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1
00:00:00,956 --> 00:00:04,423
[ cheers and applause ]
2
00:00:04,425 --> 00:00:06,692
Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah!
Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi!
3
00:00:06,828 --> 00:00:10,830
I'm trish. This is my
partner-in-crime suze.
4
00:00:10,832 --> 00:00:13,098
Hyuh! And I'm suze!
5
00:00:13,100 --> 00:00:15,901
And this is
"morning mimosa!"
6
00:00:15,903 --> 00:00:18,237
[ cheers and applause ]
7
00:00:18,373 --> 00:00:21,040
We've got a hell of a show
planned for you today.
8
00:00:21,176 --> 00:00:23,109
Mayor garfield
will be on later
9
00:00:23,244 --> 00:00:25,779
For a game of
suck and blow.
10
00:00:25,913 --> 00:00:27,513
[ audience oohs ]
11
00:00:27,515 --> 00:00:30,049
As well as the world's
youngest blackbelt!
12
00:00:30,185 --> 00:00:32,185
[ audience awws ]
and get this!
13
00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:35,388
She knows all the
state capitals by heart!
14
00:00:35,523 --> 00:00:38,324
What a remarkable
little dork, right?
15
00:00:38,326 --> 00:00:40,393
And lastly,
your favorite and ours,
16
00:00:40,528 --> 00:00:42,528
Todd fox will be
joining us again
17
00:00:42,664 --> 00:00:47,000
With his collection
of exotic animals!
18
00:00:47,134 --> 00:00:49,068
[ audience howling ]
19
00:00:49,204 --> 00:00:50,403
Speaking of...
20
00:00:50,538 --> 00:00:52,005
We want to take a minute
up front
21
00:00:52,140 --> 00:00:54,073
To issue
a public apology.
22
00:00:54,075 --> 00:00:55,008
Uh-oh.
23
00:00:55,143 --> 00:00:57,677
We got a lot of letters
24
00:00:57,679 --> 00:01:00,079
From animal-rights
watchdogs last week,
25
00:01:00,215 --> 00:01:04,017
And suze would like
to say a deep-down sorry
26
00:01:04,151 --> 00:01:06,019
For eating
that rare butterfly.
27
00:01:06,154 --> 00:01:07,620
I thought
it was a hummingbird.
28
00:01:07,755 --> 00:01:10,356
Okay.
On with the show!
29
00:01:10,358 --> 00:01:12,425
Producer charlie,
please pull up the map.
30
00:01:12,560 --> 00:01:15,695
Let's get an early-bird
look at today's...
31
00:01:15,830 --> 00:01:20,966
Trish, suze, and audience:
D! U! I! Checkpoints!
32
00:01:20,968 --> 00:01:22,702
Hi.
Charlie greenfield.
33
00:01:22,704 --> 00:01:25,505
That's you. Not me.
Hayley smith is me.
34
00:01:25,640 --> 00:01:28,041
Intern.
Starting today. Intern?
35
00:01:28,175 --> 00:01:29,975
For my journalism class
at groff.
36
00:01:29,977 --> 00:01:33,312
Listen. We don't really
do journalism here.
37
00:01:33,448 --> 00:01:36,249
News is dark and dreary.
Boo!
38
00:01:36,384 --> 00:01:38,184
No fun first thing
in the morning.
39
00:01:38,319 --> 00:01:41,054
What we do is...This.
40
00:01:41,189 --> 00:01:43,389
You voted,
and we listened.
41
00:01:43,524 --> 00:01:46,259
All week, trish will
be doing the show...
42
00:01:46,394 --> 00:01:48,594
From a papasan!
43
00:01:48,596 --> 00:01:51,865
Whee!
I'm spilling!
44
00:01:51,999 --> 00:01:54,867
??
45
00:01:55,002 --> 00:01:57,603
? good morning, u.S.A. ?
46
00:01:57,605 --> 00:02:00,740
? I got a feelin' that
it's gonna be a wonderful day ?
47
00:02:00,875 --> 00:02:03,943
? the sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ?
48
00:02:04,079 --> 00:02:08,548
? and he's shinin' a salute
to the american race ?
49
00:02:10,418 --> 00:02:13,686
? oh, boy, it's swell to say ?
50
00:02:13,821 --> 00:02:16,089
? good -- ?
? good morning, u.S.A. ?
51
00:02:16,224 --> 00:02:17,457
Aah!
52
00:02:18,894 --> 00:02:21,694
? good morning, u.S.A. ?
53
00:02:21,829 --> 00:02:24,563
Trish:
Whee! I'm spilling!
54
00:02:24,565 --> 00:02:27,166
Steve: Oh, my god!
I want to die.
55
00:02:27,168 --> 00:02:28,834
Why am I throwing up tar?!
56
00:02:28,970 --> 00:02:31,971
It's food poisoning!
We all caught it!
57
00:02:32,107 --> 00:02:34,640
Klaus: It's hard to pin down
exactly what caused it,
58
00:02:34,642 --> 00:02:36,976
But I'm leaning toward
the giant wok
59
00:02:36,978 --> 00:02:39,779
Of squid-ink paella
we made last night.
60
00:02:39,781 --> 00:02:41,247
[ vomits ]
61
00:02:41,382 --> 00:02:44,049
Okay. Did a quick inventory
of our rations,
62
00:02:44,185 --> 00:02:47,720
And we've got zero sports
drinks, ginger ale, or saltines.
63
00:02:47,855 --> 00:02:50,790
What we do have are
62 tupperware containers
64
00:02:50,792 --> 00:02:52,258
Of squid-ink paella.
65
00:02:52,393 --> 00:02:54,127
I threw out everything else
to make room.
66
00:02:54,261 --> 00:02:57,997
You gotta remember -- at
the time, we loved the paella.
67
00:02:57,999 --> 00:02:59,865
[ steve grunting ]
68
00:02:59,867 --> 00:03:01,334
I don't wanna
sound dramatic,
69
00:03:01,469 --> 00:03:03,269
But if we don't get
some electrolytes soon,
70
00:03:03,404 --> 00:03:05,404
Things could get
pretty dire around here.
71
00:03:05,540 --> 00:03:07,440
[ jeff whistling ]
72
00:03:08,876 --> 00:03:13,279
Jeff! Did you eat
the paella last night?!
73
00:03:13,414 --> 00:03:15,281
Nope. Hayley and I
went out to dinner
74
00:03:15,416 --> 00:03:17,150
To celebrate
her new internship.
75
00:03:17,284 --> 00:03:18,484
We're saved!
76
00:03:18,486 --> 00:03:20,419
I did have some
for breakfast.
77
00:03:20,555 --> 00:03:23,222
Did you guys know it's the
only food in the kitchen?
78
00:03:23,224 --> 00:03:24,824
Jeff. Run!
79
00:03:24,959 --> 00:03:28,561
You have 10, maybe 12
minutes before you turn!
80
00:03:28,696 --> 00:03:32,898
You need to buy as much
gatorade as you can carry!
81
00:03:33,034 --> 00:03:34,433
You're our only hope!
82
00:03:34,569 --> 00:03:37,437
You can count on me,
mrs. S!
83
00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:40,640
[ dog barking ]
84
00:03:40,775 --> 00:03:43,242
Whoa! New dog
in the neighborhood!
85
00:03:43,244 --> 00:03:44,644
[chuckling]
oh, oh! Oh-hoo!
86
00:03:44,779 --> 00:03:46,779
You're a friendly guy,
aren't cha?
87
00:03:46,914 --> 00:03:49,715
You're kinda small
for a basset hound.
88
00:03:49,851 --> 00:03:51,316
You got a little chihuahua
in ya, too?
89
00:03:51,318 --> 00:03:53,519
Jeff!
Klaus: You [bleep]
90
00:03:57,405 --> 00:03:58,804
Don't mean to interrupt.
91
00:03:58,940 --> 00:04:01,207
Just wanted to meet
my co-workers.
92
00:04:01,209 --> 00:04:02,675
Hayley smith, intern.
93
00:04:02,810 --> 00:04:04,810
I heard you're having
mayor garfield on later.
94
00:04:04,946 --> 00:04:07,279
Seems like maybe a good
opportunity to ask him
95
00:04:07,281 --> 00:04:09,481
About the sorry state
of basketball courts
96
00:04:09,483 --> 00:04:10,750
In our public parks.
97
00:04:10,885 --> 00:04:13,553
Charlie! This one's
talking to me!
98
00:04:14,622 --> 00:04:15,888
Did you see that?
99
00:04:16,023 --> 00:04:18,358
It looked me
right in the face!
100
00:04:18,492 --> 00:04:20,026
What are you doing?!
101
00:04:20,161 --> 00:04:22,094
You don't talk to the talent.
What did you say to them?
102
00:04:22,096 --> 00:04:24,163
I mentioned mayor garfield
hasn't been keeping
103
00:04:24,298 --> 00:04:25,565
His campaign promi--
no!
104
00:04:25,700 --> 00:04:28,234
No, no, no, no, no!
I said no journalism!
105
00:04:28,369 --> 00:04:30,770
Well, surely a little
journalism can't hurt.
106
00:04:30,905 --> 00:04:34,440
[ growls ] this show.
It's light. It's bubbly.
107
00:04:34,576 --> 00:04:37,109
It goes down smooth
like a mimosa!
108
00:04:37,245 --> 00:04:39,579
And right now you --
you're like a-a wasp
109
00:04:39,714 --> 00:04:41,513
Hovering around
that mimosa.
110
00:04:41,515 --> 00:04:43,583
You're annoying,
and you don't understand
111
00:04:43,717 --> 00:04:45,718
That this is our picnic!
112
00:04:45,853 --> 00:04:48,120
I just want to try and do
some good while I'm here.
113
00:04:48,256 --> 00:04:51,523
Good. Then I have
the perfect job for you.
114
00:04:52,126 --> 00:04:55,461
Now, I understand
you love clowns.
115
00:04:55,463 --> 00:04:58,730
No. Towns.
State capitals.
116
00:04:58,732 --> 00:05:00,266
I hate clowns.
117
00:05:00,401 --> 00:05:02,068
"clowns"?
That's my cue!
118
00:05:02,736 --> 00:05:03,936
Hyah!
[ audience cheering ]
119
00:05:03,938 --> 00:05:07,840
Cheyenne! Lincoln!
Dover! Olympia!
120
00:05:08,743 --> 00:05:09,809
What are you in for?
121
00:05:09,944 --> 00:05:11,076
Attacked by
a small child.
122
00:05:11,078 --> 00:05:12,945
Small monkey.
I'm todd fox.
123
00:05:12,947 --> 00:05:14,480
I know.
I'm a massive fan!
124
00:05:14,616 --> 00:05:15,747
Why, thank you!
125
00:05:15,749 --> 00:05:17,016
Of your octopus,
kristoff.
126
00:05:17,151 --> 00:05:19,551
Oh. Well, you can
meet him if you like.
127
00:05:19,687 --> 00:05:21,621
Are you serious?!
Of course!
128
00:05:21,755 --> 00:05:22,688
He goes everywhere
with me.
129
00:05:22,824 --> 00:05:24,824
Kristoff!
[ whirring ]
130
00:05:24,959 --> 00:05:26,558
Kristoff, say hello.
131
00:05:26,694 --> 00:05:27,759
[robotic voice]
hello.
132
00:05:27,761 --> 00:05:30,696
Lady nice. Lady sad?
133
00:05:30,832 --> 00:05:33,032
Kristoff!
No, it's okay.
134
00:05:33,167 --> 00:05:35,767
I am feeling
a little down. What's the trouble?
135
00:05:35,769 --> 00:05:37,503
I came here thinking
it was a chance
136
00:05:37,505 --> 00:05:39,171
To get my foot
in the door.
137
00:05:39,173 --> 00:05:41,307
But now I realize
how stupid that was.
138
00:05:41,442 --> 00:05:43,242
Well, that's
extremely vague.
139
00:05:43,377 --> 00:05:46,312
But my advice -- if you find
yourself tied to something
140
00:05:46,447 --> 00:05:49,048
That makes you unhappy,
cut it loose and walk away.
141
00:05:49,183 --> 00:05:52,318
Huh.
Well, thank you, mr. Fox.
142
00:05:52,320 --> 00:05:53,853
Please.
Call me todd fox.
143
00:05:53,988 --> 00:05:55,921
Intern!
There you are!
144
00:05:55,923 --> 00:05:57,256
We need to get you
out of that sling
145
00:05:57,391 --> 00:05:59,191
And into your
tortilla-chip costume.
146
00:05:59,327 --> 00:06:02,328
We're five minutes away from
the piping-hot queso high dive!
147
00:06:02,330 --> 00:06:04,129
Medical team
on standby?!
148
00:06:04,131 --> 00:06:07,599
Nope. Can't do it.
Todd fox is right.
149
00:06:07,735 --> 00:06:09,869
Gotta cut this loose
and walk away.
150
00:06:10,004 --> 00:06:13,005
I can just take the journalism
class again next year.
151
00:06:13,140 --> 00:06:14,140
What's this?
152
00:06:14,275 --> 00:06:17,877
"todd fox's first wife
was murdered.
153
00:06:18,012 --> 00:06:19,812
Follow the money, hayley."
154
00:06:19,947 --> 00:06:21,481
[ gasps ] I'm hayley!
155
00:06:21,615 --> 00:06:23,282
Oh, my god!
156
00:06:23,417 --> 00:06:24,984
Journalism.
157
00:06:29,157 --> 00:06:30,489
Out of the way!
158
00:06:30,491 --> 00:06:31,757
Bombshell
coming through!
159
00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:33,559
She's overselling
herself.
160
00:06:33,694 --> 00:06:35,293
She's a six
on a good day.
161
00:06:35,295 --> 00:06:37,696
Okay. Look. I know
you guys don't do news,
162
00:06:37,832 --> 00:06:41,099
But todd fox might have
murdered his first wife!
163
00:06:41,101 --> 00:06:43,235
You have to dig into this
before he's on the show!
164
00:06:43,371 --> 00:06:46,104
We don't have to do anything.
I'm not touching that.
165
00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:48,174
How do we know
you didn't write it?
166
00:06:48,309 --> 00:06:49,775
[ hiccups ]
yeah!
167
00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:52,645
How do we know it wasn't
you who got murdered?
168
00:06:52,780 --> 00:06:54,847
What?
Charlie: Intern!
169
00:06:54,982 --> 00:06:58,316
I thought I told you to
stop pestering the stars.
170
00:06:58,318 --> 00:06:59,651
And what is this?
171
00:06:59,653 --> 00:07:02,588
Ah-ha!
Just as I suspected.
172
00:07:02,723 --> 00:07:03,922
A scoop.
173
00:07:04,058 --> 00:07:05,858
If it's true,
it's huge news.
174
00:07:05,860 --> 00:07:07,793
Wait. Really?
Well, in that case
175
00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:09,195
Call the freaking gazette
176
00:07:09,330 --> 00:07:11,397
Because that's not
what we do here!
177
00:07:11,532 --> 00:07:13,665
Drop it!
Or you're fired
178
00:07:13,667 --> 00:07:15,734
And I'll see to it
that you never work
179
00:07:15,870 --> 00:07:18,204
In brunch-time
television again!
180
00:07:18,339 --> 00:07:19,672
Okay.
181
00:07:19,807 --> 00:07:21,673
Besides, you really
think these two
182
00:07:21,675 --> 00:07:25,477
Are even capable of handling
your alleged "bombshell"?
183
00:07:25,613 --> 00:07:26,945
Look at 'em!
184
00:07:27,081 --> 00:07:29,748
All this is making me
want a churro bad.
185
00:07:29,884 --> 00:07:31,884
Bring in
the churrodillo!
186
00:07:32,019 --> 00:07:33,619
[ cheers and applause ]
187
00:07:33,754 --> 00:07:36,755
? I'm too sexy for my shirt,
too sexy for my shirt ?
188
00:07:36,757 --> 00:07:40,759
Suze: Yeah, work it, churrodillo! Work it!
189
00:07:40,895 --> 00:07:43,229
The kitchen is off limits
forever now,
190
00:07:43,363 --> 00:07:45,363
And I don't want to
talk about why.
191
00:07:45,365 --> 00:07:47,966
Klaus: Could I at least sneak in
quickly and change out my water?
192
00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:49,835
The kitchen is gone,
klaus!
193
00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:52,371
Klaus: Well, I'm sure jeff
will be home any minute
194
00:07:52,506 --> 00:07:53,839
And we'll all be saved.
195
00:07:53,974 --> 00:07:56,575
Jeff is dead in a ditch
somewhere covered in ink.
196
00:07:56,577 --> 00:07:57,976
I feel it in my bones.
197
00:07:57,978 --> 00:08:00,046
It's time
to accept the fact
198
00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:03,381
That none of us are
coming back from this.
199
00:08:03,383 --> 00:08:07,052
[ bell jingling ]
200
00:08:07,187 --> 00:08:09,455
Steve: Snack cart!
He's got drinks!
201
00:08:09,590 --> 00:08:10,923
We're saved!
202
00:08:10,925 --> 00:08:13,792
Steve! You have to
signal him!
203
00:08:13,794 --> 00:08:16,262
Klaus:
Don't let him get away!
204
00:08:17,131 --> 00:08:19,598
Wha-- aah!
Wha-- uh-- wha--
205
00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:20,900
[ explosion ]
206
00:08:23,804 --> 00:08:25,604
Roger:
Did he see you, steve?
207
00:08:25,739 --> 00:08:30,142
??
208
00:08:30,278 --> 00:08:31,877
Hayley:
This is such good journalism.
209
00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:34,212
I am doing the shit
out of this journalism.
210
00:08:34,348 --> 00:08:37,015
Is that
my microfiche reader?!
211
00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:39,351
You're still researching
todd fox, aren't yo--
212
00:08:39,487 --> 00:08:42,354
Jesus! Are those
my sour twizzlers, too?!
213
00:08:42,490 --> 00:08:45,023
Those were in my car!
My locked car!
214
00:08:45,159 --> 00:08:46,692
[ slurps and gulps ]
215
00:08:46,827 --> 00:08:48,360
[ chuckles ]
216
00:08:48,362 --> 00:08:51,763
You got big ovaries, kid.
I'll give you that.
217
00:08:51,765 --> 00:08:53,499
You know,
I did, too, once.
218
00:08:53,634 --> 00:08:56,034
God, it seems like
another lifetime now. [ harp twinkles ]
219
00:08:56,170 --> 00:08:58,971
I'll tell you about it
after I nuke this toilet.
220
00:08:58,973 --> 00:09:01,507
[ grunts ]
ahh...
221
00:09:01,642 --> 00:09:02,774
Done.
222
00:09:02,776 --> 00:09:05,111
The year was 17 -- for me.
223
00:09:05,245 --> 00:09:07,245
For some others, it was
likely a different age.
224
00:09:07,381 --> 00:09:09,181
Trish and I were
paired up at random
225
00:09:09,183 --> 00:09:12,050
By our broadcast
journalism teacher.
226
00:09:12,186 --> 00:09:14,252
We were a great team
from the start.
227
00:09:14,388 --> 00:09:18,056
Our first expos๏ฟฝ blew the lid
off local corruption!
228
00:09:18,192 --> 00:09:20,192
Earning us a b-plus
in the class.
229
00:09:20,194 --> 00:09:22,461
It was one of those teachers
who doesn't give a's,
230
00:09:22,596 --> 00:09:24,596
Based on some
misguided principle.
231
00:09:24,732 --> 00:09:25,931
No, I don't give a's.
232
00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:28,334
Because of my
misguided principles.
233
00:09:28,468 --> 00:09:31,737
After our first big scoop,
we were hooked.
234
00:09:31,872 --> 00:09:34,072
Just two more kids in america
235
00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:37,209
Falling recklessly in love
with the news!
236
00:09:37,345 --> 00:09:40,746
Early reports indicate
thousands injured or missing.
237
00:09:40,881 --> 00:09:42,881
We're not finished
doing the news!
238
00:09:42,883 --> 00:09:44,216
[ soldiers scream ]
239
00:09:44,352 --> 00:09:48,286
Eventually we landed
our own tv news hour.
240
00:09:48,288 --> 00:09:49,555
Trish: But we were young
and didn't know
241
00:09:49,690 --> 00:09:51,557
The dark side
of the industry yet.
242
00:09:51,692 --> 00:09:53,959
Hi, suze. I also had to
use the bathroom,
243
00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:55,627
So I can help
with this story, too!
244
00:09:55,629 --> 00:09:58,564
Test groups find the two
of you intimidating.
245
00:09:58,699 --> 00:10:02,368
I was thinking maybe we cash
in those dusty old pantsuits
246
00:10:02,502 --> 00:10:04,836
For something that shows
a little more leg.
247
00:10:04,838 --> 00:10:06,772
And, trish,
lose the glasses.
248
00:10:06,907 --> 00:10:08,574
No one likes chicks
who can see good.
249
00:10:08,709 --> 00:10:11,109
I just think we could
get more eyeballs
250
00:10:11,245 --> 00:10:12,644
If we added
a simple game.
251
00:10:12,780 --> 00:10:15,714
I promise it won't compromise
your credibility.
252
00:10:15,716 --> 00:10:18,516
I'm not asking you to play
twister with gore vidal.
253
00:10:18,518 --> 00:10:20,318
Just something
to loosen everyone up.
254
00:10:20,454 --> 00:10:21,787
Think casual.
255
00:10:21,922 --> 00:10:24,390
And maybe a drink in your hand
to grease the wheels?
256
00:10:24,524 --> 00:10:25,591
[ fingers snap ]
257
00:10:25,726 --> 00:10:29,795
??
258
00:10:29,930 --> 00:10:32,064
[ cheers and applause ]
259
00:10:32,199 --> 00:10:34,433
[ trish giggling ]
260
00:10:35,870 --> 00:10:37,603
And now we're here.
261
00:10:37,738 --> 00:10:39,738
Wow.
I had no idea.
262
00:10:39,740 --> 00:10:43,541
That is so, so...
Perfect!
263
00:10:43,543 --> 00:10:47,145
It is?
Maybe I told it wrong.
264
00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:48,546
Don't you see?
265
00:10:48,548 --> 00:10:50,682
You two aren't just
aging, cookie-cutter,
266
00:10:50,684 --> 00:10:53,551
Empty-calorie, talentless,
mid-tier beauties!
267
00:10:53,553 --> 00:10:54,820
Ouch!
Jesus!
268
00:10:54,955 --> 00:10:56,288
You've got chops!
269
00:10:56,424 --> 00:10:58,290
You were real-deal
journalists once!
270
00:10:58,426 --> 00:11:00,226
And you can be that again --
right now.
271
00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:03,161
[ inhales sharply ]
I don't know.
272
00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:06,432
Just listen to this juice
I dug up on todd fox.
273
00:11:06,566 --> 00:11:08,300
His wife was
a wealthy heiress,
274
00:11:08,436 --> 00:11:10,436
And they married
after only two months.
275
00:11:10,570 --> 00:11:12,904
Then she died under
mysterious circumstances
276
00:11:12,906 --> 00:11:16,108
When her zip-lining harness
"gave out" on their honeymoon.
277
00:11:16,243 --> 00:11:19,311
Boom -- todd fox inherited
her whole fortune
278
00:11:19,447 --> 00:11:21,379
And has been
slowly draining it
279
00:11:21,381 --> 00:11:23,449
To buy more exotic animals
and build his brand.
280
00:11:23,584 --> 00:11:25,250
The note was right.
281
00:11:25,385 --> 00:11:28,186
It really looks like
he murdered her. You know what else?
282
00:11:28,322 --> 00:11:30,122
He hooked up with me
after the christmas party
283
00:11:30,257 --> 00:11:33,259
Last year even though
he saw me throw up twice.
284
00:11:33,393 --> 00:11:36,528
And I actually
threw up five times.
285
00:11:36,530 --> 00:11:39,931
You two have a real chance
to blindside him today.
286
00:11:39,933 --> 00:11:41,333
He won't see it coming --
287
00:11:41,335 --> 00:11:43,669
Not on "morning mimosa!"
and not from you.
288
00:11:43,804 --> 00:11:47,072
Please! Journalism was your
dream, and now it's mine.
289
00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:50,008
Do it for all the kids
like me watching at home.
290
00:11:50,010 --> 00:11:52,077
Wait.
How old are you?
291
00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:54,079
'cause you look
like you're 35.
292
00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:56,348
No. We can't.
Todd fox is beloved.
293
00:11:56,484 --> 00:11:58,416
It's career suicide.
I'm sorry, intern.
294
00:11:58,418 --> 00:11:59,885
I never actually
learned your name.
295
00:12:00,020 --> 00:12:03,155
Charlie is right about us.
We can't do news anymore.
296
00:12:03,290 --> 00:12:07,159
We changed, and you will, too,
when you grow up. More.
297
00:12:07,294 --> 00:12:09,495
Okay. We should
really get back.
298
00:12:09,629 --> 00:12:12,364
I think it's been about eight
minutes of dead air out there.
299
00:12:12,366 --> 00:12:14,700
Lionfish! Bike tire!
[ audience oohing ]
300
00:12:14,835 --> 00:12:17,503
Rabbit! Fanny pack!
301
00:12:17,638 --> 00:12:18,837
Seal!
302
00:12:18,839 --> 00:12:20,706
[laughing] shut up!
303
00:12:20,841 --> 00:12:22,174
That's the one I meant!
304
00:12:22,309 --> 00:12:24,276
[ cheers and applause ]
305
00:12:26,180 --> 00:12:28,714
Charlie: Cash in those dusty pantsuits
306
00:12:28,849 --> 00:12:31,049
For something that shows a little more leg.
307
00:12:31,051 --> 00:12:32,784
[ heart thumping ]
308
00:12:32,786 --> 00:12:35,187
And maybe a drink in your hand to grease the wheels?
309
00:12:35,322 --> 00:12:37,623
[ heart thumping ]
310
00:12:41,328 --> 00:12:44,662
Todd fox!
I'm dyin' to know.
311
00:12:44,664 --> 00:12:48,200
Do any of your animals
mate for life?
312
00:12:48,335 --> 00:12:50,536
Oh, sure. My shingleback
lizards are a prime --
313
00:12:50,671 --> 00:12:53,805
And where do you stand
on that philosophy? I'm sorry?
314
00:12:53,941 --> 00:12:55,473
'til death do you part.
315
00:12:55,609 --> 00:12:57,209
What's your take on that?
316
00:12:57,211 --> 00:12:59,344
Well, I'd say those
shingleback lizards
317
00:12:59,479 --> 00:13:00,812
Never met
my last wife!
318
00:13:00,948 --> 00:13:02,280
[ laughter ]
319
00:13:02,416 --> 00:13:05,150
And what about
your first wife?
320
00:13:07,621 --> 00:13:09,621
Oh. My. God.
321
00:13:09,623 --> 00:13:11,757
[ chuckles nervously ]
what are you doing?
322
00:13:11,892 --> 00:13:14,092
I made it clear to your
producer I don't talk about her.
323
00:13:14,094 --> 00:13:15,493
Oh, come on!
324
00:13:15,495 --> 00:13:17,763
The first woman
to land todd fox?
325
00:13:17,898 --> 00:13:21,366
I bet our audience
would love to know her secret!
326
00:13:21,501 --> 00:13:23,235
[ audience howling ]
327
00:13:23,370 --> 00:13:25,371
[ sighs ] she was
the love of my life.
328
00:13:25,505 --> 00:13:27,573
Speaking of love,
I brought two lovely
329
00:13:27,707 --> 00:13:29,241
Little squirrel monkeys
today,
330
00:13:29,243 --> 00:13:30,976
And one of them can
actually read and write!
331
00:13:31,111 --> 00:13:33,311
The other one, well,
he just isn't getting it.
332
00:13:33,447 --> 00:13:35,247
So it wasn't
her money?
333
00:13:35,249 --> 00:13:37,783
Hey. Come on. Are
we here to talk about dead relationships
334
00:13:37,918 --> 00:13:40,986
Or see a squirrel monkey get
tangled up in trish's hair?
335
00:13:41,121 --> 00:13:43,855
Fascinating
choice of words.
336
00:13:43,857 --> 00:13:46,324
"dead relationships."
337
00:13:46,326 --> 00:13:48,126
Please don't do this.
338
00:13:48,262 --> 00:13:50,662
Bring up the
newspaper, please!
339
00:13:50,798 --> 00:13:54,332
Is that her, todd?
She's gorgeous.
340
00:13:54,468 --> 00:13:57,068
Oh, god. I've never
even seen these.
341
00:13:57,070 --> 00:13:58,536
Is that the moment?
342
00:13:58,672 --> 00:14:01,139
You tell us. It was
your honeymoon.
343
00:14:01,141 --> 00:14:03,609
An heiress.
Wow!
344
00:14:03,744 --> 00:14:06,278
What happened to
her money after that?
345
00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:08,480
I...Took over
the estate.
346
00:14:08,616 --> 00:14:11,617
And how much
do bald eagles cost?
347
00:14:11,751 --> 00:14:14,352
All your animals must
have been a small fortune.
348
00:14:14,488 --> 00:14:16,221
I don't think I like
what you're implying.
349
00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:18,756
Then I'll stop implying
and ask.
350
00:14:18,758 --> 00:14:22,194
Todd fox, did you
murder your wife?
351
00:14:24,097 --> 00:14:25,697
I didn't kill my wife!
352
00:14:25,699 --> 00:14:27,966
Do you notice anything
missing from those pictures?
353
00:14:28,101 --> 00:14:31,169
It's me! I didn't even make it
to costa rica because...
354
00:14:31,305 --> 00:14:33,972
I got such severe food
poisoning on the layover
355
00:14:33,974 --> 00:14:35,440
I had to be hospitalized.
356
00:14:35,575 --> 00:14:38,443
I slipped in and out of
a diarrhea coma for weeks!
357
00:14:38,578 --> 00:14:40,178
I have
the hospital records!
358
00:14:40,180 --> 00:14:42,180
I'd never kill her!
I loved her!
359
00:14:42,316 --> 00:14:43,915
[ sobbing ]
360
00:14:44,051 --> 00:14:45,250
[ sobbing ]
361
00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:48,119
This has hayley
written all over it.
362
00:14:48,121 --> 00:14:49,988
Oh, no.
[ audience booing ]
363
00:14:49,990 --> 00:14:51,256
[ glass shattering ]
364
00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:53,225
Commercial!
Throw to commercial!
365
00:14:56,063 --> 00:14:57,595
[ audience booing ]
welp, that's our careers.
366
00:14:57,731 --> 00:14:59,464
Good run, ladies.
Hope it was worth it.
367
00:14:59,599 --> 00:15:01,466
Sir! Please!
It was all my fault!
368
00:15:01,601 --> 00:15:03,935
Oh, it's your fault?!
Oh, fantastic!
369
00:15:04,071 --> 00:15:06,804
I'll just go tell the network
that it wasn't trish and suze
370
00:15:06,806 --> 00:15:10,608
Who accused a national treasure
of murder on live tv.
371
00:15:10,610 --> 00:15:13,411
It was you with
your hand up their asses!
372
00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:15,480
It's not that bad,
charlie.
373
00:15:15,615 --> 00:15:17,815
We can fix it
after the break.
374
00:15:17,951 --> 00:15:19,884
You think I'm letting you
go back out there?!
375
00:15:20,019 --> 00:15:21,419
You're done!
376
00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:23,288
I'm running "macgyver"
the rest of the day.
377
00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:25,022
Come one!
Did you guys give up
378
00:15:25,158 --> 00:15:28,159
When suze electrocuted
ryan reynolds with a car battery?
379
00:15:28,962 --> 00:15:31,162
Did you call it quits
when suze tricked
380
00:15:31,164 --> 00:15:32,764
Michelle obama
into eating peanuts
381
00:15:32,766 --> 00:15:34,232
To see if her allergy
was fake?
382
00:15:34,367 --> 00:15:36,768
It is always you,
isn't it?
383
00:15:36,770 --> 00:15:39,637
All we need is
the fluffiest, sweetest,
384
00:15:39,773 --> 00:15:42,440
Bubbliest apology segment
you've ever done.
385
00:15:42,575 --> 00:15:44,842
I've learned my lesson.
Screw journalism!
386
00:15:44,978 --> 00:15:46,978
Put me in the bikini!
Give me a mimosa!
387
00:15:46,980 --> 00:15:51,248
Ahh. Oh, god. That's
actually really nice.
388
00:15:51,250 --> 00:15:54,852
If we can get todd fox back
out there, she might be right.
389
00:15:54,988 --> 00:15:57,322
But I'm warning you!
Stick to the cards!
390
00:15:57,457 --> 00:15:59,457
Anything different,
and you'll be hosting
391
00:15:59,592 --> 00:16:01,526
Another trish and suze
booze cruise
392
00:16:01,661 --> 00:16:04,129
From port lewes
to santa cruz!
393
00:16:04,263 --> 00:16:05,396
[ applause ]
394
00:16:05,532 --> 00:16:06,864
Welcome back!
395
00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:09,334
If you were around
for our last segment,
396
00:16:09,469 --> 00:16:12,671
You might assume we're
cooking up some crow!
397
00:16:14,007 --> 00:16:15,473
Nope, trish.
398
00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:17,142
Today we're going to
teach everyone at home
399
00:16:17,277 --> 00:16:18,810
How to make
apology sugar cookies
400
00:16:18,812 --> 00:16:21,278
For our dear friend
todd fox.
401
00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:22,747
But things
could get interesting
402
00:16:22,882 --> 00:16:28,153
Because we'll be trying
to do it in sumo suuuuits!
403
00:16:28,287 --> 00:16:31,288
[ audience member coughs ]
can we at least take those down?
404
00:16:31,290 --> 00:16:33,825
Of course.
So sorry, todd fox.
405
00:16:33,827 --> 00:16:36,894
Okay! Now, nothing
says "I'm sorry"
406
00:16:36,896 --> 00:16:38,029
Better than butter.
407
00:16:38,165 --> 00:16:39,764
Hang on. Put it back up.
408
00:16:39,899 --> 00:16:41,800
[ audience gasps ]
409
00:16:43,503 --> 00:16:45,904
I know that
fanny pack.
410
00:16:48,842 --> 00:16:51,176
Holy [bleep].
It's kristoff!
411
00:16:51,310 --> 00:16:52,710
Back to commercial!
412
00:16:52,712 --> 00:16:55,446
So the octopus was
the fanny pack, right?
413
00:16:55,582 --> 00:16:57,248
And in the photo
where she falls,
414
00:16:57,250 --> 00:16:59,450
The fanny pack
is gone -- look!
415
00:16:59,586 --> 00:17:01,719
[ dramatic music plays ]
416
00:17:01,721 --> 00:17:04,321
So what are we saying?
That kristoff killed her?
417
00:17:04,323 --> 00:17:08,259
The only way to prove it
is to force a confession.
418
00:17:08,395 --> 00:17:11,062
We've gotta
grill the octopus.
419
00:17:11,198 --> 00:17:12,530
Are you sure
you want to do this?
420
00:17:12,665 --> 00:17:13,999
You could
just back out now,
421
00:17:14,133 --> 00:17:15,400
Go back to how
things were.
422
00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:17,268
I honestly don't think
I can.
423
00:17:17,404 --> 00:17:18,736
Me neither.
424
00:17:18,738 --> 00:17:20,071
If we're gonna
blow up our career,
425
00:17:20,207 --> 00:17:22,273
It should be for something
we're proud of.
426
00:17:22,409 --> 00:17:24,409
Charlie! How long
until we're back?!
427
00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:26,211
We're not going back on!
428
00:17:26,346 --> 00:17:29,747
I'm not letting you hurt
america's sweetheart anymore.
429
00:17:29,883 --> 00:17:32,083
Where's the one where
"macgyver" blows up a plane?
430
00:17:32,085 --> 00:17:33,284
That's a good one.
431
00:17:33,286 --> 00:17:34,619
Hayley:
We're back in ten!
432
00:17:34,754 --> 00:17:36,354
I knocked out the board operator!
433
00:17:36,489 --> 00:17:38,489
He was helping us!
434
00:17:38,625 --> 00:17:40,225
Oh. Well, he's...
435
00:17:40,360 --> 00:17:42,960
Okay. He's bleeding pretty bad.
436
00:17:42,962 --> 00:17:44,495
[ applause ]
437
00:17:44,631 --> 00:17:48,766
Kristoff, how long
have you known todd fox?
438
00:17:48,768 --> 00:17:50,702
Kristoff:
Kristoff's whole life.
439
00:17:50,837 --> 00:17:54,639
But heart feels
it has known him longer.
440
00:17:54,774 --> 00:17:56,241
[ audience awws ]
shh!
441
00:17:56,375 --> 00:17:59,043
You'd do anything
for him, wouldn't you?
442
00:17:59,178 --> 00:18:00,245
Even kill.
443
00:18:00,380 --> 00:18:01,446
What the hell?!
444
00:18:01,581 --> 00:18:03,380
Hayley, pull it up!
445
00:18:03,382 --> 00:18:04,716
[ whirring ]
446
00:18:04,851 --> 00:18:08,519
That looks a lot
like you, kristoff.
447
00:18:08,655 --> 00:18:09,787
It really does.
448
00:18:09,789 --> 00:18:11,122
But that's
impossible.
449
00:18:11,258 --> 00:18:13,791
You would have been
by todd fox's bedside.
450
00:18:13,927 --> 00:18:17,595
Unless you had a more important
reason to follow lisa?
451
00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:19,864
Like...Motive.
452
00:18:19,999 --> 00:18:21,732
Kristoff: I...
Come on, suze.
453
00:18:21,734 --> 00:18:23,400
What are you
suggesting?
454
00:18:23,402 --> 00:18:27,138
That a dumb little octopus
can plan that far ahead?
455
00:18:27,140 --> 00:18:28,539
Kristoff: Dumb?!
456
00:18:28,541 --> 00:18:30,942
Is smuggling myself
into a foreign country
457
00:18:31,077 --> 00:18:34,411
To commit the perfect murder
in the name of love dumb?!
458
00:18:34,413 --> 00:18:36,281
[ all gasp ]
kristoff?
459
00:18:36,416 --> 00:18:37,749
Kristoff:
Oh, come on, todd.
460
00:18:37,884 --> 00:18:39,751
You must have felt
the energy between us.
461
00:18:39,886 --> 00:18:42,086
We are electric together.
462
00:18:42,221 --> 00:18:46,157
Lisa felt it.
She wanted to separate us.
463
00:18:46,159 --> 00:18:48,159
It was her or me.
464
00:18:48,295 --> 00:18:49,761
I can't believe this.
465
00:18:49,896 --> 00:18:53,030
You killed my wife,
deceived me all these years?
466
00:18:53,032 --> 00:18:55,500
Kristoff: The masks
are off, my darling.
467
00:18:55,635 --> 00:18:57,902
We can finally
be together.
468
00:18:58,037 --> 00:19:00,305
[ imitates buzzer ]
you're going to jail.
469
00:19:00,439 --> 00:19:01,706
The zoo?
470
00:19:01,841 --> 00:19:03,841
Are all the animals
in the zoo criminals?
471
00:19:03,977 --> 00:19:05,109
Look out!
472
00:19:05,244 --> 00:19:06,778
[ trish screams ]
473
00:19:06,913 --> 00:19:09,514
??
474
00:19:09,649 --> 00:19:11,382
[ all gasp ]
475
00:19:11,518 --> 00:19:12,783
[ gun cocks ]
476
00:19:12,785 --> 00:19:14,719
I don't know
which one is which!
477
00:19:14,854 --> 00:19:16,253
Why do you
have a gun?!
478
00:19:16,255 --> 00:19:17,655
I always have a gun!
479
00:19:17,657 --> 00:19:18,923
Shoot us both!
480
00:19:19,058 --> 00:19:21,459
What?! W-why shoot
either of them?!
481
00:19:26,199 --> 00:19:27,598
That's my partner.
482
00:19:27,734 --> 00:19:29,066
[ gunshot ]
aah!
483
00:19:29,536 --> 00:19:32,137
Sorry, trish. That was
a whoopsie bullet.
484
00:19:32,271 --> 00:19:34,471
Well, that's our time.
485
00:19:34,473 --> 00:19:35,940
Join us tomorrow
when we'll play
486
00:19:36,075 --> 00:19:39,410
Flip-cup charades
with dame helen mirren.
487
00:19:39,546 --> 00:19:40,811
See you tomorrow, america!
488
00:19:40,813 --> 00:19:42,347
[ gunshot ]
ooh!
489
00:19:42,481 --> 00:19:45,016
Seems like we're all over
the hump with this bug.
490
00:19:45,018 --> 00:19:46,351
[ groans ]
I'm even a little hungry.
491
00:19:46,486 --> 00:19:48,553
Me too.
Too bad the only thing
492
00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:50,688
We have to eat
is that bad paella.
493
00:19:50,823 --> 00:19:52,156
Eh, what the hell.
494
00:19:52,291 --> 00:19:53,758
I'll take another swing
with the paella.
495
00:19:53,893 --> 00:19:55,226
It would be a shame
to waste it. Me too!
496
00:19:55,362 --> 00:19:57,428
And besides, maybe
I'm misremembering it
497
00:19:57,430 --> 00:19:58,896
Because it's been a minute,
498
00:19:58,898 --> 00:20:00,598
But I don't even think
we got that sick.
499
00:20:01,568 --> 00:20:03,968
It's the paella!
Guh!
500
00:20:04,103 --> 00:20:05,903
Somebody dump out
those gatorades
501
00:20:06,039 --> 00:20:08,639
So we can use the bottles
for on-the-go paella.
502
00:20:08,775 --> 00:20:09,707
[ clink ]
503
00:20:09,842 --> 00:20:12,510
To a great damn show.
504
00:20:13,312 --> 00:20:15,046
You know what I still
can't figure out?
505
00:20:15,181 --> 00:20:16,815
Who wrote that note?
506
00:20:19,386 --> 00:20:20,718
[ scribbling ]
507
00:20:23,857 --> 00:20:26,391
It was the monkey. The monkey
that can write did it.
508
00:20:26,526 --> 00:20:28,125
That makes sense.
Wow.
509
00:20:28,127 --> 00:20:30,795
You really figured
everything out, hayley smith.
510
00:20:30,930 --> 00:20:33,064
Yeah, hayley. You've got
a job here any time.
511
00:20:33,199 --> 00:20:35,199
In fact, I have
a feeling a lot of things
512
00:20:35,334 --> 00:20:37,802
Are gonna be changing
around here.
513
00:20:39,205 --> 00:20:41,272
Morning, ladies.
How we feeling?
514
00:20:41,408 --> 00:20:42,740
It's talking to me!
515
00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:44,876
Gross! It looked you
right in the face!
516
00:20:45,011 --> 00:20:46,677
But yesterday you --
we what?
517
00:20:46,813 --> 00:20:48,880
Got blackout drunk,
had a great show,
518
00:20:49,015 --> 00:20:50,347
And forgot everything
that happened?
519
00:20:50,483 --> 00:20:52,083
That's "morning mimosa!",
kid!
520
00:20:52,218 --> 00:20:55,420
No way she's a kid.
She looks 35!
521
00:20:55,554 --> 00:20:58,223
Get out of here,
old kid!
522
00:20:58,357 --> 00:21:00,658
Have a great night!
523
00:21:00,708 --> 00:21:05,258
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