake Pageant.

It's very rewarding.
Hey, you know what might be fun?

If you come and give a talk.
Give the kids some pointers.

Vern. I worked the catwalks
in Milan and Paris.

I'm not gonna give makeup tips
to little Miss Training Bra.

You have been in rare bitch form.

It's been months,
so don't blame it on your cycle.

Don't call me a bitch.

And stop tracking my cycle.
I told you, that freaks me out.

I'm just saying,
you've been very cranky today.

What's going on?

The divorce decree came through today.

Carlos is officially out of my life.

Oh, honey...

The girls' ages range eight to 12.

We meet every Thursday
in the rec room of the Elks Lodge.

- I'm not doing it.
- You need a project.

That's your problem, you're bored.
And you know what the cure for that is?

Helping others.

Fine. I'll do it.

- But I want this dress for free.
- Evil. You said you hated it.

And I hate helping others too,
but I'm doing that, aren't I?

Is the coast clear?
I don't want to flash the help again.

Relax. He's making breakfast.

You're more than welcome
to flash me.

[chuckles]

- How long has Rupert worked for you?
- Oh, for years.

He's practically family.

So you're that close,
and you never told him about me?

Yes, about that...

Rupert was incredibly devoted to Jane.

He's never seen me with another woman,
let alone a frisky, naked one.

That explains why he was
a little cold to me this morning.

- Was he? I'll have a talk with him.
- Oh, no. Don't do that.

That'll just make it worse.
I get it. He loved Jane.

He doesn't know me.
You know, I'll just have to charm him.

Warm him up a little.

Well, I'm sure you'll find a way.

Great, 9:00 in the morning and I have to
put on a slinky black cocktail dress.

Hey, here's an idea.

You keep some things
in a drawer at my house.

Would it be OK if I had one here?

A drawer?
Do you think we'll be here that often?

Your shower has six power nozzles.
With or without you, I'll be back.

Well, then, by all means,
let's get you a drawer.

I don't need much.
One of those will do.

Actually, that's not a good idea.
Rupert arranges things meticulously.

You'll never win him over
if you mess with his system. Rupert?

Wow. Your timing's perfect.

Not always.

- Susan will be needing a drawer.
- A drawer, sir?

Yes. For her things.

She's going to be
spending more time here.

Yeah, Rupe.
I hope we can be good friends,

'cause you're gonna be seeing
lots more of me.

Oh, madam, that hardly seems possible.

Mother Hodge, your food will get cold.

Why, please, is there a lock
on the liquor cabinet?

Your doctor says people
taking your medication shouldn't drink,

a warning you've chosen to ignore

if the lipstick on the vodka bottle
is any indication.

Poached fish again?
I don't want this.

I want what you're all having.

Well, your doctor has you
on a low fat, low sodium diet.

Eight meals this week, eight times
I've told you the same thing.

- So who would like to say grace?
- Allow me.

Lord, I thank you for this bland,
indifferently prepared meal,

and beseech you to ignite
some spark of compassion

in my cold-hearted daughter-in-law,

that she might show some shred
of mercy to me, her wretched captive.

Amen.

Mother, may I remind you,
you asked to come here.

I didn't know
I'd be trading one jail for another.

At least at the home you could bribe
the orderlies to smuggle things in.

But here, nothing
gets past the commandant.

I have done everything I can
to make you happy and comfortable.

- What do you want from us?
- I want my freedom.

I want out of this perky little gulag

and into a house I can call my own.

And you're going to buy it for me.

I can't afford to buy you a house.

You can't afford not to.

I know a house won't be easy to swing,

but how many more of these Edward Albee
dinners do you want to sit through?

What did she mean by "you can't
afford not to"? Was she threatening you?

Yes, she's threatening
to make us miserable till we cave.

Look, at least see if Edie
has any cheap listings.

We'll all be happier.

She'll take terrible care of herself
and be dead in a year.

You just stole my next argument.

OK, you've got enough money

to pay either the phone
or the cable bill, but not both.

Hello? Mike?

I'm trying to help you here.

Oh, I'm sorry.
Do whatever you want.

Fine. Cable it is.

Nobody calls you, anyway.

[door opens then shuts]

What do you want?

My toilet's clogged.
I thought maybe you could fix it.

Oh, wait. You can't, can you?
Because you don't have any tools.

Must be tough
being a plumber without tools.

Why don't you people
leave me the hell alone?

Jeez. You sure are hostile for a guy who
makes his living in a service industry.

[car engine starts]

It just occurred to me,
there's no point paying the cable bill

if you're not gonna have electricity.

So... I'm thinking,
pay the electricity up front

and send a check
to the phone company...

Where have you been?
They're all waiting.

I'm here to teach fashion.
I'm fashionably late.

These mothers
have refinanced their trailers

in order to pay for this, so when you
make your entrance, sparkle.

[Vern] In addition to
three Vogue covers,

she was the face of La Roque Cosmetics.

- Please welcome Miss Gabrielle Marquez!
- [hip hop music playing]

Vern? A moment.

Is there a problem?

Yes! What am I supposed
to do with that petting zoo?

Not everyone wins
the genetic lottery like you.

These girls need help finding
the promised land of beauty and style.

Please, Gabrielle.
Be their Moses.

[sighs]

Good comparison
because it's gonna take a miracle

to turn these mutts
into show dogs.

Hey, girls. Let's talk beauty.

[knocking]

What's up, brother?

I'm sorry. You are...?

Carlos, from down the street.

We were only best friends, dude.

Well, things have been a little fuzzy
since the accident.

I'm sorry that I hadn't come by sooner,

but my divorce has been kicking my ass.

- Sorry to hear that.
- Anyway, I got a new condo,

but it's getting renovated.

So I was thinking,
maybe I could crash here?

- Here?
- Yeah.

I could help you out
around the house.

Free you up to focus on job one,
getting better.

Because you're tossing it
to Edie now, right?

That's a real relationship killer,

needing your lady
to hoist you off the can.

- How long we talking?
- Couple months.

Three at the most.

And of course, I can kick in
for half the utilities and rent.

Well, how can I say no
to my best friend?

- Can you do a kick-flip?
- What are the Blake kids

doing all the way over here?

Pam needs to keep a closer eye on them.

Will you please
come away from that window?

You barely slept last night.
Come on, take a nap.

I'm fine. I'm fine.

Whoa.

Hold on.

[door opens, then closes]

Hey. What's up?

I've been meaning to get this
back to you. And to thank you.

Rebecca and I really
enjoyed the cake.

Oh, good.

So... bye.

So, what'd you think of our place?

Sorry?

I heard you were good friends
with the Young family.

It must've been weird being in there
with all the new furniture.

- I didn't notice.
- Well, how about the kitchen?

Rebecca likes the color,
but I'm not so sure.

Oh, sorry.
Never made it past the living room.

What? Come on.

You're in an empty house, curious about
your new neighbors, you look around.

- We all do it.
- Well, I don't.

Well, next time you're over
I'll have to give you the tour.

- Great.
- Mr. Protector Man!

Hey, hey. Not now, Parker.

I just wanted to see
if I can play his pinball machine again!

I guess there's no need for that tour.

Girls, first things first.
If you can't walk, you can't win.

- Hit it, Vern.
- [music plays]

Remember, eyes forward,
shoulders back, hips square.

Look left, look right, whip and walk.

Yes, I'm unbelievable.
Close your mouths.

- OK, stop, stop.
- What?

My eyes were forward,
my hips were square.

But where's your confidence,
where's your pride?

Come on.
What do I have to be proud of?

Have you guys ever seen a runway model
without the hot clothes and makeup?

Well, trust me,
they're not that special.

But the one thing
that they do have is attitude.

You have to believe in yourself.

And if not,
pretend to believe in yourself, OK?

All right.

Now I want you to pretend
you're on the runway.

Flashbulbs are popping.

Everyone's looking at you, envying you,

and they're all thinking the same thing:

Isabel Horowitz is smoking hot!

Go, Isabel! Go!

You're doing it, Isabel,
you're doing it!

That's it! Keep going!

I was walking!

You were totally walking!
Good job!

All right, Donna, you're next.

Get up there
and make me hate your beauty.

Now, this place
is a real diamond in the rough.

A cozy little two-bedroom plus den
with a highly-motivated seller.

Oh, look, a highly motivated cockroach.

- Oh!
- [stomps]

Let's try to be positive, people.

It's a fabulous location,

just walking distance
to all sorts of fun shops.

Right, from here I can see
a bail bondsman and an adult bookshop.

What do you expect
in your price range, Tara?

Let's go. Thank you.

Wait.

I'm not an impractical woman.

I know that my son's resources are,

like his achievements, rather limited.

I want to see the rest of it.

OK.

Now the lighting in the kitchen
is a bit harsh. The previous owner...

Well, let's just say he ran some sort
of home-based medical business.

You cannot let her move
into this neighborhood.

It's filled with junkies and whores!

We'll owe them an apology.
Who cares? She likes it.

Of course. There's a 24-hour
liquor store across the street.

She wants a house.
This is the best we can afford.

What if something
should happen to her?

Stop worrying about her!
Worry about us.

You realize how much
we've fought since she came?

She's ruined every relationship
that's mattered,

and she's doing it again!

- [scream, then thud]
- [Edie] Oh, my God!

- Are you all right?
- Mother!

Just a little spill.
Her cane hit a loose tile.

- Is anything broken?
- Well, obviously the damn floor!

We'll need that fixed.

Are you insane?
She obviously can't be on her own.

- It's a loose tile.
- I'm perfectly fine.

And what if you weren't?

What if she'd broken something
and was lying here for hours?

- You are coming home with us.
- Bree.

And I will not hear another word
on the subject.

- I can't believe you bought us pizza.
- Well, you guys earned it.

But eat fast because we
only have one hour left,

and I want to introduce you
to your new best friend, Mr. Spray Tan.

You know so much cool stuff.
Can't you come back another day?

Oh, I don't know.

- Please!
- You have to!

Well, let me check my book.
I might have to move some stuff around,

- but I think I can swing it.
- Your life must be so exciting, huh?

Yeah. Every day's a parade.

So, what was it like
being a famous model?

Honestly, it was like any other job,
except the pay was great,

the clothes were couture,

and the parties were just
this side of Gomorrah.

You don't know
what Gomorrah means, do you?

Good.

Did you know Kate Moss?

- I invited her to a party once.
- Did you eat pizza with her?

If you did, it's almost like
we ate pizza with her.

Honey, most models don't eat pizza.

At least not without
having a finger for dessert.

- Gross!
- Gross!

I know, I never did that.

You would not believe the horrible
things they did to stay skinny.

Like what?

Well, some would smoke
those unfiltered French cigarettes.

But cigarettes can kill you.

But before they do,
they kill your appetite.

One time, there was a girl who took
too many laxatives and...

If you're ever at the Chateau Milan,
in room 238, do not use the Jacuzzi.

Do you have to be skinny to be a model?

Well, yeah. When's the last time you saw
a fat person on a magazine cover?

I'm gonna talk to Vern
about our next session.

You guys finish lunch,
so we can get back to work.

[humming]

Hi, Rupert.
I went to the mall

and bought a change of clothes
for the weekend,

and while I was there
I got something for you.

I thought you could wear it
on your day off.

- Do you like it?
- Very much.

It'll come in handy, should
my nationality ever slip my mind.

That's good. You!

I wanna party with you.

Hey, I was thinking this afternoon
maybe we could go look for that drawer.

Sorry, ma'am, I'm afraid
I have all this silver to polish.

Well, let me help you and we can talk.

There is so much
I want to know about you.

Who is Rupert Cavanaugh?
What makes him tick?

Ha!

Tell you what.

Let's go find you that drawer.

Isn't the master bedroom
down that way?

I realize it's a bit of a jaunt,

but I managed to find you
an entire bureau.

Oh, OK.
Well.

You certainly didn't have
to go to all that... trouble.

Is there a problem?

No. I just...

Well, all I really needed
was just a little, little drawer,

and this is so far away and...

- What is that smell?
- Oh, yes, about that.

The cat passed away
in this room.

Did you consider removing the body?

Well, if this isn't acceptable,
I can look elsewhere for a drawer,

when I have the time.

Why do you have to be this way?

And what way is that?

Listen, I know how you feel about Jane.

But if you could just
give me a chance.

Come on, you can't possibly
hate me this much. Can you?

- I'm done.
- Oh, fine. Fine, fine, fine.

I don't need you to like me.

But I think you should
give me just a little respect.

- I am Ian's girlfriend.
- He's still married.

At best, you're his... mistress.

OK. You are not allowed
to call me that.

Fine. What term would you prefer?

Concubine? Consort?
Gold-digging whore?

- Ow!
- Oh, I'm so sorry.

I shouldn't have done that.

But, Rupert, you have to admit,
it's just a drawer.

Those drawers are filled
with Jane's things.

This is her house.

You are a guest in her house,
and a temporary one at best.

OK, you know, that is for Ian to decide.

Oh, he has decided.

Why do you think he
never told me about you?

Why did he wait so long
to bring you here?

He didn't want you in that room...

...where he still keeps Jane's things

exactly as she left them.

But I'll keep looking for that drawer.

[man speaking on TV]

- Hey, I'm going over to Mike's.
- I thought you were gonna mow the lawn.

It's just that I promised
I'd help him install a shower bar.

- And... it could take a while.
- OK.

[game on TV]

- T-Rex. How're they hanging, brother?
- Low and lazy. Yeah.

Hey, if Lynette asks?
I installed your shower bar today.

- Got it.
- Mmm.

- Vern, what are you doing here?
- We need to talk.

About the girls' makeup?
I got them each their own makeup kit,

custom-tailored
to match their skin tone.

And I got Melina some wax.
I know she's only 11,

but those Greek genes are gonna
kick in any day now.

- What?
- This morning Mrs. Hayes caught Donna

with her finger down her throat
trying to barf up her toaster waffle.

- Really?
- Mrs. Horowitz found

Isabel behind their garage smoking.

She thought cigarettes
would help her lose a few pounds.

Where do you think she got that idea?

- Those damn tobacco companies.
- Gabby!

Oh, fine, I may have told
a few stories about the old days,

but as a warning. I didn't say
anything inappropriate for kids.

Cassie Warren asked her mother
if she could throw a Gomorrah party.

OK, look, we have to do
damage control. I get it.

- Next session, I'll apologize.
- Uh-uh.

There's not gonna be
a next session for you.

The moms don't want you
anywhere near their daughters.

But I'm helping them!
They love me!

Wait, please, Vern, you have
to give me a chance to fix this!

It's too late, Gabby.
You are now officially a bad influence.

Well, see you at spin class.

[cartoon on TV]

[man on TV] All right,
turn out the lights.

They called the race
on account of darkness.

Mom said we couldn't leave.

I'm just going out front.

[cheering on TV]

What the hell is that?

Stop running the ball!

Can I ask you guys something?

What was I like before the accident?

- What do you mean?
- I mean, what kind of guy was I?

Was I happy, was I angry?

Did I ever get violent?

[scoffs] You were fine.

[whistle blows on TV]

- [TV off]
- Look, I'm serious.

I really need to know.

You can be honest.
You're my best friend.

[sighs] Honestly?

You were sort of mysterious.
Kept to yourself.

Nobody really knew you all that well.

[Tom] Yeah.

And this is coming
from your best friend.

[TV on]

Yeah, yeah, yeah! Yes!

[cartoon still on TV]

I'm sorry, guys. I just...

I guess I was really tired.

- Uh... where's your brother?
- He went outside.

Yeah.

Well...

OK. Watch her, watch her.
I'll be back. I'll be right back.

[Lynette pounding on door] Hello!
Open up, open the door!

Lynette, what's the matter?

- I want my son.
- He's not here.

He's not in our house,
he's not in our yard.

Do not jerk me around. Parker!

You can't just barge into my house
like this, Lynette.

Don't play dumb with me.
I know exactly what is down here!

Where's the pinball? All the games?

That was a collection I was taking up
for the children's hospital.

I delivered everything yesterday.

Did you donate the photos too?

[Lynette] Parker!

What exactly is it
you're accusing me of?

Don't pretend you don't know.
I'm calling the police.

- Parker!
- Is there a problem?

You're damn right there's a problem.
I can't find my son.

Isn't that your son?

Hey, hey!

- [panting] Where have you been?
- We were at Mike's.

He wandered over looking for me.
What's going on?

[exhales]

- [phone beeps]
- That was the children's hospital.

Art's story checks out.

He donated all that stuff.

That proves nothing.

He knew I was on to him,
he had to dump it.

Honey, believe me, I am with you.
There is something fishy about this guy,

but you got to get a grip. You can't go
barging into people's homes.

- What if Parker had been in there?
- But he wasn't.

And if you keep accusing this guy
without proof, he can sue us.

Listen, I've been thinking that after
everything that you've been through...

Don't bring up the supermarket again.

That was a traumatic experience.

I think it's affected you
more than you realize.

And maybe you need
to talk to somebody about it.

Like a therapist.

You're right.

I need to talk to someone.

He'd gotten rid of everything.

The toys, the pictures,
everything was gone.

Oh.

- You can't sit on this, Lynette.
- I know.

If something happened to someone's kid
because I kept my mouth shut...

The thing is,
I promised Tom I'd back off.

Well, I didn't.

[sighs]

Jane has some beautiful things.

Yes, she's always had impeccable taste.

I know how it must seem to you,
my holding on to them.

But I just couldn't bring myself to...

I get it.

As much as I have tried to pretend
that it's just you and me,

there's three of us
in this relationship.

- Susan, you know I adore you.
- No, please listen.

The last couple of months,

I thought we've gotten really close,
and I've been loving that.

I just feel like, lately,

there's this limit
to how far you'll let me in.

Well, I'm trying.

It's just the more I let you
into my heart,

the more I feel
I'm pushing Jane out, and...

You don't have to push Jane out
to let me in.

Of course, you're right.

- Do you know what I think?
- No.

That kind of compassionate wisdom
deserves an obscenely expensive meal.

- Mmm.
- [both chuckle]

OK, well, give me a minute,
and I will change into something nice.

Rupert still hasn't found you a drawer?

No, not just yet.

Well, in that case...

Ian, you don't have to do that.

If I can make room in my heart
for both of you,

I can certainly make room in my bureau.

It's just not right.
Your mother skipped lunch too.

She said she wasn't hungry.
Can't we just revel in her absence?

I know she's a handful,
but she deserves some compassion.

The woman watched
a dream die yesterday.

We all did.

- I'm taking her dinner up.
- Oh, it's OK. I'll do it.

No, no, I'd rather do it myself.
I want to talk to her.

Oh, well,
I'll let her know you're coming.

- Mom's coming. Ditch the wine.
- Very well.

You finished the whole bottle already?

- I was thirsty.
- Gloria, I've been thinking and...

Does no one in this house
ever bother to knock?

Is that alcohol?

Where did you get that?

Andrew!

When my grandma asks me a favor,
with tears in her eyes, how can...?

Oh, shut up, you little extortionist.

He charged me 20 bucks,
plus five for the corkscrew!

- I'll deal with you later.
- You can kiss that codeine goodbye.

- Andrew brought her wine.
- Oh, for God's sake.

This is our house.

If you expect to stay here, you're going
to learn to obey a few rules.

- I don't obey rules. I make them!
- Not anymore, Mother.

Just watch yourself, sonny boy!

OK, look. I know you're upset,
but don't blame Orson.

- It's not his fault.
- It's all his fault!

You think he's so wonderful.

You don't know the half
of what he's done.

Let's go. I can't deal with her
when she's like this.

He doesn't want you to hear the truth.
How he cheated on Alma!

- What?
- She's drunk!

How he broke her heart, and mine!

All for his precious Monique!

You shut up, Mother!

Monique Polier? I thought
that was Harvey Bigsby's mistress.

Oh, she got around, that girl!

See, I told you.
I told you she would do this!

There he was, cheating on Alma,
not knowing all the time

his whore was cheating on him.

Stop it!
You shut your evil mouth!

Or what?

What are you gonna do to me
that hasn't already been done?

Bree... Bree. Bree, no.

Bree, wait! Bree!

[car engine starts]

[girl]... had the cutest outfit today!

[girl 2] I know. I saw it.
It was so adorable.

- [girl 1] The skirt...
- [girl 2] I know.

- Miss Gabrielle!
- Gabrielle!

What is she doing here?

I have no idea.
I told her she was banned.

OK, just give me a minute.

I'm sorry about
what I said to the girls.

- And it won't happen again.
- Damn right.

You're not going anywhere
near our girls.

- Can't you give me a second chance?
- Why should we?

Yeah, I mean, you walk in here
all clickety-clack,

perfect little miss size zero,
thinking you're all better than us.

We all saw the look on your face
when you showed up.

I don't think I'm better than you.
Hell, I envy you.

- Please.
- No, it's true.

You have husbands and families
and a reason to wake up in the morning.

What do I have? Him!

Teaching your kids
about confidence and beauty

is the most useful thing
I've done since... I don't know when.

And as much as I've helped them,

they've helped me so much more.

So please, I need this.

And I promise, no more talk
about dodgy weight loss methods.

Like the highly-effective
non-FDA-approved diet pill

I can get from my friends in Zurich...

...in bulk.

Well, I suppose the Christian thing
would be to forgive her.

Well, why don't you ladies talk it over

and I'm gonna work on posture
with the girls.

- Yeah! Come on.
- Come on, you guys, let's go!

Yes!

Oh, thank God.

I've been driving around all night,
looking for you.

We saw that woman at the morgue

on our wedding night.

- You pretended not to know her.
- Bree, I can explain.

No. I'm done.

You don't understand what happened.

There were two women
in your life before me.

One vanished, the other was killed.
That's all I need to understand.

I've packed some of your things.

I want you out of the house.

Now.

Bree... please.

I love you.

I know.

But it scares the hell out of me.

[Mary Alice] Dangerous men
walk among us.

And we can't always be sure of who
they are or what secrets they hide.

But once our worst suspicions
are confirmed,

we can take action.

Once their agendas are revealed,

we can take steps to protect ourselves

and those we love.

Yes, dangerous men
can cause great harm.

But sometimes
the greatest danger they pose...

I'll take those.

... is to themselves.