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1
00:00:03,070 --> 00:00:05,045
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
2
00:00:17,334 --> 00:00:19,476
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
3
00:00:22,798 --> 00:00:25,223
Hey, hey, hey.
What you think
you're doing?
4
00:00:25,300 --> 00:00:27,142
Getting some coffee.
BERNIE: No, no,
no, no, no.
5
00:00:27,153 --> 00:00:28,318
You're too young
to drink coffee.
6
00:00:28,395 --> 00:00:29,778
Put that down.
VANESSA: Fine.
7
00:00:29,855 --> 00:00:31,772
There's a coffee stand
at school.
8
00:00:31,848 --> 00:00:32,781
(PHONE RINGING)
9
00:00:34,601 --> 00:00:35,901
Hold that thought.
10
00:00:35,977 --> 00:00:37,661
(PHONE BEEPS)
Hello?
11
00:00:37,738 --> 00:00:39,863
WALKER (OVER PHONE):
Uh, yes. Hello.This is Principal Walker
12
00:00:39,940 --> 00:00:41,782
calling from Chicago.
13
00:00:41,858 --> 00:00:44,367
Principal Walker.
WALKER (OVER PHONE):
Yes, that's right.
14
00:00:44,444 --> 00:00:46,995
Hey, man, how you doing?
WALKER (OVER PHONE):
Fine, is this Bernie?
15
00:00:47,072 --> 00:00:49,005
Yeah, this is Bernie Mac.
16
00:00:49,083 --> 00:00:50,415
WALKER (OVER PHONE):
(LAUGHS) Bernie, your oldschool wants to honor you.
17
00:00:50,492 --> 00:00:53,168
What?
WALKER (OVER PHONE):
With a statue.
18
00:00:53,179 --> 00:00:54,636
You got to be kidding.
19
00:00:56,540 --> 00:00:57,473
(LAUGHS)
20
00:01:05,340 --> 00:01:07,691
I mean, Principal,
I mean,
I just can't believe it.
21
00:01:07,768 --> 00:01:10,143
WALKER (OVER PHONE):
It's our honor.
Thank you for calling, okay?
22
00:01:10,220 --> 00:01:11,695
Appreciate it. I do.
23
00:01:12,490 --> 00:01:13,814
Hey.
Honey,
24
00:01:13,890 --> 00:01:15,031
please.
Hmm?
25
00:01:15,109 --> 00:01:16,900
Please, honey,
I almost hurt myself.
26
00:01:16,977 --> 00:01:19,569
Could you hang
the picture up, honey?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
27
00:01:19,646 --> 00:01:20,862
Today?
Yes.
28
00:01:20,939 --> 00:01:22,030
Listen to me.
29
00:01:22,107 --> 00:01:23,707
That was
the principal calling.
30
00:01:23,784 --> 00:01:27,244
They think my work
is an inspiration
for the kids.
31
00:01:27,320 --> 00:01:29,830
They want to honor me
in Chicago.
32
00:01:29,906 --> 00:01:31,289
Ain't that
something?
33
00:01:31,366 --> 00:01:33,708
What? That's wonderful.
I'm happy for you.
34
00:01:33,785 --> 00:01:35,310
What...
When is it?
35
00:01:35,221 --> 00:01:37,295
They said
someone's gonna call
with all the details,
36
00:01:37,372 --> 00:01:38,588
but dig this.
Hmm?
37
00:01:38,665 --> 00:01:40,882
They want to make
a statue of me,
38
00:01:40,959 --> 00:01:43,009
place it where I used
to cut class
39
00:01:43,020 --> 00:01:44,678
and tell all my
jokes and stuff.
40
00:01:44,688 --> 00:01:46,429
Okay, guys.
What do you
think about that?
41
00:01:46,506 --> 00:01:48,232
Your uncle's
being honored
in Chicago?
42
00:01:48,308 --> 00:01:50,100
Do we get to go
and miss school?
43
00:01:50,177 --> 00:01:51,143
Nope.
44
00:01:51,219 --> 00:01:52,310
Some big whoop.
45
00:01:52,387 --> 00:01:54,437
It is a big whoop, America.
46
00:01:54,514 --> 00:01:57,482
I used to love
to make people laugh
in high school,
47
00:01:57,559 --> 00:02:00,318
but back then,
they give you detention.
48
00:02:00,395 --> 00:02:03,029
Now they giving me,
the Mac Man,
49
00:02:03,106 --> 00:02:06,241
Bernie Mac, a statue?
50
00:02:06,252 --> 00:02:09,452
I don't do what I do
for recognition, America,
51
00:02:09,529 --> 00:02:12,714
but when you do things
and you don't expect
nothing from it,
52
00:02:14,093 --> 00:02:16,135
I have to truly say, America,
53
00:02:17,037 --> 00:02:18,720
it sure is nice.
54
00:02:19,915 --> 00:02:22,307
It's real nice.
55
00:02:23,543 --> 00:02:25,635
Thanks for
having me tonight.
56
00:02:25,712 --> 00:02:27,304
Tonight.
Hey, honey.
57
00:02:27,380 --> 00:02:29,181
Hey, baby.
How's the
speech coming?
58
00:02:29,257 --> 00:02:31,474
I don't know.
I'm a little
nervous, man.
59
00:02:31,551 --> 00:02:34,019
I haven't performed
in front of kids
in a long time.
60
00:02:34,095 --> 00:02:37,480
Aww,
you'll be fine,
honey. Mwah.
61
00:02:37,557 --> 00:02:39,357
Hey, you know what?
I forgot to tell you at dinner.
What?
62
00:02:39,434 --> 00:02:41,902
Your school called
and I got all the info
for your trip.
63
00:02:41,978 --> 00:02:44,029
You're kidding.
Nope.
64
00:02:44,105 --> 00:02:45,822
So all I got to do
is book a flight?
65
00:02:45,833 --> 00:02:47,783
Did it. Bam.
66
00:02:47,859 --> 00:02:48,491
You gotta
be kidding.
Here's your itinerary.
67
00:02:48,568 --> 00:02:49,877
You leave
next Thursday.
68
00:02:50,737 --> 00:02:51,670
Uh-oh.
69
00:02:52,581 --> 00:02:54,998
What?
Mmm, 4A.
70
00:02:55,075 --> 00:02:56,141
Yeah.
71
00:02:56,217 --> 00:02:58,084
That's a window.
Yeah.
72
00:02:58,161 --> 00:02:59,544
I really don't
do windows.
73
00:02:59,621 --> 00:03:00,879
I do aisles.
74
00:03:00,956 --> 00:03:02,306
Hate the clouds.
75
00:03:03,175 --> 00:03:04,883
It's no big deal.
76
00:03:04,960 --> 00:03:06,218
Well...
I'll change it.
77
00:03:06,294 --> 00:03:08,261
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
78
00:03:08,338 --> 00:03:09,479
BERNIE: Ahh.
79
00:03:10,423 --> 00:03:12,816
You're gonna
be clean,
there, brother.
80
00:03:13,644 --> 00:03:14,943
Here you go.
81
00:03:15,020 --> 00:03:16,978
I brought you the big one
in case you want to stay
82
00:03:17,055 --> 00:03:19,731
a couple of
extra days
or weeks.
83
00:03:19,808 --> 00:03:20,741
(LAUGHS)
84
00:03:22,060 --> 00:03:23,109
You're something else.
85
00:03:23,186 --> 00:03:24,861
Hey.
Hey, baby.
86
00:03:24,938 --> 00:03:26,905
Oh, Wanda.
87
00:03:26,982 --> 00:03:29,750
I was afraid
you might not be able
to get off early.
88
00:03:31,361 --> 00:03:33,703
You picked up
my dry cleaning.
Thank you.
89
00:03:33,780 --> 00:03:34,713
Ta-dah.
90
00:03:36,166 --> 00:03:38,166
Wait a minute.
91
00:03:38,243 --> 00:03:39,343
This is not
my red suit.
92
00:03:39,419 --> 00:03:41,711
This is my
cranberry-red suit.
93
00:03:41,788 --> 00:03:43,964
Honey, this is your
very sharp suit, okay?
94
00:03:44,040 --> 00:03:45,215
No, it's not.
95
00:03:45,292 --> 00:03:47,100
Honey, it is.
96
00:03:47,177 --> 00:03:48,551
All you have to do is
put a cream-colored
shirt with it, honey,
97
00:03:48,628 --> 00:03:50,929
and you'll look
fantastic.
98
00:03:51,006 --> 00:03:52,222
Here.
99
00:03:52,299 --> 00:03:53,974
I got you
a neck pillow.
100
00:03:54,050 --> 00:03:56,726
(PHONE RINGING)
You remember.
101
00:03:56,803 --> 00:03:59,062
The crook
in my neck.
(PHONE RINGING)
102
00:03:59,139 --> 00:04:01,064
I liked
the other one better.
103
00:04:01,141 --> 00:04:02,315
Anyway...
(GRUNTS)
104
00:04:02,392 --> 00:04:03,367
...this is
top notch.
105
00:04:03,443 --> 00:04:04,660
Stop playing.
BRYANA: Uncle Bernie!
106
00:04:04,736 --> 00:04:05,810
Go ahead.
I'll pack.
Stop hollering!
107
00:04:05,888 --> 00:04:07,788
BRYANA: Uncle Bernie!
Stop hollering!
108
00:04:08,999 --> 00:04:09,998
(SIGHS)
109
00:04:10,984 --> 00:04:12,834
(PHONE BEEPS)
110
00:04:12,911 --> 00:04:15,620
Hello, this is Bernie Mac.
WALKER (OVER PHONE):
Bernie, you still in L.A.?
111
00:04:15,697 --> 00:04:17,414
Yeah, yeah.
WALKER (OVER PHONE):
What? (YELLING)
112
00:04:17,490 --> 00:04:19,115
Oh, ho, ho.
Calm down.
113
00:04:19,193 --> 00:04:21,418
Chill-ax.
WALKER (OVER PHONE):
The ceremony was today!
114
00:04:21,494 --> 00:04:23,478
What do you mean "today"?
WALKER (OVER PHONE): Today!
115
00:04:23,389 --> 00:04:26,089
The kids were all excited,but of course you didn'tbother to show up.
116
00:04:26,166 --> 00:04:27,841
No, no, no, no, no.
WALKER (OVER PHONE):
(YELLING)
117
00:04:27,917 --> 00:04:29,634
Whoa, oh-ho.
118
00:04:29,711 --> 00:04:31,636
Tell me this is
the Bernie Mac
you remember?
119
00:04:31,713 --> 00:04:32,996
WALKER (OVER PHONE):
That's what I said.
120
00:04:33,073 --> 00:04:34,597
Apparently school stillmeans nothing to you.
121
00:04:34,674 --> 00:04:36,850
Principal Walker,
let me do this.
122
00:04:36,860 --> 00:04:38,668
Let me sort this out,
123
00:04:38,745 --> 00:04:40,812
and I'll call you
right back.
WALKER (OVER PHONE): Fine.
124
00:04:40,823 --> 00:04:42,981
Okay, I promise.
WALKER (OVER PHONE): Fine.
125
00:04:43,058 --> 00:04:43,991
All right, thank you.
126
00:04:44,776 --> 00:04:45,742
(PHONE BEEPS)
127
00:04:47,354 --> 00:04:48,453
Honey,
what's wrong?
128
00:04:49,540 --> 00:04:51,748
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
129
00:04:53,109 --> 00:04:54,993
The ceremony is today.
130
00:04:55,070 --> 00:04:57,871
No, I specifically remember
booking your flight
131
00:04:57,947 --> 00:05:01,049
the day before my conference,
which is tomorrow. Oh!
132
00:05:01,877 --> 00:05:02,843
Oh, my God.
133
00:05:04,379 --> 00:05:05,670
Oh, honey.
134
00:05:05,747 --> 00:05:09,424
I must have put
both dates
in my head,
135
00:05:09,435 --> 00:05:12,093
and I booked your flight
for the date of my conference.
136
00:05:12,170 --> 00:05:13,511
I'm sorry.
137
00:05:13,588 --> 00:05:16,023
BERNIE: Oh, Wanda,
what am I gonna do now?
138
00:05:16,966 --> 00:05:18,233
Can they reschedule?
139
00:05:18,310 --> 00:05:20,185
BERNIE: No,
they can't reschedule.
140
00:05:20,261 --> 00:05:22,187
They already revealed
the statue.
141
00:05:22,197 --> 00:05:24,314
Probably got graffiti
all on it.
142
00:05:24,391 --> 00:05:26,149
So you're
not going?
143
00:05:26,226 --> 00:05:27,942
Apparently not.
144
00:05:28,019 --> 00:05:29,536
(SIGHS) Great.
145
00:05:32,315 --> 00:05:34,416
Honey, I am so sorry.
146
00:05:35,702 --> 00:05:38,545
Wanda, I just can't believe
you got the date wrong.
147
00:05:38,997 --> 00:05:39,963
(GRUNTS)
148
00:05:41,541 --> 00:05:43,050
It was a mistake.
149
00:05:44,369 --> 00:05:47,003
A big mistake, Wanda.
150
00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:48,713
(SIGHS) Okay,
you know what?
151
00:05:48,790 --> 00:05:51,216
I made an error.
I'm sorry.
152
00:05:51,292 --> 00:05:53,760
I mean, between my job
and corralling the kids,
153
00:05:53,771 --> 00:05:56,179
and making dinner
and booking your flight
154
00:05:56,256 --> 00:05:57,472
and picking up
your suit
155
00:05:57,549 --> 00:05:59,232
and picking up
a neck pillow
for you,
156
00:05:59,309 --> 00:06:01,976
I made one mistake.
157
00:06:01,987 --> 00:06:03,779
On the biggest part!
158
00:06:05,515 --> 00:06:06,740
You know what?
159
00:06:08,268 --> 00:06:09,659
I don't work
for you.
160
00:06:10,862 --> 00:06:12,862
I'm your wife,
161
00:06:12,873 --> 00:06:15,457
and sweetheart,
if you don't like
the way I do things...
162
00:06:16,025 --> 00:06:17,084
hire an assistant.
163
00:06:18,695 --> 00:06:19,628
(SIGHS)
164
00:06:23,158 --> 00:06:24,091
(BRIGHT PING)
165
00:06:24,968 --> 00:06:27,511
That's not a half-bad idea.
166
00:06:27,587 --> 00:06:32,090
Oh, I know Wanda said it
to be snippy, but why not?
167
00:06:32,167 --> 00:06:34,509
See, America,
with an assistant,
168
00:06:34,586 --> 00:06:36,636
there's less
for Wanda to do
169
00:06:36,713 --> 00:06:38,980
and therefore
there's less for her
to mess up.
170
00:06:39,817 --> 00:06:42,851
Win, win.
171
00:06:42,927 --> 00:06:45,186
Problem solved.
172
00:06:45,263 --> 00:06:46,696
Everybody's happy.
173
00:06:49,267 --> 00:06:51,410
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
174
00:06:52,145 --> 00:06:53,987
Oh, you must
be America.
175
00:06:54,063 --> 00:06:55,238
Hi, I'm Dosha,
176
00:06:55,315 --> 00:06:56,990
Mr. Mac's
personal assistant.
177
00:06:57,066 --> 00:06:58,199
Mr. Mac is expecting you.
178
00:06:58,210 --> 00:06:59,626
You just follow me, please.
179
00:07:04,199 --> 00:07:05,465
Can I get you anything?
180
00:07:05,876 --> 00:07:06,916
Water?
181
00:07:06,993 --> 00:07:08,510
No? Okay.
182
00:07:10,297 --> 00:07:11,430
Well, here we are.
183
00:07:14,542 --> 00:07:16,518
Mr. Mac, your 3:00 is here.
184
00:07:17,587 --> 00:07:20,013
BERNIE: I'm not here.
(SIGHS)
185
00:07:20,089 --> 00:07:21,606
Mr. Mac, it's America.
186
00:07:22,383 --> 00:07:24,100
BERNIE: Oh, America.
187
00:07:24,177 --> 00:07:25,610
Send them right in.
(CHUCKLES)
188
00:07:26,262 --> 00:07:27,404
After you.
189
00:07:28,848 --> 00:07:29,781
BERNIE: Hey.
190
00:07:30,808 --> 00:07:31,741
How you doing?
191
00:07:33,228 --> 00:07:34,953
(DOOR SHUTS)
Hey, America,
192
00:07:35,873 --> 00:07:36,872
look at that.
193
00:07:37,482 --> 00:07:39,040
Isn't she fantastic?
194
00:07:40,109 --> 00:07:42,452
My own personal assistant.
195
00:07:42,463 --> 00:07:45,330
Now, I know what
some of you all
are thinking.
196
00:07:45,406 --> 00:07:47,248
Bernie Mac with his own
personal assistant,
197
00:07:47,325 --> 00:07:48,467
he's gone Hollywood.
198
00:07:49,077 --> 00:07:50,585
That's not so,
199
00:07:50,662 --> 00:07:53,296
and just because
I'm my own man,
200
00:07:53,373 --> 00:07:55,006
I'm self made,
201
00:07:55,083 --> 00:07:56,549
don't...
(KNOCKS ON DOOR)
202
00:07:56,626 --> 00:07:59,019
...don't think I can't make
my own cappuccino.
203
00:08:01,381 --> 00:08:02,981
Thank you.
You're welcome.
204
00:08:04,234 --> 00:08:06,318
(SIGHS) Look
at that, America.
205
00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:08,904
Oh, smell the cocoa.
206
00:08:10,014 --> 00:08:10,947
Mmm.
207
00:08:11,724 --> 00:08:13,008
And the foam.
208
00:08:13,084 --> 00:08:14,868
That's what
turns me on.
Mm-hmm.
209
00:08:19,148 --> 00:08:20,365
It's kind of cold.
210
00:08:20,441 --> 00:08:21,833
Would you like me
to warm it up?
211
00:08:22,443 --> 00:08:23,743
Yes, would you?
212
00:08:23,820 --> 00:08:24,753
I'm so sorry.
213
00:08:27,132 --> 00:08:28,882
...this meeting
on Monday.
214
00:08:28,959 --> 00:08:31,334
BERNIE: Tuesday.
That's when I trap shoot,
and everything.
215
00:08:31,411 --> 00:08:33,002
Oh, hey, honey.
216
00:08:33,079 --> 00:08:34,587
Hey, baby.
Hi, I'm sorry.
217
00:08:34,664 --> 00:08:36,765
I didn't know
we had company.
Mwah.
218
00:08:36,841 --> 00:08:38,675
I'm sorry,
that's a little early
for Mr. Mac.
219
00:08:38,751 --> 00:08:40,260
Oh.
Can we try
a lunch meeting?
220
00:08:40,270 --> 00:08:41,478
Sure. I'll hold.
221
00:08:43,756 --> 00:08:44,614
Who's that?
222
00:08:44,525 --> 00:08:46,266
Her name
is Dosha.
Oh.
223
00:08:46,342 --> 00:08:48,017
She's my
new assistant.
224
00:08:48,094 --> 00:08:49,569
You have
a new assistant?
225
00:08:50,555 --> 00:08:52,522
Yeah. You're the one
who recommended it.
226
00:08:52,599 --> 00:08:54,691
Yeah, I did
recommend it,
227
00:08:54,767 --> 00:08:58,662
but obviously you didn't
really understand
what I meant.
228
00:08:58,738 --> 00:09:00,163
Excuse me,
Mr. Mac.
Yes.
229
00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:01,681
You're confirmed
for lunch
230
00:09:01,758 --> 00:09:04,117
with Mr. Hudland tomorrow,
1:00 at the Ivy.
All right.
231
00:09:04,193 --> 00:09:05,660
I'm so sorry.
I'm Dosha.
232
00:09:05,671 --> 00:09:08,338
Hi. I'm Wanda.
Wanda Mac,
April 26. Yes.
233
00:09:08,415 --> 00:09:09,706
Hey, that's
her birthday.
234
00:09:09,782 --> 00:09:11,508
Mm-hmm.
She even got
that down.
235
00:09:11,585 --> 00:09:13,585
Well...
So you know I'll
never forget it now.
236
00:09:13,661 --> 00:09:15,378
It's on
every calendar
in the house.
237
00:09:15,455 --> 00:09:16,721
Yeah.
Yeah.
238
00:09:17,498 --> 00:09:18,640
(KEYBOARD BEEPING)
239
00:09:21,628 --> 00:09:23,219
Hi. Dosha, right?
240
00:09:23,296 --> 00:09:26,055
Yeah. Jordan,
December 2nd.
241
00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:28,224
Hey, you're good.
242
00:09:28,301 --> 00:09:31,686
Wow. Uncle Bernie
sure knows a lot
of famous people.
243
00:09:31,697 --> 00:09:35,156
I didn't know Sean Wayans
had brothers.
(CHUCKLES)
244
00:09:36,100 --> 00:09:38,326
Who's Paul Levesque?
245
00:09:38,403 --> 00:09:39,995
Oh, you know him,
that's Triple H.
246
00:09:41,064 --> 00:09:42,488
You mean the wrestler?
247
00:09:42,565 --> 00:09:45,491
Uncle Bernie
knows Triple H?
Guess so.
248
00:09:45,568 --> 00:09:47,869
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I've got some
inputting to do.
249
00:09:47,945 --> 00:09:49,495
Huh? Oh, sure.
250
00:09:49,572 --> 00:09:51,715
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
251
00:09:53,293 --> 00:09:54,467
(KEYBOARD BEEPING)
252
00:10:00,166 --> 00:10:01,099
(PHONE BEEPING)
253
00:10:03,795 --> 00:10:07,430
(PHONE RINGS AND BEEPS)
Hello?
254
00:10:07,507 --> 00:10:09,641
Is this Triple H?
Wrong number.
255
00:10:09,717 --> 00:10:12,101
JORDAN (OVER PHONE):
Okay, I know it's you, Paul.
256
00:10:12,178 --> 00:10:14,103
Just say it one time
and I'll leave you alone.
257
00:10:14,180 --> 00:10:16,648
Say what?
You know.
258
00:10:16,724 --> 00:10:20,276
"I am the game
and I am
that damn good."
259
00:10:20,353 --> 00:10:21,361
I'm hanging up.
260
00:10:21,371 --> 00:10:23,196
I'll just keep calling.
261
00:10:23,272 --> 00:10:24,906
All right, one time,
all right?
262
00:10:24,916 --> 00:10:27,200
But you never
call here again
you got that?
263
00:10:27,276 --> 00:10:28,576
I promise.
264
00:10:28,653 --> 00:10:30,754
I am the game,
and I'm that damn good.
265
00:10:30,830 --> 00:10:32,622
No, say it like
you mean it.
266
00:10:32,699 --> 00:10:33,757
Say it like you're
gonna pedigree
267
00:10:33,833 --> 00:10:35,467
Stone Cold
Steve Austin.
268
00:10:36,461 --> 00:10:40,213
I am the game
and I'm that damn good!
269
00:10:40,289 --> 00:10:42,474
Cool. Talk to you
tomorrow. Bye.
270
00:10:42,842 --> 00:10:43,808
Hey, wait!
271
00:10:44,627 --> 00:10:45,769
(PHONE BEEPS)
272
00:10:47,171 --> 00:10:49,847
Oh! Good evening,
Mrs. Mac.
Oh, Dosha.
273
00:10:49,924 --> 00:10:51,891
I threw that
frozen lasagna in
the oven for dinner.
274
00:10:51,968 --> 00:10:53,610
Should be ready in
about a half hour.
275
00:10:54,303 --> 00:10:55,428
That's for tomorrow night.
276
00:10:55,505 --> 00:10:57,355
I'm sorry.
Mr. Mac said
he was hungry
277
00:10:57,432 --> 00:10:58,648
and I was just trying
to get dinner going.
278
00:10:58,659 --> 00:11:00,108
Mm.
It looked
delicious.
279
00:11:00,184 --> 00:11:01,150
Was it your recipe?
280
00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:02,160
Mm-hmm.
281
00:11:04,063 --> 00:11:07,123
BERNIE: Oh, hey, I feel
a little tired tonight.
282
00:11:08,118 --> 00:11:09,959
(MOAN)
283
00:11:10,036 --> 00:11:12,253
Mmm. You smell nice.
Is that new?
Thank you.
284
00:11:12,905 --> 00:11:14,172
Yeah, baby.
285
00:11:14,249 --> 00:11:15,289
Dosha bought it
for me.
286
00:11:15,300 --> 00:11:17,458
Isn't she amazing?
Smell it.
287
00:11:17,535 --> 00:11:19,043
Yeah, I smelled you
when you got in bed.
288
00:11:19,054 --> 00:11:20,053
Mmm.
289
00:11:21,289 --> 00:11:23,005
(MOAN)
(CLEARS THROAT)
290
00:11:23,082 --> 00:11:24,015
What's wrong, baby?
291
00:11:26,169 --> 00:11:29,979
You know, I've been buying
you lotion for 12 years.
Uh-huh.
292
00:11:30,056 --> 00:11:32,982
And I don't remember
you calling me amazing.
293
00:11:33,059 --> 00:11:36,352
Oh, Wanda. You know
I love the way
you buy me lotion.
294
00:11:36,429 --> 00:11:37,437
Come on, now.
(CLICKS TONGUE)
295
00:11:37,513 --> 00:11:39,698
No. You know what?
I'm not playing.
296
00:11:41,225 --> 00:11:42,701
What you talking about?
297
00:11:43,352 --> 00:11:45,069
You know...
(SIGHS)
298
00:11:45,146 --> 00:11:46,996
you make me feel like
you don't appreciate
299
00:11:47,073 --> 00:11:50,450
all the little things
that I do for you.
Aw, stop it. I'm not,
300
00:11:50,460 --> 00:11:52,836
I'm not going there
with you. Not tonight.
301
00:11:53,488 --> 00:11:55,663
Come on, now, Wanda.
302
00:11:55,740 --> 00:11:58,717
I appreciate
everything you do
for me.
303
00:11:58,793 --> 00:12:00,376
I might not notice
a lot, baby,
304
00:12:00,453 --> 00:12:01,803
because they be
so little.
305
00:12:02,472 --> 00:12:04,055
I'm a big-picture man.
306
00:12:05,166 --> 00:12:06,099
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
307
00:12:07,460 --> 00:12:09,719
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
308
00:12:09,796 --> 00:12:13,606
Hey, sweetheart,
you forgot to set
the alarm this morning.
309
00:12:13,683 --> 00:12:16,359
Oh, did I?
Yeah, you did.
310
00:12:16,436 --> 00:12:18,311
Made me miss
my golf time
311
00:12:18,387 --> 00:12:19,863
at the Riviera
this morning.
312
00:12:19,939 --> 00:12:22,949
You know it takes me
months to set that
tee time up.
313
00:12:27,146 --> 00:12:31,407
Doggone it.
Who set the butter
inside the refrigerator?
314
00:12:31,484 --> 00:12:32,825
Oh, I guess
I did that.
315
00:12:32,902 --> 00:12:35,495
Sweetheart, you know
how much I hate that.
316
00:12:35,571 --> 00:12:38,164
It gets all hard
and cold
and everything.
317
00:12:38,241 --> 00:12:39,957
Then when
I go to put it
on the toast,
318
00:12:40,034 --> 00:12:41,926
it puts holes
in the toast.
319
00:12:42,954 --> 00:12:44,411
Damn.
320
00:12:44,489 --> 00:12:47,673
You see what
she's trying to do,
America? Don't you?
321
00:12:47,684 --> 00:12:50,009
She's trying to
make me feel bad.
322
00:12:50,086 --> 00:12:53,387
Punish me
by withholding
her niceties.
323
00:12:53,464 --> 00:12:55,640
But what she can't see is,
324
00:12:55,716 --> 00:12:58,351
there's a hole in her plan,
325
00:12:58,427 --> 00:13:00,987
and I know
how to fill it.
326
00:13:02,574 --> 00:13:04,232
Oh, yeah.
327
00:13:04,308 --> 00:13:05,775
And I'll watch
the kids for you,
no problem.
328
00:13:05,852 --> 00:13:07,276
BERNIE: Dosha, I...
you don't have to
do that.
329
00:13:07,353 --> 00:13:09,362
It's okay,
it's all right.
I don't mind.
330
00:13:09,438 --> 00:13:11,280
Thank you.
You're welcome.
331
00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:12,582
WANDA:
Afternoon, Dosha.
332
00:13:12,659 --> 00:13:14,042
Hi, Mrs. Mac.
333
00:13:14,118 --> 00:13:15,084
Hi, baby.
334
00:13:16,120 --> 00:13:17,086
Mm-hmm.
335
00:13:17,547 --> 00:13:19,047
Excuse me, Dosha.
336
00:13:23,077 --> 00:13:24,594
Hey.
337
00:13:24,671 --> 00:13:27,797
You know, I want
to apologize to you,
I really do.
338
00:13:27,808 --> 00:13:29,090
For all the things
you been doing.
339
00:13:29,166 --> 00:13:31,050
I know it had to be
quite boring to you.
340
00:13:31,127 --> 00:13:33,636
Uh-uh,
I never said
it was boring.
341
00:13:33,713 --> 00:13:35,563
BERNIE: But it couldn't
have been any fun.
342
00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:37,607
You no longer
have to do that.
343
00:13:37,684 --> 00:13:40,610
Especially with
Dosha here.
Right, Dosha?
344
00:13:40,687 --> 00:13:42,654
Sure, I guess so.
345
00:13:44,348 --> 00:13:45,598
Hmm.
346
00:13:45,675 --> 00:13:48,651
So I'm being replaced
by your assistant?
347
00:13:48,728 --> 00:13:50,328
No, no. Ain't no...
348
00:13:51,314 --> 00:13:52,454
ain't no such thing.
349
00:13:52,532 --> 00:13:54,082
I ain't got
no doggone
assistant.
350
00:13:54,734 --> 00:13:56,376
We have an assistant.
351
00:13:56,986 --> 00:13:57,894
"We"?
352
00:13:57,838 --> 00:14:00,162
That should handle everything.
353
00:14:00,239 --> 00:14:03,499
Now that she doesn't have
to take care of Mac Man,
354
00:14:03,576 --> 00:14:05,835
Wanda have more time
for herself.
355
00:14:05,846 --> 00:14:08,296
And let me tell you
something, America.
356
00:14:08,372 --> 00:14:09,714
This assistant thing
357
00:14:09,724 --> 00:14:12,100
is real easy to get used to.
358
00:14:13,002 --> 00:14:14,468
DOSHA: Excuse me,
America.
359
00:14:14,545 --> 00:14:15,645
Mr. Mac,
here's your mail.
360
00:14:15,722 --> 00:14:17,605
Minus the junk mail,
of course.
361
00:14:17,682 --> 00:14:18,898
Thank you.
362
00:14:22,094 --> 00:14:23,862
Ooh.
363
00:14:23,938 --> 00:14:26,564
You know what?
Thank you for
all of your help.
364
00:14:26,641 --> 00:14:28,366
It's what I do.
All right.
365
00:14:29,193 --> 00:14:31,152
Dosha.
366
00:14:31,228 --> 00:14:34,906
You know I had
a 4:00 appointment
w-with Mama Kim?
367
00:14:34,982 --> 00:14:36,949
You told me...
You told me
368
00:14:37,026 --> 00:14:38,784
that you were going
to watch the kids.
369
00:14:38,861 --> 00:14:40,745
That lady
cursed me out
in Korean.
370
00:14:40,821 --> 00:14:44,173
Ooh.
I'm sorry, but Mrs. Mac
said it was okay
371
00:14:44,250 --> 00:14:46,125
and asked me
to help her run
a few errands.
372
00:14:46,202 --> 00:14:48,511
Yeah, because
she's our assistant.
373
00:14:48,588 --> 00:14:50,930
No, she's more mine
than she is yours.
374
00:14:51,874 --> 00:14:53,341
You know, maybe
I should go check
375
00:14:53,417 --> 00:14:55,134
some e-mails
or something.
No, no, no.
376
00:14:55,211 --> 00:14:56,886
You don't need
to go check on
no e-mail.
377
00:14:56,897 --> 00:14:58,787
You haven't done
anything wrong.
378
00:14:58,865 --> 00:15:00,765
You know, maybe you
should go check on
some e-mails, sweetie,
379
00:15:00,841 --> 00:15:02,025
and let me talk
to my husband
in private.
380
00:15:02,101 --> 00:15:03,517
You don't tell her
where to go
381
00:15:03,594 --> 00:15:05,144
when I'm talking
to her, Wanda.
382
00:15:05,221 --> 00:15:07,271
That's your problem.
You interfere.
383
00:15:07,348 --> 00:15:08,773
Excuse me, hi, hey,
you know what?
This conversation
384
00:15:08,849 --> 00:15:11,567
is about to
get heavy.
Hey, hi, there.
385
00:15:11,644 --> 00:15:13,903
This is starting
to feel a lot like
Nick Nolte's house
386
00:15:13,980 --> 00:15:15,738
and I really
don't need this.
Here you go.
387
00:15:15,815 --> 00:15:16,781
Thank you.
How's this...
388
00:15:16,857 --> 00:15:18,115
(ALL TALKING AT ONCE)
389
00:15:18,192 --> 00:15:20,201
WANDA: Why are
you talking to her
like that...
390
00:15:20,277 --> 00:15:22,078
So, you quit?
WANDA: ...if she's supposed
to be your assistant?
391
00:15:22,154 --> 00:15:24,213
I ain't never had
nobody quit on me.
See? You know what?
392
00:15:25,050 --> 00:15:26,341
America.
393
00:15:26,417 --> 00:15:28,376
Wanda did that on purpose.
394
00:15:28,452 --> 00:15:30,586
She knew my nails was raggedy.
395
00:15:30,663 --> 00:15:32,079
What's her problem?
396
00:15:32,157 --> 00:15:34,674
I was nice enough
to share my assistant
with her.
397
00:15:34,750 --> 00:15:36,676
Try to make her life easier.
398
00:15:36,752 --> 00:15:38,678
Spiteful woman.
399
00:15:38,754 --> 00:15:40,805
I ought to get
a new assistant
400
00:15:40,881 --> 00:15:42,774
just to deal with
all her bull.
401
00:15:46,512 --> 00:15:47,654
(PHONE BEEPING)
402
00:15:55,730 --> 00:15:56,955
WANDA: Bernie?
Hmm?
403
00:15:57,031 --> 00:15:58,581
It kills me
every time
I see this picture.
404
00:15:58,658 --> 00:16:00,449
Could you please
hang it up now?
405
00:16:00,526 --> 00:16:01,784
I can't do it now.
406
00:16:01,861 --> 00:16:04,662
I'm texting Jerry
about my concert dates.
407
00:16:04,739 --> 00:16:06,539
Okay, so when
do you think
you'll have time?
408
00:16:06,615 --> 00:16:09,583
I don't know.
Ever since Dosha quit,
409
00:16:09,660 --> 00:16:11,752
I've had to do things
by myself.
410
00:16:11,829 --> 00:16:14,130
So, thanks to you,
411
00:16:14,206 --> 00:16:16,391
I'll get to it
whenever I get to it.
412
00:16:17,418 --> 00:16:18,384
To what?
413
00:16:18,461 --> 00:16:20,052
Thanks to me,
Dosha quit?
414
00:16:20,129 --> 00:16:21,887
It's not my fault.
415
00:16:21,898 --> 00:16:25,057
And congratulations,
your little plan worked.
416
00:16:25,134 --> 00:16:28,277
What plan?
To punish me for
having that assistant.
417
00:16:29,472 --> 00:16:30,563
Why do I bother?
418
00:16:30,639 --> 00:16:31,990
Yeah,
why do I bother?
419
00:16:32,066 --> 00:16:34,242
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING ON TV)
420
00:16:37,122 --> 00:16:38,121
(PHONE BEEPING)
421
00:16:40,816 --> 00:16:42,208
(PHONE RINGS)
422
00:16:43,402 --> 00:16:44,577
(PHONE BEEPS)
423
00:16:44,653 --> 00:16:45,628
Hello?
424
00:16:45,705 --> 00:16:47,005
Hey, Trip, it's me.
425
00:16:48,616 --> 00:16:49,799
'Course it is.
426
00:16:50,418 --> 00:16:51,384
So what you doing?
427
00:16:52,119 --> 00:16:53,294
Nothing.
428
00:16:53,370 --> 00:16:54,503
What are you doing?
429
00:16:54,580 --> 00:16:56,297
I built a ramp
for my bike.
430
00:16:56,307 --> 00:16:57,432
You should have
seen it.
431
00:16:57,508 --> 00:16:59,633
I got some
sweet air.
432
00:16:59,644 --> 00:17:01,385
Oh, you should be
careful with that.
433
00:17:01,462 --> 00:17:03,312
You might break
your neck.
434
00:17:03,389 --> 00:17:05,139
I'd like to
do that myself.
435
00:17:05,150 --> 00:17:07,308
You sound just
like my uncle.
436
00:17:07,384 --> 00:17:08,893
Oh, yeah?
Who's your uncle?
437
00:17:08,969 --> 00:17:11,112
Nuh-uh, I wasn't
born yesterday.
438
00:17:12,264 --> 00:17:13,573
Oh, what a hit!
439
00:17:13,649 --> 00:17:14,732
What ya watching?
440
00:17:14,809 --> 00:17:17,026
Uh, Fox Sports,
Channel 203.
441
00:17:17,103 --> 00:17:18,444
Hold it,they're gonnareplay it.
442
00:17:22,316 --> 00:17:24,575
TRIPLE H:
Oh, that was
a vicious hit.
443
00:17:24,652 --> 00:17:27,119
I know.
He laid him out cold!
444
00:17:27,196 --> 00:17:28,171
(CLATTERING)
445
00:17:32,243 --> 00:17:35,344
(SIGHS) Doggone it,
where is it?
446
00:17:37,256 --> 00:17:38,631
Ooh.
447
00:17:38,707 --> 00:17:41,258
You made a mess.
BERNIE: It's my house.
448
00:17:41,335 --> 00:17:42,935
I can make
a mess.
449
00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:45,003
Oh, baby girl,
450
00:17:45,081 --> 00:17:46,931
do you know
what Aunt Wanda did
with my charger?
451
00:17:47,007 --> 00:17:49,567
No. Do you want
me to ask her?
No, no, no, no.
452
00:17:49,644 --> 00:17:52,394
I don't want you
to ask her nothing.
I'll do it myself.
453
00:17:52,471 --> 00:17:53,646
(THUDS)
(WANDA SCREAMS)
454
00:17:53,722 --> 00:17:55,782
Bernie!
What the hell is that?
455
00:17:57,143 --> 00:17:58,609
Wanda?
456
00:17:58,686 --> 00:18:01,695
(WANDA MOANS)
BERNIE: Hey, hey, hey,
you all right?
457
00:18:01,772 --> 00:18:03,405
No, I was trying to
hang the picture up
458
00:18:03,482 --> 00:18:04,957
and it fell
on my foot.
459
00:18:05,034 --> 00:18:07,451
Why would you
try to do that?
I'd have done it for you.
460
00:18:07,462 --> 00:18:10,579
Ugh.
BERNIE: No, no, no!
D-don't try to move.
461
00:18:10,656 --> 00:18:12,464
I'm gonna
call the doctor.
462
00:18:12,542 --> 00:18:14,133
WANDA: Wouldn't it be easier
if you just drove me
to the emergency room?
463
00:18:14,702 --> 00:18:16,235
Hell, no.
464
00:18:16,312 --> 00:18:19,171
Ain't no second year intern
gonna look at my wife's foot.
465
00:18:19,248 --> 00:18:21,632
I'm calling
the Lakers' doctor
who looked at, uh...
466
00:18:21,709 --> 00:18:22,883
at Shaq's toe.
467
00:18:22,960 --> 00:18:24,135
You stay right there.
468
00:18:24,145 --> 00:18:25,302
Don't move.
469
00:18:25,379 --> 00:18:26,345
(GROANING)
470
00:18:28,007 --> 00:18:29,807
So what age
did you start growing?
471
00:18:29,884 --> 00:18:33,561
You do realize
when I find out
who you are,
472
00:18:33,637 --> 00:18:34,854
I'm gonna kill you.
473
00:18:34,930 --> 00:18:36,322
Yeah, but you
won't find out.
474
00:18:37,558 --> 00:18:39,041
Hey, I'm on
the phone.
475
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:41,318
Jordan, listen,
I need you to
hang up right away.
476
00:18:41,395 --> 00:18:42,862
Your Auntie,
she hurt her ankle.
477
00:18:42,938 --> 00:18:44,738
I have to call
the hospital.
478
00:18:44,815 --> 00:18:46,958
Bernie? Is that you?
479
00:18:47,359 --> 00:18:48,300
Paul?
480
00:18:48,377 --> 00:18:49,502
What you doing
on the phone?
481
00:18:50,404 --> 00:18:51,328
(CHUCKLE)
482
00:18:51,405 --> 00:18:53,381
So that's how
you got my number.
483
00:18:53,457 --> 00:18:54,841
Jordan...
484
00:18:55,743 --> 00:18:57,418
I'm gonna kill you.
485
00:18:57,494 --> 00:18:58,427
(PHONE BEEPS)
486
00:19:00,289 --> 00:19:01,881
BERNIE: How's this, baby?
WANDA: Honey,
487
00:19:01,957 --> 00:19:03,641
please, don't move it again.
488
00:19:03,718 --> 00:19:04,892
I won't.
489
00:19:06,396 --> 00:19:09,013
(SIGHS) Let me
straighten you up
a little bit, okay?
490
00:19:09,089 --> 00:19:11,891
Okay, take it easy.
I am, sweetheart.
491
00:19:11,967 --> 00:19:13,317
Here, raise up,
raise up.
492
00:19:14,511 --> 00:19:15,769
Ooh.
Oh, I'm sorry.
493
00:19:15,846 --> 00:19:17,188
Okay, that's too high.
494
00:19:17,264 --> 00:19:19,064
Okay, now this
is gonna
have to do it
495
00:19:19,141 --> 00:19:20,867
until I go out
and get you
a better one.
496
00:19:21,360 --> 00:19:22,526
It's fine.
497
00:19:22,603 --> 00:19:23,786
Anything else
I can get you?
498
00:19:23,863 --> 00:19:25,446
Are you cold?
Need a blanket?
499
00:19:25,522 --> 00:19:26,906
(WANDA CHUCKLES)
500
00:19:26,982 --> 00:19:29,533
Honey, I just have
a sprain, okay?
Okay.
501
00:19:29,610 --> 00:19:32,587
You don't have to
do all this because
you feel guilty.
502
00:19:33,280 --> 00:19:34,213
What?
503
00:19:36,134 --> 00:19:39,201
You think I'm doing
all this because
I feel guilty?
504
00:19:42,957 --> 00:19:44,557
Wanda, let me
tell you something.
505
00:19:45,501 --> 00:19:47,977
I'm doing this because
you're my wife
506
00:19:48,763 --> 00:19:50,062
and I love you,
507
00:19:50,923 --> 00:19:53,858
and I want you
to be comfortable.
508
00:19:53,935 --> 00:19:56,694
That's the only reason
why I'm doing it.
509
00:19:56,771 --> 00:19:58,771
Aww, honey,
that's sweet.
510
00:19:58,847 --> 00:20:01,148
See, now that's all
I was trying to say...
511
00:20:01,225 --> 00:20:02,733
that the things
that I do for you,
512
00:20:02,810 --> 00:20:05,236
I do them
because I love you.
I know.
513
00:20:05,312 --> 00:20:08,280
Because you do nice things
for people that you love.
Yeah.
514
00:20:08,357 --> 00:20:11,784
That's all I was trying
to get you to understand.
I know.
515
00:20:11,860 --> 00:20:14,078
SINGER: ♪ So in love
516
00:20:14,154 --> 00:20:15,963
You know
something else,
Wanda?
517
00:20:16,991 --> 00:20:18,925
I feel like an ass.
518
00:20:20,795 --> 00:20:22,386
Aw, it's okay.
519
00:20:23,038 --> 00:20:25,214
But you stay
right there.
520
00:20:25,225 --> 00:20:28,050
You'll have to
chill-ax, relax.
521
00:20:28,127 --> 00:20:30,427
'Cause I've got
dinner almost ready
522
00:20:30,504 --> 00:20:31,762
and I made
your favorite.
523
00:20:31,773 --> 00:20:32,939
What?
Guess what?
524
00:20:33,674 --> 00:20:36,234
Cornish hen,
wild rice.
525
00:20:36,310 --> 00:20:39,436
JORDAN: What are
we gonna eat?
'Cause I am starvi...
526
00:20:39,513 --> 00:20:40,947
Hello, Jordan.
527
00:20:41,941 --> 00:20:43,607
It's time to
play the game.
528
00:20:43,684 --> 00:20:44,617
(WHIMPERS)
529
00:20:45,444 --> 00:20:46,443
(SNORTS)
530
00:20:46,520 --> 00:20:47,453
(CHUCKLING)
531
00:20:52,443 --> 00:20:54,543
You see what
she's trying to do!
532
00:20:56,655 --> 00:20:58,289
Don't you, America?
533
00:20:58,365 --> 00:21:00,582
She's trying to
make me feel real bad,
534
00:21:00,659 --> 00:21:04,003
punish me,
withholding her nice...
535
00:21:04,079 --> 00:21:05,972
(CHOKING AND COUGHING)
536
00:21:09,918 --> 00:21:11,060
(MUTTERING)
537
00:21:12,671 --> 00:21:13,604
(LAUGHTER)
538
00:21:17,885 --> 00:21:19,402
It went down
the wrong pipe.
539
00:21:20,429 --> 00:21:21,487
Niceties.
37766
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